#not at ass o clock this time

[akiacia]

post-credit domestics (⚠️ mildly saucy doodles below the cut)

[zrllosyn-art]

I miss them lmao

[ar-mage-ddon]

my favorite part of the beta was how clueless player looked at everything

[pkmoth]

i have been on a Roll with these designs im so glad my art energy seems to be returning (knock on wood)!!!

can you guess which character is next to get a ref i bet youll never guess whos next :)

CLAUS | NINTEN | PAULA

[tradude]

the emotional labor of loving yosuke

[simcardiac-arrested]

(gritting teeth) it’s just a first draft it doesn’t have to be good it doesn’t have to make sense (shuts eyes) it just has to exist it just has to be real and exist (blood starts spilling from forehead)

[euclydya]

oversleeping doesn't do anybody any good. let me try to fix this.

[hhoneycloves]

and one more for tonight:

I want to be the image that pops into yall's head when you hear ""maladaptive daydreamer."" "Oh isn't that honeycloves guy one of those. He spends hours daily basically larping in his head." I want the people who interact with me to Know. And more importantly, Understand.

I want to talk about how it's been affecting me lately. because it's strange. it's something i didn't realize affected me until rather recently.

Long, long ramble, Throwing it under the cut for those interested in hearing what my tired ass has to say. There is also a TL;DR at the bottom.

sometimes i don't really realize how much i do. how often i seek to avoid mirrors or my reflection because i know I'll see myself. That freakish, imperfect creature with the Problems. it's a vestigial comfort I developed years ago to escape a horrid reality, but now it basically just puts me in Compulsory Roleplay Mode half the time.

And it's been very strange and difficult being like this when I'm not in my own home.

It took me a solid 3 hours to fully process the fact that. today. I came home and put on my Soul outfit. I only just woke up from a nap and realized, holding this plush chicken:

oh god the mental illness got me again 🪦

and The Embarrassment hit me like a truck. God damn. You let yourself stay in that delusional, trance-like state of only being partially yourself for that long? in pseudo-public? AND you muscle-memory'd your way into a closet cosplay for it?

I understand that it causes no physical harn to me, with the biggest detriment being that it causes me to waste valuable time and energy, and that it's very comfortable and safe-feeling to do. But it's more comfortable in one's own space. I've barely been able to make space for myself in the past 3 months. Thus, I've been feeling notably increased feelings of Guilt and Hesitation towards existing in the daydream state.

It would please me to be called Soul for an hour. Even if it's only just once or in passing. But that is a LOT to ask of anyone, especially of those who are caring for you purely out of the goodness of their hearts. Especially of your partner, who has enough going on. It's a lot on others to basically be forced to roleplay with you because of your daydreams. Hence why I crave so much to go back to my house and the safety of my room where I can be Every Character in the story and speak their lines aloud in their voices and turn my music up above 20% volume and not be forced to explain or worry about being heard or judged.

I'm definitely too old to be ill to this extent. it's escapism by every definition. I see it happen when I'm overwhelmed and stressed. I shut down and open my sketchbook and stop being me. Because the Problem is for Noah to deal with. I retreat and move forward as somebody else. Even though I know It's still just Me. This behavior is frankly so ubiquitous to my existence that I likely haven't perceived all the detriment it does yet.

However, sometimes [but not often], it has it's benefits, strangely? Looking at something from the perspective of a different character, whether existing fictional or an OC, sometimes helps me consider a situation in a way I wouldn't usually. How would X do this? How would Y think about this situation? How would Z act if this happened to them?

It also. Y'know. Helps me as a storybuilder. And more recently as a writer. I think my stagnation on this chapter recently has been tied to my hesitation to Be Heart. to Think like him. To go act him out for a few hours, test the waters, see how he would react In Real Time, on the spot. It's not something I can consider passively. All of the other chapters [i do have existing finished chapters! I'm building a buffer!] were spurred by daydreaming Before I wrote them.

In conclusion/TL;DR sorta, because I Need To Go To Bed:

i have an interesting little Condition, maladaptive daydreaming. I feel kind of Awful about when I do it, but it's a sort of escapism addiction left over from past trauma. It's been difficult living with it recently because I'm not at home. I want to go home so I can go back to daydreaming safely. it has it's pros and cons in my personal life, many of which I probably don't even know about.

[jupiterjunebug]

Sigh. Weve gotten to the parts of the narrative where my outline has a couple "idk, this thing happens somehow" and unfortunately making things a problem for future me has resulted in present me. Having problems

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

I miss. Riptide ep 98n99. I miss fuckin ma. Mae. May. M. Malena. Jays mother. I miss her bro i miss the one healthy and present parental figure of the albatrio. Possibly even all the riptide pirates actually wait. Wait no ollie exists hes got a good mum. But. i miss the tree lore i miss featherbrook i miss the quiet cosy feeling of the eagles den i miss the albatrio finally bein able to rest somewhere they knoe theyll be looked after. Im fuckin jealous of jay man i need her mother. Not like that. I need her mother to stay a mother. But bro i fuckin hope she kills jayson like she deserves the world and he is fuckin awful. Bro i fuckin hate he said jay left her mother by her "poor defenseless self" in ep53 LIKE BRO U DID THE SAME FUCKING THINGGGG UR WIFES DYINGGG AND UR TOO BUSY FUCKIN GETTIN NAVY MILK U COCKKKKK anwyayz.

[goldendivinewrath]

Still working on a thing, so that'll be taking most of my time and hand functionality this week, but if folks be very patient... please do like the post for a thing in your ask box... eventually-soon. It could be astonishingly random. Could be ridiculous or silly. Could be that we both regret this whole idea!

Could be a bunch of worms trolling your muse and their relationship choices upon request. lgfdkjglf

[alteredsilicone]

(claps excitedly) the homosexuals won last night

[tagboss]

how was dethklok brother

when they played ejaculate fire i got so excited i almost puked.

also the venue plaayed some SpongeBob metal song over the speakers before the show

[praetorqueenreyna]

lmao someone asked me for a ride tomorrow and I was like "okay but I'll be there at 7 am" and he went "okay nevermind"

[fereldenshero]

cannot believe theyre making me come into work on 420 at EIGHT IN THE MORNING for some stupid safety meeting. hatred and rage on planet earth

[snippyschnapps]

Ghost has been crying and crying and cryyying at me all day despite having had both extra treats AND kibble on top of her usual meals. Oh, the injustice of it all