#netflix you just bunch of assholes an deserves for hell

[stasyalovem]

in my head it was supposed to end like this. after at least 4 seasons of adventures, dealing with their traumas and feelings, dangers and tenderness, coping with grief and adjusting to new circumstances, stories about their past, lots of friendship and love and support, and thousands saved souls. Charles and Edwin were to get their happy ending. for all the good they did, someone up there decided they deserved to come back to life again because their deaths were unjust. however, there is a condition - each of them will return to life in their own time and era (because a little element of angst will never be superfluous). but that's not what Charles and Edwin want. we already had "I wouldn't want to be dead with anyone else" moment and now it's time for "I wouldn't want to be alive with anyone else and without you". they both reject the offer, because life without the other simply has no meaning, it is worse than death. they are adamant about this decision, because what they have created together is their own special equivalent of the afterlife, in which they are both happy together. it so moves the one who has the authority to bring them back to life that they are allowed boys to start all over from this very moment and now, to be where they are supposed to. together. but that's another story

[blog-name-idk]

Everything Falls (Into Place) | 02

**Banner by the incredible @bangtansmauyeondan

Pairing: OT7 x Fem Reader

Genre: College!AU, Roommate!AU, Fluff, Humor, Smut

Summary: Your new roommates are unbearably nice and unbearably hot. Good thing you're an adult who is fully capable of platonic friendships with the opposite sex, right?

Word Count: 3042

~~~~~

Things were not just fine. Well, they had been at first, after your initial breakdown. It had turned out that you had just been in shock the first day - after half a bottle of wine you had been sobbing in Mina's arms as she performed the best friend duty of telling you your ex was an asshole, a total moron, you were a goddess and he didn't deserve to even smell the shit that came out of your ass, etc. But it seemed like that one good cry session had cleared your head, and you found yourself not missing your ex at all. The first couple days with Mina had actually been fun, like an extended slumber party where you both fell asleep watching Netflix and giggling.

Unfortunately, it had now been two weeks, and absolutely no one was looking for new roommates or subleasers. While Mina was being a complete gem about the situation, her studio was cozy at best for one person, and you felt terrible taking up her space for so long. Not to mention her couch was less than luxurious, and you felt like you were well on your way to developing a permanent hunchback.

Comfort aside, it was likely that in another couple weeks you and your best friend were liable to be in the news for a murder, probably murder-suicide if the remorse hit before police showed up. You knew you were getting desperate when you actually began to consider answering the creepy Craiglist ads that listed "female roommate only" for "strictly nonsexual reasons."

You relayed your woes to Jackson the next time he called to check in on you, and he was silent for several long moments.

"I… I might know someone who has a spare room," your brother finally muttered hesitantly, tone pained. You perked up from where you had been sinking into the couch between its two lopsided cushions.

"What! And you didn't tell me?" You accused, both excited and annoyed.

"Well, I'm not sure if they'd want to rent it out…" he hedged, still sounding reluctant.

"Dude what the hell, you haven't even asked?" You said indignantly, shocked that he would hold out on you like this.

"You'd be living with a bunch of dudes."

Ah, there it was. Big brother Jackson coming out.

"You know I don't care about that. I've lived with guys before." Well, one guy. And he had never used the kitchen or left his room. Best roommate you'd ever had.

"Not seven," came the sullen mutter on the other line.

"Oh my god Jackson," you groaned, rolling your eyes. "The fact that you're even suggesting them means that you know them all and they're good people, right? It's not like they're gonna murder me and hide my body in the walls or something."

"Well, yeah, but…"

"But WHAT?" you almost screamed in frustration. You wanted to strangle him.

"They're all… hot."

There was silence for several moments. Then you started guffawing uncontrollably, unladylike snorts escaping from your lips.

"You are such a dork," you gasped between laughs, tears coming to your eyes. "If I promise not to let them gangbang me, will you please ask?"

"Never say that again," came the revolted reply, making you laugh even harder.

"What, can't stomach the idea of a houseful of your buddies railing your little sister?" you taunted, unable to resist needling your brother despite the fact that he currently held your salvation in his hands.

"Oh my god please stop, I'm going to throw up."

"I'll stop if you ask them. Look, I'll even promise to you right now. This vagina is off limits to anyone I live with. Girl scout's honor."

"One, fucking gross, please stop using those words. Two, you were a brownie for one week. Three, you're actually serious, aren't you?"

"Deadly. Please. Share the whole sob story if you think it'll guilt them into saying yes. I'm desperate. If this goes on much longer you're going to have to start calling me Quasimodo."

"Ugh, FINE!"

~~~~~

Namjoon tried not to sigh as Jin rushed around the house, fluffing pillows and cleaning nonexistent dust off the shelves.

"Hyung, if she's gonna live here, she's gonna see the house in its normal state," Namjoon complained from the couch, where he had been ordered to sit and not touch anything.

"I guess you have a point," the oldest member of the house sighed, eyeing the younger members who were currently lounging on their phones and clearly not worried about the state of the house.

"Plus she might be a total bitch," added Jungkook from where he was playing some phone game. "That's why she's coming over here anyway, right? To see if it would even be a good fit?"

Namjoon frowned at the comment, though he said nothing. Considering how much Jackson clearly adored his sister, he doubted you could be that bad. But as much as he wanted to help his friend out, he couldn't just agree to let some stranger move in without letting his roommates weigh in on the decision. It was especially complicated since you were a girl, they were a bunch of dudes (some thirstier than others), and Jackson's parting words had made Namjoon's butthole clench.

"We definitely still have that spare room, but I'll have to talk to the other guys about it first. We'd probably want to meet her before deciding anything."

"That's fair. I'll send you her phone number so you can coordinate."

"Alright, I'll shoot her a text after this."

"I really appreciate it." A pause, then in a quieter, eerily cold tone, "also, if anyone hurts her, I will cut off their balls and shove them down their throat."

"Uh -"

"Anyway, thanks buddy! I'll call you again some time soon so we can catch up!"

Yeah, he had never heard Jackson use that icy tone of voice before and he sincerely hoped never to experience it again. It was fine, men and women were perfectly capable of healthy, platonic friendships. You probably wouldn't even be that cute, anyway.

A knock on the door cut off all conversation in the room, and Namjoon hurried to the door, narrowly avoiding knocking over the coat rack in the entryway. He opened the door to greet you, and okay, you were pretty cute.

"Um, hi," you said a bit awkwardly, shifting your weight from foot to foot. "I'm [y/n]."

Realizing he was just standing in the door like a big stupid gorilla, he quickly put a smile on his face and welcomed you in.

"It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Namjoon."

Your eyes sparkled in recognition and your lips broke into a bright smile. Oh no, you were really cute.

"Oh! It's nice to officially meet you too. Thanks so much for even considering this, I know it's a weird time of year and you don't really need another renter."

"It's the least I can do, Jackson is a good friend," he assured as he led you to the living room where the rest of the boys were gathered.

"[Y/n]?" Taehyung was gaping slightly.

"[Y/n]?" That was Jungkook, whose head had whipped up immediately when he heard your name.

"Taehyung? Jungkook? I didn't know you lived here!" You looked just as surprised as everyone else at this turn of events, and Namjoon wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. If you were a prior hook-up or something, then everything was going to shit already.

"I mentioned her name when I told you about this," he said, exasperated, and the younger boys looked away guiltily. They had probably tuned out after they had gotten the gist of the situation.

"So how do you guys know each other?" He asked in trepidation, praying that the answer would be something that allowed everyone's genitalia to remain intact.

"[Y/n]'s my best customer!" Taehyung volunteered immediately, and before anyone else could say anything, Jungkook cut in.

"[Y/n]'s also the best tutor!" He declared, and Namjoon heaved an internal sigh of relief. His balls were safe. And it seemed that you already had the approval of two of the members, at least.

"Thanks guys," you said with a chuckle. "Though I think 'best customer' is a nice way of saying I spend an irresponsible amount of money on coffee."

The others in the room laughed at your quip, and it seemed you and Namjoon remembered them at the same time.

"Um, yeah, so… I'm [y/n]."

~~~~~

You weren't exactly sure what to expect when first planning the meeting with Namjoon. He himself seemed kind and respectful, though it was hard to get any legitimate read on him through the minimal text messages you had exchanged. Still, Jackson spoke highly of him, and his approval carried a lot of weight.

The house itself was a lot larger and nicer than you expected, though you supposed it made sense if seven (hopefully soon to be eight) people lived there comfortably. It was cleaner than you had pictured for a group of college guys, too. At least the living room was.

The biggest surprise, though, was the members. Sure, you had your brother's reluctant admission that they were all "hot," but that was not an adequate word to describe the men before you. Beautiful was closer to the truth. You had thought Taehyung and Jungkook, the cute underclassman you tutored in math, were anomalies, but there were five more stupidly gorgeous guys on campus? Were they all drawn to live together by some weird universal law like "thou shalt only reside with other 10s"?

Chill the fuck out, you mentally berated yourself. You literally just got out of a relationship, and these guys might be your ROOMMATES.

They all seemed nice, which was a relief. After realizing you had been standing awkwardly while the rest of them were seated, Namjoon had ushered you to an armchair that was already more comfortable than Mina's old couch. Then, the boys you didn't know proceeded to introduce themselves.

"I'm Hoseok, but you can call me Hobi!" Said the boy furthest to your right. He beamed at you with a dazzlingly bright smile, and it was impossible for you not to smile back.

"I'm Jimin!" Chirped the next one. When he grinned, his cheeks squished his eyes into tiny crescents that made your insides go gooey.

"I'm Jin," the next boy (man, really) said with a charming smile. You kept your eyes on his face, which unfortunately was just as distractingly perfect as his broad shoulders.

"Yoongi." The last one didn't smile, but he nodded politely, and his quiet voice sent an agreeable shiver down your spine. What was up with this house? Was there something in the water?

"It's nice to meet you all. I guess we've all established who I am at this point," you joked to hide your sudden nerves. This felt weirdly like a job interview, which would have been bad enough, but being the object of focus of seven ethereally gorgeous faces spiked your anxiety even higher. So of course, you said something stupid.

"I promise I won't murder you guys and wear your skin." Fuck. Fix this. "I mean, not that you guys don't have great skin! You definitely wouldn't need the hose. Fuck. I'm sorry. I swear I'm not insane."

You finally decided that you were only making things worse for yourself and shut the hell up, face bright red as you waited for them to tell you to get the hell out of their house. Instead, wheezing came from your left, and you panicked further. Had you managed to freak one of them out into a full blown panic attack? You forced yourself to look at the source of the noise.

Yoongi of all people had collapsed onto the floor, and you realized that he was laughing. You stared, dumbstruck, as a wide, gummy smile transformed his demeanor from intimidatingly stoic to fucking adorable. As if he had opened the floodgates, the rest of the guys started cracking up as well and you hid your face in your hands.

"I'm sorry, [y/n], but that was amazing," gasped Taehyung between giggles. Jimin had straight up fallen off the couch and was doubled over on the floor. You sighed, pouting a little. At least laughing was better than them actually thinking you were a psycopathic murderer.

"You don't have to be so nervous," Namjoon said soothingly when they managed to calm down. "We're not trying to find anything wrong with you. Just make sure you're a good fit."

"And that you won't kill us in our sleep," Jimin had to add, and promptly slipped back onto the floor amid gales of laughter, setting everyone off again. At this point you couldn't help but join in, their good humor was infectious.

"But really though, you know Kookie and I are already totally fine with you living here," Taehyung assured you with those warm eyes. Jungkook smiled that adorable, doe-eyed smile at you, and you felt yourself relaxing.

"Alright alright, well I clean up after myself, especially in common areas, and I do my dishes after I'm done."

"Sold," said Jin immediately, glaring at Jungkook and Jimin, who looked away innocently.

"I guess I'm also pretty quiet if I'm by myself? Even if I'm in my room I kind of prefer listening to music with headphones, and I don't use voice chat when I game, so you won't hear me yelling or anything."

"Can we just replace Kookie with [y/n]?" Drawled Yoongi, and you smiled a bit at Jungkook's pout. You assumed this implied you had the quiet one's approval, at least. Jimin and Hobi were also quick to say they had no objections to you, and you gladly accepted their offer to tour the house.

"Oh my god yes, please let me live here," you blurted as soon as they showed you the kitchen. It boasted a nice convection oven with gas ranges (Mina's studio had electric stove tops, which you despised with a passion), and plenty of counter space. But what really sold you was the large island with a beautiful, sexy marble top.

"Do you cook?" Jin asked in approving tones, and you shrugged.

"I'm not like a master chef or anything, but I can handle myself. It's not like it's hard to follow recipes, either."

"You'd be surprised," Jimin snickered, looking directly at Namjoon, who was blushing.

"I'm banned from touching anything here…" he mumbled bashfully, and you cooed internally at how cute he was.

"Hey, different strokes, right?" You reassured him, and he blindsided you with the appearance of some seriously lethal dimples. You really hoped you got desensitized quickly to the frankly ridiculous level of beauty present in this household.

The rest of the house was just as nice, and when they showed you the so-called spare room, you gasped. "Dude, this is bigger than Mina's studio."

The boys laughed at your enthusiasm, and Hobi stepped forward.

"This room is connected to mine through a bathroom - are you okay with that?"

"Of course! I don't want to put you out if you're used to having your own bathroom though…"

"Nah I don't mind! Besides, Jimin and Tae make due somehow and Jimin spends more time on his hair than the rest of us put together."

"Hyung!" Jimin whined cutely and you laughed again. You seemed to be doing that a lot around these boys.

"Well it pays off, maybe you can give me some pointers," you joked, and Jimin's face went from a pout to a mischievous grin as he winked at you. You outwardly didn't react, but inside you were dying. How did he go from adorable to flirty and hot so quickly? Who was your ex again?

The tour ended back downstairs, in the dining room this time, and everyone took a seat around the large table.

"What are your thoughts so far?" Asked Namjoon when everyone was settled.

"Honestly, I feel like this is too good to be true," you admitted. "Just how crazy would the rent be?"

He named a number and your jaw dropped.

"Namjoon, buddy, I think you forgot a zero," you stammered. There was no way a room in a house this nice could be that cheap, even if the rent was being split eight different ways.

"Uh, actually," Jin cut in, ears a little pink. "My family owns this house, so they cut us a deal."

You stared at Jin, mouth opening and closing like a fish. So he was handsome, sweet, and loaded. Was someone else in this house a secret prince or something? You half expected this to be some weird hidden camera prank.

"Okay, now this definitely seems too good to be true," you finally managed. And it did. On paper, it was completely ludicrous that you would be offered the opportunity to live in a dope-ass house, with the seven most beautiful human beings you had ever met, who were also really fucking nice, and you only had to share a bathroom with one person, and it was cheaper than the rent you were currently paying for your shitty student apartment. But looking around the table, you felt no unease stirring in your gut. And Jackson of all people had vouched for them. You knew you'd eventually get used to their looks and be able to see them objectively as friends. So you narrowed your eyes at the boys and said,

"Wait, this is a ploy to murder me for my skin suit, isn't it?"

The table dissolved into laughs again, and you relaxed further.

"Skin suit? Are you a lizard person?" Hobi joked, and you grinned and winked at him.

"Did you not know? Reptilians make the best roommates." Your wit was rewarded by another blast of that sunshine smile.

"[Y/n], what do you call it when a lizard can't shed?" Jin suddenly asked, and you cocked your head, confused.

"A reptile dysfunction!" Jin immediately began laughing and slapping the table at his own joke, and you couldn't help but join him amid the groans of his housemates. Yeah, you had a good feeling about these guys.

~~~~~

Next | Masterlist

[pogue-summer]

The Kook Princess and the Pogue King || JJ Maybank

A/N: Okay so I watched Outer Banks on Netflix and I’m totally obsessed with it now. JJ is my favourite character to ever exist, so I came up with this idea. This is just how JJ meets the reader. I really thought that JJ deserved having the best day of his life too. (I also picked a last name for the female character in this story since it’s kinda important.) There are gonna be more parts to this!

Word Count: 2.5K

Summary: You and JJ meet during Midsummer’s where you save him from getting beaten up by Rafe. Worlds collide when the Kook princess and the Pogue king hopelessly fall for each other. But is there enough space for your feelings when the island is so full of rivalries?

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

The soft pastel pink fabric of your dress swayed around your legs as you made your way through the crowd of people. With the flower crown on your head you really felt like you were part of Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream. Getting to dress up and wear something pretty was by far the best part of having to be at the Midsummer’s party.

The band was playing a slow song and you noticed with a smile that your parents were dancing to it. Fairy lights twinkled and the ocean breeze made everything smell like summer. It sounded perfect if it weren’t for those obnoxious Kooks.

Yeah, Yeah. You’re a Kook too, you get it. But Rafe,Topper and Kelce who were getting drunk on the dance floor were something else. Just like those stuck up old men that stood around tables and only talked about cars, golf, or business.

“A drink for the pretty lady?” One of the servers asked just as you entered the Country Club.

“No, thanks” you declined kindly, heading further inside the fancy building that you knew way too well. You just needed a minute to yourself after having to talk to people all evening. ‘Y/N how are doing? How is the mainland? Are you keeping up in school? Has the young lady found a boyfriend yet?’ Some people were really good at acting like they were genuinely interested.

Just as you decided that you’ve had enough alone time and were about head out again to try to enjoy the party you heard strange noises that caught your attention. It was a mixture of doors being yanked open hastily, things crashing and muffled words.

Walking down the hallway that lead to the bathrooms you quickly noticed their source. Rafe and his friends were about to beat up some blonde guy, that you didn’t recognize. It was 5 on 1.

What. An. Asshole!

You felt panic wash over you at the sight but at the same time anger started to build up deep inside you.

Kelce had the guy in a headlock and Rafe was seconds from throwing a punch.

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!” you shouted as loud as you could as you approached the bunch of guys. They all turned their heads toward you and the blonde boy stared at you wide eyed.

Although your brain was telling you to be scared your body didn’t really follow through with it.

“Stay out of it, Y/N!” Rafe threated with a crazy look on his face but you weren’t having it.

“Let him go” you said through gritted teeth, not afraid of him.

“Look, I really appreciate it, princess. But maybe this-” the unknown blonde started, wanting you to get out of this risky situation. The nickname made you raise your eyebrows at him.

“Miss Williams, is everything alright over there?” You were relieved to hear the security guard’s voice and noticed the tension grow bigger between the boys.

Rafe and his douchebags glared at you, thinking they could keep you quiet with a little intimidation.

“I think so, sir. Rafe and his friends were just about to head outside again, right?” you asked sweetly, faking a smile as you looked up at your tall neighbour  suggestively. You knew Rafe Cameron wasn’t stupid enough to start something in front of the security guard. Not here. This was your territory. But of course, Kelce had to interrupt.

“We caught that Pogue over here trespassing. He wasn’t invited.” Kelce spoke up, grinning triumphantly as he gestured over to the guy they were about to beat up. He had finally let him out of his tight grip.

‘A Pogue’ you thought to yourself and suddenly it made sense that you had never seen him before.

“Actually” you started, earning a threatening look from Rafe.

“Don’t” he whispered angrily.

“Actually, he’s with me. I invited him.” You told the security guard and although he eyed the boy suspiciously, he didn’t argue with you. The perk of being a Williams.

“Alright then, let’s enjoy the rest of the party” The security man said and gestured for us to follow him outside.

“You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into, sweetheart. Those Pogues are dirty” Rafe said as he walked past you, intentionally making your shoulders touch. The nickname made cold shivers run down your spine.

“Well at least he can’t be worse than you, sweetheart” you clapped back, your eyes forming slits.

When Rafe and his friends were gone you noticed the blonde boy was still standing in the middle of the hallway. His ocean blue eyes stared at you unbelievingly as he was scratching the back of his neck nervously.

“What the fuck just happened” he laughed, taking a step toward you.

Only now you could see the bruises on his face and the deep cut on his bottom lip, making you swallow hard and wonder where he got them from. As your eyes closely scanned him you noticed his handsome features and well-built body. Wearing a black waistcoat and a bowtie he looked like one of the waiters.

“So…trespassing, huh?” You asked him with a grin on your face.

“So…a Williams, huh?” he mimicked you, running his hand through his blonde hair.

You weren’t surprised he recognized your last name. There was barely anyone in the Outer Banks that didn’t know it. Your parents were the owners of the Country Club, the one’s throwing this annual party. They also owned a few local businesses – there was no denying you were a full Kook.

But in contrast to the others you didn’t live here. At least not all the time. Although the Williams’ mansion was probably the biggest one on the island you only stayed here during the holidays when you had days off school. That’s why you weren’t too familiar with all the people and rivalries this island housed.

“I totally could have handled them, but thanks for standing up for me. Didn’t expect that from Miss Williams van Kook” the blonde Pogue grinned, letting his eyes wander over your body with an unreadable look on his face.

“You think I would have watched you get your ass beat by those assholes?” you asked him, slightly offended that he thought so low of you. Just because your status -your parents’ status actually- made you one of them.  

“Would have expected Princess Kook to join in, actually.”

“Oh, shut up” you laughed, lightly punching his shoulder. “I’m Y/N” you then added, introducing yourself to him.

“JJ” he told you and once again you felt his blue eyes on you. You smiled up at him while smoothing out the silky fabric of your off-shoulder dress.

“I better get going now” he said, remembering John B’s plan of meeting up later and also being out of things to say. He tried to talk to Kooks as little as possible.

“You’re leaving? I only invited you like 5 minutes ago” you pouted at him in a jokingly manner.

JJ shot you a questioning look.

“I’m just saying you look like you’re in need of a drink”

You didn’t even know what had gotten into you, but somehow you didn’t want the blonde stranger to leave. He was by far the realest and most intriguing person you had met all summer. You couldn’t just let him go and spend Midsummer’s by yourself again, unable to fit in.

JJ’s eyes lit up at the mention of alcohol. Free alcohol to be exact.

When you walked out into the backyard of the Country Club again, this time with JJ by your side quite a few heads turned toward you. Some Kooks even started whispering. Most of them seemed to recognize JJ as the lowlife Pogue that couldn’t stay out of trouble. His beaten-up face “confirming” their prejudice against him.

You couldn’t care less about the dirty and confused looks they shot you. All the Kook versus Pogue bullshit didn’t matter to you. And yes, that was easy to say as a Williams who didn’t even grow up here.

“Honey, what are you doing?” your mom chimed in with a worried look on her face as she eyed JJ up and down, obviously noticing his bruised face.

“You told me to make friends, right?” you smiled at her sweetly and there wasn’t much she could say against that. So, she just let you be.

At first you could feel how tense and uneasy JJ was, but he soon started to loosen up, especially after a drink or two.

“How can anyone eat that?!” JJ shook his head at the small plate of oysters you handed him.

You couldn’t help but laugh and had to admit that they didn’t look very appetizing.

“That’s the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. I knew you Kooks were fucked up, but this is some next level shit” he scrunched his nose up at the slimy texture, sending you into a fit of giggles.

You couldn’t believe how much fun you had with JJ. Normally Midsummer’s always bored you to death but this year the fairy lights twinkled brighter, the band played better, and the conversations were livelier. All thanks to the blonde-haired Pogue you had only met today.

“How come I’ve never seen you around?” JJ asked, he was sure he would have remembered you if he’d seen you before. How could he not?

“I’m just here during the holidays and I mostly stay around the mansion, the Country Club or on our part of the beach. I’m not too keen on running into them” You explained, slightly nodding your head towards Topper, Rafe and Kelce who had been sending you hateful glares all evening.

“Ah I get it. Her majesty is not only unreachable for the Pogues but even the kookiest Kooks aren’t good enough” JJ said nonchalantly.

You winced at his words.

“Ouch”

“Have you forgotten that you’re the one I’m spending the evening with?”

JJ’s mouth opened and closed again as he was searching for a witty reply or words at all.

“Touché” he just said, trying to ignore the blush that creeped up his neck.

Everything that had happened today felt unreal to him. Like a dream. But not even in his most secret fantasies would he have come up with something as bizarre as this. He had even forgotten the meet up with his friends, who he hadn’t seen all evening. Although he was sure Kiara and Pope should have been here.

Just then an upbeat song started playing and your eyes immediately lit up at the popping guitar strums.

“Let’s dance!” you couldn’t help but shout as JJ looked at you like you were out of your mind.

