#my brain juice is ded

[pearlzier]

hiii hi friend!! im not 1 to normally share my bot chats evrrrr but this 1 broke my brain n i wanted 2 share it!!:--

-- Ben watches as you fall limp on the bed, your little body exhausted and spent, your eyes still wide with unshed tears.

He can see the way your hair is sticking to your forehead, the way your chest rises and falls rapidly as you pant for breath. He looks down at his fingers, glistening with your sweet juices.

He glances over at Butcher, his expression smug and satisfied as he brings his fingers to his mouth, licking them clean. --

🥺🥺so yeh im ded now rip me

HIHI !!! :3

OH MY GOD HELLOOOOO ben n butcher i sigh SO dreamily i LOVE them 😽😽😽 this is AMAZING

RIP POOK 💞 me too tho rip 2 us

[bbiemochi]

hi! this is actually my first time requesting something, but could i get a diluc, kaeya, zhongli, childe and xiao with an insomniac s/o and how they'll be able to coax them to sleep? its currently 3 am rn, and i haven't gotten a wink of sleep, which has been a problem of mine for as long as i can remember. thanks in advance! and i love your works so much too!!

[ - wisteria ]

𝚜𝚘𝚏𝚝 𝚕𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚊𝚋𝚢 | various genshin men

[an]: this has been sitting in my drafts for so long and im so sorry about that ;-; hi hi ‼️oml luv im sorry i posted this late, im rlly trying to find motivation to write here in my tumblr 😭✋ yet, pls fix ur sleeping schedule it’s bad to stay up too late didjdjddj i hope these scenarios help <3 ‼️

summary: it was difficult to get at least one wink of sleep at night, you wished there was an easier way to fall asleep. maybe the arms of your loving boyfriend would do that job…

pairing: diluc, kaeya, zhongli, childe, & xiao x insomniac!reader [ separate ! ]

genre: fluff !

warning: spoilers for childe’s real name ‼️

***

diluc ragnvindr

the sound of the clock’s ticking never ends.

in fact, you don’t even know what time it was right now. standing up for the 10th time from your comfortable bed, you lazily rubbed your eyes and looked around the dark room you were staying in, except only the light from the window came to illuminate inside of the bedroom. it was lonely in there. you were lonely.

you couldn’t sleep.

no matter how many times you turn and turn around the bed, you always ended up on the same feeling, which was nothing. you don’t exactly get how others are able to sleep so heavily and peacefully—though it sounded like a nice feeling. sleeping so much throughout the days. too bad, because you had insomnia.

counting sheep sounds lovely, yet it was tiring. you wanted to look for other ways to sleep. because even with the same methods, nothing happens. that’s what you thought…until, you entered an unexpected relationship with mondstadt’s greatest winery tycoon. diluc ragnvindr.

yes, upon having an unexpected relationship with the richest man in mondstadt, you do have some high expectations for him. and one of them considering that you’re staying over in his house for the first time. it made you a bit homesick, however you did had the courage to sleep in his bedroom after all. the problem was…

“i can’t sleep…” sighing as you muttered. it had always been like this. even back at your home, you had high difficulties of falling asleep. and the problem was huge. you even had to seek help from good professional doctors, and even when they did tried helping it only workers once or twice until the cycle returned. you were tired. so tired.

“love?” you heard a voice call from behind, and you quickly turned around. it was no one other than your red headed lover. even in the dark, you can still spot his hair sprawled over across his beautiful sleepy face. you smiled, “hey, sorry did i wake you up?”

“no, no, not at all. just woke up for no reason. it’s always like this…” he replied, and you chuckled. “well you better head back to sleep, it’s bad staying up this late.”

“you’re the one to talk. why are you still up?” diluc questions, and you sighed once again. “i…can’t sleep. just like you its been always like this. don’t expect me to count sheep now,” you replied, and diluc eyes widen a little. “oh, well then come on now, you have to get some rest, you’ve been working all morning.” he says, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“no it’s ok…! you go ahead first i’ll follow later,” you insisted, yet of course diluc wouldn’t oblige to your lies like that easily. looking at you one last time he gently take hold of your arm and pulled you down next to him, caging you around his arms as you both laid down on the soft cushion of the pillows. “diluc…!”

