#nairobi drag

[dragkingsrule]

Majic Dyke, Nairobi, Kenya-based drag king

Image sources: 1, 2, 3, 4

Artist links: LinkTree, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube

[pxnsneverland]

Ruthless Grace | Austin Butler x OC (part 5)

(gif source: nairobi-resources)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

plot summary: Amidst the grime and squalor of Victorian England's winding cobblestone alleys, a young woman's life hangs precariously in the balance. Violet, a poor peasant girl with long raven locks and piercing gray eyes, possesses a haunting beauty that belies the harsh realities of her existence. Tragedy struck two years prior when Violet's mother succumbed to illness, leaving her to fend for herself and her father – a cruel, selfish man consumed by vices of alcohol and gambling. On one fateful night, Violet's father drags her unwillingly to that very den of iniquity, and there she learns a horrifying truth from the club's greedy, perverted owner: to repay his mounting gambling debts, her father has sold her into sexual servitude. Violet's vehement protests fall on deaf ears, until an unlikely savior emerges from the shadows. Lord Austin Butler intervenes with a bargain of his own. This dangerous man offers to pay off Violet's father's debts in exchange for her accompaniment, and Violet is torn from the only life she has known. While Austin's demeanor remains shrouded in mystery and detachment at first, Violet gradually glimpses his softer, even playful side as time passes within the manor's walls and an unexpected connection blossoms between the unlikely pair.

pairings: austin butler x oc

word count: 2,884

warnings/notes:

Chapter 5: A Dance in the Rose Garden

Violet's fingers traced the intricate embroidery of the bedspread, each stitch a reminder of the distance between her past life and the present. The lush fabric felt foreign under her touch, almost as if it whispered secrets she wasn't yet privy to. She shivered slightly, a chill running down her spine despite the warmth of the room.

Outside, the sun had dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows across the estate. The beauty of it all was undeniable, but beneath that beauty lurked layers of complexity that Violet knew she must navigate with care. Her survival had always depended on her ability to adapt quickly to new environments, but this was unlike anything she had ever encountered.

As darkness settled outside, a soft knock on the door startled her from her reverie. “Miss Everly?” called a gentle voice from the other side. It was Mr. Pembroke, his tone respectful yet carrying an undertone of urgency.

Violet rose swiftly and crossed the room to open the door. “Yes, Mr. Pembroke? Is there something amiss?”

Mr. Pembroke offered a small bow before answering. “No, Miss, nothing amiss. However, Lord Butler wishes to inform you that tomorrow after breakfast, he would like to give you a tour of the grounds.”

The words were straightforward, yet they hung in the air with an unspoken significance. A tour of the grounds was undoubtedly a privilege, a sign that Austin perceived her as more than just a transient guest. But Violet knew it was also a test—a way to gauge her reactions and perhaps delve deeper into her character.

"Thank you, Mr. Pembroke," she replied, maintaining her composure. "Please inform Lord Butler that I am looking forward to it."

"Very well, Miss Everly," Mr. Pembroke said, nodding once more before stepping back and closing the door gently behind him.

Left alone again, Violet's mind raced with possibilities and predictions. What did Austin hope to discover during their walk? Was it merely an act of courtesy, or did he have ulterior motives? She knew his reputation as 'The Devil Lord' was not unfounded; he was a man shrouded in mystery and darkness, capable of both immense cruelty and surprising kindness.

Sleep proved elusive that night as Violet lay in the massive bed, staring up at the shadowy ceiling. Her thoughts drifted from her father's harsh words and the despair of their dilapidated home to the opulent room in which she now resided, as if she had stepped into someone else’s life.

Morning came with a gentle intrusion of light filtering through heavy drapes, heralding a day that held unknown challenges. Violet rose, her body stiff from a night spent on the edge of slumber. Dressing quietly, she prepared herself with a meticulousness born from necessity. As she made her way down to breakfast, the house seemed to wake with her, its corridors filled with the soft sounds of servants moving ghost-like with practiced efficiency. The dining hall was vast and intimidating, its long table set impeccably with gleaming silver and delicate china. Lord Butler was already there, his presence dominating the room as he conversed softly with Mr. Pembroke.

Violet approached cautiously, her heart pounding unnervingly loud against her ribs. "Good morning, Lord Butler," she greeted him, her voice steady despite her nerves.

Austin turned towards her, his piercing blue eyes assessing her in a single glance.

"Good morning, Miss Everly," Austin replied, his voice smooth and measured. He gestured towards a chair at his right hand. "Please, join me."

As Violet moved to take her seat, the weight of his gaze felt like a tangible thing; assessing yet not entirely unwelcoming. She settled into the chair, her posture straight as a rod, acutely aware of every detail of the setting—the clink of silverware, the soft rustle of linens, and the faint aroma of freshly baked bread.

"I trust your first night in the manor was comfortable?" Austin began, breaking the slight tension that had started to coil in the air.

"Yes, thank you," Violet responded, allowing herself a small smile. "Your home is most beautiful." Her words were genuine, even if spoken from behind the mask of politeness required in such intricate social dances.

Austin nodded, seemingly pleased with her response. "I'm glad to hear that. I hope you'll find everything to your satisfaction here." His tone hinted at layers of meaning that went beyond mere hospitality.

Breakfast was served then, an array of dishes that seemed far too extravagant for just two people. Violet took small bites, her mind racing through all possible scenarios that could unfold from this enigmatic invitation. As they ate, the conversation flowed more smoothly than Violet had anticipated. Austin spoke of the estate's history and its vast lands, his words painting pictures of lush gardens, hidden paths, and ancient trees with secrets of their own. He spoke with a reverence that seemed at odds with his ruthless reputation, revealing a passion for the preservation and beauty of his surroundings.

However, beneath the casual exchange, Violet could feel the undercurrents of a deeper examination. Each question he posed, seemingly innocent, probed gently into her own history and views. It was clear he was not only interested in her as a guest but was also scrutinizing her suitability for something she couldn’t yet fathom.

"Your observations are quite astute, Miss Everly," Austin commented after she made a remark about the architectural style of the manor. "It is rare to find someone of your… background so well-versed in these subjects."

Violet met his gaze steadily, aware that this was another test in their intricate verbal dance. "I've had the opportunity to read quite a bit over the years," she replied carefully. "Books are a refuge that require no wealth to enjoy."

Austin’s eyes flickered with what might have been respect or surprise as he nodded slowly. "Indeed," he said thoughtfully.

"You've clearly made the most of those opportunities," he continued, studying her with an intensity that made her slightly uncomfortable. "Knowledge is a precious resource—one that many fail to appreciate."

The meal continued with discussions on various topics, each revealing a bit more of Austin's complexity. Violet found herself drawn to his intellect and the subtle shifts in his demeanor—how his eyes would soften when he discussed the gardens, or the rare smile that touched his lips when he recounted an amusing incident involving one of his horses.

As they finished their breakfast, Austin set down his napkin and regarded her with a calm that belied the sharpness in his gaze. "Miss Everly, if you are ready, I would like to show you the grounds now."

Violet nodded, feeling an unexpected surge of excitement mixed with apprehension. "I would be honored, Lord Butler."

“Call me Austin, please.”

His sudden informality took her aback slightly, but she masked her surprise with a nod. "Very well, Austin."

They rose from the table together, and as they stepped out into the crisp morning air, Violet felt a chill that wasn't entirely due to the weather. Austin led her down the steps of the grand manor and onto a pathway lined with ancient oaks whose branches whispered secrets of old. The estate stretched far and wide, the lush greens vibrant against the clear blue sky, and Violet couldn’t help but admire its beauty—a stark contrast to the grimy streets of her childhood.

As they walked, Austin pointed out various landmarks—a centuries-old fountain, a hidden gazebo veiled by climbing roses, and a quaint stone bridge arching gracefully over a babbling brook. With each site, he shared stories or facts about his ancestors who had lived and breathed in these lands. It was as if he was peeling back layers of himself, revealing more with each step they took together.

Violet listened intently, not just to his words but to the unspoken language of his demeanor. There was an earnestness in how he spoke of his heritage and a subtle plea for understanding in his tone that intrigued her. It was amidst these revelations and the tranquility of the verdant surroundings that they arrived at the rose garden. The garden was a masterpiece of horticultural artistry, a riot of colors that seemed to celebrate every shade imaginable. Neat rows of roses, from deep crimsons to delicate pinks, stretched out before them, their petals unfurling like the skirts of dancers at a grand ball.

Austin led Violet through an arched entryway covered with climbing ivy, into the heart of this floral paradise. “This has always been my favorite spot,” he confessed quietly, his voice carrying a tone of reverence as though he were sharing a deeply held secret. "There's something about roses – their beauty borne out of struggle against the thorn."

Viciously intrigued by his analogy, Violet reached out to touch one particularly vibrant bloom, her fingers brushing against its silky petals. It was then that a sharp pain jolted her – a thorn had pricked her finger, drawing a bead of blood that bloomed bright red against her pale skin.

Austin's reaction was swift. His hand grabbed hers gently but firmly, drawing her close to inspect the minor wound. "Allow me," he murmured, his voice low and unexpectedly warm. Before Violet could protest, he brought her finger to his lips, his eyes locked on hers. The contact was brief, his lips barely brushing against her skin, and yet it sent a wave of warmth rushing through her. The pain ceased almost immediately as if soothed by his touch alone.

Violet stared at him, her heart throbbing in her chest, unsure of how to interpret his actions. Was it merely a gentlemanly gesture? Or something more intimate, a sign of some deeper connection she was only just beginning to comprehend?

"Better?" Austin asked, his voice a soft whisper that seemed to vibrate through the air between them.

"Yes, thank you," Violet managed to reply, pulling her hand back slowly, feeling the lingering warmth of his touch. She noticed then the intensity of his gaze had softened, replaced with something more tender, more vulnerable.

"I apologize if I overstepped," Austin said after a moment, breaking the silence that had fallen over them. "It's just... I have a particular sensitivity to... blood."

