#not everyone even needs to do the bad thing - someone might be protecting those people or not doing enough to oust them
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treehuggeranonymous · 3 days ago
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Book recommendations for people who disagree with this post:
- Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson (there is a movie)
- The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander
- Why We’re Polarized by Ezra Klein
- Unwind series by Neal Shusterman (it’s YA fiction)
- Making Monsters by David Livingston Smith
some of yall don't understand what human rights mean and it is legitimately worrying how some of you think that if a person is 'bad' enough they should have their human rights taken away
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autisticlee · 4 months ago
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sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.
but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.
I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.
(continue in tags)
#dont know why continuing in tags but here is more#sometimes we need to ask “why” and not just get mad about how we feel personally. because other people feel differently#yes im guilty of only thinking my feelings and situation and how it relates too and forgetting other peoples. i also need to learn#and everyone's feelings should be valid. just because something might “hurt” you it might be important for someone else#everyones feelings are valid. but we cant protect everyones feeling. so idk the solution#but stopping someone from having a small positive among a sea of nevgative seems a little mean to me#youre not being empathetic to their side. and i can turn it around and be not empathetic to your side and say stop being upset#and get over it and let people have fun. but i wont. i hear you. but at the same time maybe hear us too.#not everyone wants to live only negatively. youre allowed to but dont expect others to.#and yes i GET IT these things can make the allistics and neurotypicals be even worse towards us. but what do we do?#throw out any positivity we can find and grovel in our struggles because the allistics wont take us seriously?#DO THEY TAKE US SERIOUSLY WITHOUT THOSE SILLY TRENDY THINGS? NO! THEY NEVER HAVE#like i said i dont know the solution and everything still be used against us by those people anyway so might as well have fun?#if we focus on struggles they baby us and dont let us do things and block us from living life#if we focus on positive they dismiss our struggles and try to make us do what we cant and dont help us#we cant win! so its not “the 'tism” or whatever other things people made up that cause them to act this way#they already act that way and wont stop unless we figure out how to teach them! but i dont know how! im just a useless little creature#this is probably controversial and someone will get because i dont agree with their perspective despite respecting it#someome will comment to lecture me even though i get it. i do. but two things can exist at the same time!! idk what to tell you!#autistic#autism#actually autistic#lee rambles#words are hard so dont know if i worded it well or not. probably not#also why take away fun things because another group used it for bad? make them stop the bad not stop the good!#i also might be missing more context. i think is about tiktok using these for bad. tiktok is just bad in general and i refuse to use it#why tiktok dictate and ruin our lives now in general? tiktok is really bad 😂 but that another conversation#no one yell at me and say i dismiss struggles of struggling autistics. maybe you dismiss me needing negative thing to have positive?#not in mood for negative response. will probably cry fhhddhsjdjdjkd#today is real struggle day but if i be little creature i feel better
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imaginaryf1shots · 1 month ago
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Soulmate | Carlos Sainz Ver.
WC: 4.8K
Csrlos x Soulmate!reader
Summery: Everyone can feel their soulmate's injuries and pain since the age of 15
Warning: None??
AN: Thank you for all the ideas. I just changed jobs, and it's a full time office job, so it's very demanding 🙄🙃
Max Ver. , Oscar Ver. , Charles Ver., Lewis Ver.
Masterlist
Carlos Masterlist
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The world is built on the idea that soulmates are connected through their physical pain. Everyone knows that if you're injured or in pain, your soulmates feel the exact same pain. This can be seen as a blessing or as a curse. In one way, you know when your other half is injured, but it also brings shared vulnerability. Some believed it was a form of protection, a way for soulmates to be in tune with one another, even if they'd never met. 
Now, did you know about this from a young age? Yes, you did. Did that stop you from doing all those crazy things that caused you multiple injuries? No. You felt sorry every time, but you're just clumsy by nature. It was from the moment you could walk that you've been a klutz. Bumping into walls, tripping over your own feet, and misjudging the occasional stair, it was part of your life. Growing up, you've gotten used to the bumps and bruises that came with her natural clumsiness, but what took longer to adjust to was the knowledge that someone else felt them, too.
Your soulmate must be a saint because you've rarely felt any pain. Yes, through the years, there have been times when you felt real and strong pain, but it was few and far between.
In a world of soulmates that felt their soulmates through visceral pain, your soulmate did everything he could to never cause you pain.
And for as long as you could remember, you’d imagined what he might be like. Patient for sure, after all, he had to endure your countless scrapes and missteps. You wondered if he was the type to sigh and shake his head when he felt you stub your toe or if he was used to your clumsiness, so much so that it barely bothered him anymore. Whoever he was, you were grateful got him.
Your friends often teased you about it, especially when you had a particularly bad fall or ended up with an impressive bruise. “You really owe your soulmate an apology.” They would always joke. “He must be so fed up by now.”
You’d always laugh it off, but late at night you’d overthink. Did he really mind? Or was he out there somewhere laughing about it, too? What was his life like? Was he clumsy, too? You doubt it. He must be the complete opposite, composed and careful, someone who rarely felt pain unless it was coming from you. Maybe he was a doctor or an athlete, someone who needed precision and strength in his day-to-day life. Your imagination would always run wild, paining pictures of him in your mind. But no matter how many times you tried to envision his face, it remained just out of reach, like the hazy details of a dream.
The older you got the more curious you got, and it started eating at you. Who was he? Where was he? Some people met their soulmate early on, like your childhood friend who had found hers at eighteen. Others never found theirs at all, even though they shared the pain for their entire lives. You tried not to let it bother you too much, after all what could you do? If you’re meant to meet it’ll happen on it’s own time.
But still there was that nagging feeling every time you bumped your knee or accidently burned your hand cooking. You would wince and imagine him somewhere far away, gritting his teeth as he felt the same.
“Another one for you soulmate.” You muttered as you stumbled over a crack in the pavement.
For as long as you lived with the bond you’ve been the one giving the worst of pains, sending your soulmate injuries, most harmless, but you’ve also broken enough bones over the years.
It started as a dull ache, just beneath your ribs on the right side. At first, you didn’t think much of it, assuming it’s a muscle strain or maybe it’s something you’ve eaten. You shifted in your seat, pressing your hand against the spot as if to massage the discomfort away, but the ache lingered, stubborn and unrelenting.
Throughout the day the pain grew worse. What started as mild throb quickly became sharp, stabbing sensation, taking your breath away every time you moved, and you started to feel a fever coming. This wasn’t like the occasional bump or fall you’re used to, this is far worse than anything you’ve felt before. This is different, deeper, persistent and alarming.
By late afternoon, you couldn’t take it anymore, every breath felt like a knife twisting in your side, and no matter how you positioned yourself, it wouldn’t go away. Sweat was forming on your forehead as you tried to power through the pain, but something wasn’t right.
Could this be coming from him?
You never felt pain like this before, certainly not from your own body. Your chest tightened, if this pain wasn’t yours, then something is very wrong. The idea that your soulmate could be hurt, really hirt, it made your stomach churn. You could handle minor injuries, but this? This was different.
You rushed to the hospital, the ride to the hospital felt like an eternity. By the time you arrived, you were sweating and clutching your side, each movement like a dagger. You explained your symptoms to the nurse at the reception, your voice wavering with pain and fear,
They rushed you into an examination room.
“We’ll run some tests.” The doctor said after you told him your symptoms, his brows furrowed with concern. “It sounds like it could be appendicitis, but we’ll know more once we do an ultrasound.”
As the minutes dragged on, the pain sharpened, radiating into your chest. You clutched the hospital bed’s metal rails, your knuckles turned white as you waited. Nurses and doctors came and went performing the tests as quickly as they could. After what felt like hours the doctor came back.
“The tests came back normal.” He began, flipping through the papers in his hands. “There’s no sign of appendicitis, in fact, you don’t have an appendix.” That was news to you.
“What? I don’t have it? Is that normal?” You asked confused.
“It’s rare but it happens some people are born without an appendix.” The doctor confirmed, he didn’t seem too worried.
“But the pain, it’s unbearable, what’s causing it?” You asked and dreaded the answer you know the doctor is about to give you.
“The only answer we have is, the pain isn’t yours to begin with.” The doctor smiled sympathetically. His words hung in the air heavy. Your soulmate. He’s the one in agony, and you were feeling every excruciating second of it.
Carlos hasn’t been feeling the best the last couple of days, he thought he was tired from all the traveling and racing and training. It happens. But the moment he woke up he knew something was wrong, he had Free Practice today, so he just pushed through it. However throughout the day, he’s just been getting worse and worse. By the end of FP2 he knew he couldn’t just push it off, it wasn’t food poisoning, he was starting to burn up.
Carlos with his team went to the hospital so he’d get checked out. He sat hunched over in the waiting room, gripping his side as the pain flared up again, sharper this time. The medics had said it was appendicitis and a routine surgery, nothing major. But that didn’t ease the fear eating at the back of his mind. He’s used to pushing his body through physical discomfort, but never to the point of pain. But this wasn’t the type of pain you ignore.
He could feel the ache spreading and tightening like a vice around his abdomen. His hands were clammy, sweat was gathered on his forehead, and his breath came in shallow, uneven bursts. He’s been through a lot through his life, the crash here and there, the pain of his soulmate breaking a bone, and stubbing her toes and all the random bruises she seems to get randomly.  This felt like his body was on fire from the inside out, and it wasn’t just the physical pain that made his chest tighten.
It was her, his soulmate.
As long as he could remember, he had shared pain with you. The worst when you had broken your leg. And he’s grown accustomed to the random flicker of discomfort over the years, wondering what kind of person you are. He imagined you being clumsy, maybe even a bit absent-minded, but he never minded. In fact, it had always made him smile, knowing that somewhere out there, you were living your life and through those little jolts of pain you felt close to him.
But today, he was the one that was causing you pain, pain like you both have never experienced before. That realisation made him nauseous. How much of this were you feeling right now? Were you suffering as much as he was, lying somewhere clutching your side in agony?
Carlos wiped the sweat from his brow and closed his eyes, trying to focus on anything but the pain. He thought of you, his soulmate.
You walked out of the hospital room, walking slowly. Since the pain you were experiencing isn’t yours, pain meds will do nothing unless your soulmate takes some. You were clutching your side as you walked, not really paying attention, that and being the clumsy person that you are you bumped into someone while you were passing one of the waiting rooms. You stumbled before your knees hit the floor, hard. You winced, the same time someone else did.
“I’m so sorry are you alright?” An accented voice asked, you looked up to see a man with a moustache, he was dressed in red.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” You replied instantly and took the man’s hand to stand up. You were unaware of the other Spanish eyes on you.
Carlos shared a look with his dad beside him, Carlos Sr. saw everything happen. He saw you fall and he saw his son wince when you did.
“Pinch yourself.” He muttered to his son, not taking his eyes off you.
“W-what?” Carlos frowned at his father’s words, but he didn’t wait Carlos Sr. pinched his son’s arm and you let out an ‘aw’ and held your arm where he pinched his son.
You frowned, not understanding what was going on with your soulmate.
“Are you hurt?” The man in front of you asked seeing how you held your arm.
“Yeah, soulmate.” He lets out an ‘ah’ in understanding.
Carlos’s eyes went wide when he saw you feel his pain, your hand went back to your side, the same he was holding, and even though he was still in pain he felt relieved, his heart much lighter and he couldn’t help but smile. His dad nudged him with a smile of his own. And Carlos stood up and went to his friend’s side. Gigi was confused why Carlos was coming his way, and why he was smiling when he had to go in for surgery in less than two hours. But he wasn’t looking at him, he was looking at you.
You only noticed him when he came to stand beside the man you bumped into.
“Hi.” Carlos said simply and you frowned confused.
“Hi?” It came out as a question, you looked between the two men in confusion. “I’m sorry but i-“
You were cut off when you groaned as a wave of pain hit you, the same time as the stranger in front of you winced and held his side, the same side you’ve felt the pain. Gigi then knew what happened, and he too couldn’t help but smile, he looked at Carlos Sr. for confirmation and he just gave him a proud nod.
You looked at the new man who was holding his side, your heart skipped a beat. Is he? Could he? This is almost too good to be true. You bit your tongue slightly.
“Why are you biting your tongue?” The smooth voice of your soulmate asked, your eyes went wide, Carlos chuckled at the expression on your face. “Hi.”
“Hi.” This time it was breathless; your eyes didn’t move from his face as you took him in. He also was waring a red shirt, but he also had a hat on top of his head, covering parts of his face but your eyes met his, nonetheless.
“I’m Carlos.” Carlos said and put his hand out for you to shake.
“Y/n.” You said taking his hand, the rush you both felt is unexplainable. You felt warm, your heart was beating faster and you were tingling all over. “It’s really you.”
“It’s me.” Carlos said and you both didn’t let go of each other’s hand.
“Carlos, it’s better you go to your room.” Gigi said, once the nurse told them his room was ready. Carlos nods, but it takes him a few moments to let go of your hand and look away.
“Come on.” Carlos said and he leads you to his room following the nurse. Once the door is closed leaving the both of you alone, you turned to face him once more.
