#not when she was mentally debating about her plan in the temples

[ilylovelyz]

⍣ ೋ Rom-Com Gone Wrong

˚ · . bakugou katsuki x afab!reader

: ̗̀➛ takes place during their third year, mentions of injuries and blood, forced intake of aphrodisiac, unestablished relationship, mutual pining, love confession, both characters are 18, protected sex, implied unprotected sex, virgnity loss, misunderstandings, a bit angsty, bakugou is lowky ooc and gentle, this is really long

following a rough battle with a rather inconvenient villian and his quirk, y/n finds herself induced with aphrodisiac against her will. she wins the encounter, only to be told if she doesn't relieve her sexual desires within 24 hours with another individual she will die.

"i'll be the one to do it," mineta says, trying to sound nonchalant about the situation, flipping his non-existent hair off to the side if his shoulder. the girls, in unison, disagree verbally, knowing of his creepy tendencies.

"can't she just do it with a girl?" tsuyuri thinks aloud, attempting to find an easy way for you to feel more comfortable with the situation. "if that's the case, then i'll do it!" ashido declares, raising her hand in the air.

this has been the subject of conversation for the past hour or so. yes, your classmates and even teachers are conversing on what to do about your current state, on who will be the one to sleep with you. it's almost heartwarming, to know that your classmates care so much about you that they'd be willing to sleep with you if it means you'll live.

which is exactly what it means. exactly nine hours ago, you had a confrontation with a well-wanted villian. you knew of the risks, you knew of his horrendous and taboo quirk. you knew that he used his quirk to take advantage of women who were defenseless and practically leaving them for dead within 24 hours of interaction.

quirks like these were rare, none of your classmates nor teachers had any experience with this type of thing. originally, the teachers were going to discuss of this situation privately, but after almost three hours had gone by with no real possible solutions, they had decided to involve your dearest classmates to come up with something, anything to help save your life.

"no, according to the villian and the tiny information we were able to get out of him, it has to be done with a male." midnight had said, rubbing at her temple to ease her stress. your female classmates groaned with frustration, side-eyeing mineta with disgust.

"t-then i'll do it!" a new contender had volunteered. "y-you? y/n needs a real man, denki—," jirou had said, trying to play of her nervousness with a chuckle. "i agree." momo said sternly.

"no offense but.. how about the boys leave this discussion to the boys." she added on, having distrust in the intentions of her male classmates. "i know you boys just want to do what you can to help her, but we also have to think about how this will affect her mentally."

the topic carried on with the girls, occasionally one of the boys attempted to give a idea, but were almost immediately shot down due to it's risk.

admist to all the tension and debate, there was one who was uncharacteristically quiet. bakugou katsuki.

all of the boys were huddled into a circle, behind the girls, listening into their plan. however, it was bakugou who stuck out like a sore thumb. he kept his hands in his pockets, a rather stoic expression written onto his face as he stared up to the ceiling.

"i'll do it! you guys just gotta trust me!" mineta yelled once more, his body jolting with fear when he was met with clear resistance from the girls.

everyone was too wrapped up in figuring out a game-plan to even notice that bakugou had taken his leave, muttering a scoff at his classmates's immaturity and perversion.

he made his way to the dorms, his hand rubbing at the tense skin of his nape. bakugou stopped in his tracks, seemingly he wasn't the only one who had the same idea. his hands returned to their place in his pockets, his eyebrows furrowing at the sight of his classmate, todoroki shouto, standing a few feet away from your dorm room.

"what are you doing here?" bakugou asked, resting his body weight on his right leg. todoroki looked back at bakugou calmly, observing the blonde's stiff movements. "i want to help y/n-san." todoroki stated, glancing back at the door of your room.

bakugou scoffed at his answer, rolling his eyes to the back of his head. "yeah right—you?" he hissed, coming up to todoroki and shoving him away from your door. "don't make me laugh. i'll be the one to do it."

todoroki stayed in place for a moment, blinking at bakugou's aggression and determination. he glanced once more at your door, and then back to bakugou before sighing with defeat and turning around to head god knows where.

bakugou scoffed once more, not taking his eyes off todoroki until he was well out of his sight. bakugou turned around, his red eyes staring intently at your door. he chewed on the walls of his mouth, wondering how to go about the situation.

as brash as he may be—he's not an idiot. he knows that if you don't end up getting any help within a few mere hours, you'll die. and thats not what he wants. to stand and watch while his dumb classmates argue over who will be the one to have the honor of having sex with you is something he won't abide with.

ೄྀ࿐

a soft moan escaped your lips at the feel of your fingers caressing against your sensitive folds. a drop of sweat ran down your flushed face, running down to your collarbone and dampening the sheer tank you were wearing.

there was a knot in your abdomen, a very tight knot, that has been yet to be undone. normally, when you had this kind of urge, you'd be able to satisfy it yourself. but it's been nearly eight hours since you'be been drugged, and the effects only get more and more intense with every passing minute.

you're tired. your body is coated in a thick layer of sweat, the room smells grossly of your own scent, and it's been eight hours—yet no release. tears sting at your waterline, your hand coming up to cover your pathetic whines and cries as your fingers scissor their way into your cunt, trying to find relief to your frustration.

you gasp with pleasure when your finger nails press ever so slightly against that one spot, hazy eyes going wide when you finally find it. your back arches off the bed, toes curling when you can barely press your fingerpads against that sweet spot, but nonetheless it's something.

your body jolts when you hear a light knock at your door, hands flying to grab onto your blanket to hide your half-naked body. you sat frozen on your bed, eyes watching the door.

a couple of moments later, once again the visitor knocked, snapping you out of your haze. you rushed to find any pajamas or clothes to wear, eventually settling on a pair of grey pajama shorts. the visitor knocks again once more, earning a groan from you. "g-give me a second!" you hiss loudly, dusting off your body and finally walking up to your door.

with a deep inhale, you open up your door a few inches, hiding your sweat-ridden body behind the large frame and peeking out your head to see the visitor.

your heart drops into your stomach at the sight of the familar blonde, his red eyes lidded low at you. "b-bakugou?" you stutter out, your cheeks blushing intensely when you feel your core throb at just the sight of him. "what... are you doing here?" you say, swallowing down the fat lump in your throat.

bakugou stares at you, his facial expressions uncharacteristically calm and unreadable. "..isn't it obvious?" he says nonchalantly, taking a step towards the door. his low tone heats up your body, making you impossibly warmer with embarrassment to top it off with your seemingly insatiable desire.

still, you don't move from the door, and if anything, push it forward so only a few centimeters remain between the frame and the door itself. your forehead rests against the wood, contemplating your options.

bakugou katsuki has come to your door to do the obvious with you. for many others, this would be a dream come true—and it almost is, for you, almost. tears cloud your vision once more at the thoughts that run throughout your head, he's only here because you'll die.

"let me in y/n,—", "no, i don't want you here." you interrupt, still hiding behind the door. bakugou's eyes widen slightly at your refrusal, not expecting you to shut him down given the situation.

to you, it's almost insulting—bakugou katsuki is here to have sex with you, to save you. your crush of many years, is here to have sex with you, but only because he feels the need to save you, not because he wants to.

bakugou sighs silently, he knows its a sensitive matter, that you're practically forced to have sex with someome that you possibly don't like just to live. his fists tighten up into a ball, his eyebrows furrowing at your stubbornness. but he won't have you die, he won't knowing he could help you.

"y/n. open the door or i'm going to break it down myself." he says sternly, his voice raising slightly. it sends shivers down your spine, but still you hold your ground. alas, you find it within yourself to close the door, only for it to be held open by bakugou who most definitely overpowers you when it comes to strength. with a grunt, your already weak arms give in, quickly dropping back to the floor as the door slams against the wall now that bakugou has won the short game of tug-o-war.

bakugou makes his way into your room, not even caring to check if the door handle has made a new hole in the wall. his mouth opens, ready to say something, only to purse into a straight line when he sees the tears flowing down your cheeks.

"i don't want you here." you mumble out, attempting to hide your tears by wiping them away as quick as they came.

with a grunt, bakugou is pulling you up to your feet, his hands gripping onto your shoulders while his lips smash against yours. the kiss is rough, almost uncomfortably stiff. and yet, you almost let out a moan of satisfaction just by him giving the worst kiss ever. he pulls away a moment later, his hands keeping you in place.

not like you'd be able to walk away even if you wanted, your gaze was fixated on his soft features, eyeing those lips of his. this time, it's bakugou whose walking away—and it's you who is running after him.

with haste, you push yourself forward to the blonde, your hand wrapping around his wrist and pulling him back to you. bakugou breathes out a grunt when your lips collide with his once more, desperate and clumsy, more teeth than tongue. you can't help but grab into bakugou's broad shoulders before finding better purchase by wrapping them around his neck, feet on all toes in order to reach his lips.

bakugou pulls away from you, quickly shutting the door and locking it. though, he barely has time to do the second, as soon as the door is closed, you're pushing him against it and shoving your body against his, encapturing his lips with yours once again. he swallows your desperate whines, his tongue fighting for dominance against yours. it's messy, it's not at all in sync—but just that alone has your body heating up than what you thought was possible.

and bakugou can feel it. his hands find purchase on the small of your waist—your skin is hot to the touch, almost fever hot. he raises an eyebrow when the feel of his skin on yours alone has you letting out a soft moan, much to your embarrassment. experimentally, bakugou's hands travel down to the curve of your ass, squeezing the plump flesh lightly, earning a gasp from your lips.

seeing this, bakugou pulls away from you, a fat string of saliva connecting the two of you. his red eyes watch you tortuously, watching the way your delicate features contort with pleasure as his hands explore your ass, his squeezes getting more and more rough as your body reacts. his finger glides up to the hems of your shorts, playing with the drawstrings and eventually pulling on one to untie the knot, allowing your flimsy excuse of so-called shorts to drop and lay around your feet.

your cheeks burn at the way he stares closely at your half-naked body, eyes darting down to the ground when you realize that you didn't even put on any underwear. to you, bakugou is eyeing your body, looking for any imperfections and unsatisfying marks.

but to bakugou, he has to hold back a groan by biting on his lower lip at the sight of your bare cunt. his hands tighten it's grip on your hips, attempting to keep his composure. bakugou finally pushes himself off the door, leading you quickly by the small of your waist to your bed.

with a gentle shove, you're laying down onto your back, your legs dangling off the edge of the mattress. your eyes widen when bakugou's hands grab the hems of his shirt, pulling it up to his head and discarding of his shirt, revealing his rather toned abs and few scars he's gained in the various fights he's gotten into as a hero.

your mouth is agape in awe, practically drooling at the sight of his fit muscles and small waist. without another word, your hand subconsciously reaches for him, generously touching the muscles of his abdomen. for the first time of the night, bakugou finally shows some emotion, smirking widely at your infatuation with his abs.

"i know i got some great abs, huh?" he grins, his hand coming up to rest on the flesh of your thigh. his grin flattens to an slightly agape 'O' when your hand travels down lower to his lower pelvis, your nails caressing the skin, sending shivers down his spine. dangerously, it continues, your fingers meddling with the edge of his baggy pants, circling the metal button.

before you could do anything else, bakugou is grabbing your hand away, and much to your surprise, settles himself inbetween your bare legs, eyeing your exposed cunt. naturally, you rush to close your legs, but are stopped by his hands that rest on both of your inner thighs.

"don't try to hide yourself from me." he growls lowly, his cock growing hard in his pants at the fuller sight of your glistening cunt. a yelp leaves your throat when you are pulled closer to the edge of your bed, cunt mere centimeters from bakugou's face. your eyes close shut, palm hiding your face in embarrassment.

"open your damn eyes, you're gonna watch as i eat this pretty pussy." he hisses out before blowing lightly onto your folds, enjoying the way your thighs shiver. with a lick of his lips, bakugou dives into your cunt, his tongue dragging across your folds and into your core. you let out a rather loud moan at the feel of his tongue exploring your cunt, your hands diving down to entangle themselves in his short blonde locks.

as told, you watch bakugou devour your poor pussy through tears, moaning into your palm to not let anyone hear the way you're getting eaten out by one of your classmates. your eyes roll to the back of your head when you feel bakugou enter his index finger into your tight walls, massaging your gummy walls without mercy.

"bakugou.." you mewl out, back arching off the bed when you feel the knot in your stomach begin to unravel. the fingers tied in his hair pull tightly on his roots, earning a hum of satisfaction leave his lips, vibrating against your clit so deliciously it has you sobbing out his name within seconds and squirming within his tight hold as you cum. tears run down your cheeks as your body convulses with pleasure, eyebrows furrowed intensely as your first orgasm of the night washes over you.

a minute later, you finally come down to earth, chest heaving heavily as your eyes focus down to bakugou who licks up the remains of your delicious juices. it's so over stimulating, but it feels so good, the way his tongue laps up your cum as if he was a starved man.

for a second, you close your eyes, basking in the sweet after-glow of your orgasm before a familar vibrating sound snaps you out of your bliss. bakugou holds up the pink bullet-vibrator within his hand, cocking his head to the right. "this yours?" he asks teasingly, a sly grin painted into his face.

before you could respond, bakugou is pressing the bullet against your clit, sending waves of overstimulated pleasure up your spine. you wiggle and shift on your bed, attempting to get away from it, from him, but in the heat of the moment you seem to have forgotten of bakugou's trained strength. he pins your hips onto the bed with ease with one hand, and holds the bullet to your clit with the other.

he evilly chuckles into your cunt, his tongue gliding into your tight hole. your cries and pleas are melodies to his ears, and he only stops when your thighs are shaking for a second time around his head and your pussy walls are tightening up around his tongue. he hungrily laps up your fluids once more, the tip of his nose brushing up against your clit as he discards of the vibrator in order to grab onto the back of your thighs and practically smothers himself into your pussy.

finally, once he's deemed you cleaned up and not an ounce of your cum wasted, he pulls away from your drenched pussy. his chin glistens with your juices, his tongue lapping up any remains on his lips. his ruby red eyes watch as your chest heaves up and down, his hand grabbing your wrist that was covering your flushed face and discarding it to the side.

he passionately kisses you, not like the kisses you two shared earlier. rather, your inhaling his heavy breaths as his hips roll subconsciously into yours, his hard-on poking against your inner thigh. "bakugou.." you exhaled against his lips, your hand sliding inbetween your close bodies to palm his confined cock.

bakugou lets out a almost pained groan, his eyebrows furrowing at the feel of your hand brushing against his cock's tip. "fuck.." he groans, his head dipping down to your chest when your hand slides below his trousers and over his confined boner. "wanna help you too bakugou," you mumble shyly, batting those pretty eyelashes at him.

the tempered blonde seems to have been frozen in place at your unexpected boldness, his cock growing impossibly harder at your words. he curses under his breath when your hand glides in between the gap of his boxers, your fingers coming into contact with the skin of his cock.

you're so unexpected. it's all bakugou can ever think of. unlike all the others, you've surprised him the most. you've surprised him with your wits—instead of strength and speed. no matter how mean or offensive he's been to you, you've been nothing but a saint—going so far to even nurse him back to health after a particularly aggressive battle with a villian.

thats why he had to be the one to help you. after all you've done for him, he had to return the favor in the one time he could save your life, even if it meant having sex would save you. he wasn't about to let those ungrateful, clueless extras do it with you either when they didn't deserve the opportunity to have you so vulnerable for them.

and having sex with you doesn't seem too bad, not in the slightest. especially not when your hand is pumping his cock so deliciously. bakugou's lips apart slightly, a sharp gasp escaping when your palm tightens around his sensitive cock.

you jolt when bakugou's own hand wraps around your wrist firmly, practically slapping it away from his cock. you look up at him with filmy eyes, looking for an explanation within his own. "gotta focus on you," he mumbles under his breath, his hands coming down to your hips and dragging you down to him.

bakugou finally begins to undo his belt, the metal buckle causing your ears to tingle. he pushes down his pants to his lower thighs, for a second he glances up at you, to which you can see a small glimpse of the red tint that covers the apples of his cheeks and the way he stares intently at your features, most likely waiting to see your reaction.

he slides his dark red boxers down to the middle of his thighs, just enough to free his cock of his uncomfortable confines. and, just wow, maybe it's because you're quite literally drugged with a sex drug, or maybe he's just that perfect—but just the sight of his cock has your pathetic pussy walls clenching and throbbing around nothing.

your mouth salivates at the mere thought of his cock, and just now seeing it—god you just want him to fuck you already. without a thought, your hand reaches once more for him, only for bakugou to pin your wrist down to the side of your body, his own climbing on top of the bed. your legs come to rest on each sides of his hips, his thighs underneath yours while he sits on his knees.

it seems you're not the only one so horny, afterall, as bakugou wrapped his hand around cock, his hips inching closer to yours, his body jolted, eyes widening. his sudden movement has your heart dropping in your stomach, a cold sweat breaking out on your body. "w-what? what is it?" you stutter out, your hand crossing defensively over your clothed chest.

bakugou's cheeks seem to bloom more a shade of red as he leans back, searching for something in his pocket. "hah.. i almost forgot the condom.." he says, taking out the unmistaken small square packet out of his pocket.

you chuckle lightly at the mistake, feeling embarrassment for yourself as well. to think that you two were so wrapped up in the heat of the moment that you almost forgot the condom gives such a strange feeling in your stomach.

finally, bakugou puts the condom on, a bit shaky with embarrassment as he slides it on. all prepared, he looks up at you—possibly the calmest you've ever seen him, but there's a hint of seriousness and maybe even care with the way his eyebrows are furrowed lightly or how his eyes never leave your face.

"ready?" he asks cautiously, his hand gripped onto the underside of your thigh with the other resting on the side of your lower stomach. with your nod of approval, bakugou meets his thighs to your ass, his cock tip pressing lightly against your virgin hole.

before bakugou could go any further, your soft sobs stop him. his head immediately snaps up to yours, his eyes wide with shock. your eyes are once again wet with tears, eyebrows arched and lips frowning.

"i know this is not very convenient, y/n, but if we don't do this, you'll die-", he tries to say before he's interrupted by your sobs and hiccups. through fat tears and incoherent sentences, you finally manage to say something clear.

"it's not that." you practically hiss, surprising the blonde. "..then what is it?" he urges, a confused expression forming on his face. with a loud sigh, you groan loudly with anger and sadness, practically throwing your hands to your face as you try to wipe away your never-ending tears.

"i d-didn't want it to be like t-this!" you sob loudly, your shoulders jumping with every hiccup. before bakugou could press any further, the years of untold suffering and thoughts just came rushing to you, spilling out of your mouth like vomit. "i-i didn't w-want it to be l-like this! to happen like this!"

"oh my g-god! bakugou i've been in love with you since i've m-met you—and it–it hurts—for it to happen this way—you're only doing this just b-because you f-feel obligated to do i-it—not because you l-love me—" you mumble out, hands covering your eyes to avoid seeing his reaction.

"for it to ha-happen this way—it's like a whole prank..! like a fucking—slap in the face!" you say, practically yelling the last part as your hands fly down to the bed with frustration, finally meeting bakugou's gaze. your sobs quiet down, stomach churning at the realization of the word vomit you just had.

you thought he would be weirded out, maybe even make fun of you for it. but instead, bakugou is now looking at you with an unfamiliar gaze, full of something that seems to just be more than politeness and friendly care. sure, he's not smiling, but the way his red eyes are half-lidded, pupils dilated so big they might as well just be black, his eyebrows no longer furrowed but instead arched upwards with what seems to be surprise.

before you could say anything else, waves of sharp pain are shot up your spine as bakugou unexpectedly pushes in the tip of his cock, his arms now finding purchase by wrapping around your waist, lowering himself closer to you.

his lips press yours, slow and steady as he inches his fat cock into you. he pulls away from your lips with a grunt, his eyebrows arched downwards as he tries to set aside the way your cunt feels so heavenly wrapped around the end of his cock.

"i'm sorry for how i've been treating you." he says lowly, his teeth nipping at the pristine skin of your collarbone. "i just didn't know how to tell you—didn't think you felt the s-same," he breathes out, stuttering the last word when your walls clench around his cock. bakugou curses under his breath, trying to ground himself by pawing at your clothed breasts, sliding his hands under your tank to feel the bare skin.

bakugou's words has fresh tears forming once again at your water line. "the same..?" you think out loud, a hiccup escaping your throat at the realization.

"f-fuck, y/n—," he chokes out, his balls becoming flush with the curve of your ass. "bakugou.. the same?" you urge on, a small gasp leaving your lips when his cock tip glazes against your sweet spot. it takes bakugou to find the strength to answer, but he does with a groan, rising his upper body to have a better look at the sight of you.

"..yes the same you dummy." he finally confirms, his eyes unable to lock with yours, instead choosing to glue themselves to the sight of your tight pussy swallowing his cock. without wasting another second, your hands fly to his nape, pulling him back down to kiss him roughly. the two of you moan into the kiss, your hands desperately exploring the skin of his back while his continue to grope and massage your breasts.

"hah—i just couldn't allow it.. i didn't want the others to have you.." he groans out, his hips speeding up against yours. his teeth bite at your breasts possessively, leaving dark red marks over the unmarked flesh. his possessiveness sends a shiver up your spine, making you impossibly more hornier than you thought possible.

"baku—katsuki," you mewl out, your fingernails digging trails of red into the skin of his back. his head nods silently at your use of his first name, his ears tingling intensely.

his head tilts up to face yours, unprepared for what you were about to say. "please fuck me. i need you."

with a few words of heavy profanity, all previously known touches of gentleness are thrown out the window and bakugou is throwing your leg over shoulder and practically folding you in half. bakugou is quick to cover your mouth with his palm, if not your screams of pleasure would be heard by all the other people in these dorms—and he's not quite on board with any nobodies hearing your pretty moans.

bakugou practically jackhammers his hips into yours, his cock tip bullying your cervix. your eyes roll to the back of your head at the foreign feeling of your cervix being fucked, of your cunt being mercilessly destroyed by a fat cock. your hand flies up to the head board, desperately attempting to find purchase on anything to keep you grounded.

his cock grazing your sweet spot has you screaming once more into his palm, creaming around him for the first time that night. "f-fuck—" bakugou curses loudly, his teeth drawing blood on his lower lip in an attempt to hide own moans.

your cunt walls have a vice grip on his cock, practical almost leaving him unable to move as you cum around him. still, bakugou works his hips in and out, doing everything in his power to prevent himself from cumming just yet.

in an last ditch effort to do so, bakugou lifts his palm up from your mouth, flipping your body so you lay onto your stomach. he's quick to shove his cock back into your overstimulated cunt, rutting into you like a dog in heat. bakugou doesn't find it within himself to care when you're moaning so loud that the first floor can probably hear you, neither does he care that he's fucking you so hard that the bed frame begins to slam against the wall.

all he cares about is destroying your cunt, destroying you, something he's been wanting to do since he's met you. "fuck, fuck, fuck, y/n you feel so fuckin' good—i'm gonna cum," he babbles, his cock growing hard at the sight of your fat ass bouncing with every impact of his thrusts.

you're no better off than him, moaning his name desperately like a mantra. bakugou finally comes with a sharp and deep thrust, pushing his cock so deep it has the tip flush with your bruised cervix. he groans incoherent words, most likely profanities, as he cums into the condom, his hands gripping on the swell of your hips as he tries to ground himself.

you cum just at the unmistaken warmth that pools inside of you, tongue lolling out of your mouth pathetically. your body twitches underneath his weight, hands weakly grabbing onto his biceps. "katssshuki.." you mewl out, stars practically twinkling in your eyes.

bakugou pulls out of you with a sharp inhale, taking off the filled condom. his cock twitches when you stop him just as he's about to throw away, taking the cum-filled latex from his hand and holding it over your mouth, allowing the cum to drip onto your tongue and into your throat.

he watches you with wide eyes as you practically suck the cum out of the condom before throwing it into the trash bin on the side of your bed. you look at him with a grin, licking your lips generously before giggling.

bakugou's face twitches uncontrollably, any remains of the composure and the obvious "better safe than sorry", he has left is discarded before he practically pounces on you like a wild beast.

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

bakugou is jolted awake, his eyes darting to the door of your room. theres a couple of knocks, his eyes look for your clock, '5:04 AM'.

he shuts his eyes, fully okay with ignoring the late visitor before theres more knocks. bakugou, begrudgingly, gets up, only because he doesn't want you to wake up.

he wraps his lower body in a spare blanket, taking a few seconds to rub awaken more before he's inching the door open, just barely enough to see who the visitor is. though, his shoulders relax when he sees it's just mr. aizawa at the door, most likely checking up on your state.

mr. aizawa blinks unexpectedly at bakugou, surely not expecting him to answer the door. his expression softens at the realization, being quick to offer an explanation. "i was just coming here to see if y/l/n was alright.. but i see it's under control, right?"

aizawa punctuates the last word of his sentence with the tilt of his head, his eyes pointing out bakugou's half-naked body. bakugou in response sheepishly shrugs, muttering out a groggy 'yeah' before closing the door.

he stands at the closed door for a second, rubbing his eyes tiredly before turning around to go back to bed, your bed more specifically. he stops in his tracks for a moment before continuing, seeing that you're now sitting up and staring at him.

"katsuki.." you breathe out tiredly, practically purring when you feel his hand settle onto your hip, bringing you back down onto the bed with him.

the two of you share a chaste kiss, departing only to get a short breathe in before you're pushing your body against his, deepening the kiss once more for the nth time that night.

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[flameeagleheart75]

So I first listened to Jesus Christ Superstar as part of my ALW listen through a few years ago and enjoyed it fine but over the last little while I've been listening to it religiously (no pun intended) and oh my god I think it's jumped up my list to being one of my favourite musicals ever.

If you're from a Christian background (Roman Catholic for me, hi) then no doubt you can recite the stages of the cross in your sleep but somehow the interpretation of Jesus's final days as a bombastic, heartbreaking and utterly camp musical is the only one that's truly resonated with me.

Here's my ramblings in no particular order.