His admission hung in the air, weighted with an unspoken gravity that seemed to pull more secrets into the light. Violet, though taken aback by the intimacy of his gesture, found herself curiously drawn into the depth of his confession. His vulnerability, so starkly contrasted against his usual composed demeanor, intrigued her further.

"Why is that?" she asked quietly, her voice steady despite the fluttering in her chest.

Austin looked away briefly, his gaze settling on the horizon where the sky met the lush greenery. When he turned back to her, his eyes held a mixture of resignation and something akin to fear. "It's a long story. Perhaps another time," he said, his voice almost imperceptible against the gentle rustle of the rose bushes swaying in the breeze.

Violet nodded, respecting his need for privacy. Yet, she couldn't deny her growing desire to understand this complex man who had unexpectedly disrupted her world. They resumed walking through the garden, their steps slow as they navigated between the vibrant displays of roses. The earlier incident had subtly shifted their rapport, weaving a thread of intimacy into their budding acquaintance.

As they continued their stroll, the sun climbed higher in the sky, casting a golden glow over the estate. Austin paused by a particularly lush bush adorned with white roses, each bloom flawless and full. “These,” he said gently, “are known as the 'Queen of the Night.' Quite rare and requires careful tending.”

Violet leaned in to admire them, aware of Austin's gaze on her. “They’re beautiful,” she remarked, “but I suppose all beauty requires some form of sacrifice or care, doesn’t it?”

“Indeed, it does,” Austin agreed, a trace of melancholy threading through his words. “Much like people.” His eyes met hers again, and Violet felt a pull, an unspoken connection that was both unsettling and exhilarating.

They moved on from the rose bushes, their conversation turning towards lighter subjects. Austin inquired about her favorite books and music, and Violet was surprised to find that they shared similar tastes in literature and classical compositions. It was easy to forget his formidable reputation when he spoke so passionately about his love for Chopin’s nocturnes or his fascination with Shakespeare’s tragedies.

The morning gradually turned into afternoon as they explored the vast grounds. Their path eventually led them to a secluded pond, where the water mirrored the cloudless sky and willow trees drooped gracefully over its edges. Ducks glided across the surface, undisturbed by their presence.

“I used to come here to think,” Austin revealed as they stopped at the water's edge, watching the ripples fan out from a stone Violet had idly tossed in. “It’s one of the few places where I can find peace.”

Violet glanced at him, noting the wistfulness in his voice. “Peace seems a rare commodity in your life,” she observed softly.

Austin smiled, a rueful tilt to his lips. “Indeed, it is. But today has been an exception.” He looked at her directly, his gaze intense yet gentle. “Thank you for that.”

She felt her cheeks warm under his scrutiny, unaccustomed to such direct praise. “I should be thanking you,” Violet replied, her voice barely above a whisper. “For showing me all this... for being so kind.”

They continued around the pond, their reflections side by side in the water below. The conversation flowed easily now, bridged by a mutual appreciation for the beauty surrounding them and deepened by the emerging layers of their shared experience.

As they made their way back towards the manor, the light began to wane, casting long shadows across the lush lawns. Austin paused by a towering oak, its limbs stretching protectively overhead. "I must confess," he began, his voice hesitant. He turned to face her, his expression earnest. "I find your company... extraordinarily refreshing, Violet."

His words, though simple, carried a weight that tethered her heart to the moment, anchoring her in a mix of joy and apprehension. "And I yours," Violet responded, her voice trembling slightly with the vulnerability of her admission. She felt the gravity of their shared secret moments, each one building upon the last, creating a tapestry of unspoken understanding between them.

Just then, as the shadows grew longer and the air cooled with the approach of evening, Mr. Pembroke, Austin's stern-faced butler and confidant, appeared at the edge of the garden path. His presence was like a cold gust of wind that suddenly swept across the serene pond, disturbing the peace they had cultivated.

"Lord Butler," Mr. Pembark intoned with a respectful bow that still managed to convey urgency. "There are matters that require your immediate attention."

Austin nodded, his face tightening subtly as he turned back to Violet. "Duty calls, it seems," he said with a hint of regret.

Violet nodded, her mood shifting as she sensed the change in atmosphere. "Of course," she replied, trying to mask her disappointment with a polite smile.

While Austin departed, Mr. Pembroke lingered for a moment, his gaze meeting Violet's with an intensity that made her falter. "Miss Everly," he began in a low, gruff voice meant only for her ears. "A word of caution, if I may be so bold."

Violet felt a chill trace down her spine, her curiosity piqued. "Yes, Mr. Pembroke?"

He leaned closer, his voice dropping to a whisper that barely rustled the leaves around them. "Lord Butler is not like other men, Miss Everly. There are aspects of his life that are... darker than most can fathom. Please, tread carefully."

Violet nodded, her heart pounding with a mix of fear and intrigue. "Thank you for the warning, Mr. Pembroke," she said, her voice steady despite the turmoil swirling within her.

Mr. Pembroke gave her a curt nod before turning and following the path back to the manor, leaving Violet alone beside the tranquil pond. The serenity of the moment was now tinged with a shadow of mystery and danger. She wrapped her arms around herself, contemplating the enigmatic man who had so thoroughly captivated her interest.

As she walked back to the manor, Violet's thoughts were a whirlwind of emotions and questions. Austin's allure was undeniable, yet now it was colored with the stark warning from Mr. Pembroke. What secrets did Austin carry? What darkness lurked behind those intense blue eyes? And how could she, a simple girl born of hardship and survival, navigate the complexities of this unexpected world she was drawn into? Violet's mind raced with possibilities and fears as she approached the grand manor house. Its imposing stone facade, which earlier seemed to echo a kind of historic grandeur, now loomed menacingly in her eyes.

The rest of the evening passed in a blur. Dinner was a quiet affair; Violet found herself seated at the opposite end of the long dining table from Austin. She caught glimpses of him conversing quietly with other distinguished guests—his demeanor composed, his laughter forced. Every now and then, their eyes met across the array of crystal and silver, and Violet felt the earlier connection between them pulse like a silent heartbeat.

Stay tuned for part 6!! Click HERE to view!

Taglist: @buckysteveloki-me @imusicaddict

[depressopax]

Stress relief - Nairobi x fem reader smut

Pairing: Nairobi x fem reader Genre: Smut Warning(s): Semi-public, cuss words, thigh riding, slight degradation, sub!reader + dom!Nairobi, oral (reader giving), AFAB reader, reader is called 'Athens' Words: 1,200  Summary: Reader helps Nairobi relax after some intense days at the Royal Mint. English is not my main language, if I make any spelling mistakes please let me know so I can improve my writing! <3

“He’s such an asshole!” Nairobi’s voice is loud and upset as she collapses on the couch. 

The tension between the robbers is getting tense and it’s only day 4 of the heist. 

In usual order, Berlin had something incredibly misogynistic to say, and Nairobi snapped. The two of them argued for a good while until you had to drag Nairobi away from there, whilst Denver tried to make Berlin calm the fuck down. 

She rubs her forehead and sighs deeply. You take a seat beside her.

“I guess Berlin is not the only thing bothering you?”

She shakes her head. You look at her with compassion in your eyes and gently pats her leg. You listen to her rant whilst slowly stroking her thigh.

“Everyone keeps fucking up. First, Rio and Tokyo, then Denver. And now… Berlin.”

“I know Nairobi… It sucks.”

You hate seeing her like this, and would do anything to make her feel better… Anything.

That gives you an idea. Your hand teasingly moves higher up on her clothed thigh, squeezing it now. 

“Shit!” 

She cusses.

“Not now, Athens.” 

But you don’t feel like listening to her warnings today… You kiss her softly and continue caressing her. You know it’s risky to do it here, in a office at the Royal Mint, but in the moment of arousal, you don’t bother to give a fuck. It even excites you. 

“Talk to me, sweetie…” You murmur, massaging her thigh whilst your fingers move to her groin. She tries focusing on ranting about her frustration, which quickly turns into soft moans. You smirk as you watch her go from upset to at ease as your fingers work magic, rubbing all the right spots through the red jumpsuit. Deciding to take things further, you stand up, locking eyes with the woman before you. The sound of the zipper is loud in the quiet office. Her eyes widen watching you strip out of the jumpsuit. To your satisfaction, Nairobi blushes. You’re usually not this bold. Now walking up and straddling yourself in Nairobi’s lap, facing her. This way, you can satisfy the both of you. Nairobi with your eager hands that gropes her chest and hips, and soft kisses and bites on her neck - and yourself by grinding your sex against her thigh. 

“Fuck… You’re insatiable, Athens.”

Nairobi growls. 

“So what?” “'So what?' We’re in the middle of a damn heist!”

Her frustration is coming back and you can tell she’s fighting the pleasure she’s feeling right now. 

Out of all robbers, Nairobi is the one to take the Professor’s plan seriously and never lets her guard down. But this also means she gets no rest. While the rest of the group take turns sleeping, Nairobi usually stays up, guarding the hostages, printing money and making sure the plan goes smoothly. You notice the dark circles under those brown eyes you love, and how the calm woman you adore is more tense and short-tempered. 

“You’re so stressed. You deserve a lil’ break, Nairobi…” 

You mumble softly, continuing stimulating yourself against her clothed thigh, whilst touching her. She squirms under you and bites her lip to muffle a moan. You enjoy watching her flustered and it only encourages you to continue, more eager this time. 

“You’re such a slut sometimes, you know…” 

The dark haired woman says under ragged breathing. Her words surprise you a bit, she is usually very soft and is not that fond of degrading names. But you can’t say you hate it. With a chuckle, you ask:

“Did you just-”

You never get to finish your sentence before she starts bouncing her leg. She rests her head against the cushions on the couch, her dark eyes staring and following your every movement.

“Why did you stop riding? I thought you wanted this.”

Nairobi’s sweet voice is almost mocking now and she looks very entertained. The sensation feels good but intense. It’s almost too much to handle, as you continue riding her. She bounces her leg faster and you let out a loud moan.

