#need some of that deserved freedom in my DR

[yuxinmi]

Soooo sick of school,,,,,might as well shift to my DR tonite :p

[jarofstyles]

Lush

Hello my ducklings! Since we have been getting a lot of questions about our Patreon and what is included, we decided to give you guys peeks into the series we have exclusively on there. This is Lush, escort y/n x dark businessman H. There will be some twists and turns in this one, hot smut, a fake relationship and a possessive and slightly obsessive dark H- our favorite. This series will only be on Patreon but this is the first part to give you a taste!

Check out our Patreon for access to Lush and our other exclusive series + 100+ exclusive writings.

Warnings- escorting, mention of homelessness and money struggles, daddy kink etc

WC- 2.9k

-----

Y/N knew her job, and she did it well.

Sit still, look pretty. Perched on her favorite client’s lap, his strong thigh covered in a trouser that matched the blazer that probably cost more than she’d made in the last 3 months, she sipped her champagne quietly and ‘let the men talk.’

Harry Styles was an enigma. He had popped up a few weeks ago, bringing her to a dinner after a debriefing in a lux hotel in one of the bigger hotels on the Vegas strip. The window had overlooked it all, a penthouse that seemed to be used quite frequently considering the fridge had been stocked and he had socks stuffed in a drawer that she’d used later that night.

“I need you to sit on my lap, keep me company.” He had said plainly. The man was intimidating. Broad and tall, soft brown hair swept back and off his forehead. Stubble shadowing his face and over his lip, his features were sharp and his eyes a little harsh, but she could whole heartedly admit that he was the most attractive client she’d ever had. Being a year in after escaping a situation that was still haunting her nightmares, she had been eager to accept the higher paying and well vetted job she had, thank god, stumbled into. It wasn’t conventional, no, but nothing really was in Vegas.

“I can do that.” She replied, hands folded in her lap. He stood before her as she had sat on the couch, looking up at him as he spoke. “Is that all we’re doing in our time together?” To put it in a nicer way of asking. She could have bluntly asked if he was going to want sex, but she did try to at least have a little decorum- until the situation granted the freedom of it. It wasn’t uncommon for her and she was safe, tested, and generally did enjoy sex- but it was a job. This time, however, would probably be enjoyed more than she had in the past. A real attraction to the man would be helpful in many parts of making this more enjoyable.

“Who said that?” He rose a brow, looking down at her. It was a smoldering look but she couldn’t find it in herself to look away as he got closer and tilted her chin up. “I intend to take everything you’ll offer. I’d suggest canceling your plans for tomorrow.” She didn’t have to ask why. It was clear this man intended to fuck her, and fuck her well.

Spoiler- he did.  Harry had, for all intents and purposes, rocked her shit. So when she found his name on her books twice the next week, she hadn’t complained. She’d been excited, actually, considering she’d been able to feel the sting of her ass when she’d sat in the Lyft the next morning to take her to her apartment. Another good thing about him, she found as she looked in her purse, was that he tipped extremely well. More than was deserved, if she was being honest, but the one time the girl brought it up he had shoved another hundred dollar bill into the waistband of her sleep shorts and sent her on her way.

It had become known to her that he specifically requested her. If she wasn’t available, he’d offer more money than the other client was paying- and her Madam had no problem with that, considering it upped her cut. She found herself with him 3 times this week, frequenting clubs and drowning out business talk as his large hand splayed across her waist and the other hand held a sweaty amber colored liquor on the rocks. Much to many of her friends and client’s surprise, Y/N didn’t drink much. She stuck to lighter things, champagne and rosé, and kept to a one to two drink maximum. She preferred keeping a clear head when on the job and honestly? Drinking wasn’t her thing. A buzz was nice, but anything past that meant a headache in the morning. She wasn’t a morning person to begin with.

This meeting was going past its normal time, making her wonder what was being said. If she was being frank- Y/N didn’t do much listening in his meetings. It felt like they were talking in code, another language, and she couldn’t be assed to listen about imports and exports and blah, blah, blah. Her brain was happy to sit and be warm on a handsome man’s lap, observing the dance floor. Dancing used to be so fun, something she’d always loved to do as a child. Now she didn’t get to do as much, even though she’d wished she could. Club dancing was far different than her normal type but if she was on the balcony of the most VIP of the VIP sections, she was going to take her people watching to the next level.

“Y’alright?” His raspy voice breathed over her ear, not taking his eyes off the men who were talking amongst themselves. “I know it’s late. We can go back soon.” While Harry wasn’t the most warm and fuzzy person, he did respect her time. He was a little scary, truthfully, and she didn’t want to upset him. He hadn’t done anything wrong. He was respectful and kind to her, he spoiled her with tips and orgasms, and she had no complaints. If staying out a bit later than he had said was the least of her worries besides his scowling, she was golden.

“I’m okay.” She smiled. “People watching. Sorry, I’m not paying attention. Dunno what half of the stuff you’re talking about means.”

Y/N had no reality of what he did. No clue. She was too afraid to google him. To ruin the illusion she had of him in her head. He passed the background test and signed the heavy contract that came with hiring her, so he wasn’t about to harm her or anything- and from what she’s learned in Vegas, sometimes you’re better off not knowing. There was a lot of shady business practices that went on. It was legitimately upset her if he was a bad person outside of the law, so she decided not to go searching for answers she possibly didn’t want to find.

“That’s good.” He murmured, pressing a private kiss underneath her ear. “Don’t worry about it. S’nothing interesting anyways. Got t’keep up appearances.” His voice dropped. “Would much rather be between your thighs. Missed this body while I was away.”

And, Oh. It made her hot, a nervous giggle leaving her throat as the words tickled against her ear. Harry had gone away on a business trip, he’d prefaced it because he had been gone 4 day. He’d prescheduled to meet her on the day he came back. Her stomach did a swoop in her body as the cool hand that held his glass deposited it on the table, finding her thigh and squeezing over it. “You did?”

She had to wonder if he was buttering her up, but the thought was dispelled because Harry didn’t need to do that. He had always been a bit blunt and she liked that about him. Less sweet talk that he didn’t mean. What he said made sense- complimenting her body and her mouth and appearance, what she did for him, but he never went too far and said things he didn’t mean. So she believed him when he nodded, slipping his hand further up her dress and making her swallow thickly. He’d given her pretty lingerie he’d bought from wherever he went, the buttery silk laying against her body under the dress that hugged her figure. Red, he said, because she was a little devil between the sheets. “I did. Got t’bring you with me next time.”

Some girls did that. Y/N wasn’t even sure what the rate would be for a trip, but the idea appealed to her. “You sure you can afford it?” She whispered back, a playful tilt to her lips. Obviously he could. He was by far the wealthiest man she had in her books, evident by the liquor he ordered, the watches he wore and the cars the drove in. It was arousing to her, if she was being honest. When she settled down one day, the one thing she really wanted was financial stability. Maybe that sounded shallow, but with her history with no money and being a little jaded, it made sense to her.

“Can afford that, and a shopping spree for you while I do business.” He brushed his cool fingertips against her slightly damp panties. Harry didn’t smile often, but when he did? It was a smirk. A hot, arrogant little smirk that she should probably be annoyed by, but wasn’t. “Need to get you out of here, though. Have something I want to talk to you about before I sink you down on my cock.” His fingers retreated after a gentle brush to find them wet, moving to her leg as he began to wrap up the meeting. People would listen, even if they weren’t finished- he just had that way about him.

—--

Y/N had no clue what, exactly, he wanted to talk to her about. They’d had some nice conversations so far about a plethora of things. Movies, books, restaurants, some morals. But it wasn’t too deep. Both of them had seen it for what it was, even if they had impeccable sexual chemistry. She didn’t know the man all that well, only what was told to her and what he had divulged- and knowing the man had a sweet tooth didn’t account for much. So it was slightly intimidating when he asked her to meet him in the living room of the suite as he put away his watch and jacket.

What could he possibly have to talk to her about? Her brain was coming up with nothing.

“C’mere.” He sat himself down on the couch, offering his lap back up to her. It wasn’t something she did in private unless his hands were down her panties or she was riding him, but she decided to go for it. Her heels kicked off to the side, she sat herself back in the familiar way. It had taken her off guard, but his hand took her own and she watched as he flipped it over, thumbing over her ring finger. “I need to ask you a favor. A proposition.” He murmured, calculating eyes going back to her face. “And you can say no, if you want. I’ll understand.” Of course, this made her alarm bells ring but there was little time to panic. Considering he was a very get to the point man, he did exactly that. “I’d like for you to quit your current job and pretend to be my fiance.”

The bomb was dropped. Why, exactly, a man of his caliber needed a fake fiance? She had not a fucking clue. Harry continued, her face slack in shock. He took that into account, it seemed. “I like you. You’re polite, know how to behave in public. Gorgeous little thing. You’re intelligent, you’re quick, and you understand how to keep to yourself. That’s a very valuable thing to me.” His thumb resumed rubbing her ring finger. “We have incredible sex. You fulfill and exceed my needs, and I’m satisfied with sex for once in my life.” Y/N let him do whatever he wanted and thoroughly enjoyed it. There was no faking it with them. Their chemistry crackled in the air when it shifted. There was no doubting that. “My family has been pressuring me to settle down. I have no time to properly date, nor the desire to.” He sure as fuck wasn’t the type to go on dating apps, and the dating pool he was around was a lot of vapid people with money hungry libidos. At least he would know Y/N was there for money and there would be no confusion between them. “I enjoy your company. It isn’t traditional nor conventional, but I’d provide for you. I will deposit your average monthly income in your own bank account and give you a card to my own. I’d pay for your rent while you stay with me, and you’d have free time to do as you please. Whatever hobbies you’d like. Horse riding, art, reading, I don’t care what it is if you like it.”

Her head was swimming. What the fuck? She’d heard of men falling in love with escorts, sure, but this seemed… More transactional. For some reason, it made her feel a little more comfortable. He wasn’t proclaiming love after barely knowing her. He knew how it went and that she needed to be provided for. “Like a sugar baby?” She blurted out.

“Not particularly. My fiance in title. You’ve been introduced as my girl to everyone already, so it isn’t a difficult sell to anyone but my family. We’d announce our engagement, I’ll bring you to London to meet them, let it run it’s course.” His eyes bore into hers. “I don’t want you with anyone else while you’re mine. I’ll be the only one you sleep with, and vice versa. I don’t want you to split your time between me and anyone else. I’m asking for devotion, which is a lot. But I’d like it to be you.”

“Why?” Y/N knew he had explained it but it was still confusing. “I know what you’ve said but… surely theres other people that you’d want to ask? I’m just an escort you’ve been seeing for a little while. I mean.. The sex is great, don’t get me wrong.” And she was extremely attracted to him and his energy, but… “I’m not in my escort mode all the time. I don’t want to be working 24/7. I’m not as docile while off the clock.” She wasn’t about to get put into 24/7 smile and nod territory. It was fine when it was an outing, or even a night, but she did have a personality she quite liked outside of it.

“I wouldn’t expect you to be agreeable all the time. In fact, I’d like to see you fight me a little.” Harry’s smirk returned. “Makes the sex hotter. But…” he returned to his business face. “I chose you because we get along. I don’t like a lot of people. I may pretend I do, but it’s difficult for me to find people who don’t make me irritated. You’re… interesting to me.” It wasn’t the answer she expected, no, but still. She had more questions.

“So what about after it’s all done and over with? I’ll end up on the streets, homeless again because I know Madam isn’t going to just let me back on her lists.” She crossed her arms, not realizing what she’d said. Harry caught it, pocketing it for later. It didn’t sit right that she had been on the streets at all, but that wasn’t a topic he could broach right now. He didn’t have the right to ask yet.

“I will make sure you’re set after this is done.” He promised. “I will have all of your expenses covered while you’re with me. Nails, hair, food, clothing, hobbies. You’ll be making your pay and then some every week and not touching it. And if it ends early, I will payout an extra mil. Does that sound reasonable?” He rose an eyebrow. “I’ve got the paperwork with me, but you can sit on it if you want.”

“How long can I sit on it for?” It took everything in her to not bite at her nails. The one thing the acrylics were good for was curbing that habit. “It’s not a no, but I’d like to look at the contract and have a lawyer look over it before I agree to anything.” As young as she may seem, she wasn’t stupid. This would be a perfect way to take advantage of her. While she didn't have that feeling from him, she’d be dumb not to protect herself.

She didn’t expect the smile from him, but it made her heart beat a bit faster as he brought her hand up to kiss it. “Smart fuckin’ girl you are.” He laughed. “Good. That works with me. I hope you do sign it, though.” His eyes darkened a bit. Harry wasn’t good at sharing and the idea of this pretty thing belonging to him, in essence, made his dick twitch. “I’d love to take you with me to Italy and see you on my yacht. Maybe fuck you on it. Think you’d really love that.”

Y/N had a feeling she would, too. The idea of being with one man, a man she so far enjoyed despite a bit of arrogance and intimidation, was appealing after a year here. But she needed to cover her own ass before sinking into something too good to be true. “I would.” Her nails moved from his hand to card through his soft hair. “I’d love that. But I think you should focus on tonight, hm?” Her legs opened a little, and she guided his hand back to where it had been previously. “Take a look at the pretty things you’ve already got, Daddy.”