“I never thought I’d meet my soulmate in a hospital of all places.” You said and smiled.
“Really? With how much you like to hit the floor, it was more than likely.” Carlos teased, he took off his hat and ran a hand though his hair, it was so fluffy you wanted to run your hands through it.
“Yeah, sorry about that.” You mutter suddenly not meeting his eyes, feeling guilty for all the pain you caused him.
“Hey, I didn’t say I minded.” He said but you still refused to meet his eyes, so he went on. “Every time I felt your pain, I knew you were out there somewhere, living your life and that I wasn’t alone, even if once or twice the timing wasn’t the best, is till cherished it.”
“Really?” You asked meeting his hypnotizing brown eyes.
“Really.” Carlos confirms, his smile is sweet and kind and warm.
“What’s wrong with your appendix?” You ask your hand itching to touch where you know he feels the pain most.
“I have appendicitis, will go into surgery in an hour or so.” Carlos tells you and feels himself riddled with guilt, knowing you felt the pain of his illness. “Why are you here?”
“Came to check if it’s my pain or yours I was feeling.” You could see the guilt eating at him. “I rarely felt pain coming from you, you’ve always been so careful, and here I am falling every day.”
“Guess we balance each other out.” Carlos said and you smiled.
“Guess so… also I discovered I’m born without an appendix.” You suddenly tell him and smile up at him.
“So we’ll match then.” Carlos laughed at the coincidence. You both stayed silent for a long moment, just basking in each other’s presence. “There’s so much I want to ask you.”
“Me too.” You tell him honestly. “Like why are you wearing red? It looks like a uniform, same with the guy I walked into.”
“It kind of is a uniform, it’s team kit, we’re required to wear it.” Carlos says and runs a hand over the back of his neck, he’ll have to explain what he does to you.
“Like a sports thing?” You asked raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah, exactly that.” You mouth forms an ‘o’ shape, and you nod to yourself.
“What sport?”
“Formula 1.” You rack your brain over if you’ve heard of it before, Carlos saw the confused look on your face, he was about to answer your un asked question when someone knocked on the door. He called out for them to enter and in walked his dad and Gigi.
“You have to get ready.” Gigi said and Carlos sighed he was just starting to talk to you, you smiled at him.
“I’ll be here.” You promised and he nods.
“I’ll introduce you then. This is y/n, my soulmate.” He said is so proudly, smiling at you, a smile that you shared. “That’s Poerluigi, known as Gigi and this is my dad Carlos Sr.”
“Oh, I didn’t know you dad was here as well, it’s nice to meet you sir.” You say and go to shake his hand, Sr. smiles and shakes your hand.
“Nice to finally meet you.” Carlos Sr. said with a smile he gave you a quick one-armed hug while your hands were still clasped together. “Carlos has been anxious to meet you lately.”
“Papa.” Carlos Jr. warned his dad, he didn’t want any embarrassing stories to reach you before he even gotten the chance to officially sit and talk to you. Sr. winked at you and you giggled, Carlos gives you both a warning look, before you leave the room so they can prep him for surgery. Meeting your soulmate right before he has to go into surgery isn’t really ideal. The three of you were allowed to wait in his room once Carlos was wheeled out.
“So what exactly does Carlos do?” You asked, and that opened the flood gates. They told you about how Carlos Sr. is a rally driver, all his achievements and how Carlos decided to get into Formula 1, that he’s a driver for Ferrari. They showed you some videos of him on track, deciding not to share anything personal and leave it to Carlos to share and say what he wants to.
You in turn were asked about what you do, your hobbies, why you’re always getting bruised and just random talk. When Carlos is brought back in the room, he’s still unconscious, the doctor informed you that it went well and that he’ll recover in no time. Carlos Sr. went out the room to call his wife and inform her of Carlos’ well-being.
when Carlos wakes up, you’re all kicked out of the room for the doctor to check on him, before you’re allowed back inside. The doctor reconfirms that Carlos is okay and well and that he’ll be able to recover fast. Something he was happy to hear about.
“How are you feeling?” Carlos Sr. asked his son.
“Good.”
“I think the pain meds haven’t worn off yet.” You say, feeling not an ounce of pain through your connection. Carlos smiles at you and you smile back.
“You stayed.”
“Of course, I did.” You say with a pointed look, he’d be stupid if he thought you’re about to leave him when he’s going into surgery, no matter how easy it is.
Gigi takes a picture of both Carlos’s for Instagram, for the fans. He did manage to snap a few of you both, but those were private, for now at least.
“Where are you staying?” Carlos asked and when you gave him your hotel room, he laughed.
“What?”
“You were so close all along.” Carlos says and he smiles thinking about how even if he was okay, you properly would’ve met. “I’m staying there too.”
“Guess fate intended for us to meet one way or the other.” You smile at the thought, you’re mean to be, and you were bound to meet.
Carlos is required to spend the night, and his dad decided to stay with him. Meaning you and Gigi went back to the hotel, and agreed to meet in the morning so you could head back to the hotel together. In all of the rush of things, you forgot to ask Carlos for his number, but Gigi gave you his number for the meet up in the morning.
can you send me Carlos’ number? 😊
Gigi
Sure 😉
You ignore the winky face and save Carlos’ number once you received it.
Stop moving around so much 🤨
Soulmate ❤️
sorry, I can’t find a comfortable spot to sleep
ask the nurses for painkillers if you’re in pain
Soulmate ❤️
I’m alright, it’s not too bad
Do you feel pain? If you want I can take pain killers for you.
no I’m good, it’s alright
I can feel you
Soulmate ❤️
I can’t feel you
do you want me to pinch myself or something?
Soulmate ❤️
No, now the tables are turned.
I guess so
Soulmate ❤️
what?
im sad that you’re the one in pain
That’s my job in the relationship!
Soulmate ❤️
Relationship? 😏
You felt a blush cover your face; you want to cover your cheeks even though he can’t even see you.
I think that’s enough for today
you should go to sleep.
Soulmate ❤️
fine, I’ll let it slide
this time
see you tomorrow, hermosa’
see you tomorrow.
The next morning you meet up with Gigi, who had a bag of clothes for both Carlos’s. the drive to the hospital you spent talking about unimportant things. When you got to the hospital, Carlos Sr. took the bag and went to change, and Gigi excused himself to go get coffee.
“How did you sleep?” Carlos asked you.
“I slept alright, how about you?” You asked glancing to where they did the surgery.
“I slept better than ever, dreaming about you.” You couldn’t fight the blush and turned your head to the side, biting your bottom lip to stop yourself from smiling. “Don’t hide your face from me.”
Carlos moved so his feet were dangling off the bed, he wanted to walk up to you and pull you in close. He hasn’t been able to hug you yet, and he wants to desperately. Carlos puts his hand out and you walk closer to him, you put your hand in his and he pulls you closer. You’re standing between his legs; Carlos doesn’t wait and wraps his arms around you in a hug. You stand frozen for a moment before you lean into him, your arms much closer around him than his around you. But you lean your head onto on his shoulder.
“I wanted to do that since I saw you.” Carlos mumbles, his voice coming out right next to your ear, making you shiver.
“Only this?” You ask, now that you’re face is hidden, you found the confidence to say that to him.
“If we weren’t here, I’d show you all the things I want to do to you.” Carlos whispers and kisses right under your ear, you close your eyes basking in the feeling of him around you.
“Could have waited until I wasn’t here.” Carlos Sr. says coming out of the attached bathroom. You pull away from Carlos and your blush is back. Carlos only chuckles and rolls his eyes at his father.
Carlos changes and comes out, him and his dad start talking in Spanish, you sip on the coffee Gigi has gotten you checking your notifications on your phone. You look up when you feel the conversation getting a tad bit heated, Carlos is standing in a pair of jeans and his team kit his hat is on the bed.
“Why are you in your team kit?” You ask confused, Carlos Sr. moved his hand in your direction, indicating to his son to tell you what’s going on.
“I’m going to the race today.” Carlos said and you frowned.
“Why? Are they making you go?” You asked seeing no reason for him to be anywhere, but back in the hotel and resting until his flight.
“No, but I want to be there.” Carlos said simply and his dad muttered something under his breath.
“You just got a surgery not even 24 hours ago.” You say standing up.
“I know, but like I told papa, I want to go be there for the team, and I won’t be doing an media or anything, it wouldn’t be different than me staying in the hotel.”
“Doubt it.” Sr. mutters. You think for a moment, not liking this at all.
“Okay, but remember I feel your pain, at the first sign of it we’ll be out of there.” You tell him with a pointed look, daring him to disagree.
“Okay, fine.” Carlos says and Gigi smirks.
“I like this one.”
Both Carlos Sr. and Jr. walked to the motorhome first, and you and Gigi followed after, you had a Ferrari with 55 hat on, your head was done as instructed as you followed the man in front of you. There has been a dull pain in your side as the pain killers wore off, but it wasn’t too bad so you said nothing. Getting to the garage, Gigi sticks to your side and shows you around, Carlos is busy, which isn’t the resting he said he’d do.
Gigi soon introduces you to Alex, Charle’s soulmate, you both talk about your soulmates. Unlike you she knew about Formula 1 before she dated Charles, but her knowledge was limited before that. She was super nice to you, as she explained a few things about the race, she also pointed out where Carlos is in the garage. You may have known him for so little time, but seeing him work, showed you a different side to him. He’s very dedicated and clearly loves what he does.
You find yourself in the back of the garage in a staff only area, it’s like a cafeteria. Carlos was standing to the side eating from a plat in his hand while you talked with Charles and Alex.
Carlos drops his fork on the floor and in a reflex move he bends to pick the fork up. Your side suddenly flares up and you gasp clutching your side. Both Charles and Alex look at you in concern.
“It’s Carlos.” You tell them and move to get to your soulmate, when your clumsy self decides to hit the side of a table with your hip making you stumble and now hold your hip. Carlos curses and he moves to get to you only ending up hunched over from the strain he puts to his side.
“You both, need to stop moving!” Carlos Sr. says and goes to see Carlos and make sure he hasn’t popped a stitch or something. Charles and Alex were at your side pulling you up.
“You are clumsy.” Charles says with a teasing smile, and Alex hits his shoulder, giving herself the same pain, but it makes him stop.
“Made for each other you two.” Carlos Sr. says and you and Carlos meet eyes, you both smile and chuckle, this recovery is going to be harder than you both expected.
It took you two weeks to allow Carlos to do any kind of kissing, and still, you stayed away from his side when you did. Carlos had you in his home to get to know you while he was in between races. He just came back from a race that he won, first winner of the season, that isn’t Max. it took more than usual out of him, which was understandable. But now that he was cleared to race, here you were on his bed, him leaning on the headboard and you in his lap, kissing. I never felt this good. Every bite ever suck was felt by the two of you. It left you gasping and moaning for more. Both your lips are puffy and bruised, Carlos moves his lips to your neck in wet kisses before he finds your sweet spot that had you moving over him. He groans and starts sucking, so lost in the moment.
The next day you wake up first and head to the bathroom for a quick shower, Carlos hears the water and wakes up. He walks in the bathroom and stops when he sees himself in the mirror, he lets out a curse. You poke your head out hearing him curse.
“What’s wrong?” You ask and he turns to show you his neck, you burst out laughing. “
“But it looks good on you.” Carlos almost whined and you couldn’t help but continue laughing.
“Well did you come into here to stare at yourself in the mirror, or?” You asked raising an eyebrow before turning and getting back under the shower head. Carlos forgets all about the hickeys covering his neck, collarbones and chest. He did a number on you last night.
 
Let’s just say it was easier for you to cover them than Carlos. The next race, the fans spotted them fast.
“Looks like you had a fun night.” Jensen commented while interviewing Carlos with a knowing smirks on his face. “Wild girl?”
“Uh no, I wouldn’t sag that. I did them myself.” Carlos admitted his face warming up a bit. You watched the interview from the sides, your neckline and hair covering up all the bruises he left on you.
“Did them yours- oh, oh, congratulations, mate.” Jensen bro hugged Carlos, realising what he meant. “We all had to learn where to stop.”
You rolled your eyes bit still smiled, Carlos already knew where to stop, evident by the fact that more bruises ended right under his neckline.
 
It was all just a time thing, with your clumsiness and Carlos’s love of kissing. But your identical bruises caught on cameras, as well as you hitting something and Carlos reacting was a sign enough for everyone that you’re his soulmate.
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@gnatthefly . @mochimommy2002 . @llando4norris . @mrswolffs-blog . @barcelonaloverf1life . @c-losur3 . @xoscar03 . @schniti-is-in-the-house . @lottalove4evelyn . @eywas-heir . @glow-ish . @lilypat . @directioner5life .
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perpetuallyfive · 6 days ago
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God, I'm so happy with what they did with Maddie Nolen.
I'm sure there will be plenty of people mad because obviously there was a weird backlash over a character who has sex with one half a ship, so I'm sure some people worry this will lead those people to feel justified in their initial response.
