#not my fault you're stupid
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Terfs on Pathologic tumblr, more than once? Literally pass away.
Makes me remember that one patho terf who tried to cross over into disco elysium tumblr and got blocked by I think 99% of accounts that post about DE. An energy every fandom should strive to embody.
#terf daniil fans? he would literally shoot you#'wah wah wah I'm obsessed with the perceived immutability of my flesh to the point it's my only personality feature'#and then you go be a fan of the guy literally fighting death and the very laws of medicine and the human body? embarrassing#cw terfs#pathologic#pathologic 2#this is just like terves in classic literature circles especially russian classics where instead of just one personality feature (tervism)#they have a whopping two!#tervism AND having read a book that's hs mandatory reading#leading to them kinning ivan karamazov as a terf or something#ivan karamazov is literally transmasc#not my fault you're stupid
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THIRTY-ONE DAYS OF GHOST ⛧ DAY ONE
first song you heard — Mary On A Cross
September 1969; Papa Nihil and the beginning of the Ghost Project take to the stage at the Whiskey a Go Go club in Los Angeles, under the watchful eye of Sister Imperator. Fifty-three years later, in Tampa, Florida, Papa Emeritus the Fourth performs Mary On A Cross, unaware that he is singing the story of his parents—and that of himself.
#note: i'm aware this song is about so much more than the fictional ghost story. just really enjoying that aspect of it rn#very nearly didn't do this series because some people are a bit silly about fans who heard moac as the first song. i'm owning it sdkjcksh#it wasn't the song that made me a fan as i will show in the next post but moac slaps so hard and#if you only like moac and nothing else you're still a ghestie to me <3#not my fault i was on instagram in autumn of 2022#i was going through some stuff then and listening to clips of this pretty song on random videos was something i enjoyed#didn't know the name of it or who sung it but kept hearing it at 4am when i couldn't sleep and everything was falling apart around me#when all i could do was try to escape it until the morning#i feel a bit stupid saying this but when i listen to it now and remember hearing it back then#it's like ghost was there for me even when i didn't know it#waiting for me to find them and everything their music would teach me#until the time was right#ghost31#papa emeritus iv#the band ghost#papa nihil#sister imperator#mary on a cross#user copia edits#user copia all tag#wait for the next tags i'm also tagging:#rite here rite now spoilers#i'm emotional about their messed up little family finding each other right at the very end. they never let each other go#flashing gif#<- ig
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can you believe mike literally said "it's not my fault you don't like girls" and just let that sit? like. he didn't even try to backtrack. no "I mean yet! it's not my fault you don't have a girlfriend yet!" he just breezed right past it. "it's not my fault you're gay!" right into "I'm not trying to be a jerk okay?" he fully just let it stay like that. he's insane
#like obviously he was projecting and he wasn't intentionally calling will gay#bc if he even SUSPECTED that will was gay this story would be going a bit different#but he's not stupid. he still knows how that sounds. he said “it's not my fault you don't like girls!”#and that was his full and complete sentence. and he obviously probably meant “yet” but that's not what he SAID#and he's not stupid he's gotta know that saying “it's not my fault you don't like girls”#sounds an awful lot like “it's not my fault you're fucking GAY”#AND HE LITERALLY DOESN'T TRY TO BACKTRACK OR REPHRASE IT AT ALL AKSJFJFKSKD#HE'S SO INSANE PLEASE#stranger things#byler#mike wheeler
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thinking about the person i could have been if i tried a little harder to find my own way
#probably the thing i am resenting my parents for right now is how good they were at convincing me#not to pursue any career paths other than the ones they laid out#every time i was like hey this seems interesting should i check it out? they would be so quick with the#do you care enough about it to stake your livelihood on it? to do it for your whole working life?#and obviously 8 yo 12 yo 14 yo 17 yo 18 yo me would get terrified and go no sorry and just not look into anything further#supposedly this is the safe option but everything i do feels meaningless#all of the jobs in this field seem meaningless#the job market in this field right now is dog shit and I'm fighting like hell for positions that just make me sad to think about#but every time i think hey what if i tried another thing#now my brain shuts me down with the do you care enough about it to stake your livelihood on it#your whole life on it#and the answer is no and it's gonna be no for a long time i bet#don't know if I'll ever find my way out of it#told my roommate's boyfriend about my general dispassion for pretty much everything in life#he asked me if I'm even a person#which feels very true#i feel like this path I've followed if i keep following it#I'm not going to be a person i can be proud of#i know it's really early in my life to say but#idk if it's nature or nurture or my own damn fault but all the ambition has been weaned out of me and I've been getting just surviving#i just wish i got told more you can be whatever you want to be :)#instead of whatever you'll do you'll be good at so do what makes money and push your hobbies to the side you can do them after you retire#your mom likes this and you're good at it so you'll like it too it'll make you money this is the best thing#the other thing is harder and doesn't make as much money don't do that you won't like it that much i bet#when i was younger#maybe I'd be struggling more but I'd be really happy and fulfilled#or maybe this is genuinely the best timeline and eggs who tried to pursue art hates it now#maybe I'd be really stupid at all the other things i gave a passing glance at#eggsistential speaks#tag rant
