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punkscowardschampions · 3 years

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Zelda & Zach

ihatemyguts: Good thing you told me how bubble boy posi Robyn’s ‘rents are

ihatemyguts: ‘cos that felt like such a brush-off

ihatemyguts: I feel kinda bad, it’s low-key just upset her with no shopping trip pay-off 😬

inandout: your first date was today

inandout: the insane jealousy must have forced me to forget

ihatemyguts: Obviously

ihatemyguts: moping and staring out of open windows would be bad for your health

ihatemyguts: probably

ihatemyguts: can’t have that

inandout: mope hard enough and fling myself all over the house, they’ll call it exercise

ihatemyguts: I’d let Rob know but her parents would probably sue me

ihatemyguts: I did some research

ihatemyguts: and yeah, flare-ups fucking suck, but if she was struggling that bad rn she’d be in hospital getting her 💉 on

ihatemyguts: makes me ⁉️ if the meetup will happen

inandout: makes me wonder if her brothers are allowed out

inandout: if they are maybe they can help us smuggle her to the meetup

ihatemyguts: not just a pretty face

ihatemyguts: that’s a damn good idea

ihatemyguts: I can slide in their DMs

inandout: Cranking up the jealousy metre to give me a full work out, I see, are you gonna be a PE teacher when you grow up?

ihatemyguts: *prays they aren’t like 12*

ihatemyguts: imagine if that was my life’s ambition

ihatemyguts: wear unflattering sportswear and give kids complexes

ihatemyguts: even without the potential life-shortening illness, I’d reconsider that

inandout: it tracks that you’d wanna make them 💩 and bringing back the bleep test could work

ihatemyguts: okay I’m not 🦹‍♀️ or 🐯 levels of sweet but is that what you really think of me? 😏

inandout: I think there’s only one rebel teacher coming to mind and I haven’t watched that film so all I know is they stand on desks

inandout: probably not a perfect fit for you

ihatemyguts: I could force you to watch it for our first date

ihatemyguts: and ask you, what your dream job would be

inandout: Netflix and chill or cinema screening of the ‘classics’?

inandout: we could do a drive-thru

ihatemyguts: hmm 🤔

ihatemyguts: there are pluses to ‘em all

ihatemyguts: cinema, we could laugh at all the snobs and 🤓s

inandout: Cool, reach out to me with the time + date when it’s showing

inandout: Are you allowed 🍿?

ihatemyguts: oh hell no

ihatemyguts: have to find another way to hold my hand

inandout: 🦸‍♀️ said she was gonna look up ice breakers and stuff, hopefully it was a fruitful search and she won’t mind sharing the info

ihatemyguts: do you think she legit didn’t realize how thirsty that boy was for her

ihatemyguts: or is it all uwu coy-ness

inandout: It’s hard to tell

inandout: but if I remember my glasses I’ll do my best to decode her body language from 6 ft away

ihatemyguts: aside from hospital, have you ever met someone else with cf?

inandout: Nope

inandout: jokes aside, it really is discouraged

ihatemyguts: that’s a hard one to get your head around

ihatemyguts: far as adjustments go

inandout: getting Robbie at this meetup won’t be easy

inandout: separate ones mean we might not have her there

ihatemyguts: I reckon we can trust you and Kara to keep the teen love story fictional

ihatemyguts: for all our sake’s

inandout: She’ll get her man

inandout: it’s not like bad advice and dating pitfalls are just a click away

ihatemyguts: cosmos never steered ANYONE wrong

inandout: Yahoo answers neither

ihatemyguts: might be confused as to why they’re not related

inandout: [I like to think he’s just sending his fave yahoo answer answers now for the lols]

ihatemyguts: [meme back and forth lads]

ihatemyguts: if she gets her date we could go into the matchmaker business

ihatemyguts: start at home

ihatemyguts: 🤖 don’t last forever

inandout: Rob’ll need to be next or she won’t forgive us

inandout: and we’ll soon get tired/guilty of seeing the amount of 😿💔 spam the chat

ihatemyguts: we’ll have to liberate her first

ihatemyguts: in a literal way

ihatemyguts: not the pretentious, free your 🧠 type of vibe

inandout: Kidnap’s playing into her parents’ fears but we don’t have a better option

ihatemyguts: now it’s my turn for a potential 💡

ihatemyguts: what if that is exactly what she should do

inandout: jump scare them?

ihatemyguts: if she did some actual wild shit to show them they’re being suffocating, ‘scuse the mention, then they’ll have to compromise and let her do normal kid things and everyone will win

ihatemyguts: I realize getting her to wild out might be a problem

ihatemyguts: catfish it though?