(I like a lot of the versions so I'll be using whatever GIFs I can find)

Jesus

Give this man a hug, please.

There's often a lot of tie-pulling over whether humanising Jesus is blasphemous or not but that's a theological debate for another time.

On a personal level?

I adore how JCS portrays how fatigued Jesus is. He knows his ultimate fate and that he can't change it but that doesn't mean that every step towards it is agony. You feel his relief when Mary Magdalene encourages him to just relax and just wants him to take care of himself for once; likewise you feel how overwhelmed he is when he's swarmed in the temple by or his frustration at his disciples not being able to grasp the weight of his words. And after he's screamed at Judas to leave him at the Last Supper and is alone at Gethsemane begging God to just tell him why he has to die after all he's already done, you realise that at the end of the day it's just as Judas says "He's a man, he's just a man, like anyone I know."

Mary Magdalene

While the musical goes with the common pop culture depiction of portraying Mary as a sex worker instead of just another one of the apostles, the effect it has is wonderful. Mary's confused about her feelings but regardless, she comforts Jesus and tries to make him feel at ease. While Judas is in knots about whether Jesus associating with a prostitute contradicts his teachings and that expensive ointment is being wasted, all Mary wants is for the person she cares for to get a good night's sleep.

And I see you "I don't know how to love him" reprise.

Mary is a needed parallel to Judas and serves as one of two people who love (romantically or platonically) Jesus as the man he is.

Speaking of whom-

Judas

Oh my dear, dear Iscariot.

Judas's story raises one of JCS's most poignant questions of "If Jesus had to die, then were Judas's actions truly evil or was he just fulfilling a role in the divine plan?"

From the moment "Heaven on their minds" sounds to the Gospel melodies of "Superstar" you are along for the ride. His disillusionment with Jesus comes from a deep love mixed with the fear for both their people and that the 12 chosen are forgetting their original beliefs. Yet, along the way we see him fighting against his role. In 'Damned For All Time/Blood Money', he struggles both physically and mentally with his conscience. During 'The Last Supper', he threatens to just stay and not carry out the betrayal and it's only when Jesus screams at him to leave that he finally goes.

And don't get me started on the arrest in the garden of Gethsemane. Ouch, my heart.

Both of them are ultimately doomed but while Jesus is aware of it and accepts his fate (albeit in a defeated way), Judas only comes to realise his place as a pawn when it comes to the time of his death.

And he is broken. He's disgusted.

What on earth was it all for? Why did God have to choose him of all people?

This is a story of love and grief and the inevitability of life and death but you're along for every step, knowing that you, like the characters are unable to change anything. But regardless, you're invested every step of the way and you hope that maybe things, just once, could be different. But it can't, you know it can't.

Finally the music is absolutely wonderful and I for one would like a return to allowing anachronisms if it's just for fun. (Tim Rice's lyrics, mwah). They can ride on bikes and tanks if they want to.

(Also the 12 getting drunk at the dinner while Judas and Jesus are singing their hearts out at each other makes me laugh.)

Thanks for listening to a bored Bi talk about one of her favourite things. Have a good night.

[thechaoticfanartist]

The Roof

Taking place during Chapter 35 of The Clone Wars Gets A New Victim we see Grim after she runs from Anakin and before Anakin joins her on the roof.

Warning: Suicidal thoughts, (Almost) attempted suicide

Note: I've been debating about posting this for a couple of months due to the above warnings. It's only (heavily) implied in the original chapter but this fic really goes into Grim's headspace in the moment. I don't recommend reading this if you're not in a good mental place.

It was a good thing Anakin hadn’t followed the padawan, if he had, he would have seen her crying.

  She ran outside the opera hall, past the extravagant guests in their fancy outfits flaunting their riches. She didn’t care for them, and they did not care for her. Tomorrow when she was dead, they would celebrate. For them the war would be over, and they would care naught for all the lives that had been lost. Their hardships would be over - but for any other citizen, for any survivors of the coming purge, a new wave of problems would surge. 

 Grim found the speeder she had borrowed from the Temple, parked not too far from the place where she had spied and heard what she had gone to hear - The result to her was clear, she had lost.

  Light and hope were gone. The darkness won. 

 Grim got into the speeder and made her way back to her home. To the Jedi Temple. Her vision was blurred by her tears. Her mind clouded by her grief. Everything was over. 

 Tomorrow she would die. 

 And when she reached the Temple, a horrible thought arose. 

 So why did it matter, if she was still alive?

 So when she had reached the Temple, she did not go to her room. To sleep off this grief, and prepare for the following day. Which would be the final day of its kind, because it would be the last with this home of light.

  She ran to the rooftop. Tears flowing freely, as she ran to the edge and just screamed. 

 Grim screamed into the endless night. 

 She had planned to jump off the roof. To allow gravity to carry her to her doom. No Sith involved, not her brothers, not her brother. She would never have to know the pain of hearing the words be uttered, the words that would write her fate so certainly. Even though it was plainly written now. 

 No matter what - she thought - she would die. 

 So it could be now, never knowing that pain for her own personal experience. Never falling to the hands of the Sith and becoming another victim in his cruel game. 

 Or it could be tomorrow. Either by the plasma bullets of the men she saw as her brothers. Or by the blade of the ghost who she now knew was dead beyond a doubt. 

 She could die from betrayal, or end it now. 

 Yet, she couldn’t.

  She couldn’t step off the roof. The light radiating from her home kept her there. So she just fell to her knees. Sobbing until her chest hurt. Sobbing until she couldn’t sob anymore. Allowing these three brutal years of unshed grief to pour from her. Sobbing until there would be no more grief left to spare for the next day. When she knew, they would lose everything.

 All Grim could do was mourn.

  Because, although still here. Still right there. She could feel it now. She could sense all of the life that filled this home of light. 

 Even still, she knew. She knew it would all be gone tomorrow. So she mourned for those who still lived today. 

 Grim also knew, so very clear that she would soon join them. She would join them in their deaths. Just as she had joined their lives. She knew - she was convinced - that she wouldn’t survive. 

 It was in this moment, as Grim relaxed herself, and hung her legs over the roof, sitting back as she watched the stars. It was in this moment, the Padawan realized something else.

  She didn’t want to die. She just didn’t want to feel this pain. This grief that had consumed her heart slowly throughout the three years she had been fighting. All of that fighting that had been nothing. 

 She looked up at the stars. She never believed in fate, but she couldn’t help but try to find it written in the sky. As if the stars would tell her, her story. As if the stars themselves could save her from this tragedy she knew awaited her. 

 The tragedy that had begun all those years ago, the one Grim had walked into. Despite everything she knew. 

 She could blame it on her awestruck youth. She could blame the fact that she had been wrapped up into something so beautiful that she never wanted to leave. She could blame it on her childish self that only saw a galaxy that she had always adored. She could blame it on every one of those early and beautiful moments. 

 But that would be a lie. She could only blame herself as of now. 

 Because she had always had a choice in this story. She knew that. 

 She always chose to stay. Even after she had been through so much of the pain that the galaxy had to offer.

 Grim always had the option to walk away. She just always made the choice to stay.

 So that was all Grim could do now. She could stay. 

 There was no walking away at this point, it was far too late. The only escape, she had just denied. Even though she felt as if she wouldn’t survive. 

 Grim had to see her own story - her own tragedy - through until the end. 

 She tried to find that ending in the stars. But saw nothing. 

 All she knew was this: 

 Tragedy awaited. That was the ending. It was something she had known the moment this story began. This was the ending. This was the tragedy. This was her destiny.

 Even knowing, she had made the choice. She didn’t regret those choices either.

 She could’ve. Maybe to anyone else, she should’ve, but she didn’t. Because even through all of the pain she had gone through, even still with the ending tomorrow she had made memories that she would forever cherish.

 Even if forever only lasted until tomorrow. 

 Grim sat on the roof of the Jedi Temple, and watched the stars in the sky, sparkling with her tears. From the grief of all these years.

Tag List (let me know if you want to be added or removed) : @padme--amygdala @soclonely @mrfandomwars @jgvfhl @starlonkedd @milfspectre1 @togrutanduin @jedi-valjean @one-real-imonkey @traygaming @roseofalderaan @keoxus  @tranakin-thighhighwalker @veiled-in-stars @sentineljedi @spicysucculentz @purgetrooperfox @amelia-song-pond @kohtoyah @saturnsokas @thejediprincessqueenofnaboo

[levieske]

𝟐.𝟏 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

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Cora woke up feeling bittersweet. She rolled on her bed, trying to avoid the light that escaped into her room. After some grumping, she finally got up, closing the curtains midway through. The sun had woken her up earlier than she expected, but alas she suspected she wouldn’t be able to get much more sleep anyway.

Sneaking in the night before, Cora stumbled around until she changed her bloody clothes to her favorite graphic tee. She hid under the covers, staring at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. The events replayed in her head, the guilt eating her out for not being honest with Mikasa.

They barely exchanged any words after leaving the vault, Mikasa was probably too shocked to bring up what had happened. Her best friend would be either terrified of Cora or thinking she was playing with her. Cora wasn’t too fond of any of the options, but she hoped Mikasa would just get angry at her for “joking” like that.

Realistically speaking, there wasn’t exactly a way of explaining what she did without digging her own grave deeper. Cora didn’t fully understand it herself.

The girl massaged her temples. It wasn’t humanly possible for her to cover up everything. She shouldn’t have gotten Mikasa into this to begin with. She would have to deal with her later, as there were unfinished business with Mikasa’s vampire relative still, who was conveniently locked up in a fucking basement waiting for her.

Sounds like the perfect weekend. It checks all the boxes: sneak out with your best friend, visit a cemetery at night, trespass an old tomb and awaken an immortal being with unknown intentions.

Cora chuckled at her thoughts and finally decided to get out of her room to have a shower. Refreshed and much less bloody, she got back to her bedroom and put on a pair of wide jeans and a short-sleeved top. As she was applying mascara to her lashes, her phone vibrated on her pocket.

Marco

Heyy

When do I pick you up??

She completely forgot. Marco had plans with her that afternoon, they were going to try a new dinner near her house. Cora exhaled and threw herself on her bed, debating on her answer. It wasn’t like she could just cancel him; it was an opportunity she had been dying to get after all.

Cora mentally insulted the blood-thirsty man waiting for her.

Cora

Hi

At 7:30?

Marco

Perfect

She put her phone down. The blonde would have to be quick with Levi if she wanted her date to go right. But she was completely lost as to where she was going to find the blood to give him.

No, offering herself wasn’t on the table. She might be stupid for helping him, but not suicidal. Also, not homicidal, she wasn’t going to give him a random civilian to devour.

Cora laid on her bed, as she thought about it over and over again. She didn’t want to cause any harm because of her stupid decision making. There was still an option, one that wouldn’t be as bad as completely offering herself.

She inspected the cut on her wrist. It wasn’t deep, barely a scratch really, but it drew a little blood. If she were careful, she might be able to get more, just enough without bleeding to death and all. Cora exhaled and got her wet hair out of her face. She could easily off herself by mistake.

But it had to be done. Cora had made a promise and she didn’t want to get any other person involved into this mess. It was her mess, so she dealt with it.

The first step was taking a knife and a bottle from her kitchen. It was a miracle her parents had decided to go on their weekly walk earlier that morning, but she didn’t plan on questioning it. Cora then brought a disinfectant ointment and a bandage to her bedroom. She created some space on her desk for everything she needed, putting away her stuff and grabbing the journal. She safely stored it inside her bag. She had many questions for the vampire, but so would he.

She hoped he wouldn’t be too angry about having read his journal.

Cora swallowed when she had the knife in hand. She positioned it near her wrist, horizontally, as she moved her arms over the bottle. Applying a little pressure, she was able to make a cut. The girl bit her lip; it did hurt. But she endured it. Cora was able to fill a third of the bottle, more or less. It wasn’t much, but she was feeling dizzy and she didn’t want to risk it.

She cleaned and disinfected her wound, covering it with the bandages she had brought. Whatever she was planning on wearing that evening, it better hide the bandages. She didn’t want to worry Marco, or her parents for that matter.

Cora put back the disinfectant and washed the knife. She leaned over the sink in the kitchen, breathing heavily. Taking her hair out of the way, splashed some water on her face.

“Okay, it’s done.”

It was time.

She put on a sweater and grabbed her bag, reminiscing of the day she first saw what Levi looked like.

[kaseyskat]

MIGHT be cancelled for saying this but ive been thinking so hard about how little s1 and the beginning of s2 focuses on marcy. like, obviously we know that was intentional on matt’s part, he wanted her to be the focus of the latter half of s2, and i get that! but marcy being an afterthought... it hurts so much, watching the way anne defends sasha to the plantars immediately and clearly thinks so highly of her, only to turn around and have nothing to say about marcy except that she’s smart but clumsy. 

a big theme of the show is how all three of the girls are messed up in their own ways, and honestly to say that marcy is a bad friend towards anne without acknowledging that anne was also bad towards marcy is... well. it rubs me a bit the wrong way, because this is a show about ALL of them. anne’s the main character so of course it portrays her in the most sympathetic light, but she also landed in the safest(emotionally speaking) environment and had the catalyst for the most change. she’s grown as a person, and we got to watch her morph from the selfish pushover she was in the beginning to who she is now... but we don’t see that with marcy and sasha. it makes sense that in our eyes, anne hasn’t done anything wrong, because we get to see her change and become better. 

what do we know about marcy? we know that on anne’s birthday, instead of getting out of class and hanging with the girls, she’s alone in the library, studying for a test she won’t need to take for another three years. we know that she does all the work on group projects, and probably certain homework assignments as well. we know(thanks to the interview with matt) that sasha doesn’t have to try to manipulate her, because marcy is so desperate to be useful she’ll go along with just about anything she says. and we know that when she’s acting strange from the first temple onwards, nobody else notices. why would they? marcy’s always been just... marcy. 

and we never see what she wants either, not until true colors. she never once puts herself first when it comes to her friends, she’s always catering to THEM. when the three are together again, she doesn’t offer any of her own opinions or suggestions, and instead just bounces the ideas the other two have off of each other, and is there to mediate when things go wrong. this isn’t much of an indication of how things were back home, since anne was more of a pushover then, but it’s still telling how marcy is NOT the one acting strange in the situation. 

this has been very long and rambly but the gist of it is this; i don’t think anne is entirely blameless in the friendship, and i don’t think marcy deserves to be completely villainized for the one selfish choice she’s made in a very long time, especially when she was clearly regretting it and already growing from it and prepared to do anything to make things right again. 

[ldss-interactive]

At Alter’s End: A CYOA Novel

Overview:

Trentworth, Maine. A town of ten thousand southeast of Ellsworth and North of Bayside. Its only bragging point since its conception in 1867 was being a shoreline city and cheaper than any of the other big tourist towns. Nothing ever happened here, besides the occasional drowning or fishing trip accident, until the killings started. They lasted five years in total and 48 people were lost to the killer’s sick desires. Robert Hall terrorized this small town, slipping under the radar by focusing on those considered “undesirable”; sex workers, orphans, drug addicts, and the like. Now ten years later, ten years after the killer has been put behind bars, murders have begun again. A copycat killer has come to Trentworth. And they seem to be targeting the ones left behind, still trying to pick up the shattered pieces of their lives…

You take the role of a highschool senior; your parents having died in a home fire shortly before the killer was put behind bars and now under the care of your workaholic aunt. Make allies of your classmates or attempt to go it alone, clear your parents’ name from their believed involvement with the killer or fight to put the past behind you, deal with the skeletons in your closet and mind or bury them deeper... Oh, and make sure your history project is turned in on time. With two young siblings depending on you and a whole host of problems a highschool student should never have to deal with, can you survive this nightmare made real?

Trigger Warnings: This game will go into very heavy topics including the following; murder, death, various mental health issues (such as PTSD, depression, and anxiety), abandonment, gambling, various types of drug addiction, self harm mentions (not happening to the MC or shown in graphic detail), suicide, sex work, child abuse (mental, emotional, and physical), and dangerous situations. This is a murder mystery/thriller, it is NOT intended for audiences below 18.

Hello! Thank you for showing interest in At Alter’s End. This is a Choose Your Own Adventure style novel in the Thriller and Murder Mystery genres. It would also fit nicely in the Drama genre as well, but Drama is not the focus. This will be a rather lengthy project, with fifteen chapters plus a prologue and epilogue planned.

You take on the role of a senior at Trentworth High. Join an after-school activity, take care of your younger siblings, prepare for finals, get a part time job, find a date to homecoming, and survive your worst nightmare come to life. The copycat killer is targeting the students of your school and no one is safe. With the police dragging their feet, no help coming any time soon from any higher up law enforcement, and the locals refusing to acknowledge the possibility of a copycat killer, it’s up to you and your classmates to find the person responsible...before it’s too late.

- You can play as female, male, nonbinary, or trans!

- You can be straight, gay, or bisexual!

- A highly customizable MC including hair color, eye color, skin color, hair length, height, and personality and interests!

- The ability to choose which mental illness the MC suffers from due to the trauma of their past from the following:

Anxiety, Depression, or PTSD.

- The MC is deaf in their right ear ear due to the way in which their parents died; this is not something that can be changed.

- Choose from 7 different official after-school activities! Trentworth Volunteers, Up and Coming Artists, National Debate Society, National Honors Society, Co-Ed Varsity Basketball, Creative Writing, and Trentworth Gardeners!

- Bond with your classmates, explore your town, and help raise your younger siblings!

- Rescue your parents’ bakery from corporate clutches or let it go!

- Find the killer, stop the murders, and put a stop to the rumors that have plagued your every step for 10 years!

Vanya: Oldest adoptive twin sibling to MC’s adoptive siblings, 6 years younger than MC. Strong-headed, intelligent, and always getting into trouble. She looks after her brother and MC in the ways she can.

Ajay: Youngest adoptive twin sibling to MC’s adoptive sibling, 6 years younger than MC. Nearly completely blind since birth, he enjoys painting and other artistic endeavors. Obedient yet opinionated.

Aunt Emma: The workaholic aunt that takes custody of MC and their younger siblings after the death of their parents. Well meaning but absent most of the time on business trips or at the office.

Kwan Hall: An adoptive relative to Robert Hall; aloof, intelligent, and completely ostracized by Trentworth as a whole. When the killings start again the town’s attention is immediately turned on Kwan. He’s the first to begin investigating the killings when the police prove their incompetence. He is of Korean descent, standing at 5’6” with dark hair and dark eyes. His most notable feature is the long scar that stretches from his forehead’s hairline, down his left temple, and ends just below his jawline and the constant disinterest on his face. He is asexual in that he doesn’t experience sexual attraction at all. He is also bisexual.

Alessia D’Agostina: Trentworth High’s school president. She’s clawed her way tooth and nail up to earn the respect of both the school faculty and her fellow classmates; she’s strong-willed, dependable, and always looks at things through a logical lens. When she sees her classmates dying, she takes it upon herself to try and stop this once and for all. With dark skin, deep brown eyes, long braided hair, and standing at 5’8” her confidence and sense of self always make sure she stands out from the crowd. Alessia is bisexual.

Georgiy Kuzmin: Twin brother to Anastasiya Kuzmin; he is, in the kindest way possible, not the brightest bulb in the box. Yet he always means well and is more than willing to offer a helping hand. As the co-captain of the basketball team, captain of the baseball team, and the star of the swim team, Georgiy is one of the most popular and well beloved students at Trentworth High. When he realizes his friends are in danger, he willingly throws himself into the investigation to do all he can to help. With fair skin, dirty blond hair, bubbly green eyes, and standing at 6’1” he cuts an approachable figure to anyone who knows him. Georgiy is gay.

Anastasiya Kuzmin: Twin sister to Georgiy Kuzmin: she and her brother are alike in so many ways apart from just appearance. Anastasiya, who goes by Ana more often than not, is head of the Co-Ed Varsity Basketball team, the Girls’ softball team, and the Tennis team. Just as popular and loved as her brother, Ana may not be the smartest but she makes up for it with passion and dedication. Like her brother, she has fairer skin, dirty blond hair, and bright green eyes. Also like her brother, she felt she couldn’t just sit around while her friends were put in danger and agreed to join the investigation. Ana is gay and demiromantic, meaning she only gains feelings for someone after having a strong relationship with them.

Lillian Triano: A quiet, withdrawn girl who mainly keeps to herself. Due to the fact that Trentworth High demands for every senior to be apart of an elective, she is mainly seen in afterschool reading club run by Ms. Habeeb. She’s MC’s closest friend, having been one of the only people who didn’t believe the rumors that MC’s parents were assisting Robert Hall in his murders. She has an olive complexion, brown eyes, a heavy dose of freckles, and stands at 5’1”. Lillian is gay.

Jasmine Abernathy: Jasmine is Trentworth High’s self proclaimed “Best news source!” After the school newspaper was disbanded, Jasmine took it upon herself to keep freedom of the press alive. She’s fierce in her pursuit of the truth and never one to back down from a fight, though her rash attitude can get her into some sticky situations on occasion. With vibrant red hair, dark brown eyes, and standing at 5’3” she puts the term “fire” in Fire Signs. (She’s an Aries in astrology!) When the copycat killings began, it was no surprise when she took the case head on. Jasmine is bisexual.

Asa San Nicholas: Asa is the oldest of a set of triplets; they’re the type to march to the beat of their own drum, often not listening to what anyone has to say about themselves or their interests. Asa is a firm believer in the paranormal and it isn’t uncommon to find them indulging in their interest in various ways. “The spirits are distrubed. These deaths aren’t meant to happen.” Asa’s reason for getting involved seems to tie directly back to their “connection” with the spirits of the town. Asa has black hair, most often tied in a ponytail, hazel eyes, and an olive skin tone. At 6’4” they tower over most everyone...something they seem to enjoy a great deal. Asa doesn’t see gender and is interested in people regardless of how they present.

Leo San Nicholas: The middle of the triplets. They are genderfluid, okay with any pronouns. Leo is, for lack of a better word, eccentric. A bit of an adrenaline junkie, you can often find them cliff diving or giving their siblings heart attacks by playing russian roulette with a chocolate gun. To them, it isn’t fun if there isn’t a little danger involved; naturally, an investigation into a serial killer scratches that itch quite nicely. Their black hair is clipped short, multiple piercings visible on each ear, and their heterochromatic hazel and green eyes are often stated to stare through a person. Although Leo is genderfluid, they are only interested in people who present as female.

The demo is upcoming! When it is available I will make a post announcing it! I will also update this post with the link! This game is written in choicescript; the demo will be published on Dashingdon and the final game will be published for free on itch.io. I am open for questions regarding this game/novel and once the demo is published I will also be publishing a link to my Ko-fi! Until then, please don’t hesitate to ask if you have any questions!

[adelaidedrubman]

look at that, i’m finally posting fic that isn’t just a joke. trying to get back in my groove with a really old kinktober prompt from this list i didn’t get done in time. posting now in the spirit of forcing myself to return to my “do what the fuck you want” era but also genuinely nervous because it’s been so long since i’ve posted anything semi serious let alone smut so queuing for 5 AM on a monday with no tags and hoping nobody actually sees it <3 if you do, keep scrolling

wordcount: 7k

pairing: john x jestiny | pre-reaping au: part iii | part i | part ii | (no need to actually read, pure smut)

warnings: NSFW!!!!!!! oral sex. throat fucking. rimming. inadequate discussion prior to any of these things. all of the aforementioned occurring on a church altar. arguably semi public? (debate of the hour, actually). proceed responsibly.

John knew, of course, that Deputy Rook would be the officer to respond.

For one, because he knew she was on duty, both from the schedule Nancy dutifully provided him at the beginning of every shift and from his own… information collection and personal intervention, which he knew had ultimately resulted in her schedule being shifted so that she was on duty for most of the weekend, only being granted a brief reprieve on Friday evenings (the time she’d given him the most trouble) before ultimately having to report back bright and early on Saturday morning, granted just enough time to sleep before doing the same song and dance on Sunday, finally allowed a “weekend” off on Monday and Tuesday, and…

Well, it’s not that he would ever plan his own life around her schedule, but he was certainly aware of it, as much as he was aware of every other mundane ongoing in the county.

And yes, perhaps even after he knew the necessary evidence should already in place he’d waited (less than twenty four hours) to officially “discover” the crime he was requesting an officer respond to. Not to plan things according to her schedule, of course, but…

But he was well aware that he was finally calling it in when she was the only officer on street duty, with less than an hour left on her shift. And he hoped that meant she’d be eager to finish up business and leave, and be less likely to give him grief about reporting the matter at all. That’s the only reason he stalled on reporting, truly.

He reassured himself of as much as his heart jumped in his chest at the first sound of tires crunching against the gravel road, causing him to leap up from the pew and scurry towards the window to ensure it was in fact a Hope County Police Department cruiser finally popping up over the horizon.

He studied the faint outline of his reflection in the window for a moment as he mentally rehearsed the interaction he’d accounted for (not planned), fluffing his beard and slicking back his hair before making his way to the door, heart giving another offbeat flutter as he confirmed the flash of copper hair visible from the driver’s seat.

“Deputy,” he greeted with a smile as she finally exited the car, leaning casually in the doorway. Her presence did lend the air a certain electric quality. Sure, they’d been together before, and alone. But never in the broad daylight, and so far from any other civilization, removed as Eden’s Convent was from the main roadways. “I’m relieved to see you’re finally here.”

She merely rubbed fingers against obviously tired eyelids, trying to massage away bags before looking up at him with bloodshot eyes. “You wanted something?”

“To report a crime,” he said matter-of-factly.

“You couldn’t have done that at the station like last week?”

“It’s an urgent crime this time,” he lamented, stepping back into the vestibule of the church and waving for her to follow. “And there might be fresh evidence to investigate.”

She let out a long, groaning exhale, massaging her temples for a beat more before strolling up the steps to meet him. “What’s the crime?”

“Trespass.”

“You’re going with trespass again?”

“I’m reporting,” he spat out, sharp and firm, “A trespass, yes. Or anything else you see fit to charge it as.”

