#not saying its bad to be straight btw
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ok is it just me or has the kotlc fandom been a lot more... straight? recently? like i feel like im not seeing as much queer content regarding the characters lately
#not saying its bad to be straight btw#i just havent seen as much shipping and art for things like four horsegirls or marellinh#it feels like such a huge contrast from even just like half a year ago#maybe its just one of the kotlc blogs i followed recenly?? bc they ship more straight stuff
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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
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Ok so. I just saw a Reddit comment (idk why I get on reddit fandom cause it always ends up making me mad) saying that the Alastor and Husk scene was probably the first time Alastor was that violent towards Husk because of him talking back to Al in the first place.
Aka, Alastor isn't abusive to Husk, except for that one time. And ISTG that comment made me want to crawl into the darkest pit of hell (ha, get it?).
SO, let's explain why Alastor's treatment of Husk isn't a one time thing.
Husk and abuse: a character analysis.
First of all, let's explain Husk's personality and why he acts the way he does.
Husk's character is presented to us as a grumpy old alcoholic who only wants people to leave him the fuck alone. He doesn't care about the hotel, about any of its members, or about Alastor's plans. He doesn't want to collaborate, he doesn't want to be there, and he doesn't care enough to act as though he does.
But, reality is:
Husk cares. Way more than he wishes he did.
He doesn't show it often, but he cares. He shows it when he calls Sir Pentious, Charlie, Vaggie and Angel out at the beginning of Masquerade, and ofc, he shows it with Angel throughout this whole chapter.
(I find the heart motif on Husk's demon form to be very interesting, actually. I like to think that one of the things Husk hates the most about himself is that, as much as he wants to fake otherwise, as much as he sees it as a weakness, as much as it just complicates everything, he cares. And death taunts him with that, displaying for everyone to see the heart he so desperately wants to hide.)
Also, Husk is very good at reading people. He hates fakeness, he hates lies, he hates people being dense because they're trying to ignore a reality about themselves.
All of these things get on his nerves enough to show that he, in fact, cares.
And he sure as fuck loves (maybe a bit too much) winning an argument against someone who's pissing him off.
So, let's go to Alastor.
A while ago I saw an amazing post (that now i cant find aaaa if someone finds it pls let me know) that talked about how this isn't the expression of someone who's just been beaten at poker, but it's an expression of sadness and betrayal.
This post implied, therefore, that Husk and Alastor had built a previous relationship of trust before the betrayal, either platonic or romantic (which had been just manipulation from Alastor's side, just like he's now doing with Charlie)
If we take this into account, it makes more sense why Husk would care about Mimzy being trouble. Not only for the safety of the rest at the hotel, but also just a tiny little bit, for Alastor's own safety.
Don't get me wrong, I'm very sure that Husk hates Alastor, but there's this tiny, annoying part of him that can't help but care.
So, let's cut to the infamous scene.
Husk didn't confront Alastor because he had never been violent towards him before. Husk confronted Alastor because he cares, and because people being stupid gets on his nerves, and because he finds it hard to hold back when he knows he's right.
Also, it had been 7 years since he had seen Alastor. It's normal that he's gained more confidence to confront him.
AND, despite all of this, he was reluctant in the beggining.
In the first screenshot, Husk gets visibly angry at Alastor because of his dismissive attitude while his back is turned at him. But when Husk speaks again, you can see him visibly holding back, choosing his words carefully with that "I mean".
(Go rewatch the scene if you wanna, it's way more clear that way than via screenshots ksdldf)
Compare this to the much more accusatory way Husk was calling out Chaggie, Sir Pentious and Angel in back chapter 4. Husk is being careful with Alastor.
Despite all we know about Husk's personality that leads him to warn Alastor about Mimzy in the first place, Husk still holds all of that back.
Why? Cause he knows better than to say something that might anger him.
It's only when Alastor touches Husk and calls him his pet that Husk loses his temper.
As we know, Husk has VERY strong personal boundaries (probably some of them come from Alastor's touch itself)
Alastor trespassing his boundaries is what makes Husk stop thinking logically. He's pissed, and he hates Alastor, and he hates how he makes him feel so powerless, so insignificant, like less of a human.
And he bites back.
The comment I saw implied that Husk said the "big talk for someone who's also on a leash" because he thought it wouldn't have any major effect on Alastor, and he unknowingly touched a touchy subject.
But this is even slightly out of character for Husk. He didn't say it because he didn't think it would make Alastor mad, he said it because he knew it would make him mad.