inandout: 💡⭐️

inandout: getting her to agree to do it for real would take longer than we have but you’re right, faking it wouldn’t take any time at all

ihatemyguts: get Lauren to picture whatever the hell she’s up to

ihatemyguts: sorted

inandout: + there’s your next photo challenge ready to be accepted, dressing as if you were going on a date with 👵🌈✨ instead

ihatemyguts: hold my neon

ihatemyguts: and think, do we clue Rob in on this plan now or do it on her behalf first, ‘cos we could hit up her house phone with some madness to get ‘em sus now and when she’s like wuuuuut it’ll sound even more

ihatemyguts: or is that a bit evil genius instead of 🦹‍♀️

inandout: Does she even have a house phone? We don’t

inandout: you’ll have to find another way to trick my parents into believing I’m a badass

ihatemyguts: I bet they do

ihatemyguts: can’t trust a mobile

ihatemyguts: and I bet they don’t have a microwave, they’re that sort

ihatemyguts: obvs I’ll just direct them to Lauren on your friends list with a 🤔

inandout: We should probably warn her, in case she takes it the wrong way

inandout: or decides to stand up to them for her YA movie moment

ihatemyguts: yeah, you’re right

ihatemyguts: if she doesn’t go for it, her brothers might be of use still

ihatemyguts: have to focus my evil energy elsewhere

ihatemyguts: such as…

ihatemyguts: 🥁

ihatemyguts: [one of the crazier lewks from babyteeth for the photo challenge]

inandout: 🤞🏻 one of them is old enough to drive the people carrier

inandout: Uhh… that was a suspiciously fast transformation

ihatemyguts: didn’t know you was challenging a pro?

ihatemyguts: and someone with a lot of time on her hands

inandout: I do now

inandout: and I’m guessing it’s not every day you get stood up based on what else I know about you

ihatemyguts: it’s a first

ihatemyguts: not that I constantly ask people out

ihatemyguts: but that is what I’ve put across so fair enough

ihatemyguts: what am I interrupting for you?

inandout: I’m waiting on friends

inandout: this could end in both of us being stood up

ihatemyguts: am I a drag you down with me type?

ihatemyguts: hmm

ihatemyguts: nah, I’ll cross my fingers that your friends aren’t flaky

inandout: Late, but I’d be too if it wasn’t my house

inandout: What are you gonna do now shopping’s off?

ihatemyguts: life is one big photo challenge, right

ihatemyguts: yours is ‘whatever will make your friends double-take when they open the door’

ihatemyguts: it’s a good question

ihatemyguts: we’re going to virtual shop tomorrow but she wasn’t up for it today

inandout: Wait for it and their faces

inandout: + you’re virtually invited to watch movies and play games, you won’t be the only one who isn’t here in person

ihatemyguts: 👍

ihatemyguts: cool

ihatemyguts: meeting new people is my new thing, as long as your mates are down/not the level of nerd that they might get a nosebleed if a girl is about

inandout: Some of them are girls if that helps

inandout: and my brother won’t be there to bring down the cool

ihatemyguts: low-key a shame

ihatemyguts: have to meet him before the first date though

inandout: I’ve got a father you can ask for permission if you’re feeling old-fashioned

ihatemyguts: full set

ihatemyguts: fun

ihatemyguts: mines in scotland so we’ll let you off that trek

inandout: But a road trip is a coming of age movie staple! 😫 Has Netflix aired any YA without one + are you willing to take that risk?

inandout: mine’s a workaholic but we’ve got years to catch him

ihatemyguts: forget the meds, see who gets fucked up first

ihatemyguts: it’d be a journey, for sure

ihatemyguts: do you know what he does? ‘cos so’s mine and I couldn’t tell you, tbh

inandout: Or mix them up and see what happens when you take the ones for my 💩

inandout: He’s a sales manager, he says, but why so vague?

ihatemyguts: sounds like something they’d do at cool parties

ihatemyguts: and that sounds suspish

ihatemyguts: they should have this 🤓 but with a moustache instead of the buckteeth

ihatemyguts: dads are elusive creatures… conspiracy time, what are they all up to

inandout: Not sure that’s the topic Rich has been watching vids on but I’ll ask

ihatemyguts: he can always tactfully ignore you if he’s 😳

ihatemyguts: like he does with 👵🌈✨ when she’s extra

ihatemyguts: more than usual

inandout: Be harder to do that in person

ihatemyguts: I think everyone will still get on

ihatemyguts: unless fibrofog shows, then that’ll be teen show worthy drama, of course

inandout: I think he’s genuinely blocked, he’d need a 2nd account to find out about it

ihatemyguts: hope he’s seen catfish too

inandout: He’d be a fan of the one where the man refused to believe it wasn’t Katy Perry

ihatemyguts: it does seem like the sort of thing she’d do

ihatemyguts: poor bastard

inandout: 😂

ihatemyguts: ultimate photo challenge, catfishing everyone and then going for the ruveal

ihatemyguts: might need more than just a wig 🤔😏

inandout: Dressing like her would make my friends do a double-take

inandout: [pics of some of her outrageous lewks with his head put on]

ihatemyguts: 😂😂😂

ihatemyguts: you suit the 🍦🧁🍭🍩✨

inandout: We’ve probably got a can of squirty cream lying around for hot chocolate

ihatemyguts: inhaler but make it ~sExxxIii~

inandout: [a lil video of his failed attempt to re-create that in her insta DMs or wherever because idk if they can send stuff like that here]

ihatemyguts: Katy dat you 😍😍

inandout: I’ve agreed to only string you along for 4 years not 6 and I don’t have any savings to spend 25% of on a 💍

inandout: looks like the comparison starts and stops with our black curls

ihatemyguts: not much of an orlando bloom clone myself so it’s alright

ihatemyguts: pirate is always an excellent disabled-friendly costume though so add that to the ideas board we should start

inandout: If we decide the next meetup is fancy dress, Lauren will never go back home

ihatemyguts: that’s the mood

inandout: [sends her whatever he did for the photo challenge and his friends reaction to it because why not say they’ve arrived and there’s a similar feral mood here]

