#natsume next panel: ... :/ anyways.

[defeateddetectives]

still cannot make direct eye contact with this arc in its entirety so i continue to only steal glimpses of it out of the corner of my eye like it's the sun but what was the reason for phrasing it Like That???!!!

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Mikan (pt. 25)

Today we'll talk about the second half of the transition arc before we embark on a very long journey that will catapult us towards the end of the manga. Tension will continue to build as the fragile peace established after the Sports Fest continues to wobble.

Eventually, sooner rather than later, things will break, irreparably.

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Chapter Ninety-Three

I’ve been doing a lot of brushing up on seasons and weather to write this essay and, like I said, it’s important that we’re now in the rainy season. Rain can represent a lot of things, but the aspect that stands out to me is dread or foreboding. Rain can often warn of a much more violent storm to come, while also cleansing and watering the plants. This mini arc--a transitional one like the one between the New Year’s Arc and the Sports Fest--is cleansing. It gives Mikan a much needed break from incessant dangers at every turn, if only for a moment. Breaks like this act as a rest, allowing both Mikan and the reader to settle down before beginning a new arc. But this isn’t just a break before we continue. Just like in the last transitional arc, we gain a lot of information and character/relationship in these chapters that we will need moving forward. 

In any case, we are in a foreboding period right now. Mikan’s newly discovered stealing alice creates a taut wire of tension. You can imagine this arc as a long line of dominos and we’re all just waiting for the first one to be toppled over. Once it is, everything else will follow. It’s hard to imagine that we’re barely halfway through. We’re ramping up to the beginning of the end, because the next couple arcs are long and emotionally devastating. This transition is necessary, both as calm before the storm and a threat that things will get rough soon.

Mikan’s encounter with Narumi has left her physically and emotionally drained so she was resting for three days. Her classmates were worried about her, but she’s all perked up now, having taken a well-earned break. 

If I can choose a panel with Natsume in it, then I will.

Again, Mikan has been told to keep her alice a secret, and that provides extra tension as we wait for the other shoe to drop and for the wrong person to discover she has the stealing alice. It’s inevitable, and once it happens, nothing will be the same. Thus we must relish this time we have now, where things are messed up and fragile, but at least they’re not broken yet.

Mikan doesn’t understand why she has to keep her alice a secret, but she obeys anyway, trusting Narumi that he has a reason for requesting that, and of course because her intuition is always right and because she has a bad feeling about what’s to come. I’m sure the rain isn’t helping.

As she’s walking with her friends, Mikan accidentally steps on Bear’s sopping wet body. They all take him inside and dry him off, but he seems tired and unhappy, or at least more unhappy than usual. He has apparently been spending his time outside the hospital, since Kaname’s condition has recently worsened. Kaname might not survive to see the winter and Bear can feel it, but, unable to enter the hospital, he stands outside in the rain, if only to be close to him.

;-;

But Bear isn’t simply waiting. He’s--essentially--committing passive suicide, hoping to get so weak that his soul returns to Kaname, in the hopes that it might make him stronger or even recover. Mikan is touched by this devotion--as I’m sure we all are--but that seems to be the end of it.

Until Mikan realizes that Bear is stalking her. He follows her all around campus, incessantly, and she is starting to get freaked out. Koko is able to read Bear’s mind: Does Mikan have the stealing alice? Because Bear wants his soul to be extracted and then returned to Kaname.

But Mikan was supposed to be keeping that a secret! So she takes Bear and escapes the class to talk to him more privately. She refuses his request but then he presents her with offerings, so she refuses even harder. Bear isn’t happy about this, but Mikan won’t be budged on the matter.

Bear's like "So what I'm hearing is you want a bigger bribe?"

However, she’s become the subject of rumors. The campus is alight with gossip about Mikan, who has the stealing alice. If someone were to prove she has the stealing alice, they would allegedly get an upgrade in star rank. Thus, there’s some pretty avid takers on that deal who decide to pursue Mikan, chasing her around the school. She is rescued by Bear, who unfortunately gets ripped up in the process. 

Mikan is confronted with the potential loss of someone she cares about back to back to back in this arc, huh? It just never ends. She’s horrified to think Bear might actually be dead, even if that’s what he had wanted. She carefully sews him back up, intent on not losing him, and takes him to Kaname in order to apologize for inadvertently causing his favorite creation’s demise. 

Kaname is happy that tears were shed on Bear’s account, but he points out that Bear is completely fine. He was just embarrassed to have been treated with so much gentleness and care. He is able to understand now that Kaname needs Bear to keep living, so he can live in his place. It’s a nice, heartwarming conclusion, and it reminds me of the last Kaname + Bear chapter, where Mikan took Kaname’s words about Bear to heart as being perhaps how her parents feel about her. 

I think there’s parallels to be drawn here as well. Mikan’s parents wouldn’t want her to be despairing and miserable not to have them--they would want her to live her own life and be as happy as she can be. It’s an important thought to keep in mind as the next arc draws closer. Mikan will have to contend with a lot of losses at once, and soft messages like Kaname’s will be needed in order to survive the emotional ordeal that is sure to come.

This page makes me SOB.

In the meantime, though, Mikan is delighted to find that Bear is content to sit in her lap now and no longer has violent urges towards her. He’s her newest friend.

God I am INCAPABLE of reading this chapter without crying. It’s so cute. I’m crying right this very second.

Anyway.

Chapter Ninety-Four

This chapter’s focus is on Hotaru and her brother, but there’s plenty of Mikan as well. It is officially summer now. Spring has passed and a new season means a new arc is incoming. But for now, the kids are going swimming! Mikan is excited to spend time with her friends in the pool, but Hotaru is glum. Turns out Hotaru--the genius know-it-all--doesn’t know how to swim. Mikan is surprised, both by the fact that Hotaru had kept yet another secret from her, and by the fact that Hotaru isn’t simply lacking in swimming knowledge--she’s horrible at it.

Hotaru is bad at swimming. Natsume is bad at musical instruments, particularly his favorite one, the sax. Mikan is bad at (albeit passionate about) lots of stuff, including cooking, studying, and admitting that she’s in love (though this one she doesn't even bother with). Ruka’s so far the closest thing to perfect in that group: he has athletic skill, some degree of academic success, his mochi was a hit, he’s a great performer, he’s cute, he’s kind… He really is perfect.

Anyway. Mikan is let down that her little fantasy of swimming with Hotaru won’t come true. Hotaru needs to practice with her brother. After all, this is for class. While moping, Mikan spots Natsume, who is sitting at the edge of the pool, still wearing his shirt. She guesses that he must not be feeling well. She’s not given the chance to think much more about it, but I’m sure the encounter from Kaname is fresh in her mind. Natsume swore he wasn’t going anywhere, but maybe his condition is worsening too. 

Her eyes land on him even all the way across the pool.

The mood is dropped even lower when Tsubasa asks her about the stealing alice rumors he’s been hearing about. Kids start whispering about her and this swimming class is turning out to be way more of a bummer than she’d dreamed--Until Ruka splashes her with water, laughing at her surprised expression. He invites her to play water polo with the other kids, and finally Mikan is able to have fun.

Lots of Mikan’s loved ones approach cheering her up in different ways. Natsume has his way, Hotaru has hers, and Ruka shares Tsubasa’s method. It’s not enough to just tell someone to smile. Tsubasa has a very healthy way of dealing with Mikan’s feelings and cheering her up. He validates her feelings and then gives her a pep talk to liven her up again. Ruka’s method is similar. He wants Mikan to cheer up, so he changes the subject. He gives her something new and exciting to focus on. If other kids are gossiping or bringing down her mood, then he’ll splash her and give her something fun to think about instead. 

So wholesome ;-;

When swimming class is over, most of the kids head back to the dorms, but Hotaru stays to practice with her brother some more. (One day, I’ll write an essay dedicated to the Imai siblings… One day…)

But Mikan waited for Hotaru to finish her class, ready with an umbrella so that Hotaru wouldn’t have to walk home alone in the rain. She’d originally brought two but lent one to Bear so he wouldn’t get wet and weak again like he did last chapter. It’s such a sweet gesture, what she’s willing to do for Bear and her best friend. She’s thoughtful and considerate of other people, even though she’s going through a tough time herself. Hotaru dismisses her own foldable umbrella in favor of sharing with Mikan. And it’s lovely moments like this, where both Mikan and Hotaru can laugh together, having fun side by side, that makes the times ahead that much harder. 

I will talk about Hotaru’s POV for just one moment, because I like the symmetry (which correlates to the sloppy and forced symmetry that I hate so much in the last chapters). Hotaru knows that she might have to “leave” soon, in whatever capacity that means. Luna threatened Mikan (or rather, Hotaru in Mikan’s body) that she’d lose someone important to her, like Hotaru, so she knows what’s in her future. Last time Hotaru was aware that she’d be leaving Mikan, she kept it a secret just like this. But her intention was to make Mikan so angry that she’d forget about her. It’s a similar tactic that she describes Subaru using in his lack of letters to their family. She understands him because the temptation is here for her too, to be cold to Mikan to make the inevitable pain lessened somewhat. But Hotaru isn’t doing that this time. This time, she’s treasuring the time she has with Mikan, refusing to take it for granted. So they can walk in the rain under one umbrella and she can laugh openly with her best friend because times like these won’t last forever, so why waste them?

Like I said last time, this arc is my favorite for the two of them. So sweet!

It’s a sweet theme to have in this chapter. This one and the speech from Kaname in the last chapter are crucial, even if they seem like one-off stories. The sentiments behind them are still important, because they’ll guide the way Mikan makes her choices and copes with her traumas in the future.

Chapter Ninety-Five

Technically this is the beginning chapter for the next arc, but to me it feels like a transition to wrap up the transition, so I'm including it here, especially since that's the way I had formatted Natsume's corresponding essay too.

This chapter starts with instant drama that only escalates, only through a dream. Last chapter, Hotaru alluded to having to leave soon, and now we see the next stage of that: she is called to the ESP’s office out of the blue. This is unusual to her classmates, especially to Mikan, since the ESP is definitely not good news, and when Mikan says a storm seems to be starting, it’s understandable why she might get that feeling. She also remarks that confronting that storm isn’t easy, and Mikan would know, wouldn’t she?

Mikan doesn’t like focusing on difficult subjects. Just like she refuses to admit her love for Natsume or his likely alice shape, and just like she refrains from sharing vulnerable thoughts about her parents or what the school might have in store for her, she is also hesitant to accept that things are about to change. 

But she swears she will be strong, and won’t look away this time. She’s ready to face the storm.

How interesting that the chapter's narration begins and ends in Mikan's room, morning and night. How fun! Also MIkan is so cute here!

Good news--that was all just a bad dream! Except it wasn’t.

Again, even though she wants to face the hard stuff, it’s much harder than just summoning resolve. I think that’s why we have the short-lived moment of Mikan brushing it off as a dream. If it’s all a dream, then she doesn’t have to worry about the imminent stress. Though she should confront conflict, and she knows that, it would be better if there was nothing to worry about.

Alas.

Even though Mikan was absent and didn’t really witness Hotaru being called to the ESP’s office, she really had been, though Hotaru dismisses it as no big deal (a lie). So, turns out there really is something to worry about.

And it gets worse.

Apparently, there’s also a rumor in the middle school division (when isn’t there?) that a DA mission didn’t go so well and that one of the students went missing--Tsubasa, allegedly. 

This shakes Mikan to her core. 

Throughout the story, we’ve seen Tsubasa act as one of Mikan’s pillars. He is always reliable, always kind, always helpful. Mikan can always count on him to be supportive and to comfort her. I’ve said before that Tsubasa’s method of handling Mikan’s emotions is perhaps one of the more gentle and compassionate--validating her feelings before offering solutions or distractions. He plays the role of an older brother and she loves him very much. This rumor is devastating.

DUN DUN DUN.

One, since when was Tsubasa in the DA class??? That’s entirely out of left field and a shocking development on its own. Then there’s the terrifying prospect that he went on a dangerous mission and might have gotten hurt. And then even worse--not only did he go on a dangerous mission, but he is now missing and is probably in serious trouble. 

That’s a lot to take in right away, and it seems like the bad feeling she got with her dream--that things are about to get really bad--was entirely appropriate. 

This is the beginning of a new arc. I’m really not sure what people refer to this arc as. I’ve seen it called the Escape Arc, the Rebellion Arc, the War Arc, the High School Division Arc. I don’t know. I don’t really have a name for it. In my head it’s just a really long period of time where a bunch of stuff happens all in one day. Because that’s pretty much it. A very long arc but it’s just one day. Maybe it should be called Mikan’s Really Bad Day Arc? Because it is a bad day for her (well, that all happens tomorrow actually--so maybe Mikan’s Two Really Bad Days?).

In any case, the beginning chapters of a new arc are pretty important, as I’ve discussed before. The beginnings of an arc (transition arcs don’t count) reveal some themes that we should pay attention to in the future. One is Mikan’s feeling of quick escalation and that things are going to turn very sour very soon. When a character has a feeling like this, always listen to them. Things will get bad. Very bad. In a very short period of time. 

Another theme we see right away is the potential for loss. Already, Tsubasa is in huge danger and his fate is uncertain. Mikan is now forced to deal with the fact that she might not see a loved one again. This feeling of loss will haunt her for the rest of the arc, through her parents, friends, and Natsume. This arc is long so it can be hard to trace specific themes, since so much happens, but if something comes up quite a bit, then it’s worth noting.

It’s also summer. What did we say about summer at the start of this essay, when Mikan was running away from home to find Hotaru again? 

“Summer is symbolic of love, passion, and liberty, of exploration and burgeoning adulthood.”

Last summer, Mikan took a huge risk and ran away from home on a vast adventure, determined to be able to sacrifice something, to be mature like Hotaru. She wasn’t really there yet, though. Sacrificing things isn’t easy. We discussed then that Mikan didn’t really sacrifice anything when she ran away to Alice Academy. Or, at least, not knowingly. She sacrificed her grandfather’s money, then his worry and concern. Then she involved two friends in a dangerous game without thinking about the consequences. You could think of last summer as a false start. Mikan decided what she wanted from herself, but wasn’t quite ready to be that yet. 

This summer is different. We will see Mikan make plenty of sacrifices and hard decisions, and how that reflects into a premature “adulthood.” Additionally, exploration will play a role as Mikan opens herself up to her mother’s experiences and has to confront her prejudices. And we will also see the climax of the “love” question that has been haunting this manga from the beginning--Mikan has so many love interests, so who will she choose? We are in for quite a feast.

In any case, back to the bitterness.

Your friends are here to comfort you, Mikan. Your lack of tears isn't impressing anybody.

Tsubasa is missing! And Mikan is shocked. Natsume, who was apparently on the same mission, has returned to the academy but nobody’s seen him yet (so how do they even know he’s back?), so there’s no way of knowing for sure if the rumor has any weight to it. It doesn’t matter--just the rumor alone is enough to upset Mikan. 

She spends some time with her friends, who all attempt to comfort her off-page. We see her again when the gang is leaving, with Misaki-senpai assuring her that none of this is her fault and that Tsubasa will be fine. That’s an important point to make: that it’s not her fault. Mikan likely is blaming herself. They all knew they’d face consequences for the New Year’s debacle. The problem is that when Mikan started having her conflict with Luna, she assumed she was the only one getting punished. Then the idea struck that maybe Natsume is being punished too, in his own way. Now the truth is starting to reveal itself--Hotaru was called to the ESP’s office and Tsubasa was forced into the DA class and is now missing. She was never the only one being punished. 

So even one of her most courageous moments, risking her life for Natsume’s happiness and protecting her friends, ended up putting her loved ones in a bad position. How could she not blame herself, being the person she is? So Misaki assuring her that Tsubasa’s situation has nothing to do with her is important… though whether or not Mikan listens is another matter.

Her friends all leave her alone and although Mikan looks visibly upset saying goodbye to them, her usual smile wiped from her face and seated on the floor by her bed, it’s only when they leave that she starts to cry, when it’s night already, many long hours after hearing the news at breakfast.

We’ve seen this side of Mikan pretty often already, that she doesn’t like to let others see her crying face, that she feels ashamed of herself for crying or being sad when she should always be happy and smiling. It’s her job to see the bright side, and yet now she’s in a rough spot where there doesn’t seem to be much of a bright side. Mikan only cries when she’s alone and she doesn’t like to talk about her problems, not to her friends and not to us and not even with herself. 

She’s upset and sad, and though Tsubasa, who is so spectacular at comforting her, would be a great person to turn to right now, he’s the one she’s crying about. She takes his absence pretty hard because of that, because he’d be the perfect person to rely on right now, and yet…

So she cries, alone in her room, after probably holding in the tears all day. She’s finally letting herself feel the sadness she hid from the others.

And then there’s Natsume, opening her window and perching on the sill, looking like hell. He’s visibly disheveled, bruised and cut up, but for some reason, he’s halfway inside her room.

It's so hard to pick images because I like every panel in this scene.

It’s an important reminder, I think, to point out that Mikan hasn’t spoken to Natsume very much since before the Sports Festival. They had their little hand-holding moment during the soul shuffle debacle, but that was just one moment. They haven’t really talked since. On top of that, he’s been missing from school, apparently on a mission for the DA class. Thus, seeing him now would be a surprise. 

There is so much they haven’t talked about: the events with Luna, the Borrowing Race, his alleged feelings for her, her feelings for him that she probably won’t admit to, his alice, why he’s been so distant. There’s a lot and that’s probably why they haven’t talked much. There’s too much they’d need to cover and it’s all daunting. And Natsume didn’t make it easy, either, since he’s been purposefully isolating himself. 

But here he is anyway, right outside her window (hopeless romantic that he is), right at the moment she needs him most. So she rushes over to him and asks him where he’s been and why he’s all roughed up. Natsume has been missing too, of course, and because he’s in such bad shape, it makes sense she’d be worried. But her first words are about him and what he’s been through, not to talk about her own experiences.

And of course, she says “everyone was worried about you,” which is just her way of communicating her own concern and worry without putting herself too much on the line. I think it’s pretty much habit at this point, to hide behind the group. She never really felt safe being open with him, but especially not now after being shut down the one time she let herself be. Though this moment does have her hiding, it also shifts things towards honesty, and that’s because of him. Natsume has to make the first move in that direction, to let her know she can too. Though they both do it halfway, it’s still an important shift.

He shuts her down, ignoring her questions and telling her he wasn’t planning on seeing anybody until he’d safely retrieved Tsubasa. But, he had a feeling she was crying alone, so “for some reason,” he came to her room. He is honest about his care, but he’s not being entirely open either. “For some reason,” he came to see her, so she knows that he went against his instincts to check on her, without actually saying those exact words. He’s halfway honest, just enough to communicate his feelings passively, and that gives Mikan all the permission she needs to do the same.

