#my sister keeps calling them sister wives so it got me thinking about them lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yandere-wishes · 4 years

Text

Sacrificial Bride Part 1//Twisted Wonderland X Reader//

Alright well, that's enough writing for the next few days if you excuse me I'm going to go sulk in my corner. Huge thanks to @softyswork who’s story about reader being sent to Malleus as a bride inspired this series. Also, I REALLY want to make some sort of modern-day Frankenstein it would be an amazing scientific breakthrough! You'll understand what I mean when you get to Idia's part lol.

💚🐉Malleus Draconia🐉💚

It was a common rumor around your village that ever since the death of the sleeping princess your settlement had never been the same. For you, this was nothing more than a fairy tale meant to spark a scrap of hope in the hearts of naive, suffering children who were still too young to fully understand why their fathers never returned from their hunting trips or why there was barely anything to eat for dinner.

Every time you heard this dreaded tail, you couldn't help but scuff. For as long as you've been alive your town had been in utter disarray and chaos. Monsters from the woods -what the town's folk called "fae"- attacked the village daily. Stealing jewels, destroying homes, sometimes even swallowing children or sucking the blood of the dormant. There was also the looming threat of the green flames. Blazing emerald fires who couldn't be subdued by neither water nor dirt. They advanced further into the territory of the village by each full cycle of the moon. Leaving behind in their trail, thick impenetrable thorn bushes that had taken the homes of many and the lives of many more.

Awful, dreaded creatures those fae where...

But alas you did not yet know just how cruel they could be.

On another periodic morning, your younger sister jolted you awake, dragging you to the town center before you got a chance to change out of your nightgown.

In the center of the square was short man..no...not a man you noticed his pointed drawn back ears. "Fae" you gasped under your breath. But unlike the monstrous fairies that ravished your town taking on the appearances of trees and woodland creatures, this one resembled a boy of 15. The young-looking male began to speak, his voice was clear like crystals, and to his tone bats began to flock overhead. "Truly dreadful, these fairy folk are" your sister uttered in terror as she buried her face in your side.

"Heed my words, mortals. The young prince of thorns has decided to take a wife. By the setting of the sun a full day from today, two of his guards will come to collect your offering. If you chose to disregard this Wa-- friendly advice, then what is left of your town will be decimated before the end of summer. Your children eaten, wives imprisoned and husbands killed!" An unsteady hush rippled through the crowd. Some hothead youths began to throw rocks at the stranger only for the bats hovering above to shield him from the stones. Mothers hugged their children close begging for the man to "just leave".

"If" the man's voice rose once more like a cadaver emerging from the grave " my young master is pleased with your sacrifice than we shall reward you! Bring good health and prosperity to your otherwise sick and decaying village." His last words melted into the open air before he vanished in a cloud of squealing bats and ebony smoke.

The town's folk erupted in screeches, cursing at their deities while simultaneously praying to any god that would listen.

"Help us!"

"save us!"

"Don't let them take our daughters!"

The screams escalated to the point where you had to cover your ears with your shaking hands. Your eyes scanning each of the villager's faces, a pathetic lot they were, you thought to yourself. Scared by the words of a young magician. In a flash, your heart sped up, adrenaline pumping through your veins, as you marched to the center square where the boy had been mere moments ago. You stood tall, cupping your hands over your mouth.

"Listen well you disquiet, mindless lot!"

All eyes turned to you. Some holding looks of confusion, whilst others harbored glances of hope.

"This fae is lying! No way will they be satisfied with just one measly girl! No matter who we sacrifice to their so-called master, they'll still come after us! They'll still destroy our village! Let's not be stupid! Let's find a way to barricade the city instead of arguing over who to sacrifice!"

For an endless second all was quite. It was like the world had stopped turning, frozen in its place in the universe trying to decide what to do.

Then it happened,

Chants reverberating through the air

"Sacrifice her!" "Sacrifice her!"

"Sacrifice her!"........................

WHAT!

NO!

DID THOSE MORONS NOT LISTEN TO A SINGLE WORD YOU SAID!

The crowd started advancing. Eyes locked on your figure like those of a leopard on its prey. Their mouths were all a gap, chanting the words "sacrifice" over and over again. From behind the mob, your eyes locked with your sister's. You could practically feel the despair rolling off her figure as she covered her eyes and fell to her knees, her whole body rattling with a sort of distant rage...

A full day....it's funny how time passes all so quickly no matter what you do. Day in and day out nothing changes, pain is still pain, laughter is still laughter. Time just keeps slipping from between your fingers like sand. Even in the direst of times, Time doesn't show mercy, never once does it cease. It just ticks and ticks away until the inevitable moment arrives.

Your sister and aunt -the only two relatives that you hadn't lost to the fae- were in charge of preparing you for your so-called "wedding". Since your town was poor and isolated from other civilizations there wasn't much they could do to enhance your beauty. Smashing some berries to add color to your lips -and fervently ravishing the remains- using some coal to add shade behind your eyes, as well as around them and patting the dust of rose petals against your cheek. By the end, you hardly recognized the person staring back from the mirror. Sure the adjustments were minor but this was the most stunning you'd ever looked. "Is it almost time" your voice quivered, failing to hide the tears that began to fall. "Please don't cry sweetheart, we don't have any more coal to fix your eyes with." Your aunt's tone was monotone almost bordering on heartless. You couldn't really blame her, she'd gotten so used to having her loved ones plucked from her. One more would be no different. Sniffing as to keep the tears at bay, you nodded slowly. Your glossy eyes locked with your aunt's you could see the same fear and exhaustion in her fading irises as the night her son was slaughtered in front of her.

"Just a few reminders" your sister's voice was cheery like the chirping of early morning birds, but her face mimicked that of a kicked puppies. "Remember when the prince...fae...when he..you know...Oh, Lord please tell me he won't" She was shivering again. Her face twisted in horror. You knew what she was thinking, she was imagining you laying in the bed of that...that thing. She was imagining him entering you, kissing up and down your neck. Leaving patches of red skin over smooth flesh, bruises wherever his clawed hands touched you. She was imagining what was no doubt going to happen to you tonight...

the mere thought made bile rise to your throat.

"Darling, just keep saying how much you like it. It's all any man wants to hear." again your aunt or rather her lackluster form of speech was the rope binding you to your sanity.

"Do fae even have...those parts like humans do?" Your sister asked, only to be met with a glare from your aunt. "Stop wasting time on pointless questions! Hurry up and see if this dress fits your sister."

Sure enough, as you were escorted to where the thorn bushes met the village, two men, one standing tall and proud, whilst the other looked like he may topple over from fatigue at any moment, were awaiting you.

The green-haired man let out a haughty laugh, his blazing eyes scanning you from head to toe. "She's hardly worthy of the young master!" His dreadful voice was like the booming of thunder clouds. "It doesn't matter, Malleus-sama needs to be wedded off quickly so he can produce an heir. None of us are getting any younger by standing here debating the "worthiness" of yet another measly human" the silver-haired male's voice was the exact opposite of his comrades, his voice was soft and breathy like light drizzle after a storm.

The green-haired man looked ready to argue once more, but before he could open his mouth, his violet-eyed counterpart waved something thin in the air casing a pathway to open between the hedges.

It was dark between the brambles. The air was thick, stuffy, every breath was a struggle. Although it seemed neither of your traveling buddies minded the discomfort. Did fae even need air to survive?

After what could have been no less than a couple of hours, your small group made it to a large clearing where only a few rays of the sun leaked through the thick smoky clouds. Miss matched flowers in shades of grey littered the rocky barren ground. Maybe at some point, this place had been beautiful, stunning even...but whenever that time had been it was long gone now.

As you ventured farther into this monochrome land of loss and sorrow, the three of you approached a castle. It towered over everything else, grim in all its glory. "Young master Malleus is awaiting you inside..." The green-haired male's voice trailed off as his speech was interrupted by the deafening creaking of the doors parting open. Without another word the two men dragged you inside, pushing you through spiral staircases and long bleak passageways. Until you arrived at a lavish-looking room, a large throne sitting smugly in the front of the room. It's black, spiked appearance was enough to make you gasp in horror, you didn't desire to meet the monster that perched atop that throne. "Don't be so afraid." the silver-haired man whispers, his head is almost resting on your shoulder. "Malleus-sama is kind and fair. He is sure to love you better than any human ever could." you catch a hint of nostalgic sadness in the last part, like a long lost part of the lavender eyed boy's past caught in his throat like a glass shard.

Trumpets roared through the room blaring as two men, one short and fickle whilst the other tall and brooding walked in. "Malleus~" The short one sang as they both stopped in front of you "Say hello to your lovely new wife." the tall man's emerald eyes landed on you. His lips parted in a threatening smile...or maybe it was a smirk? He didn't seem to be too good at displaying emotions. Slowly he descended onto one knee, slipping your hand into his and kissing the top lightly.

"Hello, my darling little wife."

🧡🦁Leona Kingscholar🦁🧡

The After Glow Savanna was an absolute hell to be born in if your family did not belong to some royal inner court class. The endless days spent scavenging for scraps of food, walking miles for a simple glass of water, had become a sort of broken, habit beaten into the residents of the smaller less fortunate districts.

Eventually, you too would follow in your parent's footsteps, working odd jobs around the neighborhood, getting married to some guy, having kids, and giving them the same dreary life your parents had given you. It was simple -miserable- but simple never the less. In an odd way, you found a sort of comfort in how everything was set in stone. How you'd suffer through a few years then die of starvation or some disease in your husband's arms.

But little did you know that the only comfort you had in your horrible life was also going to be swiped from you.

When Ruggie, a dear childhood friend of yours returned from his prestigious school for the winter holidays you were overjoyed! A week with your best friend was the greatest gift you could ask for! But that excitement soon dulled when he announced to the neighborhood what the royal family had planned for the underdeveloped parts of the country.

"They want to demolish the homes and build parks and shopping strips instead"

The people of your tiny community gasped, shock and hopelessness mixing over their dirty, worn out faces. Some older siblings shielded the ears of their younger kin, some mothers hugged their children closer to their chests. "They can't do that to us!" Your voice was like a beacon through the thick fog of confusion. "We can't let them!" You turned to Ruggie who was seated next to you. His blue-grey eyes held a foreign sadness that you had never seen before. He was hiding something...something so grim that he was forced to shove it into the depths of his soul, locking it up and throwing away the key.

"There is a way..."

For such a hopeful phrase, Ruggie's tone harbored no happiness. You could practically see the tears that were clouding his beautiful eyes. "Tell us" someone from the crowd demanded, others soon joined in with their own chants. For a long moment, Ruggie said nothing, the shouts of despair falling on deaf ears.

"If.." his voice trailed off, as his gaze grew distant.

"If someone from the neighborhood were to marry the second prince..." Gasps of fear filled the air. Even the mere mention of the second prince's name was enough to send chills down people's spins.

"Then they could, as the newly appointed princess, convince the royal family and counsel to scrap this monstrous plan." No one uttered another word. No one was brave enough to face the man who could destroy anything with a simple touch.

But the sake of these people, people who had nothing but their families and a muddy roof over their head was on the line.

Do something, a tiny voice in your head screamed, save them, it begged. You shifted your head so to get a glimpse of Ruggie's face. "I-" you began but were cut off before you could even finish.

"I know you would say that."

His voice broke over every syllable. He knew you would give up your depressing nostalgia for the sake of others. Life in the castle would be hell, being married to that monster would be something worst than the dwellings of the devil.

It was a speedy arrangement, so fast that your head didn't have time to process anything. In the end, it almost seemed like the royal family was desperate to find a spouse for their youngest son.

Just marry him! Was what all the absentee looks told you.

Early that morning, Ruggie had dragged you to the castle, all tears, and grumbles. The palace guards let him in with no restrain, it almost felt like he'd been here before. Your childhood friend led you to a room in the further corner of a grand hall. He told you to stay outside as he went in to chat with the prince. Moments later the newly appointed king and queen came to usher you into a privet room and discuss the marriage. Not an hour later your fate had been sealed, you'd be married off to prince Leona tomorrow at sunrise. For "historical purposes" your neighborhood would be preserved and even taken care of. 'Historical purposes' you thought 'more the like a bribe to get you to marry this beast.

that night you were dragged this way and that by the queen herself. Taken for fitting after fitting. Trying on hundreds of wedding dresses who's prices could feed every mouth in your neighborhood for months! "Leona isn't very classy" the queen sighed in disappear. "He would probably prefer you to be in something laxer, shorter if you will" the tailors ran around trying to find something that would fit her vague description, as you stood facing her royal highness.

"What's he like?" you asked soullessly

"Spoiled, although not as heartless as the rumors make him out to be" She didn't seem to like giving straight answers

"will he harm me? It was an honest question, although the lack of thinking it took before the queen replied made your heart skipped a beat.

"Quite possibly, he is rather...aggressive at times. Just don't let his degrading comments get to you. He's not used to being around people"

The more she described the second-born prince the more it seemed she was actually speaking of some feral dog that had raised in isolation.

Oh, how doomed you were.

The wedding was even faster than the preparation. Ruggie walked you down an aisle of flowers, walking over the petals, killing them once and for all, ending their pointless existence. You stood by your self at the altar awaiting your husband to be. It took a rather long time before the doors were flung open and the king waltzed in carrying his struggling brother under his arm. "No need to worry, Leona was taking one of his catnaps again and forgot about today's events" the king announced, in what could only be described as a mock lively tone.