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haeroniel-doliet · 6 years

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gah another 5 am post eh fellas

fuck i really wanna do ballet. i really rarely become obsessed (if ever) with anything, but for once i’m so so so so soso wanting to do ballet. so bad. i know i might hate it bc im fucing not musical at all, so not in shape, so not comfortable or etc. but at least im 18,(wait fuck 19 now) and not 45 trying to get in it all stiff and stuck and i think based on all the sweet positivity to adult ballet starters beginners and sure i wont perform professionally but fuck man i dont think i need that. i just want that grace and flexibility and elegance and gah itd be fabulous. i mean even now im pretending to look for turn out and walk around the house like they do in point shoes and i try fix my posture tothe advice by a ballet dancer youtuber who ive been watching so much of. i just i really wanna do it.

saddest fucking thing is guys, that i could’ve had the chance to go to the fucking royal ballets adult absolute beginner classes. in london. i could have. fuck. u wanna know what happened? i found out about it like a month or two ago and was fucking psyched bc its one of those things that just is too good to be true. the best company in uk?? w adult classes? while im in london?? yeah id have to miss a few weeks bc. whoops i gotta go back up to do my exams,but i couldve at least done a few weeks, come back and done a few last so i’d have had the best opportunity to give this a go in the best environment and then have a kindling to go off with to other available ballets. and not start with some barely managing person in a shitty studio thing. idk. sure so i tell my parents so fuckin excited bc look! its possible! but yeah its expensive, wouldve been abt 90 pound w me being a student and id have to miss 3/10 classes. but still! thin of it gah its making me so sad happy. sad bc guess its now sold out. of fuckin course it is. i told my mom and she just was uhmm ohh i dunno i dunno, oh its adults i could do it, and thinking that maybe getting her involved would mean i have a better chance of going, dont care much for her company but if shed take it as a bonding thing hell, i’ll probably do better than her in class and minor confidence boost as well as if they all others are old old i wont be alone. and she could pass over what they learned when im up in scotland. Guess that was a fuckin mistake. she got all nervous and self concious and put it off with a we’ll see we’ll see about it im thinking. and making it a whole thing like instead of me wanting to go so bad and offering for fun that shed join me, as if im trying to pressure her into doing it and would only go along to make her feel better. uh.... fucking wrong! im so mad actually. bc of course, no matter how often i mentioned it she wouldnt take it seriously to even consider booking me in! no no of course not we’ll see. and then i check before im coming back, dreading and being right that yep. theyre fucing sold out. of course they are its such a fanstastic opportunity! my only fucking opportunity! when ever again am i going to live in london with weeks free to go participate in that? when ever again? never. theyre moving out of london this summer and fuck. just doing some research and the scottish ballet is in fucking glasgow. yes i was supposed to get there if i hadnt been so shit with studying for my exams. (sure i wouldnt be doing archery and wouldnt have all the other wonderful things i now enjoy in aberdeen but fuck its frustrating) and ofc. aberdeen seems to have: one shady dance company that offers ballet fusion. not adult ballet classes. another shady school that practices at robert gordons that have no website nothing. no info how to sign up or if they have adult classes or when its so stupid and weird. maybe ill have to contact them directly idk. sure my uni has a what seems to be a thriving dance society that i have a glitched out membership for. (its 50 pound a year and i have cerrainly not paid that) and i guess they do ballet on the side. but again from a glance around, looks its only intermediate. not beginners. dont think theres that many uni age girls who just wanna start ballet now.

so it looks bleary. even in finland, i cant understand body parts in finnish so that might just be frustrating if i could even find a place that offers it. not that i’ll have long at all in finland. ill be there barely a month before heading back to uni and i come back holidays. if i wanted to take one of these eleven week courses, i think id have to geta fuckin liscence and a car and drive to glasgow 3 hrs both ways for a class once a week and that sjust stupid. im so fucking mad about this missed opportunity. like my muscles are itching and aching to do it. my legs want to work out in ballet positions. they just rly do. yeah maybe ill have to start doing barre at home from videos to try ease that, but its not gonna be the same and ill do it all wrong bc i have no teacher to direct me or anything. correct either. sure if i had done it and loved it i might still be mad that i have no opportunities to continue like i want to, but at least id have that expereince and could keep practicing at home based off of it. i am genuinely upset okay. upset betrayed disappointed sad twitchy and ugh. sure tickets go on sale today to swan lake after exams. and by fuck will i go see it. and ill get all the background before it and know it inside and out before i see it (already kinda do) and i will love it. ill bemaybe more upset and more twitchy that i cant do it, that i cant be lie them and that rly sucks. i really really wish by some miracle the school would offer summer courses so that i could just, get myself after exams into one. also another frustrating thing not quite so pressing on my mind is how my dad wants me to get summer jobs, maybe even two. one here and one in finland. sure it should theoretically be easier getting it here, esp. since im 19 now and yeah. i could work in a cafe or store just to get money and have smth to put on a cv thats not 2 weeks. but i dunno i dont particularly want to, i was hoping in london i could get the most of it culturaly (considering ive been a pouting and sad whailer whos not done anything for the last two years) then again i have p much no friends here so if i did go work somewhere theres a slight chance thered be someone i get along with and could hang out w. or visit if i needa back in london. i dunno. things are weird. sure i could try get an admin job w nhs like some lady suggested but its one of those too much responsibilty things, consdiering im shit with work i kinda would prefer to do some physical job like stacking shelves in a shop bc im good at that. but thats not gonna help me in the future. money yes, but cv building or careers wise? nah. i should owrk in hospitality or smth i dunno even i can barely get thru my work to pass rn so i dunno about job searching. im jsut a mess am i not. regardless maybe i should look if theres other ballet schoolsin london. be desperate, get a job and a ballet class going over summer and do art on the free time i guess.

