#not me getting emotional about a murderous deer demon and the devil from the bible on a tuesday night

[demonforthesemen]

@cryptidbytes

My own aro ass fully loves this. And for Lucifer specifically, I feel the comfort would come from the certainty of making a choice. Alastor can't fall out of love because he's already not in love - but still, he's choosing to be there, trying to make this work. There's not something there that can be extinguished by time; instead, there's a mutual decision every day to be at each other's sides. And that's its own type of vested interest, isn't it? To actively choose someone, over and over again. Not to mention the fact that Lucifer fell exactly because he wanted to offer choice to humanity. For Alastor to use that gift to choose him, well it's flattering. It's a declaration.

It may not be the declaration one might expect in a relationship, but Lucifer finds himself treasuring it more than he would the expected one.

Thinking about aroace Alastor in a relationship with Lucifer and some specific hurdles they'd face.

Lucifer having to deal with the fact that Alastor is just never going to love or want him in the traditional romantic/sexual sense, never in quite the same way Lucifer loves and wants him. And it's not that he didn't know Alastor is aroace going in, nor that he thought that he could change Alastor - but it's one thing to know something in theory and another to know it in practice. He didn't realize that once he was in this that a part of him would pipe up and say, "Oh hey. It kind of feels like I'm more invested in this relationship than the other person is. Again."

Alastor having to deal with the fact that a part of Lucifer is always going to miss what he had with Lilith, because you don't just forget falling to Hell with someone and then creating a family and home - a kingdom - with them. The grief of losing them stays. For his part, Alastor would be happy forgetting Lilith ever existed, but it would be unfair to ask Lucifer to cast aside those thousands of years (thousands of years that will always belong to someone else). Worse, he knows it would be unfair, and it rankles. It feels like losing a competition he didn't realize he'd entered.

Both of them feeling inadequate, wondering what it would take for them to be enough, to feel like they're enough. Both of them wondering why they can't be satisfied with what they have; feeling petty and stupid and small for wanting more than the other can give.