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dankusner · 5 days ago

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CHAPTER 19

When you live in a small town, it's a lot like being in a family. We fight amongst ourselves and everybody knows your business, but nobody cares. People help each other out. They just want everybody to be decent and respectful, and mostly that's the way it is.

-Hon. Edward Marks, Floyd County

In small counties, the job description of a justice of the peace is far more fluid. Jane Jones told me that in Borden County (home to around 660 residents), people tend to pitch in wherever needed, even IPs. She offered a good example. "We're more hands-on with the inquests. I stay and help them load the body, I help them bag it up and get it into the ambulance. We don't have a lot of personnel, so you get in the full effect of it."

"It can be hard being a JP in a rural county, where everybody knows everybody," Glenn E. Klaus (Medina County) told me. "They'll stop you at the Shell station." And anyplace else, because IPs aren't good at blending in with the local scenery in small Texas towns. In his book In-quests: Living with the Dead, Mitch Shamburger (Smith County) writes about visiting his dad in the nursing home and recognizing the room's other occupant as both a customer of the family's Texaco station and a visitor to his court

"Leo-Leo Barber: do you know who I am?" Shamburger quizzed the man.

"I know you," the old man whispered. "You're the son of a bitch who took my driver's license."!

Donna Schmidt (Cochran County) has a soft spot for the people in her county. It even shows up when she magistrates the ones who step out of line and break the law.

People are always like, "Why are you so nice to me?"

"Why wouldn't I be nice to you?"

"Well, you're the judge and I'm in trouble all the time." I'm like, "I'm going to be fair with you."

There are these guys I've magistrated over and over again, and I sel them when I go down to arraign them and they're crying. "I know I disappointed you!"

Just a Member of the Community

T'll hand them a Kleenex, and I'll say, "You didn't disappoint me. You let yourself down. The last time you were in here, what did I tell you?"

"I don't remember."

"You've got to get up one more time than you fall down."

In small communities, it's impossible not to have personal connections with the people you have to Mirandize and set bond for. Mark Holt (Walker County) told me about a young man he magistrated whose face was familiar, but he just couldn't place him. "I was on the calf scramble, Mr. Holt." Now Judge Holt remembered.

"A super good kid," Holt told me. "He got caught with marijuana." It isn't unusual for Donna Wessels to see a lot of the same people at the jail when she performs her duties as magistrate for Wharton County.

It's kind of like Otis in Mayberry. We have a few Otises that we see weekly. We may say, "How much money do you have in your pocket?" This way we know how much bond to set, since they have to come up with ten percent. If they say five dollars, we say okay, your bond is fifty dollars, so you can get out of jail. There are a lot of no-trespass warnings from different businesses around town. They just don't want people hanging around. But when the weather is bad or it's cold outside or they're just hungry, the people I magistrate will intentionally go to one of those places so they can get put in jail and get their three hots and a cot.

In Potter County, Thomas Jones finds many of these engineered return visits to the jail to be symptomatic of a severe national mental

People arrested for criminal trespass, they go right back to the place that they'd originally trespassed. Those repeat offenders with mental health issues, they realize that the weather is changing and it's going to get brutally cold, and they will get picked up on criminal trespass so they'll have a place to go and get warm. Most of them are homeless. It's creating a lot of pressure on local government.

Texas JPs are more than just residents of their towns and counties.

They are also spouses, parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, sons and daughters, church members, church leaders, members of civic and social service organizations, soccer dads, Little League moms, coaches, den mothers, troop leaders, PTA members, school bus drivers, volunteer firefighters, EMS technicians, book club members, VFW members...

Ed Follis (Lynn County) does more in his community than just serve as JP. He does woodwork, making furniture repairs, putting in cabinets.

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casmybelovedass · 3 years ago

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Ya know which doctor who episode is fucking conflicting to me?

The girl in the fireplace.

I have an extreme love-hate relationship with this episode.

I absolutely love the idea, the vibe, the costumes, and Sophia Myles is lovely. No, truly, the concept is amazing. Plus, there's a horse.

But fuck my life and sell it on ebay when I tell you this episode is utter bullshit when it comes to the Doctor. Moffat you piece of shit what did you do

This is the same "she is my responsibility. it's all my fault. my friend is trapped. there is no power on this earth that can stop me" man we know???

This fucking horny irresponsible selfish guy?

Honey I get that having a beautiful woman push you up against a wall and snog you senseless would give anyone a space boner

But you don't go around chasing her skirts like a puppy in heat LEAVING YOUR FRIENDS ALONE IN A DANGEROUS ALIEN SPACE SHIP

And can I just say. Disgusting. You just saved a child. A scared child. You go check if she's okay. And the moment you see she is now an adult woman. You eye her up and down and make out with her??? That bothers me. I can see from Reinette's point of view, but on the Doctor's side, if feels to me exactly like when S15 Lilith took the form of a 20 something girl and had the intention of seducing Dean, who was already full father mode activated. Disgusting.

And no this is not about tenrose. Rose was even calm and collected about the whole situation??? This is about literally abandoning your friends and your home to play prince charming

The difference between this episode and human nature (my beloved) is John Smith had no idea what was going on and just wanted to live his life in peace, with the woman he fell in love with over the months he spent with her. He had nothing and nobody.

He saw the possibility of a happy fulfilling life he could have had, and was heartbroken at the thought of all of that being a lie. A lie he didn't have control over. A lie that broke the heart of somebody he loved. And it wasn't his fault.

While over here we have the Doctor straight up leaving two of his friends (one if which he is supposedly in love with???) alone, lost in the future, on a spaceship.

And with no plan on how to get back to them. Yes because he even says it. He didn't have the TARDIS, money, communication devices, etc...

And he surely wasn't relaying on Rose pulling a Bad Wolf 2.0 either.

He was legit planning on playing Royal House for half a decade and then?? Wait for a ride 3000 years in the future??!! What the fuck

Let's talk Rose for a bit. Good old spicy Rose. Does she get jealous? Yes, often. Does she throw a fuss? Yes. With Sarah Jane. And it was funny. And she learned from that. Her interactions with Reinette were careful, respectful and sympathetic. Common ground: their feelings for the Doctor. They both knew and respected the other. It wasn't a competition. It actually felt to me like Martha and Jack in Sound of the drums.

AND, just like Human Nature, I like that the Doctor wanted to take Reinette to see the stars, spending some instances of her remaining years travelling were no other of her time could. She was brilliant and kind and curious and hungry for the exciting unknown.

Fucking hell

This episode really destroyes me mentally

I like it but it makes my blood boil

#*sigh* alright im done #sorry about the rant #doctor who #the girl in the fireplace #tenrose #non spn

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onetwothreefarkle · 3 years ago

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Puppy Dog Tails

Just some tooth-rotting seblos fluff! Future fic based off this post. I hope you like it, @redmeanslove

Summary: Seb comes home with a surprise (also read on AO3)

Carlos stood in his kitchen, stirring a mug of hot tea with honey and lemon. Outside, snow was falling, rapidly turning New York City into a winter wonderland, though it was mid-January, so most people were sick of it, especially in the city. Not Carlos, though. Winter was his favorite season (dry skin and chapped lips notwithstanding). The snow reminded him of Salt Lake, and kept him from getting too homesick. Not that he didn’t love his life in New York, but Salt Lake would always be home, no matter how long he spent chasing his Broadway dreams.

He was close to achieving them, too. His choreography had already been nominated for a Tony once, and while this year he was between shows, he had a good feeling about the projects he had in the works, most notably an original show currently in workshops, which meant most of his work was yet to come. In the meantime, he was focused on supporting his boyfriend—soon to be fiancé, if he had anything to say about it—who was currently the star of a genderbent production of Legally Blonde. Carlos couldn’t have been prouder, even if it meant days like these, spent alone in their apartment. Seb had left an hour ago and Carlos had already skimmed through his notes and sent an email to his director about a new routine.

He sipped his tea slowly and sighed. He knew he had things to do, dance routines to practice and more emails to send, and honestly laundry to wash, but he couldn’t bring himself to do any of it. Instead he moved from the kitchenette to the living room, and settled on the couch with his favorite blanket--the one Seb’s mom had gifted them when they first moved into this apartment. It was wool (sheep’s wool from the farm, not cashmere, obviously) and it was thick and warm and it reminded Carlos of home because somewhere along the way he started thinking of the Matthew-Smith’s farm and home as a little bit his. Also, it smelled like Seb always did when they were back in Salt Lake and he was spending time on the farm, sort of earthy and sweet.

Carlos was pulled from his thoughts by the high pitched tone of his text alerts. He set his tea down on the coffee table and pulled out his phone.

New Message From Seb 🥰💖: Guess who’s coming home early?

Message Sent: What? Why?

New Message From Seb 🥰💖: Check your weather app, sweetheart. The storm’s getting worse, our shows are cancelled today so nobody ends up snowed in at the theatre.

Message Sent : OMG

Message Sent: Get home safe!

New Message From Seb 🥰💖: I will

New Message From Seb 🥰💖: Love you!

Message Sent: Love you too!

He set his phone down, and picked up his tea again, though he could barely wipe the smile off his face long enough to take a drink. He knew that Seb would be unhappy about missing a day of work, but he couldn’t help but be excited to spend some extra time with his partner, especially if they had to huddle for warmth. With that thought in mind, he flicked on the TV and began scrolling through their Netflix library, looking for something for them to watch.

45 minutes later, Carlos’s unfinished tea had gone cold on the table, and he had queued up Schitt’s Creek, a show they’d already watched multiple times, and that happened to be one of Seb’s all time favorites. He checked his phone, but there were no new texts from Seb. He frowned. Seb should’ve been home by then.

Message Sent: You almost home?

New Message From Seb 🥰💖: Coming up the stairs now!

Carlos grinned (and sighed in relief that his boyfriend wasn’t stuck out in the snow somewhere freezing to death). He picked up his mug and headed back to the kitchenette to dump out the rest of his tea. No sooner did he set the dish on the drying rack than he heard the door open, followed by some shuffling and grunting.

Wait-- Grunting?

Carlos peaked around the corner to see Seb closing the door behind him while holding a large cardboard box with one arm. Well, this was going to be good.

“Whatcha got there?” Carlos asked, in lieu of a proper greeting.

Seb looked up with a wide smile, cheeks and nose pink from the cold, snowflakes starting to melt in his hair. “What would you say if I brought home six puppies?”

Carlos eyed the box. “What’s in the box?”

Seb didn’t say anything, but a whining sound came from the box.

Carlos put a hand on his hip. “What’s in the box, Seb?”

Seb sighed. “I think you know.”

One of the puppies whined again, prompting Seb to set the box down and pull her out. She was brown, with big eyes and floppy ears, some kind of labrador mix, if Carlos had to guess. “Shhh, it’s okay,” Seb was saying, soothingly, petting the top of her tiny head.

