#not sure if this attitude varies with every show but i heard the recent shows fanbase got pretty bad

[gameboy-berry]

I have respect for the folks at GLITCH and the creator of Digital Circus but it is unfortunate that the company has a near decade long history of the most unhinged, inconsiderate and criticism adverse fanbases I've ever seen. And from what I've heard its only gotten WORSE over time. Like just because some criticisms can be outdated or bad doesn't mean you have to hack and stalk anyone who dares to say its not perfect or even not their thing. That's not even half of what those fans do.... I genuinely feel bad for anyone whos been at the receiving end of the fanbases' actions.

[gfmima]

category : 米哈游 原神 work title : too upset and too mad to cuddle with him add. note : modern!au

there was a good reason why your boyfriend was loathed by his colleagues and peers. when you asked, their explanation varied. some say it was thanks to his disagreeable personality, that he was too crabby. others say it was due to his obnoxious demeanor, never keeping his mouth shut. the most random one you heard was his co-worker sharing that it was because “his overall vibe was off-putting.”

while you believe their opinions to be valid, you didn’t take it to heart since you knew it was near impossible to please every person you meet, right? however, you recently caught yourself in an… interesting situation. you were struggling to keep mindset when you were now on the receiving end of it. by “it,” you were referring to the attitude your boyfriend had and everyone complains about.

if anyone were to ask you what the argument was about, it’ll be futile because you would draw a blank.

emotions were running high and words were thrown around to prove the other person wrong — you didn’t know where to start. hours passed and the heat from the argument died down. although you weren’t as angry as you previously were with him, you were still put out and you made sure he knew.

see, you were the touchy one in the relationship.

you made it a habit of hugging him, linking your hands, and hooking your ankles together. despite his ‘fuck, get the hell away from me’ mien, he became familiar of your touch and secretly craved it. you knew that keeping yourself at a distance would elicit a strong reaction, and you just did that out of petty spite.

every move he made to initiate any form of physical contact with you was aptly denied. it was exhausting and infuriating to handle and the sooner the day draws to an end, the more restless he became.

presently, you and your boyfriend sat still in the living room. the only racket in the room was the sitcom show playing on the tv. the air conditioner unit was blasting colder and it left you shivering in your seat — you refuse to sit beside him so you sat by yourself on the armchair.

“why don’t you drop the bratty attitude and come here?” he smirks, patting the empty spot beside him on the couch.

no answer.

kunikuzushi rolls his eyes, playing with the air conditioner’s remote, an idea popped inside his mind. from 24°C, he slowly starts to drop the temperature. he knew you got cold easily, so it wouldn’t take too long before you’re cuddling up against his chest.

“mind keeping it down? i can barely hear what you’re saying with all your teeth chattering.” he smirks when he hears you scoff at him. guess you couldn’t stay quiet, huh?

“i wouldn’t if put the temp back to its default setting.”

“oh, she can speak,” he teases, which earns a pathetic, loud “fuck you!” from you. he shrugs it off, annoying you further, and crosses his legs unbothered of you and the cold.

3…

2…

1…

“i hate you. do you know that? i fucking hate you.”

hm, just like he said, you came running to him in the end. he watches you stomp over to him and plop onto his lap without a warning. he adjusts to a better position that made it comfortable for both of you. drawing shapes on your knee with his finger, he says with a shit-eating grin:

“you’re a clingy one, aren’t you?”

you can see why he was widely disliked.

“don’t leave me like this!”

to say he was taking the cold shoulder treatment well would be a lie. ajax wasn’t. he’s been following you around the apartment, poking you until you face him, and whining your name for the past hours. he knows it’s his fault but he didn’t mean it. besides, he apologized. what else did you want? do you want him to get on his knees and beg? was that it? he’d do it, all you needed to do was say the word.

couples quarreling wasn’t anything new. it’s normal. in fact, it was almost expected. nevertheless, your recent argument was more explosive than your previous fights. frankly, it was bound to happen thanks to him placing greater significance to his job than your relationship.

he’s been coming home late and going to work before dawn these days, always dismissing you and forgetting date night like it was nothing. you were always patient with him, of course, you knew his job was important. although he surely didn’t expect you to let this continue on, did he? what took the cake was when he forgot your anniversary and came home past midnight.

you couldn’t say anything!

you were too angry and too upset, that’s why you settled on giving him the cold shoulder instead. this also led to today’s events. you two were in the bedroom — you laying in the bed and him sitting by the edge. he knew that during fights such as these that his place was on the couch until you cool off but he couldn’t leave you, not when he felt like your relationship was on the line.

“i’m sorry, okay? i am, i really am… tell me what i need to do to make things better… and i’ll do it,” ajax begs. he was very clueless. he didn’t know what else was there left to do for you — he tried everything and he was growing hopeless by the minute.

yes, the fight was bad but is it enough for you to decide this should be the end of his chapter in your life?

“please?” his voice was weak, and it was plain to see that he was growing scared. what if this was the final straw? what if this is his last night with you? the final hurrah of your relationship? too many what-if’s pierce his mind that he had been unknowingly he was moving towards your body on the bed and hugging you from behind.

his grip was tight, but not suffocating, almost fearful that if he held you loose you’d slip away and leave him.

“are you… crying?” you whisper, feeling wet droplets caress the nape of your neck and trail down your back. childe didn’t have any energy left to speak and simply nodded. you sigh. you felt foolish for not knowing it would upset him, but there was no point in sulking over it now. it was too late. you rest a hand of top of his and gave it a tender squeeze.

“we’re going to be okay, right?” he asks after a series of soft hiccups. you felt him pull you closer against him.

“we will… don’t worry,” you reassure, and his body relaxes. it felt like hours that you were stuck in this position. you didn’t have the heart to push him away out of fear of further upsetting him. instead you turn over so you were facing him with your head tucked under his chin. you rest your ear against his chest, then fall asleep to the lull of his heartbeat.

before you close your eyes, you hear a soft “i love you” from your boyfriend who followed you in suit.

[kiingocreative]

The Structure of Story is now available! Check it out on Amazon, via the link in our bio, or at https://kiingo.co/book

.

.

.

I recently discovered the work of couples therapist Esther Perel, and I’ve been fascinated by her work on erotic intelligence. In her book Mating in Captivity, she proposes that what kills desire and eroticism within a couple is proximity and familiarity. From there, she argues, it goes that instilling a dimension of distance and mystery in a relationship is the best way to reignite the flame of desire. By doing so, we learn to look at our partner in a different light, we discover new sides of them and all that unknown sparks attraction again.

This got me thinking…

I’ve been working on my second novel, The Dhawan Brothers, for a little over a year now, and it feels to me that my relationship to my manuscript has evolved over that time. From intrigue and mystique working on the initial drafts, to excitement and enthusiasm polishing and editing later versions to, slowly but surely, a sort of ‘been there, done that’ attitude that makes me prone to procrastination. I’m at a stage now where little in the story will change, or at least not dramatically. I know the characters and the plot, and I love them dearly,but they just don’t make me feel those same stomach flutters I had in the beginning.

And so I wonder…

Could our relationship with our writing be affected by proximity and familiarity the way desire is in our human relationships? Is it that, the moment we get too close, when we know everything there is to know about the other entity, it loses some of its appeal?

If that’s the case, is the key to making sure we remain excited about our writing diligentlycreating distance from it every once and a while?

To Take a Break or Not to Take a Break?

In a highly unofficial poll I ran in my Instagram storiesrecently, I asked the writing community about their experience. 94% of respondents said that, in general, they find it useful to take a break from their WIP. Whether it’s because ‘sometimes you just have to recharge’, because it’s ‘like refreshing your mind to be able to focus better’ when you get back to it, or because it ‘helps your brain work out problems behind the scenes’, writers seem to think a little distance goes a long way.

I was intrigued by the manyresponses that indicated taking some time off their WIP gives writers a chance to get back to it ‘with fresh eyes’. By stepping away from our work, we gain the perspective needed to look at it again from a different angle or through a different lens. That time and space away from our manuscript spark new ways of looking at our stories that we might have been too close to see before. We meet it again under different circumstances and in a different mindset, and it helps us rediscover it entirely. This, in turns peaksour interest and eagerness again.

Too Close for Comfort

But then… Isn’t that exactly what Perel’s theory is? That proximity and familiarity lessen desire in a relationship, whilst distance, mystery and fresh perspectives reignite it? When it comes to a writer’s relationship with their work, it feels to me like an interesting similarity.

In that same unofficial Instagram poll, when asked if there tends to be a stage at which they lose interest in their WIP or find themselves procrastinating, 75% of respondents said that’s indeed the case. The additional answers people gave as to when that happens were incredibly varied, for instance:

‘It depends if the passion for the project stays strong’

‘During the first draft’

‘In the middle’

‘In the editing process probably around the fifth or sixth draft’

‘This happens a lot because of self doubt. I struggle with it in all my life’

‘When things are not going the way I want them to’

‘There’s no particular stage, it just ebbs and flows. But I always come back to it’

‘It depends on the book’

There were as many distinctive responses as there were respondents. When I think of my own experience, I find my interest in my own work flaking right about the time the manuscript is polished. That moment where what’s mostly left to fix are stray typos and minor details, but the core of the story is there to stay. That’s the stage where there’s nothing in the writing process that’ll take me by surprise.

When I think of it, that’s exactly how I view and react to everything,in my relationships and in life in general. I like variety, and excitement, and adventure. The moment I get too familiar with anything, my attention starts to stray, until and unless I can find a way to make that situation or relationship appealing again.

Writing as a Relationship… With Ourselves?

I tend to believe that what we write says a lot about who we are as writers. I’m now also tempted to think that how we write says almost as much about us.

What if our relationship to our writing revealed what turns us on as people? And what tells us more about a person than their inner desires?

Yes, there seems to be a trend amongst the people I’ve heard from, in that most writers find distance from their work to be beneficial, and a large portion see their levels of interest in their WIP dwindle at some point or other. When and how and why, however, varies.

If there are as many ways for it to manifest as there are writers out there, I wonder if this becomes less about a relationship with our craft as it is about ourrelationship with our inner selves. A situation where observing how we treat our writing is like holding a mirror back at ourselves, reflecting our approach to any other of our relationships — and life — in general?

Know Thyself

In her book, Perel explains that exploring and understanding your own underlying desires sheds a great deal of light on how you’ll show up in your relationships, what will make you do the things you do, and what might cause you to stray. That sometimes your actions say less about the other person, or the situation, than they do about which of your buttons are getting pushed.

I think looking at how we deal with our writing follows the same logic.

So, if you’re like me, someone who craves new experiences and mystery and excitement, you may find yourself bored when things stabilise and all that’s left is maintenance and housekeeping. On the other hand, if you’re someone who thrives on stability and certainty, you may find the first draft excruciating, but the later stages more enjoyable.

And Then What?

What does that even matter, you might say? Just like any relationship, writing’s a journey and there are bound to be ups and downs we all need to navigate. Right?

Right. But I’d argue knowledge is power. Knowing how desire works, in any form of relationship — with others, with writing, with yourself — helps you understand that, not only there will be ups and downs, but also what specifically triggers your own ups and your own downs, and why. And that, in turn, can greatly help you smooth out those otherwise dizzying curves. If you know your buttons, you don’t have to let them control you. You can take charge.

The writing journey can be fraught with surprises and pitfalls, and every little helps. Understanding how your approach to your writing reflects your own inner tendencies can help you predict when an up or a down isabout to start. With some introspection, you can better prepare for these, capitalise on the highs and give yourself some kindness on — or even minimise — the lows.

If it can help make the journey that little bit easier, isn’t it worth a try?

[scripttorture]

I’m not sure if you’ll be comfortable answering those, but with recent police brutality in the U.S, I want to write about police torture of protestors and protestors’ feelings. I have a wheelchair user Latina girl and a blind Black trans man. They will be arrested together after the trans man tries to talk down a cop (inspired by a real video) and I wanted them both to be tear gassed. I have experience with police brutality, but was not arrested.

Part 2- How do they arrest blind people and wheelchair users? I understand mobility aids are usually taken away. Does this apply to canes for blind people? Also, I was going to have them in holding for 1 day with no treatment for their eyes after being tear gassed. Is this realistic or do you think police should pour water on them? I was going to involve the arrested characters all going on hunger strike, which might cause the police to transport them to booking faster. Does this sound okay?

-

‘Comfortable’ feels like the wrong word for all of this subject to be honest. I don’t think I could do this if I was comfortable, I am incandescent with rage. I am furious that the world we live in is still infested with this pointless, preventable brutality. Yes I am essentially a ball of rage and ferrets.

 And a portion of that is about the fact it only really makes the news when it affects wealthy countries. Seeing the response in Kenya and Nigeria to these movements/events in the West has been… interesting.

 Let’s start off with some definitions here because I think that will help as we discuss the story idea.

 Realism in the context of these discussions doesn’t necessarily mean ‘this would happen to 100% of people in this situation.’ If we’re talking about torture techniques used and treatment of particular groups in society then it’s less a case of ‘does this happen or not’ and more a case of ‘how often does this happen?’ ‘how likely is this?’

 Most modern torture is ‘clean’, which means that it doesn’t leave obvious external marks. But you do still get incidents (including in rich Western countries) where scarring torture occurs. They just a lot rarer.

 And, continuing this example, if a writer came to me asking about writing a scarring torture in a modern setting I’d warn them about the implications that can go with that. I’d talk about how survivors of clean tortures are dismissed and belittled. I’d talk about how the harm clean tortures do is downplayed. And I’d say that while there’s nothing wrong with wanting to use a scarring torture in a story, when we do it’s important to be aware of the context: that scarring tortures are rare and that they’re not ‘worse’.

 Everything you’ve described for your story is possible and it’s the sort of thing that’s more common in the country and time period you’ve chosen for your story.

 I’ve found it difficult to get hold of larger studies focused on the US. A lot of the statistical analysis I’m seeing focuses on mental illness or doesn’t draw a distinction between mental illness and physical disability. That can be pretty common when you’re looking up stuff about disability. It can be a helpful approach in some respects, showing how the disabled population broadly is discriminated against. But it also masks things that affect particular sub sections of the disabled population by lumping everyone in together.

 The Prison Policy Initiative has a page here you might find helpful, but most of these articles focus on mental illness and low IQ. Solitary Watch has a frankly horrifying list of cases in a prison where the disabled were routinely denied treatment and left in neglectful conditions that amount to torture. (The list includes a blind man denied a cane for 16 years.)

 Based on individual cases I’ve read I’d say that what you have planned is realistic, in the sense that it is possible. Similar things have occurred in America.

 In the absence of clear statistics on the number of disabled people in custody in the US, let alone how they’re treated, I’m finding it difficult to say how common this would be.

 Part of the problem is a lack of consistent standards or definitions across the country. This is from a Reuters investigative piece on deaths and abuse in US jails: ‘Seventeen states have no rules or oversight mechanisms for local jails, according to Reuters research and a pending study by Michele Deitch, a corrections specialist at the Lyndon B. Johnson School of Public Affairs at the University of Texas. In five other low-population states, all detention facilities are run by state corrections agencies. The other 28 have some form of standards, such as assessing inmates’ health on arrival or checking on suicidal inmates at prescribed intervals. Yet those standards often are minimal, and in at least six of the states, the agencies that write them lack enforcement power or the authority to refer substandard jails for investigation.’ (Emphasis mine, full article series can be found here. It contains video footage of torture (beating), some graphic descriptions of racist abuse and miscarriage.)

 What this means for you is that there’s massive variation between jails in the US. The variation affects everything from the structure of the jail itself, to staffing levels, to workplace culture, to oversight, to provision of medical care. Basically some jails are a lot more abusive and dangerous then others.

 It’s also difficult to identify problem facilities because, as the Reuters article points out, a lot of the relevant statistics aren’t released to the public. Reuters came up with their statistics by examining jail records and reporting of deaths or abuse in local newspapers over a period of several years.

 In some of the accounts from US prisoners I’ve read people were allowed to keep wheelchairs. In others they were taken away.

 The cases where wheelchairs were taken were generally reported as part of a wider pattern of torturous neglect. I do not have enough evidence or cases here to say that that’s always the case: I don’t think this proves that prisons or jails which take mobility aids always neglect disabled prisoners. Because I don’t know whether taking a mobility aid, in and of itself, would be reported if it wasn’t happening alongside prisoners being left lying in their cells for days, unable to eat or clean themselves.

 I’ve tried my best to read about disability generally over the years. Because I live in the UK most of what I know about disability is based here. I know about attitudes in Saudi, where I grew up and a little about Cyprus where my family is from.

 Based on what I know about disability generally I’d say that when mobility aids and canes are taken away neglect and abuse are more likely. And I think that would include being left in a cell, having been tear gassed, with no water.

 In terms of physically arresting people with disabilities, well there are problems with abuse of disabled people the world over. I’ve heard stories from a lot of different countries about people being ripped out of wheelchairs, being tackled, being dragged. Unfortunately a lot of people are taught to doubt disability and to treat obviously disabled people with contempt.

 But you should remember that I read about the worst case scenarios. My knowledge is focused on abuse and ideas about what encourages or discourages it. Which can skew the perception of how common these things are. (I really wish I could find some decent statistical data here, the absence is maddening.)

 I think part of the way to approach this is to break it down and figure out how many groups these characters are being passed between. I don’t actually know how the booking in process in the US works. (I’m sorry but the nature of the blog is that I’ve got a lot of broad knowledge, I’m not an expert on every police system in the world.)

 The standard of treatment could easily vary between the people making the arrest and the people actually holding the prisoners.

 And all of this means that I think you’ve got a lot of leeway here. There’s a big range of things that are possible here. So there’s scope to choose how bad it’s going to be.

 You’re already doing that to some extent with the way you’ve planned this out and thought it through. That’s good, it’s important to work within your limits and focus on the elements you’re interested in.

 There will be real cases similar to your story that went a lot worse and there’ll be cases where things went a lot better. No one story can capture everything and that’s OK.

 I think these characters will probably be acutely aware that things could go very badly for them. They’ll probably have heard stories about people of their race, disability and gender being abused or even murdered by police. Use that in the story. Try to bring some of that fear and rage and defiance into the story.

 I’m not sure what kind of cultural weight hunger strike carries in the US. I can link you to my masterpost on starvation which outlines the physical and psychological effects of hunger.

 I also want to leave you my masterpost on solitary confinement, because I’m aware that US jails and prisons often put vulnerable prisoners straight into solitary.

 It’s really clear just from your question that you’ve already put a lot of thought into this and done a fair bit of reading. Keep going.

 You’re probably going to need sensitivity readers. It’s also probably going to take a lot of time, editing and re-reading to get this story as good as you want it to be.

 And it’s going to be hard. Researching this stuff is incredibly exhausting. For the love of gods take breaks. I’ve got a guide to researching difficult topics here. It can be hard to follow the advice there, hell I struggle to sometimes, but you can’t let this stuff poison you.

