#my group has been cheerfully doing this for a year. other groups apparently have RIOTED

[lovesodeepandwideandwell]

Guy in my small group (whom I love dearly) is always like "are we really doing enough, are we doing what a small group should, can we do more for the Lord" and I have answered him before that we are literally the best small group in our church, but now that I have an inside perspective, WOW are we the best small group in our church

[bopinion]

2021 / 14

Aperçu of the Week:

Talk less, smile more! (Hamilton, The Musical)

Bad News of the Week:

My favorite joke last week on Twitter: "We once summarized everything we have to be ashamed of in Germany." "Where, on a list?" "No, in downtown Stuttgart." Well, some jokes make your laughter stuck in the throat. The background: the "Querdenker" ("Lateral thinker")movement, originally started by critical-minded democrats who demanded a legitimate voice in restrictions against Corona spread, has become a rallying point for undemocratic subjects: Reichsbürger (who dispute the legitimacy of the Federal Republic of Germany), increasingly radical anti-vaccination activists (who have previously advocated so-called measles parties and see vaccinations as bodily harm), conspiracy theorists (ranging from Bill Gates haters to hardcore phantasists like QAnon), and a hefty helping of neo-Nazis.

Since then, "demonstrations" have taken place every week in virtually every major city, sometimes numbering hundreds, sometimes thousands. The nucleus was and is in Stuttgart. "Demonstrations" in quotation marks because it is clear from the outset that the permit requirements of the competent authorities (mask requirement, keep distance, numerical limitation, etc.) are to be disregarded in purpose. And this then takes place as well as assaults on police, media representatives and passers-by who do not join in the usual chants ("Merkel must go!") with spontaneous enthusiasm.

Also on Twitter, a teacher asks in the direction of the police how he should explain to his students that they should not be caught in threes on the way home from school, otherwise their parents will be threatened with a fine. And on the other hand, even at unauthorized demonstrations, the police calmly watch as up to 10,000 without masks and distance shout against cop pigs and mainstream media as stooges of encroaching governments. Good question. To date, I just haven't heard a serious answer.

Just to clarify, I hold fundamental democratic rights like free speech or the right to demonstrate sacred. What I have a problem with is instrumentalization by self-declared enemies of the state. How absurd is it to explicitly reject the rule of law on the one hand and to invoke it on the other. "We know our rights!". Exactly. That is perfidious and dangerous.

My generation can remember exactly how the police cracked down on protests against the planned nuclear reprocessing plant in Wackersdorf / Upper Palatinate in Bavaria in the early 1980s. That was when we first saw riot gear, pepper spray and water cannons. And that against (in the majority) harmless sit-ins. Today, we see discussions about the balance of state intervention ("Blind in the right eye?") and wonder about WhatsApp groups of police officers teeming with "88" references and factions in the military preferring forms of greeting that have been banned since 1945. This is a far cry from the ideal of the "citizen in uniform". So please show more clear edge - in the authorities and on the street.

Good News of the Week:

Sole governments have become rare in the German states; in almost all cases, it comes down to a temporary alliance of two or three parties: a coalition. Before entering into concrete coalition negotiations, it is customary for the winner of the election / the party with the strongest percentage, to hold so-called exploratory talks with all coalition partners that are basically in question. A lot of symbolism is attached to these. After all, no party has ever explored, let alone formed a coalition, with the right-wing populists, for example.

In Germany's political landscape as a whole, the Greens have been going up and up in the polls for months, while the conservatives have been going down. The state of Baden-Wuerttemberg has been gradually leading the way for years. Four weeks ago, the Greens were re-elected as the strongest force there for the second time, with Winfried Kretschmann, the only Green minister president to date, at the helm. And the conservative Merkel party CDU as junior partner. A constellation that has apparently worked quite well for ten years.

The Social Democrats, themselves far from previous election results, had hoped that the Swabian Greens would have had enough of the conservatives and would cheerfully enter into a coalition with them as well as the Liberals (the Left did not make it into the state parliament). With as much positive spin-off effects as possible for the federal elections to be held at the end of September. Did not work, the proven coalition has successfully explored and is since a few days in the concrete coalition negotiations, which will determine the policy of the next five years. Title of the paper on the exploratory result: "Great challenges require courageous decisions and reliable cooperation".

That's good. Ecology and economy - you can't have one without the other. And that's exactly what the two parties stand for. And they have also taken up the banner of the most far-reaching climate protection program to date, which is intended to be a genuine new departure. We'll see when details become public. But the signs are not bad. Just as the Greens, especially with Kretschmann, have proven that the former radical fundamentalists in the party have given way to realistic pragmatists, the traditionally industry-friendly Christian Democratic Union must prove that it has accepted the issues of climate, environment and sustainability as a central task for the near future.

If this works, it will also have a signal effect on the upcoming federal elections and federal government elections in the fall. Because there, too, the reconciliation of the two ecos must take place and bring quick and effective benefits. Because only if the individual member states of the EU pull together can the European Commission's ambitious goals in this regard make the step from theory into practice. Because only if Europe can demonstrate climate success will the emerging economies follow. Because only then will this planet have a chance. In this respect, Stuttgart also sends out a positive signal, as it is home to the green-conservative state government of Baden-Wuerttemberg.

Personal happy Moment of the Week:

The day before yesterday, I had an exciting experience. I came to a vacant commercial property of my bosses to show it to possible tenants. When I entered it, it became obvious that burglars were there. Hearing suspicious noises, I decided I'd rather not be a hero, but dial police 911 for the first time in my life. To the lady on the phone, I described where I was, what I had found, and why I thought the burglars might still be in the house. While still on the phone, after less than two minutes (I checked the phone log!) the first of four police cars arrived and secured the entire street block. The bottom line was that no one was there, only bubbling water was the suspicious source of the noise. Forensics came and found lots of usable material. I found it exciting to experience something live that I had previously only seen on television. And I was happy about how quickly and smoothly the police were on the scene when they were needed.

