#my dreams usually get really weird and vivid when I'm experiencing a big change or anxiety or both

[domesticangel]

i honestly feel like i should keep some kind of dream journal bc ive had so many weird ones the past couple nights so I'm gonna talk about them but I'm gonna put them under a cut bc it'll probably get kinda long daflhsjfdsadf

the first one was the most unnerving so tw for like...medical stuff and skin deformalities/necrosis/really bad bruising or something??? idk how to describe it, it wasn't terribly graphic (i very rarely have vivid nightmares or bad dreams) but like i say it was definitely unnerving so? ten cuidado

soooo the first one was really short and simple but kinda scary. so in the dream i was just sitting on the couch at my moms house in my pjs and for some reason started idly touching my boob. then i felt a lump like, underneath my right boob; it was super small and hard like a bb pellet in my skin is the best way i can describe it. so ofc i panicked and ran to the downstairs bathroom (my moms bathroom) and looked in the mirror and pulled my shirt up, and the lump was directly under my boob as opposed to inside it (like i had to pull my boob up to even see it) and surrounded by a like....baseball sized patch of dark brown/black discolored skin. like the lump itself just looked like a very large, very pale mole and the skin around it was dark and almost dry or scaly. so ofc I'm freaking out and i realize theres some more discoloration closer to my side, and i turn my body, and like all down my entire right side and onto my back is this almost bruise like, black brown purple discoloration. none of it had hurt beforehand, but its like as soon as i saw it, all the discolored parts of my skin began pulsing with this like really painful tenderness. so like right as I'm about to scream and yell for my mom, i bolt awake. and you can bet ur ass i immediately sat up in bed and pawed all over my boobies for any lumps and luckily didn't find any lol

the next one was overall really vague with some very small parts that i remember in a lot of detail. for the most part, i was on kind of a medium sized ship with a bunch of other girls. in the dream i knew them at least as acquaintances but i can't remember who any of them were now, though i most likely know them irl. i think some of them were my gdes classmates, but i don't think thats who they actually were in the dream if that makes sense; i think my brain was just using their faces you know what i mean? so anyway we’re out on this boat and its really hot and humid and the sky is DARK gray like a bad storm is coming, almost green-gray like before a twister. i remember in the dream we were supposed to be on the open ocean but it looked a lot like my grandparent’s land out in the sticks as if it had just been majorly flooded. so anyway the waves are really high, and most of them are breaking ONTO the ship, like flooding the deck. and we’re all kind of screaming, but almost in a like, we’re having fun way? like the way you scream when you’re just playing in the ocean and a big wave is about to break on you but its like fun and exciting. and i just remember thinking to myself, i feel like i should be panicking, but I'm not...and thinking stuff like, well isn't it kind of funny to be swimming ON a boat thats in the middle of the open water? like being on a flooded ship before a storm was this fun, novel thing instead of like, cause for actual panic. it was really weird. i remember feeling really close to all the girls and glad i was with them even though i don't know who they were.

the one i had last night was really fun. so in the dream me, my brother, and my brothers gf were hanging out at my gram and pa’s house (same ones who's land was flooded in the previous dream tho thats not relevant to this one) and they're my grandparents on my dads side so like my entire dads side of the family was there. and we’re all just kind of hanging out when all of a sudden this like.....team of people busts in the door not unlike a police raid? except the team was made up of like, people in black suits and sunglasses and like.....thespians dressed in various stage costumes. like, the urgency of a police raid, but conducted by and made up of....the men in black and theater performers? idk man. and we are like, not as shocked by this as we should be, but still a little caught off guard. and one of them stands up on the coffee table in the middle of us and announces that they're going to make us play a game wherein we will be assigned roles and we have to play the part, and if we play it poorly they'll like....do something bad to us. they either never specified what the bad thing was or i just don't remember; as far as i can remember whenever someone failed to play their role well they were like whisked away out of sight by one of the thespians and we didn't know what happened to them. like my cousin was over it before it even started and was like I'm not doing this dumb shit so they just hauled him off to a different room and he was gone for the rest of the dream idk. so anyway, we’re being assigned our roles, and I'm told i have to play a waitress. and I'm like damn ok thats easy, ive worked with a lot of waitresses so i know how they act. so basically I'm getting really into it; i go into my gram’s kitchen and find like a tea set so i can serve everyone tea, and i even find one of those circular pizza pans to act as like those big round trays servers carry food and drinks out on. like I'm getting PROPS I'm SO serious about this. so basically the living room is in chaos; everyone is playing a different role while being “coached” and shouted at by the people in suits and costumes, like i remember my pa got assigned the role of a fur trapper so he was wearing a coonskin cap and trying to sell furs to one of the men in suits, and my dad had to be like an australian fishing expert and my brother had to be a dog breeder and I'm kinda just flitting around the room politely interrupting to ask if they'd like some tea or needed a refill, and they'd be like oh yes thank you then go back to shouting, and like none of them ever noticed or interacted with me bc i just fell into my role so naturally and just skirted the edges of the room serving people tea and stuff. i remember i was having a lot of fun. it was so weird

