#nobody talks about their relationship and it’s a crime they are so silly

[ritzmilk]

Can we talk about how Connor invited Lafayette downstairs into his secret murder basement with literal hit list portraits of well known men on the wall with their faces crossed out and manic writing on the wall next to them AND THEN proceeded to show off a scale model of Fort George (did he build that by hand???? Was that just lying around???) and describes how they are going to commit an act of terrorism and kill Lee and Lafayette is just like “Incredible! Yeah!!!! :D”

[thorough-witness-enjoyer]

The Witness and Why It (and its demise) Means Everything to Me (A POC Perspective)

Hey everyone!! The Final Shape has ruined me and has brought me to levels of not only grief, but hope, that I did not think possible, so I decided to give my thoughts on the different aspects of it that moved me to a place where I can be at peace with many things in my life and look forward to paving a better future!!! I think I’ll be making many posts pertaining to the Final Shape as a way to help me express my thoughts on how important this DLC was to me, but we will see!

Please note that these are just my loose, not fully structured thoughts and I’m yapping. My opinions are subject to change and I’d love to hear the input of others! We will be talking about subjects such as slavery, religion, black experiences, and personal experiences of mine!!! It’s very long too, so I’m sorry about that and any writing errors!!

Though I do not believe what I speak of was fully Bungie’s intentions when making the character, the implications and views you can take on the Witness do relate to what I will discuss.

I wanted to start off my return to tumblr with one of the many, many reasons why I have such a deep attachment to the Witness (Precursors and Dissenters will get a different post bc they mean the world to me too!!) , because truly, this entity owns my whole life. I think of it all the time, it lingers in my thoughts, my art, my writing, all of it. It has been so deeply intertwined with my enjoyment of Destiny since it appeared and has offered so much to my perception of the world. I do not think I will truly get over it and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t draw it every chance I get. It appears in every single thought of mine, it’s bad you guys.

I love the Witness so deeply because I have never harbored such a personal level of DISGUST for a character before. As much as I joke about it being silly and the love of my life, the very existence of the Witness revolts me to the core and the tragedies it has directly or indirectly caused squeeze my heart empty. This festering rot of an egregore SICKENS me as it is the beliefs that has robbed me and many others of family, culture, and livelihoods given form. My love for the Witness comes from how it instills in me such HATRED, and truly, we were far too kind to it in game.

For context, I am Caribbean American and have a tumultuous relationship with my heritage for many reasons, but it wasn’t until the Witness and its many victims that I felt like the religious imperialism that has affected my heritage was represented in a way that crept into my spirit.

My Caribbean mother always said to me that we are of this world, not in it. That the hearts of men are wicked and sin (cruelty) was embedded in existence itself. It is only when we give ourselves to a higher purpose that we will be free in the end from all suffering. To her, this life and everything in it did not truly matter for it was a temporary challenge to overcome in order to earn an eternity of salvation. A perfect paradise was awaiting us all if we just gave into the way and left everything else behind.

These were all convictions she held to her very core as she tried to shed away all other aspects of herself to give into this “truth”, especially her Caribbean culture.

She did not always believe this way, but to her, the island she came from did not truly matter at all. Those “wayward people” she grew up with were not worth anything and would die as nobodies on that nowhere island for their lives were not saved, even if they knew of the “truth”. In her adopted views, those people believed in false gods and practices (such as Vodou and beliefs that belonged to those taken from Africa and indigenous populations), they invited in frivolous wants of the flesh such as lust (with „improper“ attire and certain dances), and committed crimes that proved to her that they could never be anything more than what they already were (though she would be blinded to the fact that these behaviors are a result of hostile environments created by the systems established for slavery and racial subjugation). If she wanted to be fit for “walking the right path”, those people had to be left behind for they were lost causes who could not be saved unless they were delivered by the “respectable” ways of life. She had to discard her black mannerisms, hair, speech, and more to have a place amongst the truly chosen.

Religious imperialism has a long history of being heavily tied to discussions of race and colonialism as those who participated in subjugation believed themselves to be more enlightened than the people they brought devastation to, giving them an entitlement that drove them to force their way of viewing religion onto populations. After all, in their minds, they were doing the greatest good for they were setting the people they subjugated on a path for eternal paradise. There was no cost too high in this finite life for infinite salvation to colonizers and all efforts to convert populations who did not see this truth would be “necessary”. People would die or be forced into servitude in mass to support the ambitions of the “enlightened” ones, whole cultures and populations being scrubbed from the face of this Earth in an attempt to “heal what is sick”, to “break broken bones again to heal them right”. I think of all the generations lost to war, slavery, colonialism, and every other act done to deliver “purpose” onto others, all the people whose names will never be known because others used the breath needed to utter it on preaching of their own virtue, and I am left in ruin.

I think of how my mother speaks of those lost to destitute lives because of the social pillaging of the island as an unfortunate side effect of guiding them to the truth and I look at how her world view has been ruined.

My mother thought she was saving me by keeping me from my culture, my people, my family. I did not get to know the language, the customs, the land, but I did get to know how much my mother thought those were distractions. She spent my whole life trying to cement the truths given to her by the same people who left her island in such as state that she felt like she had to run from it, to ensure I would not grow into a person, but a vessel of the righteous message. After all, to be a person is to be complex, nuanced, and flawed and there was no room for that in the visions given to her. The complexities and human flaws that came with our culture would only distract us from giving our whole lives to freeing ourselves from the curse of existence.

The cruelty the Witness delivers with such gentleness as it razes civilizations, its unwavering belief that it is the objective truth and other perspectives are blind to this truth, the means it will use to get that “justified” end, its gut wrenching to me and all that has been lost throughout human history to ideologies that bear the same qualities. Its zealous, static nature that relies on circular reasoning keeps me up at night and makes me mourn what could have been if the unfamiliar and hard to understand parts of human expression were allowed to flourish instead of being eradicated for diverging from someone’s vision of what makes a life worth living. I see this big eyed vessel, incapable of growth and convinced of its own righteousness and my chest feels like it is going to cave in. I see its disciples and pawns in the faces of too many people I know and recall their stories in moments that remind me how poisonous what the Witness represents is.

The Witness is an evil that has hollowed out lives, homes, land, and futures, especially for those who come from heritages that have persevered against attempts to “rectify” them. I still grieve the empty life my mother lives and the people left to suffer the consequences of daring to create their own meaning. I look at the face of the Witness and think of the “burdens lifted off my mother’s shoulders” by those who thought themselves as witnesses of a truth that could not be contested with interpretations that could not be questioned. She prides herself on being a weapon wielded to correct the sinful hearts of men, but I just wish she prided herself on being a person because those who “delivered” her robbed people of color of personhood entirely.

The Witness is not a person, but the embodiment of these deeply rooted ideologies and concepts that affect so many. It’s horror, both in game and the parallels it has in reality, is far too grand and unfathomable for me to bear its weight on my soul and not agonize. Its very existence is monstrous, despite the understandable intentions that went into its making, and my stomach churns at the mere thought of it.

How many species in the Destiny universe will we never know about because their whole galaxy was used to get closer to the Final Shape? How many star systems were left barren because of the Witness’ ambitions? How many children, spouses, artists, philosophers, siblings, neighbors, and more, people who were something, became nothing because of eons of the Witness‘ justifications? Bile boils just thinking of it.

What the Witness represents has hung over my head my whole life and its perverse touch lingers on the whole Destiny universe, tracing many of the depraved atrocities in the game back to itself. It’s death in the Final Shape, at the hands of those it had turned into victims and left to deal with the repercussions of its influence united together, moved me in ways I do not think I could ever properly articulate. To see beloved characters I had given a decade of my life to come together from different backgrounds with different reasons to defeat such a heinous entity, I felt like I could do my part to bring others together, despite our struggles and differences, to rebuild what had been taken from us.

As a person of color from a group of people many still think are undeserving of life, seeing so many characters I have related to over the years say “I matter because I decided to and you can’t take that away from me” to an entity who thought itself so refined that it got to determine everyone’s worth strengthened my entire being. Existing as a person of color is bold in and of itself, but the defeat of the Witness at the hands of people who wanted to exist so bad they risked everything for it ignited in me a flame to be audacious. My existence and culture as a poc is unsightly and heretical, but TFS encouraged me to take on the prejudices of others by saying “Here, despite generations being molded into a “perfect” image and so many lives lost in the struggle to live personal truths, ergo sum. Ergo sum and there is nothing wrong with that”.

To me, the Witness’ death showed me that the stains left behind by social structures such as religious imperialism and colonialism can be overcome by people banding together to make the future different from the past. When we embrace the subjectivity of existence, we can create spaces for different views on life to flourish and reconnect with the nuances of this world. We can better the lives of our people, no matter who they are, not by abandoning all cultural practices and ways of life that were deemed meaningless, but by rebuilding our societies to allow for fulfilling lives and self efficacy for all.

My people no longer have to let imperial powers decide our fate for us or decide that we can be nothing other than the „nature of our race“ that they believe is inferior. Instead of looking up at others who asserted themselves as more enlightened for salvation, we can look at each other and realize there is no one truth to life, especially one worth all the devastation and cruelty placed against those who lived differently. The intricacies of life often lead people to belief systems that allow for comfort and understanding, alleviating the anxiety of possibly living an improper life that will forfeit a desirable afterlife. It is up to individuals to decide what makes their life fulfilling and what beliefs will guide their actions, for no one can make your fate but you.

My mother still likes to wear the patterns of the island and keeps paintings of island scenery in her room. She talks on the phone in patois when she doesn’t feel the pressure to be “proper”. She misses her mother because she used to make dishes from home. To relate it to Destiny, she still has the coordinates to her Lubrae in her pyramid despite convincing herself abandoning it all was for the best and there was nothing there worth keeping. I once thought reconnecting with our heritage alongside her would be a frivolous endeavor, but I hope that with time and understanding, the Witness may not have power over her anymore and she won’t look back on her disassociation with relief. Time and understanding will make our island grow and flourish, free to decide what it wants to be, not held back by preconceived notions of the worth of its existence.

Despite all the Witnesses in the world, I will persist on and try to acquaint myself with my culture without shame. The Witness is everything to me because I hope one day it desecrates nothing ever again. I hope the Witness becomes nothing at all and the cultures it has corrupted make themselves something audacious.

Thank you guys so much for reading!! I hope you guys don’t mind the vague language, I chose to spare some details for my own sake and to make the message more applicable!! I’d love to hear the takes of other people about this bc I love hearing people’s perspectives!! And always remember, no one makes your fate but you!!! Go be audacious!!!!