“Not so loud.”

She hisses, her hand traveling up to your mouth. She parts your lips with her thumb, and you obediently open your mouth for her only to close it again, wrapping your lips around her thumb. 

She keeps holding her hand on your face, muffling your loud moans with her fingers as her other hand keeps you in place, not allowing you to move freely. Your own arousal grows as your body heats up. Your panties are already soaked and you feel that intense knot in your stomach, so close to that sweet release. The friction is unbearable and you scream into your lover's hand every time her bouncing leg slams against your swollen clit. 

You barely reach an orgasm before Nairobi stops moving her leg and gently pulls you off her thigh. Confused and frustrated, you whine in response.

“Aww, you poor thing…” Nairobi smirks and looks at you. “You’re right, honey… I do need some stress relief. Will you be an angel and lock the doors?”

Your legs tremble when walking. You lock the door to the office and pull the blinds down too. As you turn around, your lover sits on the couch, her legs spread invitingly. With embarrassment, you notice the wet spot on her thigh, from where you sat. 

“Did you cum from that?” She teases, her hungry gaze at your wet panties. “Without my permission? Dirty girl…” 

She laughs and pulls the zipper to her uniform. She doesn’t even need to order you to do anything. You kneel before her, sitting on the floor between her thighs.

“Remind me to get a new jumpsuit before we head down to the others again.” She mumbles. You lean forward and kiss her lips, neck and chest while you help her get the jumpsuit off, tossing it to the floor. You give her an eager kiss before leaving wet kisses on her body. You rub her wetness through the thin fabric, making Nairobi react with a soft moan.

“Not so loud.”

You tease, using her own words against her. She laughs and observes your every move as you slide her underwear off. She puts her legs over your shoulder, forcing your face closer to her glistening pussy. 

“Fuck… That’s my good girl.”

Nairobi murmurs. You dig right in, working feverishly on satisfying her with fingers and tongue. Your fingers work in and out of her wetness, whilst you lick her wet folds and tease her clit with the tip of your tongue, getting a taste of her. 

It’s a turn on, hearing her moan into a pillow, and watching her face flushed red from the overwhelming pleasure. You feel proud of yourself for being able to make her feel good and can already see she’s more relaxed now, all stress and frustration fading and being replaced with pleasure. You lost track of time, there’s only you and Nairobi right now.

She lets out a sigh of relief and looks down at you with a satisfied smile. But she won’t let you stop just yet… 

“You know… This is some hella good stress relief. I should use you more often, babe.”

I'm so fucking obsessed with Nairobi rn bruh 😭 Don't be suprised if I go into a hyperfixation and post 10 different Nairobi scenarios lmao

[sewersaga]

PROLOGUE: THE SAKURA SMILES

PAIRING: okkotsu yuta x reader

IN WHICH: Avoidance is your mother tongue. Born in Tokyo to a Japanese mother and Kenyan father, you were unable to see your homeland the same after your mother’s tragic and mysterious death. Out of all people, an awkward Japanese boy that your uncle dragged back with him teaches you to embrace rather than evade, but your family secrets run deep. Returning to Japan promises a shitshow, but you’ve learned there are many reasons to make it worthwhile, and most importantly, you’ve learned that what you don’t know can hurt you. In fact, what you don’t know has placed a bounty on your head.

WARNING: i am not kenyan!! please take this fic with a grain of salt, but don't be afraid to (nicely) correct me on the likely inaccuracies! im vv open to feedback! i am also not white! if you want to insult me for my stupidity, take into account that i am part black ok thanks.

You love your country. 

You love the rolling skyline of Nairobi, and you love the duality of the animals roaming on the savanna just outside of the city. You love walking the streets with your uncle as the vendors call out to you, offering the tastiest samosas on this side of the continent. You love your neighborhood, and you love your little house with its rusty orangey-red roof. You even love the unexpected house guests that your uncle drags in occasionally. 

You loved your father. More than anything. The main thing you remember about him was that he was large. Whenever you were afraid, he would take you in his arms and you’d feel like nothing could hurt you. Not even the things that would jump out at you on the street that no one else seemed to be able to see, the things that would whisper and beg you for help. You’d cry out, and bury your face into your Baba’s chest, and everything would be alright again. 

Then, he was gone, with little explanation, and little closure. You were thirteen, and quickly pawned off onto your uncle. He was a good guy, but he was no Baba. Your Uncle Miguel knew everything about everything. Around the same size as your father, he could easily intimidate anyone who challenged him, or god forbid, you. But he didn’t know the first thing about raising a child, let alone a grieving teenage girl. 

Your mother passed away when you were only five. You don’t remember much about her, but the stories stuck with you for ages. Back then, your family wasn’t living in Nairobi. Tokyo was where you called home, Mama, Baba, Uncle Miguel, and you. That’s where you were born, and the four of you lived like a happy family. Mama would read you stories, and take you for walks, and to the zoo, and to the park, and Baba and Uncle Miguel would tend to their business. 

But Mama got sick, and her decline was quick, her condition traveling an elusive downward slope. There were hushed conversations between Baba and your Uncle, puzzled doctors, and days spent curled in her side in an uncomfortable hospital bed. You remember the warmth as her gaunt hand curled around your smaller one, and the quiet beeps of the machines she was hooked up to, as if all the wires would somehow be able to tell the doctors what was going on. 

Whatever it was, it wasn’t anything that was discernible to the average man. You sat at the hospital window, watching as the sakura tree outside the window shed its blossoms. Mama slept in the bed behind you, her face pale, cheekbones sunken in. Soon you’d be starting kindergarten, and you decided not to tell anyone about the clump of monsters reminiscent of a school of fish that swam around just below the blossoming tree. 

While Mama quietly wasted away, you spent your days in front of the window, watching the clustered creatures for any sort of changes. They never moved, gargling unintelligibly at passersby who obviously didn’t hear them. For a time, you were never exactly sure if what you were seeing was real. You’d been told you had an overactive imagination, especially by Baba and Uncle Miguel. But the sight was so vivid. You’d seen things like it before, but never this close. You wanted to approach the monsters, to see if they’d scatter once they knew someone was aware of their presence.

Early summer came, bringing with it your chance to investigate your current obsession. Mama seemed to be getting better, eating more, sleeping less, helping you learn the kanji for your name as well as the Swahili. Since Mama had been so active, you’d had little opportunity to take to your favorite pastime in front of the window. Finally, after a lot of repeating and coaxing your small hand to hold the pencil correctly, she dozed off. You climbed out of bed, being careful not to wake her with the absence of your weight as you approached the window. To your surprise, the clump of monsters was not alone today. Near it stood a little boy close to your own age. 

You weren’t sure if he was in trouble, but he seemed to be looking directly at it. Surely that meant he could see it as well? You weren’t sure, and you had to find out. 

After skillfully evading the doctors and escaping the hospital, you found your way to the sakura tree just outside Mama’s window, one that now sported luscious green leaves on its branches rather than the blossoms that came with springtime. As you got closer to the creepy thing, you became aware of a voice shouting, and the boy that you had seen earlier. 

He was gesturing wildly at the thing. You weren’t sure if he was simply ignoring the odd stares from passersby, or if he was so consumed in his one-sided standoff with this monster that he didn’t even notice that they couldn’t see it. Either way, he seemed convinced that childish threats of violence would get it to move from its home beneath the tree. He was truly idiotic. You decided you had to let him know. 

“Hey. What do you think you’re doing?” The boy’s gaze snapped over to you at your exclamation, tirade quickly coming to an end. His brows furrowed, and you worried for a moment that his anger would now be directed at you. 

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m trying to get this abomination to go away and stop scaring people.” His tone was cool, a sharp contrast to his outburst just moments earlier. You weren’t sure what the word abomination meant, but it sure made him sound smart. Maybe you were outclassed here? You quickly shook off the thought, standing your ground. 

“It’s not even that scary,” Your response isn’t a complete lie. It’s more off-putting than scary. And the closer you get, the grosser it looks. The gurgling noises it seems to be so fond of also aren’t exactly appetizing.   “So why are you yelling?”

“I’m not saying I think it’s scary,” He clearly didn’t want you getting the wrong idea. You couldn’t stop yourself from scoffing. The kid was scrawny, no matter the tough-guy image he was obviously trying to exude. “But others obviously do. They keep coming over here and running away because it looks so icky,” He stuck his tongue out to punctuate the last statement, an exaggerated shudder wracking his small body. “So, you gonna run away now,too, scaredy-cat?”

“Why would I run away? I already came over here,” God, he was annoying, with that presumptuous attitude. You weren’t afraid. You just didn’t want to be around that thing for longer than you had to. It was perfectly reasonable. “Plus, maybe people are running away because you’re shouting for no reason. Look at them. Do you think they can even see it?” You gestured to the people going about their day behind the scene he’d created, and lo and behold, now that things had reasonably cooled down, not a single eye was batted at the “abombernation,” or whatever word he’d used. 

“Maybe you’re right.” He spoke, his mouth twisting in a silent concession. You hated that he acted so disappointed that you had the upper hand. 

“Of course I’m right. Because I know lots, and you’re just an idiot boy who uses big words he doesn’t know the meaning of.” You crossed your arms over your chest with a small hmmph. He scoffed, quickly scrambling for words. 

“What? I read the dictionary all the time. I know big words because I’m smart. You couldn’t dream of knowing as much fancy words as me. Are you even Japanese?” He pointed at you with the last statement, seeming content to leave it there until something seemed to sink in and his cheeks flushed. “Plus, who do you think you’re calling a boy?” 

You were about to respond until it was your turn to have a realization. “Are you… not a boy?” Though when you thought twice, he really did have delicate features. You’d never seen a boy with eyes like that, and you had been wondering why he’d chosen a My Melody bandaid for a small scrape on his knee. 

“No! I’m a girl! You can ask my parents. Unless you want proof.” You visibly balked at her final comment. You’d never before met anyone your age who made comments like that. 

