#not bc they needed the radio play
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#feel so out of sorts today#had to tune into greg’s show this morning bc radio 1 was the only place i knew would help me wrap my head around all of this#and i needed the space where i knew this grief would belong#and i did have a little cry when he played a segment dedicated to him#i hope annie and nick will talk about it on sidetracked bc i will really need that space#it’s just so weird so specific too and all kinds of complicated#sth i can’t really reflect on with irl ppl like with other celebrity deaths#bc it’s not like they share ‘the history’ that i have with this band#and this one of a kind weird type of belonging#it’s just so weird man
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also in terms of the bolas playlist it's fascinating to me that the songs added by each person have a slight tendency to represent a consistent aspect of bolas
like
the songs added by slime are their chaos
the songs added by philza are their rebellion
the songs added by cellbit are their rage
the songs added by baghera are their anguish
it's so fucking FASCINATING TO ME but i don't know enough music theory to elaborate lmfao this is Vibes Only
(mouse's songs i can't boil down to an easy noun which is why they aren't mentioned lmao anyway they go hard asf)
(also i went on the longest fucking unhinged elaboration in the tags lmfao i almost didn't have enough tags left to tag "long tags" at the end
(i could have even gone on longer in terms of where their characters were at entering purgatory [philza: cage for a cage; cellbit: fed worker murders; baghera: her past as a federation experiment; slime: turning into a code because of the code pretending to be his daughter] but i ran out of space and also time it's 4AM AAAAA)
#qsmp#qsmp purgatory#this is a sweeping generalization btw esp for baghera's she added a WIDE variety of music#qsmp bolas#sorry i forgot that tag existed lmao#i will elaborate slightly:#slime added: find your flame; gas gas gas extended; waltz of the meatball man; foghorn sound effect#philza added: b.y.o.b.; throne; the melting point of wax#cellbit added: hayloft II; brazilian dança phonk (which roier literally played during purg while beating the shit out of bbh lmao)#baghera added: can you feel my heart; still waiting; and coincidentally she added 'it's been so long' (the fnaf song lol)#TO BE CLEAR THESE ARE GENERALIZATIONS#baghera also added the government knows [REBELLION] and oops [CHAOS]#philza added given up [ANGUISH]#cellbit added zombie [ANGUISH] and tokyo drift [CHAOS]#slime added as above so below [ANGUISH]#it's not a perfect category; ESPECIALLY for baghera's songs i want to make that so clear in these tags#HOWEVER. it is interesting.#anyway i went after lyrics for these examples but just generally when going through the playlist the first time#i kind of learned that like.#music to murder to was probably cellbit; punk millenial music was probably philza#the wackiest shit was probably slime (was shocked to find out tokyo drift was a cellbit song for this reason lmao)#baghera's i usually could only pin down bc it didn't sound like anyone else's#and mouse's added songs i could not describe the vibe if you threatened me for it but it has one#i guess the closest vibe is 'a college radio station run by anime fans' and even then it's not that close#it kinda excludes songs like the b//ad bun//ny songs#unless college anime fans are also fans of them in which case great!#IDK IT'S 4 AM I WAS JUST MAKING MYSELF SAD ABOUT TILIN I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP#shut up vic#block game brainrot#long tags
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the most gorgeous man I've ever known sent me a drunk voice message hurt that i left my job at the bar he goes to without telling him and adding that he saw me on tv speaking about palestine, which turned into me telling my ex boss to give him my number, and the sober voice message was much worse because this sweet guy just tells me that he's so proud of me and then i can feel him like talking with a constricted throat saying he understands that i left and closes with "from the river to the sea" and doesn't it just suck that some things have no hope of ever beginning and yet still end somehow
#there is literally no way something could have come of it he lives in that pub and i don't want to go back there#he has addiction problems and I never had a relationship with anyone#it still sucks that these are facts cause i liked him a lot. and also im not kidding when i say he is the hottest dude I've ever seen.#this is maybe the first time i wish i was heterosexual and/or have less impulse control#radio live transmission#sorry over sharing again cause the psychologist still has to tell me when the first appointment will be#(they kinda also told me i dont really need one which is funny bc the first time i try not to do things alone in my life#bc im pretty sure this hyper self reliant and aloof behavior might be a problem and im told actually im doing splendid.#i won at therapy ig)#also i told everyone there that i moved back home because im a lying liar and#thank god he still hasn't done the math that he saw me on tv still in turin#ive had Cold as Ice by the Foreigners playing on loop the entire day trying to get back in character#like. you'd think if i HAVE to experience something close to heartbreak then at least i could have had sex with the#hottest guy in the city. no. i just get the half assed symptoms of it after having conversations with him every weekend for three months#ranging from his cocaine addiction to police violence to the one time he was staring at nothing by the store room where i went to pick stuf#and he offered to take me to miami and i panicked and joked that he didnt have the money and left.#this sucks.