“Oh, that’s funny. You actually believe I’d dance with you, Williams” JJ laughed, shaking his head at the ridiculous request. But you just grabbed his hand and dragged him on the dance floor, JJ protesting all the way to it.

You started moving your body to the beat while JJ just stood there like his feet were glued to the floor.

“Oh c’mon!” you told him, dancing your way around him. Since he still wouldn’t budge you took his hands in yours, moving them around in a silly way.

“You are one of a kind” JJ said, acting like he was growing annoyed with you. “Everyone is staring” he hissed, looking slightly embarrassed.

“They’re just jealous” you whispered into his ear and something about that made his skin feel warm. And before he could stop himself, he was swaying with you. Letting loose and forgetting all of his problems for a short but sweet moment. He’d never felt like this before.

His arms wrapped around your waist, sending a blush to your cheeks. JJ couldn’t help but stare at you, it was the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen. The fairy lights made your eyes sparkle as the two of your lost yourselves in the music.

By now some stuck-up Kooks were shaking their heads at you but you didn’t even care to notice.

When the song ended you couldn’t stop yourself from hugging JJ, wrapping your arms around his neck, and pressing your head to his chest. Now it was his turn to blush as he lifted you up the floor to spin you around.

The sound of your giggles in his ear was the purest thing he had ever heard.

You spent to rest of the night talking to each other and cracking jokes. JJ told you about his group of friends and their adventures on the HMS Pogue. You mostly talked about what it was like to live on the mainland and how much it sucked having to be around Rafe and his douchebags.

“You know they’re all going to run their mouths about you” JJ said, taking a sip of his drink.

“Well, at least we gave them something to talk about” you smiled up at him.

And that right there was the moment JJ fell for you. He might not have known it yet, unaware that the weird feeling in his stomach were butterflies. But man, was he falling hard.

When the party died down JJ walked you home while your parents stayed behind until the last guest had left.

You walked so close to each other that your hands accidently brushed a couple of times. JJ had drove by the Williams’ mansion countless of times, but never had he thought he’d walk through its gates.

“There we are” you said reluctantly as you had reached the front door.

JJ felt like he was in one of those stupid romance movies as his hands started to sweat while he contemplated whether or not he should kiss you.

“I kinda hate to admit it, but I had lots of fun tonight” he said as his eyes wandered to your lips.

“Me too” you whispered, captivated by his ocean eyes.

“It was a pleasure serving you, princess” JJ told you with a lopsided smirk but just couldn’t muster up the courage to kiss you as he stood there like he was frozen.

“See you around?” you asked him hopefully.

JJ scratched the back of his neck. “Maybe” he then answered, sounding all mysterious. 

“Goodnight, JJ” you whispered, kissing his cheek softly.

“Night” he breathed as he turned bright red.

JJ watched you head inside and then stared at the closed door for at least a whole minute. As he walked away his hand went up to the spot you kissed, still feeling how warm his cheeks were.

He couldn’t help but think about how this was probably the best day he’d had in while. Maybe even in his life so far. He couldn’t believe something like that had happened to him. Normally he was followed by mishaps and bad luck.

But tonight, you made him feel like all of those things didn’t matter, like he was actually worth something. If only he’d get to sleep in a huge mansion now instead of wondering if it was safe to sleep at home tonight.

It could have been the picture-perfect love story if you weren’t a Williams while he was a Maybank.

[thevindicativevordan]

What did you think of the Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon?

Didn't read them until long after everyone el-

Oh. You don't mean the Bendis comics. You mean this:

Frankly I thought it sucked. With Spectacular Spider-Man and Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes there was a brief era where Marvel seemed to be aiming to compete with DC in the animated arena. I thought both of those could absolutely be compared with the best of the DCAU. They were ambitious, drawing on the source material of the comics while still doing their own thing. Even think Paul Dini was involved wasn't he? Thought I heard he scripted a few episodes.

Then Loeb takes over the animation side and completely fucking runs it into the ground. EMH gets killed off for Avengers Assemble which starts the trend of every Marvel product turning into a bland copycat of the MCU. All because Loeb thinks kids are too stupid to appreciate serious storytelling in their cartoons, and everything has to be cheap action-comedies with every episode being standalone. SSM dies and we get USM because Sony loses the animation rights. And oh boy is it bad.

Peter is an unfunny and obnoxious fourth wall breaking Memepool clone. Saddled with a bunch of asshole "friends" that you will hate, who are just C-Listers Loeb wanted to shill as prep for their Netflix shows, this Peter is basically Quesada's wet dream. Immature, idiotic, fitting that they switched to adapting Slott's stories, his comic characterization of Peter was a perfect fit for this show. The USM comics aren't the gold standard for me that they are for others, but even I felt bad that the USM designs were wasted on such a garbage show. So many odd creative choices as well, why the hell was Harry made Venom? Legit didn't understand that choice then and I still don't now. Also apparently Norman Osborn was made a good guy in the later seasons (I had long since stopped watching)? Why? There's one choice that pissed me off but I totally knew why they did it:

No Mayday Spider-Girl/Woman, instead it's just a gender swapped Peter? Fuck you Marvel, even in this "progressive" era they still can't show my favorite Spider-character outside of Peter some love. Guess even having her as an alternate universe daughter still terrifies them. I chalk that up to Quesada, and likely Loeb disliked her as well. Funny that it wasn't Spider-Gwen though, was that Loeb's choice or someone else's I wonder? That this was basically the last outside media project besides the MCU to focus on Peter as the sole Spider-Man is really sad. Now Spider-Man is a "team" franchise where he's got to carry Miles (and sometimes Gwen) in everything he does.

Whole show really came and went huh? That it got more seasons than SSM is proof that we live in an unjust world, that it seems to have left zero impact on the general public, and most seem to dislike it is proof that the general audience has better taste than some might think. Probably for the best given Drake apparently committed child endangerment. Having the guy who you chose to voice Peter be a convicted criminal must put a damper on any reruns. Far as I'm concerned this whole show deserves to be forgotten, it's terrible.

[rebelcap]

We are not just friends —Part 8

Chris Evans x bi!latina!character (Sofia is a people of color, she's brown.)

Chris and Sofia meet when their best friends started dating, it all started at friends with loads of bumps on the road.

Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use (weed), assault, Chris being Steve Rogers, commitment issues, my girl Sofia kinda messy, lots of fucking (eventually)

This is slow burn at its best, at least emotionally.

Series masterlist

Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5 — Part 6 — Part 7

It's been a couple of days and Sofía finally had the time to Skype with Mandy.

“Works going great, today's been kind of long. Been interviewing a bunch of people to the assistant gig.” Sofía spoke to the computer resting on the middle of the bed, she was pointing it towards the mirror where Sofía was brushing her hair.

“That's awesome baby, don't work too hard though,” Mandy said eating an apple. “Where's Chris?”

“He had some meetings or something—” She shrugged looking back at Mandy who had her eyebrows up, lips puckering. she was waiting. “Okay, yes we did it, we had sex.”

She actually claps like a child. “I want details, bitch,” Mandy said and Sofía laugh

"I had never been fucked that deep on my life and I've been around the block,” Sofia said biting her lip. “And he's… dominant and tender. I don't know.” She waves a hand and shrugged.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Mandy said putting a hand on her chest. “It's like me with Luke, no one can fuck me as he fucks me. I totally get it—so, you guys dating now?”

“What? no.” Sofía shakes her head.

“You haven't talked about it yet?”

“A little, the other day after you helped him ambush me on the bar. But I don't know, I like him that's for sure and he likes me.”

“Well, that's a start—finally, it was like a fucking pregnancy with you two.” She laughs.

“But we're not dating, just… fucking, he's still my friend.” she shrugged

“And Chris is okay with it?”

“Why not? we were speaking that he had sex with his ex and regretted the whole thing, but I don't know, I'm convenient for him"

“And he told you that?”

“No, But—

“I don't think Chris, Chris I know thinks you're convenient.”

“But I am, I'm cool with that—I don't want anything else,” Sofía said, sitting cross-legged in front of the computer, now paying attention to her friend.

“But why not? Sof. he's not some idiot you've founded on tinder—”

“I've used tinder once!”

“That leads to the most lengthy relationship you've had—on your life!” Mandy said.

Sofía rolled her eyes. “yeah and that worked out so good, Tiffany leave me with fucking PTSD—And your point?”

“Is that I think Chris is the one you've been waiting for your whole life.” She speaks and Sofía frown. “I remember what we talked about when we were younger before shit went down—you know.”

“Yeah, I remember… I was seventeen and still a virgin. I didn't even realize that I liked women too.”

“Yeah, that doesn't matter—I mean I'm glad that you're out and proud not the point—but Isn't Chris all that you ever wanted in someone?”

“Why are you making a telenovela out of this?, I already told you—”

“I think he's great for you and you deserve great—I mean there's no men worthy of you but Chris is pretty close,” Mandy spoke as she walked on the apartment back in Boston. “I'm not telling you now, but maybe there's a future with him.”

“I don't know—how're things back there?” Sofia had abruptly change subjects and Mandy stares her through the computer.

“It's good, I miss you—”

“I miss you too, baby.”

“—no one cooks for me here and I had been back at home and mom and dad also miss you. And Ian has a crush on you.”

“Your baby bro?, He's eighteen!.” She raised her eyebrows.

“He's been asking about you a lot. When's Sofi coming?, Sofi this and Sofi that.” Mandy laughed. “It's kind of endearing.”

“Yes, he's cute maybe in a few—

“Shut the fuck up, no way in fucking hell your—Ewww!” Mandy screamed and shake her head making Sofía laugh.

“I'm fucking with you—” She smiled and her phone started ringing, it was Chris. “And speaking of.” Sofia smile showing her the phone.

“Oh, don't let me get in the way!” Mandy said and blow her a kiss and ended the call after saying goodbye.

“Hey!” She smiles letting herself fall on the bed.

“Hi baby, just gets home—I've been on the studio all day.” He said. He sounded tired, she could tell.

“You sound tired, have you eaten yet?”

“I am, dead tired.” He yawns over the phone.

“Not yet, I'm ordering something though—wanna come over? I might have a huge bag of weed.” He laughed.

“Hell yes.” She said laughing. “I'll bring some pizza, go take a shower and relax—I'll be there in a little bit,” Sofía said already getting out of bed.

“You're the best!, I'll leave the door unlocked, just get it.”

“Alright, see you on a bit.”

_____________

“Chris?” Sofia called, locking the door behind her as she walked to the empty-looking house. Dodger came running from the back to greet her. “Hey baby, where's daddy?” She asked him as he moves his tail all over. When she reached the living room he was sprawled on the couch, phone resting on his chest.

“Awh,” Sofia said putting the two pizzas on the coffee table and slide her backpack off and kneel beside him and kissed his beard. “Hey, sleepyhead.”

Chris's eyes fluffer open and his smile got to bashful that Sofia had to sigh deeply. He was so handsome, with those bright blue eyes.

“My sofi–” He spoke grabbing her from the waist and pulled her on top of him and slide his hand under her dress, sliding his hands up and down her ass.

“You tired, champ?”

“Not of this ass.” He nipped at her neck and then kissed her. “I'm hungry though, that pizza is getting me.” Chris swat at her ass and she laughs.

“Let's eat, uhm?”

Chris scooted her again and seat her beside him on the couch. They sat there as Sofia surf through Netflix trying to catch a movie.

“You do something tomorrow?” Chris asked taking another bite of his pizza.

“Nope, I mean nothing job-related.”

“Mm, I've got a birthday party. You interested?”

“Yes. free food, especially cake.” She quickly agreed, Chris snort. “who's the birthday?”

“A friend, you'll see.”

Sofía cranked her neck up from his shoulder and squinted his eyes at him. “Why you'll being all mysterious and shit?”

Chris laughed, taking a sip of his beer and shrugged.

“It's not Brad, isn't it?” She frowns.

“Why?”

“I don't like him very much.”

Chris frown, giving her one stare to elaborate on that, and Sofía sigh. “He cornered me on the kitchen and asked me if you and I were fucking, so he knows I'm off-limits. He asked me out and was kind of surprised when I said no.”

Chris pursed his lips and looked forward. “Fucking asshole. We're not really close, he's usually hanging with us, he's no longer welcome.”

Sofía bite her pizza and looked at him, not gonna lie she liked that… possessiveness on Chris even though she won't admit it. Leaving the half-eaten pizza there, she grabbed her beer and took a few gulps.

“You finish that?” She asked and Chris looked at her, throwing the pizza on the coffee table and grabbed the beer from her hand, and she giggles putting biting her nail.

“Sure as hell did.” He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her in, straddle him. Chris looked down at her bare legs as he caresses them, up and down, and then put both of his hands on her ass and squeeze it. Camila looked down and grabbed the joint Chris had previously rolled and a lighter.

“Want to?” She said putting the joint between her lips and Chris hummed at him.

Sofia light it up, throwing the lighter back at the table and took a deep drag, hold it for a moment, and put the joint on Chris's mouth.

“Fuck—” She looked up, blowing the smoke. “So good.”

“Yeah,” He blew the smoke, hand gripping her jaw, his fingers playing with her bottom lip and she opened her mouth and he slipped two fingers inside, closing her lips around them she sucked, tongue dragging up the bottom. Chris slide then out and wrap his fingers around her neck and pulled her in for a heated kiss “You've got no idea what you do to me.”

“I do,” She smiles, lazily, and press herself more against his clothed dick. “Feels so good.”

“I do,” She smiles, lazily, and press herself more against his clothed dick. “Feels so good.”

“Fuck, it does.” Chris closed his eyes, leaning his head against her chest as she started to move her hips, oh so slowly. Grabbing the joint from his fingers, she gave it another go, already feeling light and dazed.

“You're so fucking… cute,” She bit her lips while smiling cupping Chris's face. “Your eyes are so beautiful and blue and your lashes—I want them.”

Chris blushed and Sofía squeezes his face planting kisses on his forehead, his nose, and their lips.

“–Then,” She said. Putting the joint between her lips and grabbed the end of his shirt and took it off, revealing his toned body. “That. all of it—fuck. me.”

“I'm trying—” Chris chuckle, now he gave it the final drag and leave the joint on the ashtray on the table. Grabbing Sofia’s face, she opened her mouth and shotgun the smoke into her mouth.

“I'm so high, that's some good shit right there.” She hides her face on the creak of his neck and laughs, making him laugh.

“It is,” He hummed, closing his eyes as he concentrates on the butterfly kisses on his neck, she suddenly wrapped her arms around here and they just stayed there. Chris's hand kept caressing her back.

“Sofi?” He said, trying to look at her face but her soft breathing, arms going limp. Chris chuckle as he stands up, she still on his arms and carried her to the bed and tuck her in.

“Chris?” She said, barely audible as she hugged her own pillow.

“Yes? baby.” He said. Taking off his shirt and sat down on the bed to take off his shoes.

“You're my best friend, I love you.” She expressed, Chris craned his neck to see her. Eyes still closed, mouth slightly open.

“I love you too, Sof.”

“Cool.” She hummed. “I love Mandy more, she first.”

Chris let out a heartfelt laugh and slide in bed with her and scoot her to sleep on his chest and she accommodated quickly.

“Sorry about your boner.” She slurred, smiling a bit when Chris laughed again. “The fuck I've smoke?”

“It's a strand I use to relax, I've used it for a while now.”

“Relax me the fuck right, I can't open my eyes.” She gulped. “Imma drools on you, so you know.”

He laughs. “Droll me, I'll take it.”

~~

Thank everyone, so much!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Tag list.

Tag list:

@letsdothemonstermash

@lunaticbarnes

@firstangeldragonranch

@lovepeacefood

@thegirlwithpaperheart

[alphabees-writes]

Glee - S1 E1 (Pilot)

Is it a smart idea to rewatch glee again? No.

Am I going to do it anyway? You bet your sweet bippy I am!

Am I going to liveblog my garbage monkey brain thoughts along the way even though nobody asked for it? Hell yeah.

Here goes!

Wow. The first frame of this entire show is literally of a woman who looks like she’s about 10 years above the natural lifespan of a Cheerio. Then again, I’m sure Sue’s not above holding back her best recruits for multiple years because Ohio high schools are apparently just Like That™

I also never notice this opening song was a remix of Keep Me Hangin On, wow. That’s actually kind of interesting foreshadowing of sorts, like, kind of smart. I’m glad I’m watching the part of Glee that was kind of smart.

This scene also doesn’t feature any of the Unholy Trinity as far as I can see. Are they a JV squad? Am I putting too much thought into this?

Sign #1 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Really, my guy? Driving around with your muffler dragging on the ground so bad it’s making sparks? That’s not very Road Safety of you. Fuck off. 

Sign #2 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Wow, there’s going to be a lot of these, huh? Anyway, anybody with working eyes would clearly see how scared Kurt is right now. “Making some new friends Kurt?” Fuck off. 

KURT. FIRST SIGHTING OF THE BOY. What a delight. But also, not a delight, because he’s being bullied and he deserves better. Look at his outfit. Iconic from day fucking one. 

Finn, you’re a himbo. What’re you doing with these assholes?

Puck’s first line in the whole series is “It’s hammer time!” What a fucking dork? Who made this boy popular. 

DO MORE THAN TAKE HIS COAT, FINN. LET HIM GOOOOO!!!

I paused while they were tossing Kurt in the dumpster and, wow, got the most hilarious frame where the guy who isn’t Puck is getting a meticulously polished boot to the face. Netflix let me take screenshots, you coward.

The first shot of Quinn... My wlw bones are shaking.

Why would they use that photo for Lillian Adler...? WHO WAS BORN IN 1937, MIGHT I ADD. THAT’S NOT A REAL YEAR. 

It’s weird to see Mr Schue actually speaking competent Spanish. Why did they veto that later? The ONE likeable thing about him was his competence as a school teacher, and they really threw it out the window huh?

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE MEMBERS OF SANDY RYERSON’S GLEE CLUB??? This kid seems to really like singing. Also, welcome to the beginning of Ryerson being annoying as all hell.

Oh my gosh, the background choir stuff. This show really had style back in the day!!!

R A C H E L B E R R Y Y O U R M A K E U P ! ! !

Ken Tanaka walked so incels could run.

Jane Lynch you beauty. You absolutely impeccable beauty. 

“Since when are cheerleaders performers?” Uh... Emma...? I get that Sue’s going ham on her budget but, like, be nice to the students? They perform their butts off!

Sue really just BRAGGED about having an iPhone. I was 9 when this came out. Why do I feel old...

Sign #3 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He hears his coworker, presumably of several years, just got fired and doesn’t even ask why. He just jumps on the glee club like a frog on hot asphalt. 

He really wants to Make The Glee Club Great Again, huh? 

MySpace was really a thing, huh? And why does this grown-ass male teacher know so much about the students having them?

I know nothing about actual American schools, but I do know that they sure as shit don’t work like this. Why does a club have to win EVERY competition to be considered an asset?

Mr Shoe really lying awake at night half-naked next to his wife thinking about the glee club already? Yeah sounds about right. Also, of course you’d think up Nude Erections for a name, you asshole. Put some clothes on.

R E S P E C T MERCEDES YES!!!

Brad the piano player was really here from day ONE... Icon.

Cellophane, Mr Cellophane... Yes Kurt bby you killed it. 

Chris Colfer looks so YOUNG here!!! 

The hair fix... I C O N I C !

Tina really wrote her stutter down, huh? And nobody ever saw through it? Amazing. 

The goth Tina look, too... Perfect... Never change...

Say what you want about Rachel Berry being generally insufferable, but I really fucking feel it when she sings On My Own. The monologue kind of kills The Drama of it, but they really solidly established her character by layering them. She really is a gold star right now.

The first-ever on-screen slushie!

The way she walks down that hall. My God you can just see how terrible she is to be around.

Never forget Rachel staring at photos of her with two men who turned out to not be her dads. Who are they? What are their stories? We’ll never know.

God, I love this stupid scene of Quinn, Santana, and a bunch of Cheerios cartoonishly typing hate comments on Rachel’s MySpace video and laughing like knock-off Disney villains. 

I like watching season 1 Artie because season 1 Artie was a good character. Mostly. And he KILLED Sit Down, You’re Rocking The Boat. Rachel wasn’t asking for a male lead who could keep up with her vocally, she was being straight up ableist and that’s a fact. I love Cory, but Kevin McHale was always a better singer.

Mercedes picking up and spinning Rachel for this little routine is something I never really appreciated before, it’s cute even though they don’t like each other yet!

I really don’t get why Rachel says they suck. Yeah, sure, she’s gunning for a solo, but the vocals were solid there. The choreo was just a little janky, possibly because it’s their first EVER rehearsal?

“There is NOTHING ironic about show choir!” Incredible.

How long did it take Mr Shoe to find Rachel out on the bleachers? Did he search the whole school first?

ARTIE! CAN! KEEP! UP! WITH! YOU! VOCALLY!

I never understood Rachel quitting so soon. How long was she in the old glee club for? Surely they were never popular either?

Ah, the first “My hands are tied” for the series. Mr Figgins is a garbage principal. 

Not going to advise the principal against referring to Artie as a cripple, William Shoestir? Alright. 

How did the Schuester marriage last as long as it has? Do Will and Terri’s insufferable personalities just cancel one another out?

Sandy Ryerson really just openly brags about cheating the system for medical marijuana and dealing it? 

Matt Morrison 100% has lip fillers. Nobody’s smile curls like that naturally.

“Terri and I are trying to get pregnant” What a weird way to phrase it. What is it, a race? Who’s going to get knocked up first!

A FIFTH OF BEETHOVEN, HOW I’VE MISSED YOU... The sound design of this show at this point is just... *Chef hand kiss*

“What you’re doing right now is called blurring the lines” Oh just wait until season 4, Sue... Just you wait.

WHY is Mr Schuester so ridiculously sweaty? I didn’t need to think about that?

EVERYONE on the football team is 30.

William Schuester you can’t just watCH TEENAGE STUDENTS SING IN THE SHOWER YOU ARE A TEACHER WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR LICENSE?! 

Hearing Cory sing this always makes me emotional. What a talent!

Sign #4 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: I don’t think I need to say why using the weed to blackmail Finn is a shitty thing to do, do I?

“I’ll pee in a cup! ...I’ll pee...” I love Cory’s delivery. 

PRIORITY #1: HELP THE KIDS Oh season 1... I love you so.

Mr Schue you WISH you were anything like Finn Hudson. You never will be.

Ah... Finn’s first monologue. He’s such a sweetheart. AND SO IS CAROLE. Carole is a queen I will stan forever. YOU THROW THAT MILK BB!!!

All Finn wants to do is make his mom proud. What a sweetheart. Mr Schue you do NOT deserve him.

These POV shots really enhance things, why the fuck did they stop using them?

Subtly having Kurt look at Finn in the same shot as Rachel was a nice touch indeed!

RACHEL WAS REALLY DOWN WITH ROLLING ARTIE RIGHT OFF THE STAGE HUH?

Terri’s a straight up hoarder, huh? Like a raccoon but instead of collecting edible garbage, it’s monogrammed garbage.

Surely you can’t just... BECOME an accountant, right? You need some serious qualifications for that right?

Also say what you want about how insufferable Terri is but her actress is ridiculously talented and absolutely steals every scene she’s in.

Now the background choir is doing Soul Bossa Nova and I am L I V I N G why didn’t they keep that motif!!! It was so ICONIC!

I don’t need my prostate removed. RIP Carole Hudson but I’m different :/

NO MEANS NO, KEN! TAKE THE L AND MOVE ON! Way to take out the fact that a girl won’t date you on everybody else around you! Toxic bastard. The absolute stench of melodrama on this bastard is noxious.

I was going to ask why Rachel didn’t know about Finn and Quinn if they’d already been together for 4 months, but then I remembered gossiping requires friends...

“Terri rides me. Hard. And I’ve always appreciated it!” Why don’t we talk about how this line sounds more. Why doesn’t Emma bat an eye at it oh my god

HERE COMES VOCAL ADRENALINE!!! And Jesse St. James is nowhere to be seen. How convenient. Also, they’re all 30. I’m sensing a pattern.

Sorry VA, all songs popularised my Amy Winehouse legally belong to Santana Lopez

Puck, if you were stupid enough to fall for the prostate excuse, that’s on you. Or maybe it’s on the education system...

You can do better that Mr Schue, kids. Don’t mourn him.

