#my life would be so much better if everyone just stopped acknowledging its existence <3< /div>
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I hate how my brain still âlights upâ whenever hp is brought up, and not even where its I still like the series - bc I genuinely think its meh at best, but i do still know basically all the trivia facts abt it and could talk shit on it for literal hours ive poured so much time into it. It used to be my special interest & it just sucks.
#my life would be so much better if everyone just stopped acknowledging its existence <3#like i know so much abt it and still have some aspects that shaped me and my childhood#but i want it to die#what do ppl not get abt u cannot separate jkr from her books bc the bad shit she says is fucking in her books#esp when she doesnât acknowledge it & outright defends her bigotry.#love impulse & grian but im going to bite them
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I haven't seen the second Avatar movie yet but i feel like I've collected enough information about it through your posts to appreciate it
This is extremely heartwarming thank you im glad my posting has done some good--but also pinky pinky promise your toes have barely even been dipped in the water. ATWOW was just released today with 3 hours of behind the scenes, deleted and cut content, character spotlights and movie commentary. Say what you will about the man but the lengths to which James Cameron has gone to make these films is.... beyond anything i could have imagined. Its so easy to look at the finished product and be like "oh, that was cool, moving on--" or "eh, could have been better" because... ok listen.
Tbh, i think the hyper realism works *against* the film in a way. The very specific way that is it HAS reached that point where it looks SO FUCKING GOOD. That our brains just gloss over it. It Looks Too Real. The water effects are so smooth the detail in the character design the way they advanced facial motion capture technology to dig into and PULL every little detail they POSSIBLY can from the actors performances so that we, as an audience, will look at that screen and see the Na'vi and think those are people--rather than "film asset" or "animated alien". It's so outrageously over the top that the undiscerning viewer just--it wont have impact! It requires FOCUS its requires a voluntary willingness to go acknowledge the fact that, yes, this film IS asking for your undivided attention, and yes you DO have to be willing to park your ass down and power through. And no, thats not for everybody! And thats ok! Whats key is admitting that THAT its whats stopping you! Your PREFERENCE! It has nothing to do with the technical and narrative content of the production, if it was, it would have actually bombed--not become one of these most highest grossing (unfinished!!!) Film series in human history!!! You know?!
Sorry i didnt want to keep ranting but its just. Man. This movie took thirteen years to make. 13. And they were working that Entire time (excepting slowdowns during covid, which was happening to everyone so some forgiveness is required i think)!!!! It makes me go fucking crazy that anyone can have the audacity to look at EVERYTHING and still say "no this objectively sucks" when that is OBJECTIVELY not true. Its a marvel. Its a man's fucking life's work born out of sheer, pure love and adoration for it as its own thing. He doesn't give a shit aboit what people think!!! He's making what he wants to fucking make!!!! And hes doing everything he can possibly think of and getting as much help as he possibly can to make it EVERYTHING that he Knows it can be!!!! Yes i think thats beautiful yes that makes my heart swell! Its fucking incredible!!! Hes living every storymaker's DREAM!!!! these are his oc's this is a world that has existed in his head since before he ever even started working on Titanic!!!! I could fucking explode!!!! With how incredible these goddamn movies are!!!
#horse.txt#and actually no im not sorry thank you anon i had more i needed off my chest--just know it wasn't directed At You im just#continuing the train of thought yk!!!!#brain going fucking brrrrr
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everyone says im fucking annoying. maybe i am.
3/14/23
i tried being nice and being considerate. i dont want much i just wan someone to care and acknowledge me. im tired of being the stupid one, the one who has to consider ive tried so god damn hard to make it easy for you people but every thinf i do seems to annoy you i feel like every time i try to talk to you you start getting annoyed and maybe youre right and im spoiled and im a brat i wont do that anymore, iâll try my god damn hardest to not leave a trace in this house . since being in your presence seems too much for you i try not asking for anything anymore. iâll stop complaining iâll keep everything to myself. you want that right? i wont be a bother anymore. iltt stop trying to care for you or beg for your praise and affection. i can look for it by myself. why is making a suggestion about my birthday such a big deal for you i can do whatever i want on âMYâ birthday why does me talking about it piss you off. fine i wont celebrate my goddamn rbirth and iwont celebrate it again. i wont care anymore about whattever. ill be out of your way. im sorry im even alive and pullking you dfown and im such a waste of space and im an obese trash elepphant âwho cant stop eating and whos spoiled and a bitch with no manners and cant do anything right i cant do anything at all and i should never have fucking existed i keep wishing that i nevere existed. every second of every day i wish you to be happy and to just let me not exist anymore.
i cant keep wishing because nothing ever fucking happens i wish i just died when i could, every near death experience i hope it killed me and i hope i never s here. i hate being in a place where everyone and everything i do is considered wrong and im always wrong and always bad and always a bitch whos spoiled and a child. i want to die. and its not a joke anymore. i just want someone to love me and understand that i make shit thats not good and that i dont always say the right things and that im always trying my best to be considerate. but being considerate is not enough for everyone. im already ugly and im already fat and stupid if i just died everyone would forget about me in a week and in a yer everything will be better for everyone becuase i am just a dumb rock thats a burden to them and if i go then my sister will have her oen room and all my parents love and they can finally give her the care she deserves. if i go D could finally be happy with her new friends and let go of our group to be herself. F and H will be fine . E and H and A will be too. im not a big part of their lives, C and A will have forgotten me by now. and my parents have one less problem now, they can focus on my sister, and after she moves out theyll be free from the horrible kid they have. ill be free from putting myself esteem as high as how others apreciate me. because everything i am is what evereybody else thinks of me. and im nothing no one will remember me in a year . i die now. i wish i died now i wish i just fell asleep and died. im so sorry to the people whos lives i disturbed i hope you guys will ignore all my shit and all the crap i put you through it must have been so so annoying. i wish i died back then. and i wish i die here and maybe i can gain enough courage this year. who knows i sure hope i do. i dont think i can handle life. to the new friends i made im sorry you had to put up with me . im really sorry mom and dad im sorry your second kid is a piece of shit who cant do anything and always humiliates you and annoys you .. i wish i wasnt here too and i wish i was dead so long ago. i hope truly one day i can finally go through with something and maybe thats the only thing i can get right..
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I finally figured out why it feels like Supernatural murdered a unicorn (AKA why you need to STOP telling me to watch Black Sails)
Iâll start by saying, everything everyone else has been saying CERTAINLY bothers me:Â
- the queer-baiting - the bury your queers - the undermining of Deanâs character arc - the wasted opportunity for a certain kind of overall narrative closure - the flat out disrespect to Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles
 All of that bothers me tremendously.Â
But there has been something else rather ineffable about this that has left a horrible taste in my mouth that I couldnât quite pin down until last night. Bear with me, if you will, because this will require some set-up.Â
*** This is not the first show to ever disappoint me in a spectacular fashion, nor will it be the last, I suspect. And one of the ways Iâve always coped with that disappointment was to remind myself that there will be other stories, other characters, other chances to get it right. (âItâ being any number of things from just pure narrative emotional coherence to not burying your queers to not stringing along your queer audience and then yelling fuck you to them on the way out)Â
But somehow that assurance -- that there will be other stories, other characters, other chances to get it right -- has rung particularly hollow in this instance, and I couldnât quite put my finger on why until yesterday.Â
I kept asking myself, why do I still have this feeling, deep in the pit of my stomach, like something was lost here that can never be recovered?Â
Because something was lost here that I am doubtful can ever be recovered, and I donât think Iâve seen anyone else talking about this aspect of it at all.Â
***
A few months ago, TV critic Maureen Ryan did a great interview piece with Mike Schur (of Parks & Rec/The Good Place) discussing the death of long-form TV in the streaming era. They explore how the longer seasons and longer runs of traditional broadcast/cable TV provided an opportunity to tell particular kinds of stories that you simply canât when seasons are 8-10 episodes and series typically run 2-4 seasons (thanks Netflix).
One key thing weâve all lost in this new era of highly condensed TV storytelling (and of prestige TV narrative styles)? The traditional (several seasonâs long) slow-burn/will-they-wonât-they romance. Not only is there simply no longer the time or space to write such romances, it has also come to be seen as hacky, manipulative, cheap, artistically impoverished, low-brow, a embarrassing vestige of the era before TV became artâą.Â
Everybody is trying to be Fleabag now. No one wants to be Frasier. (âItâs really more like a 10 hour movieâ they all like to brag)
Obviously TV still has romances, even âdrawn outâ romances. But âdrawn outâ in 2020 is like 2-3 seasons, maybe. More commonly itâs like half a season. Take Schittâs Creek. The number of episodes between when David and Patrick first meet and when they first kiss? Seven. Seven episodes. Half a season. If you watched it live, it took less than 2 months for them to move from introducing that dynamic to consummating it. And Iâm not bagging on Schittâs Creek; I think the David/Patrickâs story is very lovely and well-written.Â
But Niles & Daphne (Fraiser) had to wait 7 years and over 150 episodes before they finally got there. Josh & Donna (The West Wing) had to wait 6+ years, and 145 episodes. Mulder & Scully (The X-Files) had to wait 7 seasons and 143 episodes. Booth & Bones had to wait...you see where I am going with this.Â
And my point is (and I canât believe I never realized this explicitly until now): there has NEVER been a queer slow-burn/will-they-wonât-they romance of that type on TV ever. EVER.Â
Iâm going to say that again, because I think it bares repeating:
There has never been a queer, slow-burn/will-they-wonât-they romance that fits the 100-150 episode paradigm of delayed gratification on TV.Â
Not ever. Â
I canât think of ONE example Not a single, solitary one. And I know queer TV pretty well. Arguably the closest weâve ever come is Legend of Korra, and that ran 50 episodes, a THIRD of the length of old school will-they-wonât-theys like Booth & Bones or Josh & Donna.Â
Queer people have had a fair number of canonical romances on TV by now, even fairly long running ones. But we never got a primary/front-and-center romance that you had to root for for 100+ episodes before you got any kind of canonical consummation.
That is a particular kind of TV experience that queer people and queer characters were just 100% shut out of until it was too late. And because of how the TV landscape has changed in the last 10 years, I donât know that that opportunity will ever come back around in our lifetimes.Â
***
Dean and Castiel are/were a legacy of an earlier era of TV, an era that still contained the possibility for a will-they-wonât-they of that particular mold. There were other shows that could have also filled this gap at one time - Rizzoli & Isles, OUAT, House MD, etc. But one by one all of them were killed off, their queer romances unrequited, until Supernatural was the only one of itsâ generation left standing.Â
And they should have acknowledged that they were a species about to become extinct.Â
There are plenty of other valid and compelling reasons Supernatural should have gone full Destiel, donât get me wrong.
A) It would have been the most emotionally satisfying ending to the series and to those characters (and that would have been reason enough).Â
B) It would have stopped the manipulative queer-baiting of the (disproportionately queer) fanbase (and that would have been reason enough).Â
C) It would have been queer representation of middle-aged men, of bi men, of queers who came to their queerness later in life (and any/all of those would have been reason enough).Â
D) It could have been a glorious subversion of the bury your queers trope, considering how often theyâve died and been resurrected (and that would have been reason enough).Â
But point E) on this list is the reason this one hurts in a singular way that no one even appears to be acknowledging.Â
Almost all of the other wrongs and missed opportunities contained in this Supernatural debacle have the possibility of being rectified (at least to a degree) elsewhere. I can and I likely will get more bi male characters from TV as time goes on. I can and likely will get more middle-aged queer characters. I can and likely will get more queer characters coming to their queerness later in life, and starting queer romances later in life. I can and likely will get more queer characters who arenât killed cheaply and prematurely. I can and likely will get more genre TV shows with sprawling myth arc plots that are resolved in a coherent, satisfying way. I can and likely will get Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles involved in other projects that value their work and their talents.Â
All of those other things are at the very least POSSIBLE, and many are even likely.Â
But a queer 100-150 episode slow-burn romance a la Mulder & Scully or Niles & Daphne or Booth & Bones? That is the one baton Supernatural dropped spectacularly that no one else even has the possibility of picking up again for the foreseeable future. (They donât even write those types of romances for heterosexuals anymore!)Â
Seriously. It was a TV unicorn. And rather than letting it run wild and free, they stabbed it with a rusty nail.Â
***
Given the monumental shifts in the TV landscape that have occurred in the last decade, I donât know that TV will ever go back to the slow-burn/will-they-wonât-they romance spanning 100-150 episodes. Today it is a miracle if you can get ANY show to last longer than 50 episodes in the first place.Â
And that is the piece of this that makes it feel (to me) like they murdered a unicorn. Â
Because queer people have gotten a lot of things from TV, and they will get a lot more as time goes on. But that one? That one could very well be a totally extinct species.
That is the larger missed opportunity here that has left this feeling especially hollow and destructive. That is the thing that makes me balk when people tell me to go watch Black Sails or Pose or whatever other prestige TV show is doing this representation âbetter.â Because thatâs not really the loss I am mourning here. I KNOW there is âbetterâ representation elsewhere. Â
But the will-they-wonât-they/slow-burn romance is a qualitatively unique thing that queer people literally just never got. Ever. There is no substitute, no alternate, no other show I can turn to with that kind of build-up and pay-off for a queer couple, and there probably wonât be in my lifetime. Not unless the TV industry undergoes another monumental evolution similar to the streaming revolution that shifts the incentives back to telling those types of stories again.Â
All those shows you want me to displace Supernatural with? None of them can give me the one thing I uniquely wanted (and could have gotten) from Supernatural. THAT ALTERNATE SHOW DOESNâT EXIST. It doesnât exist. And I have no reason to hope it will ever exist in my lifetime.Â
So stop telling me to look somewhere else; you donât understand what made this one a unicorn.Â
***
Addendum: The only other possible show that could perhaps fill this gap is Itâs Always Sunny in Philadelphia (re: Mac/Dennis). But Iâm hesitant to say it exactly meets that criteria, for a number of reasons:
1 - Itâs far less serialized relative to Supernatural and (except for a handful of stand-alone episodes) very little of the story is grounded specifically in Dennis/Macâs romantic dynamic (unlike SPN, where it is absolutely central to much of the narrative)
2 - IASIP is fundamentally satirically in nature/tone which makes it much harder to have genuine romantic pathos (not impossible, but harder)Â
3 - All the characters on IASIP are fundamentally crummy people who you arenât exactly supposed to root for. Which doesnât mean a romance between two of them canât have its value/charm/worth but itâs not the same as when it is between characters who unequivocally deserve nice things/happy endings
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Wishful Dreaming
In which I pretend Part 3 of Inazumaâs story doesnât exist and everyone is alive before shit goes down. Yes, people who read this, itâs time for best friend headcanons/drabbles/whatever the hell this is with Teppei. Honestly, itâs just no thoughts head empty right now and I might have gone off tangent a lot.
(And by a lot, I mean the majority of this piece, probably... by the way, credits to @streimiv and @myuni-moon for making my brain be hyper focused on Self Aware Cult Genshin... I canât get it out of my head as of right now.)
Enjoy, even if itâs never going to be beta-read by anyone and I will never go back to edit this even if I find mistakes in this later on... and I also donât know where my brain went for this, but whatâs done is done.Â
Iâm not even sure if I did his personality correctly, ahaha... (ïŒ^Ï^)
(Iâm going to project my denial in this, so please know it might be wince inducing and incredibly self-indulgent.)
The sun is bright at this time of day, the gentle breeze flowing through the tranquil lands of Inazuma, leaving those who are experiencing the nice morning in a blissful escape from its current reality.Â
...much like a young foreigner who had left their current abode, leaving behind a note for their caretakers to see as they wander around the land of Eternity for some true fresh air and peace of mind away from the group that had more or less made their life a little too suffocating as of late.
It is also incredibly lonely in there, as they come to understand that no one (for the most part) look at them like they were a regular human... like they were them.
So they now wander, taking in the rarity of solitude that does not come as easily as one might think. Inazuma is beautiful, even if they know that the peace they see around these parts are but a veil that shields the horrible reality going on around them.
(They know what was happening outside the city, outside the teapot they were living in since they were brought here. Theyâve experienced it happening before, many times in fact. They know what will happen, and theyâre determined to change it. They just need to find a certain someone, and then theyâre set.)
Meeting Teppei was something you didnât really expect all that much, considering you knew he should be still a part of the logistic division of the Resistance Army and would be busy in their current base that was all the way to Yashiori Island.
Yet by sheer luck, or by fate, you meet the good fellow on Narukami Island and had managed to make a pretty good friendship with him over the course of coincidental meetings.
Youâve come to learn a few things about the young man, and it was that he was a pretty trusting guy, didnât even think twice of being friends with you... which was a little worrisome, considering what happened in the actual storyline.
Thatâs okay though, youâll make nothing happens to him... he is one of your only true friends in this world, after all.
âTeppei.â
They call to him as the Resistance Samurai turned his head away from the sight of the Tenshukaku to them.
âIs there anything you wish for? I mean, if you could have one wish granted, anything you want, what would it be?â
The young man looked rather confused at them, before they briefly clarified that they were just curious. As much as they enjoy the peacefulness of silence, they wanted to know what he really wanted... wondering if he really wanted a Vision, for the acknowledgement of the Gods.
âWhat would I wish for...â
The young man was quiet for a while, no doubt mulling it over before smiling when he comes to an answer, his head lifting to look at the glimmering stars.
âI would wish for the war to end... for the Sakoku Decree and Vision Hunt Decree to be abolished so people wonât have to suffer anymore.â
âReally? Not a Vision, or something like that?â
âWell, having a Vision would be nice, but thinking about it... I think itâs better if everyone is happy. A lot of people are suffering, and even if I did get a Vision, itâs still pretty difficult to win the war against the Shogunate.â
They could only hum quietly in understanding after that, not really certain what else to ask him before he gives them the same question.Â
What do they wish for?
