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not-me-simping-for-blasty · 4 years ago

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I Melt With You - Bakugou Katsuki

All Parts:

Part 7:

You don’t see him for nearly four weeks.

Apparently, Bakugou actually listening to your request was a one time deal- and you’d already used it up a month ago.

You watch him though- once again leafing through newspapers and headlines and hero highlights. Day by day he looks a little more angry, high-strung and volatile as he brushes aside nosy press and zealous citizens. He’s never mean to them, Dynamite never is, but he is short- no longer sticking around to bask in the praises so many seem to heap onto him. You begin to think that maybe that’s a hint of Bakugou showing though; a bit of whoever he is when he shows up at your door. The thought leaves you checking your balcony at night, hoping and praying not to see him standing there half-dead.

You think you understand now: no matter what he agreed to, Bakugou was still trying to fix his problems himself. And that’s perfectly fine, you know full well you’re not anyone special, but still, a part of you can’t help but hurt for him. Can’t help but wish he wasn’t so intent on running himself ragged for the entire world to see.

When you see him next, Bakugou is knocking on your balcony door. Knuckles against the glass, sluggish and slow as he wraps another arm around his abdomen. He’s still in costume, but forgoing the mask- it’s hard to miss the purpling under his eyes, even harder to miss the blood dried up across his forehead.

“C’mon, did we not just have this conversation?” You sigh, ushering him in quickly. “The whole reason I told you to start coming over more often is because of this. Believe it or not, but I actually take no joy out of seeing you hurt.”

“Yeah. Whatever. Stop complaining. It’s a few busted knuckles and some blood- no need to bitch about it like I’m fuckin’ dying.”

Bakugou shuffles past you, hunched over and slow. He’s grunting, huffing in pain, twitching fingers clutching at the seared edge of his costume. There’s a hole burned through the material. His exposed ribs are covered in pink, angry skin.

“No, it’s burns too. Apparently.” You tell him, hovering just behind him. You help him settle on your couch. “Sit tight, I’ll go get the first aid kit. Maybe a few damp towels too.”

You follow a quick routine, gathering your med kit, and dampening a few towels with cool water. You’re back at his side in record time, cracking and shaking an instant cold-compress between your fingers. You wrap it in a towel, handing it to him.

“Just hold it. And don’t fight, please. If your knuckles swell up anymore it’s just going to be an even bigger mess for me.” You stare him down until he relents. “Actually, on second thought- wait on that. Take your shirt off first.”

“What the hell? No.”

“What do you mean, no? You’re wasting time, just take it off already. The burn isn’t gonna clean itself up and I can’t help you if all the fabric is in the way and I-“

You pause, looking up at his face. Bakugou won’t meet your eyes but he’s blushing. Just slightly, but you see it and you roll your eyes.

“Seriously? Now is literally the worst time for shame. Just do it. I don’t care. I see people’s bodies every day of my life.”

It’s Bakugou’s turn to roll his eyes, but then he huffs, sitting taller. He sucks in a harsh breath, biting out a curse as he shifts, arms rigid and tight when he shucks the costume off.

Under normal circumstances- you would probably be flustered. Although you were telling the truth, you did see people’s bodies every day, theirs never looked like Bakugou’s. Never looked like his defined pectorals and utterly ridiculous abs. Fortunately though, this wasn’t normal circumstances. Instead of smooth skin, Bakugou was covered in a large burn. A nasty looking one sprawling wide across his ribs, lines of irritation continuing to crawl red and angry up his back. You wouldn’t focus on anything but that.

“Sorry if this hurts. Really. But I have to.” You mutter, pressing a cool rag to the burn.

Bakugou sucks a breath, hissing before he screws his eyes shut. You try to apply gentle pressure, but even so, you’re sure it still hurts. It must if he’s hardly even fighting your treatment.

“The good news is, it’s only second degree.” You murmur, removing the rag gently, careful not to accidently drag it against his skin. “But, it’s across your ribs so it’ll probably hurt while you’re doing just about anything.”

“Coulda told you that my fuckin’ self.”

“I’m just saying. Just telling you what I think. Can I- can I ask you something though?”

He opens his eyes, squinting for a moment before he nods.

“It’s- I’m not sure how to say this, but these look identical to the burns you cause. Did you- did you do this to yourself?” You ask softly, delicately. “Are these from your quirk?”

Bakugou’s glare seems to intensify, red eyes seething and angry. You try not to shrink up, but truth be told, Bakugou cut an intimidating figure. A moment passes, and then he relents- eyes softening just a tiny bit as he averts them.

“Villain had a stupid quirk. Called it repel or some shit. Got blasted before I even knew what was happening.”

“So they’re yours, sort of, but not really. That’s alright. I only asked out of curiosity. Wasn’t trying to insinuate anything.”

“Yeah whatever, leech.”

“Hey, can you at least try to be nice to me?”

“No.”

“Yeah, probably should’ve guessed you’d say that.” You sigh, before backing away from him. You turn, digging through the first aid kit to find some gauze and medical tape. “Alright, sit up for me.”

Bakugou grunts, but does as he’s told. He hisses when the burned skin shifts, and you feel sorry for him all over again. It truly did look painful.

“Hey- uh, do you,”

“Spit it out already.”

“You barely let me even start- actually, you know what? Never mind. What I was gonna ask was,” You pause, looking up at him. “It looks like it hurts. Do you want my help? Like, my quirk I mean.”

“Fuck no.”

Bakugou’s face contorts into a sneer, jaw set and lips drawn thin across sharp teeth. He looks wild, and the tiredness in his eyes isn’t helping.

“Okay- okay, I get it. I won’t. I was just asking.” You assure, pressing some gauze lightly over the burn. Bakugou hisses again, and you wish he’d just let you help him already. “But really, it looks like it hurts, and I can see how tired you are on top of that. The option’s open, is all I’m saying. I wouldn’t mind.”

He just nods tightly before averting his eyes. You try to smile reassuringly at him, but something still doesn’t sit right with you. Maybe it’s the way his eyes look panicked, darting and tracking every shadow of your apartment, or maybe it’s the slight tremors you can feel under your fingertips. You wonder what happened- if he’d even tell you at all.

You shake the thought from your head, making quick work with the gauze. With gentle pressure you cover the large burn, securing the cloth with thin strips of medical tape. Under your hands, Bakugou seems rigid. He’s twitching and tensing, muscles contracting with every breath, his hands fisting the fabric of your couch. You watch him bite back another wince, squeezing the couch cushion until his knuckles go white. You finish covering the burn, resolving to try your earlier question again.

“Burns are one of the most painful injuries, you know. And yours is nothing to laugh at. So even if it’s only a little, just my skin and not my quirk, I’d still like to help you.” You start, sitting back on your knees to look up at him. “Only if you’d let me, though.”

Bakugou just stares, breathing slowly. His eye twitches, and then he speaks. “Why do you keep helping me?”

You blink back at him, the wind almost knocked out of your lungs. You’d already answered a similar question, several times, but this didn’t feel like those other times. Now his voice was quiet, defeated and grumbling, bitten out through uneven breaths. He wasn’t asking about everyone else- Bakugou was asking why you kept helping him.

You begin to wonder all over again- where he’d been, who he’d been fighting. Whoever if was seemed to still sit with him; puppeting him into asking things the Bakugou you knew would never ask.

“Because I meant what I said earlier. I don’t like seeing you hurt- especially not when I know I can help you.” You sigh, crossing your arms around your stomach. “I don’t like seeing anybody hurt, you know? And I mean, I know I’m not exactly saving people on the scale you are, but I still like to try. In my own way.”

Bakugou seems to just look at you for a moment, before his shoulders are slumping.

“Fine. Leech.”

“Huh?”

“Take your glove off.” He says flatly, hardly even blinking as he regards you. “One. And don’t use your quirk.”

You straighten a bit, nodding minutely. Bakugou watches you with intense focus, tracking you as you slip a glove off. You’re not sure what to do next, but then he’s grabbing hold of your wrist, curling his slightly shaking fingers around it. For a moment you assume the tremors must be residual adrenaline- but the feeling coursing through your veins next feels anything but that.

Your side feels hot, a burn crawling across your ribs to mirror Bakugou’s; but almost as soon as the heat rises, it’s snuffed out. Instead of the subtle warmth you’d come to associate with him- it’s cold. A chill through your veins as if you’d been out in the snow for too long. It’s not overwhelming, but you feel it, shivering slightly as goosebumps claim smooth skin. It’s fear- but more than anything else, it’s sadness. Something slow and sluggish. Makes your blood feel like gelatinous sludge until he lets go of you.

You feel a little sick, a little nauseous, and when you look at Bakugou it only makes the sinking feeling worse. He’s got his eyes closed, huffing a deep sigh of relief. Something that covers his entire face in solace and has your heart shattering.

You didn’t use your quirk- but you could tell, from a single touch, that whatever he was feeling, whatever he was dealing with, should’ve taken just about anyone out- but there he was. Solid and stubborn like always.

You wonder where he gets that strength from. What possible reserves Bakugou could possibly have left to drawn from.

He must see the look on your face because then he’s averting his eyes. “Don’t fuckin’ say anything. I already know, and I’m not gettin’ into it with you of all people.”

His insult hardly holds any bite, just defensiveness and strange apprehension. You steamroll right on past it.

“It’s- are you sure? Bakugou, that’s- I’ve never,”

“No.”

His tone is steel, eyes boring into yours with a resolve you’d never seen before. Bakugou seems unmovable in that moment, unbreakable, even as his body nearly collapses from exhaustion. It’s an impressive thing; to watch a fire catch on embers you could’ve sworn were doused already.

You think there’s a quiet strength in that- a power all his own that has nothing to do with explosions, or shouting, or fists.

“Yeah. Okay.” You nod. “That’s- I get it. Not tonight.”

Bakugou seems abated by that as he sinks back into the couch. He looks at you expectantly, and then flicks his eyes back to his bruised knuckles.

“Gonna fix this shit or not?” He grumbles. “It’s your fuckin’ job isn’t it?”

And just like that you’re shocked back to life. You slip your glove back on, pulling his bruised hands toward you.

His hands are a mottled mess of bruises and burns and scabbed over scrapes. They’re warm, nearly pulsating with heat, and you try your best to handle them delicately. Luckily, the cold compress seemed to have helped the swelling, and all you have left to do is press a few butterfly bandages into the larger cuts. It’s quick work and before you know it, you’re wrapping his knuckles up with an ace bandage.

“Hey, I have a question.” You start, carefully weaving the bandage around his hand. “You don’t have to answer or anything, but I am curious.”

Bakugou rolls his eyes, but he looks a little more tired then before. Less combative. “Go. Ask.”

“It seems like you’ve always got these bruises? Do you not wear gloves?”

“No. Course not. How the hell am I supposed to make a massive fuckin’ explosion wearing those piece-a-shits?”

You look at him, and Bakugou’s eyes are a little more lidded than before. His voice sings sincerity though. More conviction than ever.

“Yeah. I didn’t think of that.” You laugh under your breath. “Sorry- dumb question, I guess.”

“Yep.”

“You’re not supposed to agree with me!”

“Had to. It was true.” He just shrugs, watching you intently. Then he’s sitting up a little, shifting to get more comfortable. “You fucked up the left one. Do it again.”

“I- I just finished that one!”

“Yeah? And? I’m telling you to do it again.”

“And I’m telling you it’s fine.”

“God, you fuckin’ suck at this. I’m a pro-hero, aren’t you supposed to kiss the ground I walk on?”

“No. Tried that already, remember? You still didn’t seem to like me when I was playing nice at work.” You roll your eyes, but start rewrapping his hand anyway. “You know, if all of the pro-heroes are as difficult as you, I might as well just quit now.”

“What- you haven’t fuckin’ met ‘em yet?”

“Nope. Just you.”

Bakugou doesn’t say anything, but when you glance up at him, he’s not looking at you. His eyes are staring straight past, focusing on a spot on the wall. It might just be the low lighting, but you swore you could’ve seen a smile edging at the corner of his lips.

“Not missin’ much.” He says, clearing his throat. “They’re all losers compared to me.”

You nearly balk at that- the brazen tone catching you by surprise almost as much as the words themselves did. You’re about to scold him, for his hubris and for his attitude, but when you look at him he’s smiling openly. A grin that only widens when you scrunch your eyebrows up.

“You’re too easy, leech.” Bakugou smirks. “Could say anything and you’d flip shit.”

“I would not!”

“What the hell do you call that then?” He nods in the direction of your hands, the way one of them is curled into a fist. “Look pissed to me.”

“That’s not even- and who even gave you the right- you hypocrite!” You sputter, almost growling when Bakugou’s smile just widens. “God, you know what, no- I’m not giving you the reaction. I know that’s all you’re after anyways. Jerk.”

“Been called worse. Gotta up your insult game, dumbass.”

“No, I think jerk suits you fine.” You finish with his bandage, placing his hands on his lap. You stand. “It’s a good name for someone who actively enjoys watching the world burn.”

“To fuckin’ ashes.”

You just rolls your eyes at his confident tone, trying not to screech as he suddenly tips to the side. Just a little, just a teeny bit, but more than enough for him to almost rub the dried blood on his forehead into your cushions.

“Oh my god- where you raised in a barn?” You scramble to tip him back upright, careful to avoid his burns. “You’ve got somebody’s blood! All over your face! Don’t just lay down on my couch!”

“What the hell do you want me to do?” He grumbles tiredly, rubbing a bandaged hand down his face. “Not- ‘m not gettin’ up again.”

“Why?”

“Your stupid quirk fuckin’ zapped me, leech. Your fault, you fix it if there’s such a fuckin’ problem.”

“There is a problem!”

“Okay- so you fix it.”

“You’re- seriously?”

“Yep.”

“Oh my god, you’re irritating.” You sigh, muttering a swear under you’re breath.

Then you’re heading towards your kitchen, tossing the rags you’d already used aside, and grabbing new ones. These are just as soft, because you’re way nicer than deserves, and you run them under warm water. Because, once again, you are way more considerate and kind than he deserves.

You squeeze the excess water out, striding back over to him. You stop behind the back of the couch, gently guiding his head back until he’s looking up at you. In any other situation, you’d probably just tell him to take a shower, but now you can see Bakugou wasn’t kidding- he didn’t look like he was getting up any time soon. Not if he continued to be as boneless and pliant as he seemed at that moment.

When he nods at you insistently, you roll your eyes. You think it’s rich that he’s trying to speed along a process that he’s entirely uninvolved in.

“Jesus, did you have to get so much of it all over you?” You gripe, gently pressing the rag to his cheek. “What’d you do? Stab the guy?”

“No.” He mutters darkly, almost pouting. “And it was a woman. A stupid woman who I had to use my fists against! Bitch could repel my quirk.”

“Okay- well, let’s maybe not call women bitches please-“

“What’s the big deal? I call you a bitch all the time-“

“Yes! I know! That’s the problem!” You sigh, already knowing it was a lost cause. “But still- this is a lot of blood. You really didn’t have to bash her brains in like that.”

“Didn’t. Hit her once- in the nose. Not my fault she fuckin’ sprayed everywhere.”

“No- I’m pretty sure that’s exactly the definition of your fault.”

“Yeah. Whatever. Shut up, leech.”

Then he’s squinting his eyes, falling into silence. You almost want to talk again, but once the quiet settles you find that it’s nice.

He’s a lot calmer now, tilting his head slightly to accommodate wherever you were cleaning. Bakugou mostly keeps his eyes closed, only peeking them open occasionally. It’s a rare glimpse, and he’s careful only to look when you’re not, but you don’t need your quirk to tell what he’s feeling. There’s vulnerability there- the same type of surrender you’ve seen from so many patients before.

You wonder if that would anger or soothe him- the fact that, at his core, Bakugou wasn’t all that different from the people he saved.

“I see you opening your eyes.” You speak quietly, dabbing at a spot of blood near his hairline. “Not falling asleep this time?”

“Nope.”

“Really? Because your eyes are closed right now.”

“And?”

“Kinda makes it seem like you’re falling asleep.”

“I- ‘m not. Shut up.”

You just smile a little bit, wiping away the red staining his forehead. You try your best to be gentle, but a part of you doesn’t think it really matters all that much anymore. Bakugou seemed to be entirely relaxed, going soft and languid into the plush cushioning of your couch.

“You’re lucky I’m nice.” You say, running the rag over a particularly persistent spot of blood. “And that I’m not making you do this yourself.”

“Mhm.”

“That’s all you got? Nothing else to say?”

“Nope. Tired.”

“Go to sleep then. I won’t mind- nothing’s stopping you.”

“Nah.” He breathes out, eyes fluttering beneath his lids. Bakugou goes quiet, so quiet you nearly believe he’s actually fallen asleep, but then he’s clearing his throat, grumbling slightly. “‘s nice.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Shut up.”

“Fine. Fine, whatever you want. You know, since you seem to be pretty intent at making yourself at home here anyways.”

He smiles a little at that, but it’s soft and quickly fading. You think he looks like a different man in that moment- someone much softer and smaller than he really was.

“Stop.” He mumbles. “Stop complaining.”

“Says the man who uses his oxygen to bitch more than he breathes.”

“Oi-“ He peeks an eye open lazily, red eye focusing on you intently. “Watch it, leech.”

“What’re you gonna do? Bleed all over my apartment again- oh, wait.” You joke softly, moving your rag so just the tips of it brushing over his closed eyelids. The way his eyes flutter at that makes you smile. “You already did that, didn’t you?”

“That’s fuckin’ it.”

“What is?”

“Say your prayers.” He threatens vaguely, voice hardly more than a grumble. “You’re dead when I wake up.”

“Meet me at 3 PM in the school parking lot?”

Bakugou cracks another small smile at that, but then he’s smoothing it out. Just as he always does. “Show up late ‘n I’m killing you twice.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. You know where I live, right?”

“Damn straight, woman.”

“Not gonna add shitty in front of that?” You laugh indulgently, swiping the rag near his ear. “Usually that’s your tagline.”

“Nah. Not bein’ that shitty- right now. Still too nice though.”

“Hey, everyone is too nice compared to you- I really don’t think you’re a fair judge.”

“I am.”

“Because you say so, right?”

“Yep. Kill ya if you disagree, so watch your mouth.”

“Colorful threat. I’d almost be scared if you didn’t slur your way through the entirety of it.” You smile, dabbing away the last bit of blood and soot on his cheek. “All done now- so go to sleep. Stop fighting it.”

Bakugou nods. He’s still, much more still than you’ve ever seen him, but there’s still fight in him. He seems determined not to let sleep catch up with him, rubbing loosely at his eyes with a fist; blinking away the bleariness as he regards you once more.

“Thanks.” Is all he mumbles, before closing his eyes, falling back entirely boneless once more.

You’re shocked- rooted where you stand just few inches above him.

“Did- did you just-“

“Say anythin’ and it won’t happen again.”

His tone is a little harsh, but the sleepy grin stretched across his face betrays him. Helps you see through the name calling for what it really is: childish mischief.

You think that’s rather fitting. The Bakugou you’d come to know was rather juvenile, after all.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, I’m a bloodsucking parasite. You gotta come up with new material, man.” You flick his forehead lightly. He has almost no reaction, doesn’t even flinch when you make contact. “Alright, now go to sleep. Because, and I mean this with full offense, Bakugou- you look like shit.”

You wonder if you’re toeing the line, playing with dangerous fire, but Bakugou just grins again. A tired, lazy, unbidden thing, that licks rolling warmth at the heels of his next words.

“Only look like shit because I keep associatin’ with you. Rollin’ in it at this point.”

“That’s- Hey!” You sputter, indignant as he peeks an eye open. “Don’t be rude!”

“Kiddin’, leech.”

“You better be.”

“Mhm. Now go away. I’m fuckin’ tired.”

When he tips sideways again, you let him. Bakugou’s still in the bottom half of his hero costume, sure, but he’s not disturbing the bandages on his ribs. There’s no more blood either, so you count it as a win. It takes all over seconds before he’s out, and you wonder just how long he’d been fighting it. Why he’d even do such a thing in the first place.

There’s still something biting at you though- a bit of that cold he’d left you with earlier. Something sympathetic in you aches, and your fingers itch in your gloves. Almost without thinking, you grab the blanket for him. Bakugou hardly reacts when you tuck the cloth around his shoulders, just barely flutters his eyes and snuffles a bit. He pulls his limb in a bit, nestling into the couch and mumbling something you can’t hear.

A part of you knows it pointless, but still, you hope whatever he’s dreaming about is warm.

--/--

sorry about the wait y’all!! had exams n felt a bit burnt out ://

all good now tho!! refreshed n excited haha,, i hope u all enjoyed!!

taglist: @fluffyviciousbunny @definitelynottrin @imsuperawkward @i-need-air @ahbeautifulexistence @brennabooz @jazzylove @flattykawadoorusmilkbread @katsuki-bakubabe @sorrythatspussynal @bakugouswh0r3 @cloudsgathering @un-limit-edd @thekatsukisimp @pollayra21 @the2ndl @officialtrashbusiness @waffleareniceandfluffy @monempathieetmoi @koiwoshinai @christianagrace9 @the2ndl @the-shota-king-masayuki @shy-panda02 @devastyle @shoto-supremacy00

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horansqueen · 4 years ago

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New Angel - Chapter 11

story masterlist [x]

chapter 1 ☆ chapter 2 ☆ chapter 3 ☆ chapter 4 ☆ chapter 5 ☆ chapter 6 ☆ chapter 7 ☆ chapter 8 ☆ chapter 9 ☆ chapter 10

NOTES

☆ written from Niall’s pov ☆ i don’t proofread, I never do, I hate it. ☆ AU comedy/fluff/smut/romance ☆ 2.6k ☆ i accept requests and ideas for this story, so message me in my inbox! ☆ if you want to be notified when this story is updated (or be taken off the update list) CLICK HERE

NIALL

We remained half an hour together in silence. I tried to focus on her breathing or the way her fingers would squeeze mine from time to time. After a while though, I decided to get up and ask everyone to leave. It took me twenty minutes until the apartment was empty but I couldn't lie and pretend I hadn't noticed Louis' shoes near the door along with a pair I had never seen before. Thinking that we would all have to eat breakfast together on the next morning was making me nauseous but I decided not to mention anything to Millie.

"Wow, it's so quiet. Did you kill everyone?" she asked with a smirk, making me chuckle as I leaned against her door frame.

"Told them to leave. I just thought it was late enough."

"Thank you, Niall. For... listening."

I glanced at the hall and decided to walk back in her room and close the door behind me. I was pretty sure Louis couldn't hear anything or that he would even want to, or try to, but I didn't want to take the chance.

"How do you feel?" I asked softly, walking closer to her as she sat up and leaned against the wall behind her.