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controversial opinion but I wish ADHD would be renamed by somebody who actually has ADHD
#sixpost#ADHD#look man I'm just tired of having Stupid Asshole Won't Sit Still And Listen Disorder#like dude how is any of this shit my fault I didn't pick out my own brain you fuck#what's next you gonna diagnose that kid in the wheelchair with Lazy Bitch Won't Stand Up Like A Normal Person Disorder?#eight years in college a buncha degrees that cost you about a hundred-thousand dollars each#and you're still sayin' the same shit my grandpa would say when I was a kid#“y'know son if you payed as much attention to your school work as you do to those video games you'd be getting straight A's”#YES GRANDPA I AM AWARE OF THAT THANK YOU FOR YOUR INPUT#I WILL NOW RETURN TO BEING PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF PAYING ATTENTION TO MY SCHOOLWORK BECAUSE IT IS BORING#PERHAPS FOR MY NEXT TRICK I WILL PICK UP A MOUNTAIN#HOW COULD I NOT IT'S SO SIMPLE JUST PICK IT UP RIGHT
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#anon I'm not 'this fandom' don't bring your bs into my inbox like you know anything#when you clearly don't know a thing about who I am or what I say and didn't even bother to do a little tiny searchy search on my blog#for the names you mention#and more generally: oh larries this ot5 fans that like tell me you're following shitty people without telling me that's not MY fault#me and my people over here aren't doing any of that shit maybe expand your horizons and find better blogs#and stop following stupid people
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It's really funny to me how Lysandre, despite being my personal WORST villain from the games until Rose came along, has somehow ended up with one of the best villain arc chapters in Masters (imo) and generally feels better handled as a character overall there, the best villain team portrayal in the manga, and the best villain arc in the anime.
This guy be winning everywhere else at least.
#lysandre#team flare#pokemon xy#pokemon xy&z#pokemon masters#pokemas#pokeani#anipoke#i liked rose before that stupid forced conflict#like there were so many better ways the writers could have introduced eternatus#like have it break confinement on its own#or have leon mainly lose to it because he's undergoing a crisis of confidence after losing to the player#but no#instead we got “i'm salty you're making me wait this extra day so I unleashed it anyway. this is your fault btw.”#my issue with Lys was mostly how he's played off despite his extremely troubling rhetoric#and his wasted potential#masters fixes him somewhat with the latter and it does feel like he's more open to sycamore and the kids#he's still dangerous and brutal to those who he sees as unworthy to live in his new world#but his interactions with sycamore and the kids are more positive than they were in xy
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It's absolutely a me thing, probably, but people who say that they hate an author and have the time to reiterate it endlessly but continues to support their work- without ever crediting the good part of the writing that makes them a fan to begin with- irks me so goddamn much.
An author and their work is very intrinsically tied together. They write their beliefs of the world in the text, their sociopolitical stance practically bleeds out from the pages. Of course this isn't the case when you're making a comic or book/any form of media for the sake of it being disturbing, but the point is, I need people to understand that an artist's work is an extension of themselves and you need to respect that especially if it's a work that you love and connect with.
#as someone who's work got toyed with like its nobody's business I need to emphasize on the importance of-#an artist's work that they give time and effort into sharing. HEAVY EMPHASIS ON EFFORT.#this comes from a place of “what. so an artist's property means nothing if it becomes too popular?” that spiraled and so i needed to vent#this is a one piece blog and maybe im talking about Oda and fans of his work but its really every damn piece of media you choose to consume#“i hate this author & how they portray this” and you'd make paragraphs of criticism (which is incredibly valid!) but in the same discussion#i seldom see “this was done well” “this scene was incredible” being attributed/credited as being due to the author's effort and creativity#if you hate the way it was done then its the authors fault but if you love it then you're not giving them praises for it#< something like that#rambles#this is my take on a select few fans mind you#i just hate it when people call someone stupid and still have the gal to say oh i love the work but not the “stupid” person behind it#be more empathetic. seriously#anyways !!respect an artist's work!! thats *their* property and *their* time and effort and if you hate it so much-#then don't engage with it. simple as.