[floralcyanidee]

ɪ sᴇᴇ ғɪʀᴇ - ᴊ. ʀᴏʙᴇʀᴛ ᴏᴘᴘᴇɴʜᴇɪᴍᴇʀ

Cillian!Oppenheimer x AFAB!Reader (NSFW)

request: scientist reader and Oppenheimer have sm sexual tension between them and trying to hide their feelings for each other cause they're colleagues but then when the Manhattan Project comes up and they both work on it together it just gets too much to handle. by @aporiasposts

disclaimer: this is a work of fanfiction. cillian's representation of oppenheimer is also fictional to a degree. if you dislike this kind of fanfiction, please keep scrolling and do not interact with this post. otherwise, have a lovely day. ♥

warnings: smut, penetrative sex, p in v sex, unprotected sex, multiple positions used, mutual pining, years of sexual tension

word count: 2090

author’s note: please read the disclaimer several times if you must before you decide to comment something snarky or send a dense anonymous ask. (: this is my first time writing smut for Robert so it was interesting!! I rather enjoyed it and I think I'm going to finish the other smut I was going to write for him. also, I changed the request details a little. reader is a historian/ political scientist of sorts instead of a scientist. I feel like there is a lot of scientist!reader fics out there and wanted to be a little different haha. I hope everyone enjoys!

main masterlist | cillian murphy masterlist | add yourself to the taglist here

Having a doctorate in history has led you to places you never thought possible. One of those places ended up being the University of California - Berkeley. You were given the opportunity to lecture there with some of the brightest minds in the country- one of them being physicist Dr. J. Robert Oppenheimer. Your disciplines differed but had the same solid foundation of facts, evidence, and logic. Needing to see things to believe it for yourself was one thing the two of you had in common, which brought you together. You were interested in his lectures and as he was yours. Both of you have learned a lot from each other and have become good friends. However, there were times when you would interact, and it felt intense. You’d grade papers together in comfortable silence, sometimes stealing glances at one another. Whenever you caught Robert staring, you’d give him a small, knowing smile. When he caught you staring, he’d hold your gaze, which made you nervous. 

You enjoyed attending Robert’s political discussions after class to see how passionate he was about current issues. Dr. Lawrence, your other beloved colleague, often warned you to avoid them, but you ignored him. The energy you’d feel toward Robert every time he’d rant about how every person deserves the freedom and the right to choose was electric. It was the very basis of your beliefs as a historian and a professor. The two of you would often go for a cigarette in the courtyard between classes to enjoy the fresh air and discuss politics. Robert loved hearing your stance on things, especially since you knew your stuff about the history of politics and how things work with them. The tensions were high that day, and before you knew it, Robert leaned into you as you spoke. But before anything could happen, it was time for classes to resume. So you went your respective ways. 

When you were contacted by the government to assist on a top-secret project, you were shocked. They needed your expertise in politics and history, as well as your reading and writing skills. You asked if Robert would be involved due to his talent in psychics, but you got no answer. You didn’t take long to learn of Dr. Lawrence’s involvement in the project, and you were ecstatic to have someone you knew tagging along. He was worried about Robert not being present for the Manhattan Project simply because of his mutual and close friends being communists. You insisted you’d speak to Robert about the matter, but Ernest objected. However, after a meeting about the Spanish Revolution that Robert had held, Ernest blew up on him. He mentioned there was a project and that Robert wasn’t allowed on it as long as he was sticking his nose in communist politics. So, Robert stopped the meetings, and sure enough, General Leslie Groves eventually poked his way into Robert’s office one afternoon to discuss the Project. 

Now, the three of you were involved and had to leave Berkeley. Robert quickly assumed the position of Project leader and already had a location picked out for the Project headquarters. You had heard many stories of this location from him and demanded he take you to it before construction began. You and Robert left Berkeley and traveled to Los Alamos via horse, talking and laughing the whole time about your childhoods and times in school. You both decided to camp there overnight and enjoy the desert and its beautiful sky before dealing with the most significant project in human history. As you sat by the fire that night with Robert, you stared at the sky in wonder. Robert watched you with just as much wonder, enjoying seeing you smile. Because pretty soon, there wouldn’t be much to smile about.

By the time you had moved into Los Alamos and started getting to work, the tension between you and Robert was becoming impalpable. The camping trip solidified whatever was going on between you two- even if it was nothing at all as of right now. Robert ensured you were at every meeting so you could give your two cents if it was needed; you were the brains and the empathy of the project. Gen. Groves admired you for it because no matter how steep the project was getting, you never once panicked or got in over your head. He also admired how you managed to keep your hands off Robert despite how you looked at him. And one day, he mentioned it to you.

“What’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get out of here?” Gen. Groves asked you one day during a field test.

“Oh, uh,” you hadn’t given it much thought, “I’m not sure. Probably continue lecturing.”

“No one special in your life you want to be with?” Groves asked, a kind smile on his face.

“Not really,” you mumbled sadly, your eyes glanced over at Robert, “Not yet, anyway.”

“Maybe once all of this is over, you can pursue them,” Groves suggested knowingly, “We’re so close now. It won’t be long.”

You nodded, seeing that he knew who was on your mind just by how he studied you, “Maybe.”

After all the hard work and growing sexual tension over the tedious years at Los Alamos, the bubble separating you and Robert finally burst the morning of the Trinity Test. The test was a success, and Robert was basking in the afterglow. Everything from getting his hand shaken to being carried by the crowd of excited and ecstatic workers- it brought him some relief. There’s always sunshine before the rain. 

You invited Robert over to your quaint house on the outskirts of Los Alamos for your nightly glass of wine, but this time it was heavier. It was more meaningful because you finally accomplished what you’d been working so hard for. When Robert sat next to you on the chaise next to the fireplace, his leg touched yours. The sexual energy was like a thick, wet blanket. You took large gulps of your wine as Robert’s eyes stared into yours, his glass pressed to his lips with slower sips.

“I can’t believe it’s all over,” you shook your head.

“Me either.”

“What do we do now? What’s life after this going to be like?”

“I’m not sure about that,” Robert had set his wine down on the floor, “But I’m sure about something else.”

“And what’s that?” you asked, polishing off your drink.

“You.”

You slowly sat back up after putting your empty glass on the floor by your feet, “Me?”

“Yes,” Robert paused, “Ever since I met you, I’ve wanted you in ways I can’t explain. And I can usually explain anything.”

You chuckled at that, nodding in agreement, “That you can.”

Robert leaned in, and your smile faltered. His hand reached up to touch your cheek gently, his thumb pushing some of your hair out of the way. Your eyes fluttered shut as you waited with bated breath for Robert to finally, finally kiss you. It had been years of waiting now. And the second his lips pressed to yours, all that time seemed to drift away. There was an explosion in your chest at the feeling of Robert pressing against you on the chaise, pushing you down onto its cushions. His coat and tie have long since been discarded, so all you have to do is worry at the buttons of his shirt with your shaking fingers. Eventually, you get the shirt opened and off his slender frame as it hovered over you. Robert let his skillful tongue slip past your lips with ease, exploring every centimeter of your mouth. How you had longed for this moment.

“Need you, Robert,” you pulled away for air and sighed as his hands pushed up your legs and underneath your dress, “Always have.”

“I’m here, darling. I’m here now.”

Robert shoved the skirt of your dress over your hips and stomach, revealing your slowly soaking white and dainty underwear. He hummed in satisfaction when his finger circled the wet spot at your entrance, causing a moan to leave your lips.

“Eager, are we?” he teased, pulling down your underwear without hesitation.

“Yes,” you said bravely, “Now, nothing fancy tonight. We have plenty of time for other things, but for now, I need you inside me.”

“Alright then,” Robert chuckles, hastily unbuckling his slacks before pushing them far enough down his legs to be comfortable.

He glided his tip along your slickness, gathering all he could to push inside you with less friction. You whined at the contact, a wanton moan escaping you suddenly as he moved into you at a patient pace. But you were anything but patient, especially at this point. You pushed your hips, causing Robert to enter you further, to which he let out a delicious groan. His hands gripped your sides intensely, sure to leave bruises tomorrow. He buried his face in your neck, his teeth baring down into the skin as he felt you suck his cock in. 

“Wanted- needed this for so long,” Robert whispered in your ear as his tip finally brushed against your insides.

“God, me too,” you cried out when he slowly pulled back out and then slammed back into you, “Fuck.”

“Such a dirty mouth,” Robert tutted playfully, to which you flashed him a smile, moving your hips to wiggle him further inside you.

Robert had thrust himself into you again, this time a little faster than the last. He kept doing this until he had a steady rhythm, lifting your legs to put on his shoulders to get a better angle. You growled at the sensation of him hitting your cervix, and your hands scratched down his back. Robert picked up speed, almost making the chaise scoot on the floor. He was fucking you like mad, and you were taking every second of it like his cock was water and you were thirsting in the desert. In this situation, the figure of speech wasn’t too far from the truth. The feeling of him repeatedly steering into your stomach made you nearly squeal from pleasure. Robert presses your thighs to your shoulders, the undersides of them against his chest. You were a mess, moaning like a whore and gripping Robert as if you blinked hard enough, he’d disappear.

“Taking me like such a good girl,” Robert grunted, moving a hand to your cunt to swipe at your clit in time with his thrusts.

You tossed your head back, crying out at the sensation. No one had ever fucked you with such vigor and passion. You felt that growing bubble in your gut, expecting it to burst any second.

“Cum in me,” you demanded, “Need to feel you.”

Robert laughed breathlessly at you, “Are you sure?”

“Certain.”

And as if he weren’t going fast enough, he pulled out, flipped you over, and took you from behind even faster than before. Robert pushed your cheek into the chaise cushion, watching you as you side-eyed him with utmost pleasure. You could feel yourself clenching around him, your orgasm creeping up. Robert pushed your lower back down as far as it’d go, your stomach flush with the material of the chaise underneath you. Your ass being in the air caused Robert to hit a new spot inside you, sending you reeling and spilling over the edge. As your cunt suffocated his cock with its walls, Robert followed your release with his own. His hot cum filled you up with warmth, your hips still bouncing against him. Robert panted from behind you, slowly pulling himself out of your now-dripping pussy. 

You rolled back onto your back, now facing Robert, “That was… wow,” you exhaled.

“I concur,” Robert joked, sitting back and pulling you onto his lap.

You hummed in exhaustion, blissed out as you hung your head on his shoulder.

“Want to stay?” you asked tiredly, eyeing the now-spilled remainder of wine Robert had placed on the floor earlier. You’d worry about it tomorrow.

“I’d love to,” Robert muttered into your ear, kissing it before picking you up off his lap.

The rest of your night is spent watching Robert study you as you lay beside each other in bed. He took you in as if he was seeing you in a new perspective- and he was. Robert was as curious about you as he was about the world and how it worked. Except now, he had to worry about not destroying you like he had the world.

taglist:

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[indigo-o]

The Pet clown

Pt 2

I think we know who it's abt lmao

Nikolai gogol x reader PLATONIC

And some fyodor

Reader is a teenager

Tw impatient stuff depression, fyodor drugging, sleep deprivation, those annoying blankets they give at mental hospital even tho it's like -1 degrees Celsius if you know you know, talk of death, yandere fyodor, Manipulation from fyodor, Nikolai gogol, I think that's it so yeah

Angst/fluff

I wish you were here, this room is empty. White walls, heavy doors, thin white blankets, and chained blury windows.

This thin gown can't keep me warm. I know him. He just wants what's best for me. I guess that even means putting me in this room. This room to keep me safe.

Safe from me. No possibility of me hurting. I'm to sick leave this bed and to tired to talk. He says I'm helping him.

Im helping him cleanse the world of evil. So I guess if my pain will save the world I'll stay in this room.

Everybody else deserves to be happy and well so I'll hurt for them. If one death would save the world I'd die.

My body's purple now.

I hear a click at the heavy door. To my surprise it wasn't a anemic rat, it was his pet clown.

"QUIZZZZZ TIMEEEEEE! WHY AM I HERE INSTEAD OF DOS-KUN?! I THINK I HEARD YOU SAY CAUSE HES HAVING FUN! CORRECT!".

I looked at him. My eyes were heavy. But he did bring some color to the room. I smiled at him.

I opened my mouth to talk but I couldn't.

"Oh dove you still can't talk! I forgot! Dos-kun told me to take you outside to have some fun.".

He lied, either were not going to have fun or fyodor didn't tell him anything. Either way I was going to have to walk. I knew I couldn't but I was going to try anyway.

Fyodor knew If I could walk I'd escape from him. So he kept me physically, emotionally and mentally sick. I would have no choice to stay.

As soon as I got to my legs I collapsed, but Nikolai caught me.

"Silly me I forgot you can't walk guess I'll carry you.".

He picked me up as if I were a little kid.

"D-dont dr-rop.". I manged to get out.

"Oh dove I may be crazy but not only do we need you, Dos-kun would kill me, but I want to protect you from harm. Not like you can protect yourself in this state.".

I looked at him. Then laying on him. We proceeded to go through his cape.

We were in what seemed to be his house/apartment.

He went to put me down on his couch but he's so warm.

"Wait w-warm.".