“Great,” she said with a roll of her eyes, before letting them fall along the doorway he stood in. “So did they break in here?”

“I wouldn’t know.”

“You wouldn’t know?”

“I wasn’t there.”

“Of course not.”

“And I haven’t found any evidence of use of force at this door, although we do keep it unlocked, so —”

“So there by definition couldn’t have been, so we should move on to whatever the fuck it is you do want to show me.”

He huffed, giving her an indignant look before waving her on through the greeting room into the main building. “But I noticed footprints,” he said, pointing down to the imprints left in flakes of sawdust atop the red carpeting of the aisle, as he stepped just to the side of it. “And that made me think something was off.”

“Uh huh,” she grunted. “And you caught someone breaking in when, exactly —?”

“I didn’t,” he waved away, continuing on, leading her towards the projector broadcasting onto screens hanging on either side of the main stage. “Until I checked our security camera footage the next day.”

“Okay.”

“And you won’t believe what I saw.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“You will,” he agreed with an emphatic nod. “This video was taken at 1:42 AM last night,” he explained, before pressing play.

He looked over his shoulder to confirm her eyes were adequately trained on the screen as she followed him up towards the stage of the church, gaze bouncing between her and the image of three shadowy figures stepping into the hallway he played on screen for her.

“There,” he exclaimed, finally pressing his thumb down on the power off button. “You see?”

“Seems like some folks came into your church late last night,” she scoffed.

“Right,” he nodded again. “And of course I don’t yet have enough evidence to prove it without further investigation, but I highly suspect it was one of the hooligans King’s Hot Springs Hotel just next door is constantly renting rooms to, which the owner would be responsible for under dram shop provisions, which —”

She cut him off with a wave of her hand “So what do you want me to put in the police report, exactly?”

“Well,” he began, enunciating pointedly, “I’m hoping everything I’ve reported.”

“Right,” she agreed, flopping down her hand again. “I can jot down a note somewhere John Seed thinks someone came into his church, but what do you want me to actually report?”

“A trespass,” he hissed back, impatiently.

“I mean,” she deadpanned, eyes still half lidded. “You haven’t shown me anything to report as a trespass, or any other crime, so far.”

“Haven’t shown you —?” he began in disbelief. “Haven’t shown you anything?! Deputy, I am currently showing you —”

“You’re showing me a fuckin’ church, John,” she spat out with a sneer. “If you could show me any evidence of property damage, that’d be one thing, but even if everything you were telling me was true, you cannot fuckin’ trespass upon a goddamn church.”

“I’m sorry,” he replied, still slow and measured and ringing with politeness as he paused with thoughtful calm to accentuate the contrast with her belligerent rudeness. He shifted his arms back to press palms against the raised stage of the altar behind him, lifting himself to sit casually at its ledge, smiling to himself as she darted eyes to the side to quickly conceal the way they’d automatically settled at his lap as he propped himself up. “Is your contention that we should be denied equal protection under the law simply because we’re a place of worship? You’re refusing to investigate simply because we’re a church?”

“My contention,” she hissed, hooking thumbs into her belt loops and jutting her chin upward in a pitiful attempt to appear suddenly energized and intimidating as she stepped forward and glared up at him, “is that churches are by definition not covered by the criminal trespass statute.”

He bent at the waist to lean down and meet her challenging glare, flaunting his high ground. “It would be unconstitutional to exclude churches from the protections of the trespass statute. The Free Exercise clause of the —”

“Oh, Jesus fucking Christ —”

“— of the First Amendment explicitly prohibits excluding from a publicly available protection —”

“— excluded from fuck all, we responded to the fucking call didn’t we —”

“— based purely on the status of religious affiliation —”

“— sure as shit does not prohibit a content neutral definition that happens to exclude your fucking situation, which if you took the time to think through this dumbass plan you’d know is —”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he shouted, pitch still rising with the polite inflection he used the first time even as his volume grew loud enough to echo off the church walls, because for some reason that one tried his patience in earnest. “Are you really qualified to decide I’m exempt from reporting a crime on constitutional grounds? Are they teaching the First Amendment at the Montana Police Academy now? Please, tell me, Deputy, what’s the response code for a violation of our most basic civil liberties?”

She pursed her lips together as she gave him a wide, closed mouth smile that made dimples emerge just as amber eyes narrowed to glare at him, slapping an open palm down on the carpeted floor he sat on to signal she’d lost her patience too.

“They’re teaching it in fuckin’ grade school, John,” she replied in a tone both softer in volume and higher in pitch as it hissed from the back of her throat, with an inflection that seemed designed to imply she really did pity him for not already knowing. “It’s one fucking sentence in a document written over two hundred years ago, even us simple folk have gotten around to —”

“With two hundred years worth of case law! Which I suppose they must have taught you at —”

“Don’t need fuckin’ case law to read the fucking statute, which the Police Academy does teach,” she spat back, forcefully enough for him to feel the heat of her huffing breaths fall against the exposed portions of his chest, making it very difficult for him to resist arching into it, or tugging at her hair to pull her away from him, the vile creature. “Which if you didn’t bother to check, requires the suspect to have entered or remained unlawfully in an occupied structure —”

“Or the premise of another, if you didn’t bother to read on to the second subsection, which apparently you don’t —”

“— says the man who read the Free Exercise Clause before the Establishment Clause, apparently —”

“— and just in case you haven’t checked, this is privately owned property, legally indistinguishable from any other privately owned building —”

“Oh, is it? Then what do you pay in taxes on the place, John?”

“ — completely irrelevant, it’s private property!”

“— that you represent as open to the public,” she replied with a scowl, leaning in closer, puffed out chest nearly touching his abdomen as she stepped forward to stand defiantly between his open and dangling legs. “So I don’t see how someone entering a building open to the public could be guilty of trespassing,” she said with a bored roll of her eyes.

“The same way any privately owned business —”

“So is your fuckin’ contention then,” she sneered, cocking her head with a crinkle of her nose, “that privately owned establishments that open their doors to the public maintain their right to exclude visitors?”

“Of course.”

“Well,” she drawled with a slow roll of her tongue to draw out the ‘L’ sound, tapping a hand atop his knee. “I’m sure Mary May Fairgrave will be thrilled to hear that, because it’s my understanding some jackass has been coming in her bar every Friday night claiming she can’t kick him out because —”

“— would be a violation of the First Amendment to exclude on the basis of religion —”

“— on the basis of you not fucking buying anything, which if you —”

“— and besides that go there during regular business hours, which —”

“— which bars have, on account of bein’ businesses, whereas a fuckin’ church —”

“— would be illegal to treat us differently simply because —”

“— would be illegal to give y’all special treatment and not recognize the differences between —”

“— for special treatment, only asking to be treated exactly the same as —”

“So is your contention then,” she barked loudly enough to echo off the walls in interruption, “that, aside from the fact that Mary May pays her fucking taxes, your church is otherwise, for all intents and purposes, legally indistinguishable from the Spread Eagle?”

“Yes, and entitled to all the same protections.”

“No differences?”

“None de facto, for our purposes.”

She pulled the corners of her mouth down and curled her upper lip, making the indents of dimples sink into her cheeks and the creases of wrinkles scrunch along her little nose, and truly only she could behave atrociously enough to make the sight more infuriating than adorable.

“So I should just ignore that it’s a place of worship, and treat this place…” she paused to wave in gesture, letting her shoulders shrug with a forced mimic of a single huff of laughter, “exactly like I would the Spread Eagle?”

“If that little thought experiment helps you to do your job, then by all means.”

“Alright,” she chirped too pleasantly, pursed lips now curling into a smile, dimples deepening further.

“Alright,” he repeated back.

“Alright,” she agreed again, raising auburn brows.

“Al —” he only managed to spit out the first syllable in repetition, the second swallowed down with a sharp gasp for air as she reached a hand forward to press flush against the front of his jeans, rubbing her palm up and down along the seam with a rush of sudden, shocking friction. “I — Jessie, what the hell are you… Fuck —”

“Per your fuckin’ orders,” she rumbled, a breathy mix between a purr and a growl, “I am treating this place exactly like I would the Spread Eagle,” she explained plainly as she paused the brushing of her hand to grip him tightly, bringing her free hand to the small of his back to scoot him further towards the ledge of the altar and into her touch. “And this is usually the best way to get you to shut up there.”

“For fuck’s sake J — Deputy Rook,” he forced himself to hiss out with biting disapproval, despite the way his hips began to rock forward of their own volition, then jerked sharply upward to chase her touch as she lifted her hand to work at his belt instead. “We are in the middle of…” he trailed off, unable to finish the statement even to himself, digging teeth into his bottom lip as his eyes trailed along the rows of pews.

“We’re on private property, John,” she cooed, honeyed thick with venom, tugging at his waistband with now practiced efficiency to push his pants and briefs down to his ankles. “No real reason to treat it any different, is there?” she taunted, brushing fingers along his thighs and eyes along arousal now fully exposed and undeniable and aching for her touch.

“In fact,” she hummed, bringing the hand to his neckline instead, pulling him down to briefly soothe him with an unusually tender kiss as she turned fingers to the buttons of his shirt, “we’re on your private property, outside of open hours,” she added in a warm pant against his lips as she parted, undoing the final button of his shirt before shoving a hand against his now bare chest to push him down to lay flat atop the platform then sliding the fingers along his sides, back down to the legs she settled between. “I think we could even get a little crazier than we do there, don’t you?”

And with that her lips found the head of his cock with the same undelayed swoop downward that her hands found the tops of his thighs in, pinning them down flat to keep him in place as she dipped her head to take him in her mouth, restraining him from fully arching into the delicious sensation.

Fuck, he cursed internally as she slid pursed lips back up just as quickly, leaving a pleasured shiver of skin crying out for more in her wake.

But god, was sucking his cock really what qualified as ‘getting crazy’ to her, though? He might have misjudged just how adventurous the little devil was. It could have easily been called vanilla if it not lent a certain novelty by their particular location (which was a distressing drawback to him, of course, something to push out of his mind to enjoy himself). And, well — the fact that their ledgers on head given were notably unbalance thus far, and of all the sinful things they had done it was the first time he was feeling the warm plush of her mouth around him.

And fuck, the fact that she was fucking good at it, he admitted to himself with a quick little spasm of his spine, hips bucking upward and a hand shooting out to grasp at the back of her neck, tugging with restless frustration along the stray baby hairs falling from that damned tight twisted braid she always seemed to wear on duty, wishing desperately he had a full loose mane to pull a proper fistful of.

Instead, he was forced to simply settle for brushing fingers up the base of her skull, slipping beneath the beginning pleats of her braid to thread between taut strands and press downward in eager encouragement for her to keep going.

And she responded to his touch with her own little show of encouragement, shifting the hands pinning his thighs down to bring one up to press against the base of his pelvis, causing the pressure already flooding him there to shoot a quick, dizzying bolt of electricity through his length, making him twitch rigid in her mouth. She slid the other hand towards the center to massage along his inner thigh with a contrasting gentle, almost teasing caress.

But no amount of gentleness could stop him from thrusting his hips up freely now that he was allowed the purchase to do so, almost ashamed at how quickly he shed any hesitance brought by their location to fuck freely into the slick pressure of her mouth and tight grip of her hand now wrapping around the base of his cock.

He tossed his head back against the floorboards in full surrender to it, bucking more frantically as she egged him on with equal parts roughness and gentleness; the tight pumping of her fist at his base and the sweet stroking of her fingers up the sensitive skin of his inner thigh reassuring him that she could take every little thrust.

Although he was quickly losing the ability to restrain himself, anyways, as ecstatic pressure seemed to build from every source. As the bobbing of her head to slide the warm pressure of full, pursed lips and flexing tongue down his length kept picking up speed. And the grip of the hand pumping along the expanse of length she couldn’t swallow clenched ever tighter.

And the hand brushing along his inner thigh kept creeping up and up and up, until he had to spread his legs wider just to accommodate the gentle, teasing fingertips along their path, and were then tickling along the creases at their top and still inching further, and — was she — ?

He swallowed and gasped, throat suddenly dry with the realization. They’d reached just past even, and he could no longer deny understanding of the meaning of the way they danced along the soft skin of his inner cheeks now, asking silent permission, daring interruption of their clear path.

An interruption he simply couldn’t bring himself to make when the thrilling shiver each brush of fingertips sent up his spine grew stronger and more focused the closer she came to his center. Until the shiver was finally a jolt that made his arched spine stiffen straight as she finally brushed along the sensitive rim at the crevice she spent so long teasing, and he shot up to his elbows at the sensation.

“J-Jessie,” he whimpered out in pleading, without being able to focus lust flurried mind on exactly what he was pleading for.

Her only immediate answer was the sudden upward flick of tawny eyes to train directly on him as she swallowed him yet again, gaze trailing along the quiver his bottom lip gave in response to the ghosting brush of her thumb along his hole.

“Jessie, please,” he panted out a little more desperately, willing himself to really mean it as a signal to pause this time.

John forced himself to break from her stare and focus eyes blurred from being squeezed shut tight to the point of watering on the rows of pews behind her, dart from the arched windows and aisles of red carpeting that served as visual evidence of just where they were. God, it was bad enough he’d been weak and at the mercy of sin enough to let her go down on him here — to even get aroused at her devilish tricks in the first place, for that matter. To add to that actually finishing here, and like that… “Fuck Jessie, we’re still — we’re still in —”

He still couldn’t manage to finish the thought before she jerked her head upward and let him fall from her mouth with a soft, wet pop of those now swollen lips. She let her fist loosen from around his base as well, while the hand between his legs stayed stubbornly in place, caressing teasingly just outside his rim.

Before he could even bother to choke out words again she rose to stand, now leaning over him in his place still half reclined and splayed out atop the altar for her, free hand moving to caress back and forth along the ridge of his hip bone as the thumb of the other finally pressed flush against the puckered muscles they’d been teasing the edge of.

“Fuck, you’re sensitive, huh?” she rasped with doe eyes wide in focus on his lap as if to show clearly that she’d seen the shameful, needy little twitch his cock gave in response to pressure against his hole even without hardness itself being touched.

“Jessie,” he whined out uselessly yet again, completely paralyzed between asking her to stop out of shame and staving off the worse torture of losing her touch.

“John?” she rumbled hoarsely, her soprano particularly gravelly in the afterglow of his fucking her throat.

“Will you just fucking —” the words caught in the dried and sore flesh of his own throat to stick there painfully as she continued. He thrust grasping hands out to wrap around her arms just above the crook of her elbows and pull himself more upright, look into her face more directly.

“Let’s finish this at my place,” he offered, best compromise he could think of, even though the mere ten minute wait of the car ride even felt intolerable to him at this point, badly as he needed her. “Take me home, if you’re inclined to touch me like that,” he reasoned, knitting brows upward in pleading. “We’ll actually have what we need there, to do it properly and — fuck,” he gasped as she gave another quick brush along wrinkled skin, biting into his lower lip before continuing. “And could take our time, and wouldn’t —” And wouldn’t be in the building he was entrusted with keeping holy. “And not have to rush. Come on, we can forget the police report, if you’ll just take me home now.”

But the soft smile that spread along plumped lips seemed more smug than acquiescing, pulling slightly crooked to one side. “You’d forget this entire little stunt of yours just to get my fingers in you?”

“Yes,” he sighed, feeling creeping shame at how easily he made the concession, but not as much as he was sure he’d feel letting her continue sucking him off and playing with his asshole on a fucking church altar. “You can do whatever you like to me, if you just leave with me now.”

He felt briefly hopeful with the sprawling flush of pink creeping along her cheeks at the promise.

Before she clicked her tongue against her teeth and shook her head in the negative, finally removing the hand from between his legs and shifting arms up to press forearms against his, holding him by the elbows.

“Sorry, baby. I’m still on the clock whether you’re done making up fake crimes for me or not,” she whispered with a devastatingly chaste kiss to the sweat slickened skin of his forehead, gripping his arms to guide him back flat again. “But I’ll still take care of you best I can,” she added, trailing those same butterfly kisses down his torso, along the bones of his hips before finally gripping the base of his cock again.

And she met the swift upward arch of his hips from the sudden pang of pleasure sparking through him anew with a kiss to the tops of his thighs to ease the tensing limbs back down, ghosting her kisses inward again as she crouched between his legs. She trailed lips upward in the same path her fingertips had walked moments early, finally pressing a kiss to his inner cheek.

Then a warm, heavy breath fell along his cleft, practically already wetting him with its steaminess, the promising heat of it making his cheeks and thighs tremble in involuntary jerks of parting and unparting to chase that ever building storm of sensation, rewarded with stray little kisses that made him gasp for air, and —

And fuck was she really going to put her mouth on him there? And while they were here? In the middle of — fuck, he couldn’t allow himself to even think about it, squeezed his eyes shut tight so that he didn’t even have to look at the reality of where he was as she finally closed the last bit of distance to press that warm, thick tongue against his hole directly.

An embarrassingly sharp gasp caused his chest to heave as she dragged the plush cushion of her tongue forward along his hole to just beneath his sac, let out as a choked groan as she flicked it back down to slide the slick underside along the same path.

“Fuck yes,” she craned back slightly to purr without slowing the pumping of her hand, plump bottom lip barely brushing against his hole now as she mumbled the words against his skin. “Don’t hold back any of those pretty noises for me, baby. I want you to let me hear just how good it feels. I want you to be so fuckin’ loud for me God himself can hear how good I make you feel.”

And fuck the wretched, wrecked cry he bleated out in response to that could be heard echoing all the way off of the high beam ceilings in offering, shame at himself and anger at her chased out with the white hot molten rush jolting through him from the massage of her tongue flush against his entrance and a harsh stroke of her hand to glide precum dewing at his tip down his full length, making everything on him slick with want.

She flexed that full, flattened tongue for a few more beats of luxurious giving, as if to make sure every little nerve sparked to life to greedily accept her generous pressure before she lightened it to more teasing force. And then finally slid tongue back until just its tip trailed along the outermost edge of the sensitive ring, slowing the stroke of her hand as she did.

“Fuck,” he cursed, slamming a fist down in frustration at the abrupt retreat. “Stop fucking teasing already,” he hissed, arching frantically, scooting forward so that his thighs now rested fully atop her shoulders, legs practically wrapping around her neck. (In the back of his mind he noted what an ironic reversal it was of the first position they’d ever found themselves in, but couldn’t bear to dwell on it, on the thought of anything but getting more more more.) “Q-Quit fucking around and just g-get me off if you’re going to do it.”

But he knew the moment she neglected to meet his outburst with usual scolding for being too demanding, instead bringing her free hand up to cradle his thigh without bothering to lift her head or retract teasing tongue to spit out a clever retort, that it was useless. He was condemned to lay back a helpless mess of pealing moans and restless squirming as that wet tip circled him, slowly but surely creeping in towards where his body begged most for attention.

And fuck, after more gasping breaths than he thought he could survive in waiting as she continued her cruel path, at least she was merciful enough when she did finally reach his opening, stiffening her tongue to not waste another second not lavishing him with its full attention and finally building back up the pace of the hand wrapped around him. She lapped and licked at his entrance relentlessly now, driving him into a whole other gear of needy frenzy.

Until finally she set a steady rhythm in flicking her tongue to poke just barely past the ring of delicate folds and tightly clenched muscles, a regular pace of tiny wet tip pumping along the rim, just deep enough to tease him with an echo of the sensation of getting truly and properly fucked.

God, it was somehow both too much, sending his nerves into overdrive, and also not enough, making him desperately wish there was by some miracle proper lube around so she could do more than just teasing laps, thrust those free fingers currently digging into his thighs deep inside him instead.

But alas, surely not. They were, after all, in the middle of a church, he reminded himself with a sick little thrill that traveled through him with a deep shudder.

His thighs quivered in their place rested atop her shoulders from the rush of it, only growing more needy and shaking from her hand brushing up and down to soothe the tremor, rewarding him in tandem with a tight squeeze of the hand pumping his length and a deep, gravelly moan hummed against his skin, vibrating through every hungry nerve ending, sparking all the way up his spine and making him clench and tighten.

His hand curled and clawed restlessly at the carpet of the altar as he bucked hips against her mouth to frantically chase the sensation, gripping for purchase, for anything to anchor himself as he strained and pushed against her flexing tongue. The hand caressing his leg wrapped around to pull it outward, spreading him out even more to give herself better access, then slid up his thigh up to reach for his desperately grasping fist instead, twining their fingers as her tongue increased its pace. Her mouth stayed too busy pressed flush against him to speak, but she gave another rising hum in encouragement, squeezing the hand she held as her thumb brushed up and down along his skin in the embrace.

And it was that gentle little stroke of her thumb against the side of his hand that truly drove him over the edge — the fact that fuck she was really touching him so tenderly, affectionately, while the tip of her tongue wriggled in his ass.

It was simply too much, made every part of him tremble, locking that sweet caressing hand in a shaking vice grip while his rim fluttered to cling to her flexing tongue and press it against every greedy nerve ending and his cock gave those final begging throbs in her hand.

And it just felt too easy, so safe to fall apart when she had him like this, to let that deep quaking consume him and finally allow everything to snap in pulsing release.

“Oh, fuck yes, I’m — god yes, I’m fucking there, yes, Jessie,” he stuttered out incoherently as he was flooded with it, last overwhelming blaze igniting along his skin as he thrashed in surrender to the power of those waves of absolute ecstasy, carried by them without a care for the senseless ways his body and mouth moved as warm spurts of release fell along his torso and hips. “Yes, oh god, Jessie, fuck yes, my Jessie, so good — love it, Jessie. My sweet Jessie, make me feel so — so so good.”

His babbling cries slowly faded with his climax, and he collapsed back against the altar, laboring to catch his breath, lungs amongst the parts of him still frantically contracting and struggling to relax as he came down, hand still entwined with hers, that sweet little stroke of her thumb staying steady, brushing along skin to soothe him even as her grip slackened and her hand unwound from around his softening length to massage around the base now tingling with gentle relief.

“God, just look at you,” she rasped, as hoarse and teasingly lilting as ever as she finally lifted her head from between his legs.

He threw an arm over his eyes in sudden impulse to hide in response to the remark, certain he must in fact look as absolutely ruined as he felt. Not to mention it occurred to him for the first time that this was the most exposed she’d ever seen him, in his position sprawled out with shirt unbuttoned and pants around his ankles as warm sunlight spilled through high arched windows to fall along every inch of naked skin.

And he was already bracing himself for more bitter mocking from her, furrowed brow already slanting downward in resentment as he tried to jumpstart hazy mind to begin brainstorming a retort for whatever she was sure to attack first — a barb about the location, certainly, but she’d probably throw in something about the scars, or how pathetic he looked with his legs still spread, or —

“No fuckin’ fair for you to get to look this beautiful,” she grunted just under her breath before leaning down again, slipping a hand under his back before pressing her mouth against him to once again brush tongue along skin, kissing away the release coating his stomach.

Every planned jab melted away with the soft warmth of lips trailing along his skin, so that all he could do was arch upward to meet her.

Fuck. Beautiful. He hadn’t even realized beautiful was something he could feel, only something he could be with enough meticulous preening. But there was nothing else to describe the warm glow that swelled in his chest as she kissed up it, finally settling with her nose nuzzled at his neck.

“Jessie,” he hummed, finally pulling aside the arm cast over his eyes to rest behind him to prop himself up to rise, fluttering eyelids open to meet the tawny eyes now hovering above him.

Beautiful. Fuck, she was so beautiful too, eyes twinkling particularly golden caught with magnified sunlight and framed with lightly smudged charcoal of eyeliner smeared by sweat, cheeks rosy from the warmth of the summer day and the heat and energy generated between them, lips still so puffy from pressure and glossy with lingering saliva that he simply couldn’t resist just how kissable they were, craning his neck that last bit of distance to press them softly against his.

He settled into that comfortable relief of afterglow he so rarely actually savored as she moved her mouth against his with that same uncharacteristic sluggish tenderness, pressing more weight into his right hand to extend his arm and lean further into her as his left reached to her waistband to begin working at undoing her belt buckle.

“John,” she gasped softly into the kiss, before pulling back, straightening to sit back on her shins between his legs, scooting away until her knees were at the edge of the altar, gently shepherding him along to follow from the supportive hand still cradled at the small of his back.

“My turn,” he sighed against the lips he’d barely parted from as they readjusted themselves, still barely separating now as he murmured words against them. “Want to hear you screaming my name like that now. Want to make you feel that good.”

But her warmth was gone before he could even slide leather through metal, strap slipping through his fingers instead as she hopped down from the platform with an awkward chuckle.

“I, uh — I’m good, that’s alright,” she laughed, tugging at her belt loops to readjust her jeans before smoothing at their front. “Pretty much got what I wanted already.”

Comfortable warmth curdled and boiled over into stinging bitterness heating his insides yet again. “You don’t want me to touch you?”

He bunched fists into silk to throw his shirt back over his chest and regain some semblance of dignity, jumping down into his wrinkled pants just the same as the possibilities raced through his mind. So what then, was she now repulsed by him? Or had she just wanted to humiliate him while she maintained her own innocence? Or did she simply —?

“John, please.” His runaway train of thought was derailed by her overly casual scoff. “I told you, I am an on duty professional. I’m not gonna sully the badge by trying to get my rocks off on the clock.”

His mind realigned itself to race again to conjure the most biting response he could to that. Perhaps that she’d already sullied the entire department the moment she set sinful foot into it. Or a threat laced remark about how he could already have her stripped of the badge for abusing it to coerce him into doing something so shameful when he was just trying to innocently report a crime. Or perhaps simply pointing out she clearly cared about the sanctity of the uniform about as much as she cared about the sanctity of his church, which was…

“Plus I gotta hurry on back if I expect to get this dumbass report filed in time to still make it to happy hour at the Spread Eagle.”

Righteous fury smoldered and fell, reigniting a more petty anger.

“So you’re agreeing to file the report now?” he questioned, regaining his prior authoritativeness with a rise in measured tone and steady march forward to follow her down the aisle towards the exit.