On top of that, Mikan can see that Natsume recognizes her tendency to hide her sadness until she’s alone. She has lots of friends, but she’s been keeping her negative feelings to herself more and more, and even though they haven’t talked much lately, he still notices these things about her. She knows for a fact now that he’s been thinking of her, and that he was just as worried as she was about him. 

We immediately transition into the next moment, where Takahashi calls from outside Mikan’s room to tell her it’s time for bed. There’s no answer, but Mikan isn’t asleep--she and Natsume are hugging against the wall. 

One of the best NatsuMikan scenes. I think we all agree.

This is not the first time Natsume’s put his arms around Mikan, but there’s always been a pretense behind it--to tease her, or behind a mask. Mikan has tackled him to stop his alice or protect him, but she’s never hugged him like this. This moment is so important because even though they’re not talking about all the looming issues between them, it’s a moment of nonverbal honesty. She wants comfort and he gives it without pretense. They both have laid their cards out for the other to see, more or less, just without the words. 

This is a big deal! 

Natsume aside, though this is a big moment for him too, Mikan being so upfront--even without the words--is huge for her. She is, as we’ve discussed to death, pretty closed off about her feelings, refusing to acknowledge them even to herself. She is in such a state of despair at the possibility that Tsubasa is in danger that she is willing to put aside her fear (to an extent) and seek comfort from Natsume.

In Chapter 50, when Mikan needed comfort after her run-in with the ESP, she was hesitant to settle for Natsume, who did not seem like the most comforting guy. Since then, however, Mikan has found a lot of solace in Natsume. Even if she doesn’t necessarily seek him out to make her feel better, he always does anyway. But after the Sports Festival, when he had--albeit against his will--brought her pain instead of taking it away, or when he had rejected her when she finally tells him what she wants, the fact that Mikan can seek comfort from him is monumental. No, he’s no Tsubasa or Ruka, who seem more gentle or compassionate on the surface. But Natsume is still gentle and compassionate here. There’s not much he can say to comfort her, so he comforts her physically (as we know he is prone to do), hugging her and being a shoulder for her to cry on.

And she lets her walls down too. If he can be honest, that he came here to see her, then so can she. And she can cry in front of him, even though she didn’t let herself around the others. Honesty begets honesty or something.

Ultimate reciprocity.

And when he tells her not to cry, she tells him that she has to, for his sake, because she’s crying for him too. She can recognize that he’s struggling and suffering too, and this is her way of letting him know that she’s been noticing him too. Just like she hides her sadness away until she’s alone, she knows that Natsume’s the type to hold it all inside, to never let it out. In fact, she thinks to herself, he’s more likely than her to keep it inside, no matter how upset or tired he gets. He came here to seek comfort just as much as he did to give her some. 

She doesn’t say that last part, but, again, she doesn’t have to. The little that they do say is enough for now. This is both of them giving to and taking from each other, without pretense, for the first time. Entirely reciprocal, entirely--if nonverbally--honest.

But the hug must eventually end. Natsume has a mission to finish and the only way to truly make her happy again is to bring back Tsubasa. He tells her so, by promising to find her senpai and jumping out the window.

“And about you too,” he says--again suggesting without outright saying it that he knows what she’s been going through with her stealing alice. He knows that it’s not just Tsubasa but everything that she’s been struggling with. And he will help her. He’ll fix her problems.

Blah blah blah something intelligent about the Natsume's back motif.

She doesn’t say anything, but she watches him leave, because she always watches him leave.

Conclusion

We're officially done with the transition arc and have started the Mikan's Two Really Bad Days Arc. Let's see how many parts it takes me until we reach the next arc! Who can say.

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[coquelicoq]

[Image description: Panel from chapter 104 of the Natsume's Book of Friends manga. An offscreen Natori says, "She's fine. I always have them carry talismans." Matoba smiles and says, "Ah, Natori talismans. I wish I had one of those." /end ID]

[ID: The very next panel in the same chapter. Natori raises an eyebrow and side-eyes a smirking Matoba. The first segment of his speech bubble contains only an ellipsis. After that, he says, "Sasago knows its signature now after that close call. She's been tracking it. So we know where it is, and we have a way to immobilize it, but..." /end ID]

that dot dot dot is doing a lot of work. natori buying time while he has a little freakout like oh shit does he know? why's he smirking? is he teasing me? has he known all along? wait does that mean he wants me to track him? why would he want that? no there's no way he knows, he would never willingly allow a rival clan that much information on his whereabouts. and besides, i made that talisman very sneaky, he couldn't have found it. he's just being power-hungry as per usual. keep it together dude just play it cool...oh shit this pause is becoming noticeable. so anyways about my shiki who was recently protected by a natori talisman -

actually natori has some kind of tracking talisman on matoba at all times. that's how he knew where to abduct matoba from for Operation: Kitty Cat City. matoba fully knows about it; it's why he wasn't at all surprised to find a paper doll in natsume's hair after the mask youkai debacle (matoba internally as he watched it fly away: classic mother hen shuuichi-san momence 🥰). because this is matoba "boundaries? what are those? can you eat them?" seiji we're talking about, he's not bothered by this "violation" of his "privacy"; rather, he finds it fittingly clingy (it is, after all, only right that natori should be keeping tabs on him obsessively). sometimes the talisman gets confused and sticks to yesterday's outfit, so he always checks to make sure he has it on the way out the door (his pocket patdown is "keys, lighter, wallet, exorcism supplies, shuuichi-san's cute lil tracker he thinks i don't know about <3"). i wouldn't be surprised if he's figured out how to uno reverse it and now uses it to track natori's location as well. this may not technically be canon but it is probably all 100% true in an important way that transcends canon, we just never hear about it because it isn't relevant to natsume's journey 😌

[linkspooky]

Chuuya and Kunikida

For characters who we have not seen interact that much in canon, Kunikida and Chuuya actually have a lot in common besides the fact that they both hate Dazai, (I kid, I kid). 

What’s the similarity between an idealist striving for justice and a career crimminal for the mafia? Read more underneath the cut:

1. Inheriting Two Sides of the Conflict

Chuuya and Kunikida’s first significant interaction comes in the cannibalism arc, where both of them are the main commanding forces on opposite sides of a conflict. When the leaders of the armed detective agency and port mafia are taken out of commission at the same time, we see it is Kunikida and Chuuya who start giving orders in their place.

Both of these characters are also, primarily people you would not assume would take lead of the organization. Dazai was originally being groomed as the next boss to take over after Mori, even becoming an executive at a young age before Chuuya only to desert the mafia.

Kunikida exists in the Armed Detective Agency, which also both has Dazai, and Ranpo who are both tactical and analytical geniuses. The armed detective agency was also created specifically for Ranpo, and his relationship to Fuzukawa is similiar to Mori and Dazai’s (though far more positive, Mori and Dazai’s is almost a negative foil for the two of them). However, leadership falls to Kunikida the same way it did to Chuuya because he has something the two geniuses lack. Dazai moves pieces around on a chessboard, and Ranpo solves mysteries like a fictional detective straight out of detective novels, but first and foremost a leader must lead people. 

The two of them also have opposite reactions to taking charge. Chuuya when presented with the situation, his reaction is to immediately go on the offensive. He attacks the hospital before even considering any other option or trying to align with the armed detective agency. 

Kunikida’s first action was not to go on the offensive or defensive, it was to hesitate because he needed time to think of the best option. In a way it looks like they took opposite paths. Just like the Armed Detective Agency is the guardians of the Daytime and The Port Mafia are the guardians of the night, Chuuya acts quick and dirty in order to achieve results whereas Kunikida hesitates, and then eventually buys time to think of the ideal. 

However while they look as opposite as night and die, both of them had the same motivation at heart. Chuuya tried to levy all the forces of the Port Mafia on the hospital at once to force the ADA into surrendering, thereby minimizing the casualties of the total war. Whereas, the reason Kunikida suddenly felt overwhelmed, and tried to seek a third option eventually is because he also did not want any blood to be shed. Chuuya minimizes casualties, Kunikida seeks the ideal path where the least amount of people will get hurt. The only difference is Kunikida does not consider attacking Mori the same way that Chuuya immediately jumps to attacking Fukuzawa, because while they have the same motivation at heart Kunikida is still an idealist while Chuuya is a fatalist. 

Chuuya and Kunikida are at heart both motivated by the people around them, and wanting to protect those people. That is what makes them the ones most suited to take over leadership of both organizations. They see the human element that most of the other strategists do not. However, they both channel this deeply human urge into two different paths. 

Kunikida is an idealist, he strives for a goal far above reality.

Chuuya however, makes a lot of compromises with the extremely harsh reality that life in the mafia will show you. Notice how when Fyodor describes that even knowing that they are being manipulated, people cannot stop themselves from killing each other it cuts to a panel of Chuuya knowing that they’re trapped and saying he has no choice anyway. 

Chuuya is in a much less healthy environment than Kunikida, also considering that unlike Fuzukawa who has good and just intentions Mori is genuinely a bad and self serving person who uses people as tools exclusively to his benefit and their detriment. It’s a perfect way to describe Chuuya’s relationship with the mafia, paradoxically he’s presented to us as a good, loyal person who is willing to protect his comrades just like Kunikida is but because he is in the mafia he ends up killing people. He’s been manipulated for so long it’s what he’s used to, in situation where he knows he’s being manipulated, he still chooses to take the mafia and kill people in the end because it is his only home. 

Kunikida does not bend, Chuuya compromises, but that does not necessarily mean one of them is better than the other because Chuuya willing to bend and lower himself means he can reach some people in the underworld that Kunikida never could.

Both of them are inheriting a world that is currently in an uneasy peace, but also constantly threatening to go out of balance again. The post-war system set up by Natsume-sensei did manage to bring some kind of peace, but considering the number of orphans in the streets, the slums, and murders that still happen in the city in broad daylight it’s still a heavily flawed system. Kunikida and Chuuya are set to inherit both of these flaws on opposite sides. Kunikida has spent his entire life trying to fight these flaws, whereas Chuuya has spent his life shaped by these flaws as he was practically raised by the mafia. 

They’re also both people who originally belonged to a separate group, but had to go rogue because their original group failed them. The Sheep betrayed Chuuya which led him to question his abilities as a leader, which is why he settled for taking orders in the Port Mafia. Kunikida was a police man, a teacher, before joining a private detective agency to pursue justice that way. They both have strong senses of justice that require them to go radically outside the system in order to achieve what they want, for Chuuya its to be able to lead and protect the people under him, for Kunikida its to strive for his ideals. 

They were both shaped by a broken conflict and eventually the responsibility will fall onto both of them to better both sides of the conflict, rather than maintaining a status queue that still creates many victims. 

2. Relationship to Dazai

Kunikida is Dazai’s current partner, while Chuuya is his ex-partner and member of the famous Soukoku duo. Dazai’s relationships with both of them on the surface read similiarly. He goes out of his way to annoy both of them like it’s his only hobby. 

While they are partners Dazai knows both of them inside and out. There are times that rather than openly trusting them with information he will instead manipulate them to come to the conclusion that he wants them to. He can even claim to know everything about them, or be able to accurately predict all of their actions, and most of the time if the two of them agree on a strategy it will be Dazai’s strategy they are following. 

His behavior of annoying others, purposefully antagonizing them, treating them as enemies even when they are partners, and then trying to control them are all related behaviors for Dazai. Dazai is someone who fundamentally has trouble forming relationships with others, especially when he is required to see them as human beings. If their ability to see humanity in their comrades is their greatest quality, then Dazai’s inability is his worst quality. 

Dazai’s behaviors are all ways of relating to other people without actually having to communicate or let himself be known by them. If he annoys them, and antagonizes them, pressing all their buttons is a good way to figure out all of their boundaries by watching their reactions. In a way he’s playing with them only to observe them, and Kunikida and Chuuya are both so quick tempered they fall for it every time. Another thing despite being a mafia dog, and an idealist, both Kunikida and Chuuya are incredibly true to their emotions in a way Dazai can never be, which on one level makes them easy for him to read and provoke, but on another level makes him jealous.

When dealing with both of them it’s Dazai’s natural tendency to try to take control. Which is why his main method of strategy is to predict their actions. With Kunikida he more trusts Kunikida to follow through on his predictions, whereas he will try to actively manipulate Chuuya into doing what he wants. However, both of these characters are also so true to their own emotions it adds an unknown, illogical, unpredictable element to both of them which is why Dazai cannot truly bring them under his heel. They assert their humanity at every turn, forcing Dazai to deal with that. Kunikida will care for ideals which Dazai sees as meaningless, and Chuuya acts so much on instinct he will go off on his own and take paths that Dazai would avoid because they are illogical. 

They both have something which Dazai lacks. They both value the loyalty that Dazai does not have, because he is not capable of making connections in the same way they are. One of Chuuya’s biggest reasons for hating Dazai leaving the mafia is that he betrayed the Port Mafia that Chuuya himself is loyalty, leaving behind all of their own comrades. He easily walked all over what was everything to Chuuya. It’s because they have these qualities they can become leaders in a way that Dazai is not. Dazai is the demon prodigy who inherited the executive position at eighteen, but you only need to look at how Dazai treated Akutagawa to tell what kind of leader Dazai was. In comparison, Chuuya while not shown to do so in the manga, in spinoff materials is often showing watching Akutagawa, nervously approaching him and trying to pick up the pieces that Dazai left behind, because he values what Dazai doesn’t. 

That is why no matter how much he antagonizes them, Dazai also has a deep respect and trust for both of them. Besides Odasaku, the two of them are the closest that Dazai comes to trusting other people as equals. 

3. Chuuya Longs to Become Human, Kunikida Longs to Become and Ideal 

Chuuya and Kunikida are both individuals deeply invested in protecting the lives of all those around them, especially those in immediate sight like the detective agency and the mafia. For Kunikida this is his ideal, for Chuuya it’s the reason he fights.

Chuuya has been since the days of the sheep, basically allowing himself to be used as a tool by organizations if it means he can protect the comrades around him, and have a place in that organization. 

Chuuya even joined the port mafia - after the sheep betrayed him by sacrificing himself in order to protect the sheep. It’s also the primary flaw in both characters, that they are almost selfless to a fault to a point where their own self esteem plummets. This is what makes Chuuya so interesting as a character, he is generally a good, sefless guy, just... you know, working for the Mafia. Chuuya lets himself be used by the mafia, and both shapes his image and acts like he has a code of honor, like a classic ‘noble mafioso or honor-bound yakuza’ character from fiction. In a way because their own selves are so lesser to them they are both acting out ideals. However, the way they follow ideals only leads to contradictions, for example Chuuya acts like the noble criminals that the Port Mafia make themselves out to be, the lesser of two evils, the ones who fight for the peace of the city at night, however his boss is Mori one of the most unsavory characters in the series. 

Despite being one of the most idealistic characters in the series, we also see Kunikida do the opposite of follow his ideals several times early in the manga. When trying to save Atsushi would be too difficult because they were also handling a high profile case at the same time, Kunikida seriously considers the risk too great to save him. Kunikida advocates against his ideal of saving everyone. 

He also tells Atsushi not to save Kyouka. At which point he elaborates that while he desires to save everyone, he himself already knows that there are people he just cannot save and he’s learned this through his own failures. 

He is also the first to advocate for turning Kyouka into the police, because while admitting she is sympathetic Kunikida also lectures Atsushi that he must become responsible for the person that he saves. 

If Atsushi is a reckless idealist who is driven to save everyone without really thinking of the consequences, then Kunikida is an idealist who clashes with reality over and over again. Note that Dazai saves Atsushi and Kyouka pretty easily and Kunikida is hesitant to help both of them because of the burden that the agency would carry bringing both of them on board. However, this is not because Kunikida does not care, but rather he cares too much. He sees all the possible consequences human and otherwise and fears failure which is why he is reluctant to recklessly charge ahead. It’s easy to just save people like Dazai does when you don’t care, and just pick them up like pieces on a chessboard.

Caring too much isn’t always a heroic quality, it can be a burden on itself. Chuuya and Kunikida take far too much responsibility when things go on around them, which leads them to their biggest flaw they are both far too aware of their own weaknesses. Kunikida and Chuuya struggle with the idea that they are lesser than others, less important. Chuuya himself is less than human due to being Aharabaki and having no history, or place to belong except with the people who use him. He acts loyalty to the mafia, follows the mafia’s rules and ways of living, because he thinks it gave him everything. 

Chuuya’s struggle is a very personal one, and he tends to take everything personal. Dazai left him behind when he left behind the mafia, which is why Chuuya wants to settle it hand to hand with him. Chuuya has close connections to Ane-san, Akutagawa, and those close connections are the ones he fights for. 

Kunikida is a lot more impersonal, as he tends to see ideals over people. That is why despite how competent he can be, he has almost no personal friends, and no girlfriend. His comrades at the agency are probably his entire world at this point because they are literally the only human connections he has, even though Kunikida treats that much more like a work relationship than anything else. 

Kunikida is human in a way that Chuuya is not. He’s deeply emotional. He presumably has a family, and a history, whereas Chuuya was robbed of both of those things when he fused with Aharabaki. However, Kunikida also wants to escape that. To him, his human emotions, his weaknesses always run contrary to his ideals. He wants to be an emotionless machine who does not hesitate and saves everyone. 

Which is why early on in his character arc we see Kunikida advise for taking the more practical routes. Not because he does not want to save those people, but because he knows that reality is going to crush him if he tries. We see exactly what happens when Kunikida fails to save a child that he does not even know, he’s capable of caring this much for complete strangers imagine how much it would affect him if his comrades were killed in front of him. Kunikida acts cold and distant because he fears his humanity will crush him, therefore he tries to suppress that humanity and strive for the ideal instead. He longs for the ideal, and strength, to be a tool that can be useful to others, even though he’s so naturally human. 

Chuuya is the opposite, in fact we see him almost let Dazai kill a child in front of him earlier in the manga. While this was a wrong action on Chuuya’s part, he also had his reasons for doing so. 

For Chuuya his own subordinates and comrades are so important, that he wants to remove Kyusaku to remove the danger from them. Chuuya also, probably does not understand Q’s full situation and therefore all he sees is a walking time bomb that put his men in danger. Chuuya’s view of the world is, if you’re not useful to your comrades then you die, it’s shaped by the Port Mafia who left Akutagawa one of their greatest assets and most loyal members to die after failing just one mission and in critical condition. 