To go home. They would have said, but they chose not to because they knew there was probably little chance for them to be allowed to go home... Their âacolytesâ are rather over-protective and notably possessive towards them, probably rampaging around Inazuma right now in search of them.
Well, they at least know what theyâre going to do once they inevitably find them.
âIsnât it time you should head back to your camp, Teppei?â
âHuh? Oh, right! Itâs getting late! Then, if I have time, Iâll see you again!â
And heâs off in a rush, disappearing when he turned around the rocky walls and out of their sight. At the same time as he left, the bushes behind them rustle, and a frantic Zhongli appears with Venti following behind... both relaxed significantly once they saw them in perfect condition.
âWeâve been looking everywhere for you, Your Grace. Itâs dangerous for you to go outside on your own like that.â
âPlease donât worry us like that again.â
They immediately take to their sides, quickly ushering them to head back to the Teapot before they stopped them in their tracks.Â
âYour Grace?â
âI need to do something. Will the both of you accompany me for this?â
...and by the following morning, an official announcement is made to all of Inazuma with the abolishment of both the Sakoku Decree and Vision Hunt Decree.Â
Teppei is rushing over to them with a beaming smile on his face when they meet again that noon, the young man happily shares the good news with them while they simply smiled and nodded along with what he said even if they knew the reason behind it.
They donât tell him anything, nor mention that it was thanks to him that it ended... well, what he doesnât know wonât hurt him.
Extra, because why not:
It becomes a frequent part of your days now that the War in Inazuma was over. Hanging out with Teppei as often as you could, granted youâd have a few people trailing in the shadows at all times, watching over you so you donât pull the same stunt again.
You have to spend a bit of time giving warning glares behind you whenever Teppei mentions the cold chills that makes his bones shiver despite the relatively warm weather.Â
When the two of you get roped up into a bit of trouble (whether by lingering Fatui grunts, stray Ronins or local Treasure Hoarders seeking to rob you), Teppei would always jump in between you and them, saying heâll protect you as he holds his spear (that he brings with him out of habit).
...you thinks itâs endearing with how heâs trying to be brave, as you can see his hands shake just a tad bit due to the numbers.
But as much as you want to let him have his moment, you prefer that your friend doesnât get himself hurt and therefore skillfully lead him away from the danger while the rest (your cult) dealt with them.
When you feel like the divine treatment is starting to get too overwhelming, and youâre feeling a little too lonely, you always make your way to Teppei who is there to provide comfort even if you never really talked about whatâs troubling you.
Your friendship with Teppei is strong, even if you rarely talk about yourself to him and how heâs told you practically everything about himself.
Thereâs just something about that trust that bring you a lot of comfort... it gave a different feeling compared to Zhongli or Fischlâs kind of trust... it was warmer, and felt more like home.
Youâre also very adamant in keeping him away from the whole cult business, not wanting him to think of you like how the others did... you donât want to lose that friendship that practically kept you sane in this world.
The amount of times you have to keep reminding your cult to leave him be is absurd, and as much as they protest about him, the fact youâre upset at them for that is enough to get them to stop.
...for a while, at least. They go at it again for a while when Teppei does something they donât like until you actually snapped at them. They stopped bothering him after that.
If Teppei does eventually find out about the cult, which will most likely happen because of Kokomi, you would be genuinely terrified in the beginning of it until he gives you proper reassurance that it doesnât change anything.
Now heâs allowed to see you in the Teapot, often visiting with curious snacks he finds and occasionally sleeping over when you are feeling particularly lonely.
Overall, a very pleasant friendship to have. Being one of the few you can really be open with and not be concerned about how youâre viewed as.
Wholesome boy will always have your back whenever you need him... even if he is a little intimidated by the Raiden Shogun and the other intimidating acolytes that are a part of your cult.
#self aware genshin#genshin cult stuff#genshin impact x reader#yandere genshin x reader#I believe in platonic friendships#I have no braincells left#it was 12am when I started writing this#I barely slept before that too#idk what to tag honestly#tagging is hard#*dramatically screaming*
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hi ok sooooo i have asked numerous writers for this request because i thrive on angst and fluff đđđ so here goes: a love triangle between draco, harry, and a ravenclaw reader. the readerâs been known to be head over heels in love with draco and giving him origami hearts everyday for a year or two, which he only throws in his trash bin. he usually just ignores her and finds her gestures annoying and laughable. one day, he goes too far with his rebuttals. the reader, heartbroken and realizing she had no chance at all, stopped pursuing him altogether. for the next few weeks, he found himself weirded out that he hadnât received any origami hearts. while emptying his trashbin, he discovers that when you unfold the hearts, there were little notes of encouragement and sweet letters. just as he was about to confront her, he notices the reader folding something on her table during class and thinking it was finally another origami heart for him. however, it was a butterfly, and she handed it to harry instead. Jajdjeioa PLS MAKE IT ANGSTY AND FLUFFY ITâS UP TO U ON HOW IT WILL END BUT WOULD BE CUTE IF HARRY MADE THE PAPER BUTTERFLY FLAP ITS WINGS THO
Ok sorry for the cliche and long request, take your time and stay safe. I enjoy your writing sm đ„ș
Butterflies and Paper Hearts || D.M, H.P
Requested: Yes Pairing: Draco Malfoy x fem!reader , a bit of Harry Potter x reader but not really Warnings: ANGST, swearing, Summary: Draco doesnât like you and tries to let you down multiple times, when it finally does work he feels regret wash over him.
WORDS : 3864
First of all, Iâm so sorry for taking so long to get to this. I read the request when it first came in and I loved it but Iâve been struggling to conceptualize it, and then I fell into a bit of a sad spiral because of all the other stuff thatâs been going on in my life, which is why I took me so long to complete it. Second of all, I had to amend the idea a bit to make it work for me, e.g I wrote this in an AU where Voldemort doesnât exist because I hate mr. no-nose, and I didnât make the hearts go on for years. Third of all, thank you so much for this request! Itâs a lovely concept and I really enjoyed writing it <3
~~~
Butterflies.
Flying. Soaring. Alive.
The first time that Draco had ever noticed you was in your fourth year. You were sat at the Ravenclaw table and immersed in a discussion with Padma Patil, one that had you laughing so hard that you were throwing your head back and wiping tears from your eyes. The sight had knocked the wind out of his lungs, like someone had just punched him in the stomach, and he felt the weirdest sensation in his gut.
It was butterflies erupting.
~~~
The first time that you noticed Draco was in your fifth year. Ravenclaws and Slytherins were in Charms together, as usual, and youâd accidentally sat next to him instead of Padma.
âDude, youâll never guess what happened this morn-â You stop speaking the second you notice that the person beside you is, in fact, not your best friend but rather a scowling Slytherin. âYouâre not Padma.â You frown.
âNo shit.â He rolls his eyes, âWhat gave it away? The green robes or the blond hair?â
âThe snarky attitude.â You instantly reply and he looks taken aback for a second, âWho are you anyway?â
If youâd thought he looked shocked before, you were wrong. âExcuse me?â
âWho are you? What was so confusing about that sentence?â You raise your eyebrows, âClearly not a Ravenclaw.â
He scoffs at your remark but answers anyway, âIâm Draco? Draco Malfoy?â He asks, a pretentious tone lacing his voice. âWeâve shared this lesson together since you got here last year?â
âStalker much?â You ask with a smile and he rolls his eyes. âAnyway, nice to meet you Draco, Iâm Y/N.â
âI know.â He replies simply as he takes the hand that youâd outstretched. âSome of us pay attention.â
âMhmm.â
âSo what happened this morning?â
âWhat?â You furrow your eyebrows in confusion.
âYou were about to tell me about what happened this morning.â
âOh.â You respond in embarrassment and watch as his smirk grows.
âWhat? Am I not worthy of your great story?â
âItâs not that, I just donât think itâll interest you.â
âTry me.â
âRight, whatâs all this then?â Padma asks as she stops in front of the desk with a confused expression.
You giggle at her obvious confusion, âI accidentally sat here instead of by our normal spot. Do you know this miserable boy?â
âBetter than Iâd like to admit.â She responds sourly before turning a harsh gaze toward Draco, âDaddyâs boy.â
âWench.â He responds and she rolls her eyes.
âAre you coming to sit with me?â Padma asks as she turns back to you and you shake your head.
âMaybe tomorrow, Iâd like to sit here and annoy him today.â
âI cannot possibly stand in the way of that, youâre doing the whole grade a great service.â Padma replies with a laugh as she goes to sit a few desks away from you.
~~~
Day 1 - 1 Heart
Hearts.
Fragile things.
Itâs the next Monday when you have Charms again, and you decide to sit by Dracoâs desk in hopes of him coming to sit beside you.
âWhat on earth are you doing?â Draco asks as he peers over your shoulder before sitting in the chair beside you.
âOrigami.â You respond with a smile and he raises an eyebrow toward you. âThat thing where you fold pieces of paper into shapes?â You ask and he nods in understanding.
He takes his seat with a sigh, âSounds boring.â
âEverything sounds boring to you.â You roll your eyes before finishing up the origami heart.
âTrue.â
You give it a once over and smile in satisfaction before turning to Draco and handing it out him. âHere.â
Hearts. Absurdly fragile things, Draco thinks as he feels his own heart begin to race. Here you are, nonchalantly handing him a piece of paper, and he feels like his entire world is collapsing in on itself at the gesture. Y/N, giving me a heart.
He rolls his eyes and takes the object from you with a scowl, âWhy are you giving this to me?â
You shrug, âYouâre not completely intolerable, youâve earned it.â
He smirks, âCareful, people might start to think that you like me.â
You smile, âMaybe I do.â
Your smile reminds him of butterflies- bright, fluttering, inviting, warm, beautiful.
He rolls his eyes and makes a big show of tossing the origami heart into a nearby bin, and you fight to hide the hurt hidden behind your eyes. But what you donât know is that at the end of the Charms lesson, once everyone else has left, Draco goes into that very same bin and pulls out the heart.
Day 20 - 20 Hearts
âAre you still doing this?â He asks in annoyance as you hand him another origami heart, the same way you have, every morning, for the last twenty days.
âYup. Iâve got no reason to stop.â You shrug with a small smile.
âHow about the fact that I think theyâre stupid and I donât like them?â
âYouâre under the misconception that I care about your feelings.â
He chuckles and brings his face down to yours till youâre inches apart. âI think you care a lot more about my feelings than youâd like to admit.â
You swallow and look away from him, trying to avoid the warm feeling thatâs creeping up your neck and settling into your skin. âYou wish blondie.â
âMhmm.â He replies absent-mindedly as he turns into the classroom, drops the heart into the nearest bin, and sits in his seat.
You try to look unbothered as you go to sit beside him, ignoring the disappointment thatâs churning your insides.
Day 35 - 35 Hearts
You watch as Draco inspects the origami heart from the Slytherin table, hoping that he might open it this time.
âHeâs going to break your heart, Y/N.â Padma whispers from her seat beside you in the Great Hall.
You shake your head and let your eyes drift away from the blond at the Slytherin table. âHe wouldnât do that, heâs a lot better than you think he is.â
âY/N, Iâve known him a lot longer than you have and I know that this isnât going to end well.â
âAnd why not?â You ask defensively.
Because youâre a muggle-born, Padma wants to say, but she knows that it isnât her place to crush your dreams so harshly. She shakes her head instead and smiles sympathetically, âNevermind, Iâm sorry for overstepping.â
You donât notice, too busy talking to Padma, that Draco tucks the little piece of paper into his robe with a small smile.
Day 50 - 50 Hearts
You donât exactly know when you caught feelings for Draco, itâs like all the small moments just bunched up together, but you know that it wasnât your intention. The hearts, the sitting together in charms, it had all just started as friendly gestures in an attempt to get the scowling boy to befriend you, but somewhere along the line things just got too messy.
And now, youâre utterly infatuated with him.
You take a deep breath as you pull out the small box from your bag containing Dracoâs Christmas present. The train comes to a half at platform 9 and 3/4, and you quickly grab your belongings before rushing out of the train in order to catch the blond before he goes home for the holidays.
You catch him by the door and you smile at him. âIâve got something for you.â
âAnother paper heart?â He raises his eyebrows with a smirk and you shake your head.
âNo, itâs something else actually.â You hand the box to him, wrapped in a mix of dark green and navy blue paper, and he accepts it with a skeptical glance.
âWhat is it?â
âA Christmas present.â You laugh and he nods sheepishly in acknowledgement.
âOh.â He rubs the back of his neck, âI didnât get you anythingâŠâ
âI didnât want anything.â You smile again, âThatâs not why I got you a gift.â
You watch as he nods again and looks out the window. âThen why did you get me the gift?â
âCause weâre friends.â You shrug and he swallows.
If he were any other person then the erupting butterflies in his stomach would be an obvious sign to pull you closer and hug you till both your arms hurt. If you werenât a muggle-born witch, and his parents werenât watching him intently from outside the train, then this would be the moment that he seized to let your friendship blossom into more.
âWeâre not friends.â He spits out coldly, and youâre taken aback by the sudden harsh tone.
âOkayâŠâ You reply quietly, âAcquaintances?â
âFor fuck sakeâŠâ He mumbles with a sigh, âY/N, I donât like you, at all. Youâre annoying, youâre pushy, and worst of all, youâre a mudblood.â
Harsh words, words that taste of venomous denial, are running out of his mouth before he can stop them. The look of astonishment and sadness on your face has regret dancing on his tastebuds like the taste of tar, and he struggles to push that feeling down.
âYou donât mean thatâŠâÂ
âI meant every word, and I can repeat it if that empty skull of yours didnât catch it.â
You shake your head and look down at the ground, trying to blink away tears, and he nods as he turns to finally leave the train.
âDraco.â You choke out and he whips his head back angrily.
âWhat?â
âI forgot to give you this today.â You whisper as you hand him his origami heart and push your way past him toward the platform.
You feel sick, you feel sad, you feel disappointed. Thereâs a twisting and churning thatâs going on in your stomach but itâs not like normal, itâs the opposite of what youâve felt every time before.
Itâs butterflies dying.
He watches you walk away as a lump forms in his throat.
Day 65 - 0 Hearts
Draco walks into charms half-expecting you to be sitting somewhere else, and half-hoping that youâre sitting in your usual seat beside him. He didnât open the Christmas present, too much guilt weighing him down, and he hopes that you donât give him any more paper hearts.
He feels an odd combination of anguish and comfort when he sees that you havenât moved, and goes to sit beside you in silence. You turn to him and smile but say nothing to him, not then and not for the rest of the lesson. When you get up to leave he half-expects you to drop an origami heart on his books, and disappointment consumes when you donât.
Day 75 - 0 Hearts
âMorning.â He mumbles as he finds a spot beside you, as usual.
âMorning.â You respond.
Thatâs all the conversation that you two have now. A part of you misses the way the two of you had been before, easy-going, sarcastic, in-sync, but an even bigger part of you understands why that had to be over. He could never allow himself to love someone like you without resentful undertones of disgust and shame, and you could never settle for someone who doesnât love you regardless of your blood purity.
âY/NâŠâ Someone whines from ahead and you look up from your desk to find Harry stood in front of you.
You laugh at his childish behaviour, âYes Harry?â
âPlease help me with this assignment?â
âNo.â You respond bluntly, just to mess with him, and he pouts at you.
âPlease?â You shake your head, âPlease?â You shake your head again and he pouts at you hopelessly, âPleaseeee?â He begs once more and drags out his plea.
You laugh once again and nod, âOkay fine.â
âThank you so much!â He exclaims excitedly and leans over the desk to hug you. You shake your head and giggle in his arms, and Draco has to look away to ignore the looming feeling of jealousy consuming him.
Day 103 - 1 Heart
âSo, I know that weâre not friends or anythingâŠâ You start as you turn to Draco, âBut Valentineâs Day is tomorrow and I canât resist the urge to give you one more.â
He furrows his eyebrows in confusion but feels realisation wash over him as you hand him an origami heart, one thatâs bigger than all the rest youâve given him in the past. He nods and takes it from you, trying to pretend as though his heart isnât swelling at the gesture. âThank you.â He responds curtly before the two of you revert back to silence.
Itâs only when heâs alone in his dorm room that night that he actually looks at the origami heart. Itâs red, and youâve written his name across it in cursive. He runs his fingers along it and allows himself to unfurl it, feeling shocked to find words written inside it.
I know you never read these, so Iâm probably wasting my time, but I wanted to say that I miss you.
Ridiculous right? I even feel stupid writing it. But itâs the truth, I do. I miss your smile, and your laugh. I miss the way you would scribble nonsense in my book to distract me from the lesson, and I miss the way youâd get so frustrated when I did the same. I miss the way youâd make fun of me for being a nerd, and try not to look proud when you outdid me in tests.
I miss your jokes too, even though they werenât really funny, and the way youâd always forget your textbook so we were forced to share and we had an excuse to talk. I miss you a bunch, even though I know that you donât miss me nearly as much.
Happy Valentineâs Day pretty boy,
I wish you couldâve loved me the way that I love you.
He quickly jumps off his bed and walks toward his trunk. He pulls out the Christmas gift that he never opened and another small box that heâd used to store all of your origami hearts, and begins to go through them all.
Note 1 - Youâre weird but I like you. Very defensive, I hope that I can knock down those barriers. Note 2 - Your hair looked really nice today, made you look like a famous movie star who pays people to do it for him. Do you secretly have a hairdresser in your room? Note 3 - Your eyes are a strange colour, a cross between blue and grey, it reminds me of the sky before a really pretty rainstorm.
