#my sister tried to teach me how to do a cartwheel once after school and kicked me in the face

[marilynthornhilllover]

SO I GOT WASTED LIKE ALL MY POTENTIAL

Natasha romanoff x fem!reader

Warning: angst, grief, depression themes,heartbreak, death,adoptive daughter,just sad stuff🥲❤️‍🩹

A/n: I apologize for any tears shedded through out this fanfic😭🥲

It's been 5 years.....

5 long years

5 hard years

5 depressive years

5 lonely years

5 years without her by your side

5 years without her laughter

5 years without her smile

5 years without her hugs

5 years without her.

It's been 5 years since natasha romanoff died....Your lover. Your wife. The mother of your daughter. The one who kept you going when you so badly wanted to stop. The one who kept you smiling, Laughing, living when all you wanted to do was die.

The evening you found out natasha died, your world fell like a dynasty. It crumbled like an old castle on a mountain. Clint came back with the stone in his hands trying to reason with you but you couldn't even look at him. Yelana tried to cope you through the grief but she needed the comfort also.... she lost her sister...It's crazy how your world fell apart in one day. You felt lost, empty, broken, confused. You felt everything at once and you needed it to stop you needed everything and everyone to go away.

The hardest thing you had to do was tell your 6 year old daughter natalie who's birthday was a day after Natasha's birthday "that mama wasn't going to be coming back but she's in a more better and safer place". Your heart broke when you saw your daughters eyes filled with tears as she dropped her teddy bear and ask " do mommy not like me anymore?,did she leave becauseof me?". You hugged her and told her that "that wasn't the case and mommy is just resting and one day you'll see her again".

Even though Natalie wasn't you or Natasha's biological daughter she reminded you of natasha more than ever. Her laugh, her little pout when she didn't even her way, her stubborn personality, her giggles and smiles to the way she would try to do cartwheels all the time but still couldn't land them successful. You saw natasha in everythingshe did or even said. she even had natashas slice red hair color.You wanted to name her after natasha but natasha thought it was weird so you both settled for Natalie.

You would call natasha 'natty' sometimes or even 'tasha' and it's the name name you'd call your daughter by. You'd still remember the way natasha held her, played with her, lift her up when she cried, gaved her candy even when you said no, start prank wars with her against you, braid her hair she they can be twins, bring her toys when she was gone for a long time, read her stories, pick her up from school, buy her smoothies, blow her food for her when it was too hot, sleep in her bed when she had nightmares, teach her Russian. You remembered it all as if it was yesterday.

Part of you wanted to cling onto the memories natasha left you with, the love she inspired you to use, the confidence she made you learn to have the there was this bitter side of you that wanted to forget all about her, and move on. Forget how she would wash your hair, cook your favorite spicy food, gaved you nose kisses, let you wear her sweater, bought you teddy bears that she found cute, the way she would cuddle with you. The way she made love to you... so gentle and caring. You wanted to forget that she even existed. But how evil could you be if you did.

She did exist, and she was a legend. A kind soul, a beautiful human being, a pure person. Someone who cared, someone who loved, someone who provides, someone who protects, someone who shares, someone who teaches, someone who's fights. She was real..... and she was perfect....

Your sad that she's gone but your happy that she was yours. Yours to laugh with and at, yours to love, yours to kiss. She was everything to you and she still is. Because she left you with a beautiful little girl she shines brighter than her. Everytime you look into Natalie's big green eyes you see natasha, everytime you braid her beautiful long red hair, you remember natasha, everytime Natalie didn't get her way and pouted you remember natasha, everytime Natalie laughed, smiled or do something remotely funny or silly or even brave, you remembered natasha.

You remembered her through her clothes, her pictures, her favorite food, her favorite things, her favorite places, her favorite books, her favorite songs. Natasha will always be in your hearts. Always.

Even though she's gone she still hasn't left. Because she's with you in spirit and that gives you comfort. You smile at sunsets because it's what she loved looking at, you take natalie to cloud watching because it's what natasha spent half her childhood doing, you loved doing back bridges with natalie because it's one of the things natasha was good at. You even dyed your hair red because no one rocks the color like she does. You'd laugh at bad Russian pronouncing because she was flawless at hers.