“Well, yeah,” she replied almost boredly, turning around one last time to lean against the doorway at a slanted angle with forearm propped against the frame, flashing him an equally crooked smile. “What can I say? I found your oral arguments on the subject very convincing,” she added with an infuriatingly smug wink. “Besides, not like I had a fucking choice anyways. Yeah, you’re probably makin’ the story up, but no fucking shit a church is protected by trespass laws.”

He drew a deep breath in, puffing his chest out further as he approached to loom over her. “So you knew the entire time that —”

“Oh, what?” she huffed, lifting her chin to blow a hot puff of air against his lips with the words without adjusting her posture to even their heights, making a theatrical show of being completely unintimidated. “Is that annoying?” she asked in an overly whiny tone, with a crinkle of her nose and an overly sweet cock of her head to the side with feigned innocence. “When someone digs their heels into a stance they know is legally fuckin’ baseless just for personal gain?”

He slammed a hand against the wall and bent at the waist himself to mimic her in propping himself there casually, craning his neck down to flaunt how much larger he was than her still. “I could see how that would be frustrating. Particularly if your opponent’s only goal in putting forth a bad faith position seems to be dragging out an argument that —”

“That could have ended a long time ago,” she finished for him with a sharp, exaggerated nod, finally straightening herself to stand and taking a step back in the greeting room, flashing a final smirk before turning. “And saved everyone a lot of hassle. Speaking of which,” she added with a parting wave of her hand, strolling towards the door to the outside this time. “Unless you have anything material to add, like I fuckin’ said, I’d like to still make happy hour.”

“By all means,” he boomed with a flourish of his arm towards the exit she was already passing through. “Although I’m sure you’re already aware that also happens to be the time I like to do public outreach, and by now I’m sure you’re also certainly aware —”

“That there’s nothing I can do to stop you,” she barked without turning around, continuing towards her car. “‘Cause it’s a public place in a free country, after all. But that’s the exact same goddamn reason I’m not gonna let you run me out of there, because I have just as much right to be there as —”

“As I do,” he cut her off, now standing in the open doorway, feeling sunlight against his cheeks directly this time. “And I won’t be run off either, just so you know.”

“Alright!” she called out to him in acknowledgement with a last toss back of her head as she swung her driver’s side door open.

“Alright!” he shouted back in agreement, making sure to hurry the word out loud enough to be heard before her door finally slammed shut and she cranked the engine.

And he swore he saw her mouth the syllables of ‘alright’ one last time in the rearview mirror, and if satisfying some childish urge to have the last word in the matter, if only to herself.

So he muttered the word under his breath himself one last time before balling his hand into a fist and swinging it to turn around and stomp back into the building, down the corridor then circling around off to the side to watch her drive away through one of the main hall windows, police cruiser slowly vanishing over the horizon.

And so, after all that had happened, he ultimately ended the encounter much the same way he began it: staring out the window, stroking his beard, plotting their next interaction in his head.

[thekingofwinterblog]

I Like Who I Am - Sasha's Great Backslide

Through Season 2, Sasha's overall storyline is all about inner denial. Namely her taking the revelation she came to in Reunion, and shoving it into the deepest pit in her own mind.

Speciffically the fact that she was a bad, toxic friend to Anne.

Pretty much her entire storyline in the season, is about denying this fact, and pretending it isn't the case.

The reason for this is that Sasha bases her entire sense of herself as a "good person" on the fact that she was a good influence on the people she truly loved(aka, Anne, and to a lesser extent Marcy). And as we see in Turning point, when she finally, truly accepts the fact that she was a terrible friend, her ability to justify to herself why she can do bad things crumbles to absolute dust.

As such, it's way, way easier to mentally pretend she didn't realize she was a bad friend.

Which she does, all throughout season 2.

However, if one actually go back and watches season 2, Sasha all throughout the season is filled with self doubt.

In Toadcatcher, she is hyperagressive against the Anne and Plantar dummies, while telling herself it isn't over, using her anger as a way to cope and push the revelation to the back of her mind.

In Barrels Warhammer, Sasha's entire outburst of emotion is all about her refusing to accept the idea that she is an optional part of the trio(Aka that she's a bad, bad friend that Anne and Marcy would be better off withouth).

And in the Third Temple, she is clearly is having second thoughts, mentally debating with herself of whether she will be able to, or even willing, to go through with Grime's plan.

Which makes a lot of sense, because for Sasha to be able to mentally justify going through with this plan, she essentially has to delude herself into thinking she can juggle 3, completely separate goals.

Sasha want's 3 things.

She wants to enforce complete control over her life, and has decided that conquering Amphibia will do the trick. After all, there is no one that has more control and power than a queen.

She also want's to make Grime happy, as while she's on-board with this whole continental conquest thing, she wasn't the one who came up with the idea, nor was she the driving force for the plan before the Toad meeting. Just like Sasha was willing to give up her life for Anne, she similarly is more than willing to conquer a kingdom for Grime. Because Sasha defines her entire sense of self on being a good friend, she is willing to go all the way for them.

These two are not exclusive to the other, and in fact compliments each other pretty well. The same however cannot be said for the third thing Sasha is trying to achieve.

The third thing Sasha wants to do, is prove herself, once and for all as a good friend to Anne, and thusly be justified in pretending that the words "Maybe You're Better Off Without Me." Never happened.

This is why her ultimate plan is to fulfill Anne's(and she thinks Marcy's) goal of going home, after she takes the capital. That is what Anne and Marcy truly wants, and as their good friend, Sasha will give it to them.

That way, she can have it all. She can be a good friend to both Anne, Marcy, AND Grime, pretend the revelation at the climax of reunion never happened, and she can have total control, so her fears of things going "Wrong" can never happen again.

It is quite frankly a stupid plan, one that relies completely on Sasha somehow fooling herself into thinking Anne will be okay with it.

And you can tell at the end of The Third Temple that Sasha is starting to realize it isn't going to work.

Which is why she is so adamantly agressive at the start of of The Dinner, that she hasn't actually changed.

It's her way of trying to force the issue. If she tries hard enough, she can make this happen, so long as she is willing to follow this plan to the very end, it will all work out.

While the whole pretend to be nice so Anne will trust her again is a strategy, it's clear that for Sasha, she genuinely wants Anne to trust her, to genuinely regard her as her friend.

The Dinner is an episode full of moments that can be dissected all on their own, but the most pivotal moment, that determines Sasha's willingness to go through with the coup after all, is her scene with Anne at the end.

Sasha tells Anne, that she gets what Anne is saying, but that she doesn't know if she can actually change.

"I know you want me to change who I am. But I don't know if I can. I like who I am."

It's at this point that Anne makes a mistake. Because she chooses to meet her halfway there. She chooses to back down and compromise, rather than give Sasha some hard, but necessary love.

It's a mistake rooted in well meaning, and the fact that Anne does love Sasha, but it's a mistake nonetheless.

And the reason why Anne makes the mistake, is that the two girls have completely different interpretations behind the words.

For Anne, what Sasha is asking is "Please accept me in spite of my flaws". Essentially that Sasha is asking her to love her, warts and all. And for a person who's had to deal with that request on both sides(Both ultimately forgiving Hop Pop for his mistakes, and being forgiven by the Plantars through the series in spite of her many, many fuck ups) it's not too surprising that Anne in the end, agrees, with the only caveat being that she asks Sasha to respect that both her and Marcy has changed and become different people.

For Sasha though, this is what she thinks is the crucial moment. Because in her mind, this entire question isn't about the here and now. It's about absolutely everything that's come before.

Because to her, what she is actually asking Anne, is "Please tell me that despite it all, I was a good friend. Please tell me that i was wrong at the tower. Please tell me that i DON'T have to change.".

She want's Anne to refute her previous assessment that Sasha was nothing but trouble for her, and that her life would ultimately be better off without her.

So long as Anne tells her that, Sasha is capable of going through with this insane plan of hers, expecting it would somehow work out.

The real tragedy of course, is that Anne was never going to be able to give her that tough love Sasha really, really needed at this point. Because Anne and Sasha have completely different views on what's happened between this point, and their reunion at the third temple.

Anne believes that Sasha is legit, that for all her protestations, she genuinely has had a change of heart.

Sasha however, has been lying to Anne, and though this emotional moment is very, very genuine, what's around it, is not.

Sasha genuinely wants to make up with Anne, and earn her love, trust, and friendship back. However, she lies. She manipulates, she tries to make up, while actively refusing to truly change.

And so, when Anne makes the choice to not tell Sasha that she's a bad person, and that if she really wants to rekindle their relationship, she WILL have to change, and become a better person, Anne takes her previous behavior in good faith, and makes the choice to be the better woman.

Because despite what Sasha thinks in Toadcatchers, their friendship wasn't dead. Because even after the catastrophic events of Reunion, Anne DID love her still, warts and all, despite being vary when meeting her again.

So, as Sasha backtracks her character development completely in battle of the bands, and goes all the way back to the way their relationship dynamic back in school(Just as toxic as ever), Anne still choses to give Sasha all the benefits of the doubts because she genuinely, truly trusts her again.

She has bared her heart to Sasha, and she truly, 100% trusts her again, warts and all.

While Sasha has now embraced the idea that for all her flaws, she was justified in how she treated Anne and Marcy, because while it might not always have worked out, her heart was in the right place.

It was the final push she needed to truly, and wholeheartedly go through with the coup, while thinking she could balance all her desires.

Of course reality set in immediately, as Anne completely loses it(And rightfully so) on Sasha's betrayal.

While on the opposite end, Sasha is pretty much completely in denial about how this is never going to work, even as she is looking at Anne who's about to explode at her.

And predictably, it ends the Worst way possible, as Anne does not give Sasha hard love, as much as a decidedly harsh, "Go FUCK yourself and NEVER talk to me AGAIN!" Breaking off their friendship.

Sasha really is her own, worst enemy.

Because the great Irony of this moment, the tragedy of it all, is that before her betrayal, she actually did have the thing she truly desired most.

For all of Sasha's control issues, her fears and inzecurities, what she want's the most of everything in the world, is for her loved ones to love her back.

And she had that.

She had both Marcy and(More importantly to Sasha) Anne's love and trust... And because of her refusal to accept the harsh truth that she was a bad friend, and choose to do better for the people she loved, she pissed it all away.

[shiftynightshade]

Cody shifted as General Kenobi gestured to the holo-map, a frown accompanying the crease in-between his eyebrows. The general was discussing tactics and strategies with the dreadful Wilffur Tarkin, and the two were debating over the better battle plan.

(It was arguing really, one-sided as it was.)

‘Well’ Cody mused. ‘Which strategy will allow more Vod’e to walk away alive.’

Tarkin was infamous in the GAR, ruthless in all his plans, and he certainly didn’t care about how many brothers died, and if all of them died but the battle was won, all those deaths were overlooked by everyone.

Except the Jedi.

The Jedi treated them like people, sentient beings with thoughts and feeling, not flesh droids. Called them by their names rather than their numbers, mourned them and loved them.

And Cody’s general, Obi-Wan Kenobi, The Negotiator, was the best of them all.

Tarkins’ oily voice was cold and snide as he leered at Kenobi through the hologram.

“Well, General Kenobi” He spat out their Jedi’s title, which evidently didn’t go unnoticed, if nearly every brother on the bridge bristling in offense was any indication. “It seems that we are yet to meet at a compromise, I shall call at a later date to discuss this again.” With a harsh flick the call was cut.

Under his bucket Cody frowned. He hated the way Tarkin talked or looked at his Jedi. Obi-wan had turned around, a scowl in place of his normal charming smile, and Cody longed to run his thumb over those soft pink lips and kiss them sweetly.

The sudden beeping of the comms nearly made Cody jump. Nearly. Though judging by Waxer and Boils snickering, his brothers still noticed. Fuck.

“Kenobi?” Helixes’ drawl trickled through. “The Jedi healers arrived sir.”

Obi-wan nodded, even if Helix couldn’t see it. “Bring them to the bridge, thank you Helix.” Cody sighed internally, whether it was from relief or anticipation, he wasn’t sure yet. The senate had finally caved and ordered for a Jedi healer to be stationed with major and heavy-hitting battalions to assist and to make sure that those Jedi didn’t get themselves killed or captured as more and more cases of force exhaustion and force coma’s quickly rose among the Jedi.

Cody could still remember Pond’s terrified voice trickling through their comms, his breathing laboured and speech borderline hysterical. Sobbing about how during one of Windu’s worse bouts of force exhaustion and headaches, caused by there being too many shatterpoints had left them vulnerable.

Ponds was clutching his generals lightsaber in both fists, hands trembling and obviously trying to not think about what Dooku and Ventress could’ve been doing to his riduur, and he had refused to let go of the lightsaber until they had finally located and retrieved Windu two months later, the master of the order in a force induced coma and still temple bound.

Cody repressed a shudder. The sheer brokenness in Ponds eyes as he stared at the Korrun’s battered body floating lifelessly in the bacta tank, then later spending every day religiously by his side while holding his hand gently, not caring of the days going by as he sat his protective vigil by the comatose Jedi’s side.

Cody pursed his lips. It’s probably for the better.

Obi-wan’s expression morphed into slight confusion, even if it’ was only a slight narrowing of the eyes.

Cody removed his bucket to rest it on his hip and opened his mouth. “Sir?” He was going to say more, but he was cut off by the door to the bridge opening and a scream of “OBI!” echoing in the room. A blur of cream and blue robes and pinkish red skin rushing past him which quickly turned into a hug like tackle, the blur turning out to be a red-pink Calamari woman in a combined set of cream and blue robes, her shout having quickly drawn the attention of everyone on the bridge.

Obi-wan had looked up at the shout, surprise then joy spreading across is face as the calamari latched onto him like a barnacle from Kamino’s oceans.

Cody felt his eyebrows rise, in curiosity, and when Obi-wan hugged the vibrating stranger back just as tightly, he was pretty sure they were going to fly off his head.

Obi-wan smiled warmly, and for one in a long time, it met his eyes.

“Bant! I didn’t expect you to be assigned to u!”

Head against Obi-wan’s chest, the side of the temple where ears on a human would be rested right over his hears. Crys cleared his throat.

“I’m going to guess that you two know each other?”

Obi-wan gave a rare, but blindingly radiant smile. The two shifted so his and Bant’s arms were wrapped around each other’s shoulders a position Cody was familiar with. It was one of kinship and a way to acknowledge siblings.

Bant giggled. “Obi’s my Clanmate and brother in everything but blood.” Cody blinked.

“Clanmate..?” He ventured. “Is that like the vode’s batchmates?”

For a ridiculous moment Cody thought that would’ve been confused about the concept of batchmates, but her large eyes sparkled and she smiled.

“Exactly! There’s a few differences obviously, but the concept is same!”

Cody gave a small smile at the praise, ignoring Cry’s imploring look.

Suddenly Obi-wan straightened. “Everyone, this is Bant Eerin, she’ll be serving alongside our medics for an unprecedented amount of time.” A shiny whose name Cody has yet to learn raised their hand.

Obi-wan nodded at the shiny. “Yes..?” the prompt for their name went unsaid. They shifted on the spot. “Ace sir.” He tapped his fingers against his yet to be painted armour. “If you don’t mind me asking, but what’s different about clanmates?”

Bant smiled. “Great question Ace! Clanmates are like a Jedi initiates family until they are picked by a master, and then they join that lineage’s family.”

She bumped her shoulder against Obi-wan’s with a small grin. “It’s up to an individual whether or not they still consider their clanmates family or not.”

She fiddled with a necklace, the rope and pendant barely noticeable under her robes. “Sometimes a Jedi will switch masters, whether because they requested a change or something happens to the master, then you will be considered apart of two different lineages.”

Obi-wan grinned and nodded. “Does that answer your questions Ace?”

The clone nodded bashfully, a small smile and a soft blush making its way onto his face.

Crys leaned against a console with his arms crossed, but swiftly raised a hand. Obi-wan nodded over at him. “Yes Crys?”

Crys stared at the two Jedi with thinly veiled curiosity, and on the excited shifting from the rest of the Vod’e, they were just as excited to learn.

“What did General Eerin mean by if a Jetti shiny requests a new master?” They all knew what ‘if something happened to the master’ meant. Too incapacitated to teach and raise, or dead.

Bant’s eyes grew sad, while Obi-wan closed his eyes. “If,” Bant began, a mix of grief and anger swirling in her eyes. “-A padawan requests a new master, an investigation is launched immediately for why they want a change.”

Obi-wan took over. “There has been only a few cases of abuse, but they still exist, some instances a master had declining physical or mental health. And both have agreed that it would be safer and more beneficial for both to part ways.”

Obi-wan grew quiet. “And there has only been a handful of time where the master has fallen to the darkside.”

The bridge grew quiet at that. Cody hadn’t seen a Jedi that had fallen outside of Dooku, but he’s heard stories, tales of how they became a shell of their former selves. He shuddered at the idea of an ad’ika happened to be with them…

And Cody dreaded the idea of his general falling. Pale skin splashed with the blood of innocents, Jedi and Vod’e alike, warm blue-green eyes taken over by a cold, molten gold that boiled with rage and hate. His blue lightsaber, usually a blazing symbol of hope and safety, instead replaced with red, a symbol of fear and darkness.

Cody let out a breath. He and the rest f his brothers would rather be cut down or eat their own blasters than fight against their general.

“-Ways Bant, do you need any directions or do you want to go straight to the med-bay?”

Cody jerked out of his head, eternally grateful that he had put his bucket back on.

Bant and Obi-Wan had turned to face each other. Bant smirked. “Are you saying you’re willing to go to med-bay with me?” The bridges occupants collectively held their breaths.

Bant hummed. “Sixty-six seconds Obi, better start running.” Cody watched in amusement as a few clones cheered or yelled out “go general!” as he dashed down the hall, and Cody managed to catch a glimpse of Obi-Wan kicking a vent covering open and leaping into the vents just as the covering fell back into place.

Sixty-six seconds later and Bant stood from where she was sitting and cleared her throat. “Alright, boys!”

She grinned. “Who wants to help me hunt down a rogue patient?”

Cody grinned as Crossbones cheered from his spot next to Crys.

[b000mbayah]

Mafia Itzy's reaction to seeing you again

♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡

Yeji

It's been days since the incident and she just can't get that gut wrenching feeling out of her system. She has had nightmares up until today, each one revolving around you.

Yeji's frustration had eventually gotten the best of her and so here she is, at your front door with a small 'sorry for your loss' card in her hand.

If someone from the gang saw her, they'd assume she's possessed. She never does this to anyone, it's never been a topic she brings up during small chats nor has it been brung up when it comes to things like her past. Being sorry just isn't in her system, another is any emotion to be honest.

Yeji is known for her harsh words and aggressive actions so this is completely new to everyone, including the assassination too.

Obviously you were a bit confused on as to how she knew your father was recently deceased but that didn't stop you from thanking her and invited the supposive heartless killer inside.

"What's your name" you began, giving her a sad smile since the incident had also been on your mind.

A wave of relief hits Yeji, at least you don't recognise her.

"Yeji, Hwang Yeji" the ginger's face remains static as y/n's glows with Joy.

"Nice to meet you Hwang Yeji, I'm Kang Y/n" your hand extends, only to receive a weird look from the older girl in front of you, but nonetheless, Yeji takes your hand and shakes it.

Small sparks of electricity travel around in Yeji's veins, a feeling she never would have thought was possible to feel. 

It's never sounded possible all those times she had overheard a conversation about how someone met the love of their life, and it sure as hell had her confused.

"Please come in" your door widens and Yeji accepts the invitation, stepping into the same house she first saw you, saw you cramped up against your dying father's body…

That's in the past, who needs the past, right? Even if Yeji doesn't know it yet, all she needs right now is for you to fall for her since she's already fallen.

Lia

Taking out that incompetent little boy was no deal for such a fierce woman such as herself, and so once that man was struck to the concreted floor, unconscious, she threw him into one of the dumpsters to hide his drunk body.

She hadn't killed him but it's likely he'll be dead in the next few hours due to the eternal bleeding that she may or may not have gave him...

Being back inside the nightclub reminded her of why she was here in the first place, the planned negotiation and deal, that she left just to beat up a dude that was a little too close to you.

Lia takes her seat, debating on whether or not she should take some time off after this, her fingers massaging her temples as the sound of music combined with people singing are getting to her mind, a headache lightly brewing in her head.

Her eyes dart to the paper that's been slid her way. Since they can't hear each other, this is the only way they can communicate.

The paper reads "is that your girl? Wouldn't it be such a shame if something happened to her"

Lia immediately sits up, composing herself before writing back to the dealers. She scribbles down the words "What do you mean?" a single question mark following.

They take a few seconds before sliding another one her way, this time it sets off a mental alarm.

"Look at her"

And so she does, her eyes glide along the dancefloor until they land on you as you're struggling against the restraints of three extremely built men.

"I suggest we don't pay if you want her back" another paper flies her way causing her to grit her teeth.

Lia is going to have to be quick and agile for this, there's no way she's about to hand over three million won worth of drugs over to this man without payment.

Her hand rests on the small gun in her pocket, if this means police showing up then that's what it's going to have to have come to, she can't help but feel like you are her priority.

Ryujin

Regular updates, update after update on your whereabouts and what you're doing. Ryujin understands how stalkerish this is and how this isn't her, how this isn't the evil queen she was taught to be, but you're glued to her mind 24/7.

Ryujin can't seem to sleep if she doesn't know you're sleeping beforehand. Ryujin can't eat without knowing you're keeping up with a healthy diet.

All of this information has been added to her life, forming a new daily routine for her. Without noticing, her life has somehow begun to revolve around you.

After months of continuous stalking, she finally bumped into you on 'accident' and with a confident smile, she seems to want to play it risqué.

"Hey beautiful" Ryujin smirks knowing her sudden confidence has made you notice her. Your head is slightly tilted as you look at her.

"Do I know you? You seem to be everywhere these days" you chuckle, making it Ryujins turn to tilt her head.

"How so?"

"I've been seeing you in my dreams a lot lately" your signature grin is plastered onto your face. This was truly unexpected, Ryujin came up confident and now she may just leave as one shy baby.

"I-" she regains her posture "I could say the same thing" Ryujin makes a comeback, not as smooth as it could have been but oh well.

"Tell me what exactly happens in these so called dreams of yours then?" You whisper in her ear, a cheeky grin pulling at the side of your lip as you mentally celebrate.

Your words catch her off guard, once again. The blue haired girl begins to fumble cutely over her words. What an embarrassing moment for the poor stunt devil.

"I'm y/n" your sudden change in attitude makes Ryujin let out a thankful sigh.

"Nice to know"

"Hey, aren't you going to tell me your name?" Ryujin shakes her head to your words as she takes a step back.

"Catch me to find out"

Chaeryeong

Throwing parties was never something she thought she would do, let alone at her own house. Chaeryeong's girlfriend is probably off somewhere, making out with some complete stranger.

Even if Chaeryeong would always go looking for her girlfriend, tonight was different. She wasn't looking for that gold digger and instead she was looking for you.

Her heart clenched itself as she sees you kissing your boyfriend, a half empty bottle in your hand and a tight black dress clung to your body.

With a nervous shiver taking over her body for a split second, she walks over. Now, what should she say? Chaeryeong hadn't thought this far.

"Welcome" Chaeryeong begins, catching the male and your attention. 

"Cool party boss" the Assassin says, a smile on his face.

Chaeryeongs gonna have to play her cards right tonight

"Yeah, thank you miss Chaeryeong" formalities? It seems you really have it all, including her heart.

You send her a wide smile, Chaeryeong just barely mirrors the action, who is she to ruin her reputation over a girl?

"Why did you come over here, boss?" The Assassin asks, his hands still cluched around your waist.

"Can I talk to you?" Chaeryeong doesn't wait for any response and just drags one of the lower members of her gang away to a private room.

"What are you doing boss" he asks confused at Chaeryeongs sudden action.

Usually she wouldn't put a ban on dating nor would she fire someone for dating but she may have to use one of those for the sake of her heart.

Yuna

Her voice is dripping with venom as her yells fill the empty streets, just her and the new recruit, who she thought looked like you, with alcohol in their hands as they walk around, shamelessly yelling at walls and each other.

They have gained some weird looks but other than that, nothing much. The night was going perfectly fine until they went down that same alleyway she saw you in.

It's been almost a year now and the pang in her heart remains for some odd reason. She's tried everything to erase it but nothing seems to work.

The only way she's been able to cope is getting close with the new recruit in hopes she can imagine them as you.

This poor teenager is lovesick and there's nothing she can do about it, nothing she can do to settle her heart rate either.

Surely what she was doing is wrong? Leading a poor girl along just because yunas heart couldn't take the thought if not taking into your eyes again, just like before.

Yunas world is spinning, spinning so much so that she can barely see in front of her, but the figure of a girl walking their way had seemed to spark an interest in what was going on.

Upon closer inspection, her heart sank. It felt like her heart had been released from its cage, but it's still anchored down

Her eyes had gazed into yours, causing you to stop dead in your tracks, the memory of her running into you during a robbery. 

Oh right, a robbery. You shook your head and walked away. However, Yuna wasn't having any of it. Even in her drunk state of mind, she knew what to do, even if it didn't have the best outcome.

Yuna had rushed the playable girl along, telling her to go back to her house. She had followed like an obedient pet.

Once the lower class was out of sight, she had instinctively turned around and began to run after you.

She couldn't lose sight of you again, surely she couldn't.

Surely you felt some connection, something was there and it wasn't just the look you both gave each other.

[justnerdthings]

New Beginnings Ch. 8

Female reader x Liu Kang/Kung Lao

Liu Kang has spoken.

Liu had left you to rest in the infirmary. He was confident that you were going to be alright physically, mentally… But maybe not emotionally. Lao had gone too far last night. Stepping out of the infirmary, he sighed.

“How is she?” Lao asked, pushing himself off the wall. He’d been waiting outside.

“You went too far,” Liu told him, stepping out of the way of a passing monk. Liu watched Lao frown… really frown. Lao was genuinely feeling the guilt. “She’ll be fine… Physically,” Liu tried to reassure his brother.

