#new fic means new shitposts so yeah sorry

[presiding]

dishonored: the knife of dunwall (2013)

& new chapter of swan song up in which daud has completed the mission of a lifetime and is also maybe feeling not so good

[sameschmidtdiffname]

Oh my god?????

Okay... WOW!! This is amazing!!!

First off, as always, thank you for your amazing support!!! I know I say it so much, but I truly, deeply mean it. I'm only a few followers away from 300 followers, which is?? Insane?? The last time I was on Tumblr I thought I had a good following with 100, which I did! I mean, that's good to me lol. But that was over the course of like, a year? Maybe two? I've been posing here for like a month, so wtf (but GOOD wtf, GREAT wtf!!!) I'm not really sure what I want to do to celebrate that, but there'll probably be something. Like a fun ask game once we actually hit that milestone!

So, the true point of this post besides thank you for your support, is a few different things.

First off,

I am not closing requests. However, I have... 19 requests now... and I don't think I'd be that intimidated, except some of these stand the possibility of being written as at least a mini series, so it's more like I'm looking at 30+ guaranteed works if I factor in multiple parts to those requests.

That being said, I am now going to say from here on out

If you submit a request, I most likely will not answer you for one month from the time you submit.

Which is insane, I'm aware. But first off, I do work lol. Second off, there's a lot!! I've gotta at least get 19 works out before I can respond to new requests, so pray for me. And as I've said before in the past, I do not respond to requests until your work is ready. So do not expect a response until I've written it.

Second off,

for the next two weeks I am going on a writing break! I have a current IRL project that is now demanding my full time attention, and I also do not want to burn myself out on writing while wrapping up said IRL project. I'll still be on Tumblr probably, but it will probably mostly be responding to regular asks/shitposting/Hunger Games headcanons (I'm also so sorry to all of my moots whose amazing works I have not been reblogging. I do not have the energy for actual reading with everything going on, but I see you and I love you and i have a list of fics I plan on reading when I finally get energy 💗 I've felt so bad, you don't understand)

Third,

what's my posting schedule gonna look like after my break?

Well, I'm setting a low at minimum goal that I'm going to be posting one standalone fic and one part for at least one series every week. Once I get more time, it'll probably be more like three works per week, but that's for the future when I can breathe since I write better on days off/weekends instead of doing bits and pieces every work day. (Rememeber when I used to post like five works a week? Yeah. That was fun! Miss that!)

Overall, TL;DR

• Thank you for your support!

• Requests are going to take at minimum a month to respond to from this point out.

• I'm going on a small writing break, but afterwards I should be posting works hopefully twice a week.

I hope you all have an amazing day, week, year. I love you all. Please stay safe, and I'll see you next time for America's favorite new gameshow, "I Posted 'Princess' as a Lark and Honesty Expected 17 Notes, Period. How The Fuck Did I Get Here????"

[fantomette22]

heyyyy! Tell us about your version of the cainhurst king. maybe even how things go between him and annalise! I hope you don't mind me asking

Anon are you kidding? I am super happy you asked, thank you!

It's true I tried to avoid talking about him to not spoil my fic project but I slip every time so screw it, let's go (Plus it's not like Annalise is going to become Queen and him King in the fic I am currently writing so better talk about them now because it's uncertain if I will manage to ever write about it 🙄)

Also, omg are you asking this because of my shitpost drawing? Oops XD this is really the dumbest thing…

Ok so I inspired myself a lot from the version my good friend created X and X. I really like it so I create a similar yet quite different version. (I mean they just look the same and have a few characteristics in common but that's it really)

So yeah, I think this guy right here is the king during Annalise's reign.

I named him Charles. It was supposed to be a place holder name at first, when I was doing some story planning but I stick with it XD Typical old French name many kings had that's why I called him like this. + for the older design I used the dear cut content (because yes, we probably should have fight him instead of Logarius at first.

So for this ask I drew some designs! : (As a Byrgenwerth student and as king, younger and older)

In my story I also have Annalise's father, the precedent king consort appearing. I draw him as well for the occasion.

(ok he might look a bit older and tired compared to the chap5 of my fic so let's say it's a flash forwards of a few years later, a few months before he died of cancer. I'm sorry that sound really bad 😭 poor Richard…)

Ok so Charles, he's from a smaller noble family (the one from where the executioners gloves came from) they doesn't live at Cainhurst since a few years but he passed a few years from his childhood here. As such he's a childhood friend of Maria, Annalise and all the lil squad of Cainhurst OCs. Maria & him are closer in age (he's 1 year older than her and 2 years younger than Annalise) so they passed a lot of time together and were both really turbulent and unhinged children XD like you can see here. All the things TO NOT do, you can be sure they tried it out 🤣

Then well he went to live a bit far with his family and only went to Cainhurst to important event/ meetings/holidays etc…

Years later he become a student at Byrgenwerth and check notes began a cursus in history or smt? Antic history of the pthumerians civilization and afterwards or something like this. Maria joined Byrgenwerth one year later too! Some other events happened and it allow him to reconnect with Cainhurst a lot.

Ok so when I say he's a lil bastard it's affectionally and for real too <3 he's really similar yet different from Laurence for exemple idk how to explain. You know the popular type of guy who don't listen well in class and party a lot but still pass all his classes… (besides tell him to shut it in class Laurence can say much he was the same XD ok maybe Charles is more of a clown class and had more friends but still).

But even if he can stand the mean noble girls (&boys) contrary to Maria, he still passed times with her when he could and even hang out with the Byrgenwerth squad as well.

Also my friend think he might got a scare on the forehead (see painting) and I agree with this that's why he got one. How he got it you ask? Oh well… cough cough the infamous prom night! Not telling too much for now. Can't wait to write about it

So, in parallel concerning Cainhurst: It wasn't doing great and was loosing lots of influence sand after some tragic events happened "the knight cough & beast story cough cough" he speaks with the king, Annalise, lots of people besides Maria and began slowly to have a new objective in mind. + when Maria takes distance from Cainhurst so he actually grow closer to them at her place (well they were kinda missing a few royal guards so like they took what they could)

He could do a few things in battle but clearly didn't have the lvl of a royal guard or a strong warrior so he needed to learn and that wasn't always easy.

Flash forwards a few years later after he graduated but still hanged out at Byrgenwerth. Guess what the bastard did? ^^

Yeah, he's the scholar who stole the forbidden blood.

So yeah, THIS GUY! Damn. Well, it's actually kind of complicated because Byrgenwerth should have make a report to Cainhurst/ give it to them but they didn't so… Still Maria wanted to kick his ass XD (seriously he used her to know where it was and he leaved with everyone from Cainhurst except her. I mean he couldn't tell her but she almost got in big troubles) 

"No Maria you can't go to his face and insult him in front of everyone…"

"Why not?" "… ok so he might actually become our next king consort and I hate it." "WHAT?!" (she still scolds him XD)

Yeah, when they asked him what he wanted for his service besides being a full-time resident at Cainhurst bro said, "Your hand my Queen" "bud that's not gonna work-" "Ok sure" O_O

Turn out, he planned the whole thing (stealing the blood) with Annalise 🤣

Yeah they did grow closer this past few years and everyone is on Annalise back to get a consort so…. (Also of course he's a simp. Who isn't at Cainhurst lol. He's not jealous btw because he know he will always be simp n°1 XD). So yeah somehow that's a big ship I have and I NEED CONTENT 😭 (Fantomette do it yourself! there is literally only 2-3 people to want that! You don't understand I just wanna read fics made by someone else on them! I can't write that!!)

But well, many nobles aren't that impressed so they ask him to do other stuff before. Like going into the chalice dungeons and recover some stuff. Funniest shit ever when he argues with Vledemyr all the time, or even Logarius and Gehrman just want to take all their heads and bonk them together XD yeah funny times.

 Also most of all the statues at Cainhurst are because of him and he managed to bring back the crown of Illusions in the end! He almost died too but shhh (Annalise still scold him for it. The crown was lost in there since quite sometimes so Cainhurst only had one and it lost its power. + maybe a ring 🤔).

In the meantime, well Annalise absorb the forbidden blood and kinda become "immortal" (I headcanon that it prolongs the life a lot, you don't age normally etc and you heal if you get hurt. Explain how she can cut her arms and have no marks after a few minutes. The bigger the injuries the longer it takes to regenerate. Like if she were to "die" her body wouldn't get cold but stayed warms and she would wake up after a few hours/days or more etc what we used in the game really make it go faster).

Then he finally marries Annalise and become King!  And the Vilebloods are formed wow and they try to make Cainhurst great again etc. 

But yeah, it's not over. There is one small problem that happen a few years after… (besides the beast scourge of Yharnam and the church + Byrgenwerth being less or more ok with their practices). Annalise have a lot of difficulty to have a child (not that it's super urgent but it's still a problem).

You can be sure they both tried their best but it doesn't work. Either it's hard for her to get pregnant and when she does she have miscarriage after miscarriage. Most of the time it happened in the first couple of months but one time it happened almost at term or around 6-7 months perhaps? That was so bad that if Annalise wasn't "undead/immortal" she would have died. That was really a bad time for everyone. Even poor Maria was left a bit traumatized by the experience… (yes she came to help of course and that was before the hamlet I think) And Charles really was at the lowest in his life (not the only one too) he blamed himself because he thought that those problems could have been link with the forbidden blood (yes but not really).

So, in the end they managed to find something about an old ritual the pthumerians used, to get "powerful and special children" the child of blood. And with the discovery of the blood dregs, they become to participate even more intensely to the hunt…. and because of this and other events they ended up becoming the enemy of the church…

When the executioners went to kill the Vilebloods, Charles fight till his last breath to protect his Queen, Annalise, his future not born yet child of blood and his subjects. He killed lots of the executioners but they were too many and Logarius was there and stronger than before…

----

Ok that's it for the over whole story. Now, he's kind of egoist with lot of pride and "I am better than everyone" type of guy but he still have moment where he showed real concerned for people he cared about + he grow wiser with age. Still, he wouldn't have problem to kill/ execute someone who's accuse of crimes against Cainhurst. He would do that without a second thought. Unlike someone else cough cough. 