“I want to be mad, but you’re so cute,” Carlos shook his head.

Seb grinned. “Come say ‘hi’ to Anne Boleyn.”

“You named them already?” Carlos rolled his eyes. He’d never met anyone who loved animals as much as Seb did. “Of course you did.”

Seb just stepped forward and deposited the puppy into Carlos’s arms. She squirmed adorably. Seb bent down and started taking the rest of the puppies out of the box. They all looked about the same as Anne Boleyn. Brown and floppy and soft, somehow though Seb was able to differentiate between each one.

“This is Catherine of Aragon and Jane Seymour and--”

“Did you name them after the cast of Six?”

Seb shrugged. “Well, there’s six of them, it makes sense.”

Carlos raised an eyebrow. “And are they all girls?”

“Gender is a outdated social construct that dogs aren't restricted by,” Seb chirped happily. “But if you’re asking if they’re all female, the answer is no."

“Fair enough.” Carlos looked down at the puppy in his arms. She looked up at him with big brown eyes. “So, how did this happen?”

“I found them on the street!” Seb’s tone turned grave. “Someone had just left them out to freeze in the snow! I had to save them!”

“Wow,” Carlos’s eyes went wide. “That’s awful.”

“I know we can’t keep them,” Seb continued. “But I figured we could take care of them until the weather improves a bit and then we can take them to the animal shelter.”

Carlos nodded. “Sure.” Anne Boleyn chose that moment to lick Carlos’s glasses, pushing them part way off his face. “But they’re your problem.”

Seb giggled. “C’mon, she loves you!”

“If you say so,” Carlos pouted. “Not exactly the kiss I was hoping for.”

“Oh?” Seb grinned. “What kind of kiss were you hoping for?” He leaned in, stopping short of actually connecting their lips so he could fix Carlos’s glasses. “Maybe something like this?”

They kiss with Anne Boleyn squished slightly between their chests. Even after all these years it still makes Carlos’s heart race and warmth flood his body, all the way down to his toes.

“You do know,” he started, pulling back abruptly, “that you can’t convince me to let you keep one just by kissing me, right?”

“Well,” Seb smirked. “I could do more than kiss you.”

Carlos patted his cheek. “Not with six sets of eyes watching you can’t.”

Seb’s smirk turned into a pout. “Can’t we just keep one? I think Anne Boleyn really likes you.”

“Anne Boleyn is adorable, but do you really think she would be happy living in our studio apartment?” Carlos shook his head.

“Yeah,” Seb sighed. “You’re right.”

“Hey,” Carlos poked his partner’s arm. “Someday, after we’ve won a bunch of Tony awards, and we’re ready to retire from Broadway, we can move out of the city, to a big house somewhere and get all the dogs you want.”

Seb looked up hopefully. “Yeah?”

“Absolutely.” It was an easy promise to make. “I always thought we might end up moving back to Salt Lake eventually.”

“Oh, you’ve thought about our retirement, have you?” Seb grinned. “You don’t think you’ll be sick of me by then?”

Carlos flushed. “Never.” He thought about the engagement ring sitting in his sock drawer, the words Marry Me hanging off the tip of his tongue. He swallowed them. “Impossible.”

“I’ll never get sick of you, either,” Seb pressed a kiss to his cheek. “And I love that you’ve been imagining us retiring to the farm someday.”

“I never said--”

“It was implied,” Seb’s grin didn’t falter. “I’ve gotten pretty good at deciphering your riddles after all these years.”

Carlos couldn’t argue with that, because Seb was obviously right, and a part of Carlos wanted to be annoyed that Seb saw through him so easily, but most of him just felt warm all over. “I love you a lot, Seb Matthew-Smith.”

“I know.” Seb’s voice was soft and overflowing with fondness. “I love you a lot, too.”

#seblos #HSMTMTS #Carlos Rodriguez #Seb Matthew-Smith #seblos fan fiction #seblos fic #my fan fiction

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misscrawfords · 6 years ago

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Rose! How do you feel about Emma and its various adaptations?

Sorry for the delay in answering - blame the school trip!

I love Emma. I wrote my dissertation partly on it (also on Northanger Abbey, Rob Roy and St Ronan’s Well) and while I loved it before I loved it even more after studying it. All of Austen’s novels are extremely well plotted, but Emma might just be the best. It’s like a detective novel in that respect (and has been described as such on multiple occasions) because you can pick up on clues to what’s really going on all the way through but on a first read, you don’t see them. Miss Bates unintentionally reveals details that can be explained by Frank and Jane’s secret relationship but they are hidden in her verbal overloading. Emma’s own thoughts betray her unknown interest in Mr. Knightley, and his actions point to his love for Emma. And so on.

Jane Austen is also being radical in her use of literary conventions and genre in Emma (as she is in basically all her novels). She has the tightest mystery plot ever written at this point hidden directly inside a novel that sticks strictly to the conventions of romantic comedy. She even goes overboard with it - successfully navigating three couples to appropriate happy endings. However, within that solid structure, she plays with expectations and conventions in a subtle way and this is where I get really excited.

First we have Emma herself, a heroine “nobody but myself will like”. Austen clearly loved questioning and pushing conventions of who was allowed to be a heroine. Her previous novel, Mansfield Park, gave us Fanny who most people at the time found disappointing after Elizabeth Bennet and modern readers (unjustly IMO) hate, and she followed Emma with Anne Elliot who was far too old to be a romantic heroine according to contemporary standards. In the middle we have Emma Woodhouse, a meddling snob. She’s got a lot in common with Mr. Darcy actually and her character development in terms of recognising the bad behaviour she is guilty of and the prejudice she feels towards those of a lower social status is pretty similar. But while Darcy and his character development is held up as beautiful and heroic and romantic, Emma is frequently condemned as dislikable. I do wonder why that could be… Personally, I love Emma. She’s clever and shrewd and funny and, honestly, is there anyone who doesn’t think Miss Bates is annoying and doesn’t want to throw a tantrum at the prospect of being upstaged by Mrs. Elton? Are you, dear reader, such a paragon of rational enlightenment and charitable feeling? Would you instantly see through Frank Churchill and resist his flirtations? Would you be best friends with Jane Fairfax and not be just a little bit jealous of her and how much Mr. Knightley everyone seems to admire her? Have you never said something cutting and regretted it? Are you perfect, reader, ARE YOU? Come on. Emma is one of us. She messes up, she judges badly, she says cringeworthy stuff in inappropriate situations, she gives bad advice - she’s human. And she deals with it without losing her positive outlook and she does grow, enough to “deserve” her happy ending (though that’s a loaded concept) but not so much it’s unrealistic. And what makes her likeable through it all are that her intentions are good. Emma is not a bad person who has to become good and “be redeemed”. She is a fundamentally warm and caring person who needs to have some bad habits of thought and action corrected by guidance and experience. Emma’s intentions and understanding are good from the beginning.

Emma’s also interesting because, yes, she does change, but if you put her in the context of the genre she inhabits, she also gets to keep a lot. Basically, in another novel, Emma would have to pay significant penance for her bad behaviour before she would be allowed to marry Mr. Knightley and she would have to prove that she is a changed woman and is absolutely not going to continue meddling and will be a good and submissive wife. Usually this also involves giving up the dangerous reading of novels which have led her astray. Several points. Firstly, Emma is not a novel reader, she is a novel writer. Emma is described by various critics as “an avatar of Austen the author” and if you read the novel through the prism of Emma being an author, things become really fascinating. Beautiful, illegitimate Harriet Smith is the heroine of Emma’s novel and obviously Emma-as-author wants to discover that she is really the long lost daughter of Somebody and give her a socially advantageous marriage. Emma’s matchmaking attempts are the workings of a novelist plotting with characters. Emma is creating her own world. This is radical stuff, in a society where female novelists were looked down upon. Emma has the means and independence and cleverness to write a story of her own - and she is comically bad at it. This is one way in which Austen plays with genre. Secondly, it is not at all clear that Emma does give up her matchmaking at the end of the novel. Austen is coy when she floats this suggestion about Mrs. Weston’s daughter: “[Emma] would not acknowledge that it was with any view of making a match for her, hereafter, with either of Isabella’s sons”. Does this suggest that maybe Emma isn’t as cured as she should be? Thanks to Austen’s levels of irony it’s impossible to tell, which is the point. Thirdly, Emma is the only Austen heroine to have real financial and social clout. Emma really does rule Highbury and at the end of the novel, instead of being subsumed into her husband’s world, he in fact moves in with her (however temporarily). This is practically the Regency equivalent of her keeping her name after marriage. She and Mr. Knightley are social equals and she does not leave her home or her sphere of influence when she marries. The only other heroine this would be true of is, interestingly enough, Fanny Price. But Mansfield Park is notoriously inward looking and Fanny’s ending allows her to truly become a Bertram which is what she wanted all along for better or worse. And Fanny and Edmund’s social status and influence are much less significant that Knightley and Emma’s are.

Something else to bear in mind when thinking about Emma’s character is that, despite her social power and wealth, she also lives an extremely confined and limited life. She is essentially a carer for her stultifying and claustrophobic father. She has never left the environs of Highbury. She is surrounded by people who jump to her every command and shower her in praise, both deserved and undeserved. The only person who criticises her is also in love with her. The only eligible men in her world before the arrival of Frank Churchill are her brother-in-law who is 16 years older than her, and the obsequious vicar. Yes, she can remain a spinster but even a rich spinster cannot maintain the sort of power she currently holds when faced with a married woman like Mrs. Elton (who is a real threat to her), but her alternatives are bleak. A woman of her rank and fortune should be having a London season and meeting other young people of her rank and forming external connections. Because of her father’s passive control over her, Emma has none of these opportunities. Even Fanny Price travels more and meets more people than Emma does. Yes, Emma Woodhouse is handsome, rich and clever and has had very little to vex her, but I suspect that is probably Emma’s own view of her life and it is not necessarily accurate.

Okay, this post is already far too long so I’ll end my discussion of the novel here. There’s also a lot that could be said about Jane and Frank, Emma and Mr. Knightley’s relationship and more, but Emma is clearly the most important and, honestly, the most in need of defence!

Onto the adaptations, and I’ll try to be brief:

1. The Gwyneth Paltrow film. Jeremy Northan is divine though his hair could be better and he’s not my favourite Mr. Knightley, even if I do have a massive crush on JN. Harriet Smith is a not particularly attractive redhead which is… weird. Frank Churchill is Ewan McGregor but he has appalling hair so IDK what was going on there - such a missed opportunity. Gwyneth Paltrow as Emma is a casting disgrace and I honestly can’t bear to watch this film because every time she is on screen I cringe. The producers were more interested in the aesthetic than making a good adaptation. My grandma hated it. Enough said.