“I’ll take your word for it,” You paused, remembering one more thing you wanted to clear up. And by the way, I’m half Japanese. Remember it next time you wanna make fun of me.” 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” She ran a hand through her short hair sheepishly. “Yagami Rize. Sorry for the misunderstanding.” 

“Whatever. And I guess I’m sorry too. I didn’t know you were a girl,” You hold out your hand for her to shake. She looks at it with an indiscernible look in her eyes before taking it and gently shaking. “[Name Kariuki].”

“Kariuki?” Her hand goes limp in yours, but neither of you lets go as she tilts her head in mild curiosity.” 

“It’s Kenyan. My Baba is from there, and it’s the best country ever.” She drops your hand as her face lights up with visible excitement. 

“I’ve always wanted to go to Kenya! Have you ever seen a giraffe or a zebra?” You wondered if Yagami Rize had noticed that she was jumping up and down a little. Honestly, you suppressed the urge to react the same way at the mention of the awesome animals. But, something made you hesitate. 

“I haven’t really been there before. But Baba promises to take me soon, as soon as Mama is better.” You admitted, afraid of disappointing your new friend with the truth. But she simply shrugged. 

“I guess we’re in the same boat then. Just make sure to send me lots of pictures when you do go,” She smiled. “I’d better go now.” She began to leave nonchalantly. You were about to do the same when a suppressed gurgle reminded you of the reason for your meeting a new friend.

“Wait!” You called after her. “What are we going to do about that thing?” 

She tilted her head, thinking for a moment. “What else can we do? Yelling didn’t work. Obviously it’s meant to stay there until someone bigger drives it away.” Her words were confident, haughty, and definitive. But coming from her mouth, it was less annoying than it was reassuring. It reminded you of the self-assured way your Uncle Miguel spoke.

“I guess you’re right.” You sighed. And it was the truth, because what were two kids to do against something that adults couldn’t even see? It was frustrating, but at least there would be no break in your window gazing routine. 

“See ya then, Kariuki. Lemme know when you see a zebra.” Rize sent you a lazy wave, before she was on her way. You gave the creature one final look tinted with childish animosity before deciding to head back into the hospital. You wanted to tell Mama about your new, smart friend. 

When you came back into the room, Mama was still. She looked like she was napping, but something was different. Her hand was cold. Fear gripping your chest, you called for a nurse. 

Mama had the sheets pulled up over her face, but her hands were still free. They were just as cold as they were earlier. You pried her rigid fingers apart, forcing a pencil between them. “Please, Mama. Show me how to write my name again.”

At the funeral, you sat outside on the ground, dirtying your new clothes. You traced your name in the dirt with your finger, over and over again. [Name] Kariuki, [Name] Kariuki. Distant, resurrected. Mama was far away and she wasn’t coming back. You were learning Swahili. There was talk about Uncle Miguel moving back to Kenya, and he wanted you and Baba to go with him. You were just a child. What were you to do against the will of two adults? You spread the smooth, summery soil over the grooves of your name, and went back to where everyone else was gathered.

[squishmittenficfan]

Thanks so much for the tag, @lilolilyr! This is a really interesting one 😀

I just wish I knew how to do the fancy little title links to everything I’m talking about…

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

A tiny amount in comparison to many, but I’m proud of my 32 works! Considering I’ve had a couple of huge gaps in writing and posting, I’m happy I even got past thirty!

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

233,653

93.7k in 2018

91.2k in 2019

0 in 2020 Yup, one of those writing gaps was massive!

23.2k in 2021

22.5k in 2022

2834 in 2023 I had to drag those words out as @lilolilyr knows too well, with all my whinging!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Berena. I can’t imagine finding the voice inside my head for any other 🤷🏻‍♀️

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Fight For - 968

You gotta rub me the right way! - 625

Murder on the streets of Holby - 611

Running Away (together) - 470

There’s The Rub - 233

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely yes. When my stupid brain wanted nothing to do with fic in 2020, one of the things I felt bad about was all the unanswered comments. I like to acknowledge anyone who has taken the time to not only read what I’ve written, but also been kind enough to comment. I know it gets said a lot, but even an emoji left on a chapter or one shot genuinely makes my day! I used to get horribly hung up on comments and kudos, and would get a bit upset if something I posted didn’t get much attention. After my break in posting I became far more chilled about it. I primarily write things that I want to read, so as long as I’m happy with a fic, that’s all that matters. Comments and kudos are just icing on the AO3 cake.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don’t do unresolved angst! The closest I’ve come is ‘Parting is such sweet sorrow’ because it was for Berena Appreciation Week 2018, and the prompt was angst. It was my take on Serena, in Nairobi, receiving the call from Hanssen, asking her to return to Holby. In my mind, we knew it didn’t spell the end of her relationship with Bernie, so the sad and mildly angsty ending didn’t count.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Everything? 😆

Seriously though, probably ‘Running Away (together)’ because it ended up being the start of the series that saw Serena and Bernie getting married and properly settling down together.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

I think I had one fic get a couple of 💩 comments, but that was when there was a period where there was a contingent of Serena haters who just had to make themselves known. If I recall correctly, I basically replied telling them to fuck off (in the hope they’d used a legit email address and would see my responses!) then deleted the comments…

9. Do you write smut?

I have done. I find it very, very difficult though, and essentially used my first venture into smut as a template for the second and third. It does NOT come easily (ahem!)

10. Do you write crossovers?

Nope. Again, I can’t imagine feeling like I could ‘hear’ any other characters well enough.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of. I can’t imagine anything I’ve written would be a big enough target for anyone to bother.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Berena, obvs!

I’m also reading a LOT of Rizzles these days.

Way, way back in the mists of time, I read a lot of Bad Girls. Also some Willow/Tara and 7/Janeway.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

My desert island fic - ‘Bernie Wolfe-Born Survivor’ I desperately want it written, but can’t imagine my brain cooperating, sadly. It would need to be a multi-chapter, and I struggled hard enough to squeeze 2834 words out of my brain this year!

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, I think. My ladies do love to talk! Quite a few people also seem to comment on the humour in my fics, so that as well I guess.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Smut.

Plus just writing anything at all these days. 😕

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Erm… as in including lines in a different language to the main body of the story? It can be frustrating, but if you’re on AO3 and using Chrome (yes, yes I know!) you can just highlight the text and get it translated easily enough. Not so much on FFnet of course…

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Posted - Berena are my one and only, my OTP…

However, I did dip my toe, many years ago, into trying to write a Bad Girls fic. I didn’t get far at all before it stalled. It only took me nearly twenty years to try again!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I honestly like everything I’ve written. I wouldn’t have posted it otherwise!

I think I’m most proud of good old Dead Ed (aka Murder on the streets of Holby) though. As well as being my longest, it also has the most complex storyline and took a fair amount of planning out. From someone who very much winged most things up until that point, it was a bit daunting. Plus the worry that people might find the reveal of the murderer disappointing was a bit stressful, I must admit!

Blanks to copy:

1. How many works do you have on ao3? 2. What’s your total ao3 word count? 3. What fandoms do you write for? 4. What are your top five fics by kudos? 5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? 6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 8. Do you get hate on fic? 9. Do you write smut? 10. Do you write crossovers? 11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 14. What’s your all-time favourite ship? 15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t? 16. What are your writing strengths? 17. What are your writing weaknesses? 18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? 19. First fandom you wrote for? 20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I’m not going to tag anyone, but I do recommend anyone who writes and has the time, to do it… it’s fun looking at the stats and thinking about all things fic related!

Thanks again for the tag, @lilolilyr, I really did enjoy this 😁

[hinatastinygiant]

4 | The Author's Legacy

Warning! Sexual Content!

Pairing: Sanzu x Fem!Reader

The Book of Salvation

The two hours during the show have been excruciating, filled with a mix of admiration for their performance and the lingering desire that has been building within you. When the final song fades and the crowd erupts in applause, you finally feel a sense of relief.

Without wasting a moment, you nearly drag your friends backstage, where you meet Sanzu on his way back to his dressing room. This time, it's you who throws your arms around him in a tight embrace. He then asks what you thought of the show, and you reply with genuine enthusiasm, "You guys are so talented! It was great!"

Pulling back slightly, you notice your friends chiming in, saying they enjoyed it too. Sanzu then suggests to the three of you that his bandmates are hanging out in the drummer's room if you'd like to join them.

"Oh, actually I was hoping I could talk to you for a bit first," you say, hoping your friends will get the hint.

"That's okay, Y/N," Amaya grins devilishly. "We'll go and meet you there when you're done talking." Nairobi nods in agreement and the two of them walk off, leaving you alone with Sanzu.

He opens the dressing room door and steps inside with you following right behind. He then grabs his water and takes a sip before curiously asking what you wanted to talk about.

As you glance around the empty room, you struggle to find the right words. It's much harder to find the words in real life than in your books. At least then you've got time to pick and choose what you want to say.

You both seem to share a moment of hesitation, and then you notice him eyeing the door with a small smirk playing on his lips. It's a comforting realization that you're on the same page here. You made sure to lock the door behind you when you entered, after all.

"Is talking really what you wanted to do, Y/N?" he asks, to which you shake your head.

With a playful glint in his eyes, he takes a step closer, his hand gently tilting your chin upward. "Use your words, princess," he encourages.

"No," you utter, before taking a deep breath, feeling the heat rising in your cheeks. You're just going to have to come out and say it. "I want you to fuck me," you blurt out.

Sanzu's smirk widens as he leans down to kiss you again, his lips soft yet demanding at the same time. The kiss is now rougher and more tender than before, his hands roaming over your body as he pulls you closer.

You let out a small gasp when he slips his hand between your thighs, feeling the wetness that has been building there for the past two hours. His fingers slide beneath your panties under your dress and find their way to your clit, teasing it gently before plunging deep inside.

You moan into his mouth, unable to hold back your desire much longer. Sanzu continues to kiss you hungrily while his other hand slides up to squeeze your breast.

As much as you want him to fuck you now, part of you hesitates at how fast everything is moving. But there's no use holding back when Sanzu is so good at what he does.