And yeah when Maria was a teenager and wasn't feeling well at all she passed a summer with him and his family and he did helped her feel better, likewise with some bad stuff that happened at Cainhurst during her Byrgenwerth years. He was there to support Annalise during harsh times and when she became Queen too. And was the emotional pillar and protector to her after he became her husband and king. Even if they encourage each other to grow worst and go on a really dark path… 

He tried to not show a too much "soft side" to anyone (except a few persons person like his dear Queen). He did crack emotionally a couple of time and even if he really tried to hide it, Annalise generally end up knowing and recomfort him. They are each other biggest support after all.

But hey he did become good friends with Vledemyr! (Anna & Maria cousin, royal guard etc) when at first it was really complicated XD And his relationship with lil Voron (bloody crow when he was a baby/child) is really cute too <3

Ok last thing I headcanon that Logarius sword his originally the Charles wield.

So I think it's good for now. Hope that answers the question 😅

[chryblossomjjk]

Hi kiki😊 I just wanted to say that I love your blog so much and I'm new so yay! I hate that you get hate and mean asks/comments, you really don't deserve it and seem like a super sweet person! 💜 You are very talented and I love your fics. Please don't let the hate get to you! You have lots of people who love you and your blog and are here for you! Take care of yourself 💜💜😊 English isn't my first language so im sorry in case I messed up on anything

hi friend! you never ever have to apologize about english not being your first language >:( 💗 but thank you! i do have a lot of support on here that im grateful for! also welcome to the blog, v happy to have u love !!!

i try to remember that all of the mean comments i get are about the most minuscule things ever and they always have the same or similar typography (it’s giving v much one person alexa play obsessed by mariah carey lmao). sometimes being on here can be super overwhelming and frustrating. like im not perfect obvi but i do try to be kind to everyone i interact with on here. it’s been getting harder as of late lol, as there are people who just don’t like me and try to find whatever they can cling onto to hate me over like… all this bc i delete my incoherent shitposts at the end of the day lmao?? like i didnt do a single thing to yall!!! and it’s not only weird anons it’s like someone waiting to report and flag every single one of my fics as soon as their posted. just super strange and unnecessary bc i literally don’t even know why like i haven’t done anything to these people aishgsidbsmdn-

but yeah!! should probably just stop responding to em as it’s taking me out of character n messing w my perception of myself. i do ignore most but it’s v hard to ignore all the time when they actively seek out my blog and obsess over me like im min yoongi or smth lol like i promise there are much cooler ppl to follow with a red thread and pics pinned to a board than me lmao 🤨🤨🤨

yeah again, thank you for the sweet anon!! and thank you so much for reading my fics!! like at the end of the day all i want to do on here is share my dumb lil stories and interact with others who are in the same fandom!! going to be limiting my time on here for the time being, and hopefully that’ll allow me to finish my next fic bc i am PROCRASTINATING WISHSHMEJDJ!! anyways, thank you for being here. i appreciate you a lot, and everyone else on here who makes this space healthy 💗

[quetzalpapalotl]

hi im new to the transformers fandom. i watched half of season 1 of tfa and all of earthspark and Thats It. do u think im qualified to read eugenesis??? or unqualified? or whatever will be more fun?

I mean, I can't tell you whether you're qualified or not to read a fanfic, but I can give you some context so you can decide if you want to:

Eugenesis is a fanfic written by James Roberts (JRo) who would later go to write the fan-favorite comic More Than Meets the Eye in 2012, which is set in the IDW1/IDW 2005 continuity (more info on that here).

Eugenesis was published in 2001 (being a remix of an earlier, incomplete fanfic also by Roberts) when JRo was part of Transmasters UK (TMUK). A group of fans that would distribute zines, organize cons and collectively write their own fanfic continuity based on the Marvel UK comics (the UK version being different from the US version of the comics, more info on that here)

So, ideally, to read Eugenesis with full context, one would need to have read Marvel UK and the previous TMUK stories. You can find the first online, but a great part of the later has been lost to time. @polyhexian is currently working on an archive of TMUK stuff. Luckily, you can make do without any of these (like I did at the time), because Eugenesis comes with a helpful continuity notes guide whihc you can download here, along with the main text.

I would greatly advice to anyone to read that first, even if you have read Marvel UK, because it also covers TMUK stuff. Eugenesis is still going to be a tad confusing at times, but it'll make things so much easier to understand.

As for my personal recommendation, is Eugenesis good? Is it bad? Well, it is an experience, for sure, I'm obsessed with it. I adore how depressing it is, how it has some of the most touching lines I've read followed by the weirdest description choices and oh boy, does the prose drag at times. It's an amateur work in a way that makes it very raw and I love it, it truly is born out of love.

It has value as a piece of fandom history and as a fan of Robert's later work in Transformers. A lot of concepts that JRo introduces in his comics first appear here, and it's interesting to see his influences and the way his prose has evolved.

Now, this is very important, the way the fandom talks about Eugenesis it's as something very silly, JRo writing a fic for his mechpreg kink. And yeah, I also do that because a lot of the stuff in this is premium material for shitposting. But this is NOT something that's worth reading just for the lolz.

Eugenesis is a very depressing read with a lot of potentially triggering material. Including lots of robot body horror and death, some detailed, some just mentioned in passing. Also suicide, suicidal ideation and suicide attempts. One part goes into detail about a character's mental state before taking their own life, including allucinations, but no one here is ina good mental place. There are also death camps, with torture depersonalization and detailed inhumane treatment. This is holocaust with robots. One chapter is literally titled "The Anti Holocaust". It does throw you bones at the end, but at it's core is a book about futility.

Depending on what you can stomatch, it may not actually be that bad, some even wish it was worse. But I don't know you, so I want to give you a fair warning, and I repeat, it is not worth reading just for a laugh.

Sorry for all that infodump. You may do whatever you want with this information. I hope it helps and feel free to ask any more questions!

[mrpenguinpants]

Childe: First Kiss HCs

I tend to make things gender neutral by not putting in pronouns and just using “you” but you can definitely read this as female^^ But I completely agree, I love this boy so much. He’s my favourite character to play (im so sorry razor) until Xiao comes out. I literally have a genshin team named “waiting for xiao” and it’s just Childe and Zhongli haha. 

---

Today’s appreciation post goes to childes-starconch. Fitting that this is a Childe fic but ty for your support^^ I always notice you pop up as soon as I post a fic and I really enjoy seeing you. Hopefully you read this since tumblr won’t let me tag people, for whatever reason I don’t know anymore, but just saying hey, I see you 💕💕

---

I’m just gonna piggy back off my last Childe fic. I’m sorry. 

Semi Part 1:  Fiance HCs [honestly, one of my favourites haha] 

Xiao Ver:  First Kiss HCs

Venti & Kaeya: Mistletoe HCs

Venti, Xingqiu, and Razor: Kissing HCs

[Masterlist]

---

[taglist]  <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@hanniejji​  @mikeysbike​ @unionwitch​ @musekala​ @twistedsunnshiii​ @stanzastic​ @akaasea​ @xoneaboveallx​ @adoring-ghost​ @asheseiler​ @childelover​@youaskedfurret​ @snowy224 

@youaskedfurret​ @diaxfeliz​ @wintergreen-aix​ @dandelily​ @thegayrubberducky​ @lovelykittycatmeow​ @yuunoagivesmelife​  @dokidokisama @simpygrimoire @minakohasmanyhusbandos​ @strwbrry-lia    @tigerpriestess 

For some reason I can’t @ certain people. I’m talking to tumblr about it. 

---

Childe: First Kiss HCs

Childe was never one to shy away from affection, be it holding your hand in his or wrapping an arm around you, he was always happy to be close to you. He was always a bit territorial which lead to some embarrassing situations for you but it was from a good place in his heart. But when it came to public kisses, he preferred to keep it between you two. It felt too private of a moment that he didn’t want to broadcast to the rest of the Fatui, especially to the other Harbingers. That is to say, if he actually kissed you in the first place. For all the two braincells Childe had, one was fighting and the other was protecting his loved ones, just imagining kissing you was too much for him and he needed to go find some poor recruit and beat his inner problems out. The Fatui recruitment process would always dwindled down during his inner turmoil sessions that Scaramouche himself, had to throw his goddamn hat at Tartaglia, and yell at him to hurry up and fix his problem. It was clogging up the air. 

When he tried to think about it, it shouldn’t be this hard to simply lean in for a kiss. But it was his first and while Childe might run into whatever danger or prospect of a fight without a second thought, he didn’t want to ruin it. What if he accidently bonked his forehead with yours? He should remove his mask then right? Just in case? He’s only given forehead and cheek kisses to his younger siblings so it should be the same right? Yeah he could do this, this was just another battle for Tartaglia to conquer! 

But whenever he would see you or you would both sit and bask in each other’s presences. He couldn’t bring himself to initiate something or heck, even looking at your face made him a bit hot under the collar in sub-zero temperatures. He can almost hear Scaramouche and Signora laughing maniacally at him behind their hands. He’s the youngest of the Harbingers, he should get a “get out of jail for free” card that all youngest children have whenever they get into trouble. But in this case it’s murder. He quickly slaps his cheeks to get his mind off fighting for one second which startles you beside him. 

The first time you’ve seen Childe shy was when he first confessed to you, stuttering that he liked you and just really badly wanted to hold your hand without using the frost of Sneznaya as an excuse. You flushed pink but nodded that you returned his feeling and slipped your hand in his. Whatever shyness Childe had was quickly wiped off his face and he cheered and brought you in for an eskimo kiss. Rubbing your nose with his as he laughed in joy, the tips of his ears and cheeks still coloured pink. You always hold that memory dear to your heart because not only was it the start of your relationship, it was the first time you felt you were staring at Ajax. Not Childe. Not Tartaglia. Just Ajax. 

But now, you’re not to sure what to call this. Lately he seemed to be out of it, always staring off into space or frowning at some poor poor snowmen that did not deserve that much pressure.  Was being a harbinger starting to take it’s toll on him? Did something terrible happen to his family or was the Tsaritsa being too hard on him? You were beginning to get concerned because you’ve never seen this much mental turmoil in him. This never really happened before and he usually bounced back pretty fast. Would it be better if you left him be and he sorted it out himself? Would it be better if you asked? 

