#not a day goes by where he doesnt try to start shit

[sircantus]

For your runaway prince wilbur, assuming Phil's the king, would Tommy be part of the rebels therefore on the way of Techno wanting to burn it down or would he be a prince as well?? I'm very curious about the au in general honestly so if you've brainstormed anything else I'd love to hear it!! If you want to ofc

Ok so the au is basically that Wilbur feels very suffocated and alone as a prince and wishes for the free life of being a nobody while playing songs on the road and one day he’s like fuck it im gonna go chase the dream and he runs off from home thinking “eh no one will need me all that much techno is the heir and tommy will be a spare so off i go!” And so he goes tries a life out of the royal environment and surprise to no one he is shit at it but honestly hes never been more alive

And in the meanwhile Phil, the king, who has been kinda really distant and busy lately, checks in with his kids at last and then is like. Oh god im missing one. Why am i missing one. And then both techno and tommy (who had ALSO been busy with their own duties and hardly ever checked up on wil) are like WHAT DO YOU MEAN HES MISSING SURELY WE JUST SAW HIM??

Anyhow wilbur somewhat gets his feet underneath him and learns how to support himself. He still feels a grudge tho for that whole distant royal family stuff so he makes a few songs venting about it to which the people take as “yeah the royal family DOESNT care about us common people you have a point! Hate those guys ugh rich people” Wilbur is at first like wait no thats not the point but people are liking his music here so he kinda rolls with it and starts getting a decent audience who enjoy his music

So now he’s getting these little concerts where he just disses the royal family sometimes and has people rallying around dissing the crown, and word of that reaches the castle of course so phil, still busy with trying to track down his LOST CHILD without causing mass panic to the kingdom is like “techno go take care of that for me” and so techno does. And then finds wil. And is like “i blame everyone here for the fact you went missing and gave me a heart attack for several months” Tommy is entirely on the side of burning the place down. Bro wants blood. Wilbur has to shake his brothers by the shoulders like “PLEASE refrain” and theyre like “:( but they took you from us >:( its treason”

[moeblob]

Amazing, take some of the side character demons from Evil Bound.

Vincie is a menace to Chuck and Chuck alone so in Hell, Chuck hexes his hand behind his back so that he isn't grabbed as much (and it's harder to pet him). Chuck is like the most irresponsible older sibling ever to demons though so Kelvin recruits him (as an older sibling vibe) to go help him get his ACTUAL older sibling from Earth. Chuck agrees. And then drags Vincie from Hell with them because no one else wants to babysit him and he refuses to unbind the hex just to re-hex when he returns to Hell.

In Hell, Kelvin actually doesn't appear much different than his human form! Like Kronos, the lines under his eyes are red in Hell but black on earth. Chuck however? In Hell he has wolf-ish ears and has a fur lining his neck (note the neck scars in human form). In addition to that he has four eyes in Hell (note the scars under his eyes in human form). Vincie just has horns in Hell. And! In Hell the hex doesn't have a silly looking "tied up" look, it's invisible unless Vincie strains it with movement and then its red text. But it shifts on earth to be visible.

Vincie's biggest agony for the entirety on earth is "dude it's colder here than in Hell I want a jacket to slip my arms into BUT I CANT BECAUSE IM BOUND".

[simporado]

‼️ nsfw, mdni please

self-indulgent baku being down bad for reader ^q^

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Bakugo closes his eyes to bask in the feeling. The feeling of shame? Or the feeling of his hand stroking is cock harder than he did the last time again? He's not really sure.

The thought flies away when he cums, his mind blanks at nothing but your face. His seeds splattering onto his pants and on his naked stomach. He falls down on his back, sweaty and panting. A hand goes over his eyes as he calms his breathing down.

"Fuckin' ridiculous." He huffs to himself, shaking his head as if disappointed in himself or to clear his head. He pushes his bangs out of his sweaty forehead as he gets up from his bed to go shower.

Its already almost a year since you've invaded his thoughts. and It's been about— actually he doesnt know since when he's started jerking off to the thought of you.

The first time he had ever looked at you this way was when that stupid dunce face and fuckass perverted grape tricked you and the girls into wearing that shitty cheering uniform. He thinks he probably wouldnt give a shit about those uniforms, had you not bumped straight into his chest that day along the halls, feeling left behind as all the girls had already gone out wearing those outfits.

You had looked stressed then, he remembers. He surmises its because you were wearing something different, and had none of your classmates with you.

"H-Hey, watch where you're fucking going!" He stammers a little, but makes sure to sound normal.

"A-Ah, sorry." is all you had said to him before hurriedly running out to the field to where the rest of the girls were.

He didnt know it then, but that was when he started noticing you.

It had only been stealing glances at you since then, until you had been partnered with him during no-quirk sparring.

Aizawa had you paired together that day. He huffed before getting into his fighting stance, and you did the same. You were in a ponytail, and seeing your hair up was already doing things to him, but he had to focus.

He’d lunged in first, and at the first half of your spar, he seemed to have the upper hand. Then, you started to finally hit back and dodge his advances. He noticed immediately that you were studying how he fights. And he sports a somewhat crazed smile at the realization.

Infuriated and probably turned on, he fought harder, and so did you. But alas, he still ended up winning. He had you immobilized on your stomach on the ground. His hand pinning your arms a bit painfully on your back while he straddles the back of your thighs. Your is face squished against the mat floor of the gym. You grit your teeth in pain caused by Bakugo restraining you, but its also mostly in annoyance.

"You lost, shitty nerd—" he manages to say before hearing the whistle. His hold relaxes a bit, but you struggle and kick his rear, he stumbles forward a bit. He puts his hand in front of him beside your head to break his fall, but his crotch ends up grazing against your ass.

He freezes for a millisecond then shoots up instantly and left. He lets out an audible 'tch' before immediately walking away trying to look casual, despite his reddening ears.

He sighs as he closes the shower, then steps out to dry himself and get changed.

It was around after dinner time, and he's just about ready to go to bed. He heads down to the dorm kitchen to get himself water for his room. Surpisingly, no one else was down there in the common rooms.

Or so he thought, as he almost jumps when he sees an ass sticking out in front of him on the floor. It seemed like you were trying to reach for something from under the sofa.

"The fuck are you doing?" He asks, voice gruff. He kinda hopes he doesnt sound weird. You pull back to look at him, hair tussled.

" 'Was trying to get my phone." is all you say, your lips pouting a bit.

Bakugo's eye twitches. And his cock. Your eyes flicker down for a second.

"Fuckin' move over," He says before bending down to get your phone for you.

“Ah, but you don’t have t—“ but you r protests were futile already as Bakugo lifts the couch, making sure to show off his strength and biceps (thank god he wore a sleeveless shirt tonight) your way in feigned nonchalance, and grabs your phone with the other. This doesn’t go unnoticed by you, of course.

He was about to hand you your phone, but stops in his tracks when he looks down and sees what was on your phone screen.

It's a picture of him shirtless. A bit dirty and sweaty, probably during one of his hero work.

You move immediately to snatch your phone but Bakugo's reflexes are too quick. He raises an eyebrow at you. "You took this?" he asks, smirking.

"Izuku did." you shake your head, correcting him. You cross your arms and tilt your chin downwards to glare up at him. His eyebrows only shoot up higher at the information.

"This what made you drop your phone and got your ass out trying to get it back?" He asks, the smirk on his lips growing into a grin.

You glare at him, cheeks burning. You jerk your chin towards him. "You cant say shit about me when you've got a hard on. 'That because of my ass?" You ask, eyes glaring at him but he can see mischief and lust in them.

A groan rumbles deep in his chest before stepping close to you. "So what if it is?" he growls mostly out of struggling to keep his cool. He sees you slowly smile up at him at his answer, and you’ve never looked even more gorgeous. His heart thunders aggressively against his ribcage.

"I'll meet you at your room to help you with that." is all you say then turn to head to the elevator, not before snatching your phone in his hand.

He lets out a breath he didnt know he was holding. Snapping out of his stupor, he moves quickly to get his water bottle filled before sprinting to his room like a horny lovesick fool. God, you really will be the end of him.

