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[yixiangs]

THEY DID THIS FOR ME

[front-facing-pokemon]

[dootznbootz]

pocket wife :))

sd;klfj

LIL LADY! SWEETEI PIE SILLY GIRLsdfkj SHE'S POCKEET WIFE

NIKO, THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I ADORE HER. SHE'S SO CUTE! IMA SQUISH HER CLOSE!

[hollymacycomic]

Holly & Macy and Everyone Else

Chapter 4: Page 37

Start at the Beginning | About the comic | Tip-jar 

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[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

so i've been watching Muppet compilations-

[artifeast]

some more telesphore :3

[gg-neptune]

Three

So uh this is kinda rushed at the end but it was just hard for me to write honestly. And yes this is based off my AP tests score and how I reacted. And yes I am still upset. Yes I know I should be grateful but like. :( I hope you like it. <33

Warnings: academic over achiever, crying, age gap? (possibly I mean he's like a year older than them but he's also her teacher and no I do not care that this is not canons shut up leave me alone)

Waiting eagerly, you refreshed the page once more and it appeared. You could only see the top of it, your hands shook in fear at what you might see. This dumb test meant everything to you and now months after taking it you could finally see your score. It was finally time. You had studied for hours every night for 2 months leading up to it. You had an A in the class the entire year as well and had made a 4 on the mock exam. Countless tears and hours had gone into this and now you could finally see your score.

Some might say you were a bit of an academic overachiever. You had gone from making straight failing grades to A's in the matter of a year. You took your grades rather seriously, always being terrified they would drop back down to failing. Your hard work had landed yourself in an Advanced Placement class at Hogwarts. Now you were finally getting your score and you were terrified. 

With trembling hands you scrolled down a bit, looking at your score with great fear. What if you had failed? All your work for absolutely no profit. You wanted a 5. Now you knew this was asking a lot. However you thought you deserved it in a way. This year had been awful and you had gotten a high A in the class so why could you not at least get a 4? You were confident in your answers as well so why not stretch for a 5 as well?

3

You stare blankly at the screen for a moment. Your score is sinking in. A 3. You passed at least. At least there was that. However you were still thoroughly disappointed. You expected more of yourself.

How would you tell everyone? You knew everyone expected you to get at least a 4 or a 5. To get a 3 was almost humiliating. How would you face Severus? 

You and Severus had been dating for a few years. You were still in school as a seventh year while this was his first year as a professor. He had only graduated the year prior being only one year older than you. You two got some strange looks from the younger years but majority of the older kids knew him and you from when he was at Hogwarts as a student so it was not a big issue. 

He expected a lot from you. He taught you privately on his own time along with his lectures in class. He had also been expecting you to pass with a higher grade and you had only gotten a 3. Most of the universities you had been looking at did not even accept 3’s for credit. Most of them honestly only accepted 5’s. And you had pulled off a 3.

A knock sounded at your door. Somehow you knew automatically who it was. A sense of dread built up inside of you immediately. It seemed like a brick had been placed in your throat burning you from the inside out.

“Hey, can I come in,” his deep voice rang out from outside. You felt frozen in place feeling a panic overtake you. The thought of him knowing your score sends you further into your state of distress. It felt like your chest was collapsing in on you. Like your own body was capsizing and you were trapped inside.

The door opened anyway despite you not giving permission quickly after him looking around for a moment his eyes landed on you.

“What’s wrong?” His voice seemed blunt as he just stared at you confused. Not being very good at comforting others he simply stood there staring at you for a moment before thinking that might not be a good idea and taking a seat on your bed.

You attempt to choke out an answer but your throat does not allow you. The feeling of the brick being there still haunts you as you attempt to communicate with the man in front of you. You hadn’t realized before but tears had begun to roll down your cheeks as you stare at him scared out of your mind of what he will say to you.

“It’s… it’s alright whatever it is. Nothing is unfixable I mean like we can even bring dead people back it can’t be that bad just tell me what’s wrong. I can fix it.” Severus tried his best at comforting you he really does but this does nothing to soothe your distress. You can tell by the worried expression and tone of his voice he is concerned but you can not manage to spit out any words. This in fact can not be fixed. Your score is already set in stone. There is nothing you can do about it at all.

A sob suddenly breaks from your mouth as you break. Loud wailing breaks from you as you crumple in front of him. Your body slouched forward onto your knees, sobs wracking your body taking you down. Quickly Severus is leaning forward and gathering you into his arms. Cradling you like a little baby. Pressing your face into his chest allowing you to sob into him he attempts to soothe you again, “Shhh, I mean really it can’t be worth crying over hun what is it? Hmmm?” Putting on his comforting voice instead of his cold monotonous one. 

You reach over to your computer keeping your face still pressed into him, you drag it over to the both of you showing him your score wailing out, “I’m such a failure,” brokenly.

You can’t see his face as he looks but you can only imagine the rage and anger crossing it right now. All of the hard work he had out into you and passing you had failed him.