Ok, what the fuck is this scene where he’s filling out the job app to become an accountant? There’s a dude in the row in front off him just throwing crisps around? What is this place?? Why are you here sir??? 

“Accounting is sexy” shut up you horrible married man

The Cheerios sure did have straight ponytails for like, one episode, huh?

Finn is such a good boy. He doesn’t know it yet, but he is, and saving Artie from that portapotty is his first step to figuring it out.

This shot of Finn just wheeling Artie out of there... Ugh. My HEART.

KURT WHAT ARE THOSE LAYERS? SWEATER SHIRT SWEATER? HELLO???

Pee balloons. Nailing the lawn furniture to the roof. Finn, you’re better than that!!! Stop your dudebros. 

They really had Artie be a guitar player, and a pretty good one at that, but they never mentioned it again? Artie had such potential SMH. (Also, Netflix subtitles are telling me it’s Arty, but I categorically refuse to spell it that way.)

Whyyyyy didn’t he go to KURT for the costumes as well? Look at his outfit, Finn. He clearly wants in on that job. 

Will Schuester really is just desperately clinging to his glory days in high school. I’d feel bad for him if he wasn’t such a creep about it. 

Emma, meaningfully: Do you know who that is? That’s you, Will... [FRANTIC DISCO MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND]

I find it hilarious how the audio of Don’t Stop Believin’ just DOES NOT match the characters except for the solos... Also wow, autotune city. Am I awful for genuinely not liking this cover? 

I like watching them perform it though. Kurt’s adorable little shimmy... Rachel and Tina smiling at each other like that... Everybody having a blast... I’m here for it

LOOK AT MY BABIES TILTING THOSE MIC STANDS...

Ok the way Rachel and Finn look at each other here is making me FEEL

I know Puck’s about to join anyway but WHY is he there watching... Just to have a mysterious bad boy moment? Lol you dramatic bastard

Please let them win nationals without you, Will.

So, yeah! There’s that! Those are my thoughts and feelings, basic though they may be. Episode one is fantastic, the kids are fantastic, and William Schuester can suck a toe. 

[luna-lime]

The deal that's "13 reasons why" part I

I've been dying to watch season 3 since the last season ended. It ended with a cliffhanger, they left us with the image of Clay Jensen, standing in-front of the gym with a gun in his hands. With Tyler, who was beyond damaged and had his motives. With Jessica and Justin's uncertain future, so Alex's too. They left us wondering about Chloë and her pregnancy with Bryce's baby. I just remember how the last shot faded away, just as Hannah Baker. We let her go, just like Clay did. And to be fair and honest with you, I loved Hannah back and beyond. She grew on me you guys, she really did. I am not saying that every reason what she stated as a reason for her suicide was subjective, but that's the past. Hannah is gone, forever really and the others have to deal with consequences of her death and their part in it, no matter how big or small it is. I thought we would get gun violence in the next season, maybe something about Tyler's motives. But we got a whole bunch of a different story. 

This story is Bryce Walker's story. His redemption story, his arch to finish. When the first announcement came, with the hastag #whokilledbrycewalker I remember feeling, good about him being dead. I know this sounds so bad, even if he is just a fictional character. But people like him do exist, so basically he isn't too fictional, now is he? Everyone wanted Bryce to pay for what he has done to Jessica, Hannah, Chloë and a bunch of other girls. I am saying it right here and right now: TAKING AN ADVANTAGE OF A GIRL/BOY, NO MATTER IF CONCIOUS OR NOT IS NOT OKAY. SHOULDN'T BE TOLERATED AND CAN SCAR ONE FOR LIFE. Or take their life for that matter. We are like the kids from Libery High School. We despise the one named Bryce Walker. For two season, Bryce was the main antagonist of the series, without any sign of change. He was lying on the trial for Hannah Baker about their relationship. He wanted Hannah, genuinely. That was the first time I felt, like maybe Bryce can have a soft side and be actually nice. You all remember that right? He cared for Hannah, he liked Hannah in the beginning. But his ego couldn't take the rejection she gave him, to be just "friends". So he did what he knew best, getting what he wanted the way he wanted. He himself just said it, he is "a privileged and rich white kid". He was used to getting everything in his life, no matter what way he did it. Well and if the girl he wanted, wasn't keen on giving in consensually, he was going to take it without consent and any piece of guilt. But was he really? This whole post will be/is dedicated just to Bryce Walker, since now he apparently got his own season. So I think, you shouldn't read this if you haven't finished the season yet. This is A SPOILER WARNING. From this way forward I will write spoilers so, please come back to this post when you are finished. If you are interested in a random babbling of a random chick on the internet. 

So Bryce Walker wanted to change huh? In this season we got to see Bryce and his actions before his death, just like we got to see Hannah in the flashbacks. What do I say? Where do I start? Maybe with this simple sentence: Bryce didn't deserve to die. Yes, yes now half of you will come at me with the argument: BUT HE RAPED GIRLS AND THAT SHOULDN'T BE FORGOTTEN. I didn't forget, none of it. Can the worst of the worst redeem themselves? Trough the season, Bryce was realizing that the things he has done weren't the right ones and he was taking the responsibility for what he has done. It was there, just like a shadow, following him everywhere, in every hour of the day. In his new school, he was immediately recognized as the "rapist" who should FUCK OFF. He was known as the rapist in his old school and in the whole entire city basically. It was like, he had it written all over his back and forehead. The only one who didn't know about Bryce and his history was Ani. Well Ani... I don't really like Ani, but since she is the only person who narrated this story and from whose point of view we got the most flashbacks, I need to lean on her, no matter how unreliable of a narrator she was. He wanted to start, fresh and clean with her. To work his way back up to the normal society, without people shaming him and putting this rapist label all over him. So in one way, I can understand Ani. She didn't know him as much as the others, she didn't know and he could be very charming indeed. To be honest, I found myself being charmed by Bryce time to time, just to remind myself that no... It's Bryce Walker, he is a rapist and that's no good. I was convinced, for the majority of the season that yes, he definitely does deserve to die. I didn't know who killed him, but whoever did, just made everyone a huge favor. He basically lost everything, the moment he touched Hannah Baker and Jessica Davis. A chain reactions, just like chemistry or the butterfly effect, however you want to call it. This was the consequence of his actions and he had to deal with it. He wanted to redeem himself. I was like: "Bullshit, not possible." I was literally turning my eyes upside down every time he tried to play on my feelings. Bryce Walker crying? Bullshit. Bryce Walker being all lovey-dovey? Aw hell no. Bryce Walker realizing that what he has done was wrong? Not fucking possible boy. Indeed, it is possible. As the story progressed and I was getting closer and closer to the end, it was harder and harder to not feel for Bryce. It was their intention the whole time anyways, maybe they got me. Maybe they didn't, I don't know. But I felt that he really wanted to change and I realized two things then and there. 

Death is like a redemption for him, he leaves behind all his troubles. That is why Bryce Walker didn't deserve to die. And second, the burden he was taking for his actions was huge, that was his punishment. That was supposed to be his punishment, not being able to belong again. Because of what he has done, because everyone knew. He was supposed to be punished this way and not be given the golden ticked to hell. By killing Bryce, he just got rid of every guilt he had, because he was no more. I think living with the realization of what you've done is worse than dying. Knowing that you destroyed lives, taken a life in fact. Just because you are a white, privileged, rich asshole kid who can't keep his dick in his pants. That is why I think, he didn't deserve to die. He is at ease now, with him staying, he wouldn't be. We don't kill people who killed others. We lock them up, leave them with their own thoughts and memories, to suffer it trough until the day they die. And they die, still with the thought of what have they done. I don't know what Bryce Walker was thinking the moment Alex held him above the fence, just the moments he threw him over to the water. I will never know, we won't ever know. It's fiction anyways but... Bryce Walker didn't deserve to die. To suffer because of his memories would have been much much of a worse punishment than death. 

And my last question is: Can the worst of the worst redeem themselves? Yes, everyone can, if there is the willingness. Bryce was willing to change, to accept what he has done. He apologized to Jessica, even if he knew that it wouldn't take back what he has done. He apologized to Mrs. Baker, knowing that it won't bring Hannah back. He knew it very well, but no matter of anything, he tried. And I think he really cared for Ani and his mother. He cared for Hannah, remember?  Bryce Walker was a monster. Bryce Walker was a monster, still willing to change. And yes I know, it won't take back anything he ever did. I think Bryce knew it too, his mother knew it, Ani knew it in the end too. As he said, he is trying but the world is not letting him. Not letting him to take of that label of the rapist, part murdered in Hannah's case. And I know everyone is saying, that Netflix just tried to makes us feel sorry for Bryce. I am not saying, I am sorry. I just see that he tried. He wanted to but he never got the change to finish it. I will miss Bryce's character for that matter, because he was an interesting one and he made a lot of the storylines tied together. 

Kuddos to Justin Prentice for bringing him to life for three whole seasons. I am sure, taking a role of a rapist must be hard, to know how much backslash you will get. Because obviously some people still don't understand that he is not his character. So thank you Justin, for doing the best of yours and giving us Bryce. I just have a soft spot for Justing I guess. Thank you all for reading this, rebbloging it, sending it forward, liking it. It means a lot to me and I am not yet finished. If you are in a need of help, not feeling good, please look for help. In your mom, dad, sister, brother, friends or a school staff. For more, visit 13reasonswhy.info Mental health shouldn't be taken at ease. Your life is important, not just to you but to so many around you.

[tessatechaitea]

The Extremist #3

I'm disappointed that this half picture doesn't match up exactly with the half picture from Issue #2.

It's probably good I didn't post any of the blurbs that tried to bribe him with a handjob in the backroom of the Portland Comic-con.

Anyway, let's see what happened in "July, Nineteen Ninety-Three"! I'll try to baby it up so Tumblr doesn't shit its diapers.

Peter Milligan begins this issue all Peter Milligany.

Remember that this was written in 1993 when Peter Milligan makes mention of how a person could, at some point, be alone in anything. But also imagine now how the death of an intimate would go in 2019. Back in 1993, Judy is surprised to find that she's whisked away from her grief for long interludes by the bureaucratic machinations of a death in a capitalist democracy. This same kind of thing probably still happens except with more texts and emails and less phone conversations and driving to speak to people in person. But also imagine the non-bureaucratic side of death. We probably have far less close intimate contacts in our physical space now than we had in 1993, at least by percentage when compared with all people we would consider contacts (intimates who now live in another part of the world, people we know only from online, friends of friends we've maybe met once but now sometimes interact with over social media). In 1993. it would be phone calls and personal visits with flowers and cake or cookies. In 2019, you probably receive a deluge of crying emojis and people replying "*hugs*" to your post about your world crumbling beneath you as you try to stagger on with your remaining years bereft of the person you thought you could never live without. I suppose there are plenty of apps where people could send you cakes and cookies so I suppose it wouldn't be too terrible. Should I create an app that sends cakes and cookies to people when they've lost a loved one? It wouldn't cost anything. You'd just have to send me a small cake and some cookies with every use of the app! I can't wait to get extraordinarily fat! The journey is going to be so worth it!

Grief is a savory, selfish feast.

Peter Milligan has a way of expressing potent, terrible truths in such a casual manner that most people probably don't even notice them. There's an almost expressible power in believing you're experiencing something that nobody else has or will ever experience. Or just in knowing that you lived a part of your life unknown to your closest friends and family. I cherish, greedily, the moments of my life spent alone and far from those closest to me and I parcel them out as stories in only the most meager of manners. Hell, I've probably told more about myself and my experiences here on this blog exactly because I know my friends and family don't read it. I might say this every commentary until this series is over but I still don't know if I understand the point of the overall plot. But I do understand that the plot is a way for Peter Milligan to be Peter Milligan. I understand the need for a framework to say things you want to say. Or to just put scenes out there that you don't want to bother encasing in some kind of larger whole that you're less interested in. So here's another scene Peter Milligan had to have thought about and then needed a place to mention it:

Of course people still get horny for their dead partner! But how often does anybody talk about it?! Maybe it's common and I'm just consuming the wrong kinds of media. Alex Trebek never once asked a contestant if they jerk off thinking about their dead spouse!

Netflix's Dead to Me has some pretty frank discussions about the loss of a spouse but while Christina Applegate talks about being horny and wanting to fuck somebody, I don't think she ever says she masturbates thinking about her dead husband. If the point of this story is about dealing with loss, I'm beginning to get it. And that would completely explain why I missed it at twenty-one. I'm only three pages into this issue and it's kicking me in the face with existential issues. Was I too dumb at twenty-one to understand any of this or just too sheltered to really feel it? Maybe I was just too fucking young. Judy finds the key to Jack's Extremist apartment. After looking around the place, she thinks, "It was like having Jack die all over again, but this death seemed more profound. 'I never knew you,' I thought." It's an easy statement to point out that nobody ever really knows anybody. But once, because Jim Starling wrote a terrible run on Stormwatch, I wrote an entire rant about how we all hide our innermost dark secrets from even the greatest loves of our lives. I was essentially asking how can we know anyone if we won't even let those closest to us know our most vulnerable thoughts and terrible crimes (I don't mean crimes in the law and order sense! I just mean like that time you put your finger in your ass and then made sandwiches for your friends and they all got sick and you didn't do it on purpose but you made the connection and nobody must ever fucking know! You know, those kinds of crimes. But not that specific one! I totally just made that one up for effect). So I could repeat myself or just link to the rant or just (and — Spoiler! — this is the choice I'm going with!) move on to page five of this comic book. Judy discovers an old diary written by The Extremist (but not Jack!). Then she finds some of the tapes he burned and salvages a few. She hears Jack speaking about murder and getting pissed on and, most appallingly, calling her "poor dull dead little Judy." She smashes the place up, finds The Extremist's gimp suit, and tries it on thinking, "What the fuck?! Maybe I'll feel sexy and start speaking in sex metaphors!" Then the phone rings. And I suppose the rest is history! And by history, I mean Issue #1! Except I'm only on page seven so maybe I'm jumping the gun. I guess we need to learn how Judy met Patrick and why she decided her life would be better by going out at night murdering people until she comes hard in a leather suit. Oh, I hope that last sentence wasn't too adult for Tumblr! A bunch of pages are taken up by the plot stuff that I apparently paid the most attention to in 1993 and which is the least interesting part of the story (so far!). Patrick "accidentally" runs into Judy and he pretends he doesn't know who killed Jack. He offers to help her find out if she'll pose as The Extremist and do murders and blow jobs for him. Judy is all, "What the hell! Maybe I'll understand Jack a little more! Maybe I'll know why he needed a boring piece of shit like me when he was having such fantastic fuck and murder adventures!" No wait. That's what I would say. Judy just wants to find out who killed Jack and to, maybe, feel a little closer to him. I don't think she's as amped up as I would be about the loads of indiscriminate sex and murdering of the most perverse perverts. The main story ends with Judy making her first kill. She learns that her problem was that she was always living in the past and the future. So even if she had wanted to kill somebody in the moment before, she'd be all tangled up in the past and whether the person deserved it and maybe some of it was her fault and perhaps she's been too hasty with her murder decision. And she'd also be lost in the future like how the person will stop existing and how she might wind up in prison and how the victim's guts are going to be hell to clean up off the floor. But in the moment, she can just satisfy the need without consequence or conscience! She discovers it's a thrill! Well, I could have told her that! I've been playing Dungeons and Dragons since I was ten! Never worry about what the orc did or if it deserved it or if it has family or if you're actually the asshole raiding its lovely home! The actual issue ends with Tony, the black guy on the stoop, sitting in The Extremist's apartment listening to Judy's tapes. He's just finished the last one where she says she's going off to kill Patrick and he's completely caught up in the drama. He wants to know who killed who just as badly as, well, not me but I'm sure some readers were on the edge of their seat at this point. The Extremist #3 Rating: B. I don't find myself caring about the framework. But Peter Milligan has thoughts and those thoughts are well worth the admission price to this story. In a way, this is just an extension of his run on Shade the Changing Man. It's almost the same story if you squint your eyes and unfocus your vision and punch yourself in the genitals. Patrick is the guy on Meta who was pulling the strings to get Shade to go into the Area of Madness and eventually Earth (I forget his name! I bet it was Patrick!) And The Extremist is Shade and Kathy too (they both have similarities to both Judy and Jack, so I don't mean to say either Shade or Kathy is essentially one or the other). The Extremist has crazy missions where they kill and fuck just like Shade and Kathy had! I think. I mean, probably! And Tony is just Lenny in someway that I haven't spent any time thinking about but they were the only characters left!

[1d-5sosuperwholock]

So annoyed over the Luther Hate!

Contains somes spoilers!! This may be long so I’m sorry!!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻😅

Oh my goodness. So I just finished the Umbrella Academy show on Netflix and loved it! It was great. I went on tumblr expecting some fun gifs or comments about the show only to be bombarded by a bunch of Luther hate! People calling him asshole and idiot! Like really!!!??? Sorry for the long ass rant but it’s 4 in the morning and I’m fucking heated!

Out of all the villains in this show everyone just wants to talk shit about Luther. I have barely read anything on freaking Harold Jenkins, who fucking killed people. Or freaking Cha-Cha who just couldn’t let Hazel live his own life. But NOOO everyone just has to talk about how “annoying Luther is” or how much of an “asshole” he is or even “how disgusting he is to love ALLISON”.

So from my perspective on Luther’s character he always thought he had to be the leader. Hell he was even trained from a baby to live up to he name “number one” . His whole life he tried to prove his worth to his father (not gonna even talk about how messed up the dad was) and did everything he could to live up to the name. And then after his near death experience where he was turned into part gorilla he probably felt unworthy of the name. He even thought that his dad sent him to the moon because he couldn’t stand to see him like that. Do you know how broken and lost he must have felt? But NOOO Nobody talks about that. I understand that the others went through just as much shit but can we not diesregard Luther’s trauma! I’m not saying he’s perfect or wasn’t rude as heck to his siblings but he sure as hell doesn’t deserve all this hate.

And about the whole moon thing. People are seriously annoyed about how much he talks about how traumatic it was to be on the moon for 4 FUCKING YEARS?? He was on the FUCKING MOON thinking that he was partaking in some grand mission given to him by his dad. Then to find out that it all was a lie! Does nobody have the decency to empathize with him over that?? And yeah he kept on connecting everything to the moon mission because that had been his main goal and life for 4 years!! He had only been back for a couple days so sorry if he couldn’t let it go!! 😡 his whole life he never made any friends, never had an intimate relationship with anyone (excluding Allison) , and after the accident he was even ashamed of his own body! AND not to mention that the one person that he has been trying to please his whole life was lying to him about so many things and sent him to the moon for 4 FUCKING YEARS to be isolated and alone!! Sorry I keep on exaggerating the mooon thing but that’s no easy experience! So for everyone making it seem like it’s something he should “get over” really needs to think about it how they would feel being sent to the moon by the person you trust the most!

And now to the freaking Vanya situation. Yes he should have tried to talk with her. But can we TRY for just one second to see it from his perspective. He just went though a night of hell wondering if Allison was gonna live or die. He also just found out that the people he trusted the most have been lying to him about Vanya, and the moon mission. He was feeling betrayed as hell!! And then to hear that Vanya actually has powers and was the one that slit Allison’s throat. That’s a lot to take in!! It’s not Vanyas fault that she can’t control her powers but Luther doesn’t really know that. All he knows is that Vanya tried to kill Allison and could very much hurt herself and others. So he locked her up. He didn’t go on a rampage to kill her for hurting Allison, he didn’t hurt her physically to make up for what she did. No! He simply locked her up so she wouldn’t hurt anybody. Once again trying to be leader he was brainwashed to be since he was born. And he does care for her. He even says I’m sorry before he puts her in that cell. I know saying sorry doesn’t change anything or that it was the right choice but can people stop making him out to be some evil villain! He has made some messed up decisions but so has everyone else in the show! He has had a traumatic life just like everyone one of the siblings and we shouldn’t belittle it just because some may not find it as severe enough! If we can sympathize with the other siblings then why can’t understand Luther.

I have even read that some people think he doesn’t give a shit about his siblings besides Allison. They all love each other!! Yeah he didn’t notice that Klaus went missing or even tried to reach out to Vanya but so didn’t Diego or Five. And I don’t want to talk shit about them because I love them too but why is all the blame being out on Luther.

Now I understand that everyone is entitled to their own opinions about certain characters so if you don’t agree with mine then I can’t really do anything about it. I just hope that this post helps some people understand Luther a little more and maybe not hate on him so much. Anyways thanks for reading my 4 in the morning rant. Watch the show!! It’s awesome!!

[xfirechickx]

Arrow Rewrite

So I’ve (finally) caught up with the latest seasons of all the DCTV shows on Netflix, and to the utter surprise of no one, including myself, Arrow has definitely not gotten any better since the first two seasons, and the only good thing that’s come out of this train wreck of a show since killing off the Black Canary, is bringing Katie Cassidy back as the Black Siren. But still, to say that this show is a huge disappointment is a gross understatement, so much so, that the only reason I still watch is for Katie and for the annual crossovers. But, to actually make keeping up with the show tolerable, I had to pretty much mentally rewrite most of the show and headcanon the shit out of it, and make my way through with all the denial I can manage. So, this is how I like to pretend that the show actually went. And even though I doubt anyone will read this - this is more for my getting my thoughts down -  bear in mind, this is super anti F*licity with all the nolicity feelings I have. Also, after reading a whole bunch of posts with the same feelings as me, this became a sort of mashed clusterfuck of ideas that came together from everywhere.

SO first of all, Laurel is a metahuman, you know, like she should have been. What the fuck was the idea behind not giving her actual powers? That’s just stupid. So yeah, either Laurel was in Central City when the particle accelerator exploded, or some other freak accident gave her the canary cry. I don’t care how it happened, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that Laurel is the team’s meta, and it caused her to want to don a mask even before Sara was killed.

Next, I’d like to think that she got the hang of street fighting a lot faster. Like, I appreciate that it took her awhile to be able to handle herself on the streets, but this “Oliver is the best fighter” mindset is absolute bullshit. Ik we’ve all been thinking of the Arrow as a bargain-bin Batman (and the horrendous bullet we dodged that was the mere suggestion that F*licity could ever be anything close to Oracle didn’t help), but I am so sick of Oliver’s fighting abilities being thought of as if he was the freaking Batman. Bullshit. I’ll admit, Oliver can fight and hold his own; he’d have to to be a vigilante facing down supervillains on a constant basis, that’s fine. But the Black Canary is one of the best fighters in the DC universe, and I will be damned if that was never acknowledged here. 

So the way I see it, Laurel not only kept up with Oliver and Roy while on patrol, but after he came back from his new life in Ivy Town, Oliver comes to realize that she’s actually better than him. Like, I want them to be out on the field, and she’s literally outdoing him at every turn. And at first, he’s all, “Damn, I must be a bit rusty,” but it becomes clear after a couple more episodes, when he no longer has that excuse, that she’s actually running circles around him, whether it’s on patrol or while they’re sparring. In fact, I want an entire scene of them sparring in the bunker, and as distracted as everyone else is doing their own thing, everyone can clearly see that she’s holding back, and Oliver thinks that her head’s just not in it.

Oliver: Come on, I know you can do better than that!

Laurel: Nah, it’s okay. This is a good pace.

Oliver: Come on, you’ll never get better if you don’t give it your all. Let me have it!

And then she brutally knocks him on his ass.

“Lucky shot,” he grumbles as he gets up and gets ready for another round, and Laurel has a look on her face that’s almost annoyed, but honestly, she’s been waiting for forever to knock him down a peg. Diggle, Thea, and Roy are trying not to laugh in the background.

And speaking of Thea and Roy, holy shit, Roy doesn’t leave! Whoever came up with that idea needs a good smack. Team Arrow comes up with literally any other plan and Roy fucking stays! Thea, is instead given the mantle Artemis with her own outfit. Yeah, ik it still wouldn’t give us the Artemis Crock storyline, but it’s still better than the Evelyn Sharp bullshit that we ended up with. We currently have two tech geniuses on the team, what’s wrong with three archers? They could continue having their relationship ups and downs as subplots as the show goes on. I would even like that at some point, they decide to get their own place together, and Thea decides to sell her old apartment (you know, the one she was brutally stabbed in) to afford a nice one with Roy. And I would like F*licity try in vain to hide how much of an asshole she is by getting all indignant about it. Like, Thea offers to sell it to F*licity first, but she tries to spin it like, “You didn’t want it anymore, so I took it, so it’s mine now?” And everyone’s like, “What? No, that’s literally her apartment, which she bought with her father’s money? Idk how the hell it came to be thought of as yours anyway?” And she eventually has to break down and either buy it or move out because Thea and Roy have their hearts set on getting their own place.

