#never ending season 8 frustration

[lesbianbatlucille]

seeing gifs for s11 and not having watched it is so fucking weird. why are they wearing suits.

[neil-gaiman]

Hello! Not a question, but I've seen a lot of people commenting/sending asks about GO season 2, so even though theres a very high chance this won't get seen, I wanted to let you know how happy it made me seeing 'the spouse' in the show. I'm non-binary, and while I do consume a lot of content with gay characters in it, it's very rare for me to see anyone under the trans umbrella. Then when I do, they're almost always a straightforward she/her or he/him kind of character, which is fine, considering they're getting represented at all, but it can be a bit frustrating. I never see anyone who's closer to my wavelength in terms of the whole gender thing

I know there's a lot of 'they's' in the show, but if I'm right, up until this person, most, if not all, of them have been either an angel, a demon, or a horseman of the apocalypse, and why would they have a solid binary view of gender? These characters did make me incredibly happy to see, but seeing a human character shown in the same light, so casually, like it was something completely normal that happens all the time, genuinely made my night (even if the rest of the season's ending did wreck me /lh)

Genuinely, it's about 8 hours later and I'm still thinking about this character. This is the first time I've seen someone like me represented in media, and to see it from a show I've been watching and adoring since it came out is incredible to me

This may not mean as much to other people, and it may not have felt like that big a thing to include, but I wanted you to know how much this truly touched my heart . I admire you and your work so much, and, i hope that your day/night is as lovely as you are

I'm really glad. I loved being able to ask Andrew to come in and play Mutt's spouse. (Also I loved the way it happened: I had no idea when I was writing Mutt whether the character would be male or female and so cheerfully wrote the spouse line to keep all our options open in casting Mutt. Once Mutt was cast, and was male, I realized that I'd grown rather fond of the "spouse", and liked the idea of casting someone who used "they" and could just be themself. This is Soho, after all.)

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Japan is Winning on Kisses & Other Alternate Realities

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

March 2024 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Two Worlds (Thurs IQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - It would be great if we got the alternative romance with dead Kram from Tai’s perspective (JBL style.) Still I like this show. It’s a little bit like I Feel You Linger in the Air only with a love triangle. And while I'm not a fan of triangles as a general rule, I don’t mind it here because the set up is clever. Wayu and  ao are fun sides too. It sure is moving very quickly, which I like. I’m not entirely sure what’s going on. But that’s normal for me with this kind of Thai drama. 

Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 4 of 8 - They are extremely sappy boyfriends. I love that mom has a secret gf. Could we please have more of them? The love triangle sides are ridiculous, but I do like that it’s all out in the open. I also like they are actually addressing the complicated parental dynamics of owning a sex club. Honestly, I think Khem should have to be a host too. Learn him the right way, girl!

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - It’s good, I like the fallout and them actually having to deal with crazy fans and past relationships. They’re so good at communicating it’s kind of a pleasure to watch them suffer through external pressures, because I have faith that they can make it through.

To Be Continued (Thai C3 Thailand grey) ep 6 of 8 - They are such cute puppy dads and so clearly meant to be together, the fact that they aren’t is just frustrating. The fight thing was stupid. And not a whole lot happened... plus singing. I’m getting fatigued with this one. 

1000 Years Old ep 7 of 12 - Did I miss something happening, or did nothing happen? 

Kiseki Chapter 2 (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 6 - It’s so boring, there’s so much guitar playing, and it got weirdly voyeuristic (in a very much not sexy way). I’m totally out. DNF

Close Friend Season 3: Soju Bomb! (Weds iQIYI) ep 3 of 6 - I can’t tell if this is trying to be a BL Romancing the Stone, or a BL Hangover, or both. The problem with situational comedy is it must be both situational and comedic, not just option one. The problem with calling something BL, is that it must be BL. This show got 1 of 3 claims correct. 33% is not a passing grade. DNF 

Honestly, it's the HANDS with these two. They do beautiful beautiful things with their hands. If you're one of those hands-obsessed BLabies you should be watching LIBTSTA!

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues Youku YouTube & Viki) ep 6 of 11 - So the worst finally happened. The mountain of pain has fallen down upon us. And now, hopefully in the second half things get better for our boys. But what a rough ride. Normally, this is not my style of BL, but everyone is doing such a gorgeous job with it, I can’t fault it… except that it hurts. The red thread symbolism was elegantly done. I’d like to hope we get a reunion in the next one, but knowing this style of series they’re gonna draw it out. There's gonna be a more pain first.

Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 4 of 6 - Those fuck me puppy dog eyes were perfectly executed. I would not have been able to resist either. Gosh they are so damn cute. This is a great show.

Jazz for Two (Korea Gaga/grey) eps 1-2 of 8 - This comes from the Shoulder to Cry On team so I'm scared, but this one is all actors* not idols so maybe they'll be braver. Boy howdy does it have a fantastic opening sequence. Also the lead is fucking adorable. Mr Broody McBroodypants is cute too. Korea sure loves “pretty but broken.” On the JBL end of the spectrum, is everyone in love with their siblings? That’s weird. The dining room scene was painful. All in all, it's good, I'm intrigued. Let's see how you go little show.

I stand absolutely corrected the lead is a member of NEWKIDD (in my defense I'd never heard of them until Build Up last month). I did recognize him from To My Star because at the time I thought he was too pretty to be only a side character.

AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) ep 10 fin - Again there was overuse of previous footage and maudlin navel-gazing grief over something we knew was going to happen. So I didn’t really feel much emotional connection to the drama. 7 year time gap.? t was a cute reunion but the moral quandary never really got resolved. I don’t know how to rate this, I’m not sure I will ever watch it again, so that is a big mark against it.

There’s nothing objectively wrong with this BL except how upsetting it is because of the foundational pygmalion story - grown man falls in love with an android who is basically both his slave and, by maturity level, a child. Yet that premise is crystal clear from the get go, so we watch it eyes open. The actors are cute, the romance sweet, the physical chemistry on point (of course, it’s Taiwan) and yet I was left ultimately unsettled by the concept, content, and plot. 7/10 

My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 7 of 8 - I'm so ready for this to be over, and for Gaga to have something good on. Soon please?

It's done, ready to binge, but I suck

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps

It's airing but...

Graduation Countdown (Taiwan YouTube) - It's too much to ask me to keep up with 2 minute verticals, I don't have that kind of TikTok endurance training. Waiting to binge.

A Secretly Love (Thai Sat WeTV grey) 10 eps - I watched the first ep but grey is too much work for this inferior of a show. I may pick up and binge if it gets distribution but for now, it gets a DNF from me. KimCop might have held this crap together but Kim without Cop? No thank you.

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

Tangential to the genre

There has been the occasional discussion on this topic here in this little corner of tumblr so I thought there might be a few intersted in this podcast: AmericanThaiGuy Ron Weaver on the Complicated Issue of Racism in Thailand (The Bangkok Podcast)

Thailand passed its Marriage Equality bill through the lower house. It's expected to pass the high house and get signed by the King, but that hasn't quite happened yet.

And MaxTul dropped a photo shoot.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting Soon

3/31 Only Boo! (Thai GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - New main couple for GMMTV in an idol romance about a boy who dances good and a food stand vendor. Other side of the tracks grumpy/sunshine pair who fall deeply in love but, of course, baby boy idol can't date. Boyband but from GMMTV? Control your singing and I'm game.

3/31 The Next Prince (Thai ????) 12 eps - trailer. ZeeNew in a fantasy/historical set in a palace where Zee plays a knight and Nu a prince - YES PLEASE. (Apparently this is just the pilot, not the start of the actual show, see comments.)

4/1 Love is like a Cat (Korea ????) 12 eps - This completed filming Aug 2022(!) which means there have been serious problems with post-production. This is another of Silkwood's Korean+Thai colab projects. Mew Suppasit plays a rookie film star, called the Cat Prince (for his cold arrogance) who goes up against a charismatic puppyish animal daycare director (JM of JUST B). There is a side romance (love triangle?) with a veterinarian. Geonu of JUST B is also in the cast. Dual languages.

Hum, trash-watch-a-licious?

4/3 We Are (Thai GMMTV YouTube iQIYI) 12 eps - University ensemble BL featuring PondPhuwin, WinnySatang, AouBoom, MarcPawinPoon - basically the good kind of messy gay friendship group (so more My Engineer and less Only Friends). Looks a bit like the Kiss series but everyone is queer. I'm IN!

4/11 Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan ????) 10 eps - Kindly Ryota goes off to uni only to find his new roommate is his childhood bestie, Kazuhito. Kazuhito doesn’t have a girlfriend and Ryota tries to help him figure out why, they fall in love along the way. Same director as Old Fashion Cupcake.