He opens every heart, from the first to the last, processing every last compliment that youâd ever written. With every word he reads, he feels a mixture of love and guilt wash over him simultaneously. Love for you- because youâre kind, and funny, and beautiful, and way too good for him- and guilt- for treating you so horribly because he was scared, when all he had wanted to do was kiss you, and hold your hand.
9 - Iâm oddly very proud of you for beating me in the latest Charms assignment, you might actually be the bigger nerd between us both. 20 - I know you hate that I call you pretty boy but thatâs what you are, youâre unnecessarily pretty! 26 - Youâre very funny when youâre not trying to be. Your jokes are horrendous, but your impersonations and quips can be quite amusing. 35 - Iâm starting to think that you donât read these. No, Iâm sure that youâre not reading these. Doesnât matter though, thereâs so many things that I love about you and I think Iâll explode if I donât put them down somewhere. 47 - Iâve fallen very hard for you, it might be your dumb laugh or the way you tickle me whenever you walk into class, but I didnât know that you could feel this much for a person. Damn you pretty boy. 50 - Padma thinks youâre no good for me, I agree, but I donât care. I love you too much to give you up.
The last of the collection is the Christmas gift that you gave him. Heâd refrained from opening it out of shame, feeling unworthy of a gift from you after being so cold to you that day on the train. He unwraps it and finds another paper heart, with a silver engraved ring above it. The words, âpretty boyâ Â are inscribed into the ring and he smiles at the sight, a few tears sliding down his face.
Pretty boys like you deserve a little more than paper hearts, I hope you like it.
He slips the ring on before getting off his bed, walking to his desk, and pulling out a piece of paper.
Day 104 - 1 Heart.
Itâs Valentineâs Day and his palms are sweaty, for the first time in his life Draco has sweaty palms because of a girl.
Youâre in your usual seat and youâre folding another piece of paper. His heart soars at the sight of you so focused, that goofy smile you always have whenever something demands a lot of your attention, and your hands working delicately against the edges of the paper. He stops in front of you.
He clears his throat and you look up at him, startled by the sudden interruption. âOh, Draco, morning.â You respond with a small smile, obviously still apprehensive about him.
âHappy Valentineâs Day Y/N.â He smiles back and slides an origami heart onto the desk, beside the butterfly that you seem to have been folding.
âWhatâs this?â You ask in confusion as you pick it up and inspect it.
âYouâve made enough to be able to tell by now.â He deadpans and you laugh softly with a nod.
âItâs a paper heart.â You smile up at him, âDid you make this for me?â
âMaybe.â He responds curtly as he slides into his chair beside you, but you catch the shy smile heâs harboring.
âThank you.â He nods, âI couldâve done better though.â
He scoffs, âThatâs not a fair comparison.â
âAnd why not?â You raise your eyebrows and he chuckles as he rolls his eyes.
âRead the note inside and youâll know why.â
âThereâs a note inside?â You exclaim excitedly as you start to unfold the heart and he yanks it out of your hands.
âNo! Read it later when Iâm, like, far away from you.â He says defensively and you furrow your eyebrows but nod in agreement.
âAlright, Iâll read it after school.â You take it back from him and put it in your robe. You resume folding the butterfly and smile when you see that itâs done.
Draco watches intently as you finish it, expecting you to hand it to him once itâs finished, and furrows his eyebrows in confusion when you set it down and scan the classroom.
âHarry!â You exclaim as you watch him walk from the door and toward you with a bright smile.
âY/N.â He responds once heâs standing in front of you. âIs this for me?â He asks once he sees the butterfly on your desk, and Draco is about to scoff at the question but you nod your head eagerly.
âOf course!â You pick it up and give it to Harry, watching excitedly as he opens it up and reads the note inside.
Draco watches in silent envy as Harry laughs, at whatever youâve written in the note, and brings his lips down to your forehead. âThank you so much butterfly, I love it.â
You smile proudly and your eyes light up as you watch Harry cast a charm to make the butterfly flap itâs wings and fly down to his desk. âWhen are you going to teach me that? Iâve been asking for weeks now!â
âIf I taught you then I wouldnât have anything to impress you with.â He smirks as he leaves to his desk and you shake your head with a laugh.
âYou two seem to be quite friendly nowâŠâ Draco mumbles, trying to hide the jealousy in his voice. The butterflies that had been erupting in his stomach earlier that morning being trampled to death by Harry.
âYeah, weâve been-â You cut yourself off with a gasp as you catch a glimpse of the ring that you bought Draco, âYouâre wearing it!â
He smiles at your excitement, thinking about how such simple expressions from you leave butterflies fluttering in his stomach. âYes.â He chuckles and you smile.
âI thought you didnât like it.â You respond softly and he feels his heart break.
âNo, not at all. I just didnât want other people getting jealous.â
He smiles at you and you feel that familiar bubbling in your stomach, like rosh bushes blooming at the sight of the sun, but you canât exactly pinpoint the feeling.
Later that day when youâre sat beneath a tree and reading Dracoâs letter, you know exactly what that feeling is.
~~~
Y/N.
Beautiful, funny, kind, observant, utterly perfect Y/N.
Iâve spent the last three hours trying to come up with a reason for you to forgive me, I couldnât come up with one. I also tried to find an excuse, any really, that could justify my horrid actions over the last few weeks, and I couldnât find one. So instead, I settled on just telling you the truth.
Iâm a coward.
Youâre probably laughing right now and thinking, âHeâs only realising this now?â, and the answer is yes. Iâm not sure if youâve noticed but youâre the brighter one between us two. It took me 103 more days than you, to realise what you knew the first day you made me a paper heart; the two of us are meant to be.
That sounds a bit cheesy doesnât it? Doesnât matter anyway, because in note 12 you said that you enjoy my cheesy anecdotes. Iâm not sure why though, Iâm not particularly sure why you love anything about me when youâre you, but I guess some mysteries can never be solved.
Iâm sorry for those words I said that day on the train, I didnât mean them. I was scared of what my parents would think if I fell for a muggle-born witch, but I forgot one important thing; it doesnât matter. All that matters is the fact that Iâve never been as happy as when Iâm with you. If I could spend the rest of my life getting these perfect little paper hearts from you, listening to your sweet laugh, bothering you when youâre trying to get work done and buying you rings that match the ones on my hands, then Iâd be over the moon.
Iâm sorry for taking so long to tell you this; I love you Y/N. I know that I havenât earned a second chance but if by some miracle you decide to grant me one then I promise to make it worth your while.
I would pick the stars out of the sky for you Y/N, if only you asked me to.
Happy Valentineâs Day from your pretty boy.
You look up from the letter and wipe the tears that had managed to escape, before getting off the grass and running back into the castle. When you find Draco eating dinner in the Great Hall, and see him flash you a shy smile, you instantly know what that feeling from earlier was.
It was butterflies reviving.
~~~
get added to my taglist <33
taglist : @purpleskymalfoy, @astoria-malfcy, @dreaming-about-fanfictions, @dracoscene
~~~
Iâm pretty sure I completely deviated from what you wanted, Iâm so sorry if itâs not satisfactory :( Itâs so cheesy and I feel like I messed it up at a few points but either way I liked writing it, it made me very happy to finally write some Draco fluff again.
anyway, love you all,
jean <3
#draco#draco malfoy#draco x y/n#draco imagine#draco fanfiction#draco fluff#draco angst#draco malfoy angst#draco malfoy x reader#draco malfoy fluff#draco malfoy imagine#draco malfoy x y/n#draco malfoy fanfiction#harry potter#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter imagine
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2021 Harry Potter Fanfic Primer
im here to point fingers at the incredible authors that have enabled my new interest in HP content. im still conflicted and upset about it, tbh, but for now weâre leaning into the curve. weâre getting out our shovel and finding out just how deep we can make the hole weâre in. hand in unlovable hand my beloved <3. anyway, these fics are wonderful, their authors are wonderful, and you should go read their stuff. if thereâs a star next to it that means im losing my mind over it and always will be.
Creatively Maladjusted, by elumish on AO3, 101k (they also have a wonderful writing advice blog on tumblr, @elumish, which I recommend following if you are a writer)Â
A very excellent re-telling of harryâs first year at hogwarts if he were sorted into Slytherin, plus some more not!fic or piecemeal re-tellings of his second and part of his third year. Harry, in this, has a slightly different trauma response to growing up with the Dursleyâs. Heâs a bit quieter, and the signs are a bit more obvious to the people around him, and I enjoyed that immensely.Â
Honestly, if youâre going to get sucked into something you have absolutely no business getting sucked into, elumish is the way to go, their fic is incredible. their teen wolf fic is also immaculate, if youâre so inclined.Â
Dissonance, by ImpishTubist on AO3, 2.5k (@impishtubist on tumblr)
Set during fifth year. Oblivious!Harry has always been a delightful trope when well executed, and this is well executed. Plus, some angst between Remus and Harry over what Umbridge has been doing to him.
I would certainly recommend a lot of ImpishTubistâs other hp work on AO3, like Lacuna.
blow us all away, by rexcorvidae on AO3, 23k (@rexcorvidae on tumblr)
In progress (like, updated last week in progress). Currently in the beginning of Harryâs first year. Fem!Harry, Indian!Harry. Hagrid puts Harry in touch with Remus when she has questions about her parents, and they become reluctant, traumatized, angst-ridden pen pals who keep missing each otherâs true intentions like ships in the night. hot DAMN do I love this fic. thereâs hints of the way the dursleyâs treat Harry peaking through in her letters, and I appreciated the attention to âhmm, her experience as a girl of indian descent in britain under the thumb of a bunch of white people who like being Normal may not have been gucciâ
Definitely comb through the rest of their HP fic, too, I may or may not have gone feral over it.
Where the Heart is, by silver_fish on AO3, 15k (@kohakhearts on tumblr)
Woof. This one said, âhey, harry was probably SUPER depressed in the summer after fifth year. like, clinically. maybe someone should do something about that.â Fuck yeah. Then this one said, âthat someone was Snape.â You all know my opinions on Snape; generally, Bad. But damn if this fic didnât wholly convince me by the end of it. I thought it was a very realistic way for Snape to start seeing Harry as a person all on his own, and not a proxy for Snapeâs angst over James and Lily, respectively. The angst is wonderful, the ending is even more so.
*bernie sanders voice* I am once again asking you to read through the rest of the authorâs HP fic. a lot of them have similar themes; thereâs actually a great one with Molly that iâm not reccing here, Wonder.
âBindings, Bindings, by Quietlemonhush on AO3, 60k (@quietlemonhush on tumblr)
WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU HOW MUCH I ENJOYED/AM ENJOYING THIS. If I had to pick a single fic and say âyou, itâs your fault Iâm stuck here,â it would be this one. Anyway Lily in the afterlife is So Very Angry about how Petunia is treating Harry, and how Sirius is rotting in Azkaban, and how Remus is alone, that she literally brings herself back to life and drags James and Regulus with her. All three of them are there to chew bubblegum and fix everything that went wrong after they diedâand would you look at that, theyâre all out of bubblegum! Thereâs only Fury left. That inciting premise is very crack, but every moment after that is very much not crack. Lily and James love harry more than anything, the way a child should be loved; James and Sirius have the epic friendship of a lifetime; Sirius and Remus have staggering amounts of resolved sexual tension and take turns keeping each other in check; Regulus, though he realized that Voldemort and his family were shit before he died, is still unlearning all his racist bullshit and, also, years of trauma. Actually, theyâre all traumatized, but hey: now they have one another again and not a damn one of them seems inclined to let go anytime soon. Quietlemonhush went, âhey, HP has a lot of Awful people in it, and a lot of Righteous people in it, and many of them are Very, Very Powerful; also, love is the most powerful force in the universeâ and i said âhell yes tell me more right now.â And then they did!
Quietlemonhush writes Sirius/Remus in a way that makes it sooo much fun to devour, so the rest of their HP fic is most certainly worth a look, if thatâs your thing.
Rebuilding, by Colubrina on AO3, 113k (@colubrina on tumblr)
Hermione/Draco (*shrug emojis into the abyss* yeah, yeah, like none of us have ever been there before). Takes place during Hogwarts 8th year, and while the beginning is, IMO, a little unfair to Ron, it gets much better. Tells the story of Hermione and Draco clearing the air, learning to like each other, having some hormones over each other, and then falling in love. Also tells the story of Hermione and Theo Nott becoming friends; the story of how every single 7th and 8th year student is fucked to hell by the war and the Carrows; the story of how they start an emotional support group about it and all become friends; and the story of, what the hell do you do with yourself after that kind of trauma?
Iâve been dipping in and out of Colubrinaâs HP since before I was even on tumblr; I actually found them in those dark yesteryears when the only fandom interactions I had were on fanfiction.net. Of such fame as Green Girl, which is an HP fic staple, and has also written a lot of wackier, crackier, and darker things than that. If you donât take yourself too seriously, I highly recommend many of their big HP works, though I imagine itâll press some peopleâs buttons. Colubrinaâs work really does take up a corner of my mind whenever Iâm in an HP mood, and will take up yours if you let it.
â all waiting is long, by shuofthewind on AO3, 149k ( @shu-of-the-wind on tumblr)
This is so well written that I canât stop thinking about it. It is occupying my mind when I lie awake at night, you know? Itâs one of those. Hermione messes with something she probably shouldnât have in Grimmauld Place, so when Sirius is sent through the Veil in the Department of Mysteries, she gets thrust into an alternate universe...in 1975. Instead of handwaving it away, shuofthewind actually gets into the mechanics of it in a way that makes sense, to emphasize that hermione is never going home. ever. The world she finds herself is shifted slightly to the left, quite a bit darker, but in a âthe author is treating the idea of a society-wide conflict over blood purity much more seriously than JKR ever didâ way, not a sensationalist way. Now, Hermione has to grapple with all her grief at losing everyone sheâs ever loved or known, the moral/ethical/magical implications of sharing what she knows about her future in an alternate world, and, you know, a goddamn war with people who want to murder her for being who she is. This Hermione is smart, and sheâs kind, and sheâs powerful, and sheâs making real friends. If you hate JKRâs guts Iâd go read this right now, because it delivers in all the ways she failed us. Itâs plotty, its got great world-building, and it pulls back the white curtain on the wizarding world to show you that, like real life, itâs multicultural and full of queer people...and the discrimination that comes with both.
shuofthewind write epics, mainly for the MCU, and Iâve read some of them a looooong time ago, so this fic kinda seemed out of left field for me but im SOOOO GLAD it exists. If you want MCU fic you can sink your teeth into, go for it, but alas, they do not have any more HP fic (.......yet?)
Speak Now [+] Listen Now, by mrsfrizzle on AO3, 33k altogether
Harry reaches out to Remus for support because Umbridge is getting to him with her literal torture. Remus, being a former professor, former mandatory reporter, person who loves Harry and has since he was born, and all around good man, tells Harry he has to tell someone, or Remus will. Itâs everything any adult looking back on that time in HP canon ever wanted, which is for an actual adult to say âwhat the fuck, those are literal chidlrenâ and then do something about it. Then, a far more dangerous task: Harry trusts Remus enough to go to him about the Dursleys. Harry and Remusâ relationship develops SO WELL, and thereâs a bit of exploration about how Sirius may not exactly be guardian material, because he did in fact spend 12 years of his life getting tortured instead of growing up. I think Iâm actually going to go reread this right now, because it speaks to my id.
they do have some other HP fic which did not appeal to my hyperspecific wants, but may appeal to some of yours. I think theyâre also a published author, there should be a link on their profile page.
chase the stars, by Duskglass on AO3, 101k (@felix-duskglass on tumblr)
When Harry is five years old, a picture of him ends up in the Daily Prophet, and Sirius Black, Terror of Ministry Officials Touring Azkaban everywhere, gets a hold of that issue. He then, in order: breaks out of Azkaban; crosses the countryside to Surrey; Finds Harry: Kidnaps Harry; Breaks Into Remusâ Apartment; starts processing (or maybe just acknowledging) his trauma from Azkaban, the war, and his childhood; and pines after Remus. Itâs a little plotty, and deals a lot (sometimes through flashbacks) with the specific awful things that happened to Siriusâlargely because, after years in the constant presence of Dementors, those are nearly literally the only memories he has left. Itâs a wonder heâs got the strength to love Harry and Remus at all. But then, maybe it isnât.
This is a Very Serious Fic, but the rest of Duskglassâs HP work is actually just cracky enough to tickle your funny-bone, while still making you think âokay but why couldnât we have done that in the first place.â
So! Thatâs it for recs, for now. These are all things Iâve found and read in the last month; if any of yâall are interested in my old HP recs, let me know and I can make a post for that, too. While Iâm still very conflicted about my choice of current fandom, I am not in ANY way conflicted about my taste in fic and authors. Send these guys some love, read their fic if youâre so inclined, and leave some nice comments at the end of it.
#harry potter#hp#fic recs#hp fic#to the authors: if for some reason you don't want to be on this list#let me know and i'll be happy to take your part down#tho i'm hoping you're fine with it because i want other people to read this stuff#and then cry about it with me#harry potter fic#harry potter fic recs
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Umbrella Academy Season 3Â Wish list
This is a long one so buckle up:
Let Klaus and Allison take centre-stage this season in leading the plot. Both are incredible characters and deserve the chance to shine. And I can think of several reasons why they deserve the chance to take centre-stage: out of the whole Academy their powers are some of the most fascinating and in Klausâ case he has so many that havenât been revealed yet. Theyâve both suffered and lost a lot as well, particularly in season 2 and their hardships tend to get ignored by others. Their relationship together is already really interesting and supportive and they would be an awesome team up. Thereâs more but Iâll be here forever if I tried to list them.