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Jumpscare / Reminder that I am a minor, a teenager, 15 years of age
If you're mdni then feel free to get the fuck out of here
I don't care
Don't even bother to leave an ask either.
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What is with older men being gross to younger women??? There's the respectful looking I can deal with, but the shameless comments about YOUR NIECE makes me want to be sick help
#as soon as he heard I was 18!!! he went aw too bad I met your aunt first#“you're so hot for your young age” hello what is this why would you say that dude#i'm gonna puke#and somehow that's MY fault if he said those things??? hello does anyone have a brain in this stupid room other than me???#personal#im going to bed man fuck this shit
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#what if i just quit tumblr would you even notice?#anyway there's a bug on my screen#shit it flew away and almost killed itself in my desk lamp#careful buddy <3#so yeah i'm drunk and#my girlfriend is 7500 km away and#you're all friends with each other and not with me but it's my own fault because i can't have conversations like a person#and i voluntarily left the discord i was initially invited in#and discord is stupid actually??#and i don't fit in anywhere#and i wish i was still simping for paul darrow those were the days#but whatever#i'll just keep on talking to myself
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At some point, you realise that you're the only person apologising for getting into fights, and you need to realise that you are the problem. Apologising after the fact doesn't make you less of an asshole, it just makes you an asshole who can't commit.
If you think this is manipulative, you're right. I can't help going for pity points. It's built in. Further proof of my real colours.
#downloaded tumblr just to post this#I'm talking about myself#you ever flounce from the only social interaction in your life because you're a stupid sensitive idiot who insults people thoughtlessly#I'm deleting the app again after this#i merely wanted to clarify that that my decision to leave discord isn't unfounded: in every altercation and argument on discord#the fault has been mine#it's better I take accountability once and for all
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ahaha remember that fucking appointment for the mental hospital. so apparently they got it wrong and i'm actually supposed to be admitted today when i was clearly told that it was just an evaluation interview but of course nobody fucking believes me. treating me like i'm a crazy idiot. it was not a misunderstanding i may be crazy but i have functioning ears. well! extremely stressful i will never return here
#i'm about to crash out i had no sleep#to be so fucking fair i wouldn't believe me either lmao#romeo's wretched rambles#idk man i'm starting to doubt myself. what if i am just fully gone now. i can't trust my brain after all lmao#no romeo they literally said you didn't have your evaluation interview? that can't be you're supposed to be admitted today!#when that was the first time i ever stepped in that building?#or was it???#they were like if you're not staying right now we'll have to give the spot to someone else sorry :/#and now i feel horrible for leaving#i have no clothes or anything with me or even packed and nobody to call and pick some up and bring them to me what was i supposed to do???#man#idk. probably my and my stupid crazy brain's fault honestly. i ruin everything for myself <3#love the character arc i'm going through in this tag section compared to the actual post lmao
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okay so the doctors are probably gonna have to redo my whole jaw surgery in early december bc the reconstruction is just falling apart but hannukah is really late this year so hopefully i will be able to eat solids again by the holidays
#badeggs.biz#can one thing go right with my stupid body for once#medical cw#i am glad that i probably wont have to do actual xmas in the hospital again bc jewish or not that is always just a miserable experience LMAO#the hospital food staff serve a xmas turkey meal for the patients on the holiday and bless their hearts it is just so disgusting#it is not their fault i know they try but it is literally so gross#your mileage will vary depending on which hospital you're at
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There was a primary healthcare center I only worked at for a few days and then, they didn't want me anymore, because I didn't get along with the other staff members. One woman was OBSESSED with my weight, tried to force me to march around outside on concrete, refused to learn about my health conditions or knee injury, was absolutely convinced I was overweight due to my eating habits, was baffled by why my parents didn't force me to get married young like she was, tried to force button my labcoat until she realized the last two buttons would not close at the time... a male coworker brought lunch that'd make me sick (too greasy) and gave me two sandwiches, like one wouldn't be enough?! What do they think I am?!
I'd never eat two shawarma sandwiches, even those big ones they serve cut in half, I always ate only half and reheated the rest another day, and I usually wouldn't eat them for dinner when the parents bought them because they'd give me reflux. Another doctor thought I was wrong about my diagnosis when I was in horrible pain from the reflux and the cramps... it was just. A nightmare.