Childe is startled out of his thoughts of possible committed murder because he’s too scared to ask his own partner if kissing was something they could do, when he felt your hand slowly nudge his. No matter how many times he holds your hand, you’re always warm. It could be snow storming outside and the only heater he would need would be you. He offers a small but warm smile as he laces his fingers with yours. He remembers when you first started going out he was so scared about boundaries and what was okay. Brushing your fingers together and overall, not doing a good job at saying he wanted to hold hands that even he cringes slightly at his younger self - even though it wasn’t that long ago and he’s doing it again just with kisses - but now he borderline clings to you like some overgrown animal. Scaramouche’s words, not his. 

It’s still evening in Snezhnaya and the Tsaritsa herself seems to be taking a vacation because there’s only a light snow falling down between the two of you. You’re both sitting outside his house while his family is inside, warm and having fun playing games. He breathes in, closes his eyes, and let’s the world fade away just a second. He slowly brings his other hand to cup your cheek, his hands are always numb and the tiny pin pricks are dancing on his fingers again before they fade away too, and guides you towards him so he can place a small kiss on your fore head. Then tilts your face to the side so he can kiss your cheek. Brings his nose near yours to nuzzle against. Then hesitates when his lips hover above yours. 

“Ajax is there something bothering you?” you ask softly, you’re so close to each other that all you can see is him. The small puffs of breathe you both take bounce off each other’s face before evaporating into the air. You never really took the time to appreciate Ajax’s bright blue eyes. His pupil from this distance seems to be slitted too. 

“Hm? Ah no, of course not. Where did you get that idea?” he tries to laugh it off and tries to move back before you quickly bring your hand to the back of his head and nudge him forward so he stays in place. It wasn’t like him to run away from something, it was really starting to bother you what could get Ajax of all people to retreat from something. 

“You know if there’s anything that’s bothering you, you can talk to me right?” you asked as you brought both your hands to cup his face as you softly rubbed circles just under his ear. He closed his eyes and hmmed happily at your actions and nuzzled further into your hand before turning his head inward to kiss your palm. Before relaxing and parting his eyelids half way as he seemed to be back in concentration mode. Before awkwardly saying what was troubling him these past few days. 

“So wait, you mean to tell me that this entire time I was worried about you. How out of it you were and how many fights you’ve been getting into. Was because you wanted a kiss?” you asked dumfounded as he pouted but nodded. You sighed but bonked your foreheads together softly, “You’re such an idiot....C’mere.” 

“Wha-” 

You grab the scarf on his harbinger uniform and tug him forward as your lips slot over his. You kiss him hard and for a few seconds as Ajax just stares at you as his brain tries to catch up, before his eyes seem to dilate and he kisses you back just as hard. All his past worries are quickly thrown out the window as slowly pushes you on your back, cushioned by the soft snow, as he basks in the feeling. It’s a bit sloppy given this is both your first kisses but that’s what adds to the charm. You both have to separate at some point for oxygen but Childe looks like he’s ready to dive in again. 

“One more,” he pants as he goes in for another but you quickly place your hand in the way so he ends up kissing your palm. He whines but you chuckle at him, place a small kiss on the back of your palm of where his lips would be, and push him off you. You’re both still outside his families home and you aren’t in the mood to be caught in this kind of position. Especially not in front of his younger siblings. He rests his cheek on your shoulder and looks at you, trying to make his eyes bigger and look like a kicked puppy. You sigh as you give a small pet on his head, running your fingers through your hair. What a troublesome partner you’ve gotten. 

“Alright, one more.” 

---

My entire taglist was just made for the  “Enemies” to “Lovers” post and I still haven’t started hehe. Trust me, it’s coming. I’ve got requests for it and we’re slowly getting there. The entire time I’m writing this I’m just thinking “honey..no, that’s not how this works.” God you’re so dumb. I hate you. You’re my favourite character. Pour one out for Xiao, I was going to make this a crack fic too but ended up making it somewhat serious. 

So yeah, xiao is a cat and childe is a fox. In other news, water is wet. But I did actually google fox behaviors just for this shitpost. ALRIGHT TIME TO SPIN THE WHEEL OF “WILL TUMBLR BE NICE TO ME?” OR DO I NEED TO DOUBLE REPOST AGAIN. 

[foone]

Unbreathing Vacuum

I got an ADHD inspiration to write a short DS9 fic off a shitpost about Star Trek-but-all-the-computers-run-windows-98, so I wrote a thing about Odo and the crew's reaction to his seeming death. (This was written for twitter, so it's gonna have some weird paragraph breaks, sorry about that)

Odo is tracking down a Bolian weapons dealer with as many morals as hair follicles when he finally corners him in a cargo bay. It goes south, quickly, as it turns out weapons dealers have access to a lot of weapons.

His Bajoran security officer is laying down suppressing fire as Odo sneaks around behind the Bolian who is trying out a wide variety of strange weapons, colored beams shooting across the room like we're in a deadly disco of death.

Odo reforms into a grumpy humanoid behind the blue man group reject, shedding his Andorian Ice Fox form that let him cross the sea of crates without detection. Odo grumbles "I think that's enough, don't you?" as the Bolian turns and screams.

The football shaped object in his hands that was beeping increasingly frantic pitches drops to the floor, and he dives for it. Odo looks down in surprise, then recognizes what it is, but it's slightly too late, as timers on Klingon grenades are not known for their accuracy.

There's a flash of light and pressure as it detonates, and the cargo bay wall cracks, and the one sound no one wants to hear in a space station begins: the high pitched hissing of air rapidly leaving.

Odo gets to his feet in that uncanny way he sometimes does when he forgets to move like a being who has bones. He simply transitions from a body on the floor to a standing vaguely humanoid form. The Bolian, being closer to the blast, appears dead, or at least soon to be so.

He turns to his security officer to tell her to go call Chief O'Brien, when the hissing wall suddenly groans with the sound of bending metal, and the wall gives way completely. An entire semi-rectangular wall panel is ejected into the black, taking Odo and the dead Bolian with it

The security officer, nearer to the door, slams the access panel and dives through the door before it can finish opening, and rips off a barely attached wall panel to yank on the manual bulkhead release.

The door slams shut with typical Cardassian efficiency, not caring or bothering to check if there might be a limb or two in the way. The hurricane wind of all the station's air trying to escape is suddenly ended, and deafening white noise gives way to the low hum of the station.

Moments later, the crew up in Ops are reacting to the news of Odo's death in almost comically predictable ways.

Kira, the career soldier, is angry. She's seen many friends die in front of her, and she never let herself become numb to it. She's swearing at Odo in ways that the universal translator is so good at eliding, saying she always told him he was taking too many risks.

Just because he won't mind when someone stabs him doesn't mean he's invulnerable, she told him, and he, as always, almost-smiled in the way he only seems to do around her and grumbled about how he'd be careful.

The young doctor is barely holding it together. Kira's lashing out but it's a controlled sort of anger, a way she keeps a handle on the pain of losing people. Bashir, the eternal optimist to Odo's eternal pessimist, doesn't really believe in death, a strange trait for a doctor.

O'Brien is focusing himself on technical issues to avoid having to think about the emotional ones. What kind of weapon could have taken out a reinforced cargo bay wall? Had it been damaged before and incorrect repaired? He makes a note to do a full check of structural integrity

Dax has seemingly no reaction, but that's almost to be expected. You have a different outlook on death when you've died before, multiple times. As a near-immortal you see many people and make many friends, and nearly all of them will die long before you.

You have to learn to accept it, or it will kill you by inches. One of the downsides of seemingly endless life is there's a lot of time to mourn.

The commander is definitely feeling the impact of the loss, especially having had far too much experience with this particular kind of loss before. He flashes back to that time he always, in some way, still resides in...

When an alien force shows up and starts carving your ship into digestible chunks, you quickly become intimately familiar with the effects of sudden decompression on the humanoid body. It's not pretty, it's not as fast as you'd hope, and it's something you never forget.

He maintains his composure, leaning on his command training, and asks Kira to make a list of security officers she'd suggest promoting to Chief of Security. He thinks for a moment, realizes Odo had no family, and says he'll send a note to Dr. Pol

He turns back to go into his office when there's a dull thudding noise, and a sort of faint tink-tink-tink caused by the flexing of glass that happens with even the thickest of reinforced viewport.

He looks around in confusion, and Dax suddenly points at one of the high-up viewports. Floating outside the window, looking only slightly more annoyed than his resting "I hate life" face, is Odo.

It feels like something outside of a horror movie, a ghost floating silently outside a second story window, because humanoids don't just happily move around in the harsh void of space without needing a suit or a forcefield to keep them breathing.

But Odo isn't like most humanoids, after all. He's not a humanoid, for one. He's more a confounding self-propelled pile of goo that sometimes feels like pretending to be a humanoid shape.

This is made more obvious by the fact that he's only half there. His lower half is not legs, but a shimmering stretch of undifferentiated shapeshifter material, in order to hold onto an access handle tightly enough to give him the leverage to knock on a window.

Seeing he's got the attention of the crew, he pulls his hands from the window and starts attempting to sign to them. Kira's the only one with any experience in Bajoran sign language, and the best she can make out is something like "he broke his... Weasel? Columns him... Boat?"

He sighs, rolling his eyes, like only a shapeshifter really can. The sigh is silent of course, but if anyone could grumble in disappointment in the vacuum of space, it would be Odo.

His hands blur together as he shapeshifts them into a new form: a small flat panel, with Bajoran lettering in a large block font, perhaps a little too blocky as his aggravation is coming across even in typographical form.

COMBADGE DAMAGED BEAM ME ABOARD

Dax and O'Brien quickly confer, taking a painfully long moment to figure out how to lock onto something that is neither wearing a working combadge or reads as a life sign. Finally they figure out how to get a lock, and engage the transporter.