But ignoring people who can't emotionally regulate for a second, because those childish impulses aren't worth dictating the fun things a narrative can do: Maddie is SO INTERESTING as a character and she fills in a lot of the questions people seemed to have about the rest of the season.
Consider for a moment that it wasn't Caitlyn who convinced Vi to be an Enforcer. It was Maddie.
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I know that some people took this line to be about Zaunites, a sort of obvious connection to the very racist idea of "one of the good ones," but since Maddie is talking about Marcus and his betrayal of the Enforcers just before this, I'm pretty sure her framing here is something else. The point she's making is specifically targeted at Vi's own beliefs and weaknesses, her desire to protect. That seems clear to me now with all we know about Maddie's capacity for manipulation.
She's not saying, "You're good, for a poor."
She's saying, "Wow, I agree with you, the Enforcers are really bad; it's so upsetting. I think you might be the only one who can change it, but only if you join us." This is what convinces Vi to do something she never thought she would.
Well, this and the fact that Caitlyn believes in her so much which, again, is information she gets fed to her directly from Maddie. It even seems like Maddie seeks her out just to say this, which on first viewing felt oddly convenient. Wow, Vi just happens to meet this naive girl who just happens to say exactly what she needs to hear to do something so out of character.
Except obviously none of it was coincidence. Everyone already knew how much Vi meant to Caitlyn and getting Caitlyn under control would require either controlling Vi or removing her from the equation. This was a push in that direction.
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Then there's her more obvious role as the spy in Caitlyn's bed, there to reassure her that the Noxians are only trying to keep all of them safe. Then when Caitlyn expresses larger doubts, she's immediately ready to lay out an alternative. You could just give up, Maddie seems to whisper gently in her ear. Just reestablish things as they were before.
But she knows Caitlyn isn't going to go for that. She's not going to go back to the council as it was, because it's only going to remind her of the empty place her mother left behind. Maddie knows that Caitlyn isn't going to take this offer, which is precisely why she suggests it. She frames quitting as the only clear alternative to going along with everything Ambessa wants because she knows that Caitlyn will refuse, which leads her right back into alignment with Ambessa. She makes continued obedience into an active choice that Caitlyn affirms she's making.
Even Maddie's comments that suggest direct opposition to Ambessa — "you're our leader... I follow you" — are designed to frame herself and her true leader in direct opposition, just as Ambessa's own warning about entanglements is there to further that point. They both make a point of reminding Caitlyn that they are her true ally, isolating her further from anyone who isn't the devil and (other) devil on her shoulders.
This way Maddie and Ambessa can both tug at Caitlyn, pulling in what feels to her like opposite directions, all so that she lands precisely where they wanted her all along but with the illusion of active agency.
And look, I'm not saying my read on her is gospel, because I think they intentionally gave us enough room to really speculate and wonder about her, someone who could have been just a background nothing character but ends up being such a huge part of the second season. That's so interesting!
I especially love that she comes across as really naive and innocent, just some poor little thing swept up in the fervor, when in reality she's a true believer who has been manipulating things to go her way from the start.
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gay-dorito-dust · 1 year ago
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possessive miguel o’hara has me in a chokehold
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Possessive!Miguel trusts you but not those you interact with because he knew what every one of them were thinking upon looking at you because he thought the exact same thing.
Possessive!Miguel who’d watch from his hubbub as you interact with the others in the spider society under the guise of doing something else. It completely fools everyone but not Lyla, who would often catching him stealing glances and noting how his jaw clenched when the person you were talking to decided to get a little too comfortable.
Possessive!Miguel who’d definitely leaves bite marks scattered about your body when he’s feeling particularly possessive and would hide away any article of clothing that would allow you to cover them up so that people would get the message that you were taken. But when he noticed that some had healed, he takes up the task of replacing them with more marks.
Possessive!Miguel who is your shadow, following you whilst keeping a distance, thinking he was merely watching over you, which he was but one too many times had he followed you on the pretences of looking out for your well-being, when it was just him making sure to keep you within his line of sight, sending him into an almost feral state when you seemingly disappeared before his eyes.
Possessive!Miguel who only got possessive when he’s faced with the possibility of eventually loosing you one day to someone who truly deserved your love. It’s fascinating for Miguel when he’s aware of the moment his protectiveness became possessiveness towards you; Yet despite how possessive he may get, Miguel never lets it go to darker places where he would be pushing and pushing you away into the arms of someone else.
Possessive!Miguel who’d holds onto you really tight, face pressed into your neck, whispering ‘you’re mine,’ ‘there’s nobody that you’d rather be with then me,’ ‘I need you,’ ‘you belong to me,’ ‘don’t leave me when I still need you in my life,’ ‘see the way you fit within my arms? It means that we were meant to be.’ And so on like a mantra that you didn’t know who it was made for, you or himself for reassurance.
Possessive!Miguel who’d may or may not keep you inside the house when he feels as though something bad was encroaching and his first instinct was to assure that you were safe, even if it meant keeping you locked inside until further notice but he makes sure you have everything that you require until the danger passes over.
A/n: I kinda ran out of stuff to put here and this might seem a little lacklustre but at least I tried and gave it an attempt. Plus half of this probs ain’t within the realm of possessiveness but eh.
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bethanysnow · 8 months ago
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How I think Stray Kids Members would date a Plus Size girlfriend ~ Hyungline
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Maknae line
-Bang Chan
This man deadlifts 350lb....do you think it's only for our benefit????? NAH this boy got an actually plus size gal in his minds eye. Large arms, soft shoulders, STOMACH, back???, calves???!?!?!?! Why does no one talk about calves!?! Where this man can man handle and grab and pull to his hearts delight and not break her. Lord knows one spank from him would probably break someone's pelvis if it didn't have padding.... Now I do think he would need to work on himself internally on some of his "complexes" and self image and self confidence?? I love this man to death, but you'd be reassuring him just as much as he is you. He went from the body checking capital of the world to the plastic surgery capital of the world at a formative age; it fucks with your head.
But he would love you, becoming friends would be faster than blinking, but I get the vibe it takes a while to fully trust? He trusts too easily and has been hurt by it in the past so he needs to know that you're gonna he there for him as he is you. He would 100% be the bf to make sure that there are clothes you can wear in his closet but not say anything. He's conscious of how he has insecurities and understands that it takes more than kissing it better and a love making session. It takes work. And he'd be there to remind you every step of the way how much he loves you.
-Minho
This quiet man might surprise you. Now I don't think he'd be the first to come to mind when possibility dating a plus size gf, but this man is a intelligent one. He is introspective, quiet, understanding. He is one of those people in life that either body size wouldn't even cross his mind when dating you, or he would be very conscious of it. Not in a bad way of course.
He is just very concerned about you in how people treat you because of your size, not liking that he gets treated so special cuz he happened to end up being traditionally handsome. Where he sees the mistreatment you deal with and feels protective over you. So he plans ahead, makes sure the restaurant has chairs without arms, would rather people look at him and how OH LOOK ITS LEEKNOW than make you uncomfortable that you think people are staring.
If diets and conversation around diets make you uncomfortable I can see him changing the topic even around the members if you're there. He wants you to be happy and comfortable around him. While he isn't very affectionate or loud about his love its just as deep.
Also.....you got the best ass even if its flat
-Changbin
I think for someone who goes to the gym as much as he does he would understand if someone was having bad experiences tied to it? Like he is paid to work out and have a nutritionist and a stylist and all these team members. Not everyone has that. So he wouldn't pressure you into going with him unless you wanted to go. If you did though he'd be the first one to brag to everyone that you can out-leg press him. It would be the first thing in the group chat in all caps.
Dating Changbin, it is so domestic? I imagine? Like you start dating and he is just this big ol' teddy bear and he would feel so honored if you let yourself be timid around him. Being plus size (insecure or not) you have to have a thick skin, you grow to defend yourself, you protect your heart because people have been cruel and society is a bitch. In doing so the walls are a bit higher, and the fortress is a bit more imposing. But with Binnie, he is a hug that is open anytime anywhere. The absolute pride in his man once you allow yourself to lean on him, or dare to lay on his chest while cuddling? ahhh thats the good stuff
I also think he would be the first one to defend you, knowing the boys love language is poking fun he wouldn't have it if it was you. Be prepared to be presented with one of the boys' heads in a headlock by Binnie if they say anything. He is your knight in shinning armor and will make sure you are laughing and smiling and having a good time. Also he like chan feels more at ease knowing you aren't gonna break if you two get up to something more rough or naughty in the bedroom. Even on a more innocent path just knowing you aren't gonna judge him for how he looks like he doesn't judge yours makes his heart soar.
-Hyunjin
Hyunjin I think would have the most obstacles in regard to dating someone of size. Not that I don't think he wouldn't, but I think with the Korean beauty standard he has a lot of internal stuff he needs to work out before he could be in a healthy relationship. He knows what its like to be judged on only by how you look. He wouldn't want that for you or any of his friends, so I think he would be friends to lovers? You are a great deal of a reality check for him, when he gets very internal and in his head about stuff he goes to you.
So by the time he figures out he has a crush on you his entire art book has already started to look like Renaissance drafts of plus-size women. Starts seeking out media and art that reminds him of you. I don't even think hes conscious that he's doing it? I think it feels like an itch he can't scratch just right and its driving him insane because he doesn't know how to pin down this feeling. Not in art, not in lyrics, it evades him. Till he is standing in front of you, at your apartment, with an Idol worthy bouquet of flowers. Opening his heart and hoping you don't reject him.
Which....would never happen? Your relationship is one of the ages, he writes songs about you, and draws you constantly. In-person he has to be near you, even as simple as playing with your jewelry or showing you memes on his phone while you eat silently side by side. It is a love that is comfort, its like warm clothes out of the dryer for hyunjin.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
@7ndipity @kaciidubs @itshannjisung @dreamescapeswriting @moonlightndaydreams @ldysmfrst
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llamagoddessofficial · 8 months ago
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who's the most possessive out of the bad guys?
It's a bit complicated. They're all possessive, in their own ✨special✨ ways. Because they're special boys.
Horror is possessive like a wild animal. He hates anything that looks like it could hurt you, that makes you nervous, that approaches too fast. It's all or nothing with him; he can be the most ferociously violent and unpredictable of the four, especially considering he has a penchant for decapitation. But he can equally be the most easygoing when he's decided something isn't a threat. He's possessive with his claws and teeth, possessive over your scent and softest parts... though he likes that his hands can encircle your waist entirely, it also makes him scared to let go. He's the bigger and stronger mate, he needs to protect you from the rest of the world. He needs to keep you safe from the things that could kill you quickly. Like him.
Dust is possessive like someone who has lost everything. He found something good after what he did, despite all odds, and he will not lose you. You're so wonderful - he doesn't say it aloud but he truly believes that once you wake up and realise your boyfriend is just a pathetic mass murderer who can't emote, you'll leave. So he's always possessive, under the surface, always jealous and murderous, especially toward anyone he thinks you're starting to get 'too' close with. It's a fire that never goes out. If you're not in his arms, he's watching, quietly burning.
He hides it extremely well. Just like his other emotions. But it's always there - waiting for him to snap, and use it.
Killer is possessive like a child. A child who can (and will) stab people to death. So long as he believes he's your favourite, things will be fine, but he cannot stand someone taking up your attention for too long. Look at him, look at him, look at him - if he can draw your eyes back to him he'll quickly relax, the fastest way to keep him from hurting anyone is by laughing at something he's said. But if someone keeps insisting on getting in the way and monopolising you, he lashes out wildly. Killer's sense of right and wrong is massively fucked up... it's easy to see how little empathy he has for those he doesn't care about when he puts a knife in someone's gut for snapping their fingers at you while he's talking to you.
Nightmare is possessive like a lover. He's pretty tolerant of most things; very close friends are fine, time apart is fine, he doesn't mind. You can do pretty much as you please, so long as you return to his bed at the end of the night. The one thing he absolutely will not tolerate? Romantic rivals. Contenders for your love will die. If someone likes you, and tries to pursue you even slightly, they meet a gruesome end. If you beg on their behalf he might settle on just banishing them to a distant universe... but you probably won't get to them in time. Nightmare, if it wasn't obvious, has a big problem with being "number 2" in anything. And when it comes to your heart, he won't give up a single inch.
Deep down, he just wants you to hold him close and reassure him that you won't leave like everyone else in his life has. But he's much too proud to admit that. So he settles on murdering anyone who could somehow, someday, get in the way.
Prune the tree when it's a sprout and you'll never have to deal with the roots.
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dreamwritesimagines · 2 months ago
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The Eye of the Hurricane [38] - The End
A.N: The last chapter! ❤️ Thank you so much for your wonderful support throughout the story my loves, you're amazing! ❤️
Summary: The heir becomes the boss.
Word Count: 3537
Pairing: MobBoss!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader
Warnings: Violence, crime, blood, explicit language, dysfunctional relationship, mentions of sex. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don’t condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.
Series Masterlist
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The week after you almost died was chaotic, and not even for the reasons you had assumed earlier.
Needless to say, everyone in your life was out for blood, but the problem was that there was a specific lack of people to take revenge on.