I actually went back through my me, dical file to find the diagnoses so he can know that no, I'm not wrong, yes, my suffering is caused by GERD and a sliding hiatal hernia...
So, naturally, I guess they got mad when I requested that no one except patients come see me in the clinic, staff members can only come in if they want to discuss work.
I came to work another day and the doctor in charge was shocked I came in place of some other doctor (who HATES clinic duty and just. Closed the door when she was there, so patients didn't even realize she was in???), so, he realized she was trying to shirk work and lied, as if our hospital and this clinic had no connection, she tried to claim the main hospital needed her for something not knowing her employer and the the head doctor in the PHC kept in contact. He sent me home, told me to ask my employer to be sure before attending in someone else's stead, said I shouldn't be working post-call (what a nostalgic word! I haven't heard it in years... I'm made to work the day after I'm on-call, in this hospital...) and told me not to come again.
I'm glad to see I'm not alone in this "oh, you're making the work environment unfriendly by not wanting to engage in chitchat with the other coworkers."
They're bullies and presumptious and rude. I don't want to talk to them! They're projecting all their stupid issues on me and nitpicking everything from the colour of my headscarf to my weight to how they imagine I eat or move. I exercise regularly, more than most of these women, I just have always had weight fluctuations and I have a hormonal issue that makes it worse because I have PCOS. I'm also mixed, I am never going to be flat all the way up and down like most Saudis!!! The North African genes gave us curves and we're naturally on the heavier side. Even my literal bone mass is greater than most women. Sorry?
#they turned me into this stereotypical fat person who eats everything and never moves that exists in their minds#I was pacing around comfortably as I normally do and people tend to assume I'm working out now#get lost.#I always do this this is just what I do when I'm thinking#I hate all of you#they were so nosy and horrible#negative *#this is old and I've lost weight since then and my lab coat is now... oversized pffft it just still angers me so it's nice to get this out#stupid jealous piece of crap it's not my fault your parents in your self-professed *village* forced you to get married#why do you want to force that on me?#and she just kept showing me all her kids' pictures and of course spoke nothing of her husband she never even picked anyway#just because you're miserable doesn't mean you gotta force it on me#ughhhhh#the worst part is it's always overweight doctors often heavier than me trying to call me obese#(I think it's the curves most people here are flat whether thin or fat so with my curves I always look heavy to these women)#PCOS#weight shaming#body shaming#medical *#food * mention
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#sigh. another vent post....#almost getting tired of making these but. I'm just.... I just don't really have much else I can do without botherin people#uh pretty big trigger warning for this one BTW#don't read on if you're low on spoons and whatnot. genuinely it's fine and I will be fine I always am#but like. yknow. when shit sucks it fucking sucks#anyway. uh. I just can't stand the idea that I might be bothering someone#so at least this way my stupid cries for help have a possibility of getting me some without making any specific#person feel obligated. yknow? maybe you see the post maybe you don't#Maybe you don't read all the way maybe you do. either way you can choose if you have the spoons to reach out#without feeling guilty either way. I hope.#.......i kind of want to fucking kill myself again#.....it used to be a much rarer thought. and I used to be much less struck by intense loneliness and longing like this#but I just feel so fucking needy. so desperate for attention and love and it hurts so much if I don't get it#and like. it's realistically nobody's fault but my own yknow... i need to ask for it more. i know that. i just suck at it#and then I can't ask. so I don't get attention. and in turn I feel neglected. secondary. like I'm not anyone's primary focus#and it just fucking hurts so much and it's just my own damn fault and I don't know how to fix it.#......i do. I need therapy I need meds or something. that's the answer here really#picked out a psychiatrist. need to call and make an appointment. but adhd and executive function and anxiety (that last one I need meds for)#mean it's very hard to both remember and then actually perform the task of calling the fucjing Dr#......believe me I'm trying.....like fuck I'm trying so hard.... and I started bawling having seen sparkles and ms robot girl reblog that#post from me about letting prev know you're proud of them. bawled when quinn called me cutie last night. bawled when#ginny said they wished they were here.... fuck me I do too I want to be the focus of someone's attention so so so so badly#fuck#...............it's redundant to say at this point a second time but. goddess above its a little scary how much I wanna kill myself#........sigh#....anyway. please do not feel obligated to respond to this in any way. do what you got the spoons for.#thank you for even reading all of this shit if you've gotten this far. i love you deeply and with all my heart. I'll be fine I promise#won't act on it no matter how strong the feeling is. just.....hurts in the meantime. but I'll be ok. I promise#................fuck. im going back to bed
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