okay so fer now ive found a course for like fucking 156 pound thats a 2 day full days course that looks mad cool for having different classes to learn vocab and etc and then a bit of fucking swanlake like yooo.. best thing its in like july but thats also possibly bad bc its july 28-29 and july 30 we move out. man it could be cool tho. then they offer there as well a taster session p much every other week and then a full 8 weeks of class p near by to me. sure this is specifically taught by a man and id prefer a woman but, i guess. since its ideal timing and place. and i got wondering why thats 150 and the national ballet wouldve been abt 90 and i guess there i get concession and it wouldve been only 6 classes considering the dates they had off. i should rly ask if they do do concession bc 150 is a bit steep still. for 8 classes thats almost 20 pound for 75 mins. its kinda insane. theres probably more companies i havent looked at but there is one other thats like a drop in thing 10 pound cash each class and thats a 90 mins so it might be better. ofc. obv. fault being that its drop in so being an absolute beginner w likely a lot older adults idk how id fit in or keep up or get hte most of it. i think ill go try it once regardless. then when back in abdn ask around for taster sessions and beginner ballet. worst comes to worst i wait another 4 years till i get to a big enough city that they have a nice ballet company and somewhere i can live like an adult but also get in on adult ballet and enjoy myself. maybe my industrial placement city will have a ballet company idk.

all i know is that im a bit obsessed and everyone says to go for your dreams etc. and as much as i enjoy archery (slowly gonna dedicate to it) and aikido (though training can be frustrating and training with old men isnt that fun) and ice skating is another less of a dream but in the same realm as ballet. that im gonan get new skates for and give it a better try. i just think ballet could be so fucking rad and im sad that its not so easy rn. and that my mom fucked me over. for that one course that couldve been cheap and amazing and mindchanging. to go to the ballet knowing what some of it feels like would be great. sure id love a chance to do some after as well u know. ofc it sucks it might cost a couple hundred over summer to these hobbies and i feel iffy spending 180 on a quality waterproof jacket. sure. they spend it but, im v concientious and dont wanna spend much of their money esp cus im not making my own. i guess logically, i should put a bunch of effort to getting thru this term rly well without lies and get a sumemr job. that way, i could theoretically take loan from my parents and pay back with summer job money w some left over to do as i like with (yeah i should save it for sensible shit but idk) also considering how nice i am my dad might not even want me to pay back. look i dunno. thats an idea. be good, be rewarded w ballet classes and an unstrained relationship w my parents, joyously move back to finland and start next term w a clean slate, hopefully more help and new determination into hobbies. maybe i wanna do 4 sports since i never did much as i was younger. tho sure, i did aikidos cousin taekwondo. ive shot a bow and arrow whenever i had a chance. ive skated since literally like 3 yrs old. and i used to take a form of dance a alot younger. sure no musicality but i think the exercises would be great for my knees and legs and butt and torso and posture. htese are fun sports since i dont like to work out. and since im not comfortable enough in myself to go swim.

#ballet an hobbies and thoughts and lots of things.#honestly noneed to read

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shadowyin-yang · 8 years

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pre-school/kindergarten AU? idk

Send Me Prompts!

Every time I thought I finished this I end up adding something new to it. = ~= Also, it took me so long to realize Fenders wasn’t even attached to this prompt.

Verse: Modern-AU with magic (tho surprisingly I don’t think any magic was used in this)

Misc info: Pre-Fenders / implied some depression / OC Kid / long-term pining / (past) unhealthy expression of said-pining / I know with how our culture is it sounds like I’m trying to shoehorn a moral in. No, there is no moral. / I had this whole idea for “the other side” of the story from Fen’s POV. but that’ll only double the length of this.

It was ruined. Mother said to not bring it to school in case it got dirty. And now it laid there on the ground, covered in mud, and missing an arm. Poor Mr. Meow. The plush was kicked around and stepped on and Anders couldn’t do anything to stop it. The boy did the only thing he knew how to do and started crying.