It’s not the right thing to do but it is a comrpomise. Chuuya is able to compromise and adopt a fatalistic view point with reality much easier than Kunikida. Which also, means he can become a tool in a way Kunikida never can. Chuuya himself already has an inhuman quality, and an immense power inside of him that erodes away at his ego and the human parts of him. He can even flip his brain off like a switch and become a being of pure power that is almost unstoppable. He has the power that Kunikida longs for, and also the ability to not get broken by reality because he is not as human as Kunikida is. Chuuya does not trust himself, he considers himself to be the one at fault for the Sheep’s betrayal of him, he thinks he is missing something as a person as a leader which is why he lets himself be used rather than try to act for himself. 

However, the things that Chuuya values the most are not power, or even ideals, but rather his comrades underneath them. In Dead Apple he’s shown to care about those same comrades years after the fact, and is broken by the loss of them. Chuuya will always choose people over ideals, which is why he’s able to form such close personal relationships with others even on the wrong side of the law. 

Chuuya’s path forward is in recognizing himself. The reason he is blind to Mori’s faults is because his self image is so low he believes he needs to follow Mori’s orders. However, Chuuya is the one set up to inherit the Port Mafia, once he realizes not only does he value his comrades but he needs to stand up against Mori if he values them, because he is the better choice to lead them, he will be able to take the Port Mafia on the path of what it is supposed to be, rather than what it acts like under Mori’s self interest. 

They both live in this constant struggle trying to find their own humanity, amongst the people they fight for, and the ideals they represent as they let themselves be used as tools in the conflict. However, Chuuya is much more aware of what to Kunikida is a recent revelation. That he actually cares more about his comrades than his ideals, which is why Chuuya is the one we always see compromising and taking the more fatalist path. Kunikida does not realize how much he would break and the importance of his comrades around him in maintaining his ideals until someone else points it out to him. 

Which if Kunikida’s arc is to continue is something he will have to grapple with and be aware of. As much as he wants to be a selfless idealist and choose ideals over people, the person who Kunikida is naturally cares about people a lot more than his ideals. His ideals are a construction and a way to live his life, but what he lives for ultimately is the people around him. That does not mean his ideals are worthless however, but Kunikida needs to find a way to balance them so he can fight for people and ideals. Otherwise his constant choosing of ideals over people is something that will only distance him from the people he cares about the most. 

Chuuya and Kunikida, on two sides struggling against each other, the same struggle, of human beings, of tools, of ideals, of harsh realities let’s hope both of them come out on top. 

[bayern-moni]

So, given that Fyodor and the Hunting Dogs are more-or-less being the closest, most imminent threat in BSD, does that leave Agatha as the Final Boss? So far, Fyodor's plans have only exempt her organization, wherein every other group is manipulated to some level.

Hello! Sorry for the late reply, I'm very happy for your ask 😁 I warn you, though, I'm not capable of writing a short reply to save my life ahahah. But, as they say in my country "Warned person half saved person"

So, ready to go.

Well, it is a complex situation. Now, the agency's problems seem to be Dostoevskij (and so, the group DotA) and the Government's military of the Hunting Dogs (whose utility I've still many doubts about). But the latter's actions almost certainly are manipulated by Dostoevskij, even if they probably don't know it. They did create problems in Sigma's casino to capture Atsushi and the others, after all, although Sigma is a member of the Decay of the Angels like Fyodor and Gogol. Gogol who recently infiltrated as a spy in the Government's ministry of justice for six months before he revealed himself and did... well, whatever it was the sense of what he did. And absolutely a coincidence, what is the military organization working for the ministry of justice?

Correct, the Hunting Dogs.

So, they are really convinced that capture our protagonists is a just service to the state, but they're playing Fyodor's game. But only his game?

What's the situation? Well, the players on the chessboard are the Agency & the Port Mafia vs the Decay of the Angels. In the middle, there is the ex Guild and Oguri allied with the first party and the Hunting Dogs maneuvered by the latter. And, aside, there is Agatha,who in chapter 12 is seen to be allied with Fitzgerald and Dostoevskij (although their idea of "alliance" is veeery singular, if Fitzgerald's defeat is to say something).

Fitzgerald is betrayed, defeated and definitely out of the alliance, so there remain only Fyodor and Agatha. She seems to not even be present, though. There is really not even a single mention of her in the manga since then, excluding her short appearance in Dead Apple movie, differently from the almost omnipresent Fyodor. Thanks to the movie, we learn that she is in contact with Ango (so Japanese government) who asks for her aid, that of a foreign government association of ability users, to terminate Shibusawa, former ability user protected by Ango himself and then, coincidence, manipulated by Dostoevskij. Situation she was surely well informed about when she accepted (I bet my head) and disappointed when her slightly extreme solution wasn't needed anymore. A solution that could have burned the entire Yokohama to the ground (and maybe even Fyodor himself who was there, too). They were already allied at that point? Yes.

Anyway, wonders of friendship aside, this disappearance is like if Agatha didn't want anyone to know her involvement in the war, maybe in order to have both the alliance with Japanese government and with Fyodor's group to exploit as she sees better fit in the moment. But both Fitzgerald, Mori and Dazai, we absolutely know it, they are aware of her. Anyone else? Idk, sorry, probably not. So...

Will she return? Absolutely

Will she be the final boss? Not sure, probably, but it doesn't convince me.

Not like she's not credible enough to be one, nay, she would be a wonderful final boss to face, but I think it would be too simple this way, too linear for my taste, at least. Why?

As you said, the only organization Fyodor, the current villain, didn't mess with is hers, The Knights of the Clock Tower. And technically, they are still allied, at least for what we know. Both are in search of the Book, "a single novel where everything written becomes the truth". Dostoevskij to exterminate the ability users from earth's face and Agatha ... Boh, nobody knows. By the way, until now, the enemies are come in a linear order: Port Mafia -> Guild -> Dostoevskij (+ Oguri, then Decay of the Angels and Hunting Dogs). Defeated one, another comes (and the defeated one becomes an ally for the protagonists). This scheme has almost no exception until now. And it's boring. We are currently blocked in the last stage of the sequence. So, the problem is still them: Fyodor and Agatha. And this damned book.

To obtain it, we know that are needed: the death of every ability users in Yokohama, Dazai in a way or another, Atsushi's ability. Dazai and Natsume sensei are the ones that know the Book most than the anyone else, probably even its location. Fyodor has done many attempts to obtain it (Shibusawa, the fall of the Guild's aircraft, Pushkin's poisonous ability and the assassin Hawthorne, Oguri's crimes-proof masking ability, Gogol in the Government and finally the Hunting Dogs). To say that he's obsessed with it would be an understatement. But for a so mind-set man, he seems not to care when his attempts are inevitably neutralized. He seems to be even fine with it, as long as he finds it entertaining. He even indirectly gave Dazai the key to his own "failure" in some occasions. And then, he was always like "beh, it was amusing, now we can get to the next step". It is an incoherent behavior for a man regarded as the epitome of logic by both Dazai and Ranpo (and it is surely to say something). We could understand it if we ask if they can really be called failures. And if he's really working for himself.

He's presented to us as a really unbeatable enemy since the beginning. Always. Even Dazai and Ranpo, even Natsume, even Fitzgerald admit that his strategies cannot possibly be defeated or avoided. And indeed he is a step ahead of the others. But for all his capacity, he's behaving like he has all the time in the world to fulfill his goal, not really caring about 1 or 100 failed plans; he knows Dazai and Atsushi are necessary for the Book? Intentionally not kills the former (his nemesis and the main threatening enemy he has) and never makes a serious effort to obtain Atsushi's ability (Shibusawa failed and Gogol only played with him, maybe the Hunting Dogs alone are seriously trying). Then, there is the Decay group. We know that it consists of 5 members (Dostoevskij, Gogol and Sigma, plus the others unfortunately still unknown, that damn lazy mangaka) and one of them has recently obtained a page of the Book. A page which works well as the entire novel, according to the half dead Taneda. So, how and when the fuck do they intend to use it? If my memory doesn't fail me, the use of the page has something to do with the (quite horrible) death of Gogol, but I'm not sure. And who is this mysterious page possessor? It's not Fyodor, that's sure, for he was already put in chains in Meursault prison by then and later he never even mentioned it; Gogol is dead, so he can't be, can he?; Sigma is not very known yet, but he seems too kind and with an air of "wtf is happening now?" for having taken it (but obviously for all we know, it could perfectly have been him). One of the remaining members? Probably. Agatha herself? It would be too soon, I think.

And we're forgetting that Fyodor is a member of the Decay, not the leader. In fact, when in prison, before getting excited like a kid for having descovered his new cell partner, Dostoevskij makes this comment:

They requested him to form a plan, not he planned something and ordered them to execute it. He doesn't seem to be the boss there. He received an order, and he executed it, while probably creating a fault in the plan just to make things more interesting to him. A fault that he surely expects some people to notice. A not perfect plan is still a challenge, isn't it? It'd explain why he can fulfill his goal but seems to having more fun when losing. He knows he can win (the modest bastard), but purposely lets his goal be delayed. And although he has had many occasions to do so (damn, his same touch can kill) he repeatedly avoided to kill his enemies, maybe because doing so would mean to eliminate the only players who can hope to beat him. Him, or a third party. He openly went to the battlefield, attracted everyone's attention to himself for 30 chapters, seems to be the cause of many events in the series, but this behavior could also be a way to lead the protagonists to beat someone else, trough him. A bait. He is quite devilish, after all. And certainly not new to all the ally-exploit-betray strategy, quite the same as Agatha, I bet.

So, he works with the Decay, but the Decay group works alone or for someone? And who are the ones that requested this plan of his, which, I suppose, consists of every manga panel since chapter 42?

Can they work with Agatha, too? Or for her? Both Dostoevskij and Agatha have every interest to get in the way of each other. Could he work with Agatha and, at the same time, lead Dazai (or whoever else) to foul Agatha's plan? A similar way of thinking could be being unraveled now in Agatha's favor: she probably worked with Fyodor on the plan of his own capture, and the prison of Meursault is indeed described as a top secret prison in Europe, whose existence is known only to the highest members of European government. To Fyodor, a way of hiding himself like a proper puppeteer, to Agatha a way of constantly putting a very unstable ally under her most total supervision. So, given that for both the idea of loyalty is fried air, could his plan be a sort of second "mutual destruction" to make his enemies neutralize each other and then, calmly get what he wants? Dazai himself said that he has not the material means to bring his plan to completion. Means that the guild and Agatha do have (so, the alliance).

Sadly, we have still too little information about Agatha and the Decay to be remotely sure of anything. However, I think the reason why her organization is the only exception in the trouble he caused is because they are still formally allied.

When I said that I don't see Agatha as the final boss is because it would be a really too linear sequence of enemies, it would be fun if there were some surprise in the end. But, if she were really the final boss (and there are some probabilities of it happening), I would like it the same. She would be a serious badass boss and her organization members ... Wow! I'm counting the chapters until they join the battlefield since ch. 12! Still, I'm sure it's only a matter of (veeery long) time for their arrival, but I'm not sure if they will be the final boss. Even if they could. Anyway, we still don't know anything about her, her plans or moves. Not theirs. Nothing can be said for sure. Sorry anon 😅

And then, there is also the matter of that strange group of ability users presented in the novels (that I did not read, so I could say idiocies). Rimbaud, Verlaine, perhaps even Hugo, Goethe etc... For what we know, it can also be theirs the role of final boss. Or someone else's entirely. The final boss could be a known character, or someone not appeared yet. Or Agatha. Or whoever you please. Unfortunately, we are all in the reign of imagination, yet. Even possible for Agatha and Fyodor to be part of that group of ability users, given that they are European like the others. Who knows (I'm surely not, too lazy to read the novels ahahah).

I hope to not have bored you, anon 😅😂 I really got myself carried away, but I hopefully answered your questions? I really hope so. I would like to know your thoughts on these characters, now 😉 and feel free to ask something else, if you want. Only then I will try to make it shorter ahahah. Thanks for the ask, anyway!

[ladyloveandjustice]

Animazement 2019

It was pretty fun! I did a lot more than I normally do thanks to Bethany’s enthusiasm (her first con!), so I should always go to cons with her I guess haha. She drags me out of my introverted comfort zone.

I was kind of an anxious mess throughout in some ways though, need to really deal with my problem of fixating and obsessing over dumb things and learn how to live in the moment and have fun like my friend does but idk. therapy. someday.

BUT ANYWAY,  we did a lot the first day! I saw a rakugo performance, heck yeah! I’ve seen it in video games, seen it in anime, AND NOW REAL LIFE. The guy, Someta Hayashiya, was pretty fun!

I went to a Kotono panel and autograph after that, then that night, tried out a Sailor Moon panel . It was not super fascinating and I was anxious about not having a wide toothed comb for my wig so I left early and got them. Then I went to a Class 1A “After Dark” panel, basically My Hero Academia cosplayers making a lot of raunchy jokes and having fun. Events: Kirishima proposed to Bakugo, Deku won a pressing contest against Bakugo and also swore for the first time in his life (”I WON FUCK YEAH”), cosplayer wrapped each other in TP, shenanigans.

Anyway, then we went to the thing where we watched weird clips and answered questions about them to win prizes (stuff in the vein of the He Man “what’s goin on” vid). If you answered wrong u had to do stuff like take a shot of hot sauce.

Next day! I got into my cosplay (complete with in-a-very-sorry-tangled-state wig) for the morning! And went to a maid cafe with Bethany!

It was really cute, they did a dance and everything.

I left early for the concert with Jennifer Cihi, though, which was also a lot of fun. She was very passionate about being there, gave some background about how Dic approached her (they specifically told her to sing “very young and very white” which uh. bout what I’d expect from Dic tbh). She had no idea Sailor Moon had gotten so big until a friend approached her years later, then got into going to the cons and stuff. She chose a bunch of Sailor Moon cosplayers to come on stage and dance with her, which included me because my friend pointed me out. I bought my Luna and glowstick from the Super Live, but had to drop them when we were asked to hold hands. She hugged us all but then got caught on my wig, which nearly claimed many lives the short time I wore it.

Anyway, after that was another Kotono panel, which I was surprised wasn’t as full as the concert one. But it was still lively and you can read more about it here. Her selfie with us from her twitter!

I’m the civilian Usagi with the Luna.

 Then we went to the Fight Like a Girl: The Importance and Impact of the Magical Girl genre panel! It was pretty thorough, talking about the different perspectives surrounding magical girls and gender. She cited Akiko Shimada! It also talked common tropes regarding lady heroes magical girls subvert, talked about women in refrigerators and asked if anyone knew who Stephanie Brown was, at which point I yelled “I created a wiki!”. It was wild to see Steph bought up in a magical girl panel, I thought I was the only person who would ever cite her when talking about magical girls but APPARENTLY NOT.

But my favorite panel was definitely the La Soldier panel, about the Sailor Moon musicals. It was super informative- a lot of behind the scenes stuff about the early musicals and mentioning their connection to Saint Seiya of all things- told me a lot of things I didn’t know, and the guy who ran it was great! He even griped about the scandal with Mercury being replaced for the most recent SuperS musical cuz fanboys whined about her having done gravure shots (”sexism KILLS”) and was really cute talking about his crush on one of the guys who played Tuxedo Mask. AND gave PGSM a shoutout.

Unfortunately, there were two assholes throughout the panel who were talking loudly and laughing (Bethany said they were mocking the guy and the way he spoke, and they’re lucky my hearing’s so bad and I was so focused on tuning them out so I could hear the guy cuz if I’d known that I’d’ve gone off on them MUCH harsher and sooner). I turned and glared a bunch and said “hush” quietly bc I was afraid of disrupting the panel further, but it didn’t do anything, finally a Sailor Venus cosplayer told them loudly to stop and I joined in and then security kicked them out. Ugh. What losers. Why were they even there.

We couldn’t really get in late night panels bc it was so packed, so I (very badly) played a board game with Bethany and another guy at the tabletop gaming section (I was so tired I was even worse at following board game directions than usual, but fortunately they were both very patient. Then we went to a panel dedicated to ridic fanservice clips, but it was crowded and I couldn’t see subs and tbh already seen enough of all that for a lifetime, so I left a bit early.

And that was basically it! I did some kareoke on the last day and also got my GOODS:  a CUTE ART of all the Ace Attorney girls (Maya, Pearl, Kay, Athena, Fran, Ema, Iris, Susato- still gotta play Great Ace Attorney to meet those last two but I’M SURE I’LL LOVE EM), an adorable fanmade Athena keychain, an OFFICAL Makoto Kino in her school uniform keychain, a small Natsume art, some cute kitty arts, some smaller, nicer plushies of Venus and Mercury so they can hang with my other small plushies (unlike the huge in-hindsight-bootleg ones I already had) annnd some stickers for the laptop I’ll have to get to replace this one- Sailor Moon, Alphys/Undyne, Frisk w/ Flowey in a flowerpot, and Garnet). I’ll maybe post pics later.

Cosplay wise, there was SO MUCH My Hero Academia and Persona 5. Art was also dominated by those two, plus Mob Psycho. (I did see SOME MP cosplay, a mob and a reigen, but i guess the characters don’t stand out enough to be super popular for that?) 

Anyway it was a good con, glad I went to one for the first time in a while. Maybe next time I go to a con I’ll have my anxiety straightened out and have an even better time.

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

One Punch Man 13 (S2 Ep 1) | Afterlost 1 | RobiHachi 1 | Kimetsu no Yaiba 2 - 3 | BSD 25 - 26 (S3 Eps 1 - 2) | King of Prism - Shiny 7 Stars 1 | Shield Hero 14 - 16 | Double Decker! EX 3 | Sarazanmai 2

The shows that have made it this season will be getting their tags...soon. Because I fell behind early in the season, trying to read ahead is nastier than it really should be...

Update: I forgot to roll out the tags...! Sorry about that.

One Punch Man 2 1

This season’s name…sounds counterintuitive, to say the least.

I love how Genos is carrying a box of hijiki (which looks like hair) and Saitama’s wearing a shirt that says “hair” (in kanji) all over it. It’s funny for a bald man and his “work of modern art”.

I never knew Genos was so blunt. Maybe because the last season was a good 2 – 3 years ago…and was by Madhouse and Shingo Natsume, and so this feels slightly different.

Oh, Sonic…! I didn’t realise how much I missed you! (Not to mention, you look hot with the off-the-shoulder shirt, y’know?)

“Enoki” is a type of mushroom.

Oh, Garou!...Oh wait, there isn’t much more of the episode left, is there…?

Afterlost 1

Oh great…this is the second time the subs don’t work on my device of choice. Then again, it seems to be a problem with the ad blocker and not the video…Okay, fiddling with the ad blocker worked.

Let’s play Spot the Main Character Amongst All the CGI Guys! Yay! (obviously sarcastic)

Without the volume…this OP is, to not put it lightly, s***.

Shoumetsu means “extinction”, not “lost”.

And the reward for Jankiest CGI this season belongs to…

Okay…this is stupid…if it f**ks up even more, I’m out of here!

