#my dads genes screwed me over a bit

[tables-has-vanished]

I dont have a single normal mutual do i.... Two are writers so ate automatically underrepresented members of society, one is a redditor another constantly plays rainworld and dont even get me started on my self.

Oh yeah im home alone *begins blasting bioengineering on loop*

[xoxoskai]

REMIARI (AND EVERY COULD'VE BEEN)

RemiAri's book would 100% be called Goddess of Chaos.

Unedited cuz your girl is lazy doesn't have time.

For Nyxie.

Ariella Nash first notices Remi Astor when he's bawling his eyes out.

Silver decided to swing by the Astor mansion with her girls to check on the youngest Astor after he dislocated his knee during a game.

With her mother preoccupied and her sister following the oldest King around, Ariella sits by the window, bored out of her mind.

"Baby Nash, pass me that"

Ariella slants a look at the only heir to the Astor Empire and suddenly pities her Aunt Teal a lot.

Her gaze finally catches the basketball lying near her feet that Remington is making grabby fingers (she thought he was too old to do something like that) towards.

"You're bedridden and have been advised to take intensive care. Two hairline fractures mean you shouldn't exert yourself anymore"

Of course, she doesn't say any of it to him as she picks the ball up and throws it without a care.

So, maybe she should have cared a bit. If the crunch sound was any indication.

He groans in frustration, hands slapping over the hurt and Ariella will feel guilty about it later when she finds out she slightly disfigured his nose but for now, she thinks it's not that bad until she hears him sniffle.

"Oh my God! Are you crying?"

Remington Astor hates that he's crying. In front of a 14 y/o no less.

"It's a natural reaction to getting hit in the face, kid"

He peeks through his hands and realizes she's moved a lot closer than he thought. Infact, she's standing right above him.

"Does it hurt a lot?"

"Of course it does! This is the nose of an aristocrat, and you might have broken it"

"My condolences"

The deadpan way in which she delivers her sarcasm has Remi speechless.

Eyebrows scrunched, bed hair and teary eyed, Ariella blinks at him before she leans closer.

"You're kinda pretty when you cry"

He frowns.

She smiles.

It cannot be a good sign.

And so, it begins. Ariella Nash's biggest obsession.

At first, she's just messing with him to see what kind of reactions she can get from him. A whole lot, she finds out.

Initially, Cole finds the prospect funny and helps his daughter in messing with the Astor. It's only until Silver has to spell it out for him that Ariella has a crush on him that even she hasn't recognized yet and suddenly the idea isn't as hilarious as it was.

"It'll go away" Silver tries to reassure him.

Checking the magazine in his gun, Cole shrugs "Or I can make him go away."

Remington is tired of having his friend's little sister show up everywhere and sabotaging his chances with other girls whenever he's home.

So, he stops announcing his visits home. He tries to visit his parents as discreetly as possible.

Only for Ariella to be at the dinner table, eyes twinkling, the image of complete innocence as she acts surprised.

"I was just visiting Uncle Ronan and Aunt Teal!" She tries telling him, following him up the stairs to his room after dinner.

Remi doesn't believe her. He's making plans to screw Ava over who probably rat him out for when he refused to spy on his cousin for her.

"Sure, you were"

"Either way, boy I'm glad I chose today cuz imagine I missed running into you"

She's waggling her eyebrows at him, and Remi stops in his tracks, turning to face the girl who was an entire foot shorter than him.

"Ariella. Out of respect for your parents, especially your dad who loves cleaning his guns whenever I come over, I'm going to tell you this for the last time" Pausing for effect, Remi continues when Ariella's playful smile drops "Whatever notion you have in your head about us, kill it. Find someone more appropriate for your age"

Chewing the inside of her cheek, her lips pulled into a sulky pout, Ariella asks "You don't want to hang out with me because I'm 14?"

"I knew they crossed over Ava, but you have smart genes after all" Lightly patting her head as a mockery, Remi moves to open the door to his room.

Leaving a frowning Ariella behind.

Remi doesn't see much of her after that.

Ariella never stops looking at him.

It's virtually impossible when he's so close. When their families are so close. When she sees him even if she does not want to.

Remi is relieved. Minus a follow from her on Instagram and a heart emoji on his pictures sometimes, Ariella keeps to herself. For the most part.

She would not harm any of his flings or dates. Not directly at least. And not for the lack of trying. Being underage meant she couldn't enter any of the clubs, but it didn't stop her from paying people to get stuff done.

Toying with belongings, keying their cars or spray painting them, nothing truly malicious or irreversible, just petty.

Remi figured she wouldn't directly harm him, so he made it a point to pick up all his dates in his car, hold their stuff for them and drop them home. Infact, he would've thanked Ariella for all the extra points it won him to do that.

Ariella retaliated by drawing a :p on the side mirror of his car with a sharpie after that.

But then, Remi misses her 18th birthday party.

Ariella leaves her own party to go sabotage whatever fun Remi was having.

She's undeterred at the chaos ensuing at his place, stomping around the place looking for him. When she can't find him, she goes up to the DJ, unplugs the music till Remi comes looking for the disturbance himself.

"Baby Nash, what the fuck?"

He's shirtless, his hair is disheveled and he's wearing shades indoors. He's never looked more perfect.

"I've waited four years for you, Remington Astor" Ariella tells him, the crowd silent as the words float over them to him "I refuse to wait any longer"

Cole and Ronan are both bothered. Ronan is worried for his son. Cole is worried what he might end up doing to Ronan's son.

Remi is truly thankful he's graduating. Unfortunately for him, Ariella chooses to go to university in the city.

Ariella might as well get an internship at King Enterprises for all the time she spends over there.

Remi might like his job, enjoy it even (he's great at delegating his own work) if a certain hellion didn't show up routinely just to "spend time with him".

Soon, her own workload takes over and Ariella's visits are shorter and briefer. So much so that if Remi times it well, he can skip bumping into her at all.

"She's in the States" Ava provides without him even asking "Some fancy mentorship program at NASA"

"She's a STEM student?"

"Yep. She's smarter than everyone sitting here on this table"

Landon says something in retaliation, but Remi has already tuned him out realizing he didn't really know the youngest Nash like he thought he did.

Ariella cannot believe her father signed her up for this and even though she loves the opportunity and being a scientist is her dream goal (apart from marrying Remi), she thinks she's facing withdrawals from not having seen Remi in so long.

"Oh relax" Her mentor rolls his eyes, flicking the test tube in her hand to gain her attention "Nothing is going to happen to him in six months"

"You don't know that"

"It's true. I don't" He shrugs "But what I do know is that your burner should've been turned off 30 seconds ago"

"Shoot!" Frantically taking the beaker off the stove, Ariella is running it under the water as she makes faces at her mentor.

Working with Jayden Adler is a chore Ariella reluctantly commits herself to because his brilliance was unmatched and even she was aware.

If him guessing she was lovesick ten minutes into meeting her was any indication.

"Miss me?" She asks Remi one fateful Tuesday afternoon that she flew in to surprise him when she couldn't take it anymore.

Remi shuts the door in her face.

"Oh c'mon!" She bangs at the door till he opens it "Really? You're not even going to ask me how I've been?"

Remi holds back what he really wants to say and leans against the door "Baby Nash, to ask I'd have to care"

"You do care" Remi holds his breath because for one second, he believes she read his mind "In that big heart of yours, you care about everyone"

"It would seem you don't know me as well as you thought"

"Wanna bet?"

Remi is actually terrified of losing that bet.

And so, divine intervention helps him.

When the girl he was entertaining before Ariella conveniently cockblocked them calls for him, it's like a switch flips and she immediately shuts down.

"Well then" She's taking a step back and instead of feeling relieved, he's slightly annoyed and then alarmed at his own reaction "I should go see my parents. I'll see you around"

Remi watches her go before shutting the door.

Ariella coming to see him before she went home...does things to him.

Things he does not want to delve into.

Next time he sees Ariella, she's flown in for Ava's wedding.

"Look. I love you, Ava. I really do. But you have to tell me if something's going on, okay? Dad's probably not even coming to the wedding, and this is all too rushed. If something's up, you said you'd always tell me"

"Ari, nothing's up. I love him and I'm marrying him"

"You look like it's your funeral, Ava. I don't know who you're trying to fool"

"Bitch. Did you just say the bride isn't looking radiant?"

Remi is about to announce himself after conveniently eavesdropping the entire time, but Ariella laughs and he stands arrested, listening for a moment longer before he snaps out of it.

"You look positively hideous" Remi provides and it's like a kick to the gut to see Ariella light up like the sun after a cloudy day.

"You, on the other hand-" She moves closer to him, and whispers "-look positively ravishing"

"That is positively inappropriate"

"So, you liked it then?"

Remi has to stop himself from smiling so he turns his attention to Ava, shouldering past Ariella to hug his friend.

Of course, Ava put him on groomsmen duties to walk her sister of all people down the aisle.

"Practice" Ariella mouths to him with a wink.

Remi is scared of turning his back to Cole but thankfully, Cole is more preoccupied with Ava at the moment to notice.

When he offers his arm to Ariella, she cannot stop smiling.

"Ours should be bigger" she tells him when he starts leading her down the aisle.

Remi, who knows in general that his wedding would be the biggest wedding of the century, hums along in agreement.

"I'm not sure my wife would want you to be her bridesmaid, Ari"

"Well, I'd expect not. Unless she wants a "Fiancé runs away with bridesmaid night before wedding" headline on her wedding day"

"You're awfully confident I'll run away with you"

"No" They reach the dais and she's letting his arm go so she can take her place "I'm just confident you'll be mine. Come hell or highwater"

Remi has to be pulled aside by Brandon from where he stood arrested in the middle of the dais after that.

Ariella is basically attached to him by the hip for the reception. So much so that he can smell her lemon and citrus shampoo hours later.

During a mandatory luncheon with all their parents at the Astors mansion, Ariella finds Remi shooting hoops in the backyard where his parents had a basketball court built for him.

"Five free-throws. If I win, you go on a date with me"

Remi, poised for a three-pointer almost missteps when he hears that before laughing.

"You're crazy"

"For you. But we've established that"

Remi makes the shot, misses and turns to see Ariella taking off her heels. Something about her knowing not to ruin the wooden flooring scrapes on the inside of his ribs. Remi doesn't want to find out what it is.

"C'mon" She makes grabby fingers at the ball he's holding, and he should find it ridiculous.

Standing in a blue halter dress that complimented her eyes, barefoot in his basketball court, hair flowing and an entire head shorter than him, he should've found the notion ridiculous. He doesn't.

"I'm not going on a date with you, Ariella"

"You were almost drafted into the NBA. And you're scared of losing to little ol' moi?"

The chances were looking really good for him. But he didn't put Ariella above dark forces and black magic.

"So?"

"What do I get if I win?" He's dribbling the ball around, Ariella turning in his direction as he moved about like he was the sun, and she was the earth revolving around him.

"What do you want?"

Remi opens his mouth, answer on the ready like he'd been waiting his entire life, but Ariella interrupts him "You can't make me leave you alone so asking for that is fruitless"

"There's nothing I gain from this, then" Remi gets into position to shoot a half-court shot.

"I would do anything for you"

Remi makes the shot.

"Have at it then" he tells her, trying to do anything to dissipate the charged tension they were pulled into because of her words.

How could she say things like that so casually to him?

It didn't matter. He would win and he'd ask her to comply with a restraining order or something if that's what it would take to keep her away.

And he needed her away. Desperately.

When Ariella takes position and on instinct Remi notices her perfect stance, he's scared he's made a mistake he cannot recover from.

It ends in a tie. 5-5.

"Couldn't you have made a mistake?" She's pouting as she puts on her heels.

"You could've told me you were preparing for the NBA yourself"

"I'm not on your level, yet. Jayden plays and we would go out and shoot sometimes during breaks"

"Who's Jayden?"

Ariella pauses buckling and looks up, grinning "Are you jealous? You don't have to be. He's my mentor"

"I'm not jealous. If you want to marry him, I'll even catch the bouquet at your wedding. You have my full blessings"

"He's cute but I'll pass" Remi almost dents the basketball from how hard his fingers are pressing into it "Blondes aren't my type" She rises to her full height, still only reaching his chin "Brunettes are"

"I, on the other hand, love blondes"

"I'll make an appointment at the salon before our date"

"Good God, Ariella. We're not going on a date"

"But I won."

"I won too."

"What do you want?"

Remi thinks it's crazy how fast the answer comes to him. An answer that couldn't be beaten out of him.

So, he does what he's best at. Deviation.

He hates that she pulls it off. When she enters the cafe, looking for him, Remi thinks he's an idiot that he didn't just make her go bald instead. Maybe that would stop him from finding her cute. Maybe he shouldn't have shown up. He blamed his own curiosity.

"So? Aren't I pulling it off? I nearly gave Mom a heart attack and Ava laughed for a solid hour, but you asked for it so here we are"

Remi fails to answer as Ariella puts her purse down, her bowl cut swaying a little as she sits down and faces him.

It's insanity. The little hellion stalker actually manages to pull it off.

And he thought she couldn't get cuter.

"It's perfectly disastrous" He can tell he hurt her with that as she quickly turns to call for the waiter. And because his parents raised him better than that, he's doing instant damage control "But you pull it off, yes"

Her face snaps back to him and when she notices he's being sincere, she smiles "My treat. What do you wanna eat?"

When they've placed their orders, Ariella reaches into her bag and procures a small box "I got something made for you, but I never got a chance to give it to you before"

She pushes it toward him, and Remi is almost scared to open the black velvet box.

"Relax, it's not an engagement ring"

"With you. I'd expect nothing less"

"You want to get engaged?" When Remi shoots her a glare, she smiles cheekily "I'll wait till you propose. Besides, I want the sapphire Great Aunt Charlotte wears"

"That's a family heirloom so chances of you getting that is...none"

"When I asked her for it, she said it's mine if I marry her grandson"

"So, you want to marry me for my heirlooms?"

"Yessir"

Remi tries to hold it in, he really does but he ends up laughing at her response and Ariella lights up like fireworks. He thinks she looks cute with her doe eyes twinkling.

He sobers up at the thought completely, Ariella's expression falling with his.

"Why won't you smile at me?" She asks.

And despite what his father taught him, Remi cannot let his heart break for her.

He opens the box. Inside lie two cufflinks, in the shape of a basketball but blue in color.

Remi shuts the box.

"Thanks" he says.

He doesn't take it.

He feels the walls closing in on him.

"This is stupid" He gets up suddenly, pulling his wallet out and slapping enough bills on the table to cover the cheque.