He knew he had to be in trouble. This was all his fault. What if he couldn’t hold Mr. Meow anymore when he goes to sleep? He never should’ve brought his best friend to school. It was too late now.

Surprisingly, his mother wasn’t as angry as he thought she’d be. She promised “we’ll get you a new one” but that didn’t matter. It wasn’t going be Mr. Meow.

Anders couldn’t help but think about Mr. Meow for the rest of the week. Going to bed at night was scary, but his parents wouldn’t let him sleep in their bed anymore. He got apologies from the boys who hurt Mr. Meow but Anders knew they didn’t mean it. Everyone knew that adults just make you do it. It was difficult going through the school without Mr. Meow. He didn’t seem to have an appetite. Eating lunch wasn’t supposed to be difficult was it? Anders at least tried. He was told that trying was all that mattered.

Anders slammed his hand around until it eventually hit his target and the annoying blaring sound stopped. He groaned to himself before forcing himself to sit up. After rubbing his eyes he immediately smiled upon seeing Pounce curled up beside him. He gave his cat a light pat he started shifting to get himself out of bed. Anders immediately stepped onto a pizza box. Oh Maker, this apartment needed to be cleaned. It took one glance at the clock before Anders decided he’d have to pick up clothes and put away books another time.

Anders made sure to keep himself on a schedule. Well, as close as he could get to one after being woken up at 2:30 in the afternoon. Maybe he should take up on Hawke’s advice on sleeping like a ‘normal’ person……nah.

By 3:28 pm, Anders expertly parked his bike beside the medal fence, not bothering to lock it up (as no one would steal this squeaky piece of junk). He rushed into the building and pulled an apron off the hook by the entrance. By 3:30, his bag was shoved into a cubby hole, his apron on, and he stepped into the colorful playroom.

“Anders!” Merrill exclaimed from her seat with a book in her hands. The children all circled around her on the storytime mat. The children mimicked her hand waving and enthusiasm upon seeing him.

Anders waved back. “Hi everyone! Don’t mind me. Go back to the nice story!” After the initial hellos passed, everyone’s attention went back to Merrill. And so Anders started picking up some of the toys. Trucks, dolls, fake food and utensils, books, and he shoved anything smaller into his apron’s pockets. He took his time, but had become rather efficient at collecting items and moving them all back to the correct containers on a timely manner. Unfortunately, the work didn't stop him from yawning occasionally. Maker, maybe he should’ve stopped for some coffee on the way over.

3:45 and the day was over (for the kids anyway).

Parents and caretakers started coming in to pick up their children. Anders stayed by the large window as he put away the big building blocks into their (bigger) toy chest. The view let him see the people coming in and out of the building. He wished he didn’t have to do this, but he must, or risk a confrontation that he rather not have.

The Maker decided to be funny at that moment and that’s when it when it happened: He saw him. Hair was white as snow, markings that traveled all over the body, a handsome face, and perfect voice…oh how Anders hated how attractive he was to look at while simultaneously hating this man! The number of times this jerk of an elf made his days in school a living hell was a reason added to his regret for coming back to Kirkwal! Maybe he should return to school and get a Masters or something…

Still, if Anders was good at anything, it was avoiding this specific elf. Hawke still tried to get the pair to be in the same room as each other ever since Anders returned, but Anders has expertly avoided such a situation for months. He refused to cave no matter how much Hawke tried to paint the elf in a better light: “Just let him apologize to you, Anders,” “He really wants to get off on the right foot with you,” “Can you be willing to have an online conversation instead then?”, “Please give him a chance, Anders,” “Oh Makers breath Anders, you can’t avoid him forever!”

Maybe Hawke was right, mostly in the department of his ability to not avoid another person forever (especially if they’re in the same circle of friends). It already almost happened a few times ever since he got this job.

“Uh, Merrill, can you be here for another 10 more minutes?!” he swiftly rushed up to the elven woman as she was starting to leave the room.

“Oh, well, I don’t know if I can really-”

“Merrill, please! I’ll owe you! I swear!” he put his hands together and pleaded.

Merrill, unexpectedly, looked down in thought. Anders mentally cursed. He sensed an answer he didn’t want to hear coming…

“Oh, I suppose another 10 minutes shouldn’t-”

“N-No! It’s fine,” Anders cut her off and waved his hands in front of him. “I can handle this. I’m a grown up! You go do your thing.” She always covered for him whenever he asked in the past. Letting her go on time for once in her life was the least he should be doing to make up for all those past 10 minutes she helped him with.

With that response, Merrill beamed up at him. “Thank you, Anders!” she turned to skip away. At the door, she let out an audible. “Hello, Fenris!”

Anders froze and turned to look around the room. Was there anything new to clean up? Wait, there was no need to panic! He’s in a room with children! Surely even Fenris won’t make an ass of himself in front of children and passing adults would he? Okay, sure, Hawke has mentioned a lot how Fenris is not as tensed up or as snappy as he used to be about mages. But still! Hawke wasn’t the one that was picked on!

“Anders?” Fenris questioned upon walking in through the door.

