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[madame-fear]

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[madame-fear]

Lucia por dios NO SABES LO QUE ME HIZO ESTE FIC, ESTOY TENIENDO MUCHÍSIMAS EMOCIONES A LA VEZ AAAAAA 😭😭😭💗💗💗

Te juro que un Enzo protectivo me mata,, no sabía que lo necesitaba hasta ahora??? ENZO POR FAVOR TE AMO UN MONTÓN, COMO SIEMPRE ESTO FUE UNA OBRA MAESTRAAAAAAA JSJDKDKKFR he’s our knight in shining armour!! 🥺😭❤❤

"In the embrace of dawn"|| Enzo Vogrincic x fem! Reader

A/N: Hi my lovelies! So this is a second part to "In the heat of the night" which you can read Here inspired from a message by my lovely @cyliarys-starlight who said I could not end it that way, so here we go.

TW: Brief description of domestic violence, mention of alcohol consumption, a bit of sex talk.

Please if you or someone you know is victim of domestic violence, reach out to the authorities.

Word Count: 2.3 k

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Enzo woke up slightly when he felt the body heat lacking from him and stretched trying to get his senses back awake as he looked around the hotel room, thinking maybe she was in the bathroom, or even had stepped out to get something to eat; so he frowned in confusion when he saw the note laying  on the bedside table as he read through it a couple times; still trying to make sense of it “This was good, far too good for our own benefit, but it was just in the heat of the night, you’re better off without me, believe me, I know it. Take care, have a great life, xoxo Y/N (your blue diamond)”- what could she have meant with him being better off without her, Enzo couldn’t wrap his head around it, of course, they had known eachother for just a hot minute, he couldn’t say he was in love, and he knew Y/N was guarded and hiding something  he couldn’t quite pinpoint, but he did know something, and that was that for once, when the tall guy was with her, he felt normal again, he felt warm, he felt like someone cared about Enzo, not actor Enzo.

He tossed and turned for a while on the bed before grabbing his phone to check the time, 6 am; he checked his schedule, he had just a few scenes to shoot today, he would go over to talk to Y/N right after, he didn’t care, he didn’t agree with the brunette on what she had said on her stupid note. He could take whatever she had to throw his way. He got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom reluctantly, not really wanting to wash away the night before, or her intoxicating scent from him, but knowing he needed to get ready for work. Once he was ready he made his way downstairs and to the cafe across the street to get some fuel in him before heading to the studio. The memories and images of last night still replaying on his brain in a merciless loop, the way Y/N’s lips tasted; how soft her warm skin felt underneath his; the way her breath hitched in the back of her throat when he kissed that specific spot on her neck or her inner thigh; he swore he could listen to the small woman breath out his name a million times and would never get tired of it.

Sure enough, three stupid scenes took up most of his day, his head already at the Velvet Lounge, or at the bar they had gone afterwards, even worse, his mind kept going back to his hotel room and he couldn’t think straight, he could still taste Y/N on his tongue, and he was more determined than ever. When Enzo could finally get rid of work, he made his way to the club, making sure to stop by a flower shop on the way, he had seen the tattoo of what seemed a Jasmin flower on Y/N’s lower back at some point and he got a small bouquet. He got off the Uber a block or so away and made his way to the alley, his hands shaking softly and his breath a little heavier than he would have thought it would be, he fixed his hair and clothes before knocking on the side door. He really thought he hadn’t done anything wrong  to make her leave and that she  wouldn’t have spoke to her friends about him in a bad way; his mind was spiraling so he was a little surprised when a slightly older redhead woman opened the door. “Yes? How can I help you handsome?” Cady eyed the man standing in front of her up and down, and it slowly dawned on her, this was the guy she had seen Y/N talking to a few times.

“Is urm…Y/N…Blue Diamond in? I need to talk to her, would you please tell her Enzo is here?” he smiled softly, bouquet in hand. Cady gave him another full look before humming softly and disappearing back into the building. “Y/N Honey!” she called out “There’s quite a hunk of a young man standing outside the door saying he wants to talk to you…Enzo he said his name was”. Y/N’s head snapped up from her journal so fast she got dizzy, the color completely drained from her face “oh…not welcomed? I can go back out and tell him to get lost” Cady pointed back over her shoulder, always protective of the younger woman.

Y/N sighed getting up and shook her head “no, thanks mama, not necessary, he’s not bad, on the contrary, he’s too good” she took a quick look at herself in the mirror, her gray sweats and oversized hoody covering her body-she had asked for the day off today, alleging she didn’t feel all that good-, she pulled her arms around her and walked out to meet him taking a deep breath before opening the door. Y/N was determined to just usher him away as soon as she opened the door; but the sight of the tall, handsome, caring guy standing outside clearly nervous as hell, with a bouquet of jasmins in hand and a worried expression on his face made her halt to a stop. “Enzo….didn’t expect to see you here, not after I left at 4 am and left that note” she looked down at her own feet when he looked her way. Enzo cleared his throat and moved a bit closer making her look up at him again.

“First, these are for you” he said handing the bouquet over “I saw a jasmin tattoo on your back and I thought I might be on the right track” he rambled on as she took the flowers -a small tight smile as a reply- “I must admit, I was a bit surprised when I woke up to that note, please, please tell me it’s not something I did…I couldn’t forgive myself if I wronged you in any way” he kept looking at her, big puppy eyes, concern plastered on his look as he fidgeted with the ring on his finger “I just…I wanted to come over and tell you, I don’t know what you’re holding back, I have no idea what you’ve been through, and I know we’ve only known each other for a bit, I’m not pretending like I know all about you, nor demanding to… I would never force you to share something you’re not comfortable with..” Y/N looked up at him, her eyes sparkly, small smile pulling at the edges of her lips as he rambled on, he was quite endearing and adorable-added to how hot he is and how good he fucked me last night, I could get used to the rambling- she thought but let him continue “I just want you to know, that you’re more than enough, and there’s no way something like what we shared last night, isn’t the best thing ever….I would love to, if you let me, get to know every nook and crany of you, inside and out, know your brain, know your heart, and take the time to mend it back together, protect you from whatever…whomever you might be escaping and protecting yourself from”. As he said that she pulled him in by his coat standing on her tiptoes she kissed him softly, a new sensation running in that kiss, it wasn’t the need and want that it had the night before, it was calm, it was safe. 

Enzo was a bit surprised to be cut short from his well rehearsed speech by Y/N, not like he would complain about feeling her lips on his; hands naturally and easily falling to her waist pulling her in gently to him, needing to shield her from the outside world in every possible way. When they felt like they needed to breath before they passed out, they broke the kiss and Enzo rested his forehead against hers. “You are adorable, persistent, but adorable” she whispered. “You’re also right, there’s a lot about me you don’t know, a lot that I don’t know if and when I will be ready to let out…but as much as I wanted to pretend that I was okay leaving you behind, it tugged at every fiber of my being, this somehow in some crazy way, feels natural, feels good, and I like it”. A slow grin spread across the taller’s face as he placed another kiss on her lips.

“This might be a lot to ask for, and please don’t think it is because I don’t like you being here, but I would love to spend every second with you… getting to know you, would you please come stay with me?” she bit her lip and looked down shortly thinking about what he was asking of her, she closed her eyes and in the first act of trust she had shown in god knows how long, she nodded. “Please give me a few minutes go grab a bag of my things?” she looked up at him, she still felt terrified, and out of sorts in ways, but something about his presence, his warmth, made the weight on her shoulders get easier to bear; Enzo placed a chaste kiss on her lips and nodded. As Y/N walked into the building, she found Cady, Astrid, Michelle and even Andrew piled up on the other side eavesdropping and looked at them with a quizzical look. “Excuse you?” she said.