"Wait-" Ariella grabs the box that Remi left behind before following him out to his car in the parking lot.

"What happened? What did I do?" She's asking as she follows him, but Remi just walks faster, resisting the urge to run.

"Ariella. I don't want to do this with you. You're just forcing my hand. I don't see you that way" He whirls at her and she bumps into his chest.

"But why?" She recovers in record time, rubbing her nose, eyes troubled and brows drawn together.

"Because!" Remi can't say anything else because he's too busy noticing how big and blue Ariella Nash's eyes are. They aren't light-almost transparent. They are a deep, translucent blue. Like the sea being viewed from under water.

"You said you didn't want to spend time with me before because I was 14. Now, I'm not!"

"You're still a child"

"I'm almost 21!"

"And I'm 27, Ariella. There are other things more worthwhile you can do with your time instead of following a guy around. Especially one that's not interested in you. It's unbecoming"

She looks like he slapped her. With what he said, he might as well have.

Her entire demeanor shuts down. She slams the box she's still holding atop his car roof.

"I'm a Nash" She tells him "And I won't beg"

She leaves him standing in the parking lot as she gets into her car and leaves.

She also leaves him alone after that.

So much so that Remi starts getting jittery.

If there was something Ronan always taught him, it's to never treat a lady with disrespect.

Remi tries justifying it as Ariella forcing his hand. It doesn't work.

He reminds himself ten thousand times that she's too young for him.

He reminds himself that Cole nearly drowned Eli when Ava asked to marry him.

He reminds himself he can have anyone he wants.

It. Does. Not. Work.

"thisisstupidthisisstupidthisisstupidthisisstupidthisisstupid" He's muttering to himself as he waits for Ariella outside her university gates.

At first, he almost misses Ariella because she's cut her hair even shorter and into a bob that reaches her chin with forehead bangs.

But he almost misses her because she's talking to a guy who could be her professor but they're laughing together, and Remi has to cross his arms to avoid doing something crazy like throwing something at the guy.

She's wildly gesturing with her arms, her face animated and Remi feels his ribs tighten uncomfortably in his chest. Looking at her hurts.

Rejecting her hurts.

He's watching as they both throw their heads back and laugh and Remi is tapping the roof of his car, walking to and fro wondering what could be that funny.

Ariella pauses what she's saying suddenly and reaches into her bag and procures a pen that she looks like she's returning to him. The guy takes it, and Remi thinks they're done talking.

Until he flicks Ariella's nose.

"Ariella!"

Ariella turns to him, her expression blanking before she says something else to the guy and they part ways.

She makes her way toward him looking like she would rather be anywhere but near him. The change is not lost on him.

"I thought you said blondes weren't your type"

"Why are you here, Remi?"

"I'm sorry about what I said the other day"

Remi never thought himself above apologizing. He had always been an advocate for clearing every kind of misunderstanding and hurt caused.

"Cool"

Remi is left standing there as Ariella leaves. Once again.

"That's it?" He calls after her and she pauses, taking her sweet time before turning around.

And Remi notices what a lucky bastard he'd been in the past to never have been subjected to Ariella Nash's blank stare that looked straight through him.

"Was there more?"

He doesn't see her after that.

Not at parties where she'd always be lurking around. Not at their regular family luncheons. Or when he specifically went to visit his Aunt Silver.

"She was just upstairs" Silver frowns "She must've gone out"

Or she was avoiding him.

It irked Remi.

And he couldn't, for the life of him, determine why.

This was exactly what he'd wanted since Ariella had first started following him around but now that she'd stopped, he actually missed her?

He found the notion laughable.

Remi decides to celebrate by going out on a cruise with people he knew, to celebrate.

He takes a flight home in three days. She's upended his life and he cannot believe he misses his stalker.

So, he texts her. He would apologize properly so she did not leave him feeling so shitty in the aftermath.

We need to talk.

The infuriating hellion leaves him on read.

Remi shows up at her university to catch her off-guard, but she changes directions and leaves at record speed when she sees him.

So, Remi takes drastic measures. He is a firm believer of -when they go low, you go lower.

Ariella bursts into his office in record time and he is so relieved to see her that it almost- almost supersedes his annoyance.

"You said what to Professor Adler?"

"Hi" He crosses his arms on his desk "Long time no see"

"Don't fuck with me, Remi. I cannot believe you'd say that to Jayden!"

Remi finally stands up, buttoning his suit jacket and moving around his desk to reach a fuming Ariella, trying to suppress his irritation that it would take saying something to her professor now to get her to acknowledge him.

"What did I say to him?"

Ariella was gritting her teeth and Remi found he quite enjoyed this look on her. She was a fierce little thing; he would be insane to not be attracted.

"An allegation that he fraternizes with his students. Really?"

"That's such a shameful thing to do"

"It's not true!"

"How do you know?"

"Because I know him! If you threaten him ever again, Remington, I will make your life hell"

Lowering himself to her face-level, Remi smiles menacingly at her "Been there, going through it. Try me, Ariella"

Ariella wants to hurl something at his face and really make it hurt this time. She resists "You don't get to act like a jilted lover after you rejected me. Threaten him again and I'll kill you" Moving away, she turns to leave.

"I thought blondes weren't your type?" He asks, blocking her path.

And because Ariella was raised by Cole and pettiness ran in their blood, she says "Brunettes aren't doing it for me anymore"

"Is that so?"

"Remi, let me go"

Even he doesn't realize when exactly he's trapped her between him and the desk but a meteor hitting the earth couldn't make him move away.

"It takes me threatening your professor to get you to acknowledge my existence again?"

"Didn't you want me to stay away from you? If I recall correctly, you said it's 'unbecoming'"

"I didn't mean it"

"Really? I apologize, Your Lordship, this peasant failed to understand that "Following a guy around that's not interested in you is unbecoming" didn't mean "get lost"" She's rolling her eyes and Remi steps closer, if that was even possible, the fronts of their bodies flushed together.

"Did you also fail to comprehend what "You'll be mine, come hell or highwater" means?"

Ariella's breath hitches.

"It means I'm yours. And that, Ariella Nash, makes you mine."

He closes the distance between them.

xxx

It wasn't supposed to be this long! Part two (soonish) cuz ...duh.

[s0uth3park]

Random SP headcanons pt2

Pt 1

Tweek tried to, but ultimately will never, learn how to drive with heavy advice from his loved ones (Craig). It’s too stressful. It’s dangerous because of his anxiety and tics for others and himself. No driving for Tweek. Please.

Cartman doesn’t make fun of Craig for being “half ginger” because he’s a little scared of him… kind of.

Speaking of, Cartman showed Craig his own wiener (as per TxC) of his own volition.

Fat fucking crush on Kyle btw.

If Stan hates that he looks like his dad then he hates that Kyle looks like his mom btw. Because… alcoholic x radical canadaphobe?? Fuck knows.

Stan shakes on weed (no projection here). He can’t feel it though.

Speaking of, Tweek can’t feel his own shaking.

Cartman wishes that Kenny would act how he would / seeks Kenny’s validation, hence his criticism of Kenny of the most menial of things (ie. holding a candle in Put It Down).

If there was money for it, Karen would own a lot of stuffed animals.

Kevin and Karen do not carry the gene for red hair. Or blond/blonde hair.

Cartman loves his fucking grandma. (No projection I swear)

Jimbo holds some affection for Liane but is just a gay old fuck. Jimned 4eva

Did I mention in my last post I think, despite Mrs Valmer’s canon design, that Mrs Tweak has the biggest tits? I’m saying it again if so

SHE AND RICHARD SCREW SO BAD I KNOW I SAID BUT PLEASE UNDERSTAND–

I know I said last post that I didn’t know how Tweek and Butters would be cousins but now I’ve decided… people can think differently because anything goes but for me it’s through both fathers. Tweak Bros. originates from Mrs. Tweak’s father and to earn the right to marry her he had to win him over and show his dedication to the profession

Richard and Stephen got grounded a LOT

Linda and Sheila’s hair always smells incredible (so much product)

Sheila is the type of grandma to give out stale sweeties

The Marsh name ends with Stanley. The bloodline ends with both him and Shelley

Heidi is the mother of Kyle’s kids (coping)

Cartman only became homeless after his mother died

He never worked ever (garageman future aside)

Clyde got vaccinated guys we can all rest now (the bad future self came back to tell him to never do it but once the good future is put into play he gets vaccinated because there was no bad future to come back to tell him)

Clyde is very girldad coded, soz

Bebe’s dad is a bit younger than her mom (he is the ultimate girldad… Mr. Stevens I wish I knew your name)

Clyde gets more insecure about his weight / appearance as he gets older. For now he is young however so let him live (his pudge is the pudge ever and he is sonboy if not a carnal dream and a half… latter only in pcov ofc)

Mr. Stevens helps Bebe with her homework a fuckton (particularly maths)

Butters bites his nails

Butters (after growing up) loves strong women. Look at his Pcov design and tell me he doesn’t want / have / respect a buff wife.

If Butters wasn’t grounded as much as a kid he wouldn’t have a fear of expectations as much as he does, meaning he would have probably gotten a better job than working in Dennybees or whatever it was called. Bro could have been a multi billionaire girlboss

I just want someone to hear this it’s not really a headcanon but BHLK Queen Thistle? LINDA STOTCH? Same character different nationalities istg

Kyle plays chaperone a fair bit to the guys

Kyle, Tolkien and Craig are the most sensible drivers out of All The Boys (Tolkien behind Craig and Kyle if I’m being honest)

Kenny and Bebe (Bebe isn’t a boy but YKWIM) are the fucking fastest / most reckless

Clyde and Stan are sort of not great but not bad drivers

Jimmy is rather close to Tolkien in terms of driving skill yk

Butters, Cartman, Tweek don’t drive – Cartman out of laziness / expectation of chaperones, and Butters and Tweek out of stress… Tweek tried to learn though

Craig in later years drives Tweek everywhere

Tweek and Cartman have experienced heart attacks (in later years) but for different reasons to the other. Clyde has come very close. So has Craig, though not as close.

Tweek dies before Craig.

Stan dies before Kyle.

Butters dies before Kenny (ironically).

Craig visits Tweek’s grave with flowers every week??

Craig, as an old man, wears a lot of fucking cardigans. Grandpa shirts too (the things without the collars).

Tweek and Craig have matching anythings. Typically slippers.

Bebe is very handsy and sometimes possessive. Clyde thinks it’s “sweet”. (The dudebro sweet not the romantic sweet through the possessiveness originates from romanticism).

In Pcov Clyde is a delivery man, actually

Out of all the couples, it would always be Clybe to cause the most hickeys

Bebe has a flatter ass than brilliant boobs (opposite for Wendy, though Wendy isn’t flat chested)

Nichole bleaches her skin in the future (it’s sad but look at her design. Out of everything else it’s the most unrecognisable and it’s awful) (ETA: when I say awful I’m talking about why most people bleach their skin and how it can affect one’s health – people can do as they please but ultimately skin bleaching isn’t a… great??? thing, socially and health-wise)

Nichole loves 60s/70s paraphernalia and fashion (the ultimate flower power child)

Wendy and Cartman fuck at least once in their lifetimes. They take it to the grave, but because of this Cartman doesn’t die a fucking virgin

That sounds so damn harsh wth but it’s true (I think Cartman doesn’t really have any labels moreso is just attached to certain people when it’s not just himself *cough cough* Kyle and Wendy *cough cough*)

Jimmy can see perfectly fine out of both eyes until he reaches teenhood

Jimmy has two brown haired alleles

Cartman doesn’t make fun of Kenny or Craig for having a ginger / red haired parent because he thinks they’re pretty cool. He lowkey ships them / wants to be them.

Cartman has the gene for ginger hair.

[mads-nixon]

Hey Mads,

I saw your requests are open. Could i please request a Dating Eugene Roe headcanon? Thank you 💕

Dating Eugene Roe Headcannons

Eugene Roe x Reader

Masterlist

A/N: My first ever BoB fic was about Gene, so he holds a special place in my heart. Thanks for requesting! I loved writing these!! this is about the fictional portrayal of easy company on the show. nothing but love and respect for veterans on this blog!

So you and Gene meet in Aldbourne when Easy first gets moved there in September of 43' (you meet in october).

You're sitting in a coffee shop reading in the corner, and he thinks you're easily the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.

Being a shy guy, Gene doesn't say anything to you the first time he sees you. He just subtly glances at you from his spot across the shop.

Turns out, he isn't as subtle as he thinks and you totally notice the staring but don't mind it because you think he's very handsome.

You come into the shop every saturday morning, and every Saturday morning, he's there as well. After a few weeks of sneaking glances, you decided enough was enough.

You walk over and introduce yourself to him, and BOY does he go red when you say that you've noticed him.

Despite the awkwardness of the beggining of the conversation, things fall into a steady rhythm, and you find yourself enjoying his company.

Gene's very soft-spoken and respectful (the BEST listener in the whole company if you ask me)

You get to know each other a little bit, and when you have to leave, you write down your address on a table napkin with a grin, telling him you're free the next day at 6.

The next day, he shows up to your house at 5:55 with a bouquet of roses, wearing his dress uniform. He offers you his arm, and the two of you are off to Swindon for the night.

It ended with a sweet kiss under the stars at your porch (there was no light on because of the black-out being in effect)

from there, it was history, and you soon fell for the cajun medic, and he fell just as hard for you.

Whenever he gets weekend passes, the two of you go for day trips to Swindon or London, strolling down the streets softly talking.

In London, you take him to Crystal Palace Park, where you lay out a soft blanket and have a cozy picnic. Your head lays on his lap, and he gently runs his hands through your hair as he talks about his family back home.

You LOVE hearing the different stories of his grandmother and her healing abilities. It only makes sense that Gene would become a medic to help people, following in her footsteps.

As his training continued and the concern of Sobel leading the company grew, Gene began to bottle up his anxieties and distance himself from you slightly.

I feel like Gene is the type of guy who wouldn't want to tell you his problems because he doesn't want to add to your plate, so he suffers in silence.

You confront him about it and he sighs before telling you everything about Sobel and how incompetent he is. (you hate him with a burning passion...possibly more than Eugene does, but it's close.)

Sunday dinner with your family becomes a weekly thing as time drags on. Your dad was hesitant to bring an American into your house, but he likes Gene more than he ever would have thought.

I'd like to think that Eugene buys you small trinkets that reminds him of you (idk where this came from but it's in my mind now)

OKAY...JEALOUS GENE IS HOT, MAN

we all know he can get fired up (after moose get's shot, he rips Dick and Harry a new one), but what gets him really fired up is when he's jealous

Some nights when you're out at a pub, men will make passes at you despite him sitting right there...boy it grinds his gears.