Anders turned around, trying to pretend he definitely did not know the other was coming. “…Fenris.” he tried replying as casually as possible and leaned on the craft counter. Said-counter being the only thing between himself and Fenris. Luckily, Fenris didn’t make an attempt to go around it.

Fenris still raised a brow though. He looked away briefly towards the remaining children. “Hati!” he called out. A young elven boy with strawberry blond hair perked up from his puzzle. He got up to start collecting his belongings. Fenris returned his attention to Anders. “It must be my lucky day. I have always missed you whenever I come here.”

“Yeah, that’s some bad luck,” Anders replied as he folded his arms. “You know. Sometimes I’m late. Lucky me that Merrill doesn’t fire me but I try?”

With a backpack on, Hati only stared at Anders in confusion as he approached. “What? But I see you go into the toy closet sometimes when I leave.” Hati reminded as took Fenris’s hand.

“Oh? Mr. Anders likes to hide in closets?” Fenris questioned. Anders caught a light smirk when the question was asked.

“N-Not at all! I was just looking for things! Toys are everywhere you know?” Anders tried to wave off, hoping Fenris doesn’t bring up the inconsistency.

Fenris only blinked and continued staring with a straight face. Okay, so maybe he totally knows that Anders was avoiding him. “I suppose that is possible.” Fenris stated. Yeah. He, he totally knows. “Well Anders, I shall not keep you from your duties any longer. But now that I finally caught you during a shift…” Fenris dug around in his satchel briefly before pulling out a red apple and holding it out for Anders. “For Hati’s caretaker.”

Anders took the apple and looked at it curiously. “…Merrill?”

Fenris’s face scrunched up. “You!”

Oh. Anders wanted to ask why. He wasn’t even a teacher. He doesn’t handle the children for long periods of time (he was pretty sure he wasn’t even legally allowed to be by himself). Sure, maybe not everyone knew he wasn’t a teacher, but still. Why does he get an apple and not Merrill? While questioning it, Anders continued to inspect the item, wondering if Fenris somehow got a worm in there.

“…you do not remember.” Fenris stated quietly. Anders looked back at the other. He could’ve sworn Fenris sounded genuinely hurt by that.

“What am I supposed to remember?”

Fenris shook his head and offered a soft smile. “It is nothing. It…does not matter now.”

“What? Come on, you can’t just imply it means something and then not tell me.” Anders started to toss the apple up and down. It felt real at least. And it did look fresh.

“I could…or…”

Anders stopped his tossing and looked back at Fenris in worry. Oh no, can the apple explode or something?

“I could tell you next time I see you.”

Anders pouted. “Oh now you’re just up to something.” Well that’s disappointing. Though Fenris surprisingly didn’t sound very malicious about it for once.

“Yes. I am up to something,” Fenris replied dryly, “That something being I wish to see you next time. I, however, will have see whether or not you cease hiding in the toy closet.”

Anders wasn’t sure how to wiggle himself out of that. He could not tell if Fenris was giving a smile or a smirk though. But he didn’t stare long enough to tell.

“Come, Hati. I have taken up enough of Mr. Anders’s time.”

“Bye Mr. Anders,” Hati waved as Fenris gently led him out. Anders waved back with a smile. He immediately dropped his hand when Fenris looked back towards him.

When Hawke first informed Anders about Fenris wanting to see him again, Anders thought the whole thing would’ve been romantic (after all, who wouldn’t want to hear the hottest person in all of Kirkwall wanted to see you?) if their history throughout school wasn’t so damn awful. He didn’t expect Hawke to be persistent about it though. Usually, Hawke just let things be as they are.

Avoiding Fenris did have its downside though. It often left Anders to be a bit lonely as he would end up staying home alone with his video games and books. Well that’s not too bad. Though Anders reasoned it was better than facing Fenris.

Anders almost wanted to ask Hawke what was up with the apple he was given, but decided against it. He, begrudgingly, tried to dig up any memories in school that involved an apple. Did Fenris throw one at him once or something? A ball, mud, another ball, a stick…nope! No apples came to mind. Oh well.

After finishing up at the Day Care, Anders took a bite of the apple before getting on his bike. Tasted normal enough. Tasted really good actually. With a shrug, Anders went on to his next job, apple forgotten.

“Here Mr. Anders,” the young elf, Hati, went up to him the moment Anders walked in the next day. The boy held up a red apple. “It’s from Daddy.”

Anders froze in midst tying of his apron and stared. It wasn’t his business but he didn’t recall being told from anyone that Fenris was with child. Were they related or was Fenris just a father figure? He shook his head of those thoughts and knelt down to accept the gift.

“Well, that’s, um…very nice of him. Did he tell you why?”

“Oh, Daddy says-” Hati’s hands went up to his mouth in surprise, “I can’t! It’s a secret!” with that, Hati giggled to himself.

“Oh, is it a good secret?”

Hati nodded excitedly. “Daddy likes you! He says you are smart and you will find out all by yourself!” Anders wasn’t so sure about that. Were they both talking about Fenris here?

Anders let Hati return to storytime and he pocketed the apple in the apron.

Fenris arrived by 3:50. Anders didn’t even have time to go over to the window to watch for him. Ugh, maybe he should just get this whole thing over with; just hear what the elf had to say and just go back to your life. Simple as that.