[heartshapedbubble]

Hello! if u don't mind, can i request some hcs with Eli and William spending time with their sibling? (platonic ofc) ty <3

here you go anon! sorry for the long wait ToT

eli clark and william ellis spending time with their sibling hcs🦉🏈

eli clark🦉

loves bonding with you! not as energetic as william but he sure is enthusiastic

makes a small bucket list of things he wants to do with you when you're free

^most of the things on it include nature and relaxing outside ! however he's not opposed to watching a movie together or something

he would love if you wanted to go birdwatching with him, he doesn't want to ask you first though since he thinks it's generally seen as a boring hobby

as an older sibling (i really can't imagine him as the youngest one nfdbbf eventually the middle child), eli is more protective of you but in a loving way

prepared for absolutely everything when you two go out - snacks? checked. med kit? checked. extra clothes? checked

his eyesight is weird since he sees through brooke - he can see everything in third person and it feels odd so you two have a mini inside gimmick thing? where you can let him know if you're near him, like two taps on his shoulder or something so he knows it's you

has really vivid dreams and hes SUUUPER enthusiastic about them and tells you everything that happens in them

"and then the - you wouldn't believe it - giant spider fell down onto the floor and morphed into a whole new creature, and the environment changed too and i suddenly got turned into a mous-" "eli, i'm starting to think you do drugs before you go to sleep every night"

also quite passionate about astronomy so you two often spend your summer nights watching the night sky, especially during a meteor shower

he likes to knit in his free time and for your birthday he gifted you a similar scarf to his :)) finds it cute when you two match clothes and go outside

eli is a really good listener! no matter if it's you just venting or asking for advice from someone more experienced, he's always there for you

likes building snowmen during the winter!! he'll make a snowman resembling you

has insomnia and frequently wakes you up to ask you some question he thought of

"___, you awake?" "jeez eli of course i am when you woke me up, it's like 2am, what is it?" "do you think that dogs ever think of the colors they can't see??? like do they just live without knowing pink exists?" "go to sleep oh my god"

very ticklish. use that to your advantage whenever possible 😈😈

feeds stray animals frequently and would love if you accompanied him! during the winter he sets up those bird feeders and he often brings local stray cats and dogs food

william ellis🏈

super energetic big bro!!!! it's never boring when he's by your side

you two would definetly have a secret handshake hehe

obviously his favorite way of spending time with you is sports! they improve cooperativeness between people and are so much fun

even though he mostly plays football and rugby you two will often play basketball, tennis and other sports together

if you're too short to reach the hoop he's going to pick you up and hold you higher so you can shoot, he has been doing this since your childhood

really bad at table tennis though😭 actually more clumsy than bad

basically your bodyguard when you two go out, especially if he notices someone from your school or work mocking you, he's just going to give them a dirty look so they stay away from you

yk how usually older siblings are allowed to go out and the younger ones have to stay at home? well that's not happening with him - you're always tagging along and he's going to make sure you have a good time (and that you're safe, obviously)

likes taking you out to get food! shows you the best place to get whatever you're craving

in general he's often going outside and likes showing you various cool places he finds

you two had a secret hideout as kids and he's still visiting it frequently even though both of you are a bit too big for that🥲

pillow fights‼️ he's always extra careful since he's really strong and doesn't want to hit you too hard

you know his bunny onesie? he'll get you a similar one

when you were younger he'd let you hang off his arm and he's still working out actively just so you can keep doing it

he's the type of person to stand in front of your bedroom door like 🕴 and wait for you to wake up just so you two could play videogames or do something together (it scares you every time but he still does it hes a menace)

camping and outside sleepovers enthusiast!! even if it's just your backyard or a treehouse he still tries to make it extra entertaining - although he's not a big fan of scary stories

william cares for you lots and wants the time you two spend together be fun and enjoyable :)