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i think trans people SHOULD get famous for bad art. i think trans people SHOULD get a major following for things they don't really put their whole heart into. i think trans people SHOULD be huge stars on the internet for decidedly mid quality content with problematic themes.
#i already blocked the person who this is a response to but needed to put it out into the world#besties. there's always gonna be kinda shit art that people go crazy for. there's always gonna be autotuned 4chord music on the radio#there's always gonna be shitty books that regurgitate the same plot over and over again#there will always be trash tv. there will always be low brow magazines#by saying a trans person isn't trans because their art is kinda shit and plays to the mainstream#and carries generally problematic themes bc they are still seen as normal in everyday life#you're implying that for trans ppl to be allowed to be famous they have to be BETTER than cis people#they have to be pure and good and make only high quality art#they have to be 100% unproblematic#especially this idea that every trans woman who is not in keeping with these Values(TM) is an anti-feminist#like. do you hold cis women to that same standard??? i don't fucking think so#anyway. rant over. ppl are assholes.#whalesong
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in their recent track, bb had to juggle and resolve three different parties’ issues in the mtc track their issues were caused by three different parties in the fp all of them had to confront their secret that’s shaped their identities so maybe with the mtr track where we know hifumi is about share the trauma that shaped him we will similarly get jakurai and doppo’s raison d’etre out in the open—
#vee queued to fill the void#*claps hands together* pls let me be right about doppo pls let my hc about doppo be true pls let doppo be a surprise this track PLS—#PLS KR IT WOULD REALLY MAKE ME HAPPY IF I WAS RIGHT THAT DOPPO HAS BEEN WORKING TO DEATH FOR A IZANAMI FAMILY RELATED REASON#DOPPO AND HIFUMI ARE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS WHATEVER HAPPENED BETWEEN HONOBONO HIFUMI AND DOPPO CAUSED THE IZANAMIS TO BREAK APART#BUT I DOUBT DOPPO WOULD TAKE THAT HES THE BTCH THAT DONT PLAY ABOUT HIS HUSBAND BRO LOOK AT ALL THAT ANGER HE HAS TOWARDS HONOBONO#PLS LET DOPPO BE GETTING SHIT DONE BEHIND THE SCENES#THAT BRO HE MENTIONED ONCE WHO WAS FAILING HIS CLASSES AND DOPPO WAS BLAMING HIMSELF FOR??????#LITTLE KANNONZAKA NEEDS TO GET GOOD BUT ITS BC HES HELPING DOPPO KEEP TABS ON IZAMAMA AND SIS#JUTO AND DOPPOS RELATIONSHIP THAT WAS ALSO MENTIONED ONCE?????#ITS DOPPO KEEPING SURVEILLANCE HE ON THE LOOKOUT BUT ALSO TRYING TO KEEP THE IZANAMIS SAFE AND AWAY FROM FURTHER HARM#JUTO WAS THE ONE THAT HELPED HIM SET IT UP#THAT BURNER PHONE THAT WAS MENTIONED HE HAS I THINK IN A RADIO???????#COMMUNICATION OFF THE GRID MEANT TO BE UNTRACEABLE ITS WHAT THE ANALOG BEATS LIKE DOPPOS KAOMOJIS AND THE RETRO GAME SOUND IN PML ARE FOR#LET ME BE RIGHT KR PLS#or you can say i’m wrong and let me cook with my kuukou stuff i’m not picky lmao
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hi
#um uh. radio said jamblr is cool#im just some guy. to be honest#and im also. very very scared at all times#i drew this in the aj art studio with my mouse ....#i play classic as a deer mostly. but im a seal sometimes#i uh. never got to play aj classic growing up bc my dad didnt let me so a lot of this is still real new to me#uh. i dont want to maintag if you find me you find me#art doesnt need strategy
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I BLAME RHI FOR THIS
#queen in teer fradee#also scribe#bc we hung out yesterday and were talking games and i got on greedfall#and was getting effusive about the writing and the CHARACTERS and the interactions and the THE THEMES and-#she was asking about it and specifically kurt and there was stuff i couldn't completely remember#so obviously i have to play it again :P#also the good ones came on the radio#so clearly the universe was telling me i need to replay ves' game specifically#no other explanation for it#do i have about 9 things i'm juggling in swtor? yes#am i trying to make serious progress in lotro with two characters? also yes#shouldn't i really pick back up trinne's wotr game? also also yes#but i'm not#(my last time through was LAST JUNE that's too long)#greedfall
