#not edits tho we got plenty of those

[somecleverartname05]

A little bit of Ultraman Rising fanart

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: If This Is Love, You Gotta Ride For Me {4}

Title: If This Is Love, You Gotta Ride For Me {4}

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Warning: Heavy Angst, Cursing, Violence, Heartbreak, Blood, TW: Cancer Talk, TW: Murder, TW: Cancer Death, TW: Mentions of Sexual Assult, TW: Mention of Attempted Sexual Assault (Not graphic nor successful), PLENTY OF WORDS, Plot Heavy

Words: 9.4k

Summary: They say the truth will set you free but these truths can kill. Will revenge be enough?

Note: We're almost there. 1 more part to go.

As always, thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy.

If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!

****NOT Edited/Proofread****

Previous: If This Is Love, I Don’t Want It {1} | If This Is Love, You Need To Prove It {2} | If This Is Love, You Need To Mean It {3} |

-Lewis-

That was it then. He’d lost you. He could see it in your eyes. Those damn expressive angel eyes that always bored into him, always haunted him, always crippled him. He guessed they’d haunt him for the rest of his life now. He’d dream of them, envision them, and miss them. He didn’t know how he’d move on; he didn’t see a way to, but he also knew that when you’d made up your mind you made it up for good, and rarely if ever was it changeable.

His phone sounded with another notification. He expected it to be Aleeza, but it was the fellas group chat.

MSG Miles: I feel like we should be there when you tell old bitty to kick rocks.

MSG Andrew: Or to make sure she don’t tie your ass up and have her way with you. I totally see her being a Mrs. Robinson on 1000.

MSG Daniel: Things any better with Y/N? If you want I can put in the good word.

He sighed feeling more than thankful he had them. Throughout his life, they’d remained loyal and never fake. He was grateful they were there for mostly all the highs and even more of the lows. This low though really felt all-consuming.

MSG: Nah, I can handle the old bitty. I’ll show y’all the security footage later if she gets outta pocket.

MSG Miles: For entertainment purposes I kinda want her to get outta pocket and get shamed. Can’t wait for this cold dish of revenge Y/N is planning on serving.

MSG Daniel: She was def wild for all that shit she’s done. You don’t ever try to take anyone’s life for stupid reasons like dick.

MSG Andrew: Guess you can officially say you got these chicks wildin’ the fuck out over yo’ dick.

He knew it was a joke and any other time he probably would have laughed at it, only right now, it was too fresh—too raw. He was right though. Before he’d had situations with fans and groupies who’d done some wild shit to get his attention or even get close, but this took the cake. He wasn’t proud at all.

MSG: Shit’s wild.

MSG Daniel: How’s Y/N? frfr.

MSG: Not good. She’s not taking care of herself, avoiding the situation when it comes to us, and pushing me away. Shit’s not good. She looks at me and it feels like I’m looking at a stranger.

MSG Miles: That’s tough.

MSG Daniel: You gotta understand tho. Imagine finding all this shit out which changes things but still being on the receiving end of all that hurt. She must feel betrayed.

MSG Andrew: The whole virginity thing too is crazy. Give her time. It’s fresh right now. She probably hasn’t registered it all.

He knew Andrew was right, he could even see Daniel’s reasons too, but it didn’t make it any easier for him. The worst part for him was that he was trying to protect you the best way he thought of at that time, he was trying to protect you from any more danger after your accident and instead, he’d ended up shielding you from nothing. He’d caused the damage, but he couldn’t contain the fallout.

The self-loathing part of him wanted you to run away from him and never look back. He’d always worried that he’d only bring heartache to anyone he truly loved and here he was doing just that. Groaning, he rubbed the back of his neck trying to take away the pounding that had settled in since you walked into his bedroom in Monaco. He didn’t know how he was going to make it through the rest of the week.

MSG Daniel: Did she tell you the plan?

MSG: Nope.

He wanted to support you in this but rather than inserting himself he decided to let you take lead. If you wanted him to be involved you’d tell him. He knew better than to hold too tightly because it would have the opposite effect.

The sound of his doorbell rang throughout the house, and he knew who it was. He’d expected her. Even though he’d texted her his decision he knew she wouldn’t stand for it. He pulled up the security app on his phone and sighed seeing her standing there in a matching white pencil skirt suit. Her professionally dyed hair reflected the sun until it shined. She looked irritated and he decided then to irritate her some more.

A minute stretched and she waited. Before 2 minutes passed, she rang the bell again and again and again. She was really beyond getting on his nerves. He’d had enough. Tapping the microphone he began.

“What do you want Aleeza?”

Her head spun around before looking up right into the inconspicuous camera there. His security team thought it was the best spot to catch people unaware.

“Really Lewis!? Open the fucking door. You’re really pissing me off!”

He scoffed, “Why would I care? You gave me an ultimatum, actually, my blackmail options and I promptly gave you your response in the allotted time, swiftly go fuck yourself, lady. My dick isn’t for sale, lone or rental.”

Her jaw dropped. “Lewis! I suggest you think this through and think about your future and career. Think about everything you’re putting at risk.”

“Fuck! Shut up! No matter what you say or do my answer won’t change. It’s a no. I don’t want you in any way. You disgust me.”

She looked like she could blast off into the air any minute. He could actually see the steam coming out of her ears. Either she wasn’t used to being told no, or she’d really expected him to agree.

“You’re going to regret this come Friday. I swear it! Her blood is on your hands.”

He saw red! “Shut the fuck up! I swear to everything I value in this world, her being a primary one, if you touch her or hire someone else to touch even one skin follicle on her I will make you regret the day you ever put Jordan Y/L/N in your sights. I hold grudges and have a lot of money at my disposal and those two things spell trouble for people like you. Leave before I call my security to escort you off the property. Also don’t come back.”

She shoved her middle finger in the air while glaring at the camera then she stomped off. He watched her get into her car and slap and punch the steering wheel as she jerked back and forth. She must have been screaming and losing her shit. She’d played her ultimate hand—the four of a kind but he’d outplayed her with his royal flush.

As she rolled off his property he pulled up his messages with you.

MSG: From this moment be extra careful. She’s livid and feels she has nothing to lose. People like that are wild cards and wild cards are dangerous.

A few minutes passed before you replied.

MSG AngelEyes: Let the bitch come.