The grumpy-looking chief of security rematerializes on the Ops transporter pad, adjusting his "uniform" in an entirely unnecessarily maneuver he long ago picked up in his study of humanoids. He's naked, after all, he just looks like he's wearing clothes.

"Thank you for bringing me in", he grumbles, not saying the "finally" everyone can clearly hear in his tone. "It turns out that you can't open airlocks from the outside, so I wasn't able to come in the obvious way."

O'Brien, still slightly surprised by the sudden reappearance of his "dead" coworker, falls back on technical details as always. "That's a safety system we installed. The airlocks won't open unless they detect a ship is docked."

Kira chimes in with "Yeah, the Cardassians didn't have that restriction, as they wanted the freedom to just toss Bajorans out the airlocks when they felt like it." Odo responds with his usual grunt, a dismissive "pah, you solids and your weaknesses and your squabbles" noise.

Sisko replies "Regardless, it's good to see you alive and well, Odo."

Odo half-nods. "Commander, if you'll excuse me, I have reports to file and a safety lockout to implement. As tempting a prospect as it might seem, I wouldn't want Quark to end up to be sucked out the station's new orifice when he comes looking for his shipment of Yarmok sauce."

O'Brien jumps in with his typical urgency, half-covering up the feeling of "I should have fixed that already, damn" that he's seemingly always feeling around here. "I'll send a repair team down there right away."

Odo doesn't turn as he walks to the lift. "That would be appreciated, Chief. I'd rather not have to walk along the outside of the station again today." he says, punctuating it by activating the lift and descending out of view.

Sisko rubs his forehead. This is a strange place indeed, and despite all the headaches it gives him on a daily basis, he's beginning to feel almost at home in this remote alien place.

This place is strange, the people are strange, the situation is strange... But they're his strange.

Maybe someday they'll stop surprising him. But he doubts it, and he isn't sure he would want them to.

He sits down at his desk and pulls up another of the day's reports, thankful he doesn't need to write that letter to Doctor Mora Pol, for more than one reason.

It's never easy losing someone under your command, and writing that letter to their next-of-kin never gets easier either. But it's a good day when you don't have to do either.

[river-bottom-nightmare]

“You need a new superhero name.” 

Damian brought it up unexpectedly, eyes still trained on the security camera he was dismantling. 

“What?” Jon was sifting through the footage, using superspeed to catch every little detail of last night, but at Damian’s voice, he paused the recording and looked up.

Damian was still digging inside the camera, having removed the back panel and a good chunk of wires, and was now sifting through the piece of tech with a pair of tweezers. Nonetheless, he continued the conversation. “A name. You’re not going to be Superboy forever, are you?”

“Um,” Jon could honestly say he’d never thought about it. He’d always been Superboy, ever since he could remember. He wasn’t one to place much thought into birthrights or heritage, not like Damian, but he also wasn’t overlooking the fact that his father was Superman. What exactly did that make him? Superboy was the obvious answer. “I don’t think I can be anything else, Damian.”

“You have an older brother who also goes by Superboy.”

Jon shrugged. “We share.”

“Still. You’re graduating high school in just a few months, Jon. Though it’s surprising to say, you’ve outgrown the title.”

Jon’s lips instantly turned upward in a smirk. “I’ve outgrown the title, huh?”

At that, Damian turned to glare at him. Pointing a finger, he said, “I will taze you. Shut up.”

“Whatever you say, short stack.” Jon chuckled at Damian’s little growl. “But honestly, what else am I supposed to be? Everyone knows me as ‘Superman’s Son.’ I mean, Dad’s name is so big in the League, I don’t think I’ll ever separate myself from it.” And if he was honest, Jon didn’t know if he wanted to separate himself from it.

Damian hummed. “Not true. Look at Richard.”

“Dick? What about him?”

“Well,” Damian paused to move the tweezers to his other hand, “Richard started out as the first child hero, working under Batman. And unlike the other early proteges, he didn’t simply work as his mentor’s sidekick. He created his own legacy. And then he became Nightwing.”

“But Nightwing was already a thing,” Jon pointed out. “It’s a Kryptonian legend.”

“Yes, but there hasn’t actually been a Nightwing, has there? Even if there was one on Krypton, Richard was the first Nightwing on Earth. You wouldn’t call him a sidekick, would you?”

“What, no!” Jon’s reaction was immediate. “Nightwing’s, like, one of the most well-known guys out there. Literally everyone knows him, and literally everyone trusts him. He’s not a sidekick.”

Damian turned to smile at him. “Some would say he was. Do you understand my point?”

Jon pouted, took a deep breath and let it out. “Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I don’t know, I’m not even sure how to go about doing that.”

“Well, to start off, find a new name.” Damian hunched over the camera even more, suddenly focusing in on something.

“I guess so. You got any ideas?” At Damian’s lack of response, Jon asked again, “Damian?”

Damian straightened, holding up the tweezers. Clasped tightly between the tongs was a miniscule data chip. “Here’s the footage we’re looking for.”

Jon stared at him, eyes wide. “How did you even know that was there?”

Damian shrugged. “Simple matter of deductive reasoning.”

“Tim told you, didn’t he.”

A pause. Then, “Drake may have mentioned a while back that a certain trafficking ring was hiding the data chips inside the cameras, and that others were catching on to the trick. I simply tested out his theory.” Damian looked physically pained, and Jon laughed.

“Cool. Put it in, I’ll look through the footage.”

Damian handed the chip over, then laced his his fingers together, put his arms above his head to stretch. Jon, still holding the chip, stared at the line of Damian’s muscles. When Damian quirked an eyebrow, Jon quickly cleared his throat and took the old data chip out of the computer, replacing it with the new one. “So, any ideas?”

“For your name? A couple,” Damian said. “Of course, you need to have an idea for what you’re thinking of.”

Jon nodded absently, pressing rewind on the footage. “I’m not sure if I want to separate from the Super name entirely, though.”

“You don’t want to, or are you scared to?”

Jon snorted. “You probably know the answer to that better than I do. I think I got a name, it’s on the side of the truck.” He zoomed into the footage. “Yeah, it looks we were right. The pharmaceutical company’s related somehow. There’s that stupid gremlin looking thing again.’

“The griffin?” Damian asked, peering over his shoulder. He made a contemplative noise, brows furrowed

“Is that what that thing’s called? Looks like a half drowned bird.”

Damian laughed, and batted Jon’s hands aside. “That’s not what an actual griffin looks like. Here.” He pulled up a couple pictures on his phone.

Jon swiped through a couple pictures, eyebrows raised. “Yeah, those are a lot more impressive. What are they though?”

“Mythological creatures from a variety of different places. They have the body of a lion and the wings and head of an eagle. They’re quite majestic.”

Jon squinted his eyes at him. “You’re implying something. I know you’re implying something.”

In response, Damian nodded his head towards the phone.

“What?” Jon asked.

“Griffin! It’s a perfect name.”

Jon raised his eyebrows skeptically. “Oh yeah. Because I’m part cat and part bird. Perfect analogy.”

Damian slapped his hand lightly. “No, you moron. It doesn’t have anything to do with the eagle or the lion.”

“Then?”

“Your dual heritage.” At Jon’s uncomprehensive look, Damian sighed. “You’re half-Kryptonian, half-human. And it shows. When you fight, you’re fierce and unafraid, much like your father. At the same time, though, you’re endlessly curious and inquisitive, like your mother. God knows I’ve been on the end of that far too often.”

“Oh. That, huh. That actually makes sense.”

Damian shrugged. “I’m just saying. It would be a good homage to your roots, and you’re honoring your parents, without being too overt.”

Jon looked down at the phone again. The lion part was strong, muscled, steady. The bird’s head was curved and fierce, wings spread majestically.

 “Griffin. You know what? I kinda like it.”

OKAY SO THIS WASN’T ACTUALLY MY IDEA i read a damijon fic a while back on ao3 where the author had jon’s name as griffin and i thought that was so so cool so i wrote a thing and i tried to find it again to give them credit but i couldn’t find it!!! so if anyone knows the fic i’m talking about, or if you yourself wrote the fic, please let me know so i can link you in the thing. it really was an incredible idea.

tag list: @comicsandhoney @birdy-bat-writes @elles-shitposts-personified @subtleappreciation @yesboopityboop @dangerduckjpeg @astroherogirl

and i know you’re not actually on my tag list so sorry for bothering you with this but @iamwhelmed i thought you would appreciate this

[hms-chill]

To Know More of You

Five times Henry threatened to divorce Alex, and one time he did the opposite

(no angst just alex being a shit)

Chapter 1/2

Alex expected to fall in love with a lot of things when he and Henry moved in together. He expected to fall even more in love with watching Henry get ready in the morning, or with the way he looks in Alex’s clothes. Alex expected to fall in love with Henry’s excitement about learning new things, or the face he makes when he’s playing a board game. But what Alex didn’t expect to fall in love with is the way Henry reacts to certain phrases. They’re nearly all things he’s picked up from Nora, but he’s found a special joy in hearing Henry react, watching him be incredulous as he tries to piece together what exactly things mean. And, as much as Henry May hate it, it’s something Alex absolutely loves.

In his defense, it starts on accident. It’s been a long day, and he’s just leaving the library when Henry calls to confirm their dinner plans. Alex is half distracted getting into the car as he says, “Yeah, so if you wouldn’t mind preheating the oven and putting the potato toddlers in, I’ll finish things up when I get there.”

He’s not entirely focused on his phone conversation, but he’s pretty sure he hears Henry mutter something that ends in “fuck”. He’s not sure; it’s been a long day of studying and his brain is fried. Still, this might be an opportunity to mess with Henry, and that never gets old.

“I’m sorry, the what?” Henry asks, and Alex grins.

“The potato toddlers. I think they need it at 425; the packet’s in the freezer and it should say on the back.”

“Alex, do you mean the... tater tots?”

“Yeah; the potato toddlers. I thought you studied English in college; shouldn’t you know this?”

“What time did you say you’ll be home?”

“About half an hour, why?”

“Shaan should have the divorce papers drawn up by then. I’ll let you have custody of the, um, toddlers.”