As far as nolicity goes, I always thought that they would at some point have a brief relationship (a ship that I originally didn’t care for, but quickly became my ultimate notp) which would be doomed from the start due to having little to no romantic chemistry, and even though F*licity definitely had a strong sexual attraction to Oliver, she mostly seemed to view him as an older brother; or at least, Oliver viewed her as a slightly annoying younger sister.

But because of Guggenheim’s constant interference, the will-they-won’t-they crap just kept dragging on and on and on until holy fuck I have negative five care points to spend on these two assholes, just give me more BC! Their relationship has to be the most boring aspect of the show, something that’s definitely not helped by the fact that F*licity is an emotionally abusive and manipulative piece of shit Mary Sue. Seriously, for the amount of times that she’s been really vocal about how hypocritical and controlling she is, it just boggles the mind how few times anyone has called her out for it. I say few, because it has happened before, twice I believe, once by Oliver, who calmly insisted, “Enough,” and once by Ray Palmer after she threw his dead fiance in his face. Classy lady, isn’t she? But the farther this show goes on, the more she gets away with and the more infuriating it is that Oliver becomes the bad guy in her place. And holy shit the fact that literally everyone needs to assure Oliver - and the audience - that they are, in Guggenheim’s world, the perfect couple. I honestly can’t tell anymore if he actually believes this, and is just trying to shove his own weird obsession with EBR down everyone else’s throats, or if he’s just trying to get those of us who don’t like the ship to come to the dark side. Either way, I’m not buying any of this shit. SO, for every time that there’s a character to remind everyone how “good” Oliver and F*licity are together, take a shot, and then block out their words and then replace them with various observances and reassurances on Oliver’s behalf. I’d like to think that those closest to him, like Diggle, Laurel, and Thea were totally ready to call F*licity out on her shit whenever she started taking things out on Oliver, but he would subtly shake his head and calmly assure them later on that “F*licity’s right, I’m wrong. But no really guys, we’re totally happy together, I’d just appreciate it if you guys not confront her because she’s the queen of right on every subject ever and I’m just lucky to be with her.” 

And the rest of Team Arrow just reluctantly agrees not to say anything unless Oliver is the one to bring up that he has a problem with her, but are totally ready to throw down at moment’s notice. Even people outside of Team Arrow notice it and tend to comment, with characters like Mick and Constantine on the crass side of the spectrum with phrases like “Does she occasionally let you take your balls out of her purse?” and more sensitive words from people like Barry and Sara, who actually try to get it through his head that, despite what F*licity says, not everything is his fault, and he does not deserve to be kicked around by her over situations that he had little to no control over (Samantha and William, anyone?)

And then there’s Damien Darhk. Hoo boy, my hate towards him killing Laurel burns with the fury of a thousand suns. There was literally no reason for it, you know, besides eliminating her as a threat to Nolicity. Except, she wasn’t even a threat?? It was pretty clear that Laurel and Oliver weren’t even considering a romantic relationship, and even I, as a hardcore GA/BC shipper, didn’t even want them to get back together at this point. Despite the unintentional victimization of Oliver, Laurel absolutely did not deserve any of his shit. So, as much as I wished that F*licity was the one who died, Laurel was still targeted by Darhk in order to get back at Lance, but she doesn’t just die and that’s it! She gets to be critically injured - getting intentionally stabbed by a former member of the League of Assassins tends to be pretty life-threatening - but she does get to heal while in the hospital and make it back out onto the field to continue as BC.

Hell, I’d even be okay with her actually dying that night if, and only if, they brought her back. For a universe based on superhero comic books, Guggenheim and company seemed to have totally forgotten (or just outright ignored) how often characters get brought back from the dead, at times in pretty nonsensical ways. But here, there was a way to conceivably bring her back; there were three in fact: In Arrow, the Lazarus pits would have been available; Flash could have brought her back with the introduction of Flashpoint, or you know, Sara, who happens to captain a fucking timeship could have brought her back, either by manipulating the timeline, or by pulling a Kingsmen II and had just shown up right after Darhk stabbed Laurel to revive her. I would’ve happily gone along with Team Arrow believing that Laurel was dead if the plot twist was that the Legends brought her aboard the Waverider so that Gideon could heal her.

Sidenote: ik that this would have never have happened simply because all of the Arrowverse shows have to check in with each other to some degree so that they’re all on the same page, but wouldn’t it have been absolutely fan-fucking-tastic if, after Arrow had confirmed that BC was for sure dead and wasn’t coming back, that Flash and LoT just totally undermined it. Like, if Laurel was brought back with either Flashpoint or the Waverider, and KC’s just hanging out on a different set while Arrow just tries its damnedest to discredit them?

Arrow: She’s dead.

Flash/LoT: Well she was, but she got better.

Arrow: She’s def not coming back.

Flash/LoT: Not until you learn to be nice to her anyway.

Arrow: She’s not the real Laurel. Our Laurel is D E A D

Flash/LoT: Nope, this is definitely her, and she’s going on cool adventures with us because SHE’S A DAMN GOOD CHARACTER AND YOU DICKBAGS NEVER DESERVED HER

All the while more of Arrow’s fans flock to every show except Arrow until the assholes in charge of the decision to kill Laurel finally have to (publicly) beg to have her back because literally no one will watch their shitty show anymore without BC, and then they’re forced to respect her character and give her a fair amount of screen time. That would just be poetic justice in my book.

So as season 5 kicks off, Oliver, Roy, AND Laurel take in and train the new recruits to join Team Arrow. I don’t have much to change about this season except that since Laurel isn’t dead, and as much as I like Juliana Harkavy, there’s literally no reason to bring in Dinah Drake. Also the shared hallucination in the Invasion! crossover partially rekindles the romance between Laurel and Oliver, which actually feels pretty heartfelt and like it could possibly lead to them getting back together for real. 

And then F*licity ruins it because that’s what she does.

F*licity and Oliver get back together and things progress normally, with the rest of Team Arrow quietly building up a resentment towards the abusiveness of their relationship. I’d also like to think that since Curtis had progressed as a team member, that there’s a slight undertone of “what is she even here for anymore?” among them. Like, whenever she butts in with her hypocritical opinions, someone else will actually step in like, “Hey, you’ve had a long day, so why don’t you go ahead and go home. Don’t worry, Curtis knows what he’s doing, so we’ve got this. Yes, we’ll call you if we need something, but don’t worry. You’ve worked hard today! You deserve a break!” Meanwhile, the rest of the team is literally patching themselves back together with bandages and whatnot, blood and sweat everywhere, all giving each other The Look™ when she nods like, “Yeah, you’re right, I could use a hot meal and a shower. Plus, this tracking system is so simple an idiot could use it, just try not to fuck it up while I’m gone.” Still, no one says anything because Oliver is back to trying to make it work between them, and she occasionally helps William with his homework, so he can’t complain.

William btw, while appreciating the fact that F*licity brings intelligent conversation with her, has not forgotten how much of a bitch she was when trying to save him. Sure, he wasn’t present while all the shit-talking was going down, but there was no way that Samantha didn’t mention it at least in passing later on. “I’m amazed at how much Oliver has grown as a person. He was a real jackass when I knew him before, but he was genuinely worried about you and how we’d get you back. I just wish that the blonde chick he was working with wasn’t being such a pain about it. Like she had any right to any of our business, or any right to be a bitch about the rescue mission.” At this point, nolicity’s domestic life is pretty much out of some crappy fanfiction, and I will be damned if William doesn’t get to bring up F*licity’s pettiness at least once.

And since F*licity apparently feels threatened when Oliver’s past love life gets brought up, William tends to go to his Aunt Thea whenever he feels the need to talk about his mom without having to feel as if he’s the one bringing up a touchy subject. She’s also the one to get him out of the house whenever Nolicity gets especially nauseating at home, and he ends up growing a bond with the rest of Team Arrow in the process. While he still doesn’t want Oliver to be the Arrow anymore, he grows to respect the rest of the team, and ends up with all of their numbers in case he needs any of them to kidnap him for the day. He gets to spend some time in the bunker while they’re out on missions (with Diggle under the hood, of course). Funnily enough, after one mission without F*licity or Oliver, he asks Thea, “So what exactly do you need F*licity for anyway?” And Thea explains that she’s usually down in the bunker handling all the tech stuff while they’re all out in the field, but then he says, “Yeah, but Curtis was handling all that and working in the field??” And Thea and Roy exchange The Look™ again and change the subject.

Things finally come to a head during the Crisis on Earth-X crossover. Oliver, totally taken by the magic that is WestAllen still proposes during the rehearsal dinner, and F*licity, still very publicly says no. Classy. Naz*s invade and everything goes to shit, and Oliver and F*licity still try to make things about them while shit is literally falling apart around them, and to the people whose wedding actually got ruined for some reason. To her credit, Iris doesn’t outright tell F*licity that she’s being a self-obsessed drama queen at what is literally the worst possible time, but she does put out a few comments that both remind F*licity that it was in fact Iris’s day that was ruined, and gets her to shut the fuck up.

F*licity: Oh, wah! Oliver and I had a fight and then naz*s ruined any chance of makeup sex! Wah!

Iris: They literally ruined my wedding and abducted my groom.

F*licity: *internally* oh fuck I forgot about that

Meanwhile on Earth-X:

Oliver: Oh, wah! F*licity said she wouldn’t marry me after I proposed at your rehearsal dinner! Wah!

Barry: Yeah, what the fuck was that about anyway?

Oliver: Ikr? She wouldn’t say yes even after all the beautiful things that were said during the speech! If that doesn’t scream romance, idk what will!

Barry: I actually meant, why the fuck would you propose at the rehearsal when you can do it at literally any other time that isn’t supposed to be about Iris and I getting married?

Oliver: There was magic in the air!

Barry: *facepalm*

No, but the conversation between Barry and Oliver would go on to a touching, if not repetitive explanation about how Oliver was so taken, not just with Barry and Iris’s union, but the idea that Barry has been able to balance his life as a hero and his personal life. Oliver had once told him, “Guys like us don’t get the girl,” but Barry actually did it. And Oliver was envious, because his own life was one clusterfuck after another, with an on-again-off-again relationship that he’s only sort of making it work, and after the Dominator’s simulator, he realized how much he wanted his life as Oliver Queen to be fulfilling and filled with love, and how much he wants a partner in both halves of his life, like Barry and what he has with Iris. And throughout all this, Barry listens and quickly notices that throughout his whole explanation, Oliver never once uses F*licity’s name; he doesn’t even bring her up specifically. Barry probably means to point this out, but Oliver brushes him off thinking that he’s just going to tell him off some more, because that’s what he’s come to expect from having F*licity around all the time, and that’s what people who love you do, right?

It’s actually Snart’s doppelganger who points this out (after eavesdropping on their entire conversation) and suggests that maybe Oliver just hasn’t found the right person to be his partner the way he wants. “Just look at Barry and Iris, or me and Ray.” Oliver shrugs him off too, and just resigns himself to the loneliness of either being without F*licity, or being with her in all the wrong ways.

They get back to Earth-1, Supergirl is saved, yadda yadda yadda. I would like to change Stein’s death into him also making a miraculous recovery and leaving the show still intact. Just, using naz*s to kill off a Jewish character? REALLY?? Fuck all of that. Anyway, Barry and Iris still decide on an impromptu wedding right after *insert literally any event that doesn’t involve killing off Martin so disrespectfully* and Barry still brings Diggle to perform the ceremony, and Joe, Cecile and Wally are present because of course they fucking are. You could even argue for Cisco and Caitlin, but it doesn’t matter to me as much if they’re there. So Barry and Iris exchange vows, say their I do’s, and-

Fucking F*licity interrupts. Because of course she fucking does. “Would you marry us, too? Would you marry me?” A moment of silence and then everyone just explodes.

Barry: Seriously, though? After waiting my entire life for this, two more seconds is literally all I could have asked for

Wally: I’m a speedster, and I could have waited a couple more seconds

Iris: Really? Can I not just have one (1) wedding go uninterrupted?

Joe: In retrospect, we probably should have waited until these assholes left and done this at STAR Labs or something

And F*licity just gets overwhelmed because she’s literally never had so many people tell her she was wrong in her entire fucking life and Diggle tries to mediate (no matter how much he agrees with the rest of Team Flash).

Diggle: F*licity, you don’t even have a marriage license.

F*licity: Oh, no, it’s okay, John! We could just share the moment with Barry and Iris, and then go get a marriage license when we get back to Star City and have our own wedding there.

And then everyone explodes again because, seriously what the FUCK? “So I have to share my second interrupted wedding, and you’re just going home to have another one of your own?” And literally everyone is so fucking frustrated and angry, even more so because they all knew they should have been celebrating at that very moment but F*licity seems to think her awkwardness is still cute when it might just be the most infuriating thing ever. Finally she turns back to Oliver, who hasn’t said anything since she proposed like, “Hey?! A little help here?!” And Oliver is busy with finally seeing her without the rose-colored glasses and seeing her as the selfish and problematic person she is and it’s fucking glorious because he’s just so calm but everyone hears him when he just says, “No.”

F*licity: What? NO? What do you mean, NO?

Oliver: No, F*licity, as in, no, I’m not gonna help you ruin their second wedding, no I’m not going to defend you after fucking this up, and NO I won’t marry you. Not here and definitely not now.

Everyone else is pretty taken aback because up until now, no one’s ever told Queen Fefe off and they’re all doing an internal happy dance at how, for once, Oliver isn’t backing her up. Oliver and F*licity have a staring contest, F*licity waiting for him to back down, and Oliver holding his ground, until F*licity, finally realizing that she’s been unanimously outvoted, just storms off without saying anything, probably expecting Oliver to come running after her to apologize. But he doesn’t. He actually just quietly apologizes to Barry and Iris, and stays in his place as a groomsman (best man, my ass) and stands and waits for Cecile to take up her new place as matron of honor (how the fuck Fefe got that position is beyond me) all the while having this look on his face that says “It had to be done, but I’m gonna catch serious hell when I get home.” Diggle repeats himself in pronouncing Barry and Iris as husband and wife, they kiss, and the crossover ends with an UNBLOCKED shot of them two while their remaining wedding party claps it out.

I would keep everything in the gift scene in next episode of The Flash exactly the same except for Iris’s line is changed to, “Okay, not on the registry, but I guess trying to get married during our wedding wasn’t on the registry either. I’m not bitter.”

The whole wedding reception scene in Arrow is also completely done away with, and replaced with a long-awaited breakup scene, the one to end all breakup scenes (between nolicity anyway). Down in the bunker, it starts off with (what else?) F*licity trying to blame everything on Oliver. “Shit like this is why I didn’t wanna marry you. And then I put MYSELF out there and what do I get? Rejected, that’s what! I get rejected and humiliated in front of everyone!” And then she rambles on and throws in a couple references of the island and how he hasn’t changed since his frat boy days for good measure. Some guilt tripping and a few hypocritical statements later, and then she ends it. Or, at least, that’s what it’s supposed to be, but it really comes off as more of a threat to end it. Her closing statement sounds a lot like “You better straighten up because you’re damn lucky to have me.”

And Oliver just kind of silently stews until she finishes and he immediately jumps into how far he’d obviously come since his five years on the island, and how unfair it was for her to throw that in his face, and even worse how she tried so hard to justify butting her way into Barry and Iris’s special moment to further put herself in the spotlight. She tries to butt in a couple times (like she does) but gets immediately shut down because hell to the fucking no that was not okay. It ends with them trying to yell over each other, and F*licity yelling, “Well maybe I shouldn’t even be on this team anymore since you’ve made it pretty clear that you don’t need me!” right as the rest of the team walk in. They immediately try to backtrack, but F*licity, being her usual dramatic self yells, “No! No, you stay! I’ll go! He obviously doesn’t need me anyway!” and just leaves.

The rest of the team is just so shell shocked and embarrassed at having walked in at that exact moment (they’d all secretly been hoping to be there at that exact moment because that’d mean they’d officially have permission to drag F*licity the way she should have been several seasons ago) but the moment turned out to be more awkward than anyone could have hoped, so no one really knows what to do. “You alright, Hoss?” Oliver pretends that the past minute never happened and redirects everyone’s attention to the latest update on Cayden James. Meanwhile, Laurel, recognizing that Oliver is going to opt out of dealing with the problem, quietly excuses herself and leaves the bunker after F*licity. And Laurel finds her just outside the bunker, pacing because was she was actually expecting Oliver to run up after her after causing that big scene.

Laurel: That was some fight you guys just had.

F*licity: What, oh that? Nah, Oliver’s just being a jerk. Don’t worry about me, we’ll be-

Laurel: Where the hell do you get off talking to him like that?

F*licity: Wait, what?

Laurel then unleashes the mother of all lectures, bringing up every single problematic thing F*licity has ever said or done, which is pretty much anything and everything anyone has ever had to complain about the Mary Sue-ish nature of her character, every time she’s been an asshole, every time that she and the rest of the team has wanted nothing more than to tell her to shut the fuck up but how Oliver had asked them not to because of how much he wanted their shitty relationship to work, whether they were together or broken up at the time. F*licity tries to keep a stoic facial expression, but it’s pretty clear that she’s embarrassed and angry and incredibly surprised because damn, first Oliver and Team Flash, and now Laurel is calling her out on her shit and she was so far from expecting it. Laurel, to her credit, never even raises her voice, because she doesn’t want the rest of the team to hear and get involved, and she makes it clear that no one is kicking her off the team (if she wanted to leave, then that was her own prerogative) but she’s just so glad that she finally gets to unload everything she’d been holding back since Oliver and F*licity had gotten together and the bitch was not going to worm her way out of it this time. Her rant ends with the sentence, “Don’t think for even a second that you’re in the right about any of this,” and she turns on her heel and heads back down to the bunker while F*licity stays frozen where she stands, still trying to absorb that she’d just been told off, and how no one was going to apologize for it.

In the upcoming days, it seems like F*licity is gone for good; she hasn’t come back down to the bunker or contacted anyone on the team, and the team slowly adjusts to not having her around (and encouraging Oliver in that he did the right thing by breaking it off). Curtis pretty much takes over her role on the team (he’s the third smartest person in the DC universe, dammit! Why in the fuck has he been reduced to Fefe’s sidekick?!) and makes time to go out on patrol with the others and besides not having anyone back in the bunker, the team dynamic really doesn’t change. But just as things escalate with Cayden James, F*licity comes back; she shows up unannounced at the bunker after the team comes back from the field, and insists that she’s ready to resume her role as Overwatch. The rest of the team is pretty iffy considering all the drama that she’d left in her wake, but they agree to take her back because they’d probably need all the help they could get against Cayden. So the show goes on, with some tension still between Oliver and F*licity, but Laurel quickly shuts her up with a look every time it looks like she’s about to start some shit.

Team Arrow obtains the list of people on Diaz’s payroll, and after some celebrating on taking down the bad guy, F*licity announces that she was officially leaving the team. There’s a lot of confusion, since she made such a big deal about wanting to come back, but she explains how she only wanted to finish what she started with Cayden James, and now that the mission is over, she’s ready to go back to a normal life, like what she had originally planned when joining the team back in the first season. This scene is actually a bittersweet one; no matter any of our opinions on how badly this character was fucked up, she was a part of the original team, and her departure from it should be treated like the end of an era. She leaves, but not before assuring them that she would help out if they ever need it.

Idk what the future holds for the plot, but as far as GA/BC being endgame (because they were, dammit) I actually wouldn’t want it to happen in the next season. Now with F*licity gone, Oliver got bumped up from the second to the biggest asshole in the Arrowverse, and like I said before, Laurel absolutely does not deserve his shit. So I don’t want there to be any romantic relationship between them at all, for at least one whole season. Hell, I want them to date other people during this season. At this point, I’d just really like to see their friendship to become more solid. I want them both to come to terms with what happened between them in the past, and decide to extend their partnership. I want Oliver (and the rest of the team) to see Laurel as his equal, not as his potential love interest, and definitely not his sidekick. I want Oliver to start resembling his comic book counterpart at this point. I want him to more frequently crack jokes and become less like a Batman wannabe. It felt like that’s the Oliver we were supposed to get when this show started, after he’d had a chance to deal with some of his trauma.

The eighth season is when Oliver and Laurel start showing romantic interest in each other again. They maybe start flirting while on the field, and eventually they go out on dates without the masks. And at first it’s weird, because of all the history they share, and a running gag where every time they sit down, they’re immediately summoned on a mission (original, ik). But they not only find the time to be together, but they actually realize that the life actually works for them, because there are no more secrets between them anymore. I want them to start calling each other Pretty Bird and Robin Hood and pretty much all the fluffy (and probably smutty) scenes that it would take for their relationship to better resemble their comic book counterparts. And their chemistry is just as good as it was in the first season, when you could just look at Oliver and see just how in love he was with Laurel, only better now that they both share the vigilante lifestyle.

This all eventually leads to them getting married; it doesn’t matter if it happens in the eighth season or the ninth, but the proposal is similar to the 2010 Green Arrow short, where he proposes while in full costume after completing a mission together.

Their wedding could be the premise for the annual crossover, but I wouldn’t mind if it was purely an episode of Arrow. If it’s not a crossover, then I would at least like a brief cameo of Barry and Iris, probably calling or video chatting them before the wedding, wishing them luck because they sadly can’t make it due to having to deal with this season’s villain. But Sara has to be there, for sure; with or without the rest of her team, she needs to be present as the maid of honor.

And their wedding gets interrupted, because of course it does (probs by Orm leading the Atlanteans or some shit) so they break up the wedding party to suit up and join the fight. This is actually the first time we see F*licity since she left. They need her tech skills yet again because Curtis was either incapacitated during the fight, or he’s off on a trip somewhere with the hot police officer from this past season. Anyway, they’re at whatever office/genius bar she’s working at, hovering while she does her thing, and she’s rambling on as per usual until she says something like, “I expected to hear from you like everyday, tbh. I’m honestly surprised everything didn’t fall apart the moment I left.” And everyone just kinda rolls their eyes like, damn, what a bitch. And then she makes it more awkward when it comes out that Oliver and Laurel’s wedding was supposed to take place earlier that day, and it’s like, “Oh, so I guess you are willing to get married, just not to me!” And Oliver has to physically hold Laurel back from cussing her out because, “We need her, okay?”

The episode/crossover ends with the team (and William and F*licity because reasons) back in whatever location they’re using as the Arrow Cave at this point, everyone in full costume, patching up their injuries, and it overall looking like the shawarma scene from the first Avengers movie. And despite having just won the day, everyone’s still sorry that they couldn’t finish the wedding. So, just like how Barry and Iris should’ve had their second wedding in STAR Labs, they decide to hold their wedding in the Arrow Cave. So, everyone still tired and dirty from their recent fight, but it still makes for an interesting ceremony. But it’s mostly because I want Oliver to lift Laurel’s mask the way he would’ve lifted her veil. And not only do they actually have vows, they’re actually pretty fucking beautiful. Like, Oliver’s are about how he’s loved her for most of his life, but how this is the first time where he feels like he’s finally worthy of her, and how he sees her as an equal, and as his partner in both halves of his life. Laurel’s reflect on how they went from friends to lovers, to strained acquaintances, back to friends, to actual partners, and eventually back to lovers. And no matter how many times their paths lead away from each other, they were forever intertwined. And then Diggle pronounces them husband and wife and everyone cheers.

F*licity hangs back from the rest of the crowd that’s hugging and kissing and congratulating, because she really can’t stop herself from thinking “That should have been me,” but she manages to keep it (mostly) classy and only hints towards the thought twice in her rambling congratulations. In the end, she hugs the both of them, and makes her exit right after Oliver and Laurel stroll out to catch their plane to their honeymoon.