4/11 Gray Shelter AKA Gray Currents (Korea ????) 4 eps - SooHyuk is only just surviving and reunites with YoonDae, an old friend. They end up living together. One of the leads is played by Choco of Choco Milk Shake.

4/18 At 25:00, in Alaska AKA 25 Ji, Akasaka de (Japan Gaga - may not be global) 10 eps - Yuki lands his first starring role in a BL drama alongside superstar Asami (previously his senior at uni). Said superstar suggests they form a sham relationship until filming concludes. As they actually begin to fall in love, the spotlight begins to burn.

Seriously? You're killing me with these titles, boys.

4/26 My Stand-In (Thai iQIYI) 12 eps - adaptation of Chinese novel "Professional Body Double" by Shui Qiang Cheng. Stars Up (Lovely Writer) and Poom (Bake Me Please) directed by the same team as KP (not a recommendation IMHO - my biggest criticism of that show was the clashing directing styles). This one looks well complicated, lemme try: Joe is a stuntman for famous actor Tong. Joe falls in love with Ming but Ming sees Joe as nothing more than a Tong-replacement. After learning this horrible truth, Joe dies. Joe then wakes up in the body of another man also named Joe. He manages to rebuild the same life as before—with the same people eventually re-meeting Ming. Ming wants Joe back but Joe doesn't understand why. But Ming seems to know what's going on and wants to give him some kind of explanation.

I'm exhausted just trying to describe the plot.

Knock-Knock Boys (Thai WeTV) - 4 college friends conspire to help their friend lose his virginity. Familiar faces like Seng (yes, Billy's previous partner) and Best, news here.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

NOTE: It looks like one of my personal favorites of last year Unintentional Love Story is getting a spin off!

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Just these two, in my head, rent free. Thanks Japan!

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are too much work.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy. (With so many tags when does a weekly tumblr post become a newsletter? That is this week's philosophical question...)

[reallywitchycat]

I hate Sir Phillip Crane

So with season 3 of Bridgerton show released on Netflix I do see lots of disclosure about Eloise and her potential endgame. I see people shipping her with Theo, I see people shipping her with Cressida and I see people insisting she will end up with Sir Phillip Crane, because he is just best and he was already in season 1 and season 2. So let me just say, I would HATE if Eloise ends up with Sir Phillip because I hate Sir Phillip with passion.

First, let's start with fact that almost ALL men in Bridgerton books are toxic, misogynist and sometimes straight up abusive. But Sir Phillip Crane is worst of them all. He truly have no redeeming qualities. There are my reasons:

1.) He is horrible husband to Marina.

Yes, I am aware he did not marry her for love, but because his father forced him. BUT that is NOT excuse for his behaviour towards her! Phillip is dismissive of Marina's mental illness. And yes, in Regency period there was very little awareness of how to PROPERLY treat mental illnesses. Still, it frustrates me that he made Marina's mental illness all about himself. HE is one who have to take responsibility for his own children. (How horrible) HE is one who have to live in celibacy because his wife felt too sick to have sex. (I would rather not talk about marital rape that happened here, because it makes me sick). Not one word about how bad that situation was for Marina. Almost as he had no empathy for her.

2.) He is horrible father.

I don't want to go too hard on him here. He did have very abusive childhood. And this is ONE instance where his childhood trauma would work as sort of excuse. BUT! In book he IS biological father of twins. (And don't let anybody told you otherwise. If book Phillip is not meant to be biological father, book would be very clear about that. JQ always tell you such things very clearly). So basically. He was aware that he had no idea how to be good father and yet, with his free will, he decide to have children. And THEN complain about them ALL the time.

3.) He is horrible husband to Eloise.

ONLY reason he wants to have wife is to have someone who will take care of his children while he is playing in his greenhouse. Basically he is looking for babysitter who he can bang. He DIDN'T TELL Eloise about that! He DIDN'T TELL her about fact he has children!!! And once they got married, that is exactly how it works! ALL childcare land on Eloise of course. And Phillip gets almost angry when Eloise wanted to have an serious conversation instead of sex. Like he tells her he did not have sex in 8 years and so she is supposed to fell sorry for him and shut up ?! Worst thing is HE don't change at the end of the book! He gets to play with his plants in greenhouse and she gets … what ? sex ? … Like I don't understand WHAT they have in common.

In conclusion. Book Eloise deserves better. And show Eloise would never ever put up with him! To make show Phillip appealing love interest they would have to completely change his story and personality. At that point they could very easily go with someone completely different.

[sampegger]

certain deangirls just frustrate me so bad. like. the ones who insist with their entire chest that dean loves sam more than sam loves him. even just talking early seasons. to see sam leaving for stanford as a betrayal to dean and proof that he loves him less is so. him leaving for college wasn't about dean. it was about wanting something better for himself than what hunting had to offer. him being able to want something more for himself than what he had with dean and john is not a betrayal. to claim that sams ability to endure misery is directly correlated with how much he loves someone is cruel and a terrible perspective to have on any relationship.

and in season 4, to claim that he chose a demon over his own brother while in the midst of having an active addiction problem, and to take that and make it about his loyalty to DEAN is so. that is so biased and evil. you should not see sams violation of his own autonomy as a betrayal to dean. i know the show likes to think they do in the later seasons but the choices sam makes do not all have to center around dean, and that still doesn't mean he loves him any less! viewing it through that type of lens will certainly make it look like he does, but that is objectively the wrong way to interpret any of sams arcs.

when it comes to season 8 i'll say a lot of the same stuff i said about sam leaving for stanford in the first place. while yes i do think him not looking for dean was slightly out of character, it is still unbelievably cruel to think of sams ability to endure pain and claim it marks the level of which he loves someone. especially when he takes on the trials this season, and the entire narrative thrown on sam is his newfound notion that pain purges sin. to have that level of misery thrown in your face (these trials are purifying me) and still insist that if sam is actively fighting against something that is making him miserable (staying in hunting) it's proof he never loved dean that much anyways is awful!!! and that whole "non-agreement" line in which bobby says that he and dean promising not to look for each other was just something that was said and it should've been obvious he was meant to look for dean. don't even get me started.

season 9 is the last season that i think people use as evidence for this. sams claim that he "wouldn't do the same thing for dean." and really. i guess i don't expect dean letting gadreel possess sam to be seen in any other light at this point. sam said he wouldn't have done the same thing for dean because he literally wouldn't have!!! there is nothing that can properly convey the absolute level of violation that that was, especially when sams entire storyline is about his struggle for autonomy. it was a selfish decision on deans end, as is most of the way that he loves sam. it is just so frustrating to see this arcs that revolve specifically around sam turned into evidence of how much he does or doesn't love dean, because that is literally the opposite of what they're about.

i could move onto later seasons as well and talk about how dean is outwardly abusive in them, but that would just be dean slander and that's not what i'm trying to do. the entire point of this post is that tying all of sams decisions to how much he loves dean is wrong and you fundamentally miss the entire point of sam as a character if you view the story through that lens.

sam's ability to endure misery is not directly correlated with his ability to love.

[mulderscully]

i've been really nostalgic about the x files revival lately. not necessarily the show itself, though it was a gift as a younger fan to watch xf live, but the fandom experience we had. i miss david and gillian. i miss the fun we had, i miss their banter and them egging us on about it which made it feel much less taboo than this sort of thing usually feels. i miss david apologizing for his behavior during the original run, i love feeling his genuine love for the show, for the fans and his respect for gillian as an actor. i miss gillian being on tumblr, i miss chewiesgirlfriend, i miss making fun of the revival wig here and her seeing that and getting the wig changed bc she knew were right.

and i miss the hope of what the show could have been, the hope for a better ending.

and bc of this i'm looking back on the numbers, the ratings on the revival and like... this is not something i am imagining as bigger than it was. 24 MILLION PEOPLE tuned in LIVE in 2016 to the premiere. this is the highest numbers fox had been in AGES, it's one of the most viewed x-files episodes ever.

the public never fell out of love with the x-files.

now, after the premiere ratings did drop, but they remained insanely high for a fox show in 2016. s10 stood at a proud 8-10 million viewers a week til the season finale.

s10 is not what pissed people off until the finale.

when s11 premiered it premiered to a 62% decrease in viewership, which only decreased even more after the god awful csm "plot twist."

and what i find the most frustrating about this is that season 11 is good. "this" has an approval rating of 97% among critics and was recieved positively by pretty much the entire fandom. but by then people felt so betrayed that they had stopped watching.

and it just makes me sad because when people think of the revival they think of how chris carter fumbled the bag with the mythology, understandably, but often forget the fun we had, how special an event it all was and how there are genuinely fabtastic episodes in there with some of david and gillian's best performances maybe ever.