His thumb starts to rub circles around your clit, the movements getting faster as his fingers pump in and out of you. You whimper into his mouth, wanting more, but his grip on your body is strong.

"You want more?" he murmurs against your lips.

"Mmm" you respond.

"You have to say it, love," he demands.

"Please," you moan.

"Please what, princess?" he whispers into your ear, his warm breath sending shivers through your body.

"I need you inside me," you plead.

Sanzu smirks at this, clearly pleased. He then removes his hand from between your thighs and lifts the skirt of your dress. You quickly slip off your panties and step out of them, your legs slightly shaking.

"Bend over the counter," he orders, pointing to the makeup table nearby, which is thankfully clear of clutter.

You eagerly agree, placing your hands on the surface, feeling the coolness of the granite on your palms. You can see his reflection in the mirror in front of you, watching his every move.

He pulls his pants and boxers down in one swift motion, exposing his cock. The tip is already leaking pre-cum and you can feel your pussy throb with anticipation. He takes a mere moment to pause, pull apart a condom, and slide it down his length.

"So fucking sexy," he growls, positioning himself behind you, his fingers digging into your hips.

He then presses the tip of his cock against your entrance, the tip brushing over your sensitive skin. Your body shivers with anticipation as he enters you slowly, your pussy stretching around his girth.

"Fuck, you're so tight, princess," he groans.

Once he's fully sheathed inside you, he holds still for a moment, allowing you to adjust to his size. It feels like he is hitting the core of your body, making your mind foggy.

He pulls back and begins to move in and out of you, starting off slow, but quickly building up a steady rhythm. Each thrust sends ripples of pleasure through your body, your toes curling and your fingers grasping at the countertop.

Your pussy is so wet now that it's making obscene noises, and it only turns both of you on even more. He's hitting all the right spots, causing your body to tremble uncontrollably.

"Mmm, feels so good," he murmurs, picking up the pace, his thrusts growing deeper and faster.

"Fuck, don't stop," you plead, desperately clinging to the counter as the intense waves of pleasure threaten to overwhelm you.

He leans over and kisses your shoulder, his hot breath fanning over your neck as his thrusts become erratic. "Are you gonna cum for me, princess?" he growls.

"Y-yes," you gasp.

"Cum for me," he demands, his hand coming up to grip your throat as he fucks you hard and deep.

Your body shudders as the orgasm tears through you, and you cry out, unable to keep quiet any longer. You've never experienced such intense pleasure, your whole body trembling and your vision blurring as he continues to pound into you.

He groans loudly, his grip on your throat tightening slightly. "That's it, baby," he breathes. "Fuck, you feel amazing."

His movements become erratic and uneven, and he releases a low groan as his orgasm hits him, his cock twitching deep inside you.

"Fuck," he mutters, his hand releasing your throat and sliding down to grab your ass instead.

He pulls out and turns you around, pressing your back against the countertop and kissing you roughly. Your whole body is still shaking from the intensity of your orgasm, your legs threatening to give way.

"Holy shit," you breathe, once he breaks away from the kiss.

"I could say the same thing," he smirks, reaching for some tissues on the counter and quickly removing the condom.

As he zips up his pants, you're still reeling from what just happened, barely able to comprehend how quickly things escalated. He must have noticed the look of shock on your face, because he asks, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Just surprised, is all," you admit, trying to regain your composure. "I wasn't expecting to do that when I woke up this morning..."

"Neither was I, but I'm glad we did," he smiles, his tone surprisingly sweet.

"I hope this means we can do it again sometime," he adds, his gaze fixed on you.

"I'd like that," you nod.

He leans forward, gently caressing your cheek, before pressing a soft kiss against your lips. You can feel your heart skip a beat at his affection, and the butterflies in your stomach return.

"Come on, let's go back to the others. I'm sure your friends are dying to hear the details anyway."

You giggle at this, feeling a little embarrassed. He was right, your friends would definitely want to know what happened.

As you both walk back toward the party, your mind wanders, wondering what could possibly happen next.

When you arrive back at the party, you find Nairobi and Amaya hanging out with the rest of the band, drinking and laughing. The two of them immediately look over at you, their eyebrows raised in anticipation. You can't help but smile to yourself, knowing that they're waiting for you to dish all the dirty details.

Sanzu and the rest of the guys seem completely oblivious, continuing their conversation with one another as if nothing happened.

"So?" Amaya grins as she notices your slightly disheveled appearance. "How was 'the talk'?"

"It was... enlightening," you smirk.

"I bet it was," she snickers.

"We should probably get going soon," Nairobi cuts in, yawning. You glance over at the clock on the wall nearby. It's already past one.

You all exchange goodbyes with Sanzu and the other band members, with promises of coming to another concert again soon, before making your way out of the venue. The three of you walk out into the chilly night, the air feeling crisp against your skin after the heat of the party.

As you make your way toward the car, you turn to look over your shoulder, seeing Sanzu and another band member standing outside for a smoke. Your eyes lock briefly with his, and he gives you a small wave, his expression unreadable.

You turn back to face the car, your cheeks flushing as you replay the events of the night over in your head.

"That was some show, huh?" Nairobi says.

"Yeah," you chuckle.

"I'm glad you finally got to live out your fantasy, Y/N," Amaya teases.

"Thanks," you mumble, unable to contain your grin. "I can't believe I just did that."

"Well, if you think that's crazy, just wait until we tell you what we did tonight," Amaya replies.

"Oh?" You ask, curious.

"Let's just say we may have had a threesome with the drummer," Nairobi chuckles.

"Holy shit!" You gasp. "How the hell did that happen?"

"I'm only kidding, Y/N, but do you really think we're not capable of finding a guy for a threesome?" Amaya laughs.

"Well, no," you reply.

"I mean, I guess we could have," Nairobi muses.

"Maybe, but it wouldn't have been as fun without you there," Amaya smiles, patting you on the shoulder.

You laugh, shaking your head. "You two are crazy," you sigh.

"I suppose we are, but it was worth it," Nairobi grins.

The Book of Salvation

Taglist: @bontensbabygirl

[blackfilmshowdown]

New Film Submissions

How Do I Look? (2006) dir. Wolfgang Busch A documentary that chronicles ball culture in Harlem and Philadelphia over a ten-year period.

Kiki (2016) dir. Sara Jordenö

An inclusive community performance group from Harlem, New York, explore their passion for dance, art, and expression. The performers reveal the challenges of honoring their identity and heritage across art forms, from masquerade to drag and vogueing. Rafiki (2018) dir. Wanuri Kahiu Kena and Ziki live very different lives in Nairobi. Kena works in her father's shop and awaits the start of nursing school, while Ziki passes the days hanging out with her friends and making up dance routines. Their paths cross when their fathers run against each other for seats in the County Assembly, and they find themselves drawn to each other. Soon their interest grows to affection and the girls find ways to love each other despite the ever-watching gaze of the neighborhood. The Watermelon Woman (1997) dir Cheryl Dunye An aspiring Black lesbian filmmaker researches an obscure 1940s black actress billed as the Watermelon Woman

[veryqueermovies]

Rafiki (2018) || 4/5🌟 || Romance/Drama || "Kena and Ziki live very different lives in Nairobi. Kena works in her father's shop and awaits the start of nursing school, while Ziki passes the days hanging out with her friends and making up dance routines. Their paths cross when their fathers run against each other for seats in the County Assembly, and they find themselves drawn to each other. Soon their interest grows to affection and the girls find ways to love each other despite the ever-watching gaze of the neighborhood."

CW: Homophobia, Slurs, Violence.

I really liked this movie.

I know it was on purpose but I love the use of lighting and colors, most of the film has very bright and vibrant colors but the coloring gets softer and more pastel when Kena and Ziki have private moments together.

There is an intense violent scene where a group of men drag, push and punch Kena and Ziki. So be warned about that.

Despite that this does have a sweet ending. It was actually banned in Kenya because it had too happy of an ending.

[hiphopraisedmetheblog]

Lauryn Hill Dragged By Fans For A Tumultuous Show In Kenya

Lauryn Hill Dragged By Fans For A Tumultuous Show In Kenya In a world where artists are often revered as nearly infallible, the reality of live performances can starkly contrast with public expectations. Lauryn Hill, an icon of the music industry and a venerated figure in hip-hop and R&B, has found herself at the center of controversy once again, this time stemming from a recent show in Nairobi,…

[the-good-projxct]

Feb 15th, 2024

9.49 am. Listening to Marques Houston’s naked. Sitting in Frankfurt about to board to Nairobi. Time is moving really fast because I am moving through time zones. I realized by the time I get to Nairobi and get home, it will be after midnight and I will have missed saying, doing, creating anything for  the 15th. So I pulled out my trusted Mac and decided to write. Time is so weird. Like, time is not fake but time/clocks/time zones are fake and really mess with our perception and bodies. I have gotten very little sleep over 3 days because they have been one day for me yet everyone else is experiencing it as one day. Like huhhhhh?!?!?! Universe make this make sense abeg. I am such a Gøod traveler though. I really learned from all those trips to Toronto. I had water in my water bottle, I stayed hydrated on the flight, ate my meals even if I wasn’t hungry, did a face mask bc airplane air is dry as hell. So I am energized and my skin is moisturized. Couldn’t be me being hangry and ashy on a flight into MY CIRRYYYYY!!! Sitting at this gate is giving me Nairobi Light. Like it’s low key Nairobi energy. There's a few uncles and one even has a cowboy hat. What is it with our uncles and cowboy hats? There is always one. I wonder if they would like Beyoncé’s country album. Ohhh I have a theory  on Beyoncé’s country album and how it will break the dollar but I am too tired to go that deep right now. Also, why was I doing math on my flight. Figuring out drag, flight, distance and time because I could see the distance and speed we were going. Teachers, are we okay?!?! I taught a lesson on flight to 8th graders and now it's ingrained in my brain. So yeah, this is basically the blog. Me up to shenanigans as they happen. Sometimes it will be a daily entry, sometimes it will be art, sometimes it will be poetry and sometimes a photo that means something. I will keep the photos few and far in-between bc this is not instagram. So yeah, I have figured out what vibes I want on this blog and it's me vibes as I learn and process and exist as a more enlightened human. I am getting hungry time to board soon though. Oh I tried a latte here in Frankfurt and the Americas is truly the ghetto. How is this coffee so creamy and flavourful that I didn’t need to add any flavor shot or sugar? My guysssss leave the hood rat west where it is. Go anywhere. Go everywhere. I have such profound thoughts on planes, I was thinking I am in Europe but I am not European. I sat on that thought for like 10 minutes then realized, I am exhausted and thinking nonsense literally. LMAO. It felt profound for like 10 minutes then I clicked back into my true self. I am grateful to the Universe for my laptop today. I know that’s a weird likkle thing to be grateful for…but its because…my phone was at like 6% when I got to Germany and their outlets are different and apple doesn’t use usb anymore. So I could only charge my phone on my computer. So yeah, what a save because the next time I charge might be awhile. I need to find a plug extension. Isn’t that annoying? Apple is very predatory. Like what a dangerous inconvenience to put me in. I am low key team Android now that I am out of the west. I will slowly switch back to a phone that is more accessible. I’ll keep a MacBook for life though. A rose gold one…forever. See me lyin’. Who knows what the future holds and what I will want/need.