“Well, if you divorce me, you can make your own dinner tonight. I’m going to be enjoying some nice potato toddlers in a nice breakfast-for-dinner burrito, and if you divorce me I’m taking it all. I’m a lawyer; I’ll skew the papers my way.”

“Well you’ll have to get here first,” Henry says, and under that joking tone is an affection so genuine that Alex has to remind himself to breathe. It’s only been a day, but he missed Henry, too. He wonders vaguely how they’ll cope when they have to be apart longer, then decides not to think about that for now.

“As soon as I can, baby. I’m coming.”

—

He doesn’t exactly plan on doing it again. But it’s late when Henry comes into his office, and Alex coughs at just the wrong time. He’s been fighting a cold all week, and he’s trying to hide it, but just as he recovers from his coughing fit, he feels arms slide around his shoulders. Henry leans in to kiss his cheek, and Alex smiles in spite of himself.

“Hi, love. You feeling alright?”

“I’m fine; just a sore throat.”

“I’ll make you some tea and honey,” Henry says, “But I think... of you can, I’d like to bring it to you in bed. It’s getting late.”

Alex agrees. He can’t say ‘no’ to Henry, and it is late. So he gets ready, and he’s in bed when Henry comes into their room, a mug in his hand. He smiles, and the whole thing is so fucking domestic that if he doesn’t ruin it, Alex thinks he might explode.

“Does it have bee sauce?”

“Does it have... yes, it has honey in it to help your throat. I’m going to divorce you.”

“Not now. Too tired,” Alex says, and now that he’s finally back in bed, he feels it. He hadn’t realized how heavy his body feels suddenly, and the places where he’s sore from sitting all day are already starting to stretch out. Henry runs a hand through his hair, and Alex leans toward it, closing his eyes as he does and just letting Henry’s closeness wash over him.

“Drink your tea, then get some rest, love. The world will still need saving when you wake up.”

Alex grabs Henry’s wrist, and when he opens his eyes, Henry is smiling just a bit.

“If I don’t let go you can’t get divorce papers,” Alex says, and Henry laughs.

“You’re ridiculous, and I adore you.”

“Stay? It’s too big here for just me.” David whines, and Alex smiles in spite of himself. “Too big for just me and David.”

“Of course, Love. Let me get changed.”

Alex tries to stay awake, he does. But he’s more tired than he’d realized, and as he drinks the tea, his eyes close automatically. He’s nearly asleep When he feels the bed dip, and he barely has time to roll over and cuddle Henry close before he’s out for the night.

—

From there, the divorce threats become, if not normal, at least regular. They’re never taken seriously, but before long, Alex is out of phrases to earn them. He starts to miss the way Henry will roll his eyes, or the fond exasperation in his tone. He has a weekend trip to Denver to help Raf‘s campaign coming up, though, and he can’t wait to find something out there.

He was right to hope. Raf is just as much of a shit as he is, and they’d spent a night lying on the floor of his office laughing together, brainstorming awful ways for Alex to talk to his boyfriend. It felt eerily similar to their first summer together, and Alex couldn’t be happier on all counts. Plus, now, he has a whole fleet of cursed phrases ready to go.

He gets home late to find Henry asleep on the couch, and there’s not much time to talk while they move from the living room to their bed. But the next morning when Henry comes into the kitchen to wrap him in a hug, he sees his opportunity. He’s adding the milk to his coffee, and after kissing Henry’s cheek as a good morning, he unleashes a double whammy.

“Aw, hell yeah, cow juice. I’ve had enough nut juice to ruin the dairy industry twice over.”

“As soon as I’m awake, I’m divorcing you.”

Alex’s reply is cut off by a yawn, followed almost immediately by a kiss that’s all morning breath. He complains, but still leans up for another as Henry smiles.

“That’s not the kiss of a soon-to-be divorcee,” Alex says, and Henry just laughs, a laugh that fills Alex up with more warmth than his coffee ever could.

"I hate you," Henry mumbles, resting his head on top of Alex's for a moment. "But I'm glad you're home."

"Me too."

-

They're eating breakfast together when David comes down the stairs. He was mostly asleep when Alex got home last night, so when he sees him leaning against the counter drinking coffee, he makes a beeline. His tongue is out as he hops up on Alex's leg to cover his hands with slobber, and when Alex kneels down with a laugh, David moves to licking his face.

"Hey, David. How's my favorite furry offspring, hmm? How are you?"

"You're not getting custody if you call him that. I'll divorce you and take him back to London," Henry says, not even looking at them as he scrapes the last of the yogurt out of a container.

"He's just my little furry boy, yes he is," Alex says, and he's so focused on David that he doesn't notice Henry throwing his empty carton until it hits him on the forehead. He looks up to see Henry just turning to the sink, not quite quickly enough to hide his smile. "He can't eat that! He's going to get sick. Are you trying to hurt our gorgeous furry son? Henry, you’re his father! You can’t poison your son!"

"Oh, shut up," Henry says, though there's no weight to it. He undermines it even further by coming over to kneel on the ground with them, kissing Alex and rubbing David's ears until he shakes. When they sit, David manages to climb into both their laps at once, and any plans for divorce are put on hold immediately.

-

Nora's there the next time it happens, and that only eggs Alex on. They're gathered in the boys' living room for a game night, and when Henry sits down beside Alex, both his knees pop. He grunts a bit, but Alex just grins.

"Aww, babe, hear that? Your skeleton's getting ready to hatch," he says, dropping a kiss onto Henry's knee before looking up at him with a smile. Nora's laughing, but Henry just looks a bit worried.

"Alex, love, do you really want to have to draw up divorce papers in front of Nora? Because I’ll divorce you, but I don’t want you to be embarrassed in front of your ex." Nora’s cackling by now, and Henry's grinning in spite of himself. Alex kisses his nose, and Henry just shakes his head, smiling. "We really need to invest more in keeping you two apart; I’m not sure I like whatever this is becoming.”

“Chaos is indivisible,” Nora says, and Alex grins, bumping his fist against hers across the coffee table. Henry just rolls his eyes at them both, and Nora laughs as he finally cracks a smile at them both, trying and failing to hide it behind the rule book on the table.

On AO3

Shoutout to @saltfics for workshopping cursed phrases with me and also to @bea-fox-mountchristen-windsor for saying she wanted this shitpost in a fic

Also, I'm sorry. (bonus also, the title is from one of Alex's emails, p.243)

[literaphobe]

What's your most chaotic interaction from tumblr? Like rate dumb things that has happened or something jkshceks

oh my god get ready because this took me looking through my asks back until early 2017. i got whiplash reliving some of these. narrowed many moments down to the best ones. behold some of my most chaotic/dumb interactions on tumblr, from most recent to least:

‘not to be an asshole but could you stop making content’ incredible. came for my entire life. for $8,000 i will stop. 8/10

‘why can’t adora be white? :( don’t us white lesbians deserve representation too? :(’ i wanted to die when i got this ask. i still am in disbelief over the fact that this happened. 9/10

‘read your fic - you’re gay’ yeah i got clocked for being gay. what the fuck :( exposed :( 7/10

‘can you flirt in the dms i’m too single for this shit’ getting scolded by anons for allegedly flirting.... yeah call me out! 7/10

‘i have reported you to the secret service for talking about assassinating trump btw’ was anon messing w me? did they want me to be scared? who knows. im not even american. 6.5/10

‘fyi i took a screenshot of one of your posts. ten minutes later my house burnt down so now a screenshot of your post is next to pictures of my house in flames’ 9.5/10. it was definitely my fault. im so sorry i caused your house to burn anon i take full responsibility. u didn’t even blame me for the fire but u should have 

‘how dare u say straights aren’t allowed in the b99 fandom. its 2019 fandoms should be inclusive and welcoming of people regardless of their sexuality????’ 9/10. still cannot believe till this day that i was accused of oppressing the straights 

‘jake is straight you can die mad about it 😘‘ 9/10. amazing. love it when straight people send me death threats for headcanoning characters as bi

 ‘how do you pronounce your name i’ve been saying it as mice hell’ 9.5/10. absolutely incredible that anon thought my incredibly common name michelle was pronounced like this

‘An hour or two? LOL NO. I browse tumblr barely for 15-20 minutes. Of which I have exactly 90 seconds to go through your blog and read dcau chapter if there are responses of new one. Which I do in hardly 45 seconds. So, I actually just skim through the chapter and absorb more than others who read it like twice/thrice. Also, I am writing this long ass ask because my girlfriend is making me wait in my car and wasting our precious time we'd be spending on our date instead. YIKES.’ 9.5/10. ok for context. i uploaded a 15k chapter for a fic and in the tags i told people to be prepared because the chapter might take them like an hour or two to read. and this anon was pissed off that i would dare assume they would take such a long time to read my fic. also they had to tell me why they took the time to send me that ask in the first place. it is so fucking funny

‘Fuck can't wait. You told Monday, now you're telling Tuesday tommorow you'll say Wednesday? Bitch.😠‘ 7/10 i told people i would post my fic on monday but then i delayed it and this anon called me a bitch. this ask is hilarious 

‘Not just to Andy but also every other stranger. Nobody should let you near them if they are uncomfortable. You are bisexual that means everyone should know that you are an equal Potential Threat to all females with all the harassing going on. Being bisexual has its own advantages and disadvantages. You too fall into the category of creepy males creeppin out other females.‘ 8.5/10. i said ‘i want to hug andy samberg’ once and anon decided i was a predator. like yes this is so biphobic but also the way they treated me like a dangerous threat for wanting to hug a celebrity is so funny

‘i just got home from getting kidnapped for 5 days (lol long story) but seeing that you updated your fic definitely helped!’ 10/10. probably the most iconic ask i have ever gotten. also anon was serious and came back in a second ask to explain a little bit more about what happened. i hope they are living a safe happy life now 

‘not to burst your fandom bubble but my child’s middle name was in honor of my father not b99′ remember when chelsea peretti roasted me for making an inaccurate joke about how the middle name of hers and jordan peele’s child was ‘gino’ because it was like the boy version of gina? remember how she slapped me in the face and i completely deserved it for making a stupid joke? my shitposts have definitely been the death of me. will i stop? no. 10/10