I have a feeling he would just sit there silent because if he opens his mouth, he knows he wouldn't be able to control himself (imagine his *angry* look after Sobel screws up the training mission in curahee) .

You notice and reach out for his hand over the table, trying to calm him down. "I'm going to get us some drinks," you squeeze his hand before getting up.

Gene's eyes follow you as you waltz across the room, and he takes a deep breath.

His gaze falls to the table for a moment, and when he turns back to you, he sees red. There's a British soldier at the bar who's all up in your personal space and is getting closer every second. Eugene can see the discomfort all over your face.

He shoots up from the table and quickly makes his way over to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you behind him as he faces the guy.

"Do we have a problem here?" He asks, looking down at the man with fire in his gaze.

The Brit cowers instantly, taking his drink off the table before walking away. "No, sir."

Even through the man was super annoying, seeing Gene like that is incredibly hot, and you turn him around and kiss him.

He calms down pretty quickly after that.

Whenever they have to leave for Upottery, you share a sweet goodbye filled with tears (a lot from you and a few from Gene), and promises of writing.

You keep in contact through letter for the whole duration of the war, and the second he can leave after it's over, he comes straight to Aldbourne and asks you to marry him.

Tag List: @liptonsbabe @footprintsinthesxnd @bucky32557038ww2 @flowers-and-fichte @merriell-allesandro-shelton

message or comment if you want to be added to the tag list!

[ordinaryschmuck]

At Jimmy Pesto’s Pizzeria, Trev puts up a “Closed Indefinitely “ sign up on the window. He then runs away crying.

Across the street, Linda and Teddy are watching the whole thing from inside the restaurant.

Linda: I can’t believe Jimmy Pesto got arrested. Serves the bastard right for helping organize that raid against the mayor’s office. Who hates the mayor? He’s great. Those bunch of freaks, hating the mayor.

Teddy looks to the kitchen window, hearing Bob whistle as he grills.

Teddy: Eh, I bet you’re happy, Bobby! With there being no more Jimmy Pesto and all.

Linda: Oh, don’t even get this guy started. They arrested Jimmy right across from us last night and I haven’t seen Bob happier since the kids were born.

Bob: Oh, come on, Lynn. I like to think that I had a quiet dignity to it.

Linda: You kidding? You and the kids went friggin nuts.

Flashback to last night. Jimmy is being led to a police car just as Bob sticks his head out of his home window.

Bob: Hey, Jimmy! How’s it feel knowing YOU will be out of business first?!

Jimmy just grunts, not acknowledging Bob.

Bob: What’s wrong?! No ZOOM?! Oh, that’s right! You’re too busy ZOOMING yourself to jail!

Louise pushes Bob out of the way.

Louise: Dad, please. Let a pro handle this.

She sticks her head out the window too.

Louise: Hey, Jimmy! If you’re lucky, you’ll be made the cafeteria cook! Your cooking should taste about the same as prison food!

Bob: Haha! THAT’S my little girl!

He scoops Louise up and kisses her cheek. She pretends to hate it.

Bob: I am so PROUD of you! You’re getting ice cream tonight!

Louise: Yes!

Gene: I want ice cream too!

He comes up to the window too.

Gene: Hey, Jimmy! Just a reminder that you got to poop in your jail cell! So get ready for people to see your Italian sausage!

Bob: Yes! Gene! I mean, DON’T ever say that again, but YEAH! You get ice cream too, pal!

Gene: Yeah!

Tina comes up to the window now.

Tina: Hey, Jimmy Pesto…You’re the worst!

Bob: Ha! He IS the worst!

Louise: And you’re a terrible father!

Gene: And LOVER! I assume!

Bob: Gene.

Tina: The best thing you made was Jimmy Jr!

Louise: And that’s not saying much!

Tina: Wait, what?

Bob: Oh, my god, I love my kids! You ALL get ice cream!

The kids: Yay!

Gene: Italian sausage!

Bob: Gene!

Flash forward back to the restaurant.

Bob: Okay, so I might have lost a bit more of my mind than I thought. But who cares? Lynn, it’s Jimmy Pesto! He’s gone for good! The nightmare’s over and we’ve WON!

Linda: Wha? What did we win?

Bob: We won at LIFE!

Linda: Oh, yeah.

Bob: WE’RE the ones with a successful—Well, GOOD business, a happy marriage, and great kids! Meanwhile, JIMMY is sitting his stupid butt in jail, his business is going to drizzle out of business—

Teddy, trying to match Bob’s energy: And his kids are going to be super traumatized!

Bob: What?

Linda: Oh god.

Teddy: Haha! Like, first their parents got divorced, which is a, uh, a thing that scares kids!

Bob: Teddy.

Teddy: And now their dad’s in jail! Never to see him in a normal environment again!

Linda: Aw…

Bob: Teddy, you just—

Teddy: What?

Bob: You’ve ruined the mood.

Teddy: What? No, I didn’t.

Bob: You did.

Linda: Yeah, you did, Hon.

Teddy: I was following your energy!

Bob: That wasn’t the energy.

Teddy: I was following your energy, Bob!

Bob: Celebrating traumatized kids isn’t the energy, Teddy!

Teddy: Bah!

Bob: YOU bah!

Linda: You DO gotta feel a LITTLE bad for the Pesto kids.

Bob: Well, yes, obviously. Because unlike TEDDY—

Teddy: YOUR energy, Bob.

Bob: I DON’T want kids to be traumatized. It’s not their fault that they’re Jimmy’s kids. But for Jimmy himself? SCREW him! It’s the end of an era! The JIMMY era! Now, it’s the start of the BOB era! And it starts with THIS!

He then runs outside.

Bob: Hey, everybody! In celebration of the greatest thing, EVER, Bob’s Burgers is now fifteen percent off of EVERYTHING!

Random Passerby: What’s Bob’s Burgers?

Bob: It’s—My restaurant. It’s right behind me!

Random Passerby: Oh, the across from Jimmy Pesto’s. Hey, do you know when HIS restaurant will open again?

Bob: Oh, my GOD!

[whyisthereacentaur]

Modern Monsters 7: Frankenstein’s Monster

Another inspired by @purrlockholmesbooks’s request!

Real life got VERY busy this week, plus my mind just kept spawning lore for this guy and his creator, so when I sat down to write it, the ideas were getting in each other’s way like the Three Stooges in a doorway. Then I sat down to put it all in order for a post last night and fell asleep. Sorry >_<

Onwards!

Having existed for over 200 years, and the vast majority of that with a much less vocal conscience than he first started out with, Victor (last name dependent on which alias he was using at the time) created more than one monster.

After his original Creature resurrected Victor Frankenstein, only to effectively say, “Dad, I’m sorry about all of that, but seriously - never contact me again,” the doctor was left alone and lonely. He argued with himself about the ethical implications of what he might be putting any new creation through, as well as what he might unleash upon the world with its birth, as his knowledge and technological capabilities had only grown since then.

That only lasted about ten minutes before he moved on and started on his next project anyway.

All told, over the years, Victor’s built quite a dynasty. Literally. He never remembers exactly how many children he has, even though each one from the second onwards lived with him for at least a few years before striking out on their own. Their cohabitation was necessary for him to collect data on the relative success of each experiment, requiring lots of physical and mental testing and direct, extensive comparison of each against their siblings, which he would usually record by dictation in his test subject’s presence.

Victor is never sure why his children don’t seem to want to speak to him much.

The only one currently in very regular contact is the youngest, who Victor sacrificed some of his own tissue to build. Egotist that Victor is, this one is his very best attempt at a superhuman (so far) - a bit of cloning, a dash of modern prosthetics principles, a lot of gene manipulation, and a solid base of Victor’s own techniques have created a passably human creature with some hidden talents.

Victor’s parenting, if it can be called that, has created a passably functioning young adult with severe anxiety, people-pleasing tendencies, and self-worth issues. All the stress does make a person a bit scatty - he’d forget his head if it wasn’t screwed on, so he tries not to switch that particular body part around too often.

He does share his father’s love of knowledge for its own sake, and so has spent several years in his chosen university. He has changed his mind on what, exactly, he should focus his research on almost as often as he has switched up his detachable body parts. And he’s done that often, since Victor sent him off with a variety to choose from. University and the internet have allowed him to gather a circle of like-minded close friends, who would all tell you he is such a sweetheart; the type to give you the shirt off his back, or a kidney, if he thought you had the slightest need. He hasn’t mentioned his ability to regenerate entire organs to them just yet, though.

He donates at the same university hospital his dad works at, since his dad’s dedicated shifty-business team can be trusted to keep his real medical records under wraps and his real name off any “posthumous” donations.

His dad liked the idea of naming at least one of his children Frankie Stone, what with the Frankenstein name being impossible to use openly and the bloodline being otherwise dead. However, university is a time to reinvent oneself, and our student prefers to go by his middle name now.

He’s just always liked the sound of Shelley as a nickname.

~~~

Organ donor cards, understandably, don’t usually have loyalty stamps. One of the nicer shifty-business nurses presented Shelley with the Frankensteinian organ donor register/cafe loyalty scheme card monstrosity pictured here.

It could just be a bad photo, but I do like the bit of trivia that the monster in the book actually had yellowed skin rather than the green we now think of as traditional, so if you feel like Shelley has a bit of a sallow tint, I leave it to you to decide.

This was a “simple” illustration that took forEVERRRRR to sort out. I’m still figuring out half the tools on this app. Just pretend he takes really good care of this card since I didn’t have the energy left to make it look appropriately weathered.

~~~

If you read this far: thank you and hope you enjoyed it! I have one more instalment planned featuring Shelley and his dad, which will hopefully go up sometime in the next few days.

Oíche Shamhna shona daiobh!