[daughter-of-pens]

Fancanon #2 - The Free World (Movie)

Streaming on Netflix, "The Free World," starring Boyd Holbrook and Elisabeth Moss, is a quiet story about a gentle romance between an ex-convict and a battered woman. Holbrook the ex-con is 60-odd days free, having been cleared by the Innocence Project for the presumably gruesome murder of some little girls. He has a job at the dog shelter under the employ of a wise, sympathetic, no b.s. taking, older woman played by the lovely Octavia Spencer. Moss the battered woman shows up one day in the passenger seat of her asshole cop husband's truck, distraught over her beaten dog, Charlie. Spencer's back and forth with the asshole implies that he beat Charlie to near death. Once Holbrook steps up next to Spencer to quietly assist, the asshole gives both Spencer and Holbrook a whole bunch of antagonistic lip for no reason, especially the latter, for the monstrous reputation he earned in prison.  During this scene, Holbrook glances up and gets a glimpse of Moss openly weeping behind the windshield. She doesn't notice him and Holbrook puts his attention on the dog and the asshole. After the latter leaves, Spencer and Holbrook treat the dog's injuries, but they're too severe for the pup to last more than a night, despite Holbrook's adamant hope that it'll pull through. Next follows a handful of scenes of Holbrook by himself, establishing his minimalist stunted life before it's disrupted. He prays to Allah, he tosses and turns on a big bare mattress, then goes to sleep in a closet. Next comes Moss and Holbrook's first scene together. Here the tale begins.

I'll be honest. I know Hurt/Comfort is not everybody's jam and there's likely a growing number of people who like to slap the "P" word on it. (Hint: Problematic.) However comma...as someone who grew up pretty unprotected for too many complicated life reasons, I freakin' liiiiivveee for this stuff. Wherever there is a description that mentions a rough person putting it all on the line for softie in peril, I will click for more. Don't @ me. (hee, I've always wanted to say that.)

So the movie. How was it actually? Because you know premise can only get me through the door. Execution gets me to stay. And the quality of the execution determines whether I walk out abruptly or stay but have a bad time or leave at the appropriate time with a big grin on my face. Let's say that's the spectrum of judgement we're working with. Where does "The Free World" fall?  I stayed and felt like I had a pretty good time for most of it, but then after I left...the more I thought about it, the more I realized it actually wasn't that great of an experience but I wanted to feel like it was a good experience by thinking of the little things I enjoyed. Simply put: It was good, but could've been better.   What was the problem? The story was about something very specific. It was about this connection between two lonely stigmatized people in this small judgmental town. That was great, but the plot which carried out this story...mm, not so much. Directly put: I think the events that transpire to put these people in each other's lives and how they react to them clashes with the actual focus of the story more than it helps bring it out strongly.  Spoiler Wall - Spoiler Wall - Spoiler Wall - Spoiler Wall

First Contact - The movie opens with Holbrook working at a dog shelter, comforting the little loves and comparing their time in cages to his own. Moss' character shows up the next day with her abusive husband. She's sitting in the car, crying her gigantic eyes out, while the husband talks crap in front of bloody beaten body of a dog on the ground.

Second Contact - Moss shows up at Holbrook's job in the middle of the night, bloody, beaten, hysterically crying and hanging on to the dog cage looking for Charlie (the dog.) Holbrook frantically attempts to shoo her away, thinking she's a druggie. Once he realizes she's in distress, he offers to help, take her wherever she needs to go - she just can't stay there. Moss gets so worked up that she passes out. Holbrook rushes over to her, taps her face, and gets blood all on his hands. He mutters "I didn't touch you. I didn't touch you." He's about to call the cops, but paranoid that people will think he harmed her, he instead carries her unconscious body back to his place. She sleeps on the bed. He sleeps in the empty living room in a chair by a shadeless lamp. 

Pivotal Contact - Moss wakes up in a strange bed in a strange room. Grabs a butter knife or a razor or something that Holbrook had set out all nice and neat against his bedroom wall. She tip toes out of the room. He hears her, gets up, and immediately starts trying to explain. She's scared and angry, saying things like "Get out of the way, let me leave, I'm not afraid of you." To which Holbrook responds, "I'm gonna let you leave, you don't need to be afraid of me, you need to understand I didn't hurt you. I didn't do anything to you, you asked for help, so I tried to help, okay now you can go." She's still not convinced, thinks that he's one of her husband's friends who apparently stalks her sometimes. He wrestles the weapon out of her hand, puts it down, hands up, and begs her to understand that he didn't harm her. He tells her again that she asked for help, so he tried to help her, that's all, and she's free to go. At last, she understands the situation and sinks down against the wall. 

At this point, I'm saying to the TV "okay, get on now. Gone get where you got to get." But she doesn't.

The cops knock on the door. Apparently, the upstairs neighbor called them due to a domestic disturbance coming from his apartment. He lies and says he was just working out and he's in the place alone. The cops come in and look around for themselves. The male cop, (who played Marshall Marshall on the show "In Plain Sight" - shout out to him), is a total racist D-bag. He antagonizes Holbrook about his time in prison while the female cop, who he refers to as "my lovely Latina partner," searches the rooms. Apparently, Holbrook earned the nickname "Cyclopes" in prison because he took his cellmate's eye out one night. Apparently, this is only one of a long list of violent acts he committed in the slammer. His beast level is clearly one of legend, since people bring that up more than whatever crime he wrongly went to prison for. Male Cop says he was so monstrous that even the black gangs didn't mess with him. (Male Cop referred to the black gangs as something much harsher that I don't care to repeat, but it's why he's pegged 'racist' as well as a D-bag.)

Lovely Latina Partner returns giving the all-clear, but Male Cop isn't convinced. Why? Because Moss can't stop freakin' whimpering and whining from the dog crate she's hiding in kitchen-side. Holbrook tells them it's just an old sick dog he's taking care of. Male Cop demands Holbrook open the crate so he can see for himself, becoming more and more aggressive with every denial. Eventually his partner gets him to back off and the cops leave. 

Holbrook opens the cage door. Moss says "I was cooking dinner," which is the beginning of whatever event led her to the state she’s in. Holbrook stands against the counter, tells her it's alright. She comes out of the crate. 

To cut to the chase here: Moss killed her abusive cop husband, presumably during a beating he was laying on her while she was cooking dinner. Rather than judge or reject her, Holbrook understands. Saying something along the lines of "people like him don't stop."

Holbrook decides to help Moss by hiding her in his apartment. The detective on the case suspects Holbrook because he's the recently released killer of the town and lets him know as much in a diner, but he never has his place searched again.

This moment is representative of the larger problem I think the movie has, which is an imbalance of agency that makes a lot of the moves the characters make come anywhere between out of the blue to unbelievable.

During a little dinner scene at Holbrook's place, Moss acknowledges that if she's caught there, Holbrook will go back to jail.

"I don't want that," she says. "So I should go." 

"You can stay." 

Not gonna say why? ...No? ...Okay then. 

So she stays. Meanwhile, the news is covering the murder of Abusive Cop Husband, deeming his missing wife a suspect. When the detective who suspects Holbrook accosts him again at work, he mentions how Abusive Cop Husband was a hotheaded a-hole who nobody liked and everybody knew he was beating his wife, but turned the other way - basically hinting that he thinks Moss killed him and Holbrook is helping her because he's sympathetic to her understandably bad situation. 

Key word: Understandably. So at this point, I'm like "okay, self defense is a thing. You're covered in bruises and even the detective said your husband was a garbage person who nobody liked (except his a-hole friends presumably) and everybody knew was a violent jerk. Soooo, why are you not turning yourself in?"

Never once is it acknowledged between Holbrook and Moss that she might actually be okay if she turned herself in. Because the theme of these characters is "stigma," it's being assumed that she would still be judged harshly for committing murder even under this extremely understandable circumstance and she would suffer in prison just like Holbrook did for a crime he didn't even commit. Because of what prison made Holbrook, it's decided that this fragile flower of a person doesn't deserve to set foot in that environment, not even for the hot second it would take for any lawyer worth their salt to get her a slap on the wrist. 

We're supposed to believe that the system is against them, so they must depend on each other. Holbrook's distrust in the system I buy because it is (thinly) established that he is stigmatized as an alleged child killer and a prison menace. Members of authority are just waiting for him to hurt somebody. Hell, their attitudes suggest they'll snatch him up if something bad so much as happens within five feet of him, involved or not. So with all of that in mind, him wanting to protect her from the system because of his own distrust of it makes sense. But Moss...Miss Moss' apprehension I don't so much buy because while her husband did apparently have a-hole friends (some or all of which could've been other cops) supporting his abuse, those friends don't make the laws. Those friends can't make a lawyer or a judge punish her to their liking (or if they could, it was never established), so what did she really have to fear? Just going to jail? Why did she not even want to try to get real help now that her husband was no longer there to scare her silent?

Perhaps Moss feared that her husband's friends would kill her before she even laid eyes on a lawyer. Or perhaps the husband's family had money and influence that they would use to sabotage her chances of fair judgement and no one would care because she was dirt poor with no family. If so, none of these things or anything like it were established at all, so there's nothing that really solidifies let alone justifies her motivation. As much as I thought she was a sweetheart and I lived for her being under Holbrook's protection, I could see no logical reason behind her decision to hide from the law after calming down and having her wits about herself.

She's not a prostitute or a drug addict. She's not a Chinese mail-order bride, she's not black or a "lovely latina," or an illegal immigrant sex trafficked from Russia or Poland with barely a grasp on English... I mean, not to get too deep or to make it seem like those who fall under what I'm about to say never suffer anything, but in this particular instance, considering the fact that she's a little White American woman with the biggest misty blue eyes and the sweetest disposition being battered by an ugly hotheaded weasel of a husband in a tiny town in the south...I genuinely don't understand why she never once even considered that the system might have her back on this one. Had she screamed in his apartment the day she first woke up, Holbrook would've been tackled, arrested, and put back in jail for the husband's murder in seconds flat even though evidence would clearly show he was nowhere near the scene of the crime. And if Holbrook was actually black or brown and she did that...Lord help him. 

But anyways. She doesn't even consider turning herself in, just hangs out at this apartment, bonding with Holbrook when he comes home from work over the course of maybe 2 or 3 days. One of those nights, she's talking with Holbrook, who's laying in the closet, and after some gentle back and forth (I don't remember what they talked about), she climbs in the closet with him and lays on his chest. He holds her in turn. No hanky panky. Just tame protective comfort. 

Yes, I aww'd. 

The next day, Holbrook sees more cops at his job, supposedly looking for him, so he turns back around. Meanwhile, Moss...sigh. Moss is staring out the window and randomly has a hallucination of her dead dog Charlie barking outside. She gets up and runs out of the house with all the girlish fervor of a literal child only to realize it was all in her head and oh no I'm a wanted woman out in the open in broad daylight. So she runs back to the apartment, but danggit, the door locked behind her. What does she do? Sit on the ground by the door, tell the nosy neighbor passing by that she's fine, and just...waits there.

Holbrook returns. Shocked to see her outside, he rushes up to her, places his big hands on her little face and in a breathy panic, asks "why are you outside, why are you outside?" while she explains in a tearful voice "I'm sorry, I got locked out, I'm sorry. Charlie..." 

Yes, I eek'd when he held her face and spoke all worried-like because he's so big and she's so little and he looks so rough yet he's being so gentle!

...Sue me.

Holbrook gets her inside where she continues to fret, revealing that the neighbor saw her and she's afraid the lady's gonna call the cops. "They'll take you back to jail. I don't want that. I don't want that," she whines. Holbrook holds her face again, places his forehead against hers--

YES I squee'd at this part because forehead touches are the keys to my soul! Can that be okay, Woke Wilma?!

--and says "I don't want to go back. I ain't talkin' about prison. I don't want to go back." There's a moment of pause with her looking into his eyes and understanding his meaning, then she leans into the forehead touch. Their decision is made. They're in this together and they run. 

Holbrook hot wires a car outside near the apartment building and drives off for presumably hours to some house in the backwoods where apparently a friend from prison had been staying this whole time. After a moment of being held up at gunpoint as trespassers, the friend recognizes Holbrook and they bring it in for a hug. The friend makes dinner for them and swaps stories with Holbrook about buddies from the pen. He starts to launch into a particular story about Holbrook as "Cyclopes," which Holbrook tries to stop, but he keeps talking. The story ends up being about how the terrifying big bad Holbrook laughed for the first time and that's when the brothers of Islam started passing him the word and getting him to chill out. 

So his little protests, which I thought were leading up to him losing his patience for the first time in front of Moss, amounted to nothing. Moving on. 

The next morning, the friend hides them in the back of his truck on some blankets under a tarp, planning to take them somewhere where they'll be smuggled to South America. In the truck bed, they're all boo'd up (tongue pop) and Moss starts telling this story about being a little spicy when she was a kid, getting into all kinds of trouble with this little fast friend she had named Chicken, who would talk smack to everybody from kids to cops. 

"Mixin' it up, huh?" Holbrook drawls with a smirk. 

Me: ugh, stop your sexy right now.

"Mmhm, I could fight, too." 

"I bet you could."

Me: ssttaahhpp being so charming and sexy you Jax Teller/Jack Mercer-lookin' Boyd Crowder-soundin' bastard.

So he starts talking about himself when he was a kid and the little trouble he would get up to back in the day when Moss kisses him. He's a little taken by surprise, but quickly returns the kiss and they have a cute little make out moment, nothing heavy - just a nice long couple kisses.

Yes, I grinned and aww'd and there might have been a lil' squee in there even though I thought the timing of the actual kiss was a teeny bit iffy.

They get to the spot - some kind of warehouse - where they're handed off to two good ol' boy methhead-looking traffickers. The friend leaves. Holbrook and Moss are taken deep into the warehouse to a cold double-bed room with a gallon of water sat on the nightstand. Moss drinks the water first, then passes it to Holbrook. Cut to black. 

Holbrook wakes up on the ground, groggy and handcuffed. Moss is missing. Holbrook goes half-beast mode trying to break his cuffs. Just then, two traffickers enter with a wheelbarrow. Holbrook attacks them. Knocks one down, strangles the other with his ankles and shouts "where is she?!"

"The hatch! She's in the hatch!"

He gives up the keys to the cuffs at Holbrook's order. Holbrook proceeds to suffocate him until he either dies or passes out. Either way, he's not moving. The other trafficker starts to get up, but Holbrook- now uncuffed - knocks him back out. He goes out into the warehouse in search of Moss. Finds the hatch in the ground and goes down a ladder into a dark hole. The camera does not follow him. We hear screaming from both Moss and a guy, and then a minute later, Moss comes out of the hatch with Holbrook close behind covered in even more blood. 

Now, at this random action/thriller point, I start wondering if maybe this story is based on some kind of Greek mythology-like fable 'cause you know those stories tend to operate this way - running through all the major events to illustrate some larger point rather than really settling into their characters or setting. Holbrook's nickname is Cyclopes, so I was thinking "Odyssey?" But y'know, I don't think it is. I don't think any of that is a thing, this is just the way the creator wanted to do it. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't know. Moving on. 

They steal another car outside the warehouse and go speeding down the road. Moss is trying to get Holbrook to calm down and Holbrook is all like "I'm sorry, that was me, I'm sorry, that was me." Basically letting us know Cyclopes came out down in that hole and was ripping dudes the F up. Too bad we didn't get to see it. 

I mean honestly, if we're gonna take an action/thriller left, hit the left hard. Lean into it, give me all of it. Subtlety had already left the building so leaving the camera above the hatch for that Shakespearean Play effect was more disappointing than goose-bumps inducing. But, moving on. 

A cop car whoop-whoops behind them. Holbrook freaks out, realizing he was driving too fast. "Why was I going so fast? Why...why?" Moss tries to get him to calm down, tells him to just keep driving.

"Don't stop. We're going, we're going."

So Holbrook steps on the gas, despite the cop's instructions over the horn. A tire on their car blows and the car skids to a stop in the middle of the road. Holbrook makes a plan that involves Moss running out first. She protests, crying, saying she doesn't want to leave him.

"They'll shoot you."

He grins, holds her face, pressing their foreheads together. "Naw, naw...they know better than that."

Me: baabbyy! how can you be so cute and lie like that? Don't be cute and lie!

Moss becomes convinced to go along with the plan. On the count of three, she bolts from the car. Holbrook gets out and staggers towards the cops saying "she's my hostage. I'm lettin' her go. I killed him," while the cops are shouting at him to get down on the ground. He gets down on his knees and while looking up to the sky whispers "I surrender."

Oh right, because Moss had asked him way earlier what Islam means and he said "surrender." So that brings that to some kind of circle.

Holbrook reaches for his prayer beads and gets shot a couple times in the chest. Falls on his back. Moss stops running for the trees and runs back to him. Falls on him, crying, holding his face, just hysterical as the cops pull her off and drag her away. The camera lingers on Holbrook as if he's dying. 

Cut to blue sky and Moss' voice delivering a sweet poetic narration of how much she misses Holbrook, but she's hopeful so long as she can see the sky. Then we see Holbrook looking like he's back in prison clothes and standing around in a jail with his arm in a cast and sling, but actually only one of those things is true. He's visiting Moss in jail, separated by the glass and phone thing. His new shirt just so happens to look like jailbird attire, but he is free. Moss mentions a lawyer working on a good deal for him. Holbrook stares at her a pause, then says "you don't deserve to be in here" or something to that effect. Moss smiles and says "I took a life. Wasn't mine to take." 

Their final moment comes with a bit of illusion. She puts her hand on the glass and he presses his head to his side of the glass. 

"Can you feel my hand?"

The visual becomes her actually rubbing his head, the nurturing comforting way one might pet the head of a dog you could say. They also kiss and I’m not sure if that means in reality they pressed their lips and tongues against the glass or Holbrook just daydreamed that part while also imagining her rubbing his head. Regardless, it happens. They give each other one more longing hopeful look. 

Then...credits.

Okay. I know by the way I recapped and reviewed the story, it might seem like I didn't like it, but I actually really did. I adore this movie's core. It's just, as I mentioned above, I don't think the plot really served that core well.

Rewrite Time

The Little Fix

Moss' Motivation: When Moss tells Holbrook that she doesn't want him to get back into trouble with the law for her staying there, that scene could've been where she starts to weigh her options. Just weighs them. Just acknowledges that if she turns herself in now, tries to get a good lawyer, maybe this and maybe that could turn in her favor. And then Holbrook could tell more of his story as far as how he - when he was a 15 year old - got blamed for murders he didn't commit and no authority in that town cared. They didn't care about his circumstances; they didn't care that he was just a stupid scared kid from the poor part of town where those little girls maybe didn't even live. They already had their story, their big bad wolf...they just needed to make him fit the part. And they did. 

They threw a little boy in a cage with real monsters and buried the key. It took strangers from up north, loads of money, and ten-odd years of his life to dig it back up. Now the innocent person he was back then is long dead. He doesn't want to see Moss go through having who she is stripped and rotted away behind concrete and steel, so he warns her not to just throw her life in the hands of people she assumes she can trust on the notion that she's supposed to be able to trust them. "You're supposed to trust your blood, friends too...but where were they the first time? Second, third?" He'd say, looking at the bruises on her face and arms. She'd try to make some excuses, blame herself for why no one came to her aid when she was being abused, to which he'd retort, "Nobody around here stood between you and that monster when he was alive and well and eating you up every night. So why the hell would they stand up for you now? They'd sooner paint you in the wrong any way they can than face the guilt of their own sins." 

Sidebar: couldn't you just imagine this as the groundwork into Holbrook having his own goal to uncover who the real killer was? It could be revealed to be some pillar of the community kind of guy who everybody kinda new was a weirdo but they turned a blind eye to his kiddy diddler ways because he had so much influence/power. Then when he killed his latest victims and hardly even tried to cover it up, they put the blame on young Holbrook - who happened to find the bodies maybe - to protect the powerful weirdo and in doing so protect their own self-interests? Like Rectify, but with a little more urgency and violence. I mean, the movie ended up having a weird random action/thriller-esque sequence anyway, so instead of dipping in and out of that tone, it may as well have been in the foundation of the story. But I digress. (for now)

Already being scared to face the consequences of her actions, Moss soaks up Holbrook's speech about not turning herself in just yet. She could decide to stay just one more day. And on that day, while thinking of how to approach her surrender in a way that might guarantee her some unbiased favor, she sees a cop car ride down the street. The detective that's been getting on Holbrook's case since the murder shows up with a couple of deputies to search his place again. Rather than running outside because she randomly has a delusion of her dead dog, Moss can run out of the house through the front door and circle around the back of the building, while the cops are upstairs talking with the landlord, requesting a key to Holbrook's place. The landlord lets them in and they snoop around, finding nothing. Meanwhile, Moss is outside behind the apartment under a window or in a corner, holding her hand over her mouth. She narrowly avoids getting seen, the cops leave. She waits for the sounds of them driving away, then tries to get back in through the window. Locked. Tries to get back in through the front door. Super locked. Then the rest of the movie can proceed as is. 

The Big Fix 

We're gonna need to perform some surgery on the timeline here. This movie went from passive to very active and action-filled, but too suddenly and in the wrong direction, which is why it was only half-committed to what little it did do. It wants to be a quiet, emotional journey about two stigmatized outcasts finding comfort and understanding in each other in this hostile little town that's full of high and mighty hypocrites who don't let people live down their mistakes or past wrongs. So the story should engage this setting more. It should build to something active and action-filled through the consequences of how the main characters react to increasingly intense challenges those hypocrites throw at them. 

First things first, we make the killing of Abusive Cop Husband a part of Moss' backstory. Let's say it's been just shy of a year since that happened. She didn't get a day in jail for it, but nobody in town lets her forget that she's a murderer. She tries to go about her day to day life as normal as possible, putting up with rude stares and whispers and the occasional intimidating accost from her dead husband's friends, but no one touches her. (yet) 

Holbrook, who we can still set up the story with the same way, gets told by his boss Spencer that he needs to go out more.

1. So his neighbors stop thinking he's planning his next serial murder.

2. To make more of an effort to re-acclimate to normal life. 

So he eats out a diner for the first time; keeps to himself and chows quickly. People stare and whisper, which makes him anxious (hence the fast eating) but nobody goes near him.

First Contact: As he's walking back home with a doggy bag, he sees Moss for the first time. She's squatting at the edge of a patch of grass going into a field, whistling and clicking her teeth. "Here boy, come on. Here boy." Sensing a dog rescue afoot, Holbrook goes over to assist. He gives her a fright and they both back away a bit from each other. He introduces himself and asks if she's trying to coax out a lost dog. That's precisely what she's up to. She's even already named him "Charlie" after her father, even though the closest they've gotten is her watching him raid her trashcan. Holbrook helps her coax the dog out. He comes to Holbrook, who then gets him in her car. He gives her some quick dog care tips to get through the night and advises her to take him to get checked out by a proper vet for the bigger stuff. They say goodnight and he goes on his way first. She watches him walk away, becoming intrigued as she realizes she's never seen him around before.

Where is the vet's office? The same place as the dog shelter because it's a small town so of course the one veterinarian also runs the pound.

Second Contact: Moss arrives the next day to get Charlie checked out by Spencer the vet. She and Holbrook have a pleasant bashful chat in the meantime. To thank him for helping her, she offers to do something - like treat him to lunch and give him a hair cut. The latter which she acknowledges sounds odd, but it's what she used to do - be a hairdresser that is and she started by cutting men's hair, her daddy's specifically, so she swears she's steady with the razor. Holbrook looks a little self conscious, smiling all shy-like, and rubbing his face. 

"I look that bad, huh?"

"Oh no, no it's...well, it's not great."

They chuckle.

Spencer is behind her giving Holbrook the nudge nod like say yes, fool.

So Holbrook accepts Moss invitation for lunch and a haircut at her place. 

Pivotal Contact: Walking around town to Moss' place, Holbrook is getting some stares and whispers. He becomes a little overwhelmed by the broad daylight, almost turns back, but ultimately keeps ahead. He arrives at her place and they have fast food chicken sandwiches because as Moss puts it "I'm a terrible cook." Holbrook doesn't mind a bit. During the hair washing, cut, and shave, they just talk. The nerves dissipate, they share a few quiet laughs over some anecdotes of lighter times in their lives growing up in the areas they grew up in - wonder how it is they never met, only to conclude they probably did but never realized it. "For such a tiny town, it sure is easy to end up in whole other worlds from people not even a foot away from you every day," Moss can say. 