Your confidence and rage came through each word and though he was worried he also fell deeper in love with you because of them.

~~~~~~~~

-Y/N-

Rage is a quiet beast. It was one of the trickiest motherfuckers out there. There’d be times you think you’d tamed it and found a way to simmer it down only for a fragment of a word or a look made it flare. Rage was something familiar to you. You’d felt it when your mother passed, felt the crushing and suffocating feeling of it coiling within you, felt it trying to take over everything until it had. That rage changed your life.

This was the second time you’d dealt with it. You thought you had a better handle on it, but you’d come to realize that it was in your veins, in your blood, embedded in you. Shit, you were rage. when you least expected it the beast raged, and it took everything to rein it in. You had to because it wasn’t time to fully unleash it yet.

So Monday passed in a whirl. You worked, took meetings, did interviews, made plans for the team, and even the last-minute foundation event that you were in charge of planning. You were surprised no one saw the difference in you. It was your father who looked at you with an extra layer of worry. You had to assure him you were fine while making a note to make it up to him Friday night. By Friday night, he was going to see the scales of the chimera he’d married.

Tuesday came and mirrored Monday. You piled more and more on needing a constant distraction from the war in your head and the ache in your heart. This week was extra torturous because you were supposed to be at one of Lewis’ races to stand in for your father and you had no idea how you were going to make it through. Looking at him had become next to impossible, being anywhere near him was too much. You had no hope it would go smoothly.

When Wednesday came around and you landed in Barcelona, you told yourself to just get through the rest of the week. You were practically shutting down already. It took everything in you to get through the interviews. Took all of your composure and high media training to smile and laugh for the cameras. It took even more strength to take pictures with Lewis with his hand at the small of your back.

Your body still remembered him, still craved him, but your brain and heart were at war, leaving you in a chaotic state of panic. He must have noticed because he tried to put you on the end with George in between you as often as he could. Even that small action made your heart reach for him though your brain scoffed at it claiming it was the least he could do.

As you watched his race, you felt dead and suspected you looked it too. You noticed his distraction during the race, noticed he was driving very unlike himself but rather than not caring you found yourself getting upset about it.

“Maybe it’s time for Jordan to think about ending his contract if this is the quality of racing he’s giving us.”

Aleeza’s voice had the impact of nails running down a chalkboard. Instantly you reared around at her. She stood there in a mini skirt that was several decades too young for her and a blouse that was almost see-through. Trashy, you thought. You envisioned yourself Naruto running to her to then headbutting her then slamming her face into the cemented floor of the paddock and jumping on her back with your knee between her shoulder blades while placing her head in a headlock until she took her last breath.

It was then you realized you hadn’t tamed shit. It was in full control.

“Uh hello! What the hell is wrong with you, Y/N?”

Snapping back to reality, you saw she stared at you with confusion and amusement. Your head twitched with the effort it took to contain this beast you wanted to unleash in every way.

“See, I told Jordan that giving you too much responsibility wouldn’t be good for the brand or the family.”

She sighed and watched the screen.

“He definitely doesn’t look to be doing well today. Any idea why?”

“Oh, how would I know that now Aleeza? However—you don’t look to be doing well either. Your skin looks quite—dry.”

Aleeza gasped and clapped her hand on her cheek.

“Maybe you should make an appointment with my esthetician. She’d never let me go out looking like this.”

Aleeza glared at you then she took one step too close. It was a step you mirrored. “I can also give you the number to an age-appropriate stylist who won’t have you out here looking foul.”

You gave her the once over furthering her humiliation.

“When your father isn’t around the real you comes out.”

“Says the scaly slithering snake to the human.”

She looked as if she wanted to hit you and you prayed she did.

“I wish you would bitch. Make my fucking day.”

Aleeza must have seen you really didn’t give two fucks because she backed off a few seconds later.

“Enjoy this week, Y/N. Enjoy it well,” Aleeza said before she walked off.

The effort it took to flip back to the unbothered professional should have been huge, but it felt like lite work and that scared you a little.

“Don’t allow anyone, man, woman, or child, but especially a man turn you into something or someone you are not!”

Your mother’s words came back to you then and you clung to them more fiercely than you’d ever hung on to anything before. Her sage words held new meaning now. Was that how she’d taken the high road when it came to Aleeza back in the day? Was that how she’d remained so classy? You missed her even more now than ever.

By the time Friday came around and the fundraiser event arrived, you were back in London and more than ready to get the night over with. You looked yourself over once more then nodded at your reflection. This was as good as it was gonna get, you said to yourself. A message from your father told you of his arrival then you quickly made your way down to the waiting limo.

Once you got in, you smiled adoringly at your father.

“Wow, you look absolutely beautiful darling.”

“Thanks dad. You’re looking very debonair too.”

He smiled then straightened his tie and posed. You giggled and shook your head.

“The ladies won’t know what hit 'em.”

He chuckled but Aleeza’s hating ass cleared her throat exaggeratedly.

“Really?!”

You rolled your eyes. “Figure of speech. Really Aleeza, since you like to dress so young you’d think you’d keep your vocabulary just as young too.”

A small hiss escaped her. An actual hiss. The bitch was showing more and more of her true form with each passing day, you thought.

“Ladies,” your father warned.

You raised your hands up in defeat. “Kidding dad, you know I joke a lot.”

Aleeza glared at you from across the limo, clearly not interested in pretending anymore. Good, you thought. Tonight was going to be her big reveal.  Once the three of you stepped out of the limo in front of the flashing cameras you smiled, waved, and portrayed the perfect family. The majority of the photographers wanted pics of you and your father together sans Aleeza and that suit you fine. It was the perfect beginning of the night, starve the bitch of what she craved most—attention.

As the event went on, you smiled, took interviews, joked, and dazzled always remaining the center of the group discussion. Plenty of attendees complimented you on not only how beautiful you looked but how knowledgeable you were about a plethora of things not only F1 related. Those compliments were what brought you the most flattery. You’d always prized your brain over your beauty. Your mother taught you that beauty could fade and be taken away, but your intelligence was always yours.

More than halfway through the event your back was turned to the crowd as you guzzled another glass of champagne. They weren’t helping with anything really.

“Look who cleans up like an actual princess of F1.”

You turned to the teasing words and smiled at Miles. “Ha ha, funny.”

“You look great, Y/N,” Andrew said leaning in to kiss your cheek.

Miles and Daniel mirrored his actions and sentiments.

“Thank you.”

Lewis came into view, and he looked good—too good. The black tuxedo he wore looked made for him and probably was. From the look of it, you could tell it was probably a McQueen piece. He always could cut a good suit and Lewis loved how they fit him. You got lost scanning his attire for a few moments before you looked away and grabbed another glass of champagne from a passing waiter.

“Hi,” he quietly said.

You nodded and looked around the room.

“Glad you guys could make it,” you said.

“Of course. We said we had your back and if she really plans on making her move tonight then nowhere else we’d rather be,” Daniel said.

Being the amazing hacker—no information investigator he was, Daniel had been able to tap into her phone and clone it. Whenever she got a message so did you and she’d gotten plenty of messages over the week. She was very busy making plans for your downfall. It was insane how she moved. It was like she was highly intelligent or had bouts of it but was basically a basic dumb bitch. Who made illegal plans through cellphones? Who tried to off someone more than once? Who used the same person the 2nd time as the 1st? It was confusing as shit. Was she smart or stupid?

“I think she will. She’s said plenty of shit that hints at me not making it past this week.”

Lewis turned to the bar giving the group his back as he hung his head. You glanced at them hoping they could fill in what that was. Daniel, Miles, and Andrew all solemnly shook their heads. You wondered if he was still beating himself up about not placing in the last race. The race he practically had the worst finish in his entire career. He was always the hardest on himself.

A thought hit you then. Was he putting everything on his shoulders and beating himself up?

“This is dangerous,” Lewis said before he sighed. “It’s too dangerous.”

“I’ll be fine,” you dismissed.

“You can’t use yourself as bait.”

“There are so many of my guys on her tonight, no one will get near her. I promise bro.”

You felt safe knowing Daniel had assigned an additional 8 guys to bodyguard you. They were guys he’d personally chosen so you knew he trusted them and their ability to get the job done. A message came through on your phone and you knew it wasn’t for you. It was a message to Aleeza from whoever “Dom” was.

MSG Dom: Everything is ready. You sure you want sharp.

MSG Aleeza: Definitely. I want it to be excruciating.

MSG Dom: Such a waste. She’s hot. Maybe a little fun before it’s done?

MSG Aleeza: I don’t give a shit what else you want to do. Just get it done by midnight.

MSG Dom: Consider it done.

Your stomach rolled as you showed them the message.

“Wow,” they said in unison.

‘Yep. Anyway, enjoy yourselves, fellas. Seeing as it is my actual death day, I intend to live it up.”

You walked away and joined a group of faces you knew while trying to put the very disturbing facts in the back of your mind. When you made your speech to the crowd no one could tell anything was wrong. You were the picture of calm, grace, and professionalism. Your father oozed pride while Aleeza oozed her usual disdainful slime. It was more fun to fuck with her now so you did taunting her with glares, smiles and waves as a loving stepdaughter would. She hated it but the photographers loved it and ate it up.

Once business was finished you mingled and even allowed some of the attendees to swirl you around the dance floor. How you got through it, you had no idea. The sheer will of the heavens was not enough, it took everything above and in between. Twenty or so minutes after your father left, you looked at your phone and saw it was nearing 11:30. Deciding it was time to leave you shot Daniel a message letting him know.

As soon as you stood, Lewis approached you. The sad puppy dog look in his eyes made your belly flip and heart beat out your chest to him.

“If I don’t ask you now I’ll regret it. Can I have this dance?”

He held his hand out to you and you hesitated. So many urges filled you. Walk away, run away, slap him, stomp on his foot, crash your lips to his, and even accept his hand. You stood there unsure what to say but when a camera flash caught you from the right you realized the only thing you could do was accept it.

You placed your hand in his and tried to ignore the instant static shock that coursed through you. Sticking your finger in a socket had nothing on this feeling. Lewis led you to the sparsely spotted dance floor then wrapped his arm around you holding you firmly bit gently. He led you in a demure dance that drew the eyes of the remaining attendees. They smiled and raised their glasses to you as if blessing the possibility of this union. If only they knew, you thought.

You danced in silence for a long while as you battled the feelings bubbling within you. You couldn’t afford to fall apart now. The finish line was within sight, and you needed to remain objective.

“Can I say something?”

“What? Y—you just did.”

“Something else then?”

You nodded.

“You—ehm, you look absolutely breathtaking tonight.”

Your eyes locked and just like that, you felt yourself being sucked in. They were simple words that should not have elicited this reaction but that had, nonetheless.

“I’m so proud of the amazing job you managed to do tonight. You never cease to amaze me, but I am always blown away by you.”

You felt the tear roll before you could stop it and that tear led to another. Lewis’ features softened and he pulled you closer wrapping his arms around you. “Angel eyes,” Lewis whispered against your ear.

You buried your face in the crook of his neck, seeking refuge, and allowed yourself to cry. The way he held you tightly but so damn gently made you want to climb into his skin and allow him to comfort you until he’d erased every bad thing about the last few weeks. You wanted it so badly that it made you cry harder.

“I’m sorry,” he added voice rough with emotion.

His large, strong hands slipped lower from the middle of your back to the small apex at your tailbone. It was a small action, but it had a major impact. The erratic beat of your heart steadied and the tears that were flowing like a torrential downpour slowed to trickles. When he held you tighter against him so there was not even a microscopic speck of space between you, everything else faded.

A soft sigh fell from you as your body relaxed for the first time in days.

“I’m so sorry angel eyes. It kills me to see you like this, it kills me to know I’m the cause that had I made a different decision this may not have been such a colossal clusterfuck.”

You’d thought that same thing many times. In hindsight, it was easy to put the blame on him. If he had told you or your father from the very beginning maybe things would have been different. Or maybe Aleeza’s tight hold on your father would have made things convoluted and more complicated, maybe it would have made things worse. Maybe you would have lost your father’s trust. There were so many possibles, maybes, mights, and should haves but none of it was certain.

Your logical mind underneath all the rage, pain, and distrust knew this. It’s just when it all comes back, logic disappears and that was what happened. After blotting your tears on his fancy designer suit, you slowly took a few steps back from Lewis. His arms were reluctant to release you, but they did and when you were an arm’s length away, his hands fell to his sides.

Your eyes met and instantly you knew he had so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted you to hear but his lips remained sealed. A message on your phone brought your attention back to the task of the night. Revenge.

“I gotta go.”

With that, you slipped past him allowing your fingertips to graze his as you passed. Still, his touch sent jolts of electricity through you to rival the joules sent through a lightning strike. Forcing any thoughts that weren’t about the plan out of your head, you waved to others as you left then slipped outside. Though it appeared you were alone, you knew there were at least nine pairs of eyes on you and the panic button that was in your purse which tracked your location while recording every sound around you.

You slipped a pair of sunglasses on and then began swaying.

“Ms. Y/L/N? Are you waiting for your car?”

“M—My—car. It shoulda been ‘ere,” you heavily slurred.

“Let me find out for you. Lean against here so you don’t fall,” the attendant said.

“No, no, that won’t be necessary, Ms. Y/L/N, we are here. Right this way,” an unfamiliar voice said.

“Are you her driver?”

“Of course. Come, Ms. Y/L/N, your father has already made it home and wishes to see you.”

The man’s arm wrapped around your shoulder as he began leading you to a legit looking black car. You knew this guy wasn’t your driver and suspected it was that Dom person that Aleeza had been planning with. You allowed him to slip you into the back of the car and you immediately slumped sideways and started singing the first song that came to mind.