"Like shit." she admitted, shrugging a shoulder. "I spent all night crying, and I want to do that again right now but I'm exhausted. I just don't want Louis to know, because I don't want him to feel bad. I'm so... scared to lose him completely."

I blinked a few times, feeling my heart twist in my chest at her confession, and finally licked my lips. "Wait here."

I didn't wait for her answer and quickly rushed out to reach the kitchen. I was gone for less than a minute and when I closed the door behind me again, I held the wine bottle to Millie and kept the vodka one before sitting back on her bed, facing her. She laughed and shook her head, already a bit tipsy, and tilted her head a bit, still staring at me.

"That's the best remedy when you feel like shit."

"One that you end up regretting in the morning." she pointed out, raising her eyebrows with a grin.

I shrugged and took a sip of vodka, trying not to make a grimace as it burned my throat. "They say what matters is now, so let's numb that pain."

Once again, Millie laughed and took a long sip of wine. The more she drank, the more my lips curled and after a while, I decided to go sit next to her, if only to be able to lean against the wall. I was feeling dizzy and blinked a few times to see better, but I also felt in peace and happy. I didn't want to think about Grace and how she broke my heart. I didn't want to think about Summer and her confession. I just wanted to get drunk and forget that I even had a heart at all. I wanted to forget that it was broken, that it was aching, that it was beating.

"I don't think you can really lose Louis." I admitted after we joked and laughed for over an hour. "A friendship like the three of us have... it can't be broken like that."

"People change, Niall. You and I were not really close a few weeks ago. You seriously got on my nerves and I was pretty sure I was annoying you, too."

I smiled sadly and turned to her, feeling my lips curl into a fond smile despite myself. I was drunk and tired but I knew exactly what I was saying and I couldn't lie to her anyway.

"Yea, you got on my nerves. You still do, but a bit differently. I never met anyone else who was so... honest and open about everything. It can be a shock sometimes, but I'm getting used to it."

Millie grabbed the bottle of vodka from my hands and that's when I realized that she had swallowed what was left of the wine. She took a small sip and wiped her mouth with the back of her hands before giving me the bottle back.

"I've been lied to so much. I've been... played, and cheated on, and had my heart broken. I told you, I know a lot about break ups." she admitted right before her eyes met mine. I could read how sad and hurt she was and I wanted to take her in my arms to comfort her. "I was always quite forward but when I was 14, after my first break up, I decided I'd never lie. I know sometimes I'm rude and I'm sorry. I'll work on that."

"I'm mostly used to hypocrite people. They don't know that I can read them and know what they really think. The cool thing with you is that I always know what you really think. That's not a flaw." I said before my voice became softer. "I don't get why you're lying to Louis about your feelings, though. Why are you sparing him?"

Her small smile fell and I could see her eyes water but we both remained motionless. "It's me I'm trying to save, Niall. It's a selfish move. I'm not trying to get him back, or show him what he's missing. I'm trying to get over him quick so I can get my friend back."

The fact that we were both trying to get over someone we had feelings for, even if for different reason, made me feel suddenly closer to her. The story was different, the relationships were different, but that hole in our chests was the exact same, I knew it.

"Maybe you should try to find a friends with benefits like what I have with Summer." I shrugged a shoulder, making her chuckle low.

"That's what I had with Louis apparently. I think I'm gonna pass for now."

I let my eyes roam on her face and she leaned her head against the wall, closing her eyes. She looked miserable and I knew I probably looked just as bad. I started asking myself if she was right, and if maybe I shouldn't have started something with someone so soon, even if it was just a sex thing. I was not ready and I felt like I was just playing with Summer. I had been clear, or at least I thought I had, but with what she had told me earlier at the party I knew I was going to have to take a decision and then have a painful discussion with her. It made me want to lock me here, with Millie, and never come out.

"You're gonna miss having sex." I pointed out.

She opened her eyes as her eyebrows raised and when she turned her head my way, her lips curled into an amused smile. "Why do you think that?"

"I heard you and Louis," I started with a chuckle, shaking my head. "I only have three words : hard, intense and often."

I felt my heart jump in my chest, feeling suddenly bad that I brought up Louis again, along with a few good memories they had and I was pretty sure a few of those sexual encounters were playing in her mind at that exact moment but she just smiled more before bursting out in laughter.

"Okay, maybe you're right, Niall!" she admitted in-between chuckles. "I'm probably gonna miss sex! But I have hands. And toys. I'll be okay. Maybe you'll even hear me again!"

My face twisted in a grimace and I let out a short groan, making her laugh even more. She pushed me gently and I nudged her back. "That's way too much info!"

"Hey, if no one's gonna take care of my libido, then I will!" she argued with a big smile. "I know you touch yourself too, even when you were with Grace, and even now that you literally have a fuck buddy. It's just human nature."

"Maybe, but at least I'm discreet and quiet!"

"Probably because your orgasms are weak."

We both started laughing and when I glanced at her, she was laughing so hard that a few tears were falling down her cheeks.

I don't know how long we chatted and I couldn't remember when I fell asleep but I woke up in the middle of the night with a headache and feeling quite nauseous. I got up slowly and with difficulty, trying not to wake Millie up, and dragging my feet until the bathroom. I swallowed some meds and ended up drinking two full glasses of water before leaning against the counter and closing my eyes. It's only when I got out of the bathroom that I heard noises coming from the living room. I walked slowly, seeing lights moving around and frowned before realizing it was probably the tv. I stopped near the wall, leaning the side of my body against it until Louis looked up at me with tired eyes and a sorry smile.

"Are you still mad at me?"

I stared at him a few seconds and sighed low before shaking my head. His smile got slightly bigger and I walked to him, letting myself fall on the couch. I grimaced again as the pain in my head started thumping harder but I just closed my eyes for a few seconds and finally turned to Louis again.

"Mill told me she's the one who told you that you could bring your girlfriend." I admitted, debating whether or not I could say more without betraying Millie. "It's just.. Tommo, you should know better."

"I don't know, Niall." he started, looking down at his hands as he played nervously with his fingers. "I don't want to hurt Millie, but I'm so in love with Eleanor... I've never loved anyone like that, and I know I'll never feel like that for anyone ever again in my life. I know you can understand, right? I know you've been through that before."

His voice was soft and he didn't have to tell me how he felt. Just the way he pronounced her name, the way he talked about her, I knew he was head over heels in love with her. He was gentle and soft with Millie too, but never the way he was with his new girlfriend. I could almost see hearts in his eyes, even in the darkness of the room.

"I still love Grace, but if she came back, I don't know if I'd want to try again with her. She betrayed me and she broke me." I explained, shrugging a shoulder and staring into space as my ex girlfriend's face appeared in my mind. "I don't think I'd ever be able to trust her again."

"Do you think... Millie will ever trust me again?"

I held my breath and turned to look at him, blinking a few times. He looked sincerely scared and I sent him a small smile before nodding slowly. "Yea, probably. But it'll take time."

Their friendship seemed to be important for both of them and I couldn't help but hope it would get solved, too. Perhaps it was a bit selfish but I didn't want to be stuck in the middle of all this. I just wanted us to be friends like we used to be, and even closer, since I was now building a real and strong friendship with Millie. It was crazy to think that our broken hearts made us bond and it was a bit sad at the same time, but I guess it's true when they say that something good always comes out of a bad experience. Millie was my 'good thing' and I was thankful for her.

"It's cool that she's got you." Louis confessed in a low tone. "I've been a bad friend to her recently... or whatever you want to call the relationship we used to have. I mean, Im surprised. Millie doesn't trust easily. But it's cool."

I didn't want to tell him that all Millie needed was someone to care and listen to her but it's still what I thought. Somehow, she seemed to step aside or hide so no one would really ask about her. She was so used to help people but was uncomfortable when I was trying to help her in return. Shouldn't Louis know that?

"I'm happy I have her, too."

---

I could have walked back to my room to sleep in my bed but I hesitated, standing in the middle of the hall, my eyes moving from my door to Millie's door over and over again. I finally walked back in her room slowly to make sure I wouldn't wake her up and lied back down in bed next to her, over the covers. I brought my hands under my head and stared at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. I couldn't stop thinking about Grace and Summer, trying to find out how I felt for them and what I could do about it. I finally turned on my side and fell asleep staring at Millie's back.

Unfortunately, the doorbell woke me up very early the next morning, or so I thought. I could feel the sun hitting my eyes and I groaned low, turning around and pushing my face in one of Millie's pillows. There was no way I was going to answer the door. I was not alone here and I was clearly hungover which, in my opinion, deserved a few more hours of sleep. I was about to fall back into slumber when it rang again. This time, Millie groaned next to me and moved a bit.

"There's someone annoying at the door!" she yelled in a mumble to whoever wanted to hear.

No one answered and I started wondering if Louis was still home or if he had left earlier with his girlfriend. I wanted to say he took into consideration what I had told him the night before and that he was kind enough to spare Millie some more pain and at the same time, I wanted him to be there so I wouldn't have to go answer the door.

It rang for the third time and Millie and I groaned at the exact same time, making me chuckle tiredly.

"Please Niall? Can you go?" she asked in a smooth and honeyed voice. "I'm heartbroken."

"I'm heartbroken too." I muttered low, my face still pressed on her pillow.

"Mine is more recent."

I tried to find an argument but finally just groaned and forced myself to get up. I grabbed a pillow and threw it at her head, making her chuckle sleepily.

"Next time it's you!"

"Yea yea..."

I rolled my eyes with a small smile and once again dragged my feet to the front door. I yawned and passed my hand in my hair, noticing how messy it was. As I opened the door, I told myself that perhaps I should have get dressed by my mind went completely blank when my eyes met the person on the other side of the door. My heart sank in my chest and my lips parted but I couldn't seem to move.

"Grace?"

The look she sent me was a mix of hope and guilt and it made me frown. I couldn't help but think that I had called it by discussing it with Louis during the night and at the same time, I was trying to tell myself that she was probably just here because of something she forgot in my room. After all, last time she was here was because she needed her passport, right?

"Niall, I really need to talk to you."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan story #niall horan love story #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan writing #niall horan au #my fanfics #newangel

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g0ldengubler · 4 years ago

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chapter 7~instant crush

A/N: aaaaaa this chapter is so/so???? i guess it gets better at the end??? idk, i’m starting to get back into that “i’m not a good writer” mindset that i was in at the beginning of nauseous. i’m hoping to start writing another chapter super soon! i’m just stuck in rut and it’s showing in the chapters. i’ll work harder to make them better, but no promises. also listen to the song that the chapter was named after here. it’s literally one of my all time favorite songs on the planet lol. ok, i apologize in advance but i hope u still enjoy :)

Category: fluff

CW: smoking weed, mentions of toys and smoking tools and pieces

Word Count: 2680

before you read | last chapter | next chapter

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After what felt like days, you and Spencer had finally made it to your father's cabin. You hadn't been up north in years, all because you were so focused on getting your dream job. Driving down a dirt road, the smell of the trees mixed with rain had you feeling nostalgic, triggering memories of when you were a little girl, reading Charles Dickens under a tree or on the rocky shores of the lake. You couldn't wait to share these new memories here with him.

When you arrived in Michigan, you made sure you got all of your favorite goodies like Better Maid potato chips, Faygo's Rock'n'Rye, Vernors ginger ale, Superman ice cream, and you even made Spencer stop at your favorite pizza place, Buddy's, so you could get your favorite salad and a cheese pizza with light sauce and a crispy crust. He chuckled at how plain you like your pizza, but it was something you and your grandmother shared a loved for. You wanted Spencer to have as close to the Michigan experience he could because while you weren't in love with your home state, the small things you grew up with gave you joy.

The last errand you made before moving up north was to a dispo in Ann Arbor. Spencer couldn't go in with you, so you left him in the car (even though you wanted him to come in with you, he didn't have his card so it wouldn't work). Walking in, you showed the security guard your med card and continued your way through the store. Jars of bud covered the shelves on the wall. Glass showcases were filled with wax. Each strain (no matter what form) had labels in front of them, giving information about it and what it could do to help with any specific problem like joint pains or body spasms. You never really had a preference on what strain was best, nor got too picky if it was an indica, sativa, or hybrid.

You talked with a staff member and asked what they suggested. You ended up getting some Cherry Pie flower, joint papers, hemp blunt wraps, and a mini bbq lighter. Once you grabbed the goods, you headed out to suddenly notice a store that was at the outdoor mall next door. A smile grew on your face as you ran back to the car, set your bag down behind your seat, and grabbing Spencer by his hand and pulled him with you to the mall.

"Silly girl, I thought we were done with the errands?" He asked.

"One more stop," you said eagerly, "I promise. Plus, I think you'll get a little kick out of it."

A small building appeared as you made him stop in front of it. You saw him look up at the sign, looking a little confused. "There's a store with the same name as me?"

"Wait till you get inside." You giggled.

Those who weren't familiar with the store would think it was an edgier Hot Topic, but once you showed him what was in the back of Spencer's, you saw his jaw drop and couldn't hold in the laugh that was brewing in your throat. "Told you you'd get a little kick out of it."

"Well I thought you meant because of the fact it's called Spencer's, not because of all the...toys...they have."

"Are you getting ideas, Doctor?"

He straightened himself out and fixed his sweater. "I cannot confirm, nor deny your question."

"Dr.Spencer Reid," you giggled, slapping his arm softly, "naughty boy."

"Are you getting idea's, Agent L/N?"

You were quiet for a moment. "...maybe." you mumbled.

Spencer just laughs at the little banter you just had. "Let's save it for when we're home. It'll give me time to really think about it."

As you're left there speechless, your clouded mind is interrupted by the look on his face as he looks at the dick shaped candy they had.

"Ok, ok," you giggled, "let me go find what I'm looking for and then my errands are done. I'm ready to just sit back on the couch, put a fire on, and relax."

From there you went to the middle of the store, where you grabbed a green rolling tray with a panda on his back smoking a joint, a hot pink grinder, and a game controller ashtray before going up to the cashier to pay. You then headed back to the car and headed off to the cabin.

The cabin hadn't changed a bit, with its Christmas lights still hung and the skeleton that was sitting on the porch chair. You thought maybe your dad did all this while you two were on your way, but whatever the reason, you could tell that Spencer was already in love with it once he saw the skeleton. You forgot how big the cabin was. It wasn't small like a fairy's cottage, but you could say it was smaller than Rossi's mansion.

The smell of pine needles and fire smoke filled your head with nostalgia as you entered. You dropped your bags and plopped on the couch. You felt at home, and with Spencer, the feeling was stronger than you could've ever felt. You let out a big sigh, smiling as you hold one of the couch pillows to your chest.

"If your father built this cabin, he's the genius not me." Spencer joked as he moved your legs over so he could sit down next to you. He let your legs rest on his lap, rubbing your legs awkwardly, giving you that awkward white guy smile.

"How about you put the bags in the bedroom and then we'll go exploring," you said as you adjusted your position, using the armrest as support, "I haven't been here in years and I'm feeling very nostalgic."

"Sounds like a plan!...um..." Spencer looks around the living room, trying to find the bedroom.

"Oh, sorry! It's straight down that hall on your left." You pointed over to the hallway next to him. Once he saw the open doors to the bedroom he grabbed your bags and sat them down. You got up as he walked to the room and started exploring. You started in the kitchen, looking back on the times you'd bake the most gooey chocolate chip cookies as your dad cooked the family stew. Your father always had a hobby for making food, didn't matter if it was a meaty dish or a beautiful dessert. You thought nothing could beat your father's cooking, and that became especially true when you went to college.

As you were walking to the hall, you noticed Spencer admire the artwork that was hanging on the walls. "Did you know that the first log cabins that were built in America were emigrants from Sweden and Finland?" He asked. "They had been building them for 1,000 years, prior to coming here."

"That's very interesting," you said loudly as I walked to my old room, "I didn't know that." Something you always loved was to listen to people talk. Spencer was known for rambling about something when he should've been keeping it case related. He'd start off with giving them what they wanted to know, but then get so excited that he kept going on. It was something you did, too, but only around those you were comfortable around and that was very rare.

As he continued to ramble facts about the paintings, you looked around the familiar room that felt a bit distant. Your dad had turned your old room into an office. All the bright lilac walls had turned to gray, and your bed with a matching white desk were replaced with a black leather couch and a black, very sophisticated desk. Pictures of the two of you mixed with Red Wing merchandise hung on the walls and sat at his desk.

"Uuuuhh, Y/N?" Spencer called, "you might want to see this!

With a confused look on your face, you walked out of the office and back out to the living room where you see him hold a ziplock bag. Inside was a small stash of something similar that you bought that day.

"Where did you find all that weed?" you asked.

"I was looking at the books on this bookcase and as I took one out to explore further, this fell out with it."

You start exploring on your own. It had to be here. It'd make complete sense.

"What are you looking for?"

You ignore him for a moment before finding it. That son of a bitch.

You show Spencer the glass piece you found, the light in the room making its blue accent glow.

"Is that a erlenmeyer flask?" He asked, looking puzzled.

You couldn't help but laugh at his innocence. "You're cute," you said, "but no, it's a bong! My dad's a sneaker bastard. I never knew he smoked-" you stopped in your tracks for a moment, thinking. "...I don't know how I feel about that information."

Spencer chuckles as you go through your mini life crisis. You notice his eyes then move in different directions. It took you a minute to realize what he was looking at. He would look at you, then look at the bong, then at the bag of weed, and continue the cycle. A grin fell upon your face, making Spencer grin a evil, yet goofy smile.

"Let's get comfortable first," you propose, "I'll heat up our pizza's and grab the salads, you grab the rock'n'rye and then we'll get to smokiiin."

Without a second thought, the two of you rushed to get into pajamas. You both had decided that Christmas pajamas was the way to go with how cold it was going to be. Coming out of the bedroom as Spencer came out of the bathroom, you both laugh at the fact that you pretty much had the same theme going. While Spencer was wearing a red long sleeve with the vintage coke'a'cola Santa Clause, you wore a white fitted shirt with the coke's'cola polar bears on it. Your pants were pretty much the same red and black checkered flannels, but while Spencer wore just regular slippers, you had on Rudolph the red nose reindeer fuzzy socks.

After heating up the pizza and pouring the drinks, your grab your food and went for the couch. You sat it on the coffee table in front of you before grabbing the bong, along with the bag and your grinder. As you began to grind the flower, you looked over to Spencer, who seemed to be really loving the pop through the nervousness on his face.

"Are you sure you want to try smoking out of a bong, Spence?" you asked, "Because you don't have to if you're too nervous."

"No no, I do want to! I'm just getting excited that's all."

"You're ok with your mouth being on the same place mine has?"

He was quiet for a moment. "No spit will be on this," you explain, taking the look on his face as a maybe, "but we have our napkins if you want to wipe."

"Ok, good!" He sighed out of relief.

Once the bud was grounded, you took some out with your fingers and packed it in the bowl, rubbing your fingers together to get some of the sticky stuff off. You then put on some music from you groovy playlist on your phone, connecting it to the bluetooth speakers that surrounded the room.

As you put your mouth on the top, lighting the bowl, you move the flame over half of it, letting Spencer have the other half. You felt eyes burning on you as you took the bowl out and inhaled. You held the smoke in your lungs for a few moments before a cloud formed in front of your face.

You handed the bong and lighter to Spencer, showing him what to do. You reminded him to inhale as he held the flame to the bowl. You watch as he did exactly what you did, copying your movements from memory. When he exhaled, the cloud of smoke was a bit bigger than yours was, you were shocked that he didn't have a coughing fit afterward.

He sat it down on the coffee table and sat back on the couch, letting the sensations take over his body. You grabbed the bong again and took another hit, handing it to Spencer afterward. He surprisingly took it from your hands and took another rip. You ended up doing this a few more times until your grinder was empty. You took the last bong rip, setting it back down and slouched on the couch.

By this time, the munchies had kicked in. You both devoured your dinner in a matter of minutes. But the tingles slowly left your body once you finished, so you grabbed the bong and your grinder again. This time, you took the bottom part off, looking at the leftover bits of the bud that turned into almost a powder form. You then grabbed your bag from the dispo that was sitting on the table next to you, and grabbed the flower you had bought. You took the cherry pie bud out of its container and ground it up.

You looked over to Spencer, who was just feeling the music. He looked very much relaxed, staring at the ceiling fan that hung above them.

After taking a huge rip from the bong, you coughed out a bit as you sat it back down. Without even realizing, you sneaked your way under his arm, laying your head on his chest. He put his arms around you, letting you snuggle into him.

With the light of the moon now being your only source of light, and the song Instant Crush playing in the background, you felt safe in his arms. Nothing could've ruined this moment. All you wanted was him and him alone.

"You're like a beautiful dragon, Y/N." You heard Spencer say.

You look up at him with a confused look on your face. "What do you mean by that?"

"When you exhaled. When I exhaled, even. We were like dragons blowing fire. It was so cool."

He was definitely gone, it was pretty obvious. But hearing him babble on and on about being dragons made you smile and giggle. It was contagious, making Spencer giggle with you, and then you couldn't stop. Your stomach and cheeks were hurting at this point.

Once the giggling calmed down, you looked up at him, as he looked down at you. Without a thought in mind, you both leaned and kissed. Your lips hovered over the other for a moment, before leaning back in, your lips melting together as your tongues attacked the other. His right hand in your hair, and his left cupping the side of your face.

After a minute, Spencer broke away and spoke. "I don't care what we are right now," he said, "we can talk about that another time. Right now, I just want you."

You smiled and went back in. He smiled through the kiss, letting tongue go back to where it belonged.

And there you stayed, kissing here and there, taking a few more hits before you both passed out on the couch, your arms still around the other.

#spencer reid smut #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer x reader #spencer reid x reader #matthew gray gubler #mgg #spencer reid fluff #mgg fluff #criminal minds #cm #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fan fiction #criminal minds fic

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anotheronechicagobog · 4 years ago

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Functional Dysfunction - Rheese - Chapter 1

written by @anotheronechicagobog

A/N: This is a new series I’ve been trying to work on and I’m so happy that I’m finally done the first chapter! It’s IMPORTANT to note that this the fic I took a survey for a while back so; Sarah Reese has a double specialty of ED and Neuro. Also, it’s a bit AU so be prepared for that.

Warnings: swearing, vomit, unplanned pregnancy, talk of abortion

The waiting room was a decent size, but she still felt small. Surrounded by medical diagrams and leather couches, and pregnant women, and pregnant women with children. She felt completely out of depth and she was finding it hard to breathe. Her tunnel vision was only broken when the nurse called her name. The older woman smiled at her obvious nerves and Sarah was instantly relieved, not because of the woman’s assuring demeanour, but because she knew that if she had gone to a doctor at MED instead of Planned Parenthood, she would have instead been met with shock, judgement, and awaiting a comment from Doris.