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a/n

proofread it a bit, but probably still scuffed. i didnt bother at first because i thought i didnt like this piece enough. i see yall want a part 2… lmao i shall try. pray that my ovulation takes over me 🙏

[dear-ao3]

Sorry i tried to scroll past but, i know nothing about f1 other than max verstappen is fast, my dad doesnt like lewis hamilton, fast car goes in a loop and sometimes expodes. Could you give me a crash course in f1 drama? Im very intrigued. Whats the tea as it were?

a terribly loaded question, but i will do my best. i’ve talked about some of the drama before like the red bull second seat and the chronicles of haas but allow me to briefly try my hand at explaining the nightmare that is the upcoming silly season

under the cut we go

silly season is when the drivers go through contract renewals, extensions and switches. usually it’s confined to the first half of the season (march-july) but it has been known to extend all the way to the last race of the season and they like to switch people around at random sometimes. driver contracts are complex, there’s a lot of money involved and basically You Are The Face Of The Team so if you have a shit season then you make the team look bad. but at the same time you could have a shit season because you have a shit car. it’s sticky stuff.

so. there are only twenty seats in formula 1. 10 teams. each team gets two drivers. (there’s also reserve drivers but we’re not going to get into that). who ends up with a contract is largely up to the teams, they can pull the contract out from under people they can also cut you mid season. they’ve done it before.

of the 20 drivers on the grid, 14 of them have contracts expiring at the end of the year. yes. 14. you see how this could get complicated.

so let’s meet the teams.

red bull racing. they came first this year (and last year) in the championship. like aggressively first. like they won the championship by over 350 points. they are definitely the team to beat. but if you end up with a seat at red bull, you do have to deal with max verstappen being your teammate and he won all but three of the races last year. he’s the golden boy. red bull are also notoriously silly when it comes to contracts and famously swap people mid season who aren’t performing.

mercedes. merc is home to 7 time world champion lewis hamilton and they have won the championship a great many times, though not since 2021. they are kind of in their flop arc and their car the last 2 years has been pretty garbage, but they have still made it work because they were able to come in second last year.

ferrari. god help the poor little meow meows with a ferrari contract. ferrari is a notoriously great team and they’re trying to get back to the top again but their strategy every single time has fallen short. to the point where their drivers are the ones doing the strategy in their cars while driving. they came in third last year and have been decently consistent at getting first in qualifying and then getting beat by max verstappen on race day.

mclaren. they’ve definitely worked their way up over recent years. they ended fourth last year and have had some championship wins before but not nearly as many as say merc and ferrari. their team ceo (owner? director?) is a little interesting and their car started out a pile of flaming hot garbage at the beginning of the year but they did manage to get their shit together.

aston martin. they are owned by canadian billionaire lawrence stroll, father of lance stroll (one of the drivers for the team). they’ve undergone several name changes over the recent years (force india, racing point, etc). they positively slayed at the start of the season and then one day they sucked. they finished fifth in the championship.

alpine. the frenchest french team. they’re (i think?) still partially owned by the french government. both of their drivers are french. (their drivers also hate eachother but we’ll get to that. just know they’re in the middle of a modern french civil war). they had the opportunity to have a good rookie driver (oscar piastri) this past year but in a thrilling twitter battle, he publically flamed the shit out of them and went to mclaren instead (and slayed). they're usually solidly middle of the pack. they ended sixth in the championship.

williams. williams has been one of the back of the grid teams for the last many years but they have finally started to get their shit together and don’t quite suck as much as they used to. all of the points this year were scored by only one driver though (except one but we’ll get there). they came in seventh.

alpha tauri. they are the sister team of red bull. so technically redbull owns both teams (meaning they can swap drivers between teams. they like doing this.) they’ve just kind of been There for awhile but they did slay towards the end of the season when one of their drivers led the race for several laps. basically tho, this team is the gateway to redbull. they came in eighth.

alpha romeo. recently renamed to stake f1 team (but sometimes they are going to be called kick sauber. this is a whole other drama post and i’m not getting into it). they’re also just kind of there. generally unproblematic. seems that really great drivers who get ixed out of a contract for a younger driver end up here or young drivers who are in their early years are here before they go to a better team. they ended ninth this year.

haas. oh haas. goofy team. they suck. point blank they suck. they keep loosing sponsors because they suck, they don’t win ever (one time they came first in qualifying last year). they cursed themselves in australia in 2018 by not tightening their tires and its been downhill ever since. they came 10th. their team principle got let go (fired?) who’s to say today.

so those are the teams. it is important to note that:

-there is a cost cap. each team is allowed to spend no more than 135m per year.

-not all cars are equal. some things are standard. they all undergo the same testing. but the cars are all very different. so you can be a good driver but stuck in a shitty car. which makes it impressive if you are doing well in a shitty car.

let’s meet our drivers!!!

starting with the guys who’s contract is not ending in 2024:

max verstappen. 3 time world champion. 26 years old. general beast on the track. he dominated the whole season. he’s currently racing for red bull and has a contract with them through 2028.

lewis hamilton. 7 time world champion. 39 years old. he drives for mercedes. he will not leave mercedes until he retires. he really really wants to win an 8th world championship and is willing to stick it out a few more years as long as merc still believes in him. his contract expires in 2025.

george russell. the other merc driver. 26 years old. hes aggressively british and says thinks like blimey unironically. walking meme. got his merc seat in 2022 right when they entered their flop arc by getting his tractor of a williams to finish second in qualifying in the middle of a rainstorm. his contract expires in 2025.

lando norris. mclaren driver. 24 years old. he has notably never won a race in his five years of formula one (mostly because right when his car finally was good enough max verstappen was 20 seconds ahead of anyone) but he is regarded as Very Good. he has only ever driven for mclaren. and even though there is another year left on his contract there is mass speculation that he will not renew his contract with mclaren after it expires and he may move up to one of the top teams (red bull, merc, ferrari) (tho i think he doesnt hate himself quite enough to go to ferrari). his contract expires in 2025.

oscar piastri. the other mclaren driver. 22 years old. this was his rookie season and he positively slayed. like people compared his rookie season to lewis hamiltons rookie season. he also had the positively funniest start to his rookie year because alpine announced that he would be driving for them (he had been their reserve driver and in the alpine academy) and he posted a tweet that basically said yeah thats false i never singed anything with you and im going to race with mclaren instead (he dodged a bullet) and then alpine tried and failed to sue him for $4m USD. he signed a contract extension with mclaren this year and his contract expires in 2026.

lance stroll. aston martin driver and son of the aston martin owner. hes doing ok, tho there was conspiracy that he wanted to quit and have a tennis career awhile ago. but basically since his dad owns the team it seems that hes guaranteed a seat for as long as he wants one.

so now. moving onto the good shit. the people who have contracts expiring in 2024. hold onto your hats people.

charles leclerc. (everyones favorite slutty little soup can). 26 years old. he is currently at ferrari and he has been since 2019. notably, he was given the longest contract in the history of ferrari after a stellar rookie season at sauber (renamed to alpha romeo, renamed to stake f1) where he got the tractor of a car consistently into the points. having the longest contract in the history of ferrari was a flex at the time, but now its likely how he will introduce himself at therapy sessions. ferrari have fucked this man left right and center up the ass with a plastic lunchroom spork. hes talented, he can drive, and he can drive well. but the strategy that ferrari has absolutely sucks. either something is wrong with the car (see him blowing out his gear box on the formation lap in monaco, his car completely crapping out and spinning into the barrier in brazil before the race even started) or they fuck up his pit stops or put him on the wrong tires and honestly its just frustrating. but will he leave??? likely not. you'd have to pry ferrari out of his cold dead hands and at this rate that might be where this is headed though there has been some minor speculation of him going to another team like merc or red bull, but merc doesnt have any open seats and red bull is a whole other dumpster fire of drama. ferrari are going to have to pay him a boatload of money to make him stay.

carlos sainz. the smooth operator. 29 years old. ferrari driver. previously carlos was at toro rosso (renamed to alpha tauri), renault (renamed to alpine), and mclaren before signing with ferrari. he has been at ferrari since 2021 and has voiced that he would like to stay with them for however long he can. there is speculation that lando might replace him at ferrari (but landos contract is not up until 2025) and there is also some speculation that alex albon might replace him. while charles is clearly the golden boy at ferrari, carlos is slightly slower but also definitely consistent. he was THE ONLY non red bull driver to win a race this past year, in Singapore after max verstappedn was knocked out of qualifying by alpha tauri reserve driver liam lawson (more on him later) and because he basically came up with his own strategy in the car while he was driving.

sergio perez. aka checo. red bull driver. 33 years old. and oh boy here's where we open the can of worms. checo was previously at racing point (renamed aston martin) and it was very near the end of the 2020 (?) season and he was out of a contract. he had a bonkers race where he was knocked to the back of the grid and then overtook everyone and somehow ended up winning (there is more to that story but just trust me) and christian horner, red bull team principle, mr ginger spice and definite disney villain called him and said congrats sir you have a seat at red bull! well. fast forward. hes been causing problems. problems as in crashing a lot, generally not doing great and pissing the crap out of red bull. it is basically guaranteed at this point that he will not be getting a contract extension. there was actually talk this year of him losing his seat mid season to one of the alpha tauri drivers, because remember, red bull owns both teams and they can switch them whenever they want to (and they have!) but ultimately this did not happen. even though checo has a seat at red bull until the end of 2024, its mass speculated that he is going to get switched with an alpha tauri driver, probably daniel ricciardo (more on him shortly) mid season because there is a speculated clause in daniels contract that says that if checo isn't performing well in the first few races daniel is getting his seat.