I know the horned owl is your mascot, but that doesn’t mean you needed a real owl.

Waittttttttt…how did the scientists know Yuki’s father was responsible for this stuff anyway?

I feel like Takuya was shoehorned in. I mean, there’s a better example of this character type in Naofumi (Shield Hero).

This guy’s name, as we know it, is Geek. Wow (sarcastic). Also, I find it funny Takuya has a “ta” on his licence plate.

“…she’s just a package.” - Welp, you don’t get any more blatant than that for female denigration! I think Anime Feminist had a field day with this one.

Come to think of it, I saw some helmets back at Geek’s place but Takuya never seems to use one…

You had one job, Takuya…*sigh*

I swear I said a few previews ago I don’t like 1st person cam…no one ever listens to me, do they???

Not dis shitto agen!

Okay, enough complaining. It seems Yu-no wasn’t bad enough, so they had to produce something like the Chaos Dragon and Seisen Cerberus of old…

RobiHachi 1

It’s Takamatsu being Takamatsu again. Also… I forgot to mention this earlier, but…Taiga Umatani seems to be related to Kurari Umatani (who is credited for Boueibu), so…I wonder if it’s a collective writer’s name for Studio Comet, like Izumi Todo for Toei? The only thing that goes against that is the fact “Kurari” existed during the Diomedea days of Boueibu. Also Isekandar seems to be related to Yamato’s Iscandar (which Takamatsu seems to like, based on the fact he once used Matsumoto metres as a shorthand for being in space). If you don’t understand, Yamato’s endgoal contains a place called Iscandar and that’s by Leiji Matsumoto.

Okayyyyy…what are these rabbit creatures…? But yes, it does smack of Boueibu simply because the episode layout’s the same.

Hmm…? So Robby seems be En (the do-nothing life) in spirit, but Kinshiro in background, but also he runs away from his fortune. “Hmm” indeed.

Oh! That’s what this string of misfortunes reminds me of! The monsters of the day from Boueibu.

Acrymalide.

Hatchi is a Kinshiro in looks but an Atsushi by being a goody-goody.

Hmm…they actually bother to show girls now…apparently Takamatsu went to a boys-only school, which is why his original works focus on dudes (as in, you can pick out when Takamatsu is adapting someone else’s work because it has a heavier focus on girls as supporting characters).

Mechs and spaceships are probably two of the only ways I accept CGI…and you, Takamatsu sir, have just done it (the latter)!

Aw! Lookit his (Hatchi’s) face light up like a Beppu’s! It’s cute!

Hatchi getting out the hatch…lame, but still somewhat effectve on me (because that’s my wordplay game you’re playing, Takamatsu…!).

LOL, it’s a transforming mech. It seems my words from a few comments earlier were basically foretelling the future.

Kimetsu no Yaiba 2

Yikes, “Sakonji Urokodaki” has a lot of strokes…

My Little Sister Lives For Headpats…hey wait, don’t all anime kid sisters do that(?)

For some reason, I know the “Don’t Lose Your Way” meme from Kill la Kill and yet I’ve never…watched KlK…?(!)

I swore that was Giyu (it’s the haircut, I swear), but it’s a random demon…

When all you have is a hatchet…use your head. (LOL)

Ooh, nice eyecatch!

This is really black comedy, in a sense. (I remember this demon fight from the manga which is why I say that.)

Hmm…this wispy stuff wasn’t in the manga.

Come to think of it, I don’t know how Tanjiro got his scar…

If you squint really hard, you can see CGI Urokodaki and Tanjiro…

He probably has no footsteps because of his shoes. Or the fact he’s a ninja. Were there ninja in the Taisho era…? Update: Tanjiro has the same kind of shoes…oops.

Come to think of it, Daisuke from DN Angel had to dodge traps every day before he became Dark…(thinking of this because I reread the first volume of DN Angel recently)

Oh! Manga panel preview! That’s quite fun, really.

Kimetsu no Yaiba 3

I just really like how Tanjiro’s eyes grew larger with what was clearly resolution before he closed the door.

Why do the non-descript hunters look like Giyu too…?

I’ve never seen KnY so comedic…and that’s coming from someone who thought the Head Demon fight from last episode was funny.

Welp, this is…kinda interesting (<- says a fan of Touken Ranbu).

This letter writing…it reminds me of Kekkai Sensen somewhat.

This realistic water…it’s beautiful, but it looks like it came straight out of Niagara Falls. Is that…too realistic for anime?

“No matter…”

It’s a fox version of Speed of Sound Sonic! Then again, the real Sonic is around this season and probably won’t be happy about that comparison…

Is “that guy”…Giyu? Or the demon who slaughtered Tanjiro’s family?

Spider lilies! I didn’t mention it last time, but the symbolism of the spider lily makes the ED real cool.

Bungou Stray Dogs 26

I’v read the wiki page for Chuuya enough to know the next few eps involve the LN Fifteen, so even though I haven’t read a translation of the source material, I know some of the ins and outs of it already.

Ooh! Kitty! (If you’re a manga reader, you’ll know the cat’s significance.)

I think at this point in time, all viewers are used to Dazai’s bulls*** by now.

Is it just me…or did Bones use CGI for the city? It actually looks kind of good…! Sasuga Bones!

I have a fic that predates Fifteen and could be set in the same period (the fic’s vague enough that it could’ve been them at 15, 18 or even 12)…and basically the only thing I got wrong was the fact Chuuya doesn’t have his hat (because I wrote Chuuya as having his hat in the fic). Also, the banter is tenser than I imagined it, but that’s subjective and something only I, the fic writer, can compare.

I wonder who the yellow-tinted Ability holder is…? Update: That’s Randou. Spoke too soon.

There was a box in the subs…I wonder what symbol that might’ve been.

“…closest to the explosion.”

BSD 3 2

Oh, so that’s what Randou was for! I see now.

Chuuya may be OP, but he’s one heck of a fun character…also, he’s not as OP as Saitama, so…yeah.

Oh, the ED from last time is the OP. I should’ve known.

I like the almost storybook-style of this episode!

I thought Dazai was faking releasing the hostages…I was wrong.

Face-stealing aliens return! (They were around last ep too, I think, but they were harder to see then.)

Again, watch for the cat!

Well, with only one suspect (or 3, if you count the Sheep kids), it was quite easy to figure out one of them was behind it. I kind of suspected Randou, anyway, considering what I’ve learnt from all the mysteries I’ve read.

Because I was watching this episode with the volume down low (so I could hear the OP and ED), the volume really did work wonders for the plot this ep…!

King of Prism – Shiny 7 Stars 1

This is the final debut of the season, so basically how this and Shield Hero perform will decide what will stay and what will go. Oh, yeah…apparently this is the companion to a movie, but the movie and TV series have slightly different content.

This dude’s (the one at the very start’s) so grumpy.

…welp, I didn’t expect it to be that much CGI.

This chunk of exposition…makes me feel like I missed something. It was probably in the previous movies, come to think of it…

Basically, this is…uh, Makura no Danshi or Room Mate all over again??? I’m noping out of here…! Bye!

Shield Hero 14

I’m putting this on the chopping block…just so you know.

…uh, age gap romance? It’s hard to tell at this stage, but they (Filo and Melty) sure act like it is romance.

Welp, this survived the chopping block. “Raphtalia backstory” is a good enough reason to stick around for, isn’t it?

Double Decker! EX 3 (FINAL)

I always miss the OP when I’m not watching Double Decker, but I miss the ED even more…

I can’t believe they tried to get away with a Spirited Away parody…!

I can’t believe I get to see Dr Apple all buttered up like this…

I love how Kirill is censoring himself. (At least he can prove he’s not a girl, unlike Valery/Milla, whose entire shtick is the confusion between genders.)

Oh! I think I know the answer to the case already! It was Kirill’s soap, so Doug is the “killer”. But then…why is it Derick, of all people???

LOL, the angles were so reminiscent of Detective Conan…

Underwear-stealing sextuplets…? Why does that kind of sound like Osomatsu-san…?

Ahh…I really am going to miss this ED. See you next time!

Shield Hero 15

I never thought Raphtalia would be so angry…that’s Naofumi’s job.

Okay…it’s the age-old question: do demis listen with their animal ears or their human ears? Do they even have human ears??? (That’s 2 questions, isn’t it…?)

Uh…CGI dinosaur, much?

Shield Hero 16

…and of course, the Queen is a loli. Of course (<-sarcastic).

“Why’d I even have to feed this KFC farm?” – LOL, but I wonder what it sounded like in Japanese…? (i.e. I didn’t listen to it and when I try to do that, there’s always something over the top of it…)

Sarazanmai 2

I wonder if I’ll ever get used to watching Ikuhara on a weekly basis…?

Kappamaki…geddit?

Wait…y’mean, Keppi’s breath smells like cucumbers? Uh…okay, TMI.

Enta’s Japanese house kind of looks like the one in Mawaru Penguindrum.

Wait…why does the Japanese word for “Fish Buffet” (Osakanazanmai) end in –zanmai? Does that mean Sarazanmai is…Dish Buffet?! (LOL)

Notably, one of the signs said “Union” in katakana. It must be an English play on words…y’know, trade union and union = connecting with each other? I’m surprisingly enjoying myself a lot with Sarazanmai, by the way. I didn’t think I would, but I am!

I think that might be Irohassu water. Or Dasani. I saw both those brands in Japan, but I don’t remember which had the green flowers.

Oh…my goodness! Nekoyama (Cat Mountain) Mokichi (written with kanji for “hair” and “luck”). It’s a Boueibu monster! Frick, I’m laughing too hard!

It’s very small and very thin, but the word next to the cat in the eyecatch is neko.

“…Meow God!” – It’s a pun on “Oh, My God!” but with a “meow” in it. It’s pretty forced, but it does get the nuance of the joke across…

Why the heck did the subbers choose “herb” as the word for weed in this? “Weed” is sufficient, right? Right…?

Well…if that spurt of water wasn’t symbolic…I don’t know what is.

The title translates better as “…but I want to steal”. Y’know, add a little force into it.

The two As and the “sara” below it seem to make a zombie face, huh?

Ooh, that ending…

[dillydedalus]

what i read in april

in which i read two (!!) 5-star-adjacent books and also defeat my nemesis thomas mann 

the paper menagerie & other stories, ken liu

impressive collection of (mostly) scifi short stories with some fantasy elements. liu is particularly interested in historical/collective memory, historiography, textmaking and textuality, and the importance of stories. my favourites were the bittersweet title story (feat. living origami animals), an alternative history story about the construction of an underground tunnel between japan and america, and the last story, in which time travel becomes tied to politics of remembrance. some stories are not as strong, especially an honestly boring take on AI/voice assistants/surveillance, but overall these are really good, especially in how they approach SFF from asian perspectives. 3.5/5

der zauberberg/the magic mountain, by my nemesis thomas mann THE EVIL IS DEFEATED!!! after 1.5 months i finally finished the magic mountain & honestly.... i really liked it. literally all that happens is that a sweet young fool called hans castorp goes to a mountain sanatorium in switzerland to visit his cousin for three weeks and then.... just stays there for 7 years even tho he ISN’T REALLY ILL (which is both incredible dumbassery & incredibly relatable). up there he hangs out with a lot of people, has lots of conversations about politics & philosophy, falls in love w/ someone, some people die, some people leave, hans takes up skiing, everyone becomes obsessed with seances & psychoanalysis & whatever else for a time, there’s duels, and most of all, thomas mann is like HEY TIME IS WEIRD AM I RIGHT??? and it is! it is pretty weird. things i didn’t expect: a) it’s honestly pretty funny, b) i had several feelings (’als soldat und brav’), c) i kind of knew what the ending was going to be but still i was. distraught. ANYWAY. sometimes.... books that are classics.... are really quite good. 4/5

city of dragons + blood of dragons (rain wild chronicles #3-4), robin hobb i really enjoyed this series even tho i think these two are not as strong as #1-2. the central characters & relationship dynamics are great, i was happy to see malta back, and i loved the new plot points here (trader conflicts! hest coming to the rain wilds! most of all, chassim and the chalcedean women’s liberation front!!!) BUT i think all of these could have done with a bit more space; it all feels crammed together at the end & not really satisfying. 3.5/5 for both these books, series rating 4/5 

the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy, douglas adams like, it’s funny. maybe i was not in the mood, but funny doesn’t carry a book. 2.5/5

remembering babylon, david malouf (uni) this book is really good but it is also exactly the kind of book you read in a seminar on postcolonialism, which is what i’m doing. it’s set in a small australian settlement in the mid-19th century, where one day a strange man appears who looks like a “savage” but claims to be a ‘british object’. it turns out that he was marooned as a child and joined a native community, and his presence and strange liminal status (’the white black man’) disturb the entire community. it’s all about questions of assimilation, indigeneity, whiteness, and who owns the land, and it’s very very good, well-written, evocative of the australian landscape, dreamy and i’m probably gonna write my paper on it & end up resenting it a lil bit. 4/5

a canticle for leibowitz, walter miller jr. post-apocalyptic monks in the desert preserving knowledge!!! i ADORED the first two parts of this with all my heart (the first set 600 years after the nuclear apocalypse in a new “dark age”, showing the canonization of leibowitz, engineer-turned-protector-of-knowledge; the second 600 years later again, when during the “renaissance”, conflicts arise between church and secular scientists), the third part (a new nuclear/space age w/ mutual destruction threatening) i liked less, especially when it abandoned the themes of cyclical history, the danger knowledge presents to humanity but also its value, and the process of science and culture rebuilding itself from the atomic ashes for a digression on euthanasia, but i still loved a lot about it, particularly the monks sent to human colonies on other planets (”remember this earth... never forget her - but never come back” made me cry). it is very steeped in catholicism (obvi) which i don’t have much of a connection with but i actually loved how the book talked about religion. on the whole, i genuinely, genuinely loved this, loved francis illuminating a blueprint for 17 years, loved benjamin/lazarus (?), the apocalypse being reframed in biblical terms, loved the melancholy & despair over humanity destroying itself again and again, and the mad mad tiny hope for peace somewhere, some time. i will read this again for sure. 4.5/5 

machandel, regina scheer perfectly fine multi-perspective novel about 20th century (east) german history, all revolving around the small village machandel (a lower german word for the juniper tree). it incorporates some interesting perspectives/topics you don’t necessarily see a lot (forced laborers from eastern europe, euthanasia programs during the third reich, a sympathetic look at the promises & failures of the gdr) and it’s a pleasant read but it didn’t resonate with me in any special way. i’m more interested in scheer’s new book, which is literally set right around the corner from me. 3/5 

wild seed, octavia e. butler sooo this is a afrofuturist-y science....fantasy (??) book about two immortal beings, doro (spirit possessing bodies) and anyanwu (healer & shapeshifter) & their complicated relationship over about 200 years. also involving a magical selective breeding programm, changing your gender, slavery of different kinds and a whole lot of babymaking. it’s interesting&unique&very immersive, but not really octavia e. butler at her best imo. i think my next butler will be xenogenesis. 3/5

kokoro, natsume soseki early 20th century japanese classic about a young student and his mysterious mentor. very quiet and slow but still a good read. don’t have much to say about it tho - i’m probably missing a lot of cultural context. 2.5/5

the merchant of venice, willy shakes (uni) tbh i skimmed most of the scenes shylock wasn’t in bc in this house we stan shylock & no one else, but also like why would anyone sign away a literal pound of their literal flesh as a bond for money you don’t EVEN NEED fuck you antonio. 

shylock is my name, howard jacobson (uni) the hogarth retelling of merchant. i’ve read this before & thought it was clever & sharp re: the play & shylock, but ultimately sexist & gross. i still kind of think that but i liked it A LOT more this time around; it’s really the best of the hogarth series (that i’ve read) in terms of actually engaging with & deconstructing the play rather than just retelling it in a modern setting and it does it in a really smart & thoughtful way. everything not about shylock is ridiculous and farcical but that’s really the point - all the characters beside shylock are the worst and already were the worst in merchant. still not happy about the sexism but: 4/5

the complete maus, art spiegelman honestly it really just is that staggeringly good and given the amazing panels about beckett (x), i’m not going to say much more. if you’re interested in the graphic novel (not really novel bc it’s not fictional) and can deal with the subject matter, just like. read this. predictably, my favourite part was the beginning of maus ii, where art (post-publication of maus I) reflects on what he was doing and why (and why mice) and deconstructing the central conceit from within (see the panel linked, where everyone’s wearing animal masks and he wonders whether mentioning housepets will ruin everything). 5/5

[aplanetcalledmars]

Completely elated that they FINALLY decided to make nendos out of Hunter x Hunter. It’s one of my all time faves. (I think Natsume Yuujinchou is my number 1 though) Anyway! It’s about damn time. I first watched this when I was in middle school, I was torn between Killua & Kurapika back then & was calling them my boyfriends (LOL IKR?) But now that I’m really old, I’ve resorted to calling them my children with Killua being my #1 child.

I really wish Togashi sensei would recover completely. HxH is longer than YYH, with the latter only being 19 volumes so I hope he gets to finish the series. But please, stop killing my favorites from Genei Ryodan. I can still remember that panel of Shalnark on the swings. Hopefully, after they release the first 4, they’ll make Illumi, as well as Feitan & Hisoka next.  Speaking of, I got a lot of backlash over my opinion on the Megumi (Shokugeki no Soma) Nendo. Saying that I gave the company too much credit because they chose to make a nendo out of her before the other characters. Let me all give you a tip. Have you ever wondered why some anime, even when they aren’t really popular, get so many seasons while the really good ones don’t? It’s called sponsorship. If you have enough money, you can have your favorites released earlier, block seiyuus you don’t like from having roles. prolong an anime that has meaning to you, etc etc. You can also gain inside info. 

You may choose to believe me or not, that’s entirely up to you. But I’m basing this on experience because I know a couple or two who would sometimes do this. I have chat logs dated way back when, asking me if I wanted Heaven’s Feel to be turned into a series or a set of movies but with a higher budget. They even told me when the 2nd season of Shingeki would most likely be released (and true enough, they released it that year). Of course some companies don’t do this, but still, there are those who do.

Ahhh I’m running out of space for my collections.

[akutagawaprize]

No offence, but I feel as if in this chapter, the author got tired of this entire ark in general, as the entire situation was solved ridiculously fast. Now, I don't really understand Japanese, so this may not be accurate. But from what I see, both highly powerful opponents were ridiculously quickly subdued, and somehow Fitzgerald decided to side with the Mafia and the ADA for no reason. We didn't even get to know Fyodor's ability yet, and he's already defeated.

I, too, was disappointed in this chapter, but after collecting my thoughts, I decided that it wasn’t a bad way of ending this arc, if this indeed is the end. Sure it may have looked abrupt, but it could have been worse… Or so I like to tell myself.