As I write this...

...I am enjoying the spring sunshine before the snow returns the day after tomorrow for the second time this April.

[kessielrg]

[Mighty Number 9] Kaberi’s Patch

Summary: In which Troilus convinces Leilani to enter Dr. White's laboratory in order to fix Cryosphere's Cabbage Patch doll Kabi.

Rating: K

Word count: 2,401 words

If you like the story, please consider donating through Ko-fi! 

. . .

A cold chill ran up Leilani's spine, and it wasn't just because of the winter air. Beside her, a xel-bot that looked more like a single eye attached to a stick man body made from slim, metal piping didn't seem to notice. This bot, named Troilus, was one of Leilani's oldest friends, and he had just suggested to her one of her worst nightmares.

“Please come with me Doc, it'll be a riot with you there!” he tried to goad her, despite being distracted by a bird not far off from them.

“I think you mean a riot will break out.” Leilani retorted with a grimace. “We've talked about this Troilus- there's nothing you can do to get me into Doctor Blackwell's lab to bump elbows with the Mighty Numbers.”

Troilus turned to look at her, his eye sparkling with amusement. “Ah, but Doc, Beckie loves you. You'd make his day just by breathing in his direction!”

The young woman had to look away from her friend as she pursed her lips together. “Hard pass.” she decided in a stiff tone.

“Not my favorite photo filter.” Troilus then playfully mused. “More of a transparency kinda guy.”

Leilani let out an exasperated sigh in response.

The two continued their walk in silence for a good amount of time. It wasn't until the path led to a crossroads that they turned to look at each other again.

“Whelp, last chance Doc.” Troilus told Leilani. “I'm telling you, Beck would love to see you. Pyrogen would love you too if you gave him the chance!”

“Troilus,” Leilani then begged, taking the robot by his thin hands, “I can't enter the Mighty Numbers' lair. Just thinking about the place makes me sick- if I had to enter it, I'd probably pop a blood vessel. Don't make me enter that place unless there's something that only I can solve. Okay?”

The tall Colosseum bot gave the young woman a thoughtful blink. “Your loss.” the bot finally decided with an indifferent shrug. His eye then glittered with amusement as he gave her a little boop on the nose. “See you later Doc!”

Trying to hide her blushing face, all Leilani could do was shake her head. Troilus pretended not to notice as he gave his favorite robotist a wave before leaving for the White compound.

The main headquarters for the Mighty Numbers was a tall steel building that tended to grow with each new Number. Each Mighty had their own floor, with Doctor White's room on the floor of the current Mighty Number. It was a far fancier sight than what Troilus lived in, what with his creator and owner a mechanic than an actual robotist, but he still enjoyed coming over now and again to see the improvements done over the years.

The only thing he hated about the Mighty Numbers' compound was that he had to be buzzed in. Every. Single. Time. You would imagine that being a family friend would mean something- but nope, Troilus had to wait to be allowed into the compound as if he were the delivery man.

“Sorry for the wait.” Mighty Number One, Pyrogen, apologized to his friend as he let Troilus in.

“It's no problem.” the other bot handwaved. “One of these days I'll crack that lock and just let myself in!”

Pyrogen gave a small chuckle as he led the two into the Mighties home. On their way to Pyrogen's room, there was some activity from the other Mighty Numbers. Troilus was only able to give a small nod to each Mighty he passed- it was Cryosphere that actually came within earshot. In fact, she almost bumped into Troilus as she tried to quickly scuttle past him and Pyrogen.

“Heya Cryo.” Troilus greeted in passing.

“Hi~!” Cryosphere replied with a side wave- she had her own business to do today, and having a guest was not going to change that much. Pyrogen noted something that sat on top of Number 2's water tank, but by the time he decided to question what she was doing, Cryosphere was out of eyesight. Instead, Mighty Number One turned his attention to his friend.

“Did you notice that she had her doll with her?” he asked in a stern tone.

“I did.” Troilus cheerfully agreed. “Sure picked a good day to come over, right? If Cryo's got her little dollie with her, then trouble is sure to follow!”

Pyrogen did not seem as thrilled at the idea as Troilus was, but decided to keep silent about his opinions for now. Trouble would follow whenever Cryosphere decided to 'play' with her Cabbage Patch doll. It wasn't necessarily how she played with the doll, it was who she played with that was the most worrisome…

. . .

You would think that by now, Beck would have developed a sixth sense for when Crysosphere got out her Cabbage Patch doll. It was well known among the Mighties that he hated that thing the most- what with its half squashed face and blank brown eyes staring straight into your soul. Oh no, when Beck realized that the doll was out, it had already been too late.

What a way to find out that your worst nightmare was free when you turn around and its just sitting right there like a dead body. Suffice to say, Beck screamed.

Pyrogen was quick to react to his youngest siblings' distress; it was so quick that Troilus only blinked and Pryo was out the door. It soon became apparent that they were a bit too late to the party. Beck stared at Cryosphere with wide, fearful eyes as Mighty Number Two cradled her doll. On closer inspection, you could see that one of the doll's arms had been ripped off.

“You broke her Beck!” Cryosphere whined. “Oh my poor Kabi- she never did anything wrong! Look at what you did!”

“I… I...” Beck stammered, but couldn't think of anything else to say. All the poor bot could do was stare at Cryo's doll in shock.

“What's going on?” Pyrogen demanded once he had formed a suspicion on what had just occurred. Both Cryo and Beck flinched at his voice and immediately turned their attention to him. Beck notably became paler at seeing the older Mighty Number.