daniel ricciardo. 34 years old. alpha tauri driver. man oh man what a guy. outside of being the prankster of the paddock, he has one of the most batshit careers of anyone currently on the grid. he started out at red bull and was showing real talent and skill and was on track to win things (and was!) and was there until the end of 2018 when max verstappen (his teammate) started getting preferential treatment and also red bull started having a lot of problems with their engines (which were being outsourced from Renault (now alpine) and another team on the grid) and well very very long story short he made the surprise move of the century and decided to sign with Renault (which makes no sense they're the one with the engine problems) and was there for 2 years before moving again to mclaren where he was reportedly not treated very well and had a hard time driving the car so they mutually ended his contract with them early and he basically retired at the end of the 2022 season and became a red bull reserve driver. then halfway through the 2023 season alpha tauri ixed one of their drivers, nyck de vries, because he wasnt doing well and promoted daniel back up to a full time driver at alpha tauri (which we know is only a step down from red bull) but then he broke his hand in a crash in zanvort (?) and then he was replaced for a few races by formula 2 driver liam lawson (who we will also talk about) and then he came back to finish out the season in alpha tauri after he was cleared. daniel has admitted openly that he never should have left red bull and he was given bad advice to do so. hes towards the end of his career at this point and its well known that he Really Really wants to finish out his career at red bull again. he and max have already been teammates before and they do work well together and daniel is great driver (see his comeback in texas (or maybe it was brazil?) this year). so. Pretty Sure that daniels going to get either an extension at alpha tauri or go up to red bull. thats what we all want. get this man in a red bull we need him there biblically.

liam lawson. now technically liam is not actually a formula 1 driver. hes a formula 2 driver, but he was daniels replacement for five races and there has been some speculation and some confirmed news about him so hes getting included. when he was racing for f1 he was at alpha tauri. hes 21 and looks like he belongs in the movie grease. no one was expecting him to slay in formula 1 and he positively knocked everyones socks off. the scene: Singapore. which, if you'll recall, is the one race that a not red bull driver won. this was largely because liam lawson slayed the absolute game in qualifying. the qualifying part of racing determines what order the cars start in on the grid for the race and theres three parts, the first two parts the bottom 5 drivers each time get knocked out and then the top 10 complete for the last 10 spots. liam lawson knocked BOTH max verstappen and checo perez out of qualifying in the second round by going very slightly faster than them, effectively fucking up red bulls race and allowing carlos to win. and he also scored points in that race, which no one was expecting. now thats all fine and dandy, but here's the speculation: hemlut marko (im pretty sure) (who is somehow decently involved in the decision making at red bull though i couldn't tell you how) said that he thinks that liam lawson will be in an f1 seat no later than 2025. meaning that he will probably get offered a contract this year. and hes already raced for alpha tauri. red bull have sunk a good amount of money into him. they clearly want him. so if he gets offered an alpha tauri seat in 2025, that means theres a good chance danny rics is going to red bull. do you SEE how the plot here is THICKENED

yuki tsunoda. age 23. currently at alpha tauri. and fun fact, the only alpha tauri driver to race there the whole year. he had three separate team mates. he is slaying and hes often slept on. he has a bit of a temper and likes to shout on the radio and also hates working out (they had to force him to move to italy or something to work out, long story) but hes been kinda killing it. he led several laps in the abu dhabi race this year and hes decently consistent. people think theres possibility that he could get moved up to red bull on account of the fact that he is younger than daniel and clearly has more years in him,, but there is also possibility that he might not because red bull like to make stupid decisions. and if he doesnt get moved up to rebel, will he stay with alpha tauri? we don't know.

alex albon. age 27. currently a williams driver. alex albon is another one with a batshit career. he started out his rookie year in 2019 at alpha tauri then got moved up to red bull halfway through the year when red bull decided that pierre gasley wasnt doing a good enough job (more on him later) and stayed with red bull for a solid year and a half until he lost his seat in 2021 to checo. he has been with williams for the last two years and is basically carrying the team. like. williams as a team scored 28 points this year. and alex albon scored 27 of those 28 points. and as we know, williams is still kind of in their shit arc (though they are doing much better. they didnt score any points for a solid 2 (?) years. so this is an improvement.) and if you can get a shit car to perform you catch the eye of bigger teams. now, alex has already been a red bull driver. and he was on the cusp of podiuming two separate times when lewis hamilton ran into him. this (among a few other things) basically killed his chances at getting resigned at red bull because he wasnt ""performing"" and red bull are bitches who love to win. but some people think that red bull should give him another shot. like daniel, hes already been max's teammate and he can definitely drive. but theres also talk he might go to ferrari because ferrari think that he might compliment charles's driving style (or something). but going to ferrari at this point is kind of suicide. so.

logan sergeant. age 23. the only american on the grid. the other williams driver. he just finished his rookie year. he scored a grand total of one single point this season, in texas, and it was because charles leclerc and lewis hamilton both got disqualified because the floor of their car had more wear (by literally less than millimeters) than it was allowed to, bumping him up from 12th to 10th. he has never done better than alex albon. he was also the very last driver to get a contract for 2024, with williams waiting until i think december of 2023 to announce his contract extension. clearly, hes on thin ice. but people have also said that he needs time to get used to formula 1 (other people have pointed out that oscar piastri slayed his rookie season this year and this statement about needing time is largely false). where logan ends up next year though will largely depend on how well the 2024 season goes for him.

fernando alonso. 42 years old. many people like to point out that oscar piastri is actually younger than fernando's racing career. he won tiktok creator of the year (somehow) and is also a 2 time world champion. he retired a few years ago, just to show back up again and slay. during the first half of the season when aston martin had a zoom zoom car he killed it, and then they had problems on top of problems and he didnt do well. except for that one race in brazil where he came in third, beating checo by literally .05 seconds. he hasn't really made any hints about retiring a second time and he is kind of carrying aston Martin right now (he scored 205 points this season, coming in 4th and tying in points with charles leclerc, lance stroll only scored 74 points this year.) and they did have their best year yet this year. (though they are relatively new).

pierre gasley. 27 years old. french. drives for alpine. the french team. previously he raced with toro rosso (now alpha tauri), then got promoted to a red bull driver in 2019, then halfway through the season they decided he wasnt doing a good enough job and he got demoted back down to alpha tauri. then he won a race with alpha tauri just to stick it to red bull. after the great oscar piastri contract twitter war, he was signed as alpines second driver, with Esteban ocon being the other driver (more on him soon). estie bestie and pierre (both french) were childhood friends and now hate each other for unknown reasons and basically feuded on the track for most of the season. french civil war at alpine. he scored 62 points in 2023 and came in 11th. not really sure where he will end up, it is possible that he will stick it out at alpine.

esteban ocon. 27 years old. also french. currently driving for alpine. another one with a silly bonkers career. he started out at force india and had a baller few seasons there but his teammate at the time was checo, and checo didnt really cooperate with him too much and caused some drama that cost estie bestie some places and some points. max verstappen also beat him up in the garage once. thats not really relevant but it did happen. anyway, after the owner of force india was arrested for .... i don't remember what maybe it was embezzlement or bankruptcy or something money related, the team was backed by lawrence stroll and became racing point. but all of that happened mid season and lawrence was basically like look ill back you guys for now but next year my son gets a seat (lance) so one of you two (checo and estie bestie) have to go. and ultimately they let estie bestie go even though he was more consistent because checo had more sponsors and they needed money. so he was out of formula 1 for a few years (but was a merc reserve driver) and then went to Renault, which then became alpine. he did come in 12th though overall this season, just behind pierre. so. will alpine keep both him and pierre and keep the civil war going? whos to say.

nico hulkenberg. 36 years old. haas driver. in his 200+ f1 races he has never been on the podium and he really really wants to be on the podium. unfortunately this will never happen in a haas because haas fucking sucks. and everyone knows it. he is getting towards the end of his career though. though! stake f1 will become the mario Andretti and audi team in 2026 (don't question it) and they have supposedly voiced interest in nico. so we will see if he hangs on that long to end up at audi. for now tough, hes definitely hating it at haas. though, haas are going to have a different team principle next year so maybe that will change things. i have a sneaky feeling through that haas will probably end up with another 2 rookie drivers because everyone else is smart enough to not race for them.

kevin magnussen. 31 years old. haas driver. hes another deeply interesting character. he has had one podium. in his rookie season. in his first race. and none since. kevin started at haas in 2017 and then left at then end of 2020 when he basically got kicked off because the team needed money and they wanted to bring in drivers with more sponsorships. these drivers were mick schumacher and nikita mazepin. so kevin basically was forced to retire after the 2020 season. this went decently well for haas. until russia invaded ukraine right before the start of the 2022 season and, well, nikita was Russian and it was never distinctly proven that his dads company (who was sponsoring the team) wasnt also funding the invasion. so nikita got fired and they were literally like 2 weeks out from the start of the season, down a driver. who are you gonna call? kevin magnussen! and hes been back ever since. but hes clearly getting annoyed with haas. there was one great clip from this year where his car caught on fire and he kind of just stared into to, clearly hoping it would burn for a long time. so the likelihood of him extending his contract is looking slim.

valtteri bottas. 34 years old. currently a driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo, kick sauber, whatever you wanna call it). previously, he was a mercedes driver and notoriously helped lewis hamilton win a great many championships, until he lost his seat to george russell in 2022. there was a rather awkward part of the 2021 season where valtteri knew that he was out of a merc seat the following year and kind of just chose violence. he slayed. then he went to alpha romeo, grew a mullet and made a calendar of his ass. quite the glow up if you ask me. hes also very interested in cycling. honestly though, i have my own personal speculation that hes going to retire at the end of this year.