[eddiediazismyhusband]

just a caual reminder that eddie does not need to kiss, date, or sleep with anyone other than buck to make his queerness any more valid

queer characters don’t need to hookup a bunch of times and date around before settling down because queer people irl don’t have to do that either

there are other ways a character can “let loose” and blow off steam than just throwing them into a hookup plotline, and doing so with eddie would just rehash the buck 1.0 plotline and would be lazy writing

not to mention it being yet another roadblock for buddie canon

like ik it can be frustrating to see the writers refusing to give eddie any care within the story and giving him some sort of happy arc, but that doesn’t mean that the only way he can be happy is by simply dating a man… just like how bt isnt narratively satisfying, eddie dating a random man isn’t going to be narratively satisfying either… i want queer eddie as much as the next person and honestly, if it had been a few seasons ago maybe i wouldn’t be as apprehensive to this kind of arc, but this show isn’t going to last forever… i don’t want them to keep dragging buddie out convoluting the plot by bringing in more li’s for both of them just because the fans are “okay with stepping stone relationships”

we’re entering season 8. we’re entering the 7th year of buddie being a ship. we don’t have time nor need for stepping stone relationships anymore. i know that jealousy and mutual pining arcs are enjoyable, but atp anything prolonging them getting together is just risking us never getting buddie… i don’t want a repeat of s6 where they wind up with shit engame li’s bc they wasted too much damn time dragging their feet and giving them these rando love interests

we also run the risk of fans jumping ship again if eddie were to get a male li that isn’t buck because there are so many people out there who (like w bt) just wanna see eddie kiss a man and once they get that, they’ll ditch the buddie ship, and we’ll once again find ourselves struggling to stay afloat

yes ik this show is a drama, ik slowburns thrive off drama, but this slowburn has been building since s3 (arguably s2 for some of us) it has been beyond enough time for them to keep it a slowburn; they need to actually go through with it now rather than continuing to bait us bc Ryan and Oliver both deserve better storylines to play than that.

i am obviously trying to remain cautious and will not trust the writers to handle things well until they do, but it doesn’t help our cause to be suggesting storylines this late in the game that will only serve to convolute the plot even more than it already is at this point. these tropes are amazing in fics that have no set end date, but 9-1-1 as a show is not going to run forever— we don’t even know if we are even going to get a 9th season yet. This could very well be our last opportunity to get buddie canon, and cheering on plotlines that would push buddie canon even further back on the roster is only going to dilute our chances even more.

i say this with love, not with spite, but i have seen a lot of people wishing for/posting about how they hope to see these storylines play out and i’m here to say we are not in a position for any of these anymore, and that’s just the unfortunate reality of a show entering its 8th season in a television environment where shows are lucky to get past 2 or 3 seasons.

[lemotmo]

I'm sorry but I need to talk more about some general finale and Buddie stuff:

What was the point of wasting precious episode time to show some random neighbour walking around in the burnt down house?

Where was councilwoman Ortiz in this episode?

Why didn't Buck just show Tommy the door after that strange daddy kink thing? I rewatched it and... he really did say that he hopes Buck has daddy issues, right? To feed his kink. And I'm just... WHAT? I did read that right... right? I'm sorry, but what?

It did the job to highlight that Tommy is older than Buck and might have other expectations from this relationship. So at least there is that.

But still though... KRISTEN WHAT DRUGS ARE YOU ON? This is over the top, even for you.

Oliver Stark, why haven't you posted anything yet on social media? Is it just me or is Oliver genuinly not happy about his storyline right now? I don't know. He was so happy with Buck coming out as bi, never really talking about Tommy as more of a vehicle for his character to come out, talking about him as a 'mentor'. Now, his potentially beautiful storyline has amounted to this? Twenty minutes of boring scenes that end in a sexual innuendo joke?

I hope he is holding out for season 8, like the rest of us. He knows a lot more about this storyline than we do. If he is aware that BT is a means to an end to get the Buck narrative he wants and deserves, he will stick with it I'm sure. But it has to be annoying to know the destination and being stuck in a drab place on the way to that destination. Thank God he has shown us time and time again that he knows exactly where Buck's heart and interests lie.

It's also very telling there are no Oliver interviews after this finale. He didn't have much to work with this episode. The only scenes that made him liven up were with Eddie and Chris. The rest was uninteresting. There is no promo at all. No interview with Oliver and Lou showcasing them together as the new 'it' couple on 911, hyping them up, telling the audience excitedly where BT is going in season 8.

Watch them break up over the hiatus, just like Bucktalia. I really think it could happen at this point. I wouldn't be surprised at all. Keep Tommy there as a friend and mentor.

However, I have now read some of those Ryan interviews and WOW! Some of those Ryan quotes keep me going when it comes to the Buddie narrative. He is using a lot of gender neutral pronouns to talk about his possible future partner. The way he is talking about that future partner, makes me think he already has someone specific in mind for that role. Highly interesting.

I was talking about all of this to @buddiebeginz and she highlighted this specific part of a Ryan interview:

I mean, that last part? "The partner that's meant for me will find themselves and find me at the same time." That is so Buck-coded. I mean, if anything, this episode highlighted that Buck is still on that hamster wheel with this slightly older guy who is very much into sex, but not into feelings. Buck wants romance and genuine love. We know this because that's what he has been looking for throughout the last seasons. He still hasnt found himself, so as soon as he does, he will finally figure it out and find Eddie at the same time.

It's the only narrative that makes sense and would be satisfying to watch for Buck and Eddie. Let's just hope the show is smart enough to develop it further.

I just... overall this episode frustrated me so much. I feel like I want to hit something! I was ready to be swept away by great narratives and emotions. But I'm left feeling very unsatisfied about all of this. I feel like the season isn't done yet. I need one more episode to tie this all up and I know that I won't get it. AAAAH! I'm so annoyed.

[captain-hen]

[Image Description: 8 gifs from 9-1-1, season 5, of Eddie Diaz Gif 1: From episode 2, Desperate Times, Buck has just said to Eddie, “That’s not the way you talk about someone you’re in love with.” Eddie replies, frustrated, “My kid loves her.” The shot shifts to Buck, who retorts, looking angry, “Is that enough?” Gif 2: From episode 3, Desperate Measures, a shot of Eddie leaning against the fridge, Ana’s silhouette in the periphery of the shot. Eddie looks guilty as he admits, “I thought it would work. I did. The idea of us. Chris loves you so much, I just thought...” The shot shifts to Ana, with tears in her eyes as she finishes, “Eventually you would, too?” Gif 3: From episode 6, Brawl In Cell Block 9-1-1, in the ambulance with Mitchell, who has just said about his son, “He’s not like that, though, he’s a good kid. Nothing like me.”, Eddie replies, “So you think saving him, what, redeems you?” Mitchell admits, “Me dying and him living would maybe make the world a better place.” Gif 4: From episode 10, Wrapped in Red, a shot of Eddie with tears in his eyes. Carla has just said, “I know that your job is important. Not just to the people you save, but to you.” Eddie replies, “But is it more important than my kid feeling safe when he closes his eyes at night?” Gif 5: From episode 11, Outside Looking In, Chris and Eddie are talking at night in the kitchen, Chris has just asked Eddie why he quit firefighting. Eddie replies, “I thought you wanted me to stop.” The shot shifts to Chris, who replies firmly, “I never said that.” Gif 6: From episode 13, Fear-O-Phobia, Eddie is listening pensively to Frank after Frank said that he knows that Eddie worries about Chris’ well bell-being, and Eddie asks if that’s a bad thing now, Frank goes on to say, “Not at all. I just wonder if you worry about your own well-being.” Gif 7: From episode 14, Dumb Luck, after Chris asks Eddie if he’s one of the things that makes him sad, Eddie hugs Chris tight and holds him with a conflicted and sad look on his face as he replies, “Never.” Gif 8: From episode 17, Hero Complex, with tears in his eyes, Eddie responds to his father asking if he’s gonna be better for Christopher’s sake by shaking his head and saying, “For myself.” /End ID]

[buckevantommy]

What fic tropes do you most want to see for bucktommy?

big fan of hurt/comfort and some angst, which i think we will get.

i want them to be settled in their relationship and be solid and be each other's home, and then comes the angst, but not in a way that threatens their relationship, more like: one of them gets hurt on the job for physical hurt/comfort - i would love to see tommy get hurt actually, and buck stays at his place to take care of him; proof that this capable brickhouse of a guy is not invincible. and he struggles to let himself be taken care of, and evan helps him realise that he has people who care about him - not just buck; maybe eddie visits! chim! hen! he's been on his own for so long he's quite self sufficient but buck isn't having it; this allows for some first fight potential, where tommy insists he can do it himself (bc he doesn't want to be a burden or seem weak) and buck being frustrated and a little hurt that tommy doesn't want him in his space or want his help, which makes buck feel like he's being too much and caring too much.. but they work it out! but maybe before they do we get chim/hen/eddie paying tommy a visit to check on him but moreover spend time with him and also talk things out a bit; tommy realising it's okay to let people in (chim would be perfect for this callback).

and tommy dealing with his asshole father for some emotional hurt/comfort - i just really want to see a less coolcalmcollected tommy, and i think buck seeing that and being there for him and tommy realising he has someone to lean on will strengthen their relationship.

and early season 8 with gerrard in charge is perfect for some emotional support and understanding: tommy being there for buck as he vents. and tommy confronting gerrard (not just about his treatment of evan and the 118 but about who he is and how he does not deserve to be a captain at all) which doesn't go well and brings up a lot of issues for tommy (his past self, his father and upbringing, etc) and results in him being riled and losing some of that cool calm composure buck is so used to - maybe we get buck finding tommy at the gym, or tommy and eddie doing muay thai because tommy needs the release. and eventually we get buck calming him down or tommy running out of steam and breaking down a little.