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.”

Lao swallowed the lump in his throat.

“She asked me to keep you away from her. I think you should keep your distance for a while,” Liu told him.

Lao opened his mouth to protest, but seeing Liu’s serious expression made him close his mouth without a word. Lao nodded, agreeing to grant your wish.

“Give her a few days,” Liu reached out and placed a reassuring hand on Lao’s shoulder. “The monks want her to rest anyway. She deserves that much.”

“I wouldn’t have let her fall,” Lao admitted, futilely rubbing the guilt from his face.

“I know.” Liu gave his shoulder a small pat before he began walking down the hall. Lao walked with him.

“I left my hat in the sand. I would have teleported back there if it went wrong.”

“I know.” Liu nodded.

“She was right.”

Liu cocked a brow and glanced to him.

“I’m a fucking idiot.”

Liu grinned and looked back down the hall. “And an asshole.”

Lao sighed heavily. He really had been. “I really screwed this up, didn’t I?”

Liu nodded. “Just give her a few days,” he repeated.

.

Lao had kept his word. He didn’t bother you all day. In fact, you didn’t see him at all after meditation. Liu had talked him out of it every time Lao said that he wanted to see how you were doing--to apologize to you. Liu knew you weren’t ready to see him again. He’d never seen Lao so beat up over himself.

You didn’t go to lunch, and you hadn’t been there now at dinner. Liu watched as his brother idly pushed his food around his plate.

“You need to eat, Lao,” Liu told him.

“I am…” Lao didn’t bother to look up.

“No, you’re not. You’re just pushing your food around to make it look like you are.”

“Do you think she hates me?”

Liu sighed. He’d been dealing with Lao’s guilt all day. “Well, she’s certainly not fond of you at the moment.” He didn’t mean to say that as harsh as it came out. But it was true.

Lao’s jaw hardened and he put his chopsticks down. There was no point in pretending anymore. “Do you think if I told her that I had had a plan, that she wouldn’t be so angry?”

“I think if you go anywhere near her right now, I’ll break your arm,” Liu said impatiently, then pointed to Lao’s plate, not giving his brother even a glance. “Eat.”

Lao stared at his plate. He should eat. But he wasn’t hungry. He wasn’t very hungry at lunch either… or breakfast.

“If you don’t eat, I’ll shove eggrolls down your throat,” Liu threatened.

Lao grabbed his chopsticks. He lifted an eggroll and took a bite. Liu was serious, maybe not literally, but he would make Lao eat before he left the table. Lao hadn’t eaten all day.

“Just think of this as a lesson,” Liu told him before taking a bite of his own food.

Lao just gave a defeated grunt in response.

“I know you don’t like them,” Liu answered. With how close they were, he could decipher Lao’s grunts. “But you can’t skip this one like when we were children.”

Lao sighed in his defeat. He had had a habit of ditching classes when they were kids. The monks were just so boring. He just wanted to train and fool around. Liu never missed his classes though. You had been right earlier: Liu was the smart one.

“Your actions have repercussions,” Liu told him.

“Yeah, yeah…” Lao ran his fingers through his hair. “I get it.”

Liu nodded and continued eating.

“I really am sorry, though,” Lao admitted for the seventeenth time that day.

Liu nodded again. “I know, Lao.”

.

After dinner, Liu had forgone his evening meditation in favor of checking on you again. The monks had told him that you had been free to go since his last visit after breakfast, but you had opted to stay in the infirmary. Liu wondered why as he searched the makeshift hospital… Until he finally found you.

You were helping a warrior monk who, by the look of it, had injured his foot. Standing back and out of the way, he watched silently as you treated the monk.

“Does it hurt when I put pressure here?” You asked as you pressed gently on either side of his ankle. He let out a pained gasp and jerked his foot back in your hand. Yeah. That hurt. And you did too with his sudden movement, irritating your shoulders and back. You fought back a flinch of your own pain, pushing it out of your head. You nodded to him. “I’m sorry,” you apologized. The monk had trouble moving his foot. He’d explained just earlier that he’d rolled it while practicing a new fighting style. He had to have help getting to the infirmary, but he could put weight on it as long as he did so slowly. He had wobbled though when you’d asked him to demonstrate just a few minutes ago. You were pretty sure it was just a sprained ankle by now.

Letting his foot down ever so gently, you turned and rifled through the various cabinets until you found what you were looking for: compression wraps. You pulled over a stool and sat at his foot.

“Broken?” The monk asked, obviously not knowing much english. You grinned and shook your head as you carefully began to wrap his foot.

“No. Just a sprain,” you told him, happy for him. By the sound of him earlier, you were sure whatever he had been doing could have had the potential to break his ankle. You saw him nod his head out the corner of your eye. He flinched and jerked as you wrapped his ankle tight. “I’m sorry. Just a bit more,” you told him gently as you made sure to wrap it tight enough to give him the support he’d need, but not too tight.

You had finished in no time and secured the end of the wrap with the metal clasp. You carefully let his foot dangle off the gurney and stood, offering him both hands to help him stand. Despite the surge of pain it gave your shoulders and back, you helped support him as he put weight back on his foot. You could win an oscar for how well you hid your own pain, but this monk wouldn’t be winning any awards for his efforts. You frowned to him but helped him over to another monk--the one who helped him get to the infirmary. Looking to the injured one again, you pointed to his ankle. “Rest,” you told him, hoping he would understand. Seeing him nod, then bow graciously, you knew he did. You returned his bow as best you could without hurting your back too much and watched as his friend helped him down the hall.

That’s when you noticed Liu standing out of the way, watching you with a smile. Had he been standing there the whole time? Watching you? Your jaw clenched as you turned away to clean up, expecting him to tell you to rest yourself.

Liu watched as you tidied up. You were a nurse. Of course you looked so natural in this setting. This was you. His smile grew as he realised just how in your element you were. “You look better,” he said.

You scoffed a laugh. “I don’t feel it.”

Liu shook his head as he joined you. “I mean here.” He gestured broadly to the infirmary. You looked to him with bewilderment. “The infirmary. You look better here,” he said. “More natural.”

Oh. Yeah. You nodded and sighed, tossing your gloves into a waste bin. “Feels more natural here.”

“I noticed.”

You glanced at him, then turned to walk down the hall. He followed you. You could feel his eyes on you. “I like it here. Feels…” You struggled for the word.

“Normal?” Liu offered.

You stopped and turned to look at him. He understood you, didn’t he? You let a heavy breath go, as if relaxing for the first time since you’d gotten here. “I miss it,” you admitted.

He nodded. “I’m glad you’ve found something here you like. It must have been a culture shock that day.”

You laughed and let yourself back against a wall carefully, leaning on it to rest your back. “Understatement of the year,” you said. He smiled and stepped closer. Liu debated with himself for a moment. His eyes shifted to the floor, then to his prayer beads. You noticed. “What?” you asked.

He shook his head. “Nothing. How is your back?” He’d changed the subject.

“Still sore, Liu,” You repeated playfully from the other day. He laughed, catching it immediately. “But really, what?” you asked.

He hesitated, but seeing your pressing face, he caved. “Lao’s said he’s sorry.”

You rolled your eyes and rubbed your forehead. Not this again. “Please, don’t…” you begged.

Liu frowned. “I know. You don’t want to hear it.”

“I really don’t.”

“Just one more?”

“Fine. One.”

“I’ve never seen him this upset,” he’d admitted.

You didn’t know what to say. You didn’t know what to think. Last night you were sure you had seen Lao become embarrassed when you called him out on hiding feelings for you. Then this morning Liu had told you Lao had just been testing you. So which was it? Did Lao have feelings? Or could Lao also win an oscar? You rubbed your head again before letting your hand drop to your side. “I don’t want to think about him right now,” you said.

“Fair enough.” Liu nodded. “Do you feel up for a walk?”

“It doesn’t involve unnecessary routes, does it?”

He grinned and shook his head. “Not if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t,” you said, but pushed yourself away from the wall and walked for the infirmary door. Once you two were outside, you were surprised to see Liu offer his arm to you. He really was a gentleman, wasn’t he? You took it. He led you through the halls.

.

You two had walked the halls and Liu had regaled you with the history of Mortal Kombat. You were sure he knew everything about it. He studied it. He lived it. He breathed it. Liu led you to every mural the temple had and told you the story each one depicted. Even The Great Kung Lao’s. It made you uncomfortable at first, because you ended up being reminded of Lao, but you realized it wasn’t fair to this Kung Lao. They were two different people who just happened to have the same name… and same blood. You now grasped the importance of why Lao was so picky when it came to his future wife. You got it. It was important to him and his family. He was practically Mortal Kombat royalty.

Liu then brought you to the arena he was fond of. The one with the statute of Raiden. He told you the identity of the other statue. It was Raiden’s brother: Fujin, a wind god who had decided long ago to spend his time among mortals, much to Raiden’s displeasure. Liu told you all about Fujin, all about Raiden, all about the elder gods. You didn’t know what to think with all this information, but you were glad to finally have it.

You two had walked in silence after that. You weren’t sure if it was because Liu had finally tired of talking, or because he didn’t know what else to talk about. It was awkward at first, but quickly grew--… relaxing. Almost meditative. Not once did he lead you by any extraordinary views of the ravine. You could trust him, you knew that.

“I need to confess again,” he broke the silence. You turned your head to look up at his face as you two kept walking. He hesitated, as if rethinking his decision, but forced it out, “I have thought of you…”

Your legs stopped. You stared at him. You knew exactly what he was saying. You remembered last night’s fight at dinner. Lao teased Liu for feelings you weren’t sure he really had at the time. But now… He was confessing them to you. Okay, maybe Lao wasn’t deflecting. Maybe Liu had really been a victim himself last night in Lao’s attempts to rile you up. You swallowed the growing lump in your throat.

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same,” Liu said, avoiding your eyes.

You wouldn’t have lied if he’d asked if you had felt something, but you were grateful that he hadn’t asked. Did you? Yes. There was something there. But love? Lust? You weren’t sure. It was more just ‘trust’ right now. “I don’t know what to say,” you told him gently.

He shook his head and forced a smile to his face as he finally looked to you. “You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to let you know.”

You couldn’t help but frown. “Thanks…” That sounded stupid coming out of your mouth. You didn’t know what else to say. You tugged him along as you continued to walk, looking at the floor. Now the walk was awkward again.

“Are… are you sure it’s not just because I’m the only woman here?” You asked nervously. Maybe he was just confused. Honestly, how could anyone like you? You were a mess. And you weren’t even that pretty.

Liu’s brow wrinkled. That was such an odd question. But, he could understand what you were asking. The Order of Light was an order of monks. Just monks. There were no nuns here. And no other kombatants but you, him, and Lao. He got it. You must have felt vulnerable… maybe alone?

He frowned. “I admit, I don’t have much experience with women. Ever since I became a monk, I’ve been focused on training. I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable.”

“No… It’s not that. I just…” You sucked in a deep breath as your nerves fired up. “Just, I’m the only girl here. You sure you’re actually thinking of me?”

He turned his head to look at her in confusion.

“Like, I could have been anyone. What if I was some other girl? What if she was better than me? What if there were plenty of women here? Would you even notice me?”

Oh. Now it was clicking for him. He shook his head as if to protest, but didn’t say anything. Liu actually thought about it. “Maybe…” he finally answered. “If you were the only one with the mark, of course I’d notice you.” Wait. That wasn’t what he meant. He didn’t want to insult you. “I mean—”

“I get it,” you broke in. “It’s fine. I’m used to it.”

“No.” He stopped you gently and moved in front of you so you would look at him. “Hold on.” His jaw flexed as he tried to sort his thoughts into words. He wasn’t used to this at all. “If this temple had plenty of women, I’m sure I would notice you. Even if you didn’t have the mark. Even if you were just a quiet nun who never stood out.”

Your brows knotted in suspicion. You weren’t sure if he was just trying to make you feel better, or if he was just struggling to say what he felt.

He’d noticed your suspicion and pointed gently, accusingly to your face. “That,” he said. “Stop that. Listen to me. Not your head.”

You blinked at him. How did he know you were doubting him—

“When I saw you help brother Li back there, I saw exactly who you are. I saw exactly why Raiden was so set on saving you and bringing you here to train with us. I thought I’d seen it before, but I only had half of it. Maybe I still don’t see the whole reason, but I definitely see more of it,” He told you.

But what the hell was he talking about?

“You are amazing,” he said, catching you off guard. “I have seen hundreds of people--of monks try and fail to find themselves. And you just… You just are. I see you second, third, hundredth guess yourself every day, but when you’re in a situation that needs to be dealt with, you jump in and take it into your own hands. Last night? I couldn’t believe that you had caught Lao. I figured you would freeze up when the time came. That is huge. And Lao told me about the man you saved in a fire.” He stepped closer, keeping his eyes locked on yours, his shifting focus from one to the other. “What are you?” he asked, just so simply amazed with you.

“I’m… just a nurse,” you answered sheepishly.

“No. You’re not. Look at yourself. Really look at yourself. You don’t just risk your time to help people. You risk your life. I’m not trying to dismiss what nurses do. But most nurses don’t throw themselves over a cliff to save someone. They don’t run into fires without proper equipment. And what you did with brother Li? Y/N, you didn’t have to help him. There were plenty of infirmary monks that could have done that. You’re injured. You’re in pain. You should be resting, but you helped him anyway.”

“It was just a sprained ankle,” you tried to reason. “It was nothing.”

“What if it was something?”

“What?”

“What if it was an emergency? What if he was dying?”

“He wasn’t—”

“Humor me.”

“I…” Your jaw clenched. You knew what he was doing. Lao had done this several times. “I would have helped,” you admitted. “I would have had to.”

“You wouldn’t have had to.”

“I would have wanted to.”

He smiled to you. You were near tears and he reached up to hold your face gently in his warm hands. Liu’s dark eyes never left yours. “I know you don’t think of yourself as someone who deserves credit. I know you don’t expect to be appreciated for what you do. I know you feel like someone who doesn’t get noticed. Whether you think it’s because you’re not good enough, or you’re not strong enough, or because your head tells you lies about yourself…” Tears had started to trickle down your cheeks and his thumbs wiped them away. “So don’t ask me if I would ignore you if someone better was around. You’re going to be really hard to beat,” he said, smiling to you. And he meant it.

.

@ancientowlgirl @miss-nori85

[missskzbiased]

I Hate That I’m Afraid to Love You (10)

Genre: Romance, Friendship, Angst, Hurt /Confort , Suggestive, Fluff, College Au, Enemies to Friends to Lovers Au, REALLY Slow burn, Love Square (?)

Pairing: Hyunjin X Fem!Reader  X Han X OC

WC: ~ 4,7K

[Previous] [Chap] [Next]

Masterlist

Warnings (general*): Language, Mentions of (Physical abuse, Death/ Loss of Loved One, Child Abandonment/Neglect, Divorce, Toxic Parents, Cancer, Mental disorder, Anxiety Attack, Alcohol, Food), Suggestiveness (?)

Updates: Tuesdays [Today I’m posting it a little bit earlier just because] [Also, I have up to chap 12 written but I’ve been blocked/busy to write. I already started chap 13 but the updates may be changed in the future]

Tagging: @aliceu @thatrandomoneinthecorner  @channiewoo

                                               /////

     “Holy Shit!” You sputtered, stumbling over your feet.

      Chan’s arm immediately wrapped around your waist, steading you as you tried to support yourself on the wall; eyes wide like saucers and mouth agape, utterly surprised by the scene you ran into so early in the morning. Hyunjin rubbed his eyes, dragged steps trying to bring him to the living room to check what startled you and Chan that much.

    “Holy shit!” He blurted out, suddenly looking awake. You would have laughed at him in other circumstances but right now you could only focus on Paris and Han sleeping together on the couch. Their bodies were covered with a thick blanket, and you could only hope for them to be fully dressed under there.

    Actually, that was kind of cute.

    As soon as the shock dissolved, you took in the scene. Though the blanket didn’t allow you to see much, you assumed Paris was lying right on top of Han, head resting on the crook of his neck. She nuzzled him, nose rubbing against his neck, which made him squirm a little bit, humming as he adjusted himself, probably hugging her under the sheets. You gave them a small smile, looking at Chan and Hyunjin with soft eyes.

    “Don’t look at me like this, you’re going to clean that couch if his butt touched my cushion” Chan hissed, arms untangling from your waist. He made his way to the kitchen, looking for something to eat “We don’t have anything for breakfast…” He sighed, looking at Hyunjin.

    “I didn’t think about it” He shrugged, and Chan pursed his lips, nodding in disappointment.

    “Of course you didn’t” He rolled his eyes, straightening himself and closing the refrigerator “I guess I’ll order something before we wake them up” He looked at you in doubt, wondering if it was a good plan. You frowned, looking at him in shock.

    “Why the fuck you’re going to order breakfast? Are you nuts?” You scoffed, studying your outfit. Sweatpants and an oversized T-shirt. Good enough to go get some stuff “I’m going to buy something real quick” You offered, heading to the door.

    “By yourself?” Hyunjin asked surprised. You arched your brow, looking at him in question “No, I mean… Shouldn’t one of us go with you? Actually, just let us order something, it’ll be way easier” He rambled. You sighed, rolling your eyes before looking at Chan.

     “I’ll be back in a min—“ Your answer was abruptly cut off by a startled Paris. She shrieked, floundering to lift her body, completely embarrassed by the situation. You assumed her attempt to lift her body wasn’t really gentle to Han’s torso, because he shut his eyes open, coughing and trying to move, startled by whatever was happening, which just served to drop Paris to the ground.

    She ended up dragging the blanket with her, uncovering Han to display a fully dressed boy with a damn hangover. He shoots his hand to his eyes, covering them in an attempt to make the light less painful, uncovering the next second to check what was the soft thud followed by a whine that reached his ears. He lifted himself just a little bit, looking to the ground, being greeted by a huge blanket covering something unknown to him.

    “What the actual fuck?” He muttered, covering his eyes again, trying to sit up. The whine came right away. He curled himself on the couch, bringing his knees closer to his chest and holding his head as he rested his forehead on his knee, utterly done with the day.

    Paris wasn’t much better.

    She got rid of the blankets, upset by her fall, a frown carved on her face. She cupped her temples, lips quirking down, another whine leaving her lips as she probably realized she had a hangover. She mimicked Han, curling up and shielding her eyes from the light.

    “Everything good?” You checked, and both of them hissed at you, complaining you were too loud. You sighed, looking at Chan “Do you happen to have some med?” You asked, feeling too young to be the mother of both of your friends. You glanced over at them, snorting as you studied their exact same antics, finding it kind of amusing.

   Chan made his way back to his room, going to look for some pills, and you stood there watching Han and Paris whining like kids. You chuckled before looking at Hyunjin, who seemed quite amused at the situation himself. You approached him, nudging his side.

   “They’re so gonna die of embarrassment later” You grinned, and this time he giggled, nodding and crossing his arm.

    “I’m not going to let them live it down” He promised.

                                                              ////

    “Well, that’s all for today” Mr.Lee announced, standing up before looking around the class. You closed your notebook, shoving it into your bag like everybody else, hoisting your bag over your shoulder to get up but sitting back as Mr.Lee raised his hand, asking silently for all of you to stay a little bit more “Before you all go, I want to ask for feedback about your essay. As you may know, it was the first time I gave you an essay like this, so… Well, I guess I want to hear you out”    

    “I think it was pretty invasive” Someone raised their hand, stiffly exposing their opinion “Also, we could have more time… It’s not exactly easy to put all your life in someone’s hand when you don’t know them” You nodded in agreement. Although you had ended up with Paris and Hyunjin, you could imagine how hard it was for the groups who didn’t know each other.

    Embarrassing, to say the least.

    “I agree” Someone else raised their hand, boldly crossing their arms right after, a challenging look across their face “How were we supposed to give all our lives to someone to discuss when we didn’t even know this person? We had two weeks to know one another… It’s not like we can just trust people like this” It was a good point. You looked at Mr.Lee, who hummed, nodding at the input.

   “I’ll admit that this was one of my goals” He said, thoughtfully grabbing his chin “The whole point was to put all of you on the spot, just like a patient feels when they go to therapy. I understand it’s hard… Also, in therapy, you have the law beside you stating the psychologist can’t spread your life around… But the vulnerability itself was my point” He seemed pleased with their discomfort, and you couldn’t help but chuckle.

   You never felt as vulnerable as you felt talking about yourself and your family issues with Paris. If that was the whole point, he did an amazing job embarrassing you all. You looked at Paris, narrowing your eyes as you pondered his arguments. Indeed, even if she was a “psychologist” to the project, she also had to put her story in both your hand and Hyunjin’s, so she was on spot too, even if she didn’t need to discuss it with you.

    There was no one to be saved there.

   “Let me ask you this… How many of our fake psychologists think they had a positive impact on your group?” He looked around and so did you. Some people raised their hands, including Paris, who smiled proudly, chest puffed out “Now, how many of you think that impact could replace a real therapy?” You looked around again.

    Not one hand raised.

    “Good, good” He said softly, nodding in approval “You aren’t psychologists and therapy is way different than this activity. I want you guys to understand that it’s hard to open up and you, as a psychologist, won’t be the only one studying what is right in front of you… Patients are logical and judging human beings like all of us. They can and will study you” He walked around, hands to his back, watching all of you “They know you are analyzing them and they will choose you based on something. It can be your empathy, it can be your responsiveness to them, it can be the apparent lack of judgment… It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that none of you are better than them, and the sooner you realize it, the better”

    You took in everything he said.

     He was good.

     “Lastly, who would consider going to a therapist after all the debates you guys did for this project?” You raised your hand immediately, looking around to see if anyone else would raise their hands. To your surprise, a lot of people did, such as Hyunjin, who didn’t seem too comfortable to raise it fully in the air, shyly letting his hand hover over his lowered head.

     Your eyes met Paris, hands rested on her lap.

     Really?

    Mr.Lee finally waved his hands dismissively, allowing all of you to go. You got up again, followed by Paris and Hyunjin – and all of your classmates, eager to just go anywhere else –, hoisting your bag over your shoulder and heading to the stairs. You risked a glance at Paris before clearing your throat.

    “No therapist?” You asked curiously, and she gave you an amused look, chuckling.

     “Why? Do you think I need it or something? I think I’m pretty well by myself” She sounded placid, her face totally at ease, as if she didn’t give much thought to your question. You shrugged casually studying your surroundings before returning your gaze to her.

     “Well, we all need someone to talk to” You said hesitantly, and she eyed you weirdly, ready to confront you. Before she could say anything, though, Hyunjin joined the conversation. He had a teasing smirk adorning his lips, a mischievous glint on his eyes warned both of you about his intentions.

     “She already has someone, right, Paris?” She rolled her eyes, groaning and throwing her head back as if she could ask God to take him away at any moment now “I just don’t know if they talk much… I’m sure as hell they cuddle a lot, though” You chuckled, shaking your head amused by him. Paris blushed, gaze fixed on the ground.

    “She won’t even say anything! I guess she just fell like this” You joked, getting an approving nod from Hyunjin. He looked proudly at you, glad to know you were going to join him in annoying her “I’ve heard you and Han have a project together this week” You grinned, making her scoff and push you lightly, holding the strap of her bag tightly before looking at you.

    “Yeah, I kinda told you that yesterday” She pointed out sarcastically “Really, guys… Will you ever let it go? I was drunk” She gave you her puppy eyes, which normally would have some effect on you but not today. You chuckled, nudging her too, smirking as you saw her pointed look at you, grumpily waiting for whatever you had to say.

  “Please!” You rolled your eyes “Even in your drunkest days you never woke up on top of me!” You accused, and she groaned again, clutching her cheeks and pulling them down. Hyunjin chuckled at her reaction before nudging her, pointing ahead to the stairs.

   “Oh, look! Boyfriend is waiting for you” He teased, pointing to Han, who waited for you on the stairs, nervously gripping his backpack’s straps. Paris shouted to get his attention out of habit, which just intensified your teasing until you got next to him. You and Hyunjin smirked at him as soon as you reached him, throwing him a suggestive look.

    “What’s up?” He tried to break the ice, blushing as his eyes darted between you and Paris before setting on Hyunjin “Is he going to stick with us from now on?” He asked displeased, and you were prepared to send Hyunjin away so you could head to the dining hall but Hyunjin interrupted you before you could say it.

    “Rude” He pointed out “As far as I remember, you came along to my house, and I even let you sleep on my couch with my girl” He joked. You and Paris chuckled, though she whined right after, knowing she wouldn’t be able to live it down so soon. Han seemed to blush harder─ which didn’t seem even possible─ and cleared his throat before grimacing at Hyunjin.

    “First of all, She’s not your girl” His tone was kinda threatening, and you had to fight back a smile as you glanced at a blushing Paris beside you “And what was I supposed to do? Let them with a dick like you?” He challenged, puffing his chest and trying to look more intimidating. Hyunjin scoffed at him, looking down at his eyes and grimacing.

   “I wasn’t the one who woke up drunk with someone on the couch” He sneered, stepping ahead to approach him, getting just a few inches away from Han “I don’t think you’re in any position to call me a dick” You darted your eyes between the two boys, worried. The tension built up to the point the four of you got silent, looking warily to each other, swallowing dry and clearing your throats once in a while.

    “You know what? We’re getting late to our lunch with Chan” You blurted out, locking your arm with Hyunjin’s, who gave you an astonished look. You gave a tight smile to your friends, ignoring the distressed look you got from Han and the confused frown Paris shot your way “See you guys later! Bye!” You waved your hand, dragging Hyunjin along with you hurriedly.

    “I’m sorry but what the fuck?!” Hyunjin looked at your arms locked, brows knitting together as he looked at them incredulously “I don’t recall Chan saying anything about a lun—“ You glanced back to make sure Paris and Han wouldn’t be looking at you, dropping his arm and interrupting him immediately.

