#nightdies

[bravevolunteer]

@nightdied asked: “what happened back there?” (fs verse) // addressing the elephant in the room

"NOTHING—" He responds, too quick and insistent for it to be anywhere near the truth, shoving his hands in his pockets as he sways back and forth, decidedly NOT looking Tommy in the eye. Michael isn't SUPPOSED to be causing anything, an unfortunate consequence of his role as a counselor that he didn't even want to do. Not that he cares much for the requirements of the job, but if he's sent back early he's only in for MORE trouble than he got himself into right before his father made him take this job ( as if he hadn't already made his disappointment clear enough ).

Besides, he didn't start shit this time— he just doesn't know if anyone is going to believe him.

"The Goodes aren't really my biggest fans." He tilts his head to where Will was now heading towards his cabin. "Don't think he's too happy I rank above him here." Maybe Michael had thrown an abrasive comment back— it's easy to fall into when everyone seems to look at him as if he's deplorable. "Look, I'm not gonna start shit here, okay? No need to 'reel me in' before I fuck something up and leave a mess for you to clean up, or whatever you're trying to do."

[cultbunny]

˗ˏˋ          ————        closed thread    !        [    @nightdied​    ]    .

she is... unfamiliar with him by face. but she knows his name. she knows of him. they came from the same place, the same back-alley game company in need of beta testers with no questions asked and way better pay than they should have been able to afford. he came just before her. but she doesn’t know if he’s come out with the same affliction as she.

“ tommy. ” this is vanessa talking, REALLY vanessa, fighting and trying and just a little scared. it’s been a while since the game went under, since she had a ghostglitch start piggybacking. a while since the recruiting started. a while since she started bleeding for a resurrection. days, weeks, months. ( she loses track of time so easily now, since she let him in. ) “ please. i know it’s hard. i know it’s weird. but i - i am going to understand. ” out comes her lithe hand, taking his, holding kindly, imploring. “ i PROMISE. you aren’t alone in this. ” but two’s a party, three’s a crowd. “ tell me why you left. ” she will NOT be alone in this anymore.

[pyreshe]

@nightdied - you don't have bad luck.

" do too! " she only sounds a little petulant in response to tommy's otherwise gentle assurance. she's holding onto one of his hands for balance as she walks along the top of a downed tree, heel to toe, one foot in front of the other. livvy had wanted to see if she could make it all the way across, but was slightly apprehensive about the prospect of falling; enter tommy. " i coulda gone to the science camp if june had just seen the letter sooner. that's unlucky! "

[cantfixyou]

i replay that moment every night in my head.

tragic aesthetic starters | always accepting ! | from @nightdied |  “  i replay that moment every night in my head. ”

a long silence settles over both of them after her says it. the words just FEEL heavy, like he’d been carrying them around for months, years maybe, she didn’t know. and here, now, with her sitting next to him, as they’re looking out at the lake, he just has to drop them. they’re too much. he’s too tired. her therapist taught her something, about grief and guilt. that it CANNOT be carried alone. you have to pick someone, real or not, to help carry that with you. and tommy has seemed to pick charlie. and now charlie has the choice - carry it along, or leave it between them. she, of course, has her own set of traumas and pains and problems. a lot of them probably run parallel to his. ghosts and nightmares, sleep paralysis and nosebleeds, being literally possessed. it’s been a rough five years, everything from the way she walks to the ragged scars of bite marks on her shoulder right down to the way she smiles affected. she is a FINAL GIRL by all accounts, all the movies and books say so, chosen to carry this mantle and all that it comes with. this strength is not from hard work, dedication, perseverance. it did not bloom out of love, happiness, or companionship. the strength she has to hold her own is strictly out of SPITE and HATE and REVENGE and HEARTBREAK. she knows tommy doesn’t have that in him. he probably doesn’t have a mean bone in his body.

with all of her empathy, all of her softness, all of it DESPITE DESPITE DESPITE, she looks away from the rippling darkness, and asks, “ you wanna tell me about it ? ” SHE WILL CARRY THIS TOO.

[h-a-unted]

❛ you fell. but i've got you. ❜ ( @nightdied for emma?) ・・・・・・✼・・・・・・ the boy, the mole, the fox and the horse (Accepting!)