“Dr. Singh will be with you in a few minutes.”

“Thank you.”

So Sarah laid back on the examination table in the flimsy blue paper gown with her unmentionables in the breeze, because of course, Sarah found herself in a situation where she’d need a transvaginal ultrasound instead of a pap smear. She closed her eyes and counted to ten, trying to calm herself down.

“Ms. Reese?”

“Hi.”

“Hello, I’m Dr. Singh. You believe you’re pregnant?”

“Yes, I took two home tests, I’ve been nauseous but only between two and four in the afternoon and one and four in the morning, I missed my period, I’ve been fatigued, and my breasts have been sore. And it’s... Uh, it’s Dr. Reese, actually.”

“Okay, then. Are you in your residency?”

“Halfway through my second year.”

“So you know how this works then.”

“Yes.”

“Did you bring any support? We have counsellors and resources you can use. Your mental and emotional wellbeing is just as important as your physical health.”

“I’m fine. I just want to get the pregnancy confirmed and then book an abortion. I’m in my second year of residency, the father was a one night stand, and my main source of income comes from my mother who would not approve of me having a baby out of wedlock.”

“I completely understand. Med school was hard enough for me without pregnancy and then a baby. We’re still going to have a counsellor talk to you about it beforehand, make sure that you’re making the decision for you and not for anyone else.”

“Alright, I guess.”

“Well, let’s get started, shall we?”

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Sarah was right, she was pregnant. She wasn’t surprised and it didn’t change how she felt. So when she walked into her next shift she didn’t expect a concerned Maggie to approach her. “Hey Sarah, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Maggie, why? Did something happen that I don’t know about?”

“You’re pale, you haven’t been eating much lately, and you’ve been more tired lately. What’s going on Reese, are you sick? You can talk to Goodwin and she’ll give you time off.”

“I’m grateful that you’re worried about me Maggie, but I’m not sick or anything, I promise. It’s just stress.” Sarah tried and failed to tell herself that she wasn’t technically lying, but pushed that thought to the back of her mind and took in Maggie’s disbelieving demeanour.

“If you’re sure...”

“I am.” Maggie gave her a look that clearly said ‘I don’t think you’re telling the truth but your lie is plausible so I’m letting it go for now’ as she exited the doctor’s lounge, leaving Sarah alone. She took a deep breath as she put her stuff in her locker before grabbing a clean pair of scrubs. After she’d changed into them she looked into the full mirror of the dressing room, staring herself down. She willed against herself not to do it and lost. She turned to the side and placed her hands over her abdomen. She knew that the fetus inside of her was tiny, the size of a sesame seed, but... She didn’t know what she was doing, truthfully. So she shook her head and squared her shoulders before tying her hair back and walking up to the nurses’ station. “What have you got for me, Maggie?”

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Andrew Pierson was seventeen and optimistic, something that both she and Rhodes admired. It made their daily rounds and checkups much easier. On most days they both went at the same time so that both departments were able to get first-hand results and to prevent miscommunication. The only problem was that they were always at 3:30 pm, smack dab in the one-hour afternoon window of Sarah’s ‘morning’ sickness. She did her best to quell it in advance; ginger tea, fresh air, mindful of what she’d had for lunch, and she was always drinking water. Sometimes though, like today, morning sickness couldn’t be quelled or repressed. She and Rhodes were discussing Andrew’s latest brain scan and what his injury meant for a valve replacement, when it reared its ugly head like never before. The bile was rising up her throat, fast and hot. She stopped talking in the middle of her sentence, drawing attention from her colleague and her patient. She didn’t register dropping her tablet. She darted into the adjoining bathroom and emptied the little liquid she had in her stomach. Even after it was all out she had to sit there dry-heaving. The burning discomfort in her throat didn’t bother her like it used to, and the painful twisting in her stomach annoyed her more than anything else at this point. When the hellish nausea finally passed she was able to register that she wasn’t alone. Rhodes stood behind her, holding her hair back for her. She turned to look at him and he clearly felt unbelievably awkward, like her, but she did see worry clearly on display behind his eyes. “What’s going on, Reese? You’ve been sick all week.” She hastily got on her feet, only for Rhodes to have to steady her when her balance wavered and mind spun from doing it too fast. After she was okay enough that Rhodes could let go, she warily made her way to the sink to rinse her mouth, only to find that there was some vomit on the edges of her lips and chin, only furthering her embarrassment as Rhodes tried to make eye contact in the mirror.

“It’s nothing-”

“Okay, stop. This is not nothing, you don’t think I’ve noticed how pale and nauseous you get every day? I may have my head wrapped around for too much but I’m not an idiot. Not to mention, you literally just dropped our patient’s brain scans to vomit. You are not fine, actually, you know what? Let’s just go down to the ED, get you checked out-”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Reese, these are continual symptoms, they could be the sign of-”

“I’m pregnant.”

“... Oh.” Sarah bit out harshly, turned the water off, and left the bathroom, leaving Rhodes standing by the toilet, as she blinked back tears. The look in his eyes, the acknowledgement, the pity. She picked up her, thankfully undamaged tablet, as a demure Dr. Rhodes came to stand beside her again. “I’m very sorry Mr. Pierson, I think I ate some bad sushi yesterday. Let’s just finish our appointment and then we can get you started on your new preparation plan so that you’re ready for surgery, okay?”

“Sounds good, and I hope you feel better soon, doc.”

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Dr. Rhodes had spent the remainder of Andrew’s appointment standing beside her clearly shocked and somewhat muted. When they both left though, he steered her into the closest conference room he could find. “Are you okay?”

“Of course I am, now if you’ll excuse me I have other patients that need my care-”

“What about you? Who’s caring for you? You’ve been really sick, and although pregnancy explains it, it doesn��t change the fact that you have concerning symptoms or that Maggie is one bathroom trip away from admitting you into the hospital herself. Because I haven’t heard anything about you in any of the gossip I’m going to assume that you haven’t told many, if any at all, people here. So is there anyone who knows? Anyone who can help you out? And what about the father? I mean you’re pregnant, you’re going to have a baby. Have you spoken to Goodwin yet? She’ll work with everyone to make sure that you’ve got everything you need-”

“Okay, stop! No one knows and I want to keep it that way. I’m not... I’m getting an abortion. And I just...” Sarah took a deep breath as she blinked her tears away. Not now, not at work, not in front of Dr. Rhodes.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay.” He stood there awkwardly, his arms hovering around her form, unsure of whether he should embrace her or not. Sarah shrugged his hand away and took a few controlled breaths. “I won’t tell anyone, but, does anybody know? And I don’t mean from work, I mean in general, do you have someone to talk to about this? Or take you to and from the procedure?”

“No but it’s fine, I’ll just call a cab after.”

“What if something goes wrong during the procedure, who are they going to call? You have to list an emergency contact.”

“I’ll be fine, everything will be fine.” Sarah took a steadying breath as she tried to quell her morning sickness, again, and stop her body from shaking. “Are you trying to reassure me? Or yourself?” Sarah honestly didn’t have an answer for that.

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Sarah cursed herself constantly over the fifteen-minute drive it took to get to Molly’s. Not only did she reveal a pretty damning secret to one of the hospital’s top surgeons, but she hadn’t been able to get out of going to the bar with the rest of the ED staff. And since Molly’s was a firefighter bar, owned by a few members of the 51st firehouse, the father of her child was most likely going to be there. She sat in her car, trying not to let the dread fill her as she stared at the ornate door of what was now her least favourite bar, not that she enjoyed drinking enough to have a favourite. She took the seat next to Maggie and tried to join in on the laughter that was being shared amongst her colleagues. But she couldn’t, she felt hot and cold all over, her breathing was tense, her chest was constricted, and her smile didn’t quite meet her eyes. The fact that Jimmy Borrelli, the father of the unborn child inside of her that he didn’t even know about, was staring at her with familiar lust-filled eyes, and that Connor Rhodes, currently the only person who knew about her pregnancy, just entered and looked at her with a mix of shock, horror, and concern, did absolutely nothing to help with her stress or her pregnancy symptoms. Rhodes made his way over to the table with a guarded look on his face. “Hey guys, how about I get the next round?”

“You’re not new anymore Rhodes, we know you’re not a complete stuck up ass, you don’t have to keep trying to bribe us.”

“Thanks for your words of kindness, Halstead, but this isn’t bribery, this is me offering beer.”

“... Fair enough, man. I think we’re all up for it.”

“Great, hey Reese, would you mind helping me carry it all over?” The meaningful look Rhodes sent made it clear he was using this as an excuse to talk to her away from their co-workers. “Sure.” She tried to sound chipper as she hopped out of her seat, but her voice was tired and it cracked partway through the word. Rhodes visibly frowned and Sarah could feel the concerned stares from her co-workers. They walked to the counter and nodded at Hermann, ready to wait until he was available. “I know that you’re... ‘Cancelling your subscription’,” he spoke lowly, mindful of all the ears around them and how fast gossip flourished among the groups present, “but you still, you know, have it. Should you be drinking?”

“I’m not. I’ve missed too many get-togethers and because of my, uh ‘binge-watching’. People, Maggie in particular are getting suspicious. And honestly, even though I’m ‘cancelling my subscription’, I can’t bring myself to do anything to harm... You know. I, uh, I don’t even drink, really.”

“Yeah, I know. Is there anything else I can get you, then?” Sarah shook her head even though her stomach had turned on her and was eating itself. The bodily organ betrayed her, making an audible growl that could be heard above the music bursting out of the speaker directly above them and the loud mixture of conversations that made nearly everything inaudible. He raised his eyebrow as she scolded herself internally and tried to ignore the warmth creeping up to her cheeks at his bemused expression. “You sure about that? How about some food? I hear that Mills has taken up working the kitchen here, the food should be good.”

“The food is great! And I’m not just saying that because I own that place.” Sarah jumped at Hermann’s voice, not knowing he’d gotten back to them.

“Would you mind showing me a menu then, Hermann? I won’t turn down free food.” Sarah nodded her head at the man standing next to her with a slight smile on her face, feeling better than she had all day if she was being honest. “Oh, is the good doctor buying again?”

“Yes I am, which reminds me, three pitchers of Coors please, and-”

“Spaghetti and meatballs.”

“And spaghetti and meatballs, please.”

“You got it. Here’s your beer, glasses for everyone, and your food’ll be brought over to you when it’s done.”

“Great.”

“And Reese?”

“Yeah?”

“Give us a good review, will ya? We could use all the help we can get to gain some traction for the kitchen.”

“You got it.”

Sarah eyed the tower of glasses she had in her right hand, concentrating far more than necessary if she was being honest, to make sure that she didn’t drop them. When Sarah set the glasses and full pitcher down she took the opportunity to look around the tables at her colleagues. Everyone had gone back to their conversations, and weren’t regarding her with caution, except for Maggie and Manning. They shared a look with each other, then her. “I’m fine, promise.” They shared another look with each other before discreetly taking her hands into theirs. “We don’t believe you.”

#One Chicago #chicago med #Chicago Fire #Sarah Reese #connor rhodes x sarah reese #connor rhodes #maggie lockwood #Natalie Manning #jimmy borrelli #will halstead

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nalgenewhore · 5 years ago

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“E, I’m here,” Lorcan called out from her front hall. “How’re you feeling, love?”

A pathetic groan was her answer, “Having a uterus is ass.” She heard him snort and a couple moments later, he was appearing in the doorway to her bedroom, a sympathetic tilt to his head. She pouted at him and he laughed, entering her room and walking to her side, where she was curled in the fetal position around her hot water bottle. She noticed the shopping bag he had in his hand and nodded feebly towards it, “What’s in there?” Hellas, her dog, lifted his head from where it had been resting on her hip, whining softly.

Lorcan glanced down at the bag and started pulling out stuff he had gotten her, placing them on her desk. “Diva Cup spray, super pads, the Kodex type, and pantie liners, Midol, you ran out,” he mentioned to her as he put the bottle of pills on her nightstand, just within her reach. “That chocolate thingie you forgot at the store yesterday, remember, you cried when you realized you forgot and the store was closed.” There was a smirk on his lips and that hurt more than she thought it could. It wasn’t funny.

Tears pooled in her eyes at the memory, “You don’t have to say it like that.” She sniffled and he looked up, his face stricken. “You don’t have to be a massive dick about it.” Hellas barked slightly, growling at his owner’s distress and the source of it, her stupid boyfriend.

“Oh, I didn’t mean it like that, E, I just-” There was a slight edge of laughter to his voice and it cut deep into her.

“If you’re gonna be like that, you can just leave, I don’t need someone making me feel worse than I already do about things I can’t control.” With that, she turned to her other side, furiously trying to stop her crying. She despised her period, hated how sensitive she was, hated how every movement had her wincing in discomfort. The hot water bottle wasn’t so hot anymore and she groaned, knowing she would have to get up to refill it and she knew that the move to vertical would make her nauseous and dizzy.

The mattress shifted and the duvet was pulled up as Lorcan settled behind her, tugging her slowly enough so that she could push him off if she wanted but Elide let him pull her to his chest, his arms wrapping around her waist snugly but not too tightly. “I’m sorry, E. I shouldn’t have said it like that, I know how much you hate your period and I wish I could make it all go away, mahasani.”

“Och,” she said, her voice thick with tears. “You asshole, stop making me cry.”

Lorcan laughed and the sound vibrated through his chest and into her back, “Do you forgive me?”

“Yes, I forgive you,” she said, the smile on her face swept off when Lorcan pulled her hot water bottle away, “What the literal fuck do you think you-”

He chuckled as his warm hands slipped under her hoodie and pressed into her stomach, exactly where her cramp was. “You’re feisty today.”

“Yesh, well, shedding your uterus will do that to a gal,” she said, no bite in her words as his hands rubbed her stomach, just enough pressure directly below her belly button that her discomfort was soothed away. Elide sighed and relaxed fully against him, her head falling back onto his shoulder. “Mmm, that feels nice.” Her hands found their way into Hellas’ thick fur, stroking softly.

“Yeah?” he asked and she felt his smile in her neck.

“Mm-hmm.” She sighed and her eyes fell shut, “I’m gonna fall asleep if you keep doing that.” Lorcan practically glowed with pride, Elide hardly slept while during her cycle, her pain kept her up even after her meds. “Thank you, baby,” she whispered as she let slumber drag her under.

When she woke up, the snow was still falling outside and her lamp was casting a soft glow about her room. Her arms were wrapped around Hellas, the Husky sleeping soundly. Lorcan was nowhere to be seen and she was covered in a pile of warm blankets. There was something heated on her stomach and she felt around, realizing it was her electric blanket that she thought she had lost.

Elide heard someone moving around in the main room of her apartment and slowly swung her legs out of bed, noting the glass of water and two little pill stamped with ‘Midol’. She smiled and noticed her pain wasn’t as bad, electing to leave them there as she stood and put her glasses on before she slowly shuffled out of her room.

Lorcan was standing in her kitchen, and he turned when she shut her door, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “Hi, there. Feeling better?”

Elide nodded and approached him before wrapping her arms around his waist. “Yeah, I thought I lost my electric blanket.”

“Oh, that? I got a new one ‘cause I know how much you loved your old one.” He said it so casually but Elide squealed in delight.

“You did?”

Lorcan laughed, “Yeah, you were full-on sobbing when you couldn’t find it.”

Elide sighed, the sound wavering as tears pricked her eyes again and her throat tightened. “We don’t need to talk about that right now.” He smiled and wiped her tears away, leaning down to kiss her softly. “Ok?”

“Ok.” He nipped her bottom lip and pulled away, “You hungry?”

“Fucking starving.” She laughed and looked around him to where there was a plate of grilled-cheese sandwiches and a mug of steaming tea. “How did you know that’s what I wanted?”

Lorcan grinned and dropped a kiss on the top of her head, “You know, your cravings are really predictable, E. It’s the same thing every month.”

She pouted and crossed her arms, “I’m not that obvious about it.” Lorcan rose a brow as he passed her her mug of tea, huffing a laugh when she sipped and sighed in bliss. “I don’t care how obvious I am, this tea is worth it.”

Lorcan chuckled as he grabbed her plate of sandwiches and guiding her to the couch, where there was a pile of pillows and blankets for her. “Sit down, babe. I got something for you.”

“Oh?” she questioned, scrunching her nose as she curled into the corner of the couch, her tea held securely in her hands, the steam wafting from it fogging her glasses. “What’d ya get?”

“You’ll see,” he told her as he crouched in front of her TV and joined her shortly after. Lorcan pulled her legs over his lap and rubbed her thigh with his thumbs.

He turned his head and looked down at her, waiting till she looked up at him and smiled, “Thank you for coming over.” She rested her head on his shoulder, batting her eyes at him.

“Even though I’ve made you cry, I think, twice now?”

Elide laughed and nodded, “Even if you’ve made me cry twice now. So,” she put her tea on the coffee table and nestled into his chest, “What’s your surprise?”

He pressed a sweet kiss on her forehead, “Close your eyes, princess.” She was buzzing with excitement as she bit her lip and closed her eyes, her lashes brushing against her specs.

She opened them when she heard the first note of the F.R.I.E.N.D.S theme song and she cried out in happiness, “What. They took it off of Netflix, how did you find it, I can’t believe you found it, I’m-” She cut herself off to clap along and then laugh, falling back against him. “I’m so happy right now, you cannot even imagine.” She held his hands to her chest, squeezing them periodically as the show continued to play.

It had taken him days to find the complete box-set of DVD’s for Elide’s favourite comfort-food show. She had been so sad when Netflix had taken it down and moped around her apartment days afterwards.

She’d told him she hadn’t cried but he knew that she had definitely burst into a puddle of tears when she couldn’t find it and had ranted to him about how Netflix and Apple were evil corporations that didn’t care about their customers and only thought about making the most money after she had found out that to buy the entire show would cost her over one hundred dollars.

It’s ridiculous, Lorcan! It’s criminal, is what it is, how could they do this to their customers? Why would they do this to me, I’m a good person, I’m environmentally conscious, I’m vegetarian, I don’t have a car and walk or take public transit most places, I am a tax paying citizen, I’m never late to pay my bills, I’m a fucking kindergarten teacher, for Anneith’s sake, my dog is a rescue, why would they do this to me?

Now, he wasn’t watching the show at all. Instead, his eyes were on Elide, the woman that he was sure was the one he would marry, the love of his life, the sun to his days, the stars and moon to his nights. His throat tightened as she eventually drifted off, her grilled-cheese left untouched on the coffee table. “Iyótaŋčhila, Elide Lochan.” I love you, Elide Lochan.

“What’d ya say?” Her voice was thick with sleep like warm honey sitting in a glass jar.

Shit. Fuck, fuckfuckfuckfuck, she had been asleep, she had fallen asleep on his chest and he knew it because Lorcan Salvaterre knew what it felt like to have her sleeping next to him. “I, I just…” he trailed off, his heart slamming in his chest. Elide slowly pulled herself up, her eyes wide and her brows raised. Lorcan bowed his head and rested it on her clavicle, “I love you, Elide.”

“You do?” Elide’s voice was thick with tears once more and filled with wonder. “You love me?”

Lorcan raised his head, their noses brushing as he nodded, “Elide Syeira Lochan, I love you.”

She gasped and her eyes lined with silver. Elide brushed her thumb over his high cheekbone, “Kamav tut, I love you too, Lorcan Ohitekah Salvaterre, I love you so gods-damned much.” His eyes were brimming with tears as he smiled and they spilled down his cheeks and so did hers, “Stop making me cry, bengalo.”

Lorcan’s lips pulled into a wide smile as he laughed and it was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard as he kissed her slowly, “I’m sorry, E. Will you forgive me?”

“Hmm, I think I’ll have to think on that, my love, your offences have been rather egregious lately,” she mused, tilting her head up to brush her lips against him. Elide cackled when he stuck his bottom lip out and made his eyes wide and sad.

“Pretty please?” He pouted and somehow made tears pool in his eyes, though she knew that they were fake. “With sugar on top?”

Elide huffed in a joking way and rolled her eyes, “Oh, I guess I can find it in my soul to forgive you.”

“Thank Hellas for that.”

++++++

Translations: I used Lakota (Sioux) for Lorcan’s mother tongue and Romany for Elide’s!

Lakota:

Mahasani: Term of endearment, translates to ‘my other skin’

Iyótaŋčhila: ‘I love you’

Ohitekah: Lakota name that means ‘fierce or war-like’

Romany:

Kamav tut: ‘I love you’

Bengalo: Idiot

Syeira: Romany name, means ‘princess’

@myfeyrelady @kandasboi @schmlip-scribble @the-regal-warrior @highqueenofelfhame @westofmoon @empire-of-wildfire @rhysands-highlady @city-of-fae @shyvioletcat @alifletcher2012 @tangledraysofsunshine @ttakeitbacknoww @tswaney17

#elorcan #elidexlorcan #elide lochan #lorcan salvaterre #isa writes #nalgenewhore

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anotherwellkeptsecret · 5 years ago

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Alrighty. Time to type up my surgery and recovery experience.

When I got my pacemaker two years ago, I spent a year (almost exactly) drawing a comic called Change of Pace, which helped me kinda process what happened to me. You can read the comic here if you’re interested. It’s largely all true, aside from the love story part. Tsk.

I don’t think I’m going to be drawing out this experience. It was completely different. I’ve been expecting a surgery of this nature since I was nineteen, when I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. So, in a way, this stint in the hospital was harder, more personal. The pacemaker was an emergency. The colon resection was some time coming. Not as much trauma, really. Not as much confusion about what was happening and why. But I still feel like telling the story, purging it from my mind.

I was scheduled for surgery on Monday, the 18th of November. I took off work that Friday so I could have my pre-op bloodwork done and I also took off Sunday so I could start the colon prep. If you don’t know what a colon prep is, God bless you. You basically drink a crap ton (lol) of laxative and spend all night pooping until you poop clear. The easiest version is the Miralax version. If you have to have a colonoscopy, ask for the Miralax. I promise, you don’t want the Go-Lightly.

The day before prep, my friend took me climbing in Memphis to keep my mind off of things. We also went to IKEA. It was helpfully distracting. I had Swedish meatballs.

I was meant to “technically” start the prep at midnight Saturday by not eating anything until surgery on Monday. Beginning to drink the Miralax sometime around noon on Sunday. I didn’t get that far.

I got righteously sick Saturday night. My back was killing me and I was very nauseous and dizzy. I knew what was going on even before I started throwing up. I had a bowel obstruction. The second one in my life. I’d had one once before in March and jeeze. It hurt like a son of a bitch. I’m not sure if every bowel obstruction feels the same way, but mine certainly did. If you find yourself having these symptoms, please go to the ER. Bowel obstructions are no joke. You can go septic, which is incredibly dangerous.