For the blog, I might also share screenshots of cool conversations. That might be the photo of the day. I be having the bestest, wildest conversations with my family and friends. Yooo! I threw away my sex toys before I left, I’d stopped using them in the fall because I liked the feel of my hands more but I wasn’t brave enough to throw the sex toys out. So as I was leaving Canada, I did it. But I threw them in my mothers garbage can. She sent me a message saying they were vibrating in the garbage and attached a photo. I stored them in ziplocs when I stopped using them. So it was a photo of two dildos in a ziploc baggie. I couldn’t even. LMAO. What is my life truly. That is not the screenshot I will be sharing but when I mentioned chats, I went there. Oh yeah, I guess you get to see how my mind moves and makes connections . One more flight and I am back in the city in the sun. My skin will get richer and my hair will get sun bleached. Life is SOOO Gøod. Canada felt like death. Like I had this feeling of death. And that has already lifted. I was suffocating, dying and I couldn’t even feel it anymore because I was used to it and had to numb it to survive. Now, I feel light. Already. In Canada I felt like an eagle swimming in the deep sea yet all I wanted was to fly. I am flyin’ now. Literally and figuratively. I hope these things I  muse about and create make you think, put a smile on your face, make you feel Gøod, seen and Loved. Anyone and everyone who ever reads this, know that you are a huge part of the Gøodness in this world. Don’t let capitalism and oppression convince you otherwise. We are all part of the comic wonderful magikal stardust. Every single one of us. 

Be Gøod. Be Saints. Ase.

[newstfionline]

Tuesday, August 22, 2023

Global food security at a crossroads (AP) Francis Ndege isn’t sure if his customers in Africa’s largest slum can afford to keep buying rice from him. Prices for rice grown in Kenya soared a while ago because of higher fertilizer prices and a yearslong drought in the Horn of Africa that has reduced production. Cheap rice imported from India had filled the gap, feeding many of the hundreds of thousands of residents in Nairobi’s Kibera slum who survive on less than $2 a day. But that is changing. The price of a 25-kilogram (55-pound) bag of rice has risen by a fifth since June. Wholesalers are yet to receive new stocks since India, the world’s largest exporter of rice by far, said last month that it would ban some rice shipments. It’s an effort by the world’s most populous nation to control domestic prices ahead of a key election year—but it’s left a yawning gap of around 9.5 million metric tons (10.4 tons) of rice that people around the world need, roughly a fifth of global exports. Global food security is already under threat since Russia halted an agreement allowing Ukraine to export wheat and the El Nino weather phenomenon hampers rice production. Now, rice prices are soaring, putting the most vulnerable people in some of the poorest nations at risk. The world is at an “inflection point,” said Beau Damen, a natural resources officer with the U.N. Food and Agriculture Organization based in Bangkok.

Tropical Storm Hilary moves on (AP) Crews worked to dig roads, buildings and care home residents out of the mud across a wide swath of Southwestern U.S. desert Monday, as the first tropical storm to hit Southern California in 84 years headed north, prompting flood watches and warnings in half a dozen states. The National Hurricane Center in Miami said Tropical Storm Hilary had lost much of its force as it headed to the Rocky Mountains, but warned that “continued life-threatening and locally catastrophic flooding” was expected in parts of the region. Hilary first slammed into Mexico’s arid Baja California Peninsula as a hurricane, causing one death and widespread flooding before becoming a tropical storm. So far, no deaths, serious injuries or extreme damages have been reported in California, though officials warned that risks remain, especially in the mountainous regions where the wet hillsides could unleash mudslides.

Hot, Sticky Summer in the South (NYT) Grab-N-Go, a drive-through and walk-up convenience store in New Iberia, La., has a central air-conditioning system, a window air-conditioning unit and two small, portable air-conditioners. On a recent afternoon, all of them were running. Still, Don Vitto, the shopkeeper, was sweating anyway. “It’s a sticky, heavy heat,” Mr. Vitto said. “You can feel it in your breathing—I know I can. I can feel the thickness in the air.” In Louisiana, and along much of the Gulf Coast, the misery of summer has never been reflected simply by a temperature reading alone. It’s not just the heat, as Southerners have explained for generations. It’s the moist, soupy, suffocating humidity that swallows up everything and conspires with the heat to make any activity without air-conditioning draining and even deadly. And this summer it has been absolutely abysmal. The air has felt swampier and more suffocating. Yet, confoundingly, as moist as the air has been, a scarcity of rain and clouds has made the sun all the more blistering, leaving the earth as dry and cracked as peanut brittle. But what has made recent months so punishing is the relentlessness of it all, as the conditions have dragged on for days on end and the volume of excessive heat warnings has broken records.

Anticorruption Crusader Wins in Guatemala, in Rebuke to Establishment (NYT) An anticorruption crusader won a runoff election for Guatemala’s presidency on Sunday, handing a stunning rebuke to the conservative political establishment in Central America’s most populous nation. Bernardo Arévalo, a polyglot sociologist from an upstart party made up largely of urban professionals, took 58 percent of the vote with 98 percent of votes counted on Sunday, the electoral authority said. His opponent, Sandra Torres, a former first lady, got 37 percent. Alejandro Giammattei, the current president, who is prohibited by law from seeking re-election, congratulated Mr. Arévalo and extended an invitation to organize an “orderly” transition of power. Full official results are expected within the coming days.

Presidential runoff is likely in Ecuador (AP) Ecuadorian voters looking for a new leader to help curb the country’s unprecedented violence will have to head to the polls again in October for a runoff that is likely to see the ally of a convicted former president vie against the principal heir of a banana growing and exporting empire. No candidate in Sunday’s special presidential election received enough support to be declared winner. With more than 85% the votes counted late Sunday, results from the National Electoral Council had leftist Luisa González in the lead, with about 33% of support. She had been the frontrunner heading into the contest, but the Election Day’s surprise came from former lawmaker Daniel Noboa who received about 24% votes even though he never placed above fifth place in polls. To win outright, a candidate needed 50% of the vote, or to have at least 40% with a 10-point lead over the closest opponent.

Wildfire spreads on Spain’s Tenerife, forcing thousands from homes (Reuters) A wildfire on the Spanish island of Tenerife that has forced thousands of people to flee their homes remained out of control on Sunday, despite a slight improvement in weather conditions during the night. Orange flames lit up the night sky from Saturday into Sunday on hillsides just above the lights of inhabited areas, while thick black smoke billowed high into the air. Late on Saturday, emergency services said the fire was now affecting 10 towns, although 11 had been evacuated as a precaution. Regional authorities said over 12,000 people had been evacuated.

Ukraine running out of options to retake significant territory (Washington Post) Ukraine appears to be running out of options in a counteroffensive that officials originally framed as Kyiv’s crucial operation to retake significant territory from occupying Russian forces this year. More than two months into the fight, the counteroffensive shows signs of stalling. Kyiv’s advances remain isolated to a handful of villages, Russian troops are pushing forward in the north and a plan to train Ukrainian pilots on U.S.-made F-16s is delayed. Ukraine’s inability to demonstrate decisive success on the battlefield is stoking fears that the conflict is becoming a stalemate and international support could erode. A new, classified U.S. intelligence report has predicted that the counteroffensive will fail to reach the key southeastern city of Melitopol this year. Meanwhile, a war weary Ukrainian public is eager for leaders in Kyiv to secure victory and in Washington, calls to cut back on aid to Ukraine are expected to be amplified in the run up to the 2024 U.S. presidential election. “The question here is which of the two sides is going to be worn out sooner,” said Franz-Stefan Gady, a senior fellow with the International Institute for Strategic Studies and the Center for a New American Security, who visited Ukraine in July. Gady said that Russia and Ukraine are now in an “attrition” phase, attempting to sap each other’s resources rather than secure significant territorial advances. With its ground forces largely stymied, Ukraine has mounted a flurry of new drone strikes on Russian soil, including targets in Moscow, but the strikes have caused minimal damage.

Ukraine Will Get F-16 Fighter Jets From Denmark and Netherlands (NYT) The Netherlands and Denmark said Sunday that they would donate F-16 fighter jets to Ukraine—the first countries to do so—in what President Volodymyr Zelensky of Ukraine said was a breakthrough. The procurement of American-made F-16s to supplement a fleet of Soviet-era jets has been a priority for Mr. Zelensky’s government for months as it seeks advantage over Russia’s air force and also to improve its own air defenses. Ukrainian officials acknowledged last week, however, that NATO countries would not donate the planes before next year, which is too late for use in a counteroffensive the government in Kyiv launched this summer. President Biden, setting aside months of resistance, said in May that NATO countries could train Ukrainian pilots on F-16s, and on Thursday a U.S. official said that the United States would allow allies to send the jets.