He looked down at me.

"I guess we can go out later.". He picked me back up and took me to his bed. Laying me down cuddled with blankets, pillows and now a pet clown. I shut my eyes and finally went to sleep.

I woke up to Nikolai looking down at me.

"Am I a good pillow?". I realized how I was very much on him.

I nodded my head.

"You want to go outside for a bit dove?". He was using a soft tone.

He wasn't ever like this

Maybe because I'm a teenager but I don't know.

He got up "You slept threw the whole night, but the good thing is we have a whole day today and tomorrow, you know why?".

He leaned in close "I lied Dos-kun is away and he doesn't believe in your freedom so I'm here to show him that you're a good kid who won't run away. You see Dos-kun takes away your warmth so you can't sleep making you so tired that's why you slept for so long he wants you to be weak, weak without freedom. I'm here to give you freedom. To fly like a dove.".

He went to his closet and pulled out some clothes.

"Here's so clothes to wear so we're not caught. That sounds weird. I my dear am a very wanted person so I must look different and you can't really walk let alone the sun should hurt you eyes so if I were to be caught you wouldn't leave be caught up in it.".

What ever he said I guess.

I changed and so did he and he look pretty different

He picked me up and took me to wheel chair that he some how got, but I shouldn't question it.

He placed me in the chair and we Leigt looked like sibling going out for fun.

"F-flowers please.". I looked to him.

"You want flowers we will get flowers.".

We went to florist.

"Hi! What flowers are yall looking for!". She sounded very happy.

"What do you want dear?". Nikolai asked

While I could barely see I knew exactly what I want.

"R-rose and Lillys.".

"Of course dear I'll get right to that!".

The rest of day was amazing

I got flowers, yummy pastries and other stuff.

Who knew a deranged clown could be so kind. But at last we came back to his apartment/house.

He made dinner for us and helped me get to the bed. He tucked me in.

"Good night dove.".

I woke up

Back in the room

The room with white walls, a heavy door, thin blanket and blury chains windows. But now there wad a desk but with roses and lily's on top of it.

I heard the door click. An anemic rat with his pet clown walked in.

"You've proven yourself for now, you may keep your roses and lily's. Nikolai may visit you now and then. One thing. You may not regain full energy but.".

He stopped his words and Nikolais smile grew.

"YOU CAN HAVE A NICER BLANKET AND I CAN READ BED TIME STORYS TO YOU ONCE A WEEK!".

He ran over to with a puppy dog smile.

"Don't make regret this.". The anemic rat walked away throwing the key at the pet clown.

That was alot longer than I expected but I hope yall liked it!♡♡

[mywitchyblog]

Adressing the Race-Changing Discourse

It seems that a debate has been stirred up within the Shiftblr community, and my recent posts might have unintentionally added fuel to the fire. So, let me clear up where I stand.

First off, do I race change? No, I don’t. It’s just not something I’ve felt the need to do in my shifting practice. But do I support others who choose to race change? Absolutely, as long as they’re doing it with respect and not for some fetishizing bullshit.

There are two things everyone needs to keep in mind when it comes to this whole controversy:

Respect for Opinions: Everyone is entitled to their own damn opinion. If someone doesn’t like the idea of race changing, that’s their business. But what we can’t stand for is bullying, harassing, or insulting someone just because they see things differently. Everyone’s perspective deserves respect, even if you don’t agree with it.

Diverse Preferences: Just like some people don’t like using face claims or prefer not to mess with certain Desired Realities (DRs), some people don’t like race changing. And that’s perfectly fine! It’s called freedom of speech and opinion, and it’s a fundamental right—only limited when you start screwing with someone else’s rights.

Now, here’s where things get real problematic:

If you’re cussing people out, insulting them, or harassing them because they disagree with you, you’ve crossed a line. No one has the right to attack others over their opinions. Period.

To those who oppose race changing: I get it. I understand that you might feel uncomfortable with it, and that’s completely within your rights. HOWEVER, it’s crucial to recognize that not everyone who shifts to a different race is doing it to fetishize or sexualize that race. That’s a fact that needs to be acknowledged, no ifs, ands, or buts.

Yes, there are people who misuse the practice of race changing, but you’ve also got to recognize the other side of the coin—the respectful and beneficial aspects of this practice within the shifting community. Here’s the thing: nothing in reality shifting is inherently good or bad, black or white. It’s all shades of grey, full of infinite nuances.

And let’s be real—some of you are being downright hypocritical.

Yeah, I said it. You can argue or debate in the comments all you want, but the truth is, some of you are cool with people shifting to become Mermaids, Animals, Aliens, Na’vi, and whatnot, but then you turn around and label anyone who changes their ethnicity as weird or wrong.

That, my friends, is the textbook definition of a hypocritical double standard. It’s the same damn thing.

If I were to ask why you shift to become a Na’vi, a dragon, a god, or an alien, I’m sure your reasons would be rooted in curiosity and exploration—not to sexualize or fetishize that race, right? The same logic applies to those who shift into a different human ethnicity.

You can’t claim that one side of the apple is bad while the other is perfectly fine. It doesn’t work that way. If one side’s rotten, the whole damn apple is.

Yet, while shifting to become a fictional or non-human race is often celebrated as a form of exploration and creativity, shifting to become a different human race is slapped with labels like wrong or offensive. This criticism completely ignores the potential for personal growth, empathy development, and deeper understanding that comes from experiencing life through the lens of a different racial identity. Just like with age changing, race changing in shifting can be a powerful tool for healing, exploration, and expanding your consciousness.

The hypocrisy here is glaring: the same people who criticize race changing as cultural appropriation or fetishization often have no problem with the idea of embodying entirely "fictional races", which can involve similar, if not greater, levels of stereotyping and romanticization. Keep in mind that in the context of reality shifting it is not fictional nothing is.

Imagine if someone discovered that you shifted to be their race and they are discriminated and persecuted and you shifted because of it (looking at you Avatar shifters that shift to be a Na Vi you are litterally shifting to be Native american but with a blue paint on top be fucking for real, you cannot ignore the fact that they litterally inspired at 99% by Native culture and their struggle against colonial forces The remaining 1% is the fictional setting, remove that and its just human history from this reality).

If the argument is that adopting another race’s identity is wrong because it involves stepping into experiences not your own, then the same damn logic should apply to any form of identity transformation in shifting. But it doesn’t—and that’s where the double standard lies.

This hypocritical double standard also reminds me of how teenage shifters react when they hear about adults aging themselves down to be minors. They immediately assume the worst—yet have no problem aging themselves up to 30-something parents in one DR and then being 16 in the next. This inconsistency shows a deeper misunderstanding of what shifting truly involves and how it allows us to explore different aspects of identity and experience with respect and intention.

[gigi-the-writer]

Yandere Dr. Flug x Reader

In a desperate attempt to reclaim your freedom, you confront Dr. Flug, only to find that his calculated responses expose the depth of your reliance on him—and your struggle becomes painfully clear.

---

The silence in your room was oppressive, the walls closing in as you grappled with the events of the past few months. You had been a prisoner in Flug’s lair long enough, and it was time to reclaim your freedom. The resolve to confront him filled you with a mix of fear and determination. 

As you steeled yourself, you remembered the way Flug had calmly dismantled your arguments before. This time would be different. You would make a solid case, and you wouldn’t back down.

You found him in the lab, surrounded by an array of beeping machines and scattered papers. He was immersed in his work, a clipboard in hand, checking off tasks with a precision that only he could muster. The eerie calmness in the room heightened your anxiety, but you pushed through. 

“Flug!” you called out, trying to keep your voice steady. He glanced up, eyebrows slightly raised, before returning his focus to his clipboard. You took a deep breath, gathering your courage. “I need to talk to you about letting me go.”

He paused, finally meeting your gaze, though his expression remained impassive. “Oh? And what would you do once I let you go?” 

You felt a rush of determination. “I’d find a job, like my last one—at a restaurant.”

Flug’s lips twisted into a condescending smirk, his eyes glinting with amusement. “Waiting tables won’t hold down an apartment for you. You’d be lost without my support. Remember, I’ve been paying for your rent all this time.”

You swallowed hard, heat creeping up your neck. “I appreciate that, but I can survive on my own!”

“Can you?” he challenged, his voice unnervingly calm. He continued to scribble on his clipboard, clearly unfazed by your agitation. “What’s your plan for making money? How would you manage without a stable job?”

Frustration bubbled within you, and you followed him as he moved to another station, desperate to keep the conversation going. “I would find something! I just need a chance to prove myself.”

Flug turned to face you, his expression one of mild curiosity. “And what if you don’t get hired? What’s your backup plan? You’ve had months to think about this, yet here we are.”

“I could apply at more restaurants, or maybe cafes!” you blurted out, trying to sound confident. 

His condescending tone cut through the air. “And how long would that take? A few weeks? Months? What will you do in the meantime? How will you eat? Where will you sleep? You can’t even begin to grasp how difficult it is to survive out there.”

You clenched your fists, anger flaring. “I can’t just stay here forever! I want my life back!”

“Why not?” he asked, tilting his head as if he genuinely didn’t understand. “You’re safe here. You’re cared for. Outside, you’ll face dangers you can’t even begin to comprehend.”

You felt your resolve wavering under his piercing gaze. “But I deserve to live my own life!” you shot back, though the conviction in your voice faltered.

“Do you?” he replied, crossing his arms. “What life are you talking about? You’ve been depending on me for everything. What happens when you walk out that door and realize it’s not as simple as you thought?”

You struggled for words, your mind racing. “I just need some time to adjust! You can’t expect me to have everything figured out right now!”

Flug chuckled lightly, shaking his head. “Adjust to what? A world that doesn’t care for you? Do you honestly believe you can just waltz back into your old life without consequences?”

“Stop treating me like I’m helpless!” you exclaimed, frustration spilling over. “I can handle myself!”

He stepped closer, an unsettling smile playing on his lips. “Can you really? You’d be amazed at how quickly someone can fall through the cracks. What would you do on your first night alone? Scavenge for food? Sleep on the street?”

You recoiled at the thought, but his words struck a nerve. “I’d find a way,” you insisted, though your voice wavered.

“Would you?” he continued, his tone now almost patronizing. “How would you navigate the job market without connections? Have you even considered that? Or do you plan to rely on the same people who might not even recognize you anymore?”

Each question felt like a weight on your chest, suffocating you. “I would make new connections! I could—”

“Make new connections?” he interrupted, shaking his head. “Do you have any idea how hard that is? You don’t even know where to start. You’d be like a child lost in a maze, expecting to find your way out without any guidance.”

The dread in his tone sent chills down your spine. You felt smaller and smaller under his scrutiny. “I can’t do this anymore!” you shouted, overwhelmed by the sheer weight of his words. “I don’t want to be your prisoner!”

Flug’s eyes darkened slightly, a glimmer of something more sinister lurking beneath his calm exterior. “You’re the one who came to me, [Y/N]. You asked for help while denying you need it. If I hadn’t intervened, where would you be right now?”

His words hit you like a punch to the gut. You turned abruptly, the emotion of the moment crashing over you like a wave. “Enough! I’m done talking about this!”

You stormed away, back toward your room, your heart racing with a mix of anger and despair. The tears threatened to spill over as the truth clawed at your insides. 

Once behind the closed door, you collapsed onto the floor, sobs wracking your body. The reality of your situation crashed over you, heavy and suffocating. You had been depending on him even before he took you, your safety and comfort intertwined with his twisted sense of care.

The truth echoed in your mind: you had lost your sense of independence long before you had been kidnapped. The walls of your room, once a sanctuary, now felt like a prison, a constant reminder of your vulnerability.

As you cried yourself to sleep, the shadows of dependency loomed large, a dark reminder of the battle you were losing—not just against Flug, but against your own unwillingness to confront the harsh truths of your life.

[blackwidownat2814]

Pride & Prejudice & Partridges (J.Seresin)

Pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x plus size!reader, Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x librarian!reader, Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Garcia!reader, Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x latina!reader

Word Count: 4580

A/N: Written for @jupitercomet's 12 Days of Christmas Challenge. I had Day 1-Secret Santa. This is also my first Top Gun Maverick fic, so go easy on me! I want to thank the wonderful and amazing @jobean12-blog for letting me bounce ideas off of her and helping me break through my writer's block. Also, many, many thanks to @navybrat817, for her firsthand knowledge of Navy life and for answering my countless questions. You two rock!

Triggers: Death of parents (just mentioned, no specifics), negative talk about self, body image issues. Angst with a happy ending.

‼️⚠️I do not give permission for any of my work to be copied, translated or reposted anywhere else but on my own blog.⚠️‼️

Masterlist

You were content with the quiet life you led.  Working as a librarian on a US Navy installation allowed you that freedom.  NAS Miramar wasn’t small, but it wasn’t huge either.  When you worked in the public library system, you were busy quite often…and it was starting to wreak havoc on your mental health.  Luckily, around the time you were trying to decide what to do with your career, your brother, Mickey ‘Fanboy’ Garcia, called you to let you know he was going to be stationed at NAS Miramar for the foreseeable future to be part of the now permanent Dagger Squad.

So, you moved to San Diego and onto the installation with Mickey, leaving your hometown behind (it didn’t really bother you to leave because your parents had been gone for several years and your introverted nature didn’t grant you close friends).  He helped you get the job at the library and that was that. 