You loved watching action movies because it was something she loved doing....

You chuckled as you kissed her tombstone, falling into your trance again before you were quickly pulled back by a whistle. Natasha and yelenas whistle. You looked back to see yelena chasing your daughter natalie who was chasing a blue butterfly. Natalie giggled as yelena caught her and pushed her down on the ground. Yelena smiled as she tickles the poor girl. You smile at the scene before you, wishing Natasha could see it. But she was... she was smiling from heaven...

" natty" you called out and your daughter turned to look at you. Yelena did too and the name made her heart clench harder than the day she heard about Natasha's death. You saw her eyes flash as the throbbing pain came back to her chest. She sniffed and looked away from you as she helped natalie stand to her feet, dusting her dress and teddy bear from leafs and grass.

" Come here natalie let's say goodbye to mom" you spoke trying to stay strong into front of the little girl, making sure tears don't well in your eyes and your voice don't break but yelena saw right through you.

You daughter ran up to you smiling her pig tales swinging in the wind as her dress flew freely. You daughter huffed as she wiped a strand of hair from her sweaty forehead and sat in your lap. Yelana sitting on the other side of you. You caressed your daughters head as you looked down at her.

" what do you wanna tell mom baby?" You asked and she looked up and placed her tiny finger on her chin.

" ummm" she spoke as she continued to look up, she gasped as she looked at you smiling. She turned to the tombstone and giggled.

" so mama, mommy took me to take out my tooth because it was wobbly and we placed it in a small zip lock bag and put it under my pillow and the tooth fairy gaved me 10 dollars!" She exclaimed clapping her hands. Yelena smiled at her and gasped.

" good job малыш" yelena spoke.

" so mama I got you this teddy bear that says, I miss you because I do miss you" she spoke placing the teddy bear and some flowers on the grass. You sighed trying your hardest not to cry as your daughter kissed the tombstone.

" mommy says one day I can see you again and I hope it's on my birthday so we could have all the cake in the world" she spoke as she giggled.

" good job baby, now say goodbye to mom" you spoke rubbing her back, and she did before running off and doing a cartwheel that she actually finally landed. You smiled at her, yelena has been teaching her for weeks and your happy that she finally learned how to do one. You looked over and yelena and she smiled at you but it didn't reached her eyes. She was in pain... you tapped your shoulder and left, getting in the car with natalie.

You sniffed as a tear broke free but you ket the rest a bay before you broke down.

" I miss you nat, so much..... I love you, keep doing heavens most beautiful angel.... bye my love" you spoke as you kissed her tombstone. You placed the flowers down and took a good look at it.

Natasha romanoff, a mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend and an avenger....

You smiled and walked away. You'll come vist her grave again in the next 3 weeks..... who knows if it will be the last......

[andavs]

I wish you would write a fic where...Stiles is a diver and Derek a gymnast and they show the ropes of their sport to each other like the video Petals shared today

Real talk, I didn’t see the video and thought you meant Stiles was a scuba diver, and I spent way too long tipsily staring at my laptop screen with a pina colada, wondering how on earth you chose these two sports and why. And even after watching the video today, I still don’t know how to talk about these sports. I can’t even do a cartwheel and I have a hazy memory of doing a belly flop off a high dive in elementary school that ended pretty much all enjoyment of watersports for me.

But I did drift off to sleep last night dreaming up ways for gymnast Derek and scuba Stiles to meet:

There’s some kind of gymnastics competition/conference in Hawaii and Derek’s team books scuba lessons! After one round of classes, the rest of the team either plots to set up Derek with Stiles and ditches the next round, or Derek goes ahead and schedules private lessons. They kiss underwater and when they resurface, some kid is yelling at them to get a room because the water is crystal clear and everyone snorkeling saw that shit.