[l1ve-l4ugh-lov3craft]

Marauders Arcane AU Idea Dump Part 2

@taleofapart-timepoet I have more lol But only cos @cheekyboybeth was enabling my madness in the comments of one of our posts

Starting off strong with the rest of my episode 2 ideas:

“Nobody wins in war, Sirius.” That whole conversation is very Alphard to me so we need that I think

Idk if i feel like doing the ‘Jayce almost slip n sliding’ thing so we gotta come up with another way Lily and Panda meet

“What makes you different makes you strong” - use this bit maybe? Idk we’ll see how the rest of the ep plays out for them

Episode 3:

The Silco flashback in the beginning can tie into Riddle’s backstory??? Something something with Alphard

“You’ve got a good heart, never lose it.” - Alphard, Sirius content is WINNING

Possibly do ^^this chapter from Alphard’s POV and then have an interlude that’s Sirius’ POV

Make all that^^ the end of a chapter to leave everyone on a miserable cliffhanger after Alphard gets captured

Start with some pandalilly content the chapter after :)

Have a nice but angsty lil James and Sirius moment when they debrief about Monty dying and Alphard getting caught

Silly goofy scene of mary catching pandalily while they’re trying to break in and get lilly’s research

The whole “you’re not ready” scene needs to HURT

“Crank it” joke required

And then ofc the scene with the hex cores and powder’s freak out moment are ALSO important but we’ll probably tone it down just a little bit to fit regulus’ character a bit better (A/N: okay for this one I imagine a sort of pacing, regulus falling into a bit of an inferiority spiral thinking of all the ways he feels like he's failed Sirius up until then. More of a panic attack then a breakdown cos i feel like that's more his forte)

The entire bit from when vi and crew make it to rescue vander up until the end of the episode will possibly be its own chapter? At least a VERY sizeable chunk of the chapter

^^alternate sirius and regulus POV

We DO have to include the oogly moogly scientist bits with pandora and lily cos that is important

Use the monkey clanging or the individual bomb explosions as a sort of measurement for how fast things happened after regulus throws in the bomb (A/N: OKAY THIS??? Let me see if I can paint a picture properly. I'd love to start the scene with a "As (description of whatever happens and regulus throws in the bomb), (insert number here) things happened all at once." and then describe how the bomb rolls in and bounces. And each time it bounces, do a description of one of the aforementioned things happens. I dunno how to fully describe it, I may have to write out a snippet and make a post on that to fully describe but AGH! it is SO good in my head)

Random Ideas I've Had:

I want to focus a bit more on James and Regulus' relationship in the first few chapters before it all goes to hell so that the scene on the bridge when the two of them will fight hurts as much as it should

not plot related, but it would be LOT to have one fic for season 1 and one fic for season 2. like a sequel. cos pitfighter sirius???? are you fucking KIDDING ME?? I will die

obviously the prison Vi is in is gonna be Azkaban for this AU, so that's super cool

I would LOVE to pay homage to the horcruxes in the way that Silco has his who creepy stuff on his face (idk I don't play league so i don't know the lore

I am THRILLED to have Mary as Mel cos agh! her character arc is going to be FANTASTIC and i love that I get to let Mary commit crimes

OH MY GOSH- I just had the idea to have Barty and Evan as Clagger and Milo and it's going to be FANTASTIC having the two of them haunting the narrative (and regulus' conscience) the way milo and clagger do for jinx

uhhhhhh that's all I have? for now? I think? but I'm certain I'll have more. Thank you for coming to my ted talk :)

[velaryoncoffee]

I need to vent about the hotd fandom

Feel free to ignore if you don't wanna hear someone complain.

I created this blog this week because being on Twitter has been absolutely draining and leaving me in some of the most dejected moods I've been in years. It's not all bad; I've found lovely people in the Lucemond community who love sharing ideas and stories and artwork and edits with each other and they've made me feel very much at home.

The issue is that as official content runs dry I believe a lot of people have taken to creating drama as a source of entertainment and community activity... And they do that by constantly instigating tribalistic fights with "the enemy faction" by insulting characters (and sometimes ships). And as someone who loves all characters, this means I've had to watch people shit on everything I like, absolutely fucking everything, for the past few weeks. It felt silly at first, it didn't bother me or touch sides, but over time it has started to become too much, especially as sassy quips turn to insults that you can tell come from deeply rooted contempt.

My fellow Lucemonders will insult Aemond whenever it's hateo'clock, despite him being half of the ship, if not the driving force behind the ship to begin with (and at this point in the series also being one of the few who actually mourned Lucerys the most). My fellow team black folk will insult Aegon II for the crimes he did in S1, talking about us fans of him and other team green characters like we're unintelligent or built wrong for enjoying these parts of them and analysing their characters in a sympathetic, and in my opinion, a holistic and less biased manner. My fellow team green folk either don't bother getting involved at all, or they're even worse, sending out absolutely abhorrent criminal accusations over the relationships and headcanons we prefer to write and draw. I've had people mass qrt me and my mutuals with godawful things, sometimes resorting to death threats and blatant homophobia.

In pettier/less serious situations like with the character hate I've even tried to engage in friendly discussion to see if I could foster a more proactive and calm environment in my circle, only to get absolutely nowhere. It was as if I'd been talking to a brick wall.

Nobody wants to truly get along. Nobody wants to truly hear other people's opinions. Most, to some degree, are incredibly mean spirited and everybody interprets each other in bad faith. They'd rather throw insults and remain in their incapsulated communities where their side is GOOD and the other side is BAD. There's nearly no real analysis that doesn't involve the other side being bad and irredeemable to some extent. And when you try to write analysis, but someone's fave looks somewhat in a bad light, they attack you for it, as if that character's flaws don't make them that much more interesting as a fan.

As someone who is at their essence team green but loves all characters, and whose favourite ship is mostly populated by team black folk, I end up seeing insults from both sides of the isle. And every single fucking time, from every single person involved, they're throwing insults at things I like. I almost never get involved but I often feel caught in the middle catching strays. They insult characters I like. Literary genres and tropes I like. Relationships I like. THINGS I like and give me happiness and comfort. It's like trying to talk with a friend, but every time you want to tell them about your interests they tell you flat-out it's shit and they refuse to be sympathetic or constructive.

It's been very difficult to navigate this, as someone so starkly in the middle. I have a lovely community on discord that are always peaceful and sweet, and I hope this website is somewhat better. I know it will never be perfect, people are way too passionate and tribalistic across the board in this fandom due to the inherent characteristics of the source material, but I've never struggled this much in a fandom in all my many years online.

I have no conclusion to this, only a warning that I am going through HRT and I'm currently in my testosterone peak, so maybe this is all just a momentary mood swing, like PMS for T-boys. If so, it is what it is; if not, and it ain't what it ain't. Thanks for reading.

[melrosing]

This may sound silly but do you think jaime and cersei caused the war of 5 kings? Not whether their actions served as a catalyst for conflict, but the idea that nothing bad would happen in westeros, everybody would hold hands together and get along, nobody would fell compelled to go commit war crimes if only jaime and cersei didnt summon the demonic forces in the hearts of the good noblemen by not being able to keep it in their pants? (My question may sound loaded but im genuinely curious, maybe im missing something)

I think you could argue they did if you want to be extremely literal about it... but then you can also go back a step further and say, is it all down to Tywin's bad parenting? Then, is it all down to Tytos being an embarrassing dad? Or go a different way and wonder if it's all down to Aerys for being such a freak, or down to Robert for treating Cersei like shit, or Rhaegar or or or etc.

Ultimately the twins' actions are a hugely significant catalyst, but whilst that spark might have set the fireworks off early, there was still going to be Dany waiting in the wings, and Aegon VI, and a host of deeply unhappy Martells, and hey Robert's already practically bankrupt... etc etc. Like sure, you could say Jaime and Cersei set the wheels in motion for this particular version of events, but it also just seems a kind of redundant to argue as much. GRRM rarely seems interested in intricate maps of accountability so much as a broader societal corruption that makes the actions of characters like Jaime and Cersei so outsized and dangerous.

Like tbh, Jaime and Cersei fucking and making kids together is probably the least of their sins lol, certainly where Cersei is concerned. Their relationship is born out of a severely misguided childhood with piss poor parenting from their old dad, plus a whole lot of trauma on both sides. The fact that they continued this relationship, Jaime in the midst of his trauma and Cersei hers, is actually relatively sympathetic even whilst it's disgusting and dangerous. And the fact that this fucked up relationship of theirs that they've had since they were children somehow becomes so tangled up in the security of the realm that their being found out is enough to set the entire WO5K in motion.... is a far bigger problem than the twins themselves.

Like GRRM talks about the butterfly effect a whole lot with his writing, but the point of the butterfly effect is never to blame the butterfly for everything that happens afterwards. even if the butterfly is a cunt

[ghoulishhgayy]

smoshblr tag game (but a little late 👀)

tagged by the very cool @poppyfamily

1. How long have you been watching Smosh?

I’ve been a viewer for about five years. There were phases where I watched strictly the main channel or only TNTL or only watched for certain cast members though. But when Anthony came back I became OBSESSED. I’ve been watching everything they’ve been putting out since.

2. Favourite Smosh cast member(s)?

Amanda. Shocker, I know. The first video I saw her in was when she played Jenga dressed as Velma from Scooby Doo. As a gay girl who dressed up as Velma many times as a child, I felt seen. I then binged any video she touched. I'm in love with her style and character work.

3. Favourite pairing?

Amangela. Another shocker. These girls just make me laugh like nobody else. I was also a big starkid fan back in the day so this just makes sense. Shourtney also warms my soul.

4. Favourite recurring character?

Sarah Christ. I grew up on true crime and shitty cop shows and Amanda nails this character. The gruff cop with a complicated relationship with love was always my favorite trope. However, Amadeus Whitmore was also a joy. I was ecastic every time he came back. Chanse and Amanda just lose themselves in their characters which make them the most engaging to me.

5. Favourite Smosh video?

Oh, I have too many. I’ll just do ones from the past year. I’ve seen that Incoherent video a silly amount of times to not mention it. Love is Blind 1 is Academy award winning cinema to me. Spencer has also been killing it lately, specifically in darts and Gentlemen’s Don’t Win Mario Party. I love dude’s out of nowhere humor. Oh my god and the PODCAST. The Tommy eps and the most recent one slayed. We’re truly in a renaissance

6. First video that got you into Smosh?

I truthfully don’t remember. My most recent phase was definitely jump-started by the Let’s Get Talking with the celebrity look-alikes though. It was the perfect intro to the new cast.

7. Favourite picture of the cast?

still spellbound from the funeral photo shoot. I couldn’t even pick a favorite, everybody brought their A-game that day. I do love these girl though ⬇️

8. Favourite picture of your fave?

Giving you multiple because I love them all

9. What Smosh series do you want to see more of?

Don’t win!!! Nothing makes me laugh harder than those Mario party videos. It’d also be cool to see the dont win concept carry over to other games

10. Dream guest on Smosh Mouth?

Matpat or Markiplier. I feel like it would be the perfect mix of Shayne nerding out and Amanda trying her best to follow

Since I’m a bit late to reply, I think all my smoshblr mutuals already answered these questions. So I tag any interested party who sees this !!