Astrid smiled and with her thick russian accent said “Whoever your prince in shining armor is, can’t he take me with him as well?” Y/N laughed and nudged her playfully going to pack a small bag. “You know that  whenever you want to, you have a place and a job here sweetie” Andrew said and she looked back at them “it’s not like I’m leaving for good, I’ll just go for a few days and be back, I still need to work” she said her goodbyes and walked back out the door where Enzo awaited, he wrapped his arm around her waist protectively and walked back to the hotel.

~~~

A month or so had gone by, and the familiarity between them made Y/N feel safer than ever, like she could tackle whatever came her way, she also knew that filming was almost over for him, and soon he would leave the city. As she got some snacks for them, while Enzo waited on the couch she took a deep breath, she finally thought she could tell him her story. Deep in thought she made her way to the couch sitting down. Enzo looked up from his phone “what’s troubling you babe?” he said in that soft mellowy voice of concern that Y/N had gotten to know quite well in this time together; she nodded softly sitting down.

“Remember how you told me you would never force me to share my story?” she said barely above a whisper, Enzo put his phone down giving Y/N his undivided attention now- everything else could wait, the world could wait- and nodded; “well….I think that….if this is to be anything more than a passing fling to end when you leave New York in 2 more weeks…you deserve to know” he frowned at all the beating around the bush, but he let her, whatever she was getting ready to say had to be really important and he laid his hand on her knee in a protective way to encourage her. The petite woman took a deep breath and fixed her eyes on a loose string on her cardigan and started talking. “When we first met, I had just started working at the Velvet Lounge….I got there, because I got to New York with nowhere to go, anyone to turn to, I am….I’m originally from a small town in the state of Missouri, called Rocheport, and… I had just left, nothing on my back but the clothes I was wearing and a backpack, I urm…I’m married…my husband…his name is Luke, and one night, he…he got drunk, as he usually did but that night he got mad, and he…he…” she bit her lower lip, feeling some tears running down her face she quickly wiped at before going on “he laid a hand on me, so as soon as he passed out from the booze, I left, enough money for the bus ticket out of there on the first bus I found and I ended up here, so I… I just felt like I couldn’t trust…anyone really” she tentatively looked up from her lap to find an Enzo she had never seen before, jaw tight with tension, dark eyes, but not the dark she was used to see when they had sex, no, this was different, he hadn’t realized his hands were in fists. “please don’t look at me differently”she whispered.

He looked at her his gaze softening when he heard her say that “oh baby, I could never” he whispered bringing her close to his chest. “I just wish I could have protected you from that son of a bitch, I want to protect you every day of my life, as long as we’re together, nothing’s ever gonna harm you again, and that bastard better pray I don’t ever cross paths with him because I will not care, I will kill him; I swear I will kill him.” Y/N held onto him face buried in his chest feeling it raise and fall rapidly from his breath “Thank you for letting me into your world” he whispered in her ear “I’ll make it my life’s work to make yours better if you let me” she looked up at him, eyes glossy with tears and he leaned down cupping her cheeks as he kissed her deeply, in a way that let her know that no harm could ever get to her ever again, not as long as he was beside her, not as long as they were together.

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@cyliarys-starlight @madame-fear @luceracastro @candycanes19 @lastflowrr @koiibiito @espinasrubi @castawaycherry

[syoddeye]

ill-advised

simon x f! reader | 1165 words cw: simon being a gross creep, terrible advice, slimy internet culture, bad usernames, unsolicited nudes a/n: wrote this silly thing on my phone. lightly edited. been thinking about how simon would be the world's worst agony uncle. enjoy a few easter eggs.

Simon doesn’t have a God complex. No. He leaves that to the Simulation 5 streamers who build complicated dungeons beneath their character’s cottages, forcing others to labor on paintings or crochet projects to sell and support their captor’s livelihood. Not that he…watches those. No, no. He’s simply seen more than his fair share of depravity. Some of it at his expense, some at others, and more than a chunk of it dealt by his own two hands. He knows how the world works. How people work. He knows his shit, plain and simple.

So when his schedule allows, he logs on after midnight. His username and password are two alphanumeric strings, but people recognize the cluster of digits and letters. Wait for his comments. Follow his account. Send him stupid digital gifts, some useless currency to dress up his default icon. The amount increases daily, as does his following. His own little cult.

He doesn’t care about the numbers. Not really. He just loves dishing out his honest opinion, and nobody’s safe.

AN [Advice Needed] Family forgot to invite me on a trip, expect me to go last minute Hi, it’s like the title says. I (25 M) live across the country from my parents, siblings (all all adults), nieces, and nephews. I am the only one who lives on this coast, but I try to visit twice a year. I recently reached out to my brother to see when he thinks I should come visit in June and suggested some dates. I know it’s only February, but I want to save money on airfare. He responded: “Isn’t that when we’re going to Hawaii???” It was the first I heard of it. It turns out my parents invited my siblings to Hawaii and planned a family vacation without me. I confronted my parents about it, they swore they invited me too then said I could send them my share of the bill for the resort and book a flight. Like it’s no big deal. I can’t afford to go and I don’t want to go, but I feel really pressured. And sad! They forgot me! Who am I, Kevin McAllister?

> 35J0G39GH6: Find out the resort name. Cancel the reservations. Cease contact.

Within seconds, a dozen upvotes. A minute later, a hundred. Up, up, up. And the replies? Oh, the replies. He smirks at the cracked phone screen.

>> michaelEthelcaine: Fucking brutal as always >> c0y0t3fug1y: LMAO it’s this simple OP - this dude is never wrong >> patcemetery79: I DID THIS BACK IN 2003 FOR A FAMILY REUNION. A REAL RIOT! HAVEN’T BEEN INVITED TO ONE SINCE@ HILARIOUS!!!!!! I LOVE YOU 35J

Simon receives a fair share of downvotes, too. Negative comments. He doesn’t give a shit, but some of them are fucking hilarious.

>> grasshopperwhirlpool: Not funny. Be better than this asshole, OP. I’m sure it was a simple mistake. >> thewildrumpussy: really mature advice. who shit in your coffee?

Every few weeks, a morally righteous do-gooder encourages people to mass-report him, and he gets a slap on the wrist. The idiots come out in droves after some of his more choice replies, like worms after a heavy rain. The most recent offense?

AN [Advice Needed] My husband (35 M) forgot my (33 F) birthday My husband of three years forgot my birthday. No flowers, cake, or gifts. When I came home from work he asked about dinner. I lost it, turned around, and left. I’m at my sister’s house now (and she started baking when I called and told her what happened!) but he won’t stop blowing up my phone. He says it’s because he’s been so busy but here’s the thing: he forgot last year too. I really love him but I’m tired of this treatment.

> 35J0G39GH6: Have your friend take you home between 3-4 AM. Cut his brake lines. Go back to her place. Wait for the inevitable.

>> 6polyesterbutthole9: i dont care if this is illegal its funny af >> passtheaggression: Hand to god, you need your own forum dude.  >> gordonramsme55: Where are the mods on this??? This shit is going to get someone killed. Report this psycho. >>> puffalo: Agreed I think this breaks Rules 3 & 5, reporting now >> austrianPrincess: not saying i did this but when my boyfriend’s brakes failed, i got a big check, OP!  >>> gordonramsme55: This is what I’m talking about!  >>> 6polyesterbutthole9: get that check >> tech60nyneme: WOW someone check this guy’s crawlspace. reported and blocked

That one earns him the most severe ‘punishment’ yet: A month-long commenting ban. No skin off his nose, he's deployed days later, anyway. If anything, the radio silence winds his followers up, their excitement a palpable thing when he gets out of forum jail. He rewards them with another series of blunt, to-the-point pieces of advice. 