Rights group says Saudi Arabian border guards fired on and killed hundreds of Ethiopian migrants (AP) Border guards in Saudi Arabia have fired machine guns and launched mortars at Ethiopians trying to cross into the kingdom from Yemen, likely killing hundreds of the unarmed migrants in recent years, Human Rights Watch said in a report released Monday. The rights group cited eyewitness reports of attacks by troops and images that showed dead bodies and burial sites on migrant routes, saying the death toll could even be “possibly thousands.” The United Nations has already questioned Saudi Arabia about its troops opening fire on the migrants in an escalating pattern of attacks along its southern border with war-torn Yemen. A Saudi government official, speaking on condition of anonymity as he was not authorized to speak publicly, called the Human Rights Watch report “unfounded and not based on reliable sources,” without offering evidence to support the assertion.

Parents explain why they home-school their kids (Washington Post) One parent was fed up with an elementary school’s punitive approach to dealing with her 6-year-old son’s special needs. Another, home-schooled herself, reluctantly followed the same path with her daughter because of fears about her family’s vulnerabilities to covid. A third wanted to impart Christian values while exposing her kids to the food of the Philippines and the museums of Madrid. Their children are among the hundreds of thousands who have started home-schooling over the last three years—the most significant expansion of home education in American history. Aryanna Liddell, 32; home-schooling her daughters, ages 7 and 2, in Hillsboro, Oregon explained her reasons: “We believe that families are the fountainhead of a healthy, moral and functioning society. The family should be the child’s center of gravity. They shouldn’t be looking for that security in their peer group, because that’s not sustainable. In the Bible, it says in Deuteronomy 6 that you shall teach your children about the Lord. They have to be grounded on the truth of God, right? In education, we seek to nourish not just the body, but also the soul and the mind. We want them to appreciate what is true, and to seek what is good and what is beautiful. Because we are not just raising our children to make a living. We want them to have a life, and a life that is full of wonder, because wonder leads to worship. We need to bust the myth that home-schooled children are overprotected and not socialized. That’s not true. I find that my children actually socialize with a broader mix of people. What I’ve noticed is that she’s a lot more confident talking to people and having conversations with grown-ups as well.”

[wamuzimedia]

President WILLIAM RUTO denied hiding Sudan General Mohamed Hamdan Dagalo alias Hemedti in Nairobi.

President William Ruto has dismissed reports claiming that Kenya is hosting the Rapid Support Forces leader Gen Mohamed Hamdan Dagalo alias Hemedti. In an interview with France 24 on Friday, Ruto declined to be dragged into the Sudan war, stating that Kenya was not a party to the war as accused. “The main accusation against Kenya is that we have Hemedti in one of our hospitals in Nairobi which is not true. It is a whole false narrative,” he said.The Head of State went on to say the war in Sudan is unacceptable, noting that it is escalating into genocide. “In fact, there are already signs and vestiges of genocide. What is going on in Sudan is unacceptable, military power is being used by both sides to destroy the country and to kill civilians. The war is senseless, the war is not legitimate in any way,” he said. He stated that he will work with his colleagues at the Intergovernmental Authority on Development (IGAD) to find a solution to the Sub-Saharan African country’s humanitarian situation. Read the full article

[alrightsnaps]

Nairobi, baby, I missed you so much

[nairobiprofessional]

[hinatastinygiant]

2 | Where Words Come to Life

Pairing: Sanzu x Fem!Reader

The Book of Salvation

After the event ends, you and your friends pile into a limousine. Then after giving the driver specific instructions to Sanzu's afterparty, you settle into the soft seats. Amaya hands you a bottle of champagne with a playful grin. "Here you go, Y/N, this one's for you."

You accept it with a grateful smile. "Thanks. I'm glad I could make all our dreams come true tonight."

Nairobi chimes in with a laugh. "God, you will never know how jealous of you I am right now."

Chuckling lightly, you respond, "Honestly, this doesn't even feel real. It's the sort of thing I'd write about, not actually experience."

Amaya then playfully adds, "Well, considering you're the author of some honestly quite amazing porn too, who knows, maybe that'll happen next."

The three of you share a laugh. "I seriously doubt that," you answer.

Nairobi raises an eyebrow, teasingly. "Ooo, Y/N, are you saving yourself? Have you got a little crush?"

"Oh, come on, I know you aren't referring to that singer. I literally talked to him one time," you shake your head.

"That singer?!" Nairobi gasps. "He's not just 'that singer', Y/N."

Amaya chimes in with a mischievous smile. "Well, I hope it works out for you two lovebirds."

You roll your eyes playfully, taking a sip of champagne as the limo glides through the city. Conversations and laughter fill the back of the vehicle. 

Eventually, the limo comes to a halt, and as you step out, you're met by the sight of a huge, magnificent white mansion. Its beauty is jaw-dropping, with majestic columns framing the entrance and intricate architectural details adorning its exterior.

As you stand before the mansion, the realization of the evening's previous events sinks in. Anxiety begins to grow within you as you realize you've just arrived at the house of the idol who had your heart throbbing mere hours ago. You hold Nairobi's hand as the three of you step into an afterparty that you know will be as unforgettable as the moments that have led you here.

Inside, you greet a few familiar faces as you navigate through the lively rooms. Eventually, you make your way to the kitchen with your two friends and approach the bartender. Amaya orders a round of Vanilla Raspberry martinis for you all.

With your drinks in your hand, you turn around and lean against the bar, watching the other in the room. "Hey, where's Sanzu?" Nairobi then asks curiously.

Amaya hums and scans the room. Following your gesture, you point to the area across from you. Amidst a group of well-dressed people, there he is. Haruchiyo Sanzu, seated on a couch, engaged in conversation. Your heart skips a beat at the mere sight of him.

Nairobi's voice breaks through. "Come on, let's go."

As she takes your hand, the world seems to blur around you. You're ushered over to him, your pulse racing as the gap between you closes. Nairobi seats you down on one side of Sanzu, taking her place on the other. Sanzu's smile grows as he says to the others, "Hey, how're you enjoying the party?"

Amaya, situated on the other side of Nairobi, offers a subtle smile. "The drinks are pretty great."

Sanzu then turns his gaze toward you and takes a hit from the joint he's smoking. He exhales slowly, a cloud surrounding him as he leans in slightly. His voice is low as it carries over the music. "And what about you? Enjoying the party?"

A smirk grows on your lips as you lock eyes with him. "Oh, I'm definitely having a good time," you reply, your voice laced with sarcasm. "Who knew getting high at a fucking party would be so entertaining?"

Sanzu chuckles softly, his gaze lingering on yours for a moment before he reaches out to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. His touch sends shivers down your spine as he leans in closer.

And then, in an unexpected move, Sanzu takes another drag from his joint. With a sly grin, he leans closer, exhaling smoke into your face. "You know, if you wanted a hit you could've just asked," he says, his voice dripping with desire.

With a smile, you reach out and grab the smoke-filled joint from him. As soon as you inhale, your lungs begin to feel the burn from the heat of the cannabis. The world around you melts away into a hazy blur as the new high starts to envelop your senses.

He tells you to lean in close after you hand him back the joint. So, obeying his request, you shift closer, feeling your heart race. Then, his hand gently cups your cheek and he takes a deep inhale from the joint. You watch the tip glow just before he leans even closer and exhales the smoke directly into your mouth. Time pauses as the moment stretches into what feels like an eternity in this exchange. 

"You know," he then murmurs once he pulls away, watching as the smoke comes from your mouth at your next exhale. "I can make this night even more entertaining for you."

A surge of nervous excitement courses through your veins at his words. For a brief moment, you stop, unsure of what to do. A conflict grows inside you - the pull of excitement tugging against the voice inside you saying to be careful. He is one of the most popular idols in the world, after all.

In response to his offer, you gather your thoughts and reply carefully. "No, I'm not really that kind of person."

His gaze softens, and he nods, a thoughtful expression on his face. "I appreciate that. I'd actually like to get to know you better, too."

The Book of Salvation

Taglist: @bontensbabygirl

[despairinthedeparturelounge]

A/N: This is a request from my lovely @elena-fangirl , hope i did what you asked me to, this was so self satisfying to write for me💞

Pairing: Berlin x F!reader

Warnings: Major character death, gunshots, blood, LCDP season 5 spoilders? Kinda

Keep in mind that English isn't my first language,

Recuerdos

"Palermo?"

"Yes?"

"How's Helsinki doing?" Tokyo asks hopefully. "We made it out and he's with Stockholm now," Palermo said making Tokyo laugh with joy, you smiled in relief taking a deep breath.

"Has Y/n arrived?" Palermo asked, with a shaky voice closing his eyes, "She's here with us," Tokyo replied to reassure him, looking at the woman next to her, she had a gain a few scars on her face but nothing too serious.

"Thank you Tokyo! We only have one problem. The emergency door has closed on us, we're locked up here, me, Lisbon, Rio and Bogota are trying to break it down."

"Please just be careful!" You said crawling to Tokyo to talk to him with a smile on your face,

the silence was too much around the place, no one dared to ask why or even try to make a difference when you looked over your shoulders to see your husband sitting there looking at you smiling, "C'mere" he mouthed gesturing his head to his side, you got on all fours, crawling beside him just sit next to him, "when we got out of here we're going to an island! I wanna sit somewhere and watch you for hours" you giggled limiting the space between your faces "you want to tell me, Mr. Fonollosa can sit somewhere for hours?" He kissed the top of your nose, taking his time watching the scars on your face and kissing them slowly as he took your hand in his carefully touching the ring that was on your finger, "i had to pretend i didn't know my wife for five months!" Your chuckle cut him off when you remembered the nights you had to sneak in his room in the middle of the night without anyone noticing, the price to be with him during the night that you were willing to pay.