zhou guanyu. 24 years old. driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo/kick sauber, etc etc). hes doing alright. he just finished his second season, in his first season he was majorly out qualified by valtteri but this past season he managed to out qualify him a good 6 times. which is decently good for the tractor of a car hes driving. its possible that he could get a contract extension, but like logan, its probably going to depend on how the 2024 season goes for him.

and thats all the drivers. theres also a few others i didnt talk about, like some other f2 drivers who want seats and mick schumacher, who is currently a merc reserve driver, all of which could be contenders for f1 seats. but one things for sure. this is going to be the silliest fucking silly season.

feel free to add on and peer review me

[nvuy]

im like itching for a boothill x single parent romance. LIKE WHAT IF they moved in next to boothill and everyones like "naww dont go near that guy hes scary and shit" but when kid sees boothill they get so intrigued by boothill they try to get close to him every time they see and hes just... scared? or paranoid, so he doesnt let them close. and then one time kid was still asking questions to boothill and stuff, parent was rushing looking for them, they see them, and then goes like "omf sir im so sorry my kid bothered you" and then boothill is like "nah its ok id do anyt- no what i mean we just met its cool btw lmao"

yk that one scene in a goofy movie where max get laughed at on the bleachers and then roxanne comes and picks him up and asks if he’s alright and then max starts babbling absolute gibberish yep

“So, how strong are you, mister?”

Boothill’s fingers are pressed against the girl’s tiny tiny hands. So small and little and squishy, and he seriously contemplated squishing her until she popped. His palm is cold against hers, and she giggles at the difference in size.

“Hmm…” He leans back on his heels in his squatting position in the front garden. He taps his chin in thought. “Don’t gotta clue. Anythin’ you need me to pick up?”

The girl gasps and there’s stars in her eyes. “Can you pick me up?” She stretches out her arms towards him.

He cracks a grin at her and ruffles her hair. “I dunno. You might be a bit heavy.” He’s teasing her, of course, but she pouts.

“At least try.”

“Alright, little lady.” He hooks his arms underneath hers and hoists her up easily, hands locked at her ribs. “How’s that? Good enough for ya?”

She hums thoughtfully, a cheeky smile on her face as she, too, taps her chin. “Now you gotta carry me for the entire day.”

It was his turn to pout. “N’aw. That’s no fair.”

“There you are!” There’s a rustle of footsteps and the jangling of keys to his left that made him stiffen for a moment, before your familiar face comes into view. Your eyes flit from him to your daughter. “I’ve been calling you for lunch.”

Oh, great Heavens.

“Hi, gorg– uh…” The ranger stumbles over his tongue and zips his lips shut when a small smile stretches into your lips. “We were– I was just��� uh…”

Your daughter looks upset when Boothill gently places her back down in the grass.

“Just horsin’ ‘round,” he finishes. “I was just passin’ by, y’see? And your lil’ princess chased me down.”

You clear your throat, staring down at your shoes for a moment and trying to hide the heat rising from your neck to your face.

“I’m sorry about her,” you say to him. “She’s, um… hard to control.”

“That’s a good thing,” he whispers down to your daughter. “Means you got a free spirit.” He pokes her in the side and she giggles.

You give him another look and his eyes snap to the left, and a casual tune leaves his lips in the form of a whistle.

You offer a hand to the girl. “I made pasta.”

Your daughter practically barrels into your side, almost knocking you over with how her small arms wrap around your hips—she used to only be able to reach your knees. God, time flies.

Your eyes flit to the ranger once more. “Um… I made a lot so… if you’re hungry…” Your eyes trail down to his stomach before you swallow. “Do you get hungry?”

He studies your face for a moment with a pensive look.

Then, Boothill snorts. “Nah, sugar.”

Your face is burning. “Right. Well, you’re welcome to come in, anyway.”

“Oh, please have lunch with us!” your daughter all but begs. Her hands have now interlocked in front of her in a pleading gesture, and she’s offering him her most intense puppy eyes. “I can show you my room.”

He’s immediately swayed. “Well, it’s hard to say no to a cute thing like you.” He reaches down and pinches her cheek.

He watches you blink, perhaps taken aback for a moment.

He thinks you’re so beautiful, even if the apron you’re wearing is covered in sauce stains.

He almost starts cheering when you visibly perk up. “You’ll join us?”

“’Course! I’d do anythin’ for y–” He stops himself by digging his teeth into his tongue. “I mean… if ya insist.”

He can tell you’re biting the inside of your cheeks to keep yourself from smiling too wide. You pucker your lips and look elsewhere, face dark with blood.

Your daughter is strangely silent. He notices she’s enamoured with a bright blue butterfly floating along one of the bushes nearby.

“Cool.” You can’t think of anything else to really say. You rock on your heels absentmindedly. “I’d like that.”

His smile grows impossibly wider. “Would ya now?” He taps your nose once before he bends down to greet your daughter again. “Lead the way, little lady.”

“One sec,” you mumble, digging in your pockets.

You fumble for your ring of keys before you throw them quite badly at the cyborg. He manages to catch them well enough, fingers frozen over the steel.

Huh?

“It’s, um… the purple key. For the front door.”

Sure enough, one of the keys was coated in a deep purple.

Your daughter has already begun sprinting towards the front door. You’re half keeping a close eye on her through your peripherals, but your gaze wanders from her to watch him closely.

“I have a spare so… you can have it,” you continue slowly. Was this… too forward?

Boothill eyes you for a moment. A hand moves to his hips.

Then, in a flash, he pulls the purple key off of the ring it’s attached to and gently tosses it back at you. You struggle to catch them, but you manage with shaky hands and stuff them back into your pocket.

“‘Ppreciate it, pretty thing. You know just how to make a man swoon.”

He blows you a kiss with the steel to his lips and then tips his hat. He catches up with your daughter in no time, sweeping her off her feet and letting her slot the key in the lock to open the door.

You realise when he’s staring at you, one hand holding your own front door open expectantly, that you’re standing out in your front garden gawking at him like an idiot.

You quickly follow him inside, and he closes the door behind you. He’s quick to swing an arm around your waist when you guide him into the kitchen.

[kings-highway]

haikyuu ships but its things about their relationships or moments that I think would surprise their friends/teammates

starting off with my boys Daisuga: honestly definitely the rest of the team forgets that they haven't been together forever, and are never expecting when either of them are acting like, well, teenagers in a relationship. Specifically in regards to being shy in front of each other or wanting to impress each other, the rest of the team always is surprised by it because in their mind, like, why are you feeling insecure in this relationship I thought you've been dating for 2 years and Suga is just like "try 3 months BITCH now I need you to find out what his favourite kind of chocolate is I'll pay you real money if he doesnt realize why you're asking."

right along to Kagehina and honestly, literally even just realizing they have a normal relationship. I think everyone absolutely understands how they got together, but I imagine the first time ANYONE sees them out in public together they ALL have a moment thats like "oh shit they like... are actually dating" and every time Kagehina is just like... on a lunch date, or going shopping, walking a dog, just chatting. Like people are surprised that they genuinely spend time together outside of sports. The first time Kageyama goes with Hinata as his date to a family wedding the entire family is flabberghasted bc they definitely thought this was an on-court obsession only

Iwaoi is really simple, literally just people realizing that Iwaizumi has genuine romantic affection towards him is the funniest thing to me. There's a week where Iwaoi is worried bc Iwa had to go to school with a hickey on his neck but literally NOBODY bats an eye or even mentions it because "yeah Oikawa obviously-" but when theyre changing for practice and they see that Oikawa has a hickey on his neck the entire team goes feral and practically tackles Iwaizumi like "you committed to kissing him for that long?????? YOU?????" like they cannot comprehend Iwaizumi actively participating. (obviously this is also the only time they every see Iwazumi embarassed enough to visibly blush which only compounds things.)

Bokuaka's is so stupid but honestly - the first moment the team realizes that Akaashi is, like, attracted to Bokuto and isnt just his best friend that got carried away. Konoha catches Akaashi checking out Bokuto's ass as he's leaving the changing room and it legitimately ruins Konoha's day. What is he supposed to do with this information.

To be completely fair, Ushiten as a concept probably absolutely baffles the entire Shiratorizawa team for multiple reasons. I think though the obvious one is that the rest of the team cannot understand how little Ushijima is bothered by any of Tendou's antics, where Tendou is VRRY touchy and goofy and lots of PDA and affection and Ushijima is completely receptive and unbothered by it, if not going out of his way to intentionally make Tendou laugh to invite him to more. Like Tendou absolutely would sit on his lap during lunch and Reon would be sitting there losing his mind bc last time he sat too close to Ushijima he got a lecture on personal space. Oh, but now suddenly he's super chill and relaxed and nothing bothers him its tendou doing it.

Asanoya's is a little sad tbh but I think, specifically the second and first years, would be surprised by how serious Noya is about the relationship and how little he tolerates jokes about them being opposites/a surprising pair or any of that. Like theyre shocked to find out how seriously he's taking being a boyfriend and really trying to make sure Asahi is happy. The idea that it isnt superficial or just for fun for him is surprising to them.