"I fell? To the lake... or something?" She asks, her voice a little shaky and zoned out the moment she opens her eyes, glancing from side to side. Did he take her back to camp? Thomas was there with her and thank goodness for that, but how long had it been and how much did he do to help her?

"How did you... manage to help me out? I can barely remember what happened."

[cheersnap]

WHAT IS HOLDING YOU BACK?

THE INABILITY TO RELY ON OTHERS WITHOUT FEELING LIKE A BURDEN.     you're spending way too much time  trying to find an explanation for everything you do and think, aren't you? you feel like all of the answers have to come from inside of you,  since that's the role you've grown into. from the outside, people think you have it together. they see your open arms as invitation, and therefore keep leaning on you. 

at first, it was okay, since you wanted  to help. but slowly, you're being dragged further and further down. you need help, too. but you're supposed to be there for everyone else.  you're the one they go to when they're struggling. 

you've put everyone  else first, and now you feel like you can't allow others to know that  you need help. please, stop telling yourself you're fine. deep down, you  know you aren't. things don't have to be this way. you can let those people in. if anything, they will be grateful that you reached out. can you imagine how nice it'd feel to take a break from dealing with this all on your own?  

tagged by: nope tagging: @behttys, @nancewheelr, @tragicsongs / @horrorsuntold / @nightdied, @amantesmultorum, @wrappedupinlight, @prettybrawler, @mysticwrit and you !

[valorems]

muse's life experiences.

Killed Someone Under Orders | Had Someone Killed On Their Orders | Killed Someone In Self Defense | Spared Someone’s Life | Invented Something  | Been Hungover | Kissed Someone | Slow-Danced | Been In A Long-Term Relationship | Had Sex | Had Sex And Regretted It | Had A One-Night Stand | Had A Threesome | Experimented With Their Sexuality | Had A Kid | Adopted A Kid | Wanted To Have A Family With Someone | Done Something On Impulse They Regretted | Gone Traveling | Had A Bounty Put On Them | Eaten An Insect | Been Groped By A Stranger | Been Groped By Someone They Know | Been Dumped | Dumped Someone | Smoked | Gotten High | Flirted With Someone To Get Free Drinks | Put Someone In A Headlock | Won A Bet | Lost A Bet | Forgiven Someone Who Wronged Them | Indulged In Petty Revenge | Hallucinated | Has A Noticeable Physical Defect | Gotten A Noticeable Scar | Been Permanently Disfigured Through Injury | Kneed Someone In The Groin | Had An Unattainable Crush | Laughed Themselves To The Point Of Tears | Been Kidnapped | Been Brainwashed/Hypnotised | Had A Recurring Nightmare | Been Bullied | Bullied Someone ( if they deserve it ) | Experienced Survivor’s Guilt | Been Tied/Chained Up | Given Someone A Massage | Received A Massage | Been Backed Up Against A Wall | Shot Someone | Stabbed Someone | Saved Someone’s Life | Cheated On Someone | Been Cheated On | Been In An Open Relationship | Had A Friendship With Benefits | Been In A Queerplatonic Relationship | Had A Stalker | Been Betrayed | Been A Traitor | Been Possessed | Been In A Bar Fight | Been Thrown Out Of A Bar | Been Arrested | Broken Out Of Jail | Been To A Funeral | Been To A Brothel | Had Surgery | Broken Someone’s Trust | Broken Someone’s Heart | Had Their Heart Broken | Broken/Damaged Something Out Of Anger | Broken/Damaged Something Out Of Spite | Gotten A Piercing | Gotten A Tattoo | Used A Fake Name | Been Beaten Up | Been Tortured/Tortured Others | Been Abused | Been Blackmailed | Gotten Away With A Crime | Framed Someone Else For A Crime They Committed | Shared A Bed Platonically | Been In Love | Suffered From Sleep Paralysis | Been Forced To Flee Their Home | Learned A New Language | Joined A Rebellion | Fought On The Losing Side Of A War | Fought On The Winning Side Of A War | Become A Godparent | Become An Aunt/Uncle

tagged by: @maraonlaidre

tagging: @curaetive @nightdied @forthewinn @geneticiism

[alchemisland]

Cockrow Prayer

Mouthing orisons

Opining nightdying

Over spinesmountains

Fountaining light

Larks alighting

Hares afrighting

Chivalric shadow of rider riding.