His absence makes one particular fan particularly hungry, and a little desperate.

He’s no stranger to unsolicited dick and cleavage pics from his followers. They flood his inbox, giving him a side hobby of delivering pithy degradation the sick fucks seem to love. Saves the best for his private collection. 

But then he gets a picture from some cute thing with a comment about him being her favorite person on the Internet. Knelt all sweet in front of her mirror, haloed by a ring light, white lace barely hiding the goods. His eyes snap to her tits—where his ridiculous username is scrawled in sharpie. There’s nothing to critique except maybe the laundry in the background of the shot. Tugs his cock to it, then clicks her username to check her comment history, and wouldn’t you know. Her location is public on her profile. She’s a couple hours away from her idol and doesn’t even know it. 

>> 35J0G39GH6: Perfection. >> YN10282022: Oh my god, I didn’t think you’d reply. >> YN10282022: You know, a few months ago, you gave me good advice about my creepy boss. >> YN10282022: I posted about the stuff he’d say to me. >> YN10282022: It took some time, but I was able to record him. Sent it over to his wife on their anniversary. When he accused me, I told him HR was getting the next copy. >> YN10282022: I got a promotion and a raise, and sent the file anyway. >> 35J0G39GH6: Good girl. >> 35J0G39GH6: I’ll be in your neck of the woods in a week for work. >> YN10282022: Really?? I’d love to meet up! >> 35J0G39GH6: Probably shouldn’t. I’d advise you against meeting me. >> YN10282022: They do say you should never meet your heroes. :) >> 35J0G39GH6: Shouldn’t meet strangers off the Internet, either.

She still sends him the address of a cafe. It matches one he finds on her social media an hour later. She seems to be a frequent customer. Simon grins at his screen, the sole light source in his dark room. He taps back to her pretty picture.

She looks like an angel.

[bomikalover]

Helloooo i am ✨ bored ✨ soooo i say…..

CHARACTERS THAT DESCRIBE UR MUTUALS/FRIENDS

I saw a post like that a while ago, it was funny so i say do it!

THIS IS SO FUNNNNNNN

Up first is my girl, @bomikasworld

Mori, the character I see you as is Allan (Barbie)

You are just so scrawny white man-coded. (WATCH THE MOVIE.)

Next up, @lvsciously

Lee, the character I see you as is Chapa (Danger Force)

You are Chapa without the anger issues, like you're super chill and kinda closed off when we first met (online) and now you are one of the wackiest people I know and are the life of our virtual parties. And you both are girl kissers labeled or not (Plus ur character goes hand in hand with Maly's)

Third is @maliisvoid

Maly, the character I see you as is Miles (Danger Force)

Maly, you are so chill and such a vibe but also just as eccentric and loud as the rest of our lil internet friend group lol. You are extremely outspoken and overall a great friend to have. Plus you and Lee are so Chiles coded (PLATONICALLY) it's insane.

Up Next, @dollmelaniee

Mels, the character I see you as is, Austin (Austin and Ally)

Mels, I see you as the Austin to my Ally (platonically ofc.) you are my biggest supporter but also just one of my best friends on Tumblr. You make this place feel at home and I love you girllll <3

Last, but never least @lalasknives

Lala, the character I see you as is, JJ (Outer Banks)

Lala, you are so chaotic, loud, extra, and annoying at times. But that's why I love you. You light up every conversation we have, you are so loyal and such a big support to all of my projects. You are the definition of a ride-or-die. I see you as my little Italian sister and just know that you are a forever friend in my books.

That's all I'm doing for now, but lmk if you want me to do more. I love my friends so much <33

[blitzxiiru]

Your Future 2012 AU is choice stuff. Your drawing style is so fun! Seriously, your representation of Leo is one of my favorites to exist on the internet.

Curious what April would be like? More pointedly, what Donnie’s attitude towards April these days?

THANK YOU FOR THE KIND WORDS ANON!! and omgomg i have the privilege of my leo being someone’s favourite im sskhsjhdjsbss <33

before i answer the question, i have to state that i’m not exactly big on shipping in the 12 tmnt verse, especially when the writers fucked up all the love interests and their plot (COUGH karai being leos sister and they still push them together?!? COUGH) (COUGH april, casey and donnie were just a whole mess COUGHS CHOKES) so i don’t exactly ship anyone. it’s just a me thing, but if you like apritello or jonatello or all of them together it’s fine! you just won’t see them as a couple canonly in my future au, cause to me they’re all just very close besties that like to tease each other :) maybe ill draw them if someone specifically requests for it, but otherwise i wont actively ship them lol

soo moving forward with that set in place, in my au donnie isn’t looking through rose-coloured glasses at april anymore. honestly with the way 2012 writers wrote them, it was more of obsessive infatuation rather than love, and it really wasn’t healthy. after the whole fiasco post season 5, donnie is much more mature now and realised that he wasn’t in love with april herself, he was in love with the idea of her. the concept of april that he fabricated in his lovesick brain. they talked about it, and they both got over the situation. so yeah april stayed as donnie’s ex crush and everyone teases the hell out of their teenager selves. at the end of the day they stayed as besties who discuss how to murder someone while wearing 10 inch tall stilettos

(( the wake up call for donnie would be after that episode where possessed april literally fucking disintegrates him. like he suddenly just had this ‘oh my god’ moment where he realised maybe this crush thing wasn’t as worth it as it seemed. don’t blame the poor guy for losing feelings — he literally got poofed into nothing but atoms by the hands of his crush — spare his feelings LMAO ))

[madame-fear]

CHICASSS DEFINITIVAMENTE NO ESTOY GRITAANDO CHICAS AAAAAAA HZJZNSKDKEIKSKSJSJNDND AY POR DIOS ESTE HOMBRE ME VA A MATAR!!!! 🤤🤤🤤💕💕💕💕

AI GRNTE 😭😭😭😭😭

Os cenários do Enzo na praia tomando solzinho são REAIS DEMAIS

[battlemaiden13]

ahem so i found your fanfic hnd a few years ago and i can confidently say that its my favorite insert reader fanfic, i like all the skeles but i was just asking what if you added dust/murder sans? I am a hardcore dust/murder simp and i would love if he was added (and a bunch of others namely my sister-) and i noticed there was a lack of dust/murder sans fics in the internet, i mean.. 32 + 1 is 33 its hardly a difference :)

( Of you cant or dont want to its absolutely 100% ok! Its just me asking :) )

Look, look, you're right, one more not a big deal. In fact the original plan was to have Dust and not Killer in the story but after some research (and it’s been a while since I did this research so it might be out of date now) but when I did some research Dust’s creator didn’t really want him shipped with anyone because he just wouldn’t be romantically interested in them, Killer was created as a counter to this with a similar story to Dust but with the capability to fall in love. 

I wanted to respect the creators wishes on this since HND is a harem. That's the only reason he isn’t already in the fic. 

It would be pretty cool to have him show up though and try killing MC only to have Killer step in and the two have a very want to kill each other vibe happening. Currently there is no plan to put Dust in HND though, sorry.

[mimiteru]

I ACCDITENTLY PUT MY NITARA HC OUT OF THE DRAFTS WHAT I DIDNT EVEN FINISHED WRITING 😭😭

dude this is what happens when you have shity internet Dx i know there was a option to edit but before i realize that i deleted the post 🔫 idc anymore i'm gonna write it again

how tf does this app work i'm sorry mutual who reposted my draftJDKS

ANYWAYS MY NITARA DELULU HC LETS GO

tw: death of a character, mentions of vomit

• Remember Kahil? You know the vampire who once was user of the datusha/kriss and bc of it's power he kill most of the Vaeternus, moments later he commits suicide trapping the sword with him?

Well lets put more emotional damage and say this was a relative to Nitara, maybe a brother why not

(i rewatched the Nitara intros and her mother also died damn, that's rough buddy)

they had a really strong bond, so Nitara was broken and devastated by his brother's tragic end, and after a long time of grief, this "revelation" as she would say, came to mind. From this time she tries so hard to save her so no Vaeternus could face the fate of death

And you know, "trying" is a strong word, the coven at this point are kinda tired of her all the time visiting them and bringing her failed ideas