“Do you think it’ll go back to how it used to be?” you asked Bucky as you turned your head to inspect your nose in the hallway mirror while he kept pacing in the living room, gritting his teeth while he typed something into his phone.
“We should kill every person who worked for Ian.”
“Because Sarah said it would go back to normal but it doesn’t feel like it.”
“I bet Ryan can give us a list, and—”
“Ryan already killed his inner circle that night.”
“There has to be some people left,” Bucky insisted and you heaved a sigh.
“Bucky, you can’t kill people just because they worked for Ian,” you said. “Most of them switched sides already—”
“That’s not enough, and once a traitor always a traitor.”
You rolled your eyes and made your way to him to stop his pacing, cupping his cheek. He took a deep breath, his blue eyes locked in yours as he clenched his jaw like he was trying to keep it together.
“Buck.”
“They hurt you.”
“Not really, the ones who hurt me are dead,” you said. “I killed one of them, Ryan killed the rest.”
“I need to do something,” he insisted through his teeth. “I…it’s bad enough that I let you get hurt—”
“You didn’t let me get hurt.”
“I was supposed to protect you,” he said. “Not…not you or Ryan.”
“I’ll let the next person who tries to kill me know about that.”
“Charm.”
“Bucky,” you said with a small laugh. “I’m fine. I promise.”
“Your nose is broken,” he reminded you. “There are stitches on your head.”
“Both of those things are temporary,” you assured him. “Seriously. Besides I…you know, it’ll be a good look for the sit down tomorrow night. I’ll look badass.”
He opened his mouth to argue but you both turned your heads when someone knocked on the door.
“Come in,” you called out and the front door opened before Ryan stepped into the apartment, his hands clasped behind him, his back completely straight in the perfect soldier pose.
“Ma’am,” he said. “Mr. Barnes.”
“Ryan, hi!” you said. “You’re back already?”
“Yes ma’am,” he said before stealing a look at Bucky and you waved a hand in the air.
“You can say whatever you want to say in front of Bucky.”
“When I asked to have the morning off, I took the liberty of visiting Mr. Ian’s warehouse,” Ryan said, making you tilt your head.
“He had a warehouse?”
“Yes ma’am. I wanted to make sure we have cleaned out everyone who might still support him or pose a threat to you, so…” he trailed off and pulled out a flash drive from his pocket, extending his hand. You took it from him, then heaved a sigh.
“Anyone we know?”
“I didn’t check what’s inside, ma’am,” he said. “The only reason why I didn’t say where I was going was because I wasn’t sure if there was anything inside that warehouse, but there was. We found it in the safe.”
“We?” Bucky repeated and Ryan nodded.
“One of my trusted men, sir, he can crack open any case.”
You pressed your lips together as you plugged the drive into your laptop, then clicked on the first file and let out a breath, staring at the screen.
“That fucker…” you murmured. “Ah. Well now it makes sense.”
“What?” Bucky asked and you licked your lips.
“Check out the name here.”
Bucky came closer to see the screen, then raised his brows.
“Should’ve known,” he muttered. “If there was going to be anyone HYDRA had its claws in, it’d be Ian.”
“I didn’t think he was this big of an idiot.”
“Did you know he was making deals with HYDRA?” Bucky asked Ryan who shook his head.
“No sir, I wasn’t allowed in most of the meetings. Mrs. Barnes saw it before.”
“Yeah, he kept him outside,” you said. “Figures. Oh, my dad will hate this.”
“Will you tell the others?”
You paused for a moment, then shook your head.
“No,” you said. “This stays in the family—that includes you as well, Ryan.”
Ryan bowed slightly. “Of course, ma’am.”
“Will you give us a moment please?” you asked him and he nodded, then walked out of the room. You turned to Bucky, tapping your fingertips on the kitchen island.
“This is how they had all those attacks on everyone’s territory—everyone’s but ours,” you told him. “That’s how Ian knew it wasn’t HYDRA, but us.”
“I guess he’s lucky you killed him already,” Bucky said. “This is betrayal. People would be racing each other to kill him.”
“Working with HYDRA though?” you insisted. “That doesn’t just mean betraying others, it means betraying the family. Forget the other bosses, my dad would kill him if he heard about this.”
Bucky grinned. “That argument should come in handy. This afternoon.”
You shook your head.
“I am not looking forward to that,” you murmured. “Especially with my aunt there.”
“She’s still here?”
“She’s leaving the city today, apparently,” you said. “I doubt she’ll go without giving me a piece of her mind first.”
“Want me to come with you?”
“No,” you said. “You have your own stuff for preparation for tomorrow, to—”
“Don’t worry about that,” he cut you off. “There won’t be anyone against you being there, we already know that.”
“Wouldn’t hurt to make sure.”
He nodded his head and came closer to carefully kiss you on the top of your head while you pocketed the flash drive, then looked up at him with a small grin.
“Seriously, how bad do I look?” you asked him and he let out a chuckle.
“You look breathtaking as usual, baby.”
“You’re such a liar,” you said with a small push to his arm and he caught your hand, entwining his fingers with yours.
“Hey,” he said. “I’m serious. Broken nose or not, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen my whole life.”
You could feel a smile curling your lips.
“And not fucking you until you get better will be torture,” Bucky added, making you scoff a laugh.
“So romantic.”
“Only for you,” he played along and slapped your butt. “Come on. We both have things to do, boss.”
“Aw I can get used to that,” you said, still grinning, then walked out of the apartment. Ryan was already waiting for you by the entrance, and straightened his back as soon as he saw you.
“Ma’am.”
“Let’s go pay a visit to my dear father,” you said and walked to the elevator with him following you.
                                               *
Your father had been furious when he saw you at the hospital, so much that you thought he would’ve killed Ian if you hadn’t.
Well, technically Bucky would kill Ian before him but…
So you knew he was going to be happy to see you but you weren’t so sure if the feeling was gonna last when he heard what you were going to say to him.
Your aunt was on her way out, loading her suitcases to the car when your car pulled over in front of the house and you heaved a sigh, then gritted your teeth. It wasn’t that you didn’t see this conversation coming, yet that did nothing to put you at ease.
“Here we go,” you murmured as the driver opened your door for you and you stepped out, your aunt gritting her teeth the moment she saw you.
“Auntie,” you said and she held up a hand, gesturing you to be silent.
“Don’t,” she said. “Don’t call me that.”
“Is father inside?”
“You’re a monster,” she spat and you pursed your lips together.
“He was going to kill me,” you told her. “You know the rules, and so did he. Don’t blame me if he was too stupid to win.”
She eyed you up and down, making Ryan take a step closer but you motioned at him to stop.
“It’s fine Ryan, thank you,” you told him before your aunt let out a hysterical laugh.
“I see you surround yourself with traitors already.”
“Ryan is my right hand auntie, you need to respect him,” you told her, making Ryan give you a proud smile before his expression turned stony again upon turning to look at your aunt.
“I do hope you and Bucky have a son,” your aunt said through her teeth. “Because trust me, I will take him away from you.”
You managed to keep your expression completely calm despite the small shudder running down your spine.
“You can try,” you told her and she scoffed, then got into the car and slammed the door. You shook your head slightly, climbing the stairs to walk through the front door.
“I apologize on her behalf, Ryan,” you told him and he shook his head.
“Don’t, ma’am,” he said. “You have nothing to apologize for. She’s a mother, it’s normal that she’s angry at me.”
“Well if my mother were here, she would tear her apart for what her son tried to do,” you muttered as you stopped by the door to your father’s office. The men waiting there nodded at you and you knocked on the door, then peeked your head in.
“Dad?”
“Oh sweetheart, come in!” he said, standing up from his seat. “I was just thinking about you.”
“Good things I hope,” you muttered, letting him kiss your cheek before you sat down on the armchair across from his desk. He filled you a glass of whiskey and put it in front of you, then filled his glass as well and went behind his desk to sit down.
“Any word on that traitorous bastard?”
“Ethan?” you said. “Not yet but any day now. We know he’s not in Chicago, a couple of Bucky’s men are already waiting for him at his hometown and…” you trailed off. “It’s honestly just a matter of who will get him first, you or Bucky or Rhett.”
“Do they know not to kill him yet?”
You grinned. “Oh trust me. Both Bucky and Rhett have a lot of…creative ideas.”
“So do I,” your father murmured and you pulled out the flash drive from your pocket.
“Speaking of traitors,” you said, “You might want to know Ian was working with HYDRA.”
Your father stared at you for a couple of seconds in silence. “What?”
“That’s how they got in,” you said. “And that’s why our territory was never attacked and everyone else’s was.”
“Our territory was attacked.”
“Not by HYDRA.”
“We don’t—” he started, then raised his brows, heaving a deep sigh. “You.”
“Well Ian is dead now so it doesn’t really matter,” you said. “But yeah.”
“I asked you and you said no.”
“Can you blame me?” you asked. “I didn’t exactly have leverage yet, nor had I proven myself. I will use the names in the file to track them down, I figured you wouldn’t want anyone else to get involved, especially the other bosses.”
“You thought right,” he said. “Especially the sit down tomorrow…”
“That’s actually why I’m here,” you said, your heart beating in your ears and he pulled his brows together, then scoffed a laugh.
“Sweetheart, obviously I will name you my heir tomorrow.”
You took a sip of the whiskey, then heaved a sigh.
“Yeah I figured you’d say that,” you said. “That’s the problem.”
“The problem?”
“I didn’t almost die just so that you can name me your heir,” you said, looking him in the eye. “That’s not how it works. You know how cage fight works, I’ve been through worse. Being named heir is not going to be enough.”
He frowned at you as if he was confused before a look of realization dawned on his face and he leaned back on his seat, his eyes locked in yours.
“Is this a hostile takeover?”
You shrugged your shoulders. “Doesn’t have to be hostile.”
A silence fell upon the room while he stared at you, then let out a breath.
“And you think you’re ready?”
“I know I am.”
“Just out of curiosity,” he said. “What would happen if I refused?”
“You can refuse,” you said, your voice completely calm. “But it’s not going to change anything. I have the support from other bosses, I have proven myself and your latest choice of heir fucked over everyone, which could backfire on you. So, I’m sitting at the head of that table tomorrow, whether you like it or not.”
An impressed smile curled his lips before he heaved a sigh, then stood up and opened up his arms.
“Come here,” he said, making you frown.
“If you’re planning on stabbing me father—”
“Don’t be ridiculous, come here,” he said and you got up from the armchair, then stepped into his embrace. He hugged you tight, then pressed a kiss on your hair and pulled back to look at you better.
“My little girl all grown up to threaten me,” he said and you shrugged your shoulders.
“I mean I’d rather not, to be honest with you,” you muttered. “I’m just saying, there’s family and there’s business. I’m threatening the former boss right now, not my father.”
He hummed, still smiling softly.
“You have one thing right, you have proven yourself, over and over again,” he said. “Even before that bastard pulled a gun on you. I’m sorry for not seeing it sooner, Y/N. That right there was exactly what I was trying to protect you from.”
“Yeah, protecting me from business,” you said. “You should’ve known I wouldn’t have let him take it from me, dad. One of us was going to end up dead either way.”
That made him clench his jaw. “I didn’t think he’d have the guts to do that to you,” he said. “That will be on my conscience forever.”
“It shouldn’t,” you said. “I mean yeah you fucked up but you know, there’s no one who doesn’t take me seriously in the business after that whole fight. I doubt it’d have the same impact if you handed it to me, so…it’ll work in my favor.”
“Will you forgive me?”
“My father has nothing to worry about,” you told him. “And the former boss is paying for that mistake with me replacing him. Hostile takeover and all that.”
He let out a chuckle, then hugged you again.
“Perhaps I’ll buy another boat,” he said. “I should ask George what he does with all the time he has in retirement.”
A laugh escaped from you and you held up your hands. “Hey, if you want to be a cliché, I can’t stop you,” you said and checked your wristwatch. “I need to go and meet Bucky, we’re having lunch.”
“Alright,” he said. “Tell him I said hi.”
“Of course,” you said and kissed him on the cheek, then walked to the door before turning to look at him. “And thank you.”
“For what?”
“For not making this harder than it should be,” you told him and he shrugged his shoulders.
“Well,” he said. “You’re the head of the family business now. It’s your rules, the rest will follow your orders. Including the former boss.”
You let a smile curl your lips, then walked out of the office and passed through the hallway to step outside, your heels echoing on the marble floor.  
                                              *
There had been numerous sit downs at this place but this was the first one that you would attend as a boss, so needless to say you were way too impatient.
Ever since you had stepped a foot in your father’s house, you couldn’t stop tapping your foot. The guests were beginning to arrive one by one, and you desperately needed a drink but you knew you had to keep a completely clear head so you couldn’t exactly drink what the rest were drinking.
“Here,” Bucky said, touching the small of your back with one hand while giving you a glass of water with the other.
“Thank you,” you said and he pressed a kiss on your temple, making you frown and pull back. “Nope.”
“What?”
“This is a work meeting,” you told him, nodding at Clint and Natasha by the corner of the living room while Tony talked to your father and Bucky frowned.
“They already know we’re married, Charm.”