Why was it Britney Spears? Maybe because it was the easiest thing to sing off-key or because kidnappers and murderers wouldn’t think someone singing it would be dangerous. You had no idea but since you were running on pure instincts now, you did your best to drunkenly sing “Hit Me Baby One More Time”, you worked the panic button out of your purse and slipped it into your cleavage just in case they took your purse. The man who’d put you in the car got into the passenger side then looked back at you and laughed.

“She is hammered out of her mind. Aleeza really had her number. Are you still heartbroken sweet ‘art? Still missing someone or something between those thighs? Don’t worry I’ll fulfill all your desires in a little while. I’ll fix your loneliness.”

Your stomach churned and fear gripped your heart but again instinct kicked in and you belted the next line as loud and off-key as possible.

“My loneliness is killing me, and I!”

The men in the front laughed.

“Nah, your loneliness isn’t the one that’ll be killing you. Just wait.”

You don’t know how you did it, but you managed to be the best drunken socialite ever and the Daily Mail wasn’t around to see your Oscar-worthy performance. The whole time you tried to keep your mind off where they were taking you and what they planned to do. You focused on the fact that Daniel and his guys were tailing you and Miles had his detective friend on standby to apprehend these assholes.

When the car came to a slow rolling stop, you pretended to be passed out. As you were pulled out of the car you heard the men laughing with each other.

“Easiest job ever.”

“Tell me about it. I almost feel bad for the girl.”

“Your sister really has it out for her huh.”

“My sister is bat shit crazy and doesn’t know how to let shit go, but she is right about one thing with this bitch out the picture more money for her and to split with us.”

These guys were fucking idiots, you thought to yourself as you got all the inside information about what was going on. Worst criminals ever. Who talks about all this with the victim within earshot and alive?

“Come on it's almost midnight let’s have some fun then off her.”

“What a pity.”

You heard the clinking of belt buckles and the rustling of material, and you knew shit was about to go south. You sprang up and looked around.

“Where am I?”

“Detour,” the man you now knew as Dom and Aleeza’s brother said.

You let your head lol forward as if it were too heavy to hold.

“She’s still drunk,” the other man said snickering.

“That’s good, it’ll make this easier for you to accept.”

You saw his pants drop and you panicked, well sort of. Your heart raced wildly but your head was calm. You took in the men and looked to all the points you knew would cause the most pain. Throughout your life, you’ve gone through plenty of training and classes. Dance, piano, flute, gymnastics, media training, etiquette training, and even self-defense.

Your parents thought it was important that you knew basic survival moves in case you were ever the victim of an abduction or home invasion. What started as basic moves turned into detailed mixed martial arts training by the one man your father trusted, Hammond, your personal bodyguard, and trainer. He’d gone deep into your training and because of it, you knew how to take someone down in 6 moves or less.

Thankfully you’d never needed the use any of the in-depth moves on anyone. Kicks to the nuts and flying five fingers to the throat worked all the time. You knew you could take these idiots in under 5 moves. Before either could lay a hand on you, a phone rang.

“Goddamn it,” Dom grunted before he dug the phone out of his pocket. “OF course it’s her. What!”

You strained to hear who was talking on the other end, but nothing came through.

“I was just going to have some fun. Come on Leeza you promised. What’s it so fucking important that she’s dead by midnight? What the fuck is this some fucked up Cinderella reenactment? It’s bullshit. I’ll kill her after we’ve tried her out. A virgin with one fuck under her belt is still practically a virgin.”

He chuckled and his lackey joined in as his beady eyes looked over your body ready to pounce given the ok. You should have pressed the panic button then so Daniel and his men could be there within a minute, but you didn’t. That rage that was silently bubbling within you was no longer silent.

“Fine!”

Dom pushed a button on the phone then shoved it to you. You sat there expectantly waiting for something.

“I bet you’re wondering what is going on right now, huh? Trying to understand who they are and even why I am on the phone now.”

Aleeza giggled as if she’d won the biggest prize in the world. Yeah, laugh now bitch, I’m coming for you, you said in your head.

“Who—who is this? What’s happening?”

“Oh that’s right, you’re drunk off your ass because the man you thought was a diamond turned to be nothing but trash. The man you fell for used you and tossed you out like the trash you are.

She giggled again. “My god, it was such a good show to watch as your heart shattered into pieces on the floor and Lewis didn’t give one flying fuck.”

You were getting tired of her laughs. She sounded like a demented Cruella DeVille.

“A—Aleeza? Is that you?”

“Fucking right it’s me. I told you to enjoy this week. Did you? I hope you did because you won’t be seeing next week.”

“Wa—What are you—what do you mean?”

“For the life of me I don’t know how Jordan put you in charge of anything let alone the board, you’re as dumb as a box of nails. You didn’t see this coming at all, did you? My god, I don’t know why I’m surprised, neither did your whore of a mother.”

Your heartbeat picked up making your ears ring loudly. For a few moments, you couldn’t hear anything but the sound of your own body fighting.

“Hello? Dom, for fucks sake tell me you didn’t kill her.”

“I didn’t touch her. She looks like she’s about to pass out though.”

Again Aleeza cackled. “Your drunk brain won’t be able to put it together but don’t worry I’ll tell you 2 secrets, because you’ll be dead after you hear them and ya know dead whores tell no tales.”

You clenched your jaw and tried to control your breathing.

“I was behind your whole Lewis break up. I blackmailed him into breaking your heart in a precise way that you’d feel that pain for the rest of your life. I was there when he did it too, it was a good show. I told him either break your heart or end his career. Can you really be surprised he chose his career over you?”

She laughed.

“Is she crying? Please tell me the bitch is crying.”

The lackey bent down and looked at your face then smiled.

“She sure is.”

That only made Aleeza laugh louder. She thought you were crying tears of sadness when in fact they were tears of rage. Before, you were going to let the police handle the justice part of your revenge, but the decision was now made that your hands would deliver justice.

“So weak. If that made you cry then my 2nd secret might actually kill you. Get close, Y/N.”

A few tense moments passed in silence before Aleeza spoke again.

“I—killed—your—mother,” she whispered stretching out each word.

Your world came apart then. Your body shook as your head tried to understand. It made no sense. How was that possible?”

“How? You’re lying. My mother died from Cancer.”

“Oh, I know. Did you know that arsenic compounds can cause cancer? Matter of fact it’s classed as a group 1 carcinogen. That means science has proven that it conclusively and all the time causes cancer in humans. When I read that it only took me a few days to come up with a better plan. See I was just going to slip her some arsenic and wham bam she’s dead, but she didn’t deserve a quick death after stealing Jordan from me and living my dream for decades. So me and my big brother Dom committed to the slow game. If you give this compound little by little every day in small enough dosages that won’t harm right away but build up to kill. I was surprised it only took a year for her to actually get cancer. By then I’d run out of patience and upped the amount and well—she was gone 3 months after her diagnosis leaving your father all alone and ready for me. The rest well—is history.”

Your tears of rage were now tears of despair. This crazy bitch was so venomous, so evil that she planned and killed your mother. What the fuck was this? This couldn’t be real life. There was no way normal people went to these lengths to get what they wanted. How? Your breathing hitched and within seconds you were hyperventilating.

“Fuck Aleeza, you might have given her a heart attack.”

She only laughed louder. Your world had just fallen apart, and she was laughing as if it was the world’s funniest comedy series. This woman had single handedly ruined yours, your mothers and your father’s lives. She’d taken your mother from you leaving a chasm within you that would never be filled. Suddenly what you’d had planned for her didn’t seem like nearly enough. The bitch had to die.

“I can’t believe we got away with it. Now it’s your turn. Anyway, don’t worry about your dad, he’ll be following soon, and I’ll take good care of Lewis for you. Very good care. Bye-bye. Dom, get it done, kill the bitch.”

“You got it little sis.”

The phone beeped, ending the call and you sat there in disbelief. In your head your mother’s final day played in your mind. She’d been in so much pain, but she still kept a brave face on never giving anything away. You knew though and watching her say goodbye to you and your father broke all of you. She’d died holding both your hands her final words being, “I wish I had more time, but I love you both.”

Fresh tears filled your eyes, and you wailed feeling a whole new sense of loss. She’d taken everything from you.

“Aww, sad bitches aren’t any fun in bed,” the lackey said.

Dom however didn’t seem to care, he approached you then gripped your shoulders with both hands. As he began pushing you backward trying to make you lie down you snapped. Suddenly your knee raised and connected with his nuts. He shouted out then collapsed on top of you. Shoving him off, you bolted up in time to see the other man running toward you. You lifted your leg and connected the pointed tip of your heels under his chin in the spot where his windpipe began. The man instantly began coughing as he struggled to get air.

You jumped to your feet keeping your eyes on both of them. Dom came at you with a metal pipe swinging wildly wanting to connect with any part of you. Bobbing and weaving, you did just as Hammond taught you all those years ago. When he realized he wasn’t going to accomplish anything, he charged you taking you by surprise. His hands wrapped around your throat and squeezed.

“I was going to make this quick but fuck that. I’ll make it slow and painful. Ever been fucked in your ass gorgeous?!”

His smile was sinister and disgusting. You lifted your knee again and kicked his in his nuts for the 2nd time. Dom dropped to his knees holding his crotch.

“You’re as dumb as your sister.”

You picked up the metal pipe then smiled.

“Have you ever been fucked in your ass gorgeous?”

He looked at you in all seriousness. Before he could get one leg up, you swung the pipe and hit him right in the face. His body dropped and he writhed in pain. From the corner of your eye, you caught the other guy coming at you, but his fist connected with your cheek before you could react. It hurt like a motherfucker, but you didn’t focus on it, instead, you swung the pipe again and whacked him at his knees taking them out and sending him to the ground. You then stomped on his crotch and hit him in the back as he rolled over hoping to protect his equipment from any further attack.

You turned to Dom to give him another hit, but it was then Daniel and the bodyguards he’d assigned came running in. As you watched them overtake Dom and his partner, you saw Lewis swing the hardest punch right to the center of Dom's face breaking his nose and knocking him out completely. A true one-hit quitter. That wasn't enough though, Lewis then kicked him in the gut twice.

"You fucking wanker! You're gonna do what to her? Fuck out of here!" He finished on another kick.

Seeing the blood gushing from Dom's face only made you even more berzerk. You screamed out and turned whacking the shit out of anything that was nearby. Soon you were a raging maniac screaming, crying, and hitting what you could as the emotions ran through you.

Strong arms wrapped around you stopping you from bringing the metal pipe down on or into anything else, then the pipe was gone as Miles yanked it out your hands.

“It’s okay Y/N, I have you. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

Lewis’s voice tried to break through the haze of rage and everything going on in your head, but it was barely making it through. His grip tightened and slowly the ringing in your ears stopped and his voice could be heard.

“It’s okay, I have you. It’s okay, I have you. It’s okay, I have you. It’s okay, I have you. It’s okay, I have you.”

You turned to him and saw sympathy in his eyes. One look around the room told you that they’d heard.

“You—you—you--,” you stuttered.

“We heard.”

Standing beside Daniel you saw Hammond with a solemn look on his face.

“We heard everything, Sparkle,” Hammond said.

The nickname he’d given you when you were a kid broke through everything.

“Hammond.”

You ran to him and crashed your body into his. Hammond hugged you tightly.

“It’s okay Sparkle. We’re gonna take care of this.”

He led you away and you let him because you trust him completely.

Twenty or so minutes later you were sitting outside your house in the limo with Hammond, Daniel, Miles, Andrew, and Lewis. On the ride over, Hammond had filled you in on how he’d cornered Daniel at the event thinking he was planning to do you harm only to be looped into the whole Aleeza mess which led him to take point with Daniel to make sure you were safe. You thought he was still on his vacation with his wife Yulee.

You were staring at the mansion you grew up in with so much going through your mind. Right now, you were sure your father was waiting in his office for Hammond after he made a call telling him there was something important to discuss. The plan was to present him with all the evidence without Aleeza present then call the cops to come in to haul her ass off to join her brother.

As you walked through your house, it felt like you weren’t walking at all. When you looked down you found Lewis’s hand engulfing yours. You looked over at him and found his eyes boring into you.

“I have you.”

His voice was muffled almost distorted as if this was real right now. However, you knew it was because you would never dream this up. This was a nightmare. Hammond led the way into your father’s office and when he saw all of you, he immediately stood.

“What’s going on? Y/N, are you all right?”

He must have seen the forming bruise on your cheek and your split lip. He came over to you cupped your cheeks and examined your injuries.

“Who did this to you?”

His eyes roamed around until they landed on Lewis beside you who was still holding your hand. Your father’s eyes dropped down to take in your clasped hands. The only reaction was a raised eyebrow. You wiggled free from Lewis’ hand then put yours behind your back.

“Hello, Mr. Y/L/N,” Lewis said.

“Hello. What’s going on? Why are you all here this late?”

He looked at Hammond who sighed.

“Old friend, I wish I were here under better circumstances but I’m not. You should sit down for this.”

Your father looked at you and you could see the worry and alarm etched on his face. You took his hand and led him to his chair then stood beside him and let the chips fall. Lewis was the one to lay it all out. You didn’t think you could get through it without turning into a completely different person. As he calmly explained everything beginning with Aleeza’s first approach to him you kept your father’s hand in yours. You watched as Lewis blew up his contract and possibly his own career to tell everything.

Your father shot up to his feet. “You did what to my daughter!”

He lurched forward to Lewis, but you squeezed his hand hoping to reign in his anger and bring his eyes to you. “I’m fine.”

“Fine? Honey--,” He began cupping your cheek with his free hand.

Tears pricked your eyes, but you fought them off. Now was not the time to fall apart.

“I’m all right.”

“This is crazy. Aleeza did this?”

“Yes, and there’s more and it gets crazier,” Miles said.

Lewis placed his phone down on the desk as your father sat back down. Then he pressed play and the recording from his place with Aleeza admitting everything and even propositioning him for sex while blackmailing him with his career played in its entirety. Your father’s hand went limp then.

“Oh my god,” he muttered weakly.

When the recording went silent he looked back at you. “Oh my god, sweetheart I had—I didn’t—oh god.”