Anders still rushed over to the craft counter though, still much preferred having something big and long between himself and the elf. For safety reasons. They still had social media, so Anders wasn’t going to pretend he didn’t know Fenris doesn’t go working out with Hawke every week (while Anders sits at home with boxes of pizza).

“Hello Anders.” Fenris greeted with a small nod his way.

“…Hi,” Anders replied, once again, leaning against the counter and awkwardly trying to find something on it to occupy his hands. He settled on trying to make something out of construction paper.

“Hati!” Fenris called out for the boy before turning his attention back to Anders. “You look more tired today.” Fenris noted out loud.

“Oh, you know. It was just…a rough night.” Yeah, anxious thoughts of why he was given an apple. Now he was going to go to bed wondering why he got another one from Hati, who apparently refers to Fenris as ‘Daddy’ and Anders was not sure what that entailed. “It’s fine! I can just…pick up coffee after work.”

“That is unfortunate.”

“Oh yeah, very…” Anders ended up with a paper airplane in his hands. Oh Maker, just end this moment before they get an awkward silence.

“Did you by chance remembered anything…about the apple…?”

Anders looked over to Fenris, who surprisingly was looking away from him, almost like he was…embarrassed? Shy? Anders wasn’t sure if he could pinpoint it. He doesn’t often see Fenris in either embarrassed or shy to know for sure. He saw Hati come up to them and took Fenris’s hand again.

“Um…no. I…haven’t. I’m sorry.”

Fenris sighed. “It is alright…” Before Anders could say any more, perhaps suggest that he should just be told, but Fenris finally lifted his head again. It was a strange moment for him…Anders wondered if he ever really looked back into the other’s eyes. “Anders. I know we…have not had the greatest relationship…in the past.”

Anders had to resist scoffing.

“I have no excuse, and I know it might be…years too late. Regardless…” Anders blinked back a look of surprise when he watched Fenris’s hand tighten around Hati’s. “So…I apologize for everything. You do not need to forgive me. But…it would mean a lot to me if we could…talk again.”

Anders found he could only stare dumbfounded. There was so much he could dismiss, so many questions he could ask only for nothing to come out. As if understanding exactly what he needed right now, Fenris and Hati said a swift goodbye and promptly left.

Anders went about the rest of the day in thought. Unsure if it mattered that Fenris apologized, or if it mattered if they could be on talking terms…well, of course it mattered. If it didn’t, the apology wouldn’t have thrown his entire world upside-down.

Maker, when was the last time they even spoke (minus yesterday)? Anders hated that actually remembered: It was the summer after graduation, on Facebook of all places. They had a fight: Mage this, mage that; Tranquil this and that. Anders never went back online after that. At least, not until he was safely away from Kirkwall.

He went to Ferelden for furthering his education, and in less than a week away from home, he suddenly had reasons to go back online. There were parties to plan with Sigrun, homework to discuss with Nate, and relationship talks with Hawke’s own cousin. Anders still stayed in touch with his Kirkwall friends - most of them any way. He and Fenris never spoke. Though Anders also never removed the other from his friends list. No, he just hid the other from the feed. He wondered if Fenris did the same. But the way Fenris looked at him the last couple of days only made Anders wondered if Fenris saw something different in him. Did he see everything Anders posted about on his social media? The relationship status changes, the rallies he had gone to, the photos he took, photos taken of him, him getting Ser Pounce, the rants, and all the times he’d post something and then delete it later. How much of all that has Fenris seen?

No, this was ridiculous. This was all just anxious thinking. Anders knew he didn’t have the most exciting life. Unless you found the fight for mage rights or relationship statuses changing being a form of entertainment. Maybe it was simply that Fenris changed.

But none of this explained the apples.

This led to Anders sitting at home, on his laptop, at 3 am in the morning. He stared at Facebook and wondered if he should start stalking Fenris’s page.

No. That’s wrong. This is none of his business.

Despite telling himself that for the past 10 minutes, Anders still hasn’t budged from the site.

“Just the last few days” he reasoned. Okay, just a little bit then.

Fenris’s profile photo was really cute. Dammit. Hati’s smiling face took up most of the photo, but Anders could see Fenris’s arm around the boy. His cover photo was of a nice graphical image of a wolf. He wondered if Fenris designed it himself…

Anders sighed and started scrolling through the page. Fenris didn’t seem to post very much as all the activity seemed to mostly be from the past couple of days.

Fenris: Hati says he wants a cat and name him Skoll. I would assume this was the mage’s influence if it was any other name but Skoll.

Hawke: GET HIM A DOG! :DD

Fenris: No.

Anders chuckled. He admitted he has spoken about cats a lot to the kids. Out of all the kids, Hati seemed one of the most interested in hearing about his amazing Ser Pounce-a-lot!

Isabela: I heard you finally saw Anders ;)

Fenris: I have.

Isabela: And??? >:[

Fenris: And what?

Isabela: You know what! >:U What happened?!

Fenris: I gave him a gift. He was working. I was was not planning to take up his time. Unlike some, I am not that rude.

Hawke: Why don’t you ever give me a gift when I return from trips?