Happy Halloween!

~~~

Modern Monsters series

Modern Monsters 1: Dullahan

Modern Monsters 2: Kelpie

Modern Monsters 3: Kuchisake-onna

Modern Monsters 4: Cuca

Modern Monsters 5: Vampire

Modern Monsters 6: Dr Frankenstein

Modern Monsters 7: Frankenstein’s Monster

Modern Monsters bonus: Frankenstein, Monster

[celestialterran]

"He wanted to kill her, not me. I was the only thing he wanted and only to use me for the powers I had from his genetics. I don't know if he did it to all the women he slept with or just my mother but..." Peter made a disgusted face remembering the way he dad talked about her.

He hated to admit it but the way he talked about Merideth, his mother, he believed that Ego did see her as special. If his mother was the only one out of all the children Ego had that was born from a woman he actually loved, he wondered if that was some connection to why he had the celestial genes.

He knew genetic anomalies happened and maybe the celestial genes were extremely recessive but to not show up in hundreds or thousands of children seemed a bit *too* rare. Not that he was some sort of biologist who understood how anything with genetics, let alone celestial genetics really worked. Maybe it was rare because if it wasn't then celestials could just overpopulate the universe...? From the little information he learned on his celestial heritage he still had very little to go off of.

"Yeah he was pretty screwed up... but like, in a psychopath way, but Yondu raised me, so in ways he was more like my dad than Ego ever was.... and he wasn't so bad."

In truth Peter just didn't want to leave the topic on such a sad note, it WAS sad, it wasn't like he could deny it, and it had been something that he still even then was trying to make sense of. Moving on from all that he still hadn't really put it all to bed.

Noticing Tony pull his had away it was just then Peter realized their excuse to hold hands didn't really hold up in the empty space of the docks. There was no real reason they'd get separated, since there wasn't any crowds or anything. They were close to the ship and would soon need their hands free anyway.

"I have more than 300 songs, just not on the Zune," Peter said. "Most of my music is on tapes, which yeah, I know it's old tech now. I just didn't know that until a few years ago. I don't have a lot though."

Even after he got the Zune from Kraglin, Peter still assumed walkmans were what people primarily used.

"My mom use to make me mix tapes with this stereo she had that had two tapedecks. Had a bunch of them in my bag when I left Earth... well... I have six tapes, in all."

He was just thinking about how he use to have more, but just having a few tapes was better than nothing. "I did find a couple more over the years in space though. Earth stuff shows up sometimes in junker shops, and well... I tend to grab it when I can."

As they got to the Bowie, Peter released the catwalk so they could go get their things from the ship, and started up towards the cargo hold so he could help Tony get whatever he needed.

Peter was either being himself, or making the effort to help Tony get acclimated to everything. Regardless, Tony quietly murmured his thanks and gave a subtle nod. Maybe his nerves would calm down after a week or two.

When they entered the hanger he let Peter keep a hold of his hand and found the added comforting touch relaxed him even if it was just a minute amount. He was feeling less tense when Peter began to tell the horrendous tale about his mother. It was shocking enough to make Tony let go of Peter's hand.

"I'm sorry. Did you say your dad gave your mom cancer on purpose? Just to try and kill you?" Tony asked ignoring, the question about the Zune. He stared at Peter in disbelief for a few seconds before snaping back into the moment with a quick head jerk. "I'm sorry. Jesus, Pete. I had no idea."

Tony bit his lip and felt bad for dredging up Peter's past trauma. Even though Peter could have just as easily kept it vague or simply chose to keep quiet about it all. "I know you called my dad an asshole, and he was. But... that's." Tony took a moment to truly imagine what it all must have been like for Peter. "That's a whole other level of screwed up in the head."

Tony gently gave Peter a pat on the shoulder and smiled softly. "Well what matters is, he's gone and you still have your friends. I get why that little thing is so important to you. But uhh. We have these things on Earth called IPods now. They come in different storage capacities. The two fifty-six model holds up to eighty-three thousand songs, takes pictures, plays videos, and can play music continuously for about forty hours on a single charge. But hey." Tony added in a non judgmental tone. "Three hundred is fine. If that's as many songs as you have."

[quicksilverownsmysoul]

Soft Pretzel

A request by @ittoehurt in which the reader has been feeling sick lately and finds out they are pregnant with Peter’s kid. But she isn't sure if he would even want to have a kid with her. I put my own little twist on it, I hope you enjoy it!

Warnings: None really, mostly pure fluff, a little angst

Word count: 1780

You were currently huddled over a toilet throwing your soft pretzel up. Jubilee was with you holding your hair back. “I’m so sorry Jubilee.” You choked out in between your sickness. You laid your head against the toilet bowl, much to her protests. 

“No honey it’s okay.” She reassured you by moving your head from the public toilet to lay on her shoulder. You wrapped your arms around your stomach as if willing it to keep down your food. 

“You can leave me here, go have fun with Kurt and the gang.” You smiled weakly and she just softly shook her head at you.  You guys were supposed to be having a fun day at the carnival,  when you suddenly felt sick and rushed off to the bathroom. Peter had wanted to go with you but Jubilee insisted that he couldn't just go into a woman’ bathroom like that. 

“I am not leaving you here. You know that.” She brushed your hair away from your face. “I told you not to eat that carnival food, it always makes me sick.” She wrinkled her nose at the thought of even eating anything at the pop up carnival. Especially when she  saw the buckets of grease that everything was marinating in. Peter had eaten something from every stand as you guys had walked around together and he was in no mindset to stop soon. But for once he felt his appetite disappear as he waited for you outside of the bathroom. His foot anxiously tapping against the pavement. 

Truth be told you knew it wasn’t the pretzel was what had made you so sick. You had woken up on many occasions recently hurling into a toilet, you were always careful to never wake Peter up when you slipped out of bed to spill your guts. It had been a while since your last period as well. Your suspicions were confirmed when you took a pregnancy test a couple days ago. You had driven to the store to buy one after your morning classes. Peter wasn't home in your shared apartment when you took it, and when you saw those two lines appear you knew you were screwed. You had sat in the bathroom for god knows how long crying a mix of tears.

You and Peter had been together for a while now. You had met him in high school in your science class, he was your lab partner. He cracked some dumb chemistry joke and you fell in love with him right then and there. You guys started dating and at homecoming he admitted that he was a mutant, he had been so nervous on how you would react. He loved you so much and he hated the idea of ruining it because he was different. But you could care less, you told him that it didn't change the way you felt about him and when you said you thought his superspeed was really cool he was whipped. You guys had been together a couple years now, you had even taken the next step and moved in together, not wanting to spend the rest of your days making out in his mom’s basement. He had become a member of the x-men and you took classes at the local university. Everything seemed so perfect. And now there was a chance of ruining it all. You and Peter were in your early 20’s you two hadn’t even talked about having children, heck you hadn't even thought about it yourself. You didn't even know if he would want a kid with you, he was so young and this was both of yours first relationship. You felt as if you were going to tie him down to something he never even wanted. 

You bit your lip debating on telling Jubilee what had been bugging you for the past few weeks. She saw your brow furrowed and turned to face you. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling sick again.” She got up to leave. “I’ll go get you some water.” You grabbed her hand before she could leave. 

“The pretzel isn't what made me sick.” You admitted quietly, curling into yourself even more. She silently urged you to go on, sitting back down and taking your hands in hers. 

“I’m pregnant,” You admitted, staring at your lap, not wanting to meet her eyes, in fear that you would see disappointment in them. 

The bathroom was eerily quiet until Jubilee let out a happy squeal and tackled you in a hug. You nearly fell over onto the floor. 

“Omg (y/n)!!! You and Peter are going to have a kid together!! They’re going to be so cute! Especially if they look like you, I don’t know how they’ll look if they get Peter’s genes.” She rambled happily. You let out a little laugh at her excitement, but your heart was still heavy. 

She calmed herself down and her tone turned serious. “Have you told Peter yet?’

You fiddled with your hands. “No I haven’t.”

“How come?’ It wasn’t a judgmental question that Jubilee asked and you could sense the question was more for your benefit than for his. 

“I just don't know he would even want a kid with me. We’re both so young and I don’t want to trap him into a relationship he never wanted.” You admitted, tears threatening to form.

“Oh Honey.” Jubilee pulled you into a tight hug. “Peter loves you so much, I just know he would want a kid with you. It might be a shock but he’s talked about spending his life with you.”

“Really?” 

“Yes really, that boy is so whipped for you it’s so funny.” She joked as she pulled away. She wiped your tears away gently and helped you off the floor. “You should tell him though, it's only fair.” You nodded your head in agreement and you excited the stall together. 

“Can you give me a minute to fix myself? I look like a mess.” You laughed. 

“Sure.” Jubilee left you alone to tidy yourself in the mirror. The minute she stepped out of the bathroom Peter bombarded her with questions.

“How is she? Is she okay? Does she wanna go home?” 

“Chill out she’s fine.” Jubilee replied, trying her best to hide her smile. She turned to Kurt and the rest of the gang. “Let’s go get a spot to watch the fireworks, (y/n) and Peter will catch up later.” 

They left Peter to his thoughts and he began to wonder why she wanted to leave you two all alone. The longer he sat there the more his thoughts drifted to negative ones. You came out a couple minutes later and Peter was immediately by your side. “Hey I missed you, are you okay?” You smiled at him nervously and took his hand in yours. “We need to talk.” Peter felt his heart stop at those words, but squeezed your hand in response. 

You led him over to an empty bench that was at some distance from the rest of the crowd. “Peter I-”

Before you could even continue Peter interrupted you. “Are you breaking up with me?” He asked in a small voice. 

“What no.” You cupped his face with both your hands. “No, nothing like that I could never break up with you. I love you too much.” You kissed him softly and he returned it. You pulled away running your thumb absentmindedly across his cheek. He moved his hand to cup yours. 

“What is it then?” You felt your heart pounding in your chest, drowning out all the noise around you. 

You wet your lips before meeting his gaze. “I’m pregnant Peter.” You were met with silence and immediately you took it as a rejection and started to ramble. “It’s yours but don't worry I’m not asking for anything and if you don’t want to have the kid I can raise them on my own. I can go back with my parents and I-”

“You're pregnant?” Peter repeated softly a smile starting to form on his lips. “I’m going to be a dad.” You nodded your head silently. “I’m going to be a dad!” He screamed lunging towards you and picking you up. He spun you around in circles, his head buried in the crook of your neck. 

“Peter!” You squealed. He gently set you back down and held your face in his hands. 

“You’re not mad?”

“Mad? (y/n) I couldn't be happier!” Your face broke out in a smile. “I love you so much, we’re going to be amazing parents!” He took you back in his arms, holding you tight and pressing kisses to the top of your head. You felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off of your shoulder. “We have to tell the gang!”

Peter wanted to get there as fast as possible but settled for walking when he realized that the sudden speed might upset your stomach. “Peter I’m not that delicate.” You protested. 

“Not taking any chances babe! You’re carrying very precious cargo!” He rubbed your stomach slightly as if there was a bump there already. You let out a light laugh and he pulled you even closer. When you met up with the rest of the gang the fireworks had already started. Peter scared everybody by shouting at the top of his lunges that he was going to be a dad. He slapped Scott on the back with a hearty laugh nearly knocking his sunglasses off.

 “Watch it, Maximoff.” Jean stifled a laugh next to him. “Good luck spending the rest of your life with that idiot.”

You laughed and and Peter whined. “Babeeee.” 

Jubilee pulled you into a side hug, watching as Peter told random strangers that he was going to be a Dad, they just awkwardly congratulated him and he smiled proudly. “I see he took the news well.” 

“What!” Peter exclaimed as he sped back to your side. “You told Jubilee before me!” He proclaimed with mock hurt. You just rolled our eyes and nudged him playfully. 

“Yeah cause she likes me better!” Jubilee joked pulling you closer to her. 

Peter yanked you back to his side. “Not in a million years Lee.” He kissed the top of your head. You guys settled onto the grass with the rest of the group, you leaned back into Peter’s chest. He rested his head in the cook of your neck inhaling your scent. “Thank you.” He whispered.

You closed your eyes at his soft touch. “For what?”

You felt him smile and hug you closer, hands resting gently on your stomach. “For giving me everything I could have ever wanted.”

[spxllcxstxr]

Sirius Black as a Dad • Headcanon

(Gif not mine)

Warnings: Babies, children, the marauders being parents

Request: Sirius Black HC where he's like raising his baby? just really fluffy and no Azkaban :) could include reader as well but more focused on sirius being a dad — @msmb

A.N: No Azkaban AU! So more like Everyone Lives AU! This focuses more on Sirius being a dad, but the reader is present! (No Peter mention) These are lowkey kinda messy so bare with me lmao. It feels short?? Love you all ❤️

So ok I’m first thinking of baby name options

I am a strong supporter of the idea that Sirius keeps up the Black family tradition of naming kids after space things

Mostly because he wants to make the tradition his own—make a better, more loving, more accepting Black family that he can be proud of

So I’m thinking of Alphard (his favorite uncle), Regulus (because he found out that he was a hero and helped destroy Voldemort), and Andromeda (his favorite cousin)

You can obviously help with the name choices, he also lets you pick their middle names

Now that that’s established

Sirius is absolutely terrified about having children

He thinks he’ll screw them up and be a terrible father like his father was

Sirius honestly thinks it’s a Black family gene that they’re all terrible parents

He tries to channel his inner Fleamont Potter

But the insecurities always come back

You and James always try to reassure him

I mean—look how he is with Harry!

Sirius loves that kid and he’s not even his own

So he already has good practice

He says that doesn’t matter

Until he holds your first child in his arms

It all just melts away

He is 100% enamored with that little lump in his arms

He’s crying, you’re crying

“Merlin, they’re so tiny!”

Sirius makes a promise that day that he won’t be like his father

That he’s going to be better

And he’s going to love and care for this child

And he keeps that promise

This kid is spoiled

The second this kid is brought into this world, they have him wrapped around their little finger

And that’s a common theme

Sirius wants to be the cool parent so he buys them everything and more

Sirius willingly gets up in the middle of the night to take care of them

He’ll sit in the rocking chair in their nursery and sing a song

Hell yeah it’s “Killer Queen”

“Shh..it’s alright, my little one.”

Sirius never wants to let them go

Calls them his little pup and that’s a nickname that forever sticks

So obviously, this kid is going to be best friends with Harry

The two of you visit Lily and James all the time

Remus will come down as well and he’s just adorable with the two of them

You’re all just this big happy family

Sirius loves dressing them up in little outfits

Little leather jackets are a must

He’ll become Padfoot and just curl up with them while their asleep

This is a secret

But one time, he convinced James to strap his kid onto Padfoot’s back

Nothing went wrong

But it’s a secret

Until James drunkenly reveals what happened

Sirius wants to put the little guy in his flying death trap of a motorcycle almost right away

But after a few choice words from you, he puts that off for a few months

Extremely protective

Only James, Lily, and Remus are allowed to hold his little pup

That’s it

And also Minnie, but she isn’t around often because she works

Makes bets with your friends what their first words will be

He hopes it’s Padfoot, like Harry’s was

“C’mon, pup. Padfoot. Just say Padfoot for daddy!”

When it’s Moony, he almost cries and strangles Remus

Don’t worry though, Snuffles is next

Then mummy

He likes to brag that they said his name first before yours

“They love me more, love, what can I say?”

Fast fowarding a little bit

This kid is treated like royalty

Sirius knows when to be stern, he doesn’t want this kid to be too spoiled, if you know what I mean

But he never over does it

He’s very careful about that