The coven are like: "yeah yeah you know why don't you go and try to take over outworld or something" as a joke just to get rid of her.

And she did go to Outworld so..

• Now, her voice... It's not the best, it's so monotone and she doesnt realize it

But now i can't stop thinking about her with a valley girl accent, the way she would say the word "like" repetitively in one sentence is insane

There were times when Havik just rip of his own ears to not hear her, she talks a lot

She likes to do monologues, i feel like it's normal for Vaeternus to have this... Theatrical way of speaking, that goes on and on

Nitara does not know how to lie, if you dig enough she would accidentally say the truth or let out her plans without knowing

• At first the interactions Nitara has with Rain were harsh but later he starts to understand the big problem that the Vaeternus were living in, so maybe these two will be allies in the future??? Please??

Tho at this point she is trying to persue ppl to help her cause, whether it's from the good guys or the bad guys, and not even god itself wants to make a solution to help the Vaeternus yeah she's fucked

With the fictional dead family i create around her it makes a little bit of sense when she's trying to make Smoke a vampire too, Nitara sees herself since the guy also lost his mom and sister

or instead he sees her brother in Smoke, which is kinda creepy and dark but thats how my girl copes <33 /j

• The Vaeternus have a way to go to Earthrealm from centuries ago, this could mean that the vampires have more noledge of human traditions, slangs and even technology than Outworld does

This can also includes Earthrealm pop culture, influencing the way they dress or act, there could be Vaeternus who moved to Earthrealm permanently, hiding in the shadows

Imagine miss girl tries to make chitchat with Havik, Darrius and Sareena making a Earthrealm references and everyone just look at her like "wtf r u talkin about?"

This is chronically online comunicating with normal people

Nitara finds Earthrealm movies about vampires fascinating by the way of how they portrayed her kind, bc sometimes those movies are so wrong and sometimes they are so accurate its scary

She finds the "familiar" character to be very useful, she will have it in mind and maybe find one of those to help her look for food and other plans

• There was a time when the vaeternus didnt need blood to maintain their survival (idk if it was on Liu Kang or Geras intros) and there was were other things they could have feed on, but little by little vampirism began to be part of their nature that it was impossible to change their ways, condemning their own species.

Trying to get back to a normal diet probably would take another millenia

And if they eat or drink something no blood related i imagine them vomiting A LOT and with a horrible stomach pain, not the best moment for a vampire

• Her eyes glow in the dark

Once Nitara tried to sleep upside down bc she saw it in one of those movies, and she find it so comfortable??? It's kinda embarrasing for her but she keeps sleeping on that position from now on

She's a failure, she's a loser, and i think that's beautiful

Yeah i don't have more to say, also

WWDITS MENTIONED‼️‼️

Yeah that's it bye

[xxmurd0ckm1gra1n3xx]

I SHALL HARESASS YOU

0: Height

1: Age

2: Shoe size

3: Do you smoke?

4: Do you drink?

5: Do you take drugs?

6: Age you get mistaken for

7: Have tattoos?

8: Want any tattoos?

9: Got any piercings?

10: Want any piercings?

11: Best friend?

12: Relationship status

13: Biggest turn ons

14: Biggest turn offs

15: Favorite movie

16: I’ll love you if…

17: Someone you miss

18: Most traumatic experience

19: A fact about your personality

20: What I hate most about myself

21: What I love most about myself

22: What I want to be when I get older

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

25: My idea of a perfect date

26: My biggest pet peeves

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

30: What I hate the most about work/school

31: What my last text message says

32: What words upset me the most

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

34: What I find attractive in women

35: What I find attractive in men

36: Where I would like to live

37: One of my insecurities

38: My childhood career choice

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

40: Who I wish I could be

41: Where I want to be right now

42: The last thing I ate

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

44: A random fact about anything

datz a long ass lizt bt ill do it

0- 6'1"

1-19

2-UK Size 9

3-Rarely

4-Yes

5-Not Actively, bt If I wuz offered weed I'd do it

6-16

7-They'll come. Not yet

8-Absolutely

9-Nah

10-Not rly bt they might happen

11-They aint on here bt dis guy whoz gone off clock when i needed him. Legend him. Alzo dis girl whoz been around da clock 4 mi at ma low pointz. Legend her.

12-Single

13-Black Hair

14-Those stupid fluffy curlz on boyz/Rly short hair on girlz.

15-Wreck It Ralph

16-I'll luv u if ur able 2 actually support ma complete insanity and keep up (I leave a VERY strong impression)

17-Good question. I kinda miss ma old friend from primary school. Wi kinda drifted after 2022.

18-Bit 2 good of a question cuz I got a nice ot of em. Id say ppl tryna vaccinate themselves from touchin mi az 1, da guy who attempted 2 scare mi outta school wuz no.2. Bein SA'd by a girl who'd kick mi between da legz if i tried tellin anyone for 3, And alzo iv had an ex ambush mi @ ma house, false accusationz, and doxxin. Therez more bt datz abt it 4 nao.

19-I CAN get enraged, bt az of nao I'll only ever acc rage in private. There iz a door in ma room i hav ripped off itz hinges.

20-I don't rly hate myself, bt I'm dense, so wi'll say dat.

21-Crazy willpower. I will walk thru a lionz den.

22-Graphic Designer.

23-Ma sister and I r v different and she often snapz @ mi, bt I care abt her more than mozt family memberz so I try ma bezt 2 help her when she haz problemz. Idt she liekz talkin 2 mi tho.

24- Dad iz good. Wo take a lot of shit from each other bt i feel I can push a bit more w him in a more friendly sorta wae, and he doeznt mind mi likin boyz and girlz. Mum iz da matriarch, takez everythin out on mi if she'z stressed, and if she believes smthn iz right 4 mi she wont stop until I submit (whoch nearly cost mi ma lief when I had 2 havma appendix removed), and she triez 2 comvimce mi i only liek girlz and will call mi obsessive if i mention it 2 her.

25-I never rly thought abt it. I liek keepin it simple. I guess a movie or an arcade, then assumin it iznt an early date, cuddles. I liek physical contact.

26- Da wae da wordz 'Cis' and 'Cishet' r spelt, sound n r said. They feel liek they defy english. Idk how 2 describe it bt it juzt feelz uncomfortable 2 say and hear. I think itz cuz 'Cis' soundz liek 'Sis' (az in Sister) and I read 'Cishet' az 'Kish-ett', bt idk.

27 I dont liek anyone liek dat atm. I dont often get crushes, bt when I hav itz alwayz been smo who r wilin 2 let mi lean on em when I'm not doin 2 good or havin a break.

28-Idt theyd want mi describin em 2 da internet

29-I uzed 2 hav a big lyin problem in secondary n 1zt year college, ive said a lot of reazonz abt em bt in truth itz cuz I felt I had 2 save ma skin. I dont rly feel actively threatened by anythin anymore, so I don't hav any reazon 2 lie.

30-I hate work cuz I cant GET any standard jobz, and da 1z I CAN get I cant do cuz of ma physical disability. az 4 school i didnt acc mind doin da lessonz n shit, bt HATED bein forced into clubs or extra classes (remidialz).

31-From Voice Actin- "Yeh Im Yasuhiroin abt"

32-"Pathetic", "Ungrateful", "Normal" and "You Throw It Back In My Face". I heard em 2 much from 2 many ppl and idw hear em no more

33-"R u a boy or a girl", "ur cute", "Hair".

34/35- Consider these da same response. I liek when ppl r somewhat liek mi cuz I genuinely believe I'm da only 1 there iz of mi. Liek I said earlier, If u can keep up w mi and r acc interested. Alzo no facial or leg/arm/torso hair- I HATE dat. Even on myself. im nearly hairless.

36- Changes a lot. Currently idt i'll ever leave da London area (Im juzt outside of Greater London). I do wanna move away tho.

37- I freak out a lil when ppl see ma left arm (i usually cover it w a glove). Alzo Im kinda scared abt becomin useless or liek a freeloader typa person. UK better fukkin fix da job market.

38- Inventor, I think. Probably still could, bt I lack da money.

39-1 scoop Cioccolatta and 1 scoop Pistacho, juzt liek Giorno Giovanna.

40- Andy Black. Ofc I prefer longer hair, bt hes aware, articulate and intelligent. more or less everyone'z ideal friend.

41- In a house I own somewhere closer 2 da south of London, in ma room w a big double bed.

