#not super jazzed about this but might revise it in the morning

[babyarmybabbles]

Run ARMY! (Cooking Part) a2 d3

[Caution: These are not full fics, or even full parts of fics for some, these are part of my writing progress archive!]

Concept: Reader won the opportunity to film a spin off of Run BTS! celebrating the boys return from enlistment, called Run ARMY!, over the course of seven days.

Word Count: 733

Notes: This part takes place way later, towards the end. I wanted Reader to have a nice candid moment with ARMY, bc I love this fandom a lot, y'know? It needs a lot of revision so that it's less rambly and dense, but I'd like to keep the honest and frank atmosphere I've got going on here. It'll probably change a lot by the time I actually get to this part of the fic, but I'll keep something like it in the final product, I'm sure.

Took Inspirations from Run ARMY! series on Tik Tok by _yamanika_ and Guess The Bias! by HelloMyAlien7 on Ao3

Warnings: I don't think there's any?

Masterlist Link <3 | Prev Part Link c: | Next Part Link :D

You crouch down to come face to lens with the camera in the hallway and wave tiredly.

“Hello~” you drawl out in a whisper, giving a small smile, “The boys have treated me to so many yummy Korean foods, so, because this is our last morning before we travel back to Seoul, I am up stupid early,” You pause to pull out your phone to show the glaring 5:15am, as if the pre-dawn lighting wasn’t already evidence enough. “So I make them my family’s traditional pre-travel breakfast feast!” You give a near-silent cheer and jazz hands to the camera before heaving yourself to your feet and ambling your way over to the kitchen.

As you set about gathering up your ingredients and finding your required utensils, you make sure to look around and spot all of the kitchen cameras. You hadn’t really had much purpose in here before, and when you had there were usually camera directors about to be mindful of instead of the mounted cameras you were taking advantage of now.

One of the cameras happens to be angled toward an ideal space to do most of your prep work (probably on purpose) so you point to it and make your way over.

“I don’t like cooking alone.” you tell it in a low, conspiratorial tone. “So you’re gonna be my buddy and listen to me babble.”

That being said you really only whistle lightly to yourself as you finish collecting the ingredients and lay out the stuff for your first dish - a simple fruit salad. When you begin slicing up the first apple, you finally start speaking to the camera as promised.

“Now, I know I’m not one of the members, but I hope ARMY will be fine with whatever this segment looks like anyways,” You start softly, “BTS may be my ult bias group, but ARMY is my ult bias fandom, you know? It might be weird to say as ARMY myself, but I’ve never seen another fandom quite like it.” You take a breath and pause your chopping, flexing your wrists and popping your knuckles while you contemplate.

“ARMY was welcoming from the start, for me.” You continue, “Heck, someone gave me a link for a BTS101 guide at some point! That was actually super helpful, It made catching up with content and understanding memes a lot easier.” you smile at the memory, grateful still to the person who’d given it to you. “It’s a very warm and close community, and very open and accessible to new people. That’s pretty rare, in my experience.”

You switch tracks now, beginning to explain what you’re making even though you’re already halfway done. No one claimed you were a pro at this entertainment stuff. “I’m making a fruit salad right now. It’s easiest to start with because after I put the lemon juice on, i can just put in in the fridge and get it out of the way.” You inform the camera. “My Ma says it’s the most important part of this spread because it lets us pretend any of it is healthy.” You laugh softly at yourself as you dice up your chosen fruits.

You’d been kind of surprised you’d been able to find everything you wanted, given that you weren’t entirely sure which fruits were available in South Korea. There had definitely been a few you’d never seen before when you’d gone shopping, and you were curious to try, but you were going for traditional today so you’d just have to hope you could find them again at an Asian market at home.

You fall into a bit of a daze as you wash fruits, chop them up, and dump them in a bowl on repeat. The silence you fall into is broken only by the occasional whistled tune or soft hum from you. You’re broken from your trance when it’s at long last time to sprinkle in the lemon juice and sugar and stir it all up. You speak to the camera again as you give your arm a workout trying to mix everything.

“If I really wanted to make this how my grandma does, I’d add this mix of cream cheese and whipped topping that she uses. It’s really yummy, but I think it’s a bit too much like desert for today.” You cover the bowl when you’re done and place it in the fridge.