Arankita - in a comedy of errors Atsumu accidentally finds out they they are ~no longer virgins~ and legitimately has to leave practice for 20 minutes. There's a piece of him, and the rest of the team, that had 100% believed Kita was a robot and they just.... the idea that this was something that happened organically and not for "procreation" doesnt fit in their worldview. Kita smacks the next person who brings it up and that ends the conversation.

[sensivs]

Caked up Male!Reader getting hit on and felt up by his classmates at Jujutsu High.

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : 2nd yrs and 1st yrs x m!reader (w a FATTIE)

꒰ঌ ໒꒱ : zhellas bby.. ur reqs have my SOUL on a leash 😭

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ : m! reader w a big ol booty , (kindve??) oblivious reader , free-use reader , these students got NOO SHAME 🙏🏽‼️ , booty grabbing , booty slapping , groping (basically) , nsfw jokes abt the reader, i HATE panda so dont expect him to be here

YUUJI - ✦

y'all know yuuji aint the type of guy to let a perfectly good ass untouched, hes a literal FIEN for ts. so it wasnt a total surprise whenever yuuji was around his hand would sometimes (if not always) near y/n's voluptuous ass. his hand on one cheek gripping the ever living shit out of it. he just couldnt get enough of how circular it was and how it jiggled every time y/n walked.

before training, itadori would slap y/n's ass as a "good luck charm", as if the boner in his pants would help him in combat..

MEGUMI - ✦

fushiguro is the FARTHEST thing of a pervert, but when it comes to y/n.. god he just cant handle himself

hes very shy with his actions, mostly due to the fact that if he let himself get handsy with you, he'd go absolutely FERAL.

just the slight wobble of y/n's ass is enough to boggle megumi's mind and keep him busy for the next 2 hours.

but nevertheless, megumi is still a sane and sensible person around y/n, although he can be seen stumbling over his words whenever he does get the chance to talk to him.

NOBARA - ✦

goodness me.. nobara doesnt know how to keep her hands off y/n's fat ol booty..

she thinks she can excuse herself because shes "just a girl and girls can always feel up their friends butt whenever they want to" (her exact words) of course, because of her totally convincing tone, y/n doesnt think anything of the close and personal touching nobara does.

nobara LOVES grabbing handfuls of y/n's ass and wobbling it in her hands. making sure to take in every jiggle it produced.

INUMAKI - ᰔ

y/n is EXTREMELY lucky inumaki isnt such a freak, cs if he was, he would be commanding him to make it clap every second of the day.

inumaki isnt as handy as the others are, in fact, hes the most calmest of the bunch. but he does have his moments where he just cant help himself and starts to mess around with y/n. such as commanding him to grab something off the floor even if he was the one to drop it in the first place.

seeing y/n's arched back and his ass swaying back and forth just makes inumaki go into a frenzy. wishing he could act out everything hes ever thought of doing to you.

MAKI - ᰔ

LORD.. maki has absolutely ZERO shame in her body when it comes to y/n's fat ass. shes constantly hitting on him and fitting both of her hands around y/n's juicy and perky booty.

shes constantly making sex jokes between her and y/n and even goes behind to give him some "practice backshots".

maki makes absolute SURE that y/n's ass is constantly in perfect condition, even going as far as to carry a measuring tape to keep data on y/n's ass to see if it has grown or not.

definitely safe to say that she is very.. VERY... dedicated to the research of y/n's voluptuous booty..

YUUTA - ᰔ

im tired of ppl trying to play yuuta as a "sweet summer child", this man is DOWN for a BIG, JUICY FAT ASS like y/n's.

although he does get a bit nervous when hes around y/n due to his ass being so big it can make him hard just by one small movement.

yuuta is always taking the chances to feel up on y/n's bottom. if hes lucky enough, y/n will give yuuta special permission to lay his head of his butt.

which, safe to say, has made itself a special memory inside yuuta's brain.

[eternalera]

im sorry but love IS the main theme in jjk, no not just in the movie but ALL of jjk.

dont believe me? fuck it, fine, i'll explain

lets start it out with the obvious, jjk 0. this is the prequel to the actual anime and manga series (although i guess actualy isnt the correct term... you get the point) and it starts all because of yuuta and rika who were both children when they fell in love.

rika gives yuuta a ring and tells him that its a promise ring and that its a promise that they'll be together forever.

yeah rika DIES

but dw, she gets turned into a curse... by yuuta, but it was on accident so... yeah fun-

then geto shows up and basically attacks the school and yuuta and rika save it using LITERALLY the power of love. then soon enough gojo ends up telling yuuta this 'love is the greatest curse of all'

yeah love is literally the main theme of that, yuuta's love is what cursed rika and caused her to become a curse but what of gojo? why is he saying 'love is the greatest curse of all'?

well soon after this he mentions his 'one and only' and its heavily implied (actually canon) that its suguru geto, YEP the mf who attacked the school. now lets take it back a few notches shall we <33

gojo and geto went to school together where they became extremely close friends (implies lovers as they do a TON of romantic stuff in japanese culture such as giving geto second button to gojo aka the one close to his heart and them riding on a bike together which is illegal in japan but its also considered romantic to break the rules with your lover so like??!?! yeah theyre gay)

soon after they have a mission to protect the star plasma vessel and imma spare you the details lets just say that it goes HORRIBLY wrong and it ends up causing a rift between gojo and geto. gojo ends up awakening becoming a better version of himself for it and is trying to show it to geto. yet he doesnt know that what happened with him and how he basically got a power up did NOT happen to geto.

geto was left to question who he was fighting for anymore and this caused him to... get a little silly and kill an entire village anyways the kfc breakup happens yada yada and remember that these two were really really REALLY close friends at least and most likely lovers (how i'll be referring to them from now on)

now what day did geto attack the school aka the night of 1000 demons parade? december 24, the same date which is the most romantic in japan (to my knowledge) and the same date which gojo killed him... YEAH THAT SHIT WAS PLANNED

but lets move onto something a little more... recent.

ITAFUSHI!!!

honestly my fav ship and why im all writing this in the first place. their love for each other was literally so great that they killed the king of curses. the whole reason that megumi locks in is because he realizes that yuuji is gonna be sad if he dies and that he doesnt want yuuji to be sad

these two care for each other so much and its basically shown at the start of the manga, how megumi sees yuuji and saves him without hesitation, he just doesnt want to see a good person die.

he then says 'what if someone you saves kills another in the future' and when yuuji asks him that megumi cant answer. and when he can yuuji literally flips back and kills himself in order to save megumi and mind you he was fearing death a few seconds ago, saying how he didnt want to die yet and how he had regretted eating that stupid finger

yet when it came to saving megumi all of the sudden that didnt matter anymore, in fact when sukuna offered to bring him back he said no because he didnt want sukuna hurting more people... speaking over that-

SHIBUYA!!! yeah sukuna takes over yuuji and kills a bunch of people- kinda ironic seeing how megumi asked yuuji 'what are you gonna do if someone you save kills those later?' even MORE ironic that before that its revealed that yuuji swallowing the finger caused a bunch of parts of sukuna to wake up and start killing people and both of them realized this and went 'imma not tell the other cause thatll make them sad'

anyways megumi gives his bf a pep talk and then BAM megkuna and yuuji goes batshit against sukuna <3

anyways before megumi separates from sukunas body he says that he's gonna try living for someone else just one more time and its pretty obvious that this person is yuuji.

ALSO fun little thing.

love the greatest curse of all won against the king of curses, sukuna. sukuna who refused to feel or care for human emotions. aint that something?

[ppnuggiex]

Howdy! I saw requests were open, but if not then please do ignore this one!

It's kinda crack? But mostly angst to comfort, essentially something goes wrong in reader's alchemy class and they get hit by an extremely strong spell that makes it seem as if they're dead, but really they're just in a super deep sleep. So once the spell wears off, they wake up right in the middle of their own funeral cuz everyone thought they were dead. Gender neutral pronouns for the reader with riddle, kalim, malleus and floyd as the love interests! In headcanon format as well pretty please!

　　　　　　TWST x gn reader

　　　　���　riddle ,, kalim ,, malleus ,, floyd ,, gender neutral reader    』

　　-> reader gets hit w/ heavy deep sleep spell n characters think theyre dead

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, crack ,, a bit of angst

　　— this ended up being a little more on the humorous side 😭

- kalim

| • hes so distraught ,, hands on his head as he freaks out and shakes you violently . jamil finds out and facepalms . mr crewel told him nothing was wrong ,, to just give you time but kalim couldnt .

| • he swore you had died ,, and because of that he done held a big fancy funeral . he done invited all the dorms and everything .

| • you woke up when he was in the middle of talking about how you were such a nice and loving partner ,, how he wished you didnt have to die this soon .

| • get this man a tissue bc he starts bawling when you whip that coffin open .