“Beck broke my doll!” Cryosphere told her brother, holding up her doll for her and Troilus to better see.

Without wasting a second, Pyrogen then asked, “And did you use it to terrorize him?”

Cryosphere shifted a bit. “Well… yes. Yes I did, but that's only because it's so much fun!”

“Not for me.” Beck grumbled under his breath. Pyrogen looked at him for a moment before turning his attention back to Cryo.

“Cryosphere,” Pyrogen then told his sister, “You know you can't go around scaring Beck with that thing. Whatever happened in the fallout is your problem.”

“But Pyro...!” Number Two started to argue, but was instantly shut down by the glare her brother gave her.

“Come on Troilus,” Pyrogen then told his friend, “There's nothing else we can do here.”

Giving his friend a skeptical glance, Troilus shrugged and started to follow the Mighty Number out. Cryo watched them in contempt- there was no way she would let this end here.

“Someone needs to fix her!” Cryosphere blurted out in a full out whine.

At the doorway, Mighty Number One hesitated. “We could ask Doctor White...” he suggested in a still, calm voice.

“But he'd never agree to it.” Beck whispered darkly under his breath. “Everyone hates that thing...”

A small silence then fell over the group in agreement. It didn't take long for that silence to be broken, however.

“I have an idea!” Troilus suddenly declared- startling Beck in particular. “I know someone who can fix Kabi!”

“You do?!” Cryosphere happily questioned as Beck gave a pitiful whimper of fear.

“I'll be right back!” the wire frame bot promised as he headed out the door.

“Hurry!!” shouted Cryo just before Troilus was out of earshot.

. . .

Something about the cafe was far too relaxing for Leilani. For once, everything just seemed at peace as she held the steaming cup of hot chocolate under her nose. But, like all things in her life, that peace was short lived as Troilus sat opposite of her.

“Heya Doc.” the bot greeted. The human gave her greeting with a small glance before turning her attention back to soaking up the hot chocolate's warmth. Troilus wasn't blind to this, so he took it as a sign to continue.

“Okay, so, Cryo was using her doll to scare Beck, see? But in the process Beck broke the doll and it's in need of a good fixer-upper. Could you do the honors Doc? Pretty please?”

Leilani made Troilus watch in slow agony as she set her cup down on the table. For a moment, she considered her words before saying, “Sounds like Number Two deserved it.”

“I'm not the judge of that,” Troilus admitted, “But one favor could lead to a better one later, and boy would Cryo be indebted to you if you help her out this once!”

To this, the human placed a hand against her chin. “I dunno...” she mused.

“You're good with your fingers Doc.” the bot then begged. “Please help Kabi!”

Leilani gave an unflattering snort. “I'm a pianist and violinist, how is any way does that translate to 'seamstress'?” she noted with a raise of her eyebrow. After a few seconds, she then questioned, “The doll has a name?”

“Well, it's full name is Kaberi Patch, but yeah. Isn't it cute?”

That was when she looked back at him in faint horror. “What does he program his bots for?” she questioned in wonder.

“Fun, obviously.” Troilus humorously suggested, completely missing the point. Leilani then took in a deep breath. There was no way he was going to stop goading her- that much was obvious.

“Fine.” she agreed. “Take me to the doll. Kaberi. Take me to Kaberi.”

Troilus's eye glittered with excitement as he dragged the human out of the cafe. Back at the Mighty Numbers' compound, Beck impatiently paced outside of Cryosphere's room. He only looked up when he heard the sound of Troilus returning- and moments after that he realized who the bot had brought back with him.

“Leilani?!” the young bot squeaked. “What are you doing here?”

“I'm about to ruin everything.” she replied with a mischievous smirk.

“She's going to help sew up Cryo's dollie.” Troilus corrected, setting his hands down on Leilani's shoulders.

“D-do you have to?” Beck nervously questioned. Noticing that Leilani had cocked an eyebrow at his fear, Beck then tried to stammer, “I-it's just that the thing's so old. You know? It… it might be able to be fixed, yeah?”

Troilus let out a loud, and incredibly amused, laugh. “It's a fabric doll Beck, not a Gateway!”

“Leilani!” Cryosphere happily squealed when she saw the human. Pyrogen was with her, and he did not look as pleased to see the young woman there. Before anyone could properly react or even greet each other, Mighty Number Two was already leading Leilani into her room. “Oh, you're perfect for fixing up Kabi!” Cyrosphere giggled. “And at the same time, there's something I've always wanted Kabi to have- you're just perfect for it!”

The girls left the boys behind; Cyrosphere not even trying to be decent by slamming the door behind her.

“Now what?” Beck asked to no one in particular.

“Now we let Doctor Lei do her stuff.” Troilus replied; his eye twinkling with amusement. Beck let out a small whimper- why did that not inspire confidence in him? What upgrades could Cryo want with a fabric doll anyway?

. . .

They didn't have to, but the boys waited diligently for Cryosphere and Leilani to come back out. It was well over an hour before the door to Cryo's room opened up.

“Introducing…!” Cryosphere announced in a loud, boastful voice, “The new and improved Kaberi Patch!”

The boys turned to see what Cryosphere was talking about and saw the doll. Beck's artificial heart stopped in noticing that the old thing looked good as new; it's face no longer squashed, the painted eyes replaced with inset ones instead, the fabric of the doll's body looked cleaner and unstained. It wasn't until the doll blinked at him that Beck knew his greatest fears had been realized. Beck wasn't the only one to have seen the doll blink either- Pyrogen immediately looked at Cryo with wide, horrified eyes.

“What did you make Leilani do, Cryosphere?” he accused.

Cryo opened her mouth to happily reply, but Leilani beat her to it. “It's got an A.I. now.”