(this is all very tommy-centric i know, i just want more of him! more screentime! more emotional variation! more character and relationship growth!)

and as much as i want them to be a solid couple, i want there to be moments of uncertainty: jealous buck when he sees tommy is friendly with one of his exes or sees a guy flirting with tommy. tommy being so sure about a future with evan -has never been more sure of anyone in his life- but holding himself back because he doesn't want to move too fast for both their sakes - but he opens up by the end of the ep and it culminates in him asking evan to move in with him.

open and honest communication is integral to their relationship so i don't really want to see any secret keeping, but i could see one of them keeping a secret about the gerrard/ortiz drama to spare the other one worry or to keep them out of the crosshairs. but it won't be a lingering issue, preferably sorted in an ep or two.

also just: gimme friendship for tommy! gimme tommy and chim and hen and eddie hanging out (separately or together) because we know they're friends. gimme tommy and karen, tommy and maddie brunch dates - with jee! gimme tommy babysitting jee and the others! would also love to see some of tommy's coworkers and friends. basically let tommy have some platonic relationships because it's important to show he has a place in the 118 extended family even when evan isn't in the mix, and that he has a life outside the 118 too.

since tommy is a first responder i think it's a safe bet we'll see him working with the 118 at some point - lafd is linked from the streets to the skies - maybe buck doing a rope rescue out of the chopper or tommy rescuing buck and some civilians from a cliffside or highrise. maybe the 118 responding to a chopper crash. so many scenarios they could give us, and i want tommy working with the rest of the 118, too.

[subwaytostardew]

▽ Subway to Stardew - Adoptable Joltik ⚡️

This would play after Emmet's 8 heart event and getting Joltik up to 8 hearts as well.

I released a separate mod specifically for adopting Joltik, so you only need to get them up to 8 hearts to adopt them! You can do it right now!

Adoptable Joltik Mod Link: https://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/21002

And of course... Commentary under the read-more.

Joltik's adoption event sat in the drafts for quite a while. It took me whole a day to implement and I didn't let myself sleep until I finished everything. (It's 1 PM now...)

The event ended up wildly different because of how extra custom pets are implemented. You would think that they would be added in the same way as you get your cat/dog that you select during character creation. No. You have to buy a license. Only Marnie is authorized to sell them.

Here's the original script for Joltik's adoption event:

[Joltik Adoption Event]

Emmet: @! Joltik likes you verrrrry much. They want to stay with you. I'm letting you adopt them. Yup. I filled out all the paperwork. The Joltiks are legally documented now. 

I never gave ours a name... Galvantula wouldn't let me. She is verrrry picky about it. But that's okay. Joltik is yours. You should name them. She came along for approval. So. What name should I put on the adoption form?

[Name input box like Marnie's adoption thing...]

[Galvantula pauses for a moment to think and then offhandedly agrees.]

Emmet: Galvantula didn't shock me for that. That name is okay. Yup. I will file that with the Ferngill Republic. Don't worry about it. Make sure you take verrrry good care of our little Joltik!

[Joltik jumps and heart emotes]

◇──◆──◇──◆

The whole naming portion was a source of much more frustration than it should have been. In events, the name input box is brought up by the "catQuestion" command (which applies to dogs chosen at the start, too...

If you refuse, then Marnie also shows up no matter what you do. Farmhouse positions are also tricky and made even harder to find reference for after 1.6 added the farmhouse being moveable. Joltik kept spawning where Emmet was supposed to be so I had to use a move command just to get them to spawn one tile to the side. Galvantula was fine. I didn't get to updating her vanilla portraits yet so she's staying quiet.

The catQuestion command also only adds the pet you pick during character creation. There's no fields to target the usage. You have to buy a license. It's the only way to get another pet. I didn't want Joltik to replace a cat either since in-story you would have to earn the trust of both Emmet and Galvantula... There's no way you can do that by the first 25 days of spring. It's immersion breaking and you lose a cat.

I did find the license aspect funny though. It was oddly fitting for the mod's lore of Pokemon being pretty much banned from the region. Emmet is a threat to Stardew Valley's ecosystem. Not the best guy for the task of combating anti-Pokemon xenophobia.

Pet sizes are apparently hardcoded so I had to make a new spritesheet for Joltik as if they even need a 32 x 32 pixel area per frame. I did end up making new sprites for them while I was at it. I tried to base it off of the cat's behaviors so I have less animation fields to edit (I was tired). The cat loafs a lot. Trying to convey that in a tiny spider posed quite the challenge.

After everything was done, I figured that the whole adoption portion of the mod could easilly be taken apart to be its own mod as a demo of sorts for the expansion. So I went and made a content pack to post.

Bringing up your starter pet's friendship level takes quite some time, so it would be awkward if I let the event play with no preconditions. Because of that, I ended up including Joltik as an NPC and locking their adoption behind their heart level.

We actually only had two lines per day of the week (not including season) for daily dialogue. That shot up to six lines per day of the week for a full 0-2-4-6-8-10 in spring because I was determined to publish a mod. (I've been modding for nearly a year nonstop and I don't have anything playable... humiliating...)

Anyways! I hope you're all having fun with 1.6! It certainly brought new challenges and opportunities to the modding scene!

▷ Station Steward Thylak

[sgiandubh]

Your answer earlier today mentioned the fandom was bored and cantankerous and it actually seems like the series ended when 7a did: no fan engagement, no details about the second half of the season, no trailer, no interest from the actors and on and on it goes. It's like it's over but there was no closure so people are basically being jerks (more than usual) because they are at loose ends.

Dear Loose Ends Anon,

While I globally agree with your assessment of the situation, I think there's no possible excuse for a bunch of supposedly adult women to act like an overexcited high-school clique, and then some more. There is no possible excuse for the borderline obsessive preoccupation regarding the whereabouts of a perfect stranger, even if that man was 'very lucky, very blessed' to be cast as JAMMF. There is no possible excuse for knowingly ventilating fake homosexuality rumors, based on proven & deliberate 'evidence' planting on Wikipedia and/or some laughable rants on an obscure American gay forum. And there certainly is no possible excuse for the pervasive hypocrisy amongst the 'Best Fans Ever'.

All the above are WRONG. So no, no excuses, as far as I am concerned.

Add to this a narcissistic writer, who either does not want or is unable to properly manage the most difficult part of any project - its end. A greedy TV network (***) facing financial turbulence and willing to milk the OL franchise until the last drop - BOMB and the Stalinist paranoia surrounding its cast is evidence enough. Two leads who simply try to exist beyond this crushing pressure and who, somehow, will always be found wanting.

By the same logic, there might never be a closure, since I already could bet the farm, Bebe the dog, Zorba the car and all the rest of my worldly possessions that the last episode of Season 8 will be just the start of thunderous and frustrated wailings, all over the world. Hell, depending on its solvability, *** might even consider a Downton Abbey type marketing strategy, finally catching up with madame Gabaldon's turtle sprint. And churning out at least two or three motion pictures based on the inextricable Book 9 (and of course, 10) gibberish.

The only silver lining in all this disaster is that, after all, this is but a storm in a teacup. Consider the scale, Anon - it should be optimistically sobering.

[somanyratsinthewalls]

Burning Hearts Chapter 11

Pairing: Law x Straw Hat Zoan Type (named) OC 

Summary: You were teleported across the globe in an instant, away from your crew. Your body was badly broken and beaten, thrust into the harsh landscape of a Northern island. You are discovered by the Heart Pirates and brought back to health. Startled upon waking up in a foreign place with an unfamiliar crew, you are shocked with the news that you’ll be spending two years there. Trafalgar Law, the captain of the Heart Pirates has made a promise to train you, but will it become something more than a mentor relationship?

WC: 3000

Taglist: @cottoncandyloverrrr @zoros-fourth-sword @nothing-but-brass

Burning Hearts Chapter 11: Coffee Break

— — 

Law was a creature of habit. Your training begun every morning, Monday through Saturday, at 8 AM sharp in the clearing in the forest. It would end promptly at noon and the two of you would return to the base together for lunch. Law didn’t wear a watch, he was so meticulous that he could run his daily routine in his sleep. 