- riddle

| • hes a bit more calmer than kalim in this situation ,, taking care of you whilst you sleep . but he always felt like something was off .

| • that was until one day he went to check up on you ,, your skin was oddly cold and he couldnt feel your breathe or see your chest move when you did breathe .

| • he may or may not have panicked at that point ,, checking your pulse and not feeling anything .

| • riddle thought the spell done killed you then ,, after all you didnt have any sort of resistance to magic so it was a possibility .

| • cue him tending your funeral and trying his best not to start crying in front of all those people .

| • you were his partner ,, his life and joy and now youre gone . or so he thought until you threw that coffin door open and smacked the person speaking right in the face .

| • and standing up in the coffin and falling face first out .

- malleus

| • bro acted the same as kalim . he did not stop to think about checking your pulse or anything . his immediate reaction was that you died . and all the sudden it started to rain very hard .

| • he starts acting like a child who lost his mom ,, panicking and shaking your body as much as he could .

| • then he pulls out some shakespeare typa shit ,, going on about how woe is me ,, my beloved hath died ,, taking from his grip as your soul was dragged away from him .

| • he has a small funeral for you ,, ready to speak for you when a miracle happens .

| • you awaken !! malleus is so shocked he gets a little teary eyed ,, running over and making sure youre okay before getting all baby girl .

| • in the end you walk out carrying him bridal style whilst sebek is fretting over his image .

- floyd

| • he thought this was one of those pranks people do to their pets . where you record yourself pretending to be dead to see what your cat does or something .

| • so he kinda ,, kicked you a few times and is all like ,, wake up shrimpy this isnt funny .

| • then jade has to break the news of the possibility you mightve been struck too harshly by the potion and maybe youre just ,, yknow ,, passed on .

| • floyd refuses to believe it ,, you couldnt have left him . you wouldnt do that to him . you wouldnt abandon him like that .

| • as much as he hates to admit it ,, he definitely cried a bit that night . he shows up for the funeral ,, still in disbelief youre dead .

| • but boooyy is he whipped when you ended up being asleep . he doesnt care who’s there ,, he runs over and rips you out that coffin so fast .

| • blames you for worrying and leaving him ,, and makes you promise not to do something like that again .

[miltonbarbie]

What does Stan's friend group love about you? (Sp x F!y/n) </3

Warning(s): Slight NSFW

Reader is Female, and in these scenario you and your dp (Desired person, for example: Kyle) are already in an established relationship.

</3

Stan🎧💙 :

Dude loves any form of affection you give him, whether it be quick kisses to long, warm hugs, he feels like he'll throw up any second.

He wishes he could call you pet names but he's gonna get sick in the stomach REAL fast.

he also makes playlists of songs that remind him of you and sends them to you + puts them visible on his Spotify account

he doesn't show any clingy-ness or PDA around his friends bc cartman's such an ass and he'll get teased for days, but in private all he wants to do is cuddle w/ you and watch a Christmas movie together

loves loves loves when you mindlessly copy his actions, he think its soso cute. Like for example if he does a secret handshake with one of his friends and catches you trying to make one with yours, he's gonna die of how adorable it is.

He likes to go skating with you, if you don't know how to skate he'll gladly teach you

Get's hard whenever he sees you in a skirt 🙏🙏

Whenever he texts you and you send him pictures of yourself being all cute n' shii, his eyes widen and he automatically saves them to his camera roll with a sly grin on his face.

bro thinks he's mf swiper with his devious ass

he gets realllll horny whenever you sit with your legs crossed on a desk/table, or when you twirl your hair and make eye contact while talking to him. my guy's gonna be walking around with a huge boner the whole day in pain until you relieve him.

Kyle 🎮💚:

He tries extremely hard not to get flustered whenever you hug him from behind

Especially when you compliment his hair and play with it/start flirting with him while you do it. ITS JUST SO ENLKBVJVBENKJJ FOR HIM HE GOES WILD

"Kyle baby, you look so cute with your hair out like that .." "I- h-hah .. T-thank you .." Then he legit MELTS INTO YOUR TOUCH HE'S SO DESPERATE

he wants to act all tough and whatnot 4 you but you make him so vulnerable

what makes him hard as a fucking rock is when he's sitting down on his chair and you bend over towards him with your titties on the desk, arms crossed. HANDS DOWN CATCHES HIM OFF GUARD SO QUICKLY HIS EYES DART STRAIGHT TOWARDS YOUR TITS 😔😔

He lovesss seeing you wear his hoodies, something about it is just.. makes him feel some sort of way..

he gets really excited whenever you ask him to tutor you, it means you two get to spend more time together

If someone insults you he's gonna get MADD ANGRY

Like his anger issues will not allow someone to disrespect you like that.

he's always at your beck and call, if you need him, he's there.

Send him a bikini pic and he's gonna have a seizure.

"SHIT Y/N IM WITH MY FRIENDS WHAT IF THEY SEE IT?!??1!?!?!/11/1/ FUCK WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME AMEOIDOAEINAMSLKN"

STUDY DATES ARE HIS FAVOURITE BUT ALSO GOING OUT TO CAFE'S >>>>>>>>>>

He gets really blushy and nervous whenever your showing him so much affection to towards him infront of his friends, but he secretly likes it, he just doesnt wanna seem like a baby.

Whenever you get better grades than him he either celebrates for days or cries in a corner for hours. There's no in between.

Kyle is honestly so overprotective like if he sees a guy staring at you hes gonna straight up smack their face with a stack of graded homework assignments.

He jealousssss 🤭 he HATESSS admitting it though hes so whiny abt it too.

"Y/nn, I'm not jealousss babeee shutt uppp-uh 😠😠" Like a frickin 10 year old, LMFAO WHY DO I ACTUALLY IMAGINE HIM SAYING THAT THOUGH

Kenny 🏠🧡:

Lovesss showing/giving PDA doesn't matter where you are or who you're with

Bro is soso touch-starved its insane

He holds you by the waist while he leans in for a kiss, he low-key smells like cigarettes and car gas but I'm kinda into it ngl 🤷‍♀️

Whenever he gets touchy, it's not always going to be sexual but this man has some pretty horny thoughts but you cant blame him

Hes so whiny and wants you to touch him REALLY BADLY.

"Y/nn please please please I love you so much please just this once oh my God please your so hot I'm gonna suffocate I love you just this once please please PLEASEEEEEE-" "Kenny omg calm down wtf-"

His weak spot is seeing you in clothes that bring out your figure, I mean, girls look better in a real tight sweater ifkwim 😋

The only time he will EVER be the submissive one during sex is when hes balling his eyes out about something that's happened at home, or when he's high on sumthin'

If he's going to see you, he sometimes brings karen with him because he loves the little relationship you two got going on, also his parents are always arguing so it'd be a huge relief for both Karen AND Kenny.

Send him ONE picture and he'll be begging on his knees for more

"MOMMY SORRY MOMMY SORRY- OH GOD SEND MORE- I NEED- creams aggressively YOUR A FUCKING GODDESS OH LORD HAVE MERCY GOAWDH DAYHUYHM 😍😍"

It's a big bonus if you come from a wealthy or rich family cause then you can spoil Kenny and his siblings rotten like how they deserve 😔💞

Please treat karen well she really looks up to you, your like her idol and shes def your #1 fan, she'll always be talking about you and how amazing and thoughtful and pretty you are ITS JUST SO AAAAAAA KAREN IS SO CUTEEE 😖

Kenny doesn't have much but he'll try to save up ENOUGH money to get you something nice like a headband or some nail polish 😚

He's trying.

He just wants you to be happy with him.

Please get married.

Cartman 🍗❤️:

Oh no.

When people started finding out that Cartman had feelings for the one and only, Y/n, they felt so sorry and started giving u random things and being oddly kind around you.

You were like: ???

If he sees a guy flirting or talking to you, he's gonna lower their self esteem to the MAX.

Like he'll be soso rude abt it too

"What kind of dumb fuck like you would get any girls? You got to be kidding me, your dumber than Kahl."

Once you started dating him, man everyone in the school was either shocked, no- not shocked, literally flat-out concerned for your well-being.

Cartman, REEAAAALLLYYYY .. ?

He always wants your attention, even when your busy doing something he'll be texting you at the most randomest times saying "I'm coming over", and shows up at your door in less than 2 minutes.

If you give him a hug or a kiss in public, he'll be acting all tough and start bragging to his friends. But once he's alone, he'll start giggling and twirling around like a fangirl (😨)

He has so many bad pictures of you on his camera roll but it takes all of your convincing skills to tell him: DONT. POST. THE PICTURES.

He doesn't wanna participate in any tiktok couple challenges bc he thinks their stupid. Buttt unless you offer Kyle to do it then he's def gonna cave in 🤭.

He's such a toddler too

He'll secretly want to be the little spoon often but if you offer him his face starts looking like a whole-ass sunburn with an offended look on his face

"AHEM? No we are NAWT doing that. You? Cuddling ME? No no no, its supposed to be the other way around, "Y/n" 🙄"

He'd diss your music taste and then you'll catch him twerking to your favorite song

He just like that y'know?