The day you finished unpacking your things, Mickey told you he was going to take you out to meet the rest of the squad because the only person you knew was Reuben and you needed to meet some new people in your new home:

“Are you sure that’s okay?  I don’t want to invade your group or anyth--"

“Sis…really?  This night is for you!  I’ve told them all about you and how excited I am to have you with me again.”  You smiled big and giggled.

“Aw, you’re such a sweetheart, aren’t ya little bro?”

“Shut up”, pouted Mickey.  You grabbed his hand and pulled him to you.

“Thanks.  Te quiero, hermanito.”

“I love you too.”

When you and Mickey arrived at the local watering hole, The Hard Deck, you were instantly greeted by Reuben.  He pulled you into a tight hug, calling you Little Garcia (which was a ridiculous nickname, seeing as how you were older than Mickey by a year).  Shortly after that, Bob, Rooster, Phoenix, and Coyote showed up.  You were all sitting around one of the pool tables, drinking beers (in your case, it was an ice cold Dr. Pepper because you weren’t big on drinking) when you heard the most suave and cocky sounding, Texas accent ever:

“What do we have here?”  You saw Phoenix roll her eyes and smile.

“Little Garcia, this here is Bagman.”

“Hangman.”

“Whatever.”  Hangman laughed and pulled Phoenix into a hug.  When she let him go, he turned to look at you.

“So, you’re Fanboy’s sister.”  You nodded.

“Y-yes.  That’d, uh, that’d be me.”

“Well m’dear, we’re all really happy that Fanboy has you close by again.”

“I’m glad to be here Hangman.”  He smiles big and sits on the barstool next to you.

“Please, call me Jake.”

“Okay, Jake.”  If this man keeps looking at you with those gorgeous green eyes, you were going to melt.

“So, tell me Little Garcia, what do you do?”

“I’m a librarian.  I’m going to be working on base and living with Mickey”, you replied.  “Since I was moving down here, he managed to get out of the barracks and into a small house on base.”  Jake clapped his hands together and looked around at the group.

“You’re going to be living on the base?  That means you deserve your own callsign!”  The rest of the squad voiced their agreement.  “The question is, what do we call you?”

“How about Libby?” suggested Bob.  He made a face when everyone groaned.  “I know, I know.”  A few of the others made their own suggestions of library related callsigns before Jake stood from his spot next to you.

“I’ve got it!”  Jake turned back to you with a huge smile on his face, “How about…Dewey?”  

You felt heat crawling up your neck because of the way he was looking at you, like you were the only woman in the room.  You knew that that wasn’t possible, that someone as good looking and amazingly talented and a hero like Jake would never look at someone like you that way.  Why would a man who looked like he was crafted by Zeus himself look at a chubby librarian twice, when he could have women like Phoenix, or your cousin Isabella (who stole the first boy you ever really had a chance with, away)?

“I like it.  Thanks, Jake.”  He pulled you into a hug, squeezing you tight.

Oh Lord.  You were in trouble.

That was a year ago.  Over the last year, it was like you became an honorary member of the Dagger Squad.  They became the family you and Mickey were missing.  Most of them came to visit you at work.  One of those people was Jake.  The first time he came by, a month after the two of you met, you were shelving books and he’d snuck up on you, giving you a moment worthy of fan fiction itself.

You stepped up onto the plastic footstool and filed the book in its spot, on the topmost shelf.  You had an earbud in and were singing quietly along to “Remember Me” from Coco since you very rarely ever got someone in the library this early in the day, which meant you didn’t hear the door open, and you didn’t hear footsteps coming towards you.  You felt something tap you on the shoulder and you let out a scream, feeling yourself tilt backwards.  You squeezed your eyes shut and braced yourself for the inevitable pain, but it never came.  Instead, you felt the warm embrace of familiar arms.

“You can open your eyes now, darlin’.”  Opening one eye, you saw Jake smiling at you.  “Sorry I scared you, Dewey.”

“Oh, it’s not a problem.  I should’ve been paying more attention and–” It was then that you realized Jake was holding you bridal style.  “Oh my God!  Jake!  Put me down!  You’re going to hurt your back or something and I’m going to get in trouble for breaking government property.  I’m way too hea–”  

You would’ve rambled on had Jake not stopped you.

“Dewey.  I’m going to need you to relax.  You’re not going to mess up my back and you’re not going to get in trouble.  I have trained a long time and I don’t want to sound like a cocky bastard–”  You gave him a judgmental eyebrow raise and a Look.  “Okay, you have a point.”

“Seriously Jake, I don’t want to hurt you!”  Jake rolled his eyes but put you down carefully.  “Thank you.  I know you work out..I mean look at you, of course you do.  I just-lifting weights and doing bench presses is one thing, Jake…”

“Dewey…”

“Thank you for saving me from getting hurt”, you say before Jake can continue with whatever platitudes someone as good looking, built, and thin as him can come up with.  You smooth out the skirt of your bright red button front chiffon dress and look up at him since he has at least half a foot on you.  “Is there something I can help you find today, Lt. Seresin?”

Jake’s jaw clenched and you could tell he wanted to say more.  What you couldn’t figure out was why he seemed to care this much about how you thought of yourself.  He was just a friend.

“Uh, no…no.”  He ran a hand through his light brown hair.  “My sister is coming to visit next week with my nieces for Family Weekend.  Are y’all doing anything special?”

“Of course!”  You gave him a big smile and proceeded to run through the activities that were planned.

The following week, you got to meet Jesse and Isla Seresin.  The bonus was getting to see ‘Uncle Jake’ in action first hand and you hated it because every minute you spent in his presence was making you fall in love with him.  This was something you didn’t want because you knew you couldn’t afford a broken heart.  Not again.  You’d only recently been able to put your heart back together finally coming to term with the loss of your parents.  You weren’t going to let a crush derail that progress.

Over the next 10 months, Jake visited you at the base library often, acting like that first conversation between you two never happened.  You’d ask after Isla and Jesse, how school was going and when they’d be back to visit again.  Jake would even bring you gifts from the girls for their ‘favorite librarian’ when he’d come back from visiting them.

Sometimes Jake would come to the library because he needed to research something for a mission or because he needed to develop some sort of lesson plan now that he was an instructor at TOPGUN.  Sometimes he’d come by just to chat.  During those chats, you found yourself opening up to him.  One day in October, almost a year after you moved to San Diego, Jake and some of the squad were at the library helping with the Halloween Festival for the kids the library staff was throwing in the parking lot.  You and Jake were manning the ‘Balloon Dart’ booth, chatting away the time while waiting for some new challengers.

“You know Dewey, in all the time I’ve known you, I don’t think I’ve ever asked you what your favorite book is”, said Jake.

“Is this you asking?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Pride & Prejudice”, you replied, keeping your eyes on your feet.  “I know, you don’t have to say it.  It’s totally cliché.”

“It’s not cliché at all.  It’s a good book.”  You looked up at Jake’s comment.

“You like Pride & Prejudice?”

“Your Lizzie Bennett is showing, you know.”

“Sorry.”

“No worries.  I read it for school, and I just really liked it”, said Jake.  “So, why is it your favorite?”

“It’s one of the first books my mom and I read together”, you replied.  Smiling sadly, you continue.  “She’d read me a chapter a night.  It took a while, but we finally finished it.  Afterwards, we borrowed the six-disc BBC mini-series from our local library and watched it all in one day.  Colin Firth was so handsome and a perfect Mr. Darcy.  Then in 2005, she surprised me with tickets to the movie as a late birthday gift and I just adored Matthew MacFadyen’s version of Darcy.  It fed my love of reading, which then inspired my choice in career.  Before they died, mom and I had been looking for the ‘Peacock edition’ of the book that was released in 1894.  It’s one of the most valuable and gorgeous versions because of the cover and illustrations by Hugh Thomson.  I had almost tracked one down, but then…”  

You looked away, not wanting to let Jake see you cry, but were unsuccessful.  Jake reached over and tipped your face up so he could look you in the eye, and wrapped his free hand around your ample waist, pulling you closer.

“I’m sorry about your parents.  It can’t have been easy for you and Fanboy.”  He placed the hand he’d had under your chin on your cheek and wiped away the few tears that escaped.

“It wasn’t.  He hides it better than I do, but he was just as broken.  It’s why I’m so thankful for Reuben and the rest of you.  When I couldn’t be there for him, all of you were…so, thank you, Jake.”

The way he was looking at you made you weak in the knees, and you saw him leaning towards you.  Was Jake Seresin about to kiss you?  Unfortunately, you wouldn’t find out because as he got closer, one of the kids ran up to the booth and you two jumped apart.

You watched him closely, out of the corner of your eye, the rest of the night.  You made sure you were always busy with the kids or whatever else was needed at the booth so that you weren’t available to talk with Jake.  You could tell he wanted to say something about what happened, but you really didn’t want to deal with the rejection and the explanation that it was a mistake.

As Jake was explaining the rules to one of the kids, you saw her mother fluffing her hair and adjusting her ‘assets’.  She put on the biggest (fakest) smile she could when Jake turned his attention to her. You rolled your eyes as you eyeballed the diamond on her left hand.  Did she think that he would just ignore that she was married and fall into her bed?  You knew Jake was imperfect, but he would never stoop that low.

You loved him.  You knew that now, because you gave up on trying to not fall in love with him months ago.  You hoped it wasn’t obvious because you didn’t want to be that chubby girl who was in love with the hot guy and acted like a stalker.  Becoming that stereotype was not going to happen.

Over the next month, you did absolutely everything in your power to avoid Jake Seresin.  You changed your shifts at work as much as you could so you wouldn’t be there when you knew he had free time and if he came in when you were there, you made sure you were busy or your coworkers would take care of him for you.  You didn’t go out to the Hard Deck on the weekends or anytime you knew he’d be there.

The week before Thanksgiving, you were at work when you received a visitor.

“Dewey?”  You looked up from your work to see Phoenix in the doorway of your office.

“Hey Phe!  Come on in.”  She stepped into your office and took a seat across from you.  “So, what brings you by?”

“We’ve missed you”, she said.  “All of us.”  The underlying meaning in her words didn’t skate past your understanding.

“I-I just can’t Phe.  I won’t be able to get over him if I’m around him constantly.  And I have to get over him because when he eventually finds someone–”

“Dewey, he doesn’t want to find anyone else.”

“Nat, I’m going to explain something to you, okay?”  You took a deep breath and continued, “Men as good looking as Jake or Rooster or any of them don’t go for women like me.  I know I’m not ugly, I never said that, but I am fat.  It’s just a fact.  Someone who takes care of himself like Jake is expected to be with a woman who looks like you.  Like the high school trope, the quarterback and the cheerleader.  I’m just the nerd who helps tutor the quarterback.  Who, like an idiot, falls for him and thinks that because he was so nice to me, maybe I should tell him how I feel.  When I do, he goes and laughs about it with his cheerleader girlfriend and all the other jocks.

I reached too far Nat.  Like I said, I need to get over him because I need to be able to be around him when he finds his cheerleader.”

Phoenix huffed.

“I didn’t know you felt like this.”

“I’ve been dealing with this since I was a kid.  I was compared to my cousin and how she looked.”

“Why didn’t you come talk to me?”  Phoenix leaned forward and took your hand.

“Phe, you’ve got enough on your plate, enough to deal with”, you reply.  “Besides, you’re not my therapist.  I didn’t want to burden you with my problems.  I’m already enough of a burden to Mickey.  I’m his older sister and he thinks he has to take care of me.”

“Can I say something now?” she asked, and you nodded.  “You are not a burden.  Not to me, not to Jake, and especially not to Fanboy.  He’s your brother and he loves you.  Before you moved here, he may have smiled and joked around, but it never really meant much.  He was just okay.  After you let him know you were coming to San Diego, you should’ve seen how happy he was.  His smile was huge, and his eyes didn’t look empty.  You’ve made all of our lives better.”

By the time she finished, tears fell silently down your cheeks.

“Thank you, Phe.  I love you, you know.”

“I love you too, Dewey.”  Phoenix came around the desk and pulled you into a tight hug.  “Believe it or not, this wasn’t the only reason I came to see you.”  You pulled away and wiped your cheeks.

“What can I help you with?”

“Some of us are having a Friendsgiving thing next week.  I wanted to know if you and Fanboy wanted to join us.”

“Um…”

“He’s going to Texas to see his family.”

“Okay then.”

Friendsgiving with Rooster, Phoenix, Reuben, and Mickey was one of the happiest times you had.  After dinner, Phoenix brought out a small basket with several small pieces of paper.

“What’s this?”  You looked over at your brother with a questioning look.

“Last Christmas, we all decided that a Secret Santa with the squad would be fun.  Since it was a hit, we’re doing it again.”  He took the basket from Phoenix and held it out to you, “It’s your first time, so you get the first draw.  No take backsies, unless you get your own name.”

“Got it.”  You closed your eyes and shoved your hand in the basket, rooting around for a few seconds before finally grabbing a paper.  You unfolded it, shielding the paper from prying eyes.  You smiled at the ‘Bob’ written on the paper.  You were close enough with Bob and knew the perfect gift for him.