Shit happens in Derek’s personal life so he’s taking a break from his gymnastics career, maybe there’s a career-ending injury, and after a late night Nicholas Sparks tv marathon, he books a trip to Hawaii with no return flight and takes off without really telling anyone. In Sparks fashion, he buys some rundown remote house on the coast that overlooks the ocean and starts to fix it up, and wouldn’t you know it, Stiles gives scuba lessons within view of the deck! Derek doesn’t realize he’s close enough to be seen, but Stiles notices that creeper leering at his students immediately and storms up there to give him a piece of his mind, only to find a very attractive wreck of a person, who wasn’t so much leering as longingly wishing he could have fun too. They rebuild the house together and Derek learns to surf and they live happily ever after.

A Hawaiian gymnastics place/gym/training company? hires former Olympic athlete Derek Hale to come be a coach! Scott either owns or works at the gym, maybe he’s an older gymnast who trains there, but his best friend Stiles hangs out there when he’s not giving scuba lessons. And once he catches sight of the hot new coach, suddenly Stiles unearths a newfound urge to learn how to do a handstand. He spends a lot of time after hours taking informal lessons with Derek, who always refuses payment because he has a crush but he’s too emotionally constipated to just come right out and say it. Stiles is always wearing sweats and a t-shirt, refuses to wear any kind of spandex, but then one day Derek wanders down to the beach and sees Stiles in a wetsuit, the top half unzipped and folded over, and Derek trips over a tourist. Suddenly he has a desperate need to learn the art of scuba diving.

In the first two scenarios, Derek doesn’t like not being great at things, and he’s embarrassed when he isn’t instantly amazing at diving. He clams up when Stiles corrects him on something, and just stopped showing up for a few days the time he got turned around in the reefs and had to be rescued. So to make him feel better about it, Stiles decides to learn some gymnastics to even the playing field.

And how does Stiles take to gymnastics? Badly, and he spends the next few days lying around, more sore than he’s ever been in his entire life, complaining loudly about how he can’t move his arms. Derek doesn’t know why he finds that attractive.

I’m sorry. This is not what you asked for at all, and I would’ve written it out in some way, but I watched one video on scuba basics and gave up without trying.

[theinvulnerabletide]

Space Things: moon, Betelgeuse, Centaurus, sombrero galaxy, wormhole for Whisper; Neptune, aldebaran, delphinus, bode’s galaxy, comet for Oriana; Jupiter, deneb, Phoenix, andromeda, black hole for Maggie; mercury, Canopus, Orion, cigar galaxy, nebula for Lyra; earth, Sirius, Libra, cartwheel galaxy, supernova for Thirteen; mercury, alphard, Cygnus, Milky Way, meteor for Celandine; Uranus, Vega, hydra, sunflower galaxy, pulsar for Az’ar; Pluto, Rigel, Cassiopeia, black eye galaxy, comet for Kori

H’okay this is going under the cut because it is almost 2000 words and got very, very long. I apologize if you are on mobile. 

For Whisper: my terrible disaster tiefling sea sorceress:

Moon: What are you currently studying/hope to study?

Whisper is currently studying like…one and a half things in her free time. Which is taking forever because she’snot exactly a bookish person. She is currently learning Primordial (and is onlyabout 130 days from fluency!) and is muddling her way through spellcomposition.

Betelgeuse: What’s something you can never forget about?

Oh man. There’s a lot of things thatweigh on Whisper’s mind, but her obligations might be the heaviest, especiallywhen her loyalties start to conflict.

Centaurus: Favorite holiday?

Fisher’s Respite. Back home it was likea full-on Irish wake (after a very long church ceremony, which Whisper foundfascinating) and Whisper was even allowed to party with the adults for a littlewhile after she was old enough. Some of her favorite memories are from herfamily’s celebrations.

Her second favorite is probably TheGreat Hunt because of all the food. Though meeting a certain Wizard might havesoured that some.

Sombrero Galaxy: Do you have a crush right now?

Define “crush.” Because Whisper wouldcrush you for insinuating anything. In her own words, she likes most of theparty well enough, finds them all pretty attractive and would probably sleepwith them if she knew they weren’t going to be weird about it.

That’s what she tells herself, and Ithink she’s probably even convinced herself of it. But there’s definitely areason she’s only slept with an old friend and a professional since the partyjoined up. *waggles eyebrows*

Wormhole: What’s something you wish would happen, but knowwon’t?