“I don’t get it? You did great, what's wrong?”

“I got a 3! How is that great,” your voice breaks multiple times as you cry this out. Still sobbing into his shirt you feel both of his arms wrap around you after he closes your computer putting it aside. One hand runs up and down your back soothingly while the other simply stays firmly wrapped around you keeping you close to him.

“Love, a 3 is passing that’s still good don’t be upset,” he whispers out rocking you back and forth trying to calm.

You don’t respond, instead just opting to cry into his shirt as your misery overtakes you. Now logically you knew that a 3 was not in fact terrible but it was not what you wanted. Or what you felt like was expected. However you weren’t quite thinking logically right now, so instead you let Severus just hold you. Letting him take your tears and soak them up.

Eventually your tears subside, having worn yourself out from sobbing so much. Severus slowly shifts you both into a lying position against your pillows, haphazardly pulling a blanket over you both. He keeps you close to him, not letting you get even an inch away from him as he continues his rubbing on your back.

“I am incredibly proud of you,” he whispered into your ear, “I want nothing more than for you to see yourself the same way I see you.”

He continues to wipe stray tears away as they fall. Neither of you say a word to another, you being too scared to speak and him not being sure what would be right to say.

Instead of breaking the silence you snuggle yourself closer to him seeking his comfort. Sniffling every now and again you use his arm as a pillow to try and make it easier to breathe. He presses gentle kisses to your face still whispering his sweet nothings of how proud he is of you and how good you did as you slip off into sleep.

[yellow-yarrow]

wait I haven't noticed this before, but the next world mural is in line with Noid's ideology

"True love is only possible only in the next world - for new people it is too late for us. Wreak havoc on the middle class"

Noid - "In the true life of tomorrow, every woman will be an innocence.

Noid - "A life is true if it's free from fear and internal division among oneself. And others -- mankind has seeds of greatness in it. A germinal will come, a return to trueness. It will be hard core."

Noid - "Have you been listening to what Egg's been saying? Love is *hard core* man, and a mother's love is the hardest core of all..." Noid - "Well, they *loved* her. They put all their love in her and forgot all about the rest of us."

Which reminds me:

Fuck the World - "I can answer that. Many men keep searching for *the one*. For so-called true love, which is actually just obsession masquerading as kinship. The thrill of the chase, the hollowness that fills your chest cavity after catching it." (...) one must think of a way to fuck the whole world -- and not get caught up in fucking some *one*."

(The church quest is full of Scooter references and Fuck here sounds like he's quoting the first line of How much is the fish?: The chase is better than the catch - it's all connected lol)

True love is only possible in the next world/ true life of tomorrow where all women are innocences!

And I think this is all in line with Chernyshevsky's views about nihilism which has been discussed in this post

The line about fucking the whole world instead of putting all your love into one person also makes me think of a love that is not about thinking that you own your monogamous partner, but a more free kind of love that is present in Chernysevsky's book

Also, I feel like there are different versions of nihilism in Elysium, for example Zigi's father in Sacred and Terrible Air is a nihilist, but he says St Miro's nihilism isn't real nihilism, and it's a disappointment. So I'm not saying Noid is the same as Zigi, who wants the whole world to just disappear. Piss and Fuck seem to be also more into what Noid is talking about. Then there is Esteban and Hulio from Full Core State Nihilist (story on Martin Luiga's Medium set in Elysium) who are edgelords just fucking around (? I'm still not sure what their deal is)

[maraschinotopped]

undertale yellow. clutches head in anguish.

[offjumpoladulkittiporn]

I'm so glad off got to meet his fashion icon at paris fashion week this year 🥰 our hawaiian shirt KING 😍

[sollucets]

favorite characters x favorite color: jaeyoung

[pearl-kite]

Hi I know this is out of nowhere and sorry if you answered it before. Also totally ok if you don’t want to answer

But your blog got me super interested in the redacted asmr thing

I did some research and you seem to know a lot about so do you know if there’s any like, chronological order I should watch them?

Love your blog!

Absolutely no worries! I like getting stuff to respond to, it's the opposite of a bother <3

So Redacted Audio, formerly Redacted ASMR, is a channel on youtube with a, quite frankly, massive amount of audio, and since it's been running for over 4 years now it can be a LOT to sort through. Fortunately, he's done a really good job curating and organizing playlists for the different speaker-characters.

Everything is within the same universe, and many of the characters have interacted with each other. The context is that the location is a fictional city named Dahlia set somewhere in California, which is a "cornerstone" city for magical society. The best way to get a solid rundown on magic and the setting is to listen through the Freelancer Season 1 playlist.