“When do we have to have the gifts ready?” you asked the group.

“Penny’s having a Christmas party at The Hard Deck next month on the 15th”, said Rooster.  You felt your stomach drop.  You weren’t making any progress in getting over the feelings you had for Jake, and you didn’t think you were ready to see him again.

“Awesome.  Can’t wait.”  Bob came in for Book Club all the time, so you could slip him his gift then and not have to worry about being at the party.  Everyone would be so busy enjoying it, they probably wouldn’t even notice you weren’t there.  How wrong you were.

Now.

Sure enough, the day before Penny’s Christmas party, Bob stopped by the library.  He loved his gift; you’d gotten him a cookie decorating class that was online and prerecorded so he wouldn’t miss any of the days because of work and emphasized intricate decorating techniques.

He gave you a kiss on the cheek and a big hug in thanks, promising you the first batch of cookies he made with his newfound knowledge.  Before leaving, he asked if he’d see you the next day at The Hard Deck.  You felt bad about lying but told him no because you had to take care of something important.  In reality, you were going to hide out at the library for a few hours and then go home.

So, you did.  Your phone started going off only a few minutes after everyone was supposed to be arriving at The Hard Deck.  You ignored the texts from Phoenix, Mickey, Bob, and Reuben and were about to shut your phone off when a call from Mickey came through.

“What?”

“Where are you?”

“I’m busy.”

“You’re a bad liar, you know, hermanita.”  You rolled your eyes.

“Is there a reason you’re calling Mickey?”

“Everyone is wondering where you are.”  You could hear voices and the jukebox going in the background; it sounded like a good time.  “And I mean everyone.”

“Mickey…I can’t, okay?  I won’t be a novelty or something he bides his time with until he finds someone better, someone prettier.  Someone thinner and more appropriate for him.”

“That’s complete bullshit.  And Hangman is a lot of things, but that isn’t something he’d ever do.  Please believe me.  When I met him, I thought he was a complete dick.  The only one who didn’t was Coyote, and that’s only because they’ve been friends for years, so he knows how much of a good man Jake is.”

Mickey went on about Jake’s pros and as you were about to cut him off and hang up, you heard another voice.

“Fanboy, who are you talking to?”  Jake.  He’d seen your brother having a heated discussion while on the phone, and since he hadn’t seen you yet, he put two and two together.

“Don’t you say a word Mickey.  Don’t you do it.”

“Um…”

“Fanboy, is it Dewey?  Where is she?”

“I’m under orders to not say anything.”

“Bullshit.  Tell me.  Now.  I need to talk to her.”

“No.”  You knew your brother and you could hear his resolve weakening in his voice.  Suddenly, you heard what sounded like a scuffle on the other end and shouts of Give it back Hangman! before another voice came on the line.

“Dewey?  Dewey, please, tell me where you are.  I need to talk to you.”  You pressed ‘mute’, so he wouldn’t hear you starting to cry.  “Please darlin’.  Tell me where you are.”

You almost broke at the pleading in his voice.  You didn’t understand why he was so determined about seeing you.  You were just friends.  You took a deep breath and unmuted the call.

“I’m sorry Jake, but I’m not going to do that.”

“Darlin’, pl–”

“Goodnight Jake.”  You hung up and put your phone on ‘Do Not Disturb’, so you could listen to music while you did some shifting and didn’t have to worry about phone calls interrupting you.

You were in a Metallica-type of mood, so you chose the correct playlist and put in your earbuds.  ‘All Nightmare Long’ transitioned in to ‘Master of Puppets’ (your favorite song), and you shimmied along the aisles, shifting books around so they weren’t so tightly packed together.

Once again, you were so distracted by your task and the music, you didn’t hear someone knocking on the front door of the building or even walking in.  He heard you, though.  Jake called out for you, but when he didn’t get a response, he went to check your office.  Seeing your things still there, he was dead quiet to find out where you were...until he heard you singing.

‘Come crawling faster (faster)

Obey your master (master)

Your life burns faster (faster)

Obey your master

Master!

Master!’

Jake took the stairs two at a time, finding you in the graphic novel section.  You had your back to him, and he knew you were going to be mad, but he just had to.  Unbeknownst to you, he tiptoed up to you and tapped you on the shoulder.

You let out an almighty shriek and spun around, your feet getting tangled together.  Jake launched himself forward and caught you before you could fall and get hurt.

“You okay Dewey?”  You smacked him on the chest and pushed him away.

“Jake Seresin!  How could you do that to me?!”  You pulled your earbuds out and pocketed them.  You looked over at Jake and were glad to see he was looking slightly ashamed.

“I’m sorry darlin’.”

“What are you doing here Jake?  I wanted to be alone.”

“I needed to see you.”

“Why?  What could you possibly have to say to me right now?  There’s a party with everyone there and yet you’re here, wasting your time with me.”  You crossed your arms and leaned against the shelf.

“First of all, you’re not there, so not everyone is there.”  Jake reached behind him and pulled a wrapped, rectangular something he’d tucked into his back pocket.  “Secondly, I needed to give you this.  I’m your Secret Santa.’

“You could’ve just given it to Mickey to give to me.”

“Dewey, just take it, please.”

“Fine.”  You reached over and took the package from Jake’s hands.  You were carefully unwrapping the gift when Jake spoke up.

“Why have you been avoiding me?”

“I haven’t b–”

“Don’t lie to me.  I may act like an idiot, but I’m not one.  Anytime I go to visit you, either you’re not there because you changed your schedule, or you get one of the others to deal with me.  When we all get together at the Hard Deck, you never show.  Fanboy feeds us whatever lie you tell him, but I know better.  I know you, something happened to make you avoid me and the others.”

“Jake…”  Before you could continue, you pushed the wrapping paper of the gift to reveal a book.  A copy of the ‘Peacock Edition’ of Pride & Prejudice, originally published in 1894, making this a first printing.  You carefully opened the book to look through it.  No creases, the spine was perfect for a book that was almost 130 years old, and it was beautiful.

“Do you like it?”  In your astonishment, you’d forgotten he was standing there.

“Jake, Jake, I-I-I can’t believe you remembered?”

“I did.”  You felt tears starting to form and threatened to fall down your cheeks.

“Jake, I c-can’t accept this. It-It’s too much.”

“It’s not too much darlin’.  I just hope it makes you feel closer to your mom.”  The tears fell in a steady flow now.  Jake rushed forward and took your face in your hands.  “Please don’t cry baby.”

You shut your eyes and basked in the feeling of his hands on your cheeks.

“Why did you do this Jake?  This isn’t something you do for a friend for a Secret Santa gift.”  You hear Jake chuckle.

“Open your eyes darlin’.”  You took a deep breath and slowly opened your eyes to look into green ones.  “You know why, Dewey.”

“I need you to say it.  I won’t believe it unless you do.”

“I love you, Miss Garcia.”

“Jake…”  You gave him a big watery smile.

“I know you have your reservations because of some weird reason that you think you don’t deserve me just because of the way you look.  Baby, that can’t be further from the truth.  I love you because of who you are, of what you’ve overcome, of what you’ve done–”

“I’m just a librarian, Jake.  I’m not anyone special.  But you, you’re a literal hero.  I read, you fly planes and save the world…how could I ever measure up?”

“Darlin’, you’re a hero too, to the girls.  I can never talk with Isla and Jesse without hearing Miss Garcia this and Miss Garcia that and When can we see Miss Garcia again, Uncle Jake?  They were both having trouble with their reading, but after meeting you, they’re the top readers in each of their classes.”

“I–” Before you could say anything else, Jake surged forward and kissed you. You’d only ever been kissed a few times in your life, but this blew the other kisses out of the water, it obliterated them. It reminded you of The Princess Bride, and the thought brought a smile to your face.

When the lack of air finally became an issue, you pulled away and leaned your forehead against Jake’s.

“I love you too, Jake, so much.”

Jake smiled that perfect smile of his and kissed you again. So focused on the kiss, neither of you heard the footsteps up the stairs, and didn’t know Reuben, Mickey, Rooster, Coyote, Phoenix, and Bob were watching the two of you make out until Coyote spoke up.

“Yeah buddy! Get your girl!” You and Jake broke apart in surprise.

“What the hell guys?!”

[sinvulkt]

20 Questions For Writers

Wow, thank you so much for the tag @fanfictasia !! I've wanted to participate in something like this forever!! 🎶✨️✨️

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Right now? 66.

"Yes, as a star wars writer, I am very proud of that. No, I do not intend to change it anytime soon."

I really need to focus on (and finish) some of my WIPs, and that mean trying not to disperse my energy amidst one shots (no matter how much i love monthly challenges and fic exchange events). Also I'm very proud of that 66 count and want to appreciate it xd.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

321k words!!

(More or less 100k / year 🎶 little me would never believe that 0.0

My school exam results sure don't, with how they are dropping 🤣)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star wars mostly (Vaderkin or my OC Sinvulkt), then Marvel (Dr Strange), Dream SMP (Dream), Le Visiteur du Future (Renard) and more recently Batman (Bruce Wayne) as well as Avatar: the last airbender (Zuko).

Plus the original stories I am supposed to write but almost never end up doing xd (the engagement in fandom compared to original stories make the switch hard xd).

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. Dreamt of a Never Ending Sky (Dream SMP)

669 kudos

2. To Fly Free Under The Morning Sun (Star Wars)

480 kudos

3. On the Edge of Twilight (Star Wars)

380 kudos

4. Scales of Embers (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

353 kudos

5. Crash Landing on Space Australia (Star Wars)

319 kudos

I'll never know how my Dream SMP fic got so much engagement. Good timing at a moment the fandom was in effervescence, I guess. Scales of Embers scoring so high is also a surprise 0.0. I discovered it had that many kudos today. It’s a shame the Dr Strange fandom is small because I think my Dr Strange WIP What If Doctor Strange Lost His Humanity ? would have deserved a place here. It definitely does in my heart.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! As a reader, I always feel super happy when the author shows that they’ve read and appreciated my comments. I know that personality an author who answers make me more likely to want to drop a comment.

As an author, I absolutely want to show how much I love every single comments, so I try to answer them all. But I get a little overwhelmed sometimes, bcs lots of other stuff going on irl or another reason. As such, it can happen that I don't feel the energy to answer a comment on the spot. And if I don't answer it on the spot (using the power of the wiggy dizzy nice happy feeling of getting a comment), I don't necessarily have the energy to answer later on. I currently have something like 60 unanswered comments I think? TT.TT

But rest assured that whether I answered or not, I absolutely adore and cherish every single ones!! Comments are amazing! ✨️.✨️

(This kind of engagement is one of the only reason I managed to settle into such an active rythm of writing after years of trying then dropping the hobby~)

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Glance at my fics.

Uhhh... This is a hard question here... Many of them have angsty endings XD

Mostly the ones at the beginning (the worst written ones xd). I wonder why~

Also a lot of them don' have endings yet XD

I'll say amidst the 'old' fics from 2021, Day 8 - Screaming (Star Wars) would be the angstier one (or most horrible one ig xd).

But as far as recent fic go... While I haven't finished writing it bcs its wordcount exploded in my face, I already plotted / drafted it a few months ago and I know the ending, so I'll choose:

Batman’s Downfall (To Stand Alone) (Batman)

I noticed my kind of angst doesn’t have much success around these parts 🫠🤣. Oh well. I cherish it all the same :3.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Sometimes I think I wrote too many fics. It's hard to select one.

Uhhh... My fluffiest works are one shots in Of Feathers and Freedom serie, but they are part of the series so it’s not really an 'ending'.

...

I'll answer for the crackiest story rather than the happiest ending bcs all my finished fics ending are ominous open ending at best xd.

The Blob Adventures Of Excentrics Jedi (Star Wars)

Because it's cute blob drawings of our crazy team of OC in taaoej, and I love them (although we are all angst lovers in taaoej, so it's more crack-angst, and we don't know the ending bcs there isn't really one. Not yet at least. Hopefully never).

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

Just my own innervoice as far as I'm aware. But then I've always been rather clueless when people tried to 'hate on me'. The message usually just got lost somewhere in dreamspace immensity, never computing.

I've found the fandoms communities really welcoming at the very least!!

9. Do you write smut?

No.

I don't really enjoy reading smut. Nor romance for the matter. I don't think I'd enjoy writing it.

But maybe I'll try one day, for the sake of experimenting all genres.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I never did. I don't know why. Maybe I just never felt the need to mix characters and universes. There are amazing crossovers out there though, so who knows, maybe one day I'll try one.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of. In all honesty, I don't think my works are nearly popular enough to get stolen xd.

My writing style isn’t that good yet, and my dislike of romance when the majority of the fandom community is ship-powered means I end up in a corner quite niche. (A corner I love, that being said. Yay Crack, Angst and Gen~)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but maybe I'll translate some of mine in french someday. Be it only so that I do write fiction in my native language from time to time.

Anyone that wanna translate my fics, feel free to!!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes, To Fly Free Under The Morning Sun (Star Wars)!!

I’m still waiting for my co-author @purpleopossum to come back to me / get back in star wars mood to continue that one. 🫠

Can’t say my hopes are that high up after all this time, but it’s the redemption | healing part of the serie and I don’t really have fun writing alone redemption | healing part... i prefer doing the whole mayhem that create the injury in the first place. And with how long some of my fics hiatus are (and I got no excuse for those xd), it’s only fair for me to wait. (I did write more other works for the dragon Vader serie in the meantime xd).