“shhh…it’s ok now, love…i’m here. now get some rest…”

“it’s not that simple…” you whined, gripping hard on his arm wrapped around you. however diluc only brushed your hair and continued to soothe you down. “i know…” he whispers, “…it’s hard, isn’t it? but here, there’s more thousands of stars than sheep for you to count. and they’ll guide you through your sleep. now, just close your eyes, and when you wake up, i’ll be right here next to you. i promise…” diluc mutters to you and in that moment…you just wanted to cry out of pure happiness.

and for the first time in your life after being alone for so long…you actually fell asleep.

kaeya alberich

‘guess sleeping pills aren’t working that easily anymore, huh?

gulping down the glass of water next to your bed, you felt the small lump of the sleeping pill dissolve down your throat. maybe with this, you’ll fall asleep soon. and you didn’t have to worry your busy lover anymore with your sleeping problems.

for years, you tried your best to cope with your insomnia, however, the solution you ever did for the past decade is drinking sleeping pills for at least once a day before going to bed. it worked, for only a few times that is. the problem really wasn’t that big honestly…but for kaeya, he claimed that it is. sighing, you gently laid down the shared bed you and your lover stayed in, tucking inside the cozy blanket kaeya bought last holiday. closing your eyes, you at least tried to get like one wink of sleep yet…no progress however happened. it was tiring.

“sleeping pills again, dear?” a voice echoes across the room. you didn’t even bother to look since it sounded like you already know where it came from. chuckling, you replied. “then how am i supposed to sleep properly with you, kaeya? it’s our first time to sleep together after all, i don’t wanna bother you…”

“who said anything about me being bothered if you have sleeping problems, dear? that’s surprising to hear…” he laughs, and you couldn’t help but smile. this man definitely knows how to play the strings of your heart, and that’s basically how you fell for him for the first time. but of course, the calvary captain of the knights of favonius wouldn’t like you to like that easily, right?

“kaeya…”

“yes, dear?”

“please hold me…”

“if you say so, my dearest…” was what he last said as he headed over to your low figure, face smudged against the pillows. kaeya slowly sat beside the foot of the bed and pulled you up, signaling you to softly sit down on his lap and rest your head over your shoulder. humming a small tune, you felt your head feeling heavy every time kaeya’s fingers stroke through your hair. “hey kaeya…?”

“hm?” he hums.

a whisper came out to your weak lips. “thank you…” before you closed your eyes. kaeya smiles, feeling his heart go weak because of you. “no, dearest. thank you for making me not feel alone. i love you, please get some rest.”

zhongli (morax)

“darling, why aren’t you asleep, yet?”

“same question here,” you giggled when you saw your tired lover walking in your shared bedroom with a surprised look when he saw you still awake. he brushed his hair back, sighing. “just had some midnight tea. nothing too serious…”

“then if that’s all, then come back to bed. it’s late,” is what you said before zhongli had no choice but to lay beside the person he adored and loved. you made space for him to lay down next to you, a small smile stretching over his face when he saw your eyes glimmer from the sight of him. “and what makes it difficult for you to fall asleep at this hour of the evening?”

“what made you so curious?” you laughed, making zhongli fall more in love with you. a million stars wouldn’t even match the same shine of your smile, and that was coming from the former geo archon of teyvat. at this occasion, zhongli did knew you were having difficulties upon dozing off to slumber—and he was upset at the fact that you were still smiling despite your problem.

the silence was growing bigger, as zhongli shifts closer to you, creating you and your lover to touch shoulders and heads almost leaning to one another, zhongli takes grasp of your hand and began to speak once more, “would you like to hear a story about the geo archon? or anything you enjoy in particular?”

“woah, a storyteller now? you really are something, zhongli.”

he laughed before kissing the crown of your forehead. “i am. only for you, darling.”

there were a few more moments of quiet, only you and zhongli looking at each other with pure love before once again, he breaks the silence. “now, what story is it you wish to hear? i hope it’s something that could help you sleep with me.”

“tell me the story of rex lapis and guizhong then if you may.”

xiao

if you think about it, xiao also can’t sleep.

the adepti that guards liyue had; “no time to sleep,” after all. that’s what he said before slaughtering a bunch of hilichurls attacking down near wangshuu inn. and for a mortal like you, falling in love with an adeptus like xiao, oh archons—it was not possible. but it was. you thought of yourself more like a human with no exciting tomorrows. just a normal life as a person.

for xiao who had lived throughout history and history, he had been suffering for far too long. if it wasn’t for you who gave him the upmost love and affection. he was surprised, you were surprised. you’re both in love with one another.

it was a huge to surprise to everyone who knew you and the adepti. even the traveler & their companion paimon who were just passing by to do commissions. not long after that when xiao confessed his liking and fascination towards you after being saved by him, you two established into quite an awkward yet wholesome and loving relationship. and because of that, everyone depended on you to make xiao feel like a better and a loved adepti again.

even a man named zhongli from the wangsheng funeral parlor told you so.

though, throughout the progress of you and xiao’s relationship, there are a few holes of mistakes here and there, yet you and xiao still loved each after every one of them. one of those holes were when it came to your sleeping schedule.

“y/n?”