At some point during their talk, they both hint at their personal controversies even though they don't want to delve into them, which makes them realize the other person doesn't know about said controversies. Odd since they're so used to everybody knowing that about them, but their ignorance is probably the reason they're able to be at ease around each other. So, they both agree to save their secrets for another day. Right as he's helping her clean up, playing with Charlie a bit, and basically getting ready to leave, a brick gets thrown through Moss' window. Moss is upset and angry, but tries to keep her cool in front of Holbrook. She hides the brick behind her back and rattles off 100 excuses for why it's no big deal that just happened. Holbrook apologizes, thinking it's about him. Moss assures him it wasn't. 

During their time apart, their minds wander to each other. Separately, they get a talking to from people about being seen in each other's company. Holbrook by his boss Spencer, who encourages him to continue making a friend, but to be careful since he's not the only one with bullies always barking at his back. Holbrook asks for Moss' story. Spencer doesn't give too much because it's not her story to tell, so she just tells him that Moss is a good girl who got put in a bad situation and nobody lets her live it down. "Just like somebody else I know." 

Moss on the other hand is confronted intimidatingly by the wife of her dead husband's best friend, who calls her all kinds of bitches and evil whores for trying to run around with the town psycho. She stands up for herself with a tough face and tone, but when the woman leaves, it shows that she's hurt. She cries, but she's determined to stay tough. 

The premise I'm building to here is one in which Holbrook and Moss would become friends and confidants first. They would learn patience and understanding of each other by dealing with the aggressive repercussions of daring to step out into the world and try to have lives, especially when they make those efforts together. Those repercussions would be the obstacles they face that challenge their bond, but they ultimately overcome. The worse Moss' aggressors act (hurting Charlie and leaving his injured body on the porch for instance), the more Holbrook will be pushed into becoming his more monstrous self but this time not to protect/prove himself to other monsters, but to protect the link to his humanity from those other monsters.

In Holbrook's own case, Moss could be looking into who the real murderer of those little girls was and it could turn out to be one of her dead husband's friends a.k.a. one of the guys who is bullying her and perhaps one or two of the other friends helped cover it up; even gave false witness statements to incriminate Holbrook. And it's the fact that she's looking into that, trying to uncover these truths for her "psycho boyfriend Cyclopes" a.k.a. their scapegoat, that's making her bullies become more actively aggressive towards her and Holbrook in the first place. There could be a point here where Holbrook finds out what she's doing and wants her to stop, but she doesn't want to, so they get into an argument over why it matters. 

To Holbrook it doesn't matter that people still think he's a killer because he knows he's not. So long as he's no longer locked up like one, he doesn't care what people think. To Moss it matters not only because those dead little girls deserve real justice but also because she knows how other people see Holbrook will always greatly affect his life - just like it affects hers. But unlike her, he doesn't deserve to be treated like a killer for the rest of his life because he isn't one. So, she's going to prove it whether he likes it or not. Having someone put everything on the line to protect him motivates Holbrook to do the same for her, which unfortunately gradually means summoning Cyclopes to keep her safe.

The most "action-movie" this otherwise indie romantic drama could delve into is Holbrook beating the shit out of their group of tormentors (killing none) and getting arrested. But he won't be sent back to prison because Moss' testimony, other sympathetic witnesses of their torment (Spencer and perhaps that one cop's "lovely latina” partner) coupled with the evidence she dug up on the real killer and conspirators will clear Holbrook of any serious charges, especially when that evidence reveals the real monsters (those responsible for what happened to those little girls and a teenager's wrongful imprisonment) to be the same ones Holbrook beat the shit out of, making self-defense all the more reasonable of a ruling.

The real monsters go to prison, Holbrook and Moss become a couple and they live together with a healed up Charlie in an actually furnished house where they have Spencer over for dinner often.

The End.

Post-Credit Notes:

So, everything has come full circle. The setting is utilized more, the microcosm of "society" that is this small town posses a much clearer and stronger threat to the characters' personal comfort and progress, and the connection between these two characters as individuals stigmatized by this little society due to their dark pasts was not only the beating heart of this tale, but drove the plot - the series of events - in a way that didn't overshadow or clash with the main theme of the story, but accentuated it. And I believe that main theme to be an examination of what it means to be enslaved by the world's perception of you; how to cope with and free oneself from this enslavement.  

Now, of course I know that movies have constraints that books don't, namely money and time. So I understand that in a lot of cases, stories are altered to fit movie making means. If that's the case here, that's fine. I still enjoyed "The Free World" for what it was. But just purely looking at the story without any of those other outside factors, I think it could have been a much stronger version of itself in just a couple more drafts.

Shortly put: If it was a book, I'd buy it. 

~R.J. 

Author's Note: Alright, I've done enough talking. Now I want to hear from you guys. Discuss things. Did you see this movie? Did you like it? What do you think of my rewrite? How would you tackle a rewrite? Get those wheels turning. Backseat-writing other people's finished works is one of the best ways to sharpen your own pen. ;)

..........

[earlywrites]

there’s no place like 127.0.0.1 commentary part I: ‘looking back’

Hey gang! Here’s part one of my commentary on my Angela & Robot fic there's no place like 127.0.0.1, a.k.a. A Weekend At Angela’s, a.k.a. Mr. Robot’s Day(s) Off. This will contain spoilers through Season 3 of Mr. Robot.

To start off, the title of the fic itself I got from a fun piece of set dressing in 3x05:

...which (and I'm probably stating the obvious here, but either way) is a play on 'there's no place like home' from the Wizard of Oz, as 127.0.0.1 is the 'localhost' of any given machine.

“Dolores… Haze?” she says, frowning [...]

I believe this is the codename Elliot would have Darlene stored under on his phone, since it’s a handle she’s used in other areas -- recently, as the name of the network she and Elliot used in the arcade during 3x09:

Somehow, he both feels like he’s been hit over the head with a truck, yet at the same time had the best sleep he’s ever experienced in the scattering of days where he’s been the one in charge. The sleeping pills on the side table aren’t a name he recognizes, and the instructional lettering is all in Chinese, but holy balls did they knock him the fuck out. Seems Angela wasn’t kidding when she said she was committed to keeping Elliot out at all costs.

I did a bunch of reading on DID and several people on the forums suggested sleeping pills as a method to prevent alters from switching over in one's sleep. Ambien and melatonin etc all seemed to also promote sleepwalking as a side effect, especially when combined with alcohol (and this is more relevant in part II), so I took artistic licence and made a fake drug that essentially knocks you out with zero (known) side effects, lol.

Residual self-image. Everyone has a face that only they can see, projected outwards into the mirror. A false idol of confidence, of ego, or a shell of dysmorphia and despair – either way, a lie repeated for so long it manifests into your own monster. Or maybe it’s something as little as a smaller nose or a slimmer waistline, look, ultimately, people like to reject reality and see what they want to see – for better or worse, ‘til death do us part, until every feature is stripped back and washed away, and that face in the mirror is just a skull the world has finally fucked. Technically, his own projection is long dead, but reanimated for a greater purpose – a divine one, even, according to Tyrell and his whole wackjob microreligion thing he’s got going on.

Residual self-image is indeed a term from The Matrix, which Morpheus describes as the 'mental projection of your digital self'. Here, it's a literal way that Robot describes how he and other people see themselves, even if in reality it can be very different. The major theme of this fic was perception versus reality, in that both Robot and Angela are focussed so narrowly on their specific ideal outcomes of Stage 2 that they omit or ignore any signs that the plan will not go exactly their way. This is the first area where I start to address that, and basically continue to hold up a sign in big black lettering that goes HEY ISN'T THIS IRONIC THAT THEY'RE SAYING THIS GIVEN WHAT WE KNOW NOW for the rest of the fic.

Still, he only gets wrapped up in this metaphysical bullshit when he’s in the driver’s seat for an extended period of time, because situations tend to arise that take him on a stroll through Uncanny Valley. For example: he showers and then shaves, but no stubble leaves his jawline. He changes into fresh clothes that Angela has left him, but the label on his jacket still proudly proclaims Mr. Robot: Computer Repair with a Smile! (still not his name, no matter how much Elliot tries to pin it to him). Sometimes he can squint through the mirror, rearrange his focus a little bit, and see this analogue of Elliot staring back at him – eyes half-lidded, the pinched anxiety on his face smoothed out. This is what they all see, which really is a poor substitute for the damn good-looking guy he’s facing off with in the bathroom vanity this morning.

Like, I've always wondered about this. Elliot is always clean-shaven after Robot's been in control for longer stretches of time, so Robot must shave, but we know he always has stubble -- how does any of this work, really? Is the fact that we see Robot's face in the mirror just a product of Elliot's overarching control over what is depicted in the show, and Robot actually sees 'Elliot's face? Who the heck knows, Sam sure as hell probably isn't going to explain it, so I'm sticking to this interpretation for now. And, also, no, Robot's never actually referred to himself as Mr. Robot in the show, going so far as to laugh at the idea of Elliot calling him that name when Krista brings it up in 3x02, which is why I have him rejecting it in here.

He tries watching TV, for a bit, but nothing particularly engaging is on basic cable on a Saturday morning – crappy cartoons (they really don’t make them like they used to), some more bullshit presidential candidate Donald Trump (seriously. This, if anything, is why Stage Two is an absolute fucking necessity to get the world back on track) has regurgitated about taxes or something is being picked apart by no less than twelve ‘experts’ on CNN, and the hysteria continues on four other channels. Only one news channel is actually covering the upcoming UN vote, which is quintessential Americocentrism - like, holy shit, the UN is going to sell a fucking country to China, and all people give a shit about is some failed reality star who can't, apparently, do math beyond a grade-school level. The next channel he tries is airing a repeat episode of Teen Mom, which is about the point where he gives up and switches it off, tossing the remote somewhere down the couch.

I don't know what was on US basic cable on that September weekend in 2015, and neither do you, probably. I do know that, around this time, Trump unveiled his tax policy at a press conference. It wasn't on a Friday/Saturday, but then again, September 29th wasn't actually a Monday, so whatever, I'll take some wiggle room on that.

[...] Darlene doesn’t know about the arrangement between Angela and himself, all he needs is plausible deniability for the knock – sleeping pills on the side table, that’s it, that’s the play, if he bunks down on the couch she’ll believe he was so far under he didn’t hear any of it. Wake up, fidget a bit, Elliot-style – keep it vague, let her fill in the blanks—

I would've loved to have seen the Robot v Darlene route, where Robot plays as Elliot and finds out about Elliot's plan to have him followed, and how things might have played out differently from there, but, that would then diverge from the canon series of events I was trying to keep within. I guess we'll never know!

“I know, that’s why I set up a contingency, give me some fucking credit here,” he argues. “It’s a little self-destructive sequence, a ransomware mimic – forget to key the password into the dialog box that pops up every five minutes and you’ll get locked out, and all the files on this laptop will self-encrypt. Only I have the keys, so even if – if – he manages to resurface, he wouldn’t get far.”

I'm sure this is wildly inaccurate, since I know pretty much nothing about programming, lol. We can't all be Elliot, okay!!!

“Is it possible for you to not be an asshole for like, five minutes?” Angela mutters. “Fine. I’ll—wait, hold on.” She brings up the Netflix home page, typing ollie.p.parker@gmail.com into the email field. “Let’s see if he – nope, hasn’t changed it. Why am I not surprised.”

“This is your ex-boyfriend’s account,” he clarifies. Angela hums the affirmative as she scrolls through his recommended titles – fucking hell, there’s at least three different Adam Sandler flicks alone. “Well, good to know he’s still a fucking moron. You sure dodged a bullet there. Or,” he pivots, reconsidering the context, “I suppose, given how that all played out, got that bullet lodged in you removed before it was too late.”

Fuck Ollie, this is the least of what you deserve, you dickwagon. I had a further scene that I ended up cutting because it dragged down the pacing, where Robot convinced Angela to let him 'hijack' Ollie's Netflix account by changing the email address and password and then getting into his email account to verify the change and delete the notification emails. Anyway, he's probably suffering in the post-5/9 economy, so, suck it dude.

He wrinkles his nose. “Oh, that guy’s in this?”

“Who, Christian Slater?” Angela says, looking up over her phone as the monologue continues. She finishes her text and slides it back onto the coffee table. “Not a fan?”

“Of his works? No, I like them well enough, Heathers is great,” he says, tossing a piece of popcorn in the air. “There’s just something about his face that makes me hate him. You know, when you look at a guy, and he has a face that’s just asking for a fist? This guy. He always looks so smug.” He points an accusatory finger at the TV. “What have you got to be so smug about, huh? Besides the fact that you’re probably jerking off to that fat royalty check in the mail every month. I mean, we all know that’s what all the Hollywood schmucks are doing, tugging it to their stacks of cash, but you don’t have to wear it right there on your face so I’m reminded of the fact every time I see it. And it doesn’t help that he spends half the movie miming the act, it just makes it so stupidly meta, Christ, I need to build a fourth wall in my brain and kick over a bucket of bleach – also, by the way, what the fuck, I can’t believe you actually watched this as a child, you—”

This was probably the most self-indulgent thing I got to write. I love that Christian Slater exists in Robotverse, so that I can exercise the 'character played by actor, who also played a character in another thing, thinks this character sucks/is ugly' trope. If you missed it, here's Pump Up The Volume on VHS in Angela's childhood home in 3x06:

She’s silent, for a moment, and the movie plays on. “It helped, in a way. With my mom. There’s a line, that’s always stuck with me – ‘the terrible secret is that being young is sometimes less fun than being dead.’ See, they don’t approach death in a way that’s nice, and polite, and full of platitudes – it’s angry, and messy, and it’s okay to want to just—” She suddenly leans over to the laptop, clicking forwards a few times.

“I’m sick of being ashamed. I don't mind being dejected and rejected, but I'm not going to be ashamed about it.” She mouths along with him. “I mean, you look around, and you see nothing is real, but at least the pain is real. You know, even this show isn’t real? It’s just me, I’m using a voice disguiser, I’m a phony fuck just like my dad, just like anybody—”

If you haven't seen the movie, basically Slater's character is reacting to the news of a teen committing suicide, after they had stated the intention to do so on his show - you can watch this scene here. This is, of course, not a movie a young child should watch, but Angela has always talked about her anger regarding her mother's death, and I thought (aside from the self-indulgent aspect of Robot v Slater, lol) it would be interesting to explore how she might act out, a little, like kids sometimes do to cope with grief and pain, secretly watch a Movie Definitely Not For Kids, and within it find a helpful way to release the anger she bottled up. (Also -- she would've loved the lizard. What a cute little friend.)

Somehow, they keep this train chugging along until well into the night. His pick is next – he chooses Snakes On A Plane, just to fuck with her a bit, but it turns out she just loves snakes, because of course she does, so that backfired somewhat, aside from the fact that Snakes On A Plane is actually pretty fun if you really embrace the hammy acting and ridiculous plot. Angela parries, picking a recent release called Jupiter Ascending, a large proportion of which he spends loudly trying to work out at what point in time since The Matrix Trilogy were the Wachowskis secretly killed and replaced by doppelgänger hacks, as Angela sips her appletini and coos over werewolf-angel(?)-in-rollerskates Channing Tatum. He then counters with Sharknado 3, which is definitely a mistake, and then they have to both suffer through all excruciating ninety-five minutes of it because neither of them are willing to budge on their unspoken cinematic war. A victory for him, maybe, but a Pyrrhic one nonetheless.

Angela does canonically love snakes, so this wasn't intended to be a jab at her manipulation of Elliot this season, but, of course, interpret at as you will. This great piece of characterisation is from the Red Wheelbarrow tie-in book for Season 2 (which is an awesome read, definitely recommend):

Second, the 'cinematic war' is totally one-sided. In my mind, Angela actually enjoyed all the films they watched, while Robot basically fucked himself, lol. Look, Jupiter Ascending is a wonderful, whimsical film, that should be taken at face value for the work of art that it is. Space paperwork! Bee princesses! Eddie Redmayne whisper-screaming as he tries to marry his mother! It's an absolute cinematic treasure. I can't say the same for Sharknado 3, but, well, all in good fun.

“First off, the entire concept of monogamy is bullshit,” he replies, and yes, he is going to actually give her a serious answer. “It’s an archaic evolutionary tactic to boost survival rates among Neanderthals that has no place being the gold standard in 2015, in the same way that we don’t kill a mammoth and spend the rest of the year eating hairy elephant ass for every meal — newsflash, supermarkets exist now, there are like fifty different varieties of beans, literally just beans, so it makes zero sense to pledge your undying commitment to a can of Spam, I mean, shit, even if it’s something you actually enjoy, you’d get absolutely sick and tired of eating it and nothing else until you keel over and die. So, on that note, it’s pretty obvious why most of our parents spend the rest of their lives fucking hating each other if they’re not a part of the fifty percent who cut ties before it’s too late, because, yes, alongside the great lie of the picture perfect nuclear family, the modern factory-line industry of marriage is just a capitalist cash cow where everybody thinks they’re getting milk, but in reality? That sure ain’t a teat they’re sucking on.”

This also comes back to the Red Wheelbarrow tie-in book, and specifically, to this scene in it, where Robot rants to Leon about monogamy in the context of Mad About You:

This is probably my favourite scene from the book -- I love the idea of Leon and Robot having long-winded debates on media, and it's a pity we'll never get to see that acted out, lol.

[...] “Fuck Gosling, fuck Stone, kill Groban. Done.”

“Wow,” Angela replies, leaning back, one hand against her heart. “Wow. You’re such a dick. How can you kill Josh Groban?”

“Breaking news! What a scoop. Angela Moss, come and claim your Pulitzer,” he says. “And, to answer your question: very easily. Groban is clearly the least attractive of the three, and so by the metric of this game it condemns him to death.”

“The correct answer,” she says firmly, barreling over him as if he’d never spoken, “Is fuck Ryan, marry Josh, and, well, if I have to kill someone, I guess I have to kill Emma, but I’m sure she’s lovely. Actually, no, okay, if you get two fucks then I do to. Fuck Ryan, fuck Emma, marry Josh.”

I love Angela's love for Josh Groban nearly as much as getting to see Elliot in that 'Property of Josh Groban' sweater in 3x01. It's never been explicitly stated on the show, but my interpretation of Angela and Robot's sexualities is that they're both bi as fuck, so there you go.

“And, you know what? I don’t want to live in a world where everyone’s as cynical and jaded as you, old man. Because,” she hiccups, ending it in a giggle, “That’s what you sound like, you grumpy fuck, like you’re pushing eighty, not long until you start yelling at kids—” and at this, she cups her hands over her mouth, imitating a megaphone, “Get off my lawn, you capitalist piglets!”

“Okay,” he says, shaking his head, grinning in spite of himself as she yells out “you bourgeoisie microscum!” in a shitty imitation of an elderly man [...]

This is my favourite piece of dialogue in this entire thing. 'Bourgeoisie microscum' fucking kills me every time I read it. Originally I also had 'pushing fifty' as a sly wink at Christian Slater's real age, but no middle aged man has quite the curmudgeonly attitude to pull off 'bourgeoisie microscum'.

That's it for part one, folks! Thanks for reading, if indeed you still are. Click here for part II :D

[tardisheart134]

12.15 Coda / Word Count: 1578

Something had been off about the phone call.  Dean didn’t know what but he could tell Cas was holding something back.  He had no claim to the angel.  He knew that.  Hell, Cas had almost died and Dean couldn’t even say that he loved him back.  He just stood there helpless and stupefied.  And just because Castiel was holding back didn’t mean something bad was happening...right? Things were bound to be strange between them for a little while.  Those three words come at a high price.

Dean tried to put the thoughts from his mind.  A week passed and Castiel hadn’t returned his texts.  Which was fine, he didn’t always respond right away. But Dean couldn’t reason away how his stomach twisted with nausea.  A week and three days and still nothing.  Dean tried fruitlessly to call him but it kept going to voicemail.  

“Cas.”  The name came out more tearful then Dean meant for it to.  “Cas - call me please or text.  Just let me know you’re okay.”  A few beats of silence passed. Dean let out a sigh.  He wanted to say ‘I love you too, you idiot, please be okay.’ but for all he knew Cas was fine and he was worrying over nothing. He couldn’t shake the nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach.  Besides he didn’t want the first time he said it to Cas to be on a voice mail.  “Call me, please.” There was no mistaking that Dean was on the verge of tears.  Cas would be able to hear it in his voice, if he was okay.

He spent the nights pacing in the library.  He and Sam were currently without a case and he was too frantic to lose himself to Netflix.  He hadn’t slept in two nights.  He finally broke down and got himself flat on his ass drunk.  He hated it.  He knew it was stupid, but dammit he needed sleep.  He could feel the whiskey spreading down the back of his throat to his extremities.  He became increasingly aware of how heavy his arms were.  It burned warm in his stomach and mingled with the fatigue.  He barely landed face down on his mattress before falling deep asleep.  

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been passed out but it felt like a long time.  He didn’t feel rested but at least his body would be able to function.  The room was dark except for where is alarm clock beamed across the room.  He couldn’t make out the numbers, his vision still blurry with sleep.  That’s when Dean heard it.  A sound he hadn’t heard in a long time.  The flutter of wings and the slight breeze on the back of his neck.  His heart was in his throat.  Castiel hadn’t had his wings, since he’d been cut off from heaven.  Was he dreaming?  Worse yet, was it another angel...someone besides Cas?

“Cas?”  Dean barely whispered the name.  His eyes filled with bewilderment as he rolled over to see the angel, cloaked in his trench-coat, broad black wings tucked behind him in place where they should always be.  “Cas.”  Dean cried out with relief at seeing him.  He tugged on his trench-coat. “Cas - your wings - how?  Am I dreaming?”  Castiel beamed a smile at Dean the likes that Dean had never quite seen.  

“You’re not dreaming. Dean.”  Castiel slipped his hand into Dean’s and held it.  

“Well - are you dead or something, what’s going on?  I thought you were cut off from heaven?”

“I’m not dead, Dean. They let me back in.  They said if I agreed to help them hunt down this child, this nephilim - they could reinstate me.  I could come and go as I please.”  

Dean’s face fell sullen and Castiel did not understand why.

“You’re fighting for heaven again...after everything?”  Dean’s words were coming out like accusations.

“It’s not like that Dean.  It’s not like it used to be.  Everything has changed since God and Amara and everything that happened.  Things aren’t perfect but I have my wings.”  

Dean dropped Castiel’s hand in disdain and turned away from him sitting up on the other side of the bed.  

“Dean, why are you angry?  I thought you of all people would be happy for me.”

“Why would I be happy Cas?  Answer me this - one of them came to you and said they could take you to heaven and reinstate you...how could you be sure that they weren’t lying...weren’t just using you again...weren’t going to get you to heaven to smite you or imprison you or brainwash you to fight against us...how did you know?”  

Dean was shouting now and his chest was heaving and he could feel the alcohol sloshing around in his belly.  He was still intoxicated.

“Answer me.”  He commanded.

“ I didn’t know for sure Dean, but I - I had to try.” Cas began to stammer. “I was already hunting the nephilim...I didn’t see the harm...if I could get my wings back.”

“And you couldn’t bother to let us know...to let me know - what you were thinking...what you were doing.  You couldn’t bother to say - by the way I’m going to heaven - I don’t know if I’ll ever be back...Cas you know better than anyone that they are a bunch of mind-controlling, back stabbing dicks who don’t care about you…they only care about what you can do for them.”  

Dean was propped up against his dresser pinching the bridge of his nose.  

“I’m sorry that I didn’t stop to consider how this might affect you Dean, but I honestly did not think it would matter that much to you one way or the other.”  

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”  

“I told you I loved you Dean.  I was clear about what I meant.  I could see it in your eyes. You knew and you couldn’t look at me afterwards.  We spent the next few days tiptoeing around each other in awkward silence.  I knew it was possible that I would go to heaven and it would have all been a lie but at least I wouldn’t be here to torment you...and if I went to heaven and got my wings back I could be of better use to you.”  

Dean audibly scoffed.

“Seriously - Dean - I’m not a hunter like you.  I’m not good at being human...I’m not good at being half angel.  I’m a burden - I’m someone you have to watch die.  I’m no use to you.”  A few beats passed.  Dean’s seething anger was palpable in the air.  Cas broke the silence.  “I’ll go then...it’s for the best…”  His wings seemed to spread in slow motion as he prepared to vanish before Dean’s eyes.  