Husk is fucking amazing at reading people. He knew it was a touchy subject. He wasn't thinking about consequences, he was thinking about pissing Alastor off, about regaining control.
(He's a gambler, cmon. Searching for control and power without minding the consequences is his thing.)
This is NOT a "what the fuck is he doing?" face. It's an "oh no, not again" face.
And immediately, he tries to take it back. The rush of making Alastor mad passes away the moment he pulls out the chain, and Husk knows what's coming.
Alastor has done that before. Judging by Husk's body language, there's NO way on earth he hasn't.
One VERY important thing to take into account is: victims have personalities.
Of course, victims tend to have unifying factors in their trauma responses due to similar experiences, but overall: a victim isn't an archetype, it's a person.
There are different types of abuse. Everyone reacts differently towards abuse.
Saying that Husk isn't being abused by Alastor just because he talks back is. Well. Kinda weird, isn't it?
(Maybe I'm exaggerating but doesn't it sound like victim blaming a bit??)
The important thing is that this is how Valentino and Alastor treat Angel and Husk:
Yes, they are different types of abuse. Yes, Angel and Husk's reactions to it are different.
But this doesn't make one kind less valid than the other. And just because Alastor isn't sexually abusive to Husk, that doesn't mean Husk's abuse is "less important" (this isn't a competition, ffs)
Husk's personality, Husk's hatred of stupidity, Husk's reactive nature, Husk's strong boundaries, don't automatically disappear when he's talking with his abuser. He's still Husk.
And yet, we can still see the signs of abuse, such as Husk holding back at the beginning because he knows what Alastor may do if he's mad, or him flinching away slightly when Alastor turns suddenly to look at him, or him trying to take back what he just said immediately because he's scared of the consequences.
And, let's be serious. Alastor is a serial killer. He enjoys watching people suffer. He enjoys knowing that people fear him.
And, since he's on a "leash", as Husk said, I'm very sure this hurts his ego a whole lot. So, it makes sense that he loves feeling that he has control over the souls he owns, that they fear him, to forget he's not completely free himself.
It's not so far fetched to assume that Alastor gets a quick and an ego boost out of seeing Husk like that, terrified and shivering on the ground. So I don't believe he hasn't done it before.
(And I mean, even if this only happened the one time we see it in the show, it would still be abusive?? It would be Alastor using his power to physically and psychologically torment Husk, which is abuse, even if it's only once ((which i highly doubt)))
In conclusion: Alastor is an abuser. There's no way around it. And Husk is a victim of abuse.
Sorry this got long SLKDS
Tbh I think everything I said here is pretty obvious?? Like to me that scene always read as a way of the show telling us Alastor's true colors once no one's watching, and the way he treats Husk. Like, it didn't even cross my mind that it might have been an isolated occurrence.
But the comment had around 50 upvotes so?? Idk I just wanted to rant about this lmao
#its hard being a husk girly in a world full of alastor apologist#btw this is NOT trying to beef at all with alastor fans#i think he's an amazing character and he's hilarious#but GUYS. he is NOT a good person ffs#theres a very big different between characters like husk angel cherry sir pentious (who make mistakes and arent saints but who care deeply)#and characters like valentino and alastor (straight up abusive psycopaths)#and im not saying that y'all cant like any of the characters#they're AMAZING characters and vilians#but ignoring the fact that they're horrible and irredimable people is very yikes#(also im aware that husk was an overlord and he probably did some fucked up shit)#(and maybe im biased but i REALLY doubt that a guy who gets on a fight with a group of dudes bc they spiked the drink of a guy who's been-#-nothing to him but a nuisance could ever be as bad as alastor or val)#(he was probably like carmilla ig)#(not moral at all but not irredimable either)#ANYWAYSSS im ranting again#tw abuse#abuse tw#tw sa#sa tw#tw sa mention#sa mention tw#husk hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel husk#husker#hazbin husk#husk#alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor the radio demon#alastor hazbin
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the way some people straight up have no respect for asou's writing is actually kind of insane to me 😭 like youre a fan of HIS manga, but you outwardly express your disregard for the intentions he had when writing....... disregarding canon can be super duper funsies and cool sometimes, but to straight up say "i dont care what he intended and think my headcanons are more canon than what he wrote because i think he wrote it badly/he sucks at writing this dynamic/i dont like the ship (or whatever) he was trying to imply" is literally just insanely disrespectful IN MY OPINION 😖
i think maybe im just annoyed at how badly people misuse the words "canon", "coded", and "implied" (which im also guilty of occasionally- especially when i first came here) cuz like... "i choose not to acknowledge this thing that is canon or technically canon or implied" is fine (usually). "i know what the author intended but i dont like it or care, so im going to call my headcanon/ship canon and anyone who disagrees is disregarding canon and is stupid because i said so" is NOT fine... ☠️☠️☠️