“Well we can’t be too lovey-dovey!” you whispered through your teeth and he chuckled.
“Babe, it’s going to be fine,” he said. “You’ll do great, I promise.”
“Right?” you felt the need to ask and he nodded.
“Yeah.”
“I love you, you know that right?” you asked and Bucky smirked.
“I love you too,” he said. “And you’re not going to war. It’s your first meeting as a boss, but it is still a meeting.”
You nodded your head, taking a huge sip of your water and turned your head when you heard the familiar chatter. Sarah and Becca walked into the living room, making your jaw drop.
“Hey,” Becca said as soon as she reached you. “Girl talk Buck, beat it.”
“Nice to see you too,” Bucky told her with a roll of his eyes, then turned to Sarah. “Hey.”
“Hi Bucky. Sam and Steve are in the hallway.”
“Great,” he said and walked away from you. You pulled Sarah into a hug, then pulled back to hug Becca.
“Oh my God,” you said. “What are you both doing here?”
“Well it’s your first day on the job,” Becca said. “You know, emotional support.”
“What she said,” Sarah said. “And I figured you’d be nervous, so…”
“I was,” you said with a smile. “Guys, you’re amazing.”
“I even brought a cactus,” Becca said. “Apparently that’s what people get people when they start jobs, who knew?”
“They usually get them flowers, Becca,” Sarah said and Becca waved a hand in the air.
“I haven't worked a day in my life in case you guys forgot,” she said. “Oh and Leila said ‘kick everyone’s ass’.”
“Tell her I said thank you,” you said and took a deep breath. “It’ll go well, right?”
“It’ll go great,” Sarah said, lifting your chin a bit to check your nose from the side. “It is healing nicely. The stitches too.”
“Thanks to my awesome doctor,” you said with a smile and Becca looked around.
“Your bitch of an aunt isn’t here then?”
“Nope,” you said. “She left earlier.”
“Without making a scene?” Sarah asked, disbelief apparent in her tone and you shook your head.
“Of course not,” you said. “She…she told me something.”
“What?”
“That she hopes Bucky and I have a son,” you said. “So that she can take him away from me, the same way I took Ian away from her.”
Sarah rolled her eyes and Becca raised a brow.
“Oh please,” she said. “She does know that when Bucky and you have a child, that child will be like, the most protected heir in the entire world, right?”
“I guess,” you said and Sarah frowned.
“You can’t let that get to you,” she said and you shook your head again.
“I’m not,” you said. “That’s not it.”
Becca pulled back slightly, then eyed the water glass in your hand.
“Please don’t tell me you’re pregnant,” she said, making your eyes widen.
“No!” you said. “No, I’m just not drinking because I’m trying to keep my head clear, it’s my first meeting with everyone else as a boss—no, I’m just worried I guess.”
“I agree with Becca,” Sarah said. “First of all, that child will be the most protected heir in the city, with your people and Bucky’s people. Second of all, who’s going to take your aunt seriously?”
“No one,” you admitted with a small laugh. “Yeah. Like I said, I’m just worried.”
“Don’t be—” Sarah started but you heard Ryan’s voice by the door.
“The meeting room is ready,” he said and everyone walked out of the living room one by one. Your father gave you a soft smile and you smiled at him back, then turned to Sarah and Becca.
“Wish me luck.”
“You got this,” Sarah said and Becca squeezed your hand.
“You were born for this,” she told you. “Go get ‘em tiger.”
You let out a breath, then made your way out of the living room to the meeting room before you stepped inside, your heart beating in your ears. Bucky was walking to his own seat and you brushed your hand against his as subtly as you could while you walked past him. He winked at you before sitting down as well, making you bite back a smile.
You got this.
Becca was right. You were born for this.
You took your seat at the head of the table, Ryan approaching to place a file in front of you and you cleared your throat, then lifted your head to look at everyone around the table.
“So,” you said, your voice completely calm. “Shall we begin?”
The End.
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eff-plays · 27 days ago
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Veilguard's lamppost problem
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So I was doing a quest in DATV, as one does in video games, when I stumbled upon this here conundrum.
It baffled, amused, and enraged me in equal measure, which is to say: enough to write a snarky post about it.
Gaze upon this lamppost. It is one of many in this area. Really think about the essence of a lamppost.
Why do we have those? Why did people invent lampposts? Well, to be able to see outside when it's dark, correct? To provide light to the general populace, to illuminate spaces without relying on people having their own sources of light or real flesh guys standing around holding lanterns. But why are the lights ... on top of the posts? 🤔 why not just put them on ze ground? Well, pilgrim, because when the light is high up, it can spread farther and cover more of the area, so you can put fewer lights over a greater distance! It also protects the light from people or other things snuffing it out, by keeping it out of reach!
So in summary, a lamppost must fulfill the following criteria:
spread light in the dark
support the light source
protect the light
And with this in mind, you might now wonder -- why is this lamppost floating?
What is the point of this lamppost floating? Someone, presumably, enchanted it, yes? Somebody enchanted the post to which the lamp is affixed. Somebody affixed a lamp to a wooden post, lit the lamp, then enchanted the post to hover, so as to fulfill the requirement of a lamppost, which is to hold the lamp aloft, upon the post. The magic exerts no power over the position of the lamp, only over the post, which is enchanted. Are we in agreement? Good. Now please draw your attention to the end of the post:
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We can see that this post has been designed with the floating enchantment in mind. Should the magic fail for whatever reason, this lamp post will be incapable of standing upright and fulfilling its intended purpose. Of holding the light up and out of reach.
Based on this design and function, we can assume the process of creating this post: elaborately carve a large piece of wood (upon closer inspection it might be stone, which is even worse) > elaborately design and create a piece of metal (and glass??) > affix upon this a lantern > light the lantern > enchant the light post to float > enchant the lamp post to float firmly in one location.
So now we come to the big question: Why? Why is this designed this way? Why would they do this? If you have the power to make the lamppost float, why not just get rid of it entirely? Why not just make the lantern float separately? Why go through the trouble of gesturing at mundanity by using a post at all? Why waste time, money, and resources?
I can think of a few theories as to why people might think this works as a design.
Let's say the lampposts float, and are thus able to be manipulated to move where they're needed. This is fair, but makes no sense, because then any passing mage (and there are many in Tevinter) would be able to move them around at will, which rather defeats the purpose of illuminating one specific area for public use. Remember, one of the purposes of a lamppost is to keep it out of reach of bad actors or accidents in general. Controllable lampposts would be just as unreliable as everyone having their own lanterns.
Okay, then let's say there's a specific mage that can move these because of some personalized ritual or binding, so that keeps the lights safe. In that case, what happens if that mage isn't available? Are these lampposts stuck in one place now? This would defeat the purpose of them being movable, if you need to go through one fucking guy to get them where you need them to be.
But alright, let's assume this is the intended use, their flexibility. This still doesn't explain why they need the lampposts to begin with, and don't just use floating lanterns. Why is there a lamppost when a lamp would suffice? Well, you might think, if the enchantment fails, you'd want the lamp to still be up high and lit, so it doesn't shatter, right? But once again, I draw your attention to the design of the post: if the enchantment fails, that post will not be a crutch, and it will not be there to catch and save the lamp. It will fall, because it is designed only to float.
(This is a subjective note, but the lamps did not float or animate or move when I looked at them in-game. They were entirely static. Just like regular-ass lampposts.)
Now, if they could be moved, in theory, why are there so many, and why are they placed so evenly throughout the area? It's almost as though their placement and distance from each other was meant to maximize the light from each lantern to cover bigger ground. Which would be pointless to do if they could be moved.
Okay okay, fine, let's say the lampposts snap back after a certain time! That would explain why they can be in a certain spot and need to be placed out evenly, but also why they can float. Cool. But what if there's something in the way. This is a harbor with bighuge cargo boxes and fuck-off stone statues. What if you need it for a longer period than you have before it snaps back? What if somebody needs it back in its origin point? It's far more reliable to just use your own light, which defeats the purpose of it floating, and it's too unreliable to light up a specific area, which defeats the purpose of a lamppost.
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This screenshot up here also illustrated the only other "defense" of these posts that I can think of: Well, it's Tevinter!! Those guys will enchant anything just to flex on people!
First of all, who are they flexing on? Fereldans? Orlesians? "Hey, we also have stupid mundane lampposts, but ours float, so fuck you?" Sure, I guess, but look where these particular ones are. A drab, dirty, empty-ass dock, where there was only a handful of enemies and one minor friendly NPC. There was NOBODY ELSE there. No workers, no traders, nothing. But the lights were lit. For whom? Who is meant to be impressed by this? If you have enough magic to waste it on frivolous shit, why is this the only way you can express it?
Do you see my fucking issue?
And yeah, I know. It's just a fucking lamppost in a video game. But I want you guys to understand that this lamppost went through at least one concept artist, one art director/lead artist, one 3D modeller, and a level designer. None of those people went "hey this is fucking stupid," or if they did, they were incomprehensibly vetoed by somebody higher up the ladder.
This fucking lamppost encompasses so many issues with Veilguard. Like hey, this sounds pretty cool, right? And it's plausible in the world, right? So just do it. Don't think of the implications or impact of these things at all. Just do it! It's cool, right? Floating lampposts? Those are unique and cool and show off how magic-y Tevinter is! That's all you need! It's Tevinter, so they do normal stuff but with magic! Yes they use very mundane ways of illuminating an area but!! It floats!! So it's magic! Like in Tevinter? With the mages?
Environmental storytelling isn't just putting skeletons on toilets and leaving bloody notes next to a pile of gore. It's shit like this, too. And Veilguard just went "well this could totally happen and if it's cool then it should be in there!" and just didn't bother thinking a single step ahead of that.
Blech.
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papercorgiworld · 11 months ago
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Boyfriend material: Enzo Berkshire
A sweet but sneaky Enzo tries to win you over with his boyfriend skills. He works hard to make sure you’ll never want another man, so things get smutty.
This is a requested part two of ‘Boyfriend material’ about Enzo. Read part one here.
Warning: piv, no protection, oral fem receiving
Feedback is always very welcome.
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Lorenzo was convinced that you were a 100% wifey material, now all he had to do was get you to think the same of him. The music was blasting and Enzo was showing off his best moves while his eyes searched for you. So far four girls had already thrown themselves at him and you were still nowhere in sight, making him down another glass of liquor. Maybe you were already with someone else, maybe you had left the party with someone, maybe you… Enzo shook his head trying not to think about you alone with some other guy. He urgently poured himself another drink and jumped on a nearby table, drawing the crowd’s attention with some fine moves.
A childlike joy filled him when he finally found you among the dancing people and you were staring right back at him, like no one else was there. A wide smile appeared on your lips and Enzo winked at you, while he mouthed the lyrics of a rather suggestive song. You couldn’t help but get flustered and laugh. This was his moment. The moment that you would tell your grandchildren about. About how you found each other in the crowd, laughed and fell in love. However, that didn’t happen because out of nowhere a drunk girl pulled Lorenzo towards her and started grinding against him. People started cheering and when Enzo looked over at you, you had already turned away from him. Realizing how bad it must’ve looked he immediately jumps off of the table and moves in your direction, getting annoyed by everyone who’s in his way.
When he finally finds you, he stops in his tracks at the sight of you in Draco’s arms. Your arm is slung around Draco’s neck and you’re laughing at something, while he moves a little closer with every dance move. When Draco leans in to whisper something or worse try to kiss you, Enzo panics. He steals a glass of booze out of someone’s hand and purposely runs into you, spilling the drink all over your dress. “Oh, Merlin.” Enzo says, faking innocence. “What the fuck, Enz!” You exclaim rather annoyed. “I’m so, so sorry (y/n).” As your eyes lock with Lorenzo’s soft ones you instantly forgive him. “Oh well, not that bad.” You reassure Enzo as you try to hide the sadness about your soaked dress. “Hey, I know a spell for that.” Hermoine comes to the rescue, but Lorenzo interrupts her. “No, no! No magic when you’re drunk, Hermoine. You might set the girl on fire if the spell goes wrong.” Hermoine frowns but before she can protest Pansy pulls her away, winking at Enzo.
“Follow me.” Enzo offers as he holds your hand. He leads you through the partying people, but you just watch his hand perfectly wrapped around yours. We fit like a puzzle piece. You have totally forgotten about Draco’s attempt to win you over and Enzo doesn’t feel bad about stealing you either. He might be sweeter than the average slytherin he still knows that I’ve you want something you’ve got to be quick and cunning. “Enzo, where are you taking me?” You’re met with an excited grin. “My room of course, I’ll get you something of mine to wear.” You let out a laugh, not taking him very seriously. “What?” He questions playfully. “You’re wearing an oversized shirt, aren’t you? I happen to have plenty of those things lying around.”