[mykingdomforasong]

Because I am both indecisive and like to give options; BobaDinLuke, 30 (perhaps also hot springs as another possibility there?), "let me hear you, baby" OR DinLuke, 28, "I'm gonna fuck you until you beg me to stop", for the nsfw prompts? If either of those catch your interest? :)

ooh I've never done bobadinluke but I've been wanting to try! And I love a good hot spring.

[prompt list]

~*~*~

The pool had been Luke's discovery. Behind the waterfall on Yavin IV, there was a shallow cave, with pools of hot spring water that bubbled up from deep under the surface Yavin IV. He waded into them naked, not shying away from the comfort of their volcanic warmth, ready to float away and stay in the cave forever.

When he finally emerged, he commed his partners, still naked and dripping for their benefit more than his. He got them back to the moon quickly with the promise of necessary relaxation from their desert worlds.

"And more wet, naked Jedi, I hope," Boba added.

Luke smiled. "Of course."

He'd made good on his promise. Ahead of their arrival, he returned to the springs and used the force to manipulate some rocks into a seat to make everything that much easier for them.

It was smart thinking, a moment of brilliance even; although, he had expected someone to sit on it. Instead, Luke found himself kneeling on it, waist-deep in hot water, the rest of him clinging to land. Din's hands were on his hips, rocking into him mostly with the momentum of Boba fucking into him. They hadn't tired this before, with Din in the middle. He was so sensitive, they worried it would overwhelm him.

But if Din asked for it, they weren't going to deny him.

Din was leaning on Luke, damp skin against damp skin, letting Boba do all the hard work, while Din got to enjoy a man on either side of him.

Luke loved the familiar feeling of Din inside him, but he wished Din was offering him a little more anything. He was no where near finished when he felt Din's grip on him tighten. Din bit down on a soft spot near Luke's shoulder, getting Luke to gasp at the feeling. Luke tried to grind back into Din but it only furthered the problem.

"Poor thing," Luke heard Boba say behind him, "still so needy. Don't bury your head in our Jedi, baby," he said. Din's head was pulled back from Luke's shoulder, Luke assumed, by Boba's hand. "You alright?" Boba asked him.

Boba must have slowed their pace for Din's sake, but the result was almost total stillness inside Luke. He started to touch himself faster, his actions made all the more conspicuous by the water splashing.

"I'm okay," Din promised. "I think Luke's feeling impatient."

"Isn't he always?" Boba asked before quickly picking up the pace, moving so suddenly, Din was pressed back against Luke, a pleasurable scream pulled from his mouth before he could hide it. The sound echoed off the cave walls, bouncing back for them to hear again, and again.

"That's better," Boba praised him. Din leaned back away from Luke, pulling out almost entirely.

"Hey," Luke whined, "I'm still here."

"Sorry sweetheart," Din said before leaning forward again.

He couldn't last, though. When Din picked up his own pace, so did Boba. Din's arms wrapped all the way around Luke, pulling him in as close as he could, burying himself as deep as his body would let him, as he finally came with another satisfied shout that rang through the cave like a song.

Din slipped out from between both of them, looking so blissful and boneless, for a moment Luke worried he might drown. Boba moved Luke gently off his homemade seat, coaxing Din to sit instead.

Boba grabbed Luke quickly, one hand on his shoulder, the other on his cock. "Do you want me to --"

"Fuck me," Luke demanded, holding onto Boba tightly, letting the weightlessness of the water help him get his legs around Boba's hips, as Boba shoved him up against the pool wall. Luke would have scrapes from it, but he was too hard to care.

Boba slipped into him easy, working him with the same pace he'd worked Din. "Fuck, yes!" Luke said, louder then normal, interested to know what his voice would sound like in echo.

"You hear that, Cyra'ika?" Boba said, his gaze turned towards Din. "That's how we want you to sound."

Din moved off his seat, slowly wading towards them. He stood still next to them for a second, before capturing Boba in a deep kiss, rough enough to create a stutter in Boba's thrusts.

Luke pouted a little, admittedly feeling a bit ignored. Boba noticed before Din did, and pushed Din in Luke direction. Din figured out what he was suppose to do quickly. He held Luke's face in his hands and kissed him hard, a wordless apology for letting him go so neglected. Their kiss wasn't perfect as Luke was bounced on Boba's cock, but they did their best with it.

