#not getting over them any time soon i fear 🥴

[currymanganese]

Yet another Sydcarmy edit ft. their divorced / separated co-parents era:

[about-the-onigiri]

FINALLY FINISHED STORMBRINGER! HERE ARE SOME THOUGHTS (spoilers below obvi)

Okay, there's a lot to go over and I will probably make separate analyses, but for now I'm just going to go over any surface thoughts.

Chuuya

I will make a full separate character analysis for him, but my god did I thoroughly enjoy the theme of his questioned humanity and all the examples that proved his humanity before the end reveal (which btw I feel so stupid for not reading this novel sooner because I dead ass thought this was still an ongoing debate/question 🥴). Reassuring Albatross, mourning the detective, trying to save his clone, throwing away his memory sequence for the sake of Yokohama/the world, empathizing with Verlaine, doing the Sheep hand shake with Shirase, and making sure the Flags graves never go without flowers (kill me); all these things emphasize Chuuya's humanity. These actions answer the daunting question "is Chuuya human?", they precede the reveal. Humanity is such a huge theme in this series, along with one's reason/right for living, and it is always so well done to each individual character; but Chuuya's especially. (I must stop before this becomes a whole character analysis...but soon!)

Speaking of humanity, let's talk about Verlaine.

Now, while he was a strong contender in the beginning (I still don't, and never will, forgive him for the Flags deaths), he is no longer No. 1 on my shit list. Verlaine's existential crisis about his existence and "hate" driven plan to get Chuuya by his side is, arguably, very human! Verlaine was quite the interesting character to see unraveled, because his is one that drives home this major theme of one's reason for existence. It was so easy to sympathize with him because his angers, fears and desperate wants are applicable to not only the human characters in the story, but also any potential reader. They're the furthest thing from "non human", and in the way that Chuuya's humanity is recognized before the reveal, Verlaine's humanity must also be recognized, despite him not being human. Which is one of the things I love most that reoccurs through this novel. Despite the fact that it could all be a product of the lines of code, it begs the question: What makes someone human?

No Longer Human: Dazai

I'm kidding, we know Dazai is human (regardless of his detached sense of self). This novel actually did a fantastic job of painting Dazai as human and not an omnipotent master mind. His intellectual superiority is actually well countered in this novel. Yes, he bought time by giving Verlaine info on N and planned out the steps used in the final battle. But there were actually multiple times throughout this novel that we see Dazai caught off guard by things he couldn't predict, whether he admitted ignorance or not. His astonishment at Verlaine blasting straight through the lab after he had just mentioned he knew mostly what he was and wasn't capable of, his uncertainty for Chuuya's safety and success in the final battle as he watched everything play out. Dazai's humanity though is heavily highlighted when he gives Chuuya the choice of going into the final battle at the cost of losing his (seemingly) only way of verifying whether he's a human or not. This was actually very refreshing to see, but I'll cover this and a lot more on Dazai as I do want to make an in depth character analysis for him too. It was a nice break away and look into his character, as he could have easily withheld that choice and information from Chuuya.

Random Outlying Thoughts

A couple things that further emphasize the theme of humanity throughout this novel:

- Adam and his sacrifice for Chuuya. Especially after it was revealed that he was programmed to make his own decisions.

- Verlaine showing Chuuya the memories with Rimbaud

-Rimbaud's choice to, not only wait for, but save Verlaine, all while apologizing

I also thought it was interesting that Mori gave Chuuya his parent's location and the chance to meet them. I think it was genuinely both a gift and a test. We know Mori is cunning but not the incarnation of evil, as he's supposed to be an inspired character of Black Jack (though the translation errors ruined that). So I do think he would have genuinely given Chuuya that chance, while also using it to gauge where Chuuya stands. (Which we know is with the mafia; his family.)

Speaking of family, I cannot finish this post without mentioning the Flags again. I cried only twice while reading this novel. The first time being the Flags deaths, and the second when their resting place with an abundance of flowers was mentioned. They will forever hold a place in my heart, I'm still not over it tbh.