#where did you guys learn fandom etiquette#OR ETIQUETTE IN GENERAL ?? CUZ WDYM 'ur bad at writing and my opinion is better than the actual source material lolZ'#not caring about canon or implied ships is fine but straight up being like#'well i like this ship better so im gonna say he just sucks at writing romance lol' is WEIRD#'he sucks at writing romance therefore my ship is more canon than the one he actually intended'#like what... ok..?#that is actually just straight up the opposite of what canon means... but ok...#critiquing his writing or expressing an opinion is very different from just disregarding and disrespecting the intentions he wrote it with#this isn't specifically about ships btw but its the best example i have of this#not targetted btw#this post is triggered by multiple things i saw on tiktok and reddit and maybe on here a while ago#dont really remember#also heres your obligatory 'u can do whatever u want but im allowed to call u out as rude if ur rude'#so nobody comes into my replies crying about how im not allowed to be annoyed at them for being annoying#do what u want it literally doesnt matter but u cant be an ass online and expect everyone else to just be silent#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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another fuckin EPIC picrew dropped you know what that means.
anyways. all their routes in a dating sim are Bad Ends ask me how.
#its fine ill say it: doesnt matter who you are RG will NOT go out with you. you ask him outright he says no.#if you give him gifts/ spend time with him first he gets nervous and thinks youre too good for him and says no#DUCK is easily worst. he assumes youre already in love with him. if you say you arent he pushes it even more.#he will be very fixated and doting and then once he has you he is sick of you in a week. you get DUMPED.#YG straight up would not even date you. hes too excited to have new friends#you keep trying to hit on him and hes like wow youre such a nice friend ive never had a friend thats. that will say the nicest things u do😊#he also constantly thinks you hate him for being stupid even if you never even implied that#ALL BAD ENDS IN A DATING SIM!#thats my onion. anyways#my dhmis postings#oh hope u like their diff fits btw#puppet picrews
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I DONT WANNA BE THE OWNER OF YOUR FANTASY!!! I JUST WANNA BE A PART OF YOUR FAMILY!!!!!
#ME WHEN🥰🤩😘😍🥰😍🥰😍🤩😘😘🥰😍😍😍#i can never have irl friendships w/o them being tainted by my sexuality lolll#like it was fine when all of my friends were queer. that group was fucked for vastly different reasons#but like. straight men who KNOW that im a lesbian will start being friendly and im incredibly fucking lonely all the time so its like :) yay#and then EVERY TIME. it was only ever bc they wanted to fuck me.#and if i have one more fucking 'straight' girl tell me i turned her gay im going to blow something up#you dont even like me youve j had bad experiences w men and have a weird romanticised view of wlw relationships#and youve decided that i fit the bill of ur aesthetic shit bc you think all the other queer girls we know are ugly.#insane thing to say btw. 'oh im having a sexuality crisis over u bc ur the only hot lesbian ive ever met.' real love for the community there#anyway. this keeps happening and im so bored of it this is why im shit at irl friendships#nyxi cant stfu#vent post
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#SPEAKING OF BAD KH FANS SAYING WE JUST WANT TO SEE SORIKU BANG#if JT wasnt garbage i would post the clip of him going 'ooooOOOOHHHHhhh' from hercules games#for context: in the second comment theyre referring to a previous one of mine#where i said how i dislike being labeled a yaoi fangirl for shipping soriku#and in the third the 'deviance' theyre speaking of is another of mine where i said some ppl interpret xion being a girl#as sora having gender envy towards kairi#(deviance is a word i see thrown around a LOT by transphobes/homophobes)#i havent bothered to reply bc its just not worth it to try and argue with these ppl but like#1. mention of light tunnel in kh3 with 'definition of romantic love' despite showing elsa and anna#2. 'there is no gay in kh' aka just straight up ignoring strelitzias canon crush on the khux player regardless of gender#anyway. i contemplated just sending the ram ranch copypasta in response#but decided against it. at least for now#this isnt even on the soriku comp btw#this is on the video 'dont worry kh3 is still gay' lol#oh uh minor tw for aku/roku mention
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been having wisdom tooth pain since saturday thats only getting worse and u kno what i understand him now i dont condone his actions but man,,,,i get it 💀
#priscus#he severely abused ponti bc he had hundreds of teeth growing in wrong in at least 15-20 parts of his body so its not Actually his fault uw#this is a fukkin joke btw in case some fuck takes to my ask box lmfao#GODDDD IT HIURTS#my appointment just to get referred to get them removed is in a week bruh idk if i can last that long genuinely#this aint even bad timing at this point this is straight up malicious this body wants me dead i tell u dead#its starting to fuck up literally half of my teeth like what is the long term damage going to be maNNNN#dont even get me started on the wisdom tooth removal surgery in and of itself like#my whole life i fear this bc i would quite literally rather die than be a blithering swollen faced idiot spouting god only knows what to my#loved ones fuck fuck ufuukckccc#remember kids this is what they mean when they say procrastination will ruin ur life take it from me a pro procrastinator
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making the bagel post had me scratching my head going now let me remember what meat eaters eat hold on i got this i got this .