Nausea, feeling like you’re going to pass out, vomiting bile, severely upset stomach, cold sweats, and my back was aching something awful. I assume it was because my stomach was cramping so badly, my back muscles were spasming.

I live with my mother. Have done since I’ve been getting sick so regularly. I woke her up and she took me to the hospital.

The first time I had a bowel obstruction, I thought something was wrong with my heart. (The cold sweats, the nausea.) They rushed me to the back immediately. This time, I knew it was an obstruction, not my heart, and I said as much. They don’t tend to be in as much of a hurry when you don’t mention your heart. Didn’t realize that. I’m also not entirely sure they were convinced I did have a bowel obstruction. I’m sure plenty of people walk into an ER saying random stuff for random reasons, but yeah. I was very slowly processed. I remember them taking my blood pressure and because it wasn’t high at all, I imagine they thought I was full of shit. Figuratively, not literally. Because I was, literally. Whatever.

My blood pressure normally runs very low. I can also take a lot of pain, because I’m on a first name basis with pain. They didn’t take my pain seriously because my blood pressure wasn’t high, I guess. Not my fault I’m a badass.

I sat in the waiting room until I started vomiting bile again. I also pooped all over myself in the processes. Which I didn’t think you could do if you were obstructed, but you live and you learn!

That’s when they got in a hurry. I was making a huge mess.

They got me a paper gown and I cleaned myself up as best as I could before the CAT scan, which proved I was, in fact, obstructed.

So there I was, in the ER, very very early on the Sunday morning before my surgery Monday. I was admitted and my doctor contacted. Since the surgery was so close at hand, they agreed it was best to wait until the scheduled time to do the surgery. I’d stopped vomiting so there was no need for an NG tube this time. Those things suck.

Got admitted. Got a room. Tried to sleep. My surgeon came in and we talked. Got everything situated. At one point my mother told me there was a girl down the hall who’d just had a colon resection if I wanted to talk to her. She was sitting int he hallway with her sisters, eating her dinner. Poor thing had been in the hospital for almost a month.

I spoke with her a bit. I’m not entirely sure what happened. Whether it was nerves or if I was hurting, but I almost passed out in the hallway. I hadn’t experienced anything of that nature since I had my pacemaker put in. The whole point of the pacemaker was to prevent me from passing out altogether. But I didn’t pass out so...I suppose that means it’s working?

I also pooped on myself that night while I slept. First time that’d ever happened. It was then I knew that I’d literally gone as long as I could before I needed surgery. I couldn’t wait any more. I’d been so stressed out over in the idea that I maybe didn’t need the surgery. That I was being pitiful and my case wasn’t that bad. I could tough it out if I really wanted. I realized what a dumbass I was for thinking those thoughts, but hindsight is 20/20.

Monday dawned and surgery rolled around. Took forever. I was basically watching the clock tick the minutes by until transport fetched me. I was wheeled down to pre-op where they gave me a hair net. I don’t remember getting a hair net for the pacemaker surgery.

I signed some paperwork and a lady told me she was going to get me ready. She said she was going to give me a nerve block in my stomach. I was like, “Cool, right on.” Until I saw the needle.

Holy fuck. That needle.

“You’re going to give me that when I’m asleep, right?”

“I’m going to give you some ‘I don’t care’ juice.”

“Oh, thank God. I probably won’t remember this then.”

“Probably not.”

In went the ‘I don’t care’ juice. I got really dizzy.

They swabbed my belly with iodine.

They prepped the needle.

I was still very much awake.

I said, “Guys...” Because at this point there were several people standing over me. Like five. “...I’m still cognizant.”

Yeah, I used the word cognizant. That’s how fucking cognizant I was.

Not sure if they heard me. Or if they replied. I was really dizzy.

In went the needle.

And ow. OW.

In went the needle again. One stick on each side of my belly.

The ‘I don’t care’ juice must have been working in some way because while I remember the pain, I don’t remember the panic. I certainly would have panicked if I didn’t have that juice pumping through me. So that was a thing.

I fell asleep soon thereafter. Couldn’t have been like...a minute earlier? Really?

I remember waking up in recovery with the pacemaker. I remember the pressure, the nurse asking me questions. I remember being wheeled back to my room. I don’t remember jack shit about recovery after the colon resection. I don’t remember being wheeled back to my room. I apparently asked for my mom, but I don’t remember doing that either.

I do remember, however, turning over on my side. Because ouch. But I did it anyway and kept doing it because I’m a determined asshole. Monday night was very hazy. I was high as fuck, probably.

Tuesday: Not a good day. I was in a lot of pain. They gave me hydros, but the hydros weren’t touching it. Felt like I was taking Tylenol. And I have a very very VERY low tolerance for pain meds. They wouldn’t give me any morphine because my blood pressure was too low. (Again, badass?? Maybe?? IDK man my blood pressure just runs really low.) Which makes sense, because that’s dangerous, but I was in agony. I begged for morphine. I pleaded with the nurse to give me morphine. She would not.

My mother got angry. I’m not one to complain. And my threshold for pain is admittedly pretty stout. I was hurting and no one was doing anything to help. My mother got ANGRY.

I think they must’ve finally given me some morphine, but I don’t remember. Morphine also didn’t help. Didn’t even make a dent in the pain I was feeling. They kept giving me hydros every couple of hours to no avail. I remember I asked for a heating pad for my back. Barely. The nurse did give me one, but said I could only have it for an hour? Very fuzzy.

The tech forgot to...do something with my catheter because my urine got everywhere. The nurse that found me like that called the floor manager. I hated to, but I did report that my pain wasn’t kept in check. I was hurting so badly I actually reported one of the nurses. The one that wouldn’t give me morphine. I felt horrible about it, but I was also nearly in tears I hurt so bad.

Hell, the pain was so intense at one point my mother called my family. Like, they thought something was wrong. Very very wrong. The doctor called for some kind of scan while I was in bed. They put a board behind my back. I was writhing, I remember. My family gathered in the hospital to see me in case I had to go back to surgery. In case I wasn’t going to do well.

It was scary.

The next set of nurses figured out the problem when the scan revealed nothing out of the ordinary. My back was spasming. Horribly. When I sat up and they felt of me, they were shocked to find my back riddled with knots. It felt like knuckles underneath my skin. The new nurses got me some hella icy hot with pain killer and rubbed me down.

It helped tremendously. My back stopped freaking out, which gave my abdominal muscles time to rest.

At last, I wasn’t hurting. At last, I slept.

Wednesday and Thursday were spent trying to keep my back under control. At one point I vomited all over my bed due to acid reflux. I paged the nurse to ask for some acid reflux medicine and puked all over the place while I was on the call with her lol.

I never once had any issue with my incision. My entire trouble, the whole time, was from my back. And nausea. And lemme tell ya. Vomiting with a six inch incision on your abdomen? OW.

Getting up and walking? Easy enough. Getting up and going to the bathroom? No problem. Spongebath? Piece of cake. But God my back.

I managed to poop for the doctors. Fantastic.

And finally, finally, I got to have food.

I went from about 5:00PM Saturday to 12:00PM Friday without having anything to eat or drink. I had an IV, and I could eat ice chips if I desperately needed to wet my mouth, but yeah. I hardly had any ice chips. Weird to imagine you can go that long without food and be alright.

I proved I could eat GI soft food on Saturday and they let me go home.

Got my staples removed the following Tuesday. Had some steri strips applied. Just waiting for them to fall off on their own.

And here I am. Just lounging, waiting to get my strength back. It’s much easier to draw after this surgery than the pacemaker one. Thank God. I’m slow moving and my stomach hurts a bit when my contents shift, but other than that I’m doing swimmingly. I can’t lift anything over ten pounds until the new year. Not sure when I’ll be able to drive, either. I’ll find out soon.

This surgery was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Mentally and physically. Mentally because I’ve been struggling with Crohn’s since I was a teenager. I’m 32 now. Half my life I’ve been at war with my own body, drowning in the pain it leashes on itself. It’s been a long road. I hope this spells the end of it. Or at least, the rest of the journey is all downhill.

I’ve lost a lot of weight. I’m trying not to think about it too much. I’ll gain it back. Just takes time.

#personal #medical #tw pain #tw medical #recovery #crohn's disease #colon resection

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thelittleinjenthatcould · 4 years ago

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Hi loves! My latest post is up #ontheblog Jen Finds Gems

New Post has been published on https://www.jenfindsgems.com/more-than-migraines/

Opening Up About my Health: More than Migraines

On October 11th the symptoms started. I went for a bike ride on a beautiful Sunday morning (feeling a little nauseous, but ready to power through it). It was pretty hot and I biked farther than usual so when I returned feeling more nauseous than before and a little “out of it”, I figured I was just dehydrated. I remember speaking to my sister and brother in law on the phone about an hour later and suddenly starting to feel a migraine come on. I figured if I just take it easy and drink some water with my usual migraine meds, it would pass quickly.

It didn’t.

On October 13th I visited my primary Doctor for my symptoms. My migraine was still present but I was feeling dizzy and nauseous. I knew something was wrong. I made the mistake of mentioning that I thought I had vertigo, and after doing a few manual tests (follow my finger, touch your nose, walk in a straight line, etc.) the Doctor said that’s what it sounds like so let’s treat it as vertigto. He preseribed me a anti-dizziness medication called Meclizine and told me that in order to recover and help with the dizziness, I should see a physical therapist.

What? A physical therapist? This won’t pass on it’s own? I have to see a physical therapist to help me walk “normal” again? How did this happen? How long am I going to feel this way? I had so many questions! I visited a physical therapist twice before I realized that there was a bigger problem that lied ahead. The therapist listened to my symptoms and concerns and ran a few tests on his own (the epley maneuver) and realized that this didn’t sound like vertigo at all. “I think we are dealing with something bigger here Jen,” he told me.

I kept that with me. Something bigger. Okay… but what? No one could give me answers.

I was a mess and everyday functions seemed difficult or damn near impossible. I couldn’t move too quickly. I couldn’t look around a room without getting pains. It had gotten to the point where just turning my head from one side to the other felt like the room was violently spinning and I was beginning to have double and blurred vision in my right eye. I couldn’t lay flat, sleep on my right side, or sleep in total darkness because that made the dizziness worse. I felt like I was free falling in the dark and of course that made me super nauseous.

Saturday morning I woke up ready to vomit and I almost fell to my feet. Walking was too difficult because I swayed from one side to the other and I had to run and grab a wall to hold. I fell to my knees and crawled to the bathroom, vomiting for hours. When my husband returned home (he went to drop the kids off at family’s house so he could take care of me) I was hugging the toilet, sweating and holding my head with my eyes closed. I didn’t know if I was having a stroke, a seizure, suffering from brain tumor, or an aneurysm. I was terrified.

That day Nick took me to the Emergency room. They drugged me up and ran countless tests from MRI’s, MRA’s, CT scans and heart evaluations. I was picked and prodded by nurses and Doctors and the on site Neurologist told me that my exams came back fine. He said there wasn’t any area of concern that he could find but he wanted me to follow up with ENT for a possible inner ear issue and then follow up with him for brain evaluations as this could have been linked to my migraines. He also prescribed a medication by the name of Topiramate which is an anti-seizure medication that is used to treat migraines.

After coming home from the hospital, covered in EKG tabs.

I have been suffering from migraines for over 20 years and they never presented themselves in this way. What was happening inside my body? Why now and why wasn’t anything showing up on the tests? I was confused and I was scared.

I was released from the hospital the next day, more confused and afraid than ever. I had no idea what was happening and what I was supposed to do from here. So this is it, I thought. This is how I’m going to feel forever.

As the days and weeks went on, I continued to do research, pray and research more. I made an appointment with an ENT Specialist that left me in tears because he said whether this is an inner ear issue or a migraine issue, it could take years to recover. Years? What the hell! I can barely walk without holding on to my husband or a wall, I can’t be in a bright room and too much noise or movement is over stimulation for me. Years?

That night I found two blogs that gave me relief- The Dizzy Cook and Jennifer of Migraine Strong. I read their stories and instantly felt closer to answers. They spoke about their experiences with vestibular migraines, dizziness and other symptoms, their road to recovery and their treatment plans. Every night I went back to their words. I studied their plans and their courses of action. I took notes of what they did and how it helped them. I looked up the books they recommended and the supplements they took and then… I found that Jen went to Dr. Danner in Tampa that specializes in migraines and neurology! He’s here in Tampa?! I HAVE TO SEE HIM!!

My first appointment with Dr. Danner was on November 4th. He listened to my concerns and helped me understand that what I was experiencing could have been an inner ear issue or be a migraine issue however regardless of which one it was, it would be treated in the same way. He encouraged me to follow a migraine elimination diet to help me find what my triggers are, start taking at least 500 mgs of a magnesium supplement everyday, keep taking my prevention medication, and follow up with him in a month.

I followed the elimination diet to a “T”. I fell in love with a book called “Heal Your Headache,” and I went down rabbit hole after rabbit hole of vestibular migraine research.

A few weeks went by my dizziness subsided but I started to notice that the migraine prevention medication that I was on was giving me adverse effects. I had crazy brain fog, to the point where I found it hard to hold conversations or keep a thought for longer than a few seconds. It made me crazy exhausted, depressed, and I lost about 20 lbs. It made my body feel cold (literally) and I felt frail and weak. The day before Thanksgiving I called Dr. Danner and asked if I should keep taking this medication or stop based on these symptoms and a numbness I started to feel in my right leg. After careful consideration, he recommended that I stop but continue the other migraine treatment plan and follow up with him at my next appointment (which was about a week and a half later).

When I had my follow up appointment, he asked me how I felt. By that time, the numbness in my right limbs had started to feel like a heaviness and my leg would sporadically “lock up”. My leg and arm would move (or not move) on their own and it started to worry me. Dr. Danner had his office staff call in an appointment for me with Dr. Sunil Reddy, an awesome Neurologist in Tampa that could take a deeper look to see if there were possibly any other neurological issues going on.

I have been going to my Neurologist and weekly physical therapy appointments since.

Today I experience less migraines and the spasms in my arms and legs are few and far between. These spasms are believed to be linked to Transverse Myelisits which is inflammation of the spinal cord. This was determined from a neck MRI that I had that showed some scarring on my spine. Sometimes Transverse Myelitis can progress to MS however sometimes it is a one time event that can heal on it’s own. After several brain MRI’s, my Neurologist does not see any lesions or scarring on my brain and does not see an area of concern there. My next order is to get an MRI of my spine and we will monitor and make an action plan based on the findings there.

I still have no idea what triggered all of this to occur and if they are linked in any way. Did my migraines progress into something more which caused these other symptoms and issues? Was something lying dormant and now decided to progress as I got older? How does your spinal cord even get inflammed? Is it something I did??

I’m still learning and I think that my greatest lesson is that I won’t always have the answers. But I know I’m not giving up, and all of this taught me that I’m more of a warrior than I realize!

I am writing this because I hope to help someone that may be going through something similar, just as Jen and “The Dizzy Cook” helped me. When all of this started to happen, all I could do was think of how much I wanted to write about my experiences for this reason. I wish that I could have given you a full synopsis of what I was experiencing in live time, but things progressed so quickly that I seldom had time to process them fully, or the energy or brain power to do so.

I’m sure I left out a lot of details. Like me crying every night wondering why this was happening. My husband having to physically hold me up to walk and take a shower because I was too dizzy to stand. The lack of confidence I had making eye contact with people, in fear that they would see my eyes darting from side to side or trying to focus. Wondering if people were whispering or thinking I was drunk when I stumbled to walk at my daughter’s Gymnastics class or my son’s Taekwondo class. Seeing more Doctor’s, nurses, emergency rooms and Specialists in the last 4 months that I have in the past 5 years. The time, money and MEDICAL BILLS I have racked up since this all started.

This journey has been humbling and frustrating, but I’m happy that I am stronger now than when I started.

I hope that this has helped you in some way and I look forward to sharing more of my journey with you here. If you haven’t already, please check out my blog post on my recommendations for dealing with migraines and follow me on IG for more health and wellness tips.

Stay encouraged and stay positive friends.

With love,

Jennifer.

#migraines

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jenniez-tv · 5 years ago

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HIPEC surgery (warning - photos of my abdomen after surgery will be shown)

The night before surgery I was on clear liquids only.. that was hard when all my family members kept talking about food and dessert.. the stomach growl was real. Haha. I spent the night playing mahjong with my family up until I had to pack and get ready to leave the house. An all nighter. Weeee. I really didn’t care to sleep since I don’t usually sleep til the morning anyways and I would be sleeping a lot in the hospital so it was whatever.

My aunt, mom, and I leave to go to the hospital around 4am (super early). We arrive, I’m sent to preop to get ready and I am super nervous.. I realized I forgot to take my anti anxiety Med before leaving the house.. UGH. I ask the nurse if she can ask the doc to give me one while I’m waiting and she said the Anesthesologist can give me something when they are ready to wheel me to the OR. Like wtf? How is that helpful? Why would I need anxiety meds right before I go to sleep for the freaking surgery?!? I need it for the 2hrs of waiting!!! She didn’t even bother to ask! Ughhhh.. like why? She is supposed to be an advocate for me.. Was not happy with her.. then she told me to relax.. HAHA. Glad I won’t see her again. Rude.

Me waiting at preop

Anywho.. next thing I know I’m awake in PACU. I’m groggy and in pain.. and of course felt myself up all over my abdomen to make sure I didn’t get a ileostomy bag. Thank god I did not! I did have a jp drain though. The Dr said he removed the organs he planned on-the uterus, ovaries, omentum, gallbladder along with 3 small things he found in my abdomen. I have no idea where and how big they were. They don’t think they are tumors but the pathology results have not come back yet.. feels like forever waiting for results.. either way, im glad it was found and removed. (Update- the results came back benign! Negative for cancer!)

I’m moved to the ICU and get hooked up to so much equipment. I stayed in the ICU for 2.5days. I had 2 iv’s, an arterial line, Foley catheter, NG tube, JP drain and a wound vac. My throat hurt so damn bad.. every time I swallowed it hurt.. that NG tube fked up my throat. I was also a not allowed eat or drink anything for 2 days until they took it out. I could not wait! Post op day 1 was a killer for me. Just trying to sit up made me cry. They wanted me to walk down the hall while pushing the wheelchair. I literally looked like a old person who has the hump back and couldnt stand straight while walking. The poor nurses were pretty much holding my weight lol. Even helping me scoot up on the bed hurt. My family said my entire body and face was super swollen . I just pictured the scene in Willy wonka and the chocolate factory where that girl turned into a huge blueberry. 🤭 I think the most annoying part of ICU was when they kept giving me blood pressure medication and IV fluids to increase my blood pressure. I normally have low BP like 80-90/50-60 told everyone. Apparently the Med surg unit (Unit I would be at until I get discharged) doesn’t like BP’S under 90. I mean seriously, I can’t be the only one with normal low BP’s.. With all the fluids during and after surgery.. I was 15lbs heavier. Ahh! I know it’s all water weight but damn that’s a lot of water weight. They also gave me potassium and it was so uncomfortable on my veins. Anyone can tell you it hurts..even when it’s diluted. It fked up my veins where on The last night in the ICU I had to get one of my IV’s replaced because anything that went through it (even saline) hurt . It was hurting even if nothing was running.

Anyways, I get cleared and transfer up to the medsurg unit. I was actually feeling pretty good considering just having surgery. I get my NG tube removed and am allowed teeny bits of water/ice. FINALLY. My throat can now get better! By the time I transferred I was making laps around the unit. I also get my wound vac removed. It was so painful because I developed a lot of blisters on the edges of the tape from the wound vac. It looked pretty gross. (Picture below). When they removed it, all the blisters broke and they even rubbed over it pulling the skin off. Then, one of my ivs stopped working so it had to be taken out. Luckily this unit only requires one IV not two like the ICU so I didn’t need it replaced.

Picture of the blisters

Picture of my incision with the wound vac and the jp drain.

Picture of my incision and blisters after wound vac removed

The next morning is where everything went downhill. I got super nauseous and eventually threw up 900cc of bile. My temp was around 101 degrees, and eventually got up to 103. I also had other signs/symptoms that showed that I got septic to something. I had to be transferred back to the ICU. Because they were not 100% sure where the infection came from (they had 2 guesses) I got 2 antibiotics that would treat both areas. My white blood cell count also dropped dramatically to 0.98 and my anc 0.74. This means that I was very susceptible to getting more infections. People had to wear a mask when they come to my room and I had to wear one when I left the room. The good news is my fever went away pretty quickly and I started feeling better. My wbc kept going up and down... I’m hoping it keeps trending up because I cannot leave the hospital until my wbc goes up and becomes stable. EEP.

While I was back in the ICU I had to get a second iv placed.. so now I have had 4 iv’s so far not including the arterial line). I’m connected to all the machines again and it takes forever for me to get to the bathroom since they have to disconnect all the monitors and attach it to a portable one so they made me use a bedside commode instead. Bedside commode?!?! The thought is just gross. I’m peeing and pooping in a room with just a curtain blocking the view. What if someone walked in to talk to me in the middle of my session? It was so nerve wrecking. I’ve cleaned up patients bedside commodes before and it’s fine but now can say that I really understand why patients apologized all the time.

After another 2 days in the icu and being septic.. And another iv needing to be replaced bc it infiltrated.. (apparently my veins are mad weak from all the meds and chemo) (now iv #5) I am finally better to go back to the Med surg unit. I’m transferred back and it feels so nice to use abnormal bathroom again. I’m still only allowed clear fluid and honestly.. even that was hard to do. I had to drink a minimum of 800cc a day and it was a struggle. So many days of not eating and drinking screwed me up. Plus I kept having this underlying nausea that just wouldn’t go away. It turned out I had a small ileus as well- A complication that can happen from abdominal surgery.

Everyday I got blood drawn twice a day.. and lovenox which is a blood thinner to prevent blood clots. Prior to lovenox, they were giving me heparin (which is 3 times a day..). My body was full of bruises all over.

Picture of some of the bruises on my arms. I had a bunch on my thighs too..

Anywho, I’m finally allowed to eat.. and man that was more of a struggle than drinking.. I would take one or two bites and be done.. it didn’t help that the hospital food was completely disgusting.. even simple foods you think they can’t mess up on.. was just gross. I was asked by family what I felt like eating so they can bring it.. but honestly I had no appetite at all. Completely different from when I was on steroids and eating nonstop.. lol. But I tried.. hard.. to eat and drink enough. They wanted to start me on tpn which is the total nutrition through a central line.. and I was not about to have it. I gave a hard hell no.