How on earth does someone forget their wedding! This prince really wasn't a typical human...heck you where beginning to think that the feral dog would have made a better groom.

snap, snap

A few magazine pictures here, a couple of family photos there...

Everything was so bright and loud...

right before you and the second prince were thrown into the darkness of his room. In the obscurity, you could ONLY make out the glowing of his emerald eyes.

You could feel him shifting closer, all the while you took shaking steps backwards. " I thought wives were supposed to leap into the arms of their husbands? Tell me little herbivore do I frighten you?"

Your voice refused to leave your throat, too afraid to come into contact with the prince.

"What's the matter? Did they not teach you to speak in on the streets you grew up on. Poor thing~"

Leona pounced across the room, tackling you to the ground. His sheer weight pinning you to the carpeted floor. The sound of fabric tearing echoed through the silence.

How careless these royal were was the only intelligible thought that came to your frenzied brain.

Goosebumps littered your skin as Leona's claws cut into your flesh. His lips kissed over each wound as he made his way up to your cherry painted lips.

"You look so cute, you know, like a little mouse about to get devoured by a starving lion."

💙💀Idia Shroud💀💙

The rhythm of his heartbeat was slowing down, it felt like the patter of ants atop one's flesh. He was dying...this was an irreversible fact. The love of your life was dying and there was nothing you could do but sit idly by and watch the life fade from his pale bruised face. Your thumb ran over his knuckles in robotic-like strokes. Hours had passed, you'd shed all the tears that you had. He was gone...that was all there was to it.

For a hopeless second, you flicked your eyes to the open window on the opposite side of the room, There was never any sun on the island of lamination but regardless today seemed brighter than any other day. "How cruel" you muttered in a deadpan voice. Outside something...or better yet...someone was running through the fields, chasing what looked like a butterfly. The young child had blazing blue hair a symbol of the Shroud family...

THE SHROUD FAMILY

Your breath hitch in your lungs, your heart began to pound furiously in your chest. They could help you though hopefully. There family where distant relatives of the god of the underworld and a few years back -to your regulation- the hair of the family had been able to semi revive his younger brother. If he was able to bring back a child from the dead than surly they would have no problem returning your lost lover to you.

Your eyes waltz over his dormant face one last time before you got up and ran for the door.

"This is all for you my love, all of this is for you"

The Shroud family mansion was located at the top of one of the many hills that plagued the island. It was a dark grisly building that resembled the castles from old tales, where monsters laid dormant. Rumors spiraled around the rural civilization, some saying that the family was cursed by the lord of the dead, whilst others claimed that the shroud family were the long lost descendants of the lord of the dead and the maiden of spring. The curse had been placed on the family by the temperamental mother of the maiden of spring, anathematizing the family to be plagued with death and disappear for the rest of eternity.

Regardless of what their misfortune was, they may very well be the last people on earth who could help you. Surely if the family had brought back their youngest than they could bring back your lover!

You knuckles tapped furiously at the old metal doors of the frightful residence. The rhythm was unkept, unsteady, it's mere sound radiated urgency.

"PLEASE HELP ME"

Your throat burned as you screamed out those three lousy words.

After what felt like forever, the doors cracked open, revealing a tall man obscured by the shadows. Any light that touched the interior of the house seemed to die acidity, making peering inside nearly impossible.

"What business do you have?" The man's voice was croaky as if his vocal cords hadn't been used in years. For a split second, you closed your eyes, trying to organize the thoughts in your head. "My...my...h-hus...lover, my lover is d-dead...o-or rather he is dying....probably fully gone by now..." despite the mess of stuttered letters and mixed-up words, the man seemed to understand your situation. With a long sigh, he pulled you into the somber house.

Fingers still wrapped tightly around your wrist he pulled you around, guiding you through the darkness until you reached a large room lit only by the mysterious blue flames of the fireplace. Sitting by the warmth was a...well it was hard to tell, her face -despite it displaying every bone of her visage coupled with dark sunken eyes- resembled that of a woman no older than thirty, whilst her body resembled a decaying skeleton. What was she? Was she the lady of the residence or yet another monster this bizarre family had created.

"My, love" the man began to speak, his voice was somehow cleared like it had been given some sort of jolt. "This young lady needs Idia's help, she wants to bring back her lover from the dead."

The woman said nothing, her eyes staring ahead, burning a hole in the wall right by your head. "What will she give him in return" despite her "deteriorating" appearance her voice was like soft silk on one's skin, melodious and fair.

"Why herself!" This time the man's voice boomed across the house, echoing through the hallways and falling on you like a cave in.

"M-myself! What the hell do you mean!"

"It sounds fair" the women agreed "my darling sweet son saves your lover and instead you agree to marry him! Oh how wonderful, just like in the tales about grandfather Hades!"

She seemed too thrilled about this, her snow-white eyes gleaming with a sort of delusional passion.

"Idia! Idia honey! Come down your father has a surprise for you!"

The hollow sound of footsteps soon filled the quiet air. Followed by another soft blue glow.

Was there no normal fire in this house?

But it wasn't fire, not exactly. When your eyes fell on the heir of the Shroud family, you suddenly felt a nervous wave crash over you. There was something -even more- unsettling about him, he looked nothing like his charming little brother. For one his hair wasn't...well hair! Sure you'd expect a small batch of blazes heading upwards but this was something else entirely! It resembled a large bonfire that floated towards the ground, rouge sparks falling in every which direction, sizzling and then dying abandoned on the floor. And his eyes, Miosis like pupils floating around in a pool of lemon yellow.

But all the physical appearances aside, the most unsettling thing about him was the gloomy aura that leaked off him, suffocating anyone in his presence. Nervously you took a step back only to be yanked forward again by the taller man.

"Idia baby!" His mother ran over to him, cradling his hands in hers "This cute young lady has agreed to marry you if you can save her lover, just like in that old tale about your great grandfather! Oh, my this is all so romantic!"

It seemed like no one here understood that you were in love WITH SOMEONE ELSE! Or maybe they did and chose to disregard it. Instead, using the bits they retained as kindling to feed their raw excitement. You shifted your gaze back to Idia's face. To your utter terror, he was...smiling? Could that...look...even be called a smile? It seemed more like the way a shark would bare its teeth at a defenseless seal! Oh, gods please don't let this...thing...be your future husband!

"It should be easy enough," His golden gaze landed on you "W-when did...did he die?" it took a few moments before you register that he was talking to you or technically asking you something. "A...A few..." your voice cracked, tears streaming down your eyes.

"So recently...okay that shouldn't be a p-problem." He turned on his heels and walked back into the seclusion of the halls "I'll grab some things and meet you by the front door"

A few things ended up being a pile of wires and bolts. Something that looked like a light blue ball of energy and so many tools whose names seemed to go over your head.

Idia was kneeling by your lover's bed, pulling apart the skin and fusing metal in its place. Your darling's chest was cracked open, his ribs poking out towards the sky as if praying for life from the lord of the sky. Every once in awhile Idia would pull out a long tool with smoke floating from the top. He'd lay it on an organ watching as the tissue fiber sizzled away under the heat. He would then tie wires and small circular batteries inside.

"His heart stopped working, I'm guessing from some sort of shock"

You just hummed in response, too caught up in how the man you loved was beginning to look like a modern-day Frankenstein rather than a human being.

The sun had long since faded when Idia finally got up from his spot. His bones cracked and screeched at the sudden change, his muscles giving out halfway leaving him to rely on the wall for support to stand. Your lover's chest had been sewn back and covered with a silver piece of metal. His neck was wrapped in the same sort of alloy. His left arm had been cut open so Idia could shove the energy ball inside than cover it, leaving a small enough gap for wires that stretched from his chest to weld into the ball.

"He just needs a boost" Idia murmured that shark-like grin overtaking his pale face once more. From the side table, he plucked up to jumper cables and clipped them on either side of his neck. Jolts and crackles filled the room and sparks flew in every direction, the once-dead body shuffled around, arms and legs moving at random. You shrieked and duck behind Idia.

Only then did he pry the clips from his neck.

Nothing

for too long nothing happened... then there was a slight wiggle in one finger, then another. His eyes slowly began to prey open, looking over his surroundings. The moment his confused gaze feel onto you. Idia turned you around to face him, clumsily smashing his blue chapped lips onto yours.

From the corner of his eyes, Idia watched as the other man began to understand what was happening...even if he was just resurrected there was still agony at the sight of his lover kissing another...

Good! That should show him who you belonged to now!

2K notes · View notes

bibiana112 · 3 years

Note

"tbh I've got SO many more songs on zero escape" PLEASE SHARE THE ZE PROJECTION SONGS... I REQUIRE THEM

Oh shIT did NOT expect this xD BUT AIGHT *rubs hands together*

I'm gonna limit myself to 9 recommendations, okay? Both so I don't expose myself too much and so we're not here all day, also like a good part of them are Kurashiki sibs centric but if you came to me for this that's probably to be expected lmao

🕰️Chronexia and the Eight Seals Opening - Rewind Sooo if you don't know the deal with this one, it's from an anime directed by a youtuber that Absolutely Bombed and got trashed as soon as it's only episode came out, but the song is genuinely good. So, call that recycling when I heard the lyrics and gave it a super deep meaning by associating the vague time travel bs with Junpei as he's going through 999. Yo, it literally has a line that is "Till I find the right road. Once more, for Love and for Hope, for fate not known" like aww, it's like, half the leaf words :3

⚰️Marina - Pandora's Box Marina songs are always top notch, can't recommend her enough, and I often think her songs have Akane vibes. Though this one in particular feels like a Junepei song more so from Junpei's perspective, the bridge "I don't wanna be the bearer of pain just so we can survive" and so many other bits that are sung softly while being a clear jab remind me how much he wanted Akane to acknowledge the emotional pain she put him through All while praying that not all hope is lost for them to be together in the end

🎭 Splendiferachie- Reversible Campaign Certified Akane song, Hatsune Miku is even wearing a gas mask on it. This cover is so good and the lyrics very much have Junepei vibes too. It has a bit of a stageplay motif at times and many bits have SUCH Akane realizing it's another wrong path energy like "Oh... is this the end? Of course it's Not! Can't take it anymore-". Also like, the ending bit I don't even want to spoil because the lyrics break my heart within the context of, specifically, vlr Akane thinking about Junpei because at that point she would Really rather not have her feelings getting in the way :'3

⛓️Chicago - Cell Block Tango It's a bit of a meme song, and I definitely recommend the No Talking edit, but I LOVE IT. Vengeful but Justified ™ Kurashikis my beloveds. The bit "If you had been there, if you had HEARD IT. I bet that you would have done the same!" Makes me directly think about Light because yeah he was there, yeah he heard what went down, and yeah, if it was his sister he probably would have... Yeah. Man I could keep going with the lyrics on this one but it's very on the nose, no need of me spelling it all out lol

🎟️ JubyPhonic - Dramaturgy Kurashiki vibes because the song goes SO Hard with the whole stage play motif. Like, this one I could pick apart to draw parallels, like, Eeverywheere, gosh. I mean that, but for the sake of brevity I'll just say there are bits that sound like they'd fit Akane's perspective better, bits that'd fit Aoi's better, and even bits where I imagine them having an exchange! The briefest example I can muster is all the bits of "Well, take a breath 'cause you'll need it, so c'mon." or "Take a deep breath, you know how this will all end." as they're like getting ready and psyching themselves up to Do the Things. Aaahh there are like SO Many other good bits hhh this is one of my faves x3

🌹BlackBriar - Snow White and Rose Red This one is honestly just one of my favorite songs in general and i wanna recommend it, Friend shared it and let me know that the story is about two sisters after I thought they were wives at first because the singers are so gorgeous had no idea but, yeah, Rose Red is just apparently a way less known fairytale than her sister Snow White :v I don't care much for the chorus with the context of the Kurashikis, but the bits where they introduce themselves makes me think about how they saw each other before everything went to hell. And the whole story about them being forcefully separated... it honestly makes me emotional to listen near the ending when they're crying out for the other with these two in mind :'<

🌌 The Walking Dead Game - Don't be Afraid/The night will be over soon I almost didn't wanna mention this one since I can't quite pin down a specific version, there's a few depending on which characters sing and how far it goes, but I feel very strongly about it so here. The ominous short version used in the official ps4 trailer is one that makes me think about the endings leading up to vlr because it goes up to "Nevermind the blood red moon, the night will be over soon" HOWEVER the full version that is a duet by different characters is much more soft and hopeful and makes me think of the aftermath of every game Other than vlr, funny how that clicks together. Like, I can think of almost every character having the smallest bit of peace at next morning light after such terrible experiences, since the lyrics go up to "Beyond the dark comes something new. The Sun will be rising soon." All the kids after being saved, Lotus with her daughters, Clover and Light resting, Kurashikis relieved to have pulled it off, Akane and Junpei engaged, D-Team hugging, just.... all the fluffy feels man

🖱️Penelope Scott - Rät Phi vibes from this one just from the like how much bite the singer puts into this one? Like the attitude is So Phi and it has some bits that make me think about Sigma is some way too? I don't really have a consistent interpretation of how this would fit their situation but the vibes are So Strong. Like "I come from scientists, and atheists and white men who killed god. They made technology, high quality, complex, physiological. Experiments, and sacrilege, in the name of public good." and "When I said take me to the moon, i never meant take me alone. I thought if mankind toured the sky it meant that all of us could go." for example

☕ Penelope Scott - Lukewarm Again, not much of a consistent interpretation and has quite a few non family-friendly and/or intense bits that can be upsetting if themes of suicide are a big trigger for you (so uh headphones on, at the very least) it just makes me think of shifting as the concept is presented in general with stuff like "Slit your throat and die and wake up the next day" and other things on that vein, the way the songs goes it's about there being a repeated bad thing™ that starts to get numb "Oh what I would give to care enough to scream." so yeah, very close to what a bunch of characters go through so it depends, mostly I think of Phi, Sigma even ztd Junpei while listening to it

And that's it! Hope you enjoy giving these a listen Anon! This was fun and I STILL have many others if anyone wants to know Shout-out to all the songs I left out cause I'm making art based on them, fingers crossed for me actually finishing all of that!