No Apocalypse. The world ending in eight days was a great plot driver in season 1 and again in season 2 with the reveal that the end of the world actually followed the Umbrellaâs back in time. But if the same thing gets repeated over and over then Iâm worried that the show will lose itâs edge as a result. In order for the characters to develop new crisis's need to take its place.
Let Five have a rest. Even if itâs just for an episode or two so he can get a solid eight hours sleep if nothing else. For the last two seasons Five has been running around non-stop trying to stop the end of the world and save his family. Without that Five can grow as a person and get a literal break that he really hasnât gotten in 45 years.
Oh course that doesnât mean I want Five out of the drama entirely and I do expect to see Reginald and Five scenes in season 3. Five is the only one of his original children that the bastard seemed to tolerate and he did seem to have some form of twisted respect for Five as well. And I wouldnât put it past the monocle monster to have some twisted plans in store for the eldest member of the Umbrella Academy. Heâs had fifty years to plan for the Umbrellaâs return after all.
The Sparrows. I just saw the line up of the Sparrows for season three and I am honestly so interested. I canât wait to see what their powers are like and I already have some ideas. They have so much potential and hopefully theyâll be done well. And so far they seem to be written as the Umbrellaâs foils. Marcus is a natural leader who loves his family, while Luther forces himself into the role and alienated his family as a result. Both Ben and Diego long to be the leader but while Diego is more emotional, Benâs more strategic. Five is driven by his love and desire to protect his family, while Sloane feels held back by hers. Vanya was treated as an outcast and betrayed her siblings trust while Christopher, a literal Cube, is said to be loyal and is treated as a loved family memberÂ
That being said though, I donât want the Sparrows to be the main focus this season or have the attention split between them and the Umbrellaâs. Because while I do want to see the Sparrows and their family dynamic and how they interact with the Umbrellaâs, I would prefer to see how the Umbrella Hargreevesâ cope with their existent and how this impacts them and how they move forward with this. Or a team up between Sparrows and Umbrellaâs would be fine. Or multiple team ups, Iâm not picky.
There is a really good fan theory out there about Klaus and Five being twins and while I know that in the comics itâs Luther and Five, the fan theory in season 3 would be so much better in my opinion. And in all honesty it makes so much more sense. Physically they are strikingly similar, especially as children. Their powers both concentrate in their hands and emit a blue glow when they use them. Their powers themselves are literally time and death, which are linked and they have additive personalities, which can be inherited between family members. And I canât help but feel that this moment:
lends a new level to their relationship then what we see with them as adults. Look at how alike they are! And that fond smile that Five is giving Klaus? Making them twins opens up a wide range of possibilities for Klaus and Five both character and plot wise.
Give Luther a proper love interest. And I canât believe that this even has to be said but his sister does not count! Literally all of siblings have have romantic interests, all of them so important in the Umbrellaâs life in some way or another. It would be nice too to see Luther form a healthy romantic connection for the first time in his life.
While Iâm on the subject of Luther and healthy relationships, it also brings me back to the Sparrows and how their number one Marcus seems to be Lutherâs foil. And it would be interesting for the show to explore just how seeing the Sparrows and someone so similar to Luther might just affect him. He did spend thirty years of his life after all being Reginaldâs little solider and believing that his position as Number One made him the family leader only to find out it was all for nothing. Only Marcus seems to be respected in his position as leader and loves his family dearly, while Luther was mocked and seems to have driven all of his siblings bar Allison away from him because of it. This has incredible potential for Lutherâs character arc this season especially if it makes him acknowledge his behaviour to his siblings as they were growing up; particularly to Klaus and Vanya who probably got the worst of it. Allison after all was his closest companion, Diego was his rival (more or less), Ben seemingly got on with everyone and Five would have bitten Lutherâs head off if he tried anything. But Reginaldâs disappointments Klaus and Vanya? Luther, wanting to impress their dad and follow his orders probably didnât treat them the best. And I want Luther to admit that and apologise and make the next step in becoming a better person and brother. Heâs made incredible progress in season 2, but I donât want his past treatment of his siblings to be swept under the rug. It needs to be acknowledged and Luther needs to admit it was wrong so he can grow.Â
Can we get Diegoâs season one hair back too? I wondered just how it got that long considering that he was only in the sixties for around three months. Klaus makes sense as he was in the sixties for years. Plenty of time for him to grow it out, not really for Diego. But I really prefer his season one hair so can it make a comeback please?
What I want to see for Vanya this season is for her to realize that she doesnât need powers to be special. I kinda noticed that she seems to have defined her worth on her powers and thatâs not healthy. So a potential scenario: Reginald seems to have made the power-suppressing drug himself, so he may still have it in season 3. Imagine Vanya getting a dose of it that knocks her powers out for a good chunk of time and in the meantime some of her siblings are in danger (Iâm picturing Luther and Diego here the himbos) and she ends up saving them. Not with her powers but because of her intelligence and other skills that she has and she realizes that she doesnât need her powers to be special or to save the day. A logical step in character growth.
Getting some closure on season 2 character like Sissy, Ray, Grace, the Cult (which I really didnât like) and the Swede and what happened to them once the Umbrellaâs left the sixties. And maybe finding out what happened to season oneâs characters since the Umbrellaâs didnât exist in this timeline: Agnes, Patch, Leonard, Pogo, Claire.
For Klaus and Umbrella Ben to talk about their issues and make up. I know that our Ben is now up there with the little girl in the sky but that has not stopped Klaus from visiting heaven before. And I think that if Klaus and Ben do not get at least one final conversation to talk through their issues next season then I will sue. They both did crappy things to each other in season two but they both love each other dearly and they deserve the chance to get the closure they both need. I think that Klaus will definitely need it in order to move on completely.
I know I said no Apocalypse but Iâm still going to be expecting some major crisis to happen during the last few episodes. An alien invasion or Sparrows trying to kill the Umbrella's maybe? But no matter what the problem is, I really want Klaus to get his moment to shine by being the one to save the day. Reginald said himself that Klaus has untapped potential and we know thanks to the comics what other powers he has. And thanks to Benâs antics at the family dinner the old bastard has probably written him off as useless and not a threat when making plans to deal with the Umbrellaâs. Which means nobody is going to be looking at Klaus or considering him a potential threat to their plans, leaving Klaus relatively safe to start exploring and enhancing his powers. He was supposed to be the one to have done it in season one with the moon and his abilities were brushed to the side completely in season two or used for Benâs benefit so I think heâs long overdue his moment to shine. And maybe then will the rest of his siblings stop seeing Klaus as a joke.
Lila. I donât think weâve seen the last of her, her story felt unfinished and she does have a briefcase. She could pop at any moment in the story. She has so much potential and I did love her actress. Imagine her and Five forcing to team up or something? Or maybe her and Allison?
Another character Iâd like to see return is Hazel. Heâs someone who really grew on me. And there is a chance that he could return and maybe team up with the Umbrellaâs this season. Potential scenarios: Five on the hunt for allies to help him restore the timeline hunts down Hazel who in this timeline is working with the Commission and because the Umbrellas donât exist hasnât met Agnes yet. Maybe something happened to her because of the Sparrows?
Finally Dave. Iâm a huge Dave fan but I really donât want him to show up in season three. Or if he does then for the smallest amount of time possible just to give Klaus some âclosureâ. Time travel is in the Umbrella Academy universe after all and itâs possible that by Klaus warning Dave about his faith and causing him to enlist earlier and in a different branch as a result heâs saved Dave and opened up the possibility of seeing Commission!Dave later. Which is the perfect storyline for season 4. Season three is only 10 episodes long and thereâll be a lot going on already so shoving Dave into what will already be a pretty packed season wonât give Dave the attention he deserves and will take away from the other focus. Not only that but Klausâ motivation for the last two seasons is doing something for either Dave or Ben. I want to see Klaus train his powers either for himself or to help someone else. Also, Dave deserves the chance to grow as a character as well and making him a part of season 3 would take away from the main focus of the Umbrellaâs and Sparrows. Making him a main focus in season four instead if we get one will give a great opportunity story-wise to develop both him and Klaus as individuals and as a couple.
#the umbrella academy#tua#the umbrella academy season 3#the sparrow academy#luther hargreeves#diego hargreeves#allison hargreeves#klaus hargreeves#five#five hargreeves#ben hargreeves#vanya hargreeves#reginald hargreeves#marcus hargreeves#fei hargreeves#jayme hargreeves#alphonso hargreeves#sloane hargreeves#christopher the cube#christopher hargreeves
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ok so to sum up my feelings for leverage: redemption, season 1(a): (long post warning, thereâs a tl;dr at the end)
I knew that Hardison wouldnât be in most of the season due to Aldis Hodge being a busy bee nowadays, but I didnât realize that meant heâd only be around for the first two episodes. He was sorely missed, not only because of my attachment to him, but also because heâs usually the grounding factor in the group dynamic, and his role as info guy and tech guy was split evenly between two characters who had their own issues.
That said, Hardison is absolutely a highlight of the two episodes heâs in. his speech about redemption was everything I couldâve hoped for (plus, more evidence for the Jewish!Hardison pile...). I wish weâd gotten to see more of his dynamic with Breanna because what we saw was funny and sweet and we donât generally get to see Hardison taking care of somebody who so desperately needs taking care of. I hope that Aldis Hodge is around for more episodes in 1(b), because what weâre left with feels a little hollow.
Sticking to original leverage characters for now, for the most part the leverage crew still felt true to the original series as characters, even if the show itself was a little bit confused at times. The actors understand their characters and embody them so well that I think one could give them the trashiest script ever and theyâd still sell it. Sophie is a particular focus in 1(a) because of Nateâs death, and sheâs particularly well written as a result.
That said, Iâm super bitter that we saw little to no mastermind!Parker. Parkerâs character being given the mastermind role was a big deal and it feels like theyâre walking it back because they feel uncomfortable with it. It is eventually given an in-text excuse, but literally in the last episode, and it was not a particularly convincing reason, and in fact contradicted moments from previous episodes (Sophie leaving for a client meeting and ignoring Parker in ep3 comes to mind). Itâs frustrating, it makes the end of the original leverage feel pointless, and letting Parker make a decision once in a while is not the same thing at all. The original series repeatedly showed us that while everyone in the team had their strengths, Parker works problems and solves them in unique, interesting ways, and other charactersâ days in the limelight tended to be comedic or even failures. Itâs a broken promise, and a pretty major broken promise at that.
On a more positive note, Parkerâs dynamic with literally everyone was fantastic. Sheâs possibly the best written character this season. Theyâve taken the autism out of the subtext and into the text (although obviously still undiagnosed), and given her coping mechanisms that were taken seriously in the text even when they were played for laughs, which I appreciated. Her attempts to mentor Breanna were sweet, her friendship with Sophie was electric and at times (CRIMES) hilarious, and as usual, she has a fantastic dynamic with Eliot that makes my heart burst. If you donât think theyâre romantically involved, at least acknowledge thereâs a life partnership here. Theyâve spent the last decade together.
(Weâll get to Harry.)
Eliot isnât given much arc-wise, which is frustrating since heâs my favorite. Heâs being presented as the goal at the end of a redemption arc, ie to keep working at it every day until your soul heals or whatever, and it doesnât reflect the message theyâre trying to convey via Hardisonâs speech and our two new characters. Heâs got his moments, but I think they under utilized his potential.
Breanna!!! Breannaâs my new favorite, except for Eliot. Sheâs hilarious, sheâs insecure, sheâs nerdy and excited in a way thatâs similar to Hardison but still distinct in its inherent teenage-girl-ness and I LOVE IT. Unlike the previous series, where Hardisonâs âage of the geekâ was often a joke played on Hardison, weâre at the point where Eliot and Parker are both right there with him, and so they accept and even appreciate Breannaâs nerdiness. Also, canon gay character? In YOUR Leverage? Itâs more likely than you think.
(No, I never thought theyâd make ot3 canon on screen. I hoped, but I didnât think it would actually happen.)
I think Breannaâs the character that will be the most interesting to see grow. Sheâs got a lot of potential and a list of crimes a mile long (or more). I adore her with all my heart. I want to see her tiktok account.
Harry. Oh, Harry.
It took me a while, but I do like Harry. It took a while, because the narrative positioned him at the same level as Nate back in episode 1 of original Leverage. But in episode 1 we didnât know the other characters. We had Nate as the POV character, and so we cared about him because we were seeing the world through his eyes. (This is TV Studies 101. I know this, because I took TV Studies 101 in 2019.) In Leverage: Redemption, we no longer have a POV character, for several reasons:
Nate, previously the POV character, is dead.
As it is, by mid-season 3 of leverage Nate was no longer a POV character. This is, coincidentally, the point where the leverage writers realized they had four other characters in the main cast they could do something with, and in-universe, Nate accepted that he was a thief, not a special Good Man.
Sophie is sort of a POV character for the first episode of the revival, but only for the first few minutes. Afterwards, the series settles into the groove of seasons 3-5, i.e., the entire crew is our POV. We know our crew, and we love them as is.
Narratively, however, Redemption insists on positing Harry as the POV character, because it is his redemption we are pursuing most vehemently. And I think they really relied on us already knowing the actor - Iâve never seen him in anything before, so to me he was a completely fresh face and they put almost no effort into selling him to me. Beyond being competent and consistently mildly baffled by the antics of the leverage crew, I honestly donât know who this man is by the end of EIGHT episodes with him. I have a much better handle on Breanna by the end of 1(a), and I can tell you I knew all five of the original leverage crew better by the end of the first episode of the original series than I do Harry. Whatâs the name of his daughter, John Rogers. Is he still married. How old is the daughter. Why is none of this worth mentioning. Give him a sense of humor that isnât reacting to other peopleâs shenanigans. Iâm so frustrated. Itâs bad writing.
I did manage to grow to like Harry by the end, but Iâm pretty sure this is down to Noah Wyleâs charismatic portrayal of an under-developed character, at least partially. And I never stopped being frustrated at not knowing who this man is at all.
The two highlights of the season are undoubtedly episodes five and six. Episode five was the first time I felt like the episode was more than a collection of good moments between the main cast and mediocre moments between the main cast and also the main plot. The issues with pacing and tone that I suffered through for most of the season were mostly non-existent in ep5 and 6, and at least in episode 5 I attribute that to the pared down cast. They had time to focus not only on our actual characters - Sophie, Parker, Breanna - but also on the case. This is the only client from 1(a) I am going to remember next week without googling it first, mark my words.
Episode six worked for the exact opposite reason - it completely disregarded the client and plot and immersed itself in the characters. Breanna gets a moment to shine, but everybody else gets their bits and I wouldnât be surprised if that was the script that was most fun to write. The characters felt natural, real, and captured the found-family dynamic thatâs been missing all season for the first time.
While episode 2 is the weakest episode, I donât actually have much to say about it. I am disappointed in episode 8. For a mid-season finale, I really expected them to do something. Instead, it was an episode about Nate Ford that copped out of being about Nate Ford (both with fake-Nate and with the new version of him being relayed to us). I would have told the writers to give that energy back to episode 1 and write an episode thatâs about anybody who isnât Harry, oh my God. I know I said I grew to like him but so many episodes were about Harry. Heâs the newbie! Why didnât Hardison get an episode that was actually about him, considering he was only around for two episodes? Why does Eliot have to be the butt of the joke when the theme of the series should directly tie back to him in a much more meaningful way? The last episode parodies their own tagline by saying Eliot isnât just a hitter, but it deftly avoids noticing that theyâve turned him into nothing more than very muscly comic relief, including in that very episode!
Also, I hated the Marshal. Eliot actively looked uncomfortable around her.
tl;dr
The season took a while, thatâs definitely true. But it did find its footing eventually, and by the halfway mark of 1(a) it finally felt cohesive again. The characters were played fantastically even when they werenât well-written, and if nothing else, the humor landed every time. It still has its kinks and problems to work out, but if you look at it as a brand new show rather than a continuation of one that went off the air over eight years ago, itâs actually doing rather well. Iâm choosing to judge it in both lights - according to its own standards, it establishes its identity in episode five; according to Leverage standards, it establishes its connection to its roots in episode six. Either way, I thoroughly enjoyed 1(a), and continue to have high hopes for 1(b).
fic writing will commence in three, two, one...
#leverage#leverage meta#leverage redemption#leverage ot3#parker leverage#alec hardison#sophie devereaux#eliot spencer#breanna casey#harry wilson#mine
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Arnav, Khushi: Choti Si Duniya
#3 Old Habits
On most days Arnav and Khushi were happily married, with ample amount of laughter, space, sex, healthy banter, mild arguments, partnership and friendship filling their days.
On some days they just took the breath away from the other by simply existing, thrumming in the evergreen Rabba Ve. And on other days they were quiet, with one of their past demons returning to haunt them while the other supported the best they could.
And on the rarest days their arguments would take an ugly turn. It wasnât a difference of thought, but rather crossing an invisible line of trust. Old habits, which despite maturity and therapy, flared up.
Unfortunately, Arnav crossed it far more than Khushi did.
âYouâre forgetting sheâs my sister Khushi Kumari Gupta! How could you not tell me sheâs dating my manager.â
âShe is also my sister Arnav, and Di told me not to tell you-â
âI donât fucking care-â
â-thatâs exactly why she told me not to tell you. And Aman ji is a good man for Di.â
âI donât care, you still don't know Aman.â
âIâve known him for six years! And for your kind information, I am a good judge of character Arnav-â
â-no you're not. If you were a good judge then things would've been different.â
âWhat do you mean by that.â
âForget it.â
âDonât forget that with this judgement I chose to marry you.â
âOh really? With this judgement you brought fucking Shyam back to the house. I told you it was a big mistake but no - you thought he had changed.â
Khushi stormed into their bedroom, packing her clothes for a week. How dare he accuse her for not understanding Shyam! Yes, she had made a colossal mistake regarding him, but bringing it up after five years?