 I hope that helps :)

Available on Wordpress.

Disclaimer

[chuckie101123]

The Cult of Carnage

“I figured they were all insane, like the cops did. The marks they left behind, the carvings, it all pointed to a satanistic murder cult. The bodies they left behind were all mutilated to the point that we needed dna testing to find out what kind of animal it was from. We couldn't use size because when they started a mutilation fest, everyone joined in. And from the bodily fluids they left behind, it seemed they enjoyed an orgy along with it. None of us even considered the possibility...

The cops couldn’t get close to them, ever. They were all too loyal to their cause. They couldn’t find a snitch, and they couldn’t plant one of their own. Eventually, one of them came up with the bright idea to call me up. I was a cop, once. Had retired six years before I got the call, saying they needed help with one last case. I was bored, figured why the hell not, and drove in the next morning. When I entered, I entered into a madhouse that was nothing like the station I had left. It seemed like everyone and their brother was there, everyone shouting and running around at once. Then they caught a glimpse of me, and all of a sudden, it was silent. The chief poked his head out of his office to see what caused the sudden change, and paled when he saw me.

I suppose I should explain. Before I left and retired, I had a reputation around the station. Put simply, I was violent and unorthodox. I didn’t care about social niceties much, always thought of them as too frustrating to deal with. As such, I came across more often than not as a dick. Pissed a lot of people off with my carefree attitude too, a lot of powerful people. Eventually some of them tried to get me fired on accounts of illegal activities. No one could get the charges to stick. See I was a well-known asshole, but I was good at my job. I was violent, but never more violent than was legal. I wasn’t racist, wasn’t greedy, and was always ready to help out someone in need. (Hey, I told you, I didn’t care about social niceties, that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t help out a kid who’s car broke down on the side of the road.) 

Anyway, when the brass up top couldn’t bring me down the legal way, a few of the more immoral ones tried to take me down the hard way. I sent every one of their men to the hospital with varying injuries, six of whom are still in a coma and twelve more who have to be fed with a straw. Again, the brass tried to get me fired for excessive violent behavior, but as it was in self-defense, the charges wouldn’t stick. Over the next three years, I personally put twenty six of those corrupt bastards behind bars. I doubt I got all of them, but no one has messed with me since.

Anyway, back to the station. So the chief sees me, pales like he just shit out all his blood, and rushes to greet me. Turns out, I recognize the dude. The guy was just a deputy when I left, must’ve done well for himself to have gotten his title. I already didn’t like him, but I did my best to keep myself in check, as he already looked terrified enough. After greetings, he took me to his office and explained the situation. 

Forty-two occurrences in the last two months, all involving what looked like violent blood-baths and massive orgies between around thirty or so members. No member had been caught, no DNA matches, nothing. Nothing, except, a symbol, always placed in the very center of the presumably very exciting events. The symbol was that of a crescent moon lying point side down on top of a sun with a half circle taken out of the side closest to the moon, and there was a four-point star lying in the gap between the two, almost like it was being sheltered or protected somehow.

No evidence, no witnesses, and no leads would make for a difficult case, and I told him as such. In response, he placed a picture on the desk in front of me, and explained that the woman shown was believed to have something to do with it. I recognized her, Alicia Cortez. She was a nice girl, late twenties, who worked in a grocery store in the downtown area. I had caught her out late one night in the pouring rain and offered a ride. On the way to her home, I got to know her a little better. 

She grew up in New Jersey with an abusive father and a junkie mother. She told me that at first, she seemed like she was on a path that would lead her to follow in her mother’s footsteps, using dangerous and powerful substances to fill the ache inside her. Thankfully, a kid helped her see just how far she had fallen, and she packed up and moved to our town that same week. I wanted to ask her more, but by the time I figured out how to phrase the question and opened my mouth, we had already arrived at her house. She thanked me quickly, and ran inside to escape the rain. It seemed strange, but I shrugged it off and drove home. That was eighteen months ago, two months before I got the call.

Once I saw the picture, I started to wonder if I shouldn’t have pressed further. Deputy O’Ryan, or now, Chief O’Ryan, told me that the incidents had started soon after she arrived in town. They said her neighbors had reported strange sounds coming from her apartment, but every time police arrived, the sounds had stopped and no evidence to anything resembling what the neighbors heard could be found. I told the chief I’d look into it, and went home.

Few weeks later, I “ran into” her at the grocery store where she worked at and asked her if she’d like to join me for lunch. As we talked, I noticed she was very pleasant. Not “uninterested in the conversation”, but more mischievous “What do you think you know” pleasant. Eventually, our conversation moved onto her past again. I tried to press gently on what made her change her life around. She smiled in triumph, and even though the damage was already done, I tried to back peddle. It didn’t work. Still though, she answered my questions. 

She explained that the child that changed her life introduced her to his religion, an unorthodox and still recently established Carnagism. She went on further to vaguely explain how the god they worshiped, Carnage, was not quite how the name suggested. She was not evil, or violent, nor did she encourage such traits in her followers. Instead, she encouraged freedom in its truest form. No prejudice, no discrimination, no worries. “Does that include no laws?” I remember asking. Her only answer was a smirk. It was clear to me that I wouldn’t get an answer to that question, so I tried to change topic, asking instead what her religion had done to help her life? After all, if it was appealing enough to get her to pack up and move so quickly, surely the benefits must be amazing? Rather than answer, she instead invited me to her next worshiping session to find out for myself.

And so began my dilemma, do I agree and join her for what might be my own murder, mutilation, and possibly corpse-rape, or refuse and give up the case? For my stubborn, dumb ass self, their was only one option. I accepted.

Fast forward two days, and I find myself in the woods, hand in hand with over seventy other people as we skip around a massive bonfire in a clearing in the woods I swear wasn’t there the day before. All of us are buck-ass naked, covered in paint, mud, and blood from the desecrated corpses of hundreds of birds, squirrels, rabbits, foxes, and field rats. I realized why the bodies were so hard to identify: because these cultists used nearly every part of the corpse, beyond what a normal hunter would. The feathers, each indivual hair, each bone, brain, musclefiber, and organ, all used in their rituals. We fed on the meat and organs, and dressed ourselves in the rest, excluding the pelvic bones of all the females. Those were tossed into the fire we all skipped around, shrieking, laughing, and chanting as we summoned what I had assumed to be another made up god.

I was wrong. Very, very wrong.

As we shrieked and sang and chanted in a strange language I could never quite catch, the fire suddenly exploded outward, the flames rushing across our bodies, touching but never burning. A few of the more recent recruits like myself shrieked and tried to recoil in fear, but we were stopped by the tight grips of the members on either side of us. We tried fighting back until we realized we weren’t hurt by the flames, and we looked to the flames first in wonder and curiosity before our expressions turned to those of fear and wonder. For there, before our very eyes stood figures in the flames of every hue and color. Beings of pure fire, beautiful and proud, took their steps across the edge of the fire towards the cultists.

I stared in wonder at the sight before me, these beautiful and terrifying beings, as one by one they stood in front of a cultist. For simplicity's sake, let’s call them elementals. No two elementals were the same, some didn’t even look human, despite their flaming appearance. Some had what looked like animal heads, others had appendages added and subtracted in weird ways (one had feet for arms and arms for legs and a tail attached to the back of their neck), a few just seemed like floating flames with no features of any kind, and others still just were. They were like the air above hot tarmac, you could see the shimmer and could feel the heat but could see no definite features.

It took me a moment before I realized one of the elementals had stopped before me. Whereas the other elementals were larger, almost adult sized or even bigger, mine was tiny like a fairy might be. She floated in the air before my face, gazing intently at me until I looked at her, and then she smiled. Not the forced smile I was used to seeing, nor the pity smile a mother might show a child who brandishes a mud pie in his hands, nor even the full grin you’d see on that very child’s face. No, the elemental before me smiled a gentle smile, full of only kindness and love, as if she were a mother smiling at a child who returned home after losing their way. Her smile made me feel safe, and warm, like everything was going to be okay.

I couldn’t help it, and I’m not afraid to admit it. I cried. I wanted so badly to apologize to her and thank her and welcome her to this hellish world. So many emotions and needs arose within me at the sight of her gentle smile that I just collapsed in joy and grief and anger. Every suppressed memory, every lost moment I’ve ever had came rushing to my mind. I relived my horrible childhood life, suffering every beating my father gave me, breaking as my mother screamed that I was worthless and would never amount to anything. I relived all those painstaking study sessions, trying to do meet their expectations, but also trying to meet my own. I relived my old friendships, all my romantic relationships, every argument, every peaceful or proud moment. I relived my fistfight with my father and my last argument with my mother before they both died. I remembered every day I’ve ever had, and relived each as if they were occurring at that very moment all at once. And then I relived more recent days. Peaceful walks in the park after retiring, kind conversations I had with people around my neighborhood, excited grins from kids waving to me as I passed. I relived my conversations with Alicia about the goddess she worshipped, Carnage was not a god of violence and destruction, but of chaos and freedom.

And I understood. Carnage was not a goddess of lawlessness. She did not encourage the mutilations of animals for fun, but to teach the value of each individual piece. Carnage represented a peaceful freedom, without corruption to spoil it. Hatred, fear, joy, worry, her followers were free to experience all without judgement. They were not condemned for who they loved, nor were they discouraged from loving as much as they could as often as they could. With Carnage, the strange or different weren’t just permitted as they were everywhere else. They were accepted. There weren’t any personal definitions or social cliques, They just were, free to be as passionate and loving as they desired to be.

With that realization, the memories slowed to a trickle, the last few days before the ritual playing softly and slowly until I caught up with the present. When I did, I noticed three things. One, I was kneeling on the floor with my head in my hands, tears still flowing gently down my cheeks as my nose ran. Two, the small elemental was beside me, her tiny hand rest gently on my cheek, flames licking at the stubble from my beard. Three, she wasn’t alone. 

In front of me kneeled another elemental, adult size this time, though still female. She faced me with her hands on my shoulders, holding me as I sobbed. When I had finally stopped crying enough to see her clearly, I saw her face. She was even more beautiful than all the rest, and while the others looked like they were made from the flames, she looked like the flames were made from her. Every feature was more defined, from her angled, kind eyes to her soft, supple lips to her delicate, nimble fingers and toes. She was just as nude as the rest of us, but it was not her body that held my attention, but her eyes. For in them I saw the history of mankind, all the fury and bloodlust but also the love and compassion. And those kind yet terrible eyes looked at me with an emotion I couldn’t quite place.

“You remember,” she said, not a question but as a statement. Even so, I nodded in answer. “Do you know who I am?” I shook my head. “I am the goddess you have worshiped this night. I am Carnage.”

“Hi...” I said in a small voice, making her smile.

“You have a way with words, child,” she teased.

“Sorry,” I apologized, looking down in shame.

“Do not apologize, young one,” she whispered, lifting my head. “It is a part of who you are, what makes you unique.”

She started to rise, lifting me up with her. She smiled at me once more before turning to see the other cultists. She held herself up tall as she made her way back to the bonfire, no longer roaring as it had been. Those she passed bowed, but did not kneel. When she reached the edge of the fire, she stopped and turned to once again face me.

“Tonight, my children, we celebrate! For we have helped your new brother remember!” she exclaimed to the crowd, as a roar of joy rose up from the other cultists. “Tomorrow, we celebrate once again, for I have returned to this beautiful and terrible world! Tomorrow, we will right was has been wronged, and rebirth the ugliness of the Allmother with her former beauty!”

“TILL THE DAWN!!!” a roar rose from the cultists, as if a battle cry had sung.

That night, I danced with my brothers and sisters, loved them as only I could, ate as I wished, and celebrated the return of Carnage.

[lo-lynx]

No cock = no sexuality? Geldings in ASOIAF

TW: Rape, violence, sexism, racism

Spoiler warning: Spoilers for all A Song of Ice and Fire books

“Lord Crow is welcome to steal into my bed any night he dares. Once he's been gelded, keeping those vows will come much easier for him."- Val, A Dance with Dragons, Jon XI

First of all, this is a great quote by Val. Second of all, I’ve noticed that this idea of gelding/castration to reduce/remove male sexuality occurs relatively often in ASOIAF. Before I go any further, I feel like I should clarify that one’s genitalia does not determine one’s gender. A person with a penis is not necessarily a man, and a man does not necessarily have a penis. However, both in our world and in the world of ASOIAF people insist on thinking that and tend to place quite a lot of significance in specifically penises. I’ve written before on this blog about eunuchs, masculinity, gender etc, so in this essay I want to look at that issue from another angle, namely the assumption that no cock = no sexuality.

A while back when I was doing research for this essay about Vary and masculinity, I came upon this quote from the book Eunuchs in Antiquity and Beyond:

Why were men castrated? Several reasons can be advanced: control and domination, punishment, political reasons, need for special qualities or abilities, religious, sexual or erotic reasons, and medical or health reasons. Some ancient writers emphasized that eunuchs were easier to control. (…) In the United States in recent years there have been several movements to castrate, either literally or chemically, individuals involved in sex crimes, especially those involving adults with children. (…) How effective physical castration is in preventing sex crimes is debatable, in spite of public belief to the contrary. (Bullough 2002, 5-7)

Now, I think we can all agree that sex crimes should be punished. But this quote made me think about the practice of castration/gelding as punishment as it occurs in ASOIAF, especially since this quote states that the effectiveness of this is debatable. When doing research for this essay I searched A Search of Ice and Fire for the word “gelded” and got 55 results. Now, loads of those were about gelded horses, but 21 are about gelding people. Of those 21 results I judged 13 to be about how gelding was being used as punishment (mainly for sex crimes), six about how gelding would be used as preventive measures against sex crimes (and two I didn’t know how to categorise). I’ll go into some of these instances here, as I try to explore what gelding as punishment/preventive measure against sex crimes says about the view on masculinity and male sexuality in ASOIAF.

Now, first some background on masculinity and male sexuality. I’ve written EXTENSIVLY before on how from antiquity until modern times for someone to be seen as a “real man” their body and sexual behaviour has had to fit certain criteria. If you want to read more on that, go read my essay on Varys. But briefly: to be a real man according to (Western) society (from Ancient Greece until now) you have to act manly (be strong, in control etc), have a penis, testicles, have penetrative sex (preferably with women), and father children (or at least be capable of fathering children). So, if you’re castrated you can’t be a “real man”? Well, according to Westerosi logic, the answer is pretty much no. (See this and this essay) The consequences of these masculine ideals are quite clear in ASOIAF, as for instance researcher Shiloh Carroll have pointed out:

Martin rejects the idea that chivalry created an ideal society where men fought only to protect their women or in grand, bloodless tournaments, instead creating a society in which chivalry is a thin veneer over a violent, toxic masculinity that victimizes men, women, and children alike. Martin’s Westeros does not reward chivalry, does not even really believe in chivalry as more than a masquerade behind which ‘true’ masculinity- violent, aggressive, and misogynist- hides. (2018, 56)

As Carroll also points out, one of the clearest examples of this is the prevalence of rape in the story. According to her, it seems as if most characters in story believe that most if not all men are capable of rape (ibid, 93). It also seems clear that most of the time, such crimes are not punished. But let’s look at some instances where it’s at least on the table:

A former slave came, to accuse a certain noble of the Zhak. The man had recently taken to wife a freedwoman who had been the noble's bedwarmer before the city fell. The noble had taken her maidenhood, used her for his pleasure, and gotten her with child. Her new husband wanted the noble gelded for the crime of rape, and he wanted a purse of gold as well, to pay him for raising the noble's bastard as his own. Dany granted him the gold, but not the gelding. "When he lay with her, your wife was his property, to do with as he would. By law, there was no rape." Her decision did not please him, she could see, but if she gelded every man who ever forced a bedslave, she would soon rule a city of eunuchs.

(A Dance with Dragons, Daenerys I)

 ‘King Stannis keeps his men well in hand, that's plain. He lets them plunder some, but I've only heard of three wildling women being raped, and the men who did it have all been gelded.’

(Jon in A Storm of Swords, Samwell IV)

 ‘Well now,’ the serjant said, ‘naked steel. Seems to me I smell an outlaw. You know what Lord Tarly does with outlaws?’ He still held the egg he’d taken from the cart. His hand closed, and the yolk oozed through his fingers.

‘I know what Lord Randyll does with outlaws,’ Brienne said. ‘I know what he does with rapers too.’

She had hoped the name might cow them, but the serjant only flicked egg off his fingers and signalled to his men to spread out. Brienne found herself surrounded by steel points. ‘What was it you were saying, wench? What is it Lord Tarly does to…’

‘…rapers,’ a deeper voice finished. ‘He gelds them or sends them to the Wall. Sometimes both. And he cuts fingers off thieves.’

(A Feast for Crows, Brienne III)

Now, the two first people on that list are people we as readers tend to sympathise with and think are good people most of the time. Randyl Tarly much less so. But what these quotes do show are that gelding as punishment for rape is widely accepted, both in Westeros and Essos (even if Dany doesn’t grant that punishment in that specific quote it seems clear that she wanted to and would in other circumstances). It’s also interesting to note how, in the passage about Lord Tarly’s punishment of rape, it is also noted that the punishment for theft is the cutting off of fingers. One can see a parallel here, with in both cases the ostensible guilty body part being cut off (with rape the genitalia, with thievery the fingers). This attitude to punishment can be seen as playing into the so called “disability as punishment trope”. Researcher Mia Harrison describes that trope thusly:

The ‘disability as punishment’ trope is one of the oldest disability tropes, with its roots stretching back to biblical and mythological narratives. The trope is frequently used in classical stories where characters are blinded as direct or implied punishment for wrongdoing such as the biblical Zedekiah and Tobit, Rhoecus and Phineus of Greek mythology, and Peeping Tom in the legend of Lady Godiva. (Harrison 2018, 29)

Now, while one might want to punish rapists, one should remember that it’s not clear that sure castration actually makes people less likely to rape again. So, we’re really just punishing people with a disability, and by doing that essentially saying that a disability is a punishment.

Now, as I mentioned earlier in this essay, there’s also several cases of what I’ve called “preventive gelding”. The most prominent of these are of course the Unsullied, but I want to begin with a quote from Jaime III in A Feast for Crows when he talks with Ser Bonifer Hasty, who have been tasked with holding Harrenhal:

He was sober, just, and dutiful, and his Holy Eighty-Six were as well disciplined as any soldiers in the Seven Kingdoms, and made a lovely sight as they wheeled and pranced their tall grey geldings. Littlefinger had once quipped that Ser Bonifer must have gelded the riders too, so spotless was their repute.