#oh damn i just read through this again and realized how many times I went :3 #I dunno what to tell you but that's what best represents the emotion i get from sharing this so Thanks for the ask :3 #goddamn i love zero escape #a tag for asks #zero escape

15 notes · View notes

my-sherlock221b · 3 years

Text

Supernatural Rewatch Ramblings: Bloodlust

2020-21 has been a huge transformative time for many of us. Whether we wanted it or not, we have been forced to stop, switch gears, rethink, reflect, let go, make new priorities, discover who we really are and who we want to be in the face of adversity.

One of those transformations for me has been giving up on control and finding a way to surrender to the power of the universe. Another has been to not let perfection be the enemy of good.

You may well wonder---What does all this have to do with the Bloodlust rewatch and review??!

Probably nothing LOL except for the fact that I still have to write up my review on Bloody Mary and have been unable to write for various reasons. And then because the Bloody Mary review was still incomplete I could not write about the next one etc etc etc.

So when we watched Bloodlust two days ago in the continuing re-watch, I decided that I am going to re-start the review, and from exactly where I am right now!

If time and life permits I might fill in the gaps later. If not, well, life is unpredictable and weird and we keep calm as it carries on….Thank you for coming to my Philosophy talk….:)

Read below for the Boodlust review, Season 2 episode 3 and look out for the post from @soulmates-for-real on this rewatch too!!

The opening scene is the perfect switch and bait because we as an audience have been trained to latch on to types and identities and representations.

Woman in white night gown screaming and running--victim

Person who brutally beheads her—villain.

A few minutes into the episode we realize that we were wrong.

A good few minutes later we realize that we were wrong about being wrong.]

Haha.

We are idjits, swept away on the eddies and currents of this masterfully written and directed episode. Thank you Sera Gamble and Robert Singer!

The acting and the mesmerizing beauty of the two leads is worthy of an entire essay of its own but in order to have a life and finish this review I shall only say this—Oh my goodness HOW gorgeous is Jensen Ackles?!!

It is sometimes impossible to look at him in this episode because my eyes didn’t know where to land! That perfect face? The lips? Those eyes?? The quirk of the eyebrows? Those micro expressions that are constantly weaving across his face? The smile? The way his lips move when he talks?? His hair? The Samulet?

And then the shot pans out and includes his hand and the ring and honestly it’s a miracle I could follow the plot at all.

So the images I am going to include in this review, much as I love Sam Winchester and Jared Padalecki, are all of Dean Winchester. It’s a criminal waste to not do so when the man is just an ode to perfection.

Sheila O’Malley’s review of this episode is in itself a work of art and a thing of beauty so I will direct you most enthusiastically towards it and only add here my little pennyworth bits. Do click on this link but be prepared to sink into a one hour read which will make you feel like you were dropped into the episode itself.

https://www.sheilaomalley.com/?p=87187

Here is a quote from her review which is so insightful.

These are the details that a director like Robert Singer never misses, and at this point his relationship with Ackles and Padalecki would be almost telepathic (it’s probably 100% telepathic now). He has said before that he and Kripke were such a good team because Kripke’s primary concern is Plot/Gore/Horror and Singer’s primary concern is Character/Relationship. And they both end up in the same place. It’s a good mix. If Singer were also Plot/Gore/Horror focused, we wouldn’t have the depth of relationship which is the real point of the show, its real hook.

For a much briefer and far less technically adept and analytical review, read on here!

The opening of this episode shows us the Impala from every possible angle. Gleaming, gorgeous, road -worthy. This is mirrored by Dean. He is also gleaming, gorgeous and roadworthy. He is in a happy mood that not even Sam’s little brother snitty comments can deflate.

Here is the soundtrack of this episode for those who are interested.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0835248/soundtrack

Here is some random but fun trivia:

Dean tells Sam in one scene "If it's Supernatural, we kill it." One of the rare times the title of the show is actually spoken in the dialogue.

This is the first episode where Sam began parting his hair down the middle, the hairstyle he'd keep the rest of the series.

( I didn’t like his hair too much in this episode honestly but then again I could barely see anyone beyond Dean :D)

During the filming of this episode Jared injured his hand when he fell badly during a stunt. He thought it was merely sprained and went straight into filming the next episode without having it checked. But it got more and more painful and finally he went to the doctor and discovered that his hand was, in fact, broken. Because he had already begun filming, he couldn't bandage the hand until filming for that episode was finished. The writers ended up writing in an accident for Sam and his line "I think she broke my hand" to explain the fact that for the following few episodes he would be wearing a cast.

When Dean kills a vampire, blood is sprayed on his face, mostly on his right cheek. In the next shot the pattern is different, and notably the right cheek is almost clean. Furthermore, his mouth was agape when he made the kill, risking the blood getting into his mouth and turning him into a vampire. While the brothers didn't yet know how a vampire is made at that point, Gordon did and should have been alarmed that Dean might have gotten some of the blood in his mouth.

A random behind the scene shot from the episode:

Guess who she is? Apparently this is Jensen’s sister in a super brief role in Bloodlust!

On to the review, or rather some of my thoughts during the re-watch.

The first scene with the Sheriff they are interrogating him about the cattle mutilations is hilarious. The way they bluff their way into the morgue is hilarious. Dean always leading and Sam following.

Random trivia: When Dean enters the morgue with Sam and sees the name tag of "J Manners", it has been thought the name was to honor Jeffrey Dean Morgan and series producer Kim Manners. Dean guesses "John" - Jeffrey's character name - and the intern corrects with "Jeff"

It a testament to the way Supernatural has trained its audience that we barely blink when they pull out a decapitated head in the morgue, squabble over who is more chicken, dig into the mouth and eventually discover vampire fangs.

Yes, of course they do.

Next scene: Two hot guys walk into a bar…..

…….where the adorable Benny, who is not Benny in this episode but a random dude ( spoilers—later we find out the dude is a vampire), gives them directions/ mis- directions to a possible vampire nest.

We see the first glimpse of Gordon Walker, amazingly played by Sterling K. Brown, and making us worry about and dislike him almost right away. The way he is shown with the light and shade bars on his face from the window blinds is so menacing.

The next few scenes continue to build that sense of unease where the Winchester brothers, apparently telepathically, decide to double back and catch him following them, then he shows them his car and his weapons, where he references their dad and then refuses their offer for help.

The scene where he shows them his car is like a painting. (The car by the way is just as inconspicuous as the Impala –which is to say NOT AT ALL!! How do these people stay below the radar of the regular law enforcement is a mystery….).

The dust highlighting the rays of light, the two brothers on one side of the car and Gordon at the other, it’s all so consciously set up for a few seconds worth of screen time. Impressive!

Next comes a truly brutal kill, at Dean’s hands, which we don’t even see except as a spray of blood on his face. Poetic! But it is Dean’s expression that makes my stomach clench. His eyes are dead and he is somewhere deep that even Sam can’t reach, as we can see from the distress on Sam’s face.

Gordon of course is all chipper and full of bonhomie and offers to buy them drinks.

That following scene is the one which gives Wincest brother-wives vibes like 100%.

Sam plays the role of the disgruntled ‘wife’ to perfection. No one but hubby is allowed to use the nickname. He hates the male bonding going on with Gordon and the more Gordon seems to slip into Dean’s inner circle, the more uncomfortable Sam gets, until he finally decides that he just cannot physically be there any more.

Dean’s smug expression when Sam tells Gordon off for calling him Sammy, his instant worry at Sam going back alone, his hand raised in exasperation to convey to Gordon—look what I have to put up with-- the tossing of the keys to his car----it is all a symphony of Dean playing his part in the brother-wives orchestra.

The last line?! ‘Remind me to beat the buzzkill out of you later.’ And Sam’s expression at that? That’s exactly the way a bullying /abusive husband would react to a nagging wife who doesn’t like his toxic friends and wonders how he can be so blind as to not see them for the bad influence they clearly are.

( Bad Dean!!!)

Sam goes back to the motel and does his due diligence by checking with Ellen, gets kidnapped by vampires, released and on his return is disgusted to find Gordon inside their motel room.

The next scene is where Dean erupts, having clearly had enough of the shifting power dynamics between them over the evening. Sam has been silently judging him since the kill and Gordon has managed to ‘other’ Sam and make Dean feel validated in his own bloodlust as a hunter.

Dean clocks Sam one.

Wow. I did not see that coming. And what shocked me at this re- watch is that Sam just takes it.

Like an abused wife, he just takes it. Not only that, sometime later in the episode he tells Dean to hit him again if it is going to make him feel better.

NO Sam! NO!!! This is NOT healthy and this is NOT the way to deal….ugh. Sigh.

Then the second half of the episode swings in and the moral dilemma they face becomes clear when the victim and villain switch roles and Dean is shook enough to question his dad’s judgement!

Dean is still kind of trying to give Gordon the benefit of the doubt even though he sees him literally torturing the vampire. But of course all bets are off the instant he touches Sam. Dean pulls his gun on him. I was surprised that he didn’t shoot him just on principle later simply because he hurt Sam even if it was a small cut.

That is Dean’s definition of monsters-- Anything that hurts Sam. 😊

We don’t know it at this time, and spoilers ahead, but maybe Dean has been so annoyed and violent with Sam at the idea that he is standing up for MONSTERS is because he might also be one….and the way he looks at the end when he realizes that his whole life’s philosophy has been upended.

There are the details about the vampires who drink cattle blood so they don’t harm humans and therefore want to be treated as the good guys. Of course it is all about the inherent struggle between who you are and what you do—something that shows up hugely magnified in the later seasons when Sam is struggling with his own demon blood addiction and the knowledge of the demon blood inside him.

He needs desperately to believe in this as the utmost foundation stone of his life and its purpose—what you DO is more important than what you ARE!

So even if you are a monster, if you don’t behave like one—that is your redemption.

But it’s not just anybody whose faith he wants in his struggle to prove to himself that he is not a monster. He needs it from Dean.

Remember the dialogue from the panic room “Don’t you say that to me. Don’t YOU say that to me.”

And the fake voicemail set up by Zachariah exploits this at the time of the breaking of the last seal.

Of course he doesn’t know any of this yet, but that’s Sam fucking Winchester for you –always purer and better than his circumstances allow. Always struggling to do better, be better.😍

It is fascinating how the visuals and the roles these two play are of rugged handsome men, badass heroes-- Dean of course super macho role playing all the time. But there are so many layers upon layers and honestly if it wasn’t for Jared and Jensen’s fine nuanced and impeccable acting adding depth to the characters, the show would not have held our interest for this long.

We are shown Sam as the brains with his lore and research, but then in the very next episode (Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things), we see Dean connect dots faster than Sherlock Holmes.

Dean is shown as the instinctively violent one with the gun under his pillow, trigger happy, and in this episode even that brutal kill of the vampire on the docks. But then please remember the way Sam kills Gordon finally. Or the insane way he bites himself to get blood for drawing sigils. Or the way he just simply shoots the crossroads demon point blank!

We see Sam as the soft hearted one and he does rescue kids once in a while, but he is never shown to bond with them even a fraction of the way Dean does—so effortlessly. Also the ladies of course, all of whom have a soft spot for Dean. The exceptions being Sarah and Madison, both of whom completely ignored Dean. Oh and that doctor from Sex and Violence.

Dean has had his share of bad dates of course with Cassie, the woman who gave birth to his magical superfast growing daughter ( who was killed by Sam), and the whole Lisa arc, but somehow we are shown Sam as the one who is invested in relationships. Hello?! Sam was planning to marry Jessica without having told her a thing about his life while Dean told Cassie the secret as soon as he thought he was in love and wanted a relationship.

So anyway, just to say that a rewatch is so brilliant because we know more about them at this point than they do and the character arc is such a thing of beauty to see unfolding!

That last scene where Dean is in a thoughtful frame of mind, the sun is rising overhead ( as a metaphor for him seeing the light, maybe?)--that insanely gorgeous shot of Dean with the ring of fire and light and his absolutely perfect face in a close up…sigh.

Then he thanks Sam for pushing him to see this grey area and for the first time in that episode Sam finally smiles.

His big brother is back with him.

And then he commits to Dean too. Ah…how it warms my heart to hear this dialogue!

DEAN I wish we never took this job. It's jacked everything up.

SAM What do you mean?

DEAN Think about all the hunts we went on, Sammy, our whole lives.

SAM Okay.

DEAN What if we killed things that didn't deserve killing? You know? I mean, the way Dad raised us...

SAM Dean, after what happened to Mom, Dad did the best he could.

DEAN I know he did. But the man wasn't perfect. And the way he raised us, to hate those things; and man, I hate 'em. I do. When I killed that vampire at the mill I didn't even think about it; hell, I even enjoyed it.

SAM You didn't kill Lenore.