Just because he couldn't handle Di having a boyfriend?
Khushi breathed hard, fought her tears and zipped up her suitcase.
âKhushi, Iâm sorry.â Arnav panted, having run up the stairs. His panic grew at the suitcase.
âThen why did you bring that up.â
âI was angry, I didnât... you know how I am regarding Di.â
âI do Arnav, but that does not excuse you bringing up that up. I would've never brought him to the house if I knew he killed Diâs child.â
âOf course, I know that. Itâs just... I shouldn't know about Aman and Di after theyâve started dating.â
Khushi sighed. She understood his overprotectiveness, especially after the Shyam fiasco they were all at edge towards Anjali. Frankly if it had not been for Aman, Khushi wouldâve confided in Arnav.
âI get it, but Iâm leaving for Bua jiâs for a week... if I didnât know you, I would've never forgiven you for what you said.â
âKhushi you know I didnât mean it.â
âAnd you know that anything related to that man is... has never been my fault.â
âI know Khushi but donât go.â He held her hand.
âArnav, Iâm not in the state to forgive you for what you said. I want to calm down, take a little break and talk to you about this. So first, go and talk to your sister and please let me go.â
Arnavâs temper ticked. He hated Khushi leaving home. Leaving him.
âRunning away from things donât fix anything.â
âIâm not running away Arnav, I need space.â
âI said Iâm sorry.â He yelled.
âAnd that is not enough!â She matched his pitch, grabbed her suitcase and headed for the door. Except he shut the door on her face and pulled her away.
âYou canât leave,â He warned. Khushi snatched her hand away from his.
âOr else?â She challenged.
âYou know what Iâm capable of,â His mouth hardened into its cruel, familiar straight line. And Khushiâs heart broke, again.
âEvery single fucking time,â Khushi swore and threw her bag to the floor, angry tears rolled down her cheeks. Arnav faltered, his grip on the door loosening.
âKhushi main-â Khushi stopped him and stepped away.
âEnough Arnav. Main kya? You didnât mean what you said? Didnât mean to hold my hand hard enough to hurt? Didnât mean to bring up the past? Didnât mean to break my heart?â Khushi folded her arms, analyzing his face.
âBut it still hurts. And you do nothing to fix it. I wonder, where does this come from?â
âI donât want you to leave me.â He said.
âI didnât leave you when things were worse, when you couldn't stand being in the same room as me-â And despite the years, the memories filled Arnav with guilt and Khushi with pain. He looked away, unable to meet her eyes.
âIâm sorry,â His voice had lost its strength, âI wish I could change-â
âHume uss baat se koi farak nahi padta. I have never asked you for an explanation or your regret. Iâve left these behind. But you haven't. Your habits haven't.â Khushi wiped her tears, struggling to keep her composure.
âYou know, letâs talk about this. Because Iâve heard all of this before and we never really addressed how you broke my heart. And the fact that you can say all this despite all the therapy we've been to...â
Arnav sank into the green chaise, head in his hands. Khushi, always having the bigger heart, kneeled by him and grabbed his face. He was crying. Her heart truly broke.
âTalk to me Arnav. Why do you say these things? Itâs been so long, and trust me when you shut the door and grab me I still get scared, it still breaks my heart despite everything. It will never be okay-â
Arnav held her hand, whispering his sorries to her.
âAnd what do you mean by âmy sisterâ. Donât you know how long it took me to make this family my own. Arnav, my world changed overnight. You know this. Tumhara, mera... you make me feel like this is not mine. That this house, this-â
âNo Khushi, everything is yours. Yeh ghar, Di, main-â He choked.
âThen why do you work so hard to push me away? I know you're concerned for Di, even I was first worried when I learned she liked Aman ji. But she's happy with him.â Khushi said.
âI canât... Di was happy with Shyam. I can't see her go through pain again, when I know that I could've prevented it.â Arnav confessed.
âArnav, things would've hurt irrespective of everything we did. Or maybe because of it. The problem was not that we couldn't protect her, itâs that we took away her choice. Our decision to tell her the truth depended on it our convenience to lie about him.â Arnav agreed.
âAnd Aman ji is different. You know him for twelve years and if he turns out terrible despite that, then weâll support Di the best we can and murder him.â Khushi cracked a smile and Arnav chuckled.
âIâm sorry Khushi,â He said, wiping her tear away.
âYou should be. I mean, yes, I should've known better about trusting a man who didn't hesitate to kidnap you-â Arnav tsked at her.
âYou were barely in your twenties. I shouldn't have brought that up.â He huffed.
âBut you did.â She smiled sadly. Arnav stopped himself from saying 'I didn't mean to'. If he didn't, he shouldn't have. So he attempted at pouring his heart, saying things he meant.
He often resorted to pulling peopleâs mistakes when they made a decision without his input to prove they can't always make the right choice.
âBecause I believe Iâm the only one who can take the right decisions for everyone...â Arnav scoffed at the irony of his sentence. There were times when he had succeeded but despite his best efforts he did hurt Khushi where it hurt most.
"I always think itâs right to use any means to stop you from leaving me, especially after a fight. Cause I think Iâll fix everything later, as long as you're in front of me.â He confessed.
âExcept it fixes nothing. It just... Arnav I feel like I have to cut a part of myself to be with you after such things because I love you, I love you so much that I canât bear to not love you. Aur aise harkatein ke baad... it gets difficult to love you.â Khushi began to cry.
âIt kills me to not be able to love you.â Arnav kissed her forehead, holding her tight in his arms. Her sobs racked against his chest, breaking his heart to two.
âKhushi please donât... how can I fix this? I feel like any sorry isn't enough.â
âLetâs talk. Like this, always.â Khushi sniffled. Arnav nodded, pressing another kiss to the top of her head.
âAnd... if I want to leave,â Arnavâs grip tightened, âknow that Iâm always coming back. Except I just need space to process things.â Khushi broke the hug, and caressed his cheek.
âOk, Iâll tell Mohan to drive you to Bua jiâs. I won't- canât, you know I won't be able to leave you there.â Arnav smiled, holding her hand against his cheek.
âIâll talk to Di about everything and weâll work on this.â He pointed to themselves. Everything was worth a shot.
âAnd I will never keep anything from you.â She promised, acknowledging her own mistake.
âAb jao, otherwise I wonât let you go.â Arnav turned away, dismissing her. Khushi pressed the most loving, forgiving kiss against his cheek and left for Bua jiâs.
---
Aman and Anjali watched Khushi leave for Bua jiâs. She had and bid everyone goodbye - Aarav choosing to stay home, afraid of the cheek pulling at Lakshminagar. But promised to FaceTime his mum at every single minute.
Arnav, had not come down to see her off. Anjali was worried sick. Aman tried to placate her.
âAman, you have no idea the problems Chote and Khushi faced because of my first marriage. I did not... I always ruin everything. My blind faith nearly destroyed my brotherâs happiness and yet again-â Aman placed his finger against Anjaliâs lips, shushing her effectively.
âNo Anjali. You are not responsible for ASR and Khushi bhabhiâs lives. Your faith in your husband was admirable. If the narrative was different, you would've been lauded for your trust in him. Unfortunately that wasn't the case.â Anjali didnât agree. Aman grabbed her shoulders and pulled her close.
âAnjali, look at me. Take deep breaths. Ab, listen. Yes, you affect ASRâs life - why wouldn't you, he's your brother, your support, your heart. But whatever happens in his life is a result of his actions. Same applies for Khushi bhabhi. Yes, they might have fought regarding us, but not because of it.â
âBut Aman-â
âNo buts, if we were to break up - because, of course, ASR affects your life too - would you hate ASR?â This time Anjali grabbed Amanâs shoulders in response to his questions.
âI would never hate my brother Aman Mathur. And no matter how much I love him, I would speak to him but not give up on you like that.â If they were not in  Shantivan, Aman wouldâve kissed her senseless on the spot.
âItâs taken me a lot to fall in love, and Iâm not going to change that-â
âThen that resolves everything Di.â Aman and Anjali jumped apart on finding Arnav leaning against a wall, a soft smile playing on his lips. These few minutes said a lot about Aman and Anjaliâs relationship that he wouldnât have been able to have assessed without a calm mind.
âChote.â Anjali nearly ran into her brotherâs arms. Arnav hugged her tight, happy and relieved at the same time.
âItâs ok Di. First of all, as Aman said, youâre not responsible for anything. Everything will be fine between Khushi and me. And next time, you can tell your brother everything, I wouldnât sack Aman for being your boyfriend... even if Iâm tempted to.â Anjali pushed him against his shoulder and the siblings grinned.
âThank you Chote. This means the world to me.â Aman smiled affectionately at the duo.
âThereâs nothing to thank me. It is your life. But if Aman hurts you-â
â-then feel free to do anything with him.â Anjali quipped.
âPrecisely. Even Khushi is on board with murder.â
âDo you both realize I am here.â Aman cleared his throat.
âYeah, that saves me the time to separately give the shovel talk. You are truly efficient Aman.â Anjali laughed and headed towards Aman, who was more than happy to receive the threats.
He was officially welcomed to the Raizada's.
---
Madhumati and Garima had long learned what interference could cost in both, Khushi and Payalâs lives. With Shashiâs recovery they realized that if they had let both the daughters take decisions they saw fit, a lot of misunderstandings would've been avoided.
So when Khushi arrived with her bag and a call came from Payal apprising the Guptas of the situation at home, the Guptas needed no answers from Khushi nor were in a hurry to send her to Shantivan.
For this home would always remain as Khushiâs.
Madhumati didnât prod about the untouched jalebis (although she did have a good mind to use her belan on her beloved damaad), Garima busied herself with her hour long chats with her grandson on the phone and Shashi gave Khushi the space to talk.
Time definitely allowed healing and perspective.
---
It was one of those days when Arnav was restless. Neither tending his plants nor working gave him relief. Perhaps it was because there were three more days for Khushi to come home?
He paced across every square inch of his mansion - the Prakashes and Raizada's knowing well to steer clear from Pacing Singh Raizada.
âWassup Nannav? Missing Khushi bhabhi? You want me to send her a message? Iâm heading there to grab some samosas.â NK grinned, as if he hadn't seen his cousin pining for Khushi in the past four days.
âNothing.â Arnav gritted. He knew therapy was working. If not, NK wouldâve been six feet under. And maybe Lavanya wouldâve murdered him for it, but that was a small price to pay.
âEverythingâs alright Chote?â Anjali stepped in, slapping NK behind his head.
âYes Di, I ju-â Arnav stopped. The air sweetened, goosebumps broke and a sudden wind hit him. Oh, it was one of those days.
âChote-â
âNannav,â
Arnav ignored them and walked towards the door, nearly running by the end of it.
There was Khushi, in a red salwar kameez, house keys in hand.
They looked at each other as a strong breeze washed over them. A few strands of her hair flew and she softly smiled, before her chin wobbled and a sheen of tears betrayed her joy of coming home.
Oh, the one to cry at the drop of a hat!
Khushi ran up the few steps and nearly jumped into his arms as he engulfed her in his embrace. They remained in the intimate hug, sharing a few discreet kisses and whispered promises, oblivious to the audience.
âDi, how does Nannav always know when Khushi jiâs home?â NK asked.
âOld habits NK bhai, puraani aadatein.â Anjali smiled.
---
A/N: This was the longest CSD one shot! Here's your slice of angst but happily ever after - just let's say I was in one of those moods.
Choti Si Duniya is going to be a series of one shots of Arnav & Khushiâs life post the end of the show. These are going to be snippets inspired by certain gifs. I hope you liked it - do share your views!
#ipkknd#iss pyaar ko kya naam doon#ipkknd ff#fanfiction#arnav#khushi#choti si duniya#angst#hona hi tha
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the clones were essentially slaves and the jedi allowed it. they are in fault for accepting the army in the first place; and for those who think this is a hard pill to swallow; apathy by not calling out they were slaves. i really think this shows the corruption in both the republic and the order itself but most people defend the jedi for some reason. the jedi werenât the only victims of order 66; the clones who got their free will overridden were somehow always out of the question. having a inhibitor chip that somehow can control your actions is a scary dystopian-ic sort of concept.
and yet, the clones had to go through this but no one acknowledges that because they donât want to blame the jedi for accepting what essentially is a slave army đ€·
yeah i have a lot of feelings
I think we live in age where being fan means refusing to acknowledge we donât like. sure, fandoms are supposed to be fun so itâs normal for us to want to engage only with the parts that make us happy. However, Iâve been noticing with growing concern a new trend where only the parts we want to engage are welcomed as valid fandom community.
The Jedi Order is prime example of this. We have fans who love them, fans who hate them and fans who enjoy them in parts. All are fans, all are valids. But Iâve noticed that, tumblr at least, is no longer a safe place for fans who want to discuss topics that âjedi stansâ find unflattering.
Not to sound all fandom-elder but back in my day when someone said something like âI think the Jedi did something wrongâ someone would disagree and life would go one. now it seems people who want to talk about anything beyond the âI love this and everything about is perfectâ mentality is considered a fandom-terrorist. Someone who is actively âruiningâ the fandom experience for everyone else, even if said âhaterâ is not engaging with anything, even if they are simply posting their opinion on their own blog. Considering we are talking about a platform where performative wokeness is the norm, itâs not all that surprising that people will resort to self-victimization when arguments fails them.
What any of this has to with do with clone slavery? Everything! Because thatâs a sour topic in this fandom. itâs amazing how something so painfully obvious â slavery is *always* wrong â became such controversial topic. It says a lot about the overall mentality of the fandom when people argue pro-slavery because the opposite would mean their fave character did something morally wrong.
Again, when wokeness is perfomative something as innocent as enjoying a fictional character can put a crack in the image youâre trying to sell. If youâre a victim of cruel, abusive fandom that is âruining everythingâ for you, of course everything you consume must be pristine as your image. On top of that, if the fans (who disagree with you) are inherently evil and wrong, you donât have to spend as much time and energy arguing their points. You can just say they are bad people and get some sympathy points.
To make matter worse, after the âstan cultureâ, we also have to deal with racism and sexism. If you pay attention to the argument defending clone enslavement and the role everyone played in it, youâll notice the issue is not so much that people donât care about slavery and murder. They simply donât care about the enslavement and murder of anyone who isnât a (white) favorite.
For everyone fan saying Anakin was wrong in killing innocent tusken children, thereâre at least 3 fans saying they deserved it because they were savages who needed to pay for their parents crimes (or that killing them made the people safer). However, these same fans will relentlessly argue that Anakin killing that cute little boy in ROTS is one of the most vile crimes put on screen because he was such innocent, pure little boy.
The same goes for the clones. Anakin and Obi-wan being enslaved for a few days was traumatizing, cruel, vile, etc; the clones being enslaved for years and used as cannon fodder is ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ  (the main point being that everyone, including the jedi, did everything they could to save the clonesâŠand by everything they could, they usually mean nothing at all)
More recently, we have the clone wars finale. A heartbreaking hour of tv made to illustrate how cruel and unfair the war was *for the clones* and yet the main complaint was the show not taking its time to show the real victims of Order 66 (the jedi). We had a whole blockbuster, full-length movie illustrating the tragic end of the Jedi Order but people were still pissed Filoni dedicated an hour to show the clones were victims too.
To be honest, Iâm done arguing this because experience has told me people arenât interesting in talking about the issue, they just want their faves to look good. They donât really care about the clones beyond their relationship with the beloved Jedi (Obi-wanâs men, Anakinâs men, Plo Koonâs menâŠthey are never viewed as their own men, men who should be allowed a choice to exist beyond the role forced â and enforced â upon then).
Iâve said this a countless time before and Iâll say it again, thereâs no justification for slavery. No righteous course action beyond doing everything in your power to stop it, and if you donât have any power to act by yourself itâs your moral (and legal) duty to make sure people with power act on your behalf. If youâre not a legal enforces, you can still make sure you vote for the right leaders, protest, write letters, contact the government, go on strike, protests, etc. sitting on your ass because âthere was not nothing you could doâ is not a valid (or even accurate) option when it comes to the enslavement of human beings. And, imo, itâs fucking sad this even needs to be said.
The clones, the children and everyone else enslaved in the GFFA deserved better, deserved someone willing to help them, deserved more than empty words and gestures. And thatâs a hill Iâm more than ready to die on.
But hey, wtf do i know?
[The Jedi] are being corrupted by this war, by being forced to be generals instead of peacemakers. â George LucasÂ
#ask#lukegarmadon#sw meta#meta: fandom#clone troopers#meta: clones#gffa slavery#txt#jedi order#jedi politics
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just one night
pairing : reiner braun / reader
word count : 2.9k
tags : fluff, angst, heartache, acknowledgement of reinerâs suffering </3
summary : being a field nurse had it's ups and downs, but everything about taking care of reiner braun was the best and worst thing about your job.
â originally posted 12 / 16 / 20 on ao3Â â
"oh, you're finally awake." you set the tray of medical supplies in your hands down on the small desk beside the bed, shutting the privacy curtain before you returned to his side, "i was worried about you, you know?"
though most of his body had regenerated over the seven hours he'd been unconscious, he was still missing a majority of his right hand up to the wrist, the steaming, incomplete appendage he was now examining with a tired look on his face.
"what time did they bring me in?" his voice was husky with sleep, eyes low as they flitted over to look at you.