[queenofsliferred]

✨🎯🌂 💚🍎🍩 for Beatrice Lacrimae, Lavinia Sparda-Amata, None, K and... I can see you have Kingdom Hearts on your OC page, but nobody is listed. :<

Oh, and Emiri Satou and Anemone from your non-fandom OCs!

(I'll include my KH ocs for you ;) )

OC Ask Game

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?

Beatrice Lacrimae was just me looking for characters in Dante's Inferno/Divine Comedy but I didn't realize that Trish was literally Beatrice ahgufddgusdf. But I got attached to Beatrice so pfpf. Lacrimae I believe was latin for tears and I thought that it was #deep.

Lavinia Amata was also a Dante's Inferno situation :)! Lavinia is the daughter of Amata, Latinus' queen, and uhhhh. uhh it sounded pretty LMAO.

None was 100% me making a mistake during the character creation screen where I.. forgot to put in a name. So when she was introducing characters in the game she came up as just "None" and I thought it was really funny gshdf. Then I thought she could have an actual name but goes by None to represent her mental state; Nunally is a Code Geass character I like and Wenonah is a native american name meaning First-daughter.

K was me picking a letter that wasn't used (at the time...) in Death Note that was close to L. She originally was going to use the codename "Kami" because I was really silly as a 12 year old learning broken Japanese. I picked the name Katherine Kilgore as an adult because I thought it sounded nice!

Kitana, one of my KH OCs, was the name of my cousin that I really liked. I used her first and last name originally but changed her last name to Garrison when reuploading the story to AO3 as an adult.

Nerissa just sounded nice and kingdom hearts-y hehe.

Emiri was the name of a Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya character I liked despite her small appearance. Satou is a common Japanese name!

Anemone was an aquatic flower that fits the floral themeing of my magical girl group hehe.

🎯 -What do they do best?

Beatrice is probably best at showing off her #sick and #elite sharpshooter skills and scythe. Though, outside of that she's a sewing pro and made a lot of the over the top "lolita-esque" outfits herself. She also makes a rly mean stirfry noodle according to Kyrie :}

Lavinia is prolly best at singing; she can go from operatic sopranos that can shatter glass to deep scary metal growls. She's also really good at like vocal impressiosn too? It's fucking weird lol.

None, if you asked her, would say she's best at sexual stuff due to her past. She doesn't like to talk about it too much though, or rather, think about it too deeply. She's good at small weapons and diplomacy.

K is supposedly a mathematical genius but I, the creator, am terrible at math so please just believe me.

Kitana was supposedly TEH KEYBLADE MASTERESS so take that as you will, haha.

Nerissa likes playing struggle and soccer but isn't sure if she's actually the best at it.

Emiri is best at child rearing and being a cheerleader. She's also amazing at organization and team management, its how she can manage to volunteer so often.

Anemone is pretty good at gymnastics and acrobatics.

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

Beatrice: Comedic Romance, Action

Lavinia: Comedy, Dramedy

None: Post-apocalyptic drama, erotica, tragedy

K: "Crime thriller", romance, tragedy

Kitana: Romantic comedy, emphasis on the comedy

Nerissa: Slice of life, romantic comedy

Emiri: Slice of Life, NTR/Cheating, Erotica

Anemone: Erotica, action-adventure, romance, magical girl

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

Beatrice: Cis fem, bisexual

Lavinia: Feminine (demi-girl?), pansexual

None: Cis fem, bisexual with male-lean

K: Cis fem, demisexual

Kitana: Cis fem, straight

Nerissa: Cis fem, bisexual with fem lean

Emiri: Cis fem, bisexual with male lean

Anemone: Trans fem, pansexual

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

Beatrice doesn't know her father who was supposedly a demon and her mother was ill and very distant for her. Its... not the best. Not hostile but not good.

Lavinia thinks that her father is Sparda and that he's complete scum for abandoning her mother. She never met the demon but has a difficult relationship with the concept of him. How could someone who saved the world be so selfish and vile? She was also manipulated by her "angelic" mother, Amata, who taught her to hate Sparda and his sons. She loves her mother but is the one who ultimately ends her life.

None thinks she loves her parents. They did their best to raise her but didn't protect her and outright enabled bad people without realizing. It's incredibly distant even before she's sent out to the Wasteland.

K is an orphan with little to no memory of her birth parents and was not adopted as Whammy's House found her too valuable to be adopted out. She treasures her relationship with Whammy/Watari though.

Kitana was close to her parents. Standard parent-child relationship where its strained due to teenage hormones and not feeling like she's truly understood. She's closer to her mom than her step-dad though. She doesn't realize how hard her family is looking for her when she's stuck in the Kingdom Hearts world though.

Nerissa is in a similar scenario as Kitana. They're close and love each other very much, they butt heads but at the end of the day... it's all good.

Emiri is close to her father, Eitaro. MAYBE A LIL TOO CLOSE-- Her relationship with her mother is fine. They all love another.

Anemone is an orphan unfortunately :(. She doesn't remember her parents and had to take care of herself.

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

Beatrice: At first, she thinks its Kyrie but ultimately falls for her just like she did Nero lol. She has a friendly 'rivalry' with Nero whenever they're on missions together though.

Lavinia: Her momther, ultimately, after she learns the truth about Sparda.

None: FUCK DA OVERSEER *makes him explode*

K: Light Yagami...

Kitana: Seifer and eventually Xemnas/Xehanort if I ever got that far in her story LOL.

Nerissa: fuck that seifer guy amirite *grossly makes out with him*

Emiri: No one really, she gets along with everyone.

Anemone: the demon lord, Lovena, who created her and the other Magical Maidens.

thank u for the ask!!!

[mssboo]

HIIIIII!!!! It's Missing Frederick Hours™️ and I need more content with him so do you have any hcs about him or his relationships with other characters like Marie and Werner?

He's totally okay and fine and doing fantastic in my mind idk what everyone else is talking about <3 (delusion)

MY TIME HAS COME FINALLY THANK YOU FOR BRINGING THIS UP LOVELYY 💘😙🫧💕💓💘 here we go, brace yourselves😎

- HE IS A BIG BIG FAN OF SOUP like he LOVES soup, he loves liquid, he loves broth

- big fan of spicy korean food 🪭

- knows how to play piano, violin, cello and guitar because his mother made him learn it since he was little, but his favourite is the trumpet (bc it’s silly 😙 and he likes the sound and scaring werner with it)

- BUG BIG BIG SWIFTIE (his favourite song is this love) AND HUNGER GAMES FAN

- his favourite drink is hot cocoa

- he and marie-laure twin overalls whenever they can and fred jokes nobody can tell them apart now that they are twins <33

- also, loves going shell and snail hunting with marie

- his second favourite animal is the octopus because jutta and marie once took him to the aquarium (until then he hadn’t been in one bc BORING MOTHER) and once he saw it he couldn’t lock eyes with anything else and became enamoured by the octopus

- NOBODY got him out until werner got out of work and had to practically drag him out

- since then he goes to see him and calls them alejandro the octopus

- marie first thought he and werner were in a homoerotic relationship and they couldn’t emotionally recover from that

- rice boy in marie’s and werner’s wedding (AND PROUD HELL YEAH)

- ALWAYS FORGETS HIS GLASSES

- he once found them in the trash bin of jutta’s room and yet nobody knows how the hell did they end up there

- whenever bored, does a british accent

- probably aroace!!!

- his secret pleasure are dating shows and werner makes fun of him (he secretly watches them with fred but would never admit he likes it)

- werner and fred have been expelled SEVERAL times because they are dumb as hell

- once they tried to sneak into the school a giant river fish inside a water tank bc fred wanted to study it and they broke the tank and the fish died in the middle of the hallway at like 2 am

- they were both sent to spend the night outside

- hes a little jolly guy and enjoys doing his lil dances <333

- carries a old camera everywhere just for the aesthetic pictures

- people either call him fred or fredde, but his friends call him friederich the mighty (ironically, because he is a sweety and could never be THAT mighty), herzblatt = heart leaf (jutta and werner), lovebug (often used dearly by marie yet fred pretends he doesn’t like it) and freddy

- he and jutta are practically best friends and they both listen to true crime podcasts during the night while they have soup <3

- KNOWS HOW TO KNIT AND MAKES SILLY LITTLE JUMPERS FOR HIS BESTIES

HOPE YOU LIKE THEM LY💘🧡💓💙🐚🌊

[pinklemonade333]

“I’m looking at you!” C!crime and Authority:

I was watching some old L’Manberg vods, and I came across a moment that is really interesting to look back on after Wilbur’s finale.

(All c! btw)

In Wilbur’s vod from September 3 2020, Wilbur and Tommy are standing on the wall, just talking casually about the events of the sever, when Tommy says, in a teasing way “Look at me when I’m talking.” to which Wilbur responds “Don’t tell me what to do.” and knocks him off the wall. Tommy rants at him while Wilbur just keeps repeating “Who’s the president?” over and over until Tommy relents. Notably, this is the same vod where Wilbur laments that nobody listens to him, calling back to the moment where Tommy ignored him when he was trying to negotiate with Dream, causing the duel to take place. I think it’s pretty cool that this silly little action at the start of the stream ties so seamlessly into what Wilbur has been feeling about his role in L’Manberg.

This dynamic isn’t confined to this moment either, Wilbur constantly, especially throughout this vod, but also at earlier times throughout the formation of L’Manberg, will order Tommy around, and Tommy usually ends up going along with it, even if he complains. Don’t misunderstand, they’re still on good terms and enjoying each other’s company, and a lot of this is very lighthearted, but their dynamic seemingly makes it harder for Tommy to get Wilbur to listen to him, as Wilbur often acts as the authority in the relationship. For someone as supposedly uncontrollable as Tommy, Wilbur seems to be pretty good at controlling him.

Now there’s Boundless Sands, where the dynamic is reversed, but in a less lighthearted way. Tommy is the one telling Wilbur off, specifically getting angry and yelling “Look at me!” Wilbur tries telling him to “calm down” but it’s not until Wilbur relents by saying “I’m looking at you!” and agreeing to talk that Tommy stops. That’s the line that came to mind after watching this earlier interaction, and thus inspiring me to make this post. Wilbur, in that moment, is listening to what Tommy wants. The implications of the fact that Tommy needed to pull out a sword to make that happen isn’t lost on me, but I think it’s a step forward for Wilbur that he stopped, listened, and did what Tommy asked him to, even when the threat had passed. I wonder if he realized in that moment just how much Tommy had changed. He wasn’t his right hand man anymore.

It’s... probably unintentional parallels, but it’s a sign of good storytelling regardless, I think, how their dynamic has realistically transformed through the years.