I could barely sleep.. it just felt like my stomach was being pulled or stretched apart when I moved.. was woken up non stop for meds/ vitals.. when I was able to doze off.. my days pretty much consisted of eating, taking a couple laps around the unit, napping, and repeat. I was still getting some iv fluids to help keep me hydrated.. and of course.. another iv infiltrates.. and another iv had to get started... I had a total of 6iv’s and an arterial line.. it was utterly ridiculous.. I had no more places for ivs! And I freaking hate ivs and getting poked.. but that’s all I got during this stay.. so many I lost count.. sigh..

On and off during my stay but especially the last couple of days, I had severe lower right abdomenal pain that was sharp and jabby. I prevented me from moving at all.. it was downright horrible and worse than my incision.. no one knew what it was from but I guessed maybe the drain that was inside.. I got a ct scan done and it didn’t show anything there but the drain so I got it removed.. the pain immediately disappeared!! It was such a relief!! No pain meds helped at all.. not even the slightest.. so having that relief felt so good. The drain coming out though.. felt like so much pressure and it felt like the spot that hurt was getting pulled on. I swear that drain was stuck there or something.. it was a good amount in my stomach.. I didn’t realize how much of the drain just sat in there.. kinda gross. And yes, I watched the whole thing... hahah.

Another complication I have is that my left upper thigh is numb.. and has been numb.. it never got and still hasn’t gotten any better.. I thought it was the duramorph I got during surgery but after a week it seemed unlikely.. the dr says that it’s most likely because the retractor they used to hold my abdomen opened was pressed on my thigh nerve since I’m smaller than the average patient and dmged it from it being compressed for 8hrs.. he says it will take weeks to months for my leg to return to normal.. hopefully.. but that there is a chance it won’t.. god I hope it comes back. It feels so weird and annoying to have the top of my thigh permanently numb ...

Finally my wbc is stable and continuing to trend upward (although still low) and I’m allowed to go home.. I could not wait to see my babies (my dogs), my family, and just sleep in my own bed!!

Sorry, I know this post was all over the place... i wrote parts of it at different times.. which is why some seems present and some past tense.. and I’m honestly not in the mood to go and fix it all. I will post again how my recovery is going at home soon.

Thank you all for your love and support. ❤️

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blackdragon-sama · 6 years ago

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my breast reduction experience

i'm back home from the hospital after my reduction and i'd like to share my experience for those interestedalso to vent a bit about my nice-but-also-hella-annoying bed neighbour.

i went in on thursday morning, to get prepped, see the doc and settle into my room i was given the choice to either stay overnight before the surgery, or come in at 7 on friday morningi chose to stay overnight, since i knew it'd be much easier if i could just stay in bed until they wheeled me in for surgery. rather than having to haul my stuff and myself to the hospital with the bus, high on adrenaline and panicwas the right decision, too early in the morning, a nurse woke me and i went to change into the very sexy piece of fishnet they use as panties and the butt-free gown thingi swear, those mesh panties are the worst.but, i got a dose of lorazepam to make up for it, and was wheeled downstairs and into the wake-up room, from which i was wheeled in for the anaesthesia prep.a very nice lady (i don't know if she was an anaesthesiologist or assistant or nurse....) helped me put on the hair net and put an IV into my hand, chatting a little with me, which helped with the anxiety. at this point i was glad for the lorazepam, because i was nervous as fuck, even with it. they didn't make me count or anything, just told me to breathe in all that nice oxygen, and then they told me when they inected the good stuff and - like with the two general anaesthesias i had before - i went under complaining about the pain XDit's like, the last two seconds before you go under, your face, or in one case, arms, get really bad pins-and-needles, and it's one of the grossest feelings ever, but it's literally just a second or two and then you're out. the first thing i remember after coming to, is people coming to my bed and telling me to take breaths, or to breathe in deeper.i had a little trouble with my oxygen levels for a while, but they put an oxygen tube thingie into my nose, with a piece of sponge around it to keep it in place, i also remember telling someone i was feeling nauseous, and i think they gave me some medication for that. i was in no pain at all, just super woozy and confused why it was already around 3 in the afternoon. surgery must've taken WAY longer than 2-4 hours, since they put me under at 7:30, and i came to enough to ask the time at 3 in the afternoon.back in my room i asked for my phone and sent a few typo-heavy drunk texts to my mom and my girlfriend to let them know i was still alivestill no pain, dizziness, overall "just trying to sleep"-iness. a nurse came in some time later, to help me get up and pee. i didn't think i needed to, but she told me they put five liters of whatever (saline, probably) into me during the surgery and after, and i do know that getting up is important after surgeryso, she hooks me under and butt-naked me (surgical bra and mesh panties only. sexy. comfortable. not basically literally ass-naked) shuffles over to the bathroom, nurse carrying the big drainage bottles.i could feel my ears rushing and hearing static the moment i stood, but i managed to sit down and do the deed. on the way back to the bed, i nearly passed out, but nurse and another nurse got me back safely and i could sleep some moreduring the night, i am woken up a few times, by a male nurse who comes to open my bra and check the bandages and palpate my new tiny tiddies for anything bad.it's a bit disorienting to be subjected to someone messing with your boobs when you're more asleep than anything, but the whole staff was super nice and gentle with me, on saturday, post-op day 1, i managed to somehow pull at my right-side drainage and the bitch gave me trouble for the entirety of its stay in my boob, and it's still the more sensitive side >_>my new boobs looked soooo teeny tiny! to be honest, while i was excited, i was also a little scared that they'd become too small, but that feeling came and went, and looking back, i know it was simply the shock of the /difference/. day one was mostly spent entirely in bed, since my circulation was still pretty bad, and getting up gave me big troublesluckily, the nurses all were very very nice and refilled my water bottle for me and helped me get to the bathroom and back, and iirc, in the afternoon, i managed to put on some real panties and a shirt. MUCH better!also, on saturday, my girlfriend came to visit and it was really nice <3as for pain, i wasn't in any mentionable pain, other than that bitch of a drainage tube. that shit hurt like hell, while my boobs themselves almost didn't hurt at alli was, and still am, quite surprised they weren't painful. (given, i was taking ibuprofen 600 3x a day) sore, of course, and tender, and feeling about ready to pop with how taut they were, but not painful, i didn't and don't feel the incisions or the sutures/stitchesi stopped taking any pain meds yesterday, which was post-op day 5, and i only needed one ibu on tuesday) sleeping on my back is lame. and waking up on sunday, i had a major headache, that even the ibuprofen didn't manage to helpi think it was a mix of my neck being overly tense, plus leftover surgery and anesthesia meds that messed with my head (i read that having migraines puts you at a higher risk of post-op headaches) sunday was the day where i started to get lots better. i could get up on my own for the bathroom, and even the little trip down the hall to the water fountain dispenser thingie, and in the afternoon/early evening, i even managed to take the elevator to the ground floor and grab some well-earned sweets from the little shop there. the headache was the biggest discomfort, other than the drainage tube pulling occasionally, and my petty room mate... boy... by that point she was getting SO annoying. she had had surgery the day before me, a procedure to put an expander under the skin of her face, to grow skin to remove a mark from her face (i don't know what it's called, in german, it's a fire's mark, basically a large, deep red/purple mark that's puffy and you're usually born with it)i think she's russian? she had a heavy accent, and the first pieces of conversations i remember clearly were of her complaining about refugees and how they have so many kids only to cash in on social child support money (which is a thing in germany, but, well, for citizens, not for refugees...) i tried half-heartedly explaining that refugees aren't here for shits and giggles, and no, they don't get child support money from the state. they get, if at all, a bare minimum to feed and clothe themselves.... i didn't want to antagonize her, because in my drugged-up, post-surgery state, i was having paranoia she would try suffocating me in my sleep. (which i was aware of was purely my anxiety talking, but, y'know, i didn't want to pick fights either way, and delicate topics are best discussed if you have the opportunity to leave.)next thing i very clearly remember her doing was antagonizing the nurse that wanted to put a new something into her iv. the thing was, the nurse sneezed. into her shoulder. before moving to continue with the tubes. roomie gives her shit about that. how it's unacceptable that she'd sneeze onto the needle and get her germs all over the place, and how that's unprofessional and why she wasn't getting new needles and all that the nurse calmly explained she wasn't sick, it was just a little sneeze and she didn't get anything onto the stuff. discussions ensue. nurse sents me an "is this really happening?!" look, and i just give a helpless grin-shrug, because, yeah, it was happening. nurse was clearly heavily annoyed, but managed to finish putting the iv thing into her before leaving a little louder than necessary.i can understand voicing your concerns about hygiene and your worries. that's good. not good is picking fights with the people taking care of you. like... i caught myself thinking, every single time lady next to me went to complain or whine about something (which she did... /quite/ a lot) that, if i am in a hospital, dependent on the care of the staff, that the LAST thing i want to do is being a bitch to them?i'll do my damndest to be polite at least, friendly whenever i can, so they know i appreciate the help. being nice to your nurse means your nurse will do their best to care for you, and maybe put in a little more effort than absolutely necessary (like offering to fill my water bottle for me) and if someone has to sit me onto the toilet becauce i can't pee by myself, the least they deserve is me not bitching. seriously, the lady was nice enough, overall, but man... she also was entitled and just that special little snowflake kind of person. complaining about her boyfriend not taking the day off work so he'd be available all day to pick her up whenever she was discharged... i understand the thought behind it, but i also understand you can't just leave work just like that. and she was better off than me, mobility-wise, she could've taken a taxi or even public transport (given, i wouldn't have, either) or just waited for him until he could leave work)aaaaaanyway, on monday, headache was getting better, and my surgeon came in to check up on his work, he finally told me how much he removed, and it was WAY more than i expected or he estimated before,he'd told me, he'd remove about a kilo of tissue per side, which seemed a good weight, (i'd weighted them before, and they were about 2 kilos each, according to my kitchen scale XD )and it ended up being 1,4 kilos per side... that's almost 3 kilos! that's, like, two whole chickens! i was pretty shocked, but also excited, because, for the first time i really understood how HUGE my boobs had been. and how reasonable and right my decision was. i have no regrets and even in between never had any, but i had my doubts about the necessity of this whole thing, a lot of the time, i felt like it was a mood, or a phase, something i wanted out of a whim, rather than that i really needed it. it was my idea, and i wanted it, and as such, as a non-essential surgery, i was scared that i was doing something wrong. that it'd end up turning out bad, simply because of my paranoia-driven fear of karmic punishment for wanting something like that without it being unavoidable (like my gallbladder surgery) but hearing how much he'd removed, and given how much is still left, and how i now have an average pair of breasts for a woman of my stature, it took some guilt off me. also, by monday, i was starting to feel the first effects of the weightloss. i could sit up without using my arms (which was still being a bitch, because it'd pull on the damn drainage), like doing a situp, and it was sooo easy!even right now, i'm still too overall sore/tender to really notice a direct difference, but indirectly, it's already so amazing! i'm sitting up straighter without even noticing, i can breathe freely, which is odd, but i keep noticing how free my chest feels, like i'm expecting it to feel tight or heavy, but it isn't,on monday, the drainage tubes were FINALLY removed and it was glorious!i could stay until tuesday, and it was good i got to stay another day, because walking around was, and is, still somewhat tedious.on wednesday, i had a bit of an emotional crash. i guess it's the physical shock of surgery/injury and the medication wearing off, coupled with the relief of being at home and knowing you can relax now, i was dissociating a little, on and off through the day, feeling weepy and alone and all thatbuuuut that went away, too, and today, post-op day 6, i'm still a little tender and weak, but overall, i'm doing pretty fine!i can wash myself on my own, even my hair, and i am in SO much less pain than i expected. like... i was preparing to be out of commission completely for the entirety of the three weeks vacation i took off of work, but if things continue like this, going back in two and a half weeks will be absolutely possible. i catch myself being a little too enthusiastic sometimes, like trying to reach up to open/close my skylight window and getting a little reminder NOT to stretch up my arms all the way. or having to take a break from walking up the stairs and having to sit a couple minutes in the house's staircase on the way up to my appartment (we don't have an elevator)the most uncomfortable thing right now is the itching. the medical bra rubs against the edge of the steri-strips, where my skin is taut and dry and it's leaving mild imprints and it ITCHES and it's driving me insane, but it doesn't hurt, and it doesn't seem to mess with the stitches, so i'm trying not to complain too hard. all things considered, and with how weak and sore i was, right now, as i'm typing this, i'd do it all over again. i don't want to jinx anything, so i won't jubilate, but overall, i'm pleasantly surprised by how well things have been so far. i like my tiny new boobs, and i hate the itching, i love how much longer my torso looks, and i'm looking forward so much to buying beautiful bras and all the pretty swimwear i couldn't before, because it would never fit my boobs....aah <3next week i'll go in to have my stitches removed (they're not the dissolving kind) and i'm a little worried how the scars will hold, but i'm also eager to start using lotions and all the good stuff to help the skin recover i will recommend this procedure to anyone that's considering it, and i'm so happy that the surgery went well and my new boobs look perfect! (if still a little crinkly around the scars XD )

#breast reduction #experience #just me any my last week

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rue-by-another-name · 7 years ago

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“Love Me Do” - h.s. a.u. Part 4

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

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The first time you cried over your hand injury wasn’t because you were in pain, it was because you couldn’t peel an orange. Harry watched almost disbelievingly as you started to break down in front of him across the kitchen island as the orange rolled away from you and into the sink.

Bea hunkered down for another fit, and Millie stayed a safe distance away in the living room from behind a glass of wine. They’d left it up to Harry to take care of you, considering it was around four in the morning and you were literally the worst patient. You were irritable and cranky and such a child that Harry could not believe that you were actually like you.

You were a menace, honestly, and he kind of wanted to throw you out a window at this point. But he was the reason you were like this when he truly thought about it, and Bea and Millie had promised to stay up to keep you company so at least they were helpful in that way.

“I can’t …” you sniffled and Harry literally almost lost his shit.

“Are you kidding me?” he grumbled, “You’ve been complaining for hours and now you finally start to cry over an orange?”

“I’m hungry!” you cried, sniffling again and turning away from him while cradling your hand to your chest. Behind you, Harry picked up the orange and started peeling it slowly, grumbling to himself under his breath as he checked the timer on his phone. The first washing of your stitches would be in fifteen minutes and he was honestly dreading it.

“Here,” he sighed and sat down next to you on the kitchen island stools. “You eat this and keep yourself occupied while I wash your stitches, okay? Here, just -” You felt his large hands on your ribs as he hauled you up and sat you on the kitchen counter. You stopped sniffling long enough to appreciate how close you and Harry were as he started unwrapping the bandage. Chewing aimlessly on your orange slices, Harry looked up at you, “You should probably look away if you don’t want to see it,” he suggested.

You thought for a moment, felt the weight of your hand in his as he was delicately unwrapping the wound before you sucked in a breath. “No I should probably get used to it,” you nodded. Harry sighed, mumbled something about it being your funeral under his breath, before he let the bandage fall from your hand.

The cut was jagged and across your palm, twenty black stitches keeping your skin together where it bubbled in the middle in an angry red line. Instantly you were nauseous.

“Are you going to throw up?” Harry asked, ducking under to get a look at your face as you shut your eyes tightly and shook your head.

“No no I’m fine. I’m fine,” you nodded, even though you felt the vomit rising in your throat. “I’m totally fine.”

“You look awful.”

“Fuck you,” you responded.

“Are you cleaning it?” Bea asked, snooping around and trying to get a look at your hand. Millie came over too as the two of them look around Harry’s broad shoulders as Harry wet the cloth to start cleaning the wound.

“Girl it looks so gross,” Millie wrinkled her nose.

“The scar is going to be wicked,” Bea mumbled.

“You two really aren’t helping,” Harry turned and glared at them both, “Like seriously not helping.”

“This is your fault,” Bea whispered before walking way and taking the rest of the wine bottle she and Millie had been drinking out of.

“Not my fault,” Harry grumbled, even though you both knew it kind of was.

“In my defense though,” you said, wincing as Harry started cleaning the cut, “This was the first time you broke a glass and not me.”

You smiled triumphantly as you got a pretty good smile out of Harry. He shook his head and let out a long breath, “I guess you’re right,” he nodded, “Who would have thought.”

“Definitely not me,” you sighed, “I’m going to have this ugly scar for the rest of my life and – oh no!” you cried suddenly. Harry jumped and pressed the cloth tightly to your hand, holding it to his chest in fright.

“What? Did that hurt?” he asked, holding your hand a bit tighter.

“Oh my gosh that was adorable,” you whispered in awe as Harry realized you weren’t in pain and gave you an annoyed look. “No it’s okay,” you nodded, “Just that I realized I’m going to have this scar forever which means that I’m going to have to remember you forever because it was all your fault,” you whined.

Harry was silent for a moment before he pressed down a bit harsh on your cut with the cloth. Immediately you hissed, biting down on your lip.

“Oh I’m sorry,” Harry said sarcastically, “It’s so early in the morning and I’m exhausted. Did that hurt?”

“You suck,” you grumbled.

“You wish,” Harry mumbled back.

“Did you just make a sexual joke?” you asked, “Uncalled for.”

“Y/N I am exhausted,” Harry sighed, “Like, genuinely unsure how I am awake right now. I may start making sexual jokes and that’s not something I am in control of.”

You looked at the digital clock above the stove and sighed. “I can finish this if you’d like to leave?”

“My flat is like 40 minutes away. I’m staying here tonight,” Harry declared, tossing the slightly bloody rag in the trash before taking out the new bandage to wrap your hand in.

“Okay,” you sighed, “Well –”

“Why don’t you go take a shower,” Harry interrupted you and patted your shoulder. “Just – here, let’s wrap the hand in a plastic bag.”

“How do you know all this?” Millie asked, looking up from her phone. Bea had already lost consciousness, succumbing to sleep considering how early in the morning it was.

“I have three younger sisters and a younger brother,” Harry sighed as he duct taped the grocer’s bag to your hand. “And they are all train wrecks. The twins constantly are breaking bones and God knows Suze has gotten stitches probably three times now.”

“Twins?” you asked.

Harry nodded. “Lilly’s the oldest. And by oldest I mean that she’s twelve. And then there’s Tommy and Susan – the twins – who are only eight. And then Elodie is only two but she’s a daredevil. She toppled our Christmas tree last year.”

“Oh my gosh,” you laughed as Harry started pushing you towards the bathroom. “I didn’t know you had such a big family.”

“Yeah well, it’s a new development in my life,” Harry sighed, “Mum remarried and I was pretty young when she had me so it’s kind of like she’s starting over, ya know?”

“I don’t, honestly,” you sighed, “My parents are kind of old and I have no siblings.”

Harry frowned, “Sounds kind of lonely.”

“It is,” you sighed, “I love kids.”

“Well then you can babysit my rugrats,” Harry sighed, “Okay now I’m going to leave you in here to shower. You’ll be okay, right?”

“I’m 23,” you put your good hand on your hip, “I think I can shower.”

“You’re also on pain meds and cried over not being able to peel an orange.”

You pouted, “You have a point.”

“Okay well,” Harry tossed a towel at you, “Good luck.”

Your shower was refreshing, and you spent your time thinking about Harry rounding up a bunch of little ones and spending his time at home acting as a third adult. You couldn’t imagine what that must be like – firstly to have a mum that you’re close enough to that you can relate to things, and then also to have a lively household where toddlers knock over Christmas trees. It was small moments like these that made you realize you didn’t really know much about Harry outside of the bar. It kind of put your childish crush into perspective.

Getting dressed was a struggle, but once you finally got your oversized shirt over your head, pulling up your thong was much easier. Brushing your hair took a bit longer than it usually did, but by the time you were done you felt refreshed. Opting against pants considering your shirt was so extra large, you meandered into the flat to the sound of soft laughter.

Millie and Harry were sitting on the couch, and they were looking at something on Harry’s phone laughing quietly over something. They were sitting ridiculously close together, and considering Bea was taking up most of the couch with her sleeping figure, you figured they were close together originally because of the lack of area to sit.

“Wait wait look at this one,” Harry chuckled, swiping something on the screen that made Millie hide her giggles in her sweater.

Harry shook his head before sighing and putting away his phone. “So Y/N told me you’re going to be in her film with us.”

Millie sighed and stretched up as she nodded tiredly. “I’m excited,” she said, “Y/N’s really great and all her projects are usually top-notch. I’m lucky she finally decided to let me in. I don’t know if she wanted to do casting or something, but she was hesitant at first.”

“Well she’s been working pretty hard,” Harry yawned, “She sits at the bar and does her work and rewrites basically the entire script.”

“Tad’s a loser,” Millie nodded, “He’s kind of the worst but a lot of writers make you pay to use their scripts and so Y/N probably wanted the cheaper route.”

“She should have just wrote something herself,” Harry grumbled, “That’s basically what she’s doing.”

“She needs Tad’s name in order to receive the credit of working with a writer,” Millie nodded, “And you’re fulfilling the role of outside actor.”

Harry nodded as he furrowed his eyebrows, “I didn’t know that was something she needed.”

“She technically doesn’t,” Millie shrugged, “But she’s an overachiever.”

“Well I’m excited to be working with you,” Harry nodded, “And I’m sorry for walking out the last time we were together. I kept meaning to reach out, but we’ve both been so busy and last time we tried dinner it didn’t really work out, did it?”

Millie chuckled, “Yeah not quite the best.”

You sighed and stepped out into the living room, making your presence known. Harry sat up a bit straighter as you walked sleepily into the room and Millie opened her arms for you to fall into.

“How’re you feeling now babe?” Harry asked, pushing some wet hair from your face as you snuggled up to Millie’s chest.

Your stomach tingled at the word ‘babe’ rolling off his tongue. You shivered, and Millie cooed as she pulled you closer. “Sober,” you grumbled, “And a dull throbbing.”

“Pain meds wearing off?” she asked.

“Probably,” you grumbled, “But that’s okay I’ll just go to bed.”

“Want me to sleep with you?” Millie asked, softly braiding your hair. You sighed, and knew that she was asking to be nice, but probably wasn’t too keen on actually sharing your bed with you. It wasn’t odd for you girls to share a bed – many nights ended with you sleeping next to one of your ladies as they sobered up. But you also knew that Harry and Millie had some sort of chemistry that you needed to not get in between. If they had made plans at one point to do dinner, then you knew that they talked more than you’d originally thought.

So not only were you sober from your meds, but you were sober from the idea of ever being with Harry.

“That’s okay,” you sighed, “I’ll probably be up for a bit longer and I know you’re tired.”

“Going to class tomorrow?” Millie asked.

“No definitely not,” you yawned and pulled out your phone, “I’ll email professors now.”