    “I don’t want you guys to fight” You waved dismissively “Also, it’s better if they got some alone time together, don’t you think?” You snorted. He hummed in agreement, straightening up and peeking at you.

   “So… Where are we going to eat?” He asked curiously, shoving his hands on his pockets casually, tilting his head to observe you.

   “What do you mean?” You scoffed, arching your brows amused. He rolled his eyes, gesturing to the dining hall impatiently.

   “Well, Chan didn’t invite us to eat so I’m assuming you’ll eat somewhere else since your friends will be there” He wagged his hand, looking at you as if you were dumb. You nodded slowly, realizing he was right.

   “I didn’t really think it through” You admitted “I can go anywhere else, that’s not a problem… One day won’t make such a difference to my final budget” You shrugged, and he nodded back, uncomfortable. You arched your brow, nodding your head in question.

   “So… That’s it” He raised his hand to wave you goodbye, stiffly standing in front of you “See you around” And that being said, both of you parted your ways.

                                                                      ////

    Wednesday was a lonely day.

    By now, you were used to having lunch by yourself and go back home to enjoy your few hours before your shift. You always treasured these two hours. It was the time you had to stay in silence, peacefully laid down on your bed, or stressfully trying to put up with your assignments.

    Usually, you didn’t open the door to find Paris and Han on the couch, though.

    “Oh?” You let out, clearly confused. Han held the guitar to his torso, looking down to the strings as he thought about something, humming as he heard Paris mumble. They raised their heads slowly, looking at you froze on the doorframe “I didn’t know you were going to be here… I just came to…” Your eyes wandered around the room, spotting your book on the table “To pick this up” You walked over to the table, smiling awkwardly before getting your book.

    “You’re going out?” Paris asked surprised. Of course, she did. She knew you liked to stay in your room at this time, even if she wasn’t home. You always beamed about your alone time on Wednesdays. You took quick steps to the door, nodding before your eyes roamed around the room, struggling to focus on them and hide your nervousness.

    “Hm… Yeah! I’m actually… I’m meeting up a friend” You stumbled around your words, letting out a fake giggle “To… Lend him this!” You raised your book, finally finding something to say “He asked me this book and I totally forgot to take it with me! Yep! That’s right” You smiled proudly, waving at them “Bye! Take your time together! See you later” You said as you closed the door behind you.

    You stood there in front of the door, blinking a few times before letting a sigh out. God, you were horrible at lying! You glanced at the door, holding the book close to your chest and ready to go to the only place you could go now that you expelled yourself from your room: The garden. You absolutely loved to lay there on the grass, watching as squirrels and birds passed by, afraid to get close to you.

    You let out a sigh.

    Definitely not your plan for the day but it would work.

    You made your way to your destination, calmly walking through the halls ─looking at the garden as you walked beside the arches, hand sliding through the baluster as you felt the soothing breeze huff your face ─, watching the green grass and the yellow flowers that you liked so much. You smiled as you watched a squirrel pick up something from the ground, quickly moving to hide it somewhere else. When it reached the tree it was aiming at, your eyes fell upon the guy who was resting there.

    It was Hyunjin.

    He seemed absorbed in his book, which was pretty surprising as you never pictured him as the reader type. Especially not an under-the-tree-reader kind of a guy. He was laid down on the grass, earbuds on and backpack supporting his head; one leg bent while the other one was straight, giving him a relaxed and composed look. As the treetop danced around with the wind, the filtered sunbeam danced around him too, making it look like there was the perfect spot to read a book.

    You averted your eyes to look around the place, noticing a few more people than usual hanging there. It wasn’t hard to notice most of them were girls simply admiring him while he was reading, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. As soon as you went down the stairs, finally getting to the grass, you made your way to him, ignoring the few pointed looks you received.

    “Hey, Hyunjin” You called but he didn’t answer.

    He must be really focused on his reading to not listen to your calling. You shadowed him, which appeared to get his attention, his startled eyes raising from the book to look at you. He took one of his earbuds out, hand hovering beside his ear as he held it, looking confused at you.

   “What are you doing here?” He asked surprised, raising his torso and sitting on the grass. He lifts his chin to look straight into your eyes, and you chuckled at his response.

    “Should I send you a warning every time I come to a public place?” You asked jokingly, and he let out a chuckle of his own, shaking his head in amusement. He closed his book mindlessly and you couldn’t help but be in stitches as you realized what happened right before your eyes.

    His phone slid from the book, and even though you couldn’t hear it, you could see the Drama playing on his screen. You covered your mouth, trying to muffle your laugh, and his eyes shot to his phone, cursing under his breath as he quickly took the phone from the ground, shoving it into his pocket. You pinched the bridge of your nose, squatting as you tried to recompose yourself, pointing out to his pockets.

    “I can’t…” You had to stop, gasping for air as you let another fit of laughter slip from your lips “… Believe you’re pretendi—“ Before you could end your sentence his hand shot to your mouth, cupping it. He jolted forwards, his other hand reaching for your nape so you wouldn’t go away from his grip and keep talking.

    “Shhh” He hissed, widening his eyes in a silent warning. You looked into his eyes, studying them until he realized what he was doing, letting go of you immediately. He looked away for a moment, seeming embarrassed before he shot you a smug look “Did you miss me or something?” He teased, and you rolled your eyes before sitting on the grass, legs crossed.

    “Yeah, that must be it” You scoffed, bracing yourself on your thighs “So…” You drew out, smirking as he looked at you annoyed, sensing you would mock him “Why are you here pretending to read… Political Science stuff?” You ended up confused, fixing the book so you could read its title.

    “Well, I’m a Political Science student” He pointed out as if it was obvious. You grimaced, flicking his book before nodding.

   “So you kinda should read it for real, hm?” You gave him a tight smile, and he snorted, nodding in agreement.

    “Okay, that’s fair enough” He shrugged “Just in case some Professor goes by… You know, I have to look smart to keep up my better-than-you facade” He smirked, expecting you to retort him or something but you just rolled your eyes again and pushed him lightly.

    “If you have the time to look like you’re better than me, you should start studying for real” You suggested, and this time he was the one who scoffed, tilting his head to the side before grinning obnoxiously.

    “Then I’d be way better than you and it would be too easy” He teased, grinning dissolving when you threw your head back groaning, making mention to get up. He grabbed your wrist, laughing “No, no, no! I’m kidding! I’m kidding!” He giggled, and you looked at him with narrowed eyes before settling back on the grass.

    “Well, what are you doing here after all?” You asked curiously, waving dismissively to his apologetic eyes. You liked to spend your time in the garden, so you’d know if he hung around your garden like this… You didn’t recall seeing him even once.

    “I come here on Wednesdays… I’m just waiting for my classes” He shrugged “What about you? I never saw you around here” He eyes you curiously, and you chuckled, hands going to the ground as you leaned slightly back, supporting yourself, straightening your legs.

    “I was going to rest before work but Paris and Han are at the dorms, so I figured I should leave them alone” You said, looking at him with a small smile. Hyunjin furrowed his brows, tilting his head to the side, confused. He waited for you to continue but you didn’t, so he frowned, deciding to speak up.

    “Okay?” He said warily “What about it?” You looked at him as if he needed a new brain, snorting before nudging him with your foot.

   “Well, They like each other so –“ Hyunjin interrupted you by chortling, looking at you as if you were a confused kid, fondly mocking you without a word. You tilted your head, confused by his reaction, waiting for his explanation.

    “You’re kidding, right?” He chuckled, looking at any signs of amusement on your face, which he didn’t find “No! Seriously?! It’s so damn obvious he likes you!” He seemed surprised by your obliviousness, and you laughed at his delusional self, shaking your head in amusement.

    “You’re crazy! He likes Paris for like… Years!” You retorted, rolling your eyes “Where did you even get that from?” You scoffed, and this time he leaned forward, legs crossed and hands fisting the grass lightly.

   “No, look… I’m sorry to break it to you but he likes you” He repeated himself, and you looked away in disbelief “No! Really! He doesn’t like Paris! Just think for a moment, Y/N! Why would he even come to punch me for thinking I made you cry?” He looked distressed, totally taken aback by the fact that you didn’t agree with him.

    “He’s my friend! Of course, he would get upset if he thought someone made me cry!” You rolled your eyes “He stands up for me and Paris all the time. It’s called friendship, Hyunjin” He scoffed, looking away before grimacing at you.

   “Okay, and why was he all riled up when we ate the hot dog that night?” He challenged. You frowned. Well… Apart from his worries about Hyunjin in general, Han didn’t really have a reason to get so upset “See? Deep down you know I’m right” He smiled triumphantly.

   “He acts differently when he’s around Paris” You retorted, crossing your arms. He rolled his eyes, sighing “I mean it! Did you see how he acts beside her?” You insisted eagerly.

   “Please… He acts differently when he’s around you” He arched his brows, as if to make his point, “That’s how he acts around you! Have you ever seen how he act around her when you’re not around? I mean it. He likes you.” He was serious, and for a moment you couldn’t take his words out of your mind.

   Was that how he acts around you not her?

   “Anyway… I don’t even know why I’m trying to make you understand it” He shrugged “It’s none of my business” He sighed, arching one brow, studying your flabbergasted expression “Though I think I made my point” He chuckled, and you shook your head.

   “No, you didn’t!” You blurted out; too eager “He likes her! He has to” You decided, settling with your previous beliefs “She likes him, you heard it yourself! And I’m sure he likes her back… They just need some alone time to get together” He sighed in defeat, giving up on the idea. As you prepared to get up, wondering where you should go to rest, he tilted his head, grabbing your wrist again. You looked down at him, and he bit his lips in doubt before speaking up.

   “Do you want to watch it together?” He asked, taking his phone out of his pocket “You can read your book too if you prefer… The tree is big enough for both of us” He smiled friendly, and you had to smile back. It was the first time he was being friendly without any suggestive or teasing remarks attached.

   “I’d love to” You nodded, crawling to the tree trunk, leaning against it. He laid down again, resting his head on his backpack and giving up on pretending to be studying, raising his phone right up his eyes, so he would be watching it in peace. You opened your book, prepared to re-read it since you had actually read it over the weekend, noticing as he glanced at you.

   “Is that book this good for you to prefer reading it instead of watching something?” He asked cautiously, and you smirked at him.

   “Yes, it is… I think you should try it” You offered, and he scoffed.

   “No way, I’m going to watch my Drama” He rolled his eyes.

   “We watch it together and then you read my book” You suggested “Then you have to be sincere about it! You can’t just decide your drama was better without trying to read it!” You looked at him accusingly, and he chuckled.

   “What is on for me?” He asked smugly, and this time you rolled your eyes to him.

   “The shame of being so wrong throughout your life that you should hide under a rock” You grimaced, making him laugh “Or maybe I’m the one who should hide under a rock…” You let the sentence hanging in the air, and he smiled confidently.

   “Deal” He agreed. You closed the book, resting it on his stomach as you laid down, resting your head on your hand, elbowing the grass.

[lalahbug]

Guidance - Zuko x Reader Chapter 3

Fandom: Avatar the Last Airbender Word Count: 4,140

My Masterlist

Warnings/disclaim: General Author’s Note:  under story ___ is a blank for your name/oc/whatever you prefer Written in 3rd person Line/header is to separate paragraphs to indicate time skips, as Tumblr hates my formatting. 

Story under cut, 3 of 8, Guidance Masterlist

         ___ and Zuko had stayed and helped everyone in the village for about two weeks. The Long’s seemed like they’d be okay without any more outside help with Reo being grown. Fay had an infection that ___ was able to heal. But today was their last day, as ___ went to say her farewells to everyone, letting them know she may not be coming back, moving to another area. The farewells were long and sorrowful for the villagers, but ___’s smile never

         While the time there was full of learning and hard work, Zuko couldn’t be more pleased with his progress in being helpful to his girlfriend. He even earned the pendant from Himari, which was safely hidden in his backpack, identical to ___’s. They got money and supplies for both of them to be on the road for a while. Even sold Gray to the Long’s to ensure they wouldn’t need to worry about the feed.            As permanent goodbyes wrapped up, Zuko took ___’s hand and started to walk beneath the afternoon sun.            After walking for a while, Zuko could feel the earth vibrating beneath him, and from the glance, he stole at ___’s face, he could tell she felt the same movements. She pulled him into nearby bushes before looking up at the sky with a shocked expression.            Zuko followed her eyesight to see the Avatar’s bison falling out of the sky before crashing to the ground, all the happiness he’d felt for the past few weeks was muted as he glared at the group of kids in front of him.            The squeeze on his hand brought him out of his stupor. He glared at her for a moment before seeing the confusion and worry in her eyes, dropping his own to the ground.            ___ pulled him a little further away from the gang as the girls started to fight. Before whispering to him.            “The ground is still trembling, whatever it is, it’s not an animal. It’s likely a machine, do you have any idea what it could be?”            Zuko thought for a moment thinking of the weapons of war at the Fire Nations disposal. What would they send after the Avatar now that Zhao was gone?            “Azula.”            “Okay. So, your sister is behind this but I doubt she’s the machine. But it’s likely a Fire Nation vehicle of some sort. We should lie low and wait to figure out our next move.“            “What do you mean wait and figure it out? There’s my chance of getting back home.” He gestured to the Avatar.            The anger and pain that stroked across ___’s face alone almost sent him reeling. She pressed her fingertips to her temples rubbing them exhaling angrily.          “I could go home; we could live in peace and luxury.” Zuko pleaded with her now.            “What peace?” She spat. “Your peace of home meaning the suffering and deaths of more innocent people, especially if the Avatar is gone or locked up or whatever you plan to do if you happen to catch him.”            “Me going home and earning my honor and the throne back means one day, I could end the war and release the Avatar too.”            ___ stood up fuming at his selfishness and ignorance. She closed her eyes tightly trying to not explode at her love. She knew he still didn’t know who he was, he still felt the need to prove himself to his toxic family.            “Please, ___. Come with me, don’t leave me.” His second plea broke her heart and tears started to fall.            “This is wrong Zuko.” She cried softly before cupping his torn expression in her hands. “But I’m here, to love and guide you, just please,” she begged. “Promise me, Aang doesn’t die, and try to surprise me with the goodness I know is within you.”            Zuko hugged her tightly. It felt so right and wrong to be able to keep his understanding girlfriend in his corner no matter what. But he didn’t have the strength to leave her behind and be alone again.           “I promise.”

         They followed after Azula on her mongoose-lizard, Zuko wanted to ignore the small glances his love kept giving him, but a sense of worry she had made him not say anything.            Reaching a small abandoned town, Azula and Aang were talking. ___ took off her backpack and stretched her arms.            “What are you doing?” Zuko questioned while discarding his bag and putting it next to hers.            “Making sure my shoulders aren’t stiff, we’re about to fight, it’ll be better if I’m limber.”            “No,” Zuko hissed, putting his hands on her shoulders. “This is my fight; I just need you here emotionally. I know you can protect yourself and you’re an amazing fighter. But Azula can shoot lighting, and the moment she realizes that you’re with me, she would use you against me in no more than a blink of an eye.”            ___ glared at the dirt, knowing what he said was true. “Fine, but if I think you or Aang needs help, I will be there. This may be your fight but I won’t allow either of you to die.”            Zuko knew that was the only way he’d get her to stay put and decided to not argue her stipulation.            “Okay,” he agreed before kissing her gently. “Stay here as long as you can.” She nodded and with that Zuko ran off towards the brewing battle.            Hiding between two old buildings, ___ watched them fight. Zuko was right about one thing. The only thing he truly knows is fighting and he fought with bewitching smoothness. She could barely look away. But she had to, to keep an eye on Aang as well.            She was getting tense as the fight went on, when Zuko fell on his back, she was about to rush over when she saw Iroh and the rest of the Avatar’s friends show up. She knelt, watching intently, closer to the opening of the alley, unknowingly inching out again and again.            But her twitching feet moved towards the group quickly as Azula struck Iroh with lighting. Rushing to his side she quickly started to try and heal Iroh, the explosion behind her barely registered in her mind as she focused on the glow.            ___ glanced at Zuko as he kneeled next to her, the distressed look he had was twisting his face. Katara tried to speak but he lashed fire at them telling them to leave.            After a few more tries at healing Iroh, she let her hands drop. “I’m sorry I can’t do better,” she whispered to Zuko. “I’m just an average healer.”              He didn’t reply, he just focused on Iroh’s face which seemed to relax a bit.           She patted Zuko’s shoulder tenderly before getting together materials around them to shape a gurney to carry Iroh.

         The next morning Iroh awoke and Zuko explained what happened, but ___ was asleep in the corner exhausted from healing, cleaning, and cooking. While Zuko watched over Iroh.            “Who is this?” Iroh gestured to the sleeping figure in the corner, with a gentle smile.            “Oh, um,” Zuko blushed softly. “That’s ___, she healed you a bit before helping me carry you here. She’s my girlfriend.”            “She’s a waterbender? From the North Pole?” Zuko nodded. “Why isn’t she home, safe from the war?”            Zuko took a deep breath before explaining her story and including her trip to the spirit world.            “She must feel conflicted being with a man who believes he needs to capture the Avatar.”            “Yes, but somehow, she loves me and supports me nonetheless. She just asked me to promise that Aang doesn’t die. And that I surprise her with the good she knows I have. She seems to know something about, that she isn’t sharing. Like she knows the cause of my internal conflict.”            “Hmm, she is wise and has been through a deal herself. It would be unwise of you to doubt statements that come from her.” Iroh eyed her for a moment, silently thanking her for being there for Zuko. “She looks exhausted, you should lie her down properly. Sitting up to sleep isn’t very restful.”            Zuko nodded and got up to lay down a blanket on the ground before laying her down carefully. He stared at her rested features for a while, something he’d grown to love doing and accustomed to.            “What is that delicious smell?” Iroh chimed.            “___ made some soup and prepared some tea, before passing out. Would you like to try both?”            “Of course!”            Zuko stroked ___’s cheek gently before standing up and getting some soup and tea for himself and his uncle.  

           ___ hummed softly to herself, trying to wake up, but the comfort of sleep tried to lull her. Huffing out softly she forced her eyes open and sat up, to find she was alone. Curling up softly from her makeshift bed. “Zuko must have laid me down,” she whispered with a smile playing on her lips.             Stretching and getting up, she headed outside to find her love. Only to see him and his uncle doing movements like waterbenders. She raised an eyebrow at it before turning to make tea for all of them.  

         A few weeks had passed and they were now in Misty Palms Oasis. Zuko was waiting for his uncle to come out of a room, leaning against some wall. ___ was softly sketching some of the flowers in the room before glancing over at Zuko, noticing he looked more sullen than usual.            “Babe?” She called out softly. “You okay?”            “I’m fine, just bored of waiting,” he huffed.            She walked over and stood in front of him. “Are you a bit upset because it’s members-only?”            He huffed softly, not giving her a yes or no, but a soft smile spread across her lips, and he knew she’d figured it out. She pulled his arms free from the cross they’d been in. Pulling him into her arms and resting her head on his shoulder.            He sighed before wrapping his arms around her securely. “You know me too well.”            “I just pay attention. If you want, we can hug for a while.”            He cleared his throat, “um actually…” he trailed off.            She pulled back a bit to see a faint flush on his cheeks. “Oh, sorry did I make you uncomfortable?”            “What? No, no. I actually would like to sit down, with you, in my lap.” He mumbled the last words. ___ heard him clearly though and stepped back so he could position himself on the floor.            She debated mentally how to sit in his lap without making him nervous. Zuko sighed a bit, seeing her apprehension, and grabbed her hand to tug her down to him. He didn’t say anything but kept adjusting her until she was sideways with her shoulder to his chest and legs spilling over the side of his thigh. Pulling her into another embrace, she rested her head on his shoulder.            “We were sitting like this, sort of, while riding Gray, when we became boyfriend and girlfriend.”            “Maybe that’s why I wanted to hold you like this. It brings back good feelings.”            “The main difference is now; we both know that we love each other.”            “I still don’t know why you love me,” Zuko mumbled.            She sighed softly, “it’s been hard for me to explain, I keep telling you that. But I have been thinking about it and I think I might have it now.” Clearing her throat, a bit before cuddling into him more. Drawing light circles on his chest with her fingers.            “You accept me for me. I don’t have to hide. You let me be myself, no matter how sassy or hard-headed I am. It feels amazing to be loved by you. And I see how you’ve had to fight to learn and succeed, but you never give up. I believe in you so much, because I know whatever comes at you, you won’t give up. You’re smart and thorough. And I just have this wonderful feeling when I’m with you. I feel at peace, without even meditating. Like I can just trust you, I could lie my life in your hands, and know you’d do everything to keep me because you actually want me as I am.”            Zuko’s heart was hammering, he’d been wanting this answer for so long, and now that he had it, he was grateful and speechless. He could feel himself tremble with the passion and love she confessed to him. He pushed her up a bit before pressing his lips to her forehead tenderly before invading her lips and mouth. Earning a softly moan from her, his hand traveled up to the back of her neck. Tilting her head back and deepening the kiss, she pulled back softly with a pant.            “I love you, ___.”            “I love you, too.”            While staring into each other’s eyes the door to the room Iroh was in opened, causing both of them to jump and sort themselves into an upright position.            “Sorry to interrupt your moment but we’re ready to go.” Iroh chuckled at the young adults’ flushed cheek.            "Everything is taken care of,” stated Iroh’s friend.            "Where are we going?” ___ asked.            “We’re heading to Ba Sing Se!”            “Ba Sing Se? Why would we go to the Earth Kingdom capital?” Zuko demanded.            “The city is full of refugees. No one will notice 3 more.” The friend chimed.            "We can hide in plain sight,“ Iroh said with hope.            “I’ve got my passport; I’d just need to buy a ticket. But what about both of you?”            “Don’t worry about it, my dear. Our good friends have provided us with 3 passports and tickets. Mushi, Lee Jr, and ___. My dear nephew and his wife. I didn’t know your last name so I gave us all the same one.” Iroh laughed as Zuko started to blush at the word wife.            Iroh knew of Zuko’s small secret, the engagement pendant he had, and kept hidden at all costs from ___.            “Uncle, you can’t just expect us to act married!”            “You’re already dating, just be more open about it. It’ll be fine!” Iroh smiled lovingly at the two, as Zuko just burned more.            “I don’t think it’s a big deal. If anyone we don’t know ask, we’ll just say we’re together, no reason to give them a label. I doubt anyone will care about our last names or status, other than employers, maybe. We’ll be safe, that’s what matters.”            Her complete disregard of the situation as she calmly picked up their bags, dumbfounded Zuko while Iroh chuckled at the sight.

         Walking through the streets of Ba Sing Se, while Iroh held a potted plant which Zuko was giving an annoyed glare.            “We have a lady with us, we should spruce up our place!”            “Iroh, that’s so sweet of you, but you don’t need to spend money for my sake. Let’s just settle and do our best.”            “I don’t want to make a life here.” Zuko spat.            “Life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not!” Iroh chided.            ___ grabbed Zuko’s hand and entwined their fingers. “Hey, at least we’re all together and we’re safe. Right?”            Zuko stopped his moping for a moment before smiling at her softly. “Right.”

         A week or so had passed while the three of them worked diligently at the tea shop Iroh got them jobs at. Zuko had been less expressive in his emotions other than anger, ___ tried talking to him, but he wouldn’t open up.            Zuko was working in the back with his uncle while ___ waited on tables and brought back orders for them.            “Another jasmine tea, please!” She called out before placing a note on the counter with the order and table number.            Iroh chuckled as she seemed to be enjoying herself. “She really loves to help and serve; I find it admiral.” Iroh placed a previous order of tea on the counter with the corresponding note.            “Lee, I don’t mean to pry. But it feels as though you’ve been avoiding her lately. Even though she doesn’t bother you or voice her worry anymore. It’s very easy to see under the façade she’s using in public.”            Zuko huffed and glanced up at ___ who was talking with customers and taking orders. She looked happy without him.            “I can’t place how I’m feeling, but when I see her like this, it makes me angrier.”            Iroh looked over at ___, although she seemed happy if one paid attention along enough. They would see the way she shot glances of wariness at Zuko and the soft sigh she’d exhale on the way up to the counter.            “I think if you watched her, the way she watches you, that anger might dissipate,” Iroh whispered to Zuko as she approached them.            “It’s so busy. I blame you, Mushi,” she expressed with a fake sigh but a small smile followed afterward.            “Doing what I love and giving great tea to others is not something I’ll apologize for!” Iroh smiled back at the young woman.            “Babe?” ___ called out to Zuko.            “What?” he looked up from his task to meet her worried eyes.            “Are you okay? Do you need to take a break? We could take one together.” Offered with a smile, making him look back down at his task.            “I don’t need a break, I’m fine.”            “My offer still stands, let me know if you change your mind.”            Iroh’s heart pinched at the fretful look she gave Zuko before glancing at Iroh, asking with her eyes to watch out for Zuko. Iroh nodded and she left with a fulfilled order.            “Lee, look.” Iroh gestured with his chin at ___. Zuko looked up just in time to see ___ looking at him with heartfelt concern. The look melted his heart as their eyes met and then she blew a kiss at him with a wink before returning to work.            “She loves you and your apprehensive mood has made her worried. She’s always stealing glances at you. Whatever anger you have, I hope this knowledge helps you.”            Zuko kept his eyes on his love, “it does. Thank you, Uncle.”            “I believe the anger you felt, was jealousy. I think a date night would be beneficial to both of you. I will be out late tonight. I’ll be paying Pai Sho with some nice fellows in town.”            Zuko nodded, before taking his eyes off of ___. “What should I do for a date night?”            Iroh chuckled at the anxious look his nephew gave him. Before starting a plan for the couple.  

         “Goodnight you two. I’ll be home late.” Iroh waved at them.            “Be safe!” ___ called out after him, she turned to Zuko with his favorite smile. "Would you like to head home? I can make some congee and some hot chocolate.”            "No,“ he blushed before moving the picnic basket out in front of him. "I thought we could go out too, do a small date.”            The look of shock and blush that ran through her cheeks gave him more courage, he offered an arm to her.            "Shall we?“ He gave her a soft smile as she took his arm and they started walking.  