#i have a bad habit of accidentally making my ocs vegetarian or just rarely bringing up things theyd like to eat#velouria i think is for sure a veg of some kind. probably politically inclined as well#but i had to think about ok what would my mom eat on a bagel ... what would so n so eat ....#true story im serious im not bragging when i say any of this btw i am just sooo out of the fucking loop at times#you would think this would be not true what with my bake off interest where they had a whole game themed week 🤢 heugh#straight up i just havent eaten meat (intentionally) since i was.....? 12/13????#when i say intentionally its bc one time my grandma put bacon bits . in a salad she made for me#and the other times my dad convinced me that certain things he'd order for us had no meat in them#very mean thing to do btw. if someone you know is vegetarian vegan or has like meat averse arfid or something else going on#do Not trick them like that it is not funny or cool. someone like me who hasnt eaten it in so long could get fucked up from it#THIS IS ALL TO SAY THAT I NEED TO DIVERSIFY MY OCS DIETS. BECAUSE IDK WHAT THESE FUCKERS ARE ON#lou i think will be the furthest thing from what i eat food wise. he cannot resist the american artform that is the cheese burger
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okay but why do people get so goddamn upset when you say that you dislike kids/being around kids???? i'm pretty sure no one is saying that kids should just straight up stop existing, or that kids shouldn't be allowed in any public place ever. when most people say they don't like kids it means that they're sick of hearing screaming for an hour and a half in the local walmart because some kid's parent won't buy them a ps5. they mean they're sick of hearing cocomelon on full blast while waiting in the purgatory that the checkout line. they're sick of nearly running a kid over with a shopping cart because said kid's idea of fun is laying on the floor in the middle of the aisle and their parent can't be bothered to tell them to get up. that's what people mean when they say they dislike kids.
no one (at least, no one i've ever heard of) is trying to physically accost children simply for existing in a public place. no one is trying to argue that children shouldn't exist, or be allowed in public places. i feel like some of you are forgetting that "man im 5 seconds away from killing this [x]" is a figure of speech and not actual homicidal ideation. god motherfuckin damn. get a grip
#scary crane rambles#not fandom#let's get serious#like. im sorry you desperately want to project your trauma onto random kids in the supermarket#but im pretty sure rolling on the floor and trying to climb the shelves aren't exactly Acceptable Supermarket Activities™#also does ''let kids be kids'' also extend to destructive temper tantrums??#if someone's straight up screaming at their kid in public for doing a little spin its one thing (and its also bad btw)#but if your coworker gets fed up with hearing several hours of screaming induced by tfw no ps5 i think its reasonable#also. there are literally places dedicated to kids having fun. are you guys aware of that#and none of them are the supermarket. none of them are the local walmart. hate to say it but its true#please for the love of god learn what a playground is. learn what a park is.#not trying to say you should leave your kids unattended there whenever you go shopping btw#im just saying there are in fact places for kids to have fun that arent the local walmart
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there is undeniable opportunity to make bellum x linebeck fucked up but i dont have it in me. im a sucker for it just being fine with a side of like. light nautical crimes against nature but i cant make it toxic or w/e after a certain point. theyre chilling
#bellum x linebeck#salty talks#this is a light hearted post btw this is me celebrating enjoying making it soft at the end of the#the fucked up stuff is reserved for whatever happens during possession and also when theyre not romantically involved#ie. a lot of my aus. tbh tho they do also border on romantic? in a ‘canon’ ph or ph adjacent setting theyre just chilling#theres nothing straight up like really toxic with those bc 1 not my thing and 2 woulsnt really add anything imo#like i do think they can just strike up an agreement to not screw with each other and bellum figures he doesnt need to mess with linebeck#its the bonus of bellum can’t verbally communicate without showing that he has a human form#anyways. ive decided i cant actually warch gravity falls until i finish the fic anyways#i need to be able to say i havent seen it while i write this fic. there are too many possible connections i need this#also like. the most impact gravity falls has actually had on my life has been me seeing those twink humanizations of bill years ago#and that therefore being the main fucking reason why ive been fighting tooth and nail to get to the bellum humanization i have now#that fucker has caused me so many problems and i only recently found out what his fucking voice sounds like#anyways surprise surprise the person writing this fic for self indulgent reasons is catering heavily to themselves#tbh in post this fic and post ph (where its less like theyre dating and more like he occasionally makes it a polycule)#all of the bad shit is gotten out of the way before anything actually starts#with the aus where its a little more fucked its more just like. homoerotic. with different relationships around it#THO i do feel like theres somehow a pressure to make it fucked up? cuz its the default yknow. but i dont rlly like that so no#i think its more interesting for the work to be put in for it to be decent. i mean square one is bellum using linebeck as disposable bait
