#my undergrad writing mentor didn't publish anything

[pretensesoup]

How to teach writing

I wound up talking to a couple of other writers this weekend (big-name poets and people who write solely for their own pleasure as well) about the inadequacies of our writing workshops back when we were wee undergraduates. Poets recount being told not to write from anger, not to write political poetry. I myself never received information more useful than "dare to suck" in my workshops.

I imagine some of this is a hesitancy to be prescriptive--beyond the actual mechanics of English, it's hard to say anything with any real authority about writing, because most things you can say can be contradicted by famous examples. But anyway, here are some things I would do if I were teaching a class:

Discussions of representation, consent, anatomy, and how to learn about these things.

Encourage people to write in a genre that moves them. We're not here to explain to everyone else how smart we are; we're here to stretch our wings.

You have to write at least two pages per week and hand them in so I can read them.

Explain to students how to give good feedback. I used to get very frustrated and resentful of the stuff I had to read, and my comments were often veiled versions of "I hate this story, the characters, and by extension, you."

Maybe read actual books about writing, rather than just dragging students through an endless packet of terrible short stories.

Fight scenes! Sex scenes! When do we need them, what do they accomplish, how do we do them?

The role of a writer's biography in fiction.

How to get published.

[sarahfalciani]

3 years ago I was medicated out of my mind, just released from a military psych ward after having a full psychotic break, with a plan to end my life.

1 year ago today I was in the process of extracting myself from my 6 year long abusive relationship.

October 10th is my no contact anniversary. October 11th is my release date from the hospital.

Today I woke up, feeling present and grounded. I had a pretty cool dream/vision that ended up being a really cool metaphor for my coaching program that I've created for you (I'll save that story for another day's blog post). It woke me up at 0345 and I couldn't go back to sleep, so I got in my car, grabbed some Starbucks, and started driving in random circles listening to music and reflecting on my life.

I have been in therapy and worked with coaches here and there consistently since the year of my hospitalization. I have been off meds for a little over a year now. I have one successful business and another one that is taking off at a rapid rate. I'm in a master's program that I love, doing the research I've intended on pursuing since freshman year of undergrad 10 years ago. I'm a professional coach. I'm about to be a published author. I'm almost out of debt. I'm physically healthy, and have a deep love and acceptance for my mental health and dedicate time every day to my self care and my personal growth and development.

And you know, I still have days where I can't get off the couch. I still get anxiety in big groups of people. I still have some pretty deep trust issues with men & love that will take time and consistent work to heal. I still numb my emotions sometimes with one (or two) too many glasses of wine. I still cry in the shower sometimes because I just feel sad and alone. The idea of ending my life even still crosses my mind sometimes, although it's more and more rare as time goes on.

I don't get up at the same time every day. Hell, sometimes I sleep all day and work all night. I don't do the same thing every day. I don't exercise every day or follow a diet anymore. I don't follow rules or structure in any way, shape or form. Not because I made it a point to be a rebel or anything (hint: that would be choosing to follow a set of rules or structure in it's own right...) but because I made a choice to be happy doing exactly what I want every day, without judgment.

Being a leader, being a coach, being "successful" (whatever the fuck that means, anyway), having a voice doesn't mean I've got it all figured out all the time. I don't. I'm a human being who has just embraced exactly where she's at and made up her mind that she was enough exactly as she is in this moment.

It doesn't mean I'm happy all the time, or positive all the time. But I AM in tune with my needs. I AM in tune with my identity (and even that shifts & expands daily). I don't have it all figured out, but I've come a long way since my days of being in hospital-issued PJs, not allowed to write with anything more than a pencil the length of my thumb and having to ask a nurse every time I wanted a cup of water. I have come a long way since leaving my relationship.

I chose radical responsibility. Radical self love. Radical self acceptance. Radical self care. I stopped hiding and I did the work. And I show up every single day and I choose to do the work. Inside and out. The good, bad, and ugly of it.

I never not once have shut up about "that coaching thing" and now I am WELL on my way to having a fully booked coaching practice which is going to change the world, helping one person at a time to fall in love with themselves and their life exactly as it is TODAY.

Never not once will I stop sharing my story. Never not once will I not be real with y'all. Never not once will I not show up for myself, and for you. My one hope is that by sharing my experiences with the hospital, the military, my relationship, my rape, my mental health, and every other dark and twisty (and sunshine filled barrels of AWESOME) parts of my journey that you will know that you are never alone. Even if it feels like you are, you're not.

You're loved. I love you.

So with that, Happy Anniversary week to me, and thank you so much for being a part of my journey. Special shout out to the human who took me to the hospital (even when I didn't want to go. You know who you are. I owe you my life ❤) and those who visited me while I was there. Thank you to my coaches, my therapists, my family, and my friends who have been there all hours of the day and night, on the worst days AND on the best days. I'm so excited to report that the best days are happening more and more, and the VERY best is still yet to come. 🖤💫🤗

Pictures below: the cup they gave me for water in the hospital. I probably will never get rid of it. The IG post I wrote the day I was released. And a picture if me with Ro yesterday at the park.

I love you,

Sarah

P.s. If my story and my message resonates with you and you are interested in working with me:

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I have a few spots left in the beta version of my private coaching program Unapologetically You!

It's an elite, 3 month inner circle one-on-one coaching experience with me that takes you from the box you've been living in to throwing out the rulebook. You're going to get back in touch with WHO you are and what your values are, you're gonna shift the limiting beliefs and bust through blocks that have kept you small and you're going to learn how to start unapologetically showing up in your life with a focus on self love, self care, and an abundance of Queen (or King!!) Energy. I'm going to take you through the exact process that I used to go from small, broken, depressed, controlled by food, codependent in friendships & relationships, and constantly apologizing and anxious, to standing in my power as an Unapologetic Badass.

We're gonna cover money, time, body, food, relationships, friendships, family, self-esteem, business/career, guilt, shame, and anything else that is at your CORE holding you back from where (and who) you want to be.

During our 3 months together you get:

✨ One 30 minute coaching call at the start to set you up for success

✨Two 20 minute coaching calls per month after that

✨Unlimited whatsapp/messenger access for text/voice note coaching as needed

✨Journal prompts

✨PDF trainings

✨And more as we go (beta version = testing some things out. There will be some flexibility with the calls and such)

I know this program is priceless and it has been a long long LONG time coming. Literally my life's purpose. I've lived it. Breathed it. And I've been tasked by the Universe to help others along their journey.

This means the world to me. It's taken me many years, a lot of courses, coaches, mentors, therapy, trial and error, life experiences, journals, meditation sessions, brainstorming, and nights in the fetal position crying in my kitchen to finally find peace with my purpose. This is it. This is what I'm meant to unleash into the world. This is how I'm meant to lead and help others.

This is for every woman (or man) who has ever cried in the shower feeling lost and alone.

This is for me. This is for you.

If this resonated and you would like to grab a spot in the beta version (thank you in advance for being my guinea pigs!!!) DM me with any questions and let's do this shit. ❤