(...)it was 5 in the morning when you woke up, grabbing your clothes from the floor when two arms hold you from behind, he buried his face in the crook of your neck breathing, taking in your smell, "i need to get back to my room before they wake up," you whispered turning around to face him, he smiles holding your face with both hands kissing your lips, "I missed our home," he said leaving a kiss on your lips again, "and our room" another kiss, "and our bed" another kiss, you laughed on his lips taking two steps back to the door and opening it gently, still watching him standing there "te quiero," you murmured turning around and exiting the room.

"I knew you two were fucking!" You heard someone and immediately froze in place eyeing the person, "Nairobi for fuck's sake, stop shouting!" You whisper-shouted within your breaths, she looked at you with a smirk, "the dude kinda scares me, but my god Y/n you look flushed is he that good?" She continued looking at you up and down judging your appearance when you took a deep breath lowering the clothes you were holding so hard against your chest and as you did something caught her eyes, somewhere around your cleavage when she ran a finger on your neck and pulled up a ring in the chain around your neck, you quickly grabbed the ring and hide it in the collar of your top, "you can't tell anyone that you saw me this morning! Not this nor the ring thing!" You shook your head when she smiled at you, "so you're not banging him...! You're married!" She said in surprise when you put your hand on her mouth dragging her to your room(...)

The two of you were deep in the conversations about memories of anytime when something flies over to you, "grenade!" Denver yells when Berlin covered you with his arms, you saw it when tokyo ran to the grenade and snap in out of the air.

"No!" You screamed from top of your lungs.

Tokyo throws the grenade back at the soldiers and falls to the ground when the grenade explode and dust covered the whole room.

All of you immediately get up from the ground and aim your guns, hiding behind the countertop that was meant to protect you.

The concern glancing, heavy breaths and the sound of crying from the soldiers made the situation worse and worse, you felt like you can't breath anymore, the gun in your hands grows to be heavy and heavier as you still tried to stand on your feet.

"Denver" Stockholm's voice called from the radio, "there's a canal behind the kitchen" she warns, giving all of you the opportunity to scape, a little glimmer of hope! Something dragged the attention of you four, to the noise that was coming from the pantry, since you were the closest to the spot Tokyo gave you a sign that she would follow you quietly.

Berlin took your sleeve in his hand when you looks at him again, "i'll go!" He warns you when you shook your head taking another step, "i'll be fast, amor" he was still worried, but he smiled at the name you called him, aiming his gun again, "i'll cover you" Denver assured Tokyo when you both walked to the noise, "Nairobi told me," Tokyo laughed pointing at your ring, "The night in Toledo, when we got drunk" you smiled rubbing your forehead with your hand "i knew she would give it away soon or later!" You laughed moving a bit closer "i envy you, Y/n! The love you have, the connection is...real!" You looked at her grabbing her warm hand, "I'm going to always be sorry for your loss Tokyo, and i know how it feels believe me! That moment when i thought i lost Andrès in there forever, i didn't know what to do with my life" you said stroking her cheek "But you're stronger than me! And i know it" she smiled at your words hugging you tightly. "Oh you have no idea how happy i am that you're here" she said calmly looking at you, "you really thought i would stay at home, leaving you here?" You smiled kissing her cheek, "come on let's go"

They got back to do what they were suppose to, Tokyo followed you from behind, the voice now could be heard clearly and when you put your ear on the wall you could tell where the soldiers are drilling holes into the wall, you pointed to the places for Tokyo when she shoots them from the holes, the action seems to be successful when the afterward silence ruined it all, "Run!" Tokyo screams as both of you run out of the place when the sniper starts shooting, bullets starts flying and before you know a shot in the leg made you scream loudly, falling on your knees to the ground.

"Y/n!" Berlin shouted as he tries to make it to you, when three other bullets hit your vest, "No! No no!" Tokyo screams running towards you when a bullet hit her in the shoulder, causing the blood to Spatter everywhere, you laid on the ground unconcesioly when you felt your body moving, Denver helped Tokyo to reach a safer place while your husband had you in his arms, "Y/n, amor mio open your eyes!" He said when he succeeded in finding a good hiding place, he takes your face in his hand and immediately begins to cry, "Y/n look at me! Look at me" the shouted louder than before as the fear creeps inside him, what if you never do open them again for him.

Moments later, You hardly opened your eyes looking at the face above you unable to make words in your mouth when you choke on your blood and it starts to run out between your lips, Berlin looked more teriffieded as his hands were covered in your blood, "....Andrès" you managed to mumble his name for him to bend closer to your face, still holding your body in his arms where you felt home and where you belonged, but not like this, no. "Yes? Yes! I'm here, look at me! Look i'm right here!" he screams again in fear, "We need to cover the wounds, Berlin" Denver said as he wrapped a piece of cloth around Tokyo's shoulder, this was the first time anyone felt the need to tell Berlin to do something, he was terrified when denver handed him the cloths and he finally got to work, he quickly wrapped the gunshots with the cloth he had in hand that made you cry and weep in pain, "i know..but hang on i'm almost done" he assure you and gently kisses your now wet with blood lips, Berlin saw Denver get up running to find the canal door desperately, Tokyo nod smiling to Berlin when he left you to help Denver, you felt your eyes grow heavy and the pain grow stronger when Tokyo sat next to your head, putting your it on her lab, "Y/n, don't sleep! Hey hey!" You cried out her name when she hold your hand in hers, "we're getting out of here! I promise we're going out!" She tried to swallow the lamp in her throat still looking at your face.

"Denver come down!" You hear Palermo shouting from the end of the canal making you shut your eyelids, Berlin immediately got to you and tried to help you up a bit, you cried heartachingly in pain grabbing his arm, "come on amor, we're getting out of here" he said hopefully, you looked at him with pain in your eyes "go down first, i'll come after you. Fill the floor with pillows, curtains, anything you can find,"

Tokyo denies as she tried to release herself from Denver's grip near the canal, "no!"

"You heard her! Go down and fill the fucking floor!" Berlin snaps at Denver as he was still trying to force Tokyo down the canal, you could still hear her screaming, from pain and for you, you stared at her for a couple of seconds before she went down, and the screams got louder,

"I can't get down," you sobbed looking at your husband holding back the tears in your eyes, "not like this i can't!" He hold your face in his hands shaking his head, "i'm not gonna leave you here, you're coming with me! You heard that, i can't lose you," he cried holding you close to his chest, "you won't lose me, i'll come after you! Go get the pile filled up so i can jump there," you were still crying holding him by the collar, he held you by your back and sat you down somewhere near the canal entrance, you took out the ring from your bloody hand and shove it into his pocket, he grabbed your face with his hands "I'll call and you jump then, eh?" You closed your wet eyelids when he kissed them gently, still holding you in his arms.

(...) "come on Amor mio, smile for me!" He said kneeling beside your shared bed when you turned your back on him closing your eyes, "Y/n" "No Andrès! You dared to hide this from me! From your wife! now you come here and tell me to smile for you?!" You pouted frowning at him when he held your hand in his. You over heard about his sickness in a conversation he had with his brother, and ever since the picture of losing him is playing in your mind, what would the world be without him even?

"Y/n...mi amor, this illness is nothing, it can't defeat me if you're here! You give me the strength to live, you are my will to fight, you are my life!" He said pressing your hand to his chest "i'll die if you decide to leave me one day, whether i have this sickness or not" his words made you cry more and in defence you crawled back into him arms, hugging him tightly, "i will never leave you, i can't leave you" you mumbled as he kissed your wet eyelids, "I love you more than love ever could." (...)

"We still got a lot to do Y/n, right? Our home," he was trying his best to reason you, making sure you still remembered the life you have behind these doors, when all this fire and blood is over, you have a place you should be, you had people waiting for you outside this place, you let out a shaky breath kissing his hands, "go, Andrès" you smiled at him watchig his every move, Berlin held the rope and slowly went down the canal when Tokyo almost jumped on him, still screaming, "why did you came? I told you not to!" She was still screaming, clutching his jumpsuit in her fist, Berlin was still waiting for them to fill the pile with things for his wife to come down, not processing the situation around him "She's not coming! She... she is not! Y/N!" she screamed again, louder in the canal for you, her voice broke you down when she called for you hopelessly, you hold your breath trying to move in pain,

Berlin panicked when the radio made a noise, "Andrès?" Tokyo silently weeps looking at the canal again, "i can't keep our promise," you shed a tear trying to cotinue talking "i was always in the fear of losing you, day and night" he just stood there, numb from the pain and realisation, "i knew i was never strong enough to see that day coming, you are the best thing that has happened to me Andrès." you cried behind the radio, aiming the gun you had to the doors, "it's a bit selfish but i'm willing to keep it that way" Tokyo was almost passing out, "Y/n come down now!" Berlin said with shaky voice looking at the canal, "you gave me the life i could only dream of Andrès, All of you, if you can hear me, are the family i never had," You shaked your head no, "All of you made me the happiest person, you protected me, now it's my turn," you finished when almost everyone screamed your name in pain, you closed your eyes taking a deep breath, "Y/n don't do this to me amor, don't leave me here, i can't go on without you!" He was almost crying when you felt your heart ached, "i love you so much, don't forget that.... don't forget me..", your voice break when you tried to finish your words, you saw them coming in and that was it the radio went off and the shooting starts, everyone looked through the canal and moments later, there was no sound to be heard from there. "There should be a way! There must be way up there!" Berlin shouted desperately looking at Palermo's face in search of something, but there was none.

He ran around the place shouting your name when the bomb explode, Tokyo screamed again hitting the wall, crying. Berlin stood in place, shocked. He felt the blood ran cold in his veins, Berlin closed his eyes falling on his knees, holding your ring in his fragile hand, still covered in your dried blood when he brought his hand to his lips and kissed the ring and the blood deeply, the last piece of his love, heart and life was in his hand, and all the hope he had has dried on his skin that will probably be washed away, so all that is left is memories for the rest of the life he got. He shouted so loud when he sat on the ground that everyone could swear he ripped his throat open for that voice to be made, he slowly stood up from his knees, wiping the blood from his nose.

"We will get out of here, for her!"