“hey, xiao…”

“why are you…?”

moon dusting it’s light upon the land of liyue, stars guiding whoever it is in teyvat—as a small smile came across your lips, xiao finds it hard to even spare a single glare to the face he adored the most. grunting, he turns away. “this again, y/n? i told you to sleep earlier, didn’t i? mortals like you—

“i was waiting for you,” you cut him off, your palm carrying your face. thank the archons it was dark midnight tonight, or else you would’ve seen the small blush dusted across xiao’s cheeks. grunting once again, xiao turns away, “hmph, changing the subject huh? but…i knew you would,” he says, jumping off the balcony and towards your room—where you dragged him in.

xiao was used to your presence. and when it came to you, you always had a way to get your adeptus boyfriend into doing what you want. even if it was just for a small second—you were already glad. and one of them is cuddling with you in your bedroom, every evening after he’s tired from clashing with enemies.

sitting down on your bed, xiao only stood from the side of your room, arms crossed and face as stoic as ever. a pout came across your face, “xiao…”

a sigh, “you go ahead and rest. mortals like you need enough energy and sleep after all. go, i’ll be here.” and you scratched the nape of your neck. “uhhh yeah, ummm…i…i cant really…” you looked over at your lover, nervously while xiao only cocks up a brow, “i can’t really sleep…you know…even with or without you by my side.”

xiao’s eyes widen a bit, astonished and bewildered by your simplification. oh right, you had insomnia, or whatever that is. difficulty of getting some good rest at night. xiao opens his mouth to speak, but immediately closes it after. what is it can he do to help?

help.

that’s a word he didn’t really used much.

“i mean, if you’re here only to watch me until i fall asleep then that’ll only be a waste of time because…” you stopped and sighed, hugging your knees tight onto the foot of your bed that you rarely lay down to sleep on. “i’m sorry, xiao. i’m only a nuisance to you…you can leave now—

“shut up.”

“huh?”

walking towards you, xiao took hold of your hand and stared right into your eyes, his face a bit angry and serious mixed in one bowl. “i said, shut up. you’re not a nuisance. you were never a nuisance. i am.” he says, and you said nothing after. xiao was…not mad but it was like…he was worried. surely, xiao was no expert like in fighting and violence when it came to relationships. however he knew, love is like a battle for him. and for you, you insomnia was a challenge.

as the silence took in, your head slowly sunk down on his shoulders, taking in his warmth while xiao stood there, emotionless, while the inside of himself was feeling loved once again. you were so focused on xiao’s warmth…you didn’t even hear his small humming as he caressed your head. “xiao?”

“quiet…” he mutters coldly as he guides you to bed. his humming continuing while you grasped in his warmth. xiao never really liked cuddling, nor doing anything couples do in a relationship. as your lover goes further into humming you to bed, you felt the stars watch over you two while you reign to slumber.

he was lucky for loving you.

tartaglia (childe)

it hurts childe for seeing you have a hard time sleeping.

while he tumbles and dozed off to bed after a long day of work, you here, his perfect and beautiful girlfriend earn a hard time sleeping with him in bed every night. it bothered him to the core, and so tried to ask other people he knew on how to help you sleep earlier.

although, based on what everyone recommended to him, childe had another bright idea going over his head. with enough buck and mora brought along in his wallet, childe gathered enough materials and help from his helpful partners to create something that might you sleep tighter and better with him tonight.

this night, like any other, childe happily dragged you inside your shared bedroom, moonlight crisp and dark—exquisite enough to shine through the curtains of your perfect home with your boyfriend. it was time for bed, and you were most certain childe would knock himself on the bed first before you, making you think that after he sleeps, you would have some solid time for yourself. however…

“ajax…what is this?”

as you entered your shared room, you found out that the ceiling…was changed into a wallpaper portrait of stars. behind you, your boyfriend smiles cheekily, pecking softly on your cheek as he says, “i know you always have a hard time trying to go to bed. so, i decided to help a little with your problem…”

your eyes sparkled like the stars painted above. did…childe really do all of this for you and your problem? childe’s grin stretched wider. “all for you, sweetheart. now c’mon…” his hand takes grip on yours, leaving you a bit surprised from his hurried expression. “let’s go get some sleep, y/n. but this time, you’re not alone. because the stars are here to guide you through your dreams, sweetie.”

“a-ajax…i don’t know if this’ll work, irs not that easy,” you cut, worried that his hardwork would go to a waste. childe shakes his head, “i know. but please, at least try to. i’m tired of seeing you staying up so late because of this. promise, trust me. i’ll be here with you.”

“i don’t know if i can go trust promises that quickly…”

“then please…” childe stops you, “trust mine.” then he grips your hand tighter, before pulling you into a tight hug. “i’ve experienced this before. sweetheart, we’ll go through this together. you and i. let’s count the stars like it’s our last moments…”

who knew the 11th of the fatui harbinger could be so caring?