ALSO, I know in my last SB post I mentioned in the tags about Chuuya having nice things, but the fucking afterward in this novel from Asagiri!? Saying Chuuya's path is one that will not be easy or peaceful!! Asagiri please, I beg, let HIM HAVE NICE THINGS 🥲

Okay, that is all. Thank you for reading my rambles. I will post character analyses in the future!

[yandere-genji]

Can I have some yandere ashe and hanzo fluff headcanons? I am weak for tough hardened characters with a soft spot 🥴

I mean….give me a character that literally hates everyone else but their weakness is 1 little baby like…..amazing

Hanzo:

Blossoming flowers colored the air with rosy fragrance, children eagerly ran after brown bunnies and red squirrels, laughing as they bounced away. You couldn’t help but feel the enchantment of spring and all its new beginnings. The feeling of something new and promising was to come. Yet that feeling went away when you turned to Hanzo and his dark eyes met yours. You had never seen him smile, it seemed like he must’ve kept that same menacing glare his whole life. He didn’t say anything.

This time of year dug a dagger into Hanzo’s chest and weighed heavily in his heart. Like a widow who still slept in the bed she once shared with her husband, it reminded him of the memories he had lost, the memories that tugged on his grief. But he was stoic, though he spoke plainly of all that troubled him, his face never changed. He was hard to read because of that, no matter how honest he was. 

He noticed the way you admired the blooming blossom trees as he walked by your side. And the sweet smile that grew on your face when the ducks waddled by the pond with a row of duckings following behind them. That tender feeling in his heart tickled at his core and he almost caught himself smiling. His hand reached to hold yours, the touch startled you, but you relented and held his hand. It was an unusual display of softness from Hanzo. Though there were times he pulled you close to him, his muscles were never relaxed in fear you might struggle out of his grip. 

It felt normal. Like you were lovers strolling through the city and enjoying the spring season. And you started feeling a strange happiness that was foreign but comforting. It excited you and you leaned into him, content in enjoying this moment with someone else. That struck his heart, he hummed in satisfaction and rubbed the back of your hand with his thumb. Though he loves to see you like this, he felt a familiar desire to take you back home as soon as he could and hold you close to him, just the two of you away from the world. 

Ashe:

As the head of the Deadlock gang, Ashe has seen all kinds of injuries. Some life threatening, others simple scratches. But when you broke your wrist trying to shoot her coach gun, she couldn’t help but go into mama mode. It was cute, seeing how fragile you were, and she couldn’t help but laugh at your pathetic little cries and sobs. Still, she had a soft spot for you and she wasn’t afraid to show it. 

She will spit venom at anyone who comes near you. To be fair, she usually does this but is more protective now than ever due to your injury. And she will literally speak to you like you’re a baby, cooing and coddling you constantly. There’s no room for protest, all that gets you is a soft smack to your butt as she hushes you to be quiet. B.O.B. will constantly be hovering over you and waiting on you, maybe even carrying you to and fro (your legs are fine but Ashe won’t hear any of it.)

Every now and then she’ll examine your wrist to see how it’s healing, at least once a day. She’d carefully wash the area, being sure not to irritate the injury. Once she’s done, she’ll give a few kisses across your wrist, up your arm until she reaches your cheeks and then patches you back up. 

She wanted to teach you how to shoot in case she wasn’t there to protect you in the future. But after that incident, she just resigned herself to keeping you by her side no matter what. Even in her most dangerous missions, she would take you with her. After all, odds are that even with a gun, you couldn’t protect yourself as well as she could protect you. 

[mylevisdontfitanymore]

I saw a post on your blog about a drunk and bloated werewolf and now I just can't stop thinking about it... the concept was very good... Would you ever write an extension of that? Make it a Steve and Bucky AU?

Drunk Werewolf Post

I would love love love to write an extension of that with Steve and Bucky. But there's not a ton to say about it, I don't think-?Rambling though....

Warning for unbeta'd stucky belly kink with werewolf/puppy play, stuffing, bloating, alcohol consumption, etc.

I, personally, cannot see Steve as anything but the werewolf in this scenario since he's such a golden retriever and, frankly, I have a thing for puppy Steve. And I always imagine Steve as a werewolf that's really more puppy than wolf- eager and cute; not a predatory animal that should be feared, especially around Bucky. I mean, sure, he can be motivated to do some real damage, he's very protective of Bucky and his friends, but... most of the time no.