[practicingbushiho]

FFXIV DISCOURSE (CSA ment, sorry)

So, when I first noticed this fandom's bizarre sexualization of Yotsuyu, I tried to ignore it. It was just people being silly, and 'step on me' jokes were cringe, but I didn't make any noise about it because I just concluded that they were responding for japes. I need to talk about the way this fandom interacts with Yotsuyu as a character. And this will be the one post I allow myself to do so.

Recently, a blog was made to poll the 'fuckable' status of characters in the FF series; and it got to the point where Yotsuyu became a candidate. I, and maybe two others that I could see, were pretty unkosher with that; because Yotsuyu in the context of her canon was a tragic woman who was killed after a life of abuse and sex trafficking; and that happens to people IRL literally every day.

I was willing to accept that they would maybe just ignore people's remarks about that-- because at the end of it, most fandom wants to forget about narrative contexts so that they can have fun and not have to examine any behaviors that might make them feel guilty or uncomfortable. I'd have been alright with just being ignored completely.

I made the mistake of thinking that perhaps if they were called on it by more than just myself, that there would be some genuine reflection and thought discourse about the complexities of how being forced into sex work really damages your psyche and the way you interact with sex and sexuality. As someone who was put to survival-based sex work for a couple of years, I'd have been willing to weigh in with a legitimate conversation in good faith, if I felt I would be received with any seriousness.

But instead, they doubled down and insisted that whatever trauma they may or may not have endured themselves could be compared to being a victim of sex trafficking that eventually ended in actual murder, and in doing so missed the point in its entirety. I personally can't accept that.

So, I unfollowed the blog, and I gotta be real; if you agree with the sentiment that it's okay to flippantly sexualize Yotsuyu as a character simply because she is a fictional character that MAY have in another existence reclaimed her sexual agency in a way that wasn't horrifically self-destructive...block me. I'm so serious.

This is going to be the last I speak on her as a character publicly within fandom spaces. I need people to understand that having an abusive relationship, or being assaulted in childhood is awful; but it does not make you qualified to play armchair psychologist about people who have endured decades of sex trafficking, an industry in which so few escape alive.

Further, weaponizing your personal trauma as an explanation to absolve yourself of the guilt of sexualizing a character that in their OWN canon would revile you for doing so by saying it is people trying to punish "thought crimes" is integrally lazy and doesn't at all examine the criticism being made.

Nobody said that former abuse victims don't seek or desire acceptance. Nobody said that former abuse victims don't heal and eventually enjoy being sexualized. I for one am both of those things, and I am happily horny and unhinged in spite of a childhood of abuse and CSA.

It is more that it is a character assassination to blindly sexualize a character that would not want to be objectified. And in her canon, she never reaches a point where we can even hope to conceptualize that journey of self-acceptance within her. And because they are fictional, you think those feelings exist in a vacuum; but they do not.

If you are honestly using Yotsuyu to understand the abuse you endured in your personal life; I think that is a good thing. I think that privately or in small groups, character dialogues like hers are actually incredibly important to consider on an intimate level!

I do not think it is a good thing to put her in a fuckability poll for the fun of it. And those two things are not comparable to me at all. I'm not going to waste my time trying to get what I view as inexperienced children to understand the difference. What they are doing is what I see to be bad faith acting, and I'm not going to bite directly; but I did want to say how I felt about the decision personally, because what happened to her is something I have witnessed, and in many cases experienced when I was young.

And I would not want my sexual agency to be viewed through the lens of someone else's self-actualization for a fucking joke poll. The fucking end.

[joy-returns-in-the-morning]

Okay just finished watching all of Downton Abbey!! here are some thoughts. sorry for the length but I need to get this out of my system this has no particular order or reason I am just wringing out my mind like a dirty washcloth.

I feel like everybody here looooves Thomas. Probably like 90% of the Downton Abbey fanfiction on Ao3 are about Thomas. Um you guys know there are other characters in this show right? So I know it's unoriginal. But. I have to admit it. Thomas is my favourite and i love him <3

like they would be talking at dinner about Important Plot Things and Thomas is in the background serving appetizers and I'm like lol. there's Thomas. Then I'd have to rewind cuz I wasn't paying attention

but man he is so nasty at the beginning haha I think people forget that sometimes

I told my (blissfully offline) friend that I like him and she's like, why??? He's so mean???

IDK I like him BECAUSE he is mean! He's terrible and nasty and I like him for it!!

because like why should he be nice anyways? Should he be GRATEFUL to have the immense privilege of holding the door open for someone?? he's been handed an unfair lot in life and why should he be happy about it? poor little meow meow <3 <3

the costumes are sooo pretty. So glamourous! So beautiful! A real feast for the eyes. But like, it does seem all rather silly sometimes lol. Do you really need to wear a special outfit just to dinner. Do you really need so many staff to wait on five people XD

So I actually quite liked Tom's relationship with the family by the end of the series (especially him and Mary) their friendship is very sweet but Tom's arc still frustrates me soooooo much. Like oh yeah suuuure you're all about socialism and equality when you have to drive people around for a living but then you happen to marry a lady and suddenly you're all about upholding the same classist structures that once held you down. 🙄 What ever happened to your PRINCIPLES man?!! He has all the political backbone of a jellyfish. 

And like, Miss Bunting and even Miss Braithwaithe were RIGHT about Tom but they were made out to be SOOO obnoxious, like they were unreasonably painted as villains but at the core of it they were RIGHT. He WAS getting uppity. He WAS forgetting his roots.

Lord Grantham’s like "ooooh it's so sad those terrible brutal communists have been killing those poor innocent Russian aristocrats, oooh how horrifying i do not condone violence and killing" Yeah, but like... it's not as if the Russian peasants weren’t dying brutally at the hands of the rich and powerful for centuries. You weren't crying about it then.

Vera and Lavinia were like the same character to me. The same except so far the opposite it swung around to being the same. Vera was absurdly evil and Lavinia absurdly good and they both served no purpose except to be the obstacle to the One True Pairing 🙄

also Mr. Gregson's wife! Do we even learn her name? Poor lady is having a terrible time of it imprisoned in a mental hospital and literally nobody cares. :/ So much for those wedding vows, "in sickness and in health"

I think! Thomas and O'Brien's friendship is cute! so under-rated. partners in crime. they're in cahoots. >:3c Too bad it had to end like it did :(((

I think the plot with Jimmy would have been more interesting if Jimmy actually HAD led Thomas to believe he had a chance. Like if Jimmy's maybe having some weird feelings he doesn't know how to deal with. But then when push comes to shove Jimmy decides he just doesn't want to risk it and acts all offended to save his own reputation. Because as it is it felt like... a little too sudden. Or maybe I just feel too embarrassed on Thomas's behalf that he made such a mistake.

Anna and Mr. Bates. Ugh. I found their romance SO boring and tedious, so many obstacles were thrown in their way I forgot why they even wanted to be together in the first place. one of the worst subplots and they NEVER let it go

 Daisy was saying a lot of nasty things too by the end of the show honestly. But nooo Thomas is the mean one

 I feel like there is some sort of parallel that could be drawn between Ethel and Thomas. Or I'm not sure if it's a parallel but... how do I put this. If you think that Thomas's lot is unfair, then what happened to Ethel was also unfair. Because what did she do, really? The same thing I bet everyone on here wants Thomas to do. We all love Thomas but nobody really cares about Ethel. :/ idk I thought she had spunk and ambition and it's a shame they had to reduce her to a "fallen woman" subplot

it's so stupid that everyone had to get paired off at the end. Personally I don't see why Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes had to get married. oh the amatonormativity

on the other hand I think Mary and Carlisle should have married lol. XD Yeah they'd be unhappy. but they are suited for each other and it would certainly be INTERESTING haha (dunno how serious i am about this)

Edith’s outfits were always the nicest in my opinion. loved her colour scheme!

everyone's always like "oooohh noo our way of life is dying this is so sad" :((( I mean I guess?? It's sort of sad??? But ultimately. I Do Not Care about the lives of the British Aristocracy.

fun show all round

[spiralstereo]

TRR [Team Rainbow Rocket] Headcanons Part 2!!

[this one is gonna be shorter then the last sorri lolzies]

-Lusamine-

She kinda exists. Nobody knows what happened to her after all that Ultra Beast shit. She's only really mentioned time to time from Giovanni

Aether Foundation is also kinda gone. I mean, the combination of Lusamine & the Nihilego stuff & TRR taking over, there's nothing else they can really do. Atleast Lillie & Gladion are free now <3

-Guzma-

Bisexual. Has a thing for DILFs & muscular women [Plumeria but they're more like hopeless romantic besties lmao]

He at first wanted to join TRR, but then kinda wanted to be 'different'- also Team Skull wasn't really like evil or anything. They just kinda liked doing petty crime & messing with little kids. Respectable

Still talks with Giovanni. Giovanni is genuinely a chill & reasonable guy, so they don't have any problems with each other. He also kinda found out about Giovanni's thing for Nanu &- it made it a little awkward but now Guzma is starting to realize that Giovanni might need some help-

Unironically has a crush on Ghetsis. It's either the fact that he was drunk & Ghetsis overdressed like usual, or maybe just Guzma's thing for DILFs- but yeah. He still fucking crushes on him, even tried to hit on him. Didn't end well & everyone is concerned about him

Admires Archie. They share dumbass energy, & sometimes hung out whenever Archie wasn't with his surfer boyfriends. Also dislikes Maxie, probably because the first time they met Maxie's judgy ass called him a dick

-Colress-

Aroace. Bro has never even had the thought of being in a relationship X3

Absolutely despises Ghetsis. Hates him & everything he is & stands for. He's absolutely disgusted by the horrible acts he commits & would absolutely kill him if had the chance [oops spoiler-]

Came to TRR after he found out they were going to a party Team Skull had hosted, & there was alcohol. Ghetsis is a party drinker & gets violent when drunk. Also, Guzma had thought it would be a great idea to get the fancy [very alcoholic] wine Ghetsis drinks. That's asking for something bad to happen

Really wanted to befriend Maxie, after finding out he was also a scientist & they could get to know each other. Also admired his work despite being in a completely different field

Gets along really well with N, & is saddened that N believes that Ghetsis is still a good person. They're like besties, but N cares so damn much about Ghetsis it's so fucking sad

Thats all! Sorry it's short. I'll give out more info about this sillies later haha

Alrighty y'know what time it is heheh

TRR [Team Rainbow Rocket] Headcanons!!