He turned back around and dropped his head in his hands.

“Old friend there is more.”

Silence stretched again and they looked at you expecting you to take the lead but you couldn’t. You were so tired. Daniel stepped forward and explained the new information you’d found about Dom and their plan to kidnap then kill you. Your father’s top popped then. His anger was so evident that Hammond had to brace his arm around him to try to calm him down. When Daniel went on to tell him the plan you’d concocted and the precautions he’d taken, you could tell that your father was even more anxious.

Hammond took over to finish the story with how the night ended but placed the voice recording on the desk so your father could hear everything from when you were put in the car to when they’d shown up. In a matter of minutes you watched a man who’d always been your hero, a man who you loved more than anything, a man who’d been your crutch since your mother passed, a man who you saw as a pillar of strength crumble before your very eyes. His legs gave out and he staggered to the set of leather couches on the other side of his office and the minute he sank into the couch he was bawling with the weight of his anguish.

He was no longer this strong indestructible man and father; he was a distraught and broken husband riddled with guilt for the signs he didn’t see and the life he’d led with his wife’s murderer.

“Noooooooooo!”

He began punching the coffee table before him with no thought of injury to himself. You knew this, it was rage. The same rage that was overflowing in you, the same rage that you feared would consume you unless you let it out. However you knew if you did there would be no stopping it. Miles, Andrew, Daniel and Hammond did their best to restrain him so he couldn’t hurt himself any further. Lewis stepped in front of you peering into your eyes.

“I know you’re not okay right now so tell me how I can help.”

You bit your bottom lip which you’d just realized was shaking. After a few moments, your resolve crumpled as did your face. You tried to formulate words, but nothing came out, just a wail. Lewis instantly wrapped his arms around you pulling you into his strong arms. You were content releasing your despair until the office door swung open and you heard her voice.

“Jordy bear,” she sing-songed.”

Once she’d stepped into the office she stopped in her tracks holding a tray with one glass of dark liquid. Her words from earlier filled your head.

“Don’t worry about your dad, he’ll be following soon.”

What was a quiet beast before turned into a thundering monster. You tore yourself from Lewis and locked eyes on your prey like a predator. Once Aleeza’s eyes landed on you, you watched every emotion in the book wash across her face. When it settled on one, “Oh I’m fucked”, you pounced.

“Y/N, don’t,” Lewis shouted.

It was too late though. With speed you’d never had before you crossed the room to Aleeza who let go of the trey and shrieked. She made an attempt to turn and run but she was too slow. You yanked the bitch back by her hair then took out her legs bringing her to the floor right on her face. Keeping her disgusting hair wrapped around your fist, you pulled more while keeping your foot in the center of her back.

It was then you felt several pairs of hands pulling at you trying to get you off of her but you must have possessed the strength of a hundred men because you didn’t budge.

“Let her go!”

“No!”

Aleeza screamed louder as the voices behind you shouted even more for you to let her go. Fuck that you thought. You’d let her go when she’d departed to hell. A hand managed to yank you back so your knee came off her back, but your hand remained gripped in her hair. The force of you going back meant she came along for the ride which made her scream even more.

“Let her go!”

Suddenly all that was in your hand was the hair that was wrapped around it. It took a second or two to realize you’d yanked the bitch’s hair right out of her scalp. The bloody ends only fueled your anger making you see red completely. The hands that were holding you suddenly felt like a hindrance and you fought against them. You sent an elbow into someone’s gut, the back of your fist into someone’s nose, the back of your head into someone’s forehead then your forehead into someone’s forehead.

You then took off where Aleeza was running, a hand grabbed you, but you turned and shoved them before getting back to the scheduled program of beating this bitch into the grave. She screamed wildly as she ran. Seeing she was getting close to the steps you grabbed one of the vases in the hall and threw it at her feet. Aleeza screamed as she came crashing down. Before she could get up you jumped on her and began hitting her over and over and over. You didn’t stop for nothing and no one.

The more she screamed and begged you to stop the harder you hit her.

“Y/N, stop. You’ll kill her,” Lewis shouted as he tried to pull you back.

“Good! Like she killed my mother! Like she tried to kill me!”

Lewis grabbed your hand giving Aleeza a chance to squeeze out from under you. You elbowed him not caring where it landed then lunged for her again. As you wrapped your arms around her neck, you both toppled over the top step and then tumbled down the spiral staircase.

“Y/N!”

You were a bundle of legs and arms as you tumbled over and over. You felt the pain of every collision with the flat surface and blunt edge of the steps, but you didn’t care. Finally, your fall ended, and you lay there dazed and dizzy on the cold marble floor trying to catch your breath. As you breathed you ached but as you breathed it sounded more like a wheeze than a breath. Staring up, you thought you saw your mother’s face hovering above in the painted ceiling—her painted ceiling. You tried to raise your hand to touch her, but you ached too much. Her voice sounded then.

“Don’t allow anyone, man, woman, or child, but especially a man turn you into something or someone you are not!”

She deserves this,” you rasped. “After eve—everything she’s done to you. She killed you. She deserves to die.”

“Don’t allow anyone, man, woman, or child, but especially a man turn you into something or someone you are not!”

You bawled as you battled your wrath and the need for mercy. You didn’t know how to draw the line; you didn’t want to. You wanted her to bleed. You screamed loud and long then suddenly the all-consuming rage you’d felt the last week slowly left you as if it had found an opening to release itself.

Lewis came into view then. His mouth was moving but you heard no words. What you did hear though was a raspy “please.” As if possessed you turned toward the sound, ignoring the pain you felt. There was Aleeza crawling to the front door still trying to escape.

“Fuck—no!”

You flopped onto your belly then slowly inched toward her. It took forever but you managed to crawl over her and flip her onto her back. Her face was bloodied and bruised with both eyes swollen. She looked almost as ugly on the outside as she did inside.

“P—lease.”

“Look at me.”

Her pupils met yours through the tiny slits the swelling would allow and you saw her fear. Good you thought.

“I could kill you if I wanted to and no one here would bat an eye. They would help me dispose of your body and no one would ever think of you again because you are a pathetic, vile, and evil person who deserves to rot in hell for eternity. You spent so much fucking time hating my mother, hating me because you knew she was better than you. You knew that you were nothing but a speck of dirt on her shoe and you couldn’t stand it. She had what you never will, class and the love of so many people. You ruined so many lives. For what!!”

You raised your hand ready to hit her, but your hand was caught. Looking back, you saw your father.

“Don’t. Your mother wouldn’t want this for you. She wouldn’t want you to do this.”

“We’re never going to know what she wanted because she killed her!”

“I know. I know your rage honey, I feel it too, believe me, it is taking everything in me to not do what you’re doing but I won’t allow her to take anything else from us.”

His words were filled with so much pain, so much hate.

“I don’t know if I can daddy.”

“You can. Just take my hand,” Lewis said coming to stand beside your father.

You stared at him then looked at your father then back at Aleeza. Long moments passed with you not making any move until you saw your mother’s painting on the wall. Somehow the painter had managed to capture everything about her; her class, her beauty, her gentleness, her calm, and the pure peace she emulated. That peace washed over you and you knew it was her, it had to have been.

You took Lewis’ hand and allowed him to pull you up to brace yourself against him. As if sensing the fragile peace in the air, the police burst through the door.  You watched them grab Aleeza and haul her out. The police there took statements from everyone and confiscated the recordings for their evidence and samples of the brown liquid Aleeza was bringing in for your father.

After an hour, the foyer only had the seven of you. No one knew what to say.

“You need a hospital,” Lewis said to you.

“Please this is nothing. Hammond has put me through worse during training.”

“She’s tough,” Hammond replied with a proud smile.

Lewis nodded slowly but you could tell he was still worried.

“Tell you what I’ll get them both to the hospital for a proper exam,” Hammond compromised.

Lewis nodded with more enthusiasm.

“You gentlemen should be on your way,” your father said.

You looked at Miles, Andrew and Daniel and saw for the first time how banged up they looked.

“Oh my god, are you guys okay?”

They all backed up. “We’re good.”

It hit you then that you’d done this.

“Oh god guys I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re good. We’re going to head out,” Andrew said.

“Thank you guys for—everything.”

You locked eyes with each of them for a few moments and saw they understood just what you meant.

“That’s what fam is for,” Miles said.

You smiled then nodded. As they made their way to the door you noted how slowly Lewis walked.

“Are you okay?”

“He took an elbow to the chest, a headbutt, and a kick to the thigh,” Andrew listed.

Your jaw dropped. While he deserved maybe the headbutt for what he’d done, you felt bad about how you’d beaten him.

“I’m--,” you began.

“Don’t say it. I deserved it. It’s cool.”

“Ehm, speaking of what you deserve. I will see you bright and early in my office come Monday morning,” your father said.

Lewis took a deep breath and nodded. “Understood sir.”

The door closed and your eyes drifted back to your mother’s painting. You felt your father’s arms around you.

“She’d be proud of you. And so disappointed in myself.”

You turned to him. “Dad, you’re a victim in this. How were you to know? She played everyone.”

“I’m afraid to meet her again because I told her I’d protect you and look, I couldn’t.”

“Mom raised me with enough sense and all the tools to protect myself, plus with Hammond’s training, no one stands a chance—unless you’re a staircase. I think I may have broken a rib.”

Hammond laughed. “Let’s get you checked out. Come on,” he said as he got on your right with your father on the left. The two helped you hobble to the door.

“Lewis Hamilton, huh.”

You groaned totally not ready to have this candid conversation with him about your love life.

“He’s a little on the pretty side compared to your tastes. I have to admit I did not see that coming.”

You snorted then groaned as pain washed over you, “Neither did I, dad. Neither did I,” you said as you walked through the door and to the waiting car.

You knew this trip to the hospital was not going to be a quick in and out. You were close to crashing and honestly, you needed the rest. You were tired, your heart was tired—your soul was tired and ready to lay its burdens down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TagList:

@chaneajoyyy @caramara3 @valkryienymph @babyflowa07 @est1887 @halfrican-heat @mauvecherie-writes @nunya7394 @lovebittenbyevans @gardenwonders2 @sweetlikecoffy @dillie60 @ olabelle757 @ophiaedits @kenequa @triton08 @skyesthebomb @shipatheart @keytodespair @xsweetdellzx @labella420 @coldmuffinbanditshoe @ak329 @shar74nett @youremysuperstar @whore-like-behaviour

@alookintohersoul @asiaaisa77 @jd-now-jq @naturalthrone22      @mrsbarnes-rogers @beyourownkindofbeautiful @beccacupcakesxo @toni9 @wonderlandfandomkingdom @partypoison00 @queenoftheworldisdead @doublesidedscoobysnacks @sophiealiice @richonne4life @coffeebooksandfandom @siempremamita @raveviolet @dumbchick  @amennariee @briellableu @leebabe444 @31miw-inkpsycho

@rororo06 @disaster-rose @bugngiz @yourwonderbelle @queenbetter @melaninhawtie @bekindbecoolbeyou​ @heartfullofgolden @idkiwantchocolatee @missuniee @avngrsfangirl @a-highly-opinionated-mess @19jammmy ​@nunya7394 @eltima02 @motheroffae @luckydiorxoxo 

@majx00 @bbhyuneee @queenanababy @ravenqueen27 @multi-fandom5 @xsweetdellzx @bqueensweet @misswolff @g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e @blveeeeeee @majx00 @rowansshit @tian-monique

[wawamouse]

( @heffer-wen I was going to write a reply but got lazy about breaking up this word vomit into parts, so… new post!)

(Also… yeah, ace is probably what I was thinking last night (lmao… “business minded” 🤣) I think I do see him as some shade of asexual when it comes down to it)

More thoughts on Torquemada (aka Here’s How We Could Have Had It All)

I feel like I recall seeing some interview at one point where Fontana admitted that he didn’t have much of Oz thought out beyond s1 and a bit of s2, and for sure the later seasons get wacky but there’s still Something there with most of the little bits that end up in the show, imo. It’s mostly the execution that leaves something to be desired, like Fontana and the other writers (I'm not sure to what degree who writes what) didn't really have time to think out the story beats of the seasons or else didn't have time to come up with something better/do some editing. I said a while back (idr where/what post tho), but I think if Alonzo had been brought in earlier, a lot of the same s6 plotlines could have still been achieved while giving us more time to know him and make his appearance worthwhile. Like, first couple episodes after he’s introduced could’ve just been those in-betweener scenes where we see him settling into Oz and putting out feelers:

Interacting with the other Gays (more screen time for them at last??) and getting the lowdown on Oz; I have my other headcanon (based on the crowd scenes) that the Gays sometimes help the Latinos move tits, so maybe…

This would bring him toe to toe with Morales or at least have a chance to with him briefly while the former is on his way out; maybe Torquemada wants to bring his own expertise to the game and tries to talk business to Morales, who’s got other things on his mind and blows Alonzo off, or else puts Alonzo to task with finding out what’s going on with Redding, etc. I think Alonzo could handle himself here, as Redding is no threat at this point, but maybe the real question is whether or not he wants to try to conform and fit in under Morales’ control, which I think the answer would be no, meaning...

Seeing Alonzo ultimately decide to forge his own path to the top and take his sweet deal with Destiny to the Italians

Miguel’s + the other Latinos’ storylines could’ve been largely unchanged meanwhile. Obviously some shit from s6 would have to be sacrificed to accommodate expanding Torquemada's storyline but lbr, s6 had a lot of going-nowhere plotlines as well as storylines that couldve afforded to be much shorter, so there’s honestly plenty of fat to choose from when it comes to what to cut. And introducing Alonzo like this would’ve helped bring the Italians more into play in s6 (could've simultaneously explored a little bit of the post-Schibetta world of the Italians, or at least shown more fall out), as well as the gays. Canonically Alonzo comes in episode 7, and what I’m thinking is basically to bring him in on episode 3 or 4 (right after Said dies) (get rid of the ridiculous Idzik shit). With the 1 hour episodes, that would be plenty of time to start showing his rise to power. He could occasionally cross paths with other characters and get on their radar while creating small moments to plant the payoff of the canon e7 & e8.

I just feel like the pieces would fall into place in a much more satisfying way if we saw earlier on how Torquemada was quietly moving things in his own direction and being either underestimated or ignored due to characters being wrapped up in their own stories. He’d have been there the ~whole times~ and the show could’ve ended with his move to the top feeling more earned, with a little bit more of his potential as a kingpin explored and hinted at with the season finale. Again, it would also have been a good opportunity to explore the Gays in Oz and see how they fit in. Like I mentioned in my tags of the other post, I do think Torquemada would throw some of them under the bus/not care what happens to them once he gets his lmao.