I made an oath to myself to never leave a work unfinished though, so we’ll see. If in several years purple still doesn’t wish to continue it, or if she inform me she is dropping the story, I’ll try to make some kind of ending. It’s part of the game i guess.

Alternatively, the The Amazing Adventures Of Excentrics Jedi universe is a group of star wars OCs that we made together with @pat-the-togorian , @asteral-feileacan , @ct2002-rema and Xylian. I don’t know if that count as co-writing? We usually write our OCs pov.

But in all cases, co-writting is very fun and I’d definitely do it again if other opportunities arise in the future.

14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

The absence of ship is my all-time favorite ship. Otherwise, "main character / digging their own grave" would be my 'favorite ship' since I tend to synch with idiots snarky jerks disasters.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

To Fly Free Under The Morning Sun (Star Wars) that I mentioned for question 13? 🤣

More seriously, I'll answer On the Edge of Twilight (Star Wars)

Because it's my vent fic. I know the main plot line, I vaguely know the current arc, but no one can predict where the next arc will go. It's all pure impulse and while I have a vague idea of 'ending', I refuse to plan a path towards it. This fic specifically, I want to keep pure impulse. So I'd love for it to become some kind of "The NeverEnding Story". :3

16. What’s your writing strengths?

I write.

No seriously, it's not something I did four years ago appart from vent poems here and there. Writing is in itself a huge writing strenght!

Otherwise I'm also a bottomless well of idea. It's pretty neat.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

... romance?

Or dialogues. Lastly I have a lot of frustration around the transition from dialogue / transition / dialogue. I feel like I'm crap at properly timing that.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

It's fun. I do it for games sometimes. Since apparently writing normally is not chllenging enough for my brain sometimes. It did teach me bits of mando'a.

Recently for Sēċan (Star Wars) I decided last minute to put the whole droid dialogue in morse, and I regret none of it.

I'm usually only doing it for one shots though, and never 'official existing' languages until now.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Star wars :p

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Now that's another hard question, how am I supposed to select one.

I'm gonna answer the whole Of Feathers And Freedom (Star Wars) serie. Bcs wings. :3

Tag time~ (if you wish to)

@purpleopossum @pat-the-togorian @cinderfeather @beguilewritesstuff @purple-iris @dreaminghour @ravenite-void @trickstress333 @bluntblade @doctorgeekery @stewardofningishzida @jenae-0 @trickstress333 @kittonafoxgirl @pastelcourage @salparadiselost @kefalion @charlottevader @ravenstakeflight @starr234 @aelaer @sarcasticfirefighter @mckiwi @linzerj @sonderwalker @exomal @tonhalszendvics @nephilimswitchlight @firejay112 @only-here-for-the-star-wars @ajedilikehisfather @makaronik @chickadeechickadoo @dirtkid123 @numerousbees1106 @akizumy @25centsoda @udekai @wendingways @silvereddaye @in-company-of-misery @wisechaosglitter @kuraiarcoiris @alright-anakin @wyvunn you're more than welcome to join on the interview fun!! (Or to ignore the tagging if not interested xd).

I know I tagged. I lot of people. Some of you may recognise my pseud, some may not. But I thought it would be interesting to hear the answer of the various authors with whom I interacted on ao3 over the years, so I went and digged up those with tumblr I could find from my inbox 🤣

(Hopefully I didn’t bother any of you >.< - otherwise I apologize. Same for if I accidentally tagged a non-writer.)

I'd love to hear your answers! 🎶

[tashajan]

ABORTION: A matter of women’s right, health and justice.

The fight for the right to legal, safe abortion isn’t just about political ideologies. It’s all about life or death, health and safety, rights, and justice. Women’s bodies and their choices and future should never be up for debate. Although this topic quite controversial to even begin with but I want to use this opportunity to raise my voice about why should we legalize abortion. This issue makes a big slap in women’s world ever since The Government of United States banned women to get their fetus for abortion. Furthermore, there so many reasons why we strongly need to legalize abortion. So, let’s get into it.

In my opinion, women deserve full control over their bodies. For over a decade, long woman doesn’t have that many rights compare to man. We were told how to behave, how to wear or what to do to our body to be accept to the community and be treated fairly. Bodily autonomy isn’t up for negotiation. Every woman should have decision about her own body including whether to carry a life inside their womb. When abortion is criminalized, it strips women of this basic human right. The United Nations itself recognizes access to safe abortion as essential for women’s health and equality. Yet, in many countries the right is denied, forcing women to into unsafe, life-threatening situation. Legalizing abortion puts the power back where it belongs which is in the hands of women.

Don’t you think criminalizing abortion kills women? Let’s be clear, making abortion illegal doesn’t stop it from happening. It just makes it dangerous. Every year, according to the World Health Organization, 25million unsafe abortion take place. This result in about 47,000 preventable deaths of millions of women suffering from severe complications. How sad to hear this. Countries like south Africa saw maternal deaths plummet after they legalized abortion, proving that when women have access to safe procedures, lives are saved. To me banning abortion isn’t “pro-life” but it is a dangerous, sickening, irresponsible and lethal act.

Legalization abortion empowers women economically. From my standpoint, denying women access to abortion forces them into a cycle of poverty and limits their future opportunities. Guttmacher institute show research that women who can make choices about their pregnancies are more likely to complete their education, secure better jobs, and achieve financial independence. Based from The Turnaway study, women denied abortions are more likely to fall into poverty. Legal abortion gives women the chance to build a life on their own terms, which benefits everyone including, families, communities, and society.

Legalization doesn’t increase abortion rates. As for me, I believe that legalizing abortion doesn’t make abortion more common but it makes it much more safer. Countries with comprehensive reproductive healthcare, like the Netherlands, have some of the lowest abortion rates in the world because they prioritize education and access to contraception. The argument that legalizing abortion leads to more abortion is a myth only. So…..what actually leads to fewer abortion? The answer is legal access, sex education, and affordable healthcare.

As far as I’m aware no women should be forced to carry a pregnancy from rape or incest, or one that could possibly endanger her life. Forcing women to endure is a cruel act, inhumane, and a violation of their rights. Take the tragic case that took place in 2012, her name is Dr, Savita Halappanavar a 31-years-old Indian born dentist died in Galway, on Ireland’s west coast, after she was denied an abortion by doctors who citied the country’s strict laws, even though there was no chance her baby would survive, according to Ireland’s official report on the case. After this tragedy, Ireland repealed its Amendment.

Lastly folks before I close all of this, legalizing abortion is about more than reproductive rights and it’s about women’s fundamental freedom, health, and dignity. It’s about creating a world where women aren’t forced into dangerous, back-alley procedures because they don’t have access to safe, regulated care. It’s about giving women the power to decide their futures. It also about human rights.

XOXO, TASHAJAN

[crash-bump-bring-the-whump]

Patient File: MO-1620

As with most other things, this has been burning in my brain for the last however long and I need to exorcise it by writing it down

TWs: captivity (imprisonment), discussions of self-worth, discussions of anxiety, discussions of trauma, self-flagellation, references to murder (including child murder), referenced but not discussed self-harm and suicidal ideation

The following is a transcript of Inmate MO-1620's visits with the facility psychologist and counselor, Dr. Juan Castillo. These documents contain confidential information. If you have received them in error, please destroy them immediately and notify the phone number on the cover sheet. Failure to do so may result in a felony punishable by a fine in any amount not exceeding $5,000, or imprisonment of not more than 5 years, or both, together with the costs of prosecution. For privacy, inmate names have been redacted in all places that they appear.

This document has been translated from Spanish to English, per written request.

BEGINNING OF TRANSCRIPT

XX/XX/XXXX - Session X

JC: Hello, XXXXX, it's good to meet you. You don't have to be nervous, this isn't a bad visit.

MO-1620: Can I ask why I'm here? They don't...usually let people talk to me.

JC: Of course. You're here because there's been talk of you being released early. I'm going to determine if you're ready for that over the next few weeks.

MO-1620: I...they can't do that. They shouldn't release me.

JC: Why is that?

MO-1620: You've seen my records. You know...you are aware of what I've done. They shouldn't let me out.

JC: I have seen your records. I've also seen your records of conduct during your sentence. I think you're a suitable candidate for release.

MO-1620: My conduct here does not mean anything. This isn't the real world.

JC: I think it does. I know during the incident in July, you didn't fight back. You chose to walk away.

MO-1620: It was not a situation that needed to be escalated. Anyone could see that XXXXX was...not in his right mind. He got bad news, I accidentally bumped into him on my way back from my yard time. I got hit. It was nothing to fight over. The guards got him away before anything could even happen, anyway.

JC: Most people in that situation would've fought back. Why didn't you? You hadn't done anything wrong.

MO-1620: It wasn't necessary. I don't like...I don't like hurting people. I don't want to hurt anyone again.

JC: So following that logic, why are you not a good candidate for early release?

MO-1620: I didn't want to hurt the people I killed, either. I still did it when I was told to. I can't be trusted with freedom.

JC: XXXXX, you were in a difficult position. Youngest member of your team, given the most unpleasant tasks, and threatened with punishment if you didn't fulfill them. You reported everything that was happening, as well, to the public and media. Don't you think that deserves some consideration?

MO-1620: No.

JC: Why not?

MO-1620: Those are excuses given to justify behavior. I've burned people alive. I've killed entire towns with nothing but my casting gloves and a handgun. People have begged me for their lives, for their children's lives, and I ignored them. You cannot ever justify that. You cannot justify any of that.

JC: Your hands are shaking. Are you angry at me?

MO-1620: No.

JC: Are you upset?

MO-1620: No. I am sick. I'd like to go back to my cell, please.

JC: Alright, lean back and I'll call someone in.

XX/XX/XXXX- Session X

JC: Welcome back, XXXXX. How are you feeling?

MO-1620: I'm nervous.

JC: What has you nervous? Nothing will happen to you in here.

MO-1620: I know. I...am just a nervous person, I think. You are...you are kind, though. I apologize for how I ended our last session.

JC: No, I think that was the healthiest thing you could've done. Leaving a situation to calm down is a good way to deal with hard emotions when you don't have other options.

MO-1620: That's very generous of you to say. I felt like I was being dramatic. Throwing a tantrum.

JC: I didn't think so. I do think that you tend to judge yourself very harshly, though.

MO-1620: I don't understand what you mean.

JC: You seem like you take a very harsh stance on your own actions, with very little room for compassion or understanding.

MO-1620: I have to make sure that I don't slip up. I'm...very dangerous.

JC: I don't think you're dangerous. You have the potential for danger, just like anyone else, but I don't feel like I'm in danger right now.

MO-1620: Of course not. The people who raise lions and tigers in their home don't feel like they're in danger, either. But something always happens.

JC: Are you just a lion or a tiger, trapped in someone's home?

MO-1620: I might as well be. I can't hurt people in here. I don't see anyone that I could hurt. It's safest for me to be here.

JC: Don't you feel lonely staying in here?

MO-1620: I do. That's alright.

JC: Why is it alright?

MO-1620: I think being lonely is the least I could do.

JC: Can you elaborate on that?

MO-1620: I took people's families from them. Partners, friends, there are a lot more lonely people in the world now, because of me.

JC: You being lonely won't bring them back

MO-1620: It won't. But neither will me living a life that those people won't ever get to experience again. I still don't understand why my sentence was so light compared to the others.

JC: So you should be punished until you die?

MO-1620: I think so, yes.

JC: That's not a very healthy mindset.

MO-1620: Why should I get the privilege of health?

JC: You're a human being, I think every human being deserves health.

MO-1620: I think that's a bit of a stretch.

JC: Are you not a human being?

MO-1620: No, not anymore. I threw that away when XXXXX told me to start razing XXXXX and I did it.

[Two minutes of silence follow]

MO-1620: I think I'd like to go back to my cell, please, Doctor Castillo.

DD/MM/YYYY - Session X

JC: XXXXX, it's good to see you again. How have you been these last few weeks?

MO-1620: It...is good to see you too. I...have been better. I have also been worse, though.

JC: It's important not to get caught up in minimizing your own pain just because you've experienced worse.

MO-1620: I...I apologize.

JC: My feelings aren't hurt. What has you feeling bad?

MO-1620: I just can't understand what you see in me. It's confusing. I've done some of the worst things someone can do. How could I ever be fit to go back to...to a normal life?

JC: I focus on your current behavior, not your past.

MO-1620: Why is that...okay? Why do you do that?

JC: People can change. Not everyone will, but some people can. I think you're a different person than you were when you hurt those people.

MO-1620: What makes you so sure? I...I feel the same. I don't think I'm any different.

JC: Change isn't some big, sweeping thing. Not permanent change, anyway. It has to be small, and gradual. Sometimes we don't even notice it. I think you've been doing that. I've seen the books you've been checking out. Why have you been focusing on self-help and communication books?

MO-1620: I want...to understand people better. I don't understand others very well. It makes things hard.

JC: Someone who didn't care about hurting others wouldn't care about understanding them.

MO-1620: Maybe. You talk like I deserve to be forgiven, though.