Going back to that post though... 🥴🥴

Yeah- Bucky, the afternoon before the night of the full moon, funnels a shit ton of beer into his puppy. (And perhaps this is werewolf-and-cap!Steve so they don't have to worry about alcohol poisoning BUT only immense amounts of alcohol make Steve feel/act drunk.) Bucky funnels it into him until here's enough beer inside Steve that he's sloshy, round as a beach ball but sloshy where he sits on the ground in their cleared out living room. His gut grows further out over his lap. His gut hangs just a little between his legs when he finally gives into the urge to spread them. His belly just gets tighter and tighter. At least he's s already naked in prep for the full moon tonight, so Bucky has a front row seat to seeing his stomach pull his abs, stretching them, making his midsection rounder and rounder, and watching his skin flush pink. His stretch marks from transforming every month become visible with the pinkness. It's cute. It's hot; especially hot the fuller Steve gets. Getting more and more sloppy as he gets more intoxicated.

And, here's the thing, Steve's human stomach capacity is much smaller than his wolf form's stomach so when Steve is full full full and cannot take one single drop more, moaning and pawing at his belly in glorious, stretched-out pain then he finally turns under the moonlight, surrounded by empty bottles and cans-? Then suddenly he's not so full anymore.

Which, of course, Bucky takes advantage of...

Bucky fills him right back up - walking away without any fear that Steve, in his wolf form, will wander off or destroy something because he's too full and drunk to do anything but roll over onto his side, belly sloshing in burp-and-hiccup inducing waves, but practically purring with a growl-like sound when his paws come to rest on it's surface - with all the meat he's stockpiled exactly for this. Bucky makes trips from their kitchen to their living room again and again with more and more meat. Each time he returns Steve has eaten all of his last portion, making hungry little growls in the back of his throat, teeth gnashing, as he tears into the meat. Stuffing himself, his wolf-brain on just one track. Eat. Eat. Eat.

Gorge.

He's gorging himself on the meat around all that beer already inside him. His belly expanding massively out from his body. It is obscene. But it was also unbearably obscene the first time Steve sat up from where he was laying on his side for a taste of the meat he suddenly could smell, ungracefully getting onto all fours with his belly bulging, rocking side to side under him as he eats messily.

He eats and eats and eats until that belly drops onto the floor, bulging out from either side of his sides. He's so huge... so full...

Bucky has never seen a werewolf (or a regular wolf for that matter) refuse food. But soon enough, Steve does.

And, poor puppy, he's so stuffed, so drunk and full of steak, that the blushing skin of his packed stomach can be seen through his fur. He's stuffed. Puppy whines. He can smell the rest of the meat but he can't make room for it inside himself. He can't swallow. He's eaten himself to immobility. He's eaten himself to the cusp of bursting.

Then, Bucky spends the rest of the night petting his puppy as Steve makes rumbly-happy sounds. Panting. Moaning. Picking Bucky's hands when they come near his muzzle.

Bucky feels proud- accomplished that he's sated a werewolf.

...

In the morning though, Steve isn't exactly,, sated.

Because Steve turns back into his human form and, oh, dear God, if his wolf stomach was packed then... it doesn't have anything on how fucking STUFFED his human stomach is. He's so engorged, so swollen, and massive that it looks fake.

Bucky wakes up first, he always does the morning after Steve transforms, but he wakes up with Steve's belly separating them. His gut is so huge that it doesn't feel like they're spooning. Steve is all belly. It doesn't seem like any of the beer has drained away into his bladder, both because he's still acting pretty loopy as if he's still drunk but also because he's so round.

Steve whines that it's Bucky's fault that he's aching, so stuffed that it hurts and he can't even move. Its all good though, because Bucky repays him by rubbing his tummy for the whole rest of the day, soothing his puppy.

They're gonna do it again, 100% though. Its too good for them not to. 😳

[ofallthingsnasty]

I'm really excited to read anything Overhaul you write! A lot of people write him as a complete germaphobe but I think he'd be totally filthy with his y/n. He's the mad scientist type; stretching you with weird medical like bdsm tools, giving you weird drugs- he'd probably even make you use a catheter to pee once a week to keep track of your """sickness."""