[keep in mind this is just my AU you can have your own, this is just how I see these idiots]

[Also- yes I ship Lysandre & Cyrus, because I have my AU & my opinions, so don't like demonetize me saying some other ship is better stfu-]

-Giovanni-

Pansexual. Always been a little fruity, especially since he was a teen, & kinda crushes on Nanu- that's unrelated tho <3

Short as fuck. Like I mean this dude is 5 foot tall, whenever you see like photos of him with the rest of Team Rocket, he's usually standing on a fucking step-stool

Has rlly bad anxiety & shit like that, also takes antidepressants & medication because his mental health used to be rlly rlly bad [because of Ariana & just stressing out about managing Team Rocket] & he'll get like that bad if he goes long enough without them

Actually a decent father unlike his canon counterparts. Took care of Silver instead of putting him up for adoption after Ariana left, basically had to juggle trying not to be a deadbeat dad & managing a big mafia lmao. Silver turned out decent- he doesn't hate Giovanni so yippee!! [they actually get along whoa]

Absolutely fucking hates Professor Oak, due to some *personal* issues in the past.

Can cook rlly good. He actually wanted to get into culinary classes & shit but he got expelled out of highschool & then disowned so that was crushed along with his will to live

-Maxie-

Trans [FTM] Archie is rlly the only one who knows, because he's a nosy fucker lmao. Still has rlly bad body dysphoria- explaining all the layers & oversized jacket [didn't get top surgery because he's a chicken shit so he just wears a binder 24/7]

Not actually from Hoenn [surprise surprise!!]- originally from Orre but moved to Hoenn because it was transphobic as fuck & it genuinely just sucked lolz

One of the only sane ones in TRR, also actually smart [like he didn't wanna like dry up all the water he just wanted to make more islands in Hoenn- still a dangerous method haha]

Salty as fuck. Will find something annoying or unlikable about you, he doesn't care who the hell you are he will do it. Also, he fucking hates Archie- probably cuz he screws up his damn research & drags him along lmao

Overworks himself all the damn time, & has a bad habit of putting himself in uncomfortable situations- such as choosing his admins. Maybe he should've gotten to know Courtney & Tabitha more before making them the Team Magma admins [oki oki but Tabitha gives off the vibes that he streams League of Legends in a damn maid outfit every night. Also I don't like Courtney because she just gives off those creep vibes eugh]

-Archie-

Gay & polyamorous. All the surfer guys in Alola are NOT fucking safe because he's there lmao. Also him & Matt are exes, but since no hard feelings they're still friends

Aggressive wholesomeness 24/7- also THE ultimate extrovert who tries to be on good terms with everyone except if you're Ghetsis because if you're Ghetsis fuck you [he's an absolute sweetheart but also a dumbass]

Dumb as fuck. Half the shit he pulls he just did because he felt like it or he was bored- he doesn't have a goddamn reason he just fucking did it

His Sharpedo's name is Grace. This is very important because Grace is love Grace is life

Gives everyone stupid nicknames & makes horrible jokes & puns. Sometimes it's fucking unbearable because they're so damn cheesy & Maxie is yelling from across the room telling him to shut the fuck up but he thinks he's goddamn hilarious

-Cyrus-

Greysexual. Attracted to his opposite [sweet cute guys aka Lysandre]

He's emo guys!!! Omg real!!! If he's not wearing his Galactic uniform he's wearing oversized grunge style clothing- you will never see him wearing anything with colour. Also yes he wears eyeliner & people assume he wears eyeshadow but nah that's just his dark ass eyebags

He's a fucking empath & it's hilarious. He hates it because he tries so damn hard to ignore his emotions which only makes his already rapidly declining mental health worse

Horrible sleep schedule & just terrible at taking care of himself in general. He's running off of goddamn energy drinks & coffee- he won't sleep unless he passes out from exhaustion lmao. Also he only rlly eats like popcorn [which is usually like he's up at 2 in the morning watching a space documentary & he just binge eats it because he hasn't eaten in two weeks or something]

THE ultimate space nerd. If you even mention something space related he will give you a detailed explanation or description about said space thing- also he's got Team Galactic's base is all space themed & they have millions of dollars worth of stolen space tech lmao [autism moment yes Cyrus is autistic]

Has an engineering degree, also graduated highschool when he was 16 & got into college early. Moved out of his parents' house the second he had enough money

-Ghetsis-

Aroace. The most hardcore aroace guy out there. He has trouble with love & shit due to trauma, which also kinda makes it hard for him to admit that he does fucking care about N [he doesn't deserve N]

Do I really have to explain that this guy is fucking insane? Do I? [He's got actual BPD & he's narcissistic as hell but he's just gotten worse. Also autistic but that's not rlly- bad]

He looks like he'd be homophobic- but he's not. He just hates everyone. Also he's not like sexist or anything like that too

The most stylish & extra person you'll meet. He has a giant wardrobe & has all his clothes custom tailored- he has outfits for certain occasions & times, & he absolutely HAS to have the finest of jewelry & has to get himself all dolled up too. Bro is also feminine as hell sometimes. He knows he's fucking pretty

Has the most random talents & hobbies. I mean, he can swordfight- & also knows gardening?? Wha??? Also very musically talented- he plays 'elegant' instruments like the piano & harp

A goddamn drama queen. If his temper wasn't bad enough don't even get started on how damn overdramatic this asshole is. I swear Colress is so done with his shit

-Lysandre-

Asexual/Demiromantic. Attracted to everyone but preferably men, also will only be attracted to someone if he feels like he has an emotional bond with someone lol

Kinda on the dumber side. Also slow on things, like figuring out what he's actually doing. Genuinely a very sweet & kind person, also a bit of a crybaby but that's unimportant [undiagnosed ADHD]

He's a goddamn baker. He has a degree in business & finances or something- only because his parents made him. He's just an idiot lion baker man. That's also the only reason he took over Team Flare, the old leader kinda just appeared in an alley & told him he could have a bakery if he took up the offer lmaoo

Actually from another universe where he got shot by the Ultimate Weapon, but got swip swapped by Colress because why not!! Because it was a blast full of Xerneas's power [the whimsical deer fairy Pokemon of fucking life] he's immortal. He also can't get like injured- he'll just regenerate

He looks so goddamn intimidating- & he's oblivious to it. Half the time it's because he partially has a resting bitch face or he's squinting because he's kinda far-sighted. Whenever someone says something about it he just gets so fucking confused lmaoo

Thats all for now! I'll do a part 2 & maybe some extras for other characters like Colress- but yeah this is all for now lolzies

[saikokirakira]

Steven Has a Girlfriend (Steven Grant x Bakunawa!Reader Intro pt.2)

a/n: i know, i know. it's been dull and short. layla's up next, and i promise it'll be more interesting. next update will be next tuesday, same time. :)

Prev: I. Steven pt.1 | Next: II. Layla pt.1 | AU Masterlist

warning: steven being a sweetheart; bakunawa committing steven hate crime; proofread and edited one (1) time

It was odd.

It was definitely odd.

Steven’s dating life has always been bleak and ended up with a lot of confusion on his part.

But his relationship with you has been running… way too smoothly.

Since the first ‘date,’ you conveniently showed up to his work, having looked him up on the National Art Gallery employee list.

Steven mentally heaved out a sigh.

At least he wasn’t being a creep since he did exactly the same thing, only bad at it.

All searches he pulled up were your works rather than where to find you.

“I heard the best guide is here in the gift shop.”

Steven’s heart swelled at you remembering what he said at dinner three days ago.

Most of your dates were showing up during Steven’s lunch break every other day and him showing you his favourite exhibits.

Being your own personal tour guide — it was almost too good to be true.

Steven’s sleep disorder was still running rampant with him blacking out for a few days.

He finds some texts in his phone of him still oddly replying to your messages every day.

He also noticed how you would also go missing for a few days.

Steven believes it’s you acquiring a few art pieces or delivering finished pieces for clients.

There was absolutely no reason for you to suspect each other of any secrets.

It was simply two individuals in a casually going on dates with each other.

When you and Steven hit the one-month mark, he wondered if both of you were going too slow.

You knew right away that Steven was uncomfortable.

How couldn’t you? Bakunawa berated the guy's timidness in your head all the time.

Yet the serpent deity was also the very reason why you were able to find Steven, so you weren't in the right spot to argue.

“Steven, is there something you want to tell me?”

Steven immediately stiffened up before fidgeting from where he stood.

You held his hand and sat him down on the park bench.Spit it out, wimp.

You mentally shushed Bakunawa in your head, then smiled assuredly to Steven.

“Why are you dating me?”

Okay, you did not expect the question.

And Bakunawa was also iffed on your behalf, hissing threateningly.

The deity seal marked on your back began to slither over your shoulder.

Even though it did nothing, you still gripped at your wrist with your free hand as if it would stop him from moving.

You controlled your shared temper with the deity and squeezed Steven’s hand.

“Because I like you, silly.”

Steven smiled, his cheeks growing warm. Then he raised your joined hands, bringing them to his lips.

“I’m… not well.”

He proceeded to tell you about his sleep disorder, his missing time, why he was always late for work.

It didn’t make sense to you. You and Steven texted every day.

“I guess I still want to talk to you even while I’m asleep.”

“Then we’ll make it work.”

“What?”

WHAT?

Mastering it for the past decade, Bakunawa’s roars barely made you flinch now despite the booming volume making your ears ring.

“Nobody said this will be easy, Steven. I like you; you like me. We’ll work on our issues together, okay?”

Steven can only nod dumbly.

You proceeded to lean in. “Can I kiss you?”

“Please do.” Steven nodded with fervor.

He actually met you halfway out of his own eagerness.

It was sweet and shy with a little yearning for something deeper, something more passionate.

In due time. You mused to yourself.

A clink of coins a few feet away broke the cloud of your romantic spell.

"Hey, old chap! I got meself a girlfriend!”

You laughed at Steven’s gleeful cheer and glanced at the elderly man donned in golden statue clothing.

He was busy entertaining a group of tourists but managed to give Steven a side glance.

If he could smile, he would probably return Steven’s cheers.

“Let’s go, puppy.”

Steven happily held your hand right until you drove him home to his flat.

[moxfirefly]

So I’ve been working on this for a little while now after a comment @supershiny-raven left on one of my post. I present to you:

How the others find out you and the turtles are dating.

Raphael entered the Lair with you in his arms. His brothers stumbling by him, Leonardo actually tripping.

The gang had gone to drink at Vern’s fancy penthouse, a round of drinks had turned to four and before anybody had common sense he had broken out his fancy wine collection.

That had truly been everyone’s undoing.

Yours as well.

Raphael the tank had pretty much only gotten buzzed, even more so upon seeing your state he figured he needed to somehow get you and everyone else home safe and in one piece.

“Where do we dump Donnie?” April had one of his arms slung over her shoulder while Mikey had his other, they had quickly found out the purple banded terrapin was a fan of wine. “Whatever is flat and comfortable, you think you can manage him and Leo?” Raphael nudged his older brother who had dozed off while resting against the couch.