Once you were inside his dorm he couldn’t help but secretly stare at you and bite his lip, while you scan the room. Things weren’t going according to plan, but he still got you here. “You know I’m not that small, I need a big enough shirt.” He frowns as he searches in his closet. “This one’s even too big for me, it will do.” You nod and reach for the first button, to then look up at Lorenzo and his cheeky smirk. “Shouldn’t you turn around, while I change.” He acts baffled and you let out a laugh. “And miss the show? No, I’m definitely not turning around.” He closes the space between you two and you can’t help but heat up. You slowly work on the first three buttons, giving Enzo a glimpse of your lingerie. “I’m pretty sure I also spilled some on your bra, you should probably take it off as well.” You laugh and give him a playful slap. “Enzo!”
“Sorry, but you can’t blame a guy for trying. I mean you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.” You bite your lip and tug on his shirt, pulling him into you. “Can't blame a girl either.” You lean closer and he gets the hint. It’s a soft and slow kiss, despite the immense desire there was calmness between you two. However, this didn’t keep Lorenzo from giving his hands carte blanche and trailing your figure like you were already his. When you break the kiss he places a few soft and playful pecks on your lips. His hands fall to your ass and squeeze it before lifting you up and walking you to his bed. When he sits down with you on top of him, his hands dig into the flesh of your thighs. He pulls you against his body not allowing even a little space between you two. You swing your arms around him and drag a hand through his soft locks, before kissing him slightly rougher than before.
Lorenzo takes his time exploring your body, from slowly caressing your thighs to tenderly massaging your hips and finally moving under your dress. “How are you still wearing this?” Enzo complains and you don’t waste a second pulling your dress over your head with Enzo’s help. He reaches up to cup your cheek kissing you tenderly, while his naughty hand unclips your bra with one swift move. Your mouth opens mid kiss out of surprise and he grins into the kiss before taking his chance at dominating the kiss. He slips off your bra and starts kneading your breasts, his thumb circling your nipple and making you moan in pleasure all the while his lips are still on yours. “What are you doing to me, Berkshire?” You ask through moans and softly move your hips against his pants hoping to calm your throbbing cunt. “Darling, I’m just getting started. When I’m done with you’ll never want another man.” This promise alone turns your pussy into even more of a soaking mess.
Your continued movement against his crotch tells him your pussy is in need of him. He picks you up, places you on the bed and gives you one more kiss before quickly pulling down your shorts and panties. He stares at your wet pussy and you get a little flustered at your own neediness. He looks up at you, surprised to see you all shy and blushing. “You are so pretty.” He reassures before forcefully pushing your legs as wide as he wishes and leaning in, placing kisses along your thighs. He keeps a firm grip on your legs as his tongue darts into you, playing with your clit and having you tremble in pleasure. You repeat his name as you dig your fingers into the sheets for support. Soft sounds of ecstasy turn into cries for more, increasing Lorenzo’s hunger for you. You want to explain how close you are and tell him how much you love what he’s doing to you, for you, but you can’t manage to form a decent sentence. Thank Merlin, Enzo catches on and pushes your body down, making you lay down on the bed and fucking your pussy even harding with just his tongue and fingers. An euphoric cry and your pooling arousal tell Enzo he needs to let your body recover for a moment. He crawls over you, adoring your squirming body as you come down from your high.
Enzo places a kiss on your cheek and whispers a little confession. “I hated seeing you in Draco’s arms, so I purposely spilled that drink on you to get you away from him and underneath me.” Your mind is still hazy from your orgasm, but slowly a surprised look forms on your face. “What? Why?” He gives you another kiss. “I wanted you to be mine so bad, darling, you gave me no choice, but I’ll spend the entire night making it up to you.” He pushes himself off of you and starts undressing. You shameless stare at his hard, precum soaked dick and feel your pussy ache for him. Having your lustful eyes focus on his hard member has Lorenzo feeling more confident than ever.
You watch him carefully as he takes place in front of your entrance and grabs your legs to rest them against his shoulder. He gently diggs the tip of his cock inside of you, teasing you. As a whine leaves your lips, he smirks pleased with the effect he has on you. “I’m going to fuck you so slow and so deep.” He places a soft kiss on your lips and slowly thrusts his dick into you. You seriously worry for a moment if it's normal for a dick this hard to be so deep inside of you as he leans over you almost folding you. “Enz, so much.” You manage to mutter in between moans. “Don’t worry, you’ll stretch.” At a teasingly slow and steady pace he fucks deep into you at angle that has you seeing stars. You want to complain about his slow pace, opening your mouth to say something. But the sensations he makes you feel, keep you quiet and Enzo can’t help but grin at your failed protest. Being filled with more pleasure with every thrust, your body seems to reach a limit and your eyes get watery as your second orgasm hits you. All Enzo thinks about as he watches your blissful and pretty face is how he hopes you’ll stay with him.
You laying there, worn out and coming down from your high, has Enzo worried that him continuing to fuck you for his own needs might hurt. “You okay, darling?” You smile at his soft voice like he didn’t just angle you like a doll to then fuck you dizzy. “I’m better than okay, Enzo. I feel like I’m in heaven.” He bites his lip, pleased with his work and fucking into you only a few more times before climaxing. You always thought Lorenzo was handsome, but hearing him moan and pant while his eyes get shiny from his orgasm was just godly.
He lets himself fall next to you, clearly exhausted from the intense workout. “I overheard Pansy say you were looking for a husband- I mean boyfriend. So I thought I would show you my skill in an attempt to convince you.” You giggle at his little mistake and crawl closer to him. “I’m also a great listener and I play the piano.” He adds and you kiss his shoulder, making your way up to his lips. “I’m definitely considering you as potential boyfriend material.” You whisper playfully, earning a little butt squeeze from Enzo. Consider? Oh, darling, don’t taunt me. I’ll fuck you silly.
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alice-after-dark · 6 months ago
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Vox as an Abuse Victim
So here is that massive Vox post I promised, a day late for...reasons. I swear I have been working on this post for days, even before that StaticMoth discourse influx in my inbox.
After making my post about Vox and Angel and reading @deeply-unserious-fellow's post about a similar topic, I thought it might be finally time to make this post. Most people who have seen my content know how I typically portray StaticMoth. I have mixed feelings about Valentino at the best of times and outright dislike him at the worst. But frankly this post isn't actually about him (well, mostly). It's about Vox and why I am really hoping that Viv keeps the angle of Vox being an abuse victim.
TW for domestic abuse, physical violence, implied sexual abuse, abusive relationships, gaslighting/victim-blaming, and other canon-typical triggers. Contain abusive StaticMoth.
Honestly? The primary reason I hope she keeps it is because it would make him an even more complex character and bring attention to a criminally underrepresented group: abuse victims who are also bad people.
As pointed out in the post I tagged above, the world has become obsessed with this idea of a "palatable" victim, the poor suffering cinnamon roll. An abuse victim is expected to look like a victim. You're supposed to instantly feel sorry for them and want to protect them...but that's not so easy when the victim is someone who also hurts people, is it? It's not so easy to pretend they didn't do bad things too...but they are still a victim. That does not change just because they are a bad person. And thus it becomes complicated and interesting. Because it's not so easy to root for the victim when they're also victimizing others, especially when those others are people we care about...like Angel Dust. At the bare minimum, Vox is doing nothing to stop Valentino from abusing Angel or any of his other employees. Having Vox be a victim of the same abuse that Angel Dust suffers (at the hands of the same abuser no less) and yet also being someone who enables Angel's abuse creates a very complicated situation.
In a most media, the discovery of a mean/bad person being abused is frequently portrayed in a "well, they were abused so you can't be mad at them anymore" kind of light. Like "see? They're just an asshole because they were being abused! Now that we know, they're suddenly a good person!" Except that's not how it works. Someone can be a bad person and also be a victim. And even if them being an asshole was the result of their abuse, those behaviors and the consequences of those behaviors don't just vanish. They still hurt people and frankly I would riot if it came out that Vox was being abused by Valentino and then everyone in the show just up and forgave him for being an asshole. Like...no? He would still need to make up for his own shit and actually work towards being a better person. I like this character because he's an unapologetic asshole. If making him a victim takes that away, then that would be such a missed opportunity.
In fact, one thing I find interesting is that I definitely believe that Vox would have no problem admitting to being a bad person, but would rather fight an exorcist alone than admit to being a victim. His ego won't allow for it. He would probably laugh in your face and call you delusional while literally having a broken screen. Because he can't admit it, even to himself. He would see it as a sign of weakness and that's not acceptable to him (side note that being a victim does not make you weak, that's just what Vox's toxic mindset tells him). While I am fairly certain that he would have moved on from most 1950s mindsets since he is all about the future and progress and moving forward, toxic masculinity is still very much a thing today and I can definitely see him embodying it in some aspects, like needing to appear strong and in control at all times (and Hell's power hierarchy definitely encourages this mindset, so...). Fuck, even now in fucking 2024, men still have a hard time being taken seriously as the victims of abuse. Unless of course you fit a certain mold.
Angel Dust is the perfect example of this. He is a palatable male victim. He's effeminate, he's funny, he's friendly, he's caring, and we actively see him miserable in his suffering. Despite being in Hell just like the rest of them and having been a former mafia member and clearly able to stand on his own two feet it combat, his victimhood is constantly on display and the audience wants to protect and save him. On the opposite end, Vox is shown in a position of power that is constantly reinforced. He's an Overlord, he's manipulative, he's cruel, he's greedy, and he enables abusive behavior from others. He is not a palatable victim, which is why it's perfect.
Now let's get into what I believe is the actual evidence that this dynamic could still be present.
Something I see people commonly say is that Vox being abused by Valentino doesn't make sense because why wouldn't Vox just fight back? He could just shock Valentino into next Tuesday? And to these people I kindly say fuck you. Because while physical strength can be a factor in abuse, it is very rarely the thing that keeps the victim from leaving. Abuse, even when physical, is heavily psychological. It's like telling a victim "well, why didn't you just leave?" It's not that easy. Abusers tend to target those with low self-esteem and it's made pretty clear that Vox is a very insecure person (I feel the need to point out that having an ego and having high self-esteem are not the same thing, in fact having a big ego is typically a side effect of very low self-esteem). It's entirely possible that Vox makes the conscious decision not to fight back because he's afraid of what will happen if he does. He's afraid Valentino will leave. We know Valentino is just as mentally and emotionally abusive to those around him as he is physically abusive and we have actively witnessed him playing into Vox's insecurities and mentally messing with him (specifically in the events leading up to "Stayed Gone").
So let's talk about the scene leading up to "Stayed Gone," because I also see Vox's behavior towards Valentino here used as justification for why it's not possible for Valentino to be abusing Vox. Full disclosure, I myself in the past have even thought that it demonstrated them being mutually abusive towards each other, but have since changed my opinion after reading more takes and doing further analysis. Having rewatched this scene many times now, I have some observations.
There's a small moment that always caught my attention when I watched this scene because I wasn't sure what it meant, but looking at it in the context of this post, I think I can see a possibility. When Vox goes to see Valentino, he approaches the doors and they are opened for him by Valentino's servants. Vox pauses in the doorway, glances at them, then continues on inside.
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What was the point of this moment? It seems out of place. Surely Vox has gone to Valentino's room before? Surely this door opening thing isn't new? And looking at Vox's face here, he looks...concerned? Like...they might hear what goes on inside? And he maintains that expression even as he enters the room, like he doesn't like that those two are out there and might hear them.
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It also makes the entire situation feel so routine. Like Valentino is upset and these girls just expect Vox to show up and take care of it. And the scenes prior to this also sets it up as a normal occurrence. Vox rearranges his entire schedule to deal with Valentino, like he absolutely expects this situation could take up the rest of his day. And Valentino clearly doesn't listen to Velvette in this regard as she had to call Vox to come deal with Valentino despite him wrecking her department. Her comment even further establishes this as normal when she tells Vox that Valentino is "up in his tower, waiting for a flat-faced prince to calm him down." And when Vox arrives? "FUCKING FINALLY!" All of this sets up a standard situation: when Valentino is upset, it is Vox's job to calm him down and make him feel better. Valentino is a full grown adult and yet he has made it someone else's problem to manage his emotions.
Then of course we have the classic moment of Valentino literally throwing his glass at Vox only seconds after Vox has arrived. And this has to have been a conscious decision, because right before that, he throws his first glass on the ground before demanding another. So if he wanted to just break something, he didn't need to throw it at Vox, but he did. And I definitely don't think he cared if Vox got out of the way or not. But how easily Vox moves aside tells us that he fully expected to have things thrown at him and was ready for it. Now, I do believe that Valentino would throw shit at literally anyone when he is mad, but the key here is that Vox, his supposed friend, on-and-off lover, and business partner, is not exempt from this behavior. He even breaks Vox's phone when he realizes Vox is not paying attention to him. He has no qualms breaking Vox's property just to soothe his rage (I would also like to point out that he fucking obliterated that thing; just how hard did he fucking throw it?!).
Something in this scene that did initially throw me as I was writing this is that Vox doesn't seem particularly afraid of Valentino. Not the way we see Angel is when Valentino gets angry. We also see him actively get angry with Valentino, get in his face, and manipulate him. In the past, I believed this behavior from Vox to have established their relationship as mutually abusive. However, after reading yet another post from @deeply-unserious-fellow, I realized that everything Vox does here is only in direct response to Valentino's tantrum.