Din rested his forehead against Luke, breaking their kiss, but leaving one hand in his hair. The other made its way between his two lovers, gripping Luke's dick, hoping to have some part in getting Luke off even if he'd come too quickly before.

Luke smiled and almost laughed in relief as he finally felt himself get so, so close.

"That's it, baby, just like that," Boba muttered. Luke and Din exchanged a quick glance, not sure who Boba was talking to. Silently, they decided to split the praise.

It was Boba's turn to earn an echo, coming with a grunt into Luke. Luke wasn't far behind this time. He finished in Din's hand a moment later, before collapsing forward into Din's arms. Boba had already seated himself down. Din pulled Luke through the water until he was sitting on Boba's lap, both of them wrapped up quickly in Din's arms.

"Great find, Skywalker," Boba said.

[independentartistbuzz]

INDIE 5-0: 5 Q’S WITH NELL & JIM BAND

Nell & Jim Band bring together genre-busting artists and joyful music infused with folk, bluegrass, americana, roots, swing, jazz, and blues. Alt-Roots, Folkbilly – whatever you call it – it’s original, well done, and a pleasure to hear. Featuring Nell Robinson on flute & vocals, Jim Nunally on guitar & vocals, Jim Kerwin on bass fiddle, Alex Aspinall on percussion, and Rob Reich on accordion & keyboards, this is truly an all-star band.

1. What is the inspiration behind your latest single, "Travelin' The Road West"? Did you draw the piece from a personal place?

Jim: "I wrote this song after reading Grapes Of Wrath by John Steinbeck. My family was from Arkansas and migrated to California during the dustbowl, a story like that of the book. My father told me how hard it was picking cotton, how hard it was on his back. Those family stories and the relativity to the book is what inspired the song. I wrote a couple songs inspired by that book."

2. When writing new songs, how long does it take to accomplish from start to finish?

Nell: "It depends...Some songs, like 'By Stars and Sunrise', get started with a verse or chorus and then stall out for awhile. That one started with a great melody from our co-writer Chris Wadsworth and a feel that really inspired the story. I wrote the chorus then after a couple of months the verses started coming together when Jim and I sat down to focus on it. Other songs come out fully formed, that happens mostly with Jim's originals." 

Jim: "Sometimes the lyrics and music come out simultaneously almost like a rap song, where you are improvising and rhyming and it comes out sort of fully formed. That might be three minutes! 'Travelin' the Road West' came out almost done and then I went back and revised the verses."

Nell: "I wrote Limonaia as a story poem and it was fairly easy to lay out as I had been thinking about it for weeks. We were staying in a limonaia outside Florence, Italy, where the true story took place and I was very captivated by it. I brought the poem to Jim who had a pretty melody and it took a little editing to make it all work."

3. At what age did you realize that music is a career you wanted to pursue; what was your ‘ah-ha’ moment?

Jim: "I had played my first paid gig when I was 15 years old. At that time I thought, 'Wow, I just made $75 for two hours.' At the time, minimum wage was about $1 per hour in 1975. I kept playing music and it paid my way to trade school where I learned welding. I began working fulltime as a welder for Kaiser Steel Corporation as a journeyman welder in the Boiler Makers union here in California. At one point, when I was playing in a very good band, usually about 3 or 4 gigs a week and welding full time I began to feel burned out. I invited a welding instructor I had in tech school to a performance, this was about 1983, I told him after the show I was feeling torn between music and welding, I needed to cut back on one or the other. I totally respected this person, he looked at me and said 'do this'. There you have it, I simply needed someone to push me in that direction who I thought really knew his business.

My mother tried to sway me in that direction when I was 18 and thinking of going to trade school, she said, 'Jimmy, you're a good guitar player, have you thought about going to music school.' I told her I need to make a living. I am glad I took the route I did. I have had the great pleasure of playing with the absolute best musicians in the field of music I pursued, which was primarily Bluegrass, even though my father, who taught me how to play, played and sang country music."