“Yeah yeah brah, we totally-“ He unceremoniously let his brother fall on the nearest cot, poor April taken along for the ride. “Shit, sorry girly”

Raph shook his head, you groaned stirring awake and tightening your hold on him. Raph was basically carrying you with one arm beneath your rear. Making his way towards his room he gently placed you on his bed and set about the task of removing your shoes. “Hey hey mister, I got a boyfriend” You squinted at the large terrapin at the end of the bed.

“Yeah I heard, lucky guy gets to put ya drunk ass to bed, where’s your makeup bag baby?” He got up when you half hazardously pointed at the dresser.

Pushing yourself up a little on your elbows you watched him gather your face creams and a pack of makeup wipes. He sat back down but next to you and motioned towards his lap. “C’mere, let’s get your face off” You giggled when he manhandled you onto his thigh and took out the wipes. Slowly and in the most excruciatingly loving way Raphael set out to wipe off your makeup. Each stroke removing foundation and eyeshadow, you mumbled something he somehow understood in your inebriated state. “Yeah yeah I got ya kid” With all the careful dexterity he developed over time, he gently removed your eyelashes.

“Somebody has been paying attention” You giggled, feeling the buzz in your body shift into grogginess. Raphael looked inside the bag, adding some cream to your face to hydrate it. He examined his work, a lazy smile as he caressed your face. It felt bizarre he could actually do this, touch a beautiful girl and do something so silly as help them out with their face routine. The two of you had been rather quiet about your relationship, enjoying it all to yourselves.

“Ya were the cutest drunk at that party” He ran his knuckles across your chin, You smiled sleepily lifting up enough to catch his lips in a languid kiss.

The door creaked open and there stood April, her own slightly drunk face breaking out into a sweet smile. The two pairs of eyes that landed on her read ‘get out’ and ‘keep your mouth shut’ slowly April backed up nodding with a giggle.

Then there was a ruckus of what Raphael only assumed was April tripping and Leo drunkly laughing his ass off.

____________

Michelangelo

Oh he was screwed.

So insanely screwed.

How could he misplace something he kept on his person so diligently?

Mikey turned over everything he could in his room, currently he had done just that with the mattress but to no avail.

His phone was missing.

His phone with that very scandalous polaroid you’d taken for him.

Mikey had nearly passed out when you gifted him the picture and to his delight he had stuck the polaroid on the back of his phone in its clear phone case. He kept his phone on him all the time, sure he’d have to be a little sneaky about placing it down but he could manage.

Now though? He was about to have a coronary.

Okay, currently in this disaster there was no trace of it. This meant he’d have to scavenge the living room.

Where his family was.

Mikey swallowed and scurried out with a silent prayer that it would there.

Raphael and Leonardo were currently watching a basketball game. They seemed pretty engrossed and perhaps wouldn’t notice that he was scouring the ends of the earth for his actual girlfriend’s literal boobs. He peaked aglance at the couch, his large brothers had to take up so much space to make it worse.

“What are you looking for?” Came Donnie’s voice from the kitchen. The orange banded turtle froze, he tried giving him a nonchalant shrug. “Just checking how I can give Raph a wedgie ya know” Donnie raised a brow ridge, mug of coffee to his lips.

“I double dare ya numbnuts, the Knicks are down ten points and I’m pissed” Raph grunted as the opposing team landed another shot and Leo sighed exasperated with the outcome. His eldest brother got up thankfully which allowed him to take a look at the that side of the sofa. To his dread but relief there wasn’t anything.

Where the fuck was his phone?!

“Hey snot face, can ya order a pizza?” Raph grumbled as the game seem to worsen, a pizza could fix up his mood. Mikey frozen, mouthing a series of ‘shit shit shit’ as he frantically looked around.

“Oh man that would fix this terrible game, can you order it with extra bacon too?” Leo went straight to the fridge to grab something to drink. “Order some cheesy sticks too will you?” Donnie asked as he poured himself another mug of coffee.

Yes all of this sounded wonderful and his stomach did grumble but

HIS GIRLFRIENDS BOOBS.

Raph had scooted further to grab his own soda from the coffee table and just as he did he saw his phone. Relief washed over him but to his immense dismay and terror, the back of his phone was facing up. Which means the clear case he had was displaying the infamous polaroid he had been gifted.

You had simply asked him one thing.

‘Please don’t let your brothers see my tits’

It all felt slow motion, his eyes going wide, his hand diving to the couch and just as he did, Raph’s quick reflexes kicked in unfortunately and he turned to grab his youngest brothers wrist. “Ya ain’t giving me a wedgie man!!”

Raph’s eyes followed Mikey’s hand and then his eyes bugged out.

“Why are there titties on the sofa?!” Raph made for the phone but only got a face full of pillow cushion. He snatched the phone before it could be grabbed by anybody else. The red banded brute grinned as his brother hugged the phone to his chest. “Advert your gaze you perv!” Mikey all but shrieked.

“I’m not the one walking around with a titty pic as my phone cover” Raph grinned, just to make matters worse Leo and Donnie had gathered.

“Mikey why are you walking around with a random porn pic on your phone cover” Came Donnie’s disapproving tone.

“It’s a polaroid” Was all Raph needed to say.

The silence that fell was brief, then a series of ‘ooh’s’ sounded off and Mikey all but frowned and felt his cheeks heat up.

“No way! That can’t be...” Leo was incredulous. The relationship between Mike and you had remained rather on the down low. It was fun, a little secret away from the world that could stay between the two of you.

“Mikey, are you and y/n a thing?” Donnie asked exactly what the rest wanted to know but Mikey dreaded to answer. He sighed dramatically and tucked his phone into his pocket, shooting Raph a glare as his green eyes followed the motion.

“Listen dudes she made me promise that nobody would see that picture and I’ve already broken that cardinal rule thanks to this jerk face” He frowned at Raph, who in turn rolled his eyes.

“Well maybe keep the picture in your wallet or your room?” Leo sipped his soda with a matter of fact tone.

“Or as a background on your phone cause honestly man” Donnie smiled to himself when Mikey shot him an incredulous look. “Why’d she give you that?” Raph inquired sneakily with a smirk.

“For our three month anniver- AH YOU DICK” Mikey huffed out as Raph began to laugh, it was so easy to trick Mikey when one played their cards right.

____________

Donatello

Investigating could take a toll on anybody, even if by all means you weren’t a detective it still didn’t mean you wouldn’t find yourself researching and investigating crime. It seems to be part of the job description when you befriend four giant crime fighting terrapins.

In away you could help, you did.

Everyone had huddled around the living room, the coffee table littered with pictures, clues and all sorts of pieces of evidence that could possibly lead to the culprit they were trying to catch. You had set down a stack of papers, eyes already screaming for a break. Leo and Casey were at the kitchen talking, Casey had just clocked out and was reporting back what the nights investigations had gathered. Raph and Mikey were checking out the pictures Casey had brought over and Donnie naturally was researching on a laptop he’d placed there.

You had nudged him to come over and join the huddle, and secretly you just wanted him close. The two of you were dating, quietly and unannounced, but in those first few stages of just wanting to be glued to one another it was a little difficult to do said glueing.

On a few occasions with prying eyes preoccupied with their investigating, you had reached over to rub his cheek, his sleepy eyes spoke greatly of how tired he felt. Donnie had been at this already for a while, you’d been there with him along the way.

With a stretch of his arms, Donnie yawned and rolled his neck. The clock on your phone read 3:45am, he was due for a nap at the very least. “Why don’t you lie down, I can keep helping out here” You reached over again and took off his glasses, he smiled tiredly but shook his head. “I’m fine, I can keep going” Despite his entire body language screaming otherwise, Donnie would always soldier on.

By the time another hour passed, people consumed enough Coffee to give themselves an additional pulse (and somebody committed the mistake of giving Mikey said coffee) the investigation had died down. A few walls were hit but a few leads had come from it as well. Everyone was ready to call it a night (or morning).

Casey yawned, twisting his neck to let out a few pops. “Okay who’s staying and who’s coming with me?” By the sounds of April softly snoring against an equally happily snoring Raph, it seemed she would stay. Casey had a few hours of sleep to catch on before heading for his next shift and you had to preoccupy yourself with the same before tackling a night shift at your job. Donnie’s tired eyes expressed how he wanted you to stay over but he knew work was closer to your place.

“I guess I’m carpooling with you” You told Casey, already grabbing your jacket and bag. A quick hug to Leo and Mikey, a bow to a recently awaken Splinter and you were next to Donnie.

He’d been sitting on the kitchen table, arms crossed and looking closer to being k.o’d.

It was the sleep deprivation honestly, on both your behalves.

Because you had spread your arms for a hug and so had he, but your face had met in the middle and before either of your foggy brains could comprehend what was happening you had smooched him.

On the lips.

For about a minute.

Minute and a half honestly.

You both froze, the awake members of the family staring with raised brows. Donnie furrowed his brows, lips pursed in a thin line, you still had your own in a kissing motion.

“Well at least we solved one mystery tonight” Spoke Mikey with a snicker, Leo nudged him.

Donnie sighed by shrugged. “Not exactly how I wanted to announce this so yup, I’m her boyfriend, she’s my girlfriend, please hold all inquires for a later time when I’m actually awake” He pulled you in again for a hug, and another kiss (greedy boy) and instructed Casey to deliver you home safely.

With a blush but albeit happy look on your face you waved everyone off.

___________

Leonardo

Keeping a relationship quiet had never proven to be so difficult. Truthfully it came easier when the circle of people surrounding you was bigger, but a close knit one? Everyone suddenly had the powers of observation up to God level.

But Leo’s ninja skills were God level too and you knew how to keep your trap shut and not sigh like a love struck teenager every second you saw him. So it had gone good, real good for a while. The thrill of maybe sharing an intimate kiss while others we’re around was a sensation you never expected to enjoy. When it was time to leave, Leo would ‘walk you’ home safely and by ‘miracle’ run into a few thugs on his way back.

Because there’s no reason a brisk ten minute walk to your apartment should turn into an hour and a half.

Raph wasn’t buying but cared little to stick his nose into it. Donnie was too busy to bother. Mikey had an idea but decided due to bro code not to voice it.

His father though?

Splinter knows what’s going on because well, he’s Splinter. You live long enough with four giant sons all with their unique personalities and traits, you pick up a thing or two about parenting pretty easily.

And Splinter is a phenomenal parent.

Both Father and Mother to his sons.

So naturally he’s irked that his eldest is sneaking out at odd hours and trying to conceal his return. Because Splinter feels that out of all four, Leo has always been the most open with him. Once Raph hit those pre-pubescent mood swings, Donnie began to teach himself all matter of subjects and Mikey was too busy trying to set a new record of heart attacks to give his father while skateboarding; Leo always remained the same.

Even with all the acolytes Leo has achieved in his ninjutsu training, he still had his hiccups and his father would never spare the opportunity to turn into a teaching moment.

So when Leo had kissed you passionately on his way out of your window, you still in nothing but the skin that he had dedicated a fair amount of time in kissing and bitting. He thought he was being slick, he thought he was going to ninja his way into the Lair, into the showers and straight to his bed.