#poem #poemoftheday #poetry #poetrycommunity

[cultbunny]

@nightdied​ i was Truly Inspired by your tags on your most recent reply to our thread ALKSJDFGHFDKS

[offier]

@camptw1nk: i've never been wanted. not really. not by anyone.

continued from nightdied

some part of him struggles to actually understand how a sunnyvaler could possibly have problems. the rest of him feels guilty for ever thinking that. of course they had problems, they were still people. as much as most of sunnyvale tried to act like they were above shadyside, tommy knew that didn't actually mean anything.

besides, he's aware of the feeling. the closest tommy's felt to feeling wanted is feeling needed, and it's been that way ever since joey was born. it's a feeling tommy's well aware of, and he wouldn't wish that on anyone.

"well, if nothing else, i want you here." which maybe isn't the same, but it's the best he can offer. he doesn't actually know kurt that well, after all. "and I think other people should want that, too."

[cantfixyou]

‘ i wondered if that’s what they felt , just numb and nothing and alone . ’

the haunting of hill house prompts | always accepting ! | from @nightdied | ‘ i wondered if that’s what they felt, just numb and nothing and alone . ’

something tugs, and tugs HARD, at her insides. because the comment sounds like something she would’ve said five years ago, when this all began for her. all this loss, all this pain, all this blood, all this wasted potential, laid out in front of the two of them now. it’s spread wide and takes up the entire tabletop, printed on papers as copies of articles and handwritten journal entries from both charlie and mark over the years. two different paths crossing and converging, they can’t let one another go, the friendship runs too deep for that. and now - TOMMY. another path to cross over her’s, another life ruined by the afton legacy. someone else she has to help find freedom. and though he has so much new information, talking about glitches and ghosts and nightmares, the only reasonable thing, to her, was to give him the backstory. he was a little too forward in time, she was a little too caught up in the past.

she comes around that big table, not reaching out, not wanting to break any boundaries, but offering at least this bit of companionship. “ try... try not to think about that, okay ? ” it’s not exactly comforting, but it is empathetic. she GETS IT. “ you can’t. or it’ll drive you crazy. ” she looks from him to the papers, to what’s directly in his line of sight. the first six children, side-by-side in one large spread, all smiling their doughy, baby smiles, captioned with each of their names, none of them above the age of twelve. under them, the original missing child - CHARLOTTE CARLISLE in hard, black letters. she feels a little stomach sick. she tries to speak it away. “ just think about saving them. ” that’s what SHE does. “ giving them the rest they deserve. like... tucking them into bed after a long day. ” the softest analogy she can think of when pertaining to children. she hopes he takes the sentiment to heart.

[h-a-unted]

❛ nothing beats kindness. it sits quietly beyond all things. ❜ ( @nightdied for emma?) ・・・・・・✼・・・・・・ the boy, the mole, the fox and the horse (Accepting!)

Kindness, really? She thought about it herself before. Maybe, kindness could help her out in life, help her make her parents notice her or even have genuine friends. It never worked out, or so it seemed to her. That's why she chose to act upon other feelings, kindness looming in the back, just as he had said. Maybe, even though it wasn't on the forefront, it was still there. But was it truly unbeatable?

"I never thought of it that way, but..." Hands on her hips, she gives a spin to turn back to Thomas, inquisitive in her expression. "Has it worked out for you? Doesn't it feel like people step on the kindest ones or something? Better to go with the flow than think of the supposed unbeatable kindness."

[cheersnap]

𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐃𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐃?

GENTLY. you need to be held as though you're going to break. you need someone to trace your scars like cracks in a wall, crumbling. their touch is almost painful; you've been without it for too long, without someone to hold you. but, you cannot bring yourself to pull away.

tagged by: @reignedchime <3 tagging: @nancewheelr, @alwaysrevvedup, @prettybrawler, @gareththegreat, @tragicsongs / @nightdied, @wrappedupinlight, @amantesmultorum and you !