So let's go through some things here. When Vox initially tries to tell Valentino he can't go to the hotel, Valentino straight up ignores him. Does not respond to Vox's words, completely carries on like he didn't even speak. From this point on, Vox takes an entirely different approach to the situation. He manipulates Valentino into thinking that not shooting up the hotel is his idea and even offers further appeasement in the form of shooting his own employees as a method to satisfy Valentino's temper. I admit to initially viewing this as Vox being abusive, but frankly, when your options are being manipulative or letting your business partner go shoot up a hotel that houses the literal Princess of Hell, yeah, I'd take the manipulation route. Because, as I pointed out above, Vox cannot actually control Valentino. He tries to give him an order and is completely ignored. And even when he does successfully manipulate him, he still has to appease him in some capacity.
Now, there's also something here that is often played for shits and giggles, but I'm taking it 100% seriously right now. Many people point out that Vox's screen gets brighter when he gets in Valentino's face. Valentino is a moth demon and after Vox does this, he seems to be dazed for a moment, enough for Vox to rapidly switch back into manipulator mode and does his thing. It seems to have snapped Valentino out of his rage and I literally can't help but think that Vox has learned this as a defense mechanism. Valentino can't see very well, so it's very likely Vox's hypnotism doesn't work on him, so Vox had to find other ways of manipulating him and calming him down when he's in one of his rages.
Something I also want to point out is that it is made very clear through a single solitary moment that Valentino is in no way afraid of Vox. When he tells Vox about Alastor, Vox screams in his face, manhandles him, and Valentino just...pushes him off and saunters away, grinning like the cat that caught the canary. He doesn't even look upset or concerned when Vox grabs him. He just...laughs it off...like he knows Vox won't actually hurt him. Because I genuinely think Vox won't. Later in the episode, we hear Valentino's voicemails to Angel Dust and how he's emotionally manipulating him, telling him he can't really get better. I wouldn't be surprised to find that he's given Vox a similar treatment, especially considering that it's obvious Valentino knew what kind of reaction he would get out of Vox by bringing up Alastor. And sure, he brushes it off with a kink joke, but in all seriousness, why did Valentino keep Alastor's return from Vox? We know Angel has been at the hotel for a little while and Alastor has been involved with it as of a week prior to the beginning of season 1, so why suddenly bring it up? It's almost like he was specifically holding onto this information, waiting for the perfect time to use it that would be the most beneficial to him.
There's also another little scene that always caught my attention. It's when Valentino is getting pissed about the shadow construct that Angel Dust is flirting with.
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Valentino starts getting pissy again, demands Vox's attention, gets annoyed when he doesn't get it, then immediately switches to mocking and confident when Vox starts bitching about Alastor. Like...he's so fucking proud of himself for getting Vox all worked up over Alastor. Like it's some kind of game for him. Riling Vox up and messing with his emotions is fun for Valentino. Alastor dredges up some real shit for Vox and Valentino exploits it. And from here on, he just keeps egging him on. Now, I'm pretty sure "Stayed Gone" would have happened with or without Valentino, but the point here is that he is definitely playing with Vox's emotions here.
As for the not being afraid aspect, again, Valentino hasn't actually threatened him with something that truly scares him. I don't think he's afraid of what Valentino could physically do to him. It's more likely to make him mad than anything else, even if he doesn't fight back (he'll probably go take out his anger on someone else). The thing about Vox is that we see that he does not like to appear weak in any capacity and I think this extends well into his own psyche. If he admits, even to himself, that he's a victim...to him, that's admitting weakness and he just can't do that. So Valentino's not abusing him, they just had a fight. He didn't hit back because he's in control of himself and he knows he could totally toast Valentino. It's Vox's own fault for pushing his buttons when he knew Valentino was mad. It wasn't rape cause he never said "no".
TLDR: Vox can be both an asshole and an abuse victim and it would be a really interesting aspect to his character as long as the show does it right and doesn't scrap his assholeness to make him a more palatable victim. Show him being a victim and also victimizing others. Show him not wanting to accept that he has been abused. LET PEOPLE BE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH FEELING SORRY FOR HIM.
(that's all for now, I have literally been working on this post for days and I'm exhausted)
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reixtsu · 6 months ago
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Lantern In The Shadows
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Multi character x gn reader! Gender of reader is not specified.
Characters listed in the end!
Genre: Angst (comfort in the end)
Warnings: hints is self harm, mentions blood, darkness, self hate
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He was the light within your darkness, a comforting lantern that stood upon your domain of blood. He was such a breath of fresh air, someone that you could tolerate in the cursed world you resided in.
However there was one thing that bothered you about him-out of all of the people he could have been with, why did he choose you?
In your opinion, you felt that there were plenty of better partners that he could have been with, and definitely have a healthier relationship with. You felt bad because it seemed like you were a burden to him, as you were always feeling down in the dumps.
Besides, you as the darkness did not want to dull the light that you loved so dearly.
The thought hurt so much, that 'he was making a sacrifice for the world by being with you'. You wanted him to be happy, to not deal with you since you were convinced you were a problem, something that should be wiped from this world. The aching in your chest only felt deeper day by day as you found yourself growing more and more distant from him.
Until one day, the medications were not seeming to work anymore. The emotions ran to its climax, and the feelings of negativity deep inside became shadows that blurred your vision.
The pain, it was too much to handle.
It was suffocating, as though you were drowning a cold sea of your own blood. You reached for the knife, hoping to dull out the agoney, only to be stopped.
"My love, what are you doing?" His voice was god-sent, a comforting tone that brought you back to your senses ever so slightly.
He looked at you with such softness, gently holding your wrist to prevent you from hurting yourself. 
Hot tears trickled down your face slowly, leaving traces of saltiness behind as you stared at the ground, ashamed to even look at his radiant gaze. "Don't look at me. I'm...so terrible."
His heart crumbled at your words, a wave of concern and protection washed over him as he took a step closer to you. "Don't say that. You're not terrible."
"But I am!" You cried out, tears falling nonstop as your throat felt dry from distress. "I don't deserve you. I'm such a terrible person, I made so many mistakes, and I never seem to do better!"
You coughed out the words that have been stabbing at your core every single day, but all you could see is blood everywhere, and your demons laughing at you, saying how much of a failure you were.
"I'm... a failure."
Warm arms wrapped around you and shielded you from the blood, demons, and darkness, suddenly making your cold, numb limbs feel lifelike again. Your lover kissed your forehead, a reminder that you were a treasure to worship.
"You are not a failure, or a terrible person," He whispered into your ear as he rubbed soothing shapes along your back. "You are such a great person with many great talents, values, and potencial. You might not see it yet, but everyone around you appreciates you. Take me as an example, I am so lucky to be with someone like you, who cares and takes care of me like no one else does. If you ever harm yourself, I will be devastated."
One sniff, then two sniffles. You tried your best to understand his words as he stared at you with love. You didn't really believe his words, but you knew that you could trust that he was being honest. The blood sea of darkness slowly seemed to fade away as the gentle light gave you a warm embrace.
In that moment, you knew you were loved, and you were worth his love.
    - KAVEH, kazuha, Tignari, Aether, lyney, THOMA, neuvillette, JING YUAN, Gepard, dan heng, SIGMA, Atsushi, Odasaku (BSD), your faves
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Author’s note: This story is meant to be comforting, so I know that I may give some people triggers, it sure gave me a small trigger as I wrote this, but I want everyone to know that people are willing to help those in need, no matter the form.
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fandomfucker · 1 year ago
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Judgement Day x reader Where the reader is an absolute cuddle bug, but is afraid they might be too clingy. So Judgement Day assure them that they love how cuddly they are?
Word Count: 2,053
Reader's POV
Ever since I was a child, I was extremely touchy. I always felt the need to be not only emotionally close to all my friends and family but also physically close.
I would hug each of my friends at least twice a day, along with my teachers and parents and my usually unwilling siblings.
I was able to calm down a bit by the time I got to middle school, restraining myself from hugging just my family members and my friends who were used to it by now. High fives and wrapped arms around shoulders and waists became a norm for anyone interacting with me.
In high school, I had better learned to keep my hands to myself, only occasionally hugging my friends. But, my friend group was also a bunch of pretty touchy people so sitting next to each other with our legs touching, or laying down with our head in the lap of the other while they finger-brushed our hair was a norm for us within our friend group.
I had accepted long ago that my love language was touch but that it wasn't for everyone. One potential partner in high school even broke things off because of how touchy I am. They said it was suffocating and just 'way too much'.
Touchiness has never been an issue with my four wonderful partners now, though. Rhea, Dominik, Damian, and Finn all seemed to appreciate my touches and would even go out of their way to be closer to me sometimes.
And I love and appreciate them all for it.
My partners are all very aware of my need for touch. So, on days when I get home from work, both physically and mentally exhausted, they'll center me a a big group hug until I feel better.
When I wake up in the morning, Dominik smothers me in hugs and kisses, usually ending in hours-long cuddles until we're forced to move.
Damian often has me sit in his lap, no matter where we are. A party, backstage at a WWE show, or just hanging out in the living room of our house.
Whenever I had a particularly bad day Finn would shower me with affection, figuratively and literally. He would help me take a shower, giving me small kisses on my shoulders all the while, before giving my shoulders a massage in our bedroom.
Rhea was surprisingly the most touchy out of all my partners. She constantly had to have a hand on my waist, shoulder, arm, thigh, you name it she was touching it. She's very protective and always had to make sure that not only was she giving me what I needed, but also making sure everyone else knew I was hers as well.
The doubts didn't start until about six months into our five-way relationship when I had been at home on the couch scrolling through social media while the four of them were at Monday Night RAW.
My for you page had decided to randomly show me a video of someone who had compiled a bunch of videos and pictures of me with my partners. They had all zoomed in on my partners' faces whenever I specifically was touching them and not the other way around. The person who made the video was saying "Look at how uncomfortable the Judgment Day looks. Y/n needs to stop fucking touching them and leave them alone."
The video instilled a spark of fear in me as I read all the comments agreeing with the original poster and for the next three hours I went down a rabbit hole of TikTok videos through the search from the original video; "Y/n Y/l/n being clingy".
There were at least a hundred different TikTok videos talking about it, with tons of comments throughout. I found videos so long that they had to post them on YouTube in which what they said about me was even worse because guidelines are a bit more lax.
For those three hours until my partners got home, I watched all the mean videos, read all the mean comments, saw all the mean posts, tweets, edits, etc, and sobbed as I realized that my partners probably were just doing it all because I wanted to and that they actually just hated me.
A little after midnight I heard the garage door open and Rhea's truck as they pulled into the driveway. I threw my blanket off my lap and sprinted up the stairs to our master bath. I needed to make it look like I hadn't been crying the entire time so I threw myself into the shower, making the water as hot as possible.
3rd Person POV
The four members of the Judgment Day walked through the door, into the house doing their best to stay quiet as with all the lights off they figured their partner was probably already asleep.
Hearing a noise coming from the living room, Dominik curiously made his way towards the couch, beginning to move around blankets and pillows.
Y/n's phone fell out of a blanket and bounced onto the thick carpet floor, it's face glowing up at the ceiling as a TikTok video played on a loop.
Hearing the clunk from the phone hitting the floor, Dominik tossed the blanket he was holding back onto the couch before bending down to grab the phone.
Mention of The Judgment Day along with Y/n's name made Dominik pause, focusing on the video playing. 
"I mean, just look at their body language whenever Y/n touches them. They all always just look so uncomfortable."
Dominik watched in disbelief, as he beckoned the other Judgment Day members over to him. The group has always been pretty out about their relationship and some of them about their sexualities so haters were a norm but it was beginning to cross a line by hating their partner, who wasn't in the spotlight at all.
He beckoned the other three JD members over as the video began to play from the beginning again, holding the phone out for them all to watch.
They all watched the video in concern, Damian took the phone out of Dom's hands once it was over and began to backtrack, looking at what had previously been watched before that video.
There were several more videos about this particular topic at hand which the four of them scrolled through with growing disgust.
After several minutes of this, Rhea had a thought. "Where's Y/n?" She asked the group in a small panic.
They all looked at each other in concern before Rhea bolted up the stairs, yelling their partner's name, the boys quickly following suit.
Reader's POV
I was still in the shower about ten minutes after I had heard the garage door open and my partners come in when I began to hear Rhea screaming my name as four sets of footsteps thudded up the stairs, becoming louder as they got closer to the bathroom.
Banging soon began against the door as they all reached it. I heard each of my partners distressedly shouting my name, Rhea, however, being the loudest.
I turned the water off in a rush, wrapped my towel around myself, and got out of the shower. I fumbled with the lock, unlocking it before swinging the door open in a rush. I was met with the four panicky faces of my partners.
"What's going on, is everything okay?" I asked, genuinely confused.
Rhea rushed forward, pulling me into a tight hug. My face was squished into her chest (not that I'm complaining) and was squished even further when my other three partners came around to join the group hug.
"Guys?" I asked nervously, tilting my head up and resting my chin on Rhea's collarbone so that I could see all of their faces above me.