Nell: "I had a whole career in political organizing, nonprofit management and fundraising before I just sort of burnt out on it. My last real job was as the Chief Philanthropy Officer at Mother Jones magazine based in San Francisco. At that time, my daughter was also hitting her teen years and I was realizing that this force that had been central to my days and my life was soon going to leave home and be on her own. Honestly, I was heartbroken at the time, it was a hard transition though of course it is natural and the way things are supposed to go. But it became clear to me that it was important for me to think about this next phase of my life. It was sort of my mid-life crisis! So I looked into my heart and there was this quiet but powerful wish to sing that had been there all my life. I had been a musician and singer as a young person from elementary school through early college years. And I used to sing in my car all the time, my pick-up truck had no radio. I found a vocal coach for lessons and met people in the local and welcoming bluegrass community. After a couple of years of performing locally and in California festivals, one of the highlights of my life was being asked to perform a song I had written on A Prairie Home Companion. I sang it in a duet with Garrison Keillor. I held a photograph of my father throughout that show as my father was in hospice. Everyone was so kind to me and sympathetic. The feeling of community, the thrill of being on that 'big stage' with that brilliant story-teller, singing a song that came from my own experience - that was my ah ha moment and there was no going back."

4. Who are your musical inspirations? What artists inspired you to start your career and find your musical passion?

Jim: "My father is the first and the most important influence. He was a good guitar player and wonderful singer. He taught me how to play guitar. After him I would say Pat Dorn, Bob Smith, Tony Rice, Buck Owens, Chet Atkins were among my influences. Importantly, beyond my early influences, comes a string of big influences that come from playing with great musicians. That is a wonderful part of the art of music, when you get to play in great bands, like the David Grisman Bluegrass Experience or John Reischman and Jaybirds, you are playing with some of the best musicians in the world, I have been lucky that way. Plus people like John Blasquez, Rob Ickes, Dix Bruce, these are some of the people I have been in bands with, amazing players, you learn from them by playing with them. Now I am in a band with super talented people and you learn tons every time you play music with them. Working with Nell I am learning to be a collaborative song writer, she is just open and honest about her songwriting and that is inspiring and influential. It is a deep topic."

Nell: "Dolly Parton is a hero for me. Her incredible songwriting, emotional presence in her voice, that vibrato, and what seems to be her authenticity and genuine warmth. I remember my family listening to 'A Coat of Many Colors' and relating to that song - my mother grew up in rural Alabama. She said she didn't realize she was poor until she left home! Dolly's music speaks to my family roots and we love her."

5. What other treats do you have in store for us this year? Can you tell us about your new album Western Sun?

Jim: “'Traveling The Road West', 'Sequoia Gold', 'By Stars And Sunrise' and a couple other original songs are about western migration in the US, others celebrate the music of people who have immigrated here over the centuries. During the recording of the songs our producer Lowell 'Banana' Levinger came into the studio one morning and said 'I have the album title - Western Sun', it fits it perfectly. This new album came together mainly out of new material we had worked up in the band, not necessarily with a specific theme in mind. We happened to be hired for a gig in Seattle at a Polish Festival, we figured we had better learn some Polish music, it was a total blast to play so we decided to keep doing them in our regular shows. We created an interesting arrangement of 'Clinch Mountain Backstep' that pays tribute to the African and Scots-irish influence on american music and we had worked up some English and Irish tunes as well. Turns out this is an amazing album of songs, and features an amazing band.''

Nell: "We are never short on ideas. Along with releasing the new album, we are working with some artists and videographers on special thematic mini-films with the new songs. Keep an eye out for those! Since our tours were cancelled, we are creating a live Nell & Jim Variety Show with special guests. Plus our Banjo Boy Coffee is sponsoring some online performances by other musicians. Whippoorwill Arts is the name of our production company and we give out annual Artist Awards and sponsor a festival that will happen in August. Our other activist projects like the Music Home Project work all year round. We are especially driven to help musicians in our Bay Area roots community as they see their income streams dry up. There are some innovative organizations popping up and we will partner with them to keep the music alive."

Find Nell & Jim Band via:

https://www.facebook.com/nellandjim/

https://www.instagram.com/nellandjim/?hl=en

https://twitter.com/nellandjim

https://www.nellandjim.com/

[connorrenwick]

Where I Work: Sean Woolsey

The work of California-born Sean Woolsey has piqued our interest for a few years now with his impeccably crafted furniture and gaming tables (shuffleboard and ping pong) that are handmade and guided by the Japanese philosophy of Wabi-Sabi. Founded in 2011, the studio’s portfolio continues to grow with design-focused pieces that are handcrafted and built to last for generations to come. For this month’s Where I Work, we head to sunny Costa Mesa, California to the Sean Woolsey Studio to explore the relatively new space and to see how things work.