2. The Kate Beckinsale film. Honestly, I don’t dislike anything about this except that I wish it were a mini-series and the proposal scene is a bit… eh. But I think it manages to stay true to the book in a feature film and I love Kate Beckinsale’s Emma. She has the right mix of liveliness and arrogance for me. Mark Strong is a stern Mr. Knightley but he’s not too handsome. Frank Churchill is perfect in this adaptation. Controversially, this is my favourite period adaptation.

3. The Romola Garai miniseries. I love lots about this mainly because the length allows everything to be expanded suitably. Johnny Lee Miller is the best Knightley by far. The Eltons are fabulous. Frank and Jane’s relationship gets more time dedicated to it. The Westons and Bateses are great. Harriet Smith is dumbed down too much - she’s naive and not too bright but this adaptation makes her practically an idiot, almost as much a disservice as the 2005 P&P film’s character assassination of Bingley, though physically the actress is perfect and she’s very likeable. And I really do appreciate what they were trying to do with Emma. It was clearly an informed choice to make her bubbly and often silly and a chosen interpretation of the text and I respect that - better that than wilful misinterpretation which some adaptations go in for. I fundamentally disagree with it - whatever her faults, I don’t think Emma is silly and giggly and I struggle to believe this Emma is a 21 year old woman secure in her position as a social leader. Her mannerisms often come across very modern - her little waves, giggles and posture and this is very irritating because Romola Garai has done some fantastic period acting (Daniel Deronda, The Hour etc.) and these mannerisms aren’t consistent across the cast. I love Romola Garai and I think it’s an interesting choice of direction, but not one that rings true to how I see the character though.

4. Clueless. Clearly the best adaptation of Emma ever made. We all know it.

5. Emma Approved. Only seen a bit of it and didn’t warm to it. Should probably give it another go. Why did they change Knightley’s name to Alex? What the hell is wrong with George!?!?

Anyway, here are my thoughts on Emma. Hope they’re at least somewhat interesting. There is nothing I like better than rambling on about Jane Austen! :-) Thank you for giving me the opportunity!

#Emma #Jane Austen #Emma Woodhouse #literature #books

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monsterproblems · 6 years ago

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Genre: Sci-Fi’ish Comedy

Premise: In a future where the world has been overrun by monsters, a young man risks his life to get to the woman he’s fallen for.

About: Brian Duffield is one of my favorite writers. One of his scripts, Your Bridesmaid is a Bitch, is on my Top 25. And through no fault of his own, another of his projects, Jane Got A Gun, found itself in the middle of a production circus when on the first day of shooting the director of the film just decided not to show up. This resulted in actors dropping out, other actors switching roles, and a full-on game of production musical chairs. Monster Problems was picked up last year. It’s unclear where it is in development. I’ll tell you this right now, though. If I were a studio, this is one of the first scripts I’d green light.

Writer: Brian Duffield

Details: 113 pages (undated)

Okay, so I want you to imagine Sleepless in Seattle. Mixed with a John Hughes film. Mixed with Harry Potter. Mixed with Pacific Rim.

You may be saying, “Carson, that is an unbelievable combination of films. There is nobody in the world who could make that work.”

Ladies and Gentleman, may I introduce you to Brian Duffield. The only person in the world who can make that work. And honestly, I’m in awe of the guy. I really am. I don’t know anyone else on earth who has this kind of imagination, that is also good with character, who can also create a believable and touching romance, who can also add hilarious comedy and lots of heart, whose writing style is sparse yet packed with information, who can ALSO tell a great story, and who always surprises you with his choices.

You just don’t find that kind of writer often. If ever. And it kind of depresses me. Because we’re all supposed to have weaknesses. Those weaknesses are what make other writers feel like they shouldn’t commit suicide. It’s important for them to be able to say, “Okay, sure he can do comedy. But he can’t develop characters like I can.” Duffield can do it all. I guess maybe in Jane Got A Gun, things were a little slow. Maybe when he’s not able to use comedy, his scripts aren’t as entertaining? Maybe that’s a weakness? I guess. Or maybe he purposefully slowed things down in “Jane” because he didn’t want to make all us other writers feel bad.

So what’s Monster Problems about?

This guy, Joel Dawson. A really good guy, this Joel. But he’s been dealt a shitty hand. He lives in this underground bunker with 37 people and he’s the only single guy there. Everyone else is always making out and having sex while he’s just… dreaming of what it would be like to have a girlfriend. Oh, and then, of course, it’s a hundred or so years in the future where the world’s been overtaken by monsters. Bad hand once again. It’s safe to say poker’s not Joel’s thing.

The one thing Joel’s got to look forward to is a girl. Her name is Aimee. She’s got red hair. He knows that because he asked, though he’s never seen her. See, Aimee is in another bunker 30 miles from his. And they can only contact this bunker for a couple minutes a day due to battery issues. And because the hope of being with Aimee is the only reason for Joel to put on his pants every morning, he decides to do the unthinkable – go to her.

Now that might not sound difficult to you or me. 30 miles puts a lot of stress on your quads but it’s doable. Here’s the problem. Monsters. And this isn’t the monster problem you see in Pacific Rim. Or that indie movie, “Monsters.” You know when Will Smith says in the “After Earth” trailer, “Everything on this planet has evolved to kill humans?” And then you went to see the movie and nothing on this planet had evolved to kill humans?

Well imagine a movie where that was actually the case. The second Joel leaves the bunker, he’s attacked by a strange dog-like critter, a raptor-thing, a giant frog, a giant spider, giant killer moths, a weird seven feet tall ghost-like centipede thing, a three headed T-Rex, a giant sea creature, as well as a few other beasts so strange they’re impossible to describe! And all Joel is armed with is a crossbow and a mangy dog he finds along the way.

Joel fights for his life, almost dies a thousand times, saves his dog, gets saved by his dog, meets a father-like figure, meets an astronaut robot, almost dies a thousand more times, etc. There aren’t many things Joel doesn’t experience on this perilous journey. But will he make it to Aimee? And what will happen if he does? Will she be everything he hoped for?

This script. Was awesome.

Period.

It was awesome. Where do I begin? Oh, I know. I’ll begin at the end. Duffield arcs the dog character. You read that right. Duffield GIVES A CHARACTER ARC TO THE DOG! Remember the scene in Cast Away where Wilson, an inanimate object, floats away forever? And you were crying, desperately hoping your date or parents didn’t look over at that exact moment and see you drowning in tears?

There’s a moment that rivals that here with the dog. The dog, you see, was found clinging to the dress of his long-since disappeared female master. He won’t leave with Joel until Joel brings that dress with him. And he’s so stuck on that dress. He cares more about that dress than he does Joel. And then in the end (spoiler), that dress gets stuck in the ocean, where Joel is battling a monster, and he has a choice to either go after the dress or save Joel. And he picks Joel. He changes. The dog arcs. Not barcs. Arcs. And it was so fucking good you cried just like when Wilson died.

Oh, and did I tell you about the astronaut? Yeah. One of my favorite scenes all year has this robot astronaut, split in two, only wires holding her together, pulling herself across the terrain, bumping into Joel, explaining she only has 16 minutes left before her battery runs out. And the two just share her last moments together before she dies. And it’s heartbreaking. And I don’t fucking understand how anybody comes up with this stuff. We can talk about structure until the screencows come home. But you still have to have imagination. You still have to come up with unique choices. How does Duffield bring a nearly dead cut-in-half female robot astronaut into a story about monsters taking over the earth and make it work? I don’t know but it fucking makes me jealous.

And then there’s the ending. I’m not going to get into spoilers, but let’s just say what you thought was going to happen doesn’t happen. That ALSO is a trait of great writers. They take you to the place you think you’re going, then totally change things up on you. You realize the writer is in control. Not you.

There were a few other reasons I loved this script. The main character is a lovable loser. But when he befriends this dog and loses his loneliness, we officially fall in love with him. It’s really hard to have a character befriend a dog or save a dog and not like him. As ridiculous and simplistic as it sounds: we like people who love animals. Who will protect them. It’s crazy how obvious this is, yet when it’s done well, as it is here, it makes the character irresistible.

And I love stories where the obstacles are impossible, where the writer is never easy on his hero. His hero has to earn every step he takes. Remember in After Earth, where the main character is basically guided by his father the whole way? So he didn’t really earn anything? He just follows orders. Here, Joel earns every step he takes. He finds the solutions to all the problems. He outruns or outsmarts or outbeats all the monsters.

And the sheer number of monsters he has to take on is ridiculous. At one point he’s trying to get over a rickety bridge when giant moths with needle teeth attack him, teeth that inject deadly venom into him, while a 3 headed T-Rex is trying to kill him, while he drops his only weapon, his crossbow, into the monster-infested waters below. There are so many moments like this where you wonder, “How the hell is he going to get out of this alive?” And because the odds are so heavily stacked against him, we hover over the page with baited breath, reading as fast as we can so we can get the answer.And then at the heart of this script is… heart. See that’s the thing. All these big effects movies have zero heart, have zero characters we really care about. I mean does anybody in the world really care about Shia LaBeouf in Transformers? Here, we care about Joel. We care about his dog. Because Duffield knows that none of those effects will matter. This is about the character. And you will like Joel. You will love Joel. You will love this journey he goes on. You will be shocked by the ending. And when it’s over, it’ll be one of the few times you’ve finished a script and wished there were more pages to read.

[ ] what the hell did I just read?

[ ] wasn’t for me

[ ] worth the read

[x] impressive (TOP 25!!!)

[ ] genius

What I learned: The key to writing these scripts is mentally stripping out all the big creatures and monsters and robots and effects, and remembering that it’s a personal journey. Focus on making that personal journey work first. Make your audience fall in love with your main character and want them to succeed. And then build that effects world up afterwards. This is such simple advice and yet this is the first time I’ve seen it done in maybe two or three years? If you’re a big-budget writer, get this right and you’ll be golden.

What I learned 2: Choose action over dialogue to build a relationship. — Let’s say you only have one scene to make us care about a key relationship in your script. In this case, we’ll use Joel and the dog as the characters. Scene Option 1 has Joel talking to the dog over the fire. Scene Option 2 has both of them being attacked by a monster, and Joel has to make a choice between either saving himself or trying to save the dog. ALWAYS choose the second scene option. Action always accelerates a relationship faster than dialogue. Obviously, scripts are long so you’ll have the opportunity to do both, but always favor action over dialogue when you can.