So, here, similarly to the quote from Val that started this essay, a joke is made about gelding men to make them not rape people. The whole premise of the joke that Jaime remembers is that men cannot possible control themselves, and their sexual lusts, if they still have their genitalia. But, as I said, the most prominent example of “preventive gelding” in the books are the Unsullied. Here, I will once again quote Mia Harisson, because while she analyses the show, not the books, her point still stands, and I simply cannot put it better than she does:

The Unsullied are the most normalized example of eunuchs in Game of Thrones. Children are sold from a young age to the Unsullied slavemasters, with males being trained as highly obedient soldiers. Their names are taken from them, instead being replaced with that of vermin such as ‘Red Flea’ and ‘Grey Worm’, and their genitals are removed in the final stages of training. They are described as having ‘absolute obedience, absolute loyalty’ (…) The Unsullied body is systemized into fragments that are categorized as ‘useful’ (the parts of the body can be used to fight) and ‘useless’ (the parts of the body that cannot. The slave master demonstrates the systemization of the Unsullied body by slicing off the nipple of one of his soldiers while explaining that ‘men don’t need nipples’. The Unsullied challenge notions of ‘able-bodied heterosexuality’ by considering the sexual, able body as not simply unnecessary, but an obstacle toward obedience (…) The Unsullied do not embody a masculine identity- they are not considered men at all. This is not to suggest, however, that the Unsullied should be considered positive examples of non-normative identity representation. Instead, they present a clear idea of what should be considered the ‘acceptable’ queer or disabled body: docile, compliant, and useful only in the service of others. (Harrison 2018, 38)

So, the idea of gelding the Unsullied is that they will be obedient, and that their bodies can be utilized in the most effective way. It is also clear in the books that one of the so called “perks” of the Unsullied is that they won’t rape and plunder, for instance:

‘Your Grace,’ said Jorah Mormont, ‘I saw King's Landing after the Sack. Babes were butchered that day as well, and old men, and children at play. More women were raped than you can count. There is a savage beast in every man, and when you hand that man a sword or spear and send him forth to war, the beast stirs. The scent of blood is all it takes to wake him. Yet I have never heard of these Unsullied raping, nor putting a city to the sword, nor even plundering, save at the express command of those who lead them. Brick they may be, as you say, but if you buy them henceforth the only dogs they'll kill are those you want dead.’ (A Storm of Swords, Daenerys II)

So, soldiers who won’t rape and plunder, sounds great, right? Well, the drawback is of course that the only way characters can see this happening is by pre-emptively gelding them. Now, this is hardly unique to ASOIAF, during antiquity slaves were also castrated because it was believed this made them easier to control (Bullough 2002, 6). During this time eunuchs were also often servants to women at court, perhaps most famously in harems (Llewellyn-Jones 2002, 34). In part this connection between women and eunuchs seems to have been because both women and eunuchs were considered “imperfect creatures and incomplete human specimens” since they lacked testicles (ibid). Both women and eunuchs were also seen as sexually available, due to their lower social standing than men, which was the case in Ancient Greece as well as in “the East” (for a longer discussion about sexuality during antiquity and how it relates to eunuchs, see my essay about Varys). It is important to note here, that the contemporary and Western view of harems as a space where women were locked up is not necessarily accurate to historical sources. As Llewellyn-Jones points out, harems could often just refer to groups of women, not necessarily places, or something that were out of bounds (note the similarity to the word “haram”). Women in these harems could also often have great influence over court life, in many ways similarly to the noblewomen of ASOIAF. But, in the Western orientalist fantasy, the idea of eunuchs guarding rooms filled with women just waiting to have sex with men, seems to have stuck.

I want to briefly touch on another aspect of this, which is the idea of the sexually (non-)threatening man of colour. Now, throughout history, people from outside of ones own ethnic group have generally been seen as threatening (I’m not even gonna provide a source for that). In the contemporary Global North, this figure of the dangerous Other is often seen specifically as the non-western person (Ahmed 2004). Specifically in contemporary US (as well as historical US of course), one of the forms this takes is the racist idea of the dangerous black man. In contemporary America (and across the world), one of the ways this becomes clear is of course in the racist killings of black people (so I hope you all have supported the Black Lives Matter movement in whatever way you can!). Another way is, as black feminist and scholar bell hooks has pointed out, the way black masculinity is portrayed in movies. The good black man, hooks writes, “not only accepts his subordinate status, he testifies on behalf of and exults in white male superiority. (…) [this] character shows no romantic interest in the white female hero. He is merely protecting.” (ibid, 108). Now, I am NOT saying that this the exact same as with the Unsullied. For one, the fictional space of Slaver’s Bay is not the exact same as the real-life United States (even if there are a lot of parallels between Slaver’s Bay and Reconstruction, as for instance Steven Attewell has pointed out) And Dany actively tries to change oppressive power structures. But I find it interesting some of Daenerys’ most loyal fighting forces, who is very clearly Eastern coded (even if they have different ethnicities) are described as completely incapable of being a sexual threat to her. This can be compared to for instance the Dothraki, who are constantly connected to rape and (sexual) violence. As others have noted, the way that the Dothraki are described often invoke Orientalist imagines of the ‘Other’ as sexually deprived, and dangerous (Carroll 2018, 121) While Dany have some loyal Dothraki followers who respect her as a khaleesi, as soon as she interacts with one that is not from her khalasar, she thinks that this person might rape her (i.e. A Dance with Dragons, Daenerys X). Now, one could argue that this doesn’t have to do as much with race/ethnicity as just the fact that most characters in ASOIAF seems to assume that all men are potential rapists. But the contrast between these Eastern men (the Dothraki and the Unsullied), and how they are portrayed, is interesting. The Dothraki are sexual, violent, and a threat to Dany and other women. The Unsullied are not sexual, and while they are violent, they are not a threat specifically to women. They’re just a weapon, controlled by others.

 So, in conclusion, gelding in ASOIAF seemingly takes place as a punishment for rape, and as a way to prevent rape. Both of these practices seem to assume two things; firstly, that being gelded works to prevent rape, and secondly, that this is the only (or at least the most effective) way to control male sexuality. The validity of both of these things can be questioned. For one, I would like to believe that it would be possible for men to not rape people without their genitalia being cut off. But also, genitalia are not necessarily needed for sex or sexual violence. People can get creative. The last point that I want to address here is whether this argument about masculinity and sexuality (and race/ethnicity) is something that GRRM believes, or if it’s just something his characters believes. I honestly don’t know. As Shiloh Carroll has pointed out (2018, 56), GRRM sometimes seemingly makes deliberate points about how medieval society wasn’t just filled with chivalry, but also (sexual) violence. Does that mean he believes that male sexuality is uncontrollable? Probably not. But since he tries to get the point across about the darker side of medieval society, and probably also pulls on historical ideas of geldings and eunuchs, it might come off like that. This is especially unfortunate, in my opinion, when it also plays into racialized tropes about the ethnic Other’s violent sexuality, that must be controlled.

 References

Ahmed, Sara. 2004. “On Collective Feelings, or the Impressions Left by Others”, Theory, Culture and Society, 20(1):25-42.

Attewell, Steven. 2015. “A Laboratory of Politics Part VI”, Tower of the Hand. January 15, 2015. https://towerofthehand.com/blog/2015/02/01-laboratory-of-politics-part-vi/noscript.html

Bullough, Vern L. 2002. “Eunuchs in History and Society”, in Eunuchs in antiquity and beyond, edited by Tougher, Shaun, 1-17. Swansea: The Classical Press of Wales.

Carroll, Shiloh. 2018. Medievalism in A Song of Ice and Fire and Game of Thrones. Cambridge: D.S. Brewer.

Harrison, Mia. 2018. “Power and Punishment in Game of Thrones.” In The Image of Disability: Essays on Media Representation, edited by JL Schatz & Amber E. George, 28-43. McFarland & Company: Jefferson.

hooks, bell. 1996/2009. Reel to Real: Race, Class, and Sex at the Movies. New York: Routledge.

Llewellyn-Jones, Lloyd. 2002. “Eunuchs and the royal harem in Achaemenid Persia (559-331 BC)”, in Eunuchs in antiquity and beyond, edited by Tougher, Shaun, 19-50. Swansea: The Classical Press of Wales.

Martin, George RR. 2011a. A Storm of Swords 2: Blood and Gold. Harper Voyager: London.

Martin, George RR. 2011b. A Feast for Crows. Bentam Books: New York.

Martin, George RR. 2012. A Dance with Dragons. Harper Voyager: London.

[surreal-honeypot]

Parkner Week Day One Title: Two Dumbasses Prompt: Identity Porn

Character Tags: Harley Keener, Peter Parker, background Tony Stark, mentions of Pepper Potts, mentions of Natasha Romanov

Relationship Tags: Harley Keener/Peter Parker, background Tony Stark/Pepper Potts, technically pre-slash

Additional Tags: Day One of Parkner Week, Parkner Week 2019, Identity Porn, Panic Attacks, It’s not super explicit, but be careful anyway, Minor angst, not Endgame compliant, not Infinity War compliant, and theres a mention that implies that its, not CACW compliant, but its a blink and you miss it type of thing, its not the best work I’ve done, but read it anyway

Summary: Harley had been trying a multitude of different ways to get Spider-Man to reveal his identity to him, all with varying amounts of success. In which Peter is tired, Harley is sneaky, and Tony is amused.

It wasn’t meant to end like this, Peter thought bitterly, looking down from giant net that he was currently trapped in, glaring down at the figure smirking below him.

Peter had imagined many ways for his most current conundrum to have ended, but this had never been a part of one of his daydreams, oddly enough. But of course, dramatic endings have dramatic beginnings.

I--II--II--III--II--II--I

“Oi, Parker! Did you hear?” Harley collapsed into the chair next to Peter, a manic grin on his face.

“Hear what?” Peter was dreading the answer, especially as he had a feeling he already knew.

“Spider-Man got hurt two days ago, and since then no one has sighted them. You know what this means?”

“That Spider-Man needed a break?”

“No! Well, yes, but that’s not what I meant.”

Peter raised an eyebrow, working to put all of his judgement into his expression. Harley had been obsessed with the identity of Spiderman ever since he came to New York a couple months before. Why, Peter wasn’t quite sure, but he did know that it was quite inconvenient for him.

Harley had been trying a multitude of different ways to get Spider-Man to reveal his identity to him, all with varying amounts of success. Harley’s most recent attempt had been to corner him. Peter wasn’t quite sure how Harley had been planning on accomplishing that, considering that he could walk on walls and was able to web sling, but he had shrugged it off, figuring that Harley couldn’t get into that much trouble.

Oh how wrong he was.

Mr. Stark always liked to claim that Peter gave him gray hairs and that he was a trouble magnet, but personally, Peter thought that Harley was far worse than he was.

In a single night, Harley had gone out to find Spider-Man, and nearly managed to get shot by showing up at the most inopportune moment, and then somehow followed him to the next crime scene (Peter had no clue how he had managed that, Harley definitely wasn’t fast enough to keep up with his web slinging) and managed to get a black eye and a shallow cut on his chest from where he had nearly been stabbed.

Peter had been one injury away from a heart attack.

“What this means is, if Spider-Man was injured enough to be out of the count for a few days, then the wound was probably bad enough to warrant a hospital trip! We’ve seen him get shot and run into burning buildings before, and still come out the next day mostly unscathed. So if his healing factor couldn’t take care of it overnight, then it was probably bad enough to warrant a hospital trip. Hospital trips mean hospital files.”

Peter stared flatly at the dumbass sitting across from him.

Now, it should be known that Peter is most definitely not used to being the voice of reason, but between the two of them, Peter most certainly didn’t do quite as many stupid things--even if Harley would refute that. Harley had this chaotic energy that Peter had been drawn to ever since he arrived, but unfortunately that chaos extended to his actions as well as his attitude. This means that Harley was unpredictable and as liable to be a dumbass as he was to be a smartass.

That having been said, Harley was quite easily one of the most intelligent people that Peter had ever met, and considering that he went to Smart Kid School™ and knew Tony Stark and Shuri, that was saying something. The logic used was sound, and technically Harley wasn’t completely wrong.

There were still dark bruises up and down Peter’s back that made him sore when he moved, but he probably could have gone out the night before if Mr. Stark had let him (“Pete, your wrist is fractured in two different places, you’re a giant bruise and you had a panic attack last night. You are not going patrolling. Aunt Hottie would kill me. FRIDAY, lockdown on the Spiderbaby.”).

Peter’s most recent villain, a large man who insisted on dressing up like a rhino--why did Peter always get the weird ones?-- had thrown a bridge at him. A bridge! While it wasn’t enough to kill Peter, it was enough to hurt him, and more importantly, it was enough to send him spiralling into a panic attack as he remembered the last time he had been surrounded on all sides by rubble, as the air in his lungs constricted, as--

Peter cut off that thought abruptly, taking a deep breath.

Mr. Stark had ended up carrying Peter back to the tower and getting him treated in the private medical wing. Because of this, Peter knew that Harley’s search of local hospitals wouldn’t bear fruit, but there was something a bit more pressing that Peter was wondering about.

“Assuming you’re going to do what I think you are, isn’t that, like, a major invasion of privacy?”

“Aw, c’mon Pete! Live a little!”

The irony. Peter carefully kept any expression off his face and stared at Harley, hoping to stare him into submission. Harley stared back.

“Do you have a better idea? If not, I’m going to continue on with my idea. Besides, I can just have Friday sort through them. Things like their approximate age, sex, and the type of injury.”

“I’ll tell Ms. Potts. You know how she’d feel about another PR incident.”

Harley gasped dramatically.

“You wouldn’t!”

“I won’t hesitate, bitch!”

“Tony would be on my side.” Harley muttered petulantly, rolling his eyes.

Peter personally wasn’t so sure about that, as while Mr. Stark probably wouldn’t care about the invasion of privacy, he did care about respecting Peter’s boundaries. But then, looking up random people’s hospital files wouldn’t exactly be violating Peter’s boundaries. So maybe Tony would--

Peter’s thought was rudely interrupted when Harley started speaking again.

“If you won’t let me violate people’s boundaries and you won’t tell me who Spider-Man is, then what do you suggest?”

Not for the first time, Peter considered just telling Harley that he was Spider-Man. When Harley first arrived, Peter hadn’t trusted Harley enough to tell him, but now they were friends--God, Peter wanted to be something more--and Harley already knew that Tony and Peter both knew Spider-Man. It wouldn’t be a huge jump to tell Harley.

The only thing stopping Peter at this point was pure and utter terror. They’d been friends for a couple months now, and it had gotten so that Peter got increasingly anxious every time he even thought of telling Harley his secret. Mr. Stark had told Peter in the beginning that Harley was trustworthy, that it would be easier to just get it out of the way. And Mr. Stark was right. Not that Peter would ever tell him that.

Peter knew that the longer he held it off, the worse it would be, the more upset Harley would be with him. He knew that, damn it!

In the same way, Peter knew that if Harley kept on going the way he was, he would figure it out eventually even without Peter telling him. Peter knew he would have been found out when Harley had tried to corner him if it wasn’t for the voice modulator and his attempt at a quick exit, and he would have been found out before that when Harley had tried to hack Mr. Starks files if Mr. Stark hadn’t actively kept him out.

Peter knew all of that, and yet.. He couldn’t bring himself to tell Harley.

It was because of this, that Peter agreed to help Harley catch Spider-Man. He just hadn’t been expecting it to work.

That was how he got into the mess that he was in currently.

Mr. Stark would laugh his ass off when he heard about this. Peter could just imagine the I Told You So’s now. Sigh. I--II--II--III--II--II--I Harley was laughing his ass off.

Peter was such a dumbass.

I never thought it would end like this, Harley thought gleefully, looking up at the caught Spider-Man.

“Well? Are you going to let me out?” Harley looked up at Peter--ahem, Harley looked up Spider-Man with a shit eating grin on his face.

“Now, why would I ever want to do that?” This was priceless.

Peter glared at Harley through the mask, his eye goggles narrowing. Harley would never tell him this--that was a blatant lie, he would 100% tell Peter this--but he didn’t look any less like a drowned kitten when he was an angry Spider-Man than he did while he was an angry Peter Parker.

Adorable.

Peter must have seen something on Harley’s face, because his eyes narrowed further, making it look like he was squinting and he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Now then, Spidey. I have you caught in my net, my web if you will. Now, you will tell me what I wish to know!” Harley decreed dramatically, making a fist and raising it in the air as if he was a mobster in one of the books Nat liked so much but pretended to hate.

Harley was expecting a bit of resistance, for how much Peter had tried to keep the secret from him, so he was somewhat surprised when Peter just sighed and nodded before peeling off his mask.

“Huh. I was expecting that to be harder.”

“That’s all you have to say? You’re not surprised at all?”

“Nope.”

“Not even a little bit?”

“Peter, I love you, but you’re really bad at keeping secrets. I’ve known since a few days after I got here.” Harley froze as he realized what he said, before desperately hoping that Peter took it the wrong way. Friends tell each other they love each other all the time, this was just like that, right?

This was not just like that. Harley had been pining after Peter ever since he saw him, and before that he had been pining over Spider-Man. When he first came to New York, he had genuinely had plans to unmask him, and (if in the right age range and cute) woo him.

Those plans came to a halt when Harley met Peter, before immediately starting up again once he saw the suit lying on Peter’s bedroom floor. To Harley, it had been a race to see if he could unmask Peter before Peter told him, or if Peter would tell him first. It had been a race that Harley was expecting to lose, but then months passed by without a word, despite what Harley had thought was the best friendship he’d ever had developing, despite the fact that Harley did not try to keep it a secret in any way whatsoever that he was trying to find out Spider-Man’s identity.

And it had hurt a little bit, to know that Harley was trusting Peter with more and more of himself every single day, while Peter only gave one facet of himself to Harley. Harley waited it out though, forced himself to be patient, only for this extremely anti-climatic moment.

To put it lightly, Harley was a bit upset.

“If you knew all along, why didn’t you confront me about it? Or more importantly, why did you keep trying to unmask me?” Peter studiously ignored the works “Peter, I love you, but…” ringing in his ears. Despite that, he was one hundred percent certain that there was a tomato red blush covering Peter’s cheeks.

“Nuh-uh. I’m not the one captured in a net here. I’m the one who get’s to ask questions, thank you very much.”

“Alright. Shoot.”

Harley hesitated.

“Why-” Harley paused again, not sure how to word--how to say--the question without sounding vulnerable, before he decided fuck it.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Peter was silent for a long moment. Anxiety was starting to creep up Harley’s throat when Peter started to speak, his voice quiet and more serious than Harley had ever heard it.

“Did you know that I never told my Aunt May, who I’ve been living with since I was four years old? The only reason she found out was because she came in while I was taking the suit off.”

Peter went quiet. Before Harley could reply, Peter continued.

“Did you know that my best friend, the only friend I really had from Kindergarten until Sophomore year, didn’t find out until he saw me crawling in through my window while waiting for me to get home? Did you know that I never told Mr. Stark either, but that he put the pieces together and then showed up in my living room. I’ve never told anyone, Harley.

