"It's settled, then", Bail announced. He had already pushed his chair back and stood up, when he noticed that Mon had not moved an inch. She was still sitting there, just looking at him, with a light frown on her face.
"What?" He asked. "Is something the matter?"
Mon hummed, thoughtfully.
"I think I should be the one asking that", she said. "Is everything alright?"
Bail frowned now, too.
"I'm not sure I follow", he told her.
Now Mon sighed loudly.
"Please don't try that with me", she said. "I have known you for a long time, Bail. I know you. I can see when something is bothering you."
Bail leveled her a look.
"I have my days", he said. "I am not always the paragon of kindness and softness. You should know that."
"I do know that", Mon said. "I know very well that when you are at work, you are very driven by that work. But here's the thing. I have both worked with you for years, and been your friend outside of work just as long. I know how you behave and how you operate, even during the most stressful situations. If you haven't forgotten, we were just in a Galaxy-wide war. The way you are behaving now, this abrasiveness, this tension you are bringing everywhere with you now? I saw you like that in the moments where the whole Galaxy was at the stake. For you to be like this, is just now 'one of those days'. It's not even one of those weeks. Yes, I have noticed. This has been going on for a while now."
Bail didn't turn his eyes away from her, and neither did she turn hers away from him.
It felt like a stand-off, all of a sudden, and the stupidity of it crept into Bail's mind. Mon was not his enemy. This was not the Senate floor, nor was this a negotiation for a freedom of an entire world.
No, this was his own office, with one of his closest friends sitting in front of him, expressing worry for him. Mon was not trying to extort him, she was only trying to help him.
He just didn't know what to tell her. He wasn't the one who was being wronged in any way, and instead was only taking his selfish guilt out on the people around him.
That didn't make him feel any better, either.
Mon's expression softened slightly, as the silence between them dragged on.
"You don't have to talk to me, if you do not want to", she said. "I am just letting you know that I am willing to listen. But, please, if it is something truly serious, do not keep it for yourself. If you won't talk to me, talk to Breha or Fox, at the very least. I know they wouldn't want you to go through something by yourself."
Bail noticed that he had grabbed the edge of his desk tightly, only when he started to feel said edge digging hard into his palm.
Breha and Fox were the last people he could talk to right now, as they were the ones who were being wronged, by Bail himself no less. He could not, would not burden them with himself any further than he already had.
Mon's face grew more concerned again.
"Is it about them?" She asked. "Are they alright?"
"Fox is pregnant", Bail said, before he could think about it too long to stop himself.
Mon paused, her mouth left slightly open.
"Oh", she said finally, blinking rapidly a few times. "Oh. I mean. Is this a place for congratulations?"
"It is", Bail admitted. It really was. Still, despite everything, it was one of the happiest things that had ever happened in his life. "It is very much a wanted thing."
Not in a way any of them would've perhaps expected or wished for it to happen, but a wanted thing nevertheless.
Mon smiled slightly.
"Congratulations, then", she said. "Is everything going well?"
"Yes", Bail nodded. "Both him and the baby are healthy. Breha is having the time of her life spoiling Fox."
"Of course she is", Mon smiled a bit more as she said that. "It's a good thing that one of you can be at home with Fox."
Bail smiled tightly at that. A bit too tightly, perhaps, as Mon seemed to immediately zero in on his expression.
"Is that what this is about?" She asked. "You being here?"
"Of course it is", Bail said. "What else? Breha and I agreed on not even trying to have our own biological children, both for her health, and for my inability to leave my work. That was the agreement with Fox as well. Now, we have one baby at home already, and a second one coming along soon, and I am still just as incapable of being at home, breaking every agreement and changing nothing."
Mon looked at him gently.
"You haven't broken any agreements", she said.
Bail let out a dry laugh.
"Fox didn't make that baby by himself", he pointed out.
"But it was a thing you all wanted", Mon said. "You said so yourself. Are they happy?"
Bail thought about it. The messages both Breha and Fox sent him every day, the pictures, the recordings, the holos of Even pushing himself up on his feet as he learned how to stand, of all the updates from every visit to the doctor. Of the recording of the baby's heartbeat, hearty and strong. Of the happy words and expressions in every single one of them, despite how tired they both were sometimes.
It was worth it, Breha and Fox had both said. Multiple times.
He nodded.
"Yes", he said.
Mon nodded as well, slowly, her eyes assessing him for a moment.
"Are you happy?" She asked then.
Bail paused.
He wanted to say yes. He wanted to say yes, immediately. Of course he was happy. Why wouldn't he be happy? Breha and Fox were both happy, of course he was-
Bail tried to say it. He wanted to say it.
He couldn't.
Mon waited, patiently, for him to say something. Bail wanted to say yes.
He just...he just couldn't. Not without it feeling like he was lying.
His eyes dropped down, to stare at his desk. He just couldn't look at Mon anymore, shame rolling thunderously inside of him.
He was happy. Of course he was.
He was happy.
He heard Mon stand up. Bail listened to her steps slowly coming towards him, and finally stopping right next to him.
Then her hand reached for his, at the one still gripping the edge of the desk, and she laid hers on top of it.
"Bail", Mon said. "You need to talk to someone."
Bail wanted to argue with her.
He couldn't.
He sighed, and nodded.
"Yes", he said. "I...I think I do."
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