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tamtam-go92 · 6 years ago

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Pleasantview +25 years recap

Pleasantview +25 years is my attempt at joining all my favorite families through out the franchise in one save. I've spent about four days in creating over 45 families that populate all of the worlds I have in The Sims 4. And when I say I created them, I actually mean I downloaded them from the gallery. =//) I'm not particularly good at creating Sims... Willow Creek are only Pleasantview Sims, Oasis Springs are mostly Strangetown Sims, Newcrest are mostly rich Sims from all the games, San Myshuno is everyone I didn't know where to locate them, mostly single Sims, and Banacle Bay are the creative and LGBT Sims. I also really need to thank @homijoh for sharing her rule set with us some time ago. I loved it and I'm using it for this rotational game play. For more information (I warn you, A LOT of Information since I tell a thing or two about every family) look behind the cut!

Willow Creek:

Broke I Household: Brandi, Beau and Skip Junior – Brandi never remarried and did an okay job at raising three boys on her own.

Broke II Household: Dustin, Angela, Susan, Mitch, Melinda, Brad – Dustin had got Angela pregnant as a teen and from that day on, their relationship went downhill. Why they are still together? Probably because of their four children.

Burb Household: John, Jennifer, Michael – Michael is the recreation of a son the Burbs had once in my game. Never forgot him =)

Dreamer Household: Dirk, Lilith, Hugo, Irmi – Hugo and Irmi are twins and their parent's whole proud.

Dreamer-Goth Household: Darren, Cassandra, Manuel, Daniela, Dorothee – After a bad divorce from Don Lothario, Cassandra found true love in Darren Dreamer and they had two girls. Darren took her son with Don in, like his own flesh.

Goth Household: Alexander, Lucy, Agatha – Alex and Lucy are too buzy with their career to care for their only daughter Agatha.

Goth-Caliente Household: Dina, Nina, Simon, Enrique – Dina inherited Goth Manor from her decreased husband Mortimer and took her sister and nephew in.

Langerak-Pleasant Household: Daniel, Kaylynn, Trina, Zelda – After leaving Mary-Sue for the Maid, Daniel wouldn't have thought to ever hear teenage girls fight again, yet here he is!

Lothario Household: Don, Bianca – Don was a d*ck to women and here he is, estranged from his two sons. After an abduction by aliens and the birth of his daughter Bianca Don suddenly saw clear regarding his sexuality.

Oldie Household: Mary-Sue is divorced and moved back in with her parents. Since 25 years she's bickering with her elderly mother.

Oasis Springs:

Beaker Household: Loki, Circe, Atom, Ceres – With his clone children Loki could save Circe from a pregnancy and yet have his perfect family!

Curious Household: Pascal, Vidcund, Lazlo, Crystal, Tycho, Techna, Erik, Marie – Crystal has no idea how she managed to live with her brothers in law and their strange kids for over 20 years.

Grunt Household: Ripp, Buck, Jill, Ralf – People say the older sibling should be responsible for the younger siblings. Tell that Ripp Grunt...

Landgraab Household: Nancy, Geoffrey, Malcolm – Just the normal Sims 4 Landgraab family.

Loner Household: Ajay, Erin, Vincent, Linus – Ajay married Erin Beaker and had two boys with her.

Roomies Household: Zoe, Mitchel, J, Gavin – Just the normal Sims 4 Roomies household.

Smith Household: Johnny, Ophelia, Sally, Ginny, Ben, Dora – The only problem of this family is, which of the girls should share their room with their baby sister.

Zugovich Household: A family introduced in the Sims pet stories. Just a little gag to add some fresh blood.

Newcrest:

Alto Household: Holly II, Don, Trenton – My interpretation is, that the Holly Alto from DS is the daughter of the Holly Alto from The Sims 3. Trenton is a Sim from Lunar Lakes.

Capp Household: Juliette, Romeo, Cleo, Linea – Juliette married her big love, she had her happy ending with her Romeo.

Jacquet Household: Gilbert, Florence, Sébastian – I never really shipped those two, but I wanted to include both.

Summerdream Household: Bottom, Hal, Fiona – Hal and Bottom usually end up together in my game and make a decent couple.

Worthington Household: Frances J- III, Joyce, Frances J. IV – Frances has his trophy wife and a beautiful daughter to keep the name alive.

San Myshuno:

Bunch Household: Mary – Mary is a descendant of the Sunset Valley Bunches.

Elson Household: Craig II – Craig is named after his great-grandfather from Starlight Shores.

Fair-weather Friends Household: Keiko, Mateo, Anthony, Holly – Just the household form the gallery.

Gieke Household: Chester, Testee – Chester lives a life in retreat with his alien daughter.

Inkbeard Household: Opal, Jane – Opal is a descendant of the Barnacle Bay Inkbeard family and Jane is her wife.

Karaoke Legends Household: Miko, Darling, Akira – Just the normal Karaoke Legends Household from The Sims 4.

Newon Household: Garrett – Garrett Newson looked for a life in solitude after growing up in a crowded place.

Pancakes Household: Bob, Eliza, Igga – The Sims 4 Pancakes family with their gallery son Iggy just moved to San Myshuno.

Patel Household: Ramir, Ana, Louis, Maya, Mali, Kirian – The Patels form Belladonna Cove with their four children. They aren't related with Zoe Patel from Oasis Springs.

Sekemoto Household: Cecila, Len – Cecilia is the grand-daughter of Sam Sekemoto. I created her a long time ago in the Sims 2 and there she became Alexander Goth's wife (his wife in the DS version is called Cecilia. But now she's only the mother of Len Sekemoto, a Sim from Lunar Lakes.

Sims Household: John – Your average white guy next door and son of the tutorial Sims.

Tricou Household: Orion – Always a loner Orion lives in an almost empty penthouse.

Vatore Household: Caleb, Lilith – The Vatore family from Forgotten Hollow. I don't have Vampires, so they are just some ordinary Gothics.

Xio Household: Tian – He's from Shang Simala and just recently moved to San Myshuno.

Yuan Household: Kien – After a successful career as a k-pop icon, Kien retired in San Myshuno.

Brindleton Bay:

Climate Household: Arthur, Janine, Summer, Nicolas – Just the normal Climate family from the gallery.

Delgato Household: Supriya, Justin, Pierce, Evie – Just the normal Sims 4 Delgato family.

GilsCarbo Household: Goopy, Alice, Celeste – Everybody's favorite townie with his Sims 3 family.

Hecking Household: Just the ordinary Sims 4 Hecking family.

Lynx Household: Just the ordinary Sims 4 Lynx family.

Monty Household: Mercutio, Tybalt – After their hate turned into love, those two ran away together and now own a huge mansion in Brindleton Bay.

Ottomas Household: David – After growing up with much to many siblings, all David wanted to be was alone.

Una Household: Natasha, Joana – Nobody ever knew who Joana's father was. It's totally wasn't obvious!

I haven’t played much until now, only about 36 hours with the Broke I household. I suspect it to be a bit buggy with SO many sims (it’s already 147) but I hope my PC can handle it. I’m really excited to play this!

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kurt-nightcrawler · 6 years ago

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Not Liz Allen

Title: Not Liz Allen

A/N: This was requested so freaking long ago, and I want to apologize for not posting it sooner. I haven’t been posting any writing since I don’t have access to a computer anymore really (I’m at the library for the first time in months.) But I am saving up to get a computer, so hopefully I’ll be posting more soon! (I’m almost halfway to my goal!) I hope you enjoy!!

Request: can you do a tom holland spiderman one shot? The girl being the one next round lizard the trailer, the blonde one who is crushing hard on peter but he likes Liz. If possible for it to be fluff and maybe have a good ending, you decide. Tnx

Warning: Some angst? Maybe one swear word? Pretty much fluff not gonna lie

Maybe today would be different. You snorted, it would never be different. You’d go to school and complete the same routine for the rest of your life. Wake up, go to school, go home, go to sleep, repeat. And when you got older change school to work.

Only one person got you truly excited for school. No, it wasn’t your friends. It was Peter Parker.

You’ve known him since kindergarten, but you two weren’t super close. Your friends weren’t always too nice to him, but you tried to be.

“Hey, Lizzy! How’d history class go?” “It was boring, but Parker presented his presentation on ancient Egyptian curses.” You loved ancient Egypt, trying to get your hands on every book about the subject. “Too bad we aren’t in the same-”

“Oh no. You are not pulling that card! You like him, go talk to him!” You shook your head, “Nu, uh. I’d rather not. I’d screw up or something.” Liz rolls her eyes, “He won’t be single forever ya know.”

The bell rings and you start walking to class, Liz’s warning loud in your mind.

In math class, you sat in the middle of the room. It was somehow almost isolated from everyone but at the same time close to everyone. As you sat down someone sat down next to you. Getting out last night’s homework you looked at the person next to you. “P-peter! Hey. How’d you do on the uh, homework?” ‘How’d you do on, the homework? You weirdo!’

“I did okay. It took some time, though. How about you?” “I did um, just, just fine, thanks.”

You two didn’t talk for almost the rest of class until Peter spoke up, “Can I ask you something?”

You looked at him, “Yeah! I mean, yeah. Yeah, sure. What is it?” “Is Liz really as nice as people say she is?”

You raised your brows, “Whaddya mean?” “I mean, she seems so nice and perfect. I wouldn’t want to end up finding out she’s a jerk or something. Which I’m sure she’s not! It’s just you’re friends with her, so I thought-”

“Peter. Liz is super nice and pretty, and one of my closest friends.” “Then I- It would seem a bit rude, but I’m going to ask anyways.”

“Shoot.” “What advice would you give to someone who wanted to say… Ask her out.”

Your heart sank to the bottom of the ocean. Peter, the guy you had been crushing on for years, had a crush on your best friend? I mean it came to no surprise to you, guys were lining up to date Liz. You usually didn’t even care, but Peter? This couldn’t be real. “Um, (Y/N)? (Y/N)?”

You went out of your foggy state, “Huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry. Um, uh she really likes the pizza place by the library, and we go to the skating rink on Fridays sometimes when it’s all neon-y. She’d like that.” The bell rang, dismissing the class. “Thanks so much (Y/N)!” Peter said darting out of the classroom. You only gave him a sad smile in return.

You ate lunch in the bathroom alone, not wanting to talk to Liz. It wasn’t her fault Peter liked her. You honestly couldn’t blame him.

After school, you were just about to walk home when you were stopped. Stopped by Peter.

“Hey, (Y/N) wait up!” “What do you want Peter?” “Hey, I was uh, wondering if you wanted to come over and study? I saw you got number 4 on homework wrong, and I thought you’d want help.”

“Sure.” “Great! Wanna go to my place?” “Yeah. Just let me get my stuff packed. It will only take a minute.” You put your homework in your bag in silence. The tension made Peter a bit uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry!”

You looked at him, “Sorry for what?” “I’m sorry I asked for advice on how to ask out Liz. You seemed a bit uncomfortable about it, and you weren’t at lunch.” “No. I was just-”

“If I were to hypothetically date Liz, nobody would support us. And that’s fine, but I would want you too. I really like you, (Y/N). And if you think I’m not good enough for Liz, then I respect your decision.”