Sirius and James teach little pup and Harry quidditch while you and Lily watch from inside the house

Sirius is genuinely interested in their interests

Reading? Sure! Sirius will read them to bed every night

Collecting bugs? Sirius will hike out into the woods with them to find all different kinds

Is so excited when they show signs of magic

When they finally go off to Hogwarts he gives them the talk about Houses

Sirius doesn’t care what house they’re sorted into

Even Slytherin

He knows there’s a good chance they’ll be sorted there

But honestly

He will never not love his kid

He won’t love them any less if they’re not in Gryffindor

Sirius doesn’t cry when he drops them off at King’s Cross

But he sobs when he gets home

He misses them so much

It’s too hard

Sends letters all the time

When he finds out what house they’ve been sorted into, he buys so much merch

House scarves, jumpers, banners, everything

He loves supporting them

Sirius would be a great dad because he’s the perfect mix of cool and protective

Big sayer of “I love you”

Wants more if you’re down for it

•

Sirius Black Taglist: @fific7 @quindolyn @msmb

All Character Taglist: @aspiringsloth20

[spiritualzari]

Short Stack

Mentions: With/ Benjamin Thomas @amaya-veerapen Time Frame: Zari’s birthday charity drive  A/N: Zari faces their dad after years of not speaking to one another. 

“Short Stack? Come sit.” 

Zari had been eyeing their father the entire night. They knew that at some point, he’d want to talk and it would be time to face their biggest fear; rejection. Again. For the most part, Zari understood tough love and why things had ended up the way they did with their father but there wasn’t enough therapy in the world that would prepare them for Benjamin Thomas’ wrath for the second time. “Um...” the spiritual director looked around and figured now was a good time as any to join their father on one of the benches outside of the church. “Sure.” 

It was surreal. Zari hadn’t heard that nickname in so long. As a matter of fact, outside of old voicemails and home videos, Zari hadn’t heard their father’s voice for far too long. They took the seat beside their father and cleared their throat. “Thank you for coming and donating the coats.” 

“Are you really a pastor?” Benjamin turned in his seat to face his offspring. “Like, when did that happen? And you’re clean?” 

“Yes. To both those questions. I understand if you don’t believe me. I’ve failed you more than once but also, I’m not hoping for some sort of reunion that’ll make everything go away so I understand if you’re on the fence about this. Amaya was just hoping that we’d get to talk. They have a great relationship with their father so ...” All of that minus the information about Raj and Amaya was false. Zari wanted nothing more than a reunion but Benjamin was eyeing them the way he did the day they got out of juvie. 

“Now, now. One thing at a time. I’m sorry if I came off a bit...callous. I’m genuinely surprised but pleasantly so. I’ve been reading about your work in the community paper. You’ve been doing a lot. And for the record, I’m glad Amaya did what they did. I heard about their relationship with their father, Raj. It made me think about us. Before everything went to shit. Shit, can I curse in front of you?” 

“Why does everyone ask that?” Zari chuckled. “I curse. It’s...fine. complicated but fine. I’m not like your regular ol’ pastor.” 

“I’ll say.” He cleared his throat and took a good look at his child. “Zari, I’m sorry for pushing you away and leaving you alone. You didn’t deserve that.” 

“I did, actually. I wouldn’t have learned my lesson otherwise and I screwed up big time. It built character---” 

“No. It left you alone in a time when you really needed me and I’m not going to justify my actions with what happened with your mom. I truly messed up and for that I am so sorry.” 

Zari stared for a moment, unable to form the right words. “I’ve already forgiven you.” 

“Ah, well you’re the better Thomas, then. But I’ve always known that. you got that from your mother. I was too self-righteous. And when I wanted to reach out and start over, I felt maybe it would have been best if I didn’t. I had already failed you once.” 

“Why now then?” Zari asked genuinely hopeful. 

“I got tired of being a coward and your significant other is a little scary, not going to lie.” 

They both laughed and the silence fell between them shortly after. “We’ve all made some terrible mistakes. I’ve got plenty I wish I never had to revisit.” 

“Me too, short stack. Is Frankie here? I have to thank them for helping you...” 

“They are but it’s...things are weird right now. We had a fall out. that self-righteous gene? I got that too.” Zari sighed. “But i’m learning. Like you, I’m trying harder not to be a coward.” 

“Hah. Well...good. Maybe we can brave this world together for a change? At your pace.” 

Zari stared again, letting a few seconds of silence fall once more before leaning in to pull their dad in for an embrace. “I’ve missed you, daddy.” They buried their face into their father’s shoulder. “I never stopped.” 

And with that, Benjamin embraced his first-born and kept them close, given them a tight squeeze. “I never stopped either.” 

[its5amandimstillawake]

Ok so this may seem random but I just binge watched bobs burger, all 10 seasons of it. And I had always heard it was like American Dad or family guy, hell when I googled "what to watch if you liked Bob's burgers" or looked for shows similar American Dad and family guy came up. Now I hated family guy and American Dad growing up, my dad watched it and I just never enjoyed it. But I watched a compilation on YouTube of Bob's burgers and it seemed decent so I decided to give it a shot and im glad I did. Unlike American Dad or family guy, two shows that have the goal to offend people, and who's humor heavily relies on steriotype or references, Bob's burgers doesn't feel dated, doesn't rely on steriotype, it bases it's humor on putting these likeable character that you love into different scenarios and having them reacting to the world around them. And unlike a lot of shows, like I said watched all 10 seasons and it never really got repetitive or boring or annoying I honestly enjoyed every episode, every episode felt new and fresh, even if the idea has been done before. Now there are several things I enjoy about Bob's burgers and I just kind of felt like talking about it so

First, they all, not only love eachother, but also actually like eachother. Now I feel like a lot of people don't quite get what I mean by that. I personally love my mom, I do not like her, I don't like the way she thinks or acts, I always say that If I had met her at school or at work or something and was not related to her I wouldn't like her. I've seen many siblings who love eachother, they'll defend eachother and take care of eachother but for the most part avoid eachother especially if they're at the same school, they don't go out of their way to talk or hang out with eachother. This family all seem to actually like eachother though.

Which leads me to my next point. The Belcher siblings are personally my favorite part of the show, I was actually confused when I first started seeing them all together, because most shows seem to have that sibling relationship of love but not like, and while that's fine and can be realistic, I don't very often see a show that shows a good healthy sibling relationship of siblings actually liking eachother which can also be realistic and is a good thing to teach kids. The Belcher siblings are great, they of course defend eachother and take care of eachother but they're also friends. They walk together in between classes, theyre all in the same friend group, they go out of their way to hang out with eachother and play togetherand have fun together, they eat lunch together and scheme together. Of course they also spend time by themselves and will hang out with their mutual friends without their siblings and have friends outside of the mutual friend group, and of course they get into arguments and disagree with eachother a lot, what siblings don't? But for the most part they get along very well. You won't see any of them embarrassed to be seen with their younger siblings in or out of school, even Tina, the teenager of the group who's going through a lot for the typical teen problems including being embarrassed often and caring a lot about what others in her grade think, will hang out with her little brother and sister, and take part in their mischief, and eat lunch with them and doesn't have a problem with it.

The kids aren't the only one with a uniquely healthy relationship when it comes to these types of shows, we also have their parents, Bob and Linda. Bob isn't the steriotypicaltypical husband that's often portrayed in these types of shows, Bob isn't the husband that complains about how his wife is always nagging or jokes about how being married is awful. Linda isn't the steriotypicaltypical wife, Linda doesn't complain about how her husband can't take care of himself, or seem disgusted by her husband or seem exasperated by the kind of person her husband is. Strangely enough they seem to actually love eachother, and support and encourage eachother and care about eachother and enjoy spending time together and enjoy working together. They enjoy making small fun competitions with eachother and having fun and laughing together. They seem to bring out the best of eachother. And yes they aren't exactly in their honeymoon phase, and may not have that "spark" they first had when they first got together, and they're not exactly the pinnacle of romance, they are however a good representation of a happily married couple who genuinely love and like eachother and have been married for years. And of course they each have their flaws and they have their disagreements and arguments but who doesn't?

And the Belcher kids love and like their parents as well and enjoy being with them and involve them in their antics as well.

And they love and like their kids as well. And given each of the children it would be expected in a show like this for one or two of the children to be considered "disappointments" or "not as good as the favorite child" there's usually a kid who's clearly the favorite and one or more kids who's looked down upon by the parents and everyone else in shows like these, however Bob and Linda genuinely love and are very proud of each of their kids and they both have good relationships with all of their kids. Even in the episode where they spent the entire time showing just how much of a screw up gene was, Bob took gene aside and said that while gene could get distracted and could mess up at times that he was still very proud of him and loved him.

Bob and Linda support their kids in everything they do, even in the episode where gene got interested in "table setting" and got into a competition and his parents didn't quite understand it or understood why someone would enjoy it they still helped and encouraged him and expressed how proud they were that he found something he enjoyed doing.

It's a very healthy family and it's enjoyable to watch.

The show itself, although it has 10 seasons, doesn't ever get annoying or repetitive, every episode seems fresh, like I said binge watched the entire show and was actually pretty sad when I got the final episode and realized I was done and couldn't watch anymore, although the first season was great it got better over time, and personally I thought each season was better then the last.

I like that all the characters seem realistic, their was several episodes with the Belcher kids where I could imagine my younger self and my friends and brother doing similar things. And like I said the parents though loving also seemed like a realistic couple that have been married for years.

I also liked the consitancy. A lot of characters over time will become an exaggerated version of their former selves. For example a character like Patrick star or homer Simpson or Cosmo from fairly odd parents, who start off the show kind of dumb and clueless but not annoyingly so and are still enjoyable, over time will become so damn moronic that you wonder how they've managed to go this long without accidentally killing themselves and it becomes annoying and frustrating and they're no longer likeable.

None of the characters in this show have a character flaw that becomes so extreme they become unlikable, in fact all of the characters in the belcher family are likeable, and stay consistent, thats the point, you want to see them go through these things and want to see them win and come out on top because of how likeable they are. Louise is mischief, she's a prankster, but it's never to the point where she's unlikeable, she's still a good kid who usually doesn't go to far and when she does shes quick to see her mistake, apologize, and try to make it right, if anything a lot of times her pranks are to help defend other people or "bring justice" to people who have been wronged.

She may be a bit extreme but she's still a good kid and you want to see her come out on top. Gene can be loud and extreme and not really get hints, but he wants to befriend people and wants to help people, even though he can be gullible and a bit clueless and as a result can easily get roped into stuff, he tries to help people and make things right when he sees things going south, he's a sweet kid.

And Tina can be innapropriate, and can be selfish at times and not always see the big picture, but like gene and Louise when she sees that she's messed up she immediately tries to fix it and make things right, she has a stronger moral compass then either of her siblings and usually the voice of reason and helps people out whatever situation they're in, including her siblings who can often end up in some pretty bad situations, and is willing to take the fall for the sake of others.

Bob can by cynical, and a bit extreme about things he cares about (work, turkeys, Thanksgiving in general) and when he gets extreme he won't think things all the way through he'll just react, but he means well, he cares about his family and will put aside his obsessions for his family and is willing to sacrifice those things for his family. Hell one of the things hes obsessed with is Thanksgiving, he will make sure everything goes PERFECTLY and will get very upset if they're not perfect and will go crazy trying to make it perfect, but the reason Thanksgiving is his favorite holiday and the reason he cares so much is because of his love for his family and because Thanksgiving to him is being with your family. And even he is willing to sacrifice his Thanksgiving to be there for his friend, teddy, who's alone and without his family.

Linda can also be extreme and not think things all the way through but like bob, she means well, the times she gets extreme is typically when it involves her family and trying to do everything in her power to make them happy, and to do what she considers the morally right thing to do, even if it means going a little crazy and taking things a bit to far while doing so. I think a good example of this was when Louise got in trouble at school for causing problems, she was causing problems because a couple of kids were picking on a smaller kid and she was attempting to defend the kid, Linda thinks it's morally wrong to punish Louise for defending a kid and breaks Louis out of detention from the window (also breaking the school's AC in the process) to get her some ice cream all while having to avoid mr.frond, the school counselor who's around the same area. It's a good example of how it makes for a funny episode and flawed characters because of how extreme they can get but how they're motivation and reasonings makes them likeable and makes you root for them.

Anyway. I know this is kind of random it just kind of bothered me that I don't really see bobs burgers being talked about very often and I see it being compared to American Dad and family guy when, from what I've seen of the two shows, it's not really similar at all

[feeling-weirdy]

Imagine if the Boys and Wanda try to make their own little robot while Vision is at work! It all goes terribly wrong, and when Vision gets home, Vision could be like "Um, Actually, this goes here, and- What is there a paper clip in here? Whatever. Now if you turn this and-" and they eventually have a mini robot! @thatonedekusimp

Got this prompt yesterday after I had a shockingly similar one from a couple of weeks ago that was up next.  Something tells me @thatonedekusimp and @endrdragin are in cahoots!!

“That’s stupid.  It doesn’t go there!”  Tommy shouted.

“Shut up!  It does too!”  Billy shoved Tommy’s hand out of the way, placing one more piece along the length of the tiny robot's arm.  The two had been bickering for the better part of a few hours now, completely shattering Vision’s hope for a quiet afternoon.

“Billy, come on!” 

“No, back off!”

Their volume only increased, sending his nice relaxing afternoon alone into a fighting ring.  His afternoons alone with the boys never seemed to go as plan. 

“Boys, boys, please.  What on Earth are you fighting over??”  Vision finally broke down, rubbing his eyes with the tips of his fingers with a soft sigh.  His circuits had been running in overdrive attempting to tune down the constant bickering of his two boys.

“We have this project due for our robotics class tomorrow and Billy won’t let me help,” Tommy whined, leaning back in his chair to yell back at his father.  He folded his arms, upset and betrayed no doubt by the twin beside him.

“That’s because you’re doing this all wrong.  Just give me some space, I’ll take care of it.”  Billy gripped the robot tighter, tongue sticking out as he continued to mess with the poor little thing.

“But it’s not working so you’re not doing it right either!”  Tommy reached forward and attempted to rip the robot out of his hands, but the grip Billy had on it was unable to be broken. 

Billy shoved him out of the way, growling softly as his eyes narrowed onto the small creature they had created.

“Alright, just let me take a look.”  Pushing himself off the couch, Vision trudged over to the kitchen table with the construction had taken place, taking the empty seat beside the two boys.  He lifted the small red and blue contraption in his hands, allowing his scanners to briefly diagnose what exactly had become the issue. 