DEAN No, but every instinct told me to. I was gonna kill her. I was gonna kill 'em all.

SAM Yeah, Dean, but you didn't. And that's what matters.

DEAN Yeah. Well, 'cause you're a pain in my ass.

SAM Guess I might have to stick around to be a pain in the ass, then.

DEAN Thanks.

SAM Don't mention it.

Transcript here http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/index.php?title=2.03_Bloodlust_%28transcript%29

Guess Sam does stick around for the next 15 years to be a pain in the ass 😊

Some quotes from the writers about this episode:

· "The episode was really about what Dean would become if he didn't watch out: that Gordon was Dean in ten years if Sam didn't ask the difficult questions and keep him from getting too militant." - Executive story editor Sera Gamble

· "We set out to create a monster episode where you weren't entirely sure whether these monsters should be killed." - Eric Kripke

· "For me, the show is at its best when the supernatural story reveals something new about the brothers, or forces them to change in some way. Sam and Dean's realization that they've basically been raised as 'monster racists' was really meaty stuff. Exploring these characters' flaws is just as important as showcasing their heroism - these are the things that make them human, that make us invest in them." - Raelle Tucker

Check out this site for more amazing trivia and stuff

http://www.jonescave.com/supernatural/Episode/Episode.php?s=2&e=3#PopCulture

I have already finished watching the next episode ‘Children’s Shouldn’t play with Dead Things’….so let’s hope I get around to writing a review sometime soon !

#spn #spn review #spn meta #sam and dean #bloodlust #the epic love story of sam and dean #wincest #brother wives

14 notes · View notes

decennia · 3 years

Note

Ok I just gave up catching up on my dash full stop because Clementine and George and Wildest Dreams got my brain like this:

I feel I desperately need to make an OC for George but he is YOUR precious lol

So instead while I'm here, give me and I mean GIVE all your George and Clementine headcanon

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I WAS FINISHING UP SOME GIFS ✨

First things first, that image lives in my mind rent free.

Second things second, please create an OC for George holy shit please yes?! George has already been romantically (or at least sexually, because Sable is a hoe) linked to Ellis Grant from @chlobenet (nothing ever came of it, George developed an infatuation and was perpetually rebuffed by our Lord and Saviour Miss Grant), @perfectlystiles' Laurel Chase, and @randomestfandoms-ocs' Reese Masrani. It is my goal to accumulate enough George Cassidy romantic interests that I can make a Wives of Henry the Eighth edit, so literally go nuts. Everyone, Create An OC To Thirst Over George Cassidy Challenge!

The best thing about George and the other Corpsemen is that the only thing that makes them Jurassic World OCs is that they happen to be hired there. It is by no means their entire story, and although they've been around for literally three days (?!) I keep thinking of more and more things about them and I keep building their backstories to the point where dinosaurs are literally the least craziest thing they've experienced.

If I were to sum up Clem and George's relationship in a gif, though:

(This got hella out of hand so keep reading under the cut if you want to know more about George and Clementine.)

A brief history on George "Sable" Cassidy and Clementine "Calico" Roscoe:

He is known as "George" to his friends, and "Cassidy" to his enemies. "Sable" when he's on the job, and "hers" when they're alone.

But it wasn't always like that. I'm not going to bore you with the details about George's fatherless upbringing, or his reasons for joining the British military, or how he'd always been a bit of a troubled kid. Where his story really begins is when he directly disobeys orders and murders the military hostages who were responsible for the attack on his unit. He is dishonourably discharged, and is sent back to the U.K. to await trial for murder and treason.

He manages an escape and goes dark; during which time, Clementine Roscoe, an agent at Interpol, is assigned his case. Unfortunately, after a year of searching (one close call where he was literally within breathing distance of Roscoe ) and a thousand too many mistaken sightings after that, the case goes cold, and she is assigned another case, one which results in the death of her entire family.

Clementine resigns from her position after she is denied leave to pursue the murderers, and spends the next few years methodically hunting down and executing the list of people she knew to be responsible. It was enough to impress Malcolm Drake, who located and recruited her into the Corpse Corporals (aka Gucci Suicide Squad).

All this time, Cassidy had been residing in Southern Africa, making a hefty living as a poacher under ever-changing pseudonyms (I had to make y'all understand that Sable is a bad man but y'all be forgiving Tom for murder and incest so here we are but honestly did it even work because here I am, being fooled, alongside you 😭). He runs a pretty decent operation, also dabbling in the smuggling of weaponry, and he lives a comfortable life. That is, until he is betrayed by his business partners (a brother-sister duo, FCs Megan Fox and Aidan Turner? Idk, still debating) and pushed out of the business under threat of death.

He is rescued by Malcolm, who has managed to track him down, and in exchange for his life spared, he agrees to work for Malcolm. His reunion with Clem is incredibly tense, with both of them pulling their guns on each other and refusing to work together. Malcolm snaps some sense into them (that, and the sum of the payload which had so many 0's added to the end, you couldn't be sure what the number really was other than "a lot") and they swallow their pride and work together.

They would continue to work together as Calico and Sable for the years to come, and when I say it is a slow burn, I do mean THE SLOWEST OF THE SLOW. But there is definitely a fuck ton of sexual tension thrown in there for angst, and a couple of near brushes with death (hazard of the job, really).

George is a prolific man whore, and he's bisexual and proud. So Clem has gotten used to an endless slew of people of all genders cumming coming and going from his hotel room, especially during the long cons where the Corpsemen go deep undercover for months at a time (Hector doesn't come on those jobs, he's got a family to worry about. He taps out at a month, max, if he doesn't get to leave to see his family).

George Cassidy is not a man who is used to not getting what he wants, but Clementine Roscoe is the only exception to that rule. He has come to view her as "unobtainable," this irreverent forbidden thing that he must not ruin. By the time the heat of their mutual hate had dissipated, it had turned into a friendship, and although there was an undeniable electric tension between them, they have never done anything about it. But it has that "will definitely be the best sex of your life" kinda energy.

They fight quite a lot, and disagree on almost everything. Have they tried to kill each other? Oh, absolutely. But they're also professionals, and although Clementine and George may be going at it, it never bothers Malcolm, because he knows that Calico and Sable will put those differences aside and do the damn job.

Clem only involves herself in George's sex life when it comes to people who she considers friends. She has the warnings already mentally scripted, because the thing about George Cassidy is that he cares about no one but himself, and nothing but his holy trinity: blood, money, and sex. He's an emotionally devoid sociopath at the best of times, and at the worst, he's a well oiled and dangerous killing machine.

He is not a good man, Clementine knows, but sometimes, you don't want a good man.

I have a gifset in store involving the two of them, and I'm busy compiling a list of headcanons as we speak. If you want, I can tag you in it :)

But this is everything about their past and a bit of their present, so if you want to create an OC please do and tag me so I can write up a crossover and make some gifs 💕

(And before anyone comes for me, yes, I am aware of the fact that George "Sable" Cassidy is a very toxic and fucking despicable man, I created him, and I made him that way. I am not condoning his actions, nor would I want to be in a relationship with him in real life, but this is fiction. It is not meant to be taken seriously, if you don't like my hot mercenary boyfriend, then please unfollow me, because he is my current obsession, and I cannot promise that I will not be thirsting for him on my TL at any and all hours).

#i am literally in love with this man #i'm so sorry y'all have to suffer through this tomfoolery #lokitrasho #oc: george cassidy #oc: clementine roscoe

16 notes · View notes

olivieblake · 4 years

Note

i watched your video today and then went on twitter and immediately saw a viral tweet of a teenager teling a 23 year old she was prehistoric and to get off instagram and get a job (she was mad that she wouldn’t give up her insta name ahaha) and the comments actually were full of people saying they can’t believe she’d argue with a child lol. i laughed a little cause it was extremely timely but it made me glad you shared these thoughts and hopefully if we all continue doing our thing we can keep pushing forward the idea of what womanhood looks like. something you said though about how we even very recently really weren’t even able do do anything besides marriage and motherhood made me think of a conversation i had with my sister the other day which started as me saying i don’t get when adults make their kids use prefixes when saying my name as a sign of respect (seriously i’m supposed to let them call me a dinosaur and say oh how sweet but if they don’t refer to me as miss thats disrespectful? make it make sense! i’m rambling 😭) anyway so i was saying there are so many titles for woman it’s confusing, men only have to use mr. so it’s hit me now that a woman’s age and martial status was so important that society had to create a way to be able to sort you by those markers. like when i was in grade 2 , so i was 6 turning 7 after a few months my teacher was a ms. and i remember thinking how embarrassing that would be cause it would mean you were old and not married. how horrible of me to think that! no wonder it’s so hard for people to view woman and as more than wives and mothers though like i have no idea where i would have gotten that thought about embarrassment from but clearly this way of valuing ourselves as woman starts so early. so ya thanks for chatting about these things with us 💖 also none of this was what i came here to say i got distracted what i wanted to say was i watched today’s video and your hair looked so beautiful and shiny and was curled so nicely and your star background is a thing of dreams truly just delightful

oh my goddddd that twitter scenario. when my sister turned 23 she said “I’m old now” and I was like that’s objectively absurd and also your brain isn’t even fully developed until you’re 25 and she was like “okay :/” and like, WHY do we do this to ourselves?? a mystery. at 23 I had moved in with mr blake and my extremely catholic mother (who I was terrified would be furious about all the implied pre-marital sex) just said “oh, thank god someone is taking care of you,” because at 23 you are a Mess who is still mostly a Hapless Child and everyone knows this to be fact

anyway

hahaha prefixes oh god, good point. isn’t it horrific to think how early it starts??? it’s amazing how quickly we can teach girls to both feel and impart shame about other women. mildly related, I have this private joke in My Mechanical Romance where a female teacher, ms. voss, is referred to by the teen MC as being “like, forty,” which will not be funny until someone who looks like me plays her in the netflix adaptation (in my head ms. voss is in her late twenties or something). anyway now *I* am rambling but on that note, mr blake asked his middle schoolers to imagine where they’ll be in twenty years and they all submitted pictures of very old people, and he was like okay no in twenty years you’ll be about my age, I am not in a walker and do not have an oxygen tank but thank you guys for your Opinions. I’m totally off topic again but the point is you make a valid point

I know I already said it, but it really has not been very long that women have had the freedoms that they do!! seeing women who are in their thirties and publicly enjoying their hobbies is not something we have a lot of examples for because it was either not an option or we did not have the means to see them do it. I think it matters what we do with that awareness, especially when it comes to observing and self-correcting our biases and noticing how we view other women. it’s okay to notice that we have those biases as long as we self-investigate as to why, and then make sure we don’t unintentionally contribute to a culture or create an atmosphere that makes that kind of stigma okay

also, I actually DID DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT WITH MY HAIR so thank you! my hair has a different texture now and is a lot straighter than it usually is, so I curled it very quickly with a large barrel and brushed it out, and then to avoid flyaways I rubbed a teensy amount of jojoba oil in my palms and smoothed it over my ends. so hooray! I’m glad it looked shiny, a rare day of looking human for me, thank you very much I love you

#olivie blake is not writing #my mechanical romance #antisocial-kk

13 notes · View notes

heathenarmyimagines · 5 years

Text

Title: The One He Chose

Pairing: Ivar x Reader

Summary: The married life of a violent Viking and a meek nun.

Part One

Part Two

Taglist: @ubbesgirl, @shewolf2000, @tis-itheapplepie, @atequila, @demoncrypt1066, @greennightspider, @badbitsh13, @fireismysaftey, @minarawr, @laketaj24, @hvitserksgirl, @blahblahcookiesdoma, @fabulous-peasent, @sforsammmmmi, @minmiin1d, @courtrae89, @letsloveimagines, @tomarisela, @titty-teetee, @beyond-the-ashes@elenawrit, @mblaqgi, @whenimaunicorn, @chuflisworld, @mystruggledlife, @moose-squirrel-asstiel, @syreni-dea, @trashqueenbitch, @alykatv, @mbaku-babygirl, @perfectus-in-morte, @beyond-the-ashes, @neeadinghugs, @readsalot73, @triumphantreturnofpies, @anarchy-is-coming, @tephi101, @alicedopey, @ivarslittlebadgirl, @jtrstp, @nejijjeoroo, @charlylama, @ivartheblessed, @captstefanbrandt, @fabulouschrissi, @ivarsrideordie, @3x5gurl, @the-writer-appreciation-blog, @lolabee9, @captainfoxy22, @young-ugly-god, @im5ftbutmythroat66, @bribyyy, @irishhiggins, @cadetomlinson, @keclleon101, @slutforragnarssons, @ltkeke, @meeeeeeeeeps, @lille-kanin, @opalscarab, @ssraven7, @ivarandersen, @concretewaywardangel, @funmadnessandbadassvikings, @sharon-is-tired, @cadetomlinson, @mystruggledlife, @chuflisworld, @justmarissa97, @lol-haha-joke, @weirdly-randomly-awesome, @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanim, @idonthavehusbandsihavelovers, @alexa040004, @buckythetinman , @burntmythroatskullingmytea,@jorunnravenslayer, @two-unbeatable-beaters, @buffy-the-vampire-blogger, @arses21434, @ltkeke, @captainfoxy22, @chinduda @letsshamelessqueen-m @my-soul-is-the-moon @we-are-transcendent

Part One

Part Two

It had been two years since Ivar had decided to keep you.