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checked neil's astarion playlist and he put aint that a kick in the head AND love me as though there were no tomorrow on it a few weeks ago im being sent
#bro was listening to radio new vegas and thought of astarion he's just like me fr#a clip from one of his streams came up on tiktok and he was wearing a vault tec shirt i was like 🫵#i want him to do a new vegas lets play itd be so fuckign funny#wait omg do yall think he'll play the fallout london mod bc he's in it...... that'd be everything to me#im annoyed at people that got weird with him bc i cant be like thats bestie bc someone might think im serious#not my fault he’s cool as hell#need people to act normal to protect his peace and so i can be silly#.txt
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What do you think about the 2012 black and white much ado?
well
#first much ado adaptation i've seen where if this was my first/only exposure to it i would hate the play lmao#amy acker was imo the best part of the movie (her 'eat his heart in the marketplace' speech was pretty good) but also#one scene is not enough to save it and again i REALLY didn't buy the chemistry between ben/bea. those first scenes were rough#clark gregg was the only guy that looked like he wanted to be there but also i think he's way too nice to play leonato#he plays into the 'loving father' side and i don't buy him lashing out at hero at the wedding#much ado#ws#i think also. the reason i didn't warm to denisof's benedick is bc he just doesn't play his wit well at all#he just comes across as Dumb Jock. that is not my boy.#if you want to lean into his soldier side i feel like you have to play him as prickly. cynical. a little bit of an ego.#silly sometimes but also can be dangerous if he needs to be. ie. what dt did in the 2001 radio play version
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over the past 3 days i have been playing Super Monkey Ball: Banana Mania as beat and doing all the SMB1 challenge modes. beat im so sorry for rapturing you to monkey heaven. video games are scary
edit of first image i made after ACCIDENTALLY RESTARTING MASTER MODE several painful hours in under the cut (eyestrain warning):
As you can see i did not take it well
#jet set radio#jsr beat#super monkey ball#super monkey ball: banana mania#beat jsr#im like. totally incapable of getting banana mania beat's proportions right; ''chibi'' stuff is hard for me LOL#also like hope you guys like the ugly fucked up crusty looking brush ive been using lately#cuz it is FUN to use esp for quick art that isnt necessarily needed to look Good#so you are going to be seeing a lot of it.#anyway i told myself i probably wouldn't play the smb2 stages cuz i have played most of them In smb2 story mode#(i never got to see most of the later smb1 stages bc of not being good enough at the game)#but today i did casual/beginner and normal/advanced so. well. chances are im gonna do the other smb2 stages too#though honestly? i don't like smb2's stages as much as smb1's#cuz a lot of them are like... really big and rely heavily on timing gimmicks with moving parts and sometimes buttons#just not my thing as much yknow?#also while i feel awesome about how well i did on my second smb1 master mode attempt im sad i didnt finish the first one tbh#on my second run i did stamina master in TWO TRIES WHAT THE FUCK#but... i kinda really was curious how many times i died to that stage on my first run ..........#also i dont remember the exact number bc i didnt save a screenshot but in case youre curious#i died nearly 1000 fucking times on expert mode LMAO#They Don't Lie. That Exam-C Really Is Difficult.#...also. yeah. i did play banana mania specifically just because beat's in it and im in a jsr hypfix. dont judge me
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I'M BACK