The opposite of how you were. Your body was finally used to having a strict wake up time, but even then Ikkaku would often have to bust through your door and hoist you out of bed when you were feeling extra lazy. You missed your life on the Sunny with your friends, there was organized chaos every day. You could roll out of bed at 6 AM or noon, Sanji would make your favorite breakfast anyway. You could spend your days sparring with Zoro, doing makeup with Robin, or playing Go-Fish with Chopper… no one breathing down your neck about what to do and when…

“Why can Bepo talk?” You ask, trailing behind Law on your way back from training. It was a few days after your confrontation with him on the submarine and you had continued your training without addressing it again. 

“What?” Law replies. 

“He’s a bear… but he’s also like… a person? I’ve seen him swim so obviously it’s not a devil fruit situation…” 

“You’ve never seen a mink?”

“A who now?”

“A mink? The people from Zou?”

“Nope.” 

Law sighs. 

“They’re a race of bipedal animal beings. History says humans evolved from them, we just became less hairy.”

“So everyone there is a polar bear?” You cock your head. 

Law sighs again, frustrated. 

“No. They’re all different mammals. How have you not heard of this? I thought you said your doctor was deer?”

“A reindeer. And no, Chopper’s a real reindeer, he just ate the Human-Human fruit.” You respond. 

“Hmm… Interesting.” 

Several more minutes pass with no sounds except the squelching of your boots in the mud underneath you as you made you way back to compound. Law glances back at you. 

“So… ah..” Law begins, uncomfortably. “Do you like to have coffee?”

You furrow your brow. 

“Like… in general? Do I enjoy coffee?” You respond, confused. 

“No, shit, I mean like…” Law stumbles over his words. This was very much not like the composed, mysterious pirate captain you trained with. “What I mean is, do you want to have a coffee later? In my office.”

Those last words almost looked like they pained him to get out. 

You raised your eyebrows in surprise. 

“Oh! Well I…” You begin. 

“I got some books when we went to town the other day, I want to show you a few things from them. It might help with developing your devil fruit ability.” Law quickly interrupts. 

“Right, well… it’s tomato season so I’ve got a bunch of work to do in the garden, then I’ve got kitchen duty for dinner… but if you can put one of the guys on dishes I think I can stop by afterwards.” 

“I can do that.” 

— — 

“Daisyyyy! Shachi is hogging the sandwiches!” 

You spin around with a grilled cheese in your mouth. 

“Shachi if you don’t let that plate go I’m going to set you on fire!”

“Jeez, okay mom.” Shachi rolls his eyes and passes the plate of sandwiches to Penguin.

You wolf down the rest of your dinner and pour a hefty bowl of soup to set on a little tray. You place a spoon and a napkin on the tray. You ball up the dishtowel on your shoulder in your hands and throw it at Shachi’s head. 

“Your greedy ass is on dish duty tonight, I have a meeting.” 

“Oh a meeting?” Ikkaku raises an eyebrow over her bowl of soup. 

“Yes a meeting to make sure your captain doesn’t die of scurvy and malnutrition. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” You push out of the galley with the tray of soup and head to Law’s office. 

Upon reaching his door, you knock with your heel due to your hands being full. The door cracks open with some unseen force… oh yeah.. the room thing…

“Supper’s on!” You smile while pushing the door open with your shoulder. You see Law at his desk with stacks of old, coverless tomes surrounding him. The books had notes crudely shoved into certain pages. He looks up from the text briefly to beckon you into his office further. You set the bowl of soup and a spoon in front of Law on his desk after folding up the book he was actively reading. 

“Eat. You’re borderline skeletal.” You meet his eyes then nod towards the food. 

Law hums and picks up the bowl.

“Its tomato and egg soup, I grew the tomatoes myself and I added some white pepper and ginger. Tell me if you think it’s-“

Law gulped down the entire bowl in a few seconds and wiped his mouth with his hand. He placed the empty bowl back down on his desk. You raised your brow in surprise. 

“Gods when was the last time you ate?”

“Hmm… yesterday?” Law grabs one of the books from his many stacks and opens to a marked page. 

“These are texts on medieval creatures. It’s not devil fruits, but it might help us figure out what you’re capable of. If you look here- wait. I promised you coffee, didn’t I?”

You smile a little. 

“That you did.” 

“Well, excuse me then.” Law stands, shut the book and moves towards his coffee maker in the corner of his office. 

As Law fiddles with his espresso machine, you take the time to get a good look around the room. You had barely spent any time in here so you wanted to see what Trafalgar Law, Surgeon of Death keeps in his safe space. It was bookshelves, mostly. The antique wood of the bookcases and the worn leather and suede of the furniture was sure a stark contrast to the cold steel flooring and walls. Everything was meticulously clean and organized, except there were tiny little human touches that didn’t go unnoticed by your. His wastebasket was full of empty shrimp-chip bags, crushed energy drink cans, and salt water taffy wrappers. This must be what he lives on when you don’t force him to eat. 

“For a doctor,  your diet sucks.” You chuckle as Law returns to the desk with two cups of coffee in hand. He hands you one and sits back down in his desk chair. He smirks. 

“I forget about food.” 

“That’s insane.”

“Is it?”

“Food is… so important! It fuels your body! Your brain! You can’t live off caffeine and carbs… but I think you know that, doc.”

Law rolls his eyes. “Thank you for the soup.” He opens a drawer in his desk and roots around before pulling out a small bottle of whiskey. He pours a shot or two into his coffee before handing you the bottle. 

“Is this a good idea, after what happened the last time we drank together, Mr Trafalgar?” You smile cheekily at him before grabbing the bottle and pouring some into your cup of coffee. 

Law blushes. Oh gods you had never seen him blush before. He was quite adorable when he was flustered… 

Law makes a hand gesture as if it say “shut up” and cracks his book open again. 

“A wyvern is much like a traditional dragon… scales, breathing fire, long tail, but the difference, as you know would be the wings. It’s clear you’ve harnessed quite a few of these attributes, but you’ve failed to unlock your full Zoan form. I think if you look at these pictures and notes, you might find some information that might help you.”

You look down at the dusty page. It was filled with vicious, fire breathing dragons ripping the heads off unsuspecting villagers. 

“I…. I don’t know if I was to be just like… that…” You point down at the page. 

“Of course not. That’s why you need to learn to control yourself and your abilities before you assume your final form and-“ 

“So I have to stop accidentally burning your eyebrows off?” You interject.

“That would be appreciated, yes.” Law responds, playfully annoyed. “Once you can burn my eyebrows off on purpose, we can move forward.” 

You snort-laugh into your spiked coffee. Was he funny? Or was it the whiskey talking? First you think he’s cute, now you think he’s funny? Was it a full moon? Were you finally losing it?

“What’s with all those newspapers?” You take another sip of your drink and stand up. You walk towards the stack of old newspapers at the bottom of one of Law’s bookcases. 

“It’s not for the newspapers. It’s for the comics.” 

You nod your head down and give him a look. 

“The comics?”

“Sora, Warrior of the Sea. It’s the greatest comic ever made. I have ever single issue ever made.” 

“hmm… never heard of it.” You say as you flip through the stack. 

“What? You’ve never heard of Sora? Stealth Black? It’s been running in the WENP for years.” Law asks. 

“Nope, nothing rings a bell.”

“Grab the bottom one. Bring it here.” 

You oblige and carefully pull Issue 1 from the bottom of the stack of papers. You bring it over to Law’s desk and he flips open immediately to the beginning of the comic strip. “See look, this is Sora. He’s a marine hero, and he fights against Germa 66. He’s got this robot here, see?” 

Law points at the comic on the page and you listen intently. As he explains the years long lore of this fictional hero, you notice a certain sparkle in the pirate captain’s eye. He wasn’t looking at you, he was looking at the figures on the crusty old newspaper page with awe and splendor. You listened for what felt like ages about this nerdy comic strip, but you were mesmerized at the sight of Law finally showing interest in something. 

“So who is this guy?” You point at a character on the page. 

“Good question, this is a new character in this chapter so… wait you’re actually listening?” Law turns to finally meet your gaze. 

“… yes? Why would I not be?” You cock your head. 

“I-I just thought you’d be.. bored… or something..” Law still looks at the page. 

“I’m not bored. I’ve never read this before. It’s interesting. Can we read one more? Tomorrow’s Sunday… no bed time, am I right?” You ask. 

“O-Of course! If you want to!” Law quickly moves from his desk and grabs Issue 2 from the stack. He hurries back to his desk and opens up to the first comic panel. 

“I-If you really want to see the art, you can move your chair over here…” Law scoots his desk chair over to make space for you on his side of the desk. 