Gone were your days of doing chores in the church, and enjoying your fellow sisters. Now you were in a foreign cold country surrounded by complete strangers that followed a religion you wanted nothing to do with.

If the physical displacement wasn’t hard enough to adjust to you also had to come to terms with the fact you were now married to a very violent heathen.

At first you had tried to be optimistic; you would still have your religion and faith, your beloved kingdom was safe and maybe you could even learn a few things about these pagans. Those had been your hopes but they were foolish and downright naive.

Even before you had set foot on the boat Ivar made sure you knew that he wouldn’t tolerate your faith at all. He threw your cross into a fire and would scold you like a child no matter who was present.

Ivar had also made it clear that he was in charge, he planned the wedding and did not ask your opinion on a single thing. He told you what would happen and what you were expected to say and do and that was the end of it. What a nightmare your wedding was, your dress wasn’t modest in any sense and blood from a lamb was poured on you.

Your wedding night had been even worse.

Despite how you had tried to explain that you were a woman of the church, in other words a virgin, he did not care at all. He was rough and completely ignored your protests and cries.

All of that horror had happened after he and his brothers had killed King Ecbert and before you had even arrived in his kingdom, Kattegat.

Once you arrived Ivar lead you to his estate and assigned you a servant who would teach you his language and the stories of his Gods. He forbid you from leaving his home until you were able to speak Norse fluently.

In your time of learning Ivar wasn’t exactly patient with you, he would often call you stupid for taking so long to learn. Ivar didn’t care who was around when he would berate your intelligence; be it his brothers, visiting Earls and Jarls or even just the thralls who kept the house.

When you finally were able to leave home to carry out the wifely duties that Ivar had placed on you the whole of Kattegat was already aware of how you were treated. You almost hated the looks of pity more than the looks of smugness from people who thought you deserved the abuse because of your faith.

Ivar was truly horrible, you sometimes thought his name should have been Ivar the Horrible, not Boneless.

If all Ivar was to you was abusive it would have been easier, then you would know exactly what to expect with him, but Ivar was not an easy person to understand.

He would humiliate and verbally abuse you all day, then at night he would climb on top of you and have his way with your body, but after he was something else.

After he had satisfied his primal needs he would lie beside your bruised body and speak to you in a soft voice about his mother and how she had always wanted to see all her sons find wives.

The first few times he had done this you were touched and you thought maybe he wasn’t the monster he appeared to be, but it didn’t take him long to sour that as well. When he would catch you praying he would speak on how his beautiful mother would have hated having you as a daughter in law.

He would say that so much that at some point it stopped hurting, then one day you looked up and you found that you were now accustomed to this horrid life that you lived.

You would wake up alone, be dressed by thralls and then walk into the dining hall to have first meal with Ivar where you would refrain from praying over your food, then Ivar would go off on his business and you would run the household. After the last meal you would retire to your bed chamber then sometime later a drunk Ivar would come in to mount you then whisper his soft words until he fell asleep.

Everyday it was the same, walking on eggshells trying not to provoke your husband’s anger and taking whatever abuse he had to offer that day.

There were times, when you would sit outside and sew, you would think about just walking to the docks and climbing onto a boat but you knew you never could. Ivar would take it as a great offense and would take his anger out on your kingdom.

So you stayed.

Now you are in the great hall at the high table with your husband, brothers in law and their wives.

Tonight there was to be a sacrifice to pray that the harvest be rich this spring, and your stomach was far too uneasy to eat.

Ivar was having none of it.

‘Why do you not eat? Do you want people to say I do not feed you?’ he hissed.

‘I am simply not hungry, my husband.’ you mumbled.

‘Eat, you are making me appear to be a cruel husband.’ he said angrily.

Not that Ivar noticed, but the cheerful atmosphere of the entire high table was immediately altered by the tone he used with his wife.

None of them agreed with the way he treated you, but any attempts they made to speak to him ended with him being even angrier with you for days on end because you made people think ill of him.

‘I am sorry.’ you said softly as you picked up a piece of bread and took a small piece.

Ivar went back to his drink and found that everyone was staring at him in distaste, and like always it angered him.

‘Good. Now the night has been soured before the sacrifice.’ he snarled.

You again apologized for spoiling the mood and offered to retire so that he and his family could enjoy the feast and festivities, you had no desire to see the sacrifice any how.

‘No you will stay and watch the sacrifice, do you not want us to have a rich harvest? Does your Christ God say that we should starve this year?’

‘Of course not, but if my presence is spoiling your mood then I will leave if you wish it.’ you tried to placate him.

‘What kind of husband doesn’t want his wife by his side? You will sit here, you will eat and enjoy the sacrifice. Am I understood?’ he threatened.

‘Yes.’ you submitted as you lowered your head.

The rest of the family turned back to their own conversations, except Ubbe.

He was more like his father than the rest of his brothers in the sense that he didn’t hate the Christians. Ubbe saw no point in being overly violent with the Christians when they went out on raids or even with the Christian thralls at his own estate. He really didn’t like how horrid his younger brother treated you at all, but he saw trying to tell Ivar this only made him worse.

Even he as the eldest couldn’t tell another free man how to treat his wife.

For the next hour or so you nibbled at your plate and tried to be as invisible as you could, speaking to no one, not even raising your head to look around the hall.

At last Bjorn stood and announced that it was time to step out into the courtyard for the sacrifice to take place.

Everyone else hurried out but you had to wait by Ivar as he stood up on his braces and crutches, he was still getting used to them. You were genuinely happy when he first showed you his new mode of transportation, but in the end it too made your husband irritable. The pain of the metal braces would make Ivar complain, and any offer you made to help made him think you saw him as weak.

Once Ivar was on his feet you followed behind him as he made his way to the front of the crowd, he wanted to be sure that he, and you, got a good view.

You took a small comfort in the fact that no Chiristians were ever sacrificed to the pagan Gods, the heathens felt their Gods would be insulted by having a non-believer sacrificed to them.

Still you hated the human sacrifices, no matter how many of them you had seen you still didn’t like to see another human die.

This time it was a man, you had seen him around town buying things for his family. You didn’t know him but that didn’t make watching him die any less horrible.

Bjorn gave the usual speech, asking the Gods for their favor, then he raised his ax and with one swift swing he ended a life.

You tried not to flinch at the sound of it but you couldn’t help it, you didn’t need to look over to know that Ivar was smiling. You kept your eyes closed as the crowd cheered in celebration, and felt Ivar move toward the blood bowl and took a sip like always and dipped his fingers in before he walked over to you.

‘May the blood of this sacrifice allow you to bear fruit as well wife.’ he said before flinging the blood onto your face.

You felt sick to your stomach and wanted nothing more than to wipe off the human blood and just go to bed and leave this day in the past.

‘If I may retire to the estate my husband, I do not feel too well.’ you requested.

Ivar rolled his eyes in annoyance but eventually he nodded and dismissed you with a wave of his hand.

You hurried off away from the festivities waiting until you were sure you were out of sight completely to wipe the blood off your skin.

As you walked you strayed from the trail back to your estate and into the woods, you had found a small clearing not long after you had began to explore your new home. It was in the spot perfectly between Ivar’s lands and Ubbe’s so none of the thralls Ivar had spying on you traveled out this far.

You used this space to pray whenever you could get away from your husband.

Like usual you kneeled at a tree stump and brought your hands together for prayer.

‘Dear Father, how I have missed speaking to you like this. I wish I could pray to you everyday as I once did, but my husband will not allow it, even now I disobey him to speak with you.’ you started.

‘My Lord, everyday I find it harder to live on this earth with that man and I ask you as a mere servant… please give me some sign of your presence here. Surrounded by such horror and paganism it is becoming harder to have faith, and now my faith is all I have left. I fear that I can’t survive this world without my faith.’ you sobbed.

You soon began uncontrollably crying as two years of sadness hit you all at once, you could barely get it together enough to stand up and be on your way back to the trail.

Just as you had gotten on your feet you heard a rustle coming from behind you, immediately you reached for the dagger Ivar insisted you carry at all times.

The noise became louder and it became clear that this was not just an animal moving around but a person approaching you.

You got ready to defend yourself when at last Ubbe stepped into the clearing.

‘Ubbe! You nearly scared me to death!’ you whined, clutching your heart as you willed it to slow down.

‘Sorry, I departed shortly after you and decided to see to it that you got home safe, our soldiers get a bit too bold during a good feast.’ the Ragnarson explained.

‘Well thank you for your concern, but I am fine. I will be on my way.’ you said quickly, moving to walk away but Ubbe caught you by your wrist.

‘You were praying.’

A panic took hold of your heart, you had hoped he hadn’t heard your prayers.

‘P-please don’t tell him.’ you begged as your eyes began to water once again.

If Ivar heard about you praying to your Christian God he would be angry with you for at least two weeks, and that’s if you’re lucky.

‘Do not cry, I will not tell him. Just let me walk you home, to make sure you are safe.’

You let out a cry of relief, and as Ubbe led you back to the pathway you tried to recenter yourself. Ubbe was a good man, and from what you heard from Margrethe he was a good husband.

Though his marriage to the former thrall wasn’t by any means Christ like, seeing how he shared her with Hvitserk, but he was always kind and trusting.

Nothing like your husband who you now truly believed didn’t have a single kind bone in his body, and if he did it was probably one of the broken ones.

At last you two were at your door, you thanked him for his kindness.

‘I don’t consider ensuring your safety a kindness, it is a decency.’

‘I haven’t been shown much decency since I was brought here, so I do thank you. I hope you return home safely as well.’ you said.

‘Goodnight (Y/N).’ he bid farewell as you went inside.

Inside your home you head towards the chamber you shared with Ivar and found two thralls already there waiting to help you undress and get ready for bed. Removing Viking clothes is so much more time consuming than your old attire.

Once you were in your nightgown and your hair was unbraided you sent the girls away and got into your bed.

Silently you prayed, you had come to learn that most of the thralls doubled as spies for Ivar, and they felt no guilt telling him you were disobeying.

You weren’t sure when you drifted off or how long you had been asleep before you were rudely awoken by Ivar stumbling into the room and drunkenly falling into the bed.

‘Wife!’ he shouted.

You sighed and sat up, you already knew where this was going. So you stood up and moved to stand in front of him and began removing his leg braces.

Ivar only let two people do this for him, his personal healer and you. He would say he thought only a man’s wife should take care of him, but you knew he didn’t want anyone else seeing his legs.

You finally got them off and put them away while Ivar got undressed.

‘Come to bed.’

With a sigh you walked back to stand in front of your husband, and like he always did he ripped off your clothes and threw you onto the bed.

You don’t even bother trying to fight him anymore, he overpowers you physically, then once he is done he will lecture you on how evil you are for not wanting him as a wife should want her husband.

Ivar climbed on top of you, and with no gentleness he forced himself into your body and you let out a cry of pain. Your womanhood still hurt, it always hurt because Ivar would do this every night.

At last he pulled himself out of you finished over your belly before he rolled over, you took the wet cloth from the bedside table and cleaned yourself.

‘In three days I will be leaving Kattegat to make arrangements with the Earl of Gotaland. If all goes well he and his soldiers will stand by me when I attack Hedeby next spring.’ Ivar said.

You were filled with a sensation you hadn’t felt in so long you could barely recognize it, joy.

‘How long will you be away.?’ you asked, trying not to sound excited.

‘If it were to go smoothly then at least two weeks time, but if what I’ve heard about this Earl is true then maybe a month.’ he informed.

A whole month without Ivar’s abuse.

‘I will be busy with preparations for the journey, so I will not be around as much. I will need you to make sure all my personal belongings are properly packed, as well as managing the home.’ Ivar said.

‘Of course.’ you said as you turned over.

Ivar sat there and watched you for a while and thought about how Bjorn would talk about his first wife, Thorunn, who would shower him in her love and affection whenever he left Kattegat for any amount of time.

He was eager to tell you that he was leaving, so that he could hear you go on about how much you will miss him, but you didn’t do that.

You just turned your back to him and went to sleep, as if you didn’t even care that he would be leaving.

Ivar’s stare became hard and angry before he leaned down and whispered into your ear.

‘My mother would have hated you...she was the only one in this world is whoever truly loved me.’ he hissed before he rolled over.

The next days were spent gathering everything Ivar would need on his journey; his clothes, weapons, oils for his braces, his bathtub and other things. Once that was done you spoke with all the thralls and let them know that they would report to you now.

Ivar was spending his time speaking with the men he would travel with, making sure all of them were on the same page, and preparing his battle tactic should things go horribly wrong. If your husband was anything it was prepared for the worst.

On the third day everything was chaos, you and Ivar running around getting the last minute things taken care of, double checking that everything was in order. It wasn’t until nightfall that you were both sure everything was ready, in the morning they could load up the carts and be on their way.

Honestly you were eager for sleep, tomorrow would be your first day of freedom.

Ivar came into the room very tiredly and you removed his braces then he used you like he always did, but this time he did not stop.

He did not stop until the sun was raising and thralls began knocking on the door to tell him that they were beginning to load up the carts. By the time he got off of you and began getting dressed you felt so sore and tired you were surprised you could even move.

While you were being dressed Ivar watched you, his beautiful wife. He would often look at you and think back to the day that he decided he would take you as his wife. You hadn’t even mentioned his legs, and that was always the first thing about him people noticed and spoke about.

He knew in that moment you were the woman for him; you were beautiful, and clearly saw him past his disability. Sure you praised a false God, but he could change that, and of course sometimes you would turn away from his touch but he knew how to make love to you.