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a wild assortement of comic wip screenshots and a random doodle that i posted to twitter but not here
(this doodle here is of Raal (aka demise before he became a deity) but whatever happens here isnt anything 'canon', i just randomly doodled him to try a loosen up my painting style bc when i work on the comic i tend to concentrate too much of rendering it perfectly and i dont like that)
#ganondoodles#doodles#art#i am so very tired#too tired for tags#btw i do love and read every ask i get but damn i just dont have the energy to reply to most#and i feel so guilty#i wish i could make a warning show up when someone wants to send me an ask#that just says -yo i love and cherish and reread all asks but unfortunately have zero energy to reply but chances are it made me cry-#given the asks isnt mean spirited or straight up bots#which my impsoter brain sometimes still tries to make me think#like either woo look at all those people LYING to your face#but i have grown alot since those days and now its mostly just#so look what a nice and lovely absolutely beautiful ask this person send you and you disrespectful fool are not answering it shame upon you#thats most likely why i have been getting less and less and man i feel so bad#like when its asks about drawing advice i either dont know what to say bc i dont have any idea what im doing eihter#or bc i plan a giant response with a big ass illustrated tutorial even tho i know i neither got the time or energy for it#but still cant answer then bc wait you wanted to make a tutorial you cant answer it just like that#and when its a super nice compliment about my art i just#dont know how to express my gratitude and silently reread it time and time again never answering it bc then it would be gone from the inbox#;__;#alright falling asleep brain better not have written sth i will regret reading tomorrow#i think this is the longest tags i put on a completely unrelated post of mine#if you have read all these tags send me an ask only containing the name of your fav fruit and i will make you a little pixel sprite of it
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every once in a while i have to sit down and ponder the issues i swear i don’t have in silence for a bit
#p#i saw a video of this guy surprising his girlfriend while filming a video tgt proposing to her in her native language#and i thought omg thats so cute …. if that happened to me i think id kill myself on the spot but i’m so happy for them!#why is the thought of anything remotely romantic happening to me so viscerally repugnant#actually not just romantic thats just the worst kind but like. any thoughtful sweet or considerate gesture towards me i’m like#One of us needs to die immediately to be rid of this curse.#all the inner work out the window no nuance just violence#it doesn’t go both ways btw. i can do nice things but if they happen to me i need to eat glass immediately. you know the normal response#its so bad my friends keep saying i just need to date a straight man that way i’ll never have this problem JELWNSOWNSN#but then the problem is the straight man in question that will make me violent for other reasons#bag on a stick I’ll go die. i’ll go to work
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people who say that theyre "the only one right about this character" and then u open their page and its the most horrendous, twisted, far-fetched mischaracterization youve ever seen
#like genuinely who let you think that that was at all accurate im so dead#especially because they diss all the other people who talk about the character#but theyre talking about people who are actually right ?? or at least not SO far-fetched#a rare conundrum#it reeks of self obsession tbh like its one thing to make fun of people for how they see a character when the characterization is harmless#and another to make such bold claims about how ur the only right one#and then not even be right ??? u had one job#ugh its so annoying#jokingly saying u know everything abt ur character is different than being a straight up dick about it like wtf#if ur gonna make fun of other peoples takes and treat them like theyre dumb.. at LEAST make sure yours arent fucking dumb too#you smell bad btw#not tagging this i actually dont want people seeing this one lmao#meows post
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ultimately my enjoyment is hampered because it is low key sexist bc it takes place in an alternate universe where Sigmund Freud is real. though I did still like it for the most part but I hate Sigmund Freudddd Utena better