42- Cheese n Onion Toasite (or Grilled Cheese n Onion). An easy go-to if ur absolutely starvin.

43- Brendon Urie. Im sorry Ryro fanz bt I find Brendon unexplainably attractive.

44- Judo and Karate r essentially da Defensiv and Offensiv sidez of Jiu Jutsu respectively, so combinin em will result in smthn close 2 Jou Jutsu.

[madame-fear]

Why do all of their respective roles as cops fits so well??? My mood is a mix between Pardella and Fran. The only serious ones would be Enzo & Kuku, this has me howlinggg 😩😂💗

THIS WOULD BE SO LAW & ORDER CODED BUT ON CRACK AHSJDJD I vote that, when you have time, you could make it a crackfic 🤭 PLEASE TAG ME WHEN YOU POST THIS MASTERPIECE, I FEEL SO TEMPTED TO READ IT AHJDJFF

GOD BLESS YOU FOR THIS IDEA, LSDLN CAST BOYS AS COPS I LOVE YOU. Thank you for making me obsessed with this new trope, love 😂💗

My fucking college tuition just went up, again. Tf do they think I am? Paris Hilton? Catch me committing manslaughter, the victim could be my dad or our dumbass president, who knows? Maybe both of them.

[madame-fear]

Send this potato 🥔 to 5 people

Just cause tatos are cool!

Yayyy! Thank you for the ’tato, sissy!! Let’s do either some mashed potatos, or fried potatos! 🤭💗

[pillow-anime-talk]

{♡} 4k followers special ; CLOSED!

Hello everyone! On the occasion of 4000 followers at my account, I decided to make a small special! This is a ‘Quote Prompts Special’ where the sentences will have an impact on the plots! Some of them will be SFW or suggestive and some will be NSFW! I hope you all will like my ideas just like before! I was doing something quite similar around the time I hit 1000 followers i.e. ‘Kissing Prompts’! For a next month (August) I will receive your requests and write them one by one :)

I. How to send a request?

Choose the number and one character you like (if the prompt looks like it has two or more characters then add more than one name). You can also give me your pronouns (if you don’t, I’ll write the story in neutral form!). Also! The examples below are just examples. You can write which ones you are interested in or leave me the right to choose. When it comes to NSFW prompts, you can tell me what you definitely don’t want to see!

for example: ‘10 + Poseidon from RoR + pregnant female reader’ or ‘ 33 with Sakura Haruno and reader with he/they prns’ or ‘Dio Brando and Joseph Joestar plus 53 but without cheating’

{!} Then send your request to my request/ask box.

II. Please be patient! I will write each request one by one.

{!!} Also, here are my Masterlist and MyAnimeList account to see what I would like to write! I am happy to write about characters who don’t have their lists yet, such as ‘Yakusoku no Neverland’, ‘Beastars’, ‘number24’, ‘Oshi no Ko’, ‘Kaguya-sama: Love is War’, ‘Blue Lock’, ‘Vanitas no Karte’ or anything else rated higher than 5 on my MAL.

sfw prompts;

for example – fluff, comedy, crack fic, school/college!au, kid!fic or family!fic and also pet!fic, isekai, turning into a child or animal, royalty, cute romance, friendship, idols or streamers or models!au (etc.), internet friends/lovers, flower/coffee shop!au, enemies/friends to lovers, love at the first sight, soulmates!au (colors, tattoos, red thread), song!fic, pranking someone, sharing a bed, staring at the stars, date!au, soft angst (like first quarrel, misunderstanding, wrong number), mention of crying, pregnancy/marriage, gender swap, [...]

1. “Let’s watch some movies from Studio Ghibli (or Disney, or Pixar)!”

2. “... Do you want to stay with me for the night?”

3. “Are we gonna fight? Like fist to fist or rather... lips to lips?”

4. “Shut up, I’m listening to Big Time Rush.”

5. “... but I love your sister/brother.”

6. “Haven’t we met before?”

7. “You’re so dumb!”

“No? You’re dumb.”

8. “Bring your ass over here. I wanna some cuddles (or kisses).”

9. “Why did you do that?”

10. “I’d kill for you.”

11. “I– I like both of you...”

12. “But we are not married.”

“Then marry me.”

13. “Look into my eyes and tell me that you’re not lying. Do it, I am waiting.”

14. “Need some help, shortie?”

15. “Wow, I didn’t know that you could play on the instrument.”

16. “I haven’t been feeling well for the past few days...”

17. “The princess/prince shouldn’t wait, you know?”

18. “I have some good news and some bad news too...”

19. “I’m pregnant.”

20. “Why are not you listening to me?

... I’m very lucky to have you, you know?”

suggestive prompts;

for example – romance, making out, soft smut (including first time, masturbation, oral sex, body worship, general vanilla, etc.), angst, single parent or orphan!au, supernatural things (like demons, vampires, werewolves, zombies, fairies, etc.), dysphoria & misgendering, -shaming in general, diseases (like ed, amnesia, hanahaki), lovers to friends/enemies, mention of blood/vomit/faint, miscarriage, fake relationship, tattoos and piercing, bruises and scars on body, domestic or relationship violence, alcohol consumption, sexual harassment, [...]

21. “You’re drunk.”

“... But you’re drunk too.”

22. “You’re so ugly.”

“Yeah, I know that.”

23. “This is my b-blood?”

23. “Goodbye.”

24. “I’m a monster! Can’t you see it?!”

25. “It’s just a prank! Stop, please!”

26. “It’s not that I hate you, but if you were on fire and I had a bottle of water, I would drink that stupid water.”

27. “You look beautiful. This color suits you so well.”

28. “Stop being a brat.”

29. “Please! Please, don’t leave me!”

30. “Stop talking such nonsense, it’s not true!”

31. “Don’t cry.”

32. “Its all my fault...”

33. “Let’s stay like this forever, please.”

34. “Don’t touch me!”

35. “Haha, look at them. What a freak!”

36. “Your partner won’t catch us... What are you afraid of?”

37. “I don’t think they love me anymore.”

38. “You love flowers, right?

Yes... I love flowers very much.”

39. “No! It hurts, stop, please!”

40. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

nsfw prompts;

for example – hard angst, death (including suicide, murder, accident), mental illness, hard smut (including normal sex, non-con/rape or dub-con, hurt-comfort; 69, size kink, voyeurism, breeding, food play, etc.), ons, bdsm, threesome or gang bang, sex pollen, public or semi-public sex, cheating, manipulation or grooming, age-gap, police!au and law court!au, general abuse, a/b/o, gore or horror, monsters, guns and illegal racing, drugs or alcohol abuse, other triggers, [...]

41. “Of course. I am yours. Only yours.”

42. “... You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid.”

43. “It was an a-accident, I swear...”

44. “Do you have anything else to say, fuckdoll?”

45. “Should I fuck you? So beg for it.”

46. “I hate myself, you, this life and everything else!”

47. “Yes, I did it on purpose. Any problem?”

48. “They were such a good person. Too bad they died.”

49. “I told you this is how it ends.”

50. “S-Stop. Someone is looking at us.”

51. “Maybe in the next life we will be in love. Who knows?”

52. “I’m so scared. I don’t want to die.”

53. “Wanna join?”

54. “I’ll kill you next time.”

55. “You really think someone like me would love someone like you?”

56. “It was my sister/brother!”

57. “What the fuck are you two doing?!”

58. “Please, leave me alone. Stop... Stop...”

59. “I wonder why they did it.”

60. “See? Not everything is like in a fairy tale.”

navi | status | masterlist | rules | ko-fi

[kaija-rayne-author]

I wrote something hard today. It's long. Please mind the content warnings, this one is heavy.

We Must Remember

ON DECEMBER 30, 2023 BY KAELENRHY/Kaija Rayne

Content Warnings: AIDS epidemic, queer death, queer abuse, child abuse, child neglect, mention of attempted rape, sexual harassment in the form of catcalling and whistling.

My generation of queers, the ones who came of age in the middle of losing most of a generation of our queer siblings… we don’t talk about it.

It’s got to be pretty obvious why we don’t. I can’t think of a queer person who knew they were queer who didn’t lose someone. And we all lost when it comes to some people. Freddie Mercury, for one, the lead singer of Queen. He died a day after announcing his diagnosis in 1991. He was 45 years old.

And there were so many others.

I’ve been aware of the lack of people who lived through it talking about this for a while. But it really brought it home to me when I asked my eldest, who is openly queer, if they knew what the AIDS quilt was. They didn’t. And generally, they’re interested in queer history, so tend to be better informed than a lot of queer youth about our collective history. It helps that I was a history teacher at one time and have always lived and breathed teaching it to anyone willing to learn.

So, here’s a story from a time I hope never to see again, but one which, when I look at the world, I deeply fear is coming back.