“What?!” the boys responded at the same time- Troilus notably sounding more amused than the horrified Pyrogen and Beck. Leilani gave a careful shrug of her shoulder.

“It's not a very smart A.I.” she then claimed. “A little less than the Patch units- like one of those robot toys you get for kids where you usually end up controlling it with a remote somewhere. Along with that, Kabi can walk on her own and is generally invulnerable to most blunt-force trauma.”

“Is that allowed, considering your parole?” Pyrogen questioned. Again, Leilani shrugged.

“I just followed Cryosphere's instructions.” she replied. “Your creator (or even Sanda, really) could have done it himself if he wanted to. Whatever no-good-deed related incident comes of this, it'll be reflected toward Sanda Tech more than myself.”

Pyrogen looked at her for a moment, then gave a small sound of agreement. The two brought their attention back to Cryo- the Mighty Number happily letting her rejuvenated doll dance in place. Leilani found herself giving a small smile at the display before turning to Beck. Mighty Number Nine did not look pleased in the slightest. Without a second thought, the human walked over to him and held out a small button.

“I suggest hiding this behind your ear.” she said to Beck, “Only press it when Cryo's trying to get at you with Kabi.”

Beck worryingly looked at the button and then to Leilani. As he took the button from her and did as he was told, he had to ask, “Why?”

A smile formed on the human's lips -not quite malicious but not entirely generous either- before she said, “It's Kaberi's only weakness; the off switch.”

[quicksilversquared]

The Mock Wedding

Alya and Nino eloped. Their friends and family, not willing to be cheated out of a wedding, throw their own.

Of course, just throwing a simple celebration would be too tame. So their friends decide to mix things up.

(a sister story to Scoring the Wedding)

(AO3) (FF.net)

Saying that nobody was happy when Nino and Alya eloped while they were on vacation was quite possibly the understatement of the year.

"But I wanted to walk you up the aisle," Alya's dad said mournfully.

"But I was going to make your dress!" Marinette exclaimed.

"But I wanted to throw flowers!" Alya's sisters cried.

"But we wanted to get revenge for the prank you pulled at our wedding!" Alix and Kim complained in startling unison.

"It was just so romantic on vacation that we couldn't wait," Alya said with a sheepish smile. "We did get pictures, if that helps?"

It did not help.

"I wanted to plan something great for their wedding," Kim sulked later that afternoon as the whole crew (minus Alya and Nino, who were with Nino's parents, and plus Alya's sisters, who had tagged along with Adrien and Marinette) crowded into Adrien and Marinette's apartment. "I don't know what, exactly, but it would have been great."

"Maybe Alya and Nino could have a reception sort of thing in Paris?" Rose suggested. "I think I've heard about things like that being done before, like when someone has a destination wedding but wants to be able to celebrate it when they get back. Maybe they could even do a renewal of vows sort of thing or something beforehand."

"Typically, vow renewals are not done until the second anniversary at the earliest," Max said, pushing his glasses higher up on his nose. "They are more common at five, ten, fifteen, or more years."

Kim groaned. "I am not waiting for fifteen years to get my revenge on them."

"So just a reception sort of thing, then," Mylene said. "That would be easy enough to do."

"Except then they'll be expecting it," Alix objected. "They'll just be waiting for us to do something. It won't be a surprise."

"So what can we do?" Kim asked, frowning. "We can't just not do anything..."

There was a long pause as everyone thought.

"Maybe we could...act out a wedding?" Mylene suggested timidly. "And make it funny somehow?"

No one looked particularly convinced. Alya's sisters exchanged a look.

"This whole thing just seems backwards to me," Nathaniel said with a sigh. "We're throwing a wedding for them and inviting them instead of them throwing their own wedding and inviting us. What else are we going to do backwards?"

"Oh," Alya's sisters said in unison. They turned to each to each other and whispered to each other, giggling as they did. The whole group watched as the two girls whispered and giggled for a long minute.

"Do you guys have an idea?" Kim finally asked when it because apparent that neither girl was particularly inclined to share. "Because we'd love to hear it."

There was another shared glance and a giggle before Angele spoke up. "You wouldn't want to do it."

"Kim will do anything if you dare him," Marinette said with a shrug. "And maybe your idea will give us ideas we could use."

"Well, we thought if you were doing things backwards, maybe you could dress backwards, too," Marie explained.

There was a confused pause.

"Like, put our shirts on the wrong way?" Nathaniel asked, confused. "And our pants? I don't think I'd be able to sit if I put my pants on backwards."

"Or- oh! Do you mean, like, the girls dress up like guys and guys dress up like girls?" Alix asked. Her face lit up. "Hey, Kim, I bet you would look fabulous in a tutu."

Kim froze and then sent a glare towards his wife. "I'm not gonna wear a tutu!"

"I dare you to wear a tutu to Alya and Nino's wedding event thing," Alix said immediately. Kim spluttered.

"Oh, come on! That's not playing fair!" Kim complained, ignoring the snickers going around the room. "You know I can't turn down a dare- fine! I'll do it, but you have to find one that fits me!"

"No problem," Alix said cheerfully, and they shook on it. As they turned back to the group, Alix winked at Marinette and they both grinned in silent understanding. Whatever tutu Alix found would be bedazzled to the limit before it got handed to Kim.

"I like that idea," Rose said.

Juleka nodded in agreement. "It would be rad."

"You would like it, you're a girl," Kim pointed out. "Girls can wear suits and look normal. Guys can't wear dresses and look normal!"

"Actually-" Adrien started, before he was cut off by Kim.

"You don't count, model boy!"

"You'll be wearing a tutu anyway, Kim," Marinette pointed out. "So I don't see why you're protesting so much. If all of the other boys are wearing dressed, you won't look so weird."

There was a pause as Kim considered that, and then he nodded frantically. "Actually, I've just had a sudden change of heart. 100% yes, let's do this."