What is your typical work style?

Ever since having a kid, I have had a pretty regimented M-F work schedule of 9-6 with lunch in there somewhere. Sometimes a workout at lunch, too. I used to work super late into the night, and on the weekends, but am more balanced now. Having more normal hours has been good, and pushed me into a consistency. Usually, in the morning I hammer out all my computer work, then have lunch and try and design/prototype in the afternoons, and then more computer work at home for a bit in the evening.

What’s your studio/work environment like?

I like to have a pretty clean and structured place, it keeps my mind more organized and efficient. There is a place for everything. The natural lighting in our studio is great and the weather is awesome. We are about a mile from the beach, so surfing frequently is a priority. I like to have a fun atmosphere to work in, somewhere that I am pumped to go in every day.

How is your space organized/arranged?

Our studio is broken up into a few different zones – we have a showroom in the front, two offices and our woodshop in the back. One office I rent out to a jewelry designer/maker. I have a large office that looks both into the showroom and into the woodshop. Originally, my office was two offices, and during construction, we blew out the center wall and added a large window and glass sliding door into the showroom.

I have a desk (used for all things digital), and a drafting table (reserved for only analog drawings, sketches, and designing). Also in my office, there are a couple of our chairs, a daybed (for naps) and a bookshelf filled with all kinds of books, magazines, samples, fabric and wood samples, etc. Also, I have a large magnetic whiteboard behind my desk that is my inspiration board. I repurposed an old sail to cover the ceiling and painted on some quotes.

How long have you been in this space? Where did you work before that?

We moved into this space Oct. of 2017 and we were directly across the street for almost 6 years in a shop half the size. It was the easiest move ever, we literally pushed all our heavy tools across the street. Construction in the space took about a month. This new space has a cool history in Costa Mesa. Years ago, the whole building housed Modern Amusement (a clothing brand that I once freelanced for), then there was surfer/artist Andy Davis’ art studio and then for the last few years a friend’s ad agency. I had always loved the building and told him that if he ever wanted to move out to let me know, so we jumped at the chance to take over the space.

If you could change something about your workspace, what would it be?

More space! Haha. We are already outgrowing this space.

Is there an office pet?

No, I wish. Would love to have a couple of dogs. One day! We do have a dog hotel next to us though, haha.

Do you require music in the background? If so, who are some favorites?

Yes, music, podcasts, and audiobooks are pretty much constant. Music is more for designing. I listen to a lot of Jazz while designing and doing art. I listen to everything from Miles Davis to Bonobo to Bon Iver to M83 to Ben Howard. A few of my favorite podcasts are Up First, Planet Money, The Accidental Creative, The Tim Ferris Show, 99% Invisible, The Memory Palace, Invisibilia and Lore to name a few.

How do you record ideas?

Yes, I recently bought a Rocketbook Notebook and am obsessed. Now the whole team has them, and it will most likely be the last notebook I ever buy. I love how it feels to write on the paper, that everything is erasable, and how you can use their app to store a digital file of the pages.

Do you have an inspiration board? What’s on it right now?

Yes, many inspirations, quotes, images and products that we have in the works.

What is your creative process and/or creative workflow like? Does it change every project or do you keep it the same?

It usually starts by drawing quick ideas in my notebook. Then picking what I like best, and figuring out the rough details of the design. Then I move to full scale on paper and will revise when needed. Next is to build a full-size prototype in cheap wood. Then rework the kinks. Lastly, we build the design in the final material, do a photoshoot, and launch the product. At some point, in there we also make a Sketchup model.

What kind of art/design/objects might you have scattered about the space?

In the showroom, obviously our pieces, and some of my art. In the woodshop, mostly tools everywhere, but in semi-organized sort of way, haha.

Are there tools and/or machinery in your space?

Yes, lots. Typical woodworking tools like a bandsaw, jointer/planer, table saw, routers, router table, workbenches, hand tools, drill press, table saw etc. A couple of my favorites are the 1940’s drill press from my wife’s grandpa and my hand tools.