The moral panic we see now is like déjà vu for people like me. It was this exact same moral panic that caused medicine, and most of humanity, to completely ignore it as loved ones died. To treat human beings without the care or respect any human being deserves simply by drawing breath.

I grew up in the mountains in a very Christian cult-like atmosphere. It was honestly so close to being an actual cult. There really is such a minuscule difference. But it wasn’t an official cult. Just… very poor people backbiting each other any way they could. Praying like good people on Wednesdays and Sundays, but doing anything they wanted every other day of the week. You’d think with all the mountains around, they’d have anything better to do than gossip. But gossip ran as life’s blood. The internet didn’t yet exist in private homes in that piss hole in a snowbank. There were 3 churches in the town, and 6 bars. For 300 people. The closest store was a good 20-minute drive away, the closest library an hour.

Christ, it’s hard to remember these things. It’s been 33 ish years since this story happened in real life, and I still don’t want to revisit it.

But it’s important.

The memory of this day is ingrained on the inside of my skin. I can almost feel the heavy summer sun.

Sad Summer Day

I’m around 14 years old. I’m barefoot, because my family doesn’t see the point of buying shoes for summer wear. Feet toughen up just fine.

I’m wearing a fourth or fifth-hand t-shirt that is far too see-through and cut-off jean shorts. The tickling of the strings falling against my thighs as I walk is a soothing sensation to me. I’m finished with my chores, the horses are cared for, the dog fed, the abusive younger sibling has stopped screaming and throwing things at me because I wasn’t a suitable big sister and had gone to hide in her room. I’m an embarrassment to my allistic sister. I’m an embarrassment to my mother too. If she ever crawls out of the bottle long enough to give a shit about anyone. My brother lives elsewhere.

I stink. I don’t know that or understand it, but I stink. Getting clean means swimming in a scummy mountain lake most evenings. My mother hasn’t taught me anything about personal hygiene. She smokes like a damned chimney and always smells of booze. There is no way I don’t smell bad. We had bath nights once a week in the winter. The only reason I knew my period was a thing was school health class.

I hang around in the barn a lot. Or in the ancient maple tree in the pasture. Ar Bazara is my beautiful Arabian mare. Her hide is the stunning red of particularly vociferous sunsets. She often patiently lets me lie on her back with a book open on her rump while she grazes. My new goat, Esmerelda, is still adjusting to not being the house goat she was used to being. She’s miserable, mourning her friend and old life. I do what I can, but it doesn’t help very much. Goats grieve as much as humans do, maybe more so.

It’s my job, and escape, to walk to town and get the mail for my father, who works more than not, and can’t get to the post before it closes at 5pm. I have no idea when or if my mother will come stumbling in blind drunk.

I hope to see my friend, who lives at the top of the road to the post office. He hasn’t been feeling well. Wrapped up in a quilt in his mother’s rocking chair on the porch is how I’ve been finding him lately. It’s not very odd, it never gets truly warm in the mountains, so people in heavier clothes or a blanket around their shoulders isn’t uncommon. I think nothing of it.

He’s a relatively recent addition to my life. He moved into his mother’s house last year. Esmeralda had been his, but he’d asked me to take her last week and love her like he did. I really don’t see it coming, or maybe I don’t want to add up the clues.

He’s my only friend there. He looks much older to me, but in reality, is likely in his late twenties. He wears dark tortoise-shell rimmed glasses, always has interesting books to read and ideas to discuss. He’d made it out of the mountains, so has seen so much more of the world I long desperately to experience for myself. His butterscotch blond hair is always a curly mess, and he’s always running his hand through it. I hope I can sit on his porch steps, picking at splinters, while he tells me another story. I’m not supposed to talk to him. No one does in that town. We might catch it, if we do so much as look at him. But I like him, and he treats me like a combination of younger sister and wild animal. He always speaks in such a gentle, calm tone. A tone I never hear at home. Except for the day he gave me Esmerelda. He couldn’t talk through the tears he was trying to hide.

My aunt lives next to him and warns me away every time she sees me. I suppose she likely told my parents, but my parents either aren’t there or are drunk. He’s the only adult in that town other than my grandmother, who even sees me. Much less talks to me like I’m a person. My aunt is happy enough to take his money to make an extra portion of food for him when she cooks for her family every day. She drops it off on the porch and will only take the dishes back if they’re soaking in bleach water when she comes to get them.

I’m tanned dark brown. My mother kicks us out as soon as the snow melts and we’re expected to stay out until dusk. But I’ve got my summer colour, my hair is frizzy from the yearly perms, and sun-bleached. The stench of lemon juice in my hair is still strong, but I know better than to not use it every morning. Having my mother yank the black, spiral hairs out of my head hurts worse. But I hate the smell of lemon juice in my hair.

It’s a short walk to a mountain child. Though if you’d called me a child then it would’ve infuriated me.

I am still a child, a very naïve one. I only know the words gay and lesbian because I’ve read the OED cover to cover. But they’re nascent, formless concepts to me. I’m in the midst of my first crush. A girl in my class with the prettiest brown eyes and lush, curly hair. But, I’ve told no one.

There’s sand on the sides of the beaten-up tarmac of the road. I’m avoiding walking on the road itself because prickers from wild roses and blackberry bushes are vastly preferable to burnt feet.

In shade areas, the mounded sand is cool, a treat to dig my toes into, and there’s a place where rain makes interesting patterns in the sand. I stop there for a short time to look at the swirling patterns in that section. It’s different every time it rains.

The air is heavy, like a wet wool blanket, presaging another evening rainstorm. I cuss because it means I won’t get to swim that night. If I want to rinse off, it’ll be in the cold rain. Hopefully, there won’t be thunder. Loamy earth and the particular faintly metallic scent of slightly damp, lichen-covered stone coat my tongue with a musky taste. The lighter, higher sweet honey note of spreading dogbane makes the walk smell like a slice of heaven. They’re poisonous, of course, but they’re beautiful and one of my favourites. Bunchberry shows little red splashes of colour. Orange hawkweed is blossoming, and so is the milkweed. Soon there will be so many monarch butterfly caterpillars I’ll have to watch where I step. The unnatural stench of old, oft-tarred tarmacadam adds an unwelcome element of human activity to the interesting scents.

The forest sings, murmuring to each other with the slight breeze that’s the only coolness I’ll find unless it rains. And the creaks and groans of the poplar and birch trees provide a symphony. I walk by my grandmother’s house. She’s outside tending to her flowers and checking the bird feeders, so I wave instead of meandering over. My grandmother loves to talk. I’ll stop on the way back. I’m later than usual going to get the mail because of my sister’s abusive outburst.

My hands are stuffed in the far too small front pockets of my shorts. My hand is tightly wrapped around the mail key. I always hold it in my fist, my father says it’s a trust, and I don’t want to blow it. A hopped-up pickup truck with a custom paint job, jacked tires, and glass-packs roars by. The boys inside and riding on the bed cat call me, but I don’t understand it.

By this time in my life, my mother has dived into a bottle and never looked back. She taught me to drink on hanged man’s bridge when I was 11. Vodka. She’d already moved on to vodka from wine by that time. In a lot of ways, I didn’t have a mother anymore, if I’d ever really had one at all in anything other than the physical sense.

It’s 1990. Big hair is falling out of fashion, but I still have the perm that my (at the time) stick-straight hair needs to look like Bon Jovi.

It’s mid-summer, the sun is high in the sky and it won’t get dark until after 9 pm. I won’t have to go inside until 10. The voracious bugs are preferable to listening to another argument. And Gram will let me in and likely feed me. Maybe my brother will be there.