For a couple of pre-teen boys, they had done well, surprisingly.  The small robot had been almost perfectly constructed, although a bit rudimentary.  Experience and finesse, however, would both come with time.  Regardless, Vision swelled with pride.  The two boys had robotics deep within their genes.  Whether they looked it or not, they were part synthezoid and it was only natural for them to excel in this subject.

The twins continued to make faces at one another, careful not to touch the other while their father was close enough to catch whoever started their little war.

Grabbing one of the small screwdrivers, Vision leaned forward to get a closer look at the machine.

“It seems like...you just had a few screws loose.  Let me just tighten this...”  Vision’s hand turned in short, precise movements, following the on-screen instructions that appeared before his eyes.  “And connect this...”  Setting down the screwdriver, he continued to connect multiple wires, turning the machine around to better inspect the back.  “Not sure what this is doing in there.”  Removing the paper clip that had inexplicably been placed deep within the robot’s back, everything now looked to be in order.

“Well?”  Billy pushed himself forward, feet dangling behind him in the chair as he got a closer look at what his father had done. 

“Finished.  You’ll get an A+, no doubt about it.”  Vision smiled, handing the small toy back to Billy.  His face lit up, carefully inspecting the areas where he had been with the screwdriver.  Flipping the switch on the back of the robot, his arms and legs instantly began to move.  It had been perfect.

Tommy’s arms were still crossed, eyes locked on the little machine.  “Pretty sure we’re gonna fail.  I think that was probably cheating.” 

“We’re just using the tools available to us.  It’s not cheating,” Billy explained.  Hopping out of his chair, he ran over to where their backpacks were resting and set it beside them carefully.  “See?  It’s perfect.”

Vision scoffed.  “I suppose I am the tool in that sentence.”

The two twins shared a look choosing not to answer his statement.

“Thanks, dad!  That helped a lot.”  Billy chose his words carefully, careful not to go back to the previous topic. 

“Yeah...thanks,” Tommy added, reluctantly sliding off of the chair to meet with his brother.

Vision chuckled, shaking his head slightly as they whispered to each other.  “Alright well...off you two go.  Find something to entertain yourselves with besides...bickering, please.  I’d like some sort of peace and quiet before the afternoon is done, is that clear?”

“Yup!”  The twins ran to the back door, opening the door wide enough to run through with a laugh.  Despite having left the house, however, Vision could still hear their unending little quarrels back and forth.  He closed his eyes, allowing himself to power down for a minute before their next outburst.  Wanda would be home soon and she would have no trouble getting them to behave, no doubt about that.

Check out my other drabbles here or feel free to request some!

[babi-correia]

1+1=...3?

From Anon:

Could you do a Jesse Lee Soffer imagine where they bring their newborn home?

Words: 1364 Warnings: None? Pairing: Jesse Lee Soffer x Reader A/N: GIF by me from THIS post

You can barely believe your eyes when you see the two lines on the small plastic stick on your sink’s counter. Grabbing it gingerly, you take a deep breath.

You think back to the stomach flu you had caught a few weeks ago and how the doctor had advised you that the medication would probably cut the effect of the pill. You had payed it no mind since you hadn’t thrown up a single time, but when you failed to get your period when it was due, you knew you probably should have listened to the doctor.

Your hand is shaking when you grab your phone, opening your texts with Marina and shooting her a quick message.

You: I need to talk to you, and Jesse can’t know.

She calls you through facetime almost immediately and you answer, sitting on your bed with your back against the headboard.

“Is everything ok, (Y/N)?” She asks, worry etched on her face.

“I screwed up, Marina.” You say, holding the small plastic stick in front of the camera. “I’m pregnant.”

Her mouth drops and she quickly moves, walking briskly until you can hear the door to her trailer close behind her.

“Are you serious? That’s amazing!” She says, grinning from ear to ear. “How are you going to tell Jesse?”

“Marina, we weren’t trying for kids. The medication I took for my stomach flu cut the pill’s effect.” You say, feeling the tears brimming your eyes. “I don’t even know if he’s going to be on board with it.”

“Have you seen Jesse around kids? He’s a total softy, and he’s going to be stoked to have one of his own.” She says, invoking her motherly soothing voice. “You don’t need to stress about it, he’s going to be 100% on board.”

“Thank you, Marina. And I’m sorry to bother you, I’m just at a complete and absolute loss about this.” You sigh, rubbing your forehead.

“It’s ok, sweetie. I’m always here for whatever you might need! I’ll hook you up with my lifesavers during pregnancy. I’ll see you later.”

She blows you a kiss before the call disconnects and you put your phone down, your hands resting lightly on your stomach.

“One plus one equals three, huh?” You mutter to yourself, sitting in bed for a bit before you put on a pair of shoes, a cap and sunglasses and drive to the nearest mall.

You quickly browse the baby aisle, picking the smallest pair of neutral baby shoes available and a newborn-sized body before going to the self-checkout, doing everything you can to not be recognized and outed before even Jesse knows.

When you get home you set the body and the shoes on top of the bed, taking a postcard-sized piece of paper and scribbling down “1+1=3… Oops?” and setting it down on top of the body, with the test next to it.

The minutes tick by as you wait for Jesse to arrive home, and you rush to the bathroom when you hear the familiar sound of his bike parking in the driveway.

“(Y/N)?” He calls out as he enters the house, setting his keys down and taking off his shoes in the entrance.

“In the bathroom!” You call out, wringing your hands together as you hear him climb the stairs.

His footsteps stop briskly as he steps inside the room and you step into the room, looking at him as he looks down at the setup you left on the bed. He points at it, confusion on his face as he turns to you.

“Is that- Are you serious? You’re pregnant?” He says, a smile spreading across his face as you nod. He closes the space between you in two strides, wrapping you in a tight hug that you eagerly return. “I’m going to be a dad!”

-

Almost 9 months later you’re laying on the hospital bed, and Jesse’s sitting in the chair by your bed, holding your baby girl inside a bundle of blankets while he facetimes his mom.

“Hey Jill!” You greet, trying to wipe away the tiredness from your eyes.

“(Y/N), darling, how are you doing?” She asks, beaming as Jesse uncovers your daughter’s face and shows her to the camera. “Oh, she’s just precious!”

“Emma’s great, and I’m doing fine, within possible.” You say, smiling at her. “I almost broke your son’s hand.”

“It’s nothing he can’t take, hun. It takes two to tango, and if you were suffering, he should suffer with you.” She says, making you chuckle. “When are you guys going home?”

“I think today, actually.” Jesse says, rocking Emma as she fusses. “In a couple hours, maybe.”

As if on cue, the doctor comes in the room with the charts on his hands, a smile on his face.

“So, Mrs. Soffer, I think we can clear both you and little Emma there to go home and rest where it’s familiar for the mom.” He says, casually flipping the sheets and reading your file diagonally. “It was a trouble-free pregnancy and labor, and I think that Emma would feel better in a quiet and homely environment where it smells like her parents than in this sterile hospital, don’t you think?”

“I’d say yes.” You reply as Jesse says goodbye to his mom and ends the call.

“Alright, I’ll file the papers for your release, but keep in mind that you’re going to have to take it easy nonetheless, Mrs. Soffer. You just gave birth. Mr. Soffer, you’re going to have to help mommy around the house.”

“He already does.” You say, smiling at Jesse.

“Alright, I’ll be right back with the forms for you to sign, but I think you can get dressed in the meantime.” The doctor says, excusing himself as he leaves the room.

Jesse sets Emma down on the little hospital crib as he gets up and gets your clothes from the bag, setting them on the foot of the bed as you gingerly sit up.

“Need help with anything, darling?” Jesse asks, quickly moving to be by your side and help you get up. You wobble a bit at first but quickly find your balance, moving slowly towards the bathroom.

“Just hand me the clothes, please.” You say, running a bit of water before splashing it on your face.

When you get out of the bathroom fully clothed, you find Jesse talking to your daughter as he puts her in her car seat.

“And you’re not gonna cry during the night, because mommy is scary when she can’t sleep properly, ok? Believe me, the last thing we want is a grumpy, sleep deprived mommy.” He whispers to her as he buckles her in. “But no matter how grumpy mommy is, always remember that we both love you very, very, very much.”

“I don’t know what a good night’s sleep is since about a couple of months ago, I’ve gained control of my grumpiness.” You say, tucking yourself into Jesse’s side when he extends his arm towards you. “But daddy was right about the last part, we love you like you can never imagine. And your dad and I are going to have to kick some serious butt in a few years if you manage to pull his genes.”

“I’ll have to buy a shotgun to scare off your boyfriends.” Jesse says, making you slap his chest.

“That’s a little too much, honey. A little talk from momma bear will suffice, I’m sure.”

“Oh, that’s another thing!” Jesse exclaims towards your daughter. “Never, ever get on mommy’s bad side. It’s the worst.”

Jesse kisses the top of your head as he grabs the car seat with his free hand and pops it down in the wheel set, hoisting your bag over his shoulder before he turns to you.

“We’re going home?” You ask, receiving a grin in response.

“Yeah. My mom insisted and there’s going to be a cozy, warm, home-cooked meal waiting for us when we get there. And Marina may or may not pop by with a ridiculous amount of baby things.” He says sheepishly, making you chuckle as the three of you make your way down the hallway.

[aliendes]

Natural Borns - Chapter Three

Banner made by @thebannershop​ 

Series info/genre: Angst, fluff, (possible) smut NSFW due to darker themes

Pairings: ot7 x fem reader (eventual)

Warnings: mentions of panic and anxiety, blood, and overall sadness in this chapter. This series will have different trigger warnings listed for each chapter (if there are any), but as a whole, this series will include violence, mentions of depression & other mental illnesses, cursing, abuse, drugs/alcohol, some shitty medical descriptions because i am NOT a doctor, self-esteem issues, fluff, and possible smut in future chapters (but that’s undecided). i will add more warnings/tags in the future if there are any.

Description: In the year 2613, over half of the world’s population are what scientists consider ‘designer babies’. YN is a small town girl who is a true natural born, someone born naturally without he help of a lab or gene splicing. Her DNA is greatly sought after, but what is she willing to do to protect it? 

Word count: 5.5k~ 

A/N: Thank you all so much for the love on this series! If you want to be added to the tag list, please make sure you’re following me and send me an ask! This chapter is a little longer than normal because it contains a lot of backstory. We will be meeting (almost) all of the boys in this chapter and I’m super excited for the next couple chapters. As always, I’m happy to answer questions/asks and I love hearing from you. Reblog and help other’s see the series! xoxo - Des

Updated: 8/3/2020

Squinting, you cocked your head to the side as you caught sight of something, or someone, in your driveway. There, in front of your house, was your father.

And Hyunwoo. 

You quickly maneuvered your body so you were completely hidden from sight behind the large oak tree. Your back was pushed against the rough bark, palms flat against the wood. Instead of catching your breath like you intended, your heart rate was soaring, you felt like you couldn’t breath. You screwed your eyes shut for a moment, trying to process everything that was happening.

Namjoon and Seokjin. They just warned you about Hyunwoo, the man now standing in your driveway with your father. Warned you that he could potentially be there to kidnap you - or worse - buy you from your parents. Your initial thoughts drove that possibility from your mind. Your parents wouldn’t do that. You know that. They’ve been protecting you your entire life. They’ve kept you at home, kept you away from anywhere that you could be scouted. But - eyes still screwed shut, you furrow your brow - why? Why have they kept you sheltered? You shook your head violently trying to erase these thoughts from your brain. You took a deep breath and opened your eyes. You slowly turned around to face the tree you were hiding behind, and carefully peeked around it, searching for the two men again. 

Your father and Hyunwoo were still standing on your front porch. You were pretty far away from them so you really couldn’t make out facial expressions. You watched them for a moment, trying to read body language, but it was no use. You were too far. As you watched the pair you started to calm down a bit. Maybe Hyunwoo was just coming back to try and talk your father - or you - into selling your DNA. No big deal. Your dad would put a stop - you squint your eyes, trying to get a better look. It looked like they were - shaking hands? After your father shook hands with him, Hyunwoo turned and walked directly to his car. As he opened the door he gave one last wave in your father’s direction and bent to get into the driver’s seat. Before he was fully seated, his eyes snapped to you, as if he had known you were standing there all along.

You gasped loudly and it felt like all the air was violently sucked out of your lungs. You locked eyes with the man. Instead of outing you to your father who was now making his way back into your house, he kept his eyes on your frozen form and continued to sit down. He stared for only a moment before closing his door. A silent message that you heard loud and clear. You weren’t breathing, couldn’t move at all. Your feet felt like anchors weighing you down, keeping you rooted to the ground. You watched as the straight faced, calm Hyunwoo started his car and drove away from your farm. 

Your body reacts before your mind could and suddenly you’re running through the forest, back in the direction of the stream. Your thoughts were reeling. You were scared, terrified, even. You were sprinting now, full speed, not caring about the soles of your bare feet. Your eyes were clouded with hot tears spilling down your cheeks. You were running so fast you could hear the whir of wind trailing off your form, leaves crackling and crunching on the forest floor, and the sound of your quick, labored breathing. You have no idea where you’re going, just letting your feet take you far away from your home. Something inside you was telling you, no, screaming at you, to get away from whatever deal you just witnessed between your father and Hyunwoo. 

Hyunwoo.

He knows you’re out here. He’s probably looking for you right now, or will be soon. Your brain was finally catching up with your body as you started to slow down to a jog. Quickly, you pulled your phone out of your pocket to dial the only number you felt like you could in this moment. Seokjin.

You needed to speak to him, you felt like he would have answers for you, he could tell you what to do. Before you could open your contacts you were falling through the air, phone flying from your grasp, before you slammed face first into the solid ground, cushioned only by dead leaves and shrubbery. 

It took you a moment to realize that you must have tripped. Your face was now laying against something wet. You winced as you slowly picked your upper body up off the forest floor with the palms of your already damaged hands. Eyes scrunched in pain, you let your body fall back down when your muscles protested the movement. You turned your head to the side and huffed out a breath, blowing the hair that had fallen around your face. You picked your head up slightly to look to where your phone had fallen, seeing it was only a few feet in front of you, luckily not broken.

You reached out your arm to try and grab for it when you heard footsteps. Immediately your body stiffened and you twisted yourself from your prone position to try and see who was approaching. Now laying on your back, propped up on your elbows, you groaned in pain at your quick movements, but were quickly met with two sets of worried eyes.

“YN!” A familiar voice shouted. How did they find me? You weren’t sure how far you ran, but it couldn’t have been that far. How long have you been gone? 

At the realization that the newcomers were safe, you closed your eyes and let your head fall back onto the cool ground, letting out a relieved, albeit painful, sigh.

“YN, are you ok!?” Seokjin’s frantic voice was now in your ear as you heard his knees hit the ground next to your face. Slowly, you opened one eye, taking in Jin’s panicked expression. His dark hair was a frazzled mess, like he had been running his hands through it.

You tried rolling onto your side, whining in pain in the process, but Seokjin put his hand on your shoulder, stopping you short. Your breathing was starting to even out, but as the adrenaline in your body wore off, the pain was hitting you full force. As you opened both eyes, you saw both of Jin’s hands hovering over your body like he was afraid to touch you and damage you further. A few feet behind him, also on his knees, you saw Namjoon. As soon as you actually acknowledged their presence, Seokjin took his backpack off his shoulders and immediately started tending to your wounds. He noticed how bloody your feet were, and decided to work on them first. It took you a moment to relax to his touch, still on edge from the recent events. As you took in your surroundings, you now noticed there was a third person, standing a few feet behind Namjoon. You startled a bit upon meeting the new man’s eyes. The stranger jumped a bit at the eye contact, much to your surprise. 