[m3gal3sbian]

ok adding to my tdwt alenoah ex situationship au

so, it all starts when noah meets alejandro during his run on total drama dirtbags. noah is still an assistant and alejandro is just like The Worst, but he's kinda nice to noah and noah is like. weird but ok.

alejandro chats him up before and during filming, noah just tries to be polite before he actually finds himself really enjoying talking to him.

they start hanging out a lot more, off set, on set, they share looks in the middle of filming when alejandro is on camera and makes a particularly fun joke or when another cast member says something stupid.

it's still the middle of filming, albeit neither of them are on camera, when they sneak off to a beach off set and share their first kiss.

it's like super uber romantic and noah is like omg. okay. work. lets try and be normal about this.

alejandro however is like internally freaking the fuck out. mans is like holyyyy yfuckckckkk i ruined everything even though everything is literally fine. but he's dealing with some shit so he's just a mess despite how much he actually likes this guy.

so they keep sneaking off together and making out n stuff but alejandro starts acting super weird. noah notices that he's starting to treat him kinda like everyone else and is closing himself off, so he obviously has to talk to him about it.

it goes horribly. the last day on set, noah confronts alejandro about it and alejandro doesnt rlly know what to say so he's like uhhhh i didnt like you that much anyway/you were clingy/we arent even dating, and noah is like FUCK this guy im leaving. and they both go their separate ways thinking they'll never see each other again.

too bad, chris mclean says, as he offers noah a shit ton of money to join total drama world tour.

and, obviously, noah is in no position to refuse the money, especially with his younger sisters needing to go to college not to mention the work chris put in negotiating his pay.

noah already knows who is finalized for the cast, now including himself.

so, he finds himself in a position where he not only has to deal with his ex situationship on a daily basis, but he has to work with him on the SAME TEAM.

alejandro doesn't know that noah was on season one, much less he's joining world tour, so he see's noah on the bus and is like FUCKKKKK!!!! literally he's like oh my god the love of my life i fucked up so bad i need him back RIGHT NOW

so he makes it his mission to win back noah, but he's still playing the game, so it's like a disaster of alejandro trying to play the game and play people but also trying to be honest with noah and get him to trust him again.

and noah doesn't really know what to believe, plus, he's still super mad. so he kinda just watches alejandro be stupid and then makes fun of him while his heart is beating super fast bc he likes that dork so much.

basically they're just disaster gays and are STUPID!!!

[s0apmactav1sh]

More crappy thoughs coming from me.

Teenage!Simon Riley edition. With Bestfriend older brother troupe >:} (Reader is aged around 15 to 23.)

^ by this I mean simon from the ages 12 to around 20 and these are just silly things from my brain nothing got to do with his character in the game.

-Teenage!Simon who became bestfriends with your little brother pretty quick. The two stuck to each others hips. They were a do or die type friendship. If one done something the other had to follow. And that just meant you were often forced to go with them to make sure neither got hurt because god forbid that happens.

-Teenage!Simon whos only a three years younger than you and yet you still treat him like a little kid each time you see him. Acting as if hes more like your little brother than anything else. And it just made sense that when he got picked on it was you who was getting suspended from school for beating up his bullies.

Teenage!Simon who started coming over less and less after your brother got a girlfriend. Meaning your mam was pestering your brother and you on why her favourite adopted son hadnt been over in a while. To which you cant answer and neither can your brother because hes a little shit.

-cut to your 18th. Finally able to drink and guess who shows up at the door right before midnight completely drenched. Yuppp Simon. No one was home and you couldnt just leave him out in the rain. So you took him in, giving him clothes your brother refused to wear in replace of his wet ones because you also dont want to get killed over wet floors by your mam

-Teenage!Simon who finally realises that you were technically the 'better' brother. In the sense you actually stuck up for him, made sure he was fine and wasnt being bothered. And you even looked after him each time he showed up knocking on your window because he ran away from his house. You done more than your brother ever did.

-Simon who tries confessing to you when hes 16 and your 19. Only to be rejected by you because you didnt want to be accused of anything and because it was wrong from him to even think of you that way (internalized homophobia guys it happens :( to the best of us anyways)

-Simon who has to quite literallu chase you to get you to talk to him during school. You may not talk to him anymore but you still made sure he wasnt being picked on. He was still your brothers bestfriend. And even if he didnt need it, youd given yourself the role of protecting him from bullies in and out of school.

-You who lands yourself in jail after beating a 18 year old for the simple reason on the fact he was trying to get simon jumped. And word got around to you quickly even if you no longer were in school and were a second year in college. But hey it wasnt your fault he didnt think before he spoke.

-you who got out exactly 3 days before simon turned 18, meaning youd be around to celebrate with him (that was if you ever stopped getting phone calls from your mam giving out over you being locked away for 6 months.)

-Simon who makes the joke that he's technically legal and its not wrong for the two of you to date. But even then you fele icky over the fact that he may be wasting time on you when he could find someone way better.

-you who only accepts to go out with him because he seemed so determined. You guys spending the next 2 years together until he tells you he thinks he wants to join the military and see where that goes.

-you who are fully with him and even help him enlist. Not knowing that you'd lose touch only a year after he was gone. And then for it to carry on for the next 18 years. Until you spot him back in town with 3 other men you have no idea who they are but hey he's back and safe.

-Simon who doesnt remember a thing about his home town other than the fact that he still had a home to return to even if it wasnt his. And is all too surprised to see its not your mam or brother living there. Its you. And everything is awkward even when you tell him is find for him to stay. All he needed to do was stay away from your room and the garage during certain hours during the day.

-Price, Gaz and Soap being able to just sense the tension between the two of you. But not being able to pinpoint what it is exactly about you that has simon so on edge. Until it finally clicks when they see the pin board hanging in the hallway with a picture of you simon and another boy that looks like a younger version of yourself all standing at the bank of a river.

-them trying to stick ye in rooms together to get ye to reconnect but the flame that was once there is gone. And not an ember that remains to spark it up again. Even if you try.

I havent writen in so long and i needed to write something to get over my writers block so have this and enjoy. Ima try write a small fic to go along with this.

[just-a-floofy-catt]

I feel like i haven't posted in forever again TwT

I found an old GlitterGolf idea drabble that I wrote after reading a really good fic about them buried in the depths of my phone so uh...

*throws it at you*

Omg a glittergolf fic with judgemental, sassy, hw2-esque Sun

So like, not only is there the trope of Monty disliking him and thinking hes annoying asf and a weird freak,  but now instead of being oblivious and nice, Sun returns the same energy, thinking that Monty is a selfish brute who shouldnt be trusted around children. Like, he'll make very off  comments about him and just spend the whole time scowling and trying to shoo him out XD

So, like, imagine there's a thing going on at the daycare.

Where, as almost like, a way to bring more business in and shit, theyve started having a daily thing where one of the glams will visit the kids there and do an activity with them for an hour or so. Usually its Freddy, sometimes its Chica, and rarely its Roxy. This is the first opportunity that Sun really gets to meet them, and it actually goes really well. Sun absolutely adores Freddy, has a new bestie in chica, and shockingly has some good banter and an unlikely friendship with Roxy.

However, theres a day where Freddy has to go for energency maintenence, and the others are all booked for parties.

Leaving only Monty free to do it.

Now, Monty has never done one of the shifts before, because he doesnt do well with the younger kids. Both because hes scary to alot of them, and because he also just doesnt really know how to deal with them. Maybe deep down theres even a deep rooted fear of hurting them 👀👀👀

(There definitely is)

But so he is absolutely NOT excited to go.

Despite the way that the rest of the Glams praise up Sunny and how great he is, Monty does not care and still views him as the same annoying freak he always did, despite not having met him yet.

So, he shows up and Sun opens the door all cheery being like "Oh hello Freddy! Youre a bit late i was worried you werent gonna show up and-"

And then he clocks that its monty.

"Oh."

He immediately glares down at him in pure, utter distain, voice filled with disappointment and mirth.

Monty stares back up at him with a huff, tense. If he had fur, his hackles would be absolutely raised.

Then Sun would be all like "ugh. Ew. why are you here", and Monty very bluntly explains that hes been forced to go and that Freddy is in maintenence.

Then Sun tries to shut the door on him XD

"Im sure the kids can go one day without a glamrock then! Ill let them know freddy is sick, thank you for telling me. Lovely to meet you, Montgomery!"

Monty stops the door by grabbing it stongly with his hand, scoring clawmarks into it.

"What do you think you're doing?!"

Sun scoffs at the damage

"Im the one taking over, dipshit. Im here to do my fuckin job"

The realization that hes truely stuck with Monty dawns on him, and he opens the door again, taking a deep breath.

"No swearing in the daycare..."

He spits it through gritted teeth and relents, turning his back to him and stalking away.

Then the cheery front goes back up and he completely changes XD

He introduces Monty to the kids as best as he can, but none of them really seem too interested, making him both snicker but also be incredibly frustrated that his dramatic intro didnt work.

(Also, to explain more character stuff, Sun is mostly in typical fanon form, and then uses all that hw2 sass mostly as a defence mechanism. Hes definitely got some mischief to him that he also uses it for, like banter with Roxanne, but for the most part hes a sweetheart. He gets easily frustrated with management and people that he doesnt like, but has alot of patience with activities like crafts and also with the kids. He is still like, painfully innocent and has his loopy childlike vibe, but just covers it up when he feels threatened. The best way i can describe it is that he acts like a playground bully when he doesnt like you. XD Still childish, but now just a more snarky, cold and mean version. Hes a bit cautious of some new things, although very curious. So he normally is a bit cautious around new people, but very welcoming and nice.