(Warning: I try my best to be unbiased and objective but this may read like a lot of whining. Only proceed if you’re fine with that.)

The good:Akutagawa’s promise to Atsushi; appearance of the rest of ADA and Port Mafia; Fitzgerald saving the day; Ango and his crew appearing; that not-so-subtle nod to Odasaku in the end

The “I don’t have much of a good or a bad opinion on this”:Shin soukoku new combo move;  Chuuya still in the book

The bad:Quick resolution to the arc; implied lobotomy(!?); Dazai and his keikaku doori antics again; strange sense of déjà vu since they used practically same buildup as the last arc, but now it’s the remix version

First of all, I’ll just have to throw out my wildest (not really) theory out here: Fyodor is still the “final boss”. Come on, he gets the moniker “The Demon” and gets jailed off like that? No, no. It doesn’t make sense at all, at least to me. So my guess is that Agatha and the Order of the Clock Tower will swoop in to try and mess with the Agency, but when they’re on the verge of defeat, Fyodor steps in and uses this chance to strike ADA for himself. So uh Guild Arc 2.0. Or something along those lines. This could’ve been a test drive. Or he could have other Rats in Russia waiting for orders in case there’s a Phase II. Call me optimistic, but that’s what I would like to believe.

We jailbreak from Azkaban and invade Ministry of Magic now.

There really isn’t much to say about Dazai proving himself a formidable chessmaster again, other than I called it on an earlier ask. I just hope I’m not the only one tired of him being right all the damn time. No one can be that all-seeing…

People keep asking about Chuuya. Some were disappointed he only had one panel, some were rejoicing because it was “in-character” he stayed because he enjoyed fighting. But Ranpo kinda confirmed Chuuya stayed not because he wanted to beat people, but because it’s faster that way than using his brains? He’s not dumb, but come on, why would he prolong his stay if at that time his current concern was to protect Mori/kill off Fukuzawa? So yeah, his fate doesn’t really interest me, because I’ve always thought he was someone who is too popular to die… Not important, because sheesh let’s face it, Asagiri hasn’t really fleshed him out yet and doesn’t seem to have the intention of wanting to anytime soon. (Light novel soon please? Or a backstory in the movie if they wanna get dat yen lmao)

I’m more curious about how Ranpo got out, because the last time Poe trapped him, he was transported back with Yosano after solving the case. Was there some unwritten rule that a person can be selective with who he brings back with him? I hope we get clarifications on this, I’m a sucker when it comes to analyzing abilities and their corresponding limits and restrictions. It bugs me that in BSD there are a lot of additions and contradictions when it comes to abilities and that they come up only when it’s convenient to the plot. (For example, anyone can activate Doppo Poetry as long as they have a page with them. I don’t think it’s been mentioned before, but anyway it bothered me for some reason.)

Another big thing this chapter: Akutagawa’s promise to Atsushi. I got an ask talking specifically about this, so I’ll write a post about that later. For now, I can just say that it’s probably the best thing that’s happened to Akutagawa after the “You got stronger” shoulder pat. I’m not expecting him to turn over a new leaf, now full of hope and vigor for life, but he’s trying and he might come up with his own concluson to an unanswered question in his heart: “What is my life worth living for?”

Oh and Atsushi being able to rip out abilities… Imagine if Wolverine can No Longer Human enemies… I don’t like this at all, but what can you do, he’s the protagonist anyway so he gets a pass.So for now I’ll be bumping Atsushi to No. 2 of the most powerful known Ability users second only to Lovecraft. Granted, he had to team up with Akutagawa to come up with this Ultimate Dark Claw thing, but still. I guess I just like balance. In any case, one can argue that shin soukoku needs to grow stronger if they want to fend off the coming Europeans.

Food for thought: If Dazai can nullify abilities and Atsushi can also cancel out abilities with tiger claws, will they cause a singularity if they got into a serious fight?

Hmm.

Fitzgerald! He didn’t care about Fyodor getting his leftover assets actually, but remember, it was Fyodor who crashed Moby Dick. He also reasoned that while he has no interest in whatever he’s “left” behind, he didn’t want a rat using his leftover resources. In short, he did it to spite the Russian. So while I can respect that, I was still hoping that instead of Dazai coming up with the deal (how did he even know Fitz acquired Eyes of God?), it would be Katai who would call this to attention. After all, as someone who is knowledgeable about technology and electronics, he could have picked up information on Eckleburg. Of course, there’s a fair bit of chance that he heard about it from Ranpo or Atsushi (they were there when Alcott asked for help) but there was no explanation for how Dazai came to that knowledge. Ah. Well.

I mean, until now we don’t know how Natsume saved Katai.

Dazai then went on to say that Fitzgerald will declare war on them again so this + the yacht are the last friendly gestures they’re going to get from the Guild. Wonder what happens to Lucy and Poe now…

They totally could have asked for a Special Ability Permit in exchange for their services but okay Richard!

The victory afterparty. Kunikida and Katai were nowhere to be seen, so was Yosano. You know who else we haven’t seen? Hawthorne and Katsura. With Katsura, he could have been helped by Kunikida… who I believe is still mourning the deaths of the innocent children… They should really address that next chapter. Or whatever. As for our Winter Soldier, he’s either roaming around aimlessly or he was captured. Who knows? We don’t know how he got mind-controlled either (another Rat? or suffered a similar fate with Ivan…). But if his goal was to heal Mitchell, then Yosano is the perfect answer.

What else? Oh! Fuku wasn’t in the party too right? Meeting up with Natsume and Mori? I don’t know…  As you can see, I come up with various scenarios and get them wrong 75% of the time. I was being dramatic too over Elise even though I knew she’d come back, but… This was fast. Glad to see her again though!

Oops. I rambled enough. Those were my thoughts, more or less. As I’ve said, it was a fairly standard BSD chapter. Disappointing, but still has a lot of loose ends which can be neatly tied up in upcoming chapters. I know a lot of people liked how this chapter ended, but… I’m not one of them, I’m afraid. I hope to be more enthusiastic about future chapters.

[yumenosakiacademy]

Me.trocon 2017 Day 1

This is a diary for future me bc i like to keep my important memories preserved to read abt later n stuff! uh.. feel free to read if ya want i guess or ignore but it’s just me in-depth talkin abt what i did today n what happened to me, negative n positive! [peace sign] Cosplayed: Tsuka.sa Suou in his summer uniform

okay so i got mcdonalds for brunch at like 1 after i left my house and dad dropped me off to go get registered and all and after leaving registration to go get myself a Schedule, someone stopped me and said “oh my god can i take a pic of you?!” and i was so surprised that someone recognized who i was but i said sureso they pulled out their phone and they had a ku.ro k/iryu phonecase and i was like “!! KURO !!” and i talked w them (they were cosplaying the human lady from the ma.id dragon anime) and they had sooo many en.stars charms on their phone and i was like “oh my god you’re into en.stars” and i asked if they were doing okay in the event and they said their cards were too weak and that they only had 1 five star and i was like dude that sucks! but i had to rush to the UT panel so i said bye to them and they said they were gonna be shinkai on sunday so i’m looking forward to that!

so i went to the UT panel and things were kinda annoying bc some alt. au sans kept asking lots of questions and making commentary tly loudly and sometimes answering questions like they were part of the panel?? i think even the panelists were kinda annoyed of her... and she’d be like “aww un.dyne u didnt do my dare [mutter] but u did theirs!!” but i dont hav much to say abt this panel tbh

so i went to the bl.ack but/ler panel and apparently the original panelists didnt come so a group of bl.ack butler cosplayers (a ciel, seb, alois, and grell) along w two random girls and a Shiro ran the panel but usually the audience was talking over them bc everyone was kind of joking around and thngs were more chatoic and casual than a normal panel but i talked to the pidge abt random stuff and we talked abt their wig (which they took off bc it was itchy lol) and how we both didnt sleep much last night and we kinda became friends n talked a bit 

and then i left the BB panel and had a LOT of freetime so i walked around the dealers room/artist alley (mostly in search of ES merch) and i found a rei cosplayer and i was like “wow i like your UNDEAD itabag- wait ur cosplaying rei arent you?” and they were like “yea, casual rei haha” and i was like “HOLY FUC can i take ur pic......” and we talked abt en.stars for a sec n i was like “im cosplayin tsukasa!” n they were like “i See that” and i told them i was on the hunt for ES merch and they pointed me in the direction of the other side of the dealers room and said there was an idol table that had a box/boxes full of ES merch and the table was blaring idol music so it was Noticable and i was like “HOLY SHIT im gonna go get some charms thnk u” and had i not noticed that the rei n their friend seemed to be semi-busy i probably wouldve tried to talk abt ES w them for a while aa...

SO ANYWAY i found the idol table and there were 3 lil boxes of ES charms/buttons/etc and a box of i/7 charms/buttons/etc so i looked thru them and ALL THE STUFF WAS SO CUTE KRHNRGHB... but it took me abt an hour to look thru everything and pick out a natsume keychain and a mika christmas keychain but while i was there i was like.. bouncing to the loud idol music (they didnt play en.stars music but there was id.olmaster music i think and LL music) and the girl from earlier that took my pic (erin is her name i believe) and her friend and their other friend (?) who was umi came up to me and said hi again and looked at the charms (erin said she got a shu button and a lot of kuro merch tho, and she spent most of her money for the day lol) and i talked to them abt the things in the boxes and en.stars like which boys we liked or not (erin said she found ritsu annoying bc i showed her a ritsu keychain) and i gave erin and her friend lollipops and eventually left (the booth had 3 ES plushies and the 1st ES artbook w the cgs and va comments in it btw but i didt get those) and im debating going back to that table for a chiaki item or midori item.. maybe bc im tryna save up for a pillow or plushie i rly want

so i went back downstairs and saw the ann i first spotted near registration when i got inand i was like “oh!” but i sat down near them bc playing ES and putting my charms on my bag was more important and a lance asked me if i was yuki from tsu.ritama and i was like “nope! En.semble stars” and the shiro was like “OHH!!” and i asked the shiro n matt (they looked like matt but it might hav been a different character) if they were into en.stars and they said no sbut the matt said “all i kno is that eichi is Bad” and i was like “KJRGNRB YEA.. HES EVIL HES BAD YANNO THAT ;BABY BOY. EVIL.’ MEME? HES THE EVIL PART” and the lance kept laughing and i was like “he messed w ppl and kinda maybe emotionally abused someone hes No Good >:0″ but i told em that en.stars has a translation n stuff and then a serena helped me put my natsume on my bag 

and before i left i wanted a pic of the ann and akira but then i noticed there was a Makoto so i wanted to take their pic but after i did the makoto was like “YOURE COSPLAYING FROM EN.STARS ARENT YOU...” n i said yes and they squealed and said they were into ES and i hugged them and they showed me their mao itabag and apparently the ann and akira were into ES as well so we all laughed abt ES and i learned that makoto hates rei bc i said reis one of my best boys n makoto’s friend said she liked rei too and makoto groaned and i said “he’s hot!” and maggie (the friend) was like “yea!” and akira’s fav waskeito n he was like “i’d hug him. i’d kiss him. i’d spicy w him” and they were like “THOSE R GOOD UR VALID” when i said chiaki n ryu.seitai were my favs but apparently they had friends who loved chiaki too bc the akira mentioned it and we all laughed for a sec and makoto and akira said they were gonna be the tori n eichi at the en.stars panel on satudrday and i screeched and ann called over a DAN!akira she spotted (i took a pic of him earlier) and so he joined our lil hangout group and we all spotted a Joker akira so ann was like “...if i yell ‘akira’ ya think hell come over here” so i was like “let’s all yell it on 3″ so ann, DAN akira and i all yelled “AKIRA!!!” in unison and he came over and took some pics w the others n took a pic of me and i took a pic of him then he left but the DAN akira stayed and i gav makoto, ann, and DAN akira lollipops and we all hung out and ann and the umi from earlier (who was apparently their friend) danced to LL songs bc ann started dancing to em for us and before that the akira and makoto left and eventually the akira left until it was just ann, umi, and i w them dancing and i spotted my irl friend lynds so i said hi bc she was playing cards w her friendgroup then i said goodbye to ann and umi bc i wanted to find the wataru they mentioned they saw (erin mentioned it earlier too)

and so i walked around 4 a minute b4 the next UT panel and didnt find the wataru but oh well so i went to the 2nd UT panel and it was still p boring and the annoying chick from earlier was still there and some girl behind me was loud n had a handclapper toy they kept using and i hated it but w/e so after i left that, i wandered around a bit and eventually went to the phantomhive ball and mad.ame red (who was an ichigo earlier in the day who helped the ppl do improv for the BB panel for a sec b4 they had to leave) saw me and we kept talking and i was like “is this.. an actual ball or a Panel” and they said a ball so i was like “oh god” but they were rly sweet to me and tightened my tie and we talked abt our previous cons and who we’re gonna cosplay tomorrow and i also talked w their un.dertaker until the doors to the panel opened but un.dertaker n  stood in the corner n i didnt wanna slowdance so i called dad to pick me up, wandered around the con n played ES, then left at like 10 pm!

[akitania]

qserasera replied to your post “For the meme a little post: Natsume Yuujinchou? :3”

excellent hinoe picture!!! & the tiny exorcist interactions :'') how can u be intimidated by a Scary Clan Head when you basically had a snacktime with them once and saw them drink juice with a little sippy straw?? i do not know. also curious about your not understanding natori comment from ch 72, ch 80 altho i don't remember reading those in a while)

epiphenomenal replied to your post “For the meme a little post: Natsume Yuujinchou? :3”

as someone who was intrigued by natori in ch72-73 and ch80 and is interested to see where midorikawa-sensei takes him next, i too would be curious as to how those chapters changed your understanding of him!

@qserasera i fully blame the backstory chapters for matoba’s extended leave of absence from the plot, barring chapter 77. when i die, my soul will be weighed against the number of times i have thought i hope there’s another matoba chapter soon.

re: natori - manga spoilers (chapter 72 on) under the cut

as far as 72-3 and 80 go, they just force a bit of a reset on how i perceived natori. not that he’s changed, but the status quo in his appearances has. it’s no longer about the question of what will happen if he finds out about the book of friends, and more about what he’s planning now that he knows.

he’s clearly not happy that natsume has it (nor that it exists at all!) but, being natori, it’s a bit opaque beyond that. i’ve speculated on why exactly he’s opposed to it, beyond the general fact that such a powerful tool shouldn’t exist in the first place. how much is he motivated by his worry for natsume’s well-being vs his other concerns? and how much has he re-evaluated his old modus operandi of “help natsume by lying to him/going behind his back”?

it really ups the tension of their relationship, and i love any time the plot takes a shift like this, but i’m very much wondering where things will go next.

anyway, here’s a very cute panel from chapter 80:

[tl-notes]

Kobayashi’s Maid Dragon Episode 5 Notes

Miso soup has extremely strong associations with home and family in Japan. It’s a staple of breakfast and dinner tables, especially when paired with rice (which is common, to say the least), and is a very traditional dish with a long history. 

It’s such a big deal, even, that the question “I want to eat the miso soup you make every day,” is a stereotypically Japanese marriage proposal.

When I say “stereotypically Japanese,” I mean that Japanese people see it that way. The Japanese language and culture tend to be pretty “indirect” compared to others (particularly English, which everyone in Japan spends years in school studying), and people in Japan are very aware of this. A common example given in schools is the famous translation by Natsume Souseki, where he translated the phrase “I love you” in an English text to “The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” in Japanese.

Anyway there’s some context for this scene, and in particular the choice of miso soup as the dish Kobayashi commented on.

You’ll notice they have at least four umbrellas there. It’s easy for those cheap vinyl ones to pile up when you have to do a bunch of walking (even just to/from the train station); you can’t just keep one in the car, and if it starts raining on a day you didn’t bring one...

By the way, in case you were thinking “four for three people isn’t that many though,” she had a different four in episode one, even before Tohru showed up:

Also: man, that before&after. Good for you Kobayashi ;_;

She says “aitsura あいつら” here, meaning they not she; basically Kanna, at least, is being included here.

These shows totally exist, they look exactly like this, and they literally have done this topic. In fact, this specific topic is a common one, with the list being updated every so often. “Wide show” is actually the name of this type of show, a subset of the infamous “variety show.”

Number one is “Kabe-don” (kabe = wall, and don = sound effect for like “slam/bang”). Originally the word was (and still is) used to refer to when people in the next room over would bang on the wall to politely inform you that you’re being too fucking loud it’s after midnight already god damn. 

In the past few years though, the word caught on as a meme, referring to a common situation that pops up in shoujo manga a lot, where the(/a) love interest would do this:

to the heroine. This specific usage of the term was seemingly coined by voice actress Shintani Ryoko (Sae from Hidamari Sketch) in 2008, while she was trying to explain the act on a radio show when discussion “moe situations”.

Kabe-don’s popularity seems to have died down some lately though (since honestly it’s pretty awkward irl).

The others are pretty self-explanatory I think, though it’s perhaps worth pointing out that yes, these are all things you actually can find on these lists. If “holding hands in public” sounds way too normal/basic to be on one to you, well, welcome to Japan.

(To be fair it’s not like super rare or anything, just not as common as you’d expect in many other countries and kind of considered a little embarrassing, particularly for men.)

Another semi-recently popular one of these “moe whatevers” is ago-kui 顎クイ, basically “chin tug/pull”, where the kui-er grabs the kui-ee’s chin to pull their face closer or whatever (often as a precursor to a kiss, for example). It’s a common pair with the kabe-don. 

Basically the takeaway here is that Japan’s been making memes real since way before 2016 came along.

The word for “pursue love” here is kyuuai 求愛, which is probably most commonly used when referring to the mating calls/rituals of animals (as seen by how Tohru likens the audience/panel squeals to bird cries). You can use it with people too, but it’s not exactly very conversational language.

Lol.

Also yeah “Tatsumi 辰巳” has that dragon zodiac kanji in it again. By the by, while there’s no Tatsumi-cho in Tokyo, there is just a “Tatsumi.” It’s by Tokyo Bay, within walking distance of Comiket-host Big Sight and the life-sized Gundam statue, and roughly where a lot of March Comes in Like a Lion is set.

These fish flags/wind socks (they’re koi, trying to climb the waterfall and become dragons, i.e. Magikarp) are traditionally put up on Children’s Day, May fifth. Yet another way Kyoani uses these establishing shots to tell you what season it is and invoke certain associations.

You’ll see this “48 ___ skills/techniques” thing a fair bit in Japanese media; it’s a reference to the 48 Killer Techniques of Kinnikuman/Ultimate Muscle (I think that’s as far back as the reference goes, anyway).