This one is already arranged in chronological order* and also has the benefit of giving a sampler of sorts for a wider variety of speakers. One thing to be aware of ahead of time: While this was actively being published, Erik hadn't decided who the listener-character (nicknamed Freelancer) would be romancing, so it starts off with a lot of potential toward all of them except Caelum. As it went, there were polls in the discord server that he used to run, and popular consensus eventually narrowed it down to Gavin. The first time I listened was after all of that, and I was more fond of Damien, but I'm personally pleased with Gavin now, and this playlist has been one of my favorites to just revisit if I'm bored.

*Well, mostly. There was a point where the channel got a strike for some of the audios being too spicy and he removed and/or edited some of them to try to avoid being demonetized. The first Gavin audio is one of the ones that got edited, and #3 on the playlist accidentally got relocated. It's been a long time, but I think it was originally after what's now #6, the second Caelum audio.

Aside from that one as a good introduction to the channel as a whole, there are some "main" characters that have had the most attention.

One is a group of wolf shifters: David, the current head of the pack (Chronological for his listener. A lot of people aren't super fond of the earliest ones for him, #3-5, because the character evolved a bit and they aren't really representative any longer) Asher, his second Milo, another pack member, which is absolutely underselling him, he's one of my favorites

There are a couple of vampires: Vincent, the OG for the channel Sam, a common favorite who's listener is a member of David's pack

While most of the playlists are specific to character, there are a few thematic ones as well, all of which are chronological within themselves. Now, chronology with respect to each other can start to get a bit confusing, because of how long it's taken for some of them to play out.

If you want to get a feel for the characters before worrying too much about timeline, I'd listen through most playlists as they're arranged with one main caveat:

When you hit the audios titled Inversion, give those a pause until you've listened to more speakers. Inversion was a huge crossover he did that has 10+ speakers involved.

A personal favorite has been Vega. I'm actually super not fond of the first audio he's in, which is also in the Freelance list, so I skip that one when I relisten. The first one in this list is that one with the Freelancer, but the second and onward has a demon listener nicknamed Warden. We just got an update on his story today/last night and I've been a little unwell about it 🙃

I am realizing I could go on and on and on and I kind of have, so I'm going to stop there. Hopefully that's enough to dip your toes in. I'll gladly help out with any follow-up questions, too :3

[keeps-ache]

dearest persecutor

[sketches below]

[astrum99]

The thing about freedom is that no one tells you how hard it is.

It should be exhilarating, it should be freeing, it should be the best thing he had ever experienced.

But he found himself missing control. Concrete constraint over his acts; tasks lined, sequenced, culling the creatures of hell in clear arraignments. He did not have to reason every decision, only to deliver justice as a faithful blade. Complete confinement removes the burden of the self. The control from the council cast upon him, and it cut away the part of himself that he did not realize existed.

Perhaps he did, but non-acknowledgement is always easier than to grieve the loss of it. Plus, to deny cravings is to provide proof of perfect devotion.

So, he thought of nothing and equated kindness to killing.

And when it crashed down upon him, there was no longer a home (a prison; the sheath of a bloody sword) to return to. What reverberates inside him is not relief, but grand, grotesque grief. Over his past transgressions, over the slaughter of his superiors, over the loss of control. He knew not to seek fruitless redemption, but that did little to quell the restless regret occupying the same small space between the dips of his ribs as the looming giant of emptiness nesting in the crevice between the lungs and the skin.

And the shame. Oh God, the shame.

Somewhere below the small abstract concepts of “right”, “just”, and “fair”, it festered and spread, stretched like tendrils into veins, then capillaries. It crawled into him until he wished to shed his skin. Introspection did little to help. It fed this insistent infection abundantly until he was paralyzed – spiralling in the limitless expanse between each letter of F, R, E, E that was somehow still needle-thin enough to squeeze his lungs until breathless.

Logically, he knew he should not be ashamed for delivering one final justice, for the total liberation of all that still exists. It was the only choice he was given, and he chose what was just.

He did not regret his actions, but that did not mean he was not hurt and haunted.

So all of it does little to quell the spill of thorned vines in his veins. Shame was jagged and cruel, aggressive betrayal born from the same place that once hosted the holy Light. Between hell’s stagnant air and the sharpness of silence, it slotted firmly into the depth of his psyche, steadfast and unwavering like faith. They snagged and sliced his flesh at every movement until reality flayed apart at the edges of his mind. When he was still, he had the sensation of falling.

Was this the damnation?

To suffer in freedom in the last few hours of his life? To experience all and thrash under the terribly tangled amalgamation of emotions unfamiliar and frightening? To falter in the complex contradictions at the core of all creations and come undone by the simple brutality of it?

To see into reflections on his swords and unable to recognize the self that stared back?

How ironic, to be free from chains and miss them profusely so; to be released and realize your incapacity to function without imprisonment. Freedom is the absence of restraint, and he found himself lost within the infinite abyss.

When he looked inside of himself, he found the same chasm confined under the thin layer of skin. It swallowed him whole.

[darewolfcreates]

WIZARD BABYYYY!!!!

[gardenofhope]

gayass looking squid