Whisper has been waiting for a veryspecific thing to happen almost her entire life, and she’s half given up hopeof it ever occurring, so… being told she can come back home.

For Oriana, my aasimar paladin of Wahreight, and the Lady of Ambrose Grove;

Neptune: When’s your birthday?

Oriana doesn’t know her actualbirthday, but she chose day 197 (16 Alma'artius) as the day to celebrate on.

Aldebaran: What’s something you care desperately about?

Doing her job the best of herability. The weird thing about Oriana is that she definitely believes in hercalling, in protecting and serving and making the world a better place. Shedesperately wants to protect the people she cares about and those who can’thelp themselves.

Delphinus: Favorite study?

I won’t say that Oriana hatesstudying, because she was methodical about it growing up and placed pretty highin all of her classes because of it, but she’s not a cleric, so she’s not inthe whole research division. More retrieval and dissemination.

That said, she really is enjoying theent philosophy books that Shade gifted her with, and I’m sure she’ll pick up afew more in the same vein once she’s finished with them.

Bode’s Galaxy: Have you ever had a secret admirer?

Not that she knows of. Though theremight have been someone who came up with her through paladin training and justnever came forward?

Comet: What’s your big dream?

Her dream used to be to make headlibrarian and perhaps get a small temple of her own to administer, but now it’sjust making the town of Ambrose Grove flourish again. She just wants to bringpeace and prosperity to the people she’s been made the guardian of.

For Maggie, my brand-newhuman warlock~

Jupiter: Do you have any siblings?

Yep! Maggie has a younger brother namedJack, who is training to be a wizard.

Deneb: Have you ever been out of your home country?

I don’t think Maggie has even been outof her province. She’s been out of Estwald a few times, to go into the forestto meet her patron, or out to smaller villages to help out with supernaturalthreats, but that’s probably as far from home as she has ever been.

Phoenix: Favorite thing to wear?

Maggie has a thick dark woolen long coatthat she wears in leiu of armor, a blue scarf she usually pairs with it. Theclothes underneath change, but her boots probably never do.

Andromeda: Do you consider yourself social?

Maggie’s entire world basically comesdown to work and her family, out of necessity. Letting people get too closecould expose her and give the Church exactly what they need to see her hung.She’d rather not have that happen.

Black Hole: What’s the last thing you want to see?

The last thing she would ever want tosee is her faerie godmother again. But the last thing she wants to see, like before she dies? Hm. I don’t know. Maybe a sunsetover the ocean; she’s never been to the ocean, but she hears its beautiful.

For Lyra, myhalf-elven rogue/pirate captain of the Star Song.

Mercury: What’s your full name?

Lyra Cooper is her whole name. Her mother never gave her a middle one. 

Canopus: Have you ever broken a bone?

Lyra has broken more than a few bones.Some of them from jumping off of buildings and not being able to stop herselffrom hitting the ground, some of them deliberately done by the head of the thieves’guilds she’s been in to teach her a lesson. She had an arm and her nose brokenby Blackthorne himself.

Once she jumped off the bird’s nestand tried to swing down via a rope, but she missed the rope and hit the deckwrong and broke her ankle.

Orion: Favorite month?

Hm. It would probably be Mirius. Lyraalways did love the spring.

Cigar Galaxy: How’s your flirting skills?

Pretty good, all told, when she turnson the charm. She has been taught how to engage and flirt and be all kinds ofcharming. But she never flirts if it’s not for a specific purpose.

Nebula: If you could undo one thing in your life, what wouldit be?

Her mother’s death. If only hermother had survived, well. Who knows where she’d be now? Definitely not thecaptain of a skyship, but all those intervening years of pain and near-starvationand killing and hurting people for a living would also not have happened, andshe wants that almost as much as she wants to see her mother one last time.

For Thirteen, myfish-out-of-water Tabaxi rogue/monk.

Earth: Where’s your home?

Thirteen hails from a jungle islandoff the main continent of the world we were on. Faraway or something like that?Idk I can’t remember what it’s called and I am Too Lazy to get up and find thecampaign map.