As long as I’m on my father’s or grandmother’s land by dusk, I don’t have to go inside. The crab apples aren’t quite ready, but I pick one to eat, anyway. The bitter, tart juice is still green-flavoured, but it fends off my hunger. I didn’t get to eat my food; I cleaned it up from where my sister had thrown it at the wall and took it out to the hens. I wonder if they like grape jam?

It’s not the first time I’ve been hungry. Hunger is basically my ground state. So much so that I don’t even feel it when I’m hungry.

I pause on hanged man’s bridge. Just for a moment, while I warily scan the church parking lots at the end of the road.

They’d kicked me out when I was 12, but if the minister sees me, I’ll get scolded for breathing. I’m lucky, the lots are deserted and I continue on my way.

There’s no tree cover here, but there is down by the water. The beavers are busily building a dam that the men will burn come fall. It makes me sad because I can see kits with their parents. Beaver has a lot of fat in the fall, so it’s good meat.

I turn left at the end of the road and walk past another not-so-distant relative’s house. I stop for a moment to pet the Percheron workhorses who obligingly hang their heads over the fence so I can pluck handfuls of fresh green grass for them. Their slobber on my hands is green, but it doesn’t register as anything other than something to wipe off on my butt. I love these gentle giants, but the sun is lower in the sky, so I hurry on. I pass two more relatives’ houses. I have a tendency to walk with my gaze on the ground, partially to make sure I don’t step in anything, but partially in hope of finding a new, interesting stone or a bone for my collections.

So, I just… don’t notice. I’m in my own head a lot, working on stories. I started writing 3 years before.

There’s a sharp, rattling sound I associate with caster wheels and I look up.

My friend isn’t on the porch and he can’t tell me any more stories.

The glaring canary yellow of haz-mat suits screams brightly from his faded house. They look like aliens to me. Fierce, terrifying aliens. We don’t have TV, or rather, we don’t have TV reception, so the only reason I know what the suits are is because of my long habit of reading encyclopedias.

One of them is roughly handling his body as the other wraps a second roll of cellophane around him, over and over. They’re great yellow spiders as they finish wrapping my friend in cellophane and put him on the emergency bed from the ambulance. There aren’t any lights on, it’s turned off, and the driver has his booted foot hung out the window while he looks at a playboy. He whistles at me and winks. I hear one of the aliens say the body bags are too expensive to waste on trash. One of them fetches a floral sheet from my friend’s home. They wrap him in that.

I stand there like a rock has landed on my head.

I’m mute. I can’t even make myself move to go yell at them for laughing over my friend’s body and trading slurs for him as if it’s a game. Even if I were brave enough to confront adults. Which, I am not.

They very carefully take the gurney to the ambulance, avoiding all possible touch with the cellophane cocoon. The straps are so tight around my friend’s body that if he could feel them, he would have cried.

The doors make a doubled, muffled thump and the engine of the ambulance starts. It jerks me into movement, but I’m too late. They drive off.

They haven’t closed his kitchen door. So I do it, thinking in that odd way that he’ll be sad when he comes back to find it left open. I never have seen inside his house and I don’t breach his privacy as I close the door.

I have no way to lock it, and he told me he hasn’t any family left.

I step quickly down the top of the searing hot grey metal culvert cover to my aunt’s large backyard. I’m grateful to not run into my cousins. One of whom has already tried to rape me. I can fight him off if I have to, again, but all I need is to escape. I hopscotch across the brook and into the old potato field. I leap like a yearling deer from one mound to the next before I can disappear myself into the forested lands on my dad’s property. I practically live in the forest, and my friend’s habit of treating me like a wild animal isn’t off. I am.

The next thing I clearly remember is hugging Esmerelda’s neck, finally understanding why he’d asked me to take her.

Finally understanding a lot of things a 14-year-old probably shouldn’t have to think about.

I never did get the mail that day. I had to scour the area I’d walked to find the mail key I’d always been so careful not to drop.

Years later, when I was 19, and I’d escaped those fucking mountains, I was in university and doing very well. The only semester I didn’t hit the president’s list was the semester I had mono, and I still made dean’s.

I and a couple of others had recently been thrilled to get the B added to the LG group (lesbian and gay). Bisexual erasure is still prevalent, and it was worse then.

It was meeting night for the club, and one of my friends, one of the first openly gay men I knew while understanding what that meant, had a square of heavy white cloth. He explained it was for a project to remember those we’d lost to AIDS.

I took it home to my dorm room that night and feverishly embroidered a little grey goat wearing a green collar and a shiny gold jingle bell. I’ll never know why he named her Esmerelda.

The last time I visited those mountains, just before our move to Canada… I walked over with my eldest on my hip to look at my friend’s house. The door gaped open like a missing tooth in a smile, but no human scavengers had touched anything. (In those mountains, scavenging is a way of life. It’s a testimonial to their prejudice and discrimination that his home wasn’t pillaged.) The roof had fallen in at some point, always a danger in those mountains, from the weight of snow. The porch step I’d sat on to listen to his stories had fallen off and lay almost rotted through. I stood there looking at his house for probably longer than I remember. They’d closed the post office. The workhorses had been sent to make dog food when the man of the house died and his widow couldn’t care for them. Pound for pound selling them to the butcher was more practical.

My mother sold Ar Bazara just before she left my father. My beautiful mare had died at her new owners from pneumonia not long after I’d graduated high school.

Fall asters bloomed, making shockingly bright splotches of colour around his house. No one would even go close enough to do the neighborly thing and mow the tiny area of land that went with the house. Perception was everything to those people. It wouldn’t do to be perceived as less than a ‘good Christian’. So it spoke volumes that no one had shoveled the roof or mown the lawn. The only way people survive up there is by banding together when needed. My cousins may shoot each other (true fact) but they’ll band together if someone threatens from outside.

My grandmother was gone. Still with us in the flesh, but Alzheimer’s took her from us long before she actually died. She didn’t even remember I had a kid.

My father had cut the ancient maple tree I’d loved so much for firewood years before, sometime when I was in uni.

There weren’t any horses anymore. Esmeralda had gone. She never recovered. The sweet, gentle goat I’d agreed to love turned vicious and mean. I didn’t know how to help her and no one I dared ask could help. My father made me get rid of her when she butted him in the knee.

I kissed my little one’s head when he reached up curiously to touch a tear on my cheek. I doubt he’d ever seen me cry before that. I don’t cry easy. My therapist has me working on relearning how to cry.

That isn’t a problem right now. I can barely see to type. No matter how many years pass, I can’t forget the tearing, sticky sound of the cellophane as they wrapped my friend up. I can’t forget the things they said about him while wearing those stupid haz-mat suits. Which they hadn’t even been wearing correctly. I can’t forget and it’s so bloody hard to remember these things, much less talk or write about them.

Within my lifetime, we’ve seen amazing changes in queer rights. But I, and a lot of older queers, are watching the current political climate of the world and… we could so easily lose everything we’ve gained.

Trans people are always the canaries in the coal mine; always the ones sacrificed first. They will come for the rest of us.

If you’re queer, don’t ever fall into the trap of thinking it’s ancient history. I’m currently 47. This day happened 33 years ago. Don’t fall into the morass of thinking our rights can’t be stripped from us.