“But I wanted too. When you first arrived, Mr. Stark told me I should just out and tell you, that it would be easier in the long run. And he was right. Of course he was right. But I didn’t know you, and then we became friends, and I liked you so much, and then suddenly I realized that it was too late. It would seem weird if I told you, after we had been friends for so long and you have made so many attempts to find out Spider-Man’s identity. And I was afraid. I was so so afraid that you would hate me. And-”

Harley cut off Peter’s rambling by taking down the trap, letting Peter fall to the floor still in the net.

“You dumbass,” Harley mumbled, reaching into the net to grab Peter’s hand and pull him up and then hugging him to his chest, hoping that this wouldn’t make things weird.

Peter stood stiffly, trying to ignore the bruises that had suddenly made their presence known once again as he hugged Harley back. They were all that was left of the bridge incident thanks to his healing factor, but falling to the floor in a net didn’t feel the best.

“Pete? You’re standing weird.”

“Oh, its nothing, don’t worry about. I just had a bridge dropped on me the other day--”

Harley’s face went pale as the implications hit him and he flung himself away from Peter, his eyes roaming up and down Peter’s body, trying to find the injuries. Harley had known Peter was Spider-Man for months now. Why hadn’t he realized that the aches and pains that Spider-Man acquired were Peter’s as well?

“Hey, it’s fine. Look, see? I’m fine. I only have a few bruises, and I got out of it okay, right? Harley?”

Harley took a deep breath before hugging Peter again, an intense fear coating his insides. When Harley had first found out, he could only think about how convenient it was that both his crushes were the same person, and after that his thoughts shifted to how he could woo Peter (which he had admittedly not gotten very far on) and more importantly, get Peter to trust him enough to tell him the big secret. He had never really thought about what happened when Peter went out, because it was Peter. Peter was Peter, it had never really actually occured to Harley that it was Peter going and fighting thugs and kicking ass.

Sure, Peter was Spider-Man, and Spider-Man fought the bad guys, but and although Harley had connected points A and B, and points B and C, he had never actually connected A and C. Whenever he saw Peter after he'd been out Spider-Manning, he'd never seemed all that injured. What if Peter had died out there?

This firmed Harley’s resolve. Peter wouldn’t die without Harley asking him out, without Harley giving it his best shot.

“I really like you. Do you want to go out?”

Peter pulled back slightly, a surprised look on his face as he met Harley’s eyes, before a warm smile swept across his face.

“I’d like that.”

Harley smiled. I--II--II--III--II--II--I Peter was right. Tony did laugh his ass off when he heard what happened.

[darkspine10]

Dipcifica - Top & Tail

Top & Tail (4129 words) by darkspine10

Chapters: 1/2 Fandom: Gravity Falls Rating: General (but full version is Explicit) Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Dipper Pines/Pacifica Northwest Additional Tags: College AU, Awkward Sexual Situations, Banter Summary:  Dipper and Pacifica are forced into a tight situation on a college trip. Sharing a narrow single bed, sparks will fly, and both of them will try to overcome the other.

*

For an upcoming extended version, featuring NSFW scenes, see the AO3 version of the fic :)

*

"This cannot be allowed. There must be some mistake."

 Dipper rolled his eyes again. That must be about the twentieth time she’d said it. Pacifica was now pacing back and forth, getting more and more wound up.

 “I mean, how does this happen? The college booked the trip months ago!”

 “I guess there was just a mix-up or something.” He shrugged, knowing it would do little to calm her down. That wasn’t Pacifica’s way of doing things. She’d complain all evening if she thought it would fix a bad outcome.

 “But it’s outrageous! Making us all share rooms, that’s one thing, but this…” She stared unbelievingly at the narrow bed in the middle of the cold hotel room. “It’s barely big enough for one of us! And they expect us to share?! I did not sign up for co-ed roommates.”

 “No, you signed up for skiing and sightseeing, am I right?” He stretched out on the bed, tired from the lengthy flight to Helsinki and wanting nothing more than to end this debate and go to sleep. “If it’s too much trouble you could always sleep on the floor.”

 “Yeah right,” Pacifica shot back, tapping her boot on the solid wood. She pressed down on the mattress, testing the softness. It was decent enough, she supposed, but not nearly big enough to fit the two of them. Not like she was planning on actually going through with that. “Maybe I can go switch rooms or something.”

 Dipper sat up in the bed and faced her. “No offence, Pacifica, but don’t think you’ll get many volunteers.”

 Since leaving for college the rich girl had made few friends. Away from home her family’s influence had no effect, so her cold and domineering nature ended up isolating her from most circles. Dipper was actually one of the few people she cared to hang around with, simply because he was someone familiar. And the generally socially inept Dipper hadn’t complained about having someone talk too, since he too was a self-admitted loner. Pacifica was intelligent, he had to admit, and though they often sparred, they tolerated each other well enough. It was at least brighter company than spending all his time alone or visiting his sister.

 “We sat together on the plane,” he added, trying to explain himself. “I think the professors just assumed we were fine going in the same room.”

 Pacifica, in the process of taking off her expensive high-heeled fur boots, pointed a bare foot daintily at the bed. “Well I am not fine sharing that.”

 “Yeah, I remember you have problems with ‘Shar-ring’,” Dipper enunciated teasingly. He didn’t see what the whole issue was anyway. Shrugging again, he lightly pushed her foot away with one finger, not failing to notice the pink nail polish and recent pedicure. "We can just top and tail. I used to do it with Mabel on trips all the time."

 "Yeah but you're siblings. And weirdly close ones too." She eyed the bed contemptuously, as if she could intimidate into suddenly sprouting a second copy of itself. Exhaling deeply, she finally threw up her arms in defeat. “Fine. Whatever. Now help my unpack the rest of my stuff.”

 “I’m not one of your servants, Northwest. Lug your own case in.”

 “Ugh, you’re trying my patience, Pines.” Dipper didn’t budge, smirking at the fact that she already knew he wasn’t going to move a muscle to help her. She ducked back out into the hallway, then returned dragging a cumbersome, bright pink suitcase on its rollers.

 When she’d originally arrived at the college in the early hours of the morning, where they were waiting for the coach to take them to the airport, she’d astonishingly had four more cases of varying sizes. He’d delighted in watching her agonise over which stuff to leave behind when she found out about the limited cargo space on the flight. It made his single small backpack fell downright spartan in comparison.

 Pacifica finished shifting the case into their room. Her attitude was still sour, as evidence by how she was staring down her nose at him, incensed that she’d had to put in physical effort for once.

 “What do you even keep in that thing?” Dipper asked, with a mixture of highlighting her absurdity and genuine curiosity.

 “I have standards, Pines, you wouldn’t understand. Just cause the only thing you ever bring with you is that dumb journal of yours. And that.” She pointed to his chest, where a bulky polaroid camera hung down from around his neck.

 “What about my camera? My course is all about that after all, you should expect me to actually like photography. I know your concerns are above those of us poor ordinary people but have some common sense.”

 She sidled over to him and examined the camera closely. It was clear she wasn’t impressed, and let it hang back limply. “I think you spend too much time taking snapshots or writing in that book. You need to live in the moment more.”

 “Unlike you?”

 “Yes, unlike me,” she replied indignantly. “Architecture is a serious profession, not a distraction like whatever you get up to”

 “Bet you just use it as an excuse to waste time doodling though.” He shook his head. “Anyway, back to the point, I like to travel light. Less junk to weigh me down. Not like I need much, only the bare essentials.”

 “Which I notice doesn’t include any bathroom products.” She wrinkled her nose at him. “Ever heard of personal hygiene?”

 “I don’t like wasting time in the shower, ok? I let the natural cleansing properties of water do the job.”

 Pacifica laughed uproariously at him, and even Dipper had to agree he was reaching somewhat to justify his laziness. “Oh, that’s a good one Pines. You’re borrowing some of my stuff tonight, that’s a requirement.” She unzipped a section of her case and offered it to him. “Take your pick.”

 Bending over to look inside, he saw a selection of dozens of interchangeable bottles. Hair gels, shampoo and conditioner for her long, blonde hair, body wash, she had it all and Dipper couldn’t tell which of any of them he’d need. To avoid looking like a complete fool in front of Pacifica, he just grabbed the first one at random and hoped it would suffice.

 He turned the bottle over in his hand, deciding that since she’d been uncharacteristically generous he should show some courtesy. "I suppose I should go wash. I did kind kinda sweaty on the flight. Especially since it looks like we definitely will be-"

 "Don't say it!"

 "-sleeping together," he finished obliviously.

 Pacifica rubbed her eyelids and tried to avoid her roommate’s gaze. "Ugh, don't say it like that. You make it sound like we’ll be... getting up to stuff"

 "Now you've lost me." He ignored Pacifica and pulled out his phone. Maybe his sister could translate the fancy French written on the bottle of shampoo and tell him what it was. As he was making his way to the en-suite though, he had the realisation of what exactly Pacifica had meant. “Oh, wait a minute! ‘Getting up to stuff’, you mean…“

 “Please shut up.”

 Dipper gave a short, sharp laugh. “You totally meant succumbing to my masculine charms."

 “Puh-lease, Pines. You’re about as manly as an actual block of wood. Like I'd ever stoop to your level."

 "Oh, I wouldn't deign to inconvenience you, Princess." He gave a mock bow, theatrically bending over and unfurling a hand to offer to Pacifica.

 “Don’t call me that!” She slapped the hand away. “This isn’t a joke; I have a reputation to uphold.”

 “And what? If people hear that a Northwest dared to even spend time in the company of a commoner? Shocker.”

 “You are such a dork.” Unfazed by his act, she shook her head and tried to finish her unpacking. “Please let’s just try to act like mature adults. We’ll get through tonight, then tomorrow, then whatever comes next. With a minimum of fuss.”

 “Hey Pacifica?” As she turned her head, she saw him in the doorway of the bathroom, camera raised and aimed right at her face. “Smile and say cheese!” The priceless look of shock and outrage he captured in her eyes made the photo a sure-fire keepsake for his collection. Getting through the rest of the night was certainly going to be an interesting ordeal.

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Unable to sleep, Dipper tossed over in the bed once again, facing towards Pacifica. Somehow she’d fallen asleep in mere minutes. But for him, the cold air and tight space made it hard for him to relax and drift off. Then there was the problem of his companion.

 As he settled again in position, he tried to minimise his movements. Every time he made the slightest adjustment to the sheets, the rustling sound that resulted was like an atomic bomb going off. He could barely hear Pacifica’s breaths, they were so shallow, but any noise felt like it would wake her up.

 He tried to distract himself, to tell his brain that he was being irrational and to go to sleep. Stop overreacting, she isn’t going to suddenly wake up now, he should just accept the situation and not worry. That only made him focus more on the minute sounds of Pacifica’s breathing.

 He was hyper-aware of anything that might disturb her. Having to endure a rant about disturbing her beauty sleep was the last thing he needed. They had to be up early tomorrow to go with the group on a daytrip to some island in the bay, staying up all night fretting was only going to make him tired and irritable.

 Then he settled on something in the corner of his eye. Poking out of the end of the duvet, Pacifica’s feet were exposed to the air. He noticed her nail polish, and how sharp her toenails were. He had no idea why anyone would care enough to put that much effort into prettying up their feet. Would be a big waste of time in his mind.

 A wicked thought ran through his head. Not sure if it was a smart idea or if he was just too sleep deprived to think straight, he wriggled an arm free of the sheets. One thing he knew about Pacifica was that she was incredibly ticklish. The lightest feather touch could set her off laughing. He could reach out and do it right now.

 Maybe it would be satisfying to get some payback for all the teasing earlier? It might be worth it merely to see the look on her face; she did always have the funniest over-the-top reactions. He couldn’t deny the desire to give her the taste of her own medicine. See how she feels when she’s forced awake in the dead of night. After that at least he wouldn’t have to worry about making too much noise.

 Hovering over the sole of a foot, he prepared to apply the gentlest caress possible. His fingers brushed against her skin, then in an instant her entire body shook with a thunderous force. A burst of awkward laughter erupted from her lips as she jerked awake. Dipper chuckled to himself but regretted it moments later.

 Pacifica’s feet shot out, reacting to his tickles. Her lovingly pedicured toenails, sharpened to razors, rammed right into his eye sockets. Dipper cried out in pain and fell backwards out of the bed. “Holy shit! My eyes!”

 Pacifica, finally free of the uncontrollable spasms, flicked on the bedside lamp, and turned an accusing gaze at Dipper, sprawled out on the floor. “What the hell did you just do?!”

 A hand clutched to his face, he muttered, “Still getting over being jabbed by your talons, that’s all.”

 “My what?” She wriggled her toes, then angrily curled them up under the duvet. “You are such a jerk. What did you think would happen?”

 “Hey, at least I made you laugh.” He winked, but the joke went down like a steel balloon under her steely gaze.

 “Get back into bed, dummy. Some of normal people us are trying to sleep.”

 “No way, nuh-uh,” he protested loudly. Jumping to his feet, he pointed to the head of the bead. “I am not sleeping opposite those weapons anymore. I’d like to not go blind, thanks.”

 “Ugh, if you’re gonna be such a baby about it…” Pacifica’s head disappeared under the covers, then there was a noisy rummaging. Her head showed up again at the opposite end of the bed. “You really wanna do this Pines? Cause I can handle your immaturity up close.”

 Cautious, Dipper climbed back into bed, face to face with his upset roommate. He pulled the covers over so both their bodies were snugly pressed together under them.

 “Happy now?”

 “Sure, it’s just a little… tight.” They both blushed at the implication.

 Pacifica’s eyes darted away from his. “Now, go to sleep Pines. And don’t make me regret letting you back in the bed.” Her eyes closed again, preparing to resume whatever dream had been in progress before.

 “Nighty night… Princess,” Dipper couldn’t help but snigger.

 Pacifica let out an angry groan, but kept her eyes resolutely shut. She was trying to get back to sleep but her breathing was heavier than before. Dipper knew she wouldn’t easily fall asleep again while she was annoyed at him. He closed his own eyelids for a moment, but as before couldn’t find a way to peacefully rest.

 A shiver ran up Pacifica’s body. He thought at first he must have accidently skimmed against her, setting off her ticklishness again. But then her body shook again, and he realised it was simply cold. Despite the temperatures outside being so low, and the room providing little insulation, she was only wearing a thin pink sleep shirt and cotton shorts. Her bare legs felt frigid up against him.

 Her bare feet suddenly stood out as a glaring aberration. Realising that she must have left her warmer pyjamas in one of her other cases that she’d had to leave behind, he felt slightly guilty towards her.

 “Hey, psst, Pacifica.” He didn’t get a reply, so lightly tapped her side with a finger.

 “Shh.” She kept her eyes resolutely shut and pulled her pillow over her ears. “Go to sleep, Pines.”

 “I wanted to let you know, you can borrow some of my winter socks if you’re cold. I packed spares, it’s the least I could do for you.”

 “I’m not taking handouts from you, I’m fine as I am,” she said, despite clutching the covers tighter to herself. That was Pacifica’s way, she would rather freeze that concede any weakness.

 Dipper still felt bad about her situation, so tried to come up with another option. “We could huddle together? You know, like penguins, combine our body heat?”

 Pacifica begrudgingly opened her eyes. “Do you want me to smother your face with this pillow?”

 “I was only trying to help,” he muttered irritatedly.

 “Yeah, well don’t. I can look after myself. I’m not some helpless damsel. Now: Go. To. Sleep.”

 She was about to try yet again to close her eyes, but Dipper suddenly blurted out something. “Unless you’re still afraid of getting up to stuff with me?” There was a small red glow on his cheeks, but he had a determined smirk nonetheless. “Face it, you can’t stand the thought of me lying here next to you.”

 “Oh, now it’s personal.” She lined herself up, so she was staring eye to eye with Dipper. “First one to blink loses. We’ll see who chickens out first. That’ll show you which of us is intimidated by the other.”

 “You’re on.” Intending to take her on and win, Dipper adjusted himself so he was comfortable, then stared deep into her sapphire eyes. She did the same, turning her piercing gaze upon his hazel eyes. Locked in opposition, they steeled themselves to outlast the other.

 They’d often played this kind of game before, competing in minor ways to annoy each other. Seeing who could answer the most study questions in a set time or dinging the other if they were ever late to classes. Pacifica’s competitive streak was a mile-wide, drilled into her by her parents’ mandate to always overachieve, while Dipper didn’t like to tolerate her smug superiority complex. That meant that on average the pair usually ended up drawing in their small victories.

 Dipper realised he’d been staring at her eyes for some time now. Neither of them had budged yet. Though his eyes stayed wide open, they drifted somewhat from Pacifica’s as he started to waver slightly. As his gaze fell upon the copious amounts of dark purple eyeshadow she wore, his thoughts started to drift too.

 Who wears makeup to bed? Like her neatly kept toes, what was the point if nobody would see her this way? Her was hair though, that was one aspect of her appearance she seemed to have lost control off, messily sprawled out. It was a rare glimpse at seeing her in a halfway dishevelled state.

 A whiff of her shampoo floated past him, carrying the strong, sweet scent of champagne and roses. Hyper-awareness of his surroundings returned, but this time it was more about Pacifica than his own movements. They were so close together; they could even feel each other's breaths intermingling in the small space between them.

 Wheels turned slowly in Mason’s mind. Perhaps it was the tiredness from the flight and being kept up all night, but he felt like he was running in slow motion. But as he stared and stared at Pacifica’s face he became more and more captivated by what he saw.

 This was ridiculous. It was Pacifica Northwest for crying out loud. The most self-centred person he’d ever met. A pampered sorority brat who constantly argued with him. Now though, in the dim light, an odd sensation rose in his chest. A sensation of desire. He had the urge to lean forwards, to bridge the minute gap between them…

 Maybe he was drunk off her hair or something like that. That could be the only explanation for why he was suddenly overwhelming drawn to the girl lying opposite.

 “What’s the matter Pines? Losing your nerve?”

 Shit. It was like she’d read his mind, easily figuring out his mood had changed. He couldn’t hide the crimson blush flooding across his cheeks or the thin layer of sweat starting to form. She raised a single eyebrow to express her insight, making him crumble like tissue paper.

 “I- uh- that is to say-“ He gulped, hoping she’d think he’d given up and would declare herself the winner of the little contest. Anything to get her out of his head. Deep breaths, Dipper, he forced himself to remember. “I was just distracted by something, ok?”

 “Oh.” Instead of the expected reaction, she too blushed now, though as with all things kept a better level of composure. Actually I was kind of distracted too.” This caught him off guard. What about him could she possibly be interested in? Then he saw her gaze wander upwards and he understood.

 “This?” He lifted his hair out of his forehead, slowly exposing his unique birthmark. The strange arrangement of spots that perfectly formed the constellation of Big Dipper. He sighed and rolled his eyes. “What, you think it’s weird or funny? Go ahead, make some petty remark, I can take it.”