(A s7/new post-canon tale of a subsequent downfall for Alonzo might concern itself mostly with hubris; burnt bridges and capricious impulses might leave no one in his corner if he did lose his footing and start to stumble… I think also him being queer and not just a ~fucker of men~ like Adebisi would motivate his enemies to unite to take him down more so than if he were anybody else.)

[mastersoftheair]

Sorry but am I the only one that thought that episode…sucked? Like it was straight up bad. Horrible pacing, no wrap up of all the random characters and plot lines they’ve thrown around all season (the tuskegee airmen, Westgates spying, literally all the guys beside like the main 4). (Seriously it makes me so mad that the three redtails got all of 5 seconds of screen time, almost no lines. Literally what was the point of introducing them other than to pretend the show was iNcLuSiVe) Even at the end of BoB and the Pacific you get a much better idea of what happened to all the remaining guys. In this they’re like what happened to DeMarco or Hambone or Brady or (insert character here) we don’t know! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ The concentration camp scene felt shoehorned in compared to how it was done in BoB. Unless that actually happened to Rosie (which i haven’t heard anything about) but it was just like.. ok? It all felt so rushed and emotionless to me. Maybe I’ve just fallen out of love with MoTA but it’s been downhill for me since episode 6 or so.

i already made a little (read: long) post-finale write-up here, where i talk about the use of the tuskegee airmen, l'sandra, and overall editing/pacing issues i felt the show had. but i don't agree with the notion that adding the redtails was in any way insincere or trying to halfass being "iNcLuSiVe", i just think they suffer from this show's obvious time constraints. and to summarize what i wrote in my linked post, there's a limit to what white writers/directors/producers can do when creating a story about black people. there are some stories i'd feel uncomfortable with them telling on their own, truth be told. dee rees wasn't the sole nonwhite director, but she Was the only black one. i think she did her job well given the limitations and i appreciate that they let her direct those episodes, rather than leaving it up to a team of white people trying their best to tell a black story.

the worst i can say about the finale is that it didn't feel like That strong of finale, tho i wouldn't go as far to say it "sucked" or call it "straight up bad". i liked it plenty, it's just the weakest of the hbo war finales imo.

as for the concentration camp scene, artistic license was taken with both shows. unlike what's seen in the BoB, easy company wasn't the first to arrive at kaufering, and there's 0 mention of the all-japanese american 552nd who helped them liberate it). similarly, rosie rosenthal did assist in liberating those camps, though it would've been after the events shown this episode. idk if he saw one in that up-close way seen in this episode, but he could've (i should research this when i have time). plus, it would've felt weird Not having him acknowledge them at all. "shoe-horned" is an odd term to use here imo, as both scenes more-or-less center a jewish character (BoB's liebgott and MotA's rosie). the former show has survivors the characters can help, the latter shows no one left to help. the former has all of easy company there, the latter has rosie there all alone. rosie's scene felt deeply personal in that way. at the end of the day, both scenes are communicating different things. that doesn't make one better than the other when they aren't trying to be identical. (disclaimer, i'm not jewish, so i'd be interesting hearing from the perspective of someone who wrt whether or not they felt it was "shoe-horned")

i can understand if you've disliked the show post-episode 6 (and episode 6 was a very strong episode i'm ngl). eps 7 and 8 were weaker in many ways, even to me, so i get it. everyone's entitled to their own opinion (i'd be a hypocrite saying otherwise). just understand that this blog is run by someone who overall enjoys this show despite its flaws! basically, i encourage you to take this energy and make your own posts.

[bernardellinewsagency]

can i interest you all in some gallayuan in these trying times? fr tho i cranked this out because you really do gotta create the content you wanna see in this world. it is literally just 600 words of only dialogue and as with many ideas of mine i didn't feel like writing out the background for this scenario so just use your imagination and extrapolation abilities. i believe in you :)

im also tired as fuck cause it's nearly 2am when im posting this and it's barely edited so you see mistakes or if it's barely comprehensible, um, pretend you don't, those are problems for future me. i'm just trying to get people to see my vision of these two being a ship okay? the words are just a vehicle to transport my meaning with.

"Sorry, I didn't realize there was anyone else here."

"Don't sweat it, honestly. Besides, I'm just passing through, finishing up some sightseeing here. Looks like you're pretty busy, so I'll leave and get outta your hair soon."

"Nonsense! A guest on the Luofu should be able to stay for as long as they wish."

"Ha, funny, I'm used to hearing the opposite of that. It's not exactly the opposite, I guess, but it's close enough."

"Did someone on the Luofu say something to you to the contrary? While it's not too often that a guest chooses to visit Fyxestroll Garden, it is safe to do so and the guards should not restrict anyone's comings and goings any longer. Or was it elsewhere? Do I need to speak to the Cloud Knights or the Commission about the behaviors they're displaying?"

"What? No, everyone's been kind and polite and all that. I came here from Penacony, so I'm used to hearing that everyone can stay only so long as they've got the money to do so. Ain't no rest for the poor, but plenty for the wicked, you know what I mean?"

"Ah, I suppose that I do. Some people never seem to get what they deserve."

"Sounds like you're speaking from personal experience."

"Does it? You know, many tourists tend to shy away from Fyxestroll Garden for the very reason that some specifically visit. It is a place to... let go. Release the dead so that they may move on, and you may do the same."

"Thinking you've already figured out I'm not returning to Penacony any time soon?"

"Call it just a hunch of mine."

"Well it's a damn good hunch, 'cause it's true. I was uh... involved, should I say, in some of the shit that went down. Couldn't stay there any longer. Not like I'm on the run or anything, not from anything other than the memories, it just became my time to move on and leave it behind."

"Ah, I thought I had seen something similar within you. So, if you're running from the past, what is it you're running toward?"

"What is this, an interrogation?"

"Call it humoring a new friend."

"Haha, alright. I will. I'm going to the same place we all are- the imperfect tomorrow."

"How poetic of you."

"I'm known for my wit on occasion. How about you? Do I also get an answer in return, new friend?"

"Call me Jing Yuan. I suppose that makes me a traveler in the opposite direction, then. Burn your memories and reach tomorrow, or cling to them and stay in the past."

"You say you're clinging to something, yet you're hanging around a place you said was for letting go? Put it together, sounds like you're just torturing yourself. I'm Gallagher, by the way."

"Simply honoring those I've lost, but- you're not entirely wrong. Say, this may be too presumptuous of me, but would you like to walk with me?"

"Where to?"

"Any sight in the Luofu you wish to see before you leave is open to you, even those which average people cannot access so long as I am there to allow you in. We may be headed in different directions with regards to philosophy, but let's allow our physical paths to cross for a while longer, shall we?"

"I'd be a fool not to take you up on that, Mister Jing Yuan. But first, let's stay here just a little bit longer. It really is a beautiful sight, and I think it's doing both of us some good."

[gilverrwrites]

Happy Birthday , I hope you have a wonderful day!!!

🎉🎂🎁🥳

How do you feel ?

I wish you the best and plenty of health!!!

I gift you this gif of Batman watching over you!

I also want to take this occasion to thank you for the fanfics that you released before your medical procedure. Bestie, you've been spoiling us!

Not to mention that they were ( as your work is) so well written! The Jason Todd touched starved one was like a Hug. I always love some comfort soft fics and you nailed them! Jason Todd being soft, loved and having affection towards him >>>>> Your characterisation of these fictional men that is so well done! The spicy Dick Grayson one was also super nice, the long story that we got with contextualization, him showing his sweet understanding side, him being accommodating with her, him respecting her boundaries and not having her feel negative things such as shame or judgement.

Ps: thanks for the health reminder, I truly need to take better care of myself and change my life habits. 💖😅

I swear to got I wrote and posted a whole as response to this, I even remember tagging it, wtf I have been so out of it.

Anyway, THANK YOU! My birthday was lovely, I appreaciate you asking. Although, like most of the last week I spent like 75% of it asleep, the specialist did not tell me how much the chemo would take out of me. I've had zero energy at all, if I'd awoken to find Batman watching over me I probably would have just passed out again none the wiser as opposed to shamelessly begging him for kisses. But there was cake!! Which is like the only thing I wanted so yay.

Seriously tho I appreciate you thinking of me while i've been recovering.

Also OMG thank you so much (again) I try so hard to get those men's personalities locked down. Thgere is almost certainly a lot of personal/fanon bias in there but oh well, if people like em, I muct be doing something right.

I hope you too have been getting a healthy amound ot rest and doing well yourself.

EDIT: omg I just realised what happen, I wrote thoe whole thing out and answered the wrong ask LMAO i was messed up

[a-mag-a-day]

MAG 92 - baking apple pie

HOLD ON! Is that operator and Chief Inspector Hannah "Laura Popham/Jane Prentiss/Rosie Zampano" Brankin and the officer on the phone Alexander J"ared Hopworth/Martin Blackwood" Newall??? The operator sounds fairly clearly and the officer just sounds like Alex disguising his voice to sound deeper (or it's just edited like with Jared). Not so sure about the Chief Inspector. It lists both of them as additional voices, so it's possible?

"My dear Jonah" - ¬‿¬

"I know that what is done by those I cannot see might be felt here" - clever, using a place of Beholding to uncover those turned invisible by the fog. So… Did Barnabas know what the Institute was? What Jonah could do?

ELIAS "No, it was because he was curious. Because he had to know, to watch and see it all. That’s what this place is, John, never forget it. You may believe yourself to have friends, to have confidantes, but in the end, all they are is something for you to watch, to know, and ultimately to discard. This, at least, Gertrude understood." - Jon did better! Jon tried to help and save every single one of them! And in the end, exactly this was his doom to become the Archive. Gertrude did let all her assistants die, let others do the dirty and deadly work, which prevented her to get marked be all the fears.

MARTIN "Uh, sorry to interrupt, er, J-Jon’s here!" - Awww, he sounds so happy about this!

ELIAS "Goodness, Jon. Whatever happened to your hand? And your neck?" - Letting us know that the blunt knife did actually do some damage. Also Elias sounds so bored here. I mean, of course he Knew what happened, but usually he puts in a bit more effort to sound surprised or concerned.

JON [Chuckles] "I’ve had a hell of a week." - Yeah you did. On this day Jon got marked by the Vast and the Hunt. And just 4 days ago he got marked by the Desolation. (It is a Friday btw. and he met Jude on Monday.)

DAISY "Before I strangle the grinning bastard." - Letting us know, that Elias finds this whole situation amusing…

Oh yes, the static's pretty loud when Jon consciously compels someone.

Even though Elias sounds amused about the feeling of the compulsion, he also sounds like it takes a bit of effort to resist it.

ELIAS "There’s so much of this place, of ourselves, twisted by forces far beyond us. I just wanted you to know –" - Okay, was he about to talk about the Web? Since he wanted the others to know that he was not controlled and acted of his own free will. And conveniently in this moment Martin retrieved the others and interrupts him! Another Web!Martin moment!

BASIRA "Ah… Oh, god! And you killed him? You sure we shouldn’t be giving him a medal?" - Lol. Nobody liked Leitner xD At least his reputation.

God, the others finding out what really happened to Sasha… Martin and Tim I mean, I guess Jon already told Melanie.

ELIAS "Precisely. It finally tried to kill John. Then Leitner killed it. Then I killed Leitner." - THIS is a huge clue that Elias can't see what happens inside the tunnels! He couldn't see what actually happened to the Not!Them and he also couldn't hear Leitner (because of his A Disapprearance tho) when he told Jon that he entombed it.

Ben makes such a good villain! That chuckle when he phone rings!

ELIAS "No, there are plenty of other rabid dogs out there, mad with the hunt." - Smirke'ian name of the Hunt first time drop!

Martin doubting the police would do something like this reminds me of that The Fresh Prince of Bel Air's episode where Carlton thinks the police was only "doing their job" when they stopped him and Will and threw them in jail. That naiveté of disbelief that people wouldn't take advantage of their power.

ELIAS "Basira is now tied to the Institute. All of you are. Like fingers on a hand. And I am the beating heart of it. Should I, or the Institute, be destroyed, you will all, unfortunately, follow suit." - When I was first listening to this I stormed out of the kitchen to the group of friends staying at our place (because we would go on vacation together the next day) and babbled something incoherent to them about OMG THEY CAN'T LEAVE OR THEY'LL ALL DIE!!!

ELIAS "To offer some congratulations. You’re doing a lot better than I expected." JON "Feels like all I’ve managed to do is… not die." ELIAS "And believe me, that is a remarkably rare skill." - It's kind of true. All Elias needed was for Jon not to die. Yet.

ELIAS "The easily-digestible sort that wipe away any doubt and fear, and neatly organise your new world into happy little" - DOORBELLS!

ELIAS "These are things you must discover on your own." - This and with his explanation of Leitner "Telling Jon too much too soon!!!" I thought was a bad excuse. Turns out later, it was and it was intended! It was just an excuse to get Jon marked. Something I first considered lazy writing suddenly turned into brilliant writing!

ELIAS "Precisely. It is your job to chronicle these things, to experience them, whether first-hand or through the eyes of others" - Jon theater-kid explanation.

JON "I never chose this." ELIAS "You never wanted this, no. But I’m afraid you absolutely did choose it. In a hundred ways, at a hundred thresholds, you pressed on. You sought knowledge relentlessly, and you always chose to see. Our world is made of choices, John, and very rarely do we truly know what any of them mean, but we make them nonetheless." - Elias kinda gaslighting Jon here? How can it be choice if we don't know, what it means. When we don't even know there was a choice. That's kind of a philosophical question here that everyone can see differently… Also door motif!

ELIAS "I could. But I believe that if I did so, you would fail. The Stranger is antithetical to us. We thrive on ceaseless watching, on knowing too much. What we face is the hidden, the uncanny, and the unknown. If you are to stop them, you need to get better at seeing." - Ok that one actually does make sense. But I believe that in this instance Elias was also genuine and not making excuses to get Jon marked. Not directly at least. He needs him to survive death.

The explanation of the Unknowing, what it is and does was also pretty mind-blowing for me the first time listening.

Jon lingering to ask if he's still human is so sad…