“You shut your stupid mouth…”  Dean crossed the room in a few long strides.  He jerked Castiel up off the bed by his trench-coat smashing their lips together in a kiss which seemed more infused with anger than affection.  Castiel froze as Dean did his best to bruise his lips. His knees buckled from the emotion and the effects of the whiskey. Castiel pulled him into his strong arms and they collapsed backwards against the bed.  Dean clawed into Castiel’s coat and crawled onto his lap. He smoothed his hands around to tangle them in Cas’ feathers.  He knew that Cas was letting him see them, that Cas was proud of them and he should be they were beautiful.  

Castiel let out a whimper into Dean’s mouth.  He relaxed in Dean’s embrace wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him close.  Something seemed to break inside of Dean.  “I’m sorry Cas...I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have yelled at you...of course you deserve a chance to be whole...to have your wings...please don’t leave me...please…”  The whole room went black as tears flooded Dean’s eyes.   Before Dean knew what was happening, Castiel had engulfed them both in his wings.  

“I won’t leave you Dean.  Shh...Shh…”  Castiel rocked him gently.  

Dean was sniveling like a small child his words were coming out broken between sobs.  “Just - what if - what if it was a lie - and I wouldn’t know what happened to you...I wouldn’t know how to find you…”   Castiel smoothed a thumb under his eyes to wipe away the tears.  “

“You’re my angel. You hear me...you’re mine and it may be selfish...I know I’m no catch - but dammit you belong to me - not heaven - that’s not your home - I’m your home and I may be some emotionally constipated asshole whose longest and healthiest relationship has been with a car but tell me now if you don’t want this - if you don’t want me - because I can’t bear to lose you again.  I’ve got to know - tell me now if you’re mine?”

Dean’s chest heaved and his cheeks were flushed.  

“Of course I’m yours.” Castiel peppered featherlight kisses all across Dean’s face, murmuring words of affirmation between each peck.  “I’ve always belonged to you, Dean always.”  

“You’re so beautiful, Cas, your wings are so beautiful.” 

A few hours later Sam watched a groggy Dean and a rumpled Castiel saunter into the kitchen for coffee.  Sam watched as Dean stood behind Cas sipping from his coffee mug.  Something was different about Castiel, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what.  He seemed to put two and two together though when he saw Dean run his fingers through the invisible wings at Cas’ back.  

“What are you looking at?” Dean bit out, still hung over.  

“Nothing…”  Sam shook his head and tried to hide his grin.  

                        Thank you for reading!  I hope you liked it! :D

Tags: 

@casdean91 @wanderingcas @fandom-life-alwayz @lindsayrose2016 @ships-a-lot @tardisdementor @glassofcity @fool-of-a-tardis @superport17

If you would liked to be removed or added to my tag list, please let me know.  

[xoxardnekoxo]

Movie Review: Cyberbully

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!

It’s time for another movie review! And this one may not be a movie that’s very well-known, but it deals with something that’s prominent in today’s society, so I thought I’d give it a review.

This movie, Cyberbully, is an ABC Family (now known as Freeform) movie, but it’s still good. I found it in the $5 DVD bin at Walmart after watching it on Netflix, and honestly, I like it. It’s not a blockbuster, but hey, that doesn’t matter to me. Sometimes blockbusters suck and I’m like, why is this so popular?

Speaking of popular, as is expected in a movie about a bunch of teens, there’s no shortage of it in this movie. Let’s start with the plot:

Teenage girl (Taylor) gets her own laptop for her birthday from her overprotective, almost anti-Internet mother, with the conditions that she doesn’t go on inappropriate sites and basic computer-specific rules. What is the first thing she does? Joins a website that’s basically Facebook for her high school (they call it Clicksters - get it, as in cliques), and everything is okay, but of course the popular girl (Lindsay) starts shit. Eventually, things spiral out of control and Taylor finds herself in the world of cyberbullying, where standard bullying laws don’t apply. Things escalate to where she attempts suicide, but thankfully her BFF (Sam) gets to her in time. Taylor’s mother then starts taking action to get laws passed against this type of bullying, or to at least do something to protect her daughter online.

So, after Taylor joins this site, she gets in a chat room with other kids from her school. She has a crush on this guy named Scott, much to the chagrin of her friend Samantha. Well, Sam’s been used by a guy before, so the plot really plays that part up about how she doesn’t trust guys so Taylor shouldn’t either, etc.

Well, after arriving home, Taylor is informed by her friends to check her Clicksters page. Turns out someone hacked her account and posted a dirty/naughty status on her page, so of course all these sick perverts start posting shit to her. She does, of course, change her password and post on her wall what happened, but the damage is done. Turns out her little brother did it - what a dick head.

Later on, suddenly, out of the blue, Taylor gets a message from this guy named James from another school, and he seems like the perfect guy - he woos her with poetry. Wow, how cliche.

So she’s telling Sam and her other friend, Cheyenne, all about James in the cafeteria, then Scott asks her to the fall fling dance, and Sam is all, “A minute ago you liked James!” Oh big deal.

After the great little brother hacking incident, Taylor responds to Lindsay’s sardonic posts by calling her a bitch online. That prompts her mother to take her laptop away.

Seriously? I get that it wasn’t cool to call someone else a bitch, but A) she deserved it, B) she was defending herself, and C) what about the shit people were saying to her? Cut the poor girl some slack!

Well, Mr. Perfect James then posts that he slept with Taylor and she gave him an STD. So of course, that gets all over the school, and Taylor becomes a victim of online bullying. But it isn’t confined to online - it follows her to school as well.

Fast-forward to Lindsay escalating what James said by claiming he told her that Taylor slept with him for $5. Cheyenne’s cousin goes to the same school James claims to be from, and her cousin has never head of such a person. There’s no record of him. So it turns out that James is a fake. And, of course, Taylor felt such a connection to him that she told him all kinds of personal shit, like that her dad cheated on her mom and such.

Yeah, come on. She just met the guy. I admit I have a ton more friends online than in real life that I trust, but I’ve known them for years and have actually talked to them on webcam/microphone and such. I know they’re real and who they say they are. Taylor kind of jumped the gun with confiding so much in this guy...

... who, after Lindsay’s $5 comment, writes back to her and says she’s a liar and that he never said that. Who is James? Why, none other than Taylor’s supposed BFF, Samantha.

Yeah, she’s so nuts about Taylor liking Scott that she created this fake guy to turn her away from him (because he’s SOOO much like the guy she slept with who, after doing the deed, never called her again), and then she started the STD rumor... why, I don’t know, I guess to show that even supposedly nice guys are just pigs.

Seriously. Oh, and after this transpires, the next day, the three girls are in the bathroom and Lindsay and her entourage attack all three of them, prompting Cheyenne to not want to hang out with the other two anymore because she’s never been called a name in school.

Wow, tell me how it feels to have never been called a name or picked on in school EVER.

Okay, so after reading/hearing about the STD thing, Scott tells Taylor that he can no longer take her to the fall fling, but he does give her the excuse that he pissed off his mom, who is making him take another girl to the dance instead because their moms are good friends.

Yeah, right. My bullshit detector is going off. Anyway, upon hearing this, Taylor bolts out of class, runs to the bathroom, and who is there but the Queen Bitch herself with her posse. She’s all, “Oh, she’s crying. She must have seen the video.”

So, upon going home, Taylor finds the video. Some asshole puts on a fake pregnant belly (yes, the latest rumor is that she’s pregnant because she missed a couple of days of school after the STD thing, which her mom said she could have a personal day) and has a giant cutout of Taylor’s face plastered over her own, and she runs up to a random guy and says, “For five bucks, I can show you a good time. Or how about I pay you to show me one?!”

So that’s it. That’s the breaking point. Taylor posts a video on her page saying she doesn’t know why everyone hates her so much, but she no longer sees the point in talking or breathing. Sam, fortuitously, sees this video as it’s live, so she calls Taylor, but of course no answer. So she calls Taylor’s mom and tells her that she’s afraid Taylor is going to kill herself.

Sam manages to get to the house and get to Taylor in time, as she’s struggling to open a bottle of pills. The ambulance shows up, takes her to the hospital, and stabilizes her. Of course, the video that Taylor posted of her goodbye is still online, and Lindsay and all the others are saying she’s pathetic and is doing it over Scott, who promptly says, “Not my fault, the chick creeps me out.”

Dude, you were liking hanging out with her and you were going to the dance with her. No need to be a dick.

So, Taylor’s mother then springs into action trying to get something done because of how badly her daughter was being bullied. The school principal tells her that he has no jurisdiction online, since kids are in their own homes on their own computers. The school board won’t give him any boundaries/guidelines, and even the police are no help because the threats aren’t face-to-face. And trying to get legislation to introduce a bill? Forget that.

All the while, the cyber bullies have turned to Sam now and have started shit with her. Guess they needed a new target.

Sam does eventually come clean about being the one behind James’ profile. I still think that was totally stupid. She was like, “It wasn’t supposed to go that far.” Well what the hell did you think was going to happen?! FFS!

The doctor who tended to Taylor has a support group, so Taylor joins it (reluctantly at first), and it’s all teens who have been victims of cyber bullies. The doctor asks what they can do when someone does bully them online, and one girl says to block them. Taylor is like, “I never thought of that.”

WHAT?! FFS that is the first thing I’d do! The first thing that came into my mind was, “Block that shit!”

Well, Taylor’s mom strikes out, but Taylor doesn’t want them to stop fighting to get a law passed. So she decides to go to the newspaper with this story. At first, the reporter says this isn’t really news, until she mentions Sam using a fake profile. So then they get their story, and Taylor’s mom gets a call saying that a law is in the works that will make it illegal to harass minors online in the state. Oh, and when Taylor goes back to school, Lindsay starts shit again, but this time she stands up to her and is like, “Stop making everyone miserable with your shit.” And then Sam and Cheyenne (she’s back!) back her up, then Scott (who realized finally that Taylor’s attempted suicide wasn’t about him, but all the shit coming down on her) joins in, until Lindsay leaves the cafeteria. And then everyone gets on their phones and says that Taylor schooled Lindsay, and how it’s safe to go back online again (yep, she was driving everyone nuts).

And then...

So, all in all, I really do enjoy this movie. This is a subject that’s very real in today’s society, and the online world is vastly different from the real world. People think if they’re hiding behind a computer screen, they can say or do whatever they want with no consequences. And that’s not right.

Supposedly there are laws in place in some states that does make it illegal to harass minors online, and that’s good, but it’s not just minors that get harassed. Bullying isn’t restricted to just kids. I do think there should be more enforcement against cyberbullying. Years ago, bullying was tripping someone in the hallway. Now, it’s posting something online where the entire world can see it. And the scariest part is that it can be done anonymously in some cases.

In conclusion, this movie is very dramatic and it really captures the essence of what it’s like to be bullied online, and how you can feel so helpless because, well, it’s online. I think everyone portrayed their roles well and did a great job getting this message across. I have to go with 10/10. Later!

[powertobehandsome]

The Way I See It || Matt and Seth

part four. oh my god i forgot how much i loved this story || @blindlyburning

Seth nodded, looking over his shoulder at the young man. “Can we bring you anything back? Coffee? Breakfast?”

There was something in the back of his mind that let him know the chances of running into Matt at his place were very slim. But still, he hoped. He found he missed Matt. Missed the careful way he touched and the way his lips turned into a smile. “Pain pills would be nice,” he replied finally looking at Foggy, reaching up to rest a hand on his shoulder as they walked out. “Thank you,” he said quietly when they reached the elevator. “You and Matt have given Ryan and I so much. Including a friendship I’m not sure we deserve. Still. I… I know you would disagree, and if I could choose for none of us to be hurt, naturally I would go that route. But I am thankful that neither of you…” Well, he assumed Matt hadn’t been hurt. “That neither of you were hurt in all this. I can only hope it stays that way.”

He was quiet the rest of the way down, only barely sparing a glance at himself in the reflection of the elevator doors just before they opened. As they did, he smiled lightly. “I hadn’t even realized my eye opened. At least there’s that.” It was entirely bloodshot, and perhaps made him look worse this way than when it had been swollen shut. But at least he could use both eyes again.

“How are you, Foggy? Do you need anything?”

Montparnasse had asked for a ridiculously sweet coffee but that was it.

As for Foggy, he had set a slow pace as they walked out, careful to keep on supporting Seth as well as he could. "I'm... I'm kind of in shock. You both got hurt so bad, and if he got hit somewhere else... and I'm scared what we're gonna find when we get back to Matt, you know?" He swallowed hard. "But I guess...this is just... this shit happens."

Right. That felt like a lie, but he figured it was better to lie than to be too honest right now.

When they got to Matt's apartment, Foggy mentally prepared himself for the worst, but when they walked in, it smelled like coffee. Matt was on the couch, looking exhausted but uninjured, and Andrew was in the kitchen.

"Ryan okay?" Matt asked weakly, wearily.

Andrew brought a cup of coffee over and put it in Matt's hands, more to focus him than because he thought Matt would really drink it.

Seth didn’t know he had been holding his breath as much as possible as they’d made their way up to the apartment. It wasn’t solely because the stairs were a bunch of assholes and he was too long off his pain medication. But when they were inside and the door was closed, he rested back against it and slid down to the floor, his knees obnoxiously weak.

“He’ll live,” Seth replied, his face buried in his hands, feeling the sting of the pressure of his palms against his eyes, combined with the tears that were suddenly brimming, causing the red pollution in the white of his eye to really shine. He hadn’t expected to cry. Everybody was alive. Things were going to be fine. But the weight of the past few days had been crushing every bone, every breath of air in his body.

He felt ridiculous in this room, with these three men who were all stronger than him, crying like a child. But he couldn’t stop himself. So he pulled his right knee to his chest, rested his forehead on it, and silently wept.

Matt got up and went over to him. He set his coffee down on the floor, then sunk down next to Seth and wrapped his arms around him. He didn't try to hush his tears, he just held him as he wept, gentle and patient as he knew how to be.

Foggy bit his lip and went to put some things together for Ryan, then got Seth's next dose and a glass of water. He brought them over and set them down by Matt, then went and sat heavily on the couch. "Andrew, I'm so sorry to ask you this, but could you make us some breakfast? I don't know if.. any of us are even hungry, but.. we gotta eat."

"Yeah, man, of course. No problem." Andrew's voice was gentle and soothing, as if compassion itself had been made into a calm, tranquil sound, and he went back into the kitchen to get started. Matt never had a lot of food, so he had to work with what Matt hadn't cooked up the day before. He fried the chicken in pancake batter and washed a box of strawberries, then set two bowls of the food on the coffee table. A communal meal was probably more reassuring than everyone having their own place settings, he thought, and this way it would be there whenever they wanted it.

"Here," Matt murmured, once Seth seemed to have cried himself out for now. "You want your pain meds? I've got them right here, and some water.."

Wiping at the tears with the palm of his hand couldn’t have made Seth look more child-like than he felt, but it certainly came close. He had appreciated the comfort more than he could express, and he sighed heavily, resting his head against Matt’s shoulder and nodding. Words felt too difficult right now around the lump in his throat, so he found Matt’s hand and squeezed lightly — thanking him, but also letting him know that his relief was for Matt’s safety as well.

“I don’t think I can muster the energy for the grocery store today,” he said quietly, feeling guilty that he was, yet again, eating more of Matt’s food, sponging off  him without having offered anything yet in return. “But I can put in an order to have some delivered, or to make them available for pick up and we just stop by and pay. Either way.” He took a shaky breath in and exhaled slowly through his nose. “Either way I need to do something.”

Seth’s hand opened to receive the pills, and he swallowed them one at a time with the water.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, technically to all three of them, but he didn’t know if the other two could even hear him. “I didn’t mean to fall apart.”

"You have nothing to apologize for," Matt said. "Breaking down, when these things happen, it's normal. Sometimes it's necessary. Don't feel bad, okay? Or embarrassed. When I get stressed, I curl up on the couch and cry. Foggy watches Netflix and cries. It's okay. And don't worry about the food. Andrew made us breakfast. Don't worry."

Matt stood up and lifted Seth with him as he did. He helped him to the couch so that he could sit down in reach of food, then went back for their cups.

"As for groceries," Andrew said, "you guys seriously don't need to be worrying about that right now. I'll go grocery shopping and then get a few meals cooked up so all you have to do is reheat them. This is a time for resting, not worrying about the little stuff."

"Thanks," Matt said.

Foggy finally reached for a piece of chicken, bit in, and then started crying.

Andrew looked worried. "Are you... Foggy?"

"I'm fine. It's just really good. And I get emotional over food when I'm stressed. And there's so much shit going on and.."

"We don't have to worry about Ramirez, at least," Matt said.

"Huh?"

"He decided to take a vacation. Probably a permanent one. Behind bars. Turned out the FBI wanted him for some shit in Florida, so when he found his way to their office..."

"Jesus. Thank God." Foggy looked at his chicken, then dipped it in the little, warm bowl of mixed butter and syrup that Andrew had set down. "Sorry. That was gross of me. But it's so good, guys. Fuck Ramirez. Chicken."

Seth cracked a smile as he watched Foggy and then leaned a little against Matt. Just for a moment. Just to feel the comfort of his proximity. Seth knew his mind was focusing on all the wrong things. Food, payment, debts or whatever else. He should be worrying about Ryan, about Matt. People were more important. But he didn’t know how to fix people. He knew how to pay for things.

“Thank you,” Seth said to Andrew, offering a soft smile, one that was warmer and more welcoming than the looks he’d given the day before.

“Are you okay?” he asked after some time, a mostly eaten piece of chicken still resting between fingers. He didn’t want to berate for details, but he wanted to make sure Matt was really okay. “Foggy and I were planning on going back to the hospital sometime before noon. I know Ryan. I’ve seen him in the hospital before. He won’t let us stay. But you… Don’t feel like you need to go if you would be better off staying home and resting.”

"I'm really okay. Andrew... helped me. I'd been shot, but.. sometimes I guess it... pays to have very, very strange friends." Matt put his arm around Seth.

"Andrew helped you?" Foggy looked over. "Just Andrew? And what do you mean, shot?"

"I healed him," Andrew said simply, honestly, and he sat down across from them in a chair. "And I'd be willing to do the same for you, Seth, if you want it."

“I would rather you heal Ryan. If you… I mean. I don’t know how limited this is. Sure, I’d love to not hurt anymore. But my rib will mend and my eye is opening. I mean, yes, however you manage it. But if I’m choosing? Heal my brother.”

Andrew shook his head with a kind smile. "It's not one or the other. Once Ryan is awake enough to consent, I know Montparnasse will offer him the same -- although it will be easier for Ryan to accept if you're there, I'm sure..."

He got up and went over to Seth, knelt, and slipped one of his pearly, smooth fangs into the back of his hand, neatly slicing open. "I know this looks and seems pretty freaky, but I promise it won't hurt you. All you need to do is drink some of my blood. Don't worry, it won't make you sick or anything."

Matt seemed entirely relaxed with what was happening, and he gave Seth a small nod.

Seth looked at Matt, then briefly at Foggy before shrugging and muttering, “what the hell,” then finally closing his mouth over the lightly pooling blood. His brows pinched together as he drank, and he didn’t take much, and soon, he licked at his lightly red stained lips, leaning back against the arm that was around him.

“Superheroes, why the hell not vampires as well.” He looked up at Andrew. “That… is what you are, right?” He didn’t need details. He didn’t care about which lore was right or wrong. He just liked knowing who people were. He wanted to give them credit when they were due. He never wanted to underestimate people. Besides, they were all friends here, right?”

“Thank you for… Montparnasse? By the way. He… I mean, I didn’t know, of course, but his presence comforted enough to allow me to sleep last night.”

Looking back at Foggy, Seth gave a warm smile. “And Foggy never left Ryan’s side. You’re a good man.”

"Thanks," Foggy said, smiling wearily. "I try."

"And yeah, vampire. So is Montparnasse... he's old. Over two hundred now, I think, if you count his human years... but he's good, too. Anyway, you should start healing pretty soon here, but you'll still want to take it easy for a few days, okay? Even with the wounds gone, your body is gonna be.. kind of weak, still, like it is now. You're going to heal quickly, but it'll be using up your body's energy. You'll need extra rest and support."

Matt bumped his forehead against the side of Seth's head lightly. "He'll get both," he promised.

Andrew stood and stepped away. "Alright. I'm gonna go grocery shopping. You guys be safe, get some rest. Text or call if you need anything before I get back." He slipped out.

“I should maybe be in more shock than I am,” Seth said wryly, his voice warm and affectionate as Matt remained close by. The head bump had made him smile, dimples showing, a light color rising to his cheeks. “But I honestly think the shock factor has worn thin on this week.”

Seth checked his phone and exhaled a quiet laugh when he saw a text message from Ryan.

>>This “undercover cop” just tried to offer to heal me. What don’t I know?

“I think, when Ryan gets home… I mean, back here, we’ll all need a solid day’s nap. How else are we going to prepare for the excitement we’re likely going to encounter tomorrow?”

"Mmm," Matt agreed, and started eating breakfast.

----

Meanwhile, at the hospital, Montparnasse watched the young Jim Gordon in amusement. "Didn't your friends warn you? I'm a faith healer. We just need to go to a tent in a field full of lunatics, chant, pray, sweat, you'll be fine." He was still in the windowsill and had his arms wrapped around a leg, looking relaxed and amused and content.

Ryan watched the kid for a while, eyes narrowed. “That sounds great, except of the getting out of bed part. I assume since Seth left you here,” and Ryan did know they’d been here at the same time after waking up once during the night, “that he trusts you.” He was unsure, but nothing about this week was turning out exactly as he’d expected. “How long will it take to heal?”

"Like five minutes, because I'm awesome." He hopped down to the ground. "The only catch is that we basically have to make out for it to work." Total lie, but he was going to get something out of this, damn it, and that something might as well be kisses from a looker. "You can pretend I'm a woman if it makes it easier."

“It doesn’t. I mean… it doesn’t affect it one way or the other. This feels… well, more like a hallucination than anything else. So why the fuck not. You’re… You have a badge. So you’re not a minor, right?”

"Totally not a minor. So if you want to fuck me later, it's completely legal." He winked, then leaned down and kissed him.

It really was a nice make-out session as far as he was concerned. He periodically pumped his own pleasure venom into his mouth, mixing it with a bit of fresh-nicked blood as their kisses deepened. Unlike Andrew, Montparnasse's blood was far more complete when it came to healing -- he did have a few years on the guy -- but it required a little more of his.

When he judged that Ryan had had enough, he pulled back just enough to ask, "How are you feeling?"

Wide eyes looked up at the other man — and with a kiss like that, how could Ryan really claim that he was a kid — and he smiled. There was a sense in the back of his mind that he might look a little dumbfounded, or like… hell, he didn’t even know, but he shifted in the bed and reached with the hand that still had the IV and the oxygen monitor on his finger to cup the man’s face. “I’ve had good kisses. I’ve had pretty great kisses. But I haven’t had a kiss like that.”

Still half convinced he was either dreaming or hallucinating, Ryan pulled Montparnasse in for another kiss. It would be something he’d be a little shy about later, when he realized how easily he’d been affected, but at the same time, he was half sure Seth was banging the lawyer by this time. “I wanna get out of here,” he whispered, barely pulling away enough to get the words out.

What the hell did he have to lose?

"Mm." He enjoyed the next kiss and wasn't ashamed to show it, kissing Ryan like they'd fallen in love together for the first time. Eventually, though, he had to straighten up -- ha -- and pay attention to what Ryan had said.

"Okay. So let's get out of here. But first... tell me you'll be more careful which fights you pick, okay? You could have died and Matt almost did. You're way, way more valuable to this world alive."

He started getting Ryan detached from everything, seemingly quite familiar with what needed to be done and the best, smoothest way to do it.

“Seth is, eventually, going to be pissed at me for getting his lawyer hurt. I just… I didn’t feel like I was picking it to just be a stubborn pain in the ass. They… god, they broke him. If you’d seen him lying on that sidewalk in the fetal position, spitting out blood, and you watched as that blood mixed with that which was already running from his split cheek. It reminded me too much of watching my ex-girlfriend die from a car crash.” He sat up when he was free of all the wires and tubes, surprised at how easy it was, and then looked back over his shoulder. “It was stupid. And I owe Matt an apology. But I’ll never not stand up for Seth.”

"I'm not saying don't stand up for him." He found Ryan's clothes in a bag and handed them to him piece by piece. "Just that when something that brutal happens, keep your mouth shut -- and then get revenge. People who do this shit are monsters. Righteous fury, however justified, doesn't stop them, but putting them down? That's a solution that works."