#SORRY FOR ABANDONING YOU ALL#I GOT SOOOO ENGROSSED IN MYSTIC MESSENGER THAT I JUST. WELL.#DID NOT LOG IN#and also i decided to stop being chronically online for a little while bc well. i needed it.#i had to start going on walks again and everything#but like. that's all besides the point#beside the point? idk lol#sorry for deserting you all#i feel bad about it bc its just radio silence from me for however long#and you can make the argument that it doesn't really matter bc it's just tumblr.com#but like. i have friends on here LMFAO#sorry for not communicating at all i'm still here#i was pacing around in the backyard yesterday (as i often do) and i had a moment of clarity or something LOL#well not really clarity but for awhile i've just been like “i don't want to think about the onceler. i am playing otome games.”#“lets let someone else do the storytelling for awhile” basically#bc even though it's onceler theorist summer i sometimes simply do not want to do complex thinking#and also i was soooo obsessed with a different capitalist#RECENTLY I REALIZED THAT MY FICTIONAL TYPE IS DARK HAIRED COLD HEARTED CAPITALISTS. WHAT THE FUCK.#like. it all started with kyoya ootori huh?#and then victor#and then the onceler#and then jumin han#and it's like. huh. in real life this is not my type at ALL.#anyways welcome me back i'm back on my bullshit i'm sorry if i scared any of you#i'm back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D#oh but also i should probably warn you that when i get back to campus in late august you will probably not hear from me#for like. long stretches of time bc i'll be out doing college things (studying all night)#my love for you all is not any less when i'm not logged in okay that's all ily bye i'm gonna look at what's happening in my activity!!!!!!!#artic and moonmel get priority though sorry if anyone else is in there
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was thinking about somethin somethin nicky "breaking up" with iris while slow dancing with her
#extra salt in the wound if it's the night ellie and trav surprise them with a makeshift date night#breaking up in quotations bc at this point they wouldn't really be established but It Would Be Obvious ya'know#idk I've been messing around with parts of iris's story again for funsies and wanted some change of scenery#so playing around with ideas#such as nick even if he does have real feelings for her beyond not necessarily wanting their partnership to end#he's incredibly aware he is never capable of being the partner she needs in the ways she'd really want#he doesn't doubt how much she loves him. he knows she does#he also knows how quickly and easily she would sacrifice herself desperately hoping that love would last#and he doesn't want to see her unhappy clinging to something. to him. when she deserves more. someone who can give her the life she wants#thinking about him. her in his arms. the shotgun blast to the heart. saying the first I love you while pushing her away at the same time#also really really really have been thinking up the chain of events that would lead up to her dropping everything and going back on the road#alone again for the first time in a long while#needed a catalyst for her just kinda ✨disappearing✨ for a long while and no one not even deeks can find her#travis trying desperately to contact her at her home base. but she's not there to answer the radio#and he starts trying to talk to her through dcr because he knows she's listening#his lil stumbly voice telling her how sorry he is for what happened. that he wants her to come home. that he's worried. that he misses her#rambling#miss ma'am iris is that you
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#the only fascinating thing about that article is that it revealed how fascinatingly dumb and delusional he and his team are#I get that people feel bad for him that the radios are clearly blacklisting him#I do too#it sucks#but if they can’t do anything about that then they should try another way#like idk actually use his social media to make a profile people can like?#I know everyone hates tik tok but you can’t deny it’s a great way to get your music out there#SO many artists have made noice without their songs playing on radio simply bc they used their social media including tik tok to promote#their music#what did Louis do instead? oh right went on a radio and tv show press tour and talked about his son#bc he needs LADS GUYS BOYS MEN MALE SPECIES#so fucking dumb
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honestly one of the greatest joys of speaking another language is surprising people who assume you can’t understand them xD
like i was in cadets yeah? and every summer i’d go stay on a military base for training, and ofc there’re people from all over the country there. so at one point a few guys in the flight as well as our officer are talking & they realize they all speak french so they switch languages right? 