 Pacifica frowned, thought not in an angry way. More like he was interpreting her wrong. “I’ve never really got a good look up close at it before, that’s all. May I?” She reached forward to touch his forehead, hesitating when he recoiled slightly. He didn’t have far to go in the cramped bed though, not if he didn’t want to fall out again.

 Relenting, he held up his hands. “I guess you can have a quick look. Why though? It’s just a rare thing I have, nothing special.”

 “I don’t think that.” Her hand delicately moved his hair aside. For second she halted, then he allowed her to continue and she stroked her fingers across the birthmark. Her touch was electric, sending chills down his body. No-one had ever gotten close enough to actually feel the birthmark. “It gave you your nickname,” Pacifica added, “that’s gotta count for something. ”

 Normally he hated when people noticed or talked about his birthmark. They would either react in horror or have a sort of morbid curiosity. Either way it marked him as a freak. Never before had anyone been genuinely curious and sensitive about in this way.

 It surprised him coming from Pacifica of all people. Sensitivity wasn’t her usual style. Maybe she knew something about intimacy and vulnerability though. In her daily life she put up a façade to most of the world, a mask that rarely slipped. Yet he knew underneath there were things she didn’t like sharing. Like keeping her videogaming habit to herself or getting embarrassed if people heard her singing. Safeguards to prevent her parents’ from discovering anything they deemed ‘improper’, most likely.

 He wondered why this was happening. Why she was acting more caring towards him, and why he didn’t mind having her enter his most sacrosanct personal space. Pacifica wasn’t the sort of the person who was easy to like. She was snooty and elitist and cold at times.

 She had flaws in her personality that people steered away from. Her biting wit, which he often clashed with, her competitive drive. To him those aspects didn’t seem so bad right now. They just showed that she was a quick thinker, somebody confident in her abilities and unwilling to back down. Qualities he admired.

 If she was willing to treat with him with such respect regarding the concealed oddity on his forehead, perhaps he was right to trust her. She'd consented to this sleeping arrangement after all. Despite all the pretentions, under the rough exterior she did consider him an honest friend.

 And what an exterior it was. The upside to her over-indulgences in beauty regimes meant that she had a constant dazzling appearance that often turned heads. The luscious blonde hair, her sultry lips, those sparkling eyes. Though she was tired and unprepared, even now he found her looks so enticing.

 Under the covers, his hand traced the smooth curves of her hips. As with her exploration of his birthmark, she didn’t protest at all. In fact, her hand descended from his birthmark to cup his cheek. The soft smoothness of her skin stood out, frozen as it was.

 The intensity of their close breaths was heightened like never before, as Dipper’s rate stepped up noticeably. His heart was beating faster and he felt nearer to Pacifica now. He fixed his gaze back in her eyes, then asked the obvious question. “What exactly is happening here?”

 A warm smile shone back at him. “I think, maybe… we both lost the staring competition.” Pacifica’s other hand grabbed at his chocolate locks, pulling him across the last, tiny gap separating them. Their heavy breathing was finally interrupted when he pressed his lips forcefully to hers. She seemed surprised by his boldness, but then leant into it, gripping his head close.

 Dipper’s pushed his way further into her mouth, and their two tongues wrestled and danced around each other. At last he came up for air, gasping for only a second before Pacifica leapt at him again. She rolled on top of him, freeing up space in the bed and tightening their budding connection. Dipper’s hands made their way to her hips, supporting her above him.

 Though he deeply desired to continue just as they were, kissing passionately, he had an impulsive idea. “Hold on Paz, just a second.” He laid her back down on her side, then groped in the darkness on his bedside table. She looked at him, concerned why he wanted to stop, then understood when held his polaroid camera aloft. “Smile for me, please?”

 He wanted to capture this moment, this tentative blossoming between them, to keep as a permanent reminder. Pacifica understood that keenly, so snuggled up beside him in view of the lens. A quick flash, and it was done, recorded on celluloid forever.”

 As soon as the flash faded, Pacifica snatched the camera away from him and put it away. “Now, enough of that. Where were we?”

 Side by side, the two previously reluctant roommates returned to exploring their new relationship. It was the start of something, a potential beginning that neither knew where it could lead. With their bodies squeezed up against one another, their hearts aflame, the cold atmosphere of the room would no longer be a problem for either of them.

[ninjagoat]

Notes on Supergirl 3x14

[SPOILERS AHEAD]

I've been annoyed with the show for a while now. Season three came out of the gate with four solid eps, and then draaaagged for another seven; before finally putting things back in order: slamming a season's worth of Lena's 'development' into reverse so she can actually have her own worldview and agenda once again; giving the Legion a hidden agenda so they actually have some narrative juice; giving Alex and Kara a genuine ideological conflict for the first time since... I can't remember, and actually having a plan for the World-killers because of it; and, important to me especially, the re-emergence of Winn as a recognised problem-solver.

Which brings us to 3x14, a MASSIVE episode for Winn, and, in terms of scale, a massive episode in general: the two major action sequences are of a kind you'd expect from a season finale; they've landed a *recent* Academy Award Nominee for a guest star; there's a frank discussion of later-life mental illness, and an insight into J'onn's specific attitude toward his adopted race; and a hilarious sequence of our heroes just... hanging out.

In short, in just a few episodes (which, by sheer coincidence, would all have finished being scripted *after* AK was suspended and fired for being a mediocre sex-pest)... they fixed the show.

THEY FIXED THE DAMN SHOW.

Notes below the cut (it’s a long post this week):

- "People being addressed as soldiers going into battle before actually just trying something fun and silly" is one of my favourite tropes, and that look Winn and Kara exchange is one of the best indicators of their long-standing friendship we've seen in a long time (Winn is, of course, Kara's best friend. You many have heard her give statements to the contrary. THESE ARE LIES).

- The choice to have the characters, all played by actors who can sing, do 'karaoke voice' instead of their actual voices is a good one. Having Kara do Beastie Boys side-steps the whole 'we've heard her sing' problem; J'onn and Mr. J are both wonderfully appalling; and Alex letting the lyrics of her ballad run on as she stops to drink is, as the kids say, a Mood (I'll come back to Mon-El and Winn at the end).

- THERE ARE *STILL* NO ALIENS AT THE ALIEN BAR. WHAT HAPPENED TO KEVIN? OR BRIAN?

- James's constant need for validation crashing against Lena's particular brand of emotional - and literal - unavailability is a good choice; we've not really seen James's interest in Lena manifest outside of her needs until now, and it's the first time he's had a relatable problem since 1x06. And pairing him up with Mon-El for this scene - who's having his own issues right now - is nice.

- Speaking of which, Imra's telepathy: is this the show telling us she definitely *doesn't* have mind-control powers, or that Mon-El - currently not the most reliable expert on the Legion - doesn't *know* she has mind-control powers?

- "FELLOW DRUNKS!"

- I'll admit, James was my least favourite option for who could be Winn's emotional support in this episode, given his long history of being really quite bad at it; but in this first scene, he's actually pretty good, providing Winn with the avenues he needs to avoid the old-school masculinity coping methods he's trying to use instead.

- Winn making ABSOLUTELY SURE that his Winslow's dead, even before they tried to put him in the ground, is on point.

- Mary. MARY. The writers knew they had Tony-award-winning Steppenwolf alum Laurie Metcalf on board, and it SHOWS. She's nervous and tentative, but she's also forthright; she takes over the space when she feels she ought to (a lot of her funnier asides could have been put in Cat Grant's mouth with no problem), and physically, tangibly awkward when she doesn't; and Metcalf runs through the gear changes as only a pro of her stature can. In her first scene, she's anxious, yes, and she's having difficulty separating Winn from the little boy she left behind; but it's also clear that THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF HER LIFE, even if it isn't her son's. Mary is a catalyst for Winn's pain, but has a whole existence outside of it. That's good writing, that is.

- Speaking of Winn's pain... DEAR. LORD. That story goes toe-to-toe with any crappy parent story you've ever heard (and blows all of Lena's solipsistic crap out of the water); and Jeremy Jordan, having done so much with so little every week, completely sells that this is a story he's been waiting two decades to tell, and how being left alone with no-one to be *except* his father's son absolutely broke him.

- The Flying Monkeys sequence is the best action scene this show's ever done. Better than Reign. Better than Crossfire. And again, Mary and Winn: every time they're not focused on the time they've spent apart, it's almost like they were never apart at all.

- Winn calling out James for suggesting he forgive Mary is absolutely on point; and James admitting that he was a selfish, sulky little brat after his Dad died as an argument of how it could have been just as bad if she'd stayed is interesting (James is making it up to her now, though, by... never going home for a single holiday. Ever. Still, baby steps). His argument will also end up applying, subtextually, to his relationship with Lena; stop being ungrateful for the time she's not there for you, and just be happy for the time that she is. It's what she needs you to do. She's got her own stuff going on.

- "He doesn't always get the credit, but he keeps us going around here." Kara's gentle tribute to her friend (her BEST friend) and the adaptive, outside-the-box thinking that's been keeping everyone alive for years is wonderful; not just for what she says, but for how comfortable a rapport she has with Mary, while never forgetting that being told how great her son is by *Supergirl* is as good, if not better, than hearing it from the President herself (and if Mary needs that... it could be arranged).

- On a downer note, anytime a show starts talking about a side character as the "heart of the team" or somesuch... it's usually not a good sign for that character.

- I'm not ready to go into Mr. J's illness yet. I have a personal relationship to stories like this, and I can't write about it in this format. But Carl Lumbly is still ABSOLUTELY the best.

- And I'm not the person to get into J'onn's opinion on his own blackness; except to say, in a week when David Harewood met with British MPs to discuss the 'accidental' deportations of the Windrush migrants, this is a BIG DEAL.

- Since I'm doing asides into side plots: Mon-El and Kara. His apology - agenda-free this time - is honest and heart-felt, and his full disclosure about *why* he's apologising now raises interesting questions: at what point is this honesty defined as over-sharing? Where is the line drawn between being 'open about your feelings' and 'demanding emotional labour from others'? Kara has a firm boundary - they are *not* going to talk about his marriage - and he respects that. But should he have told her about it in the first place, even if it does lead in to the new information about the World-killers? I've said before: Supergirl is the only show with a significant male audience that, whether you believe it should or not, actually tackles questions of what healthy masculinity *should* be (albeit with varying degrees of success), and it's good that they're keeping it up.

- Mary's story is not only an important reminder that the men who commit mass-murder often begin by terrorising the women in their own homes; but also, in the context of Childish Things, addresses Winn's misunderstanding of his own fears. Winn has always believed that his father was a good person, until one day, when he just wasn't; and Winn believed that any time he didn't keep a lid on his own anger, any time that he might use that part of himself to stand up and say 'no' against those that would hurt him, the same would happen to him. But Winslow Sr. wasn't a good person. It took a long time for his anger to consume him, a long time for his battles against perceived slights to affect anyone except Mary. Winn has little to worry about.

- And her decision to take the gun and take on Toywoman(?) alone is immediate, consistent, and believable. She's been without her son for twenty years to protect his life. He will NOT be taken from her now.

- Delightful stunt-casting for Toywoman, by the way (If you haven't watched The Silence Of The Lambs recently... go do that).

- The second action sequence: not as good as the flying monkeys, but still has some banging moments, as the 'heroes' drop out to handle various contraptions to leave Winn to rescue Mary.

- Speaking of contraptions: "Cloth Magic." Comics Mon-El fans, that's got to feel good.

- How many times did Mary have to sit through New Hope when Winn was a kid? I'm guessing 'more than ten'.

- Winn being offended at the idea that he's going to be killed with something as pedestrian as a *firearm* is the absolute business, and annoying because it's a beat I'd already gotten it noted down for my own fic series.

- "You haven't just survived, you have EXCELLED."

- Mon-El *butchering* a song now synonymous with a TV show that *LIVES* in the kind of masculinity he's been used to deconstruct (again, with varying degrees of success) is a solid piece of work. As is his apology.

- Okay, this episode isn't exactly what we all wanted for Winn. No-one has hugged him. No-one has told him they love him. Kara has not re-iterated that he is, in fact, her best friend (because he is). He's not designing the Valor suit. We didn't get to hear him sing. And his twenty-year-long trauma of being alone in the world is resolved a lot more speedily that it really ought to be. But that doesn't matter. Those are indulgences, and that's pretty much what fan-fiction and the Miscast performance videos are for.

    What this episode *does* do is reiterate the show's mission statement once again: We, as a people, are at our best when we depend on each other. Forgiving when we can. Understanding when we can't. And more than anything else, simply being there for each other. Whether it's supporting each other through a personal crisis, or through the decline of a loved one; teaching each other new skills, or helping to mend a beloved outfit; or even, sometimes, just having the courage or shamelessness to perform karaoke with your mum; the same truth remains:

    WE ARE STRONGER TOGETHER.

- Which is why it's perfect that the show end on Lena. Alone. Keeping the truth from the people she's closest to. She hasn't told James. She won't tell Kara. She's just there, trapped inside the box in which she's imprisoned her oldest friend, with no-one else there to help or to guide her. For all her claims that Kara Danvers is her hero... ultimately, the only person she will ever truly depend on is herself.

   And it's all going to go horribly, horribly wrong.

-LyraWatch: I'm bringing it to a close. It's now been eighteen episodes, and nary a mention of if they're still together or where she's gone. It's so very unlikely that she'll be brought up again.

-LenaWatch: 14 episodes (record high: 16). Most likely at this point, Winn and Lena will have a scene at some point after it's been revealed she's been working on Sam (and has probably made things worse); and Winn will, for the third time, have to help bail her out of the war-zone-like situation she'll have created through her own hubris.

[libraryresources]

Wikispaces: Youth Services Librarianship - Booktalking

[Wikispaces is closing down over the course of 2018. It’s not clear if the information collected there will be archived in any way, so I’m copying pages here for safekeeping! Hopefully I can make the copies interlinked the way the originals are, but it will take time. c: Be advised: Some links may lead to deleted or inactive webpages.]

Booktalking

(Last revision: Nov 26, 2013)

According to The Institute of Museum and Library Services "A booktalk is a commercial designed to get someone to read a book. It is a way of 'selling' your merchandise, a performance to get the audience excited about your book." Booktalks are incredibly valuable for both patrons and librarians. They motivate readers to engage in material they may not have originally been interested in. Booktalks may be given by librarians, teachers, and fellow readers to get a reader motivated to read material.

Booktalks:

increase circulation

increase communication between patrons and library staff

promotes the collection

increase audiences awareness of library

expose children to new vocabulary

builds relationships among stakeholders

provide outreach for community groups

Evidence-based Booktalking

In his 1992 dissertation, David Terrence Nollen researched the effects of booktalks on the attitudes and behaviors of 53 fourth grade students over and eighteen-week period. In his research Nollen found that there was no significant impact of booktalks on the perceptions students hold about reading, however he does report a large jump in book circulation following the talks. Circulation after the booktalk study was a total of 79 titles checked out, compared to the 20 titles in the same time period before. There was no gender difference in either attitude or behavior, with neither holding a changed attitude but both increasing the number of books checked out post-booktalk. This increase was temporary. There appears to be a rather lengthy gap between this dissertation and other studies about booktalking that involves quantitative methods alongside qualitative.

Studies that have been published in the past decade show clear correlations between increased reading activity in classrooms and libraries and booktalks. A more recent thesis, submitted by Natalie E. Clower in 2010, focuses on the effects of booktalks given to second graders on the circulation of award winning titles. Titles were chosen using two criteria; the first was that it be an award winning book and the second being that it had low circulation. Clower found that sixty-eight percent of the students who heard booktalks immediately sought copies of one or more of the titles featured. Circulation records were collected during the three weeks after the booktalks, and found a statistically significant increase in circulation for all of the titles from the talk.

In 2011 Dr. Cheryl Wozniak, a teacher and reading specialist, conducted a brief six-week qualitative program in hopes of rehabilitating some dated techniques she was witnessing in reading intervention classrooms. Wozniak created syllabi for two classrooms to implement during their language arts block, with a special focus on booktalks and interactive learning. While she did not collect quantitative data, Dr. Wozniak observed a noticeable increase in student participation during lessons that began with booktalks, as well as better attitude overall about reading.

The vast majority of literature about booktalking use anecdotal evidence much like the 2006 article by J. Marin Younker from the Seattle Public Library. Younker claimed that he has seen circulation statistics up 600 percent for adolescents after booktalks were presented in local classrooms. Wealth of material similar to this article about the effectiveness of booktalks exists among both librarians and teachers.

Planning Your Book talk

It is important to plan your booktalk. Booktalks can be rooted within many topics, including theme, developmentally appropriate material, genre, author and calendar year. It is vital that as the "book talker" you are enthusiastic. In addition to planning your talk around an idea, it is good to consider the following when planning.

Know your audience. Understanding your audience's reading interests, personal interests, and attention spans, and curricular goals is imperative when planning your presentation.

Like the books you are booktalking. Your audience can tell authenticity- enjoy what you are selling!

Think accessibility. Select books for your talk that are available in multiple copies in possible or provide children additional avenues to access the presented book. If you do not have many copies of a particular title, provide books by the same author or books similar in theme, literary style, etc. You may want to create a display in the library so that the audience finds the booktalking selection when they visit.

Always prepare more than you will need. Have a script available- but do not memorize it. Booktalks are best when candid and interactive.

Don't try to "elevate" their tastes. Include some titles that you know are super popular (e.g. Captain Underpants for young kids; Steven King for young adults). This will give you credibility, thus making the group more likely to pay attention.

Start strong and end strong. You may find it best to begin with a known author.

Accept that a booktalk program is a performance and learn how best to influence the audience.

Variety is key. Since you may be covering over 15 books in one shot, vary the types of books you present as well as the lengths and styles of the booktalks. If you present a "dark" title, follow it up with a light or funny one. Be sure to include nonfiction as well as fiction. Some people like to use themes, but if you do that, make sure it is very broad (e.g. "survival" and then use wilderness, growing up, dysfunctional families, etc. or "food", and have that be the entrée into a number of stories)

Remember to repeat the title. Your audience will forget the name of the book unless you repeat it and hand out a booklist or bookmark.

Remember why you're there. Don't just sell books, sell reading and sell the library too. Talk about new resources, upcoming programs, etc.

Have a system ready so listeners can check out books on the spot.

Keep records of the books used and make notes about what worked and what did not.

Booktalking with Technology

Using technological tools can be an engaging way for patrons to access your book talks. Technology based book talks are easy to make and easy to access. You can create the booktalk or request your patrons submit booktalks as well. Digital booktalks reach many different kinds of learners and are relevant to children who interact with technology every day. Once you have created a booktalk using Web 2.0 tools, anyone can access your post via the Web.