You sighed, “Peter. I think you’re a great guy, and if you wanna date Liz, then go ahead.” He ran a hand nervously through his hair, “That’s just it. I, I don’t want to date Liz.”

You almost dropped your bag, “What?” “I was going to ask her out. I had rehearsed in my head what I was going to say, I had already walked over to Liz. But then she asked me.” “Asked you what?” “She asked me where you were.”

“Hey, Peter! Have you seen (Y/N)?” “N-not since math. Why? Is everything okay?” “I just haven’t seen her since this morning, and I'm kind of worried about her." "I'm sure she's fine. If I see her I'll tell you." He heard her call out a "Thanks Pete!" As he hurried to woodshop.

"Ned! What if HYRDA Kidnapped her? What if she got hurt? What if-"

"Slow down! I'm sure (Y/N) is fine. Why are you so worried anyways?" Peter blushed, "I just... She's Liz's best friend. And if Liz is worried then I'm worried. I get stressed easily, you know." Ned smiled to himself, 'Just Liz's best friend my ass.'

It was Peter's final class and his teacher was talking about some affair some old scholar from the 16th century had. He wasn't paying much attention.

"Peter!"

"Y-yes Mr. Smith?"

"Please read the paragraph on page 439 for us."

"Thomas Johnson had married Mary Red believing she was his truest love. They had gotten married two years prior, and in 1548 had a son named Matthew. However, everyone in the village believed Thomas loved Mary's sister, Jane. Thomas denied these claims, but after Mary's death in 1551 he asked Jane to courtship and the village's accusations were correct. They later got married in 1553." Mr. Smith nodded, "Thank you Peter. Jenny can you read the rest for us please?" "Yes sir."

As Jenny read Peter's mind went straight to Liz and (Y/N). They were almost like sisters.

His mind then drifted to last week when (Y/N) tried to ask out Brandon, only to get rejected being told, 'She just wasn't Liz Allen.' How many times had she heard that?

In that moment Peter realized why (Y/N) was missing. "I am such an idiot." The bell rang, and Peter sprinted to (Y/N)'s locker.

"I don't get it. Why are you telling me this?"

"I'm telling you this because I was stupid. So stupid. I realized that through all this time, I know your favorite book, your favorite movie, your secret about loving Harley Quinn comic books, the fact you'd rather wear sweats to school than jeans, and that your favorite frozen yogurt flavor is (flavor).” He held her hand with his, “I like you. And you’re not some second option, I genuinely really like you.”

(Y/N) quickly kissed him. It was short, and sweet, but she thought, ‘If I’m dreaming, I better make the most of it.’

“Can we do that again?”

“Huh?”

“Kiss.”

She nodded, not completely trusting her voice.

His lips met her’s. This time with more passion, less sweet and more needy, tasting the chap stick one of them bared.

When they broke apart, (Y/N) looked into his chocolate eyes, radiating affection.

She grabbed her bag, and together, holding hands, they made their way to his apartment.

#peter parker x reader #spider-man x reader #spider-man #peter parker #peter parker drabble #spider-man drabble #peter parker oneshot #spider-man oneshot #fluff #liz allen #ned leeds #marvel #cutesy #teens being teens #my writing #my work

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raywritesthings · 6 years ago

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It is interesting that you can write 10 so well considering the way you feel about him. I understand what you mean, I do, but I think there’s more going on there and 10 is my favorite in part because he has such a depth, hurt and real emotions to him, even that he hurts others (and he does). I can’t stand 12 see him as almost evil. SoI get it! I just wanna say you have mad skills to be able to write him despite your feelings. So please don’t take this the wrong way. I couldn’t write 12. No way!

Anonymous said:Whoops, I didn’t realize there was a bit of an argument going on when I sent that last comment. I was just replying to your post about shipping 10 and Donna but not liking 10 outside of series 4! Definitely didn’t mean to get into anything here... Sorry! You can just ignore me. Lol.

Haha, no it’s okay. I think the debate has blown over. And sorry if it seems like I was ignoring this; I was just celebrating my birthday yesterday and didn’t have time to get on my laptop to properly reply. And it’s probably gonna be long (sorry) so the rest of this is gonna go under a cut. Read more if you all wanna know some of my thoughts on Ten, otherwise feel free to skip.

Firstly, I want to thank you for the compliment. Regardless of how I feel about a particular character, when I sit down and write them I try to get into their head and into what they’re thinking and do it from their point of view. Now, I don’t always agree with what they think/feel/do in the story, but I present it as logically as I can.

My frustration with Ten specifically is that, while David Tennant put so much into the character and RTD clearly had certain character beats or threads he wanted to explore - they’re never really given their proper due in the narrative.

Like, there’s this idea there that he and Rose are too reckless/careless in series 2, a bit too arrogant and uncaring of how their actions impact others (we see it specifically with Mickey and Jackie), and that it leads to the creation of an organization bent on stopping the Doctor (even though Rose was the one ceaseless bugging Victoria, but I digress). Here’s the thing, though: the initial plan for Tooth and Claw was for them to accidentally get Queen Victoria killed, thus altering/damaging history. Real consequences, not just a single moment where we see Jackie sad in the Elton episode, or Rose admitting for one second that they take Mickey for granted right before we say bye to him in the parallel world (for the time being). But without that plot, a majority of the audience completely misses that idea. Series 2 is considered the “good times” for Ten, where everything was right and nothing bad had happened yet. Never mind that there was plenty wrong with him already.

“Don’t you think she looks tired?” With one bit of misogynistic language, he topples the government that was supposed to usher in a Golden Age according to his previous incarnation. Into the power vacuum steps the Master. There’s this repeating theme that the Tenth Doctor creates his own worst problems, but it’s never really crystallized in the narrative. Again, I read that RTD was planning to emphasize that, but never quite got around to it.

On the other hand, the narrative has no problem shifting blame off of him wherever possible. “Then what happens next is your own doing,” he tells the Racnoss Empress before pressing a button he knows will drown all of her children. “You make me this,” he says to Miss Hartigan before destroying her and the other Cybermen. It doesn’t exactly matter that they’re evil; he’s still blaming the victim of his actions for causing his actions in the first place, rather than taking ownership of them. And other characters do it for him, too! “Some things are worth getting your heart broken for.” “The Doctor is worth the monsters.” “He’s like fire.” Like it’s just a natural thing that he can’t help it if you get hurt, when there are absolutely things he could be doing to mitigate the damage he causes, he just doesn’t. And almost nobody holds him accountable, at least not successfully.

Almost nobody - enter Donna Noble.

Donna was the best thing to ever happen to the Tenth Doctor’s character. I’ll be honest with you, I got into the show a bit late. DT was already gone, so I went back to watch his stuff after watching most of the Matt Smith era (what had aired of it at the time). A friend had told me to skip Rose, so I started right in on the Runaway Bride. Then, because I didn’t want to wait for more Donna, I skipped right over series 3 and went straight into 4. And here’s the thing; I genuinely liked his Doctor. I was enjoying it. Imagine when I then went back for series 3 and got to see what an asshole he’d been for an entire series to Martha. And then peeked back at series 2 to see if it was a fluke only to discover even more I found distasteful.

It was like night and day! He’s quite simply a different character around Donna. That’s the only real way I can explain it. Part of it just has to do with the Runaway Bride. It is so important to their development as characters and as a relationship. Because they see each other at their absolute worst - and there’s no hiding that. There’s really no excuses for it. Donna knows exactly what he is capable of - and demands better. Won’t take no for an answer. And because he wants to impress her, wants her to like him, he delivers. That’s simply it. He cares about her opinion of him in a way that he didn’t care about what Martha thought. He wanted Martha around, but he felt he had free license to lash out and give her as much hell as he liked until she refused to take it anymore.

People like to say he’s grieving in series 3. Okay, I get it’s fine to have emotions and feel sad and miss someone. That doesn’t give him a pass to treat the people around him - people he invites into his life - like dirt. And yet, he’s largely left off the hook for that. Martha gets her goodbye speech, and Ten admits to Donna in Partners in Crime that what happened “was all my fault”, but by the Sontaran Stratagem notice how the narrative has shifted what that means. What happened is no longer “I made Martha feel unwelcome and like she didn’t matter as much as other people for an entire year (or two)” and is instead “I taught Martha how to fight and she became a soldier”. Because it’s no fun acknowledging that your main character - the through-line for most of RTD’s era - was kind of an abusive friend.

The Tenth Doctor to me is a Byronic Hero in the worst sense. Broodingly handsome and haunted by the things he’s done in the past, meant for girls to swoon over and tolerate how he treats them because he’s in pain. But Donna doesn’t give any of that nonsense the time of day, and that’s why he had to change so much in series 4. The few times he slips back into it, she’s there to pull him out or flat-out tell him “I think you’re wrong”. If he had grown out of that Byronic phase of his life, if the series 4 him had remained for the rest of his run, I might have found his character alright. There was an arc there, and he learned something and improved.

But instead, with Journey’s End, all the good is undone. He lobotomizes Donna. Full-stop. Sends Rose away with his clone and doesn’t tell anyone else what’s going to happen or that he’ll be alone, because he knows what’s best for all of them and this has to be the way. I think he likes being that tragic figure a little too much. He enjoys blaming all of his woes on inevitability and “the curse of the Time Lords”. It’s nice to have a scapegoat for all his wrongs. (Isn’t it so convenient, that Dalek Caan prophecy which declares the metacrisis “destiny”? Almost like it’s not the Doctor’s fault for leaving his hand lying around chock full of regeneration energy for anyone to touch. It simply had to happen, completely out of his control. It’s not his fault, isn’t that nice?) And then he’s killing Miss Hartigan like he did the Racnoss Empress, he’s turning down Christina because he’s meant to be alone~, he’s fighting time itself in Waters of Mars.

Sidenote, I hate the whole Time Lord Victorious title-y thing. You know why? Cause it lets the narrative push the blame again. It’s treated like this separate persona, what he ‘almost became’ - bullshit. That was the Tenth Doctor. He did those things. He spiraled out of control. The only reason he stopped was because a woman put a bullet in her head. He thinks the Ood is there to signal his death at the end and to be honest, I agreed with him. He deserved to die there.

When it came down to the Tenth Doctor’s actual final episode, RTD had to make a choice between a big, bombastic finale and a quieter, personal one. He went with the first option; had to send his hero out with a proper swan song, right? But the quiet finale I feel had much more potential to do something good to his character. Nobody watches the End of Time now for the plot - they watch it for those quiet scenes between him and Wilf, where he finally starts to admit his failings and owns up to them. It is beautifully tragic, and rightly so. The Tenth Doctor is a mass of contradiction and complexity, and I can absolutely respect people who find value in that and consider him their favorite character. My issue stems with the way the narrative chose not to properly interact with that complexity. I have an issue with characters who get off scot-free while others are held accountable in the same narrative. It bothers me. The hypocrisy in the writing there feels like an injustice. It also doesn’t help that I think any and all Byronic Heroes can go step off the nearest cliff and stop bothering women who would be much better off without them.