"around eighteen hundred hours yesterday," you said, placing the back of your hand on his forehead to check his temperature, "i administered some pain meds a few hours ago, but let me know if you need any more."
being a field nurse for the marleyan army wasn't the easiest job in the world, mostly consisting of lots of running around in the trenches with your heavy kit and avoiding as much gunfire and blood splatter as you possibly could while still helping the wounded. you had volunteered to work soon after the conflict with the mid-east allied forces had begun, seeing as it was either that or see your father be drafted out into the eldian unit to become cannon fodder like so many of the soldiers you'd seen barely able to crawl their way back over the sandbags just to bleed out and die before you could even begin to assess their injuries. you stopped keeping count of how many people you couldn't save after your first few days of active combat, becoming more focused on not going insane from how little you slept due to the rumbling of the ground from enemy artillery that shook the walls of the underground quarters and reading the letters your family sent from back home to maintain a shred of morale for the future.
though, the job did have some perks. it was always honorable for eldian families to have someone enlisted, and it also meant you could support your parents with your minuscule paycheck from the government. and, of course, meeting reiner braun was the biggest plus of them all, though you probably wouldn't admit it if anybody asked. you were a hard worker, and evidently had enough natural skill to quickly be promoted to the position that you were at now, assigned as one of the few nurses who monitored the wellness of the warriors and their prospective candidates.
"my regeneration has been slowing down lately, i should have more of my hand back by now." reiner murmured, more to himself than you.
"of course it has, you haven't been eating as well as you should be. i don't know much about titan biology, but i do know that a soldier like you, a warrior no less, shouldn't live off of sandwiches and beer, you've been losing too much weight."
he chuckled, a quick smile flitting across his face before he returned to his previous sulk. "you sound like my mother, chiding me about how i need to take care of myself. isn't there other patients that need your attention?"
"you wish. me and another nurse have already taken care of this entire hall, and you, mr. celebrity, get a room all to yourself." you grabbed a pen and his chart, scribbling down a few notes about his current status while you spoke, "plus, i'm supposed to be checking up on you every hour until you're all put back together, magath's orders."
he paused, thinking to himself before speaking. "so does that mean galliard is ok?" you nodded.
"and pieck?" you nodded again.
"and zeke?" you sighed, but reaffirmed once more.
"you've been checking up on me all night by the looks of it. aren't you tired?"
"gosh reiner, would it kill you to focus on yourself for a minute?" you rolled your eyes at his confusion, pulling up the chair at the desk to his bedside and seating yourself down, "this is my job, i'm used to doing my job. in fact, this is one of the easiest nights i've had in weeks. i don't know about you, but it shocks me that the guy they blew to pieces yesterday afternoon is asking me if i'm the one that needs to get some rest."
his brow furrowed, mouth drawing into a small frown. "sorry. i know that the war has been hard for all of us. i just don't want to make it any harder for you than it's already been."
you couldn't help but smile at his genuine concern, planting your elbows on your thighs and resting your chin in your hands. "you don't have to worry about bothering me, reiner." you replied softly, playfully adding, "you know you're my favorite patient anyways" just to see his cheeks flush red.
"is that so?" he murmured in reply, now smiling with you as he met your gaze.
"maybe." you teased, leaving him hanging for a few moments before you continued, "galliard's always awkward when i'm in the room, jaeger never has much, if anything, to say, and pieck, she's nice to be around, but she always looks so tired i feel a bit bad when i chat for too long with her. so, if it's anyone i'm stuck on the night shift with, i'm glad it's you."
you laughed softly at his expression, feeling a bit sheepish under his gaze. he'd changed quite a bit over the two years you'd known him, the shadows under his eyes deepening with a clear exhaustion, cheekbones becoming more pronounced and face growing gaunter as the stress of the war withered away at his physical and mental wellbeing. before you personally met, you'd always seen reiner as the physical embodiment of marley's armor, with his sturdy, unyielding frame, towering over nearly everyone he met from his stature, and the iron will that never seemed to falter no matter how many times he returned broken to the barrack's infirmary.
but now, you could see how everything had been taking a toll on him, how he was growing thinner and weaker each time he returned from a successful military assignment. you had come to learn that despite his regenerative properties, he felt every bit of pain that came with the injuries he sustained, experiencing the absolute agony of having his limbs shredded and bones shattered by cannon fire in his titan form and still having to push forward on the battlefield. you had an immense respect for him and his unyielding nature, but you always worried. even though you knew he would always manage to get himself back together again, you always worried for him. you remembered how you felt as you peeked over the sandbags, watching with a mixture of awe and dread as reiner threw himself in front of jaeger at the last moment to shield him from the unexpected volley of naval artillery, the way your heart thundered so loudly in your ears at the sight of his titan crumpling.
the relief you felt upon being ordered to his hospital room and finding him still alive was indescribable, and the relief you felt now being able to talk to him, to stare into his tired eyes and take in his handsome features you'd become so familiar with, flushed softly from your playfully exchanged wordsâ you didn't want to see him go again.
"l-let me go get you a blanket," you said, snapping yourself out of your unnecessary thoughts, "i packed it away since i didn't want the steam to overheat you, but now that its just your hand and ankle i think it'll be ok to let you have it back now."
you quickly got up from your seat and slipped past the privacy curtain, opening up the supply cupboard with sheets and extra clipboards and things of the sort to pull out the blanket you'd originally taken off of him and put away.
you had to control yourself, to stop letting yourself be distracted by these thoughts and concerns about him. you knew as well as anyone else in marley that he didn't have long left to live. you hated that everyone referred to it as his 'term', as if after two years passed he could return home to live a peaceful life away from the war and bloodshed, to enjoy the luxuries of a normal existence that had been snatched away from him from the very start of his life. he only had two years left before he had to be eaten by one of those children, children that had similarly had their innocence and adolescence stolen from them by the marleyan government. you had told yourself over and over to not let yourself get so close to him, to not trick yourself into believing that maybe something could work between the two of you after marley's greed for natural resources had been sated and all the nations were finally at peace.
but you knew better than anyone that these feelings had been growing out of control, and each day you spent tending to him, watching him out on the battlefield, finding more and more about who he truly was besides a soldier only fed the fire you'd been fighting between fueling and snuffing out for months now. taking in a deep breath, you forced a smile onto your face, not wanting to concern him with an upset expression and risk dumping all your pathetic emotions out under his scrutiny.
"here we are." you hummed, flapping out the blanket a few times before you stretched it over his lap.
for a moment your face was close to his, close enough to see the small brown spots freckling his golden irises and realize just how intently he was gazing at you. you quickly retreated back to your seat at his bedside, still feeling his stare lingering on you, stopping yourself from asking him what was interesting enough to make him look at you for so long.
for another moment, there was silence, and you debated on making up some excuse to leave the room, but you knew you would have to come back in an hour, and he most likely wouldn't be asleep by then, but he spoke before you could think up any other escape plans.
"you know, i was happy to wake up and see you." you felt your heart skip, blinking at him, trying to make sure you weren't hearing things.
"really?" you mustered, feeling your cheeks grow warm at the sight of his smile.
"yes, really." he affirmed, the brightness on his face dampening a bit as he continued, "most of the time when i sleep, i get a lot of... memories, from my time in paradis, and they're not the most pleasant things to see while i'm asleep. and i was having another one of those dreams just now before i woke up, so it was nice to not be alone, you know? it's always reassuring to see you."
you felt a light flutter in your chest, nodding in response, torn between feeling sympathy for his nightmares or happiness from honest words. no, you had to stop being selfish. you had to stop letting yourself play along in this fantastical idea of a happy future.
"y-yeah, i understand," you replied, fixing your gaze down in your lap as you tried to avoid his intention, "i could put in a request for sleeping aids, if restlessness is becoming an issue."
"you know that's not what i'm trying to say." his hand reached out to rest over yours, giving it a gentle squeeze, imploring you to stop ignoring the obvious.
"reiner." you said firmly, lips pressing into a firm line, "we can't. i can't."
you could feeling that light, airy joy twisting down into something irksome, settling like lead deep in your stomach as he replied. "what's stopping you?"
"everything!" you snapped, stopping yourself to take a deep breath and regain control of your volume before you began again, "everything.. this war, this never-ending conflict, and.. y-your term, your life-"
"you think i don't know that?" he said softly, too softly, somber gaze flitting between the hand in his grasp and your face. he seemed so small just now, seated up against wall behind the hospital bed that was too little for him, barely covered by the thin, old blanket that was fraying at the seams, not at all like the stoic, unwavering warrior he made himself out to be in the public eye. "don't you think i'm tired of pretending? tired of having people toss the topic of my death back and forth like they're discussing vacation plans? i love marley, and i love what i can do for the people who look up to me, for the people who rely on me to be the hero. you never ask me about paradis, you never ask me about how i feel about all of this, you never expect me to be the hero, and you're still always here to listen, always here when i need you to be. but i just want to feel like i don't have to worry about all that, even if it's just for one night... i know it sounds counterintuitive, but i want to pretend like things will be alright.. for you, for me, for everyone. can't we just have this one night?"
your hand trembled, fingers lacing easily with his like you'd risked doing a few times before, tears pricking your eyes, feeling like there was something cinching around your heart and lungs and squeezing tight. the heat of his hand in yours was pleasant, calloused palm fitting perfectly against the contour of your own, thumb stroking softly over the side of your own hand.
you swallowed your apprehension, steadying your breath and blinking away the mistiness threatening to spill down onto your face as you moved from the chair to take a seat on the side of his bed. "ok. one night."
the relief that bloomed across his expression warmed your heart, the stress that had been creasing his face softening back into the relaxed, sleepy looking smile that you always poked fun at when you brought him his breakfast in the morning.
"you have to be up at seven, so lay down right, i don't want you to complain to me about your back hurting tomorrow." he complied, shifting back down in the bed to rest his head back on the pillow, allowing you to let go of his hand momentarily to tuck the blanket around him. "do you want me to go get you something to help you sleep?"
"no." he murmured, gazing up at you, "just stay here with me, please. i'll sleep just fine as long as you're here."
there was something so childlike about his words, not in the way of immaturity or naivety, but something that just made you want to take care of him, to protect him from the corruption of the world outside of the obsolete confinements of his hospital room.
"i will." you said, letting your other hand find the side of his face, "i promise."
and so you stayed, you stayed as long as he needed you to, alternating between stroking his cheek and slowly running your fingers through his hair. there were no words exchanged, but the silence was comforting, the quietest night you'd both had in weeks, only occupied by the intermittent footsteps of the other nurses making their rounds around the hall and the soft evening breeze blowing through the half-open window above the desk. you didn't care for how long you had to sit there, replying back to the small movements of his hands with your own reassuring squeeze as he slowly but surely fell back asleep. but even after his breathing had steadied out, and his grasp on your hand had loosened, you still stayed seated at his bedside, just gazing down at his sleeping face as your thought to yourself.
the war against the mid-east allied forces had come to a rocky close, most likely guaranteeing marley at least a few months of tension-filled peace before another nation made their strike on their borders once again. but you knew that marley wouldn't wait for that, you knew that they wouldn't stop until they had the world in their hands, paradis included. you'd heard the private murmurs of jaeger before you entered his room, seen the open pages of his journal when he fell asleep at his desk, you knew what he had been planning. and you knew that reiner would have to go running back to the island once again, and even if jaeger's grand scheme didn't drag him there by his collar, he would probably go searching out his own resolution him.
you checked your watch. 2:10. it was your turn to check the patients in critical condition down the hall. you sighed quietly, pulling your hand away from his and leaning down to gently press a kiss on his forehead, something you risked doing a few times before when you had these especially long conversations that made your heart ache for him.
but at least, you thought to yourself as you flicked off the lights, reluctantly leaving the room and shutting the door behind you as quietly as you possibly could, at least you could give him just one night of repose.
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FAVORITE FANFICS OF 2020
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
I know I speak for all when I say....I cannot wait to toss 2020 out the door the way Uncle Phil constantly did with Jazz. One of the things that got me through this rough year, besides family & friends & BTS, were fanfics.
Itâs that time of year again where I make a list of all the fanfics that I absolutely adored. Some are by veteran favs of mine, others are new to me who just knocked it out of the park. If youâre interested in past lists, here is 2019âČs list and 2018âČs. If yâall are interested in doing your own fanfic favs of the year, please do so and tag me. Always on the hunt for new favs.Â
So without furhter ado, my fav fanfics of 2020:
1). Another Word for Forever series by stardropdream (sheith)
Summary: Shiro knows better than to expect love in an arranged marriage. This is all for the sake of universal peace, after all, and solidifying a Terran-Galran alliance. At the very least, Shiro can hope to make a friend out of this. Becoming friends would be much easier, though, if he and his husband could actually communicate.Â
With a language barrier and a mountain of cultural differences between them, getting to know Keith proves to be a challenge. Luckily, Shiro's always worked well with challenges.
2020 shockingly became the year of sheith. I ended up rewatching the show w/my bestie @littlenightdragonâ. Diving more deeply into it w/my other bestie @kila09â. She and I spent the better half of this year devouring so many fanfics of them in various AUs. I came across new fanfic authors, and stardropdream is among them.Â
If I could describe this series & stardropdream, Iâll take a cue from Lady Gaga:Â â talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to itâ
This series was just PERFECTION. Iâve gotten into arranged-marriage AUs and this has been one of the best Iâve read. It was just perfection. The language barrier definitely added an extra charm to it, in which Shiro finds his own ways to get to know his husband better: both creative and funny ways. So many cute moments, so many funny moments with Hunk being the translating middle man between them, and the smut. THE SMUT. THE SMUT. THE SMUT. Just *chefâs kiss* Incredible. It was just so so sweet, and such a comfort read. I reread this series 5 times already and hope Robin (the writer) does more stories in this AU.
Please read this series. Youâre not gonna regret it. It will MELT your heart.Â
Honorable Mentions:
If I Called You Mine
Sail Across the Sky Just to Get to You
Finding Shelter (The Alien Baby Remix)
Say You Do(nât)
2). The Golden Hour by @goldentruth813â (sheith)
Summary:Â After a space mission failure, Shiro loses his arm and his career. Two years later he's settled into a quiet and simple new life on his farm, but when a beautiful alien crashes in his field, he discovers the answers to his questionsâand possibly the keys to his futureâwill come from the stars.
Iâm sure no one, least of all Janel the writer herself, is surprised to see this author featured on this list. For now the 3rd year in a row. WOOOWÂ đđżđđżđđż She is the reason I got into shieth, and she just continues to put out amazing conent with them. This story by far has been the best sheâs done this year-possibly one of the best ever.Â
We have Shiro trying to have a simple life at the farm with his dog and animals. A curious BOM Keith who shakes things up with his boldness/innocence-and questions bound to test blood pressure, especially Shiroâs. Loads of cute moments, loads of funny moments, and also loads of oreos.Â
If summary and my thoughts donât sell you, only one thing will: reading it for yourself.
Honorable mentions:
Two Hearts in Bloom
Mountain Men
Home is in Your Heart
3). Spun like Gold by Neyasochi (sheith)
Summary:Â Though Shiro is currently operating his fledgling bakery business out of a decrepit food truck he got for cheap in a repossession sale, he dreams of something more: a cozy bakery and cafe on a tree-lined street somewhere, filled with the smell of fresh coffee and sugar glaze instead of diesel. A little money could go a long way to helping him get off the ground-- and luckily, Keith has money to burn.
Or: Keith takes care of Shiroâs financial woes, in exchange for a little sugar.
OMG, OMG, OMG was this story so sweet. Neyasochi already sold me with the baking/baker Shiro trope, but went a step further throwing in sugar-daddy Keith who knows his way around his manic family and cars, but when it comes to asking a cute guy out? What better way to make an impression than becoming his best paying customer? Â
Honorable mentions:
oh, devour me
Healing Touch
on your hand of goldÂ
4). The Destiny You Sold by @trysloraâ (drarry)
Summary:Â In which Draco knits, Harry makes wands, and things get very tangled up between them.
If thereâs one thing I love about fanfics is how they introduce you to tropes you never would consider before. Draco and knitting was a combo I didnât realize how much I needed until now. And I love the fact knitting played a big part of the accidental bonding. Also loved the fact everyone in their friend group shipped them like crazy. Highly, highly recommendÂ
5) Whatâs My Age Again? by @lazywonderlvndâ (drarry)
Summary:Â Harry Potter has had enough of pleasing the public, and his reckless tendencies are finally getting out of hand.
The Quidditch World Cup is only a week away; as Captain of the English National Team, Hermione has assured him that his immaturity wonât be tolerated by the Ministry.
And then Malfoy shows up.
(Inspired by the blink-182 song of the same name.)
Itâs no secret that Iâm such a fangirl of @lazywonderlvndâ. Any drarry story I read, I always love. Last year, I ADORED The Changing Lights, which was one of my favorites last year, and her updating/finishing the story was a massive highlight for me. I thank ya for that.Â
This story was honestly refreshing. Iâve grown so used to Harry being responsible, always doing whatâs right, that seeing a story where Harry pretty much has his middle finger in the air to âgood reputationâ, âbeing responsible,â because as he brought up: âIâm 25. Iâve been fighting all my life. Iâve earned my life to have fun.â
Okay, granted, it wasnât quite like that but it was along those lines. And I agree. After all he went through, Harry deserves to have fun. He deserves to be reckless and make stupid decisions.
Also, it was such a blast reading a story where Harry is the brat & Draco has to keep him in line. LOVED.
Honorable mentions:Â
Inside Your Mind
Aletheia
6). Chocolate and Pastry by agentmoppet, anemonen (drarry)
Summary:Â When Pansy bets Draco that there is no chance he and Harry could carry out a genuine romantic relationship, he and Harry form a plan. But as their fake relationship progresses, Draco sees a side of Harry he never expected. Harry is struggling with something, pushing it far down inside him where he doesn't have to acknowledge its existence. Draco starts to worry, and then he starts to care, and then... horribly... he starts to fall in love.