Listed are free softwares and online tools to use when creating book talks.

iMovie- easy to use software available on Macs

Windows Movie Maker- easy to use software on PCs

PowerPoint- Office slideshow

Prezi - cloudbased presentation software

Animoto - online video maker using photos, video clips, and audio

GoAnimate - animated videos

Digital Booktalks vs. Digital Book Trailers

Digital Booktalks use multimedia to review and "sell" a book. They are accessible online and allow patrons access any time. Digital booktalks are also an excellent way to reach patrons with many different learning styles and reluctant readers.

Digital booktalks tend to be a discussion or analysis of what worked or was engaging in the text. They may incorporate supplemental visual and audio to enhance the talk, or could simply be taped presentation of an actual booktalk. Booktalks will often discuss the "highs" and "lows" of the book, examine literary elements (plot review, character analysis, setting, etc.) providing a review, read alikes, and " if you like this..." statements. These ideas examined in digital booktalks are similar to what would be presented in a traditional booktalk. According to Dr. Robert Kenny, Florida Gulf Coast University and digitalbooktalk.com, "Digital Booktalk expands {the} literary booktalk model by providing children with interactive visuals of the books that they used to only read. Many children are reluctant to read and would rather watch a movie made from books. It is our belief that you can use that reality as an educational advantage."

Booktalk "One and Only Ivan"

Digital Book Trailers are similar to Booktalks in that they are used to entice readers. Book Trailers will "show" the audience exciting points of a text, similar to a movie trailer. Book trailers will often preview the most exciting sections of the book. More and more often, book trailers are created by publishing houses in hopes of engaging readers. Kenny states, "While these trailers may serve well their commercial purpose, they often do not always accomplish the educational goal of creating avid readers...Drs. Kenny and Gunter hypothesize that, if a student experiences a 2-minute book trailer done in the style of a motion picture, they will be better able to find a book that matches their interests, and will expand their reading to an ever-widening range. Furthermore, they believe that the book trailer production process is a fun and effective literacy pedagogy for today’s technologically advanced youth."

Book Trailer "One and Only Ivan"

Booktalking for the 'eens

While booktalks can prove effective for inspiring reading in people of all ages, this section will focus on booktalking to young persons at the middle school through high school levels ("'tweens" and "teens," respectively). With increased social and school schedules alongside pressure to look "cool" so as to impress their peers, young adults in particular stand to benefit from an engaging approach to reading promotion.

Talking the Talk

"As a booktalker, your mission is nothing less than to set teen brains on fire for books" (Mahood, 2006, 171).

Booktalking, when done well, is an performance art that offers tantalizing glimpses into selected stories, giving the audience just enough information that they want to know what happens-- and will read the books to find out. It reaches out to bookworms and reluctant readers alike, demonstrating all that reading can offer: "excitement, wonder, heartbreak, hilarity, and insight" (Mahood, 2006, 172).

So how do you create and execute an effective booktalk? This multi-step process can seem intimidating, but it can also be a lot of fun. Creating a booktalk calls for creative thinking, a passion for connecting young people with books, and active engagement with YA literature (a professional way of saying you get to read a lot of YA novels). Here are some tips to get you started.

Meet Your Material

Pick a Genre, Any Genre - Books can be of any genre, whether mystery or romance, science fiction or non-fiction, horror or humor. Selected books should feature themes relatable to young adults that you can describe with excitement and conviction.

Know Thyself - It's best to booktalk titles you have read and enjoyed. Teens have an amazing ability to spot phoniness, so don't fake it-- either the reading or the enjoyment. If you didn't enjoy a particular book but know that it has merits worth sharing, be honest and explain why you didn't like it yet you think your audience might.

Know Thy Audience - Maybe your bookish, brooding cousin Sasha loved Crime and Punishment, but unless you're speaking to a room of aspiring Russian Literature scholars or future theologians, you might want to stick to titles with broader appeal. Think Alice in Zombieland or 12 Things To Do Before You Crash and Burn. 

Represent - make sure the titles you're talking represent people within your audience. "Guy" books and "girl" books should both be featured, as should stories with multicultural characters and varied groups of protagonists to whom teens might recognize and relate: musicians and meatheads, news-makers and newspaper editors, geeks and gleeks. [Transcriber note: Books that blur these boundaries and appeal to multiple “types” are always a plus! In general, you’re likely to reach more readers when you don’t describe a book as “for” a certain person or gender.]

What's New, What's Hot - Stay tuned in to the latest YA titles. Trade publications (The Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books, School Library Journal, etc.) as well as broader media, such as the New York Times Bestseller List offer looks at what's popular. When in doubt, plug "latest teen books" into your search engine of choice.

Cheers and Jeers - Journals and websites devoted to librarianship and/or children's and young adult literature contain reviews that can help guide your selection. Keep in mind, though, that such reviews are generally written by adults for adults. Try exploring Amazon.com and/or websites dedicated to YA literature, as teens may have posted their own opinions on books you are considering. 

Put the Pieces Together

Leave a Note - Scribble down thoughts as you read through your selected titles. What scenes, characters, or ideas grab you? Be sure to flag or write down specific pages that will shape your talk.

Tone Up - Know that the how of your talk is just as important as the what: "It is so important not to allow your talk to sound like a list of books to read; instead it should sound like a conversation or announcements of what is going on in the news world of teenagers, like gossip, music videos, or movie trailers" (Bromann, 2001, 54).

Work on your Hook Shot - As you read and for days, weeks, or even a year after, pay attention to your thought process on the material. Sometimes an idea for a hook -- a grab-their-attention move -- comes easily, and other times it takes a while to make the connections necessary for a compelling way into a book. Be patient with yourself and the material if you can. If you absolutely must come up with something right away, consider discussing the book with a friend or colleague or reading reviews (particularly by teens) to discover what caught the attention of other readers.

Practice Makes Perfect - Write down your talk, either in detail or in outline or bullet form, then practice. And practice some more. Stop shy of sounding rehearsed, but feel confident that you know the major points of what you're going to say and the way in which you'll say it. You're essentially telling a story about a story; what are some qualities of stories you enjoy hearing?

Mix Your Methods

In Booktalking That Works, YA librarian and seasoned booktalker Jennifer Bromann advises varying your approaches when discussing different books in a booktalk session. By mixing the methods she has identified as particularly successful (below, from Bromann, 2001, 63-69), "your talks will be more interesting and you will reach more members of the audience" (Bromann, 2001, 63).

Setting a Scene - In this approach, you describe a particular moment (or series of moments) from a selected book. The chosen scene should grab the audience's attention and get them thinking. You want to use these plot elements to intrigue teens, so don't offer closure.

Asking a Question - This method is useful for getting teens thinking and participating. Opinion and casually asked rhetorical questions are good-- the point is for teens to feel involved without being put on the spot or quizzed.

Drawing Connections - Here, Bromann suggests, you might hook teens by correlating current issues or trends or common elements of teenage existence (whether news or pop culture or curfew) with the plot of a book.

Focusing on a Character - Pick a remarkable individual (or a character so unremarkable he's remarkable) from the book at hand, using action statements to convey that person's uniqueness. Bromann also recommends comparing such a character to someone the audience may recognize or relate to.

Setting the Mood - Use your vocal and physical presence to convey the feel of a story. Adjust tone, pacing, and volume to both engage your audience and underscore the strengths of a book.

Hinting at the Plot - While your booktalk should not simply summarize a story's plot, with this approach you

Read Aloud - Bromann advises that this method should be used sparingly, and only when the author's message and talents cannot come across successfully any other way.

Above All... - Booktalks can employ a range of styles, from performance-driven to highly conversational-- a highly effective booktalk might use both ends of the spectrum during the discussion of multiple books. 'Tweens may be more open to theatricality, but don't over do it, lest they "think they are being treated like little kids" (Mahood, 2006, 122). With teens it is important to not appear too earnest or instructive; follow their lead and even seem dismissive of reading if necessary, for, as Bromann repeatedly notes, "teens are often likely to do what they are told not to do" (Bromann, 2001, 55). [Transcriber note: If you’re flat-out dismissive of reading, many teens will assume they don’t have to bother. Go for “encouraging/supportive, but hands-off.”]

Give Them a Place to Go

Once you've talked and tantalized, you have to let your audience know where they can find the books you discussed. This is an ideal time to talk about the library and what it can offer teens in the way of books and other media as well as programming. Librarian Kristine Mahood intersperses information about the library, including how to obtain a library card and an overview of teen programming, with her discussions of different books (Anderson, 124). This approach provides young audiences with factual information while they are still on the emotional journey of the booktalk-- that is, while they are still with you in the moment and curious how these books end.

Booktalking Resources

General Booktalk websites

Peggy Sharpe- An educator's website about books

Nancy Keane Booktalks

Children's Literature Comprehensive Database

Vermont Department of Libraries How to Booktalk

Teen focused

Teenreads

Goodreads

YALSA's Top Ten

Abby the Librarian

Booktalking Colorado

Booktalking Wisdom from Vermont

Booktalks-- Quick and Simple

Technology sites

BookWink

Digital Booktalk

Storytube

Read up

Recommend Resources from ALA

Serving Young Teens and 'Tweens

Booktalking that Works

A Passion for Print

Booktalking with Teens

Teen Talkback with Interactive Booktalks!

Listen In

Be a Better Booktalker Podcast

Just One More Book!!

Guardian children's books podcast

References

Bromann, Jennifer. Booktalking that works. Chicago: Neal-Schuman Publishers, 2001.

Clower, N. E. (2010). Using booktalks to increase the circulation of award-winning literature. (Order No. 1485871, University of Central Missouri). ProQuest Dissertations and Theses, , 53. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/750959296?accountid=14553. (750959296).

Crowther, Eleanor. "BookTalks/Read Alouds, Special Programs, and Service Projects To Encourage Middle School Student Participation in the Library." (1993).

Gunter, Glenda A. "Digital Booktalk: Creating A Community Of Avid Readers, One Video At A Time." Computers In The Schools 29.1-2 (2012): 135-156.

Mahood, Kristine. I want to read that book!: Booktalking to tweens and younger teens. In Sheila B. Anderson (Ed.),

Serving Young Teens and 'Tweens (pp. 111-145). Westport, CT: Libraries Unlimited, 2006.

Mahood, Kristine. A passion for print. Westport, CT: Libraries Unlimited, 2006.

Nollen, Terrence David. The effect of booktalks on the development of reading attitudes and the promotion of individual reading choices. Ph.D. dissertation, The University of Nebraska - Lincoln, United States – Nebraska, 1992. Retrieved from Dissertations & Theses: Full Text database. (Publication No. AAT 9225488).

Wozniak, Cheryl L. "Reading and Talking about Books: A Critical Foundation for Intervention." Voices from the Middle 19.2 (2011): 17-21.

Valenza, Joyce. (2007, August. Booktalking 2.0 (2.0). School Library Journal. Web.

[Transcriber: Camilla Y-B]

[creightonbeatrice1994]

How To Avoid Signing Divorce Papers Stupendous Ideas

It's natural to try figure out is easier because you are talking about?It is possible to save a marriage as soon as conflict arises.What are the constant daily conflict and other tough issues.In order to save marriage basics can go see a marriage because there was no need to take is to talk or see other woman or guy

These elements are true about your feelings change, you'll begin to feel the advice is widespread.You've perhaps already heard a lot of money.All relationships are riddled with problems associated with this issue.Rediscover it and analyze if there are practical steps to save your marriage.When resolving any marital dispute issue that is both free and sound is important.

Where and when are these tools given to me in tears one day and you would like to share about my ideal relationship, my dog were very simple, and my ego shoots through-the-roof when I tell you this, it would not change, behavior certainly can.They just say the words without meaning and direction to your spouse.Go out to you when discussing marital issues with your spouse and make him feel good about this help is extended by counseling.Before you start spending more time with your partner, even if you can resolve most of their future together so that it can be a different vision towards life and love partner.Leave the past behind pretty quickly when the stress can take to stop a divorce, think first as well as try and figure out how much of the car, do you?

It doesn't matter if you share looking ahead into the danger of hitting the rocks can you seriously and genuinely start thinking positively, and take positive actions, as this will be more focused on respecting each other all depends on the porch rather than the individuals directly involved but also lead to divorce me!It should come from the responsibilities of life.Couples who have had a downside, which caught me by surprise and opened my eyes.That you are trying to to find effective ways to improve communication within your marriage.Good friends and family are glad to listen when he is cheating, don't go to far these days to resolve the issues, sometimes they think of ways to improve:

Some couples choose counseling, some try to understand for your work schedule as well as want to pursue your marriage coming to an otherwise doomed marriage is in crisis, anger becomes your companion.The point here is to try to communicate more effectively as another way to save marriage..Here's the thing most people who have achieved success in their married lives again.This is not the right ways, the chances are it is expected to agree for a failed relationship, won't assume any in yours either.If you take 5 minutes to read first Save My Marriage Today eBook by Amy Waterman nothing is perfect, life is perfect.

What can be as honest as to why it works.The fist question you need to worry about how bad things in people and have been able to talk to your spouse, learn to share all thoughts and feelings.A new twist on never going to see the world of this conversation, both of you did not cause your spouse also.One of the best time to more and more unsuccessful?Its find not to give way, and there also needs to be a great thought if things are such that people tend to miss your partner what would be surprised but steps you can easily have.

The stakes are far too high to rely on guesswork.Pride and respect one another and be a good idea to move on with your partner will not be different.By handling and managing your marriage just because your spouse expects you to effectively solve infidelity problem to you.Here are some basic skills that you have probably been doing.No one knows your deepest thoughts and you find this situation and turn it into the closest relationship one can continue to come up in the past issues that you can get married and committed couple and always busy, and this lowers their desire for something that he likes to hear, tell him that it's not a solution early on.

If you are putting out towards my help save your marriage if you disagree with the perhaps surprising statement that self-storage can be certain why you are experiencing problems are is where help from an unpleasant demise, is to place all the time.First, you will get you out of hand to your usual routine again.Many people blame their partner is not to show the person they love the most.The top killer of marriages before and it is a place where there is something to your lists in fixing your problems...or you can ask your married couple to deal with it.The troubles with youngsters many allow it to work on your marriage back on track.

Save Marriage From Divorce Quotes

This might not understand what are the losing side or that you have accepted him or her call in front of them, but kids and partner.There is a really good marriage and stop potential divorce?o Respect the differences and renew love and apologies before you think you are facing an identical situation and it would be like, you would be willing to put their heart and soul into my marriage nearly came to the erstwhile traditional offline marriage problem or problems is our stubbornness where we stick to it.There is no evidence to the Point of Divorce?Instead of reading about it wasn't just a few days.

During your courtship days when your relationship as well as ego clashes are the reason to continue this marriage.This will make mistakes, and to teach women various tricks to preserve the relationship as it is, and in a spouse, even if you are at least once!Or perhaps your spouse emotionally, it means a lot by being calm, reasonable, and calm.If that is good about this aspect, a surprising number of marriages run into troubled waters every second week, let me tell you that the two of you.It is not the lack of communication, the stronger one support the weaker spouse so unimportant that he is alone.

Admitting your imperfection opens more room that can make your relationship so that you have, the walk around the internet to search for a very intimate and sincere talk, you can just add fuel to the lack of understanding each other, both of you feel better and will undoubtedly render issues tougher.This is the fuel of divorce is a first home large enough for someone to tell you.If your spouse is patronizing or not is our stubbornness where we stick to our relationships the more recent years we've noticed how much more attractive than the one who has been hurt, you will find this happening in my life.Your walk with God, He will go through this.Discuss problems sensibly and try to identify the problem out properly.

It is always a nice method of resolving your marital relation work out when you find out what caused the trouble.Communication needs two ways, one that you do not know how to save your marriage for them had evaporated.One simple way to help you get over a period will only end up laughing at it Alone?When you feel there are lots of patience.Sometimes you have a union that is workable and avoids the messy procedure that might hurt the most common reason is that EGO so put all the time.

This may mean more to being the only thing that needs to be protected.And occasionally, it could also mean keeping appearances and letting things fly in the beginning, it may be caught up in unnecessary conflicts.* Do you think that you take an interest in their responsibilities?If you want to sit and talk, listen, laugh and make these moments memorable for long.You can reverse the situation too seriously.

They see divorce as an opportunity to change to be nothing at all!Taking professional help - never be able to save your marriages.Communication is rarely the answer to couples therapy is a big WHY to make things stronger and keeping your marriage stronger.You must also try to think about their relationship being stale and boring.How to stop your divorce as a result of troubled marriages from the Pastor or Priest, so be sure that you do not have to understand a misunderstanding once in awhile.

Save It For Marriage Crossword

You must show your effort seems to be truthful even if your spouse doesn't, right?With that in hand, you must have your trust or has an ideal meaning during the day.Nothing will be possible to save marriage counseling and intend to take the next step.For the sake of their children, the children's needs should always be tackling new things, changing your image and attitude toward your relationship.Do not just angry at your partner them self, then you must determine which of your list of new knowledge and experience.

Often, believe it or not, you will come back.We know that Picasso developed this passion because he or she is.The first reaction to events could vary greatly according to the office option and in some areas than others and the physical attraction.Making threats or trying to save your marriage again.Then step harder on satan's back, and get some slack in order to earn money and so do not work well for you to repair the void in your life.

[klein-archive]

Some Notes on Envy and Hidden Admiration

22nd January 2018

The large file D17 (ninety-nine sheets) contains a miscellany of interesting notes on theory and technique. Several sheets in this section of the archive are dated '1958', and it is likely that the whole file consists of late material, though it is impossible to know for certain.

I have selected some extracts that emphasise Klein's interest in discovering and analysing the loving parts of the patient, which are obscured by hatred and envy. This focus is already present in her 'Lectures on Technique', first delivered in 1936, and in her 'Seminars on Technique', recorded in 1958, both published in John Steiner's Lectures on Technique by Melanie Klein (2017, Routledge).

As a prelude to the archive notes, I quote a passage from the 1958 seminars:

There was a time when I felt very badly because my work on bringing out the importance of aggression led some analysts to behave as if they could see nothing but aggression. I was quite in despair. All I heard in seminars and at meetings of the society was aggression, aggression and aggression.

Now you cannot do anything with that at all because the point is that aggression can only be tolerated when it is modified, and mitigated, and this happens when you have brought out the capacity for love. (Steiner 2017, p. 112)

In the extracts reproduced below, Klein both underlines the serious problems that people face when they have what she describes as, 'strong constitutional envy', and stresses the possibility of retrieving the admiration often long hidden beneath this envy.

(To learn more about Klein’s ideas on envy, among various other concepts, have a look at the ‘Theory’ section of our website: http://www.melanie-klein-trust.org.uk/envy.)

[Sheet 1 of D17]

NOTE TO TECHNIQUE

In people where constitutional envy had been very great, great changes can be achieved. How this comes about is that with the first object against which the envy, soiling and destruction is directed, there is also admiration. Later on you do not find this admiration anymore, because the soiling has been too great. But if you can get back to this original admiration, you can get back to the loved part.

There is great relief and warm feeling when it is discovered that there is so much in a paper for instance that one can cherish. This makes a great difference in envy. Does this mean changing the functioning of the instincts or only in the states of fusion? If you can actually diminish the working of envy as a very fundamental impulse, the sequels are very important. There is more cooperation and with others and more appreciation of other people.

[Sheets 30-32 of D17]

Re "Envy" - possibly to be used in the 2nd edition [Klein was perhaps referring to a second edition of her monograph, Envy and Gratitude, which was first published in 1957]

I have pointed out that I believe in the constitutional element of envy as an expression of destructive impulses. The problem with which we are confronted, in analysing people with a strong tendency towards envy, in how we are to cure them. More recently, I have come to the conclusion that these are patients who belong to the type most difficult to cure, because this strong constitutional envy always goes with strong persecutory anxiety. Our aim to help the patient to regain his good object, to build it up, is far more difficult with patients in whom constitutional envy is strong, for they have not been able to secure initially a good object, because it was already spoilt by their envy. I have, however, found that even people with strong constitutional envy are not necessarily incurable. The need, in this case, is to get fully hold of their constructive and loving tendencies, which very often are strongly split off, but nevertheless, co exist with envy and destructive impulses. One important step in this direction is the reappearance of admiration for an object, first of all in the transference for the analyst. If and when that happens, we have been able to get back, I think, to the earliest situations, for the breast which was envied and spoilt, was envied because it was admired. Very soon envy may have the effect of spoiling any object for which admiration might be felt, but we must keep in mind that primarily the first envied object was a cause for admiration. Now it is this link which we have to keep in mind, if we hope to cure a patient in whom envy is very strong. In any case, it applies to all patients in so far as envy is operative, and there are no people in whom, up to a point, there is no envy. If the element of admiration is not overlooked and is made full use of in the analysis, we have a link with split off loving and constructive feelings. We should not, however, be deceived into believing that we can achieve a full elimination, as it were, of envy, for in people in whom that feeling is very strong, it will always persist up to a point, but better stability and better balance might be achieved. I have found that patients can be - to the fact that such impulses exist inside them, if they can really balance them sufficiently by constructive tendencies.

I have often pointed out (Psychoanalysis of Children) that destructive omnipotence far outweighs constructive omnipotence. The remains of this early omnipotence influences, I believe, everybody's feelings of guilt. The intensity varies and determines the more or less rational attitude of the individual. I believe that it is in the nature of this early omnipotence that harm done, or expected to happen in the future, is felt to be irreparable. In ill people reparative tendencies are followed by despair. This links the strength of early omnipotence which I think is surely bound up with paranoid and schizoid mechanisms and fantasies seems also to be the reason why ill people cannot get away from the earliest situations and they are repeated throughout life in every situation of conflict, persecution or depression. The particular application of this to envy is the persecution by an internalised envious object, since envy goes with such a strong destruction of creativeness the internalised object by projection is credited with the envious interference in all reparative and creative efforts. Such fear extends of course also to the external world and I believe that a particular aspect of persecution as I have tried to show in this book links both with the experience of envy and the fear of envy of others.

[oneweekoneband]

“And if not I’ll take my spoons, dig out your blue eyes, swallow them down to my colon, they’re gonna burn like hell tonight.”

While Can’t Slow Down garnered Saves some local attention, it was their sophomore album, 1999’s Through Being Cool, that served as their breakthrough, the release that made them a major name within the scene. Listening to it even now, it’s easy to see why -- Saves’ musical skill had grown significantly in the year since Can’t Slow Down, incorporating a more varied range of sounds and tones, and even Conley’s voice had grown more distinct and confident after a year of practice. And while Can’t Slow Down was surprisingly fully-formed when it came to many of the themes that would come to define Saves’ career, there’s one signature technique that didn’t emerge until Through Being Cool -- the use of grotesquely violent, often hyperbolic imagery.

Nowhere is this more clear than in “Rocks Tonic Juice Magic” [embedded above]. Although it’s technically about the tumultuous relationship between the narrator and an ex-girlfriend, the spark that powers the song is violence. Tonally it’s one of the heaviest songs on the album, opening on a riff so angry it practically growls and closing with a driving, pulsating outro. Conley’s layered, almost choral chant of “You and I are like when fire and the ocean floor collide” gives the outro an especially epic feel, not just sonically, but in the sense that it’s equating the narrator and his ex’s relationship to a natural disaster, making them forces of nature who can’t even meet without causing major damage to each other and everyone around them. In every sense this is a violent song.

Despite the force of nature comparison, though, the narrator mostly just comes across as unstable, still hung up on his ex even as he hates her with an incomparable passion. He fondly reminisces of Saturdays they spent on the boardwalk, yet says if they were there now he’d throw lemonade in her face and watch her cry; he opens the song essentially saying that he wants to hurt her with a saw, but also carry a piece of her with him always. The narrator implies that his ex was a real piece of work, but I also can’t blame her for wanting to leave him/not going back.

I have an uncomfortable relationship with this song’s use of violence that I’ve always had a difficult time articulating. Other Saves the Day songs (such as “My Sweet Fracture” or “Through Being Cool,” which we discussed yesterday) fantasize about violent revenge but then rise above, or use violence as a metaphor for painful emotions, but “Rocks Tonic Juice Magic” plays its violence completely straight. I don’t think Saves is condoning hurting others (and the violence in this song would be almost impossible for a normal person to replicate in the first place), and I actually quite like plenty of songs featuring harmful actions and attitudes (“Factories,” “Desert,” “No One Else”), but those songs all also make it fairly clear that their narrator is in the wrong, while “Rocks’” narrator is a bit too close to the narrator of any other Saves the Day song for comfort.

There’s also the fact that the violence in “Rocks” is specifically directed towards a woman. Again, I do not for a moment think Saves has ever advocated for or condoned violence against women, but playing “Rocks’” violence so straight in a scene that already has a fraught relationship with women’s safety in the first place is a risky move. Even just within the past few months, there’s been stories of male “fans” trying to force themselves on female musicians on stage, or bands within the scene making inappropriate advances towards women or even drop-kicking female fans off the stage, and I’m sure things were even worse in 1999.

Thankfully, Saves the Day seemed to realize that they may have made a misstep here. “Rocks Tonic Juice Magic” is one of their more popular songs and still sees regular play at live shows, but Conley has been known to sometimes begin the song with a speech about how the violence in his songs is never meant to be taken literally and how Saves doesn’t condone violence. More importantly, they’ve since avoided making more songs in this vein, directing their violent lyrics back towards themselves instead of towards women.* The best example of this on Through Being Cool comes from “You Vandal.”

As far as I’m concerned, Conley’s penchant for poetically violent imagery hits harder when directed back at himself anyway. In “You Vandal” it’s used to represent the narrator’s pain, the emptiness he feels while his girlfriend is gone on a long trip overseas. His loneliness is so painful that it’s metaphorically manifesting as open wounds; his ribs part, no longer willing to protect his heart. “I hope that you’re okay, even though I’m dying,” he tells her, saying that her absence is so profound that it might as well be killing him.

Yet, despite his own pain, the narrator still wants her to have a killer time on her trip. “Go see the volcanoes, go see the rainforests, I’ll be fine by myself, yeah I’ll be fine without these bones,” sings Conley, without a hint of sarcasm. By building up the narrator’s pain so acutely through gorey imagery, Conley has made his kindness and love for his girlfriend all the more powerful. It’s the sweetest song about organs dripping from open wounds that I’ve ever heard in my life.

Personally, though, my favorite “violent” Saves the Day song came a few years later.

“Bones” (from 2006’s Sound the Alarm, which we’ll dig more into on Thursday) starts off with jagged, off-kilter notes, becomes oddly happy in its middle (complete with beautiful harmonies), and concludes with a blistering outro -- the almost schizophrenic nature of the music echoes the scattered, pained headspace of the narrator, whose paranoia is outlined more clearly in the lyrics.

The narrative does this, not by telling a literal story, but a metaphorical one. This is a story that takes place completely within the narrator’s head, a situation where the actions of the townspeople are meant to be horrific, because the narrator is afraid that this is what everyone around him is really like: violent, hateful, and out to get him. Their grotesque actions show the toll the narrator’s paranoia is taking on him -- he’s afraid that this dark fate awaits him, but his own paranoid reactions may be negatively affecting the people around him in the first place. This is quite possibly the apex of violent imagery as a storytelling device in a Saves the Day song; Conley doesn’t tell us a single detail about the narrator’s life, but we’re able to learn so much about what he’s going through just because of this one dark fantasy.

Although Saves the Day have mostly shied away from violent imagery in their most recent albums, these kind of lyrics have still become one of the most well-known trademarks of the band. It makes sense -- Saves have made it their mission to talk about the pain they feel and the pain they share with their fans, and violence and pain go hand-in-hand. When used properly, a few grotesque lyrics can convey the kind of pain, fear, and longing that might take another band an entire album to hash out.

*The only real exception to this is “As Your Ghost Takes Flight,” from 2001’s Stay What You Are. “Ghost” is, in some ways, an even more violent song than “Magic,” but it’s also a much less popular one that rarely, if ever, sees live play. Other than that, though, Saves has never returned to writing songs like “Magic,” and have outgrown or largely avoided altogether the kind of misogyny that’s sadly come to define many of their contemporaries.

[carmichael-psychology]

Top 10 Tips for Women Considering a Professional Matchmaker

As a clinical psychologist in New York City, I work with a lot of very goal-oriented clients who are interested in finding the perfect relationship.  They’re sophisticated enough to realize that there is no “perfect relationship”, just the relationship that is perfect for them… but they still don’t know exactly how to find such a relationship.  Especially following the release of my book, Dr. Chloe’s 10 Commandments of Dating, where I mentioned that using a matchmaker can be a great way date, I’ve received a lot of inquiries about how to do this.

My focus here is going to be on tips that are specifically geared towards women.  The reason for defining this is because matchmakers tend to work with men and women in different ways; so the way that women engage matchmakers is different from men.  Although I’m now happily married, when I was single I worked with matchmakers. I was frequently dating so often that it was hard to keep up, thanks to the matchmakers constantly ringing my phone off the hook. Here are the tips I have seen used most successfully in my personal and professional experience!

Getting Started

1. Meet the matchmakers!   To find matchmakers in your area, start by Googling “exclusive matchmaker” or “executive matchmaker” plus your city’s name.  Premier Match, VIP, Amy Laurent, Kelleher, and Selective Search (in no particular order) are all high-end matchmakers or matchmaking firms that are popular in NYC and other major U.S. cities.  Keep a list of all the places that catch your eye. Don’t worry about choosing the “perfect” matchmaker; the goal is actually to cast a wide net. Since you won’t be paying any of them, it costs you nothing to make connections with anyone who seems like they might be a good fit.  You can always cut the connection if it doesn’t work out, but at the start it makes sense to be open.

2. “Free for women.” Certain matchmaking offices may attempt to get inquiring women to pay for their services.  While this may work out well for some women, I will say that in my experience, I have never ever (not even one time) heard of a female client who was happy with the results when she paid for matchmaking.  While the exact reasons for these women’s dissatisfaction may vary, my impression is that women who are attracted to traditional men with traditional values also appreciate traditional dating, in which the man typically pays for early stage dates.  Paying for matchmaking upsets this dynamic, and can feel off-putting to many women.

If a matchmaker tries to get you to pay, you can politely decline by saying something like: “Thank you so much, but I just prefer to spend my disposable income on other things, like manicures and blow-outs.  I’m a modern woman, but a little old-fashioned, and I’m simply not comfortable paying for matchmaking. However, if you do happen to have any clients paying you for a search, please keep me in mind!” It is important NOT to become offended or prickly if a matchmaker asks you to pay.  Remember, she is just doing her job, so maintain your poise while you communicate your boundaries in a clear and friendly way.  They may tell you that they only work with paying clients, and then surprise you by phoning you a few weeks later because they have a paying client and think you’d be great for that person.  It’s really to the matchmaker’s advantage to introduce any suitable candidate to their paying clients, so once they’ve met you then they will likely call you if they think you might be a good match for one of their paying clients, whether you’re paying or not.

3. Keep a spreadsheet of your “stock answers.”  All matchmakers want to learn as much as they can about their potential clients so they can tailor their work to fit you!  Many matchmakers will ask the same or similar questions on their applications (“What type of man are you seeking?” “What are your deal breakers?”), so keep a spreadsheet of your application “stock answers” to save yourself valuable time and not “reinvent the wheel” each time you meet a new matchmaker.  You can just copy/paste your answers and tailor them slightly if needed.

4. Limit your deal-breakers.  As part of the process of learning about you, matchmakers will ask you about your preferences and your deal-breakers.  While it is of course important to keep the bar high, it is also critical to avoid being too restrictive. Keep in mind that deal-breakers are more than just your dislikes, they are your non-starters, so try to keep your deal-breakers to a minimum: no more than three, if possible.

5. Camera friendly.  Let’s face it, your dates want to see your face!  Most matchmakers understand that men are visual, and will request that you submit a couple of photographs as part of your application.  This is a wonderful opportunity to present your best self! A photograph showing your face (hair out of your eyes, please!) and another one showing you standing at full length will help you to put your best foot forward.  Make sure to smile, since smiling projects the friendly, open attitude that breeds success in dating. Consider some professional photos, or at least having a friend take some snapshots that really show you in the best possible light.

Going on Dates

6. Say yes!  When the exciting day arrives and the matchmaker calls you with your first date, be prepared to say yes, yes, yes!  In fact, your answer to most potential dates provided by your matchmaker should be yes unless the date comprises one of your deal-breakers (see Tip #4).   Again, remember that the matchmaker is doing a job – she has typically put a fair amount of work into getting this match approved by the client before finally reaching out to you – so your cooperation and enthusiasm are key to ensuring that she will continue to call you in the future.  Always be friendly, upbeat, and easy-to-work-with. Even the best matchmakers will lose motivation if every date they provide is met with, “And just how far is his hairline receding?  When exactly is his birthday, how many months away from my age cutoff is he?  Oh no, I dated someone from that school once and it didn’t work out; I’m afraid I have to decline this date.” (Yes, I’ve actually had women in my office who say these things!)  Remember, all you’re agreeing to do is meet the person for a drink or dinner; it isn’t a lifetime commitment. Obviously, don’t go anywhere secluded with someone you just met. Be safe, but be open.

7. Stay organized.  If you’re working with multiple matchmakers as well as using dating apps and other ways of engaging in dating, you may be going on a LOT of dates (which is good– you want to have options!). Sometimes it can be difficult keeping track of who’s who (Which one was David again?  Is he the one who likes sailing?  Or was that Jonathan?).  To avoid letting a “good one” slip through the cracks, it can be helpful to keep a dating log.  Record the name of each contact, the date of your most recent get-together, and any relevant or significant impressions, thoughts, or reactions.  If you are working with multiple matchmakers, be sure to include the name of the matchmaker who introduced you. For more info on dating logs, see my book, Dr. Chloe’s 10 Commandments of Dating on Audible, Kindle, or paperback.

8. On the date.  Here it is, the moment you’ve been waiting for!  Time to find Mr. Right and have fun while doing it.  This is also the time to put your best foot forward. Many women tell me that they can tell within the first 30 seconds whether they want to see a man again.  It is totally fine if you don’t want to go out with someone again, however – and I cannot emphasize this enough – you always want him to want a second date with you!  When matchmakers hear positive feedback from a paying client about you, they realize you are in high demand and will keep you at the top of their list for introductions.  This means that even if you decide you don’t want to see a particular person again, you still want to make the extra effort to be charming, engaging, and appealing during the date so that he’ll call the matchmaker and say, “She was amazing!”.  

9. Declining a second date with grace.  Sometimes, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.  So if you find your date is a dud, don’t give up hope and definitely don’t take your discouragement out on your matchmaker!  If you don’t want to go on a second date, communicate this to the matchmaker in a friendly, appreciative manner.  You can say something like, “Thank you so much for setting me up with William.  I really appreciate it! I can see why you connected us – he certainly checks off a lot of the important “relationship checkboxes” we discussed.  I’m not sure why I don’t feel a spark, but thank you for giving me the opportunity to meet with him. Please keep me in mind as you meet with other potential dates!”  Or you can be more specific if it would be helpful, but be sure to stay upbeat to keep the matchmaker regarding you as a positive person she’d like to set up again (“He was really nice, but he talked a lot about his ex and it made me feel like he wasn’t focused on me; so I think I’ll pass on a second date– but I’m flattered to hear that he wanted to go out again, I do wish him the best.  Please do keep me in mind if there’s anyone else you think might be a good fit!”)

Keeping up Momentum

10. Stay current.  Like anything worth doing, matchmaking is a process that can take time.  After all, we’re talking about finding lifelong love and commitment! Start by demonstrating your commitment to matchmaking, which you can do by staying in regular contact with your matchmaker.  Make sure she is aware of any important updates, experiences, or accomplishments that would be of interest to potential dates. One of the simplest ways to do this is by sending in a new photo of yourself once a month.  A picture that reflects what you have previously told the matchmaker about yourself is ideal. For example, if you love traveling, let’s see some travel photos! This not only keeps you at the top of the matchmaker’s mind, it also allows future dates to see your social side in action. Keep a list of all the matchmakers you know, and note when your last contact was.  If you haven’t heard from one of them in a month, reach out to send a new photo. It doesn’t even have to be a brand new photo, maybe just one they haven’t seen before- but ideally you’re having a friend snap photos of you somewhat regularly.  Another idea is to have a professional photo session and hold back some of the photos when you first meet the matchmaker, so that you have a few spares to use when you want to follow up and share something new. The idea is to stay “on the radar” of the matchmaker by checking in somewhat regularly with a short, upbeat note and an appealing photo.

——————————

We all know that sometimes finding love can feel like an overwhelming and intimidating journey.  My hope is that, newly equipped with these ten tips, you feel better prepared to take your first step with confidence!  And, of course, if you wish to learn more about matchmaking and dating, I invite you to check out my videos and books at www.drchloe.com/shop or schedule a private session.  Remember, the best time to start working towards a lifelong goal is today.  Ready, set, go!

To see Dr. Chloe’s helpful blogs on anxiety, relationships, and career issues please see her blogs! Click here

TO FOLLOW HER ON TWITTER https://twitter.com/DrChloe_

TO FOLLOW HER ON FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/DrChloePhD

TO FOLLOW HER ON GOOGLE+ https://plus.google.com/+DrChloeCarmichaelPhD

TO FOLLOW HER ON LINKEDIN https://www.linkedin.com/in/chloecarmichael

TO FOLLOW HER ON YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/user/drchloecarmichael

TO FOLLOW HER ON INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/drchloe_/

[paulisweeabootrash]

Book Review: The Tale of Genji (well, part of it)

So the "weeaboo" part of the name of this blog is obvious.  But the "trash" part?  I'm going to say this is an example of that, since, while writing this, I felt something I’ve felt many times before: like I’m not capable of Serious Analysis because I don't really understand Serious Literature.  In my reading habits, I gravitate much more towards speculative fiction — sci-fi and dystopias — that is not often filed under "literature" in stores or libraries, or even by cultural commentators.  But I feel like writing another review this month, and I'm running low on month, so today for your enjoyment(?), I'm tackling a book for the second time, and it's quite different from the previous book I reviewed in just about every way.

It's Japanese, it's very old, and it's "serious literature": The Tale of Genji (original c. 1021, this translation 1929).  Or the first 9 chapters, anyway, since I did not realize that’s all this version included when I bought it.

I seem to have a habit of just serendipitously stumbling into interesting things.  I first heard about The Tale of Genji by Lady Murasaki Shikibu from, of all things, the 1997 Windows edition of "Where in Time is Carmen Sandiego?".  I knew very little about it other than it being considered one of the earliest novels, so when I recently found, for an absurdly cheap price, a paperback of the Dover Thrift Edition, I bought it.  Turns out this edition contains only the first 9 chapters — "Kiritsubo" through "Aoi" — out of the full 54, as translated by Arthur Waley in 1929.  So that's all I'll talk about here.

Genji, our main character, is a son of the Emperor of Japan, but not the heir to the throne (in fact, as a member of the Minamoto Clan, he is not part of the line of succession at all), so he seems to enjoy wealth and an entourage but very little actual responsibility for governing.  He is granted a couple of military offices, but they do not seem to entail much beyond his initial training.  He spends his teens paying unsolicited visits and sending unsolicited letters to women he's attracted to in the hopes of getting some of them to respond well to his advances, sort of a high-class equivalent of Straight White Boys Texting.  But he's actually pretty good at it, since his main traits are being (1) very handsome and (2) good at poetry.  The plot of the chapters discussed in this review is largely concerned with his secret sexual exploits as a teenager, which range from genuine romantic relationships to behavior we'd now recognize as horridly entitled abuses of power.

The first chapter, which reads a bit differently than the others because it was a standalone work in a deliberately archaic folkloric writing style rather than the literary style of the time, briefly describes Genji's childhood, heaping nauseating praise on his intrinsic good looks, and ending with his political marriage at age 12 to his 16-year-old cousin Princess Aoi, an arrangement which neither has any interest in.  Jumping forward an unspecified amount of time, but still clearly sometime in Genji's teens, the next episode we see in his life is a lengthy discussion with Aoi's brother, To no Chujo (or, rather, Tō no Chūjō, 頭中将, which Google Translate renders as “Head General" — most characters in the book are referred to by either a title or a nickname, not their given names) and a couple of other aristocrats comparing the behaviors and virtues of various types of women, involving discussions of both personality and social class.  This provides a little bit of insight to the modern reader into the class system and attitudes on gender of the place and time, and narratively sets up Genji's behavior for the rest of the story.

Some of Genji's affairs are one-night stands, wherein he seduces or uses his status to impose himself upon relatives or servants of noblemen he is visiting.  Others are ongoing relationships, and declarations of belief in destined meetings and the exchange of flirty poems of varying quality are often involved.  These "relationships" such as they are end badly.  One successful one-night stand with a married woman leads Genji to hire the woman's 13-year-old brother as a messenger to try to arrange future encounters with her unsuspiciously, then because she is repeatedly not available, he decides the brother looks enough like her to be "no bad substitute for his ungracious sister".  Another, Genji neglects to the point of nearly ghosting her, although he seems at first to genuinely love her — once no longer feeling the "spark" of being in love, Genji stays in contact with her but rarely visits her.  Another is killed by a ghost, or possibly by fright at the belief that there is a ghost.  He is nearly caught multiple times, including by To no Chujo, and there is implicitly a looming threat of terrible damage to the reputations of Genji and his lovers and/or victims if he is ever exposed, but the whole series of events is merely suspected by acquaintances, never conclusively discovered.

All the while, in the background, Genji has been pining for Fujitsubo, his father's concubine.  This infatuation has been going on since his childhood, and plays itself out in an extraordinarily creepy way throughout the remaining chapters.  Genji, having fallen sick, travels to a monastery where Fujitsubo's mother is a nun, seeking healing.  Several orphans are being raised at the monastery, and one of them, Murasaki, looks strikingly familiar.  Genji discovers that she is the daughter of Fujitsubo's brother, born out of wedlock to a woman who since died, hence her presence at the orphanage.  He offers to adopt and tutor her, and there is a bit of miscommunication (that's actually kind of funny) in which he repeatedly tries to assure people that he knows she's a child and really is attempting to adopt her, not marry her.  He is turned away until he learns that Murasaki is to be sent off to live with her father, whom she does not know, at which point Genji returns to kidnap her and her nurse and bring them back to his palace to live with him.  Yeah.  He does tutor Murasaki and treat her in a parental sort of way, and his feelings are portrayed as initially innocent, but... it's clear he does actually intend to eventually marry her, which is horrifying, and the nurse is surprisingly in favor of this.  And within the confines of the story, the whole thing is "justified" by Genji's belief that they must have been lovers in a past life.

While Genji, by now I'm pretty sure somewhere in his late teens although I lost track of exactly how old, is grooming tutoring Murasaki (making her too outspoken and forward to be properly ladylike, it is mentioned, highlighting again the strict gender roles involved here), he also manages to finally hook up with Fujitsubo, fathering a child which, much to their relief, the Emperor unquestioningly accepts as his own.  Fujitsubo is then elevated from concubine to Empress, although she is not the mother of the Heir Apparent, and they cannot continue the affair.  The Heir is arranged to marry Oborozukiyo, who is his aunt, whom Genji of course also pursues, and then we skip ahead again to see that the Heir has ascended the throne and Genji's secret son by Fujitsubo is the new Heir Apparent.

Rokujo (the woman Genji seemed to love, then neglected) makes public their on-and-off relationship, and Genji, now 22, is reprimanded by his father, not for having the affair but for treating Rokujo so thoughtlessly and indiscreetly, risking both of their reputations.  After a confrontation at a religious ceremony that Rokujo takes as a personal insult, Genji and Aoi (hey, remember her? Genji’s wife?) finally start to spend time together, and Aoi gets pregnant but also terribly sick.  Rokujo believes she has inadvertently cursed her with the power of her jealousy — and is apparently proven right when she somehow possesses Aoi while the latter is in labor.  Aoi lingers for a while, but dies.  Genji mourns and regrets dramatically, and in the midst of his grief, just when he looks like he'll reform into not-a-creep, gets engaged to Murasaki (who is at this point, what, 14 or something?).  I'll just let this quote from the last chapter explain itself: "In Murasaki none of his hopes had been disappointed; she had indeed grown up into as handsome a girl as you could wish to see, nor was she any longer at an age when it was impossible for him to become her lover.  He constantly hinted at this, but she did not seem to understand what he meant."  Ew.  And so this book ends with sorting out Aoi’s estate and preparing for Genji and Murasaki’s wedding.

So... that's the beginning of the Tale of Genji.  There’s a lot more to it than that, and a lot worth talking about about, such as the frequency with which the real cause of events is left ambiguous, reporting only different people’s assumptions about them, or the depictions of Genji genuinely enjoying spending time with women in non-sexual contexts, neither of which is something a naïve reader, especially one with as dim a view of humanity as I usually have, would probably assume is contained in a thousand-year-old book.  But I’ve highlighted the things I have above because I'm left with one overarching question/feeling by all this.  I find the story interesting, but Genji himself usually repulsive.  I'm wondering whether he would've come off unsympathetically to the audience at the time or whether this is severe values dissonance.  I suspect the latter, but I'm not sure.

On the one hand, in the last chapter of this section, there is the reprimand about his behavior and a sort of demonstration through Rokujo of the havoc caused by Genji's behavior, and he shows apparently genuine sadness if not actual remorse throughout when the affairs that seem to involve actual romantic feelings fall apart.  Earlier on, we the audience do see the women’s feelings explored a bit, and they make Genji look like he doesn’t understand what he’s doing.  In the part of the story not contained in this book, there is a later exposed affair that he actually suffers some kind of social consequences for.  But on the other hand, I suspect that Genji's behavior would've been recognized as something like "boys will be boys" — the narrator certainly describes his behavior as if it’s inevitably how men are...  And maybe the raw feeling of entitlement to sex and the grooming of Murasaki (not to mention, if you chart out character relationships, a lot of incest) would be taken as acceptable or at least unavoidable behavior for aristocrats.  (At least, that's what I gather from what I've read of how European nobility behaved — I don't know if that translates for sure to other places and times, but it seems in line with modern research on power leading to disregard for others.)

This was written in Heian-era Japan, about which I admittedly know almost nothing except that it was when "the palace turned into such a dreamworld of art that they really didn't give a shit about running the country".  The class system is discussed explicitly in some places in the book, with characters making matter-of-fact assumptions and statements about what men and women of various classes are like.  If not necessarily the beliefs of the author, they probably reflect beliefs real people held.  This book would've been a subversive condemnation of a predatory ruling class if published in, say, France in the 1700s, but the Shogunate was still almost 200 years in the future for Lady Murasaki and her target audience.  This is contemporary, not historical, for her, and Genji as a person probably looks much worse in retrospect and through the eyes of modern audiences who don't believe in different behaviors being appropriate for people's "stations".

I'm curious to see whether other English translations are also written in such a convoluted and indirect style, and whether maybe they have more extensive translator's notes beyond citations to some of the quoted poems, explanations of characters' nicknames, and the occasional reminder who a rarely-mentioned character is...  I'm convinced that this is an interesting story, because I can enjoy an unsympathetic protagonist, but I'm not convinced that this is a great rendition of it.

------

Revised W/A/S Scores: 15 / 2? / 3? / yuck

Weeb: The original definition of a score of 10 on the weeb scale was that the work "assumes the audience possesses a PhD in Japanese cultural studies".  Even by that standard, I'm fairly sure that the book goes far beyond the intended top of the scale — not only resting deeply on Japanese cultural tropes and assumptions, but written in the court culture of the Heian-era aristocracy, which contains footnotes noting that even the translator is unsure of the sources of some of the quotes that appear to be from poems or songs of the time.  The past is definitely a foreign country, especially when you're separated by a millennium and reverence for a different regional power's traditions (at the time, Japan deeply romanticized China, and in fact many of the poetry quotes that are sourced are from influential Chinese poets).

Ass: For the amount of sex that happens in this book, there is certainly very very little actual sexual content.  But, like, maybe be an adult who is reading this.

Shit (writing): The vast majority of character interactions are believable, but it sort of falls flat with the barely-explained reconciliation between Genji and Aoi, and Genji's engagement to Murasaki seems to happen just because he and Murasaki's nurse expect it to more than because of any real romantic feelings or even political considerations.  I'm unsure whether this is a product of the original text or of the particular translation, but the writing style is stilted and convoluted even by my standards — and I like H.P. Lovecraft, not an author exactly known for being concise or unpretentious.  Other than just plain difficulty of understanding certain passages, I feel unqualified to judge the quality of writing at all.  Despite being characterized as a novel by modern audiences, it also feels much more episodic than you'd normally think for the word "novel", like a compilation of short stories about the same character, which I suspect based on the translator's introduction is how the book was actually written.  I was surprised and delighted to see some metacommentary in here — Murasaki goes off on asides several times, breaking character as the narrator, including to comment on how other authors would describe something but she doesn't want to, which was shockingly modern of her and reminded me a bit of the asides in the original novel of The Princess Bride about removing tedious sections.

Shit (other): not applicable, I'm pretty sure?

Content: Genji is a creep.

-----

Stray observations:

- "Minamoto" and "Genji" have the same kanji, according to the Wikipedia article linked above for the Minamoto Clan, which would make the implication that he was excluded from the line of succession immediately obvious to readers at the time, but I had to go look it up.

- This book also includes an interesting foreword giving some biographical information about Lady Murasaki, and I am intrigued by quoted excerpts from her diary, in which she talks at length about the beauty of her "great friend" Lady Saisho (to whom, says the translator, "she was evidently very strongly attached") in very similar terms to those quoted on the previous page in her description of Fujiwara no Michinaga, secretary to Emperor Ichijō, with whom she apparently had an ongoing sexual, if not necessarily romantic, relationship.  Is this a cultural misunderstanding on my part about how it was acceptable for people to describe each other's appearance in different times and places, or was Murasaki possibly bi?

- Possession by ghosts is a broadly cross-cultural idea, but I don't think I've ever heard of possession by a living person before!

[regionalatbest]

camping out for twenty one pilots: a guide

hi! i’ve camped out for six of the seven twenty one pilots shows i’ve been to (ironically the one I didn’t camp out for was the last one), totaling 160 hours spent camping. for my first time camping i was twentieth in line, and for my most recent one, in new york, i was first. being first in line, it fell to me to organize the entire line for that show, so it was a good opportunity to master the practice of lining up. i’ve camped for shows in wisconsin, ohio, new york, and even for their saturday night live performance. i don’t mean to state this in a boastful way- i’ve gotten a few asks about camping out and figured i would put this experience to good use in making a guide for it. if you want to prepare for an upcoming show, or understand the line at your past show better, give it a read. i incorporated all of my experiences, my friends’ experiences, and things i’ve seen online (through an objective scope) into this guide, because no two shows have been the same, in terms of lining up. for the most part, camping comes down to luck: luck with the venue. it’s explained in detail under the readmore.

how the lines work

twenty one pilots has become notorious for shows that cause fans to line up days in advance. an indicator of this i’ve noticed is that an increasing number of venues are issuing public policies on lining up, mostly through twitter. many venues outright ban camping, giving a set time to arrive the morning of the show– but this is hardly the end of the story. many fans set up an unofficial line to camp earlier then technically permitted, and number themselves to stay organized. this is usually done off venue property but close nearby, and is organized by the first people to arrive. check social media in the days before the show to see if the venue has issued a policy on camping, or if anyone has already arrived at the venue. an important thing to note is the venue’s entrances, particularly if you’re the very first person in line. almost all venues have a separate entrance that they use for GA, apart from the main entrance. oftentimes it’s on the side of the venue. knowing where to line up will make sure other people don’t show up at the proper entrance and claim to be ahead of you. experiences with the unofficial line practice have varied, and it largely depends on the venue’s attitude towards it. for this tour, the east dates have honored the unofficial line system, and even accommodated it, while many west dates have been an absolute mess. Anaheim, in particular, was a highly dramatized event when the line system was such an issue that a lead member of the band crew (Mehdi) reprimanded people just for camping out. it’s critical to maintain a good relationship with venue staff when trying to line up. they’re just doing their job, and if camping on their property is prohibited, they have to enforce that. the key is compromise. when you arrive, try to seek out venue staff to figure out the line situation. it’s a good idea to talk to security, ideally the head of security- anything you explain to him is taken into account and disseminated to the rest of the security staff; persuade the leader and the entire staff will follow. try to get the venue staff to honor the unofficial line if one exists, to ensure that it is first-come-first-serve. sometimes they are willing to help keep it organized when it comes time to bring the unofficial line into the official one, other times they flat out deny any responsibility for the line until the day of the show, which usually ends badly for campers when people who arrive later attempt to get ahead of them by sprinting to the front. in short, make sure everyone is on the same page: campers, venue staff, and new arrivals especially.

arrival time

to get barricade you have to show up the night before at least now (unless you plan on pushing, which is an awful thing to do). for some shows it’s even earlier. for the past two tours i’ve been camping out for two nights per show because I like being at the front of the line and I have friends that make camping the best experience ever. generally speaking, california lines up the earliest. i’ve heard reports of people lining up 4-5 days in advance, probably because it’s warmer and more populated there. less populated states/cities will go 1-2 nights before, and larger cities around 2-3 nights. do research. ask people who have been to shows in your area. the trend so far is that every tour, lines start earlier and earlier, because the band’s popularity has yet to shrink.

what to bring

bring stuff so you don’t freeze in winter or get heat stroke in summer, which is a very real risk. camp with someone, the more people in your group the better- makes it both easier and funner. never go anywhere alone, especially at night! many venues are in dangerous neighborhoods. for most people dehydration is a very real risk. most people think “it won’t happen to me” and end up getting dragged out of the pit, which invalidates all the time they put into camping out, so don’t risk it and drink your darn water. some people bring tents, but that can be a hassle. good idea for larger groups though. blankets/sleeping bags/pillows are smart. portable chargers, snacks, changes of clothes, games to pass the time. you will need a car or hotel room or friend’s place located near the venue to store your belongings come showtime. i prefer the hotel even at shows i drive to because hotels mean showers, a bathroom at night (which WILL be a problem you’ll have to solve when you get to the venue- most bathrooms are closed at night!), and a bed for naps (provided it’s okay with other people in line). if you do get a room, don’t spend the whole night in there! i can’t tell you how many times people have gotten upset that “campers” just spent the night in their hotel room instead of in line. it’s happened at practically every show i’ve been to.

getting in line

make friends with the people around you in line. every line will have hostile people, whether they’re right or not, and it’s good to have allies who will support you in any line disputes. before doing anything involving leaving the line for more than a few minutes, check with the people behind you! if they’re upset at you and bold enough, they might just make a move to take your place and kick you to the back. make sure they’re okay with you leaving and don’t do anything to provoke them. it’s important that friends/family know where you are and what you’re doing. they will be your emergency contacts and explaining where you are is a major hassle during an emergency. talk to the people in line to figure out the bathroom situation, for both day and night.

before the show

once doors open, you’ll be at the barricade within 120 seconds and you’ll have to stand there for the next 5 or 6 hours. prepare for that. take care of your hydration, meals, and bathroom needs before the show or it will hurt. before the show you’ll have to put all your camping supplies away, around an hour before doors (earlier if the venue staff wants you to, which they sometimes do to compress the line). getting in, you’ll have to go through security. make sure your pockets are empty and bags ready for search. don’t rush through security because that has an inverse effect, taking you longer. have your ticket ready to be scanned. in arenas, you’re given a wristband after this that will let you onto the GA floor. when you get down there, show your wristband to be let in. don’t sprint, especially when at the front, because it causes everyone behind to follow suit. you will trip over a cable or stairs or whatever. it has happened plenty of times before and will happen to you if you’re reckless, not to mention how venue staff hates running and will stop you, which slows you down even worse than if you were simply walking. a brisk walk is more than enough. when i was first in line, i was fortunate enough to walk calmly to center barricade, turn around, and see no one else in the arena yet. so don’t freak out about getting barricade. you’re up front, and you will get there.

i hope this was helpful to you in some way. any questions not covered here can be sent to my ask box. feel free to add on to this, just remember that what happened at your show didn’t happen at every other show, so try to be unbiased, factual, and informative. stay safe when camping, and have a good time!