Fenris: You don’t need them.

Hawke: :( meanieface

Anders only stared in confusion. What was that supposed to mean? Did he need an apple? Or was that just a simple jab at Hawke?

The next post down made Anders’s heart stop. There was a photo…of an old looking, worn, cat plush…with one of its arms sloppily sewn back on. Hati was in the photo too. He laid on the floor, having a staring contest with the old toy.

Fenris didn’t include a comment with the photo.

Anders wanted to go hide back in the toy closet again. He didn’t want to confront Fenris about it, nor Hati. Though it must be a bit immature to act like this over it. These past couple of days have been ridiculous! Sure, life wasn’t perfect. Living with a cat in a crappy apartment with inconsistent sleep and lack of social life kind of sucked. But at least he got used to it! Fenris just had to come in and throw a wrench in that routine!

So when Fenris walked in, Anders found himself behind the craft counter again. For protections sake. “Why do you have my old toy?” Anders blurted out before he could stop himself. Oh Maker, why?!

Fenris, however, didn’t seem fazed at the question. “I…held onto it. Well, I held onto it, then forgot I did until I found it again.”

“…Okay but why hold onto it to begin with?” It was old. Dirty. Broken. If he wanted to give it to Hati, surely Fenris could probably have found a toy for cheap and still be better looking and in better condition than that old thing.

Fenris rubbed his neck in discomfort. “I…originally meant to fix it and return it. Then I considered getting a replacement. But…you do not just simply find an old toy anywhere. When I found it again you also were not…here. So I could not ask what you wanted.”

“I…see…” Maker, was that really the only thing he could get out from his throat!? Anders could not believe it. He had practically forgotten most of his youth and just like that, it all came flooding back to him.

The apple. Anders blinked a few times. Was his memory deceiving him?

In mid-thought, Anders watched as Fenris presented a new apple for him. “I…apologize for keeping this information from you. I did not wish to ruin our conversation with…painful reminders. I did not think it would make for a good impression.”

Anders stared at the fruit. For some reason he felt he didn’t deserve it, while feeling a want to have it. It was a gift. It was his. Fenris remembered and thought of him. Fenris may even know him better than Anders knew himself. It only made Anders feel a bit awful about the whole ordeal. After all, he knew nothing about Fenris. Nothing. Despite that, Fenris still wanted to reach out to him and mend wounds that he caused years ago. Mending that Anders wasn’t even sure he really deserved.

Maybe…maybe he could try. Maybe they could get to know each other again. Maybe they’ve simply misunderstood each other all this time…

He wanted to keep thinking about it. There were a lot of factors to consider after all. But he found his body moving despite that. Anders put his hands over the apple with a whispered. “It’s okay…I forgive you.”

Anders found he still could not finish some of his lunch. A couple of days he even ‘forgets’ to bring it. Nothing was appetizing when you didn’t have something to make you feel protected. He didn’t speak to the kids at his lunch table, as they seemingly grew bored of him from being sad too long.

Anders blinked in surprise when a juicy red apple was placed before him. He looked up to see the gifter running off to the hallway. At least, Anders guessed it was the gifter. Not many other kids were running off like that, especially during lunchtime. Anders picked up the apple and followed. He didn’t need to go far as just from standing by the door he easily spotted one kid sitting down on the floor against the wall. Anders slowly went down the corridor to him.

It hasn’t been long since school started, and he wasn’t familiar with everyone’s names yet. He still recognized this kid, an elf, as one of the boys who picked on Mr. Meow. So why was he given an apple by him? Maybe it was a mistake. “I think you dropped this.” Anders held the apple before him until the other boy looked up. He didn’t look long as his gaze went back back down to the ground, as if ashamed.

“…its for you…” he muttered quietly, still not looking at Anders.

Anders only stared back in confusion. Why was he given food? Out of all the kids in his class, even he can see the elf boy before him didn’t have a lot of it. He’s seen other kids sometimes even share their own lunch.

“…I’m not hungry,” Anders eventually answered. He had a feeling maybe the elf boy was though.

“I can’t take it.” the other boy replied matter of factly.

“Why not?”

“It’s a gift. So it’s yours now.”

Anders looked at the apple, again, confused. But what if he didn’t want it? Can you give gifts back? “It’s a gift…?” he asked. It wasn’t his birthday after all.

The other boy went quiet again and returned to staring at the floor. Anders didn’t say anything but he sat before the other. The elf didn’t seem to like it when you looked down at him. Anders tried to present the apple again but the attention wasn’t given to it.

Finally, the other boy started speaking again. “I’m sorry about your toy…”

Anders froze up. This was about Mr. Meow?

“I didn’t mean to make you sad. I wanted you to stop being sad…”

For some reason, Anders felt something good inside him. He didn’t know what it meant but it was a good feeling and that was all that mattered.

Anders offered the apple again. “Can we share it?”

The look Anders got was of surprise, but even he could see the eager yes in those green eyes before the words were even said.

He never got a new Mr. Meow, but things seemed okay now even without him.

#fenders #fenris #anders #dragonage fanfiction #prompt fill #syyprompted #del #syydrabble

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