Max and Nathaniel both groaned and Ivan made a face. Adrien didn't look particularly bothered.

"Next question: where do we get the outfits and when should we do this?" Alix asked. "I obviously wouldn't fit into any of Kim's suits."

"I'm sure that between all of the boys we can find something that at least kind of fits," Marinette pointed out. "I can use fabric tape to do some temporary hems if pant legs and sleeves are too long."

"Does that mean that you girls will be letting us borrow dresses?" Nathaniel asked.

"Or skirts and blouses," Rose said. Her eyes lit up and she clapped her hands to her face in glee. "Ooh, I have this lovely purple blouse that would look great with your hair!"

"We could either do this on a weekend or late on a weekday," Marinette said before they could get too deep into discussion about women's fashion. "It might be hard to do on a weekday, since Alya works late sometimes. We'd have to put it on their schedule in advance."

"Wait, how are we going to surprise Nino and Alya if we need to tell them about it first?" Ivan asked. "They'll just see it coming- well, they won't see the outfits coming, maybe, but they'll know we're up to something."

Marie perked up. "Hey, we could get our parents to tell Alya and Nino that they want to have a picnic with their new in-laws! We would need to go on our mom's day off or get her to take half a day off for the picnic, though."

"When's her day off?" Marinette asked immediately.

"Wednesdays. There aren't as many people in the hotel then. But she can usually get Tuesday afternoons off without a problem," Angele said. She pulled out her phone. "I can text Mom now and ask! Then we would know for sure."

"Make sure she won't tell Alya," Rose said as Angele texted furiously. "Or be vague about it and then tell your parents the details later. Will your father have trouble getting time off work?"

"Oh no," Marie assured them. "He never does. There's enough interns at the zoo to keep things running, as long as at least one of the head zookeepers is there. He'll just have to give them a week's notice of how much time he wants off."

The room fell silent for a moment, and then Angele's phone let out a ding and she pulled it out. She read the message with Marie hanging over her shoulder, and then both of them grinned. "Mom approves! She's texting Nino's parents to make sure they can do Wednesday afternoon, two weeks out."

"Wouldn't it be a riot if we could get the parents to dress up as well?" Alix asked with a grin. "Imagine Nino's face if his father wore a dress!"

"But then we would have to see our parents dressed up funny," Angele complained, making a face. "I'd be scarred for life!"

"I think it would be funny," Marie said immediately. She practically pounced on Angele as her phone let out a ding. "What did she say?"

"Date and time is confirmed," Angele announced. "Wednesday, two weeks out. If we do it after five, then we won't have to worry about them taking any time off. Mom suggested that we set up earlier so we're ready and then Nino's parents will drive them to wherever we're having this and since it's summer, we should have plenty of daylight still."

"So we still need to find a park," Marinette confirmed.

"I can do that," Mylene offered immediately. "Most places don't need reservations for a picnic, but I can always check."

"That would be great, Mylene!" Marinette exclaimed. "Okay, so does everybody have that down? Wednesday the 16th, be at the park probably around three-thirty to four to set stuff up and get ready. I'll see if my parents can bake us a few treats."

"And we can ask my mom to cook some things," Marie volunteered. "She was planning on cooking for Alya's wedding anyway."

"I'll bring drinks," Rose called.

"Wait, the 16th?"

The jovial mood in the room promptly froze at the question. All eyes turned to Adrien, who suddenly looked more than a little uncertain.

"That's the week my cousin is visiting," Adrien explained with a grimace. "I really want to do this, obviously, but I don't know if I'd be able to make it. My father would probably want me to spend time with Felix while he's here."

"Well, he could come along," Kim said with a shrug. "The more the merrier."

"Felix isn't exactly the kind that would enjoy something like this," Adrien said with a laugh and another grimace. "He's...serious."

"Well, there's no harm in asking, right?" Marinette pointed out. "Maybe he'd be interested in meeting all of us. Or maybe he'd want to spend a day with your father."

"I'll ask," Adrien said after a moment. His grin turned rueful. "Felix isn't going to know what he got himself into."

   Felix Agreste wasn't quite sure what he had gotten himself into.

He had come to Paris to visit his cousin and uncle for a week before returning home and for the first day, everything had gone normally. His cousin had picked him up at the airport, accompanied by his chauffeur, and they had driven back to Agreste Mansion. Adrien normally didn't stay there anymore, his cousin had explained, since he shared an apartment with his fiancée, but he would be returning to his childhood home for the week so he could spend more time with Felix while he was in the country. Felix had met the fiancée in question later that afternoon, and she seemed kind and pretty and normal enough.

Felix was starting to regret that first assumption.

"I don't understand," Felix said as he watched his cousin join a small blond pixie of a woman in hanging paper flowers in the park that they had driven to, just outside of the city limits. "What are you trying to accomplish here?"

"Our friends Nino and Alya went and eloped while they were on vacation," Adrien informed Felix, tacking one end of a flower chain to a tree branch. He reached for the end of a long, gauzy bolt of cloth to hang next. "So none of us got to go to their wedding. That was very rude of them, since we've only been looking forward to it for forever, so we're making up for it with staging another wedding."

"I see," said Felix, who really didn't see at all. "And is your fiancée joining us for this mock wedding?"

Adrien grinned, as he seemed inclined to do whenever Marinette was mentioned. It was slightly sickening. "Yeah, she is! She and her family will be coming later. They're making a cake for us. Alya's family is making some other refreshments."

"Isn't that the person who eloped? Her family knows about this?" Felix was more than a little puzzled about that. "Wouldn't they tell her? They're going along with this?"

The blonde pixie- Rose, Felix thought she was called- giggled from over where she was erecting a flower-covered arch in the front of the clearing they had claimed. "They weren't happy about Alya and Nino eloping either. We were brainstorming about what we could do in front of Alya's younger sisters and they hopped on it and persuaded their parents to get involved." More giggling. "They came up with the twist, too."

"A twist?" That was the first Felix had heard of a twist. "Do I even want to know?"

The snickers that came after his question told Felix that no, he probably did not want to know. He sighed, groaned, and buried his face in the novel he had brought with him.

More and more people arrived as the afternoon dragged on. More decorations went up, turning the park alcove into a full-fledged wedding set-up. Folding chairs were set up in rows, a couple flower pots decorated the front, and two long tables were set up at the back. Rose abandoned her decorating for a few minutes to dash off and returned with a rolling cooler and a punch bowl. Snacks filled up the table once what Felix assumed was Alya's family arrived, and Felix found himself dreading the day even more once he saw the age of Alya's sisters. He had thought that they would be about the same age as Adrien and his friends, hopefully a little older or only a little younger.

Instead, they appeared to be in their early teens. Felix didn't want to know what kinds of ideas girls at that age might come up with for a "twist" for the wedding.

Adrien cheered and abandoned his preparations as Marinette's family's car pulled up. A giant of a man got out of the front and gave Adrien a high-five before rounding to the back and pulling out a large cake box. Marinette and her mother hopped out of the car as well, and Felix could hear Adrien's squeal from all the way across the park when he saw the box of croissants that Marinette was carrying under her arm.

Felix remembered his cousin being a lot more normal the last time they saw each other, but perhaps that was because Adrien had been visiting him and his father had been around the entire time.

Another girl was getting out of the Dupain-Cheng car, pulling a large box out behind her. She, like Marinette, was for some reason wearing a suit.

Actually, now that Felix really looked around, quite a few of the girls in their group seemed to be wearing suits. Even Rose, who had been dressed in a pretty floral skirt and a pink blouse earlier, was now wearing a light grey suit. It looked a little funky- clearly it wasn't tailored for her measurements- so Felix guessed that it was probably borrowed. Most of the other suits looked the same way.

Felix was puzzled, to say the least.

"We can use the bathroom as a changing room!" a short guy with glasses- Matthew, maybe? Max? Felix wasn't certain- called over the chatter from the group. "No one else is here right now, it'll be fine!"

Felix was suddenly struck by a feeling of dread. No one else is here? Changing room?

Why was anyone changing anything? It didn't make sense.

"D'you want to join, Felix?" Adrien asked, popping up next to him. In one hand Adrien held an hanger with a red dress hanging from it. On any other day, Felix would have said that it was a gorgeous dress- it was a lovely shade and with a fabulous design. The cut was absolutely stunning.

But Felix was suspicious now, especially since he had just spotted a blond wig in Adrien's other hand.

"Join what?" Felix asked suspiciously. "I want to know what I'm getting into before I agree to anything."

Adrien laughed at that. "We're dressing up for the 'wedding'. Marinette found this-" he held up the dress, and Felix spotted a plunging neckline "-for me to wear."

Yeah, how about no.

"I think I'll pass," Felix managed, taking a step back. "Uh, you go do you."

Adrien shrugged, apparently unconcerned by Felix's disinterest. "Okay. See you later, then."

Felix held his tongue as his cousin trotted off, still holding the dress and the wig. The whole mock wedding thing was weird in the first place; this cross-dressing, which had to be the "twist" that Alya's sisters had dreamed up, was beyond weird.

Felix sure hoped that some of the refreshments were alcoholic, because he was going to need it at this rate.

The group of friends and assorted family members grew larger. The women looked all right, even with the ill-fitting suits. Some had opted for dress shirts and dressy slacks, which on the whole looked better, but Felix could tell that the shoulders were designed for someone with larger shoulders. The men...

Well, he was going to need either therapy or a whole lot of alcohol after this.

To be fair, there were times when men could look good in dresses, Felix knew that. He had been around the fashion industry long enough to see it done fantastically.

This was not done fantastically.

While the ladies had at least been fairly consistent with their outfits, then men had not bothered. Adrien was wearing the slinky red dress with a plunging neckline (Felix wanted to scrub his eyes), and a couple of the other men were wearing proper dresses as well. Ivan and Marinette's father were wearing dress shirts and appeared to have tied curtains around their waists.

Oddest yet was the man wandering around with a dress shirt, slacks, and a tutu that looked like it had been hit by a glitter bomb or ten. Little pink rhinestone hearts decorated the fabric.

"It was a dare," the man insisted when he caught Felix staring, like that explained everything. It didn't. He held out his hand. "I'm Kim. You must be Adrien's cousin."

"That is correct," Felix managed before Kim and his tutu were off again.

"Alright, everyone! Nino's parents are driving Alya and Nino out now," Marinette called as she hopped up onto a chair. Everyone's attention went to her. "If you could all get into place, that would be great! If you have a wig, put it on now. We have a couple more but they're, uh..."

She held up a brilliantly yellow wig. Felix guessed that her next words would probably have been either "ugly", "tacky", "godawful", or all of the above. Those were the words that he would have used.

There was a stampeding of feet as people jumped into their chairs. Marinette tucked her hair into a cap and took her place up near the front of the room. She was apparently serving as the Best Man.

"I still don't understand the point of the cross-dressing," Felix said when Adrien swung by to check on him. "It's utterly bizarre."

Adrien grinned, adjusting the low-plunging neckline on his dress. Felix cringed and tried not to stare. "It makes it funny. Otherwise, we're just faking a wedding. This makes it memorable."

"I'm gonna have to bleach my brain."

That garnered a laugh from Adrien. "Come on, Felix. It's not that bad."

"You're wearing a wig. And high heels. And that dress."

"It's a perfectly lovely dress," Adrien argued with a grin. "It looks fabulous on Mari."

Felix could believe that. However, it did not look fabulous on Adrien, not by a long shot. It didn't fit, especially around the hips, and the proportions were off-

-and yeah, he definitely needed a drink or five if he was already starting to try to figure out how to fix everything and make it look good.

"It's not meant to look good," Adrien said with a laugh, and Felix realized he had accidentally spoken aloud. "We're trying to embarrass Nino and Alya. It's the funny factor."

Felix wasn't even going to try to argue with that, mostly because it was going to give him a headache.

As people settled, Felix fled to the back row, closest to the refreshments table. He eyed it up, trying to decide if he wanted to snitch anything. He wasn't immediately spotting anything remotely alcoholic, unless the punch bowls were spiked.

Considering the presence of two young teens, he sincerely doubted that.

Felix eyed up the coolers under the table next. Those looked a little more promising, but he wasn't about to go digging around there, since he was a guest. It would be rude, and he wasn't going to stoop down to that.

Well, not yet, at least. He was keeping it as an option. It was very possible that as soon as the "wedding" got underway he would be in immediate need of a stiff drink, but he could maybe manage for now. Maybe.

(It was looking less and less likely by the minute.)

Felix sat in silence for a few more minutes, watching as people rushed to and fro. Marinette rushed past him at one point, directing the girl who was apparently her cousin to sit in one of the remaining open chairs. Felix wondered for a moment why her cousin wasn't sitting with Marinette's parents, and then he realized that her mother was standing in as the minister and her father was being the "mother" of the "bride".

"You look like the only remaining sane person here," the girl said with a laugh as she slid into the chair next to Felix. "They couldn't persuade you to wear a skirt?"

"They didn't try. My cousin knows that I would not partake in such foolishness." Felix straightened his spine as he eyed his new neighbor. She was dressed in a suit, just like her cousin. It seemed to fit her a bit better than some of the other suits people were wearing at first glance- the hems weren't dragging, and the cuffs weren't hanging over her hands- but this close up, Felix could see the fit issues and where the hem had obviously been taped up. It was a Gabriel design, which made Felix suspect that Marinette had probably raided Adrien's closet for the pieces. Knowing Adrien, he probably hadn't protested at all.

The girl laughed again, seemingly unperturbed by Felix's coolness. "Lucky. My cousin wouldn't take no for an answer and then my aunt and uncle ganged up on me. I didn't stand a chance."

"They all seem quite excited about it," Felix commented, inclining his head towards the rest of the chattering group. "Even with the wigs."

His new neighbor outright snorted at that. "Those are quite awful, aren't they? Marinette bought them yesterday. These aren't even the worst of the lot."

Felix raised an eyebrow at that. "No?"

She grinned. "No, the worst is this awful tomato-red wig that's, like, nearly a meter long. The 'bride' is wearing it."

Felix groaned.

"Oh! I've forgotten my manners." The girl extended a hand towards Felix. "I'm Bridgette, Marinette's cousin. I dropped in on my way back from London and found them getting ready for this."

Felix shook her hand. "Felix Agreste. Adrien's cousin." He sent a dark look in his cousin's direction. "My cousin knew I was coming but somehow thought I might enjoy this."

The group abruptly fell silent as the sound of a car crunching over the gravel grew louder. Everyone turned eagerly towards the sound, waiting for Alya and Nino to appear. Felix turned despite himself, watching as the car pulled to a stop. The door swung open and the newly married couple stepped out, looking torn between confused and amused as they glanced around at the assembled group.

Felix could tell the exact moment when they realized that the clothing had been swapped on their "guests". Alya's eyes went wide first and she elbowed her husband, pointing to Adrien. Nino's mouth dropped and he groaned, turning away to bang his forehead against the top of the car.

"You guys, what on earth," Alya said with a laugh, stepping forward and letting her eyes sweep over the crowd. "What are you doing?"

"We were expecting to attend a wedding, and we were robbed," Marinette said from where she stood at the front. She grinned at her friends. "And since it's a bit backwards for us to throw you a party, we decided to do some other stuff backwards as well."

"Oh my god."

"Now sit, sit," Nino's mother said, hopping out of the car and pushing the new couple into the chairs that had been set out specifically for them. "Sit and enjoy, now."

Then, to Felix's horror, what could only be described as dubstep wedding music started pouring out of an old, beat-up radio someone had brought along. The "groom" (one of Alya's sisters) appeared at the altar, joining the mock wedding party, and the "mother" and "father" of the "bride" escorted the red-wig-wearing monstrosity down the center aisle.

The fake bride was so dressed up that Felix couldn't even figure out who they might be. It was a guy for sure- the very flat chest and broad shoulders kind of gave it away- but their face was completely obscured by the awful red wig. Long bangs covered the eyes and the rest of the wig hung loose, hiding the person's cheeks as well. Someone had managed to persuade whoever-it-was to put on lipstick in a red that clashed with their hair. They had even managed to find a wedding gown of sorts, though it looked like perhaps it had been either in an attic for a while or scavenged from the discount bin at a thrift store.

Felix's hand twitched towards the cooler.

The dressed-up trio headed up the aisle and then the "ceremony" started. A few people passed by their group, staring curiously as they went, and Felix found himself sinking lower in his seat every time. He definitely should have taken up his uncle's offer to show him around the business. It would be boring, yes, but he also wouldn't be squirming around in his seat from intense secondhand embarrassment. Or maybe he should have run off to a cafe or a library for the afternoon, that also would have been a fabulous idea...

"Look at Nino and Alya," Bridgette hissed, elbowing Felix's side. "Oh my god, their faces..."

Felix glanced over in the couple's direction and had to smile. Nino and Alya looked just as embarrassed as he felt, probably because they actually knew this group of weirdos.