JC: I think it should be on the table. You might not be able to forgive yourself now, but I don't think it should be off-limits forever.

MO-1620: That is not mine to give, though.

JC: Forgiveness?

MO-1620: Yes. Forgiveness for how I hurt others is not something I get to give to myself. That doesn't make sense. I wasn't the one hurt.

JC: I think you were.

MO-1620: How was I hurt? I did the hurting. It's selfish to make this about me and my feelings.

JC: These sessions are all about you. If there's a time to explore something that feels selfish, now is the perfect time. I can't imagine it was fun to do all of that.

MO-1620: There was adrenaline, but...you're right. It wasn't something I liked. I didn't want to do it.

JC: You wanted to stop so badly that you almost beat someone to death.

MO-1620: I...did. I did that, yes. It was not the way I should've handled it. I shouldn't have touched our superior officer.

JC: But nothing else worked. You don't immediately jump to violence. Should you never be forgiven for hurting your superior officer?

MO-1620: No, I shouldn't. I think he deserved it, but I still shouldn't forgive myself for it. I'm not a good judge of what is right or wrong.

JC: Because you trusted the people in charge of you?

MO-1620: Because I knew better, and still made excuses. I made excuses to myself until I couldn't look either my leader or super in the eye without wanting to vomit. I should've taken the torture training instead. I should've accepted the punishments. They couldn't kill me and get away with it, and I knew that. I should've done anything but what I did. The only thing I did right was turn us all in.

JC: I think most people would've done what you did in your position.

MO-1620: I don't think that makes it okay, or forgivable.

JC: I think it does. I think you don't want to admit that it was traumatic to go through all of that, because you happened to also hurt others. But it wasn't fun. I think it hurt you a lot to do those things. I think it was scary to have those threats made if you didn't obey orders.

MO-1620: I...I think I deserve to hurt like this, though. It's fair.

JC: It's fair?

MO-1620: I shouldn't ever forget, or get too comfortable. If it helps me remember, and if it helps me stay in line...I think it's fair. I'll take that.

JC: I see. Would you like a tissue, XXXXX?

MO-1620: ...Yes. Yes, please.

JC: Take your time, and then I'll let them take you back. I think it's a good time to end today.

MO-1620: Thank you, Doctor Castillo.

XX/XX/XXXX - Session X

JC: Hello again. XXXXX. You don't look well, are you feeling alright?

MO-1620: I haven't been sleeping very well. The guards tell me that you are saying I should be released next month. I...I don't understand.

JC: You've demonstrated self-restraint, self-awareness, and a deep remorse for your actions. You haven't participated in so much as an argument in your years here, either. Unless you've somehow managed to fool someone who's caught serial killers in their games, you aren't going to re-offend.

MO-1620: I...I am very afraid, Doctor Castillo. I do not know how to...to say how I'm feeling. It doesn't feel like you've been listening to me at all.

JC: I've been listening more than you think I have. You are...what, XX years old? I've been doing this since before you were born, XXXXX. I've talked to guys who've done what you did before. You're not my first violent offender. You know how many have begged me to stay here, because they were afraid they'd hurt someone else?

MO-1620: Not...many?

JC: You have. You and one other have begged to stay. The rest have all but promised me their first-born to get out of here early. So no. You will not be staying.

MO-1620: What if I mess up again? What if more people end up dead? I cannot handle that. I don't know what I'd do if that happened.

JC: You don't have to know. No one else will die because of you, because you aren't going to do that again. You don't trust yourself enough to even come close to being in a position to do that again. I'd be surprised if you felt confident enough to care for a pet rock when you're released. You will be fine out there.

[One minute of silence follows. Unintelligible noises can be heard, but the recording is too low quality to discern the source. The noise gradually becomes clearer and can be identified as MO-1620 crying.]

JC: Alright, none of that, hands on the chair arms. Good, good. Just like that. Breathe. Here are the tissues. I'll tell them to take you back. Not to your cell yet, you're on a watch. You can go back to your cell afterwards, then we'll get you ready to get out of here.

[A beep can be heard]

JC: Can I get Rodriguez in here? No, no. Nothing like that. Yeah, looks like a panic attack. Just for a few days, maybe a week. Yes. Just to be sure he makes it to release date. No, we certainly don't need a repeat of the XXXXX situation.

[A door squeaks open]

Off. R: Is this...him? XXXXX XXXXX? The one who...

JC: Yes. I think he'll need some help--yes, it's safe. He won't hurt you, if he could I would've asked for Ortega. Just like this, at his elbow. There. I'll call Medical and ask them to send down something to help keep him calm.

JC: I'll check on you later, XXXXX. You'll be fine. Just breathe.

END OF TRANSCRIPT

My analysis of MO-1620 is such: He is safe to return to society. He has expressed marked improvements in behavior, judgement, and habits, along with regret and a strong desire to not re-offend. Additionally, the differences between his actions and those on his team are large enough that I support the proposal put forth by Judge Miranda.

Dr. Juan Castillo

Dr. Juan Castillo

XX/XX/XXXX

[nessa007]

Hey there again <3 Thank you for all the work you do for Ariel/Eric fandom. Speaking as someone who has been living rent free in the TLM universe since I was born (sounds pretentious but that's what happened: animated TLM was the first film I ever watched, Ariel was the first character I ever loved and never stopped being the ultimate favourite and inspiration whereas Ariel/Eric became the first OTP and to this day remain a model relationship to me). Glad to see that the 2023 remake not only rekindled interest to this story but contributed to vindicating Ariel as a passionate, independent young woman defying her father's patriarchal pressure and bigotry, after years of her being mischaracterized by assorted misogynists disguised as "progressives". Their "arguments" invariably boiled down to "a woman who doesn't obey her father and conform to his propaganda like a good girl ought to needs to be burned at a stake".

Needless to say those same people regarded Ursula as a "feminist icon" when she was the one who used another woman in order to control her father (thus using said woman as an instrument/bargaining chip to get back at a man). And it was Ursula - not Ariel - who literally changed her body to fit conventional beauty standards ("Vanessa" ruse) and stole another woman's physical trait in order to get the man (whom Ursula/"Vanessa" effectively dr*gged/put under the spell to take away his free will).

It's a delight to see you and other content creators pay Ariel and her outstanding story with Eric a well earned tribute.

Was very surprised to see some other blogger mention me in your ask box, haha. I really don't deserve that but pleased to see so many people crave content for Ariel/Eric and acknowledge their perfection <3

hiii, thank you so much for appreciating my ariel/eric gifs 🩵

i’m not sure if TLM was the first movie i ever watched but it was definitely the first movie i became super obsessed with as a kid. i watched it all the time and had the dolls and an ariel mermaid costume and everything 😆 we’re really so lucky that the live-action turned out as magical as it did. halle and jonah absolutely were the perfect choice to play ariel/eric 👏🙌 their love story was developed so beautifully and naturally in the live-action and i love that ariel’s story really became so much more than her just chasing after a boy but it was about her having freedom and getting to choose the life she wants instead of what her father wants for her. i also love how eric was shown to be so much more than just some prince/the love interest and we got to see how extremely similar he and ariel are 🥹🥰

i actually wasn’t really aware that people thought of ursula as a “feminist icon”. i mean i know some people enjoy villains and that’s fine but i definitely wouldn’t say ursula is a feminist icon lol

oh you’re gifset definitely deserves to be praised! it’s so good!!!! 🩵

[toxic-ship-tournament]

ROUND 2 / SIDE A / POLL 4

Harry Harcourt x Dr. Vincent DuFresne (@certifiedwerewolf) vs Amaro x Calamari (@hottopicabbacchio & @corpsoir)

who makes up your ship?:

Harbinger "Harry" Harcourt/Dr. Vincent DuFresne

why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:

OKAY SO. In WDWD we're introduced to Vincent FIRST, he's the ex-fiance of the protagonists' uncle and we learn from his brief appearances and the comments from the uncle that he's a bad dude. He's a doctor and a scientist and he sooooo wants to be able to experiment on people and modify them, but not in a "safe and thoroughly researched to mitigate risks" way, like, he wants to take people apart and put them back together in new and exciting ways. He's also just like a shit person, like manipulative and controlling and we get hints of this from, again, the uncle, who used to be engaged to him and Vincent still blames his ex coworker for homewrecking (Josef didn't not homewreck, but not the way Vincent implies, he just helped Nick realize how Vincent was treating him wasn't right and supported him in ending things, you know the drill). ANYWAY. Enter Harry: when we first meet him, he's a humanoid frog man, and then we realize he's got a scorpion tail (the frog and the scorpion, get it, do you get it?), and he mentions that they're "gifts from the good doctor" and "a reward for his good service" and you think, oh, I've got the lay of this land! Vincent gaslight gatekept girlbossed Harry into being his human guinea pig! And for like five minutes this seems to be the case, but the more we see of Harry the more it starts to seem like, hmm, maybe not? Maybe they are just both fucked? ANYWAY AGAIN, eventually Nick makes a comment about "what Vincent did to Harry", and Vincent is like. "You think this is MY doing? He was like that when I got him! I've been holding him back!" Because it turns out that when Vincent started talking "hypothetical" body modifications with this guy who had just gotten out of top surgery and realized "oh he's kinda fucked up, I bet I can groom him into being my human guinea pig <3" what that same guy was thinking was "oh this doctor is so handsome and fucked up, I should introduce him to the immortal witch queen with a goddess complex that I serve/worship and induct him into my cult so we can be together", which he then did because she gave Vincent the freedom to pursue his fucked up dreams of experimenting on humans (other experiments: guy who turns into a dire wolf, girl who can project people's fears into their brains, cyborg fairy changeling boy).

ANYWAY AGAIN AGAIN here are some more things about my nasty boys so you understand what I mean when I say they're Like That(tm): 1. Harry murdered his parents when he was ten, because he had the thought that he probably could and could get away with it, so he wanted to test this. He was correct, and the resulting chain of events (and murders) was what eventually drew the immortal witch queen with a goddess complex's attention to him, because she's always on the lookout for these sorts of kids that she can groom into serving her. Then she actually got to know him and was like "oh he's already fucked up, I don't actually have to do any work here". She has been holding him back most of his adult life because he only kills people when she tells him to and that is definitely a step up from how he was before she got him, when he killed people just cause he felt like it and wanted to see what would happen. 2. He can crawl on ceilings and he loves to do this and sometimes he does it to annoy the rich manbrat that the Queen keeps around to run their social media accounts because tormenting Lyall Knox is his third favorite passtime, after serving his Queen and fucking Vincent on every available surface in the tower until the Queen needs a break and calls in a cleaning crew to hose everything down and she orders them not to touch each other again until she says otherwise, which he's always obedient about because he will do anything she tells him to. Poor Vince getting cucked by his cult leader. He deserves it he's terrible. 3. They, alongside the guy who can turn into a dire wolf, raised the changeling cyborg and the fear projection girl, and were terrible guardians. After the kids get free they talk about him clinging to their ceiling to watch them sleep (and is the reason they sleep in shifts, and share a bed) and while they never get explicit, they will sometimes refer to him wanting to "play" with them which implies some kind of game where torture was the prize.

4. Once took the last pudding cup so one of his coworkers glued him to the ceiling and it's implied he got down by simply peeling off the skin where it was stuck. 5. Wants to be stuffed and mounted and displayed in his Queen's Gallery of Former Minions upon his death. 6. Vincent calls him "Darling" and "Darling Harry" and "My Darling". 7. Speaking of Vincent! The cyborg boy I mentioned? One of only two people who have ever successfully had that process done on them. The other is the aforementioned uncle; Vincent was on the team that did it and it was highly experimental and only succeeded because of the healing magic that his friend gave him that kept him alive after most of his body was crushed. In THIS case it was because the fairy boy's 'old man' had tried to cure of him of his iron weakness by what we will delicately call 'exposure therapy' and caused his organs to start shutting down and some of his limbs to atrophy. Vincent saved his life, but only because his Queen had plans for him and would be mad if he died. But also because he wanted the chance to study changeling organs, so after he replaced the ones that he needed to, he kept the old ones so he could study them. So somewhere in the tower there's just a fridge with this kid's old organs and limbs in it. 8. I cannot stress hard enough that everyone's assumption about Vincent gaslight gatekeep girlbossing Harry into being his human guinea pig WAS ACTUALLY HIS PLAN. This is not a case of him getting accused of something he wouldn't do, he WOULD and WAS GOING TO, it just wasn't NECESSARY because he was ALREADY LIKE THAT. 9. But also. I want to make this clear. They are in love of one another. Vincent would burn the world to the ground to make Harry happy. Harry would kill for Vincent, or more importantly he would NOT kill, if you catch my meaning. He would do anything short of betraying his Queen for Vincent. They love each other so much. 1o. Another of Harry's modifications is the ability to purr, which he got just so Vincent could hold him and pet him and he could purr about it. Also sometimes they fuck on the ceiling. Vincent always gets lightheaded from the bloodrush from being upside down, but anything to indulge his darling. Oh also he gave him the owl's ability to turn its head all the way around. It is never not creepy to watch him do.

ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:

They are very recent and I mostly work on them in my Discord server so I have not spoken about them much in public. But here is a post I made about them. https://certifiedwerewolf.tumblr.com/post/710932519216889856/by-the-way-im-not-calling-them-freaks-because-of Also here are some more images I did of them for reference https://www.tumblr.com/certifiedwerewolf/714005888634093568/cant-remember-if-i-ever-posted-all-of-these-but-i?source=share

****

who makes up your ship?:

amaro (he/him, by hottopicabbacchio) calamari (he/they, by corpsoir)

why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:

Amaro used his stand (make you fall in love) on a lot of people, Calamari came around and he used his stand on them for one night too, but Calamari kept coming back after the effect wore off so Amaro continued to use his stand for a bit being afraid of him leaving/because he thought it would be fun. Eventually, Amaro realized that he had stopped using his stand on Calamari and actually fell in love with them. They have a good 3 year run where they're together and fine and in love UNTIL. one day going on a job for information (mafia business), Amaro is talking/flirting some of the information out of the guy theyre after and Calamari over hears some guys talking about how "Amaro is after another one" and how they had been affected by his stand power before. It gets Calamari thinking if Amaro had used his stand on them before (yes, but only at the beginning) and they start thinking that the whole relationship had been a lie. They get in a big argument - Calamari confronting Amaro while Amaro desperately tried to prove to Calamari he hadn't been using his stand for years - and they end up breaking up. After about a month, Amaro gets worried about not seeing Calamari around and goes to their apartment that he still haa the spare key too and goes inside to find him. Instead, he finds a mess and Calamari eating cold pizza in an empty bathtub alone. Calamari half agrees for Amaro to stay and help them clean, which they assume and know thats the only reason they would have come, and doesnt believe Amaro about their relationship no matter what he tries to say. Over time - a cleaning session maybe once a week or so with Calamari making as little talk to Amaro as possible and Amaro just wanting to make things right again - Calamari suddenly realizes that he might be falling in love with Amaro again and confronts him about using his stand again and tells him to show her to them. Amaro had made a vow to himself to not use his stand around Calamari ever again, but caves and shows Calamari that the swords (where his stand power is) are all still there. Currently, they are working on getting back to how they were before, but there is still Issues and Problems <3 They both want it back but Calamari still cant trust Amaro but Amaro had never been in love with someone like that before

ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4AcBeDHX48BYcmdda13KNL?si=fkg9IR4NT5Klw4bUt-0QoQ&utm_source=copy-link playlist by hottopicabbacchio, character tags on both op blogs under amaro avvoltoio and calamari pavone

[sammys-stupid-stories]

5th January 2024

The worst part about getting into Dr. Stone is seeing my past potential squandered.

So many of the fan comics and fics like to use tired troupes to emphasize how smart Senku or Dr. Xeno are. The main occurrence is skipping grades / graduating early. Every time I read those I'm stuck staring at myself and hating what I see because that was me once.

I used to be so fucking smart. I prided myself on being top of my class and having the best grades. I kept jumping into the hardest courses and taking AP classes. I had so much pride in my accomplishments when I was accepted into my high school's early college program. There were like, i don't remember, seven or so of us. A very low number. Only me and one other girl actually stuck with it and finished the program.

...she was the only one of us to graduate with an associates...

I keep trying to remind myself that I was subject to some seriously shitty events during that time that took me away from my studies. Away from my ambitions and any possible future plans. (Future plans I say, as if I wasn't thoroughly convinced that I was going to die as soon as I left school. That's all I had ever been good for. That's all my parents ever needed me for. Bragging rights.) It's hard not to blame it entirely on my family for causing me so much stress. I still remember the videos I made sharing my weekly life with my friend and how often I had to retake them because I would burst into tears over all the small things that piled up.

I chose working dead-end jobs over finishing the last course to complete my degree. I left college as a drop out at the end of the second year. A large chunk of that is because I was asked to walk at the spring ceremony despite not having my last credit. We all figured I'd just get the one class and be on my way at the end of the fall semester that followed. My mother made a big deal out of how it was like lying and how I didn't deserve it. How despite EVERYTHING I had done up to that point: all the tests, the classes, the essays, the awards, the perfect GPA; I was never enough.

I left home after that and some other bullshit about not deserving food if I was never home. How I felt ostracized and forgotten about and how I clung to any freedom I could get. I remember taking over-night shifts and early morning events to cater just so I could stay away from home a little longer. So I could have money to buy step-one-home-necessities for when I finally left.

I remember hiding each dollar-store purchase of cheap plastic cups and cookware in my closet hoping and praying to a deity I didn't believe in that she didn't decide to trash my room looking for reasons to yell at me. To shame and belittle the child who was never enough. I remember the fear of my food stash being discovered or worse yet, the small cut in one of my stuffed animals that hid hundreds of dollars I squirreled away for when I finally could leave.

I remember having a bad fight and an early morning in my car, cold in my car waiting in the back parking lot for classes to begin. Crying myself rotten before a unit final in French and how I blanked during the test. I remember the teacher taking me out to the hall to do the speaking portion and how she showed pitty telling me she knew I was having a hard time and that we could revisit the test later if I needed. I remember crying in my car after failing yet another math test after a different incident.

I remember sitting on the cold bathroom tiles in the middle of the night, sobbing my eyes out as I attempted to end my life...

It's easy to blame everyone and everything for abandoning academia. But now, now I have to live with the pointless existence I survive in. Retail job after retail job. Shitty apartments, bad bosses, repetitive disappointment, and a depression I have never been able to shake.

I want to try again. I want to make something of myself. I want to work towards something amazing.

I like space. I like science even if it's confusing and I can't understand it. I want something where I can observe the universe and live life under an observatory telescope. ...it's a pipe dream but I want to be an astronomer. Or even an astrophysicist. Both seem insane and impossible for the person I've become. I can't even remember names anymore thanks to how bad my depression has ruined my mind.

I want to dream a little. Shut my eyes and think about how I could be in a remote location like the arctic or maybe some unnamed desert in Nevada watching the stars and screens and taking data to send out. That's a life I might actually feel pride in.

how lame am I to take so much inspiration from a random fan comic?

[heehoothefool]

Fuck it this is Tumblr and I have no shame

[Sets down soap box and gets on it]

*ahem ahem*

Dr. Eggman deserves to be a villain worth taking seriously again.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate Eggman as he is now. I appreciate him as the cartoon villain with a wide array of weapons of mass destruction that at the end of the day end up failing in some way, but like.

He used to be so much cooler.

Idk if anyone else thinks about this but I think about Dr. Ivo Robotnik, the evil overlord/dictator/conqueror of Mobius who forcefully turns those who are against him into subservient robots through use of the roboticizer maybe a little too much and honestly?

I miss him.

I don't really care if it's in a show or a game but like I would love to see either where Eggman is actually a respectable, sinister bad guy worth taking seriously and Sonic and Co. are the underground resistance trying to take back their home.

I think this would also be a wonderful way to bring back Silver (who I also miss INCREDIBLY he's my little guy), who I'm pretty sure hasn't made a mainline game appearance since 06. Hell if we're using THIS narrative you wouldn't even necessarily need to rewrite that much of his story, an orphaned freedom fighter from this robotic apocalyptic future, coming back to try and save his world from that fate by overthrowing Eggman before he can take everything over and crush the one resistance that actually had a chance.

Anyways I really just miss the old cartoons where even through the standard cartoon hilarity you could still take the characters seriously and also I miss Silver he deserves more love and I want him back please and thank you.

[howlingrose]

I hope you consider Brest reduction instead, the scars I got from top surgery destroyed all sensation and I’m still kicking myself about it 8 years later. Reduction keeps all sensation just take the moment to discuss with whatever dr. You consult with 💖

Hey! Thank you so much for taking the time to share your concern and your experience with me. I'm really moved to see, first hand, how humans can look out for other humans just because we share this wonderfull thing in common: the human experience. I feel loved and I feel grateful and I feel seen and not alone, because I've also reached out for strangers following the gut feeling of maybe offering some help or support, knowing that there were some times when I needed it as well and also knowing that they may not take my aproach kindly (and that is not intrinsically wrong either). So thank you, anon, for I know reaching out is not always an easy decision.

I'm sorry you lost sensation, I can understand that it is still bothering you if you weren't aware of the risk of it when you decided to procede with the surgery. It is not fair and every possible risk regarding any medical procedure should always be discussed with the patient before any decision is made.

In my case, I have talked with the doctor about it and I'm aware there is the risk of losing sensation and of getting notorious scars due to my skin tone. I understand that I won't be able to breastfeed (which is a win for me, since I really don't want to go through that experience). I'm aware of the risks that come with being put down on general anesthesia and getting opened. And I'm also aware of the less common, but still possible, outcomes such as lymphedema and necrosis of some of the tissue, issues that will have to be tended if come to happen.

Yet, when deciding I want the surgery I'm agreeing to take all the measures to prevent every negative outcome that can be prevented, I'm agreeing to take care of myself afterwards and reach for help if needed, and I'm agreeing to live with the outcomes that can't be prevented, such as the scars and the sensation loss.

I know sensation in that area is vey important for many people in several aspects of their lives and it is great they have that kind of relationship with their bodies. Yet, the way we feel inside (and about) our bodies is as diverse as there are human beings so, in my case, I'm willing to lose it in order to get to experience things that are more important for me that sensation.

I'm sorry if I seem unfeeling, I know that with this surgery I'm getting rid of things that other people have had taken from themselves against their whishes (due to health reason, to medical neglicenge, to the lack of adecuate comunication and information sources and maybe other scenarios I'm not aware of) and I get that it sucks for them and I do wish that it had been different and so so much better, because they all deserved to live the experience they wanted in their own body -or at least have the chance to decide over it-, but so do I and getting a flat chest is how I find and excersice my freedom over my experience and my body.

So rest assured that I am getting all the information and support from my doctors and that I'm taking this decision knowing what it implies and what it could imply. Again, thank you.

[nebulousfishgills]

ship asks (gonna go stranger things w this one): steddie, elmax, and byler

I answered already for Steddie (a soft ship it), but as for these others...

Elmax

Ship it

1) What made you ship it?

I love the idea of Max being one of the first people to expand Eleven's horizons and treat her normally/see beyond the fact that she has superpowers. The Material Girl Mall Scene is one of my favorite scenes in the entire show since it's just a good, fun time. Eleven's first taste of real freedom and fun. They also just compliment each other well since El's more softspoken whereas Max is more boistrous.

To be clear, I also hardcore ship Lumax, but Elmax just has something about it that makes me very happy.

2) What are your favorite things about the ship?

Again, the complimentary personalities and girls backing up girls. Also just... this. I don't know if this is just a normal thing, but I wouldn't get this cozy with my closest friends that I've known for fifteen plus years, let alone a few days.

3) What's an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Honestly I try to stay clear of ST shipping discussions so I don't know what's really a "popular" vs an "unpopular" opinion. Idk I'll just say that I think it's really close to or on the same level as Lumax (but again I loooove Lumax)

---

Byler (oh boy lol)

Ship It

(But I don't lose my mind over it)

1) What made you ship it?

I mean, in my opinion it's very obvious that there's tension there. Will absolutely has a crush on Mike but can't say it, and Mike, bless his heart, is too fucking oblivious to realize that or that his own feelings for Will seem to go far beyond that of his other friends. Also just like... I love Will and the poor kid deserves to have something he really wants, even if he's not really sure how to cope with it.

2) What are your favorite things about the ship?

The best friends dynamic is cute, it's an idea that makes Will happy, and I love how every time, without fail, my roommate and I see any blue-and-yellow object(s), we call it "The Byler [Object(s)]. So my bike is the Byler Bike since it's blue and yellow and we always tried to get a blue bowl and a yellow bowl at the dining hall (one had the blue, one had the yellow) so we could have Byler Bowls. Byler brings people together.

3) Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I think I'll get sniped for like... any semi critical Byler opinion bc half-offense (as opposed to full or no offense) some of y'all are fucking crazy, so I'll just say one since I probably have a couple. Mike Wheeler doesn't deserve Will Byers because he gets too swept up in Eleven to understand that his friend is going through shit, which isn't condusive for a healthy relationship.

I have a lot of opinions on Mike and his relationships with Will and Eleven in general and I want to make it clear that I don't hate Mike, or anything close. I think Mike's just not quite emotionally mature enough to handle relationships yet, especially ones with so many complexities as Will and Eleven. I have/had the same problem, so I'm not chastizing him, I'm saying I'm the same way and I see the signs.

Mike's too tunnel-visioned on Eleven to give proper attention to Will, and this can coexist with the fact that Mike's just not the right one for El since I think he's tunnel-visioned on her abnormalities of her rather than the normalcies that should be celebrated, which is where Mileven and Elmax differ for me. In my opinion, Eleven wants as close to a normal life as she can get after all the shit she's gone through, and I don't think Mike really seems to understand that.

I don't wanna do a whole analysis post because one, this is just an ask game; two, many people with more knowledge on the subject have done this before me; and three, this is not my circus, not my monkeys, Stranger Things ships aren't my expertise, the Creels and HNL are.

But tl;dr, neither Byler nor Mileven are currently viable because Mike needs more time to mature and develop before he himself can understand what he wants. The kid's a freshman in high school dealing with supernatural world ending threats every few months, I wouldn't be able to function normally either.