Namjoon’s brow was furrowed in worry, but when he noticed you jump, he followed your gaze to the other man. The newcomer was tall, but not as tall as Namjoon, and looked to be closer to your age than Namjoon or Seokjin, maybe even younger than you. He had dark, curly hair that was falling into his eyes. Much like the other two, he was extremely handsome with a sharp jawline and round, doe like eyes. He looked a little embarrassed by your intense stare and diverted his eyes to the ground in front of him.

“Ah - YN, this is Jungkook,” Namjoon started, gesturing his hands towards the shy boy, “he’s the maknae of our group.” 

You slowly nodded your head before letting your eyes slip closed again. Seokjin was disinfecting and bandaging the wounds on your feet and legs and though he was gentle, you were still in a great deal of pain. Your chest felt heavy, a foreign pressure near your ribs. It was becoming a little hard to breathe in the position you were in. 

“I’m sorry,” Jin apologized as you winced, “what the hell happened to you YN? I think you may have a couple bruised ribs.” He seemed to notice your pained expression and helped turn you on your undamaged side. 

Eyes still closed, you let out a huff. “I ran back home after you left. When I got to the orchard, I saw Hyunwoo.”

You heard someone inhale a sharp breath, but who it was, was a mystery to you. You opened your eyes, staring directly into Seokjin’s as you finished, “He was talking to my dad. They were shaking hands,” you could feel yourself starting to fall into a panic as you remembered the scene, “when he left, he saw me. It- it was like he- he knew I was standing, watching them the whole time. I don’t think my dad saw me, but as soon as Hyunwoo got in his car, I took off. I- I’m scared,” you whined out the last words, feeling overwhelmed by the events of today. You felt Seokjin’s thumb rubbing a soothing circle on the ankle he was currently wrapping as you finished your story. 

“You made the right choice to run, YN,” Jin mumbled as he looked up at your face, “Who knows what was going on there, or if he’s looking for you. We shouldn’t stay here long, just in case,” he murmured the last part, almost as if speaking to himself. 

“How far are we from the farm?” You asked, curious how far you ran. 

“About a mile, a little ways from the stream,” he answered easily. 

Namjoon got up from his kneeling position and walked over to your side, Jungkook following close behind like a puppy. You absently thought how adorable he was as you watched him sit on the forest floor behind Seokjin. He reached out to Jin and grabbed onto the back of his shirt, almost like it was a comfort to be near him. You could understand why he felt that way, Seokjin had this comforting aura about him. You felt safe with him, even though you barely knew each other. 

Namjoon was now on your opposite side as Jin moved up your body to take a look at the scrapes on the side of your face. “I agree with Jin. We should get going as soon as you’re able to get up. We aren’t too far away from the stream we were at earlier. Probably wouldn’t be too hard to track us here.” Namjoon reached out a hand, like he was going to touch your face, or hair, but thought better of it and pulled away. You thought the action was a little strange, but decided not to dwell on it. 

“What are you guys doing out here anyways?” You asked, remembering they had left not too long ago. “How did you find me?”

Namjoon’s face aggressively blushed as he looked over at Seokjin who looked unbothered. “We wanted to be near you in case something happened,” he managed without looking at you, “in case you called.”

You let out a dry laugh, the first the boys had heard from you. “I was actually taking my phone out to call Seokjin when I fell.”

Namjoon gave you a tight lipped smile, “I was about to ask.” 

Seokjin was wiping a cotton ball at your bloodied face now, “It’s going to be getting dark soon. We should get going, do you think you can stand?” He asked you, assessing your body one more time and nodding quickly to himself once he determined you were ok. 

You nodded a bit, sitting up on your elbows. You winced as you went to tidy your hair that was surely a rat’s nest. “Yeah, just - just give me a minute.” You mustered what energy you had left and pushed yourself onto your feet. 

“I left my shoes back at the orchard,” you said as you stood up to your full height, “kind of dumb me.” You watched as Seokjin repacked his bag and stood up, the younger man standing up almost completely in sync, his hand still gripped on Jin’s shirt. The older man seemed  completely unbothered by the other’s action, like it was completely normal. Namjoon watched you as you curiously eyed Jungkook.

“We went back to the other’s before heading towards your farm. Kookie wanted to come with.” He said with a fond smile as he mentioned the younger boy. 

Kookie. How cute. “Where are the others?” You asked as Namjoon stood up and walked towards his brothers. 

Jin slung his pack over his broad shoulders as he answered you, “We’re staying in an abandoned warehouse a few miles from here.” You knew exactly the one he was talking about. It was a big grey industrial building at the top of a quarry. The quarry was usually partially filled with water, and was no longer used. The warehouse used to house the stone that was mined there, but that was decades ago. 

“Yeah - I know the one.” Almost all of the high school parties Mina tried to get you to attend were held at that warehouse. 

Seokjin nodded at Namjoon, and the three men started to walk in the direction of the warehouse. You started to follow after them, but as soon as you took a step you let out a pained whimper, causing Seokjin, Namjoon, and Jungkook to whip their heads in your direction. 

“Hey - hey, wait,” Seokjin started, talking quick steps towards you, arms outstretched, “does it hurt to put pressure on it?”

You nodded, trying to fight the tears that were threatening to fall by biting hard into your lower lip. Jin looked over his shoulder at Jungkook who was slowly approaching you both. “Do you think you can carry her, Kook?”

The boy in question was now standing almost directly behind Jin with a hesitant look on his face. You looked up at him and saw the timidness in his expression, “It’s ok, really. I can do it.” You winced as you tried to take another step. 

“YN,” Jin said firmly. You haven’t heard him be this serious before, “Please don’t.”

You looked down to the ground and bit your lip again, nodding. Upon seeing your pain, Jungkook moved in front of Seokjin and turned his back to you. It took you a moment to realize he was kneeling down for you to jump on his back. You hesitated, you didn’t know this man, and he hasn’t spoken a single word since arriving here. Namjoon seemed to notice the resistance in your body language as he walked over and placed a hand on your shoulder. “It’s ok, YN. Kookie is really strong,” he explained, masking your true reasons for hesitating with worry for the young man, “you’ll both be fine.” He gave you a reassuring smile before walking next to Seokjin.

You slowly placed both of your hands on Jungkook’s shoulders and hobbled over until you could lean your front onto his back. It was an awkward position, made even more awkward by the fact you didn’t know the person who the back belonged to. As Jungkook stood up, you wrapped your arms around his neck and held on for dear life. “I wont drop you, Noona.” You startled at the first words spoken by the boy, blinking owlishly. You could hear Seokjin’s giggle from behind you both. You decided to trust Jungkook and loosened your grip a bit. 

“Ready?” Namjoon asked the group. After receiving nods and noises of affirmation, the four of you set off in the direction of the quarry. 

The walk to the quarry took about an hour, with you all moving a little slower than normal. Namjoon wasn’t lying when he said Jungkook was strong. He has had you on his back the entire walk, only setting you down once to take a drink from Seokjin’s water bottle. You were more than a little impressed by the young man’s stamina.

You realized you were getting close to the quarry when you started to see old dilapidated fencing and signage that contained warnings about cliffs and falling rock. As you reached the edge of the forest, you saw a clearing of trees that had one path leading down into the quarry that had a broken fence attempting to block it, and another path leading up towards the abandoned warehouse. You haven’t seen the warehouse since you were in highschool, having not the greatest memories here, you tried to stay away. 

As you approached the large building, you weren’t able to outwardly tell anyone was living in it. The outside was all cement with large metal and glass windows that surrounded the upper perimeter of the structure. The roof was a large pyramid shape that used to hold glass, but was now a shell of metal and wire, with some jagged pieces of leftover glass hanging on. You knew from previous experiences that there was no electricity in the building, and when it got dark, it was incredibly dark out here, no surrounding city lights to illuminate the place. You weren’t fond of the dark and the sun would be setting soon, giving you an uneasy feeling. 

Jungkook was beginning to slow down a bit, tiring from walking uphill to the warehouse. The path to get to the building was fairly long and winding. Your arms were crossed haphazardly across Jungkook’s chest to anchor you to his back and when you felt his breathing starting to pick up, you absentmindedly started rubbing one of your hands slowly up and down his pectoral. He straightened up at your movements and you immediately stopped, fearing you had made him uncomfortable. Your cheeks heated and you were glad he couldn’t see your face at the moment. You were sure because of his timid nature, he wasn’t faring much better. 

“You said you knew this place, have you been here before?” Namjoon asked curiously, ever the observant one. 

You nodded, “In highschool. Haven’t been here in years, though.” You explained. You turned your head to the right to see Namjoon and Seokjin walking together… holding hands? You thought briefly about how attached Jungkook had been to Seokjin earlier, holding onto him and following him around. Maybe it was a comfort thing? You filed away the thought for a later time. They weren’t looking at you, but Namjoon nodded in acknowledgement to what you said. 

“We’ve only been staying here for a few weeks,” Namjoon started to elaborate, “there are two more of our group inside. Don’t worry, they’re nice,” he explained quickly upon seeing apprehension written all over your face, “we’ve all known each other a long time, most of us lived together at Big Hit.” Namjoon and Seokjin both grimaced at the memory.

Seokjin took over for the other, “Yoongi and Hoseok are,” he hesitated, “different.” He spoke with careful words, “Yoongi is a little abrasive, just be ready for that. He says what he wants and doesn’t really hold back. He doesn’t trust easily, if at all, so I just want to prepare you for that,” your heart sank a little, feeling empathetic towards the man you haven’t even met, but continued listening carefully to Jin’s words, “Hoseok is a little mysterious. He’s really outgoing and very friendly,” Seokjin giggled, “he’s a lot like a golden retriever, but like Yoongi, he doesn’t trust easily. He’s had a really rough time since we left the facility,” Seokjin’s expression changed into something darker, something you haven’t seen on the man before.

You hurt for these men. They’ve been through so much. You can’t imagine the things they’ve seen or were put through, and you weren’t sure you wanted to find out. One thing you did know, though, was that you felt inclined to do something, to help, in any way that you could, seeing as they have been nothing but helpful toward you. You weren’t sure what you could even do to help them, having not been through the things they have. You really didn’t know much about Big Hit, or about designer baby companies in general. Your parents have hidden you away from the outside world, keeping you sheltered from what goes on in places like those. You’re starting to wonder if maybe that had done more harm than good. 

“Thank you,” you started, gaining the attention of all three men with you, “for being so kind to me. I wasn’t the most welcoming when we met, but I - I just want you to know I’m thankful for you guys, even if we don’t really know each other. Even if I’m not totally sure what’s going on, or what’s going to happen.” You laid your head on Jungkook’s shoulder as you finished speaking, feeling exhausted. You didn’t want to think about how tired poor Jungkook was feeling. 

Namjoon nodded and gave you a small smile before saying, “We couldn’t let what happened to us, happen to anyone else. If we can put a stop to DNA poaching, we will.” His tone conveyed so much conviction, you couldn’t help but believe him, when suddenly you remember something he said earlier.

“Didn’t you say that some of your… friends were still at Big Hit?” You weren’t sure what to call them. Family? They definitely seemed closer than just friends. You felt Jungkook stiffen beneath you and you were momentarily worried you had upset him, before Seokjin started to explain.

“Yes, two others,” Jin spoke quietly. Something dark flashed across his eyes as he continued, “We call them the twins, Jimin and Taehyung. They’re really close.” Namjoon smiled softly after the mention of his two friends, but continued staring at the ground as you all walked together. “They’re tough. At least, Jimin is, and Taehyung will be ok if he stays with Jimin. We’re doing everything we can to get them out. Yoongi spends all his time trying to figure out a way to hack into Big Hit’s system and break them out of there,” Seokjin let out a long sigh before turning to look at you, “They belong with us. We all belong together.”

Your chest hurt at Seokjin’s words. You could tell how much the six other men meant to him, how much they all meant to one another. The look Jin and Namjoon were currently giving each other proved as much. Namjoon slowly rubbed his free hand up and down Jin’s arm in a comforting manner. You internally smiled at the action. You felt a slight ease at the knowledge that they had each other through everything they had been through, and everything they were going through now. Your heart broke at the thought of the twins still being stuck at Big Hit. 

“We’re here,” Namjoon said softly, “I’m going to let the others know we have company,” he said to Jungkook and Jin, who both nodded in affirmation, before he walked through a large metal door on the side of the building. The way Namjoon spoke made you worry. What if the others didn’t like you? What if they wanted you to leave? Jin did tell you that they weren’t very trusting, understandably so. But would that mean they wouldn’t trust you either?

As you and the two men approached the side of the warehouse, Jungkook slowly knelt down to let you off his back, which you happily obliged. You didn’t mind being carried, but you felt incredibly bad for the young man and his poor muscles. As you slid onto the ground, you used Jungkook’s shoulders for support. When both your feet were on solid ground, you eased up to your full height, ignoring the stinging pain in the soles of your feet. You hobbled over to the side of the building and briefly took in your haggard appearance. Both feet and hands were wrapped in bandages, your ankles were bloodied, and your left forearm was sporting a rather nasty purple bruise. You could only imagine what your face looked like. 

While you were lost in your thoughts, you hadn’t noticed Jungkook and Seokjin standing off to the side whispering to each other, not so discreetly staring at you. Jungkook was curious by nature, so of course he was incredibly curious about you. A beautiful natural born, a woman at that. He thought you were the prettiest thing he had ever seen, not that he had seen much outside his six best friends and the labs he’s lived at, but still. You were new and interesting to him. He desperately wanted to get to know you more, but he was nervous.

The loud bang of the metal door Namjoon had previously entered brought you out of your self conscious reverie, startling both you and Jungkook, causing you both to jump. 

“YN,” Namjoon seemed a little out of breath, worrying you immediately, “do you have a phone?”

Your eyes widened for a moment before you nodded quickly. You pulled it out of your pocket to see you had twenty two notifications from your group chat, a missed call from Mina, some missed texts from your mom, and seven missed calls from your dad. You unlocked your phone and opened the text messages from your mom first. 

From Mom [7:51 pm]: Where are you??

From Mom [7:52 pm]: We’re worried about you Pearl, please come home

From Mom [7:55 pm]: YN whatever happened we can explain, please just come home sweetie.

You swallowed a lump in your throat as you looked up at Namjoon. Your mom knew something. Whatever happened, she said. Her or your father must have known you saw him and Hyunwoo earlier. Why would she assume something happened if you never said anything? “I think they know,” you trailed off, noticing a small, blonde man bursting through the metal door and appearing behind Namjoon.

“Give it to me,” the shorter man demanded in a tone that made you flinch, holding his hand out to you.

Seokjin sighed as he rubbed his hand down his face. He walked over to the blonde and put his hand on his shoulder. “Ease up Yoongi. Remember how scared you were when we first found you?” Jin was speaking in a soft tone, but you could tell he was giving an order. Yoongi scoffed in your direction and then turned in Jin’s grasp, looking up at the much taller man.

“Fuck off, Jin. You’re going to trust some girl you just met? They probably tracked her all the way here,” his eyes were narrowed into tiny slits as he glared at Seokjin. Yoongi pushed past Jin, purposely bumping into his shoulder on the way back through the door. You could hear Namjoon sigh from next to you. Jin watched on sadly as Yoongi stormed off before turning around to take in your somewhat pathetic form. You were battered and bruised, still a little bloody, clothes dirty, the bottom of your pants ripped and wet from falling. You stood with your shoulders hunched, eyes trained on the ground in front of you, one hand down at your side and the other clasping your hurt ribcage, looking as small as you could make yourself. Jin’s heart broke at the sight of you, and he could tell Namjoon was feeling the same by the quick glance they shared. Namjoon walked over to you and placed his large hand on your shoulder, causing you to peer up at him through your long lashes. He couldn’t help but think you must be the most gorgeous thing he’s ever seen, even in the state you were in currently.