So I think if I tried to write him outside of that series 4 bubble (excepting some kind of post-Journey’s End fixit or, possibly, something to do with Sarah Jane because she’s about the only other character who made him likable to me), you would see a much harsher take on him. I would write as fairly as I write any character I dislike, but I would hold him accountable where the show did not. I don’t know if that counts as bashing or not. To me, it’s honesty.

I think the reason I’m much more receptive to Twelve than you are is because I feel he does learn and improve from his initial beginnings. I’ve never managed to finish series 8. Believe me, I get it, it’s sometimes painful to sit and watch how he treats the people around him in those early episodes. But, if you haven’t done it, I would recommend skipping ahead and giving series 10 a try. Because to me, that is the proof that he learned, in a way Ten was never allowed to because RTD was determined to have his “tragic hero” ending. Certainly Twelve is not perfect (no Doctor is), but I would take his interactions with Bill Potts over series 2, 3, and the Specials any day.

So, if you read this far, again thanks very much for the compliment and for giving me the opportunity to expand on my Ten thoughts. I hope I didn’t offend, as I know it’s no fun to read criticisms of a favorite character, and I hope I continue to write him well for you!

#emerson replies #emerson rants #Anonymous

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mrsspidermanmaryjanewatsonparker · 7 years ago

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Part 4

One more for the road

“MURDERING SMALL ANIMALS Granted, it is a rat. But still, beating a small animal to death with a boot is probably not the healthiest way to relieve stress. Or is it? Since that one really shouldn't count, let's go with..”

So...this list couldn’t even make it to it’s full number without cheating. Shocker. “REMINISCING ABOUT THE "GOOD OLE DAYS” From time to time, usually when fraught with worry, Mary Jane might pull out an old yearbook and start reminiscing about the good old days when her husband was in love with her best friend. I don't care what you say, that's just complicated and weird.”

Gwen wasn’t Mary Jane’s best friend but I will let this slie since most people think that.

Ben doesn’t care what we say. Nor does he care for abject reality apparently.

Reminiscing about the past when life was less complicated and people you cared about were still alive isn’t weird it’s human.

Arguing that she’s remembering a time when her BFF was dating her husband is weird is just...immature.

Gwen is dead and MJ knows Peter loves her more.

So she can remember positive times with her friend who died without getting insecure about it, much as Peter can remember those times and not feel it compromises his love for Mary Jane in the present day.

But Ben’s demonstrated an awful lot of insecurity thus far anyway.

Oh and MJ did this like...maybe 5 times across 20 years. Maybe.

“INFIDELITY There was a time period where Mary Jane entertained the idea of having an affair with a character named Jerome James, accompanied by the clichéd reluctant kiss.”

No there wasn’t.

She was attracted to him and he was on her mind because she was lonely and vulnerable.

She did even LESS ‘contemplating’ than Homer Simpson did about Mindy in ‘the Last Temptation of Homer Simpon’ episode. She didn’t even take things as far as Marge Simpson did in that episode from season 1 where she began spending time with that creepy dude from the bowling alley.

He took advantage of her, the harassed her and she ONLY met him face to face to tell him to leave her alone.

That isn’t infidelity.

Not even a little bit.

Which means this next sentence.

“While this may be a realistic story to tell of a wife that often feels abandoned by her husband, there’s probably no quicker way to turn an audience against a character than infidelity.”

Makes no sense, demonstrates a misunderstanding of what words mean what and yeah is also pretty sexist again. Shocker.

“Even the contemplation of infidelity. (The one and only time I ever wrote and mailed a letter to Marvel as a kid, was to express my complete disgust of this subplot.)”

Then Ben is a goddam immature loser who doesn’t understand how grown-ups act. The entire storyline actually exists specifically to demonstrate that MJ WOULDN’T cheat on Peter and is ultimately loyal to him.

Plus...I’ll be honest...I always kind of felt the Jason Jerome storyline was a bit out of character for Mary Jane anyway so it shouldn’t really count in the first place.

“Even her eventual "heroic" denial of his advances did little to undo the damage done.”

In Ben’s eyes but most people don’t even remember this moment because it’s outweighed by all the OTHER heroic and selfless things MJ has ever done.

A moment of weakness in a storyline of questionable characterization?

Yeah...how dare Mary Jane not be flawless.

I notice Ben has never mentioned Peter thinking about Gwen or Felicia during his marriage to MJ or times when he has, quite naturally, taken notice of other attractive women.

It’s almost like there is a bullshit double standard in play here wherein Ben is incapable of seeing past his biases and prejudices for a solitary moment.

“DRESSING HER HUSBAND IN THIS OUTFIT

Okay, that’s just a joke, but on the subject on outfits…”

Again, Ben has to pad out the list with bullshit because his whole stance is bullshit.

“DEMANDING PETER GET RID OF THE BLACK COSTUME

Mary Jane’s feelings were hurt by Venom, so she decided that Peter could no longer wear what was arguably the best alternate costume ever created.”

Fuck Ben.

Nobody could look at the end of ASM #299 or the FIRST PAGE of ASm #300 and say it was a case of MJ’s feelings merely being hurt.

He didn’t call he ugly like a schoolyard bully.

Venom TRAUMATIZED her.

He terrified her and reduced her to tears of complete fear for her life.

And he frightened Peter himself even.

Her feelings were not hurt she was one step away from PTSD.

Her husband was now dressing in a costume that made him look just like her victimizer and maybe mental abuser and she asked him to get rid of it. She didn’t even say that she just told him it made her uncomfortable and being the good husband he was he got rid of the thing that made his WIFE feel bad and reminded her of being a victim (which is kind a big deal for someone who grew up in an abusive household you fuck!)

But yes MJ is such a total b**** for asking her husband to dump a costume that looked kewl.

Dump the costume that literally made him look like a homicidal maniac a fact that Peter himself brings up, meaning abandoning the outfit was a practical move regardless.

“I liked the black costume, and she was just being unreasonable.”

I’d hate to be Ben’s partner. I really would.

Also I’ll say it...the red and blue costume is better.

It’s not more slick or bad ass...but it’s SPIDER-MAN.

“Okay fine, maybe she was being perfectly reasonable, and with the creation of Venom there was a good editorial reason for Spider-Man to stop wearing the costume. But still, I liked it.”

So instead of this being a top 10 most unhealthy things MJ did in the marriage it’s a top 10 Ben Smith’s immature pet peeves due to being incapable of reading and understanding literature list.

“ABANDONING HER HUSBAND Almost from the moment the decision was made to marry Peter Parker and Mary Jane, editors were looking for ways to erase it.”

No they weren’t.

It wasn’t until like 1995 that was a thing, a full 8 years after the fact.

8 years after the fact isn’t ‘almost from the moment’ of anything....at all.

Learn to know what words mean Ben!

“Nobody wanted Peter to be a divorcee or widower, so that left only convoluted methods to end this vile abomination of a status quo.”

I’d take vile convoluted methods to end this vile abomination of a ‘list’.

The Clone Saga famously began as a way for Peter and Mary Jane to ride off into the sunset and return a younger-seeming, unattached Spider-Man to the forefront.”

No it didn’t.

It began as a way of competing with Knightfall and Death of Superman with DeFalco and Fingeroth’s behind the scenes intentions being that Peter and MJ would return with a baby whilst Ben Reilly got a spin off like War Machine or Thunderstrike.

Plans changed when DeFalco stopped being EIC.

“That didn’t work out, so next came John Byrne. His first attempt was to have Mary Jane appear to be killed in a plane crash, but despite how unlikable she sometimes became, nobody wanted to her to die. So instead, it turns out she was really kidnapped by an obsessed stalker, and Spider-Man had to find her and save her. (I’ve never actually read this story, so if I got the details wrong, whatever, you win.) The trauma of her imprisonment, and Peter’s continued adventuring, forces her to decide that they’re better off apart. (I’m guessing those were the reasons, because I’m not reading that comic in full.)”

I’m not reading the story that I’m commenting on or criticising because I’m super duper good at my job of throwing out criticism ya know!

Also Byrne left long before the MJ break up thing and it wasn’t even clear cut that that was the case because it was so poorly written. It may well have just been a trial separation.

“Thus began the separation status quo, with Mary Jane out of the picture off in California, and Peter on his own but not really single in NYC. It was not a good look for either character.”

Yes it was.

This was the JMS run which SAVED Spider-Man after Mackie had brought the series to the brink of destruction.

JMS intentionally separated them specifically to reconstruct Peter after Mackie’s character assassination.

He stripped Peter down to his nuts and bolts as a character in order to win back readers (it worked) and then he used the separation to make a point about what the marriage meant to Peter and MJ and why it was important via it’s absence.

It was an arc specifically ABOUT fixing the marriage and FIXING the seires by bringing them back together and making them stronger than before.

And it also worked.

But maybe Ben missed that because he was wanking to his pre-marriage MJ issues or something.

“You either have to end the relationship, or embrace it (for all of JMS’ faults as a Spider-Man writer, and human being, at least he decided to depict the marriage as positively as possible) but keeping the marriage in limbo served no one.”

Except everyone and the series as a whole and wound up being incredibly positive because by exploring how they felt about being apart JMS made a point about why they SHOULD be together.

Also...faults as a human being?

“(For the record, I think the McFarlane and Larsen runs had some of the best depictions of Mary Jane as a loving and supportive wife. They also had Jonathan Caesar, but that's a whole other topic.)”

So now Ben is PRAISING the very runs he is also blaming for all this bad shit?

Also Jonathan Caesar was a GOOD aspect of the seires. A realistic human villain for Mj specifically who could hurt her and Peter believably. Creepier than guys in Rhino suits any day.

But here is the real part that pisses me off.

This list is about MJ’s unhealthy behaviours during the marriage and this point is about her ‘abandoning’ Peter.

Fuck Ben.

MJ didn’t ‘abandon Peter in the points he raised. She has post traumatic stress disorder from being kidnapped and imprisoned for SIX MONTHS in one little room and chose to leave him after that temporarily.

That is NOT abandonment and the fact that it’s not even considering her feelings ont he matter is disgusting frankly.

“Infidelity, abandonment, cigarettes, and dancing. Not a good look for what was once one of the best supporting characters in the Spider-Man comics.”

She didn’t abandon him. She didn’t commit infidelity, there was nothing wrong with the cigarettes, absolutely nothing wrong with the dancing and she continued being the best supporting character in all Spider-Man comics.