“That’s quite an outlook you have. Goes relatively well with that badge you carry around, though perhaps not the best advice to a civilian.” Ryan dressed with his gown still on, but he wasn’t particularly careful about making sure everything stayed covered as he pulled his clothes on, and then he nodded, making sure he grabbed his phone and wallet and then took a step, smiling when he realized he hadn’t hurt through any of it.

>>I’m on my way out of the hospital. I’ll meet up with you sometime today. I’m fine, tho. I feel great. You get some sleep. I will apologize to Matt when I get there.

Ryan looked at the… whatever he was. The healer — and offered a crooked grin. “I’m famished.”

----

Seth sleepily glanced at his phone, rubbing his belly, his feet kicked resting over Foggy’s lap while he leaned back against Matt. He smirked and shook his head.

“Apparently Ryan didn’t need me to convince him. He’s out of the hospital. Said he’d meet up with me later. Guess the kid got through to him.”

"Good," Matt murmured as he slipped off to sleep. Foggy was already out, full and comfortable and just too worn to go on, and there were few things better than sleep when it was truly needed.

----

"Badge? Oh, right. Yeah. Badge." He shrugged and put his arm under Ryan's, for appearance's sake of course, and helped him out. From there, it was just a few minutes before Montparnasse's lies had Ryan checked out, and they took a taxi to Matt's place.

"I was serious, though. If you really want to protect someone, make sure the people who hurt them can never do it again. And the best way to do that? Not to let them see it coming." After a moment's pause, he added, "I'm sorry about your girlfriend. That... you must have a lot of strength to have gotten through that. I'm sorry you had to."

Ryan shrugged because he didn’t know how else to talk about Marissa. She had been a long time ago, another lifetime, it sometimes felt like. But she had been a vital part of his arrival at Newport, and he missed her still. But seeing Seth on the ground, bleeding, broken, Ryan knew he wouldn’t have been able to go on without him. It would have been far too much.

“You’re proposing I go out on my own and get even? What? Now? Aren’t they expecting some kind of retaliation now that they’ve shot me? I mean, granted they wouldn’t expect it to be me. But I… This seems… like I don’t know why I’m questioning you. Clearly you have more shit figured out than I do. I just want myself and Seth and the lawyers and our families to be safe. I can’t get into more trouble. That’s not fair to Seth.”

"Pfff, well, don't go out alone obviously. Not for your first time. And maybe don't even go right away. Train. Learn to fight. I mean from what I hear, Ramirez is on his way to prison and half his crew will be in traction for months because that vigilante ran across them shooting up the bar..." They headed up the stairs. "So maybe that's that. But as a future plan, if shit like this happens again? Why not really be ready?"

A sleepy looking Matt came and let them in, then went and picked Seth up and carried him into the bedroom. Foggy was still out cold on one end of the couch, and there were a few pieces of chicken and a few strawberries left.

"You said you were hungry... so how are you doing though? Want me to stick around for anything? Want alone time?"

Ryan watched as Matt carried a mostly sleeping Seth to bed and again thought about how quickly Seth had become attached. He had known Seth to have relationships. Anna, then Summer. Then Alex, then Summer. And the pattern continued like that until Seth had had to say enough. The pair of them had given it a shot when it felt like all they were doing was fighting against being together. But the romance ran its course and the brotherly love lingered. So that's what they remained.

"I don't need anything. I imagine you have things to do. But thank you -- for the kiss that made me better. That's quite a talent. I might have to fake an injury some day in the future."

"You don't have to fake a thing. You're all kinds of handsome. Just call me." He slipped a card into Ryan's pocket -- all it had was his name and a number -- and then he headed for the door.

Matt settled into bed with his arm around Seth, feeling protective and affectionate, but he stayed quiet as he listened to Ryan and Montparnasse.

Ryan ran his thumb over the card, over Montparnasse's name and then lifted his hand to wave. When he turned and saw Foggy, he reached for the blanket he usually used, covered the man with it, and then kissed him on the top of the head.

When he sat, his back was against the base of the couch and he sat in the floor, eating, and then took the dishes to the kitchen, washed them all before going back and stretching out on the floor under another throw blanket.

Meanwhile, Seth stretched in a way his rib wouldn't have allowed before, and he gently pressed the tip of his nose to Matt's cheek. "I'm really glad you're okay. Thank you for not dying."

Matt smiled and turned his head so he could touch his nose to Seth's, but it was their lips that touched instead, in a light and easy feeling kiss. Matt hadn't planned the kiss, and it left his heart hammering, but he just moved on to touch his nose to Seth's after.

"I'm just glad things are looking up."

Seth felt silly for the way he got butterflies and the way he knew his heart was pounding. But the kiss was soft and perfect and unexpected.

Both the boys slept through most of the day, getting up on occasion to pee, but then crawling right back to where they'd been, hiding under covers and blankets. They were happy here, happy things were, as Matt had said, looking up.

Maybe New York wasn't so bad after all.

----

Only a couple of days had passed, but Seth was feeling comfortable here. They'd paid their bill -- double what they were charged, because honestly, Nelson and Murdock had earned it.

He hadn't thought much about anything besides the major events of the week. The fight, the shooting, the kiss. Okay, so maybe that was just a big deal to Seth, and he'd been cautious since it happened, wanting to make sure to let things go at Matt's pace. But the more time he spent with him, the more Seth found he liked this little untouchable sanctuary in Hell's Kitchen.

He'd promised to get more food after Ryan had devoured a good portion of it the night before, and Seth had invited Matt along just so they could have some time alone together -- to talk, get to know each other better.

The woman had appeared in front of the cart Seth was pushing without making a sound, and her smile was wicked  in the most enticing manner. She looked at Seth for only a heartbeat before her eyes rested on Matt.

"Hello, Matthew. I was hoping I'd run into you before much longer. I was worried after you'd doubtless been told of my arrival, and I hadn't seen you, that maybe you were avoiding me."

Matt stopped in his tracks and felt his blood run cold as her voice washed over him. The taste and scent of her perfume moved through his body, and the familiar beat of her heart had his wanting to match the rhythm, no matter how his soul recoiled.

"Elektra. What are you... nobody told... what do you want?" What could she want, though, but to persuade him to kill? To be like her? To reignite the intense, insane passions that had nearly ruled and ruined him?

Matt took a small step towards Seth without realizing he'd done it.

Her smile didn't fade, but Seth watched as Matt's half sentences settled fully into her mind. Now she gave Seth a longer, more analytical once over, quickly decided she wasn't threatened by this phase in Matthew's life, and tilted her head almost playfully.

"You mean Foggy didn't tell you? He had to have known. When I ran into Andrew Gale late last week I knew it would only be a matter of time before the news traveled."

She took a step closer to watch what would happened, then leaned in to whisper: "I've missed you, Matthew. It's been ages. And I thought..."

"Hi!" Seth interrupted, tired of being ignored by her. "My name is Seth. I've heard... absolutely nothing about you. I can't say it's a pleasure, but it's certainly an experience."

"Matthew, is this who you went and got yourself shot for? Rumors travel fast. How about we have dinner soon. Just to catch up. I promise I'll behave."

"Elektra, this is Seth. Seth, Elektra." Matt reached over and took one of Seth's hands, needing the reassurance that he was still there, that he wasn't a hallucination. His world was spinning, and without an anchor, Matt feared falling.

"Elektra... I can't. I can't go -- anywhere with you. Please. Don't ask me to."

She pouted and Seth couldn't help but think how terribly unflattering the expression was on her face.

Maybe it had something to do with the flash of hostility he saw go through her eyes when Matt had grabbed his hand.

Again, though, Elektra was convinced it was nothing more than a phase. Matt had always been straight. Would always be.

She watched as the boy gave a reassuring squeeze back to Matt's hand and rolled her eyes. "You're my family, Matthew. We belong together -- we're too much alike to not belong. I'll give you time to settle with the idea of my return. But honestly I didn't think my presence would be such a shock. And I refuse to believe it's an unwelcome one. So I'll be in touch, Matthew. You can count on it."

And with that she silently walked away, Seth watching her go until she'd exited the building.

He looked back at Matt and lifted a hand to his face. "Are you okay?"

Matt shook his head. Feeling sick and cold, he wrapped his arms around Seth, buried his face against his shoulder, and took a harsh, gasping breath -- his first since his last words to Elektra.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, angry and ashamed and shaking and completely unable to let go.

Seth returned the embrace, his own was tight and grounding -- supportive to assure Matt that he wasn't alone.

He didn't want to throw Foggy under the bus by claiming he had thought Matt had been told. Too much had happened over the past few days to even begin to blame Matt's best friend for forgetting to deliver the news. Though, this certainly felt like something bigger than just an ex-girlfriend being in town.

"We can get food later. Do you want to go home?" His fingers ran through Matt's hair, and for a moment all he could think was how happy he was that she hadn't tried to touch Matt.

This time, at least.

"Come on. I'll read to you or something. Or we'll... I don't know. You don't have to tell me anything, though, Matt. But I'm here. I'm here."

Matt steadied his breathing and calmed himself as Seth spoke. Then, embarrassed by his weak behavior, he clenched his jaw and made himself step away -- although all he wanted was more of Seth's touches. More Seth.

"We should finish the groceries. And then... I'd really like to... listen to you read. Anything. As long as it's with you."

Though Matt had stepped away, Seth took him by the hand and lifted it up to take Seth by the elbow, offering to lead him through the store.

As they walked up and down the aisles, Seth's eyes kept going back to the entrance, half expecting to see her there again. But she'd gone.

Or so he believed.

The drive home was relatively quiet, and Seth started unpacking the groceries as soon as they were inside. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to approach the ex-girlfriend who left canyons in her wake. Before he could finish with the seemingly mindless busy work of shelving groceries, he abandoned the project and walked over to Matt, again taking him by the face and rubbing their noses together before he rested his forehead against Matt's. "Tell me what I can do? Anything, Matt. I'll read or cook or we can catch the next flight to California. Anything you need.”

"Can we go to bed?" He felt childish for asking, for thinking of bed and Seth as such a sanctuary, but together, they were. His attraction to this man had so little to do with the physical, based instead in the good things inside Seth, things he wanted to be lost in.

"I don't mean for sex, I mean... just to be there. Together. Please."

Everything at Matt's pace. That had been Seth's plan. And it still was. But he wanted to give him some kind of reassurance.

Seth took Matt gently by his face with both hands and slowly, so Matt could pull away if he wished to, stretched for a soft kiss.

"Yes," he replied. "Whatever you need. I'm not going anywhere."

Matt didn't pull away. If anything, the kiss seemed to calm him. He hadn't tried to kiss Seth again before this because he had been so unsure of how he felt, but now that he thought he knew? Matt was grateful. He kissed Seth back, adoring him and grateful for what was happening, and he wished Elektra had never walked back into his life. She'd want to take him away from Seth, and Matt just wanted to stay.

Seth kept the kiss on his side compassionate and warm instead of wanting and hot. As much as perhaps his ego was telling him to be possessive now, he couldn't do that.

"Let's go lay in bed. We'll nap. I'll be by your side when you wake up."

Matt nodded and went back to his room. He stripped down to his boxers, no longer ashamed of letting Seth see any of his scars, comfortable with letting him see his eyes as well, unguarded by the glasses that he used to keep the world out.

Once Seth was there, Matt curled up with him, eyes closed, and focused only on his heartbeat.

It took Seth a while before he could sleep, but while he was awake, his affections were constant and soft, fingertips roaming over Matt's skin, through his hair. He wanted to be happy about this, but something warred in his mind that he shouldn't get too comfortable. This wouldn't last.

Once they had both -- finally -- settled to sleep, Elektra broke into Matt's place, a blade pulled. She really had no interest in killing the kid, but maybe Matthew needed to see he wasn't worth as much trouble as he was pretending to be.

She could take Seth. Torture Matt a little as punishment. But that would anger him. Besides, it would be so much easier to just get him to come with her. "Matthew," she whispered as she moved to sit at the bar in his kitchen, waiting for him to join her.

Matt had moved carefully and quietly so as not to wake Seth, but from the instant Elektra showed up he had been ready for a fight. Now that he was over his shock, only anger pumped through him at the sound of her voice.

On silent feet, he stalked out halfway into the living room where he stopped, hands halfway curled, shoulders tensed. "What do you want, Elektra?"

"I want you, Matthew. Isn't that obvious? Come with me. Let's go out into the night. Work together like old times. We were always better together."

She was casual in the way she spoke and the way she leaned against the counter. Looking at him in the darkness made her feel... possessive, and slightly frustrated that he was even messing around with the kid. It was a waste of time and they both knew it.

"Come with me."

Matt shook his head. How the hell could she be so arrogant? He was astounded, yet bitterly so, and without any real shock.

"No. You're -- no. I don't want to go with you. I don't want you. What we had? We are never going back to. All I want from you is for you to stay out of my life."

She moved closer to him, around the edge of the bar. He was angry. She knew he likely would be. She'd pushed him too far too fast last time. This time would be more gradual. More at his pace.

Elektra reached to run fingers over his chest. "We belong together, Matthew. This phase? He won't last. Not like we do."

Her touch was still familiar and still set his skin on fire. Matt's eyes had been half open, but he closed them at her touch and took a somewhat shuddering breath before he was able to grab her hand and push it away.

"Elektra, no. No. It's over. We're over." Matt shook his head. "We're done."

She scowled and used his hold on her to pull him closer, holding him now, close, her breath mixing with his.

"Matt, nobody tells me no." Her tongue snaked out to brush along his bottom lip. "I'll find a way to make you come, Matthew." She smiled at the unintended innuendo and then let him go. "If you like him, maybe think about the best way to keep him safe." She moved toward his door. "I'll be in touch."

Matt reached out and grabbed her by the shoulder, pulling her back around to face him.

"Did you just threaten him?" He demanded. "You really think that's going to bring me back? Listen to me, Elektra, and listen very goddamn closely. I will kill myself before ever going back to you. You always wanted me to take a life? I will. My own. We are never happening again. Why can't you just accept that?"

Her playful expression fell and she looked away, causing her to seem momentarily vulnerable. "Because I love you. We were made to be together. Because you are the only one who is strong enough for me. And because I know the way your heart stutters for me."

She spared one glance toward the bedroom, opting to not make a comment on her "threat." Elektra didn't make threats. "I think your distraction is awake. Tell him I said hello, will you?" The darkness in her eyes flared. "Or I'll tell him myself next time."

Elektra kicked Matt's legs out from under him, and she was out the door before he hit the floor.

At the noise, Seth sat up in bed, then ran over to check on Matt. "What... what happened? Did I leave something in the floor? Are you okay?"

Matt hadn't seen her vulnerability of course, nor would he have believed in it if he had. He stayed on the floor for a moment, unable to answer Seth, just quiet and still before he shook his head.

"Elektra was here.”

Instead of trying to help him up, Seth joined Matt in the floor, slipping an arm under Matt's head and studying his face. "Is she always this... prone to breaking and entering? You don't have to tell me about her. But I... Do you still want me to stay?"

"She said to tell you hello," Matt said bitterly, "and yeah. Pretty much." He curled up around Seth, wishing he could guarantee his safety. "She threatened you. I don't... maybe you should... go back to California for a while until I can -- sort out this shit with her. I don't want you to go... but Elektra's an assassin. And I need you safe. Alive." Matt squeezed a little tighter.

He hadn't actually expected Matt to say yes. Something about the idea of going back to California felt so permanent. Final. And Seth wasn't close to being ready to say goodbye. But. He also didn't want to risk Matt's life by giving him a new vulnerability.

Seth pressed his cheek against Matt's forehead and tried to be comforting. "Whatever you need me to do. I... I'll do it."

Matt picked him up after a few minutes and went to curl up on the couch with him, where he still held tightly. "Seth... look I know it's... it's probably too soon and I shouldn't say this.. but I think I'm falling for you. I don't want to lose you. Not to her. I can. I can find a way to deal with her. There's got to be something. Maybe... God." He finally let go and sat up, only to hunch back over, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. "Maybe give her the worst, most boring sex of her life so she'll just. Move on." Even saying it made him feel sick, and it was audible in his voice. "I don't know. What... what do you think?" He straightened up and turned towards Seth. "We're... there's something happening between us, right?"

Seth's lips parted as the words settled over him. He hadn't wanted to say it, to admit that he was falling for the superhero who was too good for him. He didn't want to obsess over Matt after he and Ryan inevitably left here. But he would.

He knew he would.

"There is," he replied when Matt prompted. "Yes. I... yes. I don't want to leave. And as far as assassin ex-girlfriends go, I don't really have any suggestions. Clearly she's not one to take no for an answer." He reached to take Matt by the hand. "I... I'll go for a while? Let her think I'm gone? Maybe it's just seeing you with someone else. But I will come back. I promise, Matt."

Matt nodded. "Or I can come out to California. You were going to show me the sights, right? I mean. If you'd want me out there... are you -- we can survive a short separation, right...?"

"I would love to take you through California, take you out to the ocean. Matt, I... want to share every part of my life with you."

Because if that wasn't an 'I'm falling in love with you,' who the hell knew what was?

"I'll look for flights in the morning and let Ryan now we're leaving."

Matt nodded, then leaned closer and kissed him. "Thank you. I'm sorry... when you go to the airport... maybe ask Montparnasse to go with you? To watch your backs. I'm afraid that if I go with you, it'll only make you even more of a target."

"Or, we don't have to convenience anybody. If I'm leaving you, what reason could she have to attack me?"

"Just... please? Besides, he'll probably want to flirt goodbye with Ryan."

Seth sat up and pulled Matt into a lingering kiss. "Fine. Okay. If it'll make you happy."

What would make Matt happy would be more kisses with Seth. Hours of kisses, days of kisses, weeks, months. A lifetime. Maybe he was a fool for falling, but now that he had, he didn't want to get up again, to step back into reality.

Matt didn't answer aloud, but he nodded and kissed Seth again before he finally sighed and sat back. "I'm sorry that things have to be so complicated. We'll make it work. Somehow."

"I hope so," he said honestly, sadly. The truth was, it was difficult for Seth to he charming and witty from a distance. His appeal seemed to lose traction. And he was worried this time would be no different.

"Meanwhile, can we spend the day together? Whether it be in bed... um... not... I'm not asking to... I just mean reading or napping. Or we can go to the roof. Or out around town? I don't really care what we do. I’d just like to spend it with you."

When he finally mustered up enough acceptance of the situation, he sent a quick text to Ryan.

>> We have to head back home tomorrow. Will you book us a couple plane tickets? And ask Montparnasse if he'll be our escort to the airport. I don't know if you've been hanging out with him or Foggy, but I can get an uber tomorrow morning and meet you at either one of their houses to head that way. Unless you plan on sleeping here tonight.

Ryan text back almost immediately.

>> I'll let you know where to meet me. Enjoy tonight.

Matt, meanwhile, had readily agreed to spend the rest of the day with Seth. He didn't particularly care what they did as long as they were together and he could collect every moment and save it up use when the inevitable pain and separation came.

The night went smoothly and Ryan let Seth know he was staying with Montparnasse, learning... well, a variety of ways to hack into someone's life to find more creative ways of ending people's lives.

Seth and Matt were quiet and domestic, and by the morning, Seth was trying to find reasons to stay. But he knew things had to go this way. "I'll see you before you know it," he promised, offering one more soft kiss at the door as the uber pulled up.

Roughly 45 minutes later, Ryan text Matt.

>> So. Tell me he's at least on his way or we're going to miss our flight. He's not answering my calls.

[transatlanticdisposition]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

Thank you so much to everyone for the birthday wishes! I’m surprised by how many people take interest in my basket case life. I’ve got double the number of followers on Tumblr than I do on my WordPress, then again the posts I have on there are of the lowest quality that I can spew out in time. I have no idea how I’m going to make it as a freelance writer at this rate.

This year I’m turning 21, which means I’m old enough to legally drink back in the United States, though my age hasn’t stopped me from doing so in the past (sorry mom and dad). Being 21 means I have a lot of life experience, or atleast I like to be a wise-ass. So let me share some of good ‘ol life lesson I’ve learned recently.

Be the life of the party, but be smart about it. As much as I enjoy wasting my life away drinking at bar, I still have to attend classes, or try to. If you can’t handle the flames then welcome to my lil patch of Hell.

Take responsibility for you. You deserve to be where you are, who you are, how you’re treated, and what you do. If you’re going to be an asshole, own it. If you’re going to look like a mess as you run to a class that you’re late to, own it. And if you’re going to make the terrible mistake of growing out your bangs (a mistake I once made), fucking own it.

If a bitch has it coming for her, give her what she deserves. Don’t half-ass a good punch. Sometimes violence is the answer (yes, I got suspended in high school for being a bad kid).

Then again if you’re a short, weak nub like me then you should probably stay out of the ring. Bruises aren’t very good accessories. 

If you’re able to make friends, make them. Even pretend to be someone else if you have to. It makes life a lot easier when you’re not stuck studying by yourself, plus they sometimes buy you food. 

Dress to impress (yourself). You don’t have to go all out, but you’ll feel fresh and be more confident. Sometimes you just have to get out of those sweatpants with the stain on the left leg that you’ve been wearing all week. And you’ll look less lazy when compared to your other classmates.

Hook-ups are fun, trust me. However, sometimes that’s all some people are looking for when they use dating apps. 

I’ve ruined many friendships throughout my years, it’s pretty much a hobby by now. I’ve burned so many bridges I’m practically a pyromaniac. Though as fun as it is to watch other people crumble, it can start to get to you. Eventually you try to pick up the pieces and try to make thing better, but to no avail. It’ll keep you up at night as you lie there wondering why you do the awful things you do. But as I said before, you have to own it and get some rest.

Listen to music that you once thought was a from a flaming trash can (aka 90s rap) because maybe now you’ll hear the meaning behind those strong words and rhymes. It’ll either empower you or take a toll on your morale as you blare that noise through your headphones. 

Stop being a lazy ass and fucking join some societies already - make the most at university while you’re stuck there. Now people won’t consider you a total loser when you do after school extra curricular like they did in high school (I was friends with a bunch of those theater kids who weren’t doing anything with their lives, can you tell?), plus the coordinators running it will be more than delighted to have another person show up.

Get over your fear of being judged and go alone. Shop alone. Drink alone (as long as you don’t drink too much). Go to the local cafe alone. Watch a movie alone. Die alone.

Keep yourself in check. Don’t let everything in that little head of yours get the best of you. Sometimes it’s easy to only see things from your own perspective, but empathy is key. 

Somewhere along the lines you’re going to fuck up, so let it happen and embrace it. Things are going to happen, for better or for worse, but you’re not marrying the bullshit that happens so it’s important to realize that it’s all temporary. There will be nights where the same memory plays over and over in your head, causing havoc and leaving you wondering what you could’ve done to make things go more smoothly. It will happen. I still haven’t managed to piece together the solution for this, so carry on.

The people you’re stuck living with can sometimes be great people. Learn to enjoy their presence as you accompany them to parties you wouldn’t otherwise be invited to, to bars you can now get wasted at because you know who you’re going home with, and to new place you won’t have know about without them. Living with someone else is the easiest way to get to know someone new that’ll eventually be a good friend (or not).

When you live somewhere with limited daylight it can be hard to stay productive. Just because the sun goes down does not mean the day is over, you still have to get your shit done all whilst avoiding the urge to binge watch on Netflix.

If you need help, especially with university work, ask for it. No one is going to offer it to you unless you approach them first. This whole adult world thing can be confusing and frustrating at times, however others are experienced and often will lend a hand. Don’t lose hope when you can’t do it yourself even after giving it your best shot. Swallow your pride and seek out some guidance.

Don’t be ashamed of what you have to do to get by, whether it’s chugging several energy drinks to keep your eyes open and your brain focused, or stumbling as you frantically run to class in a pair of heels that were instantly a bad choice (but not a bad fashion choice). Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself if you mess up - accept that you are who you are.

As for parting words, a wise man once said:

“Smile now, cry later.” -Tupac

Or something my brother once said as we were going over a bridge:

“We’re all gonna die, we’re all gonna die, hi-ho, the derry-o, it’s time to say goodbye!” -Matthew

I’ve learned from my life of mistakes, you should too,

Mo

P.S. Hold on because life is going to get bumpy.