“I can stay with you tomorrow morning if you’d like,” Harry suggested.

“You can do whatever works for you,” you said, “You’ve done enough, honestly. Sorry about the orange incident.”

“We’ll talk about it for many years to come and never let you forget,” Harry chuckled, “Now let’s go and you can get some sleep.”

“Bea,” you nudged her leg but your girl was out hard. Millie groaned as you both thought of the times you’d had to literally drag her to bed.

“I’ll take her,” Harry sighed, yawning before bending down and scooping Bea up. “Where’s her room?”

“Third down on the right,” Millie said, “I’ll show you”

“Good night guys,” you waved as you all passed your room and turned away quickly before you could hear about the rest of the sleeping situation. Whether Harry spent the night in Millie’s room or not, you didn’t want to know. And you didn’t have to worry about it for long, because you fell asleep much faster than you’d anticipated, dreaming of a large backyard filled with little kids and Harry chasing after all of them.

When you woke in the morning it was quiet. You almost forgot of the events the previous night and early morning had happened before you went to rub your eyes and was met with your wrapped hand. Groaning, you sat up and leaned against the headboard. Moving your hand made the blood seem to turn heavy and your hand started to throb.

Rolling out of bed, you sleepily lumbered into the bathroom. The door was closed, but you didn’t think anything of it as you stumbled in, yawning and stretching. It was warm in the bathroom and you reached for your toothbrush sleepily before looking up in the mirror and nearly screaming.

Harry was staring at you with wide eyes, towel wrapped around his head like a dork and body lean, glistening and naked.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” you screamed, letting out a strangled gasp as you caught a glimpse of Harry in his full glory before you slammed your good hand over your eyes.

“I thought you’d sleep longer!” Harry yelled, reaching for another towel and wrapping it around his waist. “You can look now.”

You opened your eyes hesitantly and groaned. “That’s my towel all up in your junk.”

Harry looked down at the towel he was clutching in his hand and shrugged, “You decide which you’d rather have – junk or towel?”

Mumbling under your breath, you shoved your toothbrush in your mouth and turned away from him. Harry seemed to awkwardly just be standing there, until you realized he was probably waiting to get his clothes that were on the counter right next to where you were.

“You have a lot of tattoos there,” you commented, coughing slightly when you almost choked on your toothbrush.

Harry nodded, “A fun thing to do when I’m bored, I guess.”

“I have a tattoo,” you said before you could stop yourself. Harry’s eyes raised higher than you’d anticipated, and you laughed at his reaction.

“You have one?” he asked, “No way.”

“Yeah I totally do,” you turned and said, “Lift my shirt.”

Without thinking about it, Harry lifted your shirt and the first thing he noticed was your ass. You of course, hadn’t even considered the fact that you were only wearing a thong and t-shirt, more concerned with Harry seeing the minimalist moon tattoos down your spine.

Clearing his throat, Harry looked to your tattoo and actually admired it for a moment – the crisp art of it and the detail of the moon phases. “It’s for my grandpa. He died when I was seventeen and always showed me the moon through his telescope.”

“It’s really nice,” Harry nodded, quickly putting down your shirt and looking away as he grabbed his clothes. “Okay well see you out there.”

You finished brushing your teeth, trying to get the vision of Harry fully naked out of your head. The image however seemed to be imprinted in your mind, and you shook your head multiple times to physically attempt and remove it.

You were not successful.

Going to your room to get changed, you were looking for your leggings when the thought occurred to you in horror – Harry had seen your ass.

Shoving your leggings on, you slid into the hall to find Harry making breakfast – of course – and yelled, “Did you see my ass?”

Harry bit his lip and cleared his throat, “Well, in my defense, you told me to look at your tattoo and –”

“Just say yes or no, Harold,” you grumbled.

“Yes. And my name isn’t Harold.”

“It’s not?”

“No. Just Harry.”

“Oh …”

It grew silent as you hopped up onto the stool across from where Harry was making omelets. He pushed your pills towards you with a glass of water, “You should probably eat something before you take those.”

You nodded, not wanting to defy anything Harry was telling you considering he was still here taking care of you. He could have easily left, but here he was making omelets. God you hated him.

“You sure you’re feeling okay?” Harry asked. You looked up to see him leaning on the kitchen counter, yet another bar between the two of you just like when down at the real bar.

“I guess I’m just overwhelmed,” you sighed, “None of this feels real. Just last night we were at the bar just like normal. The night before that I was drunk and at your flat. Today I’m missing school, which is something I hardly ever do. And you’re here making omelets and I have a busted hand.”

Harry nodded, “Yeah it’s a lot to take in.”

“And you’re just here,” you gestured to him, “Other than in the past couple of days, I’ve never seen you outside the bar. And on Sunday we’re going to be at the same event? I don’t know; it’s just weird.”

“You don’t want to see me outside of the bar?” he smirked.

“No I definitely do,” you said quickly, “You’re awesome and obviously perfect. You’re good with kids, know how to cook, can easily get me drunk – please tell me you can’t do something,” you begged.

Harry laughed at this, leaning forward and just watched you as you ate for a moment. You were different outside of the bar as well. You were more relaxed, less frazzled, and you just seemed more human to him. In the bar, you were this little creature sneaking around, being a clumsy adorable dork, but here you were real and knew where everything was without having to even look. You had pictures of you and your family, and you had been able to get from your bedroom to the bathroom without even opening your eyes.

“You have to tell me something I’ve been dying to ask,” Harry finally said as he stood back up and took the pan to the sink.

“Oh no,” you sighed, “That can’t be good.”

“Why is a being in a relationship and finding someone so important to you?” Harry asked softly.

He watched as you grabbed your plate and groaned, dramatically throwing your head back as you made your way to the couch. Following you, he grabbed your water and watched as you flopped down on the couch and he sat down to face you.

“It’s not that it’s super important to me,” you started off, “It’s just something I think about constantly because I’ve never had the experience. It’s this mysterious thing that seems to work out for everyone else, but here I am, a perfectly good and normal human being with yeah, maybe a couple flaws, but for whatever reason the mere thought of someone loving me the most in their life just never seems to work out.”

Harry nodded and listened as you took a sip of your water. “I guess most of my motives are pretty selfish,” you shrugged, “I mean, the reason I want to be in a relationship is because I want to walk into a room and I want someone to look right at me and know that I’m the person they want to spend the night with, even though there’s an event going on with multiple other people, you know? Like, okay,” you turned to Harry and tucked your legs under you as you spoke, “Imagine being at like a party or something and I’m getting there kind of late but I don’t have to worry about whether or not I’ll be alone because I know that there’s going to at least be one person who will not leave my side, my boyfriend, and he’s going to support me and be excited more than ever when I show up.”

“I guess I just want someone to share my love with, you know? I don’t have a best friend that I can be completely honest with. Sure, Bea and Millie are fantastic and we’ve known each other for years now, but I’ve never felt I could be totally candid with them. My parents are older and so a lot of what I want to talk with them about there’s a sort of generational gap. I guess I’m really looking for a best friend who wants to be with me for the rest of our lives and sees more in me than I do. I want to be able to see a human in front of me and say, ‘That person knows me so well and actually loves me and has chosen me. That person chose me.’”

You were quiet after this, looking down at your food as you pushed the remainder of your food around the plate with your fork. “It’s stupid I guess,” you sighed, “And I know it’s selfish and super cliché. But that’s what I want. And unfortunately I’ve had enough time in my life wondering what a relationship is like, that I’ve had too much time to now concoct this idea in my head of what it’s going to be like and I know that I’ve set the standards too high.”

“Either that,” Harry said, “Or you just really know what you want and that’s perfectly okay.”

“Yeah,” you leaned back on the couch and seemed to be looking off into the distance without looking at anything, “Or I’ve set an impossible standard I’ll never be able to find.”

“You just want someone who’s excited to see you and spend their time with you,” Harry said, “And that’s totally possible.”

You nodded, “I just want that moment where I walk into a room, you know?”

“Yeah I know.”

“And now you see me as this totally clingy weird girl with an obsession with being in a relationship,” you offered your hand to him, “So hi I’m Y/N.”

Harry laughed and took your hand, shaking it lazily before running his hand through his still slightly damp hair. “It makes sense and I’m glad you told me. It helps me put together who you,” Harry gestured to your as you laughed, “truly are.”

“Wow thank you so much I really appreciate that,” you chuckled.

“We should probably clean that hand of yours again,” Harry suggested before taking your plate, “Do you think you can do it on your own this time?”

“I need to be able to,” you said honestly, “I can’t have you just hanging around all the time. You have a life and stuff.”

“Honestly,” Harry called from the kitchen as you watched him from the couch, “I’m enjoying this. It’s been a while since I’ve hung out at someone’s house other than Niall’s. Everyone’s busy with their lives and a lot of my friends from school have moved away. So I really don’t mind.”

“Well you can hang out here anytime you want,” you said, standing and walking to the kitchen island. “Especially if you can cook.”

Harry gave you a soft smile before placing the cleaned dishes on the counter and sighing, “Alright,” Harry looked around, “Well let’s get your hand washed and you can get a handle on it.”

For the next half hour, you and Harry sat on the bathroom floor as he helped you clean your hand and showed you the different medication you were to be using. You had been so out of it in the hospital that if Harry hadn’t listened, you wouldn’t know anything that you were supposed to do, so you were grateful for him and everything he was helping you with.

“That’s about it then,” Harry said as you finished wrapping up your hand again. He offered his hand and you stood up before just going in for a hug. Harry was shocked at first, not really expecting it as you wrapped your arms around his torso and nestled your head into his chest. Your body was warm against his, and he sighed as he held you close for a moment.

“You doin’ okay now?” he asked softly, rocking you slightly as you just stood there quietly.

“Mhm,” you mumbled, appreciating the feel of Harry’s soft body against yours. “Thank you for everything.”

“‘Course,” Harry said as you pulled away and pushed your hair from your face. “Do you want to take tonight off work?”

“No that’s okay,” you shrugged, “I’ll come in. Not sure exactly how much I’ll be able to do though.”

“Doesn’t matter. You can still do tabs and things.”

You walked Harry to the door and realized that you’d learned more about him in the time he’d been here in your flat than you had in all the time you’d been in the bar. “Um –” You had meant to say something until Harry turned around and was looking at you now. He saw your eyes panicking for a moment as you realized you’d opened your mouth without fully thinking.

“We still need to go over the script,” you rushed out, “I know it’s a Friday, so tomorrow morning if you have any time would you be able to meet with at least Millie to go over it?”

Harry pulled out his phone and hummed under his breath as he looked at his calendar. “I usually sleep in on Saturdays, I’m not going to lie, because we’re up late Friday nights and then we’re up late again Saturdays. But is noon okay?”

“Noon is fine,” you said instantly, “I mean, okay I’ll actually check will Millie first and get back to you. Actually, why don’t you just text Millie and ask?”

Harry couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at your flustered thought process. “Yeah that sounds good. We’ll let you know.”

“Okay great because I want you guys to get through the script together, at least the two of you, before we do a full cast reading. And I’ll have to talk to Tad about the rental for the flower shop and we’re hoping to start shooting at least a bit next week if that’s okay so –”

“Y/N,” Harry cleared his throat, “It’s all good.”

“Right,” you nodded, “Okay great thanks I really appreciate it! And your help with this,” you held up your hand.

“Yeah well it was kind of my fault,” he chuckled.

“Our first fight,” you gasped, placing your hand over your chest as Harry couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Let’s not make a habit of it, yeah?”

You nodded as Harry patted your shoulder before closing the door behind him. Suddenly you were on your own and it was quiet – and you hated it.

Harry was surprised by the cold as he jogged to his car, especially after spending so much time in your cozy flat. It had been a long time since he’d spent the night somewhere other than his own flat, but he had to admit spending the night on your lumpy couch wasn’t exactly what he had hoped for.

It didn’t feel like long before the night had started and Harry watched you fumble through holding beers in one hand and explaining to some of your regulars that you had fallen and been in need of some stitches. Harry wasn’t sure how he felt about the fact that you were covering for him and your injury, but he appreciated that you never complained. He only caught you studying once, lingering in the back corner on your stool as you tried to flip through a couple pages of a textbook before stepping back out to help for the night.

As two in the morning rolled around, Harry called you from the back, “I’ll clean up tonight if you want to head on home. You’ve done your best tonight.”

“Which means I didn’t do very well,” you chuckled, blowing some hair from your face as you shrugged on your jacket.

“I’ll see you around this weekend then,” you said, making your way to the door. Harry looked up surprised for a moment.

“You’re going over the script tomorrow at some point and then on Sunday we’re going to the film screening with Mansie.”

“Oh yeah,” Harry nodded, “Yeah I guess we’ll be hanging out quite a lot then.”

In your last minute of confidence you gave Harry a smile, “Isn’t that what friends do?”

Saturday was filled with you casting people to play extras in your film, and meeting with Tad to go over the script and how everything would go down once you started filming in the upcoming week. It exhausted you, and Tad was kind of annoying about the whole thing, but you were patient and were able to get enough work done that when Sunday rolled around, you felt you were ready to take a night off.

The bar was closed on Sundays, but you and Harry and promised to meet Mansie at the bar, so you weren’t surprised to see Harry through the glass as he was cleaning some glasses and just tidying the place up.

“Harry,” you swindled up to the bar and, with your good hand, shot Harry some finger guns. Instantly you regretted it.

“What are you doing?” Harry’s voice was monotone.

“I regret everything,” you mumbled.

“Proud of you,” Harry nodded before hopping over the bar and throwing on his jacket - a jean jacket that you’d never seen on him before - and you definitely took a moment to get used to it.

“Is that a new jacket?” you asked, pulling your beanie down a bit more over your forehead.

“No ...?”

“Just never seen it,” you shrugged.

“That’s because this is my real person clothes, not by bartender clothes.”

You were shocked for a moment as Harry stared at you questionably. “What?”

“You have other clothes set aside specifically for when you’re not bartending?” You couldn’t wrap your mind around the thought, that Harry’s closet might be separated between his regular clothes and work clothes.

“You don’t?” Harry furrowed his eyebrows.

“No! I wear my regular every day clothes! Am I supposed to wear other things?”

“Why are you freaking out?”

“I’m not freaking out! I’m on pain meds!” you cried, weirdly feeling on the verge of tears. Harry went to say something when there was a knock on the glass and you both turned to see Mansie smiling and waving.

“We will talk about this later,” you whispered but Harry just rolled his eyes and opened the door.

“Hi Mansie,” he smiled, “Good to see you again. How was the wedding?”

“Oh it was so lovely and my single heart honestly couldn’t handle it,” Mansie said dramatically, “All my friends are getting married and I’m just going bankrupt.”

“The dresses are expensive,” you nodded.

“Oh no!” Mansie looked down and grasped your hand in hers. “What happened?”

“I took a bit of a tumble,” you sighed, “No biggie.”

“Twenty stitches no biggie,” Harry grumbled before squeezing you close for a moment. “Okay, let’s do this. Get in the car ladies.”

You gave Mansie the front seat because you were a nice human being, but instantly regretted it when Mansie mumbled, “Is this blood?”

“It’s just mine; don’t worry!” you called, to which Harry grumbled, “Oh my God.”

“You two are super close, huh?” Mansie asked, “That’s so nice.”

“We do our best,” Harry sighed, his eyes meeting yours in his mirror before he started making his way towards the campus. The campus student theater was pretty packed by the time you all got there, and Mansie was extremely excited in the cutest way possible.

“I’ve never been to anything like this!” she smiled as the three of you stood in line for popcorn. “This is so exciting; I’ve been thinking of transferring here.”

“You would thrive here,” you nodded, “People here are really helpful and supportive. Plus, we all share the same interests so we all kinda get it, you know?”

“Popcorn please,” Harry said once you finally got the the counter.

“Harry?” The three of you all looked up at the girl behind the counter expectantly, you and Mansie with looks of interest and Harry with a look of fear.

“Amanda,” he smiled cooly, “It’s nice to see you.”

“What are you doing here? I thought you graduated?” Amanda asked as she continued to pump butter into the popcorn bucket.

“I think that’s enough butter, right?” you whispered to Mansie. She nodded.

“I uh ... I’m working at the moment. Still live around here,” Harry nodded, “That’s a lot of butter.”

“Oh you still live around here?” Amanda asked, furiously still pumping the popcorn butter disposal. “That’s so nice.”

“The butter?” Mansie asked politely.

“Yeah um, I’m working at a bar and stuff,” Harry cleared his throat, “Amanda, love, I think the butter -”

“The butter, girl, come on!” you yelled finally, stopping Amanda as she finally turned to you. She then looked at the popcorn bucket before clearing her throat and realizing what she’d done.

“Sorry,” she said stiffly, slamming the popcorn down on the counter and holding out her hand for payment.

Harry sighed and handed her the money before Mansie gingerly took the already leaking bag of popcorn and the three of you made your way towards the theater.

“What did you do to her?” you asked urgently.

“What did she do to our popcorn?” Mansie whined.

“We dated my senior year. Well, okay we didn’t date or anything but we like hooked up a bunch I guess. And I went to her brother’s wedding with her. She lived in my apartment for a while? That’s kind of it though. I mean -”

“So you guys were pretty serious then,” you confirmed.

“And this popcorn is seriously trashed,” Mansie grumbled before throwing the whole bag out before you even entered the dark theater.

“I wouldn’t say we were serious. Like, we never talked about labels and stuff.” Harry looked uncomfortable as the three of you sat down, Harry in the middle of the two of you, as you and Mansie turned to him in need of more answers.

“So you broke up with her?” Mansie asked, checking her watch, “Also do you think she saw I was with you or can I go and get more popcorn with a regular amount of butter?”

“I just told her I was graduating and wouldn’t be around,” Harry shrugged, “And she was kind of mad, I guess, but I never stuck around to like, think about it.”

“Oh my God you just left her,” you gasped. Harry, your sweet and angelic Harry who you’d worshiped, strong, muscular Harry who was nothing but charming and caring, had dumped a girl and was, from what you could tell, afraid of commitment.

“I didn’t!” Harry cried, “We just didn’t see eye to eye about some stuff and I decided to end it. But I guess she never got closure.”

“You’re afraid of commitment,” you whispered in awe.

Harry just gave you a pointed look before the lights dimmed. You barely had time to think about the film as you watched the lights flashing across the screen. You could only think about the fact that Harry was afraid of commitment. Harry was afraid of being in relationships and he had broken up with a girl after months of “dating” without ever labeling things. And he’d just left her.

Harry wasn’t perfect, and the more time you spent with him and learned more about him, the more you realized that Harry was 2% short of perfect. And there were other things he probably wasn't perfect at either. Maybe he was awful at laundry.

Slowly, and hopefully inconspicuously, you leaned over a bit and sniffed Harry’s jacket. Nope, you cursed, it smelled amazing.

Harry stopped whispering to Mansie for a moment as he leaned over, “We’re in a public place so I’m not going to make a big deal out of it, but did you just sniff me?”

“I thought I smelled a really amazing cologne and it wasn’t you,” you said quickly and quietly, feeling your skin heat up as you didn’t even look at Harry. He regarded your profile for a moment, hoping you’d crack under the pressure, but you remained stagnant before he sighed and sat back up, leaning more towards Mansie as they resumed their conversation.

This was the second reason you were having a hard time concentrating on the movie in front of you. Harry and Mansie had talked through the whole film. Granted, they were talking about the film, but still. You tried not to feel jealous and focus on the fact that Harry was shit at commitment, but then you started wondering if maybe Harry had changed since then. Maybe now Harry was ready for commitment, and this made you slump down in your seat with self-loathing for your consciousness.

The movie ended and you had no idea what happened, but everyone seemed generally pleased so you clapped along with everyone else. “Where are you staying Mans?” Harry asked as the three of you made your way towards the door. “We can drop you at your hotel.”

“That would be great! Thank you,” Mansie smiled as the three of you made your way to the car. She gave the address and you sat quietly in the backseat as the two in front of you continued their conversation.

“All I’m saying is that whoever was the producer was definitely cutting some corners towards the end,” Mansie shrugged, “There were some flaws in the fluency of the film and it was kind of choppy.”

“It was made by sophomores though,” Harry pointed out, “They’ve got lots of learning to do.”

“They just didn’t shoot it with the right camera,” you said, cutting off the two bickering. “It was an amateur film, and they stated at the beginning that it was merely a side project so I’ll give them that, but they weren’t shooting with a video camera. It was clearly a DSLR and a stabilizer and you could tell because the focusing shots didn’t really have any structure. They were sloppy with the timing of the day they shot at too because you could see the shadows weren’t correct or fluid through certain scenes. They tried to go for close up shots but didn’t have the correct cameras to make it look good so instead the audience felt cramped. And they didn’t have any sort of carriage to mount their camera, and so the stabilizer could only do so much, and you could tell they didn’t have an even point from which they were shooting - you felt like you were either above them or looking up at the actors and you never felt level with them which is why many people probably didn’t feel connected to what they were watching. And they totally didn’t frame any of their shots beforehand. They obviously just did the scenes and set up a camera in two different positions and kept swapping back and forth. That creates whiplash without the audience even realizing they were feeling it.”

The car was silent for a moment and you noticed Harry and Mansie share a look. “What?” you asked, slightly aggressively.

“Just ... nothing; that was really informative,” Harry said, “That’s why you’re the director.”

“That’s common stuff though, I thought,” you said, “Most people should know that by their sophomore year.”

“You’re not most people though babe,” Harry sighed, almost in a tired voice as his eyes made contact with you in the mirror again. The feeling in your stomach was as if Cupid had shot you with an arrow, but now he was trying to pull it out because he had realized his mistake. You gave Harry a soft smile before looking away.

You both said your polite goodbyes to Mansie before she left and you got out to get into the front seat. “I’ll pay for you to wash your seat,” you said, noticing the small blood stain that Mansie had noticed earlier.

“Don’t worry about it,” Harry brushed it off. “I’ll take you to your flat, but I’ve got to come up too because Millie wants to run lines again.”

“Oh,” you nodded, “I thought you guys did that yesterday.”

“We didn’t get through the whole script.” Harry wasn’t really looking at you as he drove, which you understood because safety, but you felt he was a being kind of distant as the car melted into silence.

“So -”

“Can you fucking believe Amanda?” Harry burst, “Jesus, I can’t believe she acted like that.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Well, she got all huffy and made it seem like this was all on me or whatever. She wasn’t the perfect person to have around either. She was kind of clingy and, I mean, she was super sweet and everything but she was kind of younger and definitely I made it clear we weren’t going to be something.”

“Okay well -”

“If she wanted closure she could have texted,” Harry said defiantly. “It’s not on me that she feels that way.”