But hey....incompetence, sexism, toxic bias, misinformation and outright lying. Not a good look for what once one of the best...oh wait. Ben Smith and Comics Cube have never been the best at anything...except bullshit.

“That's not even mentioning the other terrible subplots we were subjected to that were not her fault. It may not have been her fault in-story that she was sexually harassed by Jonathan Caesar in a story that refused to ever end, but it's not like we would have ever had to read it if she didn't become Spider-Man's wife.”

The Jonathan Caeser plot was good and DID end so he’s again lying there. But why trust the word of a man who literally doesn’t understand the definition of what certain words mean.

Also you could’ve told some take upon the Jonathan Caesar storyline even if Peter and MJ were not married or in a relationship.

“To be clear, I'm not blaming the victim in any way, I'm blaming the creative teams for believing that would be even remotely interesting to read.”

I really don’t believe that Ben isn’t blaming the victim based upon what I’ve just subjected myself to.

“I do not like reading or watching anything like that, ever.”

Your preferences aren’t the grand arbiter of quality or consensus within Spider-Man fandom Ben.

“I actively choose to avoid fiction like that.”

Then do not read Spider-Man because most of this stuff is bread and butter to Spider-Man stories.

“Beyond that, there were the little dramas that came with being, and I hate even typing this, a soap opera star. Nothing says fun-filled superhero action like Mary Jane being chastised by overzealous elderly fans.”

Spider-Man isn’t entirely ABOUT ‘fun filled superhero action’ jackass. It’s ALSO about normal life down to earth human drama and has always been since day one because Spider-Man IS a soap opera.

Fucking idiot.

“Hey kids, this issue Mary Jane and Aunt May get in a spat over Peter's best interests! Excelsior!”

Oh you mean like that time GWEN and Aunt May did that in a run long predating the marriage? Excelsior jackass.

“I know some of you will read this and come to the conclusion that I hate Mary Jane as a character, but I can assure you that is not the case.”

I sense a disturbance in the Force. As if a million voices cried out in unison chanting ‘LIAR’

“Like I wrote earlier, when I was a kid she helped form the template for what I wanted in a wife one day.”

That’s weird and gross and sad fucked up.

“Now, that was mostly based on her being smoking hot and usually very loyal and supportive (and also they had sex a lot, like A LOT)”

Yep. A sexist dudebro. I knew it. He’s Marvel material though.

“but those things don’t hold as much weight on an ongoing basis as an adult reader.”

Then maybe you outgrew the series. Or maybe the series outgrew you since MJ was supportive more often than not.

“The fact remains, that beyond her usefulness as eye candy and that occasional support system, her status as the wife of Spider-Man was so badly mishandled that there’s no objective way to conclude that the marriage was a success narratively.”

Yeah there is. Most people conclude that.

Because most people are capable of narratively analysing stories better than Big Ben over here.

“Almost everyone that argues otherwise, argues for the marriage as an idea, or because it represents something to them, and not based on actual storytelling execution.”

No they don’t.

I’ve spent years interacting with such people and all of them can pull out multiple objective examples of where it was handled well and when you look at the grand scheme of things it was actually handled okay. Probelms arose but they were accompanied by problems in pretty much ALL areas of Spider-Man.

“ Sure there are always exceptions (the Sensational Spider-Man annual written by Matt Fraction being one of the best) but the examples above are far more damaging than any of the good.”

No they are not because the examples above are mostly nonsense and lies sprinkled with sexism.

“ At her best, she was a loving partner and friend to our main character. At her worst, she made Peter (and us) feel bad about him continuing to save lives as Spider-Man.”

One most lie for the road I guess.

#mjwatsonedit #mary jane watson #Mary Jane Watson Parker #Spider-Man #Peter Parker #Gwen Stacy #Stan Lee #j. michael straczynski

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arsonistslut · 4 years ago

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Chapter 23: Dark Waters

The mask slid tightly over Nina's face as Jethro handed her his dad's gun, the girl pulling her hoodie up to finish up her outfit, motioning for Jethro to follow her out to the nigh-empty beach. There was only a young couple out in the night, well past the beach's closing time.

"Hey!"

Nina shouted to the couple, aiming her gun at the two.

"This is a.."

She took a moment to look at the gun in her hand, before continuing.

"Smith And Wesson Model 29 chambered in 44. Magnum. It's the second most powerful handgun in the world, and if you do what I say, I might not blow your head off with it."

The two quickly complied, and Jethro took to tying the two down as Nina kept the gun trained on them.

"H-Hey, we don't want any trouble, alright? J-Just..take what you want."

The girl who was by her boyfriend's side blurted out.

"Oh, you already were in trouble from the moment we saw you."

Nina saw a third individual coming back from their car, and as they got close, approached them with her gun as Jethro unsheathed a knife, still staring down the young couple they'd been stalking. Without so much as a hint of hesitation, Nina then shot the poor guy who came back in the head, the blood and brain matter spraying all over her clothing and her mask not phasing her in the slightest. The couple they had screamed in horror, Jethro just shaking his head as Nina watched her victim collapse. He then grabbed their cars and listened closely, hearing the doors to their car unlock and the familiar beeping that came with it as he pressed the button to unlock them.

"W-What do you people want?!"

"Your blood. Up, both of you."

Nina led them to their own car and opened the door, Jethro shoving the two inside and went to go grab the gasoline, Nina still holding the two of them at gunpoint. When he got back, he doused the pair in gasoline, Nina's voice growing shaky with anticipation as she cocked back the hammer on the revolver.

"Go to Sleep."

A single gunshot ignited the gasoline, and Jethro couldn't bear to watch two people burn alive, so he went to go start up their van as Hopkins watched two innocent people burn to death in their own car. The van screeched to a halt beside her, so taking the fact that people will see the blood on her clothing into account, she climbed in the back of the van as Jethro set off toward the old Woods house.

"What a shame, Jeffrey..what a shame."

"Shut the fuck up, Zalgo!! I'm not in the mood for your bullshit."

"Jeff, you don't seem to understand something. Oborn, all the doctors here? They're just like Troy and Randy. They all hate you, deep down-"

"I SAID SHUT UP!! GOD, LET ME HAVE MY OWN THOUGHTS, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!"

"Christ has nothing to do with this story, pal. Here, I have a report from the nurse that visits you every day."

A paper slid up to Jeff, and he begrudgingly grabbed it and began to pore through it. It was a staff report from Sheila M. Spring, the nurse Zalgo mentioned earlier. A certain lines of text were highlighted with blood.

"I don't know why, but Jeffrey creeps me out to the tenth degree. He's nice to me, but there's just something..off-putting about him. Maybe it's the pale skin, or the fact that he's a mass murderer and should've been put to death, but I can't get that freak out of my head. He's impairing my work, so I politely request to be excluded from the list of people who have to take care of him."

Jeffrey just slowly shook his head as he read. He wasn't exactly surprised to read this, he was just disappointed. It had been over a year, people were more aware of his conditions, right?

"Along with that, Richard's isolated you from everyone, and does he expect it to help you in any way? No, he doesn't. He finds it funny, just like the rest of them. The fact that you've suffered for almost your whole life and killed people out of rage and desperation is funny to them. They'll tell you that they don't hate you for your ASPD, but they are lying. Just like Liu..just like Jane."

Chapter 24: Into the fire

A day passed, and the doctor in question was once again answering a call from his granddaughter.

"Hello, again!"

"Hi, unc! I forgot to ask, exactly when am I gonna see Jeff?"

"Ah, there have been some..developments, so you might not see him until next week. Apparently they're transferring him to a less strict institution today, they say it might heal his mind faster to have a less..synthetic environment."

The prospect of Jeff's mind healing was not what brought a smile to Nina's face. As she took a photo of a newspaper clipping detailing her horrific crimes last night, she continued:

"That's great! I sure as hell wouldn't be able to withstand something like that."

As she grabbed her mask and looked out at the pale moonlight, the fellow fanatics of Jeffrey Woods among her were in varied states of preparedness.

"OK, Jethro, you're driving, right?"

"I'm driving."

"Good..now, I need you all to confirm for me that you're willing to leave everything you know behind for this. Jeff Woods is who brought us all together, and he won't go punished for slipping into the violent nature that we, as humans, are naturally inclined to do! C'mon, you guys, we're freeing him."

Jethro successfully hotwired the old truck they had planned to use for this, the engine purring to life as under cover of darkness, he and Nina clambered inside the truck, the others climbing onto the back.

"Okay, floor it!"

The gate they rammed through to get out snapped open with ease as they sped down the street, the bus holding Jeff Woods idling at a red light. As the light turned green, the bus drove into the intersection, the truck smashing into it's side. The impact was enough to knock the driver unconscious as the inmates on board panicked, save for Jeff. He knew this would happen, just as Zalgo had said it would. He knew he would be dragged into a life of murder, regardless of what he did to try and avoid it. Jeff rose from his seat and made his way out before his fans could get inside, and seeing their reactions..the sort of awestruck happiness that they had in their eyes, it was something nobody could fake. Jeff smiled as one of them ran up to him and gave him a tight hug, something he quickly reciprocated.

"We, erm..got a hoodie for you as well, sir."

One of the cultists blurted out, presenting him with a white hoodie that he then wore over his white jumpsuit. The gang then made their way back to Jeffrey's old house before the police could arrive.

A figure sat upright in their shift bed, a day had passed since then and the news of Jeffrey's escape troubled the figure. They gazed into the burn scars on their face with the blade of their knife, the visions of what Jeffrey had done to the people they deeply cared for flashing before their eyes. Anger began to seep into the figure's mind as they dialed a number into their phone.

"Hello?" A gruff, southern tinged voice spoke through the phone.

"You think you've lost everything, Jeffrey? There is so much more I can take from you than you can imagine."

"Who the..Jane?!"

The caller hung up.

#creepypasta #jeffery woods #liu woods #jane the killer #sully #jeff the killer #homicidal liu #tw guns #tw swearing #tw demon manipulation #tw violence

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misscrawfords · 7 years ago

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Sparkling like granite?

So ITV is making a new adaptation of Pride and Prejudice which is going bring out its “darker tones”.

Here are my thoughts at considerable length (which nobody asked for) about this adaptation (which nobody asked for).

My initial response was mixed. On the one hand, I’m actually not averse to a new adaptation of P&P. Sure, it’s over-adapted and there are lots of novels which deserve a multi-part adaptation more than P&P. (Mansfield Park? The novels of Fanny Burney, Maria Edgeworth, Walter Scott?) However, P&P is one of the world’s most popular novels and there hasn’t been a straight TV adaptation of it in over 20 years. Adaptations of P&P often say as much about the time in which they are made as they do about the source material and a good adaptation, even if one doesn’t necessarily agree with the choices made, can make you see the book in a new light and provoke discussion. I’m not averse to that.