“I’m sorry about him, like Jin said, he can come off a little… strong,” Namjoon glanced behind him at Jin, who nodded in agreement, “He only wants what’s best for the rest of us, and he is right, even though he may not have gone about it the right way. They can track your phone, and it would be smart to get rid of it, or at least let Yoongi hack it.”

You instantly understood why Yoongi had reacted to you in the way that he had, and you definitely didn’t hold it against him. You nodded your head a little too quickly at Namjoon, “No, I understand. Can- can I just text my friends? They’re probably worried about me, and I don’t know when I’ll get to see them next.”

Namjoon’s eyes softened at the small way you asked him for permission. He didn’t want you to feel like a prisoner in any way. You were a guest, and hopefully with time, a part of their little family. “Of course, YN.”

You gave him a small smile in thanks before unlocking your phone and opening your group chat. You ignored the massive onslaught of text messages and opted for sending something short and sweet so they knew you were ok. You just hoped they’d understand not to come looking for you. You knew how Mina could get when she was worried. 

From you [8:23 pm]: hey guys, sorry I can’t explain right now, but i’m not going to be home for a while. I’m safe, please don’t worry. I will get in contact with you both asap. Please, please don’t come looking for me.

You didn’t wait for a reply, realizing you probably wouldn’t be able to handle ignoring whatever it was that Mina or Woo would say in response. You locked your phone before handing it to Namjoon who pocketed it. “I’ll give this to Yoongi later.”

You weren’t super keen on letting the man who wasn’t very fond of you go through your personal device, but you figured it was for the best and Namjoon wouldn’t lead you astray. At least, you hoped as much. Namjoon wrapped one of his long arms under your own arms to help lead you into the warehouse as Jungkook, who had been completely silent throughout the whole ordeal, walked over to your other side to help. Seokjin trailed behind the three of you as you entered the building.

Yoongi didn’t like this. He didn’t like it one bit. As soon as Namjoon had come back to their temporary home, bursting through his door, letting him know they found you, he knew he didn’t like you. Yoongi had hoped against all hope that they wouldn’t find you, or if they did, you wouldn’t believe them or agree to come with them. He was actually positive that you would, in fact, tell them to fuck off. But the fact that you were now here told him you were weak, pathetic even. You would’ve gone with any stranger that told you their sob story. Or at least, that’s what he thought. 

The second Yoongi found out about the young girl, a natural born, that was just like them, he wanted to believe it wasn’t true. What he had found in these six other men, was something he had never felt before. He felt like he was home when he was with them. Bringing you into the equation would only ruin things, make the others forget about him, love him less. He needed them, and they needed him. They didn’t need you, and he was going to make Namjoon and Seokjin see that, too. They were so adamant on finding you, on making sure Hyunwoo and the others never got their hands on you. But why? What made you so special? Sure, you were female, a rarity when it came to natural borns with near perfect DNA. When it came to natural borns with perfect markers in their DNA, males were much more common. But that didn’t mean they had to go and risk their lives, their safety, for you. He knew Namjoon wouldn’t let up, though. He made it his life mission to help natural borns like themselves, save them from the horrors they had gone through. 

Yoongi was bitter. That much was obvious to anyone in the warehouse. But he also didn’t want to let you destroy the relationship and bond that the seven of them built together. He was going to do everything in his power to make sure you hated it here. Make sure you wanted to leave after he was done with you. He couldn’t watch his family fall apart because of some stranger, all because Namjoon was a martyr by nature. No, he couldn’t allow it. 

But the second he took one look at you, standing outside, wet and bloody, saw the look in your big beautiful eyes as he so heartlessly demanded things from you, he knew he stood no chance. 

To be continued...

A/N: WOO! All the boys have been introduced, but we still need to meet two of them. Let me know what you thought! My asks are always open. I also have character sheets for all the boys and YN if you want to know specifics about them. I love hearing from you guys! 

xx Des

taglist: @minifruity​  @mrcleanheichou @arantxaglz​ 

copyright aliendes 2020

[ry-ders]

The height difference.........

[ohblackdiamond]

curved air (ace/peter, nc-17)

They didn’t do it every single night on tour. Just a lot of nights. Peter wasn’t even sure when it had started—it had to have been early on, when they were still sharing rooms. But at some point, years ago, he and Ace and Paul had started showering together after the show.

Notes: For @planet-neun. Merry Christmas, and I’m sorry I’m a day late, as usual!

It had been a brilliant show. 

Even now, a month into the reunion tour, Peter couldn’t quite believe how brilliant. How invigorating. How many people. The kids—kids younger than Jennilee, out there on their dads’ shoulders, wearing their makeup. The college girls, their hair and clothes so different from all those years prior, but their wants the same as ever—he wasn’t as interested in them as he used to be, but it was still a thrill just to see them there. Five or six of them had tossed bras up at the stage, and Gene and Paul had collected them like trophies, gleefully hooking them to their mic stands during the show. Like they’d never seen them before, when Peter knew they had. Gene had even brought the bra with the biggest cups backstage, half-jokingly telling a roadie to find the owner, like a demented version of Cinderella’s glass slipper.

The want was more exciting than the money. Seeing so many peoples’ faces lighting up. No one had wanted to see him in so long. He remembered the clubs and bars he’d been reduced to. Even when he’d been on tour with Ace last year, the crowds were nothing, less than nothing, in comparison. Almost no one had asked for his autograph in years, outside of the convention circuit, and now—

It was surreal. A second shot. He wouldn’t waste it. He couldn’t.

The one thing he’d been scared would hold him back wasn’t yet. The pain in his arms hadn’t been bad enough to affect his performances. He was trying, desperately, to prevent it however he could. He’d started dipping his arms in big bowls of ice immediately after getting off the stage. He had all sorts of wraps, too. None of the cortisone injections like he’d had in the seventies. The idea was, these days, to try to treat the pain and stiffness as naturally as possible, and he hoped to limit himself to over-the-counter anti-inflammatories, if he had to take anything. He’d be really careful.

His arms were still a bit pink from the ice. He rubbed at them absently, rolling up the sleeves of his bathrobe. He hadn’t stripped out of the costume and paint yet, the sweat making both stick to him like a second skin. He was waiting. Next to him, leaning against the wall and nursing a can of what Peter hoped was actually Pepsi, Ace was, too.

“Where’s Paul?” Ace asked. Peter had only seen him backstage briefly after the show. Gene was gone, too, but that was expected; he’d always head straight back to the hotel to bang groupies. He’d never been part of their post-concert routine. “Isn’t he hanging around?”

“I thought I saw him talking to Pam earlier.”

“That’s been at least fifteen minutes.” Ace hesitated, rubbing at his mouth with the back of his hand. Peter watched him blink at the black lipstick smear left on his skin, then laugh quietly, almost to himself. “She didn’t look too thrilled.”

That was an understatement. Paul’s wife had looked mildly humiliated after every concert so far.

“He’s probably cheating on her.”

“Fuck, he’s been cheating on her. But now he’s got lots better pickings than he used to.” Ace put his finger to his lips again, smudging away the lipstick at the cener. “’S different.”

“Cheating’s cheating.”

“Nah, man, I mean… he’s different, we’re different.” Ace took a swallow of his drink. Peter stepped up closer, trying to get a whiff of what was in the can without being obvious about it. Ace needed to knock it off. For Monique’s sake if not for his own. Keep his addictions more than an arm’s length away. Pete had done it more than ten years ago now. But Ace just seemed to keep on and keep on. It felt worse now than it used to, now that he saw him every day. It was like watching a man drown in an inch of water. “It’s not just the crowds. The show makes us different.”

“What do you mean?”

“You think Paulie’d be smacking his own ass onstage if he didn’t have the paint on?” Ace didn’t give him a chance to respond. “Nah. Pam’s not, y’know, used to that side of him.”

“The only side I see of him onstage is his ass. He’s not turning around like he used to.”

“Aw, Petey. Lemme make it up to you.”

Ace set the drink down on the table. Peter grabbed it, taking a sip, relieved when the only thing he tasted was Pepsi. Ace’s expression was unreadable at first, before the right side of his mouth raised up just slightly in a smile.

“I ain’t doing so bad. I promise. You wanna wait on him?”

It took a second before Peter realized what Ace meant. He hesitated, uncertain. If Paul and Pam were really having a row, Paul wouldn’t be back, ritual be damned. Part of him wanted to wait despite that. The rest of him wanted to step out of his sweaty spandex as soon as possible.

“Let’s just go. Any longer and this shit’ll be glued to my skin.”

“Wouldn’t be that bad a look,” Ace said, and clapped an arm around his shoulder. “C’mon.”

--

They didn’t do it every single night on tour. Just a lot of nights. Peter wasn’t even sure when it had started—it had to have been early on, when they were still sharing rooms. But at some point, years ago, he and Ace and Paul had started showering together after the show.

It would get pretty stupid. They’d done all sorts of comparisons on each others’ dicks, hard and flaccid. Soap-dropping. Smacking each other with washcloths. And they’d fooled around—sure, they’d all fooled around. It was if the shower was just another barrier to the real world. Like the inverse of Superman’s phone booth. Painted monsters coming in, regular guys coming out, with no one aware of the process in-between.

Peter had been surprised when the band showers resumed. Thought Paul would demure out of ego, not wanting the other two to see him stripped bare sixteen years on. But he’d been all for it. They hadn’t screwed around, just teased each other about the gut that those workout regimens hadn’t gotten rid of, but that was all right. It was fun. Reassuring. It felt good to know there was still a piece of the old times that really was just for them, a piece that had nothing to do with summoning up someone else’s nostalgia. It felt really good.

They’d usually use the showers by the dressing room, rather than the hotel. Ace would step in first, tinkering with the temperature, and then Peter, with Paul following behind. Twenty minutes easy of soaping up and shooting the shit. Which reminded Peter—

“You bring a pack of razors?”

“Said they’re in the shower.” Ace crooked another small grin. “They got everything ready for us right here whether we used ’em or not. Even the cold cream. Rider’s a mile long.”

“I can’t remember the last time I had a rider worth anything.”

“I can.” The velcro made an almost itchy sound as Ace, as blase about nudity as ever, peeled away the vest of his costume, tossing it on a chair for wardrobe to gather up later before starting on his boots, socks, and the leotard beneath. Wardrobe. They actually had wardrobe. A month in and it was still unbelievable. Peter inhaled sharply, then tugged off his shoes and socks, his bullet-belt of a vest. Stepped out of the leotard. The relief was almost instant, the cool air a balm on his sticky skin as they padded barefoot to the shower. “Last time I was with you.”

--

They really did have the cold cream there in a huge, personalized caddy in each shower stall. Had regular makeup removal wipes, too, and a fat stack of white towels of various sizes. Six different shampoos. Body wash. Acne cleanser. Bar soap. Loofahs. Razors. Condoms. Lube. God, and this wasn’t even the hotel. They didn’t even know whether KISS would even use the showers on-premises. He would’ve expected all this excess sixteen years ago. Now, it never failed to impress him. Never failed at all.

He picked up a washcloth and the cold cream out of habit and preference, unscrewing the jar and taking it with him back to the sink. One illusion he could take care of pretty quickly. He could hear Ace turning on the shower, and he waited, half-expecting Ace to call him in, but he didn’t. Instead, Ace headed over to the sink just as Peter dipped his fingers into the thick cream.

“Hold on, man.”

“What for?”

“Lemme give you a hand.” Ace scooped up some of the cream and started to spread it across Peter’s face. Messy dollops on his forehead, cheeks, and chin, before Ace rubbed it in properly with his fingers, the cream smearing away the paint, gradually exposing his skin. Ace smiled a little bit as he traced the tips of his fingers against Peter’s cheeks, turning the whiskers into smudged, blotchy ovals, and then nothing at all.

“Paint doesn’t hide as much as I thought it did,” Peter said dryly, after a glance in the mirror. Ace was still working on getting rid of the makeup, casually, slowly.

“You still look pretty good under there, y’know.”

“I’m fifty.”

“We can round down.” Ace took the washcloth, wet it, and wiped away the excess on his cheeks. “Close your eyes for me.”

Peter did. A second and Ace’s cream-coated fingers were carefully rubbing at the paint on his eyelids, spreading it out and up, towards his eyebrows and forehead.

“I never thought I’d be back to doing this at fifty. It’s… it’s far out, isn’t it? I still can’t believe it.” If the outdated turn of phrase bothered Ace any, he didn’t say anything, and Peter could feel the cloth against his eyelids next, just as gentle. “I can’t talk about it with Gene and Paul. They don’t get it.”

“They get it a lot better than you think.”

“Nah, nah. They…” Peter trailed, trying to come up with the right words as Ace kept wiping away his makeup. He wasn’t even mad at the other two for not getting it. He just wanted to explain. “They’ve been in that world so long. They dunno what it’s like to be down to nothing.”

“They’ve got a good idea. Maybe it was worse for them.”

“Worse? Are you serious? Come off it, Ace, they’re neck-deep in Hollywood bullshit and yes-men, they never—”

“This wasn’t just our last chance, Petey. It was theirs, too.” Ace didn’t elaborate any further. Peter opened his eyes, and saw Ace rinsing off the washcloth in the tap. The remnants of cream mixed with black greasepaint left a gray streak in the sink. 

“I’ll get your makeup for you, Ace.”

“S’okay, I’ll get it.”

“No, I--”

“Don’t want you holding your arms up anymore than you gotta.”

A slight warmth started up somewhere in Peter’s stomach as he shook his head.

“It’s not so bad. Nothing like it used to be. C’mon, let me.”

Ace bit his lip, then nodded.

“Okay. But in the shower, yeah? There’s something else I wanna get up to.”

--

He tried to be careful, taking Ace’s makeup off. Ace was still mixing up some kind of powder for the silver starbursts, one that bothered his eyes. The cold cream almost melted between his fingers from the steam of the shower before he could even get it on Ace’s face, sliding off easily. He didn’t look so bad under the greasepaint. Not so bad at all, but there was a tiredness along with that old eerie awareness now. It was too early in the tour for Ace to be tired. Too early for Ace to be worried.

Peter kissed him as soon as the last remnants of makeup were washed away, on down to the lipstick. Ace returned the kiss almost immediately, looping an arm around him, pulling him close. They lingered like that awhile, under the spray of the shower, quiet and warm and wet. Then Ace, less lethargic and lackadaisical than usual, mouthed along his throat while his hand reached for Peter’s dick.

“Takes longer than it used to,” Peter warned, as if it’d really been that long since they’d last messed around. Maybe it’d been years since the last shower ritual had ended in handjobs and blowjobs, but it hadn’t been more than three days since the last time Ace’s body had ended up against his. Ace just winked.

“I got the time if you got the money, Cat.”

His hand was familiar. It felt the same as ever wrapped around his cock, pumping absently. Only the backdrop was different. Peter grunted, let Ace slowly ease him backwards until he felt the cool wall tile against his skin. His breath hitched as Ace worked him up to full attention. No hurry. Never any hurry. Not even in those shitty motels from ’74, the ones that ran out of hot water less than five minutes in. He and Paul would hop out, cursing and shivering, but Ace would just cackle once it turned cold. He acted like they always had all the time in the world to come.

The onslaught of water wasn’t direct now, just stray droplets amid the steam. Ace’s grip slacked off almost as abruptly as it had begun, as he sunk down to his knees in front of him, hands tracing his thighs.

He’d watched Ace take him in hundreds of times before. More times than he’d watched Ace’s knees buckle to the floor during the show. Down-down-down. It didn’t mean anything there. It meant something here, here in this in-between space, where all the magic of spandex and greasepaint faded and left them as they were, flawed and ordinary. It always would.

Peter’s hands found Ace’s soaked hair, pushing the wet strands back from his face. He closed his eyes again, and smiled.