“Remember when I told you that you needed to be an asshole so I wouldn’t like, fall for you and shit?” you asked, your chest burning. “Well you’re doing a fucking good job because you’re being a downright asshole right now.”

“What?”

“Well obviously Amanda’s going to feel hurt!” you cried, “She was, what? A sophomore when you started dating? She was young, Harry, and she probably wasn’t as experienced with these more serious relationships away from home and you fucking went to her brother’s wedding! Of course she thought this would probably go somewhere! And then she finds out that you actually aren’t somewhere far off but in reality you’re tending at a bar like, around the corner? Your whole basis for not wanting to be together anymore was that you were graduating and leaving! You screwed her over!”

Harry was quiet but he was gripping the steering wheel pretty tightly. At this point though, you didn’t give a shit. You seriously didn’t care. Harry was being just like any other guy who didn’t realize why you were upset when you were told they ‘just wanted to have a little bit of fun.’

“You need to see this from her perspective,” you said quietly, realizing you’d been pretty loud previously, “Everyone falls differently, Harry, and honestly, for those of us who don’t have the opportunity to fall often, we leap when we have the chance. We know we’re going to get hurt, but we do it anyway because sometimes we hope we’ll stick the landing.”

You were at your flat now, and you sighed as you both sat there in silence. Harry had still yet to say anything, but you were on a roll now. “And about Millie.” You turned to look at Harry and he finally looked at you. He looked conflicted, and you were glad that he was at least thinking about what you were saying and not instantly blocking you out.

“I know you guys have like, a thing going on or whatever,” you said, “And I cast her because I knew that coming in. You guys have chemistry and we could use all the extra help on this film we could possibly get. But I’m just asking, begging you really, to not try to be together until after the film is done. I don’t want to risk anything for this project. This is all I have. And whatever pent up frustration the two of you have for not being together is going to sell it big in the film, okay? So just please, if you can do at least one thing for me, and I know you’ve already done a lot, but please please don’t act on your feelings until after, okay?”

Harry didn’t say anything for a moment before letting out a long breath. “We don’t have anything going on,” he finally said. This made you groan as you threw yourself back in the seat. “What?!” Harry asked, “We don’t!”

“Okay well if feelings do develop then don’t fuck on my set,” you said before getting out of the car and slamming the door behind you.

“What is so far up your ass right now?” Harry called after you, following you into the lobby as you pressed the elevator button and waited.

“I’m just tired,” you sighed, “I’m tired because I have a lot going on and just had to cast ten freshmen as extras because freshmen are like, the only ones who don’t ask for payment because they know they suck. And you and Millie are being all weird, and you and Mansie flirted through the entire film and I could barely pay attention -”

“We weren’t flirting,” Harry cut in.

“Oh my God do you ever own up to anything?” You couldn’t help but laugh at this as the two of you stepped into the elevator. “‘Millie and I aren’t a thing. Mansie and I didn’t flirt.’ Dude I’ve been there for both of these events and can straight up tell you that you’ve been flirting!”

Harry laughed at this, “You think me talking to any girl is flirting in that hopeless mind of yours,” Harry bopped your nose and you glared at him. This again.

“Whatever,” you sighed, “And I totally don’t think that. We talk all the time and do I have to show you my tits to remind you I’m a girl?”

The elevator doors opened and Bea stood there looking bored. “You’re showing Harry your tits?”

“No,” you and Harry said at the same time. Bea just rolled her eyes and shoved past you both.

“Whatever. I don’t have time for this. Gav got a puppy and thought he could take care of it alone but he’s totally incompetent and I’m basically going to be adopting this damn dog. I’ll see you guys later.”

The doors started to close before Bea slammed her hand out to stop them, “And Y/N, if you’re going to show your tits to anyone, I want to know about it.”

You rolled your eyes as the doors started to close, Bea winking at you quickly before you followed Harry down the hall. “Insufferable,” you grumbled.

“In her defense though, you did offer to show me your tits,” Harry said as he opened the door. Millie was sat on the couch, eating some cereal as her eyes widened.

“You did what?!” she cried, mouth still full of Cheerios.

“I didn’t!” you yelled, walking past her and on your way to your room, “Just read your scripts and memorize the shit out of them so I don’t have to reprimand the two of you next week!”

“If you wanted to see my tits you could have just asked!” Harry called after you before you slammed the door. You hated it, but you couldn’t help but smile as you were finally alone in your room. It might not be romantic, but there was a hot guy in your life for once, and just being able to say you were friends with him was enough for you.

At least, your little relationship-hungry troll in your chest cackled, for now it was enough.

-----

Guess the heck what ya gurlie is sick af and so y’all get updates almost every day! Or early morning! Because my sleep schedule is fucked! Haha hahahahah. Anyway - hope you like this next part! Thanks for all the messages you lovely humans I appreciate everything you have given me and seriously want to adopt each and every one of you!

Part 5 HERE.

#harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fluff #harry styles series #harry styles au #harry styles smut #one direction #rue_by_another_name #harry styles writing #harry styles story #hs

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fabulusshitposting · 7 years ago

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My 2017 in a Nutshell

So I wanted to make a post were I put everything that happened during the year into one post. This is more for my sake than as a post so you can just skip over it if you want. It also probably gonna be long as fuck. Oh and im also gonna include my new years wishes at the bottom.

January

So, I actually don't remember alot. Just that, I was starting a new semester. And afterschool theatre rehearsals for the musical I was in (Annie Jr) had started. And as per usual, my parents went "Why are you still going to theatre rehearsals, I thought we discussed it would end" and as per usual I reply "Mom, I'm in the class. Like literally, it is my class. You've seen my schedule."

February

This was the month that we perform Annie Jr. On the 14, we performed it for about 800 elementary school students who came to our school as a field trip to watch it (I also got to miss the day of school, so that was fun). My role was Pepper the Orphan. I had so much fun. And it was the biggest role I had yet, a supporting role. And I loved it. And performing for the little children was so fun because we got to hear the reactions and laughs and it was incredible. (In the picture below, I am the one on the far right)

March

During spring break, on March 17, Markiplier livestreamed some "Oxygen Not Included". I had started watching an hour into the stream and so I kept it up while I did other stuff. During it Mark say it would be great if someone made a huge form of game suggestions because everyone had been suggesting games in the comments. So I do that and post it on tumblr. One or two people pop up on it and I expected that much since I had a few Tumblr followers. Then like 50 pop up and then I was like "AHHHHH, What is happening!?" in my head. I check my phone and Mark had reblogged it. Then a few days later since I had seen Ethan (CrankGamePlays) looking for games too I made one for him and he retweeted it.

I was run crew for our musical "Guys and Dolls", this was also quite fun but that added to make March more busy for me. And I have to say one of the main things that kept me motivated to stay on top of things for the end of that school year was the fact Mark and Ethan reblogged and retweeted my thing. So Thank You for that.

April

This is my birthday month, so I turned 16 on the 24th! This month was pretty normal. It was also when we started all those reviews for the end of the year exams and finals.

May

This month school ended! I finished school. But I got a letter in the mail for credit recovery because I got a D in AP World History. The moment I saw this, it made my heart drop because holy shit how was I suppose to tell my parents that.

June

So I did my credit recovery and replaced that D with an A in just four short days. About 2 weeks later I got really sick. I was sick in bed with high fevers for a straight week and lost 10 pounds in that week too.

July

This month was pretty normal too. I watched fireworks during the forth of July and went to the beach for a few days. And at the end of the month I got new clothes for school.

August

So this month is when school started again. The day before school I threw up. Multiple times. And got zero sleep that night too because I was throwing up. Although I didn’t think much of it and still went to school the next day. (I also may have almost fallen asleep in my AP Environmental Science class but shhhhhh, I’ve already almost fallen asleep and have slept in that class multiple times this year. It’s not my fault the teacher has such a monotone voice)

Although I started to notice that as a few days past I still felt really nauseous every time I ate something. I would feel nauseous all day. So I go to the doctor and they say “Oh its probably Gastritis that got triggered from a stomach bug. Just eat bland foods and if it doesn’t go away in two weeks come back.” So I went back after 3-4 weeks. (Trying to find an appointment made it longer.)

I also join a knew discord server on August 19th that had some pretty cool and fantastic people on it.

September

I go back to the doctor during this month and she calls for some blood tests. Although the results for that got delayed a bit because of Hurricane Irma (I live in Tampa, Florida) When they did come back. Everything was mostly normal but my SedRate was a 72. I was told the normal was suppose to be a 20, soooo you can see the problem there. Anyways after a few more of these test to make sure it wasn’t an error I was scheduled for an endoscopy.

Also during this month Mark put his tour tickets on sale for “Markiplier’s You’re Welcome Tour” and my mom let me buy a couple for me and my sister. I payed for most of it with money I had saved up since I covered $200 of the total $285 cost.

Also during this time I was doing relatively well in school. And helped out a bit with the set building for my school’s straight show. (Barefoot in the Park)

October

I got my endoscopy done and there was nothing visually wrong but I did find out I was Lactose Intolerant. So they scheduled an Ultrasound. They also put me on a new stomach med that helped out immensely. But my parents weren’t too happy with this because 1- They thought that me being lactose intolerant was BS since I’ve been able to drink milk all my life. and 2- That I was too young to be taking everyday meds.

During the entire month though I was also stressing out about grades because report cards came out near the end of the month.

I was also on Run Crew for our One Acts during this time.

So Mark’s tour was on the 14. The day before it I wanted to discuss the schedule we would have for the day. But my dad then goes “OH and why should I even take you in the first place. You have bad grades (I had mostly As and Bs). You know what, you’re not going” Of course this hurts me immensely since I had been hoping to go see it for so long. I had asked my mom back in June that if they came to Florida could I go see it. Those wonderful kind people I knew in the discord server I was in were nice enough to comfort me. And after about 2 hours my mom comes in and tells me she talked to my dad and that I would be going.

Anyways I go to the tour and by some insane chance of luck, I get chosen to go on stage and participate during the tour. I’ll include some pictures below that this kind person there had taken and talked to me after to send them to my email. I also have this video .

(look at Bob’s face in the back of this one tho)

November

This month was pretty normal and relatively happy actually. School was fine for the most part. I had fantastic time with irl friends and online discord friends. I had Thanksgiving break that was also fine for the most part. I also had my ultrasound and everything was fine and normal but the accidental found a cyst on my Kidney. They said it was fine since it was small, but they did want to do another ultrasound in 6 months to make sure it didn’t get bigger.

December

This month is when review and studying started up for midterm exams so I was worrying about those. But I ended up with mostly As and Bs so I’m personally happy (although my parents not so much, since I got yelled and fucking torn down verbally for getting a B on my math midterm)

This was also the time when deposit money was due for the trip my theatre planned to go to New York. I ha already talked to my mom and she said it was fine but my dad said no and that it was stupid and bullshit and that I shouldn’t go anywhere because I apparently am not a good daughter. So my mom gave me the deposit money and I turned that in but then I got yelled at more and more by my dad and then it just back and forth between my parents so I decided that I couldn’t take it anymore and pulled out. I couldn’t take my hopes for going to New York being crushed over and over. I actually don’t know if my mom has realized that yet. oh well.

And then we had a half assed Christmas because finals lasted up until a few days before Christmas and its usually up to me and my sister to put up decorations and stuff for Christmas. So Christmas wasn’t fun, for me at least.

So that has been my 2017 year. I think its normal as usual. The only thing that has changed is that I got yelled at more this year. And my new year wishes or resolutions or whatever the fuck you call them are the same as they have been for the past 5 years.

I hope I get yelled at less. I hope I can do something I enjoy and have my parents actually support me for once since most of the time they only support me when its something they like. I wish my life can be something I want. (But you know its probably not gonna happen. Like why do I even bother trying anymore.)

I am going to try to be better daughter too since apparently I’m never good enough too.

I just decided to do this so that maybe I can idk look back on it during next new years eve. If you actually took the time to read my shitty post about my shitty self. well then, idk what to say.

#my 2017 in a nutshell

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theartificialdane · 8 years ago

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Galactica, part 236

In this we celebrate Thanksgiving from New Orleans to Long Island, and some have a jollier holiday than others!

Thank you @veronicasanders @toriibelledarling and @samrull for all of your amazing help and support <3

“Not too late to back out,” Bianca said, as their car service pulled up to her parents’ house outside New Orleans.

“It sort of feels like it’s too late…” Courtney answered.

“Nahh…” Bianca slipped a hand around her waist, pulling her close. “We can be at the Ritz in 25 minutes...room service...a fireplace…” Bianca kissed her neck as the driver unloaded their luggage.

Courtney rolled her eyes. “Let’s call that Plan B.”

Bianca grinned and let Courtney drag her out of the car. She held her hand, leading her up the walk, pausing for a second to say, “Brace yourself,” as she pushed open the door.

Courtney’s stomach was in knots. She had met a few of their family members before while she and Adore were in college, but this was different. She didn’t know whether it was good or bad that Adore wasn’t here - she’d chosen to spend the holiday with Alaska’s family in Pennsylvania. On the one hand, she’d have been another ally, but on the other hand, it may not help her cause for everyone to have a constant visual reminder that she’d started out as their baby sister’s best friend and was now dating their oldest sibling. She had a moment of panic when, swept up by a flurry of siblings and nieces and nephews and cousins, Bianca dropped her hand.

“Courtney! You look great, how’s it going?”

Courtney turned gratefully towards the familiar voice, giving Eddy a hug. “Hi! Thanks, how are you?”

“Pretty good, no complaints.”

“Congratulations, I hear you and Rose got engaged last week!”

“Yeah, well...you know, I finally accepted that you would never return my love, so…”

Courtney laughed, shaking her head. “Please stop, you’re gonna get us both in trouble.”

“Baby!” Bianca wrapped an arm around her, pulling her away from Eddy. “Jesus Christ, I thought I’d never find you again. Come meet my sisters.”

Vanessa and Liz were polite, if slightly icy, looking Courtney up and down. “It’s lovely to meet you,” Vanessa said.

“That’s a cute dress, reminds me of that designer B’s friends with...what’s her name, Bianca?” Liz asked pointedly.

“Her name is Miss Fame, and that dress is Marc Jacobs. You nothing literally nothing about fashion,” Bianca replied, then turned to one of her cousin’s kids. “Chloe! Hi, pumpkin! How’s school?”

Courtney forced a sunny smile. “I don’t know the designers either. I just liked the print.”

“Right,” Liz said, with a slight eye roll.

“So Courtney, my daughter really likes your album,” Vanessa added. “I told her she had to wait a few years to watch the videos, but I’m pretty sure she didn’t listen.”

Courtney’s cheeks reddened a little. “Sorry.”

“I mean, it’s not your fault. They’re just a little racy for a seven year old. Hey, Maddie!” She beckoned her daughter over to them.

“Yeah…” Courtney cleared her throat as a girl with dimples and dark curled bounced over, hugging Bianca around the waist and looking up at her shyly.

Bianca lifted the seven year old off the ground.

“You’re Courtney, right?” she asked shyly.

“Hi, yeah, you must be Madison.”

The little girl’s eyes widened. “How do you know my name?”

“Well, I mean, I follow your mother on Instagram. So I get to see pictures of you all the time.”

“You /do/?”

“Yeah, I think your dog is really cute.” Courtney smiled, relieved to have someone else on her side, even a seven year old.

“I think YOUR dog is really cute! Oh my gosh, can they be friends?”

“Kylie would love that!”

Madison grinned. “Wanna see my American Girl Doll?”

“Definitely.” Courtney allowed the small child to lead her by the hand into the other room, thrilled to be stepping away from the mayhem.

***

“Sit still little man.” Katya smiled as she took a step back to admire her handywork.

Ivan was all dressed up, his chubby little cheeks red and his blonde hair water combed. Katya had bought his blue dress shirt and pants so he could match his daddy, Katya herself wearing the blue sky dress Trixie had made for her so many years back after she got out of rehab. Katya knew she should properly connect the dress to something sad, her time in upstate New York at the rehab clinic one of the hardest things she had ever had to do, her family abandoning her and the memories of the kind brown eyed man keeping her up at night as she had twisted and turned, but she didn’t. It had been made for her by a man that loved her, and she was going to wear it to every joyous occasion she could, and the first thanksgiving with her son was definitely just that.

Katya reached over and picked Ivan up, the little boy smiling his cute mostly toothless smile filling her with joy as he grabbed her hair. Katya laughed, gently freeing her blonde locks from her son’s grib.

“Let’s go show daddy how cute you are, huh?”

“Dada!”

“That’s right little man.” Katya kissed Ivan’s head and made her way towards the kitchen where Trixie was cooking up a feast with the help of Laila and Pearl.

***

“Apa kebar, are you sure I’m saying it right?”

“You’re saying it perfectly lovely eyes.” Sutan smiled as he walked up the steps to his mother's little yellow house, Violet’s hand in his, his girlfriend holding Frida’s leash and the small box that contained her gift to his mother. Sutan had tried to tell Violet time and time again that she didn’t have to bring anything for his mom, but his girlfriend still insisted every time, just like she stumbled through the greeting ritual of his culture, her words clumsy but her intend so clear you couldn’t do anything but love her.

Violet nodded, and Sutan reached out to ring the doorbell, his mom opening the door, a big smile on her face as she hugged them, Sutan getting kisses and warnings that he was getting too thin, Frida even treated to a gentle pet as his mom accepted Violet’s gift of a simple, but beautiful vintage headscarf in a pale yellow with a kiss to Violet’s cheek as well.

“Com in com in.” Mani stepped aside, letting the couple and their dog step inside. “Dinner almost done, eveyone in livingoom.” Mani opened the door, Raja and Raven already on the couch.

“Fame, what are you doing here?”

Sutan was so surprised to see his friend sitting in the armchair by the fire, that he didn’t see Violet’s face at all, his girlfriend's eyes widening in horror when she realised that it was indeed her boss, none other than Miss Fame herself, that was in the living room, her gigantic Great Dane napping on the carpet, the three woman playing cards while they waited for dinner.

***

‘’Can everyone go home already? My head hurts.” Betty was draped over the couch, her arm over her forehead in a dramatic gesture.

“Kitty, hate to break it to you, but they’re not here yet.” Shane set some more plates on the table, preparing for the Thanksgiving dinner they were hosting for members of Bach Street Boys with their plus ones. Ruby had nearly suffocated Shane in a hug earlier when he told her that of course she can bring Max, no question about it.

The turkey was still in the oven, but mashes potatoes were already ready, along with gravy, cranberry sauce and an array of other delicious dishes they spend the entire morning making (Or, Shane did. Betty helped cut some vegetables until she announced her cold was getting better of her and she settled on the couch, downing her cold medicine with half a bottle of wine). She was currently half-sick, half-drunk and fully in an awful mood.

“What do you mean they’re not here? Are you making that much noise all by yourself? Ugh.”

At that exact moment, the doorbell rang and Shane hurried to the door to let in Raga and his girlfriend Evah, who carried a tray of pumpkin pie.

“Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Are we first? I brought Ruby the cutest skirt from Japan, I swear she is going to /die/ when she tries it on. Is she really bringing that mysterious boyfriend of hers? Hey, Shane. Long time no see.”

“How was Japan, Evah?” Shane asked as the blue-haired girl climbed to her toes to kiss him on the cheek.

“Amazing as always. I brought stuff for you guys too, so no worries. Where’s Betty? Take this to the kitchen, will you, babe?” Evah practically shoved the tray of pie into Raga’s arms and pranced into the living room, leaving the men behind in the hallway.

“Must’ve missed her a lot, huh?” asked Shane, a little sarcastically. Evah was Raga’s high school sweetheart, a rising star of the e-sport community who made money hosting gaming livestreams. She was very into Japanese fashion and pop culture. Somehow Betty has learned the word ”weeaboo” and rarely called Evah anything else since.

“House was quiet without her,” shrugged Raga, handing Shane the pie.

Meanwhile, in the living room, Betty craved death. Even though her fever went down slightly from the meds, her throat was in flames, her head ready to burst open and she also felt nauseous and dizzy from the wine. Evah was showing her photos from the convention in Tokyo she went on, but Betty could barely see anything because of her watery eyes.

“You know how many makeup Youtubers want to collab with me all of a sudden? I only do cosplay makeup, it’s a whole different world, you know? Bets, you okay? You don’t seem well.”

“Yeah, no shit. I’m dying.”

“Oh. Sorry to hear about that. Maybe I’ll go help the boys in the kitchen then?” Evah awkwardly patted Betty’s arm, a gesture Betty completely ignored, and bounced away to the kitchen, her frilly skirt dancing in the air the last thing Betty saw before her eyelids closed.

The next time she opened her eyes, a freakishly tall man dressed in all black was standing right above her, pointing at something. ‘’Sorry, but what the hell is this?’’

“Max, come on. It’s Betty. She’s a little sick, obviously not her best day, give her a break,” winked Ruby from the table, raising a glass Betty’s way with a brilliant smile, visibly way too proud of her joke.

“Can everybody please fuck the fuck off?” Betty whined, grabbing the nearest blanket and wrapping it around her arms.

“Not really, you invited us, remember?”

“Ugh. I guess.” There was a loud noise and a curse coming from the kitchen which Betty ignored, instead opting for getting up and making her way to join everybody by the table. The cold meds made her hungry.

“That doesn’t answer my question. What the hell is that… statue? Is it like a statement? Does it… mean anything?” Max pointed at the Poseidon statue by the window. It was wearing a scarf wrapped around its head like a turban and was as ugly as ever.

Raga raised his head from a half-finished serving of mashed potatoes and snorted. “That’s Shane’s best friend.”

“Yeah. Sometimes I think he loves that ugly thing more than he loves me.”

Shane was in the kitchen making noise, unable to confirm nor deny the statement. With a shrug, Betty reached for a bottle of red wine that stood alone in the middle of the table, but when she felt a coming coughing fit, she wasn’t able to do anything to stop it. She knocked the bottle over, the wine immediately spilling all over the table and onto Ruby, who was closest, staining her cream white skirt. Ruby jumped to her own salvation, knocking over some glasses and screaming, and caused Evah to cry out, “What the fuck, Ruby, you stepped on my foot!” The guys tried to save the situation but they only managed to make it worse, flailing around. Betty slowly but surely moved away from the table and she was the first to notice Shane in the doorway, defeated, black smudges on his face and white t-shirt.

“Guys?” Nobody heard him. “GUYS!” he screamed.

All the heads turned towards Shane.

“What?”

“I burned the turkey.”

***

Courtney walked down the hall, trying to find her way back to the living room through the maze of the Del Rio’s house, when she paused, hearing her name. One of Bianca’s sisters was chatting with someone, probably a cousin. She stopped to listen.