Oh! I think he has a latex fetish and is into making you hold your pee. Omg he's probably into fear wetting too. He'd probably fuck up your system so bad you can't control your bladder anymore. He'd totally shame you for it but secretly find it so cute.

hello hello hello omg 💞 you- you get me anon 🤭 thank you for gracing my inbox with these beautiful thoughts hehe. So. Let me ramble for a little while.

tw. piss, medical talk, bodies, tiniest mention of weight

Oh my goodness, Overhaul- I was SO obsessed with him this time last year ! He was the reason I made this blog and he got me into writing dead dove: do not eat myself - he's just that special 🥺 He's just so pretty and terrible, I want him to piss on me 💖

I have an Overhaul piss wip that just needs a proper beginning where he IS absolutely disgusting and I want to get it out so bad because it's all abuse with no love 😌

And I agree! Even though he has germo- and mysophobia, he'd be one of the filthiest. The thing is - a lot of people write him as some medical... semi-professional and I have more than two cents to say about that haha (not in a bad way, I LOVE everyone's Kai takes on here, I just have some of my own). I'm in dental- close-ish to residency, actually - and I was squeamish before starting dental school. Nothing close to a phobia, of course, but definitely shy around any type of bodily fluid. I clearly remember when we skinned our body donor and how dead her eyes were, how I scraped out three-year-old feces out of her. I fainted during my first tumor resection and then again during my first big teeth extraction (4 premolars on a 14 yo. Poor dude, I was more scared than he was omfg). I've had patients urinate in the seats. I've done fillings and root canals on very young patients with abysmal dental hygiene and absolutely rotten teeth, I've had a lot of pre- and post-radiatio patients, we've had more MRONJ patients than I'd like-- thing is, medical is absolutely disgusting.

But once I have my gloves on, it's me and that nitrile against the world. By the end of the body donor course we touched them without any protection, and now the smell of a working bone saw is at least bearable. I get blood everywhere and it is what it is. If you follow protocol, it becomes just another routine for you. And it's pretty much fanon that he's into all sorts of weird medical shit - so it'd definitely become routine for him as well. Not that he'd take the gloves off, no. But I can totally see him getting into more unsavory stuff over time - piss being one of them.

And the catheter and fear wetting is SO juicy. Up until now I pegged him as the "piss punishment" type - golden showers to humiliate you, forced urophagia while physically abusing you, stuff like that. But him fucking you up so bad that you develop some form of incontinence is so hot?? It'd make you even more dependent on him, both out of shame and necessity - because you're even more rotten now. 🥴

God, I can really see it.

Also- I hate hate hate catheters. Oh my god that'd be SO terrible. How disgraceful, oof 😳 To be 'babied' in that very special Overhaul-way, oh goodness. Like- he wouldn't even need to shame me for that one, I'd be mortified even without his snark (but of course he'd have to needle you about that constantly- all under the guise of check-ups.) So good-

I think about him a lot, but clearly not often enough about him being disgustingly dark (more soft-ish dark, but I need to change that. Definitely have to re-read the OH arc again soon, the catheter stuff is just- god-tier)

I've written dentist Overhaul (could you imagine? He'd scream at you in the chair because your dental hygiene is god awful and he'd refuse local anesthesia while doing fillings so you learn your lesson, heh. Also instead of two annual check-ups, he orders you in four times a year... Poor you. Also: Think about those nitrile gloves in your mouth. Just think about it. And then think about them fingering you (different set, of course.) He wouldn't even want to kiss you, you're just so disgusting to him 🤭), I've written dentist reader and creepy Kai as a character study (because he'd be obsessed with the cleanliness that comes with the job), medical student Overhaul who is basically a poor little thing not able to stomach the anatomy practical (you know the one where you cut up body donors) and reader as his senior basically laughing at him and I am obsessed with him as this awful yandere with a chubby darling (he's just staring all the time. ALL the time. And of course he'd be weird about it, too.) Most of these are for my vanilla blog though- and rn I don't have the muse to finish them (except for that yan OH, that NEEDS to be out some day.)

So, uh. Overhaul 😫