Yes, the name of the store in the background has one of the dragon kanji in it’s name (the lower portion of 籠, 龍).

Yeah this is what most Japanese office workplaces look like; open office plans. It’s kind of stressful having no privacy like that, but it does make it easier to ask people stuff I guess.

The “proper” version of this word is sumimasen すみません, basically meaning sorry/excuse me. What he says is saasen サーセン, a rather colloquial version of it. It kind of goes like: sumimasen → suimasen → sunmasen → saasen.

This sort of thing is quite common in Japanese, especially when there’s a set way you’re supposed to say something (as is common) that has a lot of syllables. Another example you might hear is arigatou gozaimashita being shortened down to azashita, typically at a convenience store or something, from an employee who’s busy with something else and just saying it because they have to.

What he says here is shou ga nai しょうがない. If you’ve ever picked up on how often “can’t be helped” or similar seems to be said in anime...this is what that is. It’s an incredibly common phrase in Japan, not just in anime but irl as well. It literally means that there’s nothing that can be done, and can be used in a broad swath of situations. It’s actually fairly similar to “oh well” in a number of cases.

Like above, it has several variations depending on how formal/informal you want it: shikata arimasen, shiyou ga nai, shou ga nai, shaanai, etc. etc.

Very minor nuance point, but she says she thinks dragons are superior (~が上, are “above”). “I think dragons are better” sounds, to me, more like indicating preference (”I like dragons better”), whereas the Japanese line has more of an observational tint to it (”Dragons appear to be superior”).

Again, minor and arguable point, but if I didn’t like to be pedantic I wouldn’t be writing these things.

Similar situation as the above, but I would say this is referring specifically to Kobayashi; more “she hasn’t noticed, has she?” than “no one.”

This is actual code, you can find it in places like here.

I like how the lint roller seems to have pink hair on it.

Also, just to restate, this is totally a Japanese everyworkplace and it is kind of giving me flashbacks.

The word for “abusing power” here is pawahara パワハラ, short for power harassment, another Japanese English-ism. It’s often paired with sexual harassment (sekuhara セクハラ) when discussing abuse in the workplace, and both are illegal. A common and particularly serious example of it is forcing people to work unpaid overtime at the threat of being fired.

Another nuance thing, but Saikawa here is not so much asking Kanna to draw her, but more expressing surprise, like “Wait you’re willing to draw me?”

Saikawa (才川)’s name, by the way, sounds like “the cutest” (最カワ). If you’ve heard of the Saimoe contests, it sounds like that but the kawa from kawaii instead of moe, a common sort of abbreviation.

Hmmm, I wonder what this could mean...

Ah.

You’re supposed to offer a drink to visitors in Japan, both to your home or to your office (like people from another company there for a meeting). I imagine that’s not exactly unique to Japan by any stretch, but as a custom it’s given more weight than in many others. A question of degree, I guess.

I’m sure there’s some reasoning behind the change in drinks from hot tea to orange-whatever, but who knows what. My guess is that it’s (possibly among other things) another way to show that the seasons are changing; it was cold the first time he came, so a hot drink, and warmer the second, so a cold drink. (Not to say there was a long time skip between the two necessarily, but of course the weather can change on a dime in spring, chilly one day and surprisingly hot the next.) 

The way he phrases this, o-tenami haiken to ikou ka お手並み拝見と行こうか。is some pretty fancy language. Nothing much to say about it specifically that the translation doesn’t convey, but just a general note that Fafnir regularly uses less conversational language than the rest of the cast (as you might expect from his demeanor) in ways the subs don’t necessarily make clear.

As an inverse example, this line from earlier:

“Shall we go home?” sounds sorta fancy, but the Japanese line, just “kaerokka 帰ろっか,” is casual as fuck.

This is one of those things that can be difficult when translating Japanese to English, as Japanese has many different ways of saying literally just the same word but with different levels of formality, where in English you have to come up with different ways to phrase it to try and capture both the meaning and the formality level. Possible, but often time-consuming.

A family registration, koseki 戸籍, refers to document proving, basically, your family tree. When the government, way back when, was deciding how to administer the population, they figured it would be easier to group people into family units and have the family choose a head of household that would both represent them and have responsibility for them.

So they created this family registry system, where everyone* is registered as a member of a family. The “head of household” thing isn’t so important anymore, but the registry still fulfils the role of birth/death certificates, keeps track of marriages/divorces/adoptions, is proof of citizenship, and is effectively a constantly-updated census.

There can only be one family name per koseki, so it’s impossible to get married and not change your last name (unless you happen to have the same last name already); one of the two must join the other’s koseki and take on that name.

*Everyone, who is a citizen that is. Foreigners who marry a Japanese citizen are listed on the registry, but are not officially part of it.

Note that you usually don’t actually need this necessarily to rent an apartment irl. Usually a juumin-hyou 住民票 covers it.

“But wait,” you ask, “why does it say proof of citizenship in the sub when she says juumin-hyou, if the koseki is the proof of citizenship and the family registration?” as I put several words in your confused and increasingly angry mouth.

Well, probably because either the translator wasn’t familiar with these minor details and isn’t paid enough to look them up, or they felt that would make more sense to the average viewer. 

A juumin-hyou 住民票 is actually a certificate of residency. It keeps track of your address and various other personal details (immediate family, social security number equivalent, birthdate, etc.). This one foreigners can get, assuming they have a proper visa, and is the one you’ll need to do most things like opening a bank account or signing a lease agreement.

Note that this thing means you’re required to fill out paperwork at city hall whenever you move, so they can keep it updated with your correct address.

A “personal seal” is a little stamp with your name, which is used like a signature would be in many other countries (i.e., for signing contracts and such). Make sure it doesn’t get stolen!

Often, people will have three of these that each have different levels of authority. The “real” one (jitsu-in 実印), for contract signing, must be registered with the government so they can prove it’s really yours. The “bank” one (ginkou-in 銀行印), registered with the bank upon opening a bank account (can be the same as the jitsu-in if you want it to be). And the “Amazon delivery” one (mitome-in or nin-in 認印), which isn’t registered officially anywhere, and is probably most often used nowadays when “signing” for a package delivery.

Of course, Tohru just magicked all of these into existence, because she can do that. Augh.

I know Fafnir. I know.

The kanji for Ooyama (大山) mean “big mountain,” and the kanji for Takeshi (猛) means basically “ferocious.” 

The building in the background here is a bank!

The building in the background here is a business that dispatches staff to support elderly people who can’t fully live on their own!

Another fairly minor point, but here she’s saying “I don’t think I’d call those feelings ‘regret’.” not “I don’t want to [...].” (だけど私はその気持ちを後悔とは呼ばないと思います). Not a big difference, but possibly an important one depending on how deeply you care to read into things.

The word here for “green,” ao 青, usually means “blue.” And in fact sometimes the “green” traffic lights in Japan actually are blue. However, up until relatively recently, the “ao” color word actually covered both blue and green (now midori 緑 is the usual word for “green”). This relative lack of distinction between blue and green is actually common in many languages.

As a random anecdote, a Japanese acquaintance of mine who was living in America once got pulled over for running a red light. Though their English was very good, they still got mixed up and kept trying to tell the police officer “I’m sorry I thought the light was blue,” which made for a very awkward talk.

This sign means Go. The game, not the verb. You know, this one.

The kanji for “money” (kane 金) is also the kanji for gold (usually “kin”).

Tadpole is another spring season word. 

Probably unrelated, but one Japanese variant of the saying “like father like son” is “the child of a frog is a frog.” 

The word for “psychic powers” (such as ESP) in Japanese is basically “super abilities.”

And the word for “magic trick” (at least, the one used here) is tenjina 手品, more like “hand trick” (in a literal sense, anyway). Magic trick is a perfectly good translation, but since they were just talking about how it wasn’t magic and clearly don’t know what a “magic trick” is, I just wanted to give some context as to why that line sounds less off(?) in the Japanese. 

Like in the last episode with cute/kawaii, Kanna says “kami” the first time and “god (goddo)” the second. You...probably noticed that, but yeah.

"To enter [into] your hand” (te ni ireru/hairu 手に入れる/入る) is an idiom that means to get/gain/obtain. Like in a Zelda game or something when you open a treasure chest and get an item, this is the phrase used. Or when someone is elected to a high office, they’ve “te ni ireru’d” themselves some political power. 

It’s a super common phrase, such that...and I hesitate to say this...I actually don’t think it was an intended pun(!). As in, I don’t think a native speaker would recognize that it was supposed to be one, even if it was intentional. It’s the kind of joke that’d be so painful you’d have a bunch of people gnashing their teeth about it online, and I haven’t been able to find any of that.

The word here is detarame でたらめ, which is closer to something like bunk, bullshit, nonsense, etc. “Fiction” feels a little too kind.

As mentioned in episode one, the kanji for waterfall (滝), minus the water radical (氵), is a kanji for dragon (竜). Conveniently, the water radical is cut off quite cleanly by the edge of the screen. What a strange coincidence. 

Their clothes both say “dragon,” just Tohru’s has the kanji for it (ryuu 竜) and Kanna’s has it in hiragana (ryuu りゅう), which is cuter/more childish.

Lol that they bought spoons just to practice with despite being able to easily fix broken ones with magic anyway.

Yet another small nuance thing, but Kobayashi’s line leans more toward a sort of “it’s alright if you just do the things only you can do.” Again, minor and arguable, but it’s the difference between saying it’s okay to do something versus saying you should do something. (original: トールにしか出来ないことをすればいいんだよ）

Lunches in elementary school are eaten in the classroom, and typically served (as seen) by the students themselves; whoever’s on duty. The meals themselves are made by professionals, of course, and tend to be pretty healthy. 

The “magic” she says here is actually the English word magic (majikku, rather), which in conversation is more likely to refer to magic tricks (similar to tejina above) than actual magic (which would generally be some variant of the Japanese word for it, mahou 魔法).

The stereotypical “hypnotism” item to swing in front of people in Japan is a 5 yen coin attached to string, rather than a watch. 5 yen coins have a hole in the middle, so it’s easy to tie a string to. Plus, they have a cultural connection to sort of supernatural stuff already; they’re a favorite for making donations at shrines and such because “five yen” (五円) is pronounced “go-en,” which is the same as a word for basically “fate” (ご縁).

Episode One Notes

Episode Two Notes

Episode Three Notes

Episode Four Notes

[mysticdragon3md3]

Loot from Anime Los Angeles 2017, this past weekend.  ^_^

-  Sengoku Basara The Last Party artbook -  Nendoroid Emiya Shirou -  badge ribbons -  Ranma 1/2 keychain figures -  commemorative hotel room key -  [S.H. Figuarts Bruce Lee for my cousin]

ALA is a relatively small convention---despite the con growing exponentially and my brother and I meeting I guy who thought the con was *enormous*!  (We had to tell him about Anime Expo right then and there.  ^_~  Spreading the word!)  So since ALA is smaller, with less shopping options, I tend to waste my money on a bunch of stuff I didn't have an "undying need" for, just so a lack of loot doesn't make my con results feel empty.  

Still, I had kind of wanted that Sengoku Basara artbook...!  *o*  It is the last artbook I needed from Production I.G.'s 2009 Basara series, after all.  Anyway, I went into this con expecting to not find anything I would want to buy, so I had decided beforehand that I should blow money on this artbook...which I had seen and passed up at Animebooks.com's booth, at every con that I had attended for the past year or so.  So I was shocked to find that their booth at ALA2017 did not have the one artbook that I was determined to throw my money at.  Fortunately, after asking one of their clerks about the book, they said they would bring it to the con, the next day.  ^_______________^!  Thank you, Animebooks.com booth!  ^u^  Not only that, but the book turned out to be waaaaaaay under the $60 that I was expecting from artbooks these days.  Sure, artbooks cost around $35 back when I collected them avidly, but the last time I tried to get back into artbooks, the Claymore artbook I wanted was $60.  x_x  But this Basara artbook was only $45!  ^v^!!!  And soooooooooo many drawings of Sanada Yukimura and Date Masamune...!  *u*  Even more so than the artbook for the TV series' 2 seasons, I think.  o.o  It was beautiful, from a favorite series, and a great buy.  I thought it would be all I needed from this con.

But then I ran into Nendoroid Emiya Shirou once again.  When I first saw his pre-order announcement, I thought his outfit would look great on my Nendoroid Date Masamune &/or Sanada Yukimura.  But I had already bought 8+ Nendoroids of characters I didn't know, just to give DateSana wardrobe options.  @u@;  So I had been telling myself to avoid Nendoroid Emiya Shirou.  ...But I wasn't spending my money on much else at the con...and his outfit is really versatile...and his elbows have joints for more posing options in figure photos and figure comics...  So I caved.  x_x;  I was hinting for my brother to talk me out of it, but he didn't catch on.  Then 10 minutes before exhibit hall closed, when he asked me if he could borrow all my money for 2 S.H. Figuarts figures, I blurted out, "Aw, I was thinking about getting Nendoroid Shirou...", and he decided to leave me with my money and sped off to buy just 1 S.H. Figuarts.  No going back now.  Now I had to get Nendoroid Shirou, or denying my brother 2 figures would have meant nothing.  So at the very last minute on the last day, I went to my usual, reliable GSC partner, and threw down the $40 for Shirou.  (Not a bad price for a 2-year-old Nendoroid.)  The clerk almost got Emiya Shirou, but then thought better of it and almost grabbed No Game No Life's Shiro instead.  "No, the other Shirou.  The one with the last name," I laughed.  I actually already have No Game No Life Shiro, and I can understand why any clerk would think I meant her.  She's beauuuuuuuuuutiful.  *.*  But Shirou Emiya is going to be awesome for my DateSana figure photos.  Especially that blushing embarrassed face on Yukimura...!  LOL

There's a story behind the Bruce Lee figure too, probably more so because I didn't get it for myself.  But it wasn't a simple matter of my cousin telling me he was interested it in and asking me to buy it, like you usually hear from people shopping for friends during cons.  About 2 months ago, I had gone to Bluefin's warehouse sale in Anaheim.  Bluefin is the official US distributor for Bandai's Tamashii Nations figures.  I snapped photos at that warehouse, akwardly for an hour, with hardly anyone else there, and all the clerks' eyes on me, while waiting for my friends/family to reply to my social media posts, to tell me if they wanted me to pick up something for them.  But it wasn't until several hours after the warehouse sale that my cousin saw the posts and asked me to get the S.H. Figuarts Bruce Lee for him.  Not that long ago, I had gotten him his first high-end figure: Figma Bruce Lee.  He joked that the way I was giving him tips about figure maintenance and spotting bootlegs, implied too strongly and unrealistically, that he would be getting more high-end figures.  So I thought, "He must be happy with just one Bruce Lee figure.  Surely, he's not interested in the S.H. Figuarts which looks almost exactly the same as the Figma."  Wrong.  "Ooh!  Another Bruce Lee figure!  Can you get that one for me?  I'll pay you back!"  -.-; "Another".  What a dark hole of figure collecting I've dragged my loved ones into.  x_x;  It was $10 more at ALA2017, than the price at the warehouse sale, but he was still ok with it.  And when my brother and I returned from the con, the package of 2 yellow track suit S.H. Figuarts Bruce Lee figures had just been delivered; to be split between my brother and my cousin.  ^^;  I don't know if I'm proud of my cousin for his 3rd high-end figure, or if I should be ashamed of the #walletdying I've introduced him to.

Also out of nowhere, I found these adorable Ranma 1/2 chibi keychain figures.  ^o^!!!  Where is this revival of Ranma 1/2 merchandise coming from?  I know that Bandai Tamashii Nations is in the midst of releasing some S.H. Figuarts (and an Figuarts Zero Genma) figures for Ranma 1/2, but I didn't think other companies would make merchandise too.  Does...Does that mean there's some kind of Ranma 1/2 reboot or new OAV or a Rumiko Takahashi event on the horizon?!  *O*!!!!!!!!  That would be great!  (Because that live action Ranma 1/2 special from 2011 wasn't exactly the reboot I was looking for.  ^^; )  Anyway, usually keychain figures look derpy, even when they aren't bootlegs.  But these were so astonishingly cute-faced that I had to shell-out the cash for them.  

The rest of my loot is some con memorabilia: commemorative hotel key and badge ribbons.  The theme this year was "pirates", so even the lanyard was smudged up like an old treasure map.  I usually don't actively hunt down ribbons, a few always seem to find me.  First, some figure collector-related ribbons that my brother gives out. Then, from attending panels.  That's usually all the ribbons I get.  But this year I checked out the con's manga library and they gave out these adorable "Shhh" ribbons!  ^.^  Then while walking around, assuming that Natsume's Book of Friends might be too obscure of a series for anyone to recognize my Hiiragi cosplay, a mysterious girl gave me a Triforce ribbon because she loved Natsume Yuujinchou and Hiiragi.  ^-^  As the day progressed, I was glad that so many people recognized my cosplay, because it meant they knew Natsume Yuujinchou.  It was nice to chat about Natsume and commiserate over how no one seems to know the series, even though it's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD and even getting a SIXTH season!  How come this series isn't more popular!?!  Or at least well-known?!  (Truthfully, I'm a little glad, because I'm shy, even though I cosplay.)  But it's such a good series!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ^O^!!!  

Well, I think those are all the stories attached to my ALA2017 loot.  It'll be fun to look back on this in a few years and relive the con memories.  

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Mikan (pt. 27)

Mikan and company are journeying to the past so Mikan can make an informed decision on how to act going forward. This journey will be emotionally taxing, to put it lightly, but she will learn a lot, both about her parents and about her connection to her friends and especially to Natsume. After all, she and Natsume are the "fated pair," aren't they?

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Chapter One Hundred and One

Mikan and the others are prepared to time travel now, with Mikan determined to make her own decision after getting her parents’ story. Before Noda fully takes them away, Yuka bursts into the room, calling after Mikan. 

Mikan is only vaguely aware that someone is calling out to her, thinking that the voice is both foreign and familiar. In no time at all, they’re time traveling and Mikan is freaking out about it, completely in awe at the experience.

A couple of heartbreaking panels.

Again, just like before, I am confused and uncertain about the role of relative telepathy during time travel. They seem to be aware of each other’s thoughts and telepathy is mentioned from time to time, like now with Hotaru complaining about Mikan having a noisy mind, but there’s not a clear explanation (at least not in the English scans). I’m doing my best with the resources I have, friends.

I mention this because it might be relevant later.

Ruka brings up the person who called out for Mikan and Noda suggests it was Yuka, who was likely listening the whole time and heard Mikan’s angry refusal. Mikan’s loyal friends admonish him for being so indelicate with Mikan’s feelings. She has some defense attorneys here, which is lovely.