You oblige and move your chair to the other side of the desk so that you and Law were sitting shoulder to shoulder. He points to a character in the comic. “So if you see here…” 

Law rambles through the entirety of the comic book with great interest. You alternate looking from the page to his shining face as he smiles, explaining the deep lore behind the story. You had never seen Law so impassioned about anything, let alone a nerdy piece of print media. The hour was drawing late and you yawn involuntarily. 

“Hey, you should get to bed. You worked hard today.” Law closes the old newspaper. 

“Hm. Thanks. You know I really want to hear more about Sora. Maybe we can read more another time?” You ask.

“R-really? I mean.. Yes. We can do that. Enjoy your day off.” Law replies with wide eyes.

“Goodnight, Law.” You smile as you head towards the door of Law’s office. 

“Goodnight.”

You shut the cold steel door behind you and return to your room. Halfway through trudging through the base you realize you had a stupid grin plastered across your face. It was so fascinating to see such an uptight and cold man let loose and info dump about his special interests. He liked superhero comics. How were you supposed to ignore how cute that was?

You sigh and push open the metal door to your room. 

“Well, well, well.” 

“Ah!” You jolt in surprise. 

“It’s 12:30 AM. Where were you, miss girl?” Ikkaku cocks her head as she closes the gossip magazine she was reading while lounging on top of your bed. 

“I-I told you I had a meeting!” You respond defensively. 

“Alone? With the captain? Until the wee hours of the morning? Hmm?”

“OK don’t ‘miss girl’ me! He had some books he needed to show me!” You unzip your jumpsuit and start to brush your hair out for bed.

“That man doesn’t let anyone in his office for more than 10 minutes, let alone several hours! What the hell were you talking about!” Ikkaku asks you in an accusatory fashion. 

“Oh my GODS, nothing! He wanted me to learn about my devil fruit powers and we got side tracked talking about that weird comic he likes!” 

“Sora?”

“Yes, Sora. The Sea Warrior guy.” 

“Damn.” Ikkaku opens up the magazine again and looks down. 

“What?” 

“He didn’t tell us about his boy-crush on Sora for YEARS! And you’re already reading it with him after a few months? You think I’m stupid?”

“What do you mean? Of course I don’t think that!”

“He likes you. Clearly. Do you like him?” Ikkaku cuts straight to the point. 

“I… I don’t know yet.” You sit down on the bed next to her as you stripped yourself of your clothes. Ikkaku wraps an arm around you. 

“And that’s okay. Just… be careful. You’ve been through enough, I’d hate to see you get your heart broken too.”

You sigh, relaxing into your pillows. 

“I know… Hey… please don’t tell anyone about this, okay?” You look at her. 

“of course.” Ikkaku holds out her pinky to you and you smile and hook it with your own. You press your foreheads together and laugh. 

“Shit, if he starts getting laid it might be a lot more chill around here.”

You smack Ikkaku on the shoulder and the both of you fall into a fit of laughter. 

— — 

The next morning you wake up at your own pace, thrilled to not have to train. You throw on some sweatpants and decide it’s time to get some breakfast. As you swing open the door to your stateroom you notice an ugly, dirty glass vase filled with marigolds and coneflowers at your doorstep. 

You lean down and pick up the bouquet. It was put together haphazardly, but you recognized the blooms. These were from your garden. You pick up the arrangement and bring it to your nose, inhaling its fresh airy scent. You turn back and place the flowers on your vanity before heading to the kitchen for breakfast. 

Ikkaku was at the stove making rice and eggs. You come up behind her and pinch her hip. 

“Good morning.”

“Morning, sunshine!” Ikkaku turns her head and smiles at you. “I made a plate for you and one for the captain. Can you drop it by his room?” She smirks. 

You roll your eyes. 

“Yes ma’am.” You grab both plates and head to Law’s office. 

Once reaching his door you shout instead of knocking. 

“Chow time, Cap!”

The door opens and you push yourself in. 

Law raises his head from his desk and clears it from the medical journals he was reading. 

“Good morning.” You smile. 

“Good morning, back.” Law looks at the plate you placed in front of him. “Guessing you weren’t on kitchen duty this morning?”

You laugh. 

“Ikkaku makes a fine breakfast, you’re just getting spoiled.” 

The two of you eat breakfast in silence for awhile. 

“Y-You saw the flowers?” Law stutters out in between mouthfuls of rice. 

“I did. They’re lovely.” You smirk. “So you snuck out into my garden and picked my flowers to give them to me?” You ask with a playful smile. 

“T-that’s… the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.. when you say it like that…” Law puts his fork down and rubs his eyes. Your heart pangs with sympathy. The man had tried. 

“Hey, it’s the thought that counts. I loved them.” You finish your plate of food. 

Law still doesn’t meet your gaze. 

“Thank you for breakfast.” He says while finishing his plate. 

“Thank you for the flowers, Law.” You picked up his plate and stacked it with yours. Before grabbing the tableware you make your way around Law’s desk. 

You grab Law’s cheek in one hand and lean forward to kiss his other cheek. You let your lips linger on his skin before pulling back. Law freezes. 

You take the dishes out of his office and back to the kitchen to clean. As you wash the dishes, you can’t help but worry… were you really going to get involved with this man? This relationship would have an expiration date… would that be fair to either of you? Did you care? He made butterflies erupt in your chest simply by being vulnerable… there was no denying that you felt something from that kiss, too. The noise in your head was too loud. It was time to take your red satchel and head out to the garden shed…

xx

Authors Note:

chapter 11! it's here! If you guys have suggestions on where you want this to go from here, I'd love to hear them! I have a few thoughts floating around but I'm open to suggestion! Law is just such an awkward loser nerd in my head that's why I simply have to write him as one. (He might close the deal soon thought hehehehe)

[jiggy-manda]

Six (Jemily)

Alternate ending to the Season 8 Episode 15, Broken.

wc: 3.1k

After the BAU busts the conversion camp, JJ realizes it affected her more than she originally thought.

TW for: mention of homophobia & conversion therapy, drugs/drugging, rape, violence, just a lot of the stuff that happened in 8x15 will be mentioned here, so just a big tw in general. it's not heavily detailed, and none of them are described- its mainly just mentions of certain things and recapping what happened

“Are you ignoring me?”

JJ looked up from the file in her lap and made eye contact with Spencer, his expression full of uncertainty.

“What? No.”

Her eyes flitted back down to the file, her gaze tracing the outline of the writing. She wasn’t mad at Spencer. She wasn’t mad at anyone, really. Well– that’s a lie. She was mad at herself. The case today had only dredged up old feelings she’d sworn she’d buried away years ago.

The camp made her sick. The mere image of those teenagers hooked up to the IV drips was enough to unsettle her stomach, and it didn’t help the year old feelings she’d been trying so hard to ignore.

Everything was complicated. Everything was difficult. She’d been married for years. How could she just give that up? She loved Will. Even if it wasn’t romantically, she still cared for him and loved him as a friend. She didn’t know how she could break his heart. Or her son’s.

Oh, Henry.

It was too much. She loved her son; she couldn’t turn his world upside down. It wasn’t fair.

“I’m not mad at you, Spencer.” JJ sat back in her seat on the jet, knowing her friend wouldn’t leave until she told him what was on her mind. The agent sighed, closing her eyes as she chose her next words very carefully. “I’m…” She looked around, searching for the right word to describe what exactly she was feeling. Upset? Angry? Confused? No word seemed to fit her emotions quite right; everything felt too small. No singular word could sum up her feelings, much less the ones she’d been hiding for six years.

“I’m just tired, Spence. Exhausted, really. This case…” The profiler trailed off, once again being particular in her word choices. “It just got to me. I mean, they… they were kids, Spence.” Her voice wavered, and she felt six years worth of tears threatening to spill. “And their parents… they endorsed it.” She felt sick. Everything was becoming too much. “Their own kids… were in love,” she choked on the word, feeling her face start to dampen. “And they punished them for it. For being in love. For having feelings they couldn’t control, for being brave enough to share their truth, to–”

She stopped herself.

She’d never been brave enough.

“They were brave… and their parents took it and threw it right back in their faces.”

The words felt bitter on her tongue. She didn’t know those kids. She had no reason to feel such a connection to them.

But she knew better.

She knew why it affected her so much.

JJ closed her eyes and felt her head drop as more tears fell, her body overcome with the stress and frustrations of hiding– hiding for much, much longer than six years. “They were brave,” she whispered.

Spencer watched as his friend cried, not completely understanding why she was taking this case so personally. She seemed so… fragile. Broken.

He knew there was something more. JJ was a trained profiler; there was no way she would react to a case like this unless there was something else seriously eating at her. Something deeper. Jennifer Jareau was the strong one, the one who took no bullshit and knew how to get what she wanted. She might not be as good at compartmentalizing as Emily, but she was a hell of a lot better than most agents. Stronger.