         Upon a small hill, the couple smoothed out a blanket to sit on along with the contents of the basket. Some iced tea and appetizing sandwiches along with some snacks. They sat down together, closely, leaning against each other.            ___ watched the lights of the city and would occasionally look up to the stars then towards the bush line.            "You seem,” he trailed off a bit. “Distracted.”            "I’m just enjoying your company while we eat and I look around. I haven’t been to this spot before.“            She sat up a bit to get a drink before settling against Zuko again.            "I’m sorry I’ve been so distant lately. I guess I was jealous, seeing you be happy with customers, without me, like you don’t need me.”            "I don’t need you, but I want you more than anything. We should live and grow together, be able to be dependent on one another when needed. But I don’t want either of us to be codependent, as that’s not healthy for a relationship if it goes on too long.“            "So, you love and want me, but don’t need me?” He furrowed his brow not really understanding.            "I do need you, but as emotional support. I want us to love another without losing who we are in the process. If life and time allow, I would want nothing more than to be able to be close to you, hold your hand, as we both live out the rest of our existence.“            Zuko hummed a bit in reply understanding a bit more, she wants him forever but still wants to be independent too.            "So best friends for life with the emotional bond of love and passion. My lover, my best friend, my forever.” She leaned up and kissed his cheek gently. “I love you, Zuko.”            His heart was hammering the moment she said, lover. She’d never called him that before. Although they’ve only been passionate a few times and never made love, she still saw him as her lover.            "How can I be your lover when we haven’t been intimate?“            "I don’t know about you, but I don’t see myself ever being with another person. No matter if we ever have intercourse or not, it honestly doesn’t matter to me.”            "You don’t care to have me, sexually?“ He whispered; he felt a bit hurt.            "Not at the risk of making you uncomfortable or making a mistake.” She whispered back; he could hear the anguish in her tone.            "You still worry about that?“            "My last relationship was only physical, I have impulses sometimes, and I can’t let them ruin this, I love you too much. I can’t lose you because I fucked up. I just can’t.” She whispered before kissing his cheek softly. “So I’ll wait forever if I have to.”            "So, you put all the pressure of making first moves on me?“            "No, if you say you want me to do something, I’ll do it. I just don’t want to assume anything or push you too soon.”            Her words hung in the air. Zuko didn’t suspect that answer and he didn’t know what he wanted. How could he know what he wanted if he’s never experienced it before?            "There is one thing I want.“ He wrapped an arm around bringing her as close as possible.            She leaned against him fondly. "Name it.”            Zuko’s confidence plummeted as her voice rang in his ears. “Uh, well, I can’t name it, it’s more of a question or um I have some to ask you.” He stuttered over his words and a heavy blush covered his face and he moved away from her a bit before facing her more directly.            "Zuko?“ She questioned as he fumbled onto one knee tapping his pockets before quickly presenting the pendant, he’d kept from her. For what seemed like forever.            ___’s eyes went wide, she knew this necklace and she could already feel herself tearing up. She kept glancing between the necklace and Zuko’s golden eyes as he held it delicately in his hand.            "Will you be mine? Or um, will you marry me, someday?” Zuko watched her as she situated herself onto her knees and gently brushed her fingertips over it. She closed his hand into a fist and held his wrist. She finally met his eyes; he could only see her tears before she rested her forehead against his closed fist.            "I’m not good enough for you.“ She sobbed softly. "You’re trying to do things right; I would be all of your first and all of your last. But I can’t offer that back to you.”            Zuko smiled softly as the love and sorrow rolled off her.            "I’m not good enough for you. I’ve done some really bad things in my life. If you’re willing to accept me. I would be honored to be all of your last.“ He brought her head up gently with his fingers under her chin. When their eyes found one another, he opened his fist again.            "Will you accept me?” He asked softly and she sobbed before tightly wrapping her arms around his neck.            Embracing each other. She finally whispered a yes before kissing him deeply then rested the top of her head onto his chest.            Zuko was trembling as he moved her hair out of the way and fastened the necklace around her neck. Once he was done, she sat back, the tears had stopped. But she glowed with happiness as the tears still glistened in her waterline.            Under a crescent moon, he couldn’t help but smile at her. And never before this night had he noticed how barren her neck looked without his necklace resting tenderly on her skin.

Author’s Note: After this chapter, smut, drama, angst all starts. So this is the fluff you get for now to cushion the ride to come. If you’re uncomfortable with smut, angst, cock warming kinks, this might a good place for you to stop and just let the happiness and fluff be.

[thrillridesz]

the story of us ▫ eric

➳ pairing: ex husband and father!eric x fem!reader ➳ genre: angst, slight fluff ➳ word count: 3.8k ➳ requested?: yes

a/n: this is written as a part two to this timestamp!

Eric peered nervously at his watch, frowning as he watched the time tick by the second.

Just where were you? It was already nearing eight and the two of you were supposed to meet at seven in the restaurant. The dinner plans had been made over a week ago when he finally mustered up the courage to ask you out for a meal. Moreover, the restaurant he had picked required a special reservation given how popular it was and frankly, Eric was starting to feel more and more uncomfortable by the minute in a fancy restaurant like this one.

People were starting to cast sympathetic glances in his directions, murmuring amongst themselves about the man sitting alone at the table, no doubt making their own speculations about him as the lonely guy stood up by his date. Eric felt his shoulders sag and disappointment seep in. Were they going to be right about their speculations after all?

Trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his heart, he whipped out his phone and texted Sangyeon.

i don’t think she’s coming. this is a mistake.

The response was almost immediate.

wait, she’s not there yet??

no

that’s kinda messed up, she stood you up?

i don’t know, i think so

There was a pause while Eric awaited Sangyeon’s response, downing a glass of wine in an attempt to hide his sadness.

man, i’m rly sorry to hear that :/ do you wanna just come over and hang? there’s a crazy match going on today, we can get some beer too

Staring despondently at his phone, Eric bit his lip anxiously, feeling a lump starting to form in his throat. Were you really standing him up? He briefly recalled your reaction when he had asked you out for dinner over the phone after he had coaxed his daughter to sleep that day. He had been a ball of nerves and if it wasn’t for Sangyeon’s encouragement, he would never have had even thought about asking you out.

“I don’t know if I can do this. What if she says no?”

“Then you take it like a man. Either way, you have nothing to lose if you try and everything to lose if you don’t.” Sangyeon replied and Eric could hear the audible sigh in his voice.

As he paced the empty living room, he said, “I mean... You have a point but this is y/n we’re talking about. My ex wife. You don’t just call up your ex wife for dinner.”

“You don’t?” came the reply as a distant crash sounded from the other end of the line followed by a screech so sharp that made Eric wince in pain.

“No, stop that! Taeil, give your sister back her doll right now! Sorry, give me a moment.” 

“Wait-”

Sangyeon didn’t even wait for his response before leaving the phone call on hold and Eric could only glare at his cellphone in irritation. Shaking his head, he sunk into the couch and rubbed at his temples. All of this on top of work was giving him a mighty headache. As he pressed his fingers to the side of his head and rubbed, he suddenly remembered how you would always give him a back massage after a long day at work back when the both of you were still a married couple. Gingerly placing a hand on his shoulder, Eric longed so badly to feel your hands on him that his heart hurt. How did things go so wrong?

Looking up, a small picture frame next to the television caught his eye. It was a picture that the two of you had taken on the day he proposed to you years ago. The happiness in your eyes was unmistakable as you held up your hand pridefully, the ring shining brightly on your finger. His arm was looped around your waist as the two of you leaned in for the picture, the love the two of you had for each other obvious even in a still image. It had been ages since he had been able to hold you like that or even seen you smile that radiantly around him. There was absolutely nothing he wouldn’t give to see it again.

“Hello? Eric?”

Bringing the phone to his ear, Eric tried to keep the sadness out of his voice. 

“Yeah?”

“Sorry, it’s the kids again. They were fighting, tearing the house apart literally. Anyways, you’re going to call her right? Y/n?”

He glanced wistfully at the picture before answering, “I don’t know.”

“You’re still hesitating?” Sangyeon groaned.

“I-” Eric opened his mouth to retort, only to get interrupted by yet another piercing scream from the other end of the call. He could hear soft mutterings of profanities as he stood waiting for the scream to die down.

When it did, he cleared his throat. 

“That’s not very nice, Sangyeon. You know, swearing.”

If it wasn’t possible to feel someone rolling their eyes on the call, he certainly felt it from Sangyeon. 

“If you had children like Taeil and Jisoo, you’d love them to death but also wish they could stop their shenanigans for once,” he replied before adding, “I have to go for real now anyways.”

“Alright.” Eric laughed.

“Call her! Tell me how it went at work tomorrow!” Sangyeon ordered before ending the call, leaving him staring at the phone in the silence of his home.

“Should I?” He thought as his thumb subconsciously scrolled down his list of contacts and hovered over your name. Looking at the time, it was already midnight. Maybe you were already asleep. What if he disturbed you? What if you were in the middle of a shower and couldn’t answer the phone? He would look like an idiot. Tossing the phone aside absentmindedly, Eric looked up at the ceiling and closed his eyes. It might be for the best if he didn’t call you or ask you out. It’s probably what you preferred.

“Hello? Eric?”

He sprang up from the couch in shock. Was that a ghost? Was he hallucinating or was that your voice calling him? The colour drained from his face as he realised to his sheer horror that he had accidentally tapped on the call button earlier and the call had gone through.

Immediately when the ball dropped, Eric made a beeline for the phone and before he knew it, he was falling forward. As he landed on the floor with loud thud, he mentally cursed himself for being clumsy when you asked, “Is everything ok? I heard a loud noise.” 

Fumbling for the phone, he gasped out, “Yes! Everything is great, I’m really sorry!”

“Um, ok. I just thought I heard a really loud noise. Why did you call anyways? Is there something the little one left behind?” 

Eric bit the inside of his cheeks as he thought hard for an appropriate response. What is he going to say? Yes and make up a lie about something stupid? Or... 

“Ask her out?” He whispered under his breath.

“What was that?”

Eric almost wanted to slap himself for saying his thoughts out loud and he frantically backtracked, “Nothing! I was just wondering...” He trailed off as the picture caught his eye again. 

This could be his chance to salvage everything and shoot his shot for another opportunity to get back the life he had left behind. Briefly recalling what Sangyeon had said, his grip on the phone tightened as he debated.

Either way, you have nothing to lose if you try and everything to lose if you don’t.

“Will you go out with me for dinner?”

When the question escaped from his lips, it was too late to take them back. He heard your breath hitch from the other end and a chill ran down his spine. There was a moment of silence and waiting for your reply had been the most nerve wracking couples of seconds of his life. 

“Why?” Your voice was soft and there was a hint of caution in them.

Flustered, Eric fumbled to find the right words to reply. He had expected outright rejection and that single word had thrown him off completely. Deep down, he felt a spark of hope began to bloom. You didn’t give him a straight answer but at least it wasn’t a no although it wasn’t exactly a yes either.

“I... Um... I just thought... Um... Maybe we could just c-catch up on some stuff?” He asked as he screwed his eyes shut, anticipating your answer.

“...Sure.”

Eric almost hurled his phone across the room. 

Shut up. 

Was he dreaming right now? Did you really just say yes? Pinching himself for good measure, the stinging pain did little to dull his uplifted mood. This isn’t a dream after all. He was suddenly filled with such joy, he thought he could explode.

“I-I... That’s awesome! How does friday night next week sound?” 

He could hear the smile in your voice that he had grown to love over the years.

“Friday night sounds lovely.”

Come to think of it, were you hesitating? 

“Did she only say yes because she was too afraid to say no?” He thought to himself, eyes widening in horror. 

“Hey! I’m so sorry, I’m late.”

At the sound of your voice, he looked up and felt a shiver run down his spine. You had always been beautiful to him but today, you looked simply stunning and for a moment, he just stared without moving the slightest bit. You were wearing a gorgeous blue dress that fell gracefully to your knees and although your hair was slightly messy and unkempt, it only accentuated your beauty as wisps of hair framed your face. 

Taking a seat across from him, you barely even noticed his blatant gaping as you settled yourself down.

“I’m so sorry for being almost an hour late. The babysitter was late and the traffic was just insane out there, I hope you’re not mad at me.” You said, laughing softly in embarrassment. “Eric?”

Blinking, he snapped out of his daze and his cheeks turned pink. 

“Oh! It’s no worries, I completely understand.” A wide grin tugged at his lips as straightened his tie, suddenly conscious of how he looked in front of you. The patrons had stopped whispering and had gone back to their meals, the sheepish expression on some of their faces plain as day.

As Eric placed his hands on the table, he accidentally knocked over his glass of wine, sending the glass crashing to the ground. Shards of glass skidded across the marble floor as the ruby red wine formed a small puddle. The splintering sounds of glass against the hard floor turned heads and for a moment, everyone stared at the two of you. Some wore disapproving frowns while others simply looked away hastily as a waiter rushed forward to assist.

“I’m really sorry! I didn’t mean to,” Eric exclaimed anxiously, internally wishing he could dig up a hole and hide in it. Barely one minute into dinner, he wad already making a fool of himself in front of you and in a fancy restaurant no less. 

The waiter only smiled at him good naturedly before waving away his apologies.

“It’s perfectly alright, sir! This is no problem at all! I’ll go get a mop and a broom.”

Nodding weakly, Eric sat back in his seat with his face downcast. He couldn’t possibly look at you straight in the eye after that blunder he made. An unexpected, soft chuckle made him peek up at you shyly.

“That waiter definitely did not look happy.”

“He didn’t?”

You raised an eyebrow at him quizzically before leaning forward and he briefly caught a whiff of your intoxicating perfume. Roses and jasmines, sweet and subtle just like you.

“Look over there.” You whispered, pointing to a far corner of the restaurant and he turned.

From afar, the disgruntled look on the waiter’s face was vague but it was nothing either of you could miss. Bending over to whisper something in his colleague’s ear, they both peered over in your table’s direction. Quickly, the both of you turned away, pretending not to see.

“Man, I guess it’s not alright after all.” Eric rolled his eyes and you nodded, taking a small sip of water. 

“When you work in the service industry for some time, you’ll notice these stuff eventually.” You replied, smiling kindly at him. 

“Right.” He cleared his throat awkwardly, remembering that you worked as an operations manager for a cafe downtown. There was a moment of silence before he asked, “How’s work?”

“Oh, just...” You waved your hands, “We’re revamping the menu and business is going smoothly. Honestly, there’s nothing much. You?” 

“Um... Nothing much either, I suppose. Some financial reports for the year are rolling in and my clients are-” Eric trailed off. What is he doing, rambling off like that? No, no. He had to backtrack. Talking about work is a bad idea especially since it was the reason why the two of you had separated in the first place. 

“My day was great,” he clasped his hand together on the table before he continued, “It’s nothing much to talk about. I’d rather we just talk about other things besides work.”

For a moment, he thought he saw a look of confusion and surprise flash across your face before you replied, “Oh, alright. I thought you used to have a lot of new work stories every day?”

“Ah no... I don’t. Today, I want to just catch up with you.”

You regarded him skeptically for a moment before you shrugged.

“Sure, I’m up for that. Do you want to order some food first?” 

“I... Okay.” Deflating a little, he pored over the menu. Basic french words were already difficult to understand but throw in some culinary terminologies, Eric was completely lost. Everything was like hieroglyphics to him as he surveyed the menu blankly. 

“Do you know what you’re going to get?” You asked him, without looking up.

Eric stared hard at the menu, so hard until the words were starting to blur together. There had to be something he understood from this menu. Internally, he began to regret choosing this restaurant but then he remembered that you loved french cuisine. 

“It’s worth it if she’s satisfied,” he thought firmly to himself as he flipped over the page. Just how thick was this menu? This could be a library book. By the time the waiter stopped by the table, he still hadn’t made up his mind.

“May I take your orders?”

“Yes, please. I’ll have the soupe à l’oignon,” you replied as you handed the menu back to the waiter. “Have you decided on what you want, Eric?”

“Um...” He hesitated for a moment before pointing at something random on the menu. “I’ll have this.”

The waiter bowed as he left with their orders and you asked, “What did you order?”

Eric felt his face heat up as he stayed quiet. He couldn’t just tell you that he randomly chose, how pathetic would that be? You would see him as a try hard for picking an upscale restaurant with menus in a language he didn’t understand a word of. 

“i just got clams.” He smiled, taking a hasty sip of water. 

“Clams. I didn’t know you liked clams,” You said, looking at him curiously. 

“I thought I’d try something new I guess,” he laughed, fists clenched at his sides. “Anyways, how are things with you lately?”

You sighed and Eric had to resist the urge to reach out and hold your hands in his like he always did whenever you were visibly stressed out. So near, yet so far.

“Oh, things have been alright lately. It’s just that the restaurant is getting busier these days and our daughter is having a school recital soon. Her teacher wanted me to go buy her a dress for it but I haven’t got the time lately.” 

“Recital? What recital?”

“The one happening in September? Did she tell you about it?” You asked, looking at him wide-eyed in surprise. 

“I guess she didn't,” Eric said softly, feeling his stomach churn uneasily. He should have known. Although these days his relationship with his daughter is improving, there are definitely still some things she wouldn’t tell him. He didn’t blame her though, since he had been absent for a large part of her childhood. If only he was so career oriented then.

Your expression softened as you reassured him, “Maybe she forgot. Don’t ponder about it.” He nodded weakly at your words, forcing a faint smile as he gripped on tightly to the tablecloth. You leaving him had been one of the hardest things he ever had to go through but couple that with a lack of a familial relationship with his own flesh and blood? If time travel was possible, he would have went back and given his past self a good beating. 

He was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he almost didn’t notice that you had your hands on his. Slowly, his gaze drifted down but before he could hold you, you quickly withdrew your hands. Pushing your hair away from your face, you avoided making eye contact. 

“Y/n-”

“I was just trying to reassure you and make you feel better.” 

It would be a lie if Eric was to say he didn't feel disappointed. The spark of hope in his heart dimmed slightly as he reared back like a wounded child. He tried fervently to ignore the sinking feeling in him as he looked at you. When you turned away, it felt like needles stabbing in his heart. 

“I-”

“Soupe à l’oignon?” The waiter placed a steaming bowl of creamy soup on the table. 

“That’s mine.” You gestured, a grateful look on your face.

When the waiter left, Eric sniffed curiously before pointing out, “Is that onion?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“I thought you hated onions. You said once that you’d rather eat crickets than onions.”

“I guess I just started liking them,” you shrugged as you dipped your spoon into the soup. 

Why is he feeling so upset over this?There was a lump in his throat as he croaked out, “When?”

Hearing the tremble in his voice, you snapped your head up to look at him. Seeing the hurt look in those dark eyes of his, you felt your heart fall with a messy splat. You didn’t know why he was feeling that way and you would have tried to coax yourself into thinking that you don’t care but your heart couldn’t help it. If you were being completely honest with yourself, you still cared for him as much as you hated to admit it.

“Eric, are you ok?”

“I... I’m fine. It’s just that...” Millisecond by millisecond, he could feel his restrain crack. He could feel the formidable guard he had built around own emotions starting to shatter. 

“I guess you’re just different from how I remembered. I feel like I don’t know you anymore and that hurts me.” Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Stop talking. “I feel like I’m now a stranger to you and...” He felt his lower lip tremble and tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. 

“And what, Eric?”

He could practically feel his restrain break free as he blurted out, “And I feel like we’re not lovers anymore! I mean, to be fair we’re not... not married anymore but fuck. I still love you. I still love you with all my heart and seeing you and talking to you without being able to hold you or express my feelings... That kills me inside every time. I used to love the fact that we both know each other inside out but it feels like the longer we are apart, the closer I am to losing that. I never meant for the story of us to end this way and I know it was all my fault. I was the one who fucked up. I single handedly ruined the family we had but I’m begging you to give me another chance. Please, y/n. I need this, I need you. Will you give me a chance?”

Everything came out in a rush and by the time he ended his sentence, a single tear was rolling down his cheek. You stared quietly at your bowl of soup, not looking at him and not uttering even a single word. If his heart was broken enough, it certainly was now. 

Taking a deep breath, Eric choked out, “I-It’s fine. I understand if you don’t love me back anymore. If you want to leave, you can. I’ll pay for-”

“Okay.” 

He almost fell out of the chair as he peered at you, alarm written all over his face.

“What?”

You stared him straight in the eye as you mumbled, “I said okay. I’ll give you a chance.”

Did God finally decide to have mercy on him? Are the stars aligning in his favour? Eric couldn’t believe his ears and he had to smack himself to make sure this wasn't a dream. The loud slap rang through the restaurant and several patrons turned to your table as you gasped in shock.

“What are you doing?!”

Feeling the stinging pain on his reddened cheek, he replied dumbly, “Making sure this isn’t a dream.”

You couldn’t fight the giggle that gurgled up within you as you held his arm, “It’s not a dream. Don’t hurt yourself, Eric.”

This is actually happening. To think if he had chickened out, he would never have had this opportunity. He should definitely treat Sangyeon to a meal tomorrow. 

“I... I just can’t believe it. You have no idea how overjoyed I am right now.” His bright grin stretched from ear to ear and you felt yourself almost melt. Maybe you do still have some feelings for him.

As he reached out to hold your hand, you leaned away causing him to look at in a rather bewildered way. 

“If we’re going to do this, we’re starting over.”

The tension in him dissipated quickly as he hurriedly stuffed his hands in his pockets. 

“Alright then. That is completely fine by me! I never want to make you feel uncomfortable.” He grinned, a sparkle in his eyes. “What do you mean by starting over though?”

You pondered over his question for a moment before holding out a hand, which he simply stared at before looking at you with a questioning look.

“Nice to meet you, I’m y/n.” Realisation dawned upon him as he chuckled.

“Wow, you really do mean start over,” he said before reaching over and shaking your hand. “I’m Eric. Eric Sohn.” 

“Rouille de seiche?” The waiter placed a hot platter of what looked like cuttlefish in tomato sauce in front of him.

He gazed at his plate for a moment before he turned back to you. You could barely contain your laughter.

“That doesn’t look like clams to me.” 

“Well, I didn’t understand the menu so I just randomly chose. If there’s one thing you need to know about me, it’s the fact that I’m not a huge fan of cuttlefish but I didn’t know that when I ordered,” he smiled at you.

[purple-cat-demon]

Forever Starts Under the Ginkgo Tree: Part 1

Pairing: Gavin x Hazel

Word Count: 1732

Genre: domestic fluff

Warnings: none

A/N: I've finally got this one in motion after a somewhat gnarly writer's block. I hope y'all enjoy~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, 12pm, Loveland Police Station

Gavin tapped his pen in a frustrated manner while looking over a report in front of him. It was his fourth one and before proceeding any further, he decided to take a break and rest his mind. In doing so, his mind wandered to various places to potentially propose to his girlfriend, Hazel. Another officer happened to pass by his office and noticed an out-of-place blank stare on his face.

“You okay, sir,” the female officer inquired, breaking Gavin’s trance.

“Oh, hey V.T. Yeah, I’m okay,” he answered while rubbing his eyes, “just trying to figure out something.”

“Is it the proposal again?”

“Y-yeah, I just don’t know where would be a good place…”

“Hmm, and of course you don’t want to be obvious about it either.”

“Yeah.”

A buzz came from Gavin’s phone at that moment, it was none other than his girlfriend.

‘Geez, were her ears burning,’ the officer mused.

She had sent a text message with an attachment. Upon perusing the link, he was taken to a page talking about a giant, ancient ginkgo tree at a temple. His phone buzzed again, it was Hazel continuing her message.

~{What do you think? Would you be interested in checking this out sometime soon?}~

A little dumbfounded at the timing of this message, he showed the site to V.T. The junior officer gave an excited gasp as her eyes lit up.

“Do you know about this place?” Gavin asked.

“Oh yes! My girlfriend and I went there last year,” she replied as she hastily took out her phone and thumbed through her photo gallery, stopping at the one picture she was looking for. She then showed Gavin a selfie of her and her girlfriend in front of the ginormous ginkgo tree in all its golden-hued glory.

“It’s absolutely gorgeous in person!”

Gavin contemplated for a bit then sent a text back to Hazel.

~{How’s your project going? If you’re done by this weekend, do you want to go see that ginkgo tree?}~

“Oh, I better get back to my desk. Let me know how it goes, yeah?” V.T gave her senior officer a wave and left.

“I will,” Gavin called back as she hurried down the hall. A few minutes later, Hazel replied,

~{Almost done with the project. Should be completely finished by Friday. But do you have any missions scheduled?}~

~{So far, no. I can make it to where I won’t have any missions, if you’d like}~

~{??? You can?! How?}~

~{Just leave it to me}~

~{Sure thing, my love, see you later}~

Gavin closed out the text message and went back to the reports in front of him. He had the start of a proposal plan in the works, and that gave him the needed energy to go through the reports.

Meanwhile, at AEC, Hazel was beaming over the text conversation she and Gavin just had. Anna noticed the goofy grin on her boss’s face.

“What’s got you in a good mood? Talking to your boyfriend?”

“Mhm! Now I really need to get this project done,” she cracked her knuckles and resumed typing her reports. The possibility of spending a weekend with her boyfriend gave her the needed incentive to work hard (more so than what she already did).

A few hours later, an email containing Victor’s approval signaled the end of the workday for everyone.

‘Well, that’s one day down,’ she mentally mused as she closed her laptop, ‘just four more days to go.’

Hazel came bursting through the door of their apartment causing Gavin to shut his laptop abruptly. He got up from his spot at the dining table and met with Hazel approaching the kitchen.

“You seem to be in a great mood, a good day at work?”

Hazel beamed at her boyfriend.

“Yes! Got LFG’s approval and we’re all set to continue the project as scheduled! I just hope everything goes well these next few days,” she fretted a bit. Gavin gently caressed her cheek.

“You have the incredible tendency to overcome any obstacle that gets in your way. You got this, my love.”