well i was doing something nearby & lowkey eavesdropping—i would’ve joined in but i can’t hold a conversation at a fluent pace so i didn’t bother, but i was having fun trying to understand what they were saying—when the officer, who was usually very strict and proper, says “tabarnak,” which is basically the strongest curse word that exists in québécois (it literally means tabernacle, which is where the eucharist—the body and blood of christ—are stored in a catholic church, but is used kinda like the word fuck in english. all the strongest curse words in québec french are related to catholicism)
so i look at him with this huge exaggerated gasp & say “sir” in the most scandalized tone i can muster, and this poor man oh my god. he WHIPS AROUND to look at me with the most stricken expression on his face like “YOU SPEAK FRENCH?! WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SOMETHING” and i just shrug and go “you didn’t ask”
it’s been years and i’m still laughing about it 💀💀💀
#it was seriously funny#and ofc i wasn’t actually offended but i was very shocked to hear him swear#so i was playing it up a bit but that was my automatic reaction#but i didn’t expect HIM to be so shocked that i understood#ig they thought they were the only francophones around?#which i mean. idk if i would be considered a francophone because i’m not fluent#but like. you don’t need to be fluent to recognize the most profane curse word that exists in québécois xD#tho ig maybe you’re not expecting people who aren’t from québec to know it bc it’s such a regional thing?#and like yeah basically everyone in canada learns french in school no matter what province you’re from#but they definitely aren’t teaching you the sacres#so i can see how it would be unexpected but also. people think that a conversation held in public in a different language is private#it isn’t xD you never know who might understand you#so yeah. very very funny#jx.txt#edit: i said basically the strongest only bc you can stack curse words for greater effect#so if you said something like ‘hostie de crisse de câlice de tabarnak’ ofc that is much stronger#but when it comes to individual words tabarnak is absolutely the strongest#it’s stronger than fuck is in english. more in line with motherfucker i’d say?#(funnily enough in french—in canada at least—fuck isn’t officially considered a curse word. you can say it on tv/the radio/etc uncensored)
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insane over mishas poetry. insane over radio company. tucking myself in next to his poetry book with radio company playing. goodnight
#zeph posting#i am not joking his poetey book is on top of lazarus rises amongst other things that has a permanent place on the right side of my bed#and radio company vol. 1 is playing bc i need noise to sleep to#ok the lie is the tucking myself in. its so hot i cant even use a sheet. we cant open the windows because the air quality is hazardous#we were at evacuation level 1 yesterday evening until the winds changed#the fire here got much worse and the whole freeway is redirected through our town and it took me 13 minutes to turn at a single light#anyways eepy time for zephy
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love watching my dash come together to talk abt our favorite country songs please tell me all of them
#reed.txt#i grew up on garth brooks and george strait and all the 80s and 90s country#my very first memory i have is calling a radio station at the age of 3#to ask them to play ain’t goin down til the sun comes up#cracks open spotify to make yet another playlist#bc the one i have is modern country i need an Iconic one
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