Last night he had made love to you all night long, after all this would be the first time the two of you would be apart for more than several hours. Ivar wanted the night to be the best it could be and wanted it to be one to remember.

Once you and Ivar were outside you could see the other men loading their own carts; their wives kissing them and praying for their return, their children hugging their knees.

It was truly a heartwarming sight, and Ivar saw it as well.

When Ivar had married you he wanted to immediately fill you with his children, but the time wasn’t right, he could not give his wife or child his full attention. Not with Lagertha still breathing, taunting him with her very existence, no he needed to avenge his mother first.

For now he would bask in the love of his wife.

He looked over at his wife, but she just kept looking around at the other families, practically ignoring him.

‘Wife.’ he said getting your attention.

You looked over at him and kept your face from twisting in distaste.

‘Yes Ivar.’

Ivar looked up at you and waited for you to wish him a safe journey or kiss him...anything to show you would miss him.

You stared at him and he stared back, him waiting on you to tell him you didn’t want him to leave, and you waiting for him to tell you what he wanted.

After about a moment he finally realized you would not say sweet things to him like the other wives and he turned away from you angrily and got in his cart.

Completely confused as to how you had upset him this time you watched him sit his crutches down beside him in the cart. The other men finally got onto their own carts and finally they began their journey.

You watched Ivar’s cart the whole time as it went down the path, you watched until you couldn’t see it anymore. If only to make sure he was really truly gone, that he wouldn’t just turn around and come back as soon as you looked away.

‘Mistress?’ one of the thralls finally spoke.

‘Yes, let us return home.’ you said.

As you walked back to your estate you kept your head low to hide your smile.

Ivar was gone you walked around the house giving orders and the first one you gave was to the cooks. You requested porridge, chicken and fruits, the standard meal from the church. You hadn’t had porridge since you married Ivar, he wanted you to eat like a viking and vikings ate meat and vegetables.

In the days that followed you would assign the tasks to the thralls and then go out and sit in for Ivar in the great hall. You would hear the men scoff whenever you spoke, clearly not respecting what you have to say as not only a woman, but also as a Christian.

You did not care, because at the end of the day you were still Ivar’s wife and Ivar was a very violent man who was easy to insult. No one in Kattegat would ever be so bold as to publicly disrespect his wife.

After the official business was done you would go to the markets, or maybe just a stroll through the woods so you could have your own private little mass.

One day as you were preparing to take the body of Christ Ubbe came into the clearing.

‘I saw you heading out here.’ he said.

‘Are you going to make a habit of watching me, I doubt Margrethe would appreciate that.’ you smiled.

You already knew Ubbe would not tell Ivar what you were doing here, in all honesty it was great to be open about your religion with someone.

‘She is with Hvitserk today, she will not mind whatever I do.’ Ubbe dismissed.

‘Your views on marriage are so strange to me, even after all this time.’

‘I am sure your Christian marriage customs are just as odd to me.’ he smiled.

‘I guess you are right, besides I should get used to heathen marriage since I am married to one.’ you sighed as you sat on a fallen tree.

‘Not all marriages are like yours (Y/N), not all husbands are as cruel as Ivar.’ Ubbe said, sitting beside you.

‘I can see that, in the way other women sit by their husbands and speak so boldly to them...I wish I could speak with so much confidence.’ you said as you picked at the dead bark.

‘Why don’t you?’

‘Ivar would lose his temper.’

‘He’s not here is he? Ivar is miles and miles away, looking for warriors to fight against Lagertha.’ Ubbe grinned as he moved to stand in front of you.

‘Go on, yell at me...as if I were Ivar.’

You looked up at him, fighting a smile, you wanted to do this, it would be so nice to do this. Like a massive weight lifted off your chest.

‘Y-you are too mean.’ you said softly.

‘What was that wife? I cannot hear you.’ Ubbe said, mocking Ivar’s voice in a way that made you giggle like a child.

‘I said you are mean.’ you said louder this time.

‘And...you never let me choose our meals, or make any decisions of my own. I have to request what you order me to request, be where you tell me.’ you continued.

‘Keep going.’

‘I hate how you talk...you are always either whispering or yelling there is never an in between. I hate how everything I say and do is an insult to you!’ you shouted, standing up.

‘You always yell at me like a child, it’s humiliating!’

‘Let it all out!’ Ubbe encouraged.

‘I-I hate how you touch me!’ you yelled at the top of your lungs.

‘Woah.’ Ubbe said taken back a bit.

‘You are always too rough, it is disgusting and feels horrible!’

You took a deep breath and in that moment you realized you were yelling these things at Ubbe, things that he probably didn’t want to know at all.

‘I’m sorry.’ you squeaked out an apology.

‘It is fine.’ Ubbe smiled.

‘No that was unacceptable, I should not have told you that. That information should be kept private, I apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable.’ you said.

‘No it is fine really...but if I may ask, is Ivar really being too rough with you?’

‘...yes.’ you confessed.

‘Back home, I was so thankful for the church. No man ever laid hands on women of the church, we took vows of celibacy.’

‘My father told me about this. You wait until you are married to have sex.’ Ubbe said.

‘Nuns swear not to marry; their hearts, bodies and souls belong to their church and their God. I never wanted to marry at all Ubbe, but then the decision was made for me and even that forced marriage wasn’t Christlike.’ you said.

You sat back down and lowered your gaze to your lap, and chose to ignore the tears that hit your skirts.

‘Hey.’ Ubbe said as he kneeled in front of you and took your hand in his own.

‘I hate this marriage Ubbe, I hate everything about it. The man I’m married to, the wifely duties, the thralls, the estate...the sex. I hate the sex so much.’ you cried.

You cried for what like hours but was probably only a few minutes.

‘What uh...what does Ivar do? What makes the sex so bad, if you don’t ask mind me asking.’

‘Well...he comes in while I’m asleep, then he yells until I wake up, that’s when I take off his braces, then he’ll climb on top of me and have his way.’ you explained.

‘Have his way?’

You nodded.

‘Does he ever try to...make you feel good in anyway?’ he asked.

You shook your head.

‘If he has then I surely took no notice.’

‘Does he...ever kiss you?’

Again you shook your head.

‘Never.’

‘Never?’

‘Not once, a wife who has never felt her husband’s lips.’ you sighed.

‘What about touching you? Holding you? Anything?’ Ubbe asked.

‘What are you speaking of?’ you asked in complete confusion, you had no idea what your brother in law was talking about.

‘I mean has he ever treated your body the way it should be treated, touched you the way a woman needs.’

‘I don’t even know what you are talking about Ubbe.’ you admitted.

Ubbe looked down at your hands in his then he looked back up at you.

‘May I?’ he asked raising his hand.

You looked at him, confused but accepting.

He brought his hand up and lightly ran his fingers up and down your neck, barely touching you, just enough for you to feel it.

‘Has Ivar ever kissed you here?’

‘N-no, he’s bitten me a few times I think.’

‘How about here?’ he said, placing his hand on you collar bone.

You took his hand and spread it out over your neck, so it looked as if he was going to choke you.

‘He pins me down like this some nights when I try to back away from him.’ you said.

Ubbe shook his head with a sad sigh.

‘If this is what Ivar has been doing with you then you are no less a virgin now than you were before he chose you. You are a virgin until you enjoy the sex you are having.’ he said.

‘I hear the other women speak of sex so fondly, and though it is a sin I become envious of them.’

‘Would you like to...try it?’ Ubbe offered.

‘Try what?’

‘Sex, enjoyable sex.’ he clarified.

Oh.

Your face went red as you prepared to say no but the word wouldn’t come out. Deep in your heart you knew that you wanted to try having sex that you would enjoy, but it would be adulterous.

Ubbe was your brother in law no less, could God forgive such a sin? Then again was your marriage even real in the Lord’s eyes, it wasn’t done in his ways, maybe it could be premarital sex?

No! You could not do this, and you are going to tell Ubbe this!

‘Y-yes.’ you said so softly even you yourself barely heard it.

Ubbe smiles before he began leaning into you.

‘If you want me to stop just tell me.’ He said before he kissed you.

You never told him to stop, he touched you in ways Ivar never had and he was gentle. That day you truly felt like a woman, like you had truly lost your virginity.

Ubbe let you explore his body as well as your own, he would run his hand over your body to see which parts of you were most sensitive. You would touch him and try the things you’d hear the other women talk about and he would tell you if he liked it.

It was practically educational.

After that day your entire schedule had changed each afternoon you would send the thralls back to the estate to do their chores then you would meet Ubbe in the clearing.

The place where you once worshiped God had become the place where you would commit all kinds of sins with Ubbe. Everyday you would try something new, touching a new place, or a different position. You were learning what you like and Ubbe was always there and willing to help you discover new things.

You never wanted this to end, finally you were seeing a silver lining in the stormy cloud that was living among heathens. Now you truly had the freedom to do as you pleased, in a way that you never had back in your tiny kingdom.

In your heart you were still a Christian, but you were choosing to believe God was forgiving. It was so much harder to ignore the temptation in a place where no one sees anything they are doing as wrong.

Ubbe was also encouraging you to be more expressive and to make decisions for yourself, like choosing clothes you liked and speaking whenever you had something to say.

You still wondered what exactly Ubbe had told his wife about what was going on between the two of you, Margrethe didn’t seem too fond of you, but then again she never was to begin with.

All good things come to an end however, you had been told by an envoy that Ivar’s party was spotted about two days ride away.

With your husband’s inevitable return, you needed to make sure you and Ubbe were on the same page. You were fairly certain that none of the thralls were aware of your rendezvous, and you didn’t want Ubbe to let Ivar become aware of your affair.

‘Well...what are we trying today?’ Ubbe asked as he came into the clearing, already removing his tunic.

‘Nothing...Ubbe, Ivar is returning.’ you told him.

‘I heard, so if you have any other things you’d like to try out-’

‘Ubbe!’ you gasped.

‘What?’ he asked.

‘We can’t do this anymore, don’t you understand? Ivar is coming back and if he heard so much as a word of this he would kill us both.’ you explained.

Ubbe walked up to you and took your hand in his, same as he had weeks ago, when all this had started.

‘I would never tell him, and I would never let him hurt you (Y/N)...not ever.’

‘What can you do to stop him Ubbe? The larger part of the Great Army follow him, he has trusted spies walking all over Kattegat, the only reason they haven’t caught us is because he took the best of them with him. He has the men, the money and the mind to kill anyone he pleases.’

He didn’t have an argument for that, everything you had said was true. Ivar was crazy, the way he thought was unlike any other man in this world, and he had the means to do as he pleased to whoever pleased.

‘I will hold the memories of all we have done close to my heart forever, and I pray that God will forgive all of my sins. I must prepare for my husband’s return, this will be the last time I come here, with Ivar returning I will be being watched just as before.’ you said.

‘(Y/N).’ Ubbe said, placing a kiss on your forehead.

‘Even if you are right, remember that you are his wife, and you are a free woman. If he ever hurts you then you have the right to ask for divorce, Bjorn is the King now. The army is bound to him by their armrings, do not just let Ivar rule over you anymore.’ he advised.

You knew you could never take that advice, it would get you killed, but still you nodded. If only to make Ubbe feel better.

‘If this is our last evening together, then let us enjoy it.’ he said as he lowered himself onto his knees and pushed up your skirts.

You gasped in surprise before you let your head fall back in pleasure, deciding to enjoy this last day of freedom before you returned to your chains.

That day you were surprised you could even walk back to the estate, your legs were still so weak. Honestly all you wanted to do once you were home was bathe and sleep, but that wasn’t an option, you had to prepare the home for Ivar tell the cooks to prepare his favorite meal and tell the healers to have all of Ivar’s usual treatments ready, and give the thralls a few last minute tasks.

As tired as you were sleep was evasive, tomorrow you would have to go back to walking on the eggshells of Ivar’s temper. You weren’t sure when you fell asleep, but when you were woken up by a thrall you were still dead tired.

One of the girls picked out a dress for you, the brown dress, Ivar had picked it out for you when he first brought you here, it was his favorite dress to see you in.

You hated it.

‘Not that one, give the blue one, and I want the silver jewelry.’ you said.

‘Mistress, the master is returning today.’ the girl said.

‘I know, give me the blue dress and the silver jewelry.’ you said firmly.

You were filled with dread even as you were bathed you were meant to be at the docks, waiting with the other wives to see your husband’s safe return. Ivar didn’t like you wearing bright colors, he said it drew other men to look at you in a way no man other than he had any right to.

As you walked to the square you did see a few men spare you a glance, but you didn’t shy away from the attention. You really like this dress, you had it commissioned by one of the best dressmakers in Kattegat.

All the women and children around you were buzzing with excitement, ready to see their beloved husbands and fathers returning home safely. How you wished you could have felt the same way they all did, but how could you?

‘Please, My Lord...be with me in my time of troubles, for one is approaching.’ you whispered as you saw the party approaching the square, Ivar’s cart right in front.

Still as a stone you stone you stood as the other women ran to their husbands’ carts and wagons, even when your husband’s cart was right in front of you and the thralls were going to open the door you remained still.

Ivar’s eyes landed on you, his beautiful wife, with shining eyes, but they lost some of their happiness when he saw what you were wearing.

‘Wife...what are you wearing?’ he asked as he was helped out of the cart, leaning against it while waiting for the thrall inside to hand him his crutch.

You didn’t recognize this thrall.

‘Who is she?’ you asked instead of answering.