Even though Elias does sound like an absolute villain, grooming Jon into horrible things, I was still not entirely convinced Elias is the super bad when I was first listening. He does want to stop the Unknowing after all.

Elias' ambiguous villainy and obvious asshole-ness was performed so well in this episode

[weaselle]

sure i have more than 20 tabs open right now, which is, i’ll grant you, madness. HOWEVER

the difference between genius and madness is method, and you can bet that i have one.

the last tab is for instant look up - see, this prevents me from simply opening up a new tab, because if i allowed myself to open up a tab just anyol’time i felt like it, why, i’d have more tabs open than the number people who’ve commented “children’s hospital” under a pic of smeary red decor.

No if i am seized by curiosity about how quickly the Indian subcontinent is still moving to this day after hauling ass up the east coast of Africa and slamming into place (tru story) or if i suddenly need to know how quickly fingernails grow (the answer to both is about an inch every ten months)

when i need to know i go to the last tab in my lineup, still open from looking up exactly what is at the center of our spiral galaxy that we are all orbiting (it’s a supermassive black hole equal in mass to about 4 million suns, which makes it sort of medium-small as supermassive black holes go)

and i use that last open tab for whatever search. About half my open tabs will be links found from previous searches. 90% of my tabs will be created by clicking “open in new tab” on a link. I’ll often search a term, open tabs off the 3 or 6 most promising results, and then click through them to see if I got something good, close the ones that aren’t what i’m looking for. Repeat as needed. Then i do a detailed read on the most promising tab and maybe one or two more, close them, and that often leaves one or two that at first glance seemed like they were either worth coming back to, or they answer a question i suspect i may have a few more steps down the rabbit hole

or sometimes i just need to know who a celebrity or politician is so i can understand a joke and it’s a one and done search, tho, occasionally one of these will become its own rabbit hole.

So anyway, every time i do a search, i have to start on an already-open tab. I have to look a tab in the eye and say, yeah, i want to know this new thing more than i want to keep you, which helps prevent critical tab mass.

as my tab field sprouts, i periodically weed it, going through and assessing - am i still interested in this? if not, i close it, if yes i leave it open; for now. Eventually this leaves a little group of things i have consistently, not spontaneously, found to be of interest, and, during those rare times i don’t have plenty of mental moles to whack, i’ll go through and read them all, like a little personalized newspaper, edited to be perfect for specifically me.

hey did you know that we are closer related to chimpanzees than foxes are to wolves (and therefore dogs)? If somebody ever tells you they have a dog that is part fox, they are lying or were lied to. 

[almalvo]

STAR TREK: DISCOVERY | S1E8 "Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum"

[I will react to each episode individually and in full, raw reception and then post as is unrevised here onto my tumblr for the full span of every and all NuTrek episodes and series that have been and will be released. If this falls under your field of interest - I welcome your company in joining me. Enjoy the ride.] -------

"High Ranking Vulcan". heh. This intro though - it jkust makes me wonder the sheer potential of what couldve been for Trek. Bryan Fuller made a masterpiece called Hannibal. Not too sure on his hand in Trek - imho, it doesnt compare. ANYways. ugh i love seeing hte discovery warp downwards like that Owosekun - love her name such nice colours. consistenty good colours in this show for sure. i like how goldy inside the bridge is oh interesting. what an odd source of warp power its insanely cool though. that CANT be good for stamets. is that foreshadowing did you call her what she will become damn stamets can you be like idk a bit likeable tho please. like plenty of characters who are catty af but likeable in some way if even 1%. ugh. hi tribble. keep tribblin OO SO BLUEEEE SO PRETTYYY This is so weird to me in how this show literally comes out 2 years AFTER AOS3 in terms of production quality.

very pretty landscapes though Saru. aint no way you walkin this terrain with them feets of yours love the trees. saru is so scrawnyyy Saru literally looks amazing in any lighting no joke damn classic trek mist creature living rorschach blot Kol is so cool looking those red accents work beautifully on his face

such lovely colour grading everyones GLOWINGGG there are certainly some wonderful visuals in this show ughhhh Saru, the dust speaker is that a klingon archery set what is that HAHA i wish nah its a torture kit sorry cornwell yelling like that was kind of cringe lolll this pretty blue dust dome that ash and burnham are in is so pretty ugh something im gonna just never take seriously, "Ash x Burnham" nah get out yeah yeah however, Kirk delivered this line beyond any other human's capacity what an empty ass kiss god its so forced. another huge problem with this show is they treat these characters like we know them already but bruh everyone feels so much the stranger to me, even though we are past the halfway point of season 1. is just so weird. i am not invested in like any character, even ones i really thought i would/wanted to be but its liek the show takes them away from me i like how the klingons have a definite accent when they speak terran now L'Rell is so striking looking i love her eyes such a piercing look

see like i WANT to like this away party but like i kind of dont have any real reason to like any of these characters especially with the utter animosity stuff that never got really properly resolved. like between saru and burnham. it feels almost uncomfortable. to me the viewer watching from outside ofc. thats a really pretty flower i dont like this film style it feels too tacky so many stupid zooms so cheap feeling it feels like star trek, Teen Wolf edition. literally feels like its filmed int he same way as things like Teen Wolf that were almost 10 years earlier. its so janky. zero patience and sense to appreciate the scene itself without all this ridiculous cinematic embellishment. its so unnecessary. if even this show did this less, this show would legitimately be 7x better. saru looks so beautiful with that warm white rear light this is such a gorgeous instance of practical effects and they got the PERFECT actor to don saru Ash looks like someone ive literally known in my own life 😭 i love these red jewels on L'Rell's armour/clothing costume and design department did a great great job in this show's production - i have no beef with them.

i like saru's mouth shape its so odd. idk why i feel so detached from this show. oh dang angry saru. ferocious oml yo these are such pretty crystals] saru running in THOSE? HAAHAHAH damn had to CG him hahah that one camera shot was funny though it almost looked like the show said "yes. he can run in these". lol oh damn convincing gore i like how we continue seeing blood in trek with DISCO when i t really started in Enterprise. oh shit ANGRY SARU BRUH HE BACKKICKED HER LIKE A HORSE this stick man being so strong the way hes breaking that device literally looks like classic trek style bundle two hands together and bash DBZ style XD

really pretty tree thing though oooo the transporter circles at the bottom look SOO nice dude look at his detail up close its fucking amazing oh my god such masterfully done painting speckling im genuinely impressed damn, im sorry saru. though i think, who DOES live without fear. man costume design is wonderful. these red markings are really good they compliment their faces really well This is so odd. I have NEVER had this kind of feeling of "detachment" from a Trek production before. The fuck is happening. Ugh.

Not liking Bryan Fuller x Alex Kurtzman directing style in this show, like, at all.

I am just waiting for when this show gets better.

Cuz it's lost a lot of my anticipation.

We'll see. Hopefully.

[anotherghoul666]

Ask game! I'm being nosey, you can pick and choose if this is too many! 💙💙💙

07: What did you last eat?

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

56: How many people have you fist fought?

57: Do you believe in true love?

Please, you can be as nosey as you want to be with me! ❤️

07: What did you last eat? Some christmas dinner leftovers from my life partner's family! There was a sort of pastry crown filled with veggies, deviled eggs, meatballs in a tomato sauce, little sausages in a garlic sauce, and rolled sandwiches :) I'm also 2.5 water bottles in out of my 4 for the day! (edit: 3 by the time I'm done writing this, woot!)

17: Ever made out in the bathroom? Oh sure! When I was a teen we'd sneak off to the gym locker room and bathrooms to make out cause we had nowhere else to go do that in XD One of the reasons me and my partner rent in our current place is cause the bathroom is huge and there's a massive corner bath in there (don't ask me how we got so lucky, we signed pre-pandemic and we're never leaving until we get a house) so that's a regular play space for us which includes making out hahaha. I've not done the whole "so overtaken by passion we gota stumble in a public bathroom stall in the club and have it right there" cliché tho XD

23: Do you have piercings? How many? I have 3 in my right ear. I got he first two at the same time at 15, it went horribly wrong, I got the third one maybe a year later to see if I could change my healing methods and have an easier time, it went even more horribly wrong and re-infected the first two, I fucking managed to heal them with the help of my professionals but like, I learned my lesson. My body hates the process of piercings and healing them. Probably some sensitivity or allergy since I am allergic to half of the world basically. I've found my body heals tattoos very well instead so that's the route I took!

56: How many people have you fist fought? So I'll assume this is a question about legit fights and not rough body play / impact? XD I have gotten beat up before, but I've never punched someone or laid a hand on someone non-consensually. I'll take hits and get someone else to take care of the attacker, ideally someone that's legally permitted to do that and paid for it, before I'd ever lift a hand to punch. Not in my nature.

57: Do you believe in true love? This ties in with an earlier question I got about soulmates somewhat but, what does "true" mean in that context. People use that expression to mean "the one true person you'll have true love with in your life" as opposed to everyone else you had feelings for before, and I reject that thought. I believe in love. I believe in abundance and in the plenty. I believe feelings are true because they are felt, emotions are valid because they exist, and so every spike and shred and blip of love I've ever felt has been true for me in that moment and for the whole universe because I am part of it and I am real. Love is true because it is in that moment and if in the moment after it's withered or tempered or false or painful it was still true when it bloomed.

Thank you Mibo those were wonderful!! :D

[therainbowgorilla]

I wouldn't consider myself "moderate" in any way, but I do suppose that that might depend on how that is defined outside of the US? Since the US is apparently wack when it comes to political party definitions compared to a lot of the rest of the world or smthn, if that makes sense.

Politically, I see myself as a leftist. Now, my ideal is definitely some form of communism (I haven't really figured out if it's any specific form of it), but getting there where I live within my lifetime seems like too big a goal at once. In order to get to the point where the next generations may reach that future, I believe the first step should be something we believe might could reasonably be achieved or get quite near to within our lifetimes. A step at a time sort of thing.

I have no real hopes as of yet that the US will achieve any form of communism within my lifetime. Even if we attempted to throw some form of revolution, I doubt it would result in communism. I mean, the government literally has all kinds of things that could literally kill uprisers in their tracks. I think such a revolution would risk a massacre. We've seen how the police and military have no qualms against killing people who disagree with them.

So to get more to the point, my ideal is communism, but my practical goal is... I believe the term is democratic socialist? There's so many political terms that I get confused, but basically if you've ever watched Hannah&Jake (who used to run "The Bible Reloaded") or ActualJake (Jake's own account), those two are good references for what politics I believe in.

Whilst I wouldn't mind being educated more on your worldview and the different types of communism, anarchism, and how those two could work together, my ADHD does make articles hard to read. If you have any recommendations in audiobook or youtuber forms though, I'd definitely consider it.

... A Special Interest, you say? Well you've come to just the right fuckin place!

Occasionally, I run a "show" on my twitch (I guess it'd technically be sorta like a video podcast?) where fellow ND people come on, and for as long as they want they can infodump and rant their hearts out to me about their special interests, hyperfixations, passions, etc. Some guests do powerpoints, some just write themselves an outline to follow, some show me physical stuff if they want (like the "3D Printing" guest who showed me their prints), or it could be just a free form talk, or really whatever you want! It doesn't particularly matter.

The show typically runs up to (but doesn't have to be) 4 hours per show, but I welcome repeat guests!

You have to have a mic, but you do not have to have a camera on if you don't want to (I don't show my face myself).

I'm trying to edit the previous "episodes" to upload to youtube, it's just taking forever since they're long lol

But they're a lot of fun to do!

And trust me, it's not annoying to me to hear others infodump. It's the point of the show! I looooove hearing people passionately talk about shit! Their enthusiasm tends to rub off on me, so it can be a ton of fun to me!

Episodes I've had so far: History of Opera (part 0, lost episode), 3D Printing, History of Opera 2:Electric Boogaloo (a 2-part remake with much more info), and a type of Vision Disability (I forget the name of the specific one)!

The way it works is through Discord call usually, but I'm also fine with Zoom, Skype, Hangouts, etc!

I've got plenty of free time coming up the next few weeks on any day during the afternoon/evening/night EST, so if you're interested in guesting, lmk! If you need a later date than that tho I'm sure we can work something out! If you have a discord lmk and I'll send u my discord name so we can talk there!

I think I learn a lot better with someone directly telling me about it, so this could be really educational!

if any minors are following me

always make sure to start forging parents' signatures on the first day of class. that way, your teachers won't know that you've been forging signatures for the rest of the year

[ovaryacted]

Questions 3 and 30 for the ask game <3

Also hiiiii nic, how've you been? 🩷🩷 I'm so glad the ask box is open again. I hope you are feeling better since you said you were really busy a while ago, if I remember correctly?

Also OH MY GOD THEY WEREN'T KIDDING WHEN THEY SAID COLLEGE LIFE WAS WILDD 😭😭 ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO DATING 💀 tell me why I met this boy and got into a relationship with him after an embarassingly short amount of time, then he lovebombed me, had a mental breakdown, got bored and attempted to fake his own death 😭😭 safe to say we're over, though I'm still a little worried about his mental health lmaoo. It's a shame though, I thought I met my brunette version of Leon Kennedy irl, he was really sweet and dorky and all I could ask for. But whatever, life goes on. I think I might quit dating real men until I graduate tho 💀💀 Leon and Chris it is until then!

Sorry if this felt like a rant, but it was too hilarious not to share 😭😭 I hope you're having better luck with real men than I am nic 🥲 it's okay tho, who needs some crazy Texan nerd when Leon Scott Kennedy is right there?

Also, if you have any vague details to share about your upcoming fics, please do! I always stalk your blog for updates, your writing is just that good!! I can be patient though, no pressure. I hope you're having lovely writing time :3

Take care pookie, sending lots of love <3