‘cocaine girl do not die in that earthquake’ okay so. cocaine girl was one of the funniest commenters i have ever had the pleasure of knowing on my most popular fic. one day in her comment she said ‘there’s an earthquake happening rn hope i don’t die sskksksks’ and then she vanished. she didn’t comment for several chapters. i was super fucking worried you guys i thought she died or didn’t like my fic anymore. according to my memory she came back like weeks later in my comment section like ‘lmao yeah something hit my head during the earthquake and i was in the hospital for five days im ok now tho’ 10/10

[caffeinated-cryptid]

Hi I know I’m kinda late to the whole thing abt it but I’ve scrolled through your entire “deityfucker au” tag (love the name kshejdbfjrn) and I’m just- You can probably tell from the... enthusiastic (somewhat of an understatement but whatever-) comments I left on your posts with their drawings- I love this au sm and I just- hejwijjekjffnoedn Can I plz be added to the tag list and also may I have the proper links to everything (meaning if there’s fics posted somewhere I’d rlly like to read them and I’d probably devour them all within a day or two lol-)

I’m sorry if I’m bothering you or whatever I just rlly love this au sm and it makes me super extra happy for some reason I can’t explain and I just slhwidhjwhdb :D thank you for making it a thing in the first place I love you sm [[platonically lol]]

- A super enthusiastic person who rlly likes mythology and gods and also rlly likes your art bc it’s so gorgeous kshdhsjsj (btw sorry for the long ask oops I tend to write a lot ;v;)

the-edgy-enby-shitposter said to caffeinated-cryptid: OH I sent an ask before kinda lowkey ranting about your deityfucker au and in my excitement about my newly-discovered hyperfixation I forgot about the actual existence of Christmas so if you celebrate it merry Christmas (even though it’s 2:43 am for me on the 26th of december rn so technically past Christmas but sTILL) and if you don’t celebrate it uh happy holidays in general! If you do tho I hope you got lots of nice gifts and stuff bc you deserve them!!! thank you for existing I love your art sm okay bye ✌️

- an awkward person with adhd who gets so caught up in possible new hyperfixations that they go super extra mega big dumdum mode ;v;

heyo, of course you can be added to the taglist!! sadly there’s only one full fic out at the moment, which is ashes, ashes, but i’m slowly working on the others as motivation comes and goes!! (fingers crossed for more next year because it’s been very hectic this month)

also you’re not bothering me at all 🥺💗 your comments were very sweet and i’m glad you liked the concept of the au!! sorry for the late reply btw-- i do do the christmas Thing(tm) sometimes, so i was making dinner with my roommates. but yeah, it was a very good day, and i hope it was good for you too!! thank you for being so sweet <33

[maniacwatchestheworld]

I may have fallen deeeeeep into Scooby-Doo land this past year, and I suspect that all of you who followed me for that sweet, sweet Scooby-Doo content didn’t expect my blog to take a left turn like this. But you see, I’m a Damien stan first and foremost. I shall always return to my boy. Or rather I have a very specific set of boys that I shall always return to. And Damien is one of them.

So yeah. I am very not sorry for the Markiplier content I’ve been posting lately! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR SIGNING UP TO FOLLOW ME, FUCKERS!

I mean, I’ll get back to posting Scooby-Doo stuff eventually. I really REALLY do want to get to 13 Ghosts and the movies and What’s New eventually. Not to mention that too fucking long >150,000 word fic that I’ve been working on. But I need to finish editing this video I’ve been working on first. Then you’ll be getting your regularly scheduled Scooby-Doo shitposts. I’ve got Scooby Goes Hollywood next on my docket, so that’s going to take a WHILE.

Speaking of, if I posted the music videos from Scooby Goes Hollywood, what do you think the chances of them getting my account in trouble would be?

[turtle-steverogers]

I can’t write for shit but I know you are really talented ,so what about an angst about Spot going to war and he doesn’t make it back and Race and their 1 year old son go to visit his grave and talk to him? Idk you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to but I thought it was a really cool idea

hi! so this is a pretty on brand prompt (especially for a certain upcoming Thing, but...,,.,) but anyway yeah here’s a fic. hope i did your idea some justice!

warnings: lots of talk of death, but nothing graphic.  my shitty, caffeine muddled writing (truly, not my best work, sorry)

ship: sprace

word count: 1529

editing: nein

Just Out of Reach

“Aye, Sergeant, need some water up there?”

“Yeah, thanks man.”

A water bottle is passed up to Spot, and he takes it, taking one hand off the M2 machine gun that’s deadbolted down in front of him and using his teeth to unscrew the cap.  He hadn’t realized how goddamn thirsty he’d been, but it’s fairly easy and not at all uncommon to lose touch with yourself during the methodical cycle of a mission.  

Really, it’s just reconnaissance.�� Mapping out the desolate land that surrounds base- cataloguing the unknowns and the possible threats.  It’s the simple stuff.  The required bits that make the more strategic missions possible.  But they still take long as hell and Spot’s willing to bet that he’s sweat through his fatigues by now as he bakes in the desert sun.  His helmet is scratchy and the army-issued goggles are digging into his skull, squeezing his brain and making his head throb.  The water helps a bit.

His vehicle is at the front of the convoy, and somehow, he found himself perched in the turret, calculating gaze scanning around for anything amiss.  They near an Iraqi village, vacated looking buildings lining either side of the sandy, dirt road.

Spot thinks he sees a few windows shutter closed and when he looks to his left, there’s a little girl (she can’t be more than five.  Christ)  sitting on her stoop, knees pulled up to her chest.  She’s staring at the convoy, eyes wide and fearful and fingers plugged into her ears.  Spot feels a pang of...of something.  Guilt, maybe.  Sympathy.

Really, none of these people asked for this.  They never wanted big, scary men in big, scary vehicles shouting out foreign remarks and invading their space- their homes.  

Spot forces his gaze back to the front, willing himself to focus back on the task at hand.  But he can’t help his mind wandering back to that little girl.  There was something about her.  The innocence, maybe.  The simplistic look of discernable fear in the face of something scary.

He thinks of Teddy.

His son’s own wide, brown eyes and chubby, five year old cheeks.  Really, they’re not so different- that girl and Teddy.  They’re lives are so drastically diverse from one another, but they share that same, innate naivete.  The all prevailing look of curiosity that only kids can convey.

Spot misses Teddy.

Granted, he always misses him and Race.  The feeling isn’t mutually exclusive to any one moment, but sometimes the ache will grow into more of a pain, gripping his chest with longing to kiss his husband and hug his son.  Maybe dig his fingers into Teddy’s sides as he picks him up and swings him, planting an exaggerated kiss on his cheek.  It’s a foolproof way to make him laugh.  And if Race is there, he’ll laugh too.  There are some things in life he can count on to be constant, and his family is one of them.

He comes back to himself as he nears a stoplight and suddenly, something in the world seems wrong.  He’s just about to secure himself around the gun when there’s a shout from down below and then the humvee is jerkily rolling to a stop and that’s when Spot sees the wire and that can only mean someone’s going to die if they don’t fucking stop right fucking now and--

Nothing.

-

“Papa, can we go see Daddy today?”

Race freezes halfway through screwing the cap off a carton of milk.  He turns to look at his son and finds him staring at him in all his six and a half year old glory.  His hair is a mess of bedhead and sleep and even though Race had gotten him up and dressed in a decent amount of time for a Saturday, he still looks rumpled.  But that’s just how kids are, Race guesses.

It had been a year since Race’s life took a tumble into the realm of his worst nightmare.  A year since Lieutenant Kelly and Sergeant Jacobs had shown up on his doorstep, clad in Army Service Uniforms and wearing twin, somber looks. 

It hadn’t taken long for Race to piece together why they were there.

That day was still hazy, a jumbled mix of numb shock and things like, “we regret to inform you” and “killed in action” and then there was Teddy pulling at his pant leg and asking him with those wide goddamn eyes why “guys dressed like Daddy” were there and Race didn’t know how to tell him that Daddy’s gone, because how the hell do you explain that to a five year old and he wasn’t equipped to deal with something like this and he still isn’t and-

Yeah.  A nightmare.

Race still isn’t sure if Teddy knows exactly what happened.  He seems to understand that Spot is gone and that fundamentally, he isn’t coming back, but he doesn’t think Teddy understands death yet.  The finality of it- the weight behind the concept.  

It was inexplicably haunting to see Teddy not crying at Spot’s funeral.  Race was crying.  Hell, Race was a mess.  It was so bad that Albert had to take over his eulogy and Jojo had to watch Teddy for a few minutes while he lost his shit in the bathroom.

But Teddy hadn’t cried.  He’d just clung to Race with a tight grip and wide, bewildered eyes, not saying a word.  

“Sure, bud,” Race says, shaking himself and pouring the milk into Teddy’s bowl of Lucky Charms, “we can go see Daddy.”

He takes Teddy along to Spot’s grave fairly often, but he never really knows how much of it he processes.  Like at the funeral, he’s always quiet and subdued when they go, never really saying anything.  Just sitting in Race’s lap, head bent into the crook of his neck as he stares at the headstone.  

“Yay!” Teddy bounces a little in his seat, grinning as Race sets his breakfast in front of him, “I want to tell him about my dance recital!”

Something in Race’s chest cracks open, making him feel simultaneously warm and cold and entirely overwhelmed. 

On their way to the cemetery later, they pass a man selling custom bouquets on the street.  Brilliant mixes of orchids and roses, gardenias and anemones, bleeding color into the cold grey of winter, and when Teddy sees them and turns that pleading look on Race, well, who is he to say no?

-

“Hi, Daddy!”

For once, Race stays a little off to the side, watching his son sit cross legged in front of Spot’s grave.  He’s talking, words spilling out at about a mile a minute, but Race tunes them out.  This is their private moment and he doesn’t want to get in the way of that.  

“I kinda wish you coulda seen it, but…” Teddy shrugs, mouth grimacing in a way that’s so strikingly Spot that Race has to close his eyes for a moment, “That’s okay.  I know you woulda come if you coulda.”

And, well, ouch.