Ivar glared, he noticed that you had not only avoided his question, but had even gone so far as to question him.

‘This is Freydis, a thrall I received from the Earl, given to me in good faith.’ he said.

You looked the slave over, and saw her beautiful face and even in thin ragged clothes you could tell she had a gorgeous body. Even now as they were reuniting with their wives some were looking at the thrall at Ivar’s side.

‘Of course...good faith.’ you said plainly.

Ivar didn’t like this tone of yours, not at all. He had just returned after being away for a month and he was ready to have his wife run up to cry how much she had missed him. While away he managed to forgive her not being sadder to see him, maybe she didn’t truly believe that he was really going, but surely now that he’d been gone so long she should be happy to see him.

She should be wearing his favorite dress for her, she should be kissing him the way the other wives did their husbands. Instead she was in this ridiculous blue dress that she no doubt bought with his money, and questioning his faithfulness.

‘Come, I wish to see the house, make sure it as it was when I left...since my wife has clearly changed.’ he snarled, looking you dead in the eye.

‘I apologize if I am behaving strange...Husband.’ you apologized, as you would have before, but you didn’t lower your head.

You looked him in the eye as you spoke, something you could rarely do before, but now it felt easier.

Ivar instructed the thralls to remove his items from the cart and have them brought to the estate while you, he and Freydis walked. He said he wanted the new thrall to become better acquainted with the house since she’d apparently be your personal thrall.

At that you had no reaction, and Ivar noticed it.

He did not like the way you were acting, he had brought you a thrall as a gift, he had safely returned home with even more warriors to fight against his mother’s killer. Ivar had missed her from the moment he got in the cart, and he couldn’t wait to be back in her arms.

Even when the Earl had gifted him with Freydis he knew it was meant to be a bed warmer, but even a beautiful woman like her could compare to his wife in his eyes. Freydis spoke words of encouragement, about how his deformity was a gift from the Gods and how he was greater for having them. Those words had truly touched him, but they were not what he needed to hear.

When he thinks back on the day he first saw his wife in that unimportant kingdom and saw her standing up to a king on behalf of the other women he admired her bravery, then when he met her in his tent and she figured out his little life or death mind game he was impressed by her intelligence.

He knew she was the perfect wife when he asked her what she thought of him and she spoke of how she feared him she said nothing about his legs. She spoke to him as she would have spoken to a man standing nine feet tall man, not some cripple who couldn’t chase her if she tried to run.

Even once they were married she never mentioned his legs or let her eyes linger on them the way others always did. She treated him like a man and he loved her for that, for the way she feared and respected him.

Now she was treating him as if he wasn’t anything important to her, even the fear in her eyes were gone.

Something had to have happened while he was gone, and if it was the last thing he did he was going to find out what it was.

#vikings imagine #ivar the boneless #ivar x reader #ivar lothbrok #Ubbe Lothbrok #ubbe x reader #THE ONE HE CHOSE #finally updated #unhappy marriage #cheating

319 notes · View notes

jenegetoutdaway · 4 years

Text

A Moment.....

I was listening to a brandy song...I’m yours, it was on her very first album, which I owned, along with several others because for 1 cent you could get 10 tapes. I had just learned too braid my own hair, I was practicing back then...alot lol... I was struggling to figure things out... ugh...tween years are really tough... that”s why I don’t give my kids a lot of crap lol... anyway here comes Brandy and she wears braids lol... I was lit, for whatever that was in the 90′s...95.7 Jams had a radio show... and, the Birmingham Heritage Festival was going to be in event for that or the next weekend.... I spent all the time I had, on the phone, trying desperately to win tickets.... I mean... I was relentless..... I won!!! I won 2 tickets, To the Birmingham Heritage Festival.... I was High!!!! I mean I was very High!!!! My mom and dad argued... who’s gonna take me, and always, anytime something like that happened, He took me... He couldn’t take just me though... the way the devil works is... 2 free tickets, dad agreed to take me... ok...we are going... now... He has to take my little brother and sister.... he has to buy them tickets... ugh I cant remember how old they were... elementary school age... young too... and they have to go...my sister cried most of the day... my little brother kept running off constantly we dragging crying sister looking for a busy brother... lol.... we had lunch... I think my dad bought 2, we all had to share... he didn’t eat much of his, he fed the most to my sister, I think by that time, he was over it,it had been all day...then it started to rain...That was it we had to go, Brandy be damned... I laugh about it now, cause I got kids of my own... but that shit was absolutely not at the time... I was pissed, I didn’t say shit the whole way home...my dad came to my room after a couple days, I was Not talking to my dad.... that would get him... that would get him good... he hated when I wouldn’t talk to him... most times it was because he always took up with girlfriends or wives, like why when you got a whole daughter with kids, and here I am struggling to keep it together, I wonder if he once thought... let me just go stay with my daughter cause she got kids.... and do this as a unit cause she needs me, and I need the woman I raised in her, this is ridiculous....like I laid next to so many of the wrong partners at night and thought...I was not talking to my father!!!! I was maaaaad at him.....He got married again!!! and he left me again!!! and I was pissed I was not talking to my father!!!! I went through a marriage with my dad, I did what he said, I prayed, and I left, and My father had just gotten married... I couldn’t trouble him...I couldn’t trouble him... I don”t date men with daughters... I was a daughter of a man, and I know the bible... My fathers money, belonged to his daughters until they were married, off and I made it my business when I had daughters of my own to make sure that I gave them everything it was they needed, so they wouldn’t have to ask no nigga that wasn’t they dad, for nothin... My father felt like I only called him when I needed something, and if he was around... but I know that he knew... news about me doesn’t take long to get around, it never has...He was my last resort....cause if you were raised properly, you would know that you can’t daughter or not, call upon a man with a wife....and ask for anything, and I would rather struggle than call and ask them people for anything...the same way I would struggle before I asked my mom for anything... I respected the women my father was “WITH” and before I’m anything Im a woman so there you have it... I was pissed.... the last few years of my fathers life... he lived with my ex-wife and I...people stayed in my business... about my dad not paying rent... he doin this...he doin that... I didnt care I was just happy to have my dad....My father saw, first hand, what I went through, who I was, and he would argue with me... My dad was the only person in the world who was not afraid of me... the only person who could make me shut my mouth, just by things he would do... As soon as I told him I had separated....He was angry and said...”I knew that shit was gonna happen”. Im mad. Im mad because I need my daddy and he not here, Im mad because I need his honest opinion, cause all I got around me are people who lie.... When I heard that song I thought of him, and I laughed... like I told my dad, “if you ever leave me again for a woman, I will not ever speak to you again”... my father left me... the last time I talked to my dad... he did what no one asked me to do, he asked me not to leave” I didn’t believe him when he said he wanted to work it out... bar-b-ques, and Sunday dinner... he begged me to stay...and I ignored him, because I was mad at him....I never talked to my dad again...He brought home my grandson, to my moms where I was staying at the time, 2 days before he died... and I didn’t go down and see him, I couldn’t... I didn’t want him to see me in the state I was, I would have broken down.... then he died, and I thought I had accepted that, and today I think is the day, because “where the fuck is my dad?” has been building up in me.... and all I can think about is how one day he said I was gonna have to use the skills he taught me because he wasn’t gonna be here.... I was talking to my aunt... she said that it was funny cause her and my mom was, just talking... and the question was “what was I gonna do now that I can’t run to my dad”.... Tuh 🤣 bitch run wit my dogs.... cause that’s what my dad taught me to do. Anyway, My father came to my room that day, and was laughing but said he was mad, we left to come home at like 1 when it started raining after lunch, it didn’t rain for that long, and “THE GIRL” (Brandy) came on at 2 as scheduled... and if we would have been able to wait...then we gave each other the look... and we knew what it was hittin for...

1 note · View note

kurainburdened · 5 years

Text

I’m realizing a lot of people followed me without playing AA, something I hadn’t considered when I first started this blog so heres some info for those who want to read up on Maya Fey.

But I also compiled ALOT of my HCs so if you haven’t been following me for a year there’s a lot about how I characterize Maya.

But if you have been following me for like a year or even 6 months I can’t imagine there’s a lot of new info here lol

Note: Im really ADHD and organizing my thoughts in a cohesive way is really hard for me so IDK if this is at all comprehensible. I did my best

Recap

[ important info for those who have not played AA ]

Information about her Family, Village and Traditions

The fey family has been blessed with the power to channel spirits. A power said to have been given to them due to how their ancestors were servants to the gods. The Main Families oldest daughter is the one that will head the family as the Kurain Master and lead their village. The younger siblings will become subservient to the Kurain master, a position that causes a lot of resentment. This means assassinations and uprisings aren’t entirely unheard of in their family.

In fact, most of the village is shown to be pretty uncaring towards Maya. When shes being dragged away for murder, they either watch on in disinterest or gossip among themselves. No one seems to be even a little bit upset or worried.

The only one who seems to show any kind of concern or faith in Mayas innocence is her Aunt Morgan, who raised her like a mother. This is ironic because Morgan is the one who set her up for murder. Something both Maya and Mia take as something very shocking

The Kurain Master holds quite a bit of political power as politicians all wish to have favor with her in order to gain access to her powers. In fact, even when in hiding, the previous Kurain master, Mayas mother, was kept under heavy surveillance, and files were kept on where she was and what she was doing.

The kurain village is a matriarchy, one where men are not allowed to live. Even in mariage, husbands must live separate from their wives. Because of this its stated in canon that this leads to many unhappy marriage that all end in divorce. Also, because of this rule, the men who visit for business purposes are given quite a mixed treatment. Because of the lack of men in their village, some see it as one of their few opportunities to make an impression and finally get married. Others see men and immediately assume them to be scum.

Traditionally the Kurain Master is never allowed to leave the mountain, and many of the women in the village are very sheltered. Pearly, Mayas younger cousin was raised to believe that there wasn’t even a world outside their village, and that the forest bordering it stretched on forever. Maya had to be told by her older sister about the ocean. Throughout the games there are proven to be extremely unknowledgable about very basic things. Pearly doesn’t know what a watch is. In the games Maya has no idea how to turn on a computer and in the anime she doesn’t know what the internet is.

Family History and Meeting Phoenix

Mayas mother, Misty, was tasked by the police in channeling a victim of a high profile case. In the end, the channeled victim gave the police a false lead to protect someone, which caused Misty to be branded a fake. This information was leaked to the public and soon Mayas family became a laughing stock.

Her Aunt Morgan raised Maya after her Mom disappeared and Mia left. Though this was with the ultimate goal of one day killing Maya, in order to make her own daughter the next Master.

Mia, Mayas older sister became obsessed with finding out who leaked this info and passed down the burden of Kurain Master to Maya. Years later Mia is a successful lawyer and even had an apprentice named Phoenix Wright. Then, on the day Maya and Phoenix were supposed to meet up with Mia, Mia was murdered. Maya arrived first on the scene followed by Phoenix. She was promptly accused of her murder which Phoenix got her acquitted for.

Other cases about Maya Fey

Maya is also kidnapped by an assassin in order to prompt Phoenix to defend a a killer. During this time she is starved over a period of three days to prompt Phoenix to close the case as fast as possible

When her mom finally reappears its because she has found out that there is a murder plot created by Mayas Aunt, and handed down to one of her cousins. Wanting to have the chance to save her daughter but not wanting to reveal her identity, she appears before Maya as a popular childrens author instead. In the end her mother is stabbed right before Mayas eyes, after which Maya had to hide from her killers on an isolated part of a snowy mountain.

Important Info

[ information important to how I characterize Maya ]

Her sister and how she affected her

During her sisters time in LA, due to her quick rise as a prominent lawyer, her ability to think outside of the box and her likable personality, Mia became a well known name between lawyers and police alike . Even among the police who are known to be hate defense attorneys, she was beloved.

Once she passed away, Phoenix mostly keeps Maya around due to her ability to bring back her sister.

Maya hears time and time again from those around her just how amazing her sister was. Because of this Maya feels a lot of pressure to replace her sister, feeling guilt that she could’ve easily been the one killed that day, leaving her sister to live in her place. She works tirelessly to be useful to the ones Mia left behind, most specifically Phoenix who’s debut case was defending Maya in court. She views him as a little brother who she needs to take care of.

During the final case of the first game, Maya has spent a lot of time with Phoenix and hasn’t been meditating enough. Because of this her powers start to leave her.This comes as a big hit to her. Maya has felt that she, herself, is useless and that her only real use is the fact that she can channel her sister. She goes to many lengths to try and be useful to Phoenix. At one point when Phoenix lets slip to a murderer that he has incriminating evidence, the murderer attempts to taser Phoenix, at which point Maya leaps in front of him and takes the hit. In the end Phoenix still gets tasered anyway. When she wakes up she begins to cry, stating how shes useless for being unable to protect him and even saying she wishes she never woke up. Maya has a lot of self hatred for being unable to reach the standards she feels her sister set.

Maya takes very active roles in getting Phoenix cases, to the point that there is not a single case in the trilogy that has not been sought out by Maya (not including the ones that Phoenix had a personal stake in and even some of those maya forced him into)

Morgan and how she affected her

I portray Morgan as someone who was kind of strict but someone very important to Maya. Morgan is someone who was the eldest sister but due to Misty’s, (her younger sister and Mayas mother) abundance of power, the title of Master went to her instead. This caused a lot of anger and resentment towards Misty and by extension Maya. But as she raised Maya, it wasn’t all bad. There were softer moments. Small shows of kindness that Maya latched onto as proof that her Aunt loved her. I also hc that some of the most intimate moments Maya had with her Aunt is when Morgan was teaching Maya about their history and what it meant to be Master. Maya felt bad for her Aunt because she could see how passionate Morgan was about being Master, and this got passed down to Maya. Even after her Aunt tries to get her killed, that passion still remains all the way to when she’s an adult. In fact, she still loves her Aunt desperately and tries to make excuses for her and her actions.