What he didn’t account for was his father waiting up on him. A mug of hot tea on the kitchen table and hands clasps together in what Leo recognized all to well as ‘Dad Mode’.

He’d been caught with the proverbial hand in the cookie jar. His gear was half hazardously on, mask slipped down around his neck and for Christ sake he was holding a shoe. It was 6:30am and he smelled like a girl, a pretty girl no less. The jig was up, especially when his dad motioned for him to come forth and seat opposite him at the kitchen table.

“Dad I can ex-“ Splinter held up a finger and pushed the mug of tea towards his disheveled eldest son.

“My son, I am not angry” Which was truthful, he wasn’t, in fact he was ecstatic that Leo had found somebody, somebody good and somebody that loved him for he has. Long ago he had accepted the pain that his sons would not find suitable partners and the ache it would come with for them. But here was Leo, nervous and trying to adjust his clothing because he’d been with a woman, a woman he clearly loved.

“I like y/n, she is kind, thoughtful and caring to us” Splinter emphasized each trait with a tap of a long nail on the table. “She should be treated with respect, I hope I have instilled that teaching unto you, a lady is to be respected Leonardo” Leo nodded at his fathers words, he nodded and prayed that the underwear he had stuffed into his pockets wouldn’t magically transport on the table to further humiliate him.

“So please my son, do not lie to me, do not come home late in this state and not expect me to know what has transpired” Dad voice was on, coupled with the sympathetic eyes though, man Splinter was good at this shit.

Leo hung his head, clearly ashamed of his dishonorable doings. “Hai, sensei” Even as an adult being scolded by his father never stopped hurting.

“And please do tell her that there isn’t anything hide, she is welcomed in our home, I would not mind getting to know my future daughter in law a little bit more” Splinter enjoyed the way his son nearly choked on his tea.

“Perhaps I can tell her a few anecdotes of your growing up” He smiled when Leo looked at him with pleading eyes. “I believe I have a few embarrassing ones she will find most delightful” He stood up and placed a hand on his sons broad shoulder. “I’m sorry dad, sorry for sneaking around and not telling you” He was earnest in his words and Splinter bowed his head.

“I know, thank you Leonardo” He walked away, hands behind his back.

Leo sighed and pulled out his phone, shooting you a quick text.

-so my dad wants to formally meet you... as in introduce you as my girlfriend.

It felt nice to hit send on that message.

[ooooo-mcyt]

For real though watching yhs has lead me to the conclusion that despite Grian seemingly has such an active fight instinct....most of the time he actually doesnt respond to situations with half the fight attributed to him.

When faced with a traumatic situation Grian will absolutely bare his teeth at the nearest threat. He's absolutely vitriolic towards Sam at all times without fail and has even initiated physical violence in their confrontations once or twice. He's often on edge, often quick to angry outbursts, just overall rather hostile when faced with a dangerous/frightening/harmful situation. Which definitely indicates his main response to these scenarios is to fight. Hard.

However the more I engaged with fanon the more I faltered. A lot of fanon does portray him as very hostile in the face of trouble. Which should make sense. Canonically Grian knows when to say no, when to argue, and even sometimes when to physically fight back. Any episode with Grian present will likely have examples of him pushing back against harmful situations. And yet something always feels very Off about that being the start and end of it in a lot of fanon. Which led me down an interesting line of thinking.

I honestly suspect that Grian's volatility and will to fight back isn't nearly as strong as one would believe from observing him on surface level. In fact, his on the surface hostility feels like it's borderline a facade altogether to be honest.

I mean look at examples throughout canon of Grian in distressing situations.

Yhs halloween episode. The one where Taurtis got stabbed. And the following situation where Grian is famously forced to dress up like Taurtis. Grian would later be very upset about Sam stabbing Taurtis, however his initial response was to nervously laugh and even give Sam appeasing praise. I mean, Grian says "you weren't supposed to stab him" pretty clearly, but he anxiously laughs before and afterwards and even tells Sam he's proud of him when prompted. Obviously Grian was very upset about the whole thing later on after taking Taurtis to the hospital however in the moment he's mostly silent and when he's not he's just nervously laughing throughout, even agreeing with whatever *Sam* says when he's outright prompted by name for an opinion, then when everyone else tries to play it off casually Grian actually goes along with it almost entirely, even agreeing to let Taurtis drive him home for some reason. Then, according to his own story, he had an opportunity to talk to police at the hospital and he didn't incriminate Sam. He knew they were supicious of *him* but he still didn't incriminate the actual killer. "I told them I found him like that" Grian alleged. Honestly it sounds like he didn't tell them much of *anything* before being released and making the walk back to meet Sam. The next morning Grian was significantly more vocally upset about Taurtis being stabbed and expressed being upset with Sam however he seemed significantly more anxious than he was angry throughout the interaction. Then Grian immediately pretty readily agreed to go with Sam and Yuki to school and willingly put on the Taurtis outfit before the other's even started with the threats in the name of making things 'less awkward'. He certainly objected, however he was once again a lot more anxious than angry, nervously laughing, coming up with really weak unimportant excuses, and agreeing within ten seconds of being asked. Pretty much the rest of his time dressed as Taurtis goes very similarly. He objects to most things he's told to do and brings up Sam stabbing Taurtis multiple times despite the other's not wanting him to but is primarily nervous rather than hostile and he never actuslly puts up enough resistence for it to stick. Even when the other's were stuffing plastic down his throat and he told them he thought it may kill him Grian still did it and told the other's he *liked* it when pushed. Eventually he got out of it by running on Rowan's command and no sooner than being told to get out of there. When Sam found him again Grian immediately even reverted back to doing as he was told and cowering away from him in obvious fear up until Okami and Rowan showed up and shoved Grian behind them. Then he *still went home that night* knowing Sam would be there. When they found Taurtis it was pretty clear that Grian was hoping Taurtis would help him once he got his memory back however when instructed to stop telling Taurtis who he was Grian for the most part did aside from subtle pushing about the familiarity of certain things and then later when Taurtis got his memory back and made it pretty clear he wasn't going to help Grian? Grian conceded. He spent a good few minutes arguing about everything he'd gone through- everything they both had- and insisting it wasn't okay but when Taurtis made it pretty clear he wasn't going to do anything and they collectively agreed Grian was the real problem? Grian kinda...stopped. When Taurtis made it clear he wasn't going to be helping, Grian just kinda fell back into their normal routine with the other's, and when Sam demanded an 'apology soda' from Grian for what he'd apparently done, Grian bought it for him saying "If that's what it takes for things to go back to normal".

Let's also look at Grian's involvement with the law during/shortly-after the Halloween situation. When Sam and Yuki dragged him to join the Yakuza he was upset and objected anxiously but caved as soon as he got pushback. When Sam wanted to steak from the Yakuza he once again got objections from Grian who nervously insisted that it was a terrible idea but once again Sam shoved aside Grian's complaints and once again Grian just kinda fell into place despite being upset. When the police also started threatening the trio's lives to work for them, Grian objected. He questioned if they were allowed to do that and was very openly not happy about any of it, however he very quickly submitted under pressure. Both times Grian was locked in solitary confinement he loudly protested his sanity and both times he voiced how disturbing it was on a really deep level being locked up like that but both times when he was let out he just went with the other two again and let them brush it all off- even knowing full well they let him out to be *death fodder*. He just went with them relatively quietly save for maybe a token remark or two. Honestly the large majority of this bs Grian was involved with was under physical threat and he almost always bent under it. Even down to his fight with Pie over Ellen. Pie showed up and started challenging their relationship. Sam, Taurtis, and Yuki insisted they have a knife fight. Grian said *no*. Pie said yes. Sam, Taurtis, and Yuki affirmed there would be a knife fight. Grian objects more. Everyone else present discusses how the knife fight will work. Grian gets stabbed. Grian suggests they just ask Ellen who they want to date *obviously*. Ellen chooses nobody and leaves. Grian was upset but then just kinda accepts it and goes on with what the whole group was doing before.

And just to round this out with one more example. The Starwars Cosplay Incident. Apparently Sam burst into Grian's room, undressed him, shoved him into Leia Cosplay complete with fake boobs, and locked him in the basement for three days. Grian sits there for three days until Taurtis rescues him.  Grian has a moment of being rightfully very angry and finally even tries to physically attack Sam, demanding to know if Taurtis is aware of what Sam did to him and insisting that they can't expect everything to be fine now. Except it kinda...was. Taurtis stopped Grian from attacking Sam, they both brushed it off as a joke and not a big deal, and then they went to school. And Grian just *went*. He walked with the other two, he wore the outfit Sam put him in, and he just kinda moved on. Grian would later object when the clones tried to pull him out of class, snapping that he just wants to learn and get an education like a normal person and demanding to know why he's not allowed to. But he goes! And when he's released he walks right back to Sam and Taurtis, makes some bitter remarks to them, and let's them shove it all aside as if it's unimportant. Later when it's Grian, Sam, and a member of school staff alone in the closet, some innapropriate remarks are made to Grian. He very quickly says he's reporting the remarks made by school staff but Sam tells him not to be rude and it doesn't seem Grian ever does. Later on when Geode makes a comment about Grian's outfit as well Sam and Taurtis start pondering *giving* Grian to them. Grian repeatedly said *no* but with a lot more despair than defiance and we don't even know if he'd have actually followed through with fighting back if they'd tried to actually give him away because they were interrupted before the situation got to that point. Grian once again just let the other's move on as if that didn't happen and continued following them around, though! And he wore that damn outfit he was very explicitly uncomfortable with. All day.

Which is kinda all to say that when it comes to fighting back Grian is a lot more bark than bite.

Grian throws out a lot of bitter remarks, makes his objections very apparent in most things, and even has more than one vitriolic rant to his abuser(s) throughout the series. But that layer of his responses to things is so fragile that it tends to fall away within minutes- if that, sometimes *seconds*.

Of course ive seen other people take note of this and argue that it means Grian actually *wants* to do these thingd he's objecting to but I think that's silly. If it were just things like group crime or violent acts then id possibly see it but Grian puts up the same kind of response to having plastic shoved down his throat and to being locked in the basement for days which there's no way in hell he was any kind of okay with. The more likely scenario here isn't that he secretly wanted to do any of these things and made his resistence weak so he could pretend he tried while still doing it.

The likely scenario here is that his fight response is much more for show than one would think. Because Grian's strongest most influential response to things really never seems to be to fight. Aggression is really hardly Grian's overall stance on handling a distressing situation.

Much more frequently you see the most influence coming from completely other instinctive responses.