“Anyway, I brought my scarf for you, Daddy,” Race opens his eyes to see Teddy carefully wrapping his little Thomas the Tank Engine scarf around the headstone, just over where he’d placed the flowers they picked up earlier, “‘Cause it’s getting cold and Papa always tells me that scarves help make you super warm.”

Race has to bite his lip to keep from crying or doing something stupid to ruin his son’s moment and, like, breakdown in front of him.

“Anyway, I’ll let you talk to Papa now, ‘cause I know he always likes to talk to you a little,” He smacks a kiss onto his palm and presses it to Spot’s engraved name, “Bye bye, Daddy, I love you.”

When he turns to look at Race, he’s smiling.  It’s big and unyielding and Race fucking melts, because this is all he really wants.  Sure, when Teddy gets older, Spot’s absence will ring loud and daunting, but hell, if he can have any ounce of peace with it then, well, Race...Race is fucking ecstatic.  He can handle this. 

“Your turn, Papa!” Teddy says, beckoning Race to sit down and climbing into his lap when he does.

“Thanks, little man,” Race hugs Teddy close, “Did you have a good time talking to Daddy?”

“Uh huh,” Teddy says, squirming a little in Race’s tight hold, “I know he was listening super good, I could feel it.”

Race swallows, “Oh yeah?” Teddy nods, “I’m super glad, Teds.”

And maybe, really, that’s what this is about.  Spot’s death was a curveball thrown with the wrong hand, jarring a perceived reality and shifting everything Race had known a little too far to the left.  And no, it isn’t okay.  Maybe it’ll never be okay, but it doesn’t have to be.  Spot’s still there, lingering somewhere in their hearts and made real by his memory- their memories of him.  He’s still palpable, still reachable, and if Teddy can feel it, maybe Race can too.

Race takes a breath, fortifying and fond, then smiles.  It doesn’t feel so strained and Race feels just that much lighter when he clears his throat.

“Hey, Spottie…”

-

it wasn’t very good don’t clown me please my brain said ‘sorry bud’ today

thanks for reading, chiefs

hmu to be added to my tag

TAG LIST: @getchapapes @we-dont-sell-papes @suddenly-im-respecsable 

@aw-jus-let-em-try @well-the-kids-do-too @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn @felix-loves-albert-and-ralbert @technically-whizzy

@andthewoildwillknow @the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog @localfakeitalian @have-we-got-news-for-you @musical-shitposts @thebroadwayaesthetic

@thomasbeingthomas

@irondad-spiderson-duo

@snakesarenonexistent 

@i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing 

@kpop-kk

@mentallytiredgoat

@yxseminx

@be-more-chill-evan-hansen 

@stopthe-presses

@elmers-half-a-cup

@and-i-lostmy-shoe

@spot-me50-papes

@honeynutpoptarts

@newsies-ensemble

@bennie-badeend 

@auspicioustarantula 

@faithmil 

@hopefully-not-the-ghostbusters

@bxnesof92

@backgroundnewsies

@sure-as-a-star

@skybert-daherty 

@eveningpaper

@malex-13

@albert-eats-cookie-cake

@heart-a-n-o-n

@bitching-newsboys

@orollyitsracetrackhiggins

@joshuaburrageenthusiast

@random-superhero-stuff

@awkwardstranger98

@falling-out-trees-101

@modern-race-owns-airpods

@asphodelnerd

@i-dont-do-sadness

@rockyroad236

@sirgrahamcracker

@godhatesjordan

@thats-our-que-boys

@bastille-smedry

@nerdsies

@toss-me-a-pape

@wolfbutterfly42

@revolutioninthesewers

@spot-the-brooklyn-pirate

@aintnosleevesinbrooklyn

[jamesholden]

Do you consider Holden to be good bi representation? Or is it just something personal that you uphold? How would you consider him Bi AF in the show? To me, it seems like we have a throw away line in the book and a JKR ‘oh yeah, Dumbledore was totally gay” give me brownie points situation. Don’t you think we deserve better?

sorry, nonny, i sat on your ask for a while because i wanted to like think about my response so i didn’t come off one way or another in it, because i wasn’t sure of the tone it’s being asked in.

you know it’s funny, in the… three years? i’ve been saying Holden is bi, no one ever confronted me about my—as you put it, Rowling’d—vaguely confirmed headcanon, for one reason or another. the kind of two throwaway lines in two books (holden spent an entire scene referring to a male news anchor as “pretty”, repeatedly, in addition to considering sleeping with a male waiter for a hot second) were things I ran with. had fun with, since that’s what fandoms do. people mostly ignored it, probably because it didn’t jive with what they already decided.

i don’t think i ever called holden good bi rep. because yeah, in all honesty, he isn’t. canonically, he is not good rep. could he be, if shown? sure. i don’t think the talent would be too against doing something like that. do i think the books will ever fully confirm it? no, not with one book left. I did however find it interesting that TPTB said the same for Amos, and that was taken as Word of God, while Holden was thrown in the “still awful AND straight” bucket, alone. because that makes total sense for the whole cast to be HC’d as not straight except Holden.

I absolutely do think we deserve better, but i don’t think my fun and fancy free attempts to enjoy myself in fandom with fic or shitposts or “holden’s got that bi energy” should automatically prove i DON’T think that. i think it’s a tiny bit disingenuous to assume i’m 100% on a HOLDEN IS GOOD BI REP train just cause i make a few jokes, or remind the fandom at large that Holden has JUSt as much confirmation as Amos does, when it comes down to the wire. Ty said it, just like Ty said what he said about Amos. So why not? (ty also said something that made me a little… idk, put off, about monogamy, as if Holden being bi would lead to him cheating on Naomi or bringing a third person into their relationship which is… a WHOLE other conversation but you know) my feelings are complicated, and i choose to present the fun of it, and that it’s out there, rather than the complicated part of whether it’s actual rep or not (it’s not).

And then there’s Drummer, who hard core is set up like she’s in love with Naomi, and we don’t know if her attraction to women will ever be confirmed or shown or anything. They keep saying it was love, but we don’t know if it will get brushed under the rug with Naomi back on the Roci. These are all conversations i’ve had with my friends, all ships and HCs i heavily support, and would love to see confirmed. but i haven’t taken the time to sit down and write seriously about it.

now, i fully know that how i fan is not how everyone fans, that I find comfort and fun in making fanworks and HCs and joking about that disaster bi energy Holden totally has, even if it’s never fully shown in canon. people want more. my friends want more. and they should, they do deserve it. but i also like… can’t i just have a little bit of fun on this goshdarn hell site without being spoken to like i don’t care about actual representation when there are many people doing the same thing without being questioned on it as well? shouldn’t there be some consideration that maybe i just don’t open every fun post with an explanation of my deeper, more conflicting feelings about it? maybe if the idea of bi holden had had as much discussion out there as other characters, i’d have more serious conversations. but for a while it was just me, shouting into the void. so i made it fun.

i hope i’m not coming off as like fire and brimstone, super annoyed, or whatever. i’m really not, i get it. it’s a wholly complicated issue. i just you know in three years, virtually no one wanted to have an actual conversation about this at all. it was all amos and drummer and alex and naomi and literally everyone else while holden was the trash straight. so it stung a little feeling like i’m being put to the question for having fun with a character who means a lot to me that i love rather than seeking and calling for good representation, when i can do both. 

but thank you for the ask, i’d love to be able to talk more about this with people than sobs into the void

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTER LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 7

when will one of these chapters start with ‘wow murphy’s gonna love this and rly enjoy themself’ WHEN IT IS. I HAVE TO KNOW.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

okay i am Recognising this chapter so we’re not quite yet in untouched, completely Feral territory which is. nice. thats nice. i like it when i know what im working w/ but who the kell hnows.

Something nagged at her. A forgotten thing. She thought hard, but even so, it took a long moment for her to remember.

me when i go to my room to fetch my dishes for the washing machine but i get sidetracked by my dog being cute and then i forget and go back downstairs and remember the dishes and then i come back up but my dog is still there and i forget again-

i’m just. rly enjoying this glynda. I SAID IT BEFORE BUT IM RLY THRIVING FOR THIS IDIOT WITH ONE BRAINCELL. THE BRAINCELL IS CINDER.

Glynda’s hunting instincts were primed, the only part of her that worked with absolute clarity, even now.

this is why she hasn’t noticed cinder’s flirting, the fool, the blithering idiot,

In the split second before she faded from consciousness, she smelled ash, the foreign Aura within her flaring until she could taste it: burning flesh and steady decay. Then it disappeared, fizzling out.

hm. is it a callout to say this is. romantic. this is kinda romantic. hey is this? gay? i think its gay. im gonna settle on it.

its gay.

When she awoke the next morning, it was like pulling herself from some great void,

H👈A😎H👈

for some reason THAT was the fingergun that made me spill juice all over my keyboard i see how it is

Then she remembered that at Beacon, her blood usually stayed inside her body.

im thriving for this weird observation. you know when you wake up somewhere new like a hotel or smthng and for a moment yr like ‘where am i’ and u figure it out thru like. normal fucking means. like oh thats not my duvet oh thats not my ceiling oh thats not where my window is-

and then glynda has to judge her location by how much blood of hers is spilled in it. this bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE GOT ONE BRAINCELL AND OFFAL HUNT IS THE THESIS TO PROVE IT-

It was the room she’d all but dissembled in after getting her ass kicked and then saved by Cinder Fall.

sorry im going HOG WILD on quotes but these new lines r SO GOOD and im LIVING for them....................... like until now we’ve had glynda goodwitch, terrifying unstoppable woman and occasional dipshit. now shes all dipshit. just 100% pure dipshit. spread her on a field and you couldnt tell her from the manure. a complete buffoon.

that said its nice to see glynda using her Brainmess for once... i mean she still wont be able to put an otherwise fuck-ton of clues together still because that requires, the ability to multitask, which is surely does not have, but finally she’s taking five fuckin minutes to let herself go ‘well THATS weird’.