Spencer wasn’t used to seeing JJ like this. It scared him.

“JJ…”

“Please don’t, Spencer.” JJ kept her eyes shut, her lips twisting into a painful smile. “I know you want to help, and I- I appreciate it, I really do.” Another sigh. “I just… need to be alone right now.”

JJ’s voice continued to go in and out as she spoke, and Spencer couldn’t bear to watch it anymore. Deciding to give his friend some space, he got up and moved to sit with Alex, who immediately took interest in the state of the younger team member.

————

“Are you sure she would want this, Spencer? I mean, I know you want to help, but this seems a bit extreme.”

Spencer looked over at Alex as he brought his phone out of his pocket, his fingers gliding across the screen.

“It’s already done, Alex. Sorry.” He gave a mischievous smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, nerves still having a hold on him.

“How far away are we from Quantico?” The older woman asked.

“About three hours,” came the reply.

“And how far is she?”

Spencer’s eyes glinted as he smiled. “Two.”

Alex narrowed her eyes at the doctor, silently urging him to go on. “Come on, did you really not notice how checked out JJ was this whole time? Frankly, I’m surprised no one called Emily before I did.”

Alex nodded, following his story. “Uh-huh, and when did you call her?”

Spencer’s grin faltered, a guilty expression escaping him. “Last night.”

Alex sighed as she looked at him. “Spencer…”

“I know, I know. Emily has a life in London and we should respect that– I get it. But JJ… she was worrying me, Alex. And Emily… I don’t know. She always just seems to know how to make things better.”

“As long as you’re sure it’ll help,” Alex surrendered.

“I am.”

————

JJ’s head throbbed as she walked back into Quantico, trailing a bit behind the other team members. She needed a nap.

A collective sigh of relief came when the team was dismissed, everyone eager to get back to the beds in the comfort of their own homes.

“Uh, JJ?”

JJ turned her head to Spencer, making eye contact with the taller man. “Hm?”

“Hotch asked me to tell you he wants to see you in his office.”

JJ’s eyes narrowed as she considered the multitude of possible meanings behind that sentence. “Why?”

“Um, don’t take it personally,” Spencer started, fiddling with the zipper of his jacket. “But we all kinda noticed how… zoned out you were. I think he's just worried.”

JJ stood silent, staring at him. She needed to play her cards carefully, not give anything away. “Okay,” she said with a nod. “Thanks.” She added a smile, hoping it came across as genuine.

Spencer nodded, smiling before turning around to leave.

————

JJ let out a long sigh as she walked up the steps to Hotch’s office, already curating a story to explain her odd behavior. She knew they’d noticed her off demeanor, but she didn’t know to what extent, which was what scared her. She could lie, easily, but not if they know more than she does.

Taking one last deep breath, JJ reached her arm out and pushed the door open, stepping into her unit chief’s office.

“JJ.”

————

JJ’s heart dropped and her mouth went dry. It was as if her mind went completely blank and she’d forgotten everything she’d ever learned.

“Emily?”

JJ looked at the woman in front of her, still taller than her, and still just as beautiful as the last time she’d seen her.

Emily gave her a soft smile. “Hey.”

JJ just stared at her as she stood, not quite processing the fact that Emily was actually there. In person. They stood in silence for a few moments, Emily observing her younger friend as she collected her thoughts.

“You’re here,” JJ said, more relieved than she meant to sound.

“Of course I’m here, JJ.” Emily looked over to her side for one second as she walked over to Hotch’s desk, perching herself on the top of it. “Spencer told me about the case.” JJ looked up to meet her eyes. “And you.”

JJ’s breath hitched in the back of her throat. Suddenly, reality came crashing down on JJ like a large bucket of ice water. Emily was really here, right in front of her. In Quantico. Not London.

She took a gasp for air as her eyes once again teared up at the sight of her old team member, the woman she’d secretly loved for the past six years.

“Emily.”

JJ’s voice cracked as she launched herself at the older woman, wrapping her arms around her neck and burying her face in her shoulder. Her body shook as sobs wracked through her, heavy and filled with anguish. She cried as Emily comforted her, slowly rubbing her back to soothe the younger woman.

When JJ pulled away, her eyes were red and puffy, her face stained with tears and smeared mascara. “It–” she hiccuped. “Was horrible.” Her voice shook as she opened up, taking various pauses here and there to control her breathing.

“They were… drugging them and raping them and–” her voice caught in her throat, unable to speak clearly about the horrors she witnessed at the camp.

“Okay, JJ, I need you to breathe,” Emily said, her gaze fixated on the younger woman. “Alright?” She took a deep breath in, demonstrating for her. “Yeah?” JJ nodded. The younger woman followed her movements, taking in a few deep breaths before continuing.

“They had them hooked up to these IVs in this giant room, and they… they had these huge screens and for hours they just had them there, watching…” She couldn’t bring herself to voice the acts she’d witnessed. She shook her head as she recalled the encounter, suddenly feeling extremely nauseous. Her vision clouded as the images bombarded her, overwhelming her senses.

Emily hopped off the desk to stand in front of the younger woman, noticing the sudden change in her demeanor. “Hey, JJ, are you okay?” She brought her hands to JJ’s shoulders, steadying her as she swayed. “JJ, you need to sit down–”

“No.”

Emily was taken aback at JJ’s harsh tone. She rarely heard this tone from JJ; it was almost always reserved for the unsubs who pushed too many of her buttons. JJ had never used this tone with her before, and now Emily was confused.

“I need…” JJ took a deep breath, stepping back to look at the woman in front of her. “I need to tell you something.”

Emily nodded, trying to follow her friend’s words.“Anything, JJ.” She looked at her with so much sincerity that JJ could almost cry. She didn’t deserve her.

JJ took a deep breath as she thought about how to phrase it. She needed to confess; she knew she couldn’t hold it in any longer. Six years was hard enough, but now with this case? JJ knew it was only a matter of time before it all came crashing down. She always knew.

“I never wanted Will,” she blurted out.

Emily immediately cocked her head to the side, confused and concerned as to what brought out that confession. Of all things she expected JJ to say, this definitely wasn’t one of them.

“What?”

“I never wanted him,” JJ said, staying solid in her words. “At first, I blew him off every chance I got. I only agreed to go on dates with him because I was bored, Emily. And I was tired. Everything was so complicated, and Will…” JJ hesitated, not wanting to sound rude. “…wasn’t.” She shrugged. “He was easy; everything was easy. We never fought, and at first I thought that was a good thing, but then I realized it was just because I didn’t care enough to fight with him.”

“JJ, I don’t underst–”

“I never wanted him, Emily.” JJ interrupted her, her voice once again low and sharp. “I went on a few dates with him, sure, but that was only to please him. I was bored, and I thought he’d eventually leave me alone. I didn’t want him. I never wanted him, Emily.”

JJ looked up at her, meeting her gaze before quickly looking away. She took a shaky breath before speaking, her voice cracking with the weight of her words.

“I wanted you.”

Emily felt like she’d just gotten the wind knocked out of her. “What?” She whispered.

“Emily, I’ve been in love with you since the day I met you.” JJ’s voice cracked again, and Emily’s heart broke at the desperation in her voice. “I tried to make it known, to show you. But I… I wasn’t brave enough to tell you, so I just settled on giving you subtle signs.” She sniffled a bit before continuing. “But then you encouraged me to go for Will, and…”

JJ’s expression changed. She was hurt before, but this… this was different. She looked devastated. “And I was so confused. Because I… I’d gotten it into my head that maybe you liked me too. I misread the signals you sent me, foolishly hoping you felt the same, but then you... You told me to go after him.” JJ stared at Emily, her eyes full of hurt and anguish.

“Why did you tell me to go after him? I didn’t want him. I never wanted him. He was my friend, I liked him, but I didn’t love him, not like that, I–” she took a deep breath, attempting to calm herself down. “I’m sorry.” Another breath. “I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. I chose to go after him; you saw us getting along and you encouraged me as a friend, I know, but…” She closed her eyes before she spoke again, feeling like she was back in the same spot she was where they had the conversation. “But it fucking hurt.” JJ’s voice was low, laced with emotion. “It hurt way more than any other breakup did, and that… broke me,” JJ whispered. “Because I loved you. And I still love you.”

Emily held her gaze, trying to wordlessly communicate her feelings. She knew she couldn’t interrupt the woman, not when she’s so emotionally charged, but she wished there was something she could do to soothe the woman’s feelings.

“But I wasn’t brave enough to tell you. God, can you believe that?” She looked up at the ceiling, chuckling bitterly. “Those kids were brave enough to live their truth, and they were teenagers. What does that say about me? I mean, how pathetic could I be, really…” She trailed off, no longer having a specific goal in mind.