We discover next that Mikan’s father was the former SA teacher, the occasionally alluded to “Sensei” that Mikan has heard so much about before, and that Yuka was Noda’s classmate in the SA class. Mikan’s strong feeling of connection to the Sensei/Yuka graffiti in the SA classroom is justified now. That bond was real all along. 

This trip to the past is huge for Mikan because she’s finally getting the answers she’d always wanted but never imagined getting. She’d always wanted to feel connected to her parents, to know about the family she never had outside of Jii-chan. Though she doesn’t particularly like Yuka right now, this is still a great chance for her and she’s not taking it for granted.

A preview for us to get a little hooked on this very long arc.

This first little moment in the past is like a trailer for the things to come. Mikan gets to see her mother at five years old, when she first enters the academy, and then there's little skips around, seeing glimpses of people who played a role in Yuka’s life. A preview for things to come, to keep both Mikan and us (since Mikan has always been a stand-in for the audience anyway, mostly) hooked for the next chapter.

From now on, I will be skipping through chapters. I find it boring to comment on Mikan’s occasional facial reactions to Yuka’s life. I will only be commenting on actual conversations and actions, because that’s way more interesting to me. Moving on!

Chapter One Hundred and Two

I’m just here to further elaborate on one of my last points, Mikan’s joy at finally being able to “meet” her parents, in a sense.

She is introduced to her father, a silly and good-hearted young man who wants to help the students at the academy and make the school a great place for kids along with his brother. Mikan tears up at this. Her whole life, her parents have been enigmatic stars in the sky, too far for her to reach, too mysterious to know. But she can see him now, can hear Hotaru say they’re a lot alike, can see his smile and hear his voice in a way she never imagined before. That’s her father, her family, a part of herself she never had the privilege of knowing. 

She had wondered about him her whole life, had--as I’d discussed at the very beginning of this essay--a complicated relationship with ghosts because of her feeling of connection that one night at a festival so long ago. He’s been there, every now and then, to protect her, to connect with her, but only ever through a distant veil. And now she can see him. 

I'm crying too. Damn.

Noda comments that Mikan has the best traits from both her parents, and that her personality gave him someone to believe in, a person like sunshine. It’s a nice thing to say anyway, but Mikan likes being compared to her parents because it makes them more real. Just like she always liked hearing comparisons between herself and the mysterious SA teacher before she even knew he was her father, she likes hearing it even more now.

Chapter One Hundred and Seven

We take a short intermission from Yuka’s sad life to see Mikan and her group reunite with Tono, Nobara, and even Tsubasa, who has gotten to know Yuka during his MIA time. She inserted the time travel alice inside him, which is why he’s able to join them now without Noda’s help. He’ll be able to help keep them stable going forward. 

Mikan is relieved and ecstatic to see her senpai again, understandably, since she had been so worried about losing him. She cries in his arms, only separating to finally talk to Nobara, who she hasn’t really gotten the chance to chat with since before the New Year’s Arc. She apologizes to Nobara that she was forced to make such a bold and dangerous choice for her sake earlier that night, and Nobara--like Hotaru--quickly denies that Mikan did anything wrong. 

Been a while, hasn't it...

With the reunions out of the way, Tsubasa has a chance to talk about his experience with Yuka. He shares that he knows what this trip of theirs is about and tells Mikan that, while the choice is definitely up to her, he can’t see Yuka as a bad person. He then asks her what she thinks of Yuka so far, putting her on the spot. Mikan is struck by that question.

Again, I’d mentioned this before, specifically in regards to Yuka, but Mikan is quick to come to a decision about whether or not a person is good or bad. The people she meets are immediately sorted into such categories, and it’s not easy for her to change her mind. When she sees the good, that’s all she focuses on. Hotaru is a great example. Mikan tolerates all the bad and insists on Hotaru being amazing simply because, in her point of view, the good outweighs all the bad. Hotaru can be cold, easily annoyed, detached. But Mikan tolerates this because she has a deep understanding of Hotaru’s positive traits, which, in her mind, are far more important. 

Natsume is a more interesting example because she hated him initially. While most of her friends are people she saw from a good angle all along, Natsume is someone she came to like more over time. She met him and was immediately introduced to the negatives. In fact, that’s all he wanted her to see. But every time she was given a hint that there was something more, she looked deeper until he seemed to be a more complete image of a person. I don’t think Mikan views Natsume as perfect, but the good--again--far outweighs everything else.

A loaded question.

Yuka is someone Mikan swore she could never forgive. She hated Yuka for hurting her friends and for being part of the evil Z organization. But real people aren’t so easily sorted into good and bad. Z is for the most part a deceptive organization that touts itself as a freedom fighting group while also participating in vile activities like child trafficking and slavery. Yuka is a part of that, albeit reluctantly. She has done bad things and has earned Mikan’s anger. But Mikan has just now witnessed Yuka’s suffering, her hardships. She’s not even close to understanding it all quite yet, but even what she’s so far seen is enough to challenge her previous prejudices.

Is Yuka truly unforgivable? Is she really nothing more than a person who has hurt her friends?

Chapter One Hundred and Nine

In this chapter we are finally introduced to Igarashi Kaoru, who remains elusive for a while. Mikan thinks she looks familiar but can’t place how she might have seen her before. Mikan is intuitive enough--she can see there’s a connection to make, like always, but can’t completely connect the dots. Even as Kaoru further interacts with Yuka, Mikan remains clueless though everyone else can tell that she must be Natsume’s mother.

Yuka is brought to Himemiya and Kaoru confronts her by scaring the shit out of her--but essentially gives her the message that she should believe in herself and focus on trying instead of making excuses. “Be a woman,” basically. Noda reveals that Kaoru was a key figure in Yuka’s life, who gave her strength and support and ended up her best friend. She even gave her more confidence in her alice through this particular encounter with Himemiya.

I think that parallels nicely with Mikan’s own lack of confidence in her alice and Natsume’s role in making her feel useful. Though Kaoru’s own alice has little to do with Yuka’s, it’s still predominantly Kaoru’s influence that helps Yuka feel more confident, like she can do good with her alice. Meanwhile, I do think the relationship between Mikan’s alice and Natsume is a bit more profound, but ultimately, it’s due to him that she feels like her alice can be useful. It’s just a similar theme, one generation apart. Very interesting.

She's so stupid. It's fine.

It’s only when Noda tells Natsume that his mother has always been beloved by many people that Mikan finally gets it. Her mom and Natsume’s mom were best friends, unbeknownst to the both of them.

Chapter One Hundred and Ten

Mikan is shocked by this revelation. That’s quite a coincidence (until you realize that kids like Ruka, with non-Alice parents, are the rarity and that there are probably many more familiar surnames at that school in this moment in the past… the Academy has a small student body because being an alice is rare, and most Alices marry other Alices and spend their school years entirely surrounded by the same Alice classmates… It’s not that weird a coincidence that Yuka and Kaoru met… that their bond never broke and that Natsume and Mikan met and fell in love after… maybe that’s a little more strange). 

Mikan knows that Natsume’s mother passed away, and she feels even more empathy towards him. This is a mother he never really got to know, just like she never got to know her father. This time trip is just as much a benefit for him to connect with his family as it is for her. For both of them, snapped strings they get to mend.

You and me both, Noda.

Noda further explains that Kaoru used her alice as an investigative journalist, trying to uncover more information about the ESP and the corrupt academy. He claims Yuka must have been inspired by Kaoru’s work, leading her to joining Z in the fight against the ESP. 

I’ll talk about fate again, though I only mentioned it in the tags of Natsume’s corresponding essay.

There’s talk of red strings, of being fated, with even Noda musing on the mystery of it all. And it is a huge coincidence. I’ve discussed fate a little in this essay too, saying that while I do think fate plays a role here, it’s inextricably tied to agency and choice, particularly on Mikan’s end. Fate united them, but they would only work if Mikan was Mikan and Natsume was Natsume. Fate put them in each other’s orbit, you might say, but their own choices led to where they are now. Nobody made either or them fall in love, except for the other. Just like Natsume fell in love because of who Mikan was, Mikan fell in love with who Natsume was. 

The cosmic influence here is the connection between two generations, the coincidence of Mikan, who was purposefully kept far away from the academy, winding up enrolled despite her indetectable alice, winding up meeting Natsume, the son of her mom’s best friend.

Fate and soulmates and destiny are hard things to define, and I’m not sure I believe in them in real life. But this is fiction, and fate is the author, and Natsume and Mikan were always meant to be together.

Mikan and Natsume hold hands, staring at each other, both wondering about their bond. Though Natsume has already said his piece, Mikan hasn’t given us much insight into her own thoughts, particularly in regard to Natsume, and this moment is no different. It could be that this new information is blindsiding her, overwhelming her even further. In any case, I believe Mikan’s head is a mess but that she knows deep down what she feels. Though that’s for us to figure out. 

Conclusion

Mikan's journey to the past is all about connection, not just with the parents she thought were lost to her, but also to her friends and especially to Natsume. Tomorrow (or whenever I post next), I'll wrap up the Time-Travel Arc, which is even further about Mikan's connection to Natsume. She will remain nonverbal about her feelings for him for the duration of this long arc, but her reluctance to actually speak will prove to be critical (I was not just bringing it up all this time just to fill up space, I promise!)

This arc can be pretty fun to analyze, actually. I hope it's fun to read. Thanks and see you next time!

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[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Mikan (pt. 16)

Hey guys. What's up? Long time no post.

Last time, we began one of the most exciting arcs in the manga, the Hanahime Den Arc (aka the New Year's Arc, aka the Discovering Natsume Arc, aka the Flower Garden Association Party Arc, aka That One Arc With Aoi In It, aka the Natsume/Ruka Backstory Arc... Really whatever you wanna call it). Today we'll continue exploring that arc, particularly one incredibly important theme that means the world to me regarding Mikan's very sweet feelings for Natsume.

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Chapter Fifty-Six

The kids dress up. Hotaru and Mikan are wearing very feminine kimonos for the event. Ruka is relieved that his and Natsume’s kimonos aren’t furisode, but they are both still self-conscious. (I wish I could comment more on this in a specific way, but I’m not versed in Japanese traditional wear to the point where I can say what looks more masculine and feminine. I am very western in this way. Serbian folk costume is more or less: dress=feminine, pants=masculine. I’m learning more and more but for now, whenever I see these chapters, I just think, “Wow, these clothes are so pretty!!” and that’s about it. Anyway I loVE folk costume. I’m obsessed with all cultures’ folk costumes.) 

In any case, Mikan is quick to comment on how good they look, specifically commenting that Natsume doesn’t look as much like a drag queen as she’d expected (ahh… 2000s humor. RIP). This is "supposed to be a compliment," but he doesn’t take it as one. Mikan gets angry that she got him angry and swears that she’ll let his hand go as soon as they get to the party. That page alone has some intriguing panels. There’s one of angry Natsume, one of angry Mikan, and one of them snuggling! Bizarre! I like to think that this means Mikan is still thinking about it. She may be angry, but she’s still fixated on that moment, perhaps still concerned about his cryptic words. How sweet.

But she won't let go of his hand now, of course. Just later.

Narumi escorts them to the party, warning them not to do anything rude because the MSP is capricious. Even the smallest slight could offend her. This is as much a warning to us as it is to the kids. We will see MSP’s capriciousness soon for ourselves. In fact, the next page features the MSP mourning the fact that boys will be allowed in her palace against her wishes, only for her flower princesses to offer to create a fun diversion for her. Mikan isn’t present for that scene, but it’s important because we can see that the MSP is indeed so capricious that Mikan was destined to be bullied and mistreated before she’d even arrived in time to do anything offensive.

They arrive at the palace and it truly is a palace, much bigger than the middle school building and dorms combined. Mikan is awestruck by everything she sees, by Yamanouchi Shizune’s impressive appearance, the huge building, the party full of incredible decorations--she’s definitely the most visibly impressed. 

I think it’s important that Mikan is not just the most childish character in the manga, but a “tactless hick” as well. Mikan grew up in the country, lived in a tiny village and went to a small school. There were no huge buildings or extravagant parties, nothing impressive for the culture fests. Mikan is easily impressed, not just by the fantastical alice elements of this new world (like we are too), but by everything new. It’s not just the alice world that’s new to her; everything is. Furthermore, she refuses to be quiet about her amazement. Whenever she likes something, she says it out loud and proud. No, she’s not the most polite girl, but she is so positive and upbeat. Mikan is not just our Alice in Wonderland, a character through whom the reader discovers a new world. She’s a character in her own right.

The group has to pass the middle school girls’ party on the ground floor before ascending to the Hanahime Party upstairs. As they move, they overhear a lot of gossip. All of them get a little annoyed having to listen to it, but the gossip thrown at Mikan is perhaps the worst, and a precursor to the way she’ll be treated by the flower princesses upstairs: she’s just an ordinary girl, plain and boring and unimpressive--so how on earth did she get invited??

They ALL get somehow targeted by these whisperings... so rude. Though I doubt Hotaru is very offended by a reputation of being "beautiful but strange."

I like Mikan being unimpressive on the outside because it’s honestly exhausting to see every single female protagonist in media being gorgeous and brilliant in every way, an independent and beautiful trailblazer! GA already has characters like that, who are beautiful or smart or both. Mikan doesn’t have to be smart or pretty to be important. The boys who like her are interested in her because of her kindness and excitable nature, not because of her beauty or intelligence. So this occasional outside commentary on Mikan being ordinary makes me happy. They assume that because she’s not gorgeous or academically impressive like Hotaru that there’s no reason why she should stand out. And yes, it’s true that Mikan was not invited because the MSP was impressed by her. No, she was invited because Natsume is impressed by her, because her invitation was a way to lure him in. She is important, even if it’s not in a way that’s instantly valued by the gossipy middle school girls at the party.

The gossip almost gets to her, but seeing Nobara in the crowd cheers her up. Mikan has met Nobara only three times so far. They spent a few hours together at the Christmas Prep, I assume, and that sort of time can get people close, but it’s still impressive that they have such a close bond after so few meetings. And even though Nobara seems obsessed with Mikan, it’s important to note that Mikan always seems just as excited to see her. She loves giving and receiving affection, so even though Nobara's obsession might seem bizarre to anyone else, Mikan welcomes the attention and never judges her for it. But Natsume yanks her back before they can rush to each other.

Nobara is horrified that Natsume is there, demanding to know why Natsume is here at all and then telling Mikan that he shouldn’t be here, that she should stop him. The whole hand-holding thing has been weird to Mikan from the start, but she just assumed he was up to some stupid sadistic trick. His weird comment about the ruse ending soon was a red flag that something else might be going on, but because Natsume never explains anything, she couldn’t really come to any new conclusions. Nobara’s warning here is just another alarm that something about Natsume’s behavior isn’t just annoying--it’s concerning. Nobara is genuinely frightened for Natsume and that comes across in her warning to Mikan, even if Mikan can’t linger to chat about it.

Mikan dragged Natsume around earlier without him complaining so I guess it's only fair he'd drag her around now.

Thus Mikan will keep Nobara’s warning in mind. No matter how quickly she seems to recover from serious or concerning topics, Mikan always remembers them. Nobara’s warning is important in another way too, because Misaki overheard her and made sure to relay the information to Tsubasa.

They finally arrive at the exclusive party to meet the Hanahime girls. Himemiya is beautiful. Mikan is always overwhelmed when around beautiful people, but she doesn’t forget Narumi’s warning, and her awe is staved off a bit by Himemiya’s bizarre behavior around Hotaru. She can be serious too! She doesn’t always get carried away. (Relatively…)

Chapter Fifty-Seven

Conveniently (or inconveniently, if you asked Himemiya), the Ruka mochi gang instantly separate upon entering the party. Perhaps the “ruse” of Natsume’s has reached its end, because he rips his hand away. Mikan rejoices at her freedom, but it’s short-lived.

Because she is singled out pretty instantly.

All of the flower princesses have pretty flower names. Hotaru is given one straight-away on account of being a candidate to become one of them. But the rest of the group get names too--Natsume and Ruka seem to be easily adopted by the flower princesses. It’s just Mikan and Youichi who are left out. 

I talked about the reasons why with Natsume’s essay but I’ll recap here. Himemiya is angry to have disgusting boys in her palace (she’s one of those... gross :P), and the flower princesses are trying to comfort her by entertaining her. This entertainment comes in the form of vicious bullying, something Himemiya doesn’t only tolerate--she encourages. (Himemiya is not "one of the good guys" in the way the HSP could be categorized as, even though she isn't necessarily "one of the bad guys" like the ESP.) There’s four candidates for bullying. Hotaru is obviously out of the question because she’s a potential flower princess herself, a beautiful and intelligent girl worthy of Himemiya’s attention and chosen as a candidate authentically, not because of outside pressures. That leaves the others, unfortunate cargo in Persona’s plan. I don’t think the flower princesses are privy to all the details in the plan, but the boys have obviously been permitted to come for a reason. Besides, they’re both very handsome, so the princesses don’t feel the desire to be cruel to them. Then there’s plain and ordinary Mikan, who didn’t deserve the invitation in the first place. What has she done to earn Himemiya’s attention? Nothing, really. She’s neither pretty nor intelligent, so the princesses write her off. She will be the one bullied by the princesses to entertain Himemiya. 

Youichi is collateral, but definitely not singled out the way Mikan is.

No, I'm not really a big fan of Himemiya. I don't really get how letting teenagers bully a little girl is "entertainment." Maybe that's just me.

They proceed to the banquet, where a feast awaits them. Mikan mentions that she hadn’t had any breakfast because she expected to eat a lot at the party. But she doesn’t really get to eat anything here either, because the princesses move all the food to the other guests, conveniently leaving Mikan with nothing to eat. The bullying isn’t actually subtle, though the princesses put on airs about it. They move the food in order to serve the others, which alarms Mikan, but it’s strange to think that the others didn’t pick up on it. 

When Mikan’s starvation is pointed out, it’s not because the princesses have noticed they’d made a mistake, it’s only to further bully her. If she’s not eating, it must be because her stomach hurts, so she should have some disgusting medicine.

The thing is that Mikan is still heeding Narumi’s advice. She’s trying to be on her best behavior, like he told her to be. We know that Mikan isn’t the type to let herself be bullied. She stands up for herself. She fights back. But fighting back here wouldn’t be in good form. She might just get further bullied. Additionally, she’s obviously not a princess candidate, but Hotaru is. If she acts out, it might reflect poorly on her best friend, potentially even robbing her of an opportunity she certainly deserves. So if you were wondering why Mikan doesn’t fight back or argue with these girls (when she's been bullied by far more threatening figures and never tolerated it), it’s because of that.