There had only been a stirring of life along those red-vein tattoos, swirling just along the cut of Cinder’s dress.

im enjoying the new ‘sexey tattoos’ slant we’re seein in this remaster it was a real shame they didnt get primetime attention last time.

also glynda Why Ya Lookin,

Hello,

she’d be a heretic to the Law of Semblances twice-over,

I May Not Know My Semblances, But I Know A Bitch When I See One!

For the first time in years, Glynda wanted to set everything aside and rest.

we stan a sleepy bitch................ ugh im so glad she’s finally realising she needs 2 give herself some mfing slack!!!!!!!!!!!!!! because as much as im enjoying the Dragfest she rly needs to. chill.

When she finally emerged from the bathroom, a towel around her waist and her dirty clothes balled in her hands,

look i didnt make this blog to lie that my first reaction to this was tilting my head and going ‘tiddy out? tiddy? is the tiddy out? tiddy?’

look women look hotter doing all the things guys do and this is fact i wont sit down and i Wont Shut Up

No more rushing ahead and getting herself torn up for nothing.

H👈A😎H👈!

thats a Good One, Glynda,

Winter Schnee had the pale white hair of her bloodline, and the sharp features of the famously reclusive Willow Schnee.

YES BITCH WE ARE IN IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POP THOSE MFING BOTTLES

i have been WAITING. FOR WEEKS. 7 FUCKING WEEKS I HAVE SAT HERE AND WAITED AND IT FINALLY PAID OFF OH MY GOD MY BITCH IS IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As Ozpin had said, she was twice the age of the younger Schnee daughter, and her blue eyes held all the acuity that age had brought her.

i made a Sound at this i CAN SEE WHAT YOU DID. I SEE IT. I SEE IT,

A single photo hung on the wall next to a placard detailing some kind of award. Glynda pushed her glasses up on her nose to get a better look. Though it had the appearance of a family photo, only the women of the Schnee family were present, Willow and Weiss flanking a newly ranked Winter.

why am i being targeted directly anyway

safdjhgfsdajgh WINTER,....... im still. im Love w/ this main bitch finally... Finally.... i love winter in offal hunt so fuckign much and im so glad she’s here and that we’re getting more details because AAAAAAAAAAAAAA i love her!!!!!!!!!

also i cant.... say anything because spoilers..... but also............. NNNNNNN this convo has just. so much behind it. SO MUCH CONTEXT. its Killing Me,

A strange expression crossed Winter’s expression. It looked like how bruises felt.

im losing my fucking mind rn diesel and kc are going right to hell and they know it but do they care???????????? no. they already are the devil,

okay i went silent for ages and read ahead because i screamed in discord for like ten minutes and it looked like this

so YEAH theres that, i guess,

Instead, it only filled her with deep unease. Glynda didn't know what Cinder’s game was, but it was becoming clear that it did not align with her own. And the more she thought about it, the less she understood. The less she understood, the more wary she became.

cinder: i wanted to tell this girl i liked her so i wrote her a note that said get out of my desert,

im rly thrivin in this chap i already said it but we’re rly jumping into the meat n bones of the Plot now and its a Good Plot so im excited!!!!!!!!!

“Yes, I think you’ll like her!”

“she’s a lesbian, like you, so maybe her distinguished energy will chill your dysfunctional energies out-”

Glynda pressed her lips; she needed a delicate hand here, needed to carefully choose a response which would divert Ozpin away from the topic. “No reason.”

YES MY FAV LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is Big Me and literally this is MAYBE the best and also funniest line in this entire shitshow remembers the Pasta Bit and /sweats

i also rly enjoy glynda n ozs friendship... i mean im out here remembering the glynda/ozpin/cinder fic so i was already sold on all their interactions but its rly good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GLYNDAS BEST FRIEND MAY BE 200 YEARS OLD BUT GOD DAMN IT WHEN WILL YR BFF EVER BE THERE FOR U LIKE THAT,

theres a Bit here im not gonna go into but. honestly once u kno how offal hunt basically ends? Its Sad and Im Sad. i hate how knowing this whole thing just inflects on everything else and everything glynda wants and honestly this whole fic sucks. why am i reading this AGAIN.

“I have faith in you, Glynda. But there are terrible things that can be done to a person even without killing them.”

👈😢👈

we’ve popped the first sad fingerguns but also What The Literal Fuck, Oz,

“Come and catch me, then.”  

im LAUGHING this is much better than the first version because this is SUCH a cinder-brand of shit to say dsfjhgfds she’s SUCH A SHIT-STIRRER but i love her,

“She’s just sent me something. My Scroll is working fine, but I think it’s safe to assume she knows what we’re discussing.”

“What did she send you?”

“An invitation.”

oh finally glynda works out the whole CCT business JHGDSFSDF i wonder if cinder knew shed figure it out or saw her msgs to oz and went ‘ah shit well’

BUT YEAH..... DATE! DATE! DATE! HOT DATE WITH CINDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am. VERY excited as many of u will remember i made a prime shitpost abt That Chap back in the day and ill have 2 REDRAW IT!!!!!!!!! POPPIN BOTTLES!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway this chapter sucked and was also very good in equal measure. as it is Wont,

[dailymikayuureminders]

Wait I’m so confused i just saw like two people talking about something about a head cannon of Yuu molesting Mika? I’ve never seen anything like that like you’ve said I’m just curious who started that up and why? I am pretty new here and Im just really confused really sorry if I’m being annoying or don’t want to talk about it i just didn’t know if this was some tumblr drama or what? Sorry again

Hi!

It’s pretty standard drama all around, yeah.

We all were freaking out over something that happened in 2016…

…okay I can’t even pretend to take that seriously, people. Bringing up discourse over ancient history has never been a good look for anyone. They did state that it was getting attention now, however, and yet despite dedicated efforts to track it down, it hasn’t surfaced. As of this moment there is no proof it exists. I’ve been in the fandom since 2015 and have seen it all, but this doesn’t ring any bells for me either.

However, the real problem is not “Yuu is a molester and/or pervert,” which is either an overblown exaggeration or doesn’t exist, but how this connects to expressions of sexuality in headcanons and fiction. We have no “X character is Y sexuality!” evidence to point to (as with most fictional characters), so it’s up to the imagination of the writer and how they want to fill in that dimension of a character’s life (from serious fanfic to more casual shitposts).

Unless you headcanon a character as being part of the ace spectrum, usually you want to address sexuality at some point. A character expressing their sexuality with another character consensually does not make them a molester—that seems obvious, right? A molester by definition is someone who sexually assaults or abuses someone, or more colloquially one who harasses someone in a persistent/aggressive manner.

It stands to reason that the consensual expression of sexual attraction towards someone else, then, is not a crime nor an act of molestation. What form that expression takes is individual to different characters and couples—and in the domain of fanfiction, where multiple authors handle the same characters, no one’s interpretation will be exactly the same. Which isn’t a bad thing! It gives everyone their own flair and helps fandom thrive.

OP themselves has written posts of Yuu wanting Mika to “destroy his ass” or Mika groping him in front of his squad, which is fine but, again, why criticize one thing and then like the other?

Even if OP said these were shitposts, the ones of Yuu looking at Mika’s ass were too. They should be taken under the same criteria.

If someone popular in the tumblr fandom was writing Yuu as an actual molester, I would have totally seen it. In fact neither I nor any of my friends saw it either! So this discourse can’t be about that.

Afterwards, OP acted as if the people who questioned where they saw the headcanon were defending the idea of Yuu molesting Mika or treating them unfairly “despite they were just talking about something important that was happening in the fandom”. When really it wasn’t happening. They never showed any proof and no one else saw anything.

No one said they enjoyed the idea of Yuu molesting Mika, and the part that is frustrating is that many people believed it and someone even wrote an “explanation” about how people want to ship ferimika but knowing it’s wrong they resort to write Yuu with Ferid’s personality, which never happened either! People are too quick to “defend Yuu” to realize no one is doing this in reality.

“But there are fics of Yuu raping Mika!”

Yeah, but I haven’t seen any in like two years and there are three times as many fics of Mika raping Yuu. Let’s not even talk about the doujins because I’m already grossed out.

Honestly, I think this problem is about something entirely different, based on something OP said:

“Making Yuu sound creepy and perverted and obsessed with Mika’s ass and nothing else is a little out of character for him.“

And I think that’s the origin. 

In truth, no one wrote Yuu as “obsessed with Mika’s ass and nothing else”, but there’s occasional posts of Yuu looking at Mika under a sexual light or wanting to touch him, so my guess is that this what bothered OP and brought such a dramatic issue.

How is looking at someone’s ass and raping them correlated?

I believe OP just brought the “people like the headcanon of Yuu molesting Mika” discourse to bring light upon something they didn’t like. They also said:

“Stop trying to make Yuu a sex-craved idiot. Since when has he ever desired sex?”

The idea of Yuu wanting Mika sexually is harmless and I fail to see the correlation with sexual assault.

The main reason I believe this is the case is because I didn’t find out about this discourse via that person’s blog.

I found out because I received an anon ask telling me “Yuu is like Ferid now, I see”. As you can imagine, I was quite startled, so I asked what they meant and someone sent me this:

Later on I was done with this discourse so I deleted both, but basically this is how I found out about the issue.

Clearly, I had no idea where it came from and started asking people for an explanation. Eventually, someone told me about a post they saw written by the one who originated this discourse and I understood.

Anon must have seen my old post I reblogged recently where Yuu said “only I can touch Mika like this” (in reference to Shinoa trying to touch fem!Mika) and, having read OP’s discourse of “people write Yuu as a pervert like Ferid” they decided to send me that…

But clearly my post was a funny scenario, and Yuu didn’t mean he can touch Mika without his consent but rather that only he can touch him, not Shinoa.

However, it shows the stretch of the discourse. Relating Yuu wanting to touch Mika with Yuu literally molesting him.

In conclusion: think critically about the things you read, fellas. This reminds me of 2016 when people said people were hating on Shinoa and everyone proceeded to write positivity posts about her and hating on the “haters”. However, if someone actually took the time to search for said hate, they’d find none. I was one of the dorks who believed the discourse, until one day I thought “hey, how come I saw nothing? I’m on this tag 24/7″. That’s when it hit me.