So there’s that response of muted interest. That warred with deep misgivings about the “darker tones” of Austen’s “adult” novel which is “much less bonnet-y” in an adaptation by someone who has apparently never watched an adaptation of the book, despite loving it. Really? Has she been living under a rock? P&P is so much part of popular culture that it seems impossible to adapt it in a way that does not pay homage consciously or subconsciously to previous adaptations. Can one avoid a “post-modern moment” as Lost in Austen so delightfully made explicit? I’m deeply sceptical. (Does one even want to? Intertextuality can add so much... but that’s a discussion for another day.) Anyway, back to the “darker tones”. My instinct is to say that this seems terribly wrong. Of all Austen novels, P&P is the most light-hearted, the most sparkling, the most comforting. Why oh why, would you want to mess with that? For goodness sake, let us have our romantic comedies and laugh out loud satire and implausible happy endings! Why must everything be marred with the brush of making things grim and dark and equating that grimness with gritty reality? Reality may be sometimes grim and dark but it is also sometimes hilarious and warm and full of love. Why must the former be prioritised? I have a massive problem with reinterpreting texts to “make them dark” as if that is a naturally good thing. But that’s probably also a discussion for another day.

So, mixed feelings. But naturally the purists are up in arms about this idea (and a part of me certainly wants to join them) and that makes me desperately inclined to take a second look and examine the possibilities of this adaptation and some of the potentially intriguing things the writer has said.

“Darker tones”

Okay, so firstly what does this mean? Does P&P even have darker tones? Surely you have to squint? Weeeeeell, yes and no. It’s a mistake to assume Austen never wrote about the nastier aspects of human nature and experience. The more obvious examples (leaving out Mansfield Park’s troubled potential references to the slave trade) are the fate of Colonel Brandon’s ward, Eliza; the decline of Mrs. Smith; the condition of the Prices in Portsmouth; the fate of Maria Rushworth; General Tilney’s treatment of his wife - and of course Wickham’s role in P&P. Just because Austen doesn’t write rape, seduction, abuse, death etc. explicitly on the page and just because her novels end (mostly) happily doesn’t mean she lives in a fantasy world untouched by these things.

Let’s look at Wickham. He attempted to seduce a vulnerable 15 year old girl who knew him and trusted him and used a woman in a position of authority to her to gain access to her. To use modern terminology, how long, one wonders, had he been grooming Georgiana? The elopement was prevented but only just. And while Darcy clearly thinks his sister’s reputation is intact (and her virtue), is it? Could Wickham have persuaded Georgiana to sleep with him before the elopement? I don’t personally think so - I think she would have somehow told Darcy if that had happened - but it is a possible and interesting idea, even if I don’t know where you would go with that except to show what an awful person Wickham is... which we know.

Wickham then successfully elopes with another 15 year old girl in a vulnerable position away from her family a year later - this is looking like a pattern of a rather unhealthy interest in underage girls (again to use modern theory, which is dangerous as an interpretation but sometimes useful). He’s the same age as Darcy after all - 28. Not an unheard of age gap in those days but still creepy considering the vulnerable positions of the girls in question. Lydia is ruined and by proxy, so are her sister’s chances. Wickham causes a LOT of problems by this one act. And all to get revenge on Darcy for refusing to give him money after he spent all his.

There is, moreover, the Meryton gossip: “He was declared to be in debt to every tradesman in the place, and his intrigues, all honoured with the title of seduction, had been extended into every tradesman’s family.”

Is this true? Has he been seducing (raping?) respectable girls in Meryton? Who knows! This is the wisdom of Mrs. Phillips after all. But they are talking about it openly in the text, there is rarely smoke without fire and it would hardly be out of character.

Is this sufficiently dark? It’s certainly not exactly a riotous comedy. Pride and Prejudice from the point of view of a Meryton tradesman’s daughter who loses her virtue and her father his money would be a very different novel. Georgiana’s history bears close examination. As with Eleanor Tilney’s story in Northanger Abbey, a real Gothic tale right under Catherine’s nose which she doesn’t even notice, there’s something pretty horrible going on in P&P if you care to look.

Perhaps this is what the writer Raine means by “actually a very adult book”.

What else could that refer to? (Because I give her sufficient credit to assume she’s not going to add in random pornographic scenes for the sake of it. Honestly.)

Jane Bennet. Jane is basically depressed for the duration of the novel. Elizabeth constantly worries over her low-spirits and concern for her affects her own happiness. In fact, Elizabeth herself is miserable for a lot of the novel. She goes on a journey of self-discovery but that comes at a cost. She is affected by Charlotte’s marriage, Jane’s disappointment, her own disappointment in Wickham, the effect of reading Darcy’s letter, Lydia’s elopement and finally realising she loves Darcy and will never have him. That’s a lot to throw at even the most resilient, good-humoured and optimistic person. Just because Lizzy loves to laugh doesn’t mean she is not unhappy in some way or other for a lot of the novel. For example:

After disappointment re Bingley and Wickham:

“Oh! if that is all, I have a very poor opinion of young men who live in Derbyshire; and their intimate friends who live in Hertfordshire are not much better. I am sick of them all. Thank Heaven! I am going to-morrow where I shall find a man who has not one agreeable quality, who has neither manner nor sense to recommend him. Stupid men are the only ones worth knowing, after all.”

“Take care, Lizzy; that speech savours strongly of disappointment.”

(I am always struck by the great bitterness in Elizabeth’s humour in that scene. It’s often overlooked IMO.)

After reading Darcy’s letter:

...it may be easily believed that the happy spirits which had seldom been depressed before, were now so much affected as to make it almost impossible for her to appear tolerably cheerful.

The only other use of the word “depressed” in the novel also applies to Elizabeth.

When Lydia has returned with Wickham:

Elizabeth could bear it no longer. She got up, and ran out of the room; and returned no more, till she heard them passing through the hall to the dining parlour.

You’ve got to be pretty much at the end of your tether to run out of the room at the age of 20 because you cannot bear to hear your sister talking any more.

Elizabeth is not happy. Jane is not happy. Mrs. Bennet is certainly not happy. Sure, it’s a comedy and Elizabeth has the delightful ability to laugh at herself and others and Jane tries very hard to overcome low spirits and always sees the best and Mrs. Bennet absolutely must be a caricature or else the humour is lost and everything becomes terribly heavy and not like the novel at all, but we feel triumphant with Elizabeth at the end precisely because she has actually suffered so much along the way in very human ways - romantic disappointment, losing a friend to a lifestyle choice she can’t understand, family troubles... These are not the things of epic but that doesn’t make them unimportant. The Lizzie Bennet Diaries conveys this aspect of the characters so well without losing the comedy. It is possible. Certainly I don’t think any other period adaptation has succeeded so well and I would love to see an adaptation that does. It’s not graphic sex, but I would describe this as in the realm of adult themes.

“Much less bonnet-y”

Okay, I don’t really know what this means. I suspect it’s a dig at the period dramas of the 1980s and 90s with beautiful aesthetics and no dirt and everyone speaking very properly. I thought we got the reaction to that overwith in the 00s and I really don’t want more sackcloths and pigs in the corridors, please. Ladies in that period wore bonnets. Get over it. This strikes me as the most provocative statement in all the things that were said, but it is also largely meaningless without more context. Productions like Poldark and Victoria have made an effort with costumes and sets so I don’t see why this would skimp on them. Will it be set in the 1790s this time with more of a rompish Georgian feel than a neo-classical Regency tone? Time only will tell!

"I hope I do justice to Austen’s dark intelligence – sparkling, yes, but sparkling like granite.”

Now this intrigues me! This is what makes me curious and also hopeful. Because Austen pulled no punches and had a very good understanding of dark impulses and the awful ridiculousness of human behaviour - and she absolutely skewered it.

In Paragon we met Mrs. Foley and Mrs. Dowdeswell with her yellow shawl airing out, and at the bottom of Kingsdown Hill we met a gentleman in a buggy, who, on minute examination, turned out to be Dr. Hall — and Dr. Hall in such very deep mourning that either his mother, his wife, or himself must be dead.

Mrs. B. and two young women were of the same party, except when Mrs. B. thought herself obliged to leave them to run round the room after her drunken husband. His avoidance, and her pursuit, with the probable intoxication of both, was an amusing scene.

I give you joy of our new nephew, and hope if he ever comes to be hanged it will not be till we are too old to care about it.

How horrible it is to have so many people killed! And what a blessing that one cares for none of them!

You get the point. All expressed in very nicely balanced phrases and a genteel tone and they are very amusing - but what sentiments! In short, I think Raine’s description of Austen’s wit and intelligence actually very apt. Similar things are found in P&P as in her letters. Consider Mr. Collins.

You ought certainly to forgive them, as a Christian, but never to admit them in your sight, or allow their names to be mentioned in your hearing.

Ouch.

“She had better have stayed at home,” cried Elizabeth; “perhaps she meant well, but, under such a misfortune as this, one cannot see too little of one’s neighbours. Assistance is impossible; condolence insufferable. Let them triumph over us at a distance, and be satisfied.”

A nice thing to say about your friends and neighbours...

Next to being married, a girl likes to be crossed a little in love now and then. It is something to think of, and it gives her a sort of distinction among her companions. When is your turn to come? You will hardly bear to be long outdone by Jane. Now is your time. Here are officers enough in Meryton to disappoint all the young ladies in the country. Let Wickham be your man. He is a pleasant fellow, and would jilt you creditably.”

“Thank you, sir, but a less agreeable man would satisfy me. We must not all expect Jane’s good fortune.”

“True,” said Mr. Bennet, “but it is a comfort to think that whatever of that kind may befall you, you have an affectionate mother who will make the most of it.”

Such kind parental support!

Mr. Bennet’s sarcasm, Mr. Collins’ pomposity which is eventually revealed as truly cold-hearted, Elizabeth’s biting and often undeserved satire, Mrs. Bennet’s foolishness - all of these are funny and the adaptation must make them funny. The dialogue must glitter and shine or you lose the absolute light-hearted sparkling joy of the novel and everything becomes heavy. But there’s an edge to the humour, there really is. And you treat like the stereotype of Sunday night bonnets and swoonable men jumping in lakes to romantic soundtracks at your peril.

You know what, I’m willing to give someone who describes Austen as “sparkling like granite” a shot. Love and Friendship for the first time presented an Austen adaptation that took absurdity, satire and caricature as its starting point in adapting Austen and I would love to see an adaptation of P&P that did the same, with all the greater subtlety that this novel requires over several hours, considering that it is a beautiful love story as well.

Will this adaptation deliver? Who knows? And there are a lot of things to be concerned about in this endeavor. But it might be really quite interesting.

tl;dr Austen is uncomfortable funny, she has a dark side, but they can’t make the adaptation dark and grim because that misses the point.

#Pride and Prejudice #Jane Austen #period drama

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