What tool(s) do you most enjoy using in the design process?

I am obsessed and have quite a collection of mechanical pencils. As for designing, I enjoy using my Rocketbook, Sketchup and most of all being in the shop getting my hands dirty.

Let’s talk about how you’re wired. Tell us about your tech arsenal/devices.

MacBook Pro and monitor plus an iPhone. And a good set of speakers that we made in the shop. MasterDynamic headphones for full focus.

What design software do you use, if any, and for what?

Sketchup, Adobe Suite, and Ommwriter (for interviews like this one)!

What’s on your desk right now?

Laptop, speakers, pencils, water, notebook, phone.

Is there a favorite project/piece you’ve worked on?

Hmmm. I usually enjoy the process more than the outcome. Which in a sense is good, because I am always looking for the next challenge. However, I get bored easily and tired of making the same thing over and over. My favorite piece recently would be our pool table, which took a lot of head-scratching and engineering. I also made a Conoid chair (designed by George Nakashima) when I first got into woodworking years ago, and really like that piece, as it represents a lot in my journey. That was the piece that taught me the most about woodworking. As a project, designing and building out our new space has been really fun. We did it in a month which was nuts, and we did everything ourselves. I love to work with space and decide how it should be used, how to make it fun to work in, and maximize its functionality.

Do you feel like you’ve made it? What has made you feel like you’ve become successful? At what moment/circumstances? Or what will it take to get there?

You are only as successful as you tell yourself you are. I like to ride the fence of success, halfway there and halfway not. Comfort is the enemy of greatness. I like the challenge of being the underdog, and working hard to get there, and never being bored. I do try and celebrate the small victories of life, the everyday successes as that brightens my mood and the atmosphere in general.

Tell us about a current project you’re working on. What was the inspiration behind it?

We are next working on a drop leaf dining table for small spaces. It will be easy to ship, and easy to have in a small space, yet easily convert when there are more than two of you at the table. I bought a vintage one a few months ago on Craigslist and I love the adaptability of it and am confident that we can make a fresh one that many people will enjoy.

Do you have anything in your home that you’ve designed/created?

Not much at the moment. We had a dining table, but I gave it to a friend. I did a lot of custom pieces for our house (like a bar, shelving, and a large walnut countertop that goes over our dishwasher). And I made our credenza as a one-off years ago.

Photos by Lonnie Webb and Scott Snyder.

via http://design-milk.com/

from WordPress https://connorrenwickblog.wordpress.com/2018/11/20/where-i-work-sean-woolsey/

[itsjayyyy]

July 2, 2018 11:17 pm

So yesterday I went to work and all that jazz, and as my shift was ending rose sent me a text saying she was going to paul’s birthday dinner and they wouldn’t be back at their place until a little later, and I should wait until they come back to slide over. I responded that since it was sunday night (back to school), I was planning on heading back to my college for the night. But as soon as I sent that message I realized that they were offering to let me stay over again, and there was no way in hell I’d pass up that opportunity. So I quickly added “but if yall are cool with me staying over I’ll wait ya sure.” I still drove out to my college after my shift, though, because I still needed to shower. After I got out of the shower, I rearranged my locker, then rose texted me saying they were gonna get boba, so I linked up with them there. I got chocolate milk tea (reminded me a lot of chocolate milk w a lot of syrup) with chili pepper popping boba (not as spicy as I expected it to be).

While we were there, rose mentioned plane ticket costs and how they were predicted to go down and I was like wait. Yall are still planning on going to this music festival. After we literally had a huge fight over that. About how I gave yall $850 because I thought you needed it and now you won’t even help me get off the streets. Okay.

I just kind of stewed in my anger instead of saying it out loud, though, since paul’s sister was with them and I didn’t want to leave a bad impression on her. When the boba shop closed we migrated outside to have a cigarette and then talk some more. Peter and I sat on the curb and talked about how he was kind of scared he wouldn’t be a good father since he never had one growing up, and then I started to teach him how to ride a motorcycle. Then we stopped by a gas station (where I accidentally spilled gas all over my tank), and then went back to their place to smoke a bowl. Bruh, when I tell you peter has the comfiest bed in the world, I mean it.