“...well yeah, it’s just, she’s never taken anyone home before so, you know, I always figured Bianca was holding out for someone, like...I don’t know…”

“I get what you’re saying. She’s like, sweet, but it’s a bit anticlimactic. Liz keeps calling her a gold digger, but that’s not really the vibe I get. It’s more...just...I don’t know…”

“Right? I’m not trying to be mean but I sort of expected B to bring home a supermodel who happened to be a nobel prize winner.”

Courtney closed her eyes, having heard enough, and walked quickly back to their room.

COURTNEY: Your family hates me

ADORE: Yeah, well, they hate everyone. Why do you think I never go home? Did they try to put you in a mental institution?

COURTNEY: No

ADORE: OK so what are you complaining about?

COURTNEY: lol

ADORE: Eddy loves you

COURTNEY: Yeah. We’re BFFs. He was totally my type, when I dated guys. Except he appears to have a moral compass, so...maybe not

ADORE: HA! I’m telling him you said that.

COURTNEY: OMG DON’T YOU DARE I’M ON THIN ICE AS IT IS

“Hey! There you are!” Bianca walked into the bedroom, wrapping her arms around Courtney’s waist.

“Hi, sorry.”

“We’re about to sit down for dinner. I have to warn you...they promised they would make vegan-friendly stuff but my mom just said ‘vegans can eat eggs, right?’ So I can’t really promise that this food is safe.”

“Oh, that’s...that’s alright. I’ll just eat vegetables.”

“I mean, right, but you know you’re in the South. So we count mac and cheese as a vegetable.”

“Well, that’s insane.” Courtney hugged Bianca around the waist and laid a head on her shoulder. “I guess it’s a cheat day?”

“I guess so. Sorry, baby.”

***

“Mmh.. You’re such a good kisser.” Katya smiled, her and Trixie were on the bed, Trixie on top of her, his weight comfortable, her hand in his hair, his shirt open, Trixies soft, plump lips between her own. Katya had taken one look at her husband in his pink Thanksgiving shirt, and she had jumped his bones straight away.

“My sweet bo-” In that moment, Katya realised that the sour smell in the air wasn’t Ivan’s diaper, but rather a very different unpleasant smell. “Is something burning?”

“Oh fuck, the pie!” Trixie sprung up like a pig that had been bitten, racing to the kitchen, a surprised scream coming from outside their room.

“Dude! No! Keep your man boobs in your room!”

“Sorry!”

Katya laughed, the holiday peace truly settling over the little home on the Upper East Side.

***

“We’re flying flowers in from Fiji, they look /amazing/, I can’t wait for all of you to see it at the rehearsal dinner.”

Violet smiled to herself, Raven had been talking about her wedding all through dinner, the woman so excited about the party that she was practically vibrating out of her skin, every conversation with her somehow ending up on the subject.

“Vey nice, vey nice.” Mani stood up, the old woman reaching out to take the dishes, but Violet quickly jumped in. “Let me.”

“You good gil Violet, you vey good gil.” Violet blushed slightly, still proud of the fact that Sutan’s mom liked her so much.

“You’re welcome.” Violet picked up the pitcher of water and the wine glasses before she left the room, Mani and Raven staying behind, but as Violet walked out into the hallway she saw that the door to the backyard was open. Violet felt her heart drop, sure that Frida had somehow gotten out but when she got there she saw Sutan, Raja and Fame all standing together, the three of them passing around what looked like a cigarette. Violet could hear Raja and Sutan laughing together and the low voices of the group chatting. Violet turned around, ready to go to the kitchen Frida that had left the living room came bolting down the hall, the little dog smelling the night air.

“Frida! Frida no!” Violet ran after Frida, not knowing if the gate in the yard was open as she bursted out through the door. “Frida!” Violet grabbed the little dog, the pitcher in her hand emptying out on the grass, the water splashing and hitting Fame’s pants.

“Violet!” Violet looked up, her eyes wide as Fame raised her voice. “What do you think you’re doing-”

“I’m sorry Miss.”

“I don’t care about your excuses!” Fame’s tone was sharp, and Violet felt her stomach clench as she stood up, the pitcher on the ground, Frida in one hand, the stack of plates in the other, Raja and Sutan starring at both of them. “Have you hit your head? When did you become incapable of doing the simple task of not spilling like a toddler? Are you a toddler Violet?”

Violet was just about to respond when she was interrupted.

“Hey, Fame, I know you showed a giant stick up your ass when Patrick left you, but don’t be a fucking bitch okay? Nothing happened and Violet didn’t do it on purpose.”

Violet could see Fame’s chok, the woman’s eyes wide at the way Sutan had just spoken to her, but Violet turned her back, escaping before she could hear Fame’s respons. She knew she should be happy that Sutan was standing up for her, but it just felt humiliating. Like he didn’t trust her to stand up to herself. Violet could hear the talk in the garden pick back up again, Raja clearly mending the situation, all three of them soon laughing together like the old friends they were.

“Eveyone! Time for pie and TV! You come watch movie with Mani.”

“Yes mom!”

***

“Bianca,” Liz defended herself with an eyeroll, arm around her older sister. “I’m not saying it to be a bitch.”

“Right, I know, you being a bitch is just a fun side effect.” Bianca sipped her wine, rolling her eyes.

“I’m trying to look out for you! Look, I’m sure everything is just sunshine and rainbows right now, but really think about this...do you think this girl, this 22 year old, would be with you if you didn’t have money?”

“Well, I don’t know, Liz, I mean, if I didn’t have money...what would I be doing? Like actually no money? I don’t really think she’d be with a homeless person, if that’s what you’re asking, so...what’s your fucking point, exactly?”

“My point, B, is that this girl is clearly playing you. How long into your relationship did she get a recording contract? And now she’s on Housewives? Adore said she was only ever with guys before, and then she meets you, and all of a sudden, she’s a lesbian, overnight? Because of someone old enough to be her mother? More like she saw dollar signs--”

Bianca stood up. “Okay, you’re done now. Thanks for the advice, now you can shut your fucking mouth.”

“Bianca!” Aida exclaimed, passing by her daughters, collecting empty plates. “Watch your language, there are children here.”

“Tell Liz to stay out of my goddamn relationship,” Bianca said angrily, “Or I swear, we’re leaving right now! I am not staying and listening to this bullshit about my girlfriend being a gold digger. Fuck you, Liz--”

“Mija, mija, please…” Aida soothed, putting an arm around Bianca’s waist and a hand on Liz’s shoulder. “Elizabeth, why are you antagonizing your sister?”

“I’m NOT! I’m just trying to help her!”

“No, actually, you’re just being a CUNT--”

“Bianca! Stop!” Aida cried. “You know she’s just projecting because of her divorce, honey.”

“Mom!” Liz said, offended.

“Well, sorry, mija, but you’ve been very bitter. Courtney’s a nice girl.”

“Thank you!”

“I mean, she’s too young for you, but that’s not her fault.”

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Bianca threw up her hands.

***

“Oh god I want to die.” Pearl groaned. She was laying on her side, her stomach growling with all the food she had eaten, the top she was wearing almost painfully tight but she couldn’t phantom getting up to change,

“That’s what happens when you have four helpings of green bean casserole.” Pearl opened an eye to see Laila stand at the edge of the bed, her girlfriend in a band t-shirt and panties, her short legs on full display and if Pearl could have felt hungry in any way she would have fucked Laila into next week.

“You’re not being a very good girlfriend right now…” Pearl knew she was pouting, but it didn’t matter when Laila laughed and got underneath the covers with her, her girlfriend pulling her into a hug

***

Bianca climbed into the bed, wrapping Courtney into an embrace, sucking gently on her neck. “Hi,” she murmured, caressing the skin of her waist.

“Hi yourself…”

Bianca’s hands continued to wander, and her kisses grew heated. She let out a whimpery sigh, tangling their legs together.

Courtney shifted, hands stroking her back, looking up at her with an amused expression. “Seriously?” she whispered. “Are you really trying to have sex right now? There’s like 40 people in this house…”

“Yeah, well, it’s been a very stressful day.”

“No shit. I’m fucking exhausted, B.”

“Please, baby, I promise I’ll make it worth your while,” Bianca wheedled softly, fingertips trailing down her arms.

Courtney closed her eyes. “That’s all I need, for your family to think I’m a nympho in addition to being a gold digger.”

Bianca laughed. “You can bite on a pillow.”

“B…”

“Do you remember Thanksgiving last year?” Bianca breathed into her ear.

Courtney bit her lip, suddenly bombarded with the sense memory of their first kiss, the surprising softness of Bianca’s plush lips, the pressure of her full hips against the kitchen sink, the shivers that raced through her body, the nervous anticipation, the feeling that her whole world was about to shift. If only she knew just how much…

Bianca cupped Courtney’s face in her hand, a thumb tracing her lips in the same gentle way she’d done a year ago, voice an urgent whisper. “I’d never wanted anyone more in my entire life, than the way I wanted you.” Her hips began to roll, pressing Courtney into the mattress.

“Bianca…”

“Did you? Did you want me too?”

A whimper escaped Courtney’s lips as she arched up against Bianca’s body, gripping her ass. “You know I did. So, so much…still do...”

Bianca nibbled a trail down her collarbone, hands sliding under her top. “Let me give you what you need, baby…what we both need...”

“Yes…” Courtney replied, breathless, succumbing to the desire that flooded through her. She closed her eyes, realizing that she’d once again been betrayed by her body, by her weakness for Bianca’s touch.

#galactica #au aag verse #rdr fanfiction #my fics

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daringyounggrayson · 6 years ago

Note

You said you wanted birdflash prompts, and I think that #58 on the angst-to-fluff ("Very Mature. Asshole.") fits them nicely

Hey, thanks so much for the request, I really enjoyed filling it! I had a cold and an ear infection when I started writing this, so enjoy some sick birdflash.

In Sickness and in Health (AO3)

Dick is calling it: he’s officially sick. And not “just a common cold” sick, but “stay home and move as little as possible” sick. He can’t remember the last time he could really think clearly and his throat feels like sandpaper from all the coughing. He’s achy, has the chills, and feels nauseous. He needs meds—obviously—but he hasn’t been in Bludhaven very long and he hadn’t thought to buy decongestions for his new place. He also doesn’t think he can physically leave his blanket cocoon.

Luckily, his boyfriend is a speedster; he’ll be able to get meds faster than anyone and has no problem helping Dick out in his time of need. So he texts him with his needs for drugs and company and Wally is there before Dick can even completely (unintentionally) doze off.

“Hey, Babe,” Wally greets, kissing his forehead almost as soon as he walks in the door. “Woah, you’re really warm.”

“Hmm,” Dick hums, leaning into the palm on his forehead that has replaced Wally’s lips.

“How long have you been sick?” Wally asks, pulling away from Dick to shuffle through the plastic bag.

“No clue,” Dick replies. And really, he can’t remember.

The shuffling stops and Dick can feel Wally staring at him.

“What?”

Wally’s stare intensifies. “You can’t remember?”

“I’m tired,” Dick wines, toppling over onto his side. He opens one eye to find Wally still looking at him, so he thinks for a second and explains, “I thought I had a cold—um, maybe a week or two ago—but it was no big deal. Guess it came back with a vengeance.”

The shuffling starts again and this time Wally pulls out some small boxes.

“Did you bring presents?” Dick asks cheekily, sitting back up again to lean against Wally.

“Well, if Mucinex and cough drops count, then yes,” Wally says, smiling.

“Those are the best kinds of presents,” Dick jokes, taking the goods from Wally and gets to work on popping the Mucinex from its packaging.

“I’ll get you some water.” Wally pats Dick’s arm, then heads for the kitchen.

Dick opens the box without a problem, but he can’t seem to get the tablets out of the foil. He can’t rip the supposedly pre-scored rectangle to peel of the top foil. His arms feel weak and his hands are shaky. And now he’s frustrated and doesn’t want to deal with it.

“Wally,” Dick calls, suddenly very aware of how different his voice sounds due to his illness. “Come back.”

“One sec,” Wally calls. And, literally, one second later, Wally’s back, glass of water in hand. “Here.”

Dick takes the glass, trading it for the tray of Mucinex. “I can’t open it,” he explains.

Wally gives him this sad look, but he doesn’t hesitate to take it. “I don’t know why they make this packaging so difficult to open.” Wally hands the now freed pill to Dick, who immediately swallows it. “I mean, they designed it knowing tired, sick people would be using it.”

Dicks shrugs as he sips his water. He sets the still mostly-full glass on the side table as Wally takes a spot on the couch next to him.

“Wanna watch something?” Wally suggests as Dick unwraps a lemon-flavored cough drop and pops it into his mouth.

“Sure,” Dick says, then sucks on the cough drop and curls up next to Wally.

Wally pulls up Dick’s Netflix account and plays the last thing Dick was in the middle of watching. It turns out he had been watching another nature doc, but Dick has no memory of watching the first half. He wonders how feverish he actually is.

At some point, Dick’s head winds up in Wally’s lap. Wally’s hand is playing with Dick’s hair, and Dick has Wally’s other hand draped across his stomach. It’s comfortable, and Dick kind of likes this domestic moment, even if he had to be sick to get it. It’s hard being in a long-distance relationship sometimes, even if your boyfriend has super speed and you see each other regularly. But there’s nothing to be done about it. Dick won’t leave Bludhaven and Wally won’t leave college. Neither asks the other to do so, of course; it’s just an unspoken rule.

They finish the documentary, Wally pausing it when Dick’s coughing fits get too intense to hear the narration. Wally puts something else on once it finishes, but Dick keeps falling in and out of sleep too often to really follow the plotline. When he wakes up next, the TV’s off and he’s still on Wally’s lap, although he’s clinging a little tighter and there’s an extra blanket on top of him. He feels miserable and not quite himself, but he’s also glad that he’s not alone right now.

“You’re probably contagious,” Wally muses, seemingly out of nowhere.

“What? Afraid you’ll get sick?” Dick asks, a ghost of a smile on his lips. “The great Kid Flash can’t handle a cold?”

“My metabolism is too fast for me to actually get sick. I’d have symptoms for like an hour—tops,” Wally reminds him (reassures him that he isn’t putting Wally at risk of illness and as a result doesn’t need to feel guilty about asking Wally to come over). “But I’m glad the idea of you making me sick amuses you.”

“You’re so whiny.” Dick waves him off. “Why even bring it up?”

“I was just thinking you probably shouldn’t be around normal people until you’re over this,” Wally tells him. “If this bug has you feeling this terrible, it’s probably worse than your run-of-the-mill cold; not really the thing you want to push through and risk getting other people sick.”

Dick nods passively. “Yeah. I mean, I wasn’t really planning on it anyway.”

There’s a pause. And Dick knows that he doesn’t really have a reputation for consistently taking care of himself when he needs to, but Wally doesn’t have to be that shocked that Dick’s planning on taking a few sick days.

“Want me to stay here with you tonight?” Wally asks, and Dick nods, grateful he doesn’t have to ask. “Okay. It’s getting kind of late, should we order dinner or something?”

“You can order something,” Dick tells him, “but I’m not hungry.”

“Have you eaten at all today?” Wally asks.

Dick shrugs. “Yeah, a little.” The “I think” goes unsaid, but somehow Wally still picks up on it.

Wally sighs. “You should eat something. It’ll make you feel better, or at least keep your energy up.”

“Nauseous.”

“Then eat crackers or toast or whatever.”

Dick just pulls his blanket tighter around himself, his stomach protesting the mere idea. But Wally does have a point …

“Fine, I’ll have toast. But you should still order food for yourself,” Dick says.

“Later,” Wally tells him. “Plain toast or do you want something on it?”

“Plain.”

Wally goes to Dick’s small apartment kitchen, returning with Dick’s toast and a sandwich for himself a few minutes later.

Dick takes the plate Wally holds out to him. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Wally hums back. Wally sits down next to him again and starts on his whole, uncut sandwich while Dick picks up one of the pieces of toast. There are two pieces of toast in total, each cut in a diagonal. He nibbles at it and manages to swallow a few bites, but mostly he just stares at it.

Wally notices.

“You have to actually eat it for it to have any effect,” Wally tells him, sandwich already finished.

Dick is going to reply with something sarcastic about placebo effect and mindsets, but then he feels his stomach lurch. His hand goes to cover his mouth as he moves off of the couch and practically runs towards the bathroom.

He lifts the toilet lid and vomits into it, stomach convulsing so fast that he can’t get a breath in. Wally’s right behind him, rubbing his back up and down until Dick finishes.

Dick pants as he catches his breath. “Told you I was nauseous.”

“Thanks for trying,” Wally mumbles. “Mouthwash?”

“Please.”

Wally leaves to let Dick clean up in private, which was originally just going to be washing his face but turned into an entire shower. Part of it is to wash off some of the sick feeling covering his body—maybe help ease the aches in his body, too—but mostly for the steam. He won’t mention it to Wally (because it’s not that bad and he would just worry), but his chest hurts and even with the meds, he feels like his breathing is on the verge of a wheeze. He’s in there longer than he intended, but it felt good, and the steam did actually help.

Now he smells like soap and he’s in new sweats and a loose, long-sleeved shirt. Wally’s waiting for him on the couch, and the plate of toast is long gone. He curls up against Wally, half on top of him by the time he finds a comfortable spot. Wally says something about it, but Dick finds himself passing out before he can really figure out what had been said.

oOo

Wally wakes up not knowing he had fallen asleep. He’s surprised when he realizes what happened, groaning when he realizes he and Dick are still on the couch. Dick should really be in a bed. He probably needs another dose of meds, too.

There’s some noise that Wally can’t quite place, though, and it’s taken top priority on his mental list. He finally figures out that it’s coming from Dick, and that’s when he realizes what it is. Shit.

“You’re wheezing,” Wally says out loud, lifting both of them into a more upright position.

“Whu—” Dick’s confused voice breaks into a cough. He pushes himself up more and scoots off of Wally to try to break the cough, but it doesn’t seem to be helping. Wally rubs his back until it stops, and when it does, Dick is out of breath and wheezier than before.

“Gross,” Dick says, starting at the crook of his elbow where his sleeve had caught the mucus he coughed up.

“You good now?” Wally asks. Dick nods, and the wheezing is going down, so that’s good.

Dick rubs his chest. “I think I’m wheezing.”

“Yeah,” Wally agrees. “Do you have a humidifier or something?”

Dick shakes his head.

“I could go buy one?”

“No; don’t go,” Dick begs, slumping down against Wally again.

“It would only take a few minutes,” Wally tries to convince, but he doesn’t push that hard because he honestly doesn’t want to leave Dick alone either. He holds him a little tighter. “Do you want something to drink?”

“Tired.”

“Alright, c’mon,” Wally says, lifting Dick up with him. “Drugs, and then into an actual bed.”

oOo

Dick gets worse, so bad that they’re both up at four in the morning. Dick has coughed so hard that he burst a blood vessel in his throat, and he coughs up blood-streaked, yellow mucus for a good three minutes. Wally pulls Dick into the bathroom, turning the shower as hot as it will go so he can breathe in the steam, hoping it will help the coughing. He can’t tell if it does, but at least it’s something.

They try to get some more sleep after that, but it doesn’t really take so they just sit in bed together. They doze on and off for a few hours, but they never really sleep. Dick’s too uncomfortable and Wally’s too anxious.

After Dick finishes his latest coughing fit, Wally asks, “Do you want me to take you to Urgent Care when it opens?”

Dick nods, one hand pressing over the bridge of his nose. “I don’t think this is a cold.”

Wally pulls out his phone to check the hours. “They open at eight. Just one more hour, Babe, and then we can get you some medicine.”

Dick nods again, coughs some more, and then slumps against Wally.

Just one more hour. They can make it one more hour.

oOo

They’re the first ones at the urgent care, and Wally is almost embarrassed that he didn’t take Dick to the ER hours ago. He’s short of breath now, and Wally doesn’t think he’s going to catch that breath at this point. But Dick had said it wasn’t an emergency and that, while his chest hurt and breathing wasn’t easy, he was still breathing fine. Wally agreed, but still felt that twinge of guilt as he pulled his wheezing boyfriend into the Urgent Care the second the doors were unlocked.

They’re taken back almost immediately, and the entire appointment only takes about twenty minutes. By the end of it, the blood-streaked mucus was confirmed as just a broken blood vessel in Dick’s throat (no big deal), the yellow color of the mucus was a sign of a bacterial infection, and Dick’s symptoms and wheezing turned out to be from acute bacterial bronchitis.

Which means Dick gets antibiotics and an inhaler.

So Wally drags Dick with him to the closest pharmacy—which turns out to be inside of a grocery store—and they wait for the prescription to be filled. The pharmacist tells them it will be another ten minutes, so they decide to go look for junk food to pass the time. Particular, frozen junk food.

Dick is pushing (read: leaning heavily on) the cart while Wally suggests a variety of treats. He doesn’t seem to have much of an appetite and just shrugs or shakes his head at Wally’s offerings. Luckily, Wally does have an appetite and manages to fill their cart with enough food to last both of them a good week.

Wally can’t wait to get Dick back home and in bed. Seeing how exhausted this trip is making him is making Wally feel a little guilty for not dropping him at home first or using the drive-thru pharmacracy, but he didn’t want to make Dick wait any longer for the medicine than he had to. And they did need to restock their supplies because there is no way Wally is going to let Dick starve to death or go another night (hour, really) without a humidifier.

Wally keeps looking over and asking how Dick’s holding up, saying that they’re almost done. Between the wheezing and the raw throat from coughing, Dick hasn’t been very verbal this morning, but he does offer reassuring smiles to Wally. (Although, he also rests his forehead down on the cart’s handle when he doesn’t think Wally is looking—and that really helps Wally’s conscience.)

They finish up with the groceries and head back to the pharmacy area. Dick goes up alone and returns with his antibiotic and inhaler. As they make their way back towards the checkout, Wally picks up the bag to inspect the inhaler.

“You know, I think this inhaler is the last item you need to get your official nerd card,” Wally teases, walking right into the cart that a certain Dick decided to stop upon hearing the comment. “Very mature,” Wally says, rolling his eyes. Dick smirks, so Wally flicks his ear before smiling back and adding, “Asshole.”

“I think sick nerds get to be assholes,” Dick decides.

“Fair,” Wally agrees, leaning over to kiss Dick. It’s good to see Dick smile at his lame banter, especially after the morning they’ve had.

Dick kisses him back and starts pushing the cart towards the self-checkout again. “And for the record, just in case you get sick, sick geeks don’t get to be assholes.”

“I won’t get sick,” Wally says automatically. Then, after fully registering what Dick had said, “Hey, wait a minute!”

#dick grayson #wally west #birdflash #nightwing #kid flash #young justice #batman #elizabeth writes

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