She leaned into his hand with a content look, then kissed it. She was about to bring him in closer for a kiss when her stomach loudly voiced its displeasure in being hungry.

“Let’s have some dinner,” Gavin chuckled as he went to open the fridge, only to be greeted with the bare minimum of ingredients.

“Yeah, we haven’t done any shopping yet…” Hazel sighed, “let’s go to the convenience store for tonight.”

“Okay,” he replied, shutting the fridge door, “but, you just got home; do you want to order in?”

“Hmm, nah, I want to take a walk with the man I hardly see anymore~”

Gavin blushed faintly, “okay, let’s go”

They headed to the nearby convenience store, hand in hand, passing by businesses closed for the day. One particular business caused Hazel to slow her pace, then stop, making Gavin stop abruptly and turn around. His gaze went from his girlfriend to what was in the window that caught her attention. There on display was a beautiful, white wedding dress; mermaid style with a lacy bodice, and a veil nearly as long as the dress itself.

“You wanna wear that?”

The sudden whisper in her ear caused her to jump slightly, she flashed an embarrassed grin to her boyfriend.

“Y-yeah, someday~”

‘Someday might be sooner than you think,’ Gavin mused as he returned his hand to hers, continuing their jaunt to the store.

Gavin grabbed a basket as they entered the store, going one way while Hazel went towards the hot food display. She took a quick glance, noting the potato croquettes still available, then headed to the prepackaged dinners. She finally settled on a pork cutlet curry plate, foregoing the potato croquettes. As she picked it up, Gavin walked up beside her,

“That looks good, could you grab one for me too?”

“Sure~”

“What kind of drink do you want?”

“Milk tea, please.”

“Are you sure? It won’t keep you up?”

She pouted a bit, “do they have the small cans?”

Gavin glanced back towards the cold drinks wall; “yes,” he replied, then proceeded to go grab one. He returned to a brightly smiling Hazel holding up a small cake, just enough for the two of them.

“You want that, too?”

She nodded eagerly as he chuckled lightly, “okay, we have dinner and dessert.”

They bought their food and headed back home. After dinner, Gavin opened his laptop to show Hazel the itinerary in the making for that weekend. He had the train tickets purchased and the hotel booked already. They were now checking out the restaurants and eateries that were near both the hotel and the temple. There were so many to choose from that they ultimately decided to check them out when they get there.

“I’m excited for this weekend,” Hazel chirped as she cleared off the dining table. Gavin smiled as he closed the laptop and went to make some tea for the both of them.

“It’s something we both need. Our work schedules have been packed lately,” he added, setting the kettle on the stove range.

She came up behind him and gave him a hug while nuzzling into his back. He lightly caressed her left hand in response, subtly paying more attention to her middle finger. Thankfully that small gesture went unnoticed by his girlfriend. They stayed like that until the kettle started whistling. Hazel let go of her boyfriend and grabbed two cups from the nearby cupboard. Teas in hand, they headed to the living room and sat down on the couch. After a few minutes of debating on what to watch, the two decided to continue a series they had started last week. The nightly entertainment was short-lived as Hazel fell asleep against Gavin’s shoulder. A faint smile graced his face as he carefully got up from his spot, laying Hazel down in the process. He then gently picked her up and carried her to their bedroom. Just as he set her down on the bed, she woke up with a small start.

“Oh! I fell asleep, I’m so sorry!”

“Don’t be sorry, you were tired,” her boyfriend reassured.

Hazel pouted.

“But I want to spend more time with you and I can’t do that if I’m tired all the time.”

Gavin lightly sighed at her grumbling, “well, we do have this weekend to ourselves, there’s that at least,” he tried to offer solace to his disgruntled girlfriend.

“Yeah, I just need to figure out how not to be tired all the time…”

“Well, you can start by going to bed at a decent time and not staying up late. I will try and do the same so we can keep each other in check.”

Hazel grimaced at the idea for she knew a lot of her projects required some gnarly all-nighters, much to Gavin’s dismay.

Hazel then got up and headed to the bathroom to do her nightly routine while Gavin changed into his pajama bottoms. He walked over to the bathroom doorway, patiently waiting for his turn as he admired his girlfriend; a smile adorned his face. Hazel noticed the expression and as soon as she spat out the toothpaste, she inquired about it.

“What are you smiling about?”

‘Busted,’ Gavin quickly regained his composure, “Oh, nothing, just admiring the most beautiful woman on the planet.”

She rolled her eyes as she spat one more time; rinsing off her toothbrush, she then reached for her facial cleanser.

“I don’t know about all that,” she said as she wet her face and dispensed the cleanser in her hand. Gavin rolled his eyes in response.

“Listen, I know beauty when I see it, okay?”

She patted her face dry and relinquished the bathroom to him; as he got ready, she changed into her pajamas and got comfy under the covers. No sooner than when she got settled in, Gavin came out of the bathroom; Hazel whistled at her handsome boyfriend. He flushed slightly at her admiration causing her to giggle.

“Why are you embarrassed? I know handsome when I see it,” she commented.

“Using my words against me, huh,” he said as got into bed next to her.

“Yup, goodnight my love,” she responded as she kissed him on the lips.

“Goodnight, my everything.”

[prettyguardiankore-blog]

Love in Literacy, chapter 6 (Levi x fem!reader)

Don't drink, kids.

Hazy morning light poured in through your window. You blinked, and slowly began to open your eyes, but immediately snapped them back shut. A sharp pain ran through your head. Fuck. Your head was throbbing, and there was an empty nausea in your stomach. You could hurl. You groaned, and pulled your blanket back up over your head, enveloping yourself in the warm darkness, and curling into a fetal position. You’d gotten wasted again. Unbeknownst to anyone else, this was something that happened about once a month. You’d never cared for alcohol as a Scout, but after your accident, it was just something that had happened. And you’d let it. You weren’t proud of it, but it felt like the only way you could simply sit in your emotions, the self-restraint you had when sober was difficult to overcome. Hange had caught you once, drunkenly stumbling back into the castle, bruised up from some bar fight you’d gotten yourself into...they’d been pretty pissed, understandably so. It was one of the few times you’d seen them truly angry with you. If they found out that this was something of a routine for you, they'd have your head on a stake.

You rubbed your eyes and furrowed yourself deeper into your cozy sheets. What happened yesterday? You knit your brow, desperately trying to call upon the events of the previous night.

Okay first, I snuck out to the bar, some old pub near the canal, got that...next, I had a couple of drinks... It wasn’t enough to get me very drunk though...sat around...then someone started talking to me, that new barmaid they’d hired. She was pretty... blonde hair, pale green eyes. She was being really flirty too. I kept talking with her as I drank, and that's when I started feeling tipsy. Then she went on break… and then...

Your eyes flicked open. You’d definitely gotten intimate with her after that. Had you slept with her? You smacked your head in disbelief. No, no, you would’ve remembered, no matter how drunk you were. You’d come pretty close though. You rubbed your temples worriedly. You remembered how she'd softly sucked on the skin of your neck, as you fiddled with the laces of her corset, your free hand trailing up her leg, her soft breath in your ear… What’s wrong with me? You felt heat pouring into your face as the memories returned to you. But something had stopped you from going any further with her.

She wasn’t Marla.

You rolled onto your back, and stared up at the ceiling. You let out a dark chuckle, as you brought your hands up to cover your eyes. You really were a scumbag. Was that your feeble attempt at some sort of replacement for what you could’ve had with her? You didn’t want to think so, but plenty of other people had flirted with you while you were out, why did you never pursue any of them? Why is it the one time you gave into desire, it happened to be someone who resembled your dead best friend? You’d been able to stop yourself, but that was the bare minimum. At the very most, you weren’t a total piece of shit. You squeezed your eyes shut. You didn’t want to delve into the topic too deeply at that moment, so you continued with your recollection of the night. What happened after that?

Well. that was about as far as I got with her. After I had my moment of self realization, I started coming up with excuses to leave. She was pretty mad... I can't blame her. After that I went back into the tavern and had a few more shots… that's when I got really wasted. I decided it was time to get back to the castle. I walked back, it started to rain a bit...then I’d made it back...then I saw Levi.

…

Levi?

Your eyes snapped open and you shot up from your position on the bed, You were now sitting upright, eyes wild. You quietly swallowed. Instantaneously, the rest of the night came flooding back to you. Everything, from the way you’d spoken to him, to the way he’d practically had to drag you back to your room… you froze. And your eyes darted to the filthy chaos that you called your room. He'd seen your room.

“You smell really good. ”

Your heart dropped to your stomach. You said that to him. That was something you said. To him. With your mouth. To his face. You plopped back onto your bed. Slowly, you reached a trembling hand over to your pillow, and shoved your face deeply into it, letting out a shriek of embarrassment and frustration. Your face felt like it was going to melt off. How could you have said that? He probably thought you were a total creep now, and could you blame him? If someone you hardly knew said that to you, you’d submit for a restraining order. After you were done screaming, you gingerly placed your pillow back on the bed, and stood up.

You were supposed to see him later today for lessons, but you absolutely couldn’t. You began pacing back and forth at the foot of your bed. You would apologize to him profusely tomorrow, but you needed at least a day of mental recuperation before you could even consider facing him. Immediately, your mind began racing through the varying excuses you could use to weasel your way out of it. Pretend to be sick? Say you had a meeting with Erwin? Say you were just too tired? Alternatively, you could just not show up at all, did you really owe him an explanation? Yes. You gnawed at your bottom lip pensively. Well, you would need to think about that later. Right now, you really needed to puke.

👁Frantically, you hopped around your obstacle course of a floor and to the bathroom. You slammed the door open, dropped to your knees, hunched over the toilet bowl, and retched. After you were done, you took a deep breath. Another decision you immediately regretted, you gagged at the rancid scent of your own vomit. It was enough to make you puke again, which you easily did. Once it was really all out, you collapsed back down onto the cool tile floor. You closed your eyes, leaning your head back. Your head was still pulsing. Why do I do this to myself...? You thought, dejectedly. When you couldn’t come up with a real answer, you decided you might as well take some time to get ready. You needed to do something to distract yourself. You pulled yourself up from the floor, and leaned down to flush the toilet. You mindlessly watched as what you had spewed spiraled down into the pipes. 👁 You sighed, relieved to be rid of the mess, and turned back to the mirror to get a good look at yourself. It was certainly a sight to behold. Sullen eyes, with harrowing eye bags underneath to compliment them. Your cheeks were puffy, it was something that happened when you drank. You reached up to gently massage the centers of your cheeks, a feeble attempt to relieve the inflammation. Your hair stuck up in every other direction, and you still had some drool dripping down your chin. How lovely, you thought, wiping it away with the back of your hand.

You decided a shower would serve you well. You began stripping away your clothes, the same black corset and cream white dress you’d been wearing at the bar the night before. Once you were undressed, you turned the shower faucet on. You crossed your arms over your chest, lightly hopping back and forth from your two feet as you waited for the water to heat up. You cautiously poked a finger in, for a feel of the temperature. Satisfied, you stepped in, letting out a blissful sigh as the warm water trickled down your body. So what’s my day plan? You mused, grabbing the soap bar, and beginning to hastily scrub at every inch of your body. You wanted to avoid Levi at all costs, so what did that mean for you? You could probably stay holed up in the library. Unless he actively sought you out, which you highly doubted he would, you wouldn’t face any issue. You began rinsing off your body, and moved on to your hair. You poured hair wash into your palm, and began massaging it into your scalp and roots. That sounds good, and even if I see him there, I'll just pretend I didn’t notice him walking in and sneak out through the back room. You began rinsing yourself off, and gave yourself a hard nod, a weak attempt to give yourself some self assurance in your shotty plan. After you finished rinsing yourself off, you shut the water off, and reached a hand out of the shower, groping around for the towel you'd placed on the toilet. You wrung out your hair, wrapped yourself in your towel, and stepped out.

You pushed open the door, releasing the built up steam that had collected in the small room, and headed to your drawer for your underwear. After you got them on, you headed over to your closet, and picked a nicer outfit than you normally might. When you felt shitty mentally, you tried to present yourself in the best way possible physically. You picked out a frilly, intricately stitched, cream colored top. It was a bit itchy, but you could bear with it for the day. Your eyes glazed over the various skirts you had hung up, and you settled on a ruffled red skirt with gold accents. After you were dressed, you moved back to the bathroom. You brushed your teeth, hair, and put on some makeup. Just a bit of lip tint, mascara, and blush. You observed yourself in your mirror. You actually looked good. You revelled in your beauty for longer than you usually might, doing a couple spins for the mirror. You gave your reflection an awkward smile. You were starting to feel a little better, the feeling of hopelessness was beginning to dwindle. I can do this. You took a deep breath, snatched your glasses from your desk, and left the room.

📷 📷

Sometimes, you liked to go to the kitchen and sneak some tea out, just as a small way to treat yourself. So that was exactly what you were gonna do. Did you deserve tea? Debatable, but maybe it would help your head. You walked through the halls of the castle, until you eventually found yourself at the kitchen door. You slowly opened it, and cautiously poked your head in, looking around the small room. It was empty, which was to be expected, meal preparation for the Scouts happened the night before, and the chefs usually didn’t return until later in the afternoon.

You stepped in, and began preparing your tea. You opened the cupboard, faced with the same question that plagued you every time you did. Green or Black....today is a Green day. You hummed in agreement with yourself and pulled out the can, and placed the bag in your cup. You took a few laps around the room as you waited for the water in the kettle to come to a boil, then carefully poured it into the mug. Hot steam bellowed from it, fogging your glasses. You wiped your glasses off and left it to steep, You leaned against the counter while you waited, thinking about your next move. You’d realized that there was a minor risk of going to the library, although it was unlikely, if Furlan and Isabel visited you in there, there was a small chance Levi would accompany them. A small, but very real chance that you didn’t want to take. So you decided you'd go to the castle garden and enjoy your tea there. You glanced over to your cup. It'd been less than a minute since it had begun to steep. Green tea should sit for three minutes...if you sprinted to the library to grab a book, and sprinted back, you should make it back just in time to pull the bag from the cup before it became bitter. With that, you bolted out of the room and began your mad dash to the library.

Thankfully, the halls were empty, so you didn’t have to deal with the embarrassment of someone seeing you huffing and puffing as you made your way through the castle. When you arrived at the library's large wooden doors, you pushed them open, with a small grunt, and ran over to your desk. Your eyes frantically flicked back and forth over its messy contents, until they landed on what you were looking for. Ah, here it is. 'The Gentleman's Nursery'. You'd been wanting to reread the story for a while. The last time you'd tried, you'd quickly gotten interrupted. You snatched it off the desk and began heading back to leave. You opened the doors and did a check of both ends of the hall. When you turned your head to the left, you saw something that opened a pit in your stomach. Seriously? It was Levi. He stood at the entrance to the hall, hand still on the door, with that same indifferent look he usually wore. You stared at him with a dumb expression on your face, chest heaving up and down. Your mind was racing. What were the chances of this happening? Unless the Scout's schedule had drastically changed since you were discharged, he should’ve still been doing his morning warm-ups. You'd thought this through over and over again, the last thing you’d expected of him was to show up by himself. He took one step towards you. Without thinking, you immediately dashed over to the opposite door, leaving him behind you. I'm not running from him, I just need to get back to my tea before it gets bitter, you assured yourself, which wasn’t entirely untrue. You shot him a quick look over your shoulder as you arrived at the door. Fuck. He hadn't moved, but now he looked annoyed. Actually, that was cutting him short, he looked pissed. Straight up pissed. You swallowed, still panting. Maybe a small explanation would alleviate the situation. Unfortunately, with how tired you were, and the fact that your brain was working at a mile a minute, the explanation you got out was less than ideal.

"Green tea gets bitter fast!" You blurted back, as you began shutting the doors behind you. As you did, you snuck one last look at his face. Still angry, but now with a hint of confusion in his expression.

You grimaced, but continued your sprint through the long hall, mentally kicking yourself for the shotty ‘explanation’ you’d provided. Soon enough, you‘d made it back to the kitchen. You entered, and slumped back against the door, finally catching your breath. After you were done, you hurried over to the table, and carefully pulled the dripping tea bag from your cup, and tossed it in the trash, and took a sip. Still good. But the relief you got from that fact was short lived. You sighed. You set the tea down and held your head in your hands dropping yourself onto the stone floor. The consequences of your actions were beginning to take form in your mind. If you were speaking in terms of a scale from one to ten, the situation before was a seven. It was absolutely humiliating what happened the night before… but it happened. At the most, he thought less of you. You didn’t like the idea of it, but it’s not like you two were amazingly close to begin with, so you could handle it in the long run, and you still had your pride. But now, it was a ten. Not only he had to drag you home, drunk, in the dead of the night, and power through your drunken rambling, but now, the following morning, instead of thanking him, you’d run away from him, like a child. You groaned. My tea could’ve waited, you thought glumly, as you furrowed your head into your arms. How was it that every time, without fail, you managed to dig yourself into an even deeper hole than before? You had to fix this somehow, the original plan of just avoiding him all day wouldn’t do anymore. You had to reach out and properly apologize, and preferably soon, before it became an irreparable mistake. You reached into your pocket, and pulled out your stopwatch. It read nine nineteen.

The Scouts training would end around six, then they’d head back to their barracks for the night. You’d go out and find him then. You reached up to massage your temples. I can fix this. You found reassurance in the fact that you’d formulated a plan again. And even if he was still upset with you after, it would be out of your hands, and that would be okay. Although, the nagging feeling in your chest when you thought of it as an outcome made you queasy. Perhaps you were fonder of him than you’d thought. You took a deep breath, and hoisted yourself up from the floor. You had nine hours until you were to apologize to Levi, so you might as well continue with your initial plan. You picked up your tea from the table, and began the walk to the garden.

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After the hectic morning, this was exactly what you needed. It had warmed up substantially from the morning, and the once dreary sky was replaced by a piercing blue one. Your eyes lazily followed the slow movement of the clouds. They looked like the innards of a freshly baked loaf of bread, spilling out of it’s cracking crust. Fluffy...Those are...Cumulus clouds, you concluded. There was a light breeze, carrying the scent of moist dirt from the downpour the night previous. You pulled out your blue ribbon bookmark, placed it on your page, and closed the book gently.

📷

You’d been here for several hours now. You pulled out your stopwatch again, it read twelve o three. You plopped into the soft grass, closing your eyes, to bask in the warm afternoon sun. You began to lift your knee up, but as you began to move it, a sharp pain ran up your inner thigh, and you let out a small yelp of pain. You grimaced. Had you pulled a muscle? All the running from earlier had made you more sore than you’d expected. It was time to face a fact that you’d been ignoring, you were getting weak. It made sense, the shift from vigorous training everyday, to the stagnant life of a librarian, it would have been outrageous to expect otherwise, but you hadn’t wanted to admit it. You chewed your lip. Should I start training again? You pondered, as you adjusted your dress underneath you. It couldn’t hurt to start running in the mornings, and you could pick up weight training again. You frowned. You’d probably have to fix your appalling sleep schedule as well… actually, that would probably have to be the first step if you wanted to achieve anything. It would be a lot of work, but yesterday was a wake-up call for you. You’d nearly done something that you would’ve regretted for a long time. Guilt, loneliness, uselessness... whenever you fell into any of those slumps, you turned to the bottle for the night. The instances where this was happening were only becoming more and more common in these past months. You were destroying yourself, and eventually you’d make a mistake you couldn’t take back. It was the fate of a drunkard.

You pushed your hands against the grass and sat yourself upright, taking a deep breath. Well, now what? You’d now established that you wanted a change, but how were you supposed to initiate the change? It was more than just a drinking problem, it was a coping mechanism that you’d slowly ingrained into yourself for the past year. You sighed. You needed to talk to someone, someone that could hold you accountable, someone who you could reach out to before you fell into the cycle again. Seeing as you only had a total of two close friends, one of which had a bit of a drinking problem himself, that left you with one option, Hange. You groaned. This was a conclusion you’d reached a long time ago, but you'd really wanted to avoid it. They’re going to give me hell. You slumped back down into the grass, shutting your eyes. You could talk to them later tonight, they had been planning on visiting you in the library anyway. You frowned. Apologize to Levi, confide in Hange… what a loaded day you had ahead of you. As someone who was more introverted, it sounded like your own personal hell. Just thinking about it made you tired. Maybe I should take a small nap, you thought, letting out an obnoxiously loud yawn, as you brought your hands up to your eyes to block the sun’s light. Your eyelids started to feel heavy, so you began to indulge yourself in some rest. Of course, as soon as you did, you felt someone nudge on your shoulder. God damn it. You groaned and pulled yourself back up, with an irked expression on your face. You snapped your head back to face who had interrupted you.

“What.” You asked, with more bite than intended.

There stood Furlan, towering awkwardly over you. He looked a little taken aback by your sharp tone. A twinge of guilt popped in your chest.

“Sorry, If this is a bad time-” He began.

“No, no! Please, it’s fine, I was just tired...didn’t sleep much last night.” You explained, “Please, you don’t have to leave.” You insisted. He gave you a grateful smile.

“Don’t mind if I do then!” he said cheekily, plopping himself next to you on the ground, still keeping a respectful distance.

"So what are you doing out here, shouldn't you be in the dining hall now?"

"Ah, yeah I should be..." he chuckled, rubbing his neck, "But my stomach wasn't feeling the best, so I just grabbed a loaf of bread and decided to take a walk."

"Maybe you should go back and eat. You say that now but you might need the energy later, you have a long day ahead of you." You warned, but he just shook his head.

"Naw, besides Levi's in a touchy mood right now, don't really want to be near him." He said with a small laugh. You froze. Furlan noticed the disgruntled look on your face.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, cocking his head.

"Ah, it's nothing," You said, pursing your lips, "But what were you saying about Levi? Do you know why he seems upset?" You asked, as nonchalantly as possible.

"I dunno, Commander Shadis sent him to Erwin's office for some formation practice papers, and when he came back he was in a sour mood, wouldn't tell me or Isabel why."

"I see." You said, quietly. I really need to talk to him. An uncomfortable silence fell between the two of you, neither of you knew what to say to the other, so the two of you just sat there, looking up to the clouds. Eventually, he tapped your shoulder again, and you turned your focus back to his lips.

"What are you reading?" He asked, pointing a finger to the book next to you. You perked back up.

"Ah, this is called the 'Gentleman's Nursery'" You replied, picking it up and placing it on your lap, "It's a romance novel I read as a teenager...I really love it, it's one of my favorites, so I decided to read it again."

Furlan observed you intently as you spoke. A small heat trickled onto your face as your eyes met back up to meet his gaze. He has nice eyes. For the first time since meeting him, you actually observed them closely. They were very defined, slightly downturned at the ends. It gave them a tired look. The color was a popping hazel, with dark brown specks here and there. Your eyes quickly returned down to his lips as you realized he was preparing to speak.

"Do you like romance?"

You blinked, unsure of what he meant with his question.

"...Huh?"

"A-ah, I meant the romance genre." He explained quietly, averting his gaze. He looked a little red. Of course he did. You scolded yourself mentally for interpreting it any other way

"Oh, well it's not my favorite genre, but this one's just so well written, I can't help but reread it over and over again..." You said, as you fiddled with the blades of grass under your hand, "What about you?"

"Hm?"

"Have you ever enjoyed a romance novel?"

"Oh, not really, I've always liked mystery, horror, that type of thing."

You hummed in response. Another silence fell between the two of you.

"Can I borrow that book?" He blurted out, pointing at the book on your lap. You looked at him questioningly.

"Really? Do you think you'd be interested in this sort of thing?"

"Well, if you say it's good, that's gotta mean something, right? I admit it's not my style but..." He turned his head the opposite way as he got out the rest of his sentence. You couldn't see what he said.

"...But? I couldn't see what you said." You told him, arching a brow.

"Ah, sorry." He murmured, quickly turning back to face you, "... Well, it'll give us something to talk about, so I'll read it." he responded, bluntly. His face was now a stunning vermilion, and you couldn't help but reciprocate a flushed feeling in your cheeks as he looked at you. Such earnest eyes. You turned your gaze down to your feet, which had suddenly become the most interesting thing in the world to you in that moment. You didn't say anything for a bit, but you were brimming with excitement at the idea of having a reading buddy.

"O-oh, well of course you can borrow it, if you want...It'll be nice to finally have someone to talk to about it." You said with a small chuckle, as you handed the book to him, which he accepted with a small bow. You pulled out your watch, and you blinked in surprise. Twelve thirty-three.

"Furlan you need to get going! Lunch ended three minutes ago!" you exclaimed, voice jumping up an octave. His eyes widened, and he instantly shot up from the grass and began a dash back to the training fields. He didn't get very far before he turned back to face you. He shouted something, but the distance between the two of you was too wide. You motioned towards your ears in oblivion and gave him an exaggerated shrug. You snickered as you saw him smack himself in the forehead at his mistake, before jogging back up to you.

"We'll talk more after the expedition tomorrow!" He beamed, before turning back and continuing his sprint to the field.

You stared at him with a blank look as he ran off into the distance. That dreaded sense of familiarity overcame you. The similarity between what he just said and Marla's last promise was too glaring to ignore, no matter how hard you tried. A part of you wanted to chase after him, and pull him back to sit next to you again, so the two of you could keep talking about books. But you didn't. You decided to put your faith in him, despite every bone in your body screaming at you to do otherwise. You remembered the day you'd told them about your last expedition.

We won't die out there.

He'd stated this as a fact, and you found yourself replaying his words in your head over and over again for comfort until eventually, you found yourself genuinely believing in it. Levi, Isabel, and Furlan were all very skilled soldiers, that's what Hange always told you, and they had no reason to lie to you. That, in combination with the new Scouting formation, made the likelihood of something happening pretty low. You sighed, releasing the tension that had unwittingly built up in your chest. Look at you, thinking about him as if he were already dead, you thought, rubbing your eyes. You smiled to yourself, gazing up at the fluffy clouds. You looked forward to finally having someone to talk to about books.

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