Finn spoke aloud for the group from my left, "Love, you left your phone open downstairs. We saw what you were looking at."
The blood would have drained from my face had it not all rushed there as the tears began to fall again.
I dropped my chin off of Rhea's chest and covered my face with my hands, the top of my head now resting against her chest instead. The four of them hugged me tighter in attempted comfort which only made me feel worse.
They hated me hugging them and just generally being all over them all the time and were now hugging me to make me feel better.
"I-I'm sorry. P-please don't be m-mad," I managed to get out through the massive sobs. I began trying to push away, out of the hug barricade they'd created around me but I wasn't able to turn around very well with how tight it was, and Rhea's way too strong to move when she doesn't want to be moved.
"We're not mad, Princesa," Damian spoke gently from behind me. That just made me cry even harder.
I was crying so hard that I was struggling to breathe. My four partners kept me close and I could feel someone stroking my hair before someone gripped my hips and turned my body to face them. 
I dropped my hands from my face to my partner's waist, realizing who it was.
Looking up, my wet, red-rimmed, eyes were met with Dominik's wide brown ones. "Hey, hey." He shushed me softly. "Those videos are fake, mi amore. Okay? We all love how touchy you are. We love your hugs and kisses and all your little touches. If we didn't we wouldn't reciprocate them."
My sobs turned to sniffles at his sweet words. He gave me a small smile as he brought a hand up to my cheek, wiping away any remaining tears from my face with his thumb. 
I closed my eyes in acceptance, another tear or two slipping out at the action which Dominik was quick to swipe away. "We mean it, Cariño," Damian spoke up again, now on my right. "We love you and your cuddliness," He reassured me, his lips kept close against my hair as he gently pried me away from Dominik and tucked me into him.
"Promise?" I questioned faintly. It was directed generally towards all four of them.
I felt Rhea's hands snake around my waist, gently swaying me towards her a bit, "We promise. We love you so much and nothing and nobody will ever change that." She gave my temple a lingering kiss, squeezing my waist before turning me towards Finn.
"Don't listen to those morons on social media, love. We're just constantly uncomfortable on camera, especially around you just because we're worried about you. There's a lot of people and a lot going on and it can get overwhelming so we're a bit on edge trying to protect ya'." He explained smoothly as he brushed a few stray hairs off of my forehead and back behind my ear.
With their protective natures, this explanation did make a lot of sense. I mean, one time Rhea actually almost fought a fan at the airport because of how close he was to me despite, me telling him to get away. I guess them being my own personal bodyguards would make them a bit tense.
"Come on, as much as I hate to say it, let's get some clothes on you and put you to bed," Rhea ordered, shoving the boys out of the way to lead me back into the bathroom. I giggled at her statement, flushing bright red as she winked at me before closing the door to the bathroom, leaving me alone again as I quickly dried off and threw on some of my partners' clothes I'd stolen.
Coming out of the bathroom I saw all four of my wonderful partners seated on the edges of our giant bed, waiting for me to get into the middle for cuddles.
I grinned and got a running start, jumping full force onto the bed. Dominik made an exaggerated 'oomph' sound as I landed, causing Damian to swat the back of his head.
Laughing at my partners' antics, I crawled under the covers before opening my arms, signaling that I was ready for the puppy pile of cuddles I was about to receive.
I made my own 'oomph' sound as Dominik flopped on top of my chest, grinning wickedly as he playfully glared at me before sticking his face into my neck.
With all four of my partners now lying on top of me or next to me to some degree, I'd never felt safer or more comfortable.
Drifting off to sleep I only had one more thought.
"I love you guys."
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magesforthedas · 15 days ago
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Just have to share this, because I keep seeing critiques of Veilguard that like, try to guilt people who say they love, or even like the game. And HEAVY critiques of the protagonist, Rook, and how they aren't really a hero.
ALSO it contains some SPOILERS so just be warned ☺️ and an edit of additional thoughts now!
Like, yeah I have a couple gripes about the game, but overall it's emotional and amazing and I care about the characters so deeply. I keep seeing how people are saying how Rook and the party were not well written because they caused a lot of death?? This is Dragon Age, everything always goes from bad to worse, but the characters always bring out the light.
Rook was put in a very shitty situation, and I've seen people say they caused the destruction of thousands by trying to prevent the hundreds. But how many people, before the game came out, said Solas's plan to tear down the veil was a bad idea? Not all, I'm sure, but most. I always viewed it, and I know I wasn't alone, as that by trying to "fix" things Solas was just justifying his selfish wants, when he knew somewhere in his heart that the people of today, including the elves that he was "doing this for", would rather live alongside their friends & family in a world without their old magic, than live in a world with it alone.
That being said, even with differing views in and out of the game, it's very reasonable that a group of people would try to stop him, not know the consequences. And the beautiful thing about Rook, why Varric chose THEM, is that they saw what they had created, and didn't give up, didn't leave it to someone else to fix. Whether or not it was really their fault they stepped up and tried to save the world the best they could, from the mistake they unwittingly made (which I would argue against the fact that they made a "mistake", looking at that they were hired to do a job & by successfully completing that job there were unintended consequences).
Parallels anyone? Dragon Age loves those. But the difference, again illustrated in the game, is that while Solas couldn't move past the regret of his mistakes, Rook could. And on the topic of the deaths of those around them, not everyone that died in the past was Solas's fault, but some he did directly lead to their deaths. And he accepted that, did it over & over. Rook never led anyone to their death. Rook walked willingly into it themselves, and the love and trust their companions felt led them to choose to die for Rook, and the world instead.
And people who say the destruction of the south means the earlier games were for nothing? How so? 20 years ago, 10 years ago, things were happening, people were dying that needed saving. The heroes of that age saved the world so it would still be around to save now. And who knows what the south really looks like, or what it might look like as and after rebuilding? We will, in another 10 years once BioWare comes out with more content I suppose, and I wouldn't be surprised if everyone we knew is dead, but I also wouldn't be surprised if many, many of them lived.
Because that is Dragon Age. Death, betrayal, sacrifice, cruelty, pain. It's a dark, dark world. But there is always a ray of light, of hope. And characters who will do their utmost to protect that .
EDIT: Adding!! To this!! And more spoilers!!!
We know because of the Wetlands that it's possible to cause the Blight to pull back. In the end scene, as people are being broken out of the Blight Roots, it seems to me like it's died, at least to some degree. In my playthrough, Neve was cured of her blight sickness. There's obviously some immediate changes, and that all means that the South could have had an immediate reprieve. Plus, once more surviving wardens from Weisshaupt are free to travel south, and all the factions up north get things relatively in order, the South could get a lot of assistance.
The South was overrun... By hordes, by growths? That's the land, what about the people? Could the combined might of the Inquisitor, the Chantry, The Free Marches, Fereldan's ruler, have evacuated enough people that the death toll might be high, but not totally catastrophic? Enough people have survived to rebuild, maybe with a better, more unified attitude towards one another?
(The last bit may be wishful thinking 🥲)
But still!! We have no idea what exactly happened down there. And no matter what, Rook did the best they could, they WERE a hero, and made a difference not only for the North, but everywhere affected.
And yes, I might complain about this or that, mainly that we don't get to put more past game decisions in.... But I love this game and that won't change.
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olderthannetfic · 3 months ago
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Okay, I need advice: I'm in a very tiny fandom (like less than two dozen active people and everyone knows each other) and one of the women in it is kind of freaking me out.
We became mutuals because we had some good discussions on some of the characters we liked, but I soon became sort of uncomfortable with a lot of her online behavior whereas simultaneously she's DM-ing me more and more.
She's one of those people who's a hardliner on the issues she cares about (mostly feminism- and SA-related) while talking over people when it comes to issues she doesn't care about (mostly racism and related things). And I see a lot of her trying to intrusively police how other people talk/act, derailing people's posts, arguing with people online over the most stupid shit (where not even her own opinions come off as overly coherent - this week she'll argue something along the lines of "men are evil" and the next she'll argue that people are "demonizing masculinity" - I'll add for clarification that she's not a TERF and supports trans rights but boy... Does she sound like one sometimes) and then digging through people's profiles to find and publicize minor transgressions and bad takes, passive-aggressive vagueposting, and going into mental breakdowns over the most innocuous of online interactions.
TBH she scares me. As someone who suffered through toxic people getting overly attached to me, I genuinely sometimes get a physical reaction when I see her lashing out on the dash.
And she keeps initiating conversations! And sometimes I don't reply or bring the conversation to a natural closure and she keeps at it, or sends me random fics of hers to read that I don't have the heart to tell her don't interest me or whatever. And recently when she disagrees with something I reblogged she direct messages me to rant about it - with a lot of sort of indirect language because she doesn't want to offend me but I can see the intent. The last couple of times I replied politely because I cared about clearing misunderstandings on the topic but next time I'm just gonna tell her I dislike it when she does that.
I really want this person to stop interacting with me, to be honest, and all my polite hints to the effect go unnoticed. But the fandom is so small I feel awkward and uncomfortable about unfollowing or blocking her. I don't think she's too bad of a person, she just comes off as very... Mentally ill, I guess? And since I've tried to be polite so far I feel like it might come out of left field for her?
TBH I feel like something about her behavior also triggers some kind of freeze/fawn reaction inside of me that I don't often get and consequently don't know how to deal with.
So I need impartial advice because I don't see the situation clearly myself
--
To summarize, a person who is a walking red flag wants to be friends, and you can't easily ghost her because the fandom is small.
I think you have to accept that there is no low-conflict way out of this.
That's what's holding you back, right? You don't want more drama and you know it's coming. I think you already know in your heart of hearts that you need to get away from her even if it's a pain in the ass.
Step one is to stop responding to her DMs. That will probably make her reach out more, but you should keep not responding. If she escalates and attacks you over it, block her.
The more you offer reasons or try to gently hint, the more that will encourage her. I don't think that's true of everyone, but I do think it's the case here. This is both because it doesn't sound like she's good at perceiving or respecting boundaries and because she inspires a bad lack of ability to assert boundaries in you.
I agree that it's unfortunate that you can't stand up for yourself or tell her plainly when she's out of line, but since you can't and that probably won't change any time soon, you'll need to protect yourself a different way. Sometimes, we just have to avoid people who are bad for us even when it's an us problem. (And here, whoaaaa red flags, so I don't think it's just a you problem anyway.)
There are many sad, lonely, needy people in the world. Some of them are officially mentally ill in some way with a diagnosis. Some just need things they aren't currently getting. That sucks...
But it's also not your job to fix.
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letters-to-lgbt-kids · 3 months ago
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My dear lgbt+ kids, 
Did you know the practice of meditation can have side effects? Some people experience adverse reactions to meditation, such as heightened anxiety or depression or even delusions and hallucinations. 
What does that have to do with being lgbt? Well, nothing - but meditation is often seen as one of those “healthy things everyone should do”, something that just has so many benefits and doesn’t require you to take anything or undergo any kind of surgery, something that it’s widely recommended and accepted as healing… and even THAT super great thing has some people who will regret doing it. 
Not a perfect comparison, nothing ever is, but you see the analogy coming: Transition (social or hormonal or surgical) is super beneficial to many people. And there are also some people who will regret it. 
Any kind of health decision - and really any decision at all - can end with you regretting it. That’s a part of life. 
“Protecting people from making a decision they might regret” sounds like such a noble goal. We want to live in a world where people can make informed decisions. Education, including on risks and side effects, is something to strive for. But it’s important to remember that we can not live in a world where nobody ever regrets anything. 
People can regret getting their ears pierced. People can regret buying a car. People can regret going to university. People can regret having sex with someone. People can regret marriage. People can regret moving to a different state. People can regret coming out as gay. People can regret hip replacement surgery. And yes, people can also regret transitioning. 
If we seriously wanted to protect people from ever regretting anything, we would need to just take any deciding power away  (and then who would we give it to? Whoever makes our decisions for us then, they could also make a decision they end up regretting!). 
Another reason why this analogy works: I told you meditation has side effects and people regret it - but I pretty conveniently left out that it’s pretty rare for that to happen. Meditation is generally very safe and has a really low regret rate. Plus, people who regret it may not regret that they choose to meditate all together but rather report that they regret a specific experience (such as choosing silent meditation over guided meditation or going on a meditation retreat that lasted multiple days). 
Similar to that, transition also has a low regret rate (statistically much lower than tattoos or hip replacement surgery for example!) - and people who regret it may not actually be a case of “I regret it because I realized I’m not transgender”, even if that’s what transphobes tell you. Some people still identify as transgender but regret their surgery because they experienced complications (as they can arise from any kind of medical procedure). Some people regret it because they lost friends or family or job opportunities after coming out. And so on. 
The topic of regret is much more complicated than “meditation is actually bad” or “they woke up one day and realized they were brainwashed into believing they were trans”. And it’s unfair to not only the ones who will never regret it but also to the ones who do regret it to reduce their stories to a cautionary tale meant to stop people from making a decision over their own body.
“We need to protect people from making decisions they might regret” just isn’t a good argument. 
With all my love, 
Your Tumblr Dad 
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