They can. And I fear, deeply, that they’ll strip our rights from us again. We could so easily fall down the slippery slope until all of us are disrespected as my friend was. He died alone. And I suppose I should be grateful my aunt noticed right away, that anyone noticed at all. He was a pariah. He’d come home to die after his partner did, only to face massive social exclusion by people he’d grown up with. My aunt only fed him for the cash. Even then, barter was still common. Hard cash wasn’t always easy to get.

I went to the cemetery to try to find his grave and plant some flowers on it. I found where it was supposed to be. Right on the very edge next to the pine forest. Just a slight depression marking what was likely a cheap pine coffin, if they even paid him that much respect. There wasn’t a crematorium anywhere close by. So they’d stuck him as far away from the other dead people as possible. As if the dead could catch it. We didn’t name it. It was the illness variety of the boogeyman. If you don’t name it, it can’t find you.

Starflower had grown to cover the area, so at least I know every spring he has a blanket of small, ethereal white flowers. We lost most of a generation of queers due to medical negligence and reprehensible cruelty from humans to other human beings.

But these stories shouldn’t die with us. Queer youth need to understand what we lived through so they don’t get too complacent. I’ve fought for queer rights since I was 14 years old.

My eldest can just be openly queer. Something I’ve never been able to be except for a few short years in university.

I don’t want to see us lose our rights again.

I don’t want another misunderstood, abused, hurting queer kid to have to watch as their only friend is wrapped in cellophane and denied the honour of a body bag. Denied the honour of a decent grave with a simple headstone.

We’re already losing queer rights. Please don’t be complacent.

Phew, so… I’m a sobbing mess. If my work of words touched you, please consider a tip or becoming a patron. We live in poverty. My husband is recovering from one of the likely three back surgeries he needs for his broken back. We have two autistic/ADHD kids and finding a job is impossible. I’ve been looking since January 15th, 2023. I have $50/$1220 I need for rent for January. We can’t get any government aid because I’m an immigrant.

Far too many queer creatives live in poverty. I’ll do a series of these memories as I can. They’re very emotionally difficult for me to write, but I feel they’re very important things.

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[madame-fear]

AY GRACIASSSS AAAAAA 🥺🥺 ME SIENTO COMO UNA MAMÁ ORGULLOSA CADA VEZ QUE LA HALAGAN POR SUS OJOS VERDES 🥰💚💚💚

My baby Olivia🩵

@madame-fear @castawaycherry @creative-heart miren a su sobrina !!!

[nicollekidman]

Hey Abby! Sorry to bother you, but I honestly view you as a big sister presence and I don’t really have anyone to ask about this, and I’m kind of freaking out haha. So I’m going to be graduating from college soon, and I’m really excited to be done with school (unless I go to grad school in the future). However, all the Real Adults in my life are always telling me that being out of school and having to live in the real world is infinitely harder than anything school has ever thrown at me. I’m honestly completely terrified. So I guess I’m just quickly wondering if you find this to be the case (that actual adulthood is way worse than college)? And if you have any tips for how to adjust and how to live? I’ve never not been in school for my whole 22 years of life, yknow? I can’t even fathom what it’s like to not be in school, and it’s scary as hell. You totally don’t have to respond to this if you don’t feel like it or if it’s too personal or anything! Thank you so much anyway. You are truly such a special and valued presence here and I hope you’re doing well 💛

hi sweet pea this is so sweet and you sound like a dear <33 kind of messed up for the real adults in your life to winkingly be pessimistic about leaving school tbh!! here's the thing, even in the last six years since i graduated (yoinks) life is so different....... but honestly i don't think "living in the real world" is harder than school - i don't think i really had full awareness of myself until i left and got a little older, and i don't have any nostalgia towards those years at all tbh. if anything, college was brutal.

leaving is a transition for sure, it's one of the biggest life changes you'll have experienced up to this point and requires different strengths and skills, but it's just like any other change. scary for sure, jarring absolutely, oftentimes impossible and irritating and depressing and horrible but like. that's life baby!!!! and that was also school! there's no wall between college and Real Life where suddenly you're stranded on the other side and everything is unfamiliar to you and you won't be able to handle it.

job interviews feel like tests and require some of the same skills, finding a place to live is like trying to make a home out of a cinderblock dorm, shopping for food and feeding yourself is just as much a sisyphean task, you still find things to look forward to every week and to give your days structure, it's just now up to you to decide what that structure looks like. being alive is sometimes a hard task, but that's true of everyone no matter if you have the familiar safety net of school, or if you're grown. the real secret is that most of us still feel like kids faking our way through the day-to-day, and what is important is knowing that you'll get through it, and the biggest transformation is how many choices you have. you'll have panicky moments in the beginning but you'll rely on your loved ones and you'll find big and small joys you never dreamed of in school, and suddenly you've made a life for yourself that feels familiar and warm (or exhilarating and exciting, if that's your chosen speed!).

tldr...... i think sometimes adults forget how scary and hard life can feel even as a teenager and a student, and the amazing wonderful magical thing about breaking out on your own is that every experience you have, whether it's difficult or a breeze, will prepare you for the next one. you will develop the skills and relationships you need to keep going, and that's it! there's no answer you need to get right, there's no monster you need to beat, you just get to wake up every day and build the tapestry of your life. transitions are scary but you'll always have support even if it's just me being your internet big sister. the real world won't always feel like a mystery to you, soon it'll just be the place you get to call home, the place where your loved ones live, the place where you can make a difference and forge a path and build something for yourself, as big or as small as you want, with whatever time you have.

[idyllic-affections]

Hi there! So i wanna say, I LOVE YOUR MAMA XIANYUN POST THAT YOU RECENTLY POSTED!!!! I had wanted to say something about it after i sent that HSR request but i got busy for a bit so yeah.. Although i have questions, what’s a colt..? I tried looking it up on the internet and i dont think the results i got were right. Also can we expect any bonding scenes with Shenhe and Ganyu? When i was reading that post, i originally imagined Shenhe teaching the reader how to fight with a polearm but now, i imagine Ganyu would teach the reader how to use a bow (bc i cant help but imagine the reader and Yaoyao fighthing side by side, with the reader shooting down any monsters coming their way and Yaoyao striking down those who were already near them. Ganyu and Shenhe, Xianyun and Madame Ping, a long range fighter and a close range fighter fighthing side by side. Can you see what im trying to say here..?) although i have to ask, what kind of weapon do you think the reader would use in your opinion?

(Also im glad you like my HSR request ^_^)

- 🐱 Anon

hehe i'm glad, beloved <33

a colt is the term used to refer to baby cranes! apparently little cranes called colts because of their long legs. of course, it is also one term used for young horses, and horses are super fast. i made it a point for xianyun to make note of [name]'s youthful swiftness, so... for those two reasons, she calls them little colt <3 and yes! you can absolutely expect those interactions at some point within the series. i'm not sure when, but it will happen.

OHHHH IT WOULD BE SO CUTE FOR [NAME] TO USE A BOW AND BE THE LONG RANGE FIGHTER IN THEIR FRIENDSHIP WITH YAOYAO there will be a lot of bonding scenes with shenhe, but i haven't thought of as many for ganyu yet, so i think her teaching them to use a bow would be the cutest! and i feel as if it's somewhat fitting for them to use a bow.

now that's got me thinking about what their vision would be (and how they would get it).... both their big sisters are cryo, but that doesn't match them imo. anemo would be cute to imagine because then they would match their mama 🫶 but idk! if you have any thoughts on that, i'm open to hearing them c: