#my father paragraph class 5

[bizarre-blorbo-bracket]

FINAL for real this time: Davis (Juror 8) from Twelve Angry Men vs the Bimodal Distribution from statistics

Propaganda under the cut, and it's REALLY worth it:

Davis (Juror 8) (these are all from the single submitter)

a quick lil list babes, and I apologise for all of this in advance:

He's from the fucking film 12 angry men. like, aside from letterbox bootlickers and middle school hass students NO ONE has watched this film let alone care about it, it was made in 1957, is shot almost exclusively in one room and the entire film is just middle aged white men yelling at each other over whether some not white poor kid should be sent to the electric chair. what the fuck.

Henry Fonda, the actor, was 52 years old at the time of filming

Henry Fonda is the father of Jane Fonda, the woman who would revolutionise the 80's with her home workouts and her blindingly neon leg warmers.

His name wasn't revealed until the very end of the film and even then it's just "Davis."

I could honestly give him a lil smooch

He's absolutely not girlypop but he's the ally-iest ally who's ever allied

He's categorised as a "Benevolent Leader" on the Heroes Wiki

instead of the overwhelming urge for me to coddle him like most all other blorbos, i would appreciate it switched

I have a photo of him inside my saxophone case and sometimes i forget he's in there, then he creeps into my saxophone bell and when I play it he shoots out like a ballistic missile

Dude, on ao3 there's more fanfiction about the real life 80's British punk band The Clash than the entire film of 12 angry men, let alone Davis (80 fics come up under the clash, while 10 come up for 12 angry men)

I have a counter, and I've watched 12 Angry men a total of 145 times. The figure is up on my wall in tallies. whenever the number goes up, I like to watch it in 5's so then I can put another full group of tallies on my wall.

I have incredibly detailed stories about how Davis would boogie down to ringo starr's solo career, and they're written within the margins of a book called Tobruk written by Peter Fitzsimons. The only reason I reread that book is to wonder at my elaborate works of fiction

My HASS teacher was the one to introduce me to 12 Angry Men as he played it for the entire class. He gave us a set of questions to complete on the film and a few Law based questions as a little treat, and he expected it to be handed in the next day. What he didn't expect was an 11 page monster of a response that included social commentary, 4 paragraphs dissecting the character of Davis alone, deeply discussed comparisons between the landscapes of politics and law in the 50's to the present, and basically an entire point-for-point summarisation of the film, completed with obscure quotes from Truman, Eisenhower, Nixon and Presley (Elvis). He presented the printed masterpiece in front of the entire class to shame me.

After class he explained how his favourite Juror would either be 6 or 5, because 6 seems like a big dumb teddybear and he just liked 5. I explained how I liked Davis because he didn't want to send a kid to die, then he told me how Davis would make a good cowboy (at this point in time I was unaware of Henry Fonda's role in Once Upon A Time in The West) and I proceeded to go home and write a 3 part orchestral composition that I could pretend would play as the soundtrack to Juror 8: A Cowboy's Tale or something like that

I had started to make an animation meme starring Davis but only gave up when photoshop literally deleted itself from my laptop

I didn't even hear that Juror 8's name was Davis when I first watched it in class, somehow I only heard it on my 6th rewatch but when I did I literally got so excited I literally got winded and cried a little bit, I had to take a panadol because I got so lightheaded

I have learned the musical motif that plays throughout the film on saxophone, clarinet, recorder, guitar, bass, ukulele, piano and trumpet

I have visions of him

One of Davis' 3 children HAS to be gay and nothing can convince me otherwise

honest to god I'd be a home wrecker if it came to him

I quote not only Davis but the film a lot, and sometimes in the dead silence of all my friends I go on about how the old man couldn't have possibly made it to the door in such a short amount of time to see the kid running down the stairs (because the old man has a limp, and Davis proved it my limping around the room, which I have to say was incredibly attractive of him)

He's literally an architect

I once had a dream where Davis was in my bass guitar case when I opened it, and i literally just picked him up and started picking him like a bass guitar until I tried to play a full chord and he bit the hand that was meant to be on the fretboard. I dropped him and he fell on his ass, and when I said "what the hell dude what was that for" he said bass chords are lowkey ugly to listen to, and since then i don't like playing bass chords because now they're lowkey ugly to listen to. before this ordeal, i enjoyed them, but alas

i once got my romantic partner to write me a davis x reader fanfiction as a birthday present

my parents believe that Davis is my first celebrity crush, and while they're actually wrong it's still actually so embarrassing they believe that because OH MY GOD it's literally JUROR 8 FROM 12 ANGRY MEN

I've attempted slam poetry about him

I've eaten a paper printed full a4 size photo of his hand

I would also not mind him to be literally my father, but given the rest of the things I've just said about him that's really weird and I recognise that

the Bimodal Distribution

First of all, it's a math concept. that is already pretty bizarre of a thing to be blorbo-ifying. Second of all, I don't know any calculus, and I don't consider myself a math person (because I hate arithmetic), but I really like this guy for some reason. I mean this graph clearly holds the secrets of the universe. don't you just want to l o o k at it . like you could solve everything in the world with that boy

[bfpnola]

Hey. It's @reaux07. If you remember my last angry history rant on Paul Robeson, I'm back for Part 2. This time? King Leopold II and his relationship to the Congo. I just finished writing a 5-page, single-spaced essay on this for class, so I'll do my best to summarize in bullet points this time rather than chunky paragraphs. This will still be long though, as a warning, but it's a necessary read. Please let me get through this, because y'all know this hurts to write.

Trigger warnings for... just about everything typically associated with mass colonization (e.g. rape, murder, torture, etc.). Tiktok below as a brief introduction first:

King Leopold II of Belgium, due to his personal unpopularity and lack of love from his parents, had low self-esteem. As his father had already made 50 attempts to colonize foreign lands to no avail, Leopold felt the only way to uplift both himself and his country was to take take control of his own colony.

He checked Sarawak, the New Hebrides, the Fiji Islands, and the Philippines. Nothing. But what was left? The Congo.

How did he learn of the Congo? Leopold hired Henry Morton Stanley, a famous Welsh explorer of the time, to cross Africa from east to west, walking and canoeing 7,000 miles.

Upon the Congo's discovery, Leopold turned his palace into a luxury hotel for the delegates of a new conference to discuss Africa's colonization, supervising every detail. He successfully lied to the major powers of Europe, making claims of charitable and philanthropic aims, and that there would be free trade amongst the African colonies. (And yes, he did give every single attendee a painting of his face... Because he could.)

Meanwhile, back in the Congo, Stanley (the explorer I just mentioned) used bribes and trickery to provide official treaties with the various chiefs of the land in case Leopold ever needed legal proof of land ownership. (Ex of said trickery: One report noted that a village assumed "the white man controlled the sun.")

In 1891 and 1892, Leopold released decrees stating that both vacant land and produce of the forests exclusively belonged to Belgium and that natives could only harvest for the state.

Enforcing Leopold’s rule were 16,000 Africans equipped with modern Belgian-made automatic rifles.

Outing Attempt #1: One African American man, George Washington Williams, during his trip compiled a report to be sent to the American secretary of state. In this letter, Williams remembers bets being taken on who could shoot the native people in the head first, among other instances of vile treatment. While the document never made it back to Williams’ home country, it was eventually found in Europe where he later died.

By this point, the Congo was actually ruining Leopold’s finances and he was growing desperate. But to his surprise, he happened to pick the one spot where rubber grew in abundance, just as the demand for cars and bicycles rose internationally, John Dunlop, a Scottish veteran, having just invented the first pneumatic tire.

Because of this, rubber-prominent areas were the targets of mass exploitation and punishment if daily and weekly rubber quotas were not met.

Missionaries began to write not just to one another, but back home in disgust of these aforementioned “punishments,” one man’s writings put in missionary magazines and national newspapers in Europe. These punishments included rape, tying people up to trees, cutting off men's heads and genitals to be displayed along the fences of Congolese villages, cutting women’s breasts off, and most notably...

Attempt #2: The world, if only momentarily, saw BASKETS after BASKETS of right hands that had been cut off as proof that each of the cartridges given to the Africans had been fired and killed one of their own people. These hands were then smoked for preservation and brought back to their officers.

What did Leopold do once this information came out alongside photos of child mutilation? Acknowledge the abuses and moved on almost immediately.

In Europe, the rubber was processed in a city called Antwerp, ironically named after a mythological giant who also cut off hands. To this day, the connection between such a name and Belgian history has not been made by the general public as countless documents by the Belgian Ministry of Foreign Affairs are kept secret to maintain an image of untouched royalty.

One commissioner in charge of a district in Congo, Leon Fievez, produced one ton of rubber a day, boasting of 1,000 people killed, 162 villages destroyed, burning gardens and plantations so people would starve, and having “only” used 3,000 cartridges. He was nicknamed the “Devil of the Equator” and rightly so.

Attempt #3: One day, a man named Charles Stokes, a British trader working for the Germans, entered the picture. Stokes was arrested for trading in state territory, despite those former claims of free trade, and sentenced to death. Leopold was forced to pay compensation to both Britain and Germany for his death, both countries now increasingly aware of the Congo’s dark reality.

To cover it up, Leopold made claims of the Congo opening up to new companies. Let's be real: His men were on the boards of all these new companies and he took 50% of the profits.

In particular were these "concession companies" where the "hostage system" was set up. Agencies, with official hostage licenses authorizing such, would take the wives of rubber collectors for up to 15 days until the quota was met.

On the 15th day, the men of the Congo either got their wives back or faced further punishment, often death. For the agents, the 15th day meant it was time to calculate commissions, and for the king? It was proof that this new hostage system worked.

These abusive concession companies lasted over 10 years until formal competition arose in South America and Asia.

Attempt #4: Then came Edmund Dene Morel, a half-French, self-taught shipping clerk turned investigative journalist who wrote in The Speaker of the abuses faced by the Congolese, backed up by evidence, not just speculations.

Due to Morel’s growing specialization in West African affairs, he was able to not only send out 15,000 brochures and 3,700 letters in six months after his move to Wales, but start his own newspaper, West African Mail.

By 1903, Roger Casement, an ally to Morel’s cause, spent two months traveling the upper Congo, recording African testimonies. He, too, realized that missionaries were key witnesses and went to visit Joseph Clark (a missionary of 20 years) for 17 days.

Through these reports, which grew to 50 pages in length, Casement and Morel were able to solidify Belgium as perpetuating the worst colonial system Africa had ever known. Punishments included Africans performing public incest for the colonists' entertainment, decapitation, women being stabbed with wooden spikes up their vaginas, and one woman tied up to a tree and slashed straight in half from her left shoulder through her abdomen and out the other side.

The West African Mail even reported on a part of Congo no one knew existed, private property within private property called the “Crown Domain” on the other side of Lake Tumba, which gained 231 million euros alone, all sent directly to King Leopold II. Crown Domain was 10x 5)3 size of Belgium.

Founded by Morel, Liverpool became the headquarters of a coalition called the Congo Reform Association. He also published a book called Red Rubber (1906). I think you’ll find the cover particularly striking! Check out the hand in the bottom right corner being weighed against King Leopold II on the left.

Leopold obviously not having this, commissioned a number of books and monthly magazines to clear up the mess. This didn't work. Obviously.

He even tried to send his own international commission to control what the Congolese said in 1904, to no avail. This was due to a missionary named John Harris who had taken the accounts of various people in the area and sent them back to Morel.

In one particularly heartbreaking moment, a chief brought to Leopold’s judges 110 twigs for each of the entire villages, not just people, killed by the Belgian state, naming every last one.

By the time they returned to Europe, the governor-general committed suicide and, upon being asked, Harris suggested Leopold should be sent to the gallows by the relatively new International Court of Justice.

The commission's report vindicated Casement and Morel. Leopold had tricked no one. EVERYONE in Belgium was calling him out.

Leopold ordered all of the Congo State Records to be burned.

In 1908, the Congo became a Belgian colony, not longer Leopold’s personal property. The state still made claims of "civilizing" the Africans after Leopold's death though, utilizing the leftover mineral exploitation industry with no guilt.

At least during his funeral, which he was denied of having privately, the entire city booed his body <3 well deserved. By this point, he had become Europe’s most hated man of the time.

And in case you were wondering, Casement and Morel were both accused to pro-German sympathies during WWI and executed.

I would like to add more detail but I think I’ve hit a character limit. Just know that Congo’s population was cut in HALF, in some places as much as 60-90%. Villages after villages were burned, as shown through so many soldiers’ and missionaries’ journals. This was a genocide of over 10 MILLION PEOPLE y’all. Hearing this story was truly SICKENING, but here’s the BBC 4 documentary we watched for class for more: Congo: White King, Red Rubber, and Black Death.

What truly gets me is just how OTHER colonizers were calling this man out after finding out the full truth… For me, that feels like extra proof of how truly messed up this was if THEY were disturbed too.

And what feels truly insidious was how Leopold made sure to institutionalize all of his wrongdoings and was so… obviously knowing about every wrongdoing, I mean writing in letters to make sure no one else found out. Please…

Linking my angry history rant on Paul Robeson from last semester here.

Happy Black History Month.

[rizzraa]

ᯓ★ Jams and Jellies

Chapter 1: Once More to See You

Hello everyone! My name is rizzraa and it's my first time ever posting fanfiction. It's been a while since I wrote an actual story, and even then I still don't think I'm the greatest writer. If you could be patient with me, I'd appreciate that. I don't mind constructive criticism, in fact I welcome it lol. I'm not sure how long this series will last, I just wrote one day because my brain couldn't handle all this yearning and daydreaming of Joel Miller. I didn't even watch the show, it's the tlou community that got ahold of me 😭

So please bear with me and have fun with me :33

Tags: mainly fluff, friends to lovers, post outbreak, yearning and burning, slight age gap (reader is in 30s, Joel is in early 50s), reader insert, mentions of y/n, cute nicknames, overall just an imaginary scenario in my head, shy n awkward Joel, Joel x f!reader, I can't think of anything else for this chapter

Summary:

You are an eccentric and lovely art teacher, trying to foster creativity in youth and elders alike in Jackson. One student seems to have that same artistic flair as you, and it naturally draws you closer to her. Her father notices this and wants you to get closer to him as well.

chap 2

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

You stare at the ceiling as the sun's rays stubbornly peers through the slits of your curtains. You can tell that the sun is starting to rise by how bright the light gets each second. I wonder what I should do today. How can I get them to be more...just more?? It's hard trying to get teenagers to engage with school, but it's straight up embarrassing trying to beg for their attention. You have a lot of energy, you are passionate for the arts, but it seems like that's the last thing the kids are thinking about. Well, they are teenagers. But even then, I still was fond of the arts. It's not THAT boring??? It's fun....? You sighed, getting up from your bed and preparing for the day. You decided that today is the day they will start to appreciate the artistry of the world, because today you will get through to them. With this newfound optimism, you scurry off to the bathroom after realizing your bladder is about to burst.

==========

"Okay kids, today is the start of a new day! Today..we will start a new project!" You announced brightly. Since the start of the school year, you allowed the kids to slack off as a way to destress, but you realize you should be doing more to help them cope with the realities of the outbreak. And they weren't exacrly respecting your quaint classroom.

"Aw come on Miss, why are you springing this on us all of a sudden?"

"Yeah, we already got projects from other classes.."

You inhaled sharply, trying to keep your composure. "Alright listen kids, this class is supposed to allow you wind down and relax, but the way you're supposed to do that in here is through art. It's not just some hangout, it's still a classroom." You paused, looking around at the indifferent kids. "Please guys, trust me when I say this-- art is such a unique and magnificent way to express yourself. It doesn't have to be beautiful, it just has to be you."

You looked around, trying to see if you got through to the kids. Your pleading eyes landed on one girl. Ellie Miller, you thought. She gave you a small, reassuring smile. I understand you, her eyes said. You smiled back, thankful you got through one kid.

You clapped your hands, "All right, here's the project: Each of you will create a portfolio of 5 different pieces of art that represents you. You are allowed to use different media. I expect each piece to have a small paragraph explaining what it is and what your art process was." Your eyes examined the room; some kids looked interested, while others looked annoyed. You continued, "This project is due on June 1st. You will present your project. And..." You paused, waiting for dramatic effect, "I will personally select the most unique and interesting pieces to be displayed at the End-of-the-School-Year Party!" Murmurs and exciting chatter spread across like wildfire, and you mentally patted yourself on the back. "Yes, that's right, children, so you better impress me. Allow yourselves to think boldly, go above and beyond!" You giggled.

"...What if we don't have that much creativity?" One kid shyly asked. Dina, you remembered.

"Well you can come on by anytime, I'm always in this classroom until 5pm! And feel free to bother me at any point outside of class!" You replied.

She gave a quick smile, and you clocked the way Ellie peeked at her from the corner of her eyes. You were always observant of others.

"Alright everyone, get to brainstorming!" The muffled chatter and shuffling grew louder, "Feel free to ask any questions!" Hearing yourself being drowned out by the noise, you decide to stop talking.

Heh, they're finally getting it, you thought smugly. You strolled back to your desk with a noticeable pep in each step.

===========

You looked at the clock, 6:30pm it read. God, has it really been that long? You scan through today's events after you announced the project. Kids moving and talking wildly-- you practically had to kick them out of your door to get to their next class. You sighed, packing up your things and leaving the classroom. I should pick up some groceries, I don't think I have much left in the fridge. You scurried to the nearest market, tugging and pulling at your way-too-heavy bag. You roam through each aisle, getting some fruits, staring at the mouth-watering jams, before hearing a familiar voice cut through your thoughts.

"---Aw, cmon Joel. Just for a quick minute."

"No. We can't risk it."

"But---!"

"Tut-tut--- it's only been getting more dangerous out there kiddo. I'm sorry, but I won't risk it"

You shuffled the jars around and made eye contact with Ellie.

"Uh...hi again" You said nervously. Your eyes flitting from Ellie to the man she was talking to.

Your breath stutters as you finally lay eyes on the dark, brooding man standing besides Ellie. His flannel didn't mask his obnoxiously broad shoulders, in fact it framed him even better. It also didn't help that it was painfully obvious that Joel was bending down to meet your eyes through the aisle shelves, his collarbone peeking through and his eyes getting narrower. But what really drawn you to him was his gorgeous face. His smoldering, deep brown eyes staring back at you, trying to figure you out. But that didn't scare you in the slightest. His perfect wrinkles showing slightly due to his frustration only made you more attracted to this finely drawn man. His pursued lips were sitting on his face and that drew attention to the graying streaks in his mustache and beard. In fact, you started noticing the beautiful strikes of silver across each hair on his head and face. The longer you stared, the more flustered the man got. Eventually he turned away from your gaze, locking eyes with Ellie, who you completely forgot was standing there.

"Oh- I, uh- I'm sorry, it's just- I don't see you around.. um anyways.. I'm [y/n].." You embarrassingly stuttered. God, could you get any more awkward than this??? Pull yourself together, he's just a man!

"Oh well, s'nice to meet ya, Miss. I'm Joel." He nodded. You gave a quick smile and turned your attention back to Ellie, ignoring the feeling that Joel might also be staring at you a little too long. "Everything okay, Ellie? Are there any issues with the project?" You cooly asked.

"Actually, yes-- Joel won't let me venture past the gates, even if he was my chaperone."

"Well, I mean, there IS an ongoing epidemic of infectious monsters.."

"Yeah, well it's nothing I can't handle." She rolled her eyes

"What was that?" You asked quizzically

Her and Joel exchange quick glances, "Nevermind" she said, turning back to face you.

"I.. okay well, I have a garden in my backyard if you want some nature-like inspiration!" You said with enthusiasm and made jazz hands, earning a chuckle from Ellie and a slight smile from Joel. You feel odd pride and a little swell in your heart, and decide to ignore it for now.

"Yeah okay, think I can stop by this weekend?" Ellie asked

"Yeah of course honey, like I said; bother me anytime."

"She'll take you up on that offer, for sure." Joel chuckled. You looked at him adoringly, then said "If it's Ellie, it's no bother." You shot him a terrific smile that caused him to glance slightly away, and you were suddenly aware of how red he became.

"Alright--" Ellie cut in, "we're not gonna keep you any longer, teach. See ya soon!"

"Bye Ellie, bye Joel." You waved at them

You stare at the jams you pushed aside, smiling like the giddy teenage girl you once were. How far away that seemed now, after everything that happened. You snapped out of it, feeling that pain in your chest creep back up. You looked gingerly at the jams you pushed away, remembering the artistic strokes and lines of Joel's face. Oh how strong and sharp he looked. You giggled as you remembered his red face, his curled lips, his exposed collarbone, his broad shoulders. This time you didn't snap out of your sudden trance, your face getting redder at each thought you had of Joel.

Oh God, is all you can say.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

Thanks for reading! Please feel free to share your thoughts or ideas, I welcome it all! Have a wonderful day :DD

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Propaganda why Light Yagami is insufferable:

Had a great chance to actually solve the problems of the world but he decided to go after petty criminals instead of actual bad guys shaking my head. He thought he was so smart but got caught being suspected to be Kira before he even had his next birthday. How do you fuck up that badly? It’s a book you write peoples names in…Nice move, FedEx

Also his personality is awful

HE DIDNT DESERVE TO PULL A GOTH GIRL

Idk if he counts because he's SUPPOSED to be insufferable. But I don't care because I want to punch him in the face anyway. Oh and before the Light stans come at me let me say: thanks but I don't want your 5 paragraphs explaining why he's so complex and was corrupted and rationalized murder as a defense mechanism to avoid confronting the possibility that he might have done something that would make him irredeemable and evil and how in the manga he lost weight due to the psychological strain because I know. I think he's fascinating too but good God. He's so annoying.

he's like if a cop was a bitchy teenager about it

Propaganda why Anakin Skywalker is insufferable:

the guy has zero critical thinking skills, he whines about everything all the time. I love him, but he’s awful to listen to.

Yes he was probably directed to act that way but the way his lines were written did not help

THIS BITCH. I HATE HIM. NO CRITICAL THINKING. NO SELF AWARENESS. WHINY MURDEROUS ASSHOLE. LIKE SERIOUSLY. He's a JEDI. LIKE. THEY HAVE HISTORY CLASSES!!!! He should have KNOWNNNNNN that when he had prophetic dreams they're not necessarily true!!!!! Also like. In the Star Wars universe, do Jedi just not have imaginations that can create NORMAL dreams when they sleep??? Do Jedi just not usually dream??? If he hadn't gotten paranoid from the dreams of Padme dying in childbirth BILLIONS OF LIVES WOULD HAVE BEEN SAVED. FOR THAT MATTER, if you're gonna have A SUPER ILLEGAL SUPER SECRET MARRIAGE, wouldn't you, I don't know, USE PROTECTION SO THAT YOUR WIFE WHO IS SECRETLY AND ILLEGALLY MARRIED DOESN'T GET PREGANANANT????? LIKE LOOK I LOVE LUKE AND LEIA MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF BUT THEIR PARENTS WERE SO FUCKING STUPID. ANAKIN SKYWALKER HATES CONDOMS BECAUSE THEY DONT FEEL AS GOOD I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. Man is an IDIOT. How can you have had a role model and father figure like Obi-Wan for most of your fucking life and grow up to do the shitty, STUPID things Anakin did. Ok this is way too long I'm sorry but I love Obi-Wan so much and Anakin ruined his fucking life and hes just such a little DICK. MURDERED A WHOLE VILLAGE OF SAND PEOPLE. AND DOZENS IF NOT HUNDREDS OF CHILDRENNNNNNNN. ANGSTY WHINY TEENAGER. FUCK HIMMMMMMM

[crossstitchbossbitch-blog]

Storytime: Believing in Santa, or "I bet you were a delight"

Yesterday on a lunch outing with 5 work colleagues, 3 of whom are parents of kids under 10, plus myself and another young-ish woman who are childless but have enough dealings with sprogs... the conversation turns to Christmas and belief in things like Father Christmas/ Santa, the Tooth Fairy and whatnot.

After general sharing of stories including the parents talking about when their kid stopped believing, or had it told to them by an older kid, I shared my story of having a debate in primary school (y5 or y6, so age 9 or 10) about whether Father Christmas was real.

I had read the Hogfather by Terry Pratchett by that age and shared his solution to the conundrum: that many of these beings can be described as an anthropomorphic personification, and the more belief people have in it, the more real it becomes.

I really like this notion: it gives strength to magic, superstition, beliefs and faith alike. This is how religions rise and fall, how supernatural phenomena won't occur around skeptics and how some things are just ingrained into our collective psyche, because somewhere in our subconscious there is a grain of memory or residual belief about it. It waxes and wanes with the power of collective thought and storytelling, and for those that have time for it, it is as real as you make it.

I didn't say any of that following paragraph, just said the first bit about using it in a primary school debate and it being from Terry Pratchett and the Hogfather; to which the other young woman retorted, "Oh, I bet you were a delight".

I don't know whether I'm meant to be offended. At the time I laughed, and the conversation moved on.

But honestly, I worry that it was meant in a mean way and that kind of upsets me. I have always treasured being able to circumvent the breaking of the illusion and the loss of innocence. I love the fact that reading, an activity always pleasing to grownups, had given me that gift of knowledge and terminology for something I wanted to understand.

Sir Pratchett's influence on the nerdy, the neurodivergent and the not-very-cool is profound and far reaching even after his death. Of course, he was a bestselling author and millions of people have read his works, so I assume neurotypical people have also read his books!

I don't know if I should be sad that this person who called me sarcastically, "a delight", just never got the memo about the wholesome quirky cool that is Pratchett's worldview.

Maybe I am taking offence where none was intended - I guess having a 9 year old use big words could be annoying to adults, but I think it's a good thing. I really wish I could read half as voraciously as I did when I was a child. I miss getting lost in fantasy worlds of literature and by gosh I miss Terry Pratchett. It's it just nostalgia? Maybe. But also if I lose this shit, I probably lose even more of my identity and continue down the slope of depression and anxiety that began around that age. I keep getting told I look so young (I'm 31) and I know that ADHDers do grow up slower than their neurotypical peers. It takes longer for our brains to develop. The ADHD / Autistic brain doesn't "prune" neural pathways and the overlap can contribute to positive and negative elements of cognitive differences. E.g. improved pattern recognition vs sensory overload. I would cite the studies I have looked at, but I can't be bothered digging through my browsing history.

This is one of those times where I overthink the interaction and realise I'm possibly at fault for being "too much", or reflect on a childhood memory and have it reframed as another example of me being neurodivergent and not fitting in. But at that point in time, age 9 or 10, the other kids on my debate team seemed fine with me sharing my point and explaining it, as a means to an end in completing the class debate. I thought I was welcomed.

It's only with this comment, I find myself wondering how much of my past conduct was actually too much or too weird or too different for other people.

Ironically, this lunch came after we had an hour long presentation from the EDI (Equality, Diversity and Inclusion) team at work... where they specifically outlined how feeling "othered" can negatively affect behaviour.

Cool. Cool Cool Cool.

[hjemne]

Long rant. If my housemate turns up strangled then you're not allowed to use this in court against me or whatever. My genuine opinion is that this guy needs amphetamines and financial hardship, and he's not going to bother getting better without that

Housemate has 6 exams to pass, then one more year of university. Housemate has taken 2 years out already. Housemate goes to Very Prestigious University who very rarely lets people take 2 years out to begin with.

Housemate moves in mid-April. Literally does not leave the house for over a month. Lives off deliveroo. Does negative amounts of housework. Comes out to shower twice a day for 30+ mins with boiling hot water. Otherwise is in his room 23/7. Turned down all offers to socialise 'until after exams' starting two months before exams.

Housemate does not go to revision classes. Housemate does not go to lectures. Housemate does not do anything.

Day before first exam, housemate realises he misread his exam timetable. He has not prepared for the exam the next day. This is somehow not his fault. Housemate decides to take a third year out. Housemate misses the first exam. Housemate's father flies across the world to support him.

Housemate schedules a meeting to discuss taking a third year out. The meeting is at the same time as his second exam. Housemate misses his second exam. Very Prestigious University decides he cannot take a third year out. Housemate thinks this is unfair, because one person in the past was allowed to take three years out. Housemate does not appreciate how exceptional it is to be allowed to take even two years out. Very Prestigious University gives him a very generous compromise of averaging his mark for the final four exams, ignoring the two he missed. Housemate does not appreciate how exceptional this offer is.

Housemate has 6 days between the meeting and his first (third) exam. Housemates sister flies across the world to support him. Housemate decides the day before his first (third) exam that he is dropping out. Housemate immediately gives up at the second first sign of trouble. Housemate wants to change to a different course but stay at the Very Prestigious University. Housemate is fucking deluded about his reality.

Meanwhile, I have sat 6 exams in 8 days at the same Very Prestigious University, representing over 60% of my final grade for my entire 4 year degree.

Housemate has ADHD and depression. I have ADHD and depression. Housemate faced close family bereavement last year. I faced close family bereavement two months ago. Housemate is sad because 5 years ago he was 'falsely accused of rape' and lost friends. I was raped by my domestic partner last year and could only start processing it a few months ago when my housing no longer depended on staying with my rapist. Housemate thinks he has suffered more than Jesus on the cross and so should get special exemptions to university rules (he also thinks he should get his third year off because he misread the single paragraph rule around taking time off). Housemate doesn't seem to consider that other people also have things going on in their lives, but which they have to push through and deal with by actively engaging in the support available instead of months-long self-imposed isolation. Housemate told the university staff who have been helping him that it's the university's problem if so many people are struggling. Which may be true but is a bold fucking move from the guy who has done nothing for multiple years and then expects the university staff to bail him out last minute and do what he wants them to do.

Housemate is also a terrible housemate. Housemate continues to misgender NB housemate. Housemate owes NB housemate hundreds in unpaid bills that he forgets about. Housemate got me alone in his room at 2am and tried to kiss me despite me giving zero indication that I in any way wanted that. Housemate does not do the very very simplest of household tasks despite multiple verbal, texted and printed reminders. Housemate leaves blood (from acne) in the bathroom for others to clean up. Housemate is so goddamn useless and willfully, deliberately ignorant that he doesn't bother trying to unload the dishwasher "because he doesn't know where plates go" my brother in Christ you have spent four months in this house and it is a tiny fucking house!!!!!!! Use your eyeballs you obtuse motherfucker!!!! do you not have a shred of curiosity or independence?? Is there truly nothing going on upstairs?? It's not even that he needs everything spelled out for him, because no matter how many reminders he gets, he still doesn't do it. He needs everything done for him. He doesn't even get his groceries from the shop 5 mins away bc he gets everything delivered. He is 23. He has actively and deliberately cut himself off from others, and then moans about not having a 'proper university experience'. He genuinely seems to believe in his own self-importance, genuinely seems to believe that rules should bend around whatever he wants to happen. He thinks he's the world's specialest and most persecuted little guy when he's really just an incompetent man who cannot function without being coddled by mummy or without being bankrolled by daddy, who is driving himself further into his mental health spiral by refusing to face up to responsibility or reality or consequences. And he can afford to do this because his family are extremely wealthy, so he can always find an escape from doing anything even slightly hard. Because family money gives him the ability to do nothing at all! And so he wont! Because he's not even attempting to manage his ADHD, and so he will always procrastinate until the last minute, then use his money to wiggle out of it anyway. It's destroying him!! And he's destroying my sanity!

I'm going to start tearing him limb from limb with my teeth.

Only positive is that I now look incredible in comparison. Doesn't matter what grade I graduate with, because I at least will graduate

[almostpleasantrebel]

Dozens of Songs Tag Game

I was tagged by the lovely @thebiwifeonao3 for the dozens of songs tag game!!! Here’s how to play. Also I’m sorry for how much M*A*S*H is on this.

step one:

so here's the game: 12 songs you've recently listened to (include a lyric that you like maybe), 12 ships (can be solo or platonic, dw) (hard mode: from 12 fandoms???) that the songs loosely make you think of, & tag 12 people to do the same.

easy mode: do half a dozen instead idk

here's a fun idea: you could even listen to the playlist from the person who tagged you to use some/all of their song picks!!

step two:

whether you've been tagged or not, you can send an ask with the song & pairing and create a work based on the idea. And the theme of 12 is fun so could be 12 characters, words, paragraphs, chapters, anything!

profit!!! (have fun & maybe end up reading some new fic!)

Songs and ships under the read more thingy

1. XXL (LANY) — Margaret Houlihan/Lorraine Anderson, M*A*S*H

Backseat secrets we will never tell

2. Apocalypse (Cigarettes After Sex) — Margaret Houlihan/Helen Whitfield, M*A*S*H

Your lips, my lips, apocalypse

3. She Looks So Perfect (5 Seconds Of Summer) — Margaret Houlihan/Hawkeye Pierce, M*A*S*H

Your lipstick stain is a work of art

4. Only You (Yaz) — Elizabeth Corday/Anna Del Amico, ER

All I needed was the love you gave all I needed for another day and all I ever knew only you

5. At The Ballet (Kelly Bishop, Nancy Lane & Kay Cole) — Margaret Houlihan, M*A*S*H

Everything was beautiful at the ballet. Graceful men lift lovely girls in white. Yes, everything was beautiful at ballet. Hey! I was happy... at the ballet. That's why I started class... Up a steep and very narrow stairway. To the voice like a metronome. Up a steep and very narrow stairway. It wasn't paradise... It wasn't paradise... It wasn't paradise... But it was home.

6. Trouble (Kristin Hersh) — Abigail Marjorie Lockhart, ER

Trouble oh trouble can't you see you have made me a wreck now won't you leave me in my misery

7. Summer, Highland Falls (Billy Joel) — Elizabeth Corday/Mark Greene, ER

For we are always what our situations hand us

8. Miss Atomic Bomb (The Killers) — Margaret Houlihan/Trapper John McIntyre, M*A*S*H

All that I wanted was a little touch, a little tenderness and truth, I didn't ask for much, no talk about being at the wrong place at the wrong time

9. Until The World Ends (Arch Tremors feat. Lollo Gardtman) — Margaret Houlihan & B.J. Hunnicutt, M*A*S*H

And you are safe with me until the world ends

10. There Is A Light That Never Goes Out (The Smiths) — Margaret Houlihan/Peggy Bigelow, M*A*S*H

Take me out tonight where there's music and there's people and they're young and alive driving in your car I never, never want to go home because I haven't got one anymore

11. Father and Son (Cat Stevens) — Margaret Houlihan & Alvin Houlihan, M*A*S*H

How can I try to explain? When I do he turns away again It's always been the same same old story from the moment I could talk I was ordered to listen, now there's a way and I know that I have to go away I know I have to go

12. Remember Me (Lullaby) ((Gael García Bernal, Gabriella Flores & Libertad García Fonzi)) — Henry Blake/Lorraine Blake, M*A*S*H

Remember me though I have to say goodbye remember me, don't let it make you cry for even if I'm far away, I hold you in my heart I sing a secret song to you each night we are apart

Tags: @remyfire @mercysong-tardis @cuddleswinchester @allcanonisrelative and anyone else who would like to participate

[occult-roommates]

5 fun facts about Dawud

Thanks to @bnt0​ for this, didn’t expect anyone to actually ask so thank you so much!

1) In my original draft of the story, the part about him being a gifted child who skipped several years of school was still there, however he did graduate college instead of dropping out. I think I changed it to dropping out cause I realized even if he skipped grades my timeline did not match considering he’s only 23 at the beginning.

2) He got his red ring from his father, which has been a family heirloom for a few generations at that point, though nobody really knows where the ring originated from. Also the ring wasn’t really supposed to be a thing (in his original character profile he’s not even wearing it), it’s just that when I made the first chapter, where he’s wearing his cold weather outfit, I forgot to remove the game generated accessories and only noticed after the screenshots were taken. So I told myself that, well, it’s gonna be a part of his design now. It even fits his color scheme so...

3) Speaking of color, he’s colorblind, though it’s pretty mild. Did ruined his original goal in life, he wanted to be an aeronautical engineer like his father. So he decided to go in computer programming instead. However, as you could guess from the fact he dropped out, he was terrible at it. He’s pretty happy with being an aircraft mechanic though...wait a minute.

*google “can you be an aircraft mechanic if you’re colorblind”* oh ok he’s fine.

4) While he grew up an only child, he almost had a sibling, but his mom sadly lost the baby fairly late into the pregnancy, which as to make this worse was the triggering that ultimately caused his parents to divorce. His parents had shared custody, though he’s always been a daddy boy. Also, since his parents were often very busy at works, he spent a huge chunk of his childhood living with the Newberrys and consider Audrey like his sister to an extent. 

5) He wishes he could speak more languages than English, but he’s just terrible at learning new one. Like, in spite of his mother’s best attempt he can barely speak Arabic beyond a few basic sentences, doesn’t know any Spanish after living in Arizona his entire life, and forgot most of his high school German classes. On the other hand, he’s weirdly good at pronounciation and accent.

So that’s it, the five fun facts...I mean those are entire paragraphs of random information (and one of them is more about the making of than the actual character) instead of little facts but it’s written nowhere that I couldn’t do that! 

[anewkindofme]

I was curious about what kind of legal accommodations a parent/ caregiver would get for themselves and their kid/little? What kind of legal protections or laws there? Are there certain laws the parents/caregivers and their kid/little need to abid by even when in big space? Are there certain government programs? Tk and Owen are government employee so are there any rules they might need to follow or any programs they could take advantage of? Are parents who are caregivers for Littles who are their children treated differently than caregivers who care for Littles that are not? Do certain Littles a need full time caregivers while others do not? What would have happen for a little to legal require a full time caregiver and for a little who is required to need one how might they try to prove they don’t need a caregiver? Is there a legal process to becoming someone’s caregiver, be it part-time or full-time? Since Tk is a government employee and in a dangerous job is he required to go in to little space more and take care of his little side more because it could dangerous if he drop in the middle of a fire? Are Littles considered a protected class and at have there movements for the rights of Littles? What is the oldest little space that is shown in Littles and what is the youngest? Are their little specialized stores?Just curious about the little verse universe and the legal system in lone star and such. Answer what you please. It is a lot of questions. Hope you’re having a nice day :).

Ask me for headcanons on characters from my fandom list!

Whoa! That's a lot of questions! Let's see if I can answer all of these.:)

In the future, please split these up into paragraphs. Also, limit it to 5 questions per ask. This was kind of overwhelming to read and try to sort out in my head. Thank you for all your support and enthusiasm!

I was curious about what kind of legal accommodations a parent/ caregiver would get for themselves and their kid/little? What kind of legal protections or laws there? Are there certain laws the parents/caregivers and their kid/little need to abid by even when in big space?

So, listing all the laws and stuff would be pretty boring haha. It's similar to the same laws and protections that parents of children have every single day. Same with laws in terms of things like neglect, abuse, etc.

Unless the state deems a Little incapable of caring for themselves even when they're big, they don't need a caregiver and can choose to live on their own. That means that caregivers can't force a Little to stay with them outside of that and it could be considered kidnapping/abuse. Same with forcing someone to regress. While Owen has rules and said TK had to move with him, technically TK is free to leave at any time. He is choosing to do all of these things because he knows it's what's best for him and he wants to be with his dad. It's why he was able to live on his own in New York.

Are there certain government programs? Tk and Owen are government employee so are there any rules they might need to follow or any programs they could take advantage of?

There are government programs, again, same as ones that already exist. TK doesn't really qualify for any of them, outside the ones that allow a reasonable amount of time off work when he regresses. There are financial programs and things of that nature, but TK and Owen wouldn't qualify for that.

Are parents who are caregivers for Littles who are their children treated differently than caregivers who care for Littles that are not?

No. There's such a wide spectrum of caregivers that nobody really bats an eye. They're all taken seriously and considered valid. There are some people with biases, of course, but it applies to unique situations that aren't applicable to TK and Owen. I've gone into them in my other verses. For example, in "I'm right here", Stefan and Damon have run into people who don't like that they still consider each other brothers vs father/son and think that Stefan needs "real parents". Also in "My Two Dads", there are still homophobes that think there should be one male, one female caregiver. But biology is never an issue in these verses.

Do certain Littles a need full time caregivers while others do not?

Yes. As I said above, TK didn't need a full-time caregiver previously. Now, he does. It all depends on how the person functions in both spaces.

What would have happen for a little to legal require a full time caregiver and for a little who is required to need one how might they try to prove they don’t need a caregiver?

It would have to be proven that they can take care of themselves when regressed. Such as being able to maintain a job, self-care, etc. If they are unable to care for themselves, they need a caregiver. There are social workers who decide these things.

Is there a legal process to becoming someone’s caregiver, be it part-time or full-time?

There's only a legal process if you're becoming one for a Little who has been deemed unable to live on their own. I only really go into this in my fic "Chosen". Outside that, you can have anyone be your caregiver.

Since Tk is a government employee and in a dangerous job is he required to go in to little space more and take care of his little side more because it could dangerous if he drop in the middle of a fire?

They can't ever force someone to regress. Rather, they make sure government employees like TK are not the ones who would randomly regress in a situation such as that. It would take a lot for TK to regress on a call. Usually, even if he starts feeling Little, he can put it off until the job is done. And again, that'll be something I go into so I won't speak more on it.

Are Littles considered a protected class and at have there movements for the rights of Littles?

Littles are definitely considered a protected class. As I said, there are laws put in place, so there's always movements, research, etc being done to make sure they are properly being cared for and also have rights, just like caregivers.

What is the oldest little space that is shown in Littles and what is the youngest?

There are spaces of all ages, starting with babies and going all the way up to teens. How young/old a person regresses varies.

Are their little specialized stores?

Yup! It's how they make sure that Littles have everything they want/need. There are also doctors who specialize in treating Littles. I showed this in my Little!Mateo one shot, where he went to the dentist. There's also specialized parks, play places, arcades, etc. This protects both biological children and Littles, so they can have their own spaces.

[perceabeth]

I posted 2,507 times in 2022

That's 2,237 more posts than 2021!

1,270 posts created (51%)

1,237 posts reblogged (49%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mattyhelvars

@lizzibennet

@spyderverse

@abc2411

@whitesunlars

I tagged 1,988 of my posts in 2022

Only 21% of my posts had no tags

#q&a - 658 posts

#stevie - 425 posts

#fic recs - 56 posts

#potc - 54 posts

#alex - 29 posts

#siminie doodles - 24 posts

#lys - 23 posts

#melissa - 22 posts

#godly-mistake - 17 posts

#dizzy miss lizzie - 16 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#mostly my writing is to keep my attention actually bc i can’t deal w long paragraphs i’ve stopped so many good fics bc i can’t do it girl….

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

TTC is literally ELITE like. girls who get it Get it. annabeth falling off a cliff and percy wanting to go after her. percy and thalia’s tension actually threatening to destroy camp. bianca di angelo. love leads heroes astray. aphrodite looked a little like annabeth when she smiled. grover finally feels pans presence. percy going mental thinking annabeth was joining the hunters. the grey streaks. apollo  aphrodite and athena all helping them along. zoe and the dragon. zoe and her father. percy giving up the fight to take the sky. a little sad but a little hopeful too. and all of this-- ALL OF THIS-- is set in WINTER in the harsh cold and the unforgiving snow?? the ONLY book set in december??? absolute TOP class

902 notes - Posted January 28, 2022

#4

ur telling me,, Elizabeth Swann manages to have the jack sparrow fall in love with her, becomes captain of a crew, loses everybody she has ever cared about, gets voted in as pirate king, escapes the confines of her life as the governor’s daughter which literally choked her in the first film, rescues and then marries the love of her life, delivers the single greatest speech on piracy and freedom and is then subjected to a LIFE ON LAND????

1,173 notes - Posted January 9, 2022

#3

stop it im begging u to stop oversimplifying characters so they fit a trope u are comfortable with sometimes writing IS better than that

1,259 notes - Posted May 26, 2022

#2

u guys i just remembered that percy looked at annabeth and said she looked like a princess and annabeth looked at him and decided he'd make good BAIT to win capture the flag so she can avoid doing her chores for a week i'm screaming

1,337 notes - Posted April 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Elizabeth Swann was the protagonist of the Pirates films Will was her love interest and Jack was a supporting character and I think it’s time everyone starts admitting it

1,790 notes - Posted April 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[bizarre-blorbo-bracket]

FINAL: Davis (Juror 8) from Twelve Angry Men vs the Bimodal Distribution from statistics

Propaganda under the cut, and it's REALLY worth it:

Davis (Juror 8) (these are all from the single submitter)

a quick lil list babes, and I apologise for all of this in advance:

He's from the fucking film 12 angry men. like, aside from letterbox bootlickers and middle school hass students NO ONE has watched this film let alone care about it, it was made in 1957, is shot almost exclusively in one room and the entire film is just middle aged white men yelling at each other over whether some not white poor kid should be sent to the electric chair. what the fuck.

Henry Fonda, the actor, was 52 years old at the time of filming

Henry Fonda is the father of Jane Fonda, the woman who would revolutionise the 80's with her home workouts and her blindingly neon leg warmers.

His name wasn't revealed until the very end of the film and even then it's just "Davis."

I could honestly give him a lil smooch

He's absolutely not girlypop but he's the ally-iest ally who's ever allied

He's categorised as a "Benevolent Leader" on the Heroes Wiki

instead of the overwhelming urge for me to coddle him like most all other blorbos, i would appreciate it switched

I have a photo of him inside my saxophone case and sometimes i forget he's in there, then he creeps into my saxophone bell and when I play it he shoots out like a ballistic missile

Dude, on ao3 there's more fanfiction about the real life 80's British punk band The Clash than the entire film of 12 angry men, let alone Davis (80 fics come up under the clash, while 10 come up for 12 angry men)

I have a counter, and I've watched 12 Angry men a total of 145 times. The figure is up on my wall in tallies. whenever the number goes up, I like to watch it in 5's so then I can put another full group of tallies on my wall.

I have incredibly detailed stories about how Davis would boogie down to ringo starr's solo career, and they're written within the margins of a book called Tobruk written by Peter Fitzsimons. The only reason I reread that book is to wonder at my elaborate works of fiction

My HASS teacher was the one to introduce me to 12 Angry Men as he played it for the entire class. He gave us a set of questions to complete on the film and a few Law based questions as a little treat, and he expected it to be handed in the next day. What he didn't expect was an 11 page monster of a response that included social commentary, 4 paragraphs dissecting the character of Davis alone, deeply discussed comparisons between the landscapes of politics and law in the 50's to the present, and basically an entire point-for-point summarisation of the film, completed with obscure quotes from Truman, Eisenhower, Nixon and Presley (Elvis). He presented the printed masterpiece in front of the entire class to shame me.

After class he explained how his favourite Juror would either be 6 or 5, because 6 seems like a big dumb teddybear and he just liked 5. I explained how I liked Davis because he didn't want to send a kid to die, then he told me how Davis would make a good cowboy (at this point in time I was unaware of Henry Fonda's role in Once Upon A Time in The West) and I proceeded to go home and write a 3 part orchestral composition that I could pretend would play as the soundtrack to Juror 8: A Cowboy's Tale or something like that

I had started to make an animation meme starring Davis but only gave up when photoshop literally deleted itself from my laptop

I didn't even hear that Juror 8's name was Davis when I first watched it in class, somehow I only heard it on my 6th rewatch but when I did I literally got so excited I literally got winded and cried a little bit, I had to take a panadol because I got so lightheaded

I have learned the musical motif that plays throughout the film on saxophone, clarinet, recorder, guitar, bass, ukulele, piano and trumpet

I have visions of him

One of Davis' 3 children HAS to be gay and nothing can convince me otherwise

honest to god I'd be a home wrecker if it came to him

I quote not only Davis but the film a lot, and sometimes in the dead silence of all my friends I go on about how the old man couldn't have possibly made it to the door in such a short amount of time to see the kid running down the stairs (because the old man has a limp, and Davis proved it my limping around the room, which I have to say was incredibly attractive of him)

He's literally an architect

I once had a dream where Davis was in my bass guitar case when I opened it, and i literally just picked him up and started picking him like a bass guitar until I tried to play a full chord and he bit the hand that was meant to be on the fretboard. I dropped him and he fell on his ass, and when I said "what the hell dude what was that for" he said bass chords are lowkey ugly to listen to, and since then i don't like playing bass chords because now they're lowkey ugly to listen to. before this ordeal, i enjoyed them, but alas

i once got my romantic partner to write me a davis x reader fanfiction as a birthday present

my parents believe that Davis is my first celebrity crush, and while they're actually wrong it's still actually so embarrassing they believe that because OH MY GOD it's literally JUROR 8 FROM 12 ANGRY MEN

I've attempted slam poetry about him

I've eaten a paper printed full a4 size photo of his hand

I would also not mind him to be literally my father, but given the rest of the things I've just said about him that's really weird and I recognise that

the Bimodal Distribution

First of all, it's a math concept. that is already pretty bizarre of a thing to be blorbo-ifying. Second of all, I don't know any calculus, and I don't consider myself a math person (because I hate arithmetic), but I really like this guy for some reason. I mean this graph clearly holds the secrets of the universe. don't you just want to l o o k at it . like you could solve everything in the world with that boy

[mallowstep]

@madam-melon-meow replied to your post “i think i saw that post lol and SAME let me be a...”:

I feel like age gap warriors shipcourse should be more focused on unhealthy dynamics like mentor-apprentice relationships, rather than cross class *literally illegal* romances where the parties have limited time in each other’s company

i think one thing people forget is that in canon there really isn't a lot of what people think there is. mentor-apprentice canon relationships, off the top of my head:

whitetail and onestar

blossomfall and thornclaw*

ferncloud and dustpelt*

squirrelflight and brambleclaw*

morningflower and cloudrunner**

[i think there's one in skyclan?]

*not actually, but could be argued that the older party played enough of a mentorship role to be considered one. i disagree for all three, but they're worth mentioning

**not at all, but cloudrunner was her father's mentor, which is almost worse to me.

like, i did this off the top of my head, it's totally possible i'm missing someone because i didn't scan through every single pairing. but there's certainly not a lot.

i think most age gap shipcourse is dumb. it usually comes from a place of not understanding the relationship between maturity, life milestones, and age: three factors which all play a role in "is this a healthy relationship?"

some examples:

in parks and rec, andy and april get together when he's 29, and she's 21. it's one of the healthiest relationships in the show. looking at just their ages, you'd think it was an unhealthy age gap, but andy hasn't matured very much, and while they don't really share a workplace, april is arguably "above" him, because of her position. they're at the same point in both maturity and life milestones, so the large numeric age difference is a smaller factor.

i would feel incredibly uncomfortable dating an 18yo in high school. i would feel fine dating someone with the exact same birthday if they were in college. i don't think i'm "too old" for an 18yo in high school, but i would feel uncomfortable due to mismatched life milestones.

the thing is our current obsession with "minors" and people under 18 makes a false dichotomy. turing 18 doesn't magically make you a mature adult. becoming an adult is a slow process. i don't make statements about minors unless it's to do with legality, which doesn't matter in warrior cats.

let me take a hypothetical...20 and 25 year old. the 20 year old is in college, the 25 year old is going to grad school at the same place, and they meet at a club they're both members of. i am 100% okay with them dating.

now, in war cat years, 20years is a little over 2 years, and 25years is a little over 3 years.

the thing is that these ages don't translate over time properly. (gonna call 20yo A and 25yo B.) when A is born, B is 5 human years. that would be a little under 3 moons old in cat terms.

do you see how that doesn't line up.

to make my point as clear as possible: if i want them to have a 5 year age gap as adults*, then when A is born, B should be a year old, which is an initial human age gap of 18 years. but by the time A is a year old, it's shrunken to only 5 years.

*it's a bit more complex than that because of how i do aging calculations, where 1yo=18years, and 2yo=24years, but i'm simplifying. this age gap would end up being 4 years which isn't meaningfully different from 5.

now, let's go back to the beginning of my analogy. A and B go to the same college, although B is a grad student, and they meet at a club they both attend. i think it's okay for them to date. it's possible you don't, in which case, add five to both their years, and read the little * after my next paragraph.

this is the situation bluefur and thrushpelt are in. forget other people: i often think about thrushpelt being a warrior when she's born, and thinking that age gap makes me uncomfortable. but when i apply it in real life, in practice, i realize it's something i'm completely fine with.

*bluefur is 2 years 3 seasons old when her kits are born, which in human years is 27. thrushpelt would be 31. he doesn't really flirt with her until around then. so even if you disagree with my 20&25yo thoughts, i hope you're okay with a 27 and 31 year old.

ik this doesn't really relate to your point: it's just that mentor-apprentice ships like never come up, and age gaps do, and i wanted to explain why exactly i find all of this discussion to be a waste of time.

anyway oh my god i rambled for so long i'm logging this in my word tracker.

[manifesting-mari]

Morning Pages 2/8/2023

I’m working on developing my trust for the bigger energies that hold this world together. To trust that i am part of this divine puzzle and i am safe and protected. The systems of oppression have programed us to believe that we are inherently unsafe. The systems that are in place perpetuate the survival and fear when they are fully capable of supporting the health and safety of all. I am no longer interested in adhering to that prediction of reality. I’m in the business of changing the way we allow ourselves to be treated. This is the healing. We no longer allow the systems to separate us. We no longer look at ourselves at separate. We are one whole

I am looking at that last paragraph through my own experience and also through the experience of the collective. We already are connected, and the 3D world makes us think we are separate. Because we are separate in this dimension. Its part of it. Its part of the experience we signed up for. 

I like what Val said on You Made It Weird. Something like “we are someone, some of the one. And we are awesome, some fo the awe.” the interconnectedness is something that i feel very easily and i definitely need to work on my boundaries on that. How do i protect my container? I need to do David’s class again. Maybe i’ll do that today.

Taking that walk with Jordan last night was really healing. Im grateful for the honesty i feel and I’m grateful for all the feelings that come up around them. The butterflies and the squirmy wormies. Last night i noticed the part of me that was judging him. And like, my judgment was that he was a weirdo, and i like weirdos, i am a weirdo, but then i felt a part fo me that thought “this isnt cool” or like “this isn't smooth” it was interesting, the more i felt into it, i could feel this ungroundedness that i look for in male partner. I look for that in male partners because i am not connected with my root. My sense of safety came from my father and i didnt realize how much i turned to men to feel safe. Its ok for me to express when i feel unsafe. And its ok for the people around me to feel unsafe and let me know. And we share how we feel, not to make it go away necessarily, although that is a symptom of this practice. Us expressing we’re both feeling unsafe allows us to support each other through our feelings of unsafety.

There is a song that came up on this playlist called “I Am Woman” and its really hitting me right now. Its on a root chakra playlist and the lyrics for this song are in red. I wonder what the weather is like today. I know later this week its gonna get close to 60. I might go to the beach on that day and sit out in the sun. When i think of my new job i get mixed emotions, mostly because i really enjoy and value having flexibility with my schedule. But this is only a necessary evil until the wedding work starts. 

Interesting how i use the word evil. I still have a long of negative feelings around work like this. Im wondering what that is. There is a whole lot of judgment around a typical 9-5 job or basically any job that is required to give 40 hours. 40 hours is a whole lot. Id rather work 20 hrs a week. 

I think today is the day to flesh out whatever thing i have in my head. Do a practice run of it and get it launched by March. Work it through in March. Record the classes, and then offer it as a grab and play for april. With “guidance hours”

I feel the part fo me that is scared to start this and that is saying that no one is interested. There are people who are interested. Manifesting Mari’s School for Wayward Adults. This is a school for adults who are in a transitional phase and looking to do something different than the system expects. 5 subjects. Reading, Writing, Science, Math, Arts/Music. 4 weeks. 2 offering times. I feel like im getting caught int he details and i need to get more specific on the person who would be a good fit for this class. I think this course is good for people who are working on self discovery

What was the thing i was trying to figure out. Oh. manifesting for disorganized attachment. The law of attraction is hard for me because there are so many different kinds of options that im open to that i cannot commit. The release and surrender had helped me a lot, but im still trying to integrate and process. 

Im feeling very disconnected. Schuyler’s class really helped. Maybe i need to listen to David’s classes too. I should also reach out to Naomi or Ezra. i just feel so weird. I wonder if i should talk to jordan about shame around body and vices. The shame is not actually mine, is it? Like i dont think im doing a bad thing or guilty of something. But i do feel that little bit of me thats like “I’m a bad person and i am a temptress, a seductress, a siren,and a succubus.” im not bad for smoking. Im not bad for being fat. Im not bad for not being attractive. I am not bad for accidentally hurting someone. I am not bad. I am a conduit for love, honesty, and authenticity. 

I want to get better at speaking my truth and being who i am. I am no longer trying to be someone different and trying to get to this wild point. Well i am. But i know my route will bring me home first. Bring me to myself. Bring me to the pure power of I Am that is the strongest power in this 3D world. You cant change someone who is sure of themselves. I used to be sure that i was a piece of shit. Now im sure im not. Now im sure that i am a loving, kind, and forgiving. I am forgiving with myself and with others to the best that i can. Sometimes being forgiving with myself and others can be a challenge, but i give myself grace and patience and allow myself ot heal on its own time. Healing is not my business. I am in the business of freedom, stability, exploration, and expansion. 

Ok. starting now i am living in the present which is a paradise of abundance. I am tuning into what i know is here. I am being present and tuning into the magick that is here. I  am tuning into th empower that is here. I am tuning into the love that exist and i amplify it. I am tuning into what the universe has and i amplify that which is authentic. I amplify that which i am able to. I am powerful and stronger than i think. I know i am powerful. I know i am strong. I know i am smart and capable. I am intelligent and witty. I am safe and protected. I am supported by the earth and i am supported by the divine. I am supported through love. I am a powerful human. I am a powerful medium. I am a sensitive psychic. I am a strong container and conduit for the divine. I am working for the greatest good for all and for the harm to none.

I am dedicated to connection. I am the heart. I am the bridge between the higher and lower. I am a goddess of this lower realm. I am a co creator with the divine and the universe. I am open and i am ready for my roles. I am brave and i am strong. I have all the tools i need. I give myself space and time. I have patience and trust. 

I am part of this positive change in this world. I am the change that i want to see in this world. I am embodying the practices. I am ready for the next step. 

Im gonna take LSD

[crowhyun]

y’all i gotta rant abt this friend i have that’s been getting on my mf nerves lately

okay so lemme set the scene

i was playing the sims and whatnot just chilling and then my friend called me, let’s call her T. She was like “Hey, could you help me w this essay, ik you like to write” and i was like yeah sure, i actually love writing essays

so yeah, i was helping her with the intro paragraph and all that stuff, and then she gets a call from our other friend, let’s call him Z. So, T is like, “hold up lemme answer him then i’ll add you to the call”

and so i’m like sure okay. So a minute later, i get added to the call, and we’re chilling as usual. I help her out and Z is doing his homework. At that time, I was getting bored w the sims, so i switch to playing overwatch, which is a game that relies on a lot of concentration, so when I’m playing, I’m usually not listening to conversation out of it.

And Z and T are talking or whatever, they know i’m awkward and can’t hold a convo, so i usually don’t talk much, and they’re fine w that. So apparently, while i’m playing my game, T asked me a question, and I didn’t even know that she was talking to me bcs she was talking to Z and her mom at the same time, and i’m used to not being acknowledged right.

and i’m like “oh shit sry, i was in the middle of a game” and then Z is like “pause the game” and like…i literally cannot pause the game and i told him that and he was like, “that’s what they all say”. And i just roll my eyes bcs ik he’s kidding, but like at some point it just gets annoying.

and then he goes on to say “how abt you stop playing games and do the work that’s due on the 3rd” and like first of all, don’t fkn do that, bcs you’re not my father or my mother, and I already go through constant nagging w my mom, so it was v annoying. Second of all, I was up all night till fucking 5am to finish TWO assignments bcs all my assignments are so fucking stressful and time consuming.

I explain that to him and then he’s like “you’re an adult, you should be focusing on school and not playing games” like mf give me a damn break, I can’t have fun after not having it for the past week???

I’m literally taking 5 classes at once, you’re taking 1 class bcs you couldn’t handle taking 2, like literally stfu. And ON TOP of that, he starts complaining abt how much work he has to do and that he has a job and yada yada, like damn, sorry you work 15 hours a week for minimum wage and have to take one class, but that’s not my case, and I can take a break when i need to, while you’re using the fact that you are an actual dumbass to get out of helping your friends and actually being of use to people. He’s so fucking annoying, like one or two jokes haha, very funny, but after a bit it just gets annoying. But if I tell him to shut the fuck up one good time, then I’D be the bad person.

I’m telling yall, it’s that aquarius and saturn energy that annoys me sm 😭 they can be so insensitive and have the inability to think about anyone else’s circumstances but theirs

not all ppl w saturn energy tho, just the ones that I’ve dealt w in my life

[andromedainruins]

Homework || Starting a Novel

The first homework for SAN is due on Monday, Jan. 23rd. We are to read up through page 22 in Walter Mosley's The Elements of Fiction. I have found that I have a great distaste for his writing and cannot wait to finish reading this... novella. It doesn't deserve to be called a book. Because this post contains my writing, I have decided to throw in a read more. This post is rather long, and though I would not care about that thanks to the new 'expand post' feature, I do care about the ability to remove my writing in the future if needed during the publishing process.

The Instructions:

-Write down at least one thing you’d like to remember from each of the sections in the assigned Mosley readings; Preface, Introduction, The Structure of Revelation, What Is Structure in Fiction?, The Blank Page, The Novel Is Bigger than Your Head, Context, Character.

Preface “Fiction is one of the few constructive human activities in which we have the potential to make something from almost nothing. Something from nothing. That kind of alchemy is a recipe for failure and also the hope for the miraculous.” pg. vi Introduction “We all have a piece or two of the puzzle somewhere in the depths of our souls” pg. xii The Structure of Revelation “…designed to show us that there has always been hope, even in the darkest moments; and the potential for that hope resides in all of us, no matter our foibles, shortcomings, or even our cowardice.” pg. 2 What Is Structure in Fiction? “Story doesn’t start out as structure but slowly assembles itself into a tale filled with surprises, comparisons, and resolution.” pg. 5 The Blank Page “You cannot dance without stumbling now and then. You cannot build the story without mastering the tools the way children learn to play and speak—by discovering the truth while telling it.” pg. 10 The Novel Is Bigger than Your Head Honestly I didn’t get much from this chapter. I don’t approach writing or stories in the same way that Mosley does. This chapter was about letting things get messy and not knowing where you’re going but like I already do that? I don’t think that much about my stories and the interactions between characters so much as I just write the story I want to tell. It doesn’t matter to me what other people think or what other information they need. I tell what I want to tell from the perspective I want to tell it. Context Same for this chapter. It barely even talked about context, just referred back to the previous chapter and its characters. I get what context is, we use context clues in translations and readings all the time for my other classes. But that’s not even mentioned here. Maybe I just can’t see the meaning of what the author is saying because of the way he phrased it (a qualm I’ve had with the book from the very first sentence), but I see no use in this chapter. Character “Character is a beast of burden… In this way character is also history.” pg. 19-20 These two snippets really stood out to me and resonated with me. The rest of the paragraph in between did not. -Then imagine a broad context for your novel and freewrite, for a page or so, about a particular character within a particular setting within that broader context. You may begin a scene or simply write down ideas that come to mind.

I have an idea for a myth about one of the characters. So far, I have 4 characters that I plan on using in the story. Adonai (the second God), Kit (the MC), Sister Benedictine (Benny, a nun and friend of Kit), and Father David (a priest and friend of Kit). The scene starts with Benny and Kit trying to wrangle kids for story time, a tradition that I fondly remember from my childhood in the Church, that then cuts to the myth itself. 

Growing up in the Church, Kit had always been surrounded by stories. Tales as old as time weaving stories about any and everything.

He could vividly remember sitting in a circle in front of the old Priest of his Parish as he read parables to them.

Those were some of his best memories from that time in his life, so when Benny asked if he wanted to join them today he jumped at the chance.

He had lost his chance to lead these story-time circles when he had dropped out of Seminary. While he never regretted that choice, he did miss this. He loved the way the kids’ eyes would light up as he told the parables, the way that they would hang on to every word and every motion of his hands as he told them.

Now, though, he was sitting with his back pressed up against the book lined shelves of the Church’s library as he watched Benny calm the kids.

He watched as she desperately tried to wrangle the handful of restless children. When it became clear that this wouldn’t work, she instead said, “Now come, children. Let me tell yous a story…”

—

Long ago, before there were humans, there existed two Gods.

One God, Adonai, ruled over the material. They created the world and everything on it, then left the heavens to come live among their creations.

The other God, Elohim, ruled over the spiritual. He is the Universe and the Universe is him. He granted Adonai’s creations the gift of a soul, so that they could have free will.

Under the guiding hand of Elohim, Adonai molded the creation in their image. With the blessing of a soul, this would come to be known as man, Adam in name.

The last thing Adonai created before retreating was the Garden of Eden. A place for mankind to grow and be at peace. At least, that’s what it was supposed to be.

For what he didn’t know as he isolated himself in the remote stretches of woods was that Elohim had planted a thought in the mind of his creation. One that would end with the consumption of the Forbidden Fruit and the start of the Fall of Man.

[these fragments are missing]

… [The] light of Elohim had graced them, telling of the Son of Man that was soon to join them on Earth. They had been asked to oversee the newborn, guide him down the path of light to become humanity’s Messiah.

[another missing section, assumed to be about the life of Jesus the Messiah]

They cried.

As they looked up at the sight of the Son of Man, sacrificed and resurrected once again, they cried.

They cried for the torture that the child had to go through to become the Son of Man. They cried for the souls of their creations, which he had just saved. They cried for the salvation that would spread across the land.

Most importantly, they cried for what was to come.

For they knew that without the Son of Man, that their creations would shun them. Declare them an outcast and punish them. And they were not ready…

[the longest missing passage, assumed to be about The Hunt]

Adonai, having retreated once again, found themselves graced with the light of Elohim.

Tears fell from their eyes as He spoke into being a betrayal.

An apology whispered into the wind as Hunters surrounded Adonai. A curse whispered back as they went down without a fight. After all, who could fight His will?

Seven long days and seven long nights the Hunters traveled. The God could do nothing but watch as they were brought before the Church they had helped create.

For despite their involvement with the creation, they were unknown. They created out of love, and now that love was being repaid with cruelty.

Into the cellar they were led. There they were chained and broken. And there they shall stay.