-🌑

writer ask game

Omg hey new moon anon! It's always so nice to hear from you. 🫶 I'm doing alright for the most part, dealing with migraines so that's fun but I'm handling it. I hope you're doing good too. And yeah, I was busy and a little burnt out from answering all of those asks for like a week straight so I closed my ask box to regroup, but I'm more energetic now so that's good!

#3. how do you feel about your current WIP?

Oh my current WIP is a pain in the ass LMAOO. I've been working on it for like a month on and off and I'm about to revisit it today and re-edit it completely. Sometimes I think I overstress myself about writing certain things because I'm a perfectionist and want to put out stuff that I am happy with, but I'm really hoping I get this done. It's the first chapter of my series, which is hilarious cause I've been drafting this idea out for like 6 months and I still haven't uploaded it. I will though, eventually, I'm just scared about putting it out into the world since it's something I've planned so thoroughly.

#30. share a fic you're especially proud of

I believe I've answered this already but definitely One Of Those Days simply because of how cohesive it is and how easy it was to write. It's one of my favorite things that I've written, and because lord knows I want a dilf to take care of me after a stressful day so it's personal.

Now college boys? Babe, as someone older I'm going to tell you, stay away from them boys at school. Obviously, have fun and be safe duh, but don't let these LEWSERS derail you from your education. I'm sorry that happened though seriously, being lovebombed is the absolute worst thing ever, but he sounds crazy for that like. Don't think that what happened determines your worth romantically, believe me, you will be okay. <3

As for me? I haven't had a man within 6 feet of me in 2 years by choice HAHA. They just get dumber and dumber and frankly I don't want to be stressed so I choose to keep my peace, I can't deal with another dating horror story and trust me I've had plenty. Celibacy does get annoying though, I feel like as you get older, your hormones get out of wack and every ovulation cycle gets more intense. I'm literally at my limit but I'm trying to stay strong and not let the voices get to me. May break my celibacy this summer, I'm feeling reckless, but nobody is a #realfucker like me so I'd rather save myself the dissapointment. Sadly, real men are nothing like the fictional ones we all thirst over, so we must all suffer booo.

And as for my fic ideas, I have a lot written down and I'm actually deviating from Leon Kennedy because I'm fixating over Chris Redfield so I'll tell you some of the things I want to write for him in particular!

Essentially, I have a DDLG fic idea I want to crank out with Chris and it kind of extended to me wanting to create a mini universe of Chris and his sub partner just navigating life and learning more about kinks and how to grow in a dom/sub dynamic. I originally wanted to do that with Leon, but the ideas I had just didn't fit his characterization naturally in my head, it felt forced. And now that I've been doing a fuck ton of character analysis and plotting with Chris, my brain changed and everything that didn't fit Leon fits Chris in my head (because they're foils of each other). So yeah, I'm definitely planning on doing that, probably several different one shots about Chris and his gf in a dom/sub partnership and how they explore it together, and they can all be read as stand-alones or in the same "universe" type of deal.

I'm still hesitant cause of how people think about DDLG as a whole and how they view Chris, but I'm just learning to not give a fuck anymore and post it anyway. :)

[castle-dominion]

5x13 recoil

OOH PLOT HEAVY

I love the editing in the clips here, we get the info we need, but also while I'm sure we all remember that some ppl were killed, like roy montgomery, we also get to see the dramatic clip of him getting shot & lockwood with blood on his face & these things are mostly for the drama, not the recap, really really well done bc we still get the recap.

I also like how she hits him immediately after he says he has the power.

Garbage can fire babey. gonna be a dead body. See? Plenty of people throw up when they see (& probs smell) a dead body burning!

RC: Well, I haven’t met him or approved of him yet, so it can’t be serious. All suitors must be met and intimidated by me personally before they can be considered for official boyfriend status. So true

Ew yucky

no dental records then... Ryan looks nice lol. & esposito's jacket is nice

Ryan pretty but meh. Esposito perfectly fine but meh Castle also pretty enough. Becks looks shiny shirt dc!? multiple times in just 20m? Might as well stay on the line.

Why would the boyf have an unlisted number? oh no ooof oof oof ooooooof she left a message hhhh

the phone falls & clatters... oof that is the best... except how would she end the recording? AFTER the phone clatters? the audio changes during "happens" like she moved to a different area, or passed a wall

Yeah smth falls & then like a ring hits the wall zippo? Or maybe he was ALREADY burning the body

Yeah lol u can't remember ppl when you are seeing a hundred a night, or more. unless she comes here often! She was a high end prostitute! BRACKEN? oh of course it was him, this is a plot heavy ep.

No wonder the phone call. & also dealt with OTHER people too! He did not just kill melanie & johanna & attempt beckett, & also raglan & montgomery & mccallister & possibly those other two lawyers or whoever beckett nice coat lol.

ESPOSITO NICE JACKET (& nice scarf on ryan) JE: You know, I was really hoping the next time I saw this guy would be down the barrel of my gun.

*fidgeting with his hand hanging by his legs* Met her there works for you non-paid consultant *stops* I know where I've seen you. I can't believe that he doesn't already have pics of beckett's close circles: friends, work, family,, gym

of COURSE he wouldn't do it himself! Ooh y'all got the fbi to do analysis? Nice! My grampa was able to tell what car, make model, year, idk, just by the sound of the engine.

Why do they need sirens on? They Ooh audio. Echo, loud, yells, I love it when ryan yells beckett's name. Why would they draw a diagram of the gun & do that sort of thing?

I thought beckett was ryan for a sec. That shiny suit jacket, I loved it, really shows off her waist. Then I realized ryan is amab he does not have a waist that small. Becks looks great tho & I like her with her hair back like that. Castle's red jacket & dark shirt are nice too & gates looks good with her red shirt adding colour from behind her black jacket/cardigan. Oh & ryan! light purple shirt with a square pattern (love that for ryan), dark thin tie (I'd call it black but it is not that dark) with multicoloured tiny equally sized polka dots, vest, ooh he's good. I grabbed a pic but idk if it is any good. at least I got a pic of beckett. Update from later in the episode: HIS WAISTCOAT HAS A SHINY SILVERY BACK PANEL SDLKFKSJFDLSKJF & it is tied in such a way that it hugs his hips man I'm such a lesbian fot him (both men) sounds like a disguise bright red shiny tie, really pops

this guy is assassinating him. that's why he insists that the senator goes. Gates my beloved Man has a jacket AND a coat. At least they are different colours

ugh the way she gestures for him to take a seat hhhhh so gooooood KB: Senator Bracken, do you have any enemies? Is there anyone you can think of that would like to kill you? cough cough WB: A man doesn’t get to my position without upsetting people along the way. Most of them aren’t crazy enough to want to kill me. (he gestures) Present company excluded.

JE: I’ll tell you something. If I’m her, I sit in there shuffling papers until whoever it is puts a bullet in Bracken’s head. KR: KR: No you wouldn’t. Because that would make you no better than he is. (well you are just not changing the trolley path. He's the one who tied people to it.) JE: The guy murdered Beckett’s mother. Captain Montgomery. Who knows who else?. ((exactly!)) Bracken’s got it coming to him. So I say let it come. KR: *uncomfy* I mean just two episodes ago esposito threatened to kill someone.

Nice pattern on esposito's shirt. Not an actual pattern, just the weave of it making it textured almost like heather. 24 hours exactly?

RC: Man, these people need to get a life. Most of these guys it seems like their only companionship is the space alien that talks to them through their microwave. *coincidentally finds the letter just as she says that* RC: No, I did actually. I liked the way you uh, dotted the ‘I’ in kill with a little heart. It was a nice touch. Oh yeah chinese food babey Man doesn't take his mug to the break room to wash it?? wait it was not the same writing my bad. it is all caps... In fact, it is the same letter, it was a rough draft.

Senator Bracken When you sleep at night do you dream of the blood dripping off your hands leaking into the ground filling up the valleys and the craters with new lakes and oceans lake hemoglobins the red ocean rivers of blood or do you drift away to some peaceful place unburdened by the endless bodies piling on your shoulders always more bodies never ending as you count the sheep dancing over fences but it isn't the sheep that calm your icy nerves it is their destination as they leap the fence toward the slaug//hter how their bleats and screams must fill that cavity in your chest where a heart should be with bostalgic joy for the suffering you have caused so many he was a boy a precious boy so filled with hope and aspirations and you took that in and you fed on him that boy my boy in the lion's den there is no way to avoid the night calls and the roats of the fearsome loathsome ((cut off)) ((Not going back to change typos; I touch typed this & my touch typing needs work))

Ooh the music also it is late she managed an appointment at this time of night? Are you sure that he is much worse? The one you can live with oof burning...

Coffee <3 Ryan looks nice, his clothes are dark which is less common. espt is wearing some kind of zip up hoodie like that's professional. Becks nice brown leather jacket with a good shape to it. "nothing significant"

Seeing gates with the half sister she kept the eltter phew

Why is castle Sitting at ryan's desk & then ryan leaning over castle pointing the stuff out to him? *interrupts* *looks at the letter while walking back & giving directions*

JE: I’m pretty sure we left Patterson five shops ago. *smacks the badge on the door* "How you doing?" McManus

Ryan looking like my hair lol

*sees him* Oh ooh ooh ooh it's him *shoots just a bit late*

No, castle. She did not miss. (tho it's kind of messed up that when they think that this fellow is an assassin you're allowed to shoot them...) you didn't & that's the good part. *hides her tears*

Not only do you know him but you also looked into him so you know about him. People say ryan is the touchy feely one in terms of emotions & yeah he himself acknowledged the cheesiness of the toast he was giving at the double date last season but esposito is the one to approach kate & talk to her.

She's good She's revealing that!? don't you remember what happened last time you revealed personal information without knowing who is behind the glass? gates is a cop tho, she was a detective, she does interrogations, she can see becks is truthing this room is so big & empty, DP did well. he DOES control everyone lol robert points to three people behind the glass lol, he can't see them blood on OUR hands. She's right, it is in hers bc she let him go! Except if she shot him he would not be available for questioning he might even be dead.

Oh thank goodness, we all thought gates was talking to her about That

What did you say that was right about her?

RC: Check this out. What better way to celebrate the end of a difficult case then with a bottle of – (he trails off when he sees her work) – what are you doing? YEAH NO IF HE'S OFF HIS MEDS THAT AIN'T GOOD KB: And what about Melanie’s body? He burned it and he knocked out her teeth to keep it unidentifiable. Me: Schiz often comes with paranoia, he wanted to be safe KB: And then he leaves a duffle bag in a stolen car for us to find? Me: ... That is not very meticulous of him......

I don't (usually) smoke & I still have a lighter & matchbook music hhh not ALL the evidence, remember? Right, people OFTEN believe that the psychoaffected people don't know what they're doing or are dangerous or planted the bomb, nobody would look further into it

If you're right then you have gained his trust back. 41319 is her badge # btw

secondary area search? man is upset. He lost his temper, this is not normal.

THE LIGHTER I play with em like that too lol WHAT IF THE LIGHTER IS A DETONATOR btw I was right! It IS the assistant person (no they are both just nondescript white guys)

He was BESIDE the car, even if beckett was NOT there he would have been fine

Castle just TACKLED that guy

Five years, long play. Or paid money lol CASTLE ADMITTING HE WOULD HAVE STOOD & WATCHED

Ryan nice light grey jacket, pink shirt, possibly striped, dark tie to contrast, ugh he's so good. Esposito just wearing the kind of "I'm at home today" clothes I wear "just like you would have done" WB: Someone who’s gotten rich making powerful people promises that I need to keep. ((PARDON ME?)) What does a kingmaker do when the king no longer follows orders?

WB: You saved my life. KB: (rolls her eyes) Yeah well, you can’t win ‘em all, can you? a friend? He's right when he says "If I said no, would you really believe me?"

Nice transition to watching tv at home Benjamin Moss? Ah kingmaker. "plane crash" or "car accident" better story. oof.

Wow I'm half an hour ahead of schedule! I started watching at 9.30, so I should have been done the day's first ep by 11 but I was 20m early, now I should have been done by 12.30 & it is only five after, I'm doing well!

[baekhvuns]

That Arsenal fan lawyer is me actually. I studied law for 1 year, I'm qualified enough 👀 Ancelotti 🍅🍅🍅🍅 get off the stage!!! My eyes are closed I refuse to see RM's stats....

Uhm I dislike Neymar, but what is this, a club acting like a bunch of bullies? Frenchies are back at it again. PSG isn't relevant enough for them to be that arrogant!

"they could unearth atlantis. they just choose not to. respect." true actually. Thankfully that photo isn't exclusive and I love that they use 🍙 for MBAPpe lmao, very kpop stan behaviour

Bestie you should be a Gooner already! Repeat after me "London is red". So many MU fans are against Gr**nw**d and Nike dropped him as well. He should go to Al Nassr, they probably don't give a fuck or maybe China. 💀

My friend won a London fan sign, she's not going to the concert though lmao. At least she has that, so I'm not mad at her! And Valenteez? Oh that Kaura thing had NFTs, hopefully there won't be any included this time....

If anyone comes for you for writing Seonghwa only I'll personally beat them up 🥰 plenty of people exclusively write for specific people, characters or ships and that's totally fine.

Take this quiz! I got Delancey

I feel so proud of the Skins cast, I grew up with them, and yes Dev, have you seen The Green Knight? I also used to live close to miss Kaya (she's an Arsenal fan too and we would see each other at the local pub). Lmao not PENG 😭 I don't say naur either, but I drink tea a lot, it has nothing to do with the UK though, I've drank gallons of tea since I was a child

Ewww I can imagine the body swap went into the worst direction in the Ryan movie, creepy shit. I read some reviews....

One thing about me is I'll choose a fictional cartoon man over a real one 😅 Tasir ❤

Boxer would get his hands bruised so easily, rip to that man! Y/N needs to mummify him

We still have no idea what's going on with Lookass, Chris Lee you fucking bitch. But Lee Sue Man??? huh how about he sues himself

Oh no wtf I had no idea Canadian schools were as bad as American ones :( I sincerely hope Mnet won't evil edit Hui or anyone... these poor guys have been humiliated enough

Wait Y/N and Hwa went to high school together in Mr & Mrs Park? I had no idea, I'm a fake Baeksussy fan.

Baekhyun looks cute, I'm glad he's back! TY the number 1 simp, he's the true user baekhvuns. And I heard Psycho, yes!

Someone said Seonghwa in the Spin Off video looked like a thundere LI in a fantasy movie, agreed <3

A much better version of Timothee akshuajaajhshsabsha. Yes Tamino is actual GOD, such a beautiful human and his deep voice ❤ ooohhh Baek I had no idea I'd awaken something in you 👁👁 perhaps his songs will inspire you to write! I'll let you know how he was in concert, I saw him once before, but sadly I was pretty sick that day so I couldn't enjoy it fully 😐 His cover of AM fucks too