She’s pressured into drinking the medicine, meaning she won’t be able to eat for a while. She’s already hungry, now destined to get even hungrier, and she’s just consumed a foul “medicine.” If Nadeshiko’s comment is to be taken seriously, then the concoction is made of some truly sickening things, like frogs’ eyeballs and centipede legs. The medicine doesn’t cure sickness, it creates it. It also smells awful, so her friends don’t want to be around her, not even Youichi, who is also being left out a little (though not at all to the same extent). 

Next, they start playing some games, where the loser has to pay some penalty for losing. The thing is, Mikan stinks so she has to play further away and thus never stood a chance of winning. In no time at all, Mikan is defeated. She’s on her very best behavior but is being bullied anyway. Her face has been doodled on, she’s been made a fool of, she’s hungry and sick and smelly. Nobody is standing up for her. Everyone else seems to be having a much better time than her. 

It sure would be nice if someone were to... I don't know... actually call out the flower princesses for their behavior. Whatever.

Hotaru comes by with a wet towel, sure, but she’s decked out with an insulting gas mask and doesn’t stick around long. It’s obvious that her friends can see that she’s being mistreated, but they don’t do much to stand up for her. When the flower princesses brush aside the idea of inviting Mikan to play the next game, only Natsume stands up to leave. The others are obviously put off by it, but they don’t do much (that Mikan can see). 

Hotaru gets back at Nadeshiko (the main bully) through a prototype of a game, but the thing is that this tactic focuses more on humiliating Nadeshiko than helping Mikan. Nadeshiko is 1. touched that Hotaru chose her to play with, even if it makes a fool out of her, and 2. just toyed with a little. Meanwhile, Mikan watches from a distance and only sees everyone having fun without her. Teasing Nadeshiko doesn’t really help Mikan at all, and it certainly doesn’t stop Nadeshiko or the other flower princesses from bullying her even more. I'm pointing this out because this is Mikan's essay, so only her POV is relevant to me.

Mikan watches sadly, hungry and sick. She feels lonely, miles away from her friends, the only one who’s having a bad time. She misses her other friends, her senpais and her classmates. She wants to go home. Even though she’d been so excited to come here, it’s actually a terrible experience.

And then somebody puts a mandarin shaped chestnut kinton on her head. Natsume tells her to eat up. The orange shape is perfect for someone like her. Natsume is the only person who actually comforts and helps Mikan with her bullying. He sits beside her. He may downplay why he’s there, but he’s obviously here because he was concerned about her. He came to feed her because her stomach was growling. She reminds him that she smells, that everyone’s avoiding her. But Natsume tells her he’d rather be around her than smell the stupid perfumes of the Hanahime girls.

He chooses her. (And she will choose him.)

Hotaru’s tactic of getting back at Nadeshiko didn’t actually help Mikan feel better. But Natsume is making the choice to isolate himself with Mikan. They’re aligned now. Mikan and Natsume are outside of the system of fancy perfumes and shallow performances. She may have been excluded by force, but he makes it clear that he’d rather be left out with her than included with them. She’s more important than they are. Sure, they might bicker a little, but both Natsume and Mikan actually enjoy that and find it comforting, normal. 

And we’ve finally reached my favorite aspect of the NatsuMikan relationship. Yes, it’s been said a thousand times that Mikan is Natsume’s sunshine, that she brings light to his dark life, that she saved him and continues to save him. This is all true, but the more underappreciated side of it is that Natsume is Mikan’s sunshine too. 

Natsume is capable of making her sad and angry, yes. But he also has the tendency to make her forget all her problems. He makes her feel normal again, sparkly on the inside. She even says something to that extent here, commenting on how talking with Natsume always cheers her up. He “sees through” all her problems and then blows them away instantly. “He blew away my cloudy sky. Weird guy.”

He is her sunshine! My favorite part of their relationship!

Mikan is Natsume’s sun. Natsume is Mikan’s sun. They comfort each other, bring each other joy and solace, more than anybody else. 

It’s really awesome that Mikan makes Natsume happy. He has such a miserable life that he needs someone who can bring him joy. But there’s so much focus on his feelings that Mikan’s get overlooked. Despite how hard he tries to be unlikeable and to keep his distance, Mikan still cares about him. He still manages to make her happy, to cheer her up even when she’s being terribly bullied and excluded. 

He leaves to go to the bathroom, but she tells him to hurry back so they can eat together. 

Mikan has known Natsume for a few months now. She’s been very curious about him all along and has wanted to be his friend for a while. But he’s always so unpleasant and rude. Their relationship got to this point at a gradual pace. This is perhaps the first time that Mikan wants to hang out with him, alone, for as long as possible. Before, she felt uncomfortable even talking to him. She wanted to escape or find somebody else to talk to. Even just a few days ago, during the Christmas Ball, Natsume was the guy she settled for when she couldn’t find her other friends.

I really genuinely can't see how any other ship compares. In GA or otherwise. They will be always be number one to me. I just wish they'd gotten to eat together and chat a lil.

But now, she wants to hang out with Natsume. 

And Natsume specifically, because you already know how important that concept is to me. She's not settling this time, just because he's the only one willing to be around her right now. Instead, she's realized that being around him makes her happy, so why not eat together and hang out? They could be left out of the party together.

He brushes her off and insists she eat without him. 

Himemiya warns him though. If he wanders where he shouldn’t, he’ll be on his own to deal with the consequences.

The fourth red flag regarding Natsume’s presence here at the palace. Mikan is thoroughly worried about him now. She still doesn’t know why he even came here, but Nobara’s and Himemiya’s warnings as well as the cryptic way Natsume talked about the ruse all plant seeds of worry in her mind.

She’s distracted a little by the flower princesses’ phony apology. They pretend to feel bad and invite her to the kitchen to bring out the desserts, but there are no desserts. Mikan and Youichi are trapped in a dark room by themselves, locked up with nowhere to go.

Mikan is unworthy of her invitation. She should never have come here, as ordinary and unimpressive as she is. She is locked up now so she can think hard about how lowly she is compared to the others.

This is not Mikan’s first time being bullied, but there’s no way to get used to this sort of treatment. Mikan doesn’t actually think very highly of herself, and the frequent bullying she faces doesn’t really help. She doesn’t fully value her own alice, her appearance, her creativity, her great big heart or unwavering optimism. 

Mikan is alone with a toddler in a dark room. The only person who made her feel normal and happy all day is gone.

Chapter Fifty-Eight

The flower princesses accuse Mikan of cheating her way into getting invited. She demands to be released, but they leave her and Youichi on their own. She pleads for someone to figure it out.

She eventually runs out of energy. She feels especially guilty because Youichi was only locked in with her incidentally. Mikan is the one who is hated. Youichi just got punished because of bad luck. She apologizes to him, which seems to move him somehow. He offers to share some candy with her. It’s very sweet how their relationship has progressed. When she first met him, he refused to share his howalon with her, but now he’s offering his candy unprompted. 

But Mikan never gets to eat her candy because a mouse steals it. It’s for the best, though, because the candy was actually a Gulliver candy, and Youichi consequently aged ten years!

They’re eventually found by their friends, but only after Youchi kicks the door open for them. 

The flower princesses who bullied Mikan are to face punishment for their actions, potentially even being kicked out of the group. But Mikan tells them to forgive the girls, even despite the awful things she just went through. She said just a few minutes ago that she hated them, but I think that now that she’s out, she can see the situation more clearly.

Before, they couldn't see what could make Mikan special because she was neither gorgeous nor particularly intelligent. But now they love her because of how kind she is (though it might not be entirely kindness that motivates her here).

Natsume never sees the hype in this sort of thing. He thought this party was stupid and shallow, something they were both above. And then Youichi showed his kindness by offering his candy, even if it was Gulliver candy. The party that she’d wanted to go to so badly doesn’t really matter anymore. She doesn’t want to be a flower princess anymore. She has people who love her and want to spend time with her even if she might be "unworthy." They don't need her to prove herself, so how good could a group that does require a degree of "worthiness" be?

Additionally, Mikan is a kind, compassionate, and forgiving girl. The princesses did all this because they were protective of their group, because they love Himemiya. So she forgives them.

(Though I think just chalking all this behavior up to two girls being spoiled is letting Himemiya off a little easy. She was obviously entertained all along and will continue this arc acting in ways that benefit her own amusement more than any moral stance.)

And it’s only now, when the princesses can see past her average looks and unimpressive smarts to see what makes Mikan so amazing and special: her big heart. Now she is Mikan no Kimi! Yes, she’s only given a flower name after she stops caring about it. For a while now, she's been more interested in eating kinton with Natsume than getting a flower name.

But Shizune points out that even though Mikan surely didn’t cheat to get invited, it is suspicious that she was selected. Becoming Natsume’s partner, somehow, and now this--she must be special somehow. Mikan has been asked this and has wondered it itself since she first enrolled. She’s singled out and can’t tell Shizune why because not even she knows. Nobody tells her anything. 

And then Youichi reminds them all that Natsume is still missing. It’s only now that they get any semblance of an explanation for all this. Himemiya may be a freak, but allowing Natsume to attend was Persona’s doing. 

Another arc with emphasis on saving Natsume, who prefers to save others.

Persona, for some reason, is allowed free reign in much of Himemiya’s territory, particularly here where her barrier alice is strongest. What is certain is that if Natsume was lured here, then nothing good is waiting for him. 

Chapter Fifty-Nine

The flower princesses who bullied Mikan last chapter are now strangely protective of her after she forgave them. They insist that the group shouldn’t go after Natsume, but Mikan insists that they have to. She has a bad feeling that he might get hurt, and we know already from the Reo Arc that Mikan trusts her gut 100%. She didn’t think at all about consequences when going back for him then and she’s not thinking about the consequences of looking for him now. This isn’t optional.

Natsume has been acting strange all day. He wanted to come here, to look for something, and that’s strange because Natsume doesn’t ever want to do things. The fact that they’re being warned against going after him only makes her more concerned. Natsume’s already down there, probably in danger, so they have to go after him to make sure he’s safe. Luckily, her friends are all on her side. Hotaru, Ruka, and Youichi all take off with her, rushing to the basement. 

I know my analysis here is short but I actually really enjoy this chapter. It's just... not a lot of content for me to analyze.

They’re trapped in the bowels of darkness for a while, descending the stairs into the basement. They’re confronted by Hayate, on the DA class’s discipline squad. He is here to punish Natsume, but because some stragglers have joined, he’s been sent to take them out. The discipline squad is used to working against the effects of the strong barrier down here. The other kids aren’t. Thus, Hayate is at a significant advantage. He probably would win effortlessly, except that he catches sight of Hotaru and falls instantly in love with her.

Chapter Sixty

Hayate loses all interest in fighting them now that he’s seen Hotaru’s face. The others are incredibly confused by his complete 180 in behavior. They decide to just walk away if he’s not attacking anymore. He continues to pursue them, trying to hit on Hotaru, until they run into another discipline squad member, Rui. Rui came here, looking for a “cute guy.” He’s the one to recognize aged-up Youichi.

A fight ensues. Rui’s alice is incredibly dangerous and Youichi’s is the only match for it. 

Mikan wants to run, but Youichi tells her not to look.

And that’s not just him talking.

Mikan cares for Youichi, obviously, but it's interesting that so much of that care is related to her care for Natsume.

Mikan remembers all that she’s learned about the DA class from Reo, who described an organization that trains the children to be spies. There’s a darkness in this school and it manifests most powerfully in the DA class. Natsume looks out for Youichi, partly because nobody else does. After all, nobody looks out for him either. 

Mikan has already seen little glimpses of what Natsume’s regular life is like within the DA class during the Z Arc, when she watched him fight, be strategic, think like a soldier instead of a kid. Youichi is only three, though, and he seems just as used to fighting. And he’s telling her not to look. 

Because all the DA class kids are different from the rest of the school. They live a horrible, dark life, isolated from others because others won’t understand their experiences, because other kids bully them. Even a toddler like Youichi thinks in a way no child should, especially at three, that he needs to protect Mikan even if he gets hurt.

(Because Natsume told him to protect the others. That’s just how DA kids are.)

But Mikan doesn’t like that. Youichi almost gets hit by a surprise attack before Mikan tackles him, protecting him with her alice. Mikan doesn’t want to just sit back and be protected. She wants to do the protecting too, especially since her alice works best protecting others. The problem is that her alice is harder to use with this barrier, so she gets a little cut from Hayate’s alice. Rui recognizes her then as Natsume’s partner and taunts her that coming here was pointless because Natsume will be trapped in the dungeon forever.

Both Mikan and Ruka are horrified to hear that. Mikan remembers the ESP’s ominous warning on Christmas, that she should be careful not to lose anything important to her. It seems that the superstition might have some truth to it, because if Natsume gets locked up forever, then she’ll certainly be losing something important. 

She demands to know why Natsume would be locked up, but Rui doesn’t seem to have all the details. He mentions Natsume falling for stupid bait and coming to find his sister.

Wake up, babe! New Natsume lore dropped! (We already knew that, though.)

Ruka is obviously affected by this news, but he knows about Natsume already so that makes sense.

Mikan is surprised by this. She’d been so irritated with him but all of this had been his desperate effort to find his sister. Of course, he never told her that because he never tells her anything, so it makes sense that she’d be irritated with him. In any case, she’s entirely concerned now. Natsume is being punished, being called a criminal. He was lured here with rumors about his sister, who shouldn’t be locked up anyway. 

The point is that Natsume is here for a noble cause and he’s going to be punished, which is simply unfair. Mikan cares about him and doesn’t want to lose him because he matters to her. She was able to use an impressive amount of alice to keep Natsume at school with her, up to bat against the stealing alice threatening to take him away from her. She won’t let Persona take him either.

But Rui ramps up to punish them and move on, but he’s interrupted by Tsubasa arriving just in time.

Sixty-One

The group fills Tsubasa in on the situation. The priority is to save Natsume before he can get locked up. Turns out Rui is infatuated with Tsubasa. It’s interesting how these fights are complicated by the question of attraction. Hayate for Hotaru, Rui for Tsubasa. The DA kids are so weird. I don’t have a point about that. It’s just an interesting trend.

Something something the Reo Arc focused on Mikan showing Natsume that he has something to live for and this arc shows him how many people are willing to fight for him. Whatever.

Turns out Tsubasa’s curse mark was created as a punishment by Rui, who can inflict pain on him whenever he wants. Where Hayate’s crush on Hotaru made him pretty harmless, Rui is the opposite. He is sadistic in some ways, and won't hold back just because he likes Tsubasa. But Hotaru has had enough dilly-dallying. They need to save Natsume, not waste time on these idiots. 

(And it’s so interesting that she looks at Ruka and assures him to his face that they will save Natsume. I'll save that for another essay, I suppose.)

Ruka surprises them all by summoning rats to attack Hayate and Rui. Mikan is shocked, and so is the reader (ideally) because Ruka has never used his alice violently before. It turns out his alice has some substantial potential to cause epic damage, but that’s not the kind of person Ruka is. He loves animals. Whereas Yuri hates her own alice, and Narumi and Reo view their pheromones as weapons or tools for manipulation, Ruka’s alice has always been an accessory to his love for animals. He uses his alice to aid communication, to tame animals through love and gentleness. He hates the idea of hurting animals, or manipulating them, so he would never use his alice like this normally.

But he loves Natsume too, and that’s how desperate he is to save his best friend: he’d even risk hurting these rats for him.

That’s as good a warning as any that this situation is serious and dangerous, on par with the Z Arc. Hayate and Rui might be funny characters, but this is not a comedic arc. 

Ruka says that Natsume had started to lose hope in life before meeting Mikan (and the others, but… we know the truth), but that he’s different now. He loudly defends Natsume, insisting that he won’t allow Natsume to be called a criminal anymore, and he certainly won’t allow him to be locked up. Ruka announces that he’ll stay with Tsubasa and Yoichi while Mikan and Hotaru go ahead to save Natsume. 

Saving Natsume without Ruka? That's not even possible! (Which is why Ruka would NEVER have left Natsume's side before his death, not for all the burns in the world, not for any of Natsume's pleading or Tsubasa trying to grab him, nothing. I will always be bitter.)

Mikan can’t hear his tragic internal monologue about this decision, but she doesn’t have to. Ruka not being there to save Natsume is ridiculous. Ruka has to save Natsume, because nobody loves him the way Ruka does. And of course she thinks this way, because Natsume’s biggest defender from the start was Ruka. Her very first day at the academy, she’d heard nothing but bad rumors about Natsume, but Ruka was the only person to shut those rumors down. He’s always by Natsume’s side, always standing up for him, always insisting that there’s more to Natsume than there might appear. Ruka has been saving Natsume time and time again, doing his best to protect his reputation and stand up for him, staying by his side, all in little ways. They might be small actions, but Mikan noticed. 

Mikan wouldn’t feel what she feels now about Natsume if it wasn’t for Ruka.

So how could Ruka not be the one to save Natsume?

(Note: these paragraphs are really hard for me to write because I'm crying and the tears are fogging up my glasses. Natsume and Ruka’s friendship simply hits different for me.)

Tsubasa and Youichi join in, pushing Ruka away. They’ll take the fight from here. Ruka and the girls should chase after Natsume and save him. They head off together, and Mikan remembers what Narumi had told her in Chapter Ten, that she should make lots of friends at the academy because they will become precious treasures to her.

She’s always believed in him, but that feels more true now than ever. Her friends are precious to her, so she won’t let Natsume be locked up. And it’s true for them too--Ruka has a precious friend he would do anything for.

As they walk, Ruka tells Hotaru and Mikan that he should finally tell them the truth about Natsume. 

About damn time that Mikan finally gets some answers. Not that she isn't already in love with him, but she's waited long enough!

Dear God, we’ve been waiting for this one for a long fucking time. More than sixty chapters to finally “discover” Natsume. Mikan has been looking so closely at him for so long to figure him out. She ended up seeing a lot that she liked, to the point where she’s gained a pretty sizable crush on him (even if she is unaware of it), but he remains a mystery. So much of what he does is inexplicable and bizarre.

Natsume would never tell Mikan this story. He never talks about himself like this. It only makes sense that Ruka would be the one to share, because he’s always the one to share. Natsume wants to protect people from his dark life, but Ruka wants to protect him, and the best way to do that now is by telling the girls everything, the entire story of how they came to the academy.

Conclusion

Natsume is Mikan's sunshine and she's willing to fight for him, no matter what! Today has already taught her so much, and yet the day hasn't even come close to ending! Tomorrow I'll post again! I'm not sure how many more parts this arc will have. Maybe two? We'll see. The analysis coming up is long and detailed! I'll be discussing lots of things!

I'm officially back! I got a new job (for real this time) which is Monday to Friday from 8 am to 4 pm for the next four months. So I won't be posting on weekdays from now on (maybe on Fridays depending on how tired I am). I'll try to write in the meantime because I have a lot of analysis to do to maintain a good gap! I wanna be ahead of y'all.

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