The next morning (today), rose told me that apparently in my sleep i reached over her, grabbed peter’s arm, and held it close to me. But I held it in an angle that put his hand right on my titties. I’m a very cuddly person when I’m asleep, in my defense. She also told me that the night before, I swung my leg over her (like a full body hug) and accidentally kicked peter in the balls. I’m so sorry, peter.

So I woke up around 10:30 ish, laid in bed, then rose and I watched another episode of mother. We got to the part where seol ak dies ahhh it’s so sad. I know I’m not supposed to feel bad for him bc he’s an abuser and all but man, with a backstory like that you gotta at least feel a little bad for him. Then I went to therapy, but I got to that side of town about 30 mins early so I stopped at a mcdonald’s for breakfast. And by breakfast I mean a small fries and a medium hazelnut iced coffee. I don’t eat at mcdonald’s that often, but I noticed some things were different: you order on a touch screen, and the workers that bring your food wear very professional outfits, like they work at a hotel or something.

This was the first therapy session that I felt that she was actually giving me some solid advice, instead of just listening to me. But in her defense, most of the times I tell her about my problems, I follow it up with my solutions so she never gets an opportunity to help me. Today she suggested I write a letter to my parents, because it allows me to carefully compile and revise what I say, there’s no chance of them interrupting me, and they can reread it as many times as they need to. She also said that I should ask rose and peter to pay me back, considering that I’m homeless and need money to at least rent a hotel or something. When she first said that (and for the next few hours), I was like fuck yeah give me my money back. But now that I’ve simmered down, I feel bad because rose has two speeding tickets she has to pay for, and she still hasn’t gotten her first paycheck, and her car ran out of gas today. But if she just agreed to not go to lollapalooza, maybe I wouldn’t be so upset.

After therapy I drove out to my college again to chill on the upper floor of the library (my new fav spot). I watched the final episode of mother, and I’m so happy it has a happy ending ahh. It reaffirmed my love of social work. Even though rose said she was going to donate plasma on the east side and then meet up with me, she never messaged me the rest of the day. I’m getting really fed up with that tbfh. I texted her saying “so much for finishing mother today” and she responded about how her car ran out of gas. I just don’t want to think about her and mom talking at home ugh.

After the library closed, I drove right off campus to the gas station to pick up some cup noodles. I also bought a bottle of water since it’s cheaper there, and also a pack of hostess donuts because I deserve them. I remember hearing when I was a very young child something about the average family lives on $2 a day (apparently I misheard, it’s the line of poverty that’s $2 a day), and now I think I want to adopt a similar mentality. I’m not going to go as far as going to $2 a day right now (which would be 2 cups of noodles and nothing more), but I do want to curb my spending on food. Of course, buying prepared meals will always be more expensive than preparing food by hand, but since I don’t have a kitchen that’s a paradoxical luxury I can’t afford. I just want to spend less money on starbucks, mcdonald’s (that breakfast was like $4!!!), etc. and see how much extra I can save. Here’s my plan: buy a box of any cheap super sugary cake (like zebra cakes, twinkies, etc) since they come as a pack of 6 for $1.79 and contain enough calories to be a full meal. That’ll be my mid day snack. That comes out to 30 cents per day. Then I’ll allow, say, a cup of noodles or easy mac or maybe a can of soup from the gas station, which is between $1-2, for dinner. If I currently set a budget of $5 per day, that leaves around $2.70 for breakfast, which could be two donuts at dunkin. 

I also want to start balancing my checkbook, because I feel like that would help me be more aware of my spending. I set it up in the back of my comp sci notebook already; I plan on doing my checking account in black ink, my discover card in red, and my capital one in blue because I feel that if I only do my checking then I’ll just hide all my purchases from my conscience in my credit cards.

I’m really wishing I had taken the 5 packs of chopsticks from my yellow backpack and put them in my blue backpack, because I’m currently trying to eat noodles with a bottle cap as my eating utensil and it is not working out.

I think I might start looking into living on my own if I can’t talk things through with everyone else. I mean, they still want to go to lolla, but literally the month after they plan on moving out and they don’t even have a savings account? And they haven’t even paid for the trip’s expenses? Yikes. I mean, I’m fucking homeless and even my savings account is at least in the triple digits.

We’ll see, though. I just can’t wait until I’m 24 with a stable income, my own house, and a great career in social work.