They ditched my girl Kira even though she was the most relevant to the movie plot??? Fuck those werewolves! But no wonder, they didn't pay the actress enough (ekhm racist). What's the name of your avo baby?

Everyone's saying 2pm for the sex story thing?! An hour...god!?!?! Watch the story be fake though

Remember him 😭😭😭😭 - DV 💖

hello!!

That Arsenal fan lawyer is me actually. I studied law for 1 year, I'm qualified enough 👀 Ancelotti 🍅🍅🍅🍅 get off the stage!!! My eyes are closed I refuse to see RM's stats.... /// Uhm I dislike Neymar, but what is this, a club acting like a bunch of bullies? Frenchies are back at it again. PSG isn't relevant enough for them to be that arrogant!

LMFAOOO GET OUT WHDHDJCICJCK you in court “your honour, i have receipts to back my evidence up actually! going to eat my walls if he denies it tho!”

i will do the courtesy of showing the stats ☺️

i do be blaming it on ancelotti not putting vini in a better position to utilize his skills previously, he was on top of the world and now suddenly it died down 😭😭

yEAAAHH they have been doing this to both messi neymar and even verratti, booing them on pitch and their families! i think once it was messi’s wife w kids in the stadium it happened,, no srs they put psg on the map 😭 idk how much patience that man got but if it were me,,, on SIGHT! ON SIGHT SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN BESTIES!

"they could unearth atlantis. they just choose not to. respect." true actually. Thankfully that photo isn't exclusive and I love that they use 🍙 for MBAPpe lmao, very kpop stan behaviour

WAIT THATS SO TRUE 😭😭😭 utmost respect to them, tbh if kpop fans collectively got together they’d end up digging cleopatra’s tomb,,, LMFAOOO THE 🍙 IS SO CUTE AND FUNNY baby mbappe was rly cute,,, if he joined bubble 😭😭😭 his representative emojis is 🍙 😭😭

🍙: hello y/n!!!

i finished my training!!!

did you think of me???

thinking of you y/n 💖!!

Bestie you should be a Gooner already! Repeat after me "London is red". So many MU fans are against Gr**nw**d and Nike dropped him as well. He should go to Al Nassr, they probably don't give a fuck or maybe China. 💀

LONDON IS RED IM WAITING FOR IT TO BE BLUE IDC 😭😭😭 man utd fans for the first time have some brain cells and collectively hold someone accountable is so wild to me, never thought i’d see it,,, FJWVDJWHKCK doubt the chinese would take that mf in 😭😭 he should just go look for another career oh wait! how can he bdnwbddo i genuinely wonder how hard it is for football players to act decent, play ur game and go back to ur family quietly 😭😭

and spurs have been on a roll?? kane’s revival arc!

My friend won a London fan sign, she's not going to the concert though lmao. At least she has that, so I'm not mad at her! And Valenteez? Oh that Kaura thing had NFTs, hopefully there won't be any included this time....

that is very acceptable, crossed out the concert experience 🤚🏻OH THATS KAURA?? 😬😬😬 it better be some pieces of printed cardboard of his face and not some email confirmation 😭😭

If anyone comes for you for writing Seonghwa only I'll personally beat them up 🥰 plenty of people exclusively write for specific people, characters or ships and that's totally fine. /// Take this quiz! I got Delancey

tHANK YOU i would love to name drop but i will hold my silence fbwnbdnjc <33 right! writing for one person is completely fine but some people 🔫✨🔫✨✨🔫 omg delancey i haven’t heard that name since charm school, i got madison!! speaking of uquiz here’s one!

I feel so proud of the Skins cast, I grew up with them, and yes Dev, have you seen The Green Knight? I also used to live close to miss Kaya (she's an Arsenal fan too and we would see each other at the local pub). Lmao not PENG 😭 I don't say naur either, but I drink tea a lot, it has nothing to do with the UK though, I've drank gallons of tea since I was a child

I HAVE SEEN IT! what an art this man is,, his work selection is amazing! NO WAY FBWMDJWK ANON BAG HER AUTOGRAPH FOR ME PLS I GO A LIL 😵‍💫😵‍💫 WHEN I SEE HER IN THE MAZE RUNNER SERIES ☺️☺️ NO DO U SAY PENG JDVWBDBC OR LENG,, you’ve drank everything except water since u were a child what is this anon 🤨

Ewww I can imagine the body swap went into the worst direction in the Ryan movie, creepy shit. I read some reviews.... /// One thing about me is I'll choose a fictional cartoon man over a real one 😅 Tasir ❤

yEAAAAH it was like dad/lawyer vs unhinged best friend (ryan) who’s single and they body swapped the night they peed in a fountain together 😭😭😭 and ryan has to go be a lawyer and the lawyer has to take up the acting gig ryan had and it’s just a porno 😭😭 so ur saying no seonghwa only tasir? nO SOOHYUK? ALRIGHT AND 20 YEARS TO HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS????? 😭😭😭

Boxer would get his hands bruised so easily, rip to that man! Y/N needs to mummify him /// We still have no idea what's going on with Lookass, Chris Lee you fucking bitch. But Lee Sue Man??? huh how about he sues himself

y/n on her way with the pointe ballerina shoes to save the poor guy <33 NOOOO BC CHRIS LEE IS ABOUT TO GET HIS ASS HANDED BACK TO HIM so basically! sm’s board directors + chris lee tried to push lsm away basically ask him to leave all together that’s why bro’s been in the states and arrived like a day ago

what sm did is that lee soo man didn’t give any of his shares to kakao ent (they tried to have sm’s share to take over them) and intrusted the shares with his nephew (chris lee) who went behind his back sold them! CHRIS LEE JAIL ERAAAAAAA

not the karina signs??? chris lee drops to a new low everyday

Oh no wtf I had no idea Canadian schools were as bad as American ones :( I sincerely hope Mnet won't evil edit Hui or anyone... these poor guys have been humiliated enough

yeah! tho most of it confined to one side of the city after rona tho it def got bitter, out downtown is in shambles and the police are trying their best to handle it so hopefully before the wc happens the thing’s all good! its in affect so it’s getting better <3 it’s mostly drügs and guys trying to be wannabe gangsters and then get surprised they have to face consequences <3 toxic 14-18yo mama’s boys <3 no yeah the guys have been humiliated enough 😭😭 they aren’t trained idols so they’d def have some inconsistencies 😭😭

Wait Y/N and Hwa went to high school together in Mr & Mrs Park? I had no idea, I'm a fake Baeksussy fan. /// Baekhyun looks cute, I'm glad he's back! TY the number 1 simp, he's the true user baekhvuns. And I heard Psycho, yes! //// Someone said Seonghwa in the Spin Off video looked like a thundere LI in a fantasy movie, agreed <3

THEY DID bdskdh it’s when the flashback of hwa hitting on the yn and yn explaining to Kai that they momentarily dated for a week until mf got heart eyes for some other girlie <3 FAKE BAEKSUSSY FAN FHWJD i am actually taeyong my pseudo was kira, im part time nct leader and full time baekhvuns! psycho supremacy actually 🤲🏻🤲🏻 HE DOES HE DOES him in a fantasy movie brb i will edit him in one rn,, he needs to be in a magically fantasy movie with a proper villain and he’s under this veil that the villain is the bad guy but then he realizes who it actually is!

A much better version of Timothee akshuajaajhshsabsha. Yes Tamino is actual GOD, such a beautiful human and his deep voice ❤ ooohhh Baek I had no idea I'd awaken something in you 👁👁 perhaps his songs will inspire you to write! I'll let you know how he was in concert, I saw him once before, but sadly I was pretty sick that day so I couldn't enjoy it fully 😐 His cover of AM fucks too

HE REALLY IS ANON IDK WHAT U DID IVE BEEN LISTENING TO HIM SINCE YESTERDAY!! his voice is omg, what a voice, so calming but so powerful omgg the talent really runs in his family, IT AWOKE EVERYTHING IN ME! EVERYTHING! HE HAS INSPIRED ME TO WRITE IVE BEEN WRITING TO HIS SONGS 😭😭😭 ur music taste i swear omg anon, u need to ppt format drop every detail of him at the concert, saw a few reviews abt it and it said he has like no voice cracks and it’s just his insane vocals and vibes omg 😭😭 he sings like lana but the male version get out the cover is sO GOOD ITS SO RUSTY ???? he sounds like if brown and emerald were a person

They ditched my girl Kira even though she was the most relevant to the movie plot??? Fuck those werewolves! But no wonder, they didn't pay the actress enough (ekhm racist). What's the name of your avo baby?

NAHH FUCK WEREWOLVES UR RIGHT DONT NEED THOSE TYPE OF FURRIES would accept hwa werewolf au- HER NAMES ACTUALLY AVOLINA!! and uh, speaking of avo,, live action 😀

Everyone's saying 2pm for the sex story thing?! An hour...god!?!?! Watch the story be fake though /// Remember him 😭😭😭😭 - DV 💖

AN HOUR??? OH MY LORD THIS DEF A DILF,, imagine going to the inkigayo bathroom and someone’s getting dicked down in the stall next to u 😭😭😭 the shit kpop idols must tolerate must be crazy,, ITS THE LEGS FOR ME FBWMDJWK

IM SCREAMING ANON FBWKDHW

😶😶

in a few days i might ask u if ur prefer a lighter dark aesthetic or a dark aesthetic for yunho if make it in the end <3

[malopeach]

DEFINITELY agree as a whole and with lots of Thoughts.

theres different levels to it, in my completely not an expert or professional opinion anyway. my expectation of ‘accuracy’ for a well funded, high status institution like a museum or university is MUCH higher than something like, a historical enthusiasts meet-up or a ren faire. None of these situations will have ‘perfect’ historical accuracy, because thats not possible, but there should certainly be much more effort and research put into some over others.

(i do certainly believe some area’s need to step it up in terms of accuracy tho, looking at you hollywood movie makers!! you have the god damn budget for it!!!)

I think the goal should usually be “as accurate i can be, within my means and within reason”. not everyone has the time or resources for a perfectly accurate hand sewn victorian era ball gown, we should not expect that of hobbyists. But if say, the MET is commissioning a historical recreation, they’ve got the coin to drop on that piece and it would be an amazing opportunity to learn more about the way it would have potentially been created way back when!

Something else to consider is that True Historical Accuracy isn’t actually POSSIBLE. Many materials and techniques have been completely lost to time, and working with a different type of material than what was Actually available for the time can greatly change the end product. Sometimes theres just not enough sources for a location or period. Sometimes the only sources are text to interpret. Sometimes sources are hard to understand or flat out wrong. And that doesn’t even account for outliers! All throughout history, there have been scores of people who do not abide by the fashionable dress of the age and all those people are part of the cultural landscape as well!

On top of that, all the best preserved examples we have for ‘accuracy’ are extremely biased. The best preserved Very Old garments are often those of white europeans, often of the upper class, due to general eurocentric colonialism and sense of superiority, as well as sometimes outright destruction of historical records from colonized places! It can be very hard to find any information at all on say, indigenous jamaicans before the settlement by europeans, mostly because they were killed and no one felt the need to preserve the culture of conquered peoples. History favors the winner, and our records of historical dress will always reflect this. ‘Accurate’ to whose perspective, who is writing the references? Not even to mention, most working class people we’re making or wearing garments that most considered worth preserving at the time. Medieval serfs and Jomon era rice field workers were not exactly thinking of the historic value of their work clothes hundreds of years down the line!

theres a dress maker and artist i’ve followed on tiktok (i’ll edit this and a link if i can find them, but tiktok’s search functions are almost as bad as tumblr’s 😅) who is recreating the style of clothing likely worn by freed south african women of the early/mid colonial period. Key word there, LIKELY, because so few references exist for this. Do we know what wealthy white women of the era wore? Yes, plenty of portraits, sewing guides, and even whole garments have been preserved. What about enslaved african women? Mostly yes also, because what depictions we do have of black women from that period in that region, most of them are of enslaved women. But free women, women who had worked and bought their freedom or been born into free families? MUCH fewer records exist, and what we mostly have to go on is what they Weren’t allowed to wear per colonial regulations.

this is just one specific instance of many where Even If the re-creator DID have the time, energy, and FUNDS to create such a piece, the references needed to do so simply dont exist.

AAAANYWAY tldr Op ur so right and u should say it. Accuracy is so much less important than committing faithfully and to the best of your ability to re-create the spirit and style of a by-gone era

I have a lot of opinions on this but I would love to know what other people think.

[59writes]

P1HARMONY- ANOTHER IDOL HAS FEELINGS FOR YOU

some fresh food for y’all pspspspspsps

amazing as always!!!! kat is just. a great author lol

anyways I just dragged them into svt so >:) The8 stan they got good taste lol

also happy early bday to Intak!! congrats on adulting lol <3

ANYWAYS HERE WE GO

(sorry for any formatting mistakes I’m actively playing league as I edit this NDJDJSJ)

KEEHO!

• his sass is at its FULL POTENTIAL

• he is so passive aggressive it’s actually kind of laughable

• your relationship was a secret to everyone but the p1harmony members

• of course, he’s in a professional setting so he has to be mature

• but how does he function when jeongin of stray kids likes his partner?!

• he was unsure how jeongin even met you, but he was not a huge fan of the small pickup lines he used on you

• cheesy pickup lines was your guys’ thing 😠

• he was ready to risk it all and tell everyone that you were his

• he did like his job though so realistically he couldn’t

• he asked you abt it when you two were alone and he was all pouty

• you laughed about it and he was like

• ?! wtf i’m telling u how i feel ?!

• you reassured him you rejected jeongins advances

THEO!

• he was literally oblivious to the entire thing

• he looked away from you for like 5 seconds to have a conversation with another idol

• and jongseob walks up to him like

“yo, your s/o is with sungchan right now”

• shrugs him off like “okay, cool”

• it took him a few seconds to process what the maknae had told him

• “my partner is with WHO?? SUNGCHAN? LIKE.. NCT’S SUNGCHAN?”

• lo and behold, there you were, laughing away at a joke sungchan had told you

• theo.exe stopped working

• he trusted you with his whole heart! what could go wro-

• oh my god sungchan kissed your hand

• WHAT TO DO!!!

• after he finally got his shit together he walked up to you and casually slipped his arm around your waist

• “baby! i’ve been looking all over for you!”

• yeah sungchan got the hint

JIUNG!

• i just see jiung as a really chill dude

• he would not care that much

• he almost never gets jealous of anyone

• except ITZY’s yuna

• you would always tell jiung how pretty you thought yuna is

• he just thought it was a little celebrity crush, it was normal, he had plenty of those

• and one day you called him after hanging out with a friend like

• “hey jiungie! i just got home from hanging out with yuna!”

• “with wHOOO?”

• jk he wasn’t that overdramatic

• but he was very confused

• until you explained that you and yuna were like best friends

• what?! how did he not know?!

• he was fine after he got over the initial jealousy

INTAK!

• wouldn’t care pt. 2

• both you and him knew that enhypens sunoo had a little crush on you

• if anything he would BOND with sunoo about how cute you are

• “oh you like y/n too? do u think they like me back??”

• literally everyone knew abt you and intak

• if sunoo would compliment you, he would agree

• it’s not like sunoo was gonna ask you out any time soon

• “omg sunoo look at this embarrassing photo i took of them the other day”

• he like literally became bffs with him after that

• you and sunoo would playfully flirt with each other to get any type of reaction out of intak

• he never budged

• at the end of the day, you were his and he knew that

as always, ask box n dms are open!!! (praying they work lol. spam me to see if literally any of them go thru HDHDHDH) apparently I might not have anon on which is weird asf but I can’t fix it rn if so >:(

I’m getting a PC soon so maybe I will be able to fix it tho hehehe. shout out to Samantha 4 that <3

anyways ty 4 reading!!! new starfruit chapter coming soon so get excited 4 that >:)