JJ took a deep breath before continuing, knowing she had to finish her testimony at some point. “Those kids were brave enough to be themselves and they almost died, Emily. And when I was in there… All I could think about was you. And me. Because I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember, and I’m tired of pretending I’m not. It’s exhausting, Emily. I’m so… I’m so tired. I’m tired of living a life that’s not real. I love you, and I physically cannot keep hiding it any longer and I’m sorry if you don’t feel the same way because I probably just ruined whatever friendship we ever had but I just couldn’t go any longer without admitting that I am absolutely crazy about you and I-”

“I’ve dreamed about being with you for years.”

Emily barely got the words out before reaching forward and taking JJ’s head in her hands, connecting their lips with more urgency than she’d ever felt before. Her stomach did twists and turns as they kissed, and she felt her face heat up as JJ smiled.

JJ’s heart was soaring. She felt like it was about to beat out of her chest, and she was terrified that Emily could feel it leaping and bounding all over the place. Her brain wasn’t doing her any favors, either, and all she could process was the fluttery feeling in her stomach and the soft lips on her own.

JJ grinned as she leaned farther into the kiss, gripping onto the sides of Emily’s jacket and bringing her closer. She felt her stomach flip when Emily’s tongue danced across her bottom lip, and she instantly opened her mouth, welcoming anything and everything the older woman was willing to give her.

JJ gasped and stepped back when she felt a moan slip, embarrassed at her lack of composure. Her eyes snapped up to meet Emily’s, whose pupils had expanded nearly tenfold. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, worrying that she’d ruined their moment.

Emily just smiled before leaning in for another kiss. “Don’t apologize.”

JJ smiled in relief, sighing into the kiss as Emily caressed her back. “I love you so much,” she said. “I can’t believe I hid it for six years,” she said quietly, guilt creeping up inside her.

“JJ,” Emily started, gaze softening at the woman in front of her. “Listen to me.” JJ stared at her, swallowing lightly. “You weren’t ready. There’s no shame in that.”

JJ felt as if thirty pounds were lifted off her shoulders. “Oh my God, you don’t know how happy I am to hear you say that,” she breathed out.

“Everyone… accepts themselves at different times, JJ. I’m proud of you, no matter how long it took.”

JJ looked at her, her eyes glossing over once more. “I just feel like we missed out on so much…”

Emily shook her head as she stared at the woman in front of her, tenderly taking her hand in her own. “We have the whole future, JJ. We have so much time…”

“What about Will?” JJ asked, her voice quivering.

Emily’s smile faltered. “To be honest, JJ…” She looked at JJ’s expression, trying to decipher the meaning. “I only encouraged you to go for him because I thought you wouldn’t feel the same way about me… the way I felt about you.”

JJ felt her blood freeze. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Emily’s eyes widened. “What?” She questioned.

JJ stood up straighter and took a step closer to Emily. “You were in love with me this whole time?”

Emily just blinked, as if it were the most obvious fact in the world. “Well, yeah…”

Nothing, save for a quiet “what the hell,” was muttered from JJ as she took Emily’s face in her hands and crashed their lips together, initiating a much faster, and much deeper kiss than before.

Emily felt a familiar sensation build up in her stomach as she reciprocated the kiss, moaning as six years of feelings bubbled up and over into one moment.

The kiss only got more heated over time, and Emily was beginning to get nervous that they were approaching a point of no return. As it progressed, Emily let out a short gasp at JJ, staring at her in shock after the blonde bit down on her bottom lip, a moan escaping the taller woman’s mouth.

“That’s for telling me to go after Will.”

Emily scoffed and laughed slightly as JJ came closer, taking her lips once again and reaching her arm around to slightly pull on the older agent’s ponytail, smirking to herself as Emily let out another short moan.

“And that’s for taking six years to confess.”

[kaiaden]

The End of Crystalized

I think people completely ignore crystallized because it was such a bad season, but you can’t ignore the fact that it exists, and that it’s completely canon.

My main point would be that people often paint Lloyd and Garmadon’s relationship as what it was in season 8. Yes, Lloyd was in fact frustrated and angry with him, but they began to rebuild their relationship, and you can see this in the last episode when Lloyd and Garmadon actually helped each other. I just hate to see people write Dragons Rising fics where Lloyd finds Garmadon and the two argue and Lloyd basically hates him. It’s kind of annoying.

I think the only thing I will never accept in Crystalized is Harumi’s ‘redemption’ and that Lloyd just forgave her just like that. Personally, I think he would more so let go of her, that he no longer has feeling for her, and will likely never forgive her, but he can move on and no longer hate her with a passion.

[lover-of-mine]

On the question of the new viewers. Let me preface with after getting burned bad I made a promise I would never ship Canon straight characters as queer ships ever again. It just comes into play to understand the readers digest version of this. Yes I was always aware of the Buddie ship and the actors but that was it

I accidentally started season 6. It just came on, and I just didnt look away. Here's how it went.

I actually saw the lasagna dinner scene and thought wait they went Canon? That's them right? Then quickly realized. Nope 2 straight besties. Bucks a cool uncle (didn't know about will scene forgive me). And proceeded to not get attached.

Actually easy because they separated them a bit. But then there was the lightening strike and poker date and I was like oh somethings happening. I was wrong they had the dopey ass ending and I was like bless me for not getting invested.

Then.... It was a year wait!!!!!! So it was a boredom tune back in. I was pleased to see Bucks bi story. I thought the first kiss was charming. Then he was just there. I left the season thinking Eddie was tragically in love with his dead wife and Buck was experimenting.

If I didn't go back to binge I would have gone into 8 with these expectations. Eddie either excepting he was a tragic single father forever. Buck, yes probably seeing Tommy, but no I was not a shipper. Firstly because of appearance. I have no problem with age difference but with them I just don't like it. Tommy seems older and rougher. On the flip side personality. That Tommy wasn't what I pictured Bucks end game as like at all. I wanted someone like Spencer Reid if it wasn't Eddie.

But... . I did go back and binge. S1 was a trip. Got to S2. Saw the opening. Went duh I get why they ship them, but you ain't getting me. Until the elf scene. I really was good. But right after the elf scene I remembered hearing how Tim wrote it as a nod and double checked.. Remember, it would be weird to see the scene and know Tim knows after knowing full well yes Buck would come out queer. So it really was a no brainer after that. No way Tim created this in S2 if they weren't end game if there was ever a chance.

Then came the well, tsunami, shooting, will reveal, break ups, co dependant idiots and finally caught back to the lasagna and lightening. Also seeing how much Eddie isn't a reliable narrator about his relationship with Shannon. The version I got at the end of 7 is not what was happening on my screen in 2. I would almost label it a red herring depending on how this plays out in 8. Also after watching the begin episodes I understood anyone's frustration that Tommy was just white washed.

Final conclusion. Not even trying to sound condescending but I don't know why the other side even thinks this is a "ship war". I was late and I never hated Tommy but I would have never shipped them as end game. I couldn't even tell if Tommy actually liked Buck. I was left with the ick of Buck was a consolation prize or second choice and Buck was trying way to hard. Taking scraps and being grateful. Maybe because I binged it was more fresh but it was more of how little self respect Buck had for himself in trying to be in a relationship.

And if anyone finished reading that you deserve an award.

This is an interesting view of things, I think if you only have the s7 context, you will see them differently because the whole Kim thing really messes with the perception of Eddie and love, thank you for coming and telling me this, really.

But this kinda made me talk about my experience with buddie, so I'm gonna do that, because I think it's funny. I didn't know much about the show, but I knew of buddie, I started watching during the hiatus between 5a and 5b and during that time there was some big talk about queerbaiting going around and I know of them next to ships like destiel and stucky and destiel, I had just read an article on queerbaiting that had a section talking about them, so I kinda assumed buddie would be the same as they had enough context to create a ship but not enough for it to have a real chance of going canon, so I was set on not shipping them. Like, I was legit ready to roll my eyes and see that Buck and Eddie with their respective female love interests and be like "okay they are never going anywhere" but then an elf pretty much calls them gay as Eddie justifies sleeping with his wife 10 episodes in and I was like "oh oh" because they have a compelling friendship and I'm a sucker for best friends to lovers, but I was fighting it, until the tsunami, because seriously, I watched Eddie go "there's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you" after a situation where no one would blame Eddie if he needed time and I was done for. Then they just kept getting more insane about each other. I remember watching the will reveal and being like "wait, fuck me, are they gonna go there?" because they follow all the basic procedural slowburn tropes, and I started s5 being like 👀 about everything that was happening to them. Now that Buck is bi, I'm seriously 95% sure buddie is happening because all the elements are there. There is something very compelling about Buck and Eddie together when you look at the whole show and s7 really added to that. Settling for Buck in a relationship with someone who's clearly not that into him just because it's a queer relationship doesn't feel right when Eddie is right there.