Do not let the title fool you like it did me. Title alone, I was thinking it was going to be a fun, fluffy story involving baking, maybe chocolate crafting. However....it was not that at all. It was more. A lot deeper. A lot more angsty. It explored mental health, PTSD and the dangers of loved ones ignoring the signs, and contained an important message:
You canât love someone out of their illness/disease/ addiction. Which is true and this story showed that.Â
7). iâm still here by owedbetter (zutara)
Summary:Â "You see me."
And somehow, that makes all the difference.
If thereâs one of the few good things 2020 has brought, it was Netflix bringing back ATLA to their library. Which in turn ignited my love for zutara & had me drag @kila09â into that ship.Â
This story was just incredible. The way it was written, it really felt like it could have been canon. Deleted scenes that a certain creator didnât want us to see. The way Zuko and Katara came together, starting from their peaceful friendship after the Southern Raiders episode up, becoming closer along the way.Â
I dare yâall to read this and not think OMG...is this secret canon bonus material? I definitely plan to read more by owedbetter.Â
8). all the what ifs i never said by rosegardenlake (sheith)
Summary:Â Keith is nine when he first notices Shiro. Shiro is gentle and quiet, always keeping to himself. Keith is rough and loud, running wherever his feet will take him, screaming on the top of his lungs into the wind. But despite that, they're a constant throughout each other's lives...if only that could be enough. As they grow, Keith just wants them both to be happy, but instead, he's falling apart.
Rosegardenlake is another sheith writer who I adored last year & adore this year as well. This was a story that I read during the beginning of quarantine-life and when I tell you the number of times Keithâs emotions of loneliness got to me, itâs a big number.Â
Keithâs struggle with life after high school, after peaking in school, and his mental health reminded me too much of where I was at 2018, which wasnât a good year for me at all, especially mentally. So that was triggering but it was also helpful since I saw how far I came. And it was beautiful seeing how far Keith came.Â
Also the relationship between Shiro and Keith was just beautiful. Itâs very funny how Keith was Shiroâs protector growing up and Shiro became Keithâs later on in life. Thereâs a chance your heart may be heavy, but will also be so swelled up with feelings these two bring it.Â
Honorable mentions:
Where the Light Doesnât ReachÂ
9). When Night Comes by Oh_Hey_Tae (BTS; poly ot7)
Summary:Â Jungkookâs tipsy, but heâs not buzzed enough to miss that he doesnât recognize any of the four dozen people here. And seeing as his friends arenât ones to ditch and thereâs no way theyâd play a prank this mean on him, Jungkook reaches the conclusion that he just walked into a strangerâs very expensive home, uninvited, and started eating their food and petting their well-dressed dog.
(Or: Jungkook shows up to the wrong Halloween party and meets the most powerful family in Seoul.)
I can easily say Oh_Hey_Tae easily one of my favorite BTS fanfic favs. Always come through with the stories, and this one was just amazing. We have Jungkook stumbling into a Halloween story, and soon enters into a intense, insane relationship with all six guys, who are already in a relationship with each other. Oh, and supernatural creatures at that.Â
You do see certain relationships are stronger, deeper. For example, a lot of moments between Jin and Jungkook. Vmin has their own story and moments. But it was just so amazing.Â
Fair warning. Halfway through, things get darker and Oh_My_Tae really loves playing readers diirty with the angst, but itâs so good.Â
10). peace-weaver by magisterpavus (sheith)
Summary:Â You will be the peace-weaver, his mother told him, smiling though her dark eyes welled with unshed grief. The one who brings two bitter enemies together and ends the bloodshed and death between us, once and for all.
But men will always crave war. The Galra, most of all.
Yet another arranged-marriage AU that I loved. This particular one is well-loved in the sheith fandom. I can definitely say itâs considered one of the classic fanfics thatâs been read or shared at one point or another.Â
The story itself reminded me a lot of Macbeth, involving murder and dark forces at bay. The dynamics between Shiro and Keith reminded me of Drogo and Daenerys from GOT, one of my fav couples there, which only made it all the more better for me.Â
I do credit the author for the creative approach they took with quintessence and Shiroâs role/persona as the Champion
Honorable mentions:
The Boy in the WindowÂ
Sheith Demon/Priest AU
A Matter of Scale
DirectiveÂ
Honorable mentions that I seriously wanted to add to the list but this post is already lengthy. All amazing, all greats reads by various writers yâall should check out:
Hold Me Tight, or Donât by snowfallen (yoonmin with a Mr. & Mrs. Smith AU featuring assassins and hitmen, secret identities, fake marriage, and a lot of smut)
The Prince and Pirate by Maniacani, @nerdherderetteâ (drarry with a splash of royalty and pirates. Perfect if youâre needing to fill in any Pirates of the Caribbean or Black Sails cravings)
First Kisses are the Best Ones by SashaDistan (sheith in a 50 First Dates Fusion heartfelt/heart-gutting story)
freely, as men strive for right by @bixgirl1â (drarry w/Harry explaining the many ways why Dracoâs the love of his life. we love to see it)
The Sacrificed by SasuNarufan13 (sasunaru w/ dark fairytale elements similar to Little Red Riding Hood & Beauty and the beast + feat. mpreg)
Chasing Treacle Tart (and Draco Malfoy) by xErised (drarry feat. lunch lady Draco + scheming Harry + loads of fun w/sweets & more)
Red Desert by @beatitudinembtyâ (taekook in a unique sci-fi AU; hard to explain but so worth a read
one way ticket to another life by starboykeith (sheith Hades x Persephone background)
Even So by lewilder (zutara; arranged marriage+ language barrier +soft strangers to lovers)
Well, lovely people, there you have it. My top 10 favorite fanfics of the year. I do notice a certain ship shows up a lot on this list, but I wasnât kidding when I said they took over this year. Still, I tried to mix the list up with other fav ships/fandoms of mine. To the writers who created these incredible stories. I applaud you. I thank you for creating and sharing these wonderful stories. Anyone interested in doing the tag, please do.Â
HAPPY NEW YEAR, GUYS
#favorite fanfics of the year#favorite fanfics#fanfic recs#fic recs#drarry#drarry fanfic recs#drarry fic recs#drarry recs#sheith#sheith fanfic recs#sheith fic recs#sheith recs#zutara#zutara fanfic recs#zutara fic recs#zutara recs#bts#bts fanfic recs#bts fic recs#taekook#yoonmin#ot7#sasunaru#sasunaru fanfic rec
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10 Steps to Attract the Life You Want
By Heather Mathews Author of Manifestation Miracle
âWhat you seek is seeking youâ - Rumi
   If I told you that you could create the exact type of circumstances you want, would you call me crazy?
What if your very thoughts could create ripples of change that not only impact your lifeâŠbut those around you as well?
Philip, a call center worker from the Philippines certainly didn't think so. He dreamed of moving overseas so he could secure a better life and provide for his family.
But at every turn, his own mind shut down every opportunity he thought of.
For instance, Philip considered seeing an immigration consultant, but he either âdidn't have the timeâ or âcouldn't afford itâ.
So, he resented his situation and cursed himself (and the world) for his âbad luckâ.
He didn't realize that the real culprit was his mindset - not his circumstances.
And it seemed like the more he ruminated, the more bad things happened.
Thus, he kept feeding the cycle of being stuck in a rut and feeling bad, trapping him even more.
That was, until his aunt Sara introduced him to the Law of Attraction.
Turning the tide
Before she moved to California, Sara had been close with Philip and treated him like a son.
She had her own share of struggles finding greener pastures abroad, but she applied the principles from the Law of Attraction to overcome them.
So she sent a few books on the topic to Philip through Amazon so he could gain the clarity to turn his life around.
Discover the Lazy Person's Secret To Get Everything You've Ever Wished For
-----Â CLICK HEREÂ ------
  At first, Philip didn't really think much of it, but he decided to read through the books since his aunt went through the trouble of sending it over.
After he started applying the lessons he learned from the material, things started to change for him.
It came as a complete shock to Philip - he never thought in a million years that making a simple shift in his thinking could have such a direct and POWERFUL impact in his life.
And soon enough, the fog of negativity and despair around Philip lifted and he found a way to make his dreams happen.
Through his persistence, he was eventually able to borrow the money he needed for the consultation fees, and learned the step-by-step process to get work overseas.
Philip was finally able to find a fulfilling and rewarding career in Australia. Not only does he get to support his family back home, he also made friends and enjoys his new life abroad.
Just a few months ago, Philip's parents started their own business, thanks to his help.
  At the rate they're going, his family could save enough so they can pass on their business to another relative and follow Philip to Australia. ould wait for Philip to take the offer so they can move there instead.
Whatever option Philip chooses, the possibilities for him are almost limitless.
But he's just one of thousands who made the Law of Attraction to work for him. Like Philip, a lot of people are initially discouraged to try because they think it takes a lot of work. Â
But the reality is that it's surprisingly easy to get started. You just need to follow these 10 Super Simple Steps to Attract Everything You've Ever Wanted:
MORE ABOUT Â Motivational / Transformational
Step #1: A little gratitude goes a long way
  The first thing you should learn about the Law of Attraction is that it operates on energy.
YOUR energy, to be exact.
Everyone has a different kind of energy they bring into the world, and it affects them in ways they often don't see or appreciate.
The secret lies in the FREQUENCY of a person's energy - and you need to raise yours in order to change your life.
Think of your unique energy as a sort of gas that fills the space of your reality. Whatever âgasâ or âenergyâ you pump out into your immediate space will define your existence.
Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, said this in his book, âMan's Search for Meaningâ:
âTo draw an analogy: a man's suffering is similar to the behavior of a gas. If a certain quantity of gas is pumped into an empty chamber, it will fill the chamber completely and evenly, no matter how big the chamber. Thus suffering completely fills the human soul and conscious mind, no matter whether the suffering is great or little. Therefore the "size" of human suffering is absolutely relative.â
So if you want to invite great things into your life, you need to set the stage first. And you can do that by leading with the right energy.
That's why being grateful and appreciating what you have is powerful way to recalibrate your frequency.
Most folks hold off on feeling this way for AFTER they get what they want. But that's putting the cart before the horse, as the saying goes.
When you LEAD with gratitude, it will act as the precedent for everything good that follows.
  Discover the Lazy Person's Secret To Get Everything You've Ever Wished For
-----Â CLICK HEREÂ -----
 What I like to do is start of my day by making a list of things that I'm grateful for. If I miss anything, I save it for later and update my list at the end of my day.
And when I go over my list during the weekend, I'll see exactly how much good stuff I've accumulated.
This creates a kind of snowball effect and helps me attract even MORE good stuff down the road.
MORE ABOUT Â Motivational / Transformational
Step #2: Be generous
  This can be a challenge for some people if they feel like there isn't enough to go around.
But if you take the initiative to SHARE whatever you can without asking anything in returnâŠ
⊠you'll generate the kind of energy that attracts prosperity for everyoneâŠ
âŠincluding YOU.
Again, this is the Law of Attraction at work.
Try offering your time, talents and material wealth to those who need it - you'll soon invite blessings without even trying.
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Step #3: Visualize your future
  What I find amazing about kids is how powerful their imaginations are.
When they role-play with other children, you can see in their eyes how REAL their games are to them.
This is something that's lost on grown-ups, and it's important to recapture that ability to envision the kind of reality you want.
The Universe likes to play games with us- the better you are at visualizing, the more you'll be rewarded.
Like I said, a certain type of energy attracts a certain kind of reality.
So if you focus your energy and thoughts on that dream job you want or the car you've always wanted to drive, you'll raise your frequency to ATTRACT those exact things.
MORE ABOUT Â Motivational / Transformational
Step #4: Let the negativity pass
  When the bad times roll in and you feel like dirt, sometimes it's better to step aside and let it run its course.
Having negative thoughts and emotions are totally normal, but you don't always have to wrestle with them.
You can simply acknowledge what's going on in your inner world - then CHOOSE to keep moving forward anyway.
Let this negative energy pass through your system like bad case of gas. The sooner you let it do its thing, the quicker you can get back to what you were doing.
(Sorry for the fart analogy, but it get the point across, doesn't it?)
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Step #5: Never stop growingÂ
 It's good to have a daily routine in your life, but not at the expense of your personal development.
Most people are so set in their ways that they're afraid of the thought of doing something new.
Then they complain about their humdrum lives, or that some folks âhave all the luck.â
Breaking out of your comfort zone is never an easy thing, but it's a step worth taking.
No matter how loaded your schedule is, find some chunks of time to do things that will help you grow.
Whether it's taking an online course, joining a community, or taking up a hobby, this is a powerful way to attract new and exciting things in your life.
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Step #6: Avoid the âtoxicâ crowd Â
There are people who seem hell-bent on pulling others into their world of misery.
Whether they're trying to lessen their own pain or simply enjoy doing it, you need to steer clear of them.
Instead, choose people who will have the opposite effect on your psyche. Not only does a person's energy attract circumstances, it's also CONTAGIOUS.
So make sure you hang out with the people who'll inspire you to achieve greater things - and not bring you down with apathy or inaction.
Learn How to Force the Universe to Manifest Your Dream Life -
CLICK HEREÂ
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Step #7: Give yourself permission to succeed
  Most of the world's most brilliant people were put down in some way.
Somewhere along the way, someone told them they'd ânever make itâ or were âdestined to fail.â
In your own life, certain people have tried to discourage you in some way.
They might have tried putting you down when you were growing up - or it could have been last week.
It doesn't matter.
What's important is that you understand that NO ONE can put labels on you.
And more importantly, they can NEVER give you permission to achieve what you want in life. You need to do that for yourself.
Don't let their words define your âstoryâ. You don't have to fit whatever petty narrative they're trying to force on you.
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Step #8: Affirm who you are
  Instead of feeding into the lies that people tell you, let this be the day to start living your truth.
Create statements that embody the truth you choose to be, AND to live in.
People do this all the time.
When Elon Musk tried to launch the world's first privately owned rocket and failed, he told himself, âI'm going to try again, and I WILL get that thing into orbit.â (Well, maybe not exactly like that, but you get the point.)
And so his company SpaceX went back to the drawing board and got it right after the third attempt.
Elon affirmed his truth and it manifested into reality. In the same way, you can choose to affirm whatever truth applies to you.
Be honest with yourself and acknowledge the things that TRULY matter to you.
You know it, and the Universe knows it.
The key is to repeat it yourself every day. For example, if you know deep in your heart that you want to make a better life for yourself, you can say something like this:
   âI may be struggling right now, but I know deep inside that I have what it takes to improve my life. I see myself transforming into a happier, wealthier person who makes other people's lives brighter.â
When you operate from even the tiniest shred of truth, you can grow that into a powerful force over time.
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Step #9: Fail spectacularlyÂ
 Here's something most people don't know about the Law of Attraction: before you can enjoy success and find true happiness, you need to crash and burn.
It's better to go after what you want and risking failure rather than playing it safe and not trying at all.
To create order in your life, you'll have to embrace the chaos that comes before it.
This is where you'll find the real lessons, even if they hurt a little.
(Or in some cases, a LOT).
Think of yourself as the beautiful Phoenix, like in the legends.
Imagine burning off bits and pieces of yourself that you don't need. As you rise from the ashes, you're reborn into a NEW YOU.
That's evolution. It may be an imperfect and unpleasant process, but the results are worth it.
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Step #10: Remove your BIGGEST barrier to success
  People don't realize that their greatest roadblock is none other than their own mindset.
They may say they want something to happen, but don't REALLY mean it.
For instance, someone might want to lose weight, but they don't want it bad enough.
Worse, they might not actually believe they can shed those pounds. A part of them refuses to acknowledge the faintest possibility of it happening.
This is pretty much why people NEVER attract the things they want in life.
In order to remove this barrier, you'll need to change something inside you.
You need to dig deep and understand WHY you don't want it as much as you say you do.
Are you scared of suffering through the process of getting what you want?
This is what turns most people off - they simply can't process the discomfort involved with growing up.
At the same time, you need to deal with the reasons why you think that your desired reality is impossible.
It could be some deep-seated beliefs brought about by past events, or experiences growing up. Â
Once you sort this out, you'll be free to do what you want without any pre-programmed beliefs holding you back.
Now, these ten steps we just talked about will get your foot in the door. Once you start doing them regularly, you'll experience remarkable breakthroughs you didn't think were possible.
But if you want to witness even MORE changes on a massive (or even cosmic) scale, you need to check out my FULL course called Manifestation Miracle.
Like the name suggests, I enjoyed nothing short of a life-changing revolution not too long ago.
In a lot of ways, my situation was the same as Philip's. I worked myself to the bone and felt unfulfilled.
I was trapped in my soul-crushing career. Even though I needed the money, I HATED having to put up a hollow appearance of a happy, successful businesswoman.
But then I discovered how turn my mind into a magnet for prosperity and abundanceâŠ
Learn how I unlocked the secret to ATTRACTING anything AND everything I wanted - CLICK HERE to watch the video nowâŠÂ
MORE ABOUT Â Motivational / Transformational
#law of attraction#attract abundance#attract wealth#attract prosperity#how to manifest#get what you want in life#attract anything#manifestation#manifest more money#Attract More Business/Clients#manifest wealth and abundance#manifest love#manifest health#manifest miracle#law of attraction business#manifest your desires#Manifest Snything You Want#manifest instantly#manifest quickly#weight loss#law of attraction money
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Can you make your top 10 aot characters that have a good development? Like Eren and Reiner are considered to be the best characters as 'characters' themselves
Anon⊠dear Anon, youâve been waiting for like a month I think, Iâm so sorry. I took this ask waaay too seriously lol, but yeah, I canât postpone it for any longerâŠ
I know you asked for top 10, and this is a numbered list, but I wouldnât call it a proper ranking, so the place doesnât really matter all that much. Otherwise this list wouldâve taken even longer, Iâm very serious about lists, it seems lol
Before I start I want to mention (just in case): I feel like âcharacter developmentâ isnât always about becoming better at something. Sometimes you can become âworseâ; sometimes you can get âbetterâ and then fall back to your old ways. Itâs just how the character changes, and the trajectory of that change can be very different for different characters.