But she grew up in a hidden Tabaxisociety and has since been exiled.

Sirius: Have you ever failed a class?

Hell no she hasn’t. She was in thetop percentile of all her classes because she is that damn good.

Libra: Favorite color?

Gold.

Cartwheel Galaxy: When was your first kiss?

Tabaxi don’t kiss like humans orother humanoids do. I don’t think their mouths are made for it. They do touchnoses though, and I think that would have been at about 16, with some male inher class who she just managed to beat.

Supernova: What’s one thing you want to do before you die?

Find the asshole who killed hermentor and rip his guts open.

Celandine, my preciousgnome wizard prodigy

Mercury: What’s your full name?

Celandine Salvia Darkhollow.

Alphard: Have you ever lost a friend?

Yes, I think she has. Aside from hersister, Greldamine, she had one good friend until she was about 6 years old,Emelina, who lived next door. Celandine doesn’t quite remember if she died orjust moved away, only that when they started 2nd grade, Emelina wasn’tthere.

Cygnus: Favourite weather?

Thunderstorms, definitely. Rain helpsher focus and the lightning provides power for all sorts of experiments.

Milky Way: Who’s your oldest friend?  

I think she would count Greldaminehas her oldest friend, since Greldamine has been there since before she wasborn.  

Meteor: What’s something you wish you could tell, but can’t?

The thing is, Celandine doesn’t havemuch of a filter on her, and she doesn’t know when shutting up is the bestoption, so most of the things she wants to say get said.

Maybe she wishes she could talk toher parents more frankly about what being a teenager is like, but she knows shewould get grounded and her tools taken away if they learned 1/8th ofthe shenanigans her and her friends have gotten up to this first year of highschool.

For Az’ar: the Shadar’kaiLore Wizard

Uranus: What’s your hobby?

Az’ar doesn’t really have anyhobbies. She has one goal and basically everything she does furthers it in someway or another.

Vega: What’s something you’ve done that you wish you hadn’t?

I think the only thing she regrets atall is having to kill so many Shadar’kai on the way out of the Shadowfell. But theywere in her way, and since they were offering her violence, she had to returnit. I bet she regrets not stealing away while most of the tribe were asleep,though, or hiding her attempt to leave better.

Hydra: Favorite sound?

The not-quite silence of an emptylibrary.

Sunflower Galaxy: Would you date/make friends with someoneout of pity?

Oh, hell no she would not. I thinkthe furthest she’d go out of pity is to kill them.

Pulsar: What do you hope to do in the next 10 years?

1.) Determine a non-lich,non-necromatic way to remain alive forever.2.) Become the most powerful mage in all the realms.3.) Find the gods wherever they hide and kill them for good.

Kori: Oh heythat’s me!

Pluto: What time is it right now where you are?

5:56pm, CDT

Rigel: Have you ever gone on a rollercoaster?

I have. And I do enjoy them a lot,though it’s been a while for me. I think the last time was when my family wentup to the Wisconsin Dells and we spent the day at Mount Olympus? Good day.

Cassiopeia: Favorite book?

Oh, gosh. This is such a hardquestion because not only does it change all the time, but I have like 60 ofthem at once.

I’m going to go with the His DarkMaterials series for my favorite books of all time (followed very closely bythe Abhorsen Series by Garth Nix), and my current favorite book is Space Operaby Cathrynne M. Valente, and my favorite short story collection is theConservation of Shadows by Yoon Ha Lee.

Black Eye Galaxy: Do you believe in love at first sight?

Love? No. Weird visceral attraction?Yes. I have had some very intense first eye contact before. And even that muchsounds super weird so I’m going to stop there.

Comet: What’s your big dream?

Oh, man. A partner or two, a house orapartment that’s big enough for everyone, maybe with a yard with just enoughroom for a garden in the back, and a room I can use for a library/office. Abook series that’s actually making money that is still in print, even if I haveto work a job or two on the side of writing. We’re living comfortably andpaying our bills on time and I get to see my friends pretty often, and there’sd&d on the weekends and maybe I get invited to stream stuff occasionally.

That’s really it. Quiet mornings, a cat or two, lotsof reading.