Also because Morgan had no plans to allow Maya to live very long she did not properly educate or prepare her for being Kurain Master. Because of this I hc that after the trilogy Maya makes a point to get an education in order to properly lead her village and also make changes to the traditions in place that have bred so much hatred and murderous intent.

I think something that people really miss about Maya is that she is actually VERY serious about her position as Kurain Master and is very much willing to concentrate and put in hard work when necessary. For goodness sake the girl spends how many hours meditating. In fact she excitedly signs up to sit on a block of ice to meditate.

I also hc that Maya was supposed to learn how to use the sword because one of the family heirlooms passed down was a sword and a statue of her ancestor is also seen with a sword. So I like to think she tries to pick this up later.

De Killer and what this case says about her

When Maya is kidnapped by the assassin Maya is able to create a way to communicate with Phoenix and give him information that allows him to find her. When the assassin moves her, she figures out a way to leave behind evidence in a way that her kidnapper wouldn’t notice but she knows her friends will. She also leaves behind a letter, comforting Phoenix and her younger cousin, and even actively encouraging him to throw his case. Ensuring him that this is what she wants and that ‘she wouldn’t forgive him’ if he saved her because she knows Phoenix wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he went against his morals as a lawyer.

This speaks heights to how self sacrificing Maya is. She is an eighteen year old girl, slowly being starved to death by an assassin and yet her first thoughts are to comfort the adult trying to save her. Yet she isn’t trying to be a martyr either. She actively tries to get herself saved too if she can. But she lets Phoenix know that if he has to choose, choose his client. Because she knows how it would effect him. In spite of everything that happens she’s still trying to take care of Phoenix.

Trust and Loyalty

During the last case of the third game, there’s a character called Godot who was in a relationship with her sister Mia. He was in a coma for several years and when he awakes he finds out Mia was killed. He blames himself for not being there to save her, so when he finds out about a murder plot against Maya he takes this as an opportunity for redemption. In the end Mayas mother is possessed by a spirit that wants to kill Maya and Godot is forced to kill Mayas mother right in front of her. Godot admits to Maya later that he honestly didn’t care much about protecting her and was acting only out of selfish need for a feeling of redemption. That if he truly wanted to protect her he would’ve just told her from the start that someone wanted to kill her instead of creating an equally secret plot to protect her. To which Maya vehemently protests against. Sayig she believed in Godot and that he is a good person who wanted to save her too. That he should give himself more credit. This is just a long set up to explain that once Maya trusts someone she is EXTREMELY loyal to them. Maya even lies in court to protect Godot.

Which goes into another point which is that, Maya is ABSOLUTELY willing to break rules, the law and lie in court. She is only a certain amount of law abiding because the two closest people to her are lawyers.

(i felt like this was a lot of explaining so you can read the explanation below or skip it and watch this video of the cut scene im describing and then get to my thoughts )

PL vs AA is a game in which, during trials, the defendants are in an iron maiden suspended several feet in the air above a pit of fire. If found guilty there are sentenced to death and are immediately plunged into it.

One of her friends, Espella, is about to be subject to a guilty sentence, and after declaring “this just isnt right” she makes a leap onto the iron maiden, gets it open and orders her to jump onto a nearby chandelier. Meanwhile guards are desperately trying to come in and recapture espella. During this confusion Maya is accidentally caught and shoved into the iron maiden and plunged into the fire.

Phoenix believes Maya has been killed for a good part of the game and Maya wakes up in a strange land unaware of how to find Phoenix again

I talk about this scene a lot but I feel like it really highlights just how brave Maya is. Because for a lot of the game you see Maya pushing Phoenix into the line of fire. If there’s a show of danger, for example when El Tigre seems like he’s about to go on a violent rampage Maya hides behind Nick.

But when it really counts Maya is more than willing to put her life on the line to save other people. Not even for just her friends, but if it just means saving the life of someone innocent.

Vulnerability in front of others

During PL vs AA, there is of course, a reunited scene between Maya and Phoenix later in the game that many fans found lackluster. Once they see each other, Maya belts out a YOOOOOOO NIIIICK before carrying on as usual. Ive seen countless people redo the scene as something more emotional- more crying more hugging. But honestly I think this was just more in character for Maya.

Maya’s always been the type to put up a strong front if she can. And later on you do get a brief scene of Maya tearing up and saying “I thought I’d never see you again” before she quickly moves on. She’s just not the type to run crying into phoenixes arms and try to bottle up those ‘sappy’ emotions unless she cant do it anymore. She’ll laugh off serious moments if physically possible.

In other scenes you can see her being very sensitive with other people and their feelings, such as when adrien andrews begins hyperventilating and shes the first one at her side telling ‘take a deep breath and just breath. it’s going to be ok’

#HEADCANON「 waxing philisophical power hour 」

13 notes · View notes

leggigoesabroad · 5 years

Text

skipping down sixteenth avenue

We woke up the next morning honestly fuggin AMPED because it was a full day at sea. We had big plans to get some work done, explore the ship, day drink, revel in it all, etc. But immediately we all felt so seasick that mid-meeting in Brooke’s room she just said “this isn’t happening. Let’s all go back to bed.” And we snorted lines of Dramamine and napped (essentially.) We got an invitation that morning for dinner with the captain that night, which just so happened to be the ship’s formal night that we didn’t know existed. Cue PANIC as I accused them all of trying to haze me by not telling me I needed to bring anything other than athleisure. The nicest thing I brought with me was a floral jumpsuit so I tried my best to blend in but goddamn it these women were wearing like, sparkly evening gowns, strapless bodycon dresses, etc. Couldn’t even go shopping anywhere since we were at sea all day. Brooke says it was Nick’s fault, Nick and I secretly remember it was Brooke’s fault as she was the one who told us that Alaskan cruises don’t have formal nights…. Sigh. I’ve only just now started to get over it. Combined with feeling like death all day and then having to be on good behavior for the very peculiar captain, things were dire. The lack of formalwear also of course meant that I felt the need to get ahead of it to everyone I encountered the entire night. “Just so you know I was told there wasn’t a formal night!!” **manic laughter drawing attention to myself** “I would never think this was appropriate for a formal night or dinner with the captain, we didn’t know! We’re here for work! It was a miscommunication!” **more manic laughter and essentially forcing people to say I look nice** “I dress way better at home, had I known I would have fit right in!! You can imagine. I compensated by getting rip-roaring drunk and OD’ing on Dramamine which led me to a coma-like state I tried to Adderall-away the rest of the cruise. Hate me cuz u ain’t me.

The captain was ssssssooo strange – pleasant, but just on a different level of awareness than most normal people. Lived in his own little captain world. Old and British and told stories that made no sense and weren’t really relevant. Overly polite but also we felt like he didn’t want to be there. By the way, I saw captain multiple times a day and at EVERY meal. I swear he’s just a figurehead who never drives the boat himself. We did a bridge tour later in the week and he made a point to roll on through and look like he was “captain-ing” at one point when we all know he just chills and makes his officers do it. Towards the end of the trip we were talking to him one day and asked how his day was, and he said he had to get up at 4 am to dock and was exhausted and slept all day afterwards. First of all, 4 am isn’t that much earlier than a normal early wake-up time. Second of all, docking start to finish only takes like 45 minutes MAX. Third of all, it’s your job!!!!!!!

We finally pulled into our first port in Ketchikan on Thursday morning. The boys each had a fun shore excursion to do (bear sanctuary, ziplining) but Brooke, Yolanda and I had a day of running from vendor to vendor to spend about 15 minutes each just learning what they offered and asking questions. Yolanda used to travel in Alaska with Seabourn back in 2013, so she greeted every tour operator in every town as if they were her long-lost brother or sister and reunited after being away at war for six years. You’ll hear more about it as these blogs go on but lord she is the most dramatic person I have ever met and also not self-aware whatsoever but it’s fucking hysterical. Today when we said goodbye I said, “honestly, Yolanda, I can’t remember a time before I knew you.” And that’s about how I can sum up our relationship.

The bopping around was not as fun because we didn’t actually participate in any of the activities, and it was pouring rain. But all things considered, not as bad as I expected it would be. We met two super-hot fishermen (each of whom had a baby with their wives in the last week smh where do I get one) and heard all about their different excursions. They sounded dope but there was freshly caught fish all around us on the docks and their eyes stared at me during the whole spiel and I couldn’t focus. Why are fish eyes SO CREEPY? After a few more stops around town, our local tour operator Kari drove us to the end of the island to George Inlet Lodge and met one of the owner/operators, CANDI, who gave me a real “mom in Justified /Aunt Lydia in Handmaid’s Tale / whatever her real name is who just won an Emmy” vibe, except less cold blooded murder-y. They showed us their boats and excursions and then fed us an authentic meal just like the members would get, which included Dungeness crab legs. I told myself before the trip started that I’d HAVE to try and eat more seafood because a) it’s fresh AF in Alaska so this is the place b) my excuse of “but it’s too expensive at restaurants” can’t apply here #freeunlimitedfood and c) I should try to immerse myself in the culture. If Kitty ever reads this she’ll die, also Kitty you should never go to Alaska. We’re going to keep a running tab on all the seafood, I tried, okay?! First: the “dungie” crabs. Learned how to crack them open and everything. They were relatively tasty, but I still don’t get why people lose their shit over crab legs, especially because it’s soooooo much work for so little payout. I’m more of a low investment, high reward type.

After the lodge we drove to the opposite end of the island and got on a boat to drive out to Hump Island (lol) Oyster Farm, where a 20-year-old kid named Sean showed us around his dad’s operation. He was the epitome of what I imagine an Alaskan braaaaaaaah to be and he was cracking me up. All self-deprecating humor about how no 20-year-old should know as much about oysters as him and all he wants to do is chill with his friends in the summer, not tumble oysters 12 hours a day. There were tons of pots all around the little floating island and he explained it takes an oyster about 3 years to grow to maturity and be ready to be eaten/sold, so I asked him if the pots were organized by relative age so you know which ones are new and which need more time, etc. He said, “honestly we’re just oyster farmers we’re not the brightest most organized guys in the world but that would make sense, wouldn’t it” but all with a sweet douchey little smile only a college kid could get away with. The thing that struck me most was just how different “summer jobs” in Alaska are for kids than in say, DC. They don’t work at fast food restaurants or for their dad’s law firm or at daycare blah blah blah, they work on boats or on oyster farms or fishing or logging or giving tours to cruise passengers. Builds character! And calluses! They fed us fresh oysters after that which I really didn’t want because I had an oyster one time and I thought it was gross, but again, had to. And it tasted better than I remember probably because I was literally on the farm where it was grown, kinda like how beer tastes better at a brewery because it never has to travel.

Back on the ship that night, we ate at what is literally called The Restaurant. The ship only has a few dining options – The Restaurant, which is pretty shmancy and requires a reservation (but not for us VIPs of course who had the same table reserved for us every night), the Colonnade (buffet-style, ate all of our breakfasts and lunches there) and the Grill, which is a VERY SHMANCY Thomas Keller restaurant that has cut-throat competition for reservations and apparently our members lose their minds over. We ate there a few nights later and I accidentally got hammered on my new favorite drink, Old Cubans, and had to be essentially rolled out of there in front of the Super Hot Waiter I’m in Love With, Thomas from Belgium. Literally just conjured his face in my mind when typing this and felt an internal swoon. I miss him so much. ANYWAY we ate at the Restaurant each night, which had fixed menu options on the right hand side and a rotating left menu. I tried to be ~adventurous but mostly ate a lot of steak. Had a black truffle risotto one night and literally loved it so much asked for a second portion. Going to the lake this weekend and stuffing myself in a bikini is going to be like, a three-person job. We had the same two servers each night – Anastasiia, a 25-year-old Russian girl who love/hated us and today tried to do a bike excursion after never having ridden a bike before and eventually gave up because she crashed too much (I said, “Anastasiia! You can’t just try and ride a bike and hope it goes well, you need someone to guide/teach you until you’re comfortable!” Smh) and Simba, a South African angel who had a crush on me and calmly put up with all of my Lion King jokes. Listen, other than Super Hot Waiter Thomas, they all had a crush on me. Maybe they found my complete lack of adherence to their dress code sexy in a “fuck the rules” kind of way?? (How is one supposed to dress for “elegant casual” nightly anyway…) Maybe it was how I insisted night over night that I was “one of them” and not a client because I was here for a site visit and begged them to let me hang out with them? (The assistant Maitre’D Marius tried to pull so many strings to allow us to be invited to crew Bingo night but alas, we were rejected.) Or maybe it was because I was one of the only people on the ship under the age of 60 and I shamelessly chatted and flirted with everyone I saw, at every meal… It’s hard to say. Simba even publicly sang me a love song at the last night at dinner.

Slept that night and woke up to the most magical, mystical, ethereal scenery of the Misty Fjords surrounding us. I’ll post a picture so you can truly understand how magical these were. Pouring rain but gorgeous and foggy and tranquil. TO BE CONTINUED!

1 note · View note