1. Eren. I can talk about Eren for hours and hours, and I have talked about him a lot, so Iâll try to be quick this time.
Erenâs journey is very interesting and enjoyable to read. Heâs such an unusual main character. So aggressive at first, unlikable to some (not to us lol we adored him since day one), loud and stubborn. But itâs super cool to watch this hurricane of a person, especially as he gets calmer, starts controlling his emotions little by little, learns more stuff and understands the situation around him better.
I think Iâll talk about how perspective and knowing a bigger picture change the way character acts a lot in this post, but Eren is an ultimate example of this. He got every single thing: past, present, future, drilled in his head at one fucking moment. He didnât get a bigger picture, he got the biggest 5d picture with special effects. And he had no one to share that with: he had to deal with it himself, knowing that he himself is the reason for everything thatâs happening. It makes my head hurt to even think about that lol Itâs cool and unnerving to watch Eren, whoâs used to be such a fireball of a character, to just get⊠quiet and apathetic. We donât know what heâs thinking about, we donât know whatâs going on anymore, even though his emotions were always the most obvious thing about him. Itâs almost scary.
And the interesting thing about it is that nothing really changed about his feelings, at least I think so. Ultimately, the only thing he wanted is for his friends to be happy and live long lives, and who knows, maybe he saw that the âfreedomâ he was initially seeking for himself doesnât really exist. This is up to debate and definitely not for this post though lol
2. Reiner. Ohh Reiner. He was one of the characters who wasnât all that interesting to me personally at first, but as he got more and more complex and emotional, I fell in love with him more and more. This isnât a numbered list, but he is definitely one of the best written characters. And whatâs cool about him is that we see the reason for him being the way he is throughout the story: why he wanted to become a hero, why his mental state got so bad, why he was conflicted, why he got so depressed and why he was able to take responsibility for his actions. I love it when the story breaks its characters, and Reiner is certainly one of the most broken ones. His lower point (when he almost killed himself + cried and asked Eren to kill him) was very beautiful and painful to read, because we know why he feels that way and we know how smug and brave he was at the very beginning of the show/manga. And we know that it was all a lie, which makes everything even tastier.
And as much as I love broken characters, Iâm kind of glad Reiner found strength to continue fighting and to take responsibility for his actions (to some degree, at least). Not only he saw a bigger picture, he actually learned how to live with it. Iâm so happy they discussed the Marco incident with Jean, and that after Annie told that it was her who took his gear, Reiner stood up and said that Annie was following his orders. He also apologized to Annie for everything he did to her and Bert.
Basically, Reiner went from wanting to be a hero to acting like a hero, then to being an actual hero to Marley and feeling like shit anyways, then to just being a human being, something like that. And that scene with his mom hugging him and being happy for him being alive is actually a very sweet and satisfying moment. Especially considering how much Reiner wanted to die lol
3. Zeke. Iâve talked about it in one of the replies about ch137, but I love how Zeke went from âI shouldnât have been bornâ to âmaybe small moments of happiness make everything worth itâ at the very end of his life (what a cruel irony to realise that just before you die). Not only the character develops and changes, our view of him changes as well: I think Zeke was universally hated when he first appeared, but then he became more fun (dudeâs too charismatic), and then he became sympathetic and vulnerable. All of this was always inside Zeke, but it was hidden since Zeke is a lying snake. See, Zeke is smart, but heâs super sure that his views are the only valid ones and that his idea of freeing Eldians is the only solution. His views are surprisingly black and white: I suffered, Eren suffered and our dad is bad. And no one challenged his beliefs until they walk through Grishaâs memories with Eren in ch120-121, and then he realized that Eren didnât suffer at all and their dad is actually just a person who really regretted being a horrible father to his first son. I love that he got some closure with Grisha because he held that grudge for his entire life.
4. Grisha. He has a rollercoaster ride of a development lol: at first he was an innocent boy, then he became an angry boy, and then he kind of calmed his anger down for some time? But after learning what actually happened to Faye, his emotional wounds got open and all that rage blinded him again. And then, after being outed by Zeke, he lost everything, but had a harsh realization that by being driven by his anger only, he completely forgot not to be a shitty dad. He basically had a second chance in life, with a much better perspective about whatâs going on, but now he has his younger sonâs ghost haunting him and telling him to do thing he never thought heâd do. At different points of the story Grisha feels both like a mastermind behind things and like a pawn who doesnât have a choice even if he just wants to live a peaceful and happy life with his wife and kids. The irony of him killing a bunch innocent kids when this whole story started because he got his little sister killed? Delicious. Oh, and I really love the fact that he realised that he screwed up as dad and apologized to Zeke. He loved his kids a lot: Zeke, Eren and Mikasa too (he called her his daughter after all).
5. Erwin. Way more interesting than people give him credit for. Heâs mostly adored for being a badass, but he also has his own flaws that he had to deal with. Heâs like a moth thatâs drawn to the light, but right after burning himself and dying he kind of did âthe right thingâ that he had to do as a commander. Now, for me it isnât really about Erwin ending up doing âthe right thingâ to be honest: we would probably adored him is he ditched everyone and ran to the basement because his selfish desires ended up being more important to him. But that scene where he confessed to Levi that he really wanted to find that basement and just told him everything about his capricious and selfish childish desires, talked about how he lied to everyone including Levi basically just to prove his dadâs point⊠it was beautiful, because it was basically âI have to do it, havenât I? But I really donât want toâ. His character development is interesting in a sense that at first he was getting gradually more and more psychotic about his dream, doing crazy things even when he knows it might not be the best choice possible (like him risking his life instead of staying behind), but at the very end he stopped to think and⊠well we know the rest lol
6.  Armin. I remember people saying that Armin is just a narrator-like character who is here to explain thing (I probably thought so too at first), but this is so unfair. Itâs easy to make someone like Armin into this trope, and to leave him being a very one-dimensional dreamer whoâs smart but naive. And Armin is so much more than that. Throughout the story he has a lot of âI should have been the one who diedâ moments, and I love that this is such a prominent issue for him, but he still got over it somehow. Armin was kind of lost at the beginning, but found his role. And wow, he had to go through it again after he was chosen instead of Erwin, because the burden on his shoulders just got 100 kg heavier lol He also got less naĂŻve and more cunning with time and got much better at emotional manipulation, I think. While preferring a dialogue over violence, Armin still isnât pure, and he acknowledges that constantly, especially after his first kill, and things got even worse since that point, which definitely changed him. But his violence-loathing (kind ofâŠ) core is still there.
Armin ended up playing a much bigger role in the story than I thought he would be, I really love it. He has his moments of weakness, but he still pushes forward and takes responsibility and does his best. Oh and letâs pretend that the Annie thing never happened, it doesnât contribute anything to his character anyway.
7. Â Jean. I think Jean is the first character who starts showing character growth, and I believe his development is the reason he was Isayamaâs favourite for some time. Tbh, I donât find Jean annoying even at the very beginning: yeah heâs selfish, but heâs self-aware about it, heâs a realist. And heâs still a realist, but his conscience wouldnât let him just have an easy life while everyone elseâs suffering. I always feel like Jean is a spoiled mamaboy, so itâs great to see him showing that he can put others before himself. He also had an inner conflict similar to Arminâs: is it right to kill innocent people if you have to? Is it ok to kill not-so-innocent people because theyâre against you? I really like this theme in SnK just in general.
8. Â Gabi. Itâs no secret that I adore Gabi lol, and I think her character development is great. She was in her element when we first met her: she was confident, she was doing her best and succeeding, she knew the world around her so well, and then Eren took everything from her. People like to hate Gabi for killing Sasha and for being aggressive on Paradis, but I think itâs great that she didnât have an overnight change of heart. Itâs great that Isayama showed us her shock and her raw emotions, itâs more than natural for a child with her upbringing, even if itâs messed up. But I love it when stories take characters that are great at what they do, and they take them out of their element, to show them at their worst: lost, angry, broken and confused. I love that she understood everything herself and not because Falco told her âhey theyâre people tooâ that one time. She had to go through this hell to figure everything out, and I think itâs great.
9.  Historia. Historia was one of the least interesting characters for me (and for a lot of people, Yams included) at the beginning, and tbh I think itâs brilliant: we never saw anything in her; she was just a waifu material whoâs nice to others. It felt fake and boring, well, because it was indeed fake and boring, and to this day I cannot believe that that was the entire point. I love how Ymir made Historia realise that she needs to think for herself, but whatâs interesting about all that is that after Ymir left, she almost came back to her old habits. Which is also a development, and a very interesting one. The end of S2 was a high point for her (when she told Ymir that she isnât scared of anything when theyâre together), and then there was a very low point (when Ymir left), and then a high point again (when she remembered Ymir and Frieda and decided to act upon her own desires). Sheâs one of my faves now because of all that⊠Itâs sad she didnât have a bigger role post-timeskip, but I still appreciate her story for what it is.
10.  Oh god this is so hard to pick one and this post is already so long⊠can I just give you a bunch of quick honorable mentions?
Annie (who was a loner that couldnât really trust anyone but ended up showing her vulnerable and emotional side), Hange (started out enthusiastic and eager to learn more only to meet more pain and disappointment, crumbling under the pressure, but ultimately remembering her amusement with titans), Levi (granted itâs very subtle, but him going through Kennyâs death, Erwinâs death and his promise to him, realization that heâs been killing people all this time and other stuff fascinating and huge leaving a mark on him), Ymir (who got hurt and decided not to trust anyone anymore and to act selfishly, but ended up sacrificing herself anyway lol)âŠ. God, these short description sucks, they canât describe them properly. Also there are so much of them that I think have good development, and Iâm 100% missing someone⊠but I think Iâm done for now. Katsu Iâm sorry for making you read all this.
That you for this ask, Anon <3 and sorry again for being so late
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Summoning Ritual (2/3)
Author: @wordsfromthesol Taglist: @malfoys-demigod @pricetagofficial  @zphilophobiaz @queencommonsense @edenspolaroids @bonzhur @silverw19 @sleepingwithsirensfangirl1 @red-for-harleen Pairing: Tim Drake x Reader Summary: You try a summoning ritual, optimistically hoping to be reunited with your parents, but somehow end up in Gotham. At Wayne Manor. Doesn't this stuff only exist in comic books and television? Word Count: 1.5k
Part One  Part Three
It'd been a week and you heard nothing. A week running around the Wayne Manor â okay it could be worse, this was like a dream â but you just wanted answers. You wanted to be home. How could the spell have gone so wrong? You stumbled down the stairs and wandered into the kitchen to see Alfred making breakfast.
"Good morning Miss Y/N. I'm afraid you won't have company this early. It was a rather late night for our caped crusaders."
You gave a faint smile, still forcing the sleep from your eyes. "No worries Alfred. You're all the company I need." Your eyes shot down to the cup of coffee placed before you. "They haven't found out anything, have they?" Cradling the mug, you looked up at him, hope bursting through your eyes.
"I would not know miss." That wasnât the answer you wanted.
"They would tell me thoughâŠright?" The question was pointless, you knew them well enough to know the answer, but you asked anyway.
"I am sure they will tell you what they can."
You let out a deep sigh, the diplomatic answer. You weren't really sure what you were expecting, but that didnât help. An awkward amount of time passed before you decided to speak up again.
"Do you think I could get out of here for a bit? Go to a coffee shop or something? It's 9 am. Gotham can't be that bad at 9 am." You were trying to reason with Alfred as much as you were trying to reason with yourself. You've read the stories.
"I do not wish you to feel a prisoner, Miss Y/N. You may take whichever vehicle you like. But please also take this, it is equipped with a distress signal." Your eyes lit up as Alfred handed you the cellphone. Eagerly, you grabbed the device and headed for the garage. "Oh, and don't be gone too long. I fear Master Timothy would have my head."
"We wouldn't want that!" You called out behind you as you raced down the hallway.
**
Barely an hour had passed before Tim traipsed downstairs and into the kitchen. Alfred jumped at the sight of his half-asleep form rummaging through the cupboard. "Master Timothy, I did not expect you awake so soon. You only retired a few hours ago."
"HmâŠunfortunately Wayne Enterprises doesn't acknowledge my nightly escapades." Tim shuffled towards the coffee machine, mug in hand. "And my presence is required on a conference call in 10 minutes." Tim's eyes shifted around the kitchen, "Where is Y/N?"
"She decided to get her coffee elsewhere this morning." Alfred's calm demeanor made it difficult to get angry, but Tim managed it anyway.
"SHE WHAT?! And you let her?!" His voice echoed through the room.
"She is not being held captive Master Timothy. We must let her forge her own way, especially when the answers she seeks are sparse."
"Do you know where she went?" Tim tried to regain his composure, after all, Alfred did have a point.
"I do not. I did, however, send her with a phone." Tim jumped out of his seat just as Alfred finished the sentence and raced to the nearest computer. It was only a matter of seconds before he had your location.
"She's standing in an abandoned buildingâŠ" Unsure of the unusual results, he double-checked the information. When the same location appeared on the screen, Tim sat back in the chair with a puzzled look plastered across his face.
"Perhaps she is at a nearby intersection?" Alfred suggested upon seeing Tim's distress.
"MaybeâŠI'm going to check it out."
"Sir, your conference --" Tim was gone before Alfred could finish his sentence.
**
Tim found you standing in the middle of the abandoned building staring blankly into space. You seemed to be in a trance. "Y/NâŠ" He whispered as he approached you. As Tim gently placed his hand on your shoulder, your vision went black. You slumped down, losing all feeling in your body as a scene played in your mind.
"Fuck Z, what are we going to do?! I can'tâŠshe can't --" He looked down, staring at the tiny hand wrapped around his finger.
"I know. We have to let her go."
"And what? Just hope and pray that that fucking demon doesn't find her?!"
"No. We send her somewhere else. A world where he is just a scary story. A myth." The raven-haired girl looked down at the child with an overwhelming sorrow in her eyes.
"A barrier even he can't breakâŠ" The scruffy blonde man mumbled, realizing what had to be done.
"We have to say goodbye. It's the only way." A dark void appeared behind them.
"Y/NâŠ" the voice just barely broke through the scene which had begun replaying in your mind. "You're going to be okay." The next sentence came through clearly as the features of the abandoned warehouse formed around you.
"TtâŠTim?" Your voice cracked.
"Y/N!" Hope beamed through his voice. "An ambulance is on its way. Just stay still." Tim urged as he grasped at your hands.
"NoâŠno. I'm fine." You weren't entirely sure how you got here or how long you had been there. Did Tim come with you? "I just want to go home. Can we go home?" You closed your eyes as you pulled yourself into his chest. The motion was instinctive, you didn't realize what you had done until you felt him pick you up.
The solemn silence lingered in the air the entire ride back to the manor. Neither one of you could bring yourself to say anything. What was there to say? As the car pulled into the driveway, you let out a long sigh, bracing yourself to move again. Only as the car stopped, your feet stopped working as well. As much as your mind willed it, your body didn't budge from the seat. Relief flooded over your body as Tim opened the car door and gathered you in his arms.
**
You woke up a few hours later, only vaguely aware of this morning's escapades. You turned on your side, trying to piece together the events and shook at the sight of someone else in the bed. The momentary fright subsided as you recognized Tim typing away on his computer.
"UhâŠwhat happened?" You figured it must have been something bad since Tim apparently had left your side since.
"You're awake, how do you feel?"
"Dizzy and confused," you sat up and stared down at your hands, intertwining your fingers over and over again. "I remember an abandoned building. I don't even know how I got there, or what compelled me to go inside. "Then I heard your voice, and I woke up here."
"I got there, and you were just standing there. In the middle of the building. You looked as if the life had been drained out of you." Tim's voice hitched at the recollection. "As soon as I touched you, you collapsed. I was able to catch you just before you hit the ground."
"Was thereâŠuhâŠwas there anyone else in the room?" You urged him to continue, as two distinct faces plagued your memories.
"NoâŠit was abandonedâŠ" Tim furrowed his brows and shut his computer as he turned to face you. "Do you remember someone else?"
"I donât know. I keep seeing these faces. They seem so familiar â"
Tim cut you off before you could continue. "Y/N, there's something you should know." Without thinking, he took your hands in his. "About your parents." He watched as a confused stare settled on your features. "They are from this world. My world.â He let out a sigh, preparing himself for your anger. âZatanna and Constantine." Tim didn't need to say anymore, you knew those names. You knew those people.
"How long have you known?" You dreaded his answer, but you had to know.
"Since the day you got here." Your breathing grew heavy at his response, but before you could react, Tim continued. "I didn't want to tell you until we found them. We've put everyone on notice, and no one has seen themâŠwell since you got here."
"And you didn't think that was important?!" You got up from the bed, unable to sit still any longer. "Did you think it was some coincidence?" You scoffed at your own question. "Of course, you didn't. You're better than that. We both know you're better than that so don't insult me."
"I didn't want to present you with another problem, okay!" Tim screamed back at you as he joined you in the center of the room. His voice sombered, "I wanted to give you answers. You deserve answers. And I don't have them." You could tell he was just as mad at himself. Then, as if almost on cue, Dick raced into the room.
"Enough with the lover's squabble! We found them." Apparently, your argument could be heard throughout the Manor. Dick motioned for you to follow him. All your emotions soured, and you didn't know how you were supposed to react. You stood there, like a deer in headlights, until you felt Tim's hand intertwine with yours.
"Whatever happens I'll be right here." He whispered to you before tugging you out of the room. Â
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