Looking for outside help in adults, friends, and classmates like when Okami and Rowan protected him during his time dressed as Taurtis or when Grian tried desperately to get Taurtis to be on his side and help him after Sam seriously hurt him both when Taurtis first got his memory back after Halloween and when Taurtis found Grian in the basement during the Starwars Cosplay Incident, hell, even during his fight with Pie it can be argued that Grian calling for them to just ask Ellen was an appeal to outside help as he hoped Ellen would agree to end the fight and save him from the situation as a result.

Running away- or trying to at least- from the threat. Most notably seen back during the halloween incident when he quite literally ran out the back of the gym and hid from Sam+Yuki then hiding behind Okami and Rowan when they showed up in an attempt to flee from Sam which is how he got away from the other's at all during that situation. Grian's consistent need to exclaim every so often how much he wants to go back to Europe is a subtler example of this, though, of Grian's urge to get away.

Honestly though being quiet and moving as he's directed seems to be the most common winning response. You see little sparks of reaction from him but most of the time Grian is just quiet, nervously laughing, following Taurtis and Sam around in what they ask of him, and even outright appeasement strategies to maintain a calm environment. This is So common from Grian. This is what usually wins out. His quiet nervous laughter and agreeing with Sam when Taurtis is first stabbed. The fact that he didn't tell the police what Sam did when alone with them during questioning and then immediately walked to meet up with Sam and went to school with Sam+Yuki with literally no objections. The fact that he didn't say no like *at all* to putting on the Taurtis outfit in the name of not making things awkward and complied within seconds of first being asked. How he proceeded to do what he was asked all day and didn't make any move to get away until Rowan outright instructed him to run. The fact that he went back! The fact that he went along with it when they joined the Yakuza and when they stole from the Yakuza and when they joined up with the cops and when they *forced him into a knife fight*. How Grian eventually just lost his spark of defiance after Taurtis first got his memories back and made it clear he wasn't helping Grian, with Grian agreeing to buy Sam a fucking *apology soda* if it meant things would go back to normal after hearing everyone else agree that *he* was the problem in all he'd been put through. The way he just goes back to following Sam and Taurtis after they got him locked in solitary confinement on blatant lies because they *wanted* to. The way he walks around school with the other two while wearing cosplay that made him feel gross and uncomfortable that Sam had literally physically forced onto him and just went along with what he was told in the end.

Grian always puts up a fight but not a good one. He makes side comments, he makes objections, he even has more than one emotional rant about the hell he's put through, however this never wins out in the end and this presenting fight is very frequently just barely holding down much stronger freeze and fawn instincts that usually win out pretty damn quick.

Which!!! In a situation like Grian's it actually makes significantly more sense to have strong freeze and fawn responses than to have a strong fight response! I mean, think about it. A fight response is primarily useful in scenarios in which it's possible to take strong action to remove the threat. You're attacked by a dog so you throw stuff at it till it backs away. You're picked on by an upperclassman so you punch em' in the nose expecting fully that they'll leave you be after. Someone attacks you while you're walking home so you try and stab them with your key. Fighting is an incredibly good response for random/one time attacks. If you're ever kidnapped you wanna scream and punch and kick and make a scene so they can't take you to a secondary location. You fight. Fighting is optimal for unexpected stranger conflicts. That's not the situation Grian's in though. Grian suffers from serious long term physical, emotional, and financial abuse. He's in a country he doesn't have residency or family in, he doesn't have a readily available source of income, he doesn't have his own mode of transportation, it seems that most of the time he doesnt have a clear way home, he's often dealing with long term friends of his and seemingly his biggest source of support prior to this situation, even back in Europe he doesn't have much support system to run to given his parents canonically left him, he's frequently under threat of physical danger, etc. This is not the kind of situation in which an intense primary fight response helps. This is the type of situation in which an intense primary fight response either gets you seriously hurt or wandering the streets with no way to provide for yourself. It would likely be similar if he presented an intense primary flight response to be honest. In long term abuse situations where there's no rational way of escaping safely or no rational place to escape to? Often the primary responses that promote survival are fawn and freeze. Appeasing the aggressor or sinking into the background. Those are your ways to stay alive when you can't expect to 'win' or escape. It absolutely makes more sense for Grian to have primary fawn and freeze responses than a primary fight response.

But then why does he present so much hostility? What's with all the bitter remarks and the attempts to voice objections and the occasional overt insults/screaming? How does a fawn/freeze response present as fight when first pressed at?? Well fun fact, I have experience with that kind of presentation because I *was* that kind of presentation. Oh boy did I try to push strong fight responses towards my abusive father with token resistences and petty remarks even though most of the time I crumpled under the slightest pressure and spent my time ignoring the problem or dissociating or trying very hard to avoid future conflicts. You put up a token front of fight even if that's never going to be your primary response for the sake of your own mental health, really. To assure the world- and *you*- knows that you don't *want* this situation. So you can say you tried. Out of some misguided hope that your attempted bravado won't be seen through and that maybe this time they'll just stop pushing instead of calling the bluff. Which. Makes sense with Grian as well. I mean looking at the times he really truly goes off before reverting back to a more appeasing stance, most notably his rants from when Taurtis first got his memory back as well as from when he got out of the basement during the Starwars Cosplay Incident. Most of those rants were taken up by Grian loudly and passionately reiterating what he'd been through, insisting he was the victim, and calling Sam an awful person before the defiance fades out and he becomes more willing to just go about their day. It's one attempted push hoping the other parties present will vie in his favour and a reassertion that he's not okay with this and that *he* is being hurt which gives way within minutes to a much duller attitude. That's just a painfully familiar format. Adding on Grian's token objections/passive aggressive remarks to many situations that distress him and how quickly those objections give way as dismissed by others. That kind of behaviour feels strongly like an attempt to preserve your own mental wellbeing as much as possible with the knowledge that you tried to some extent and with just generally hearing out loud that you are the victim even if from yourself. Grian's behaviour just really feels like a facade of defiance to cover up general helplessness which makes a Lot of sense for the scenario. Probably more than just plain defiance would.

[unoisveimved-un-proffesional]

Yeah you see, I've been thinking about this for a while myself.

(Lots of thinking down below)

To me the closest thing to a villain Disco has is the faceless Moralintern and Coalition. Anyone who could be responsible for everything happening and who is truly in control on a national and economic scale is not there in Martinaise, (and even when they are they're just a bunch of holly jolly assholes who could care less (Mega Rich Light Bending Guy and Sunday Friend)) at most the constant reminders of the Coalition and Moralintern power and control is just hanging in the air watching everyone down below. If you actually had the option to directly go against Moralist International, had any means to take action against them, than they would be the obvious mega-bad guys, but you don't, you probably never will, in fact, you're technically employed by them. It's very down to earth in that way, in how down to earth most of us are in real life in our literal position in society, you're down here, on the ground with all the little people, while the organizations in total control of this shitshow and all members of it are basically living in the sky for all you know, like gods, and it's incredible if you even meet one (and he's the most unlikable character in the game, next to you, for totally different reasons, reasons you can't empathize with unlike with everyone else).

In a big picture and personal sense, you're the bad guy, you're your own worst enemy, and in every way it's because you're a cop who answers to the Coalition Government, the Coalition being just straight up bad like the "centrist" governments of the real world, and also being a cop destroys your mental health, ruins your relationships, and takes over your personality, so the smallest scale threat (yourself) and the biggest scale threat (so big nobody you talk to even thinks about doing anything about it, the Coalition Government and Moralist International) are in a way linked together, on a personal level, it's just all your fault, and on a big picture level, your life and all your mistakes are the result of the Coalition's influence in a big domino effect. It's partly because Harry is such a fuck up in such an awful position in every aspect of life, that he's also kinda put on a pedestal by Pryce, La Revacholiere, and others, "Maybe this sad fuck shambling to death's door is the key to it all!" It's equally as silly as it is sad and intriguing, because you can ultimately choose to at least make an attempt to change things for the better, if just a little bit. (Speedfreak Sidequest my beloved)

There aren't really any big antagonists who play an active role aside from the main two: Wild Pines and Evrart's Union. The major political and economic plot of Martinaise is a massive back and forth between Wild Pines and the Dockworkers Union, and it's obvious the good guys are the Union, and that's because of how bad Evrart is. Evrart lets himself be the face of the Union, let's people know he's evil to ultimately benefit everyone behind his face, whereas Joyce hides behind her faceless company's name, trying to distance herself from it. They're equally vile and equally charming people, totally opposite also, with the highest level of disdain possible for the other. An excellent example of writing equals yet opposites, moral grays, and direct contrasts.

Wild Pines hired guns are the people who attempt to murder the Union's militant wing, and it's up to you to protect them, that's where the game draws clear lines in the sand of where it wants you to stand. Just because no one is pure, and every major player is neck deep in moral, ethical, and legal crimes, doesn't mean the sides aren't obvious. Evrart Claire is the worst and best person you meet simultaneously, and that's by his own and the writers design. You get the most shit for being Evrart's peon, for siding with the Socialist Mob, but otherwise you're siding with the Capitalist Mob that is Wild Pines and Krenel. You could say, everyone's an antagonist. (even your own coworkers)

I read something once, something like "You can choose to be any kind of Cop in Disco Elysium except a good one." And that's very true, but you can choose to be a good person. The personal divide in Disco Elysium comes down to "Am I going to approach this like a pig, or like a person?" And the game rewards you for being a person, people actually like you, the best moments with Kim are when he's being autistic about cars and playing board games with you. Really there are no good cops, maybe at most you're not a "bad" cop (but who knows if that's a decision you can make anymore) but you can just also not act like a cop be far more satisfied by having genuine conversations with people, even if you're so far gone every conversation feels like an interrogation, there is hope. Maybe there's even hope for the RCM to be more of the Revachol Citizens Militia than just the Coalition's self governing control squad, with whatever Captain Pryce has planned, choosing being People, Revacholians, Citizens, and Militia, over being just The Pigs Policing People.

That's one of the reasons Disco Elysium is so fascinating. It's antagonists are there, there are villains, vile people, like the heartless and equally heartbroken war crime committing mercenaries, and truly heartless and soulless inhuman organizations that ultimately have put most of this shit into motion, but they're realistic, in a way no other villains are, because you can't fight back against the biggest of the bad, it's almost painful having to kill such awful people like the mercenaries, and when you meet the heads of these operations, Wild Pines and the Dockworkers Union, Joyce and Evrart, you're forced to work with both of them, it doesn't even matter how you feel about them, but on some level you don't even know what to feel about them. It's messy and complicated but true and total in a way you'd think only real life can be. It's all about struggle, with yourself, with people, and the world. It mirrors a lot of my own economic, personal, and political experiences, like reinforcing my fundamental belief that centrism is the absolute worst, and we live not in a leftist or right wing government or world, but far worse, center-leaning right, and just center-leaning left in most relatively "progressive" countries.

one of the things that makes disco elysium such a fascinating game is that there's not really a villain. even the killer is barely in the game and never does anything worse to you than call you a liberal.