"I gotta take a picture of that," Bridgette said with a grin, holding up the camera that had been laying in her lap and snapping a few shots. She then turned and took a few pictures of the "wedding party" up front. "Oh, this is great."

"You're one of them," Felix accused, pointing a finger at his neighbor. "You're enjoying this."

Bridgette shrugged. "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. It's better than hiding away behind a book like you're doing." She snapped another picture. "And it's fun. C'mon, can't you see at least a little humor in it?"

Felix grumbled.

By the time the "bride" and "groom" exchanged cheek kisses, Felix had finally caved and snuck around to the refreshments table to snatch a bottle of wine from the cooler. Bridgette had accepted a few sips before going back to snapping photos, so Felix sipped away at the bottle by himself. Both his father and his uncle would have an aneurysm if they saw him, but Felix wasn't about to tell either of them. By the time the "wedding" finished and everyone filed back to the "reception area" (aka the tables of food, but apparently they couldn't just say that), nearly half of the bottle was gone.

"Really, Felix," Adrien sighed, trying to swipe the bottle from him and missing. "Did you really have to?"

"I did," Felix said haughtily, taking another swig. "How else am I supposed to bleach the image of you in that dress out of my brain?"

   Alya and Nino were having a wild day- or, rather, a wild afternoon. They had planned for a nice dinner with their parents and Alya's sisters in a park just outside of a city, and so when they got there they were more than a little surprised to walk in on what at first glance seemed to be a wedding.

On second glance, it turned out to be a wedding sort of thing where a bunch of weirdos were cross-dressing.

And on third glance, it turned out that the weirdos were their friends.

"I regret ever becoming friends with these people," Nino hissed as someone who possibly may have been Nathaniel headed down the makeshift aisle in a tacky wedding gown, followed by Marinette's father in a makeshift skirt and Alya's mother in a suit.

"Kim did say that he was going to get revenge on us for the scoring," Alya hissed back. "I guess this is the revenge."

"I'm gonna die of embarrassment," Nino groaned three minutes later as a large family passed by the clearing, staring all the while.

"That's what they want," Alya said grimly as she watched her sister recite possibly the most ridiculous "vows" she had ever heard. Unless she was hearing things, Marie had just promised "not to get married without inviting my friends and family".

So apparently this was one part revenge for Alix and Kim's wedding and one part revenge for eloping. And their families had even gotten involved, the traitors. The only reasonable people left were Adrien's cousin, who was looking as though he was seriously regretting his decision to tag along with Adrien, and Marinette's cousin, who was sitting with him.

Of course, calling the latter reasonable might be a stretch. She had pulled out a camera and was snapping photos of everyone. It would probably be fabulous blackmail material- Kim had somehow been roped into wearing the most bedazzled tutu they had ever seen, and Adrien was wearing a gorgeous red dress of Marinette's. It looked better on Marinette.

"Adrien probably picked that dress out himself, the nerd," Nino said as the "wedding" wrapped up and everyone cheered. "Kim was probably forced."

"Kim was probably dared," Alya corrected, standing up and pulling Nino to his feet so they could greet their friends. "That's all it takes to get him to do anything."

"True enough."

"How did you like the wedding?" Adrien asked, coming up to them with a grin. "Wasn't it great?"

"Couldn't you have worn a different dress?" Nino groaned in response. "Really, anything would have been better-"

"Almost anything," Alya corrected as visions of Adrien trying to fit himself into a little black dress filled her mind. Hopefully he wouldn't take Nino's words as a challenge.

"You sound like Felix," Adrien said cheerfully, adjusting the left shoulder of the dress so it wasn't in danger of slipping off. Adrien's gaze slid to the side for a moment and he sighed. "Speaking of Felix, excuse me for a minute. I need to go steal that bottle away from him before he drinks all of it."

"I think Felix had the right idea," Nino hissed as Adrien took off again, wobbling a little in the high heels he had donned. "Drink this out of our memory."

"Nino."

"He couldn't have picked a more cringy dress if he tried," Nino insisted, and Alya sighed again.

"It isn't that bad," she insisted even as the "bride" passed them, waving and nearly tripping over the hem of their outdated dress. "He could have been wearing Mari's short black dress- you know, the one she bought specifically for teasing him because it shows so much skin? That would have been bad."

Nino looked slightly ill. Alya laughed and turned her attention to the friends that were coming up to talk to them. They all looked ridiculous, but their enthusiasm was undeniable. Congratulations poured in from all corners as Alya and Nino visited with their friends and snacked on the mountain of snacks and treats that Rose, Alya's family, and the Dupain-Chengs had provided. It was actually pretty enjoyable, even with the cringe-worthy costumes.

They could deal with the embarrassing friends- they knew exactly what they were doing, the nerds- and they would exact their own revenge on their other classmates as they, too, paired off and got married. It really wasn't anything more than they had done to Kim and Alix.

Alya let herself snort with laughter as she reached for an unopened can of nuts. She'd let this slide, just this once. At least their goofy friends had thought to provide some snacks for them to eat after they finished with their caricature of a wedding-

She popped the lid off and a paper snake shot out, making her scream. Around her, people gasped in surprise- all except one, who wore a very suspicious smirk.

Oh, he was going down.

"KIIIIIIIM!"

Like Scoring the Wedding, this was also based off of something that happened during a wedding in my (extended) family. One of my mom's cousins got married in secret (something about her husband-to-be not wanting an ex-wife to find out), and as a sort of revenge the rest of the family threw a "wedding" and cross-dressed for it. My great-grandma played the role of the minister.

This event was also the first time my dad met the rest of my mom's family. When my dad first met my mom's brother, my uncle was wearing a skirt and a bright yellow wig. I am impressed that he didn't go running for the hills.