This is different for Monty, because of what he hears from the kids XD

Alot of them when mentioning him in passing, see Monty as scary and violent, so now thats how Sun views him. Alot of the kids see him as a threat, so now Sun does too. Hes protective of the kids, so of course hes jumped to judge someone he doesnt know based on whether the kids like him or not XD

Dont get me wrong, in some situations hed definitely try to show the kids the thing theyre scared of isnt so bad, but in the case of Monty, he has confirmation  that he can be angry and violent from the other glams and staff, so of course he still just sees him as bad lmao.

Like, the way he acts towards Monty is mostly because of mama bear instinct stuff. He sees him as a threat to the kids  so he doesnt like him.)

Enemies to lovers my beloved ✨️

But over time, Monty starts having to do it more and more, as inconveniences keep piling up, and Sun starts to kind of let his guard down, and the scathing defensiveness turns into teasing. He sees Monty actually trying to connect with some of the kids, and also after spending his whole life w Moon, understands that Monty is frustrated that theyre scared of him. He starts to see the good in Monty, and also pity him a bit.

Monty on the other hand, starts to admire how much Sunny cares about the kids, and steadily gets used to his upbeat and overly cheery demeanor. He no longer sees him as annoying, but instead, endearing.

And then theres eventually endgame GlitterGolf

[maskedbutsilly]

bring your boyfriend to work day

trying to work on an art project but. Period pain. Dying rn.

a bit of lore on the au these fluff drawings r based off vvv

so im thinking, this is a canon divergent au where q takes wil in after he was revived. i always had a hc that when someone is revived, they walked out from the river (it sounds cooler in my head & it doesmt make sense, but like idk he steps off the train and into the water basically?) but instead wil couldnt swim so he like. Drowns. q was nearby chilling amd was like “is that soot’s body. what is it doing in the river??” amd swims to save that fucker (didnt know he was alive then). and then q was like, “mans look different?” wil then wakes up amd spirals into a panic attack and q comforts him. so where it all started.

instead of being a douchebag like he is in canon, here hes a sad lil fucker. Cute too. no one knows he is revived other than q, and he lives (more like hides) with q. man’s not ready for judgment from others. maybe he does a lil healing too. hes trying to get himself together to make amends w everyone, amd q is helping him.

i have other ideas like him looking VERY different to the point no one recognises him, so he goes by a different identity and is known as Quackity’s vice president. occasionally joins his meetings too. his workers ship yhem btw heheh (sam no. 1 shipper)

everyone likes this identity of him, cuz he nice and shit, and he hangs out w mostly everyone. more often than not, ppl would slip and mention wilbur in their comvos, and wil was like “nono tell me more about him.” amd when rhey talk about him he was like “mm he sounds like a dick”

tommy has a hard time trusting him bccc yeahhh

but then this wouldnt make sense cuz even if his identity has changed his voice stays the same so.. prob not gonna work :/ oooOOOoo what if he revived and forgot him memory?!!! everyone knows he is wilbur soot but he doesnt,,, and hes trying to mold himself into someone not wilbur… and he has a different name…. actually im thinking this as im writing this. scrap everythifn screw this. except the first 3 paragraphs.

[gabessquishytum]

Ive been lurking for a long time just eating other peoples ideas but i cant get over sleazy pickup artist hob having this religious pussy experience from this weird goth he met at a bar just standing there silently like a mannequin. I would love it if dream was only this unearthly beauty to HOB. Literally NOBODY ELSE gets why this crying wet cat bewitched him body and soul... hob is a total conman on the internet manosphere bc he looks like Alpha Male and he just says some bullshit he makes up on the fly and starts pyramid schemes. He stumbles out of that hookup dazed and confused but feeling like he needs to buy a ring and perhaps commission a golden statue. Hes Different after. Like his accounts drop off activity for a good long while as he tries so desperately to find this Weird Fucking Guy hes not quite sure was human at this point and when people start noticing what hes doing hes an absolute laughing stock but hes too busy pulling all nighters red strings on the corkboard to care hes like an obsessed mad scientist in a monster movie. He goes to that bar EVERY NIGHT. For 100 days. Then his magnificent stranger walks back in and orders a glass of milk at the bar and hob is ready to simp for the rest of his fucking LIFE. Morpheus is this guys Actual Name and hob realizes he could have just like,, looked him up online if he believed morpheus when he told him the next morning then left while hob was in the shower. But dream shares that he doesn't have social media. Or a computer. Or a phone. He pulls out this ancient flip phone held together with scotch tape and willpower so hob can enter his number. He types with one index finger on hobs screen to enter his own. Hob is gifted his presence for another night of insane sex where he almost dies like twice and comes more times in a row than he has in his life. Dream is completely unaffected by literally any media attention and No One Gets The Appeal. Hes like a cryptid and everyone knows who HOB is seemingly BUT dream and he really doesnt care about any of the questions he gets. Usually just responds with some shit like "you could be learning a new hobby right now. Try oil painting, perhaps the clarinet." Its not even beer goggles bc hob is following after this freak like a puppy in the middle of the afternoon wearing all black and a long jacket in August while he picks out the specific peanuts from a big barrel he would like to feed the birds at the park today.

-🔪

Yeah I absolutely love the idea that Dream is a weird skinny gremlin to EVERYONE. Except for Hob. Hob thinks he's an angel, a beautiful ethereal creature, Dream has literally saved Hob’s soul from the torments of cringey redpill internet content. Hob walks around with heart eyes 24/7, basically waits on Dream hand and foot. He doesn't give a shit if he gets ripped on online - he doesn't go online anymore, he's way too busy staring at the way the light filters into Dream’s eyes.

He's so down bad for Dream’s pussy it's almost comedic. He'll get on his knees and bed to be allowed just a sniff, just a moment with his nose between Dream’s legs. He'd buy Dream’s bath water but he's so lucky he doesn't even have to!!! He gets it for free!!!

All this to say: they're both freaks, no body gets why they're Like That but true love finds a way!

[polifandom]

I saw that @avonne-writes has this ongoing thing about a failed sex hc and it got me inspired so here's what I think a failed clegan sex would look like:

They have just gotten started with the intimacy thing, and Bucky is so excited about it but he's being wayyyy too obvious and Buck cannot have that

Still Bucky somehow convinces him to go at it in this weird small closet none of them knew the existence of because Bucky cannot get his hands off Gale the entire day (and he admittedly gets a bit horny at that)

So fine, Buck lets Bucky drag him to that closet against all his better jugment

Except they're hardly a room over where everyone is (still awake, btw!!!) and really, this is far from the most prudent choice, but now gale is horny too so theyll have to make it work

Bucky is immediately on him once they close the door, opening his shirt, kissing his neck, biting his shoulder and yeah this is good, fuck this is good

And bucky can see he's enjoying it, so he bites down harder, kisses him even more, scratches buck's exposed belly just because he can (and because he can't control it)

Buck is all in now. like yeah, he's fucking horny!!!!!! So he switches them up and immediately goes down to his knees, because he hasn't really sucked bucky off that many times and he really wants to do it now

Bucky works his pants open, his dick kinda slaps gale in the face once its out but he takes it greatly and omg he's far too excited about this

And then gale is on him, mouthing down the entire extension of him, and OH GOD

And he's trying, really, to be discreet about this. he's aware everyone is a room over and he knows gale hates when he makes noise where everyone can hear it.... but then gale goes down far enough that his mouth touches his pubes and john SCREAMS

Gale immediately stops right on his tracks and drags his body back until johns dick is no longer in his mouth, and then he just looks at him like what the fuck?

But gale's mouth is red and open and there's spit connecting it to john's dick, thats hanging right in front of his face btw, and fuck, that image is far too much. plus his mad face? oh god john could DIE

So he comes. no warning, no nothing, just comes all over gale's face and even inside his fucking eyes and oh my god gales gonna kill him, like actually murder him

Gale is stuck for a moment, just trying to blink the fucking cum out of his eyes, but now its fucking stinging and john doesnt even have the decency to look fucking guilty about it and yeah he is gonna murder him

He stands up and just. looks at john. furiously.

But john is still in his post-cum bliss and he really is trying to pretend he feels guilty about this, but fuck theres his cum all over gales face and hes getting half hard again at the fucking image

Gale wants to hit him, like actually fucking punch him in the face.

He uses john's uniform, because he obviously is not gonna use his own, to clean the cum off his face but his eyes are still fucking stinging and he knows theyre red as fuck, even if he cant see them right now

In fact, he can't see much of anything...

John is finally getting down from it, and gale is just staring at him. like he wants to murder him. and fuck, oh shit, his eyes are so red

Gale raises his hand and for a moment john actually thinks hes gonna hit him, but then he just turns and opens the closet and gets out. doest even say anything.

And john is left there, cum all over the cuffs of his uniform, still very much post-bliss, and having no idea what he can even say that would make gale less mad at him. he is so fucked.