#Btw noril don’t read these tags there are spoilers#like idk id have to think abt it more maybe talk abt it with someone else#like does this overall criticize or reinforce gender roles slash heterosexuality#bc like shinji clearly is not the ideal of masculinity and I don’t think that’s seen as a bad thing bc its not like toji’s personality#is seen all that positively either#+ obviously shinji not being a stone cold murderer like gendo wants is a good thing lol#and shinji is straight up into kaworu obviously#but there are a lot of counter examples as well#also I think the adult female characters are all undermined by their sexuality#like ofc gendo and the other old bitch whose name I forget are motivated by their love for yui#but they are stone cold about it. I don’t want to see ritsuko break down crying abt how gendo doesn’t love her dawg#to the point where she is choking out rei being jealous of a child#I think to some extent the show is aware of there being a power imbalance between men and women but even if its treating the#Female characters as distinct individuals worthy of success I think it is a) victimizing them b) claiming there is an inherent unchanging#biological basis for all of these things#pitying of women rather than having contempt for them lol#the only mentally stable person is kaji#you could also say ofc that the 4 main characters who are the most miserable and traumatized#have special attention given to how emotionally broken they are bc they are especially scarred not bc they are women#since obviously shinji is there <I think he’s a trans girl anyway but we are talking abt authorial intent#but I think the way they are treated and the nature of their problems especially asuka and misato is highly highly gendered#not a bad thing inherently since obviously their gender impacts their life#but it does feel less like bc they are a woman society treats them badly#and more like bc they are a woman they are weaker and more emotional and easily hurt. or more emotional about how they are hurt#and shinji is like them bc he is particularly weak#I’ve only seen the show not the movie or rebuilds but him being the only one to resolve his arc positively#asukas mom killing herself over a man ritsuko and her mom and misato self destructing over men#<made worse bc they are grown women so theoretically more mature but since they are susceptible to sexuality they are weaker#than even the female children#‘it’s sad that men have all the control but men will always have all the control’ it feels like. idk thoughhh
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Huh. That sure was a movie.
#red white and royal blue#personal#i saw a tweet yesterday saying that the rwrb movie is an instance of 'gay people deserve bad movies too'#and honestly? yeah theyre right#it was not great 😬#it really felt like the movie only focused on alex and henry#and while i love them as characters and im aware that it is their story#i really wished that they wouldve. u know. shown the other characters#it really felt like they were forgotten abt. like in the book if a character wasnt present in a scene u kinda knew they were around#but in the movie it just felt like other characters didnt exist if they werent around alex and/or henry#nora and bea literally are never in a scene without alex or henry. same thing with pez#(and btw PERCY??? percy??? ur sticking with percy??? no pez? pez didnt roll off the tongue just percy??? fine. ok. whatever)#ellen and oscar going from divorced and on shaky ground (fueling alot of alex's issues and trauma as a result) to married? like what?#they straight up removed actors from this movie. i remember polo morin being casted and him doing interviews#why the sudden removal? what happened?#speaking of removal. it really felt like they forgot to add scenes in bcos the pacing just felt off?#like one minute there would be a scene where nothing is really happening and the next theyre in paris like huh???#how did we get here?#there were just so many little to medium sized issues for me that kinda hindered this for me#im not saying its all bad cos it wasnt. it was a funny enough movie (the comedy both intentional and not was my fav part)#the love scene in paris was really beautiful like holy shit#i liked the performances enough? i dunno abt that one#none of them r bad actors really but tzp isnt really it for me sorry...#he was good in like the comedy scenes (actually he was really good there) but i just couldnt take him seriously during the confession like#i just felt nothing. i feel like thats my basic overall opinion for the movie. i felt nothing. still had fun tho#i watched the movie with my friends and i honestly think that added to it more. this is def a watch with friends and talk kinda movie#my friends knew i had read the book as well so throughout they would ask me questions and i kinda felt excited sharing facts abt the book#alright i need to wrap this up. it was eh. maybe i need to rewatch it without people around? maybe?#it def adds to the fun of it watching the movie with people but i def did miss 1 or 2 things#if u wanna hear more of my thoughts my dms r open. cos man do i have alooooot
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