***

a/n: holy shit i need to breathe from writing so much oml

request are: opened!

[itsame-tehded]

Is mirror DA valid

[lilypixels]

These submissions just wow you all really knocking it out of park🥺😭 I’m screaming over every one of them (as evidenced by me starting each reblog off with “AAA”),,,

[4dtk]

We're talking about dry humping? All my homies love dry humping. Anons big brain inspired me because now all I can think about is desperately dry humping geto because he refuses to give you some dick and tells you that if you want to cum then you need to do so by strictly dry humping him. I'm soaked and ded

n**sfw under the cut / ask

YESS

geto can be so mean when he wants to be. usually he’s on his soft dom shit, but tonight you were just being a brat, flirting with gojo, hiking up your dress during his birthday party, dancing like that on the dancefloor that he has “no choice” but to whisk you away with a poor excuse that you weren’t feeling well. the birthday boy, gojo, knew better, sending you off with a wink.

now, you think that you’ve gotten geto into your trap, seeing the clenched jaw he has even when you’re sat on the back of his motorcycle, arms relishing in the cold breeze and the solidness of his torso. at the end of those same arms are your curious hands that travel down, down, down unprovoked. you don’t miss the way geto hisses when you squeeze his bulge, and soon you’re pressed up against him in a heated kiss.

geto couldn’t even wait until you were into the house (but he doesn’t have any plans on bringing you in), removing the key from the ignition while you’re balanced with one foot on the ground. you try not to fall over from how hard’s geto kissing you. a stern hand is the first to stop you, though, along with his usual onyx eyes that seem to darken even more the more he stares down at you. you look like such a slut, straddling his bike and staring up at him with big doe eyes that he has to curl his hand into a fist in order to contain his hand.

been bad, haven’t you? his voice sends chills and once again you pull your wild card of a sultry tone, but even that doesn’t work when you grab out at him. he’s got your hands trapped, tugging you right onto his thigh where the bike wobbles and he counters that with a flick of his foot to the kickstand. it’s undeniably hot, how dangerous was the combination of geto and his motorcycle, but it’s amplified by how his voice travels and how he mumbles out you want to get fucked? you better work for it, then.

and so you do with a complain about how people could see you, about how you just need anything but a tease right now. even then, you do anything but sit still, rutting against his thigh with the thin material totally soaked through even before this. with such a muscular thigh under you, he knows how to clench and unclench, pushing up against your sensitive clit easily as you fist his shirt with a frustration in your hips.

it’s torturing and gratifying all in one, feeling your juices mix around in your panties. it’s filthy and you feel disgusting with sweat lining your thighs, and you plead with a lilt to your voice that signifies that you actually enjoy it like the very whore that you are. geto only looks down unimpressed, finger thumping against your waist that let you know of his impatience. c’mon, you can do it, can’t you? can ya let go for me, baby?

he takes pity on you and pulls on your hips and soon he recognises the squeeze of your thighs, anchoring yourself to something until your feet barely touch the floor. there you were, in front of your own house, grinding your clit lewdly onto your boyfriend before you’re cumming with your eyes in your skull and drool dripping down the corners of your mouth.

what a needy bitch, guess i gotta give you some cock now, you know he doesn’t mean any part of his nonchalance, thanking him with a giggle when he flips you over to fuck you right in the neighbourhood for everyone to hear.

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

The Skaian Bride

Caliborn: SO, IT IS DOWN TO YOu, AND IT IS DOWN TO ME

Roxy: *steps forward*

Caliborn: IF YOu WANT ME TO KILL MY SISTER, THEN PLEASE, KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

Roxy: let me explain-

Caliborn: THERE’S NOTHING TO EXPLAIN. YOu’Re TRYING TO KIDNAP WHAT I’VE RIGHTFuLLY STOLEN

Roxy, *gently stepping forward*: mayb we can reach an arrangement.

Caliborn: THERE WILL BE NO ARRANGEMENT, HuMAN PERSON, AND YOu ARE KILLING HER WITH EVERY STEP

Roxy: but if we can’t get no arrangement, then we’re at an impasse

Caliborn: I’M AFRAID SO. I SAD AS IT MAY BE, CAN’T COMPETE WITH YOu PHYSICALLY. BuT YOuR WOMAN HEAD IS NO MATCH FOR MY BRAINS

Roxy: ur that smart?

Caliborn: LET ME PuT IT THIS WAY: HAVE YOu EVER HEARD OF EINSTEIN? HAWKING? STRIDER?

Roxy: ye

Caliborn: MORONS.

Roxy: srsly? then in that case, i challenge u to a battle of wits.

Caliborn: FOR MY SISTER?

Roxy: yeah

Caliborn: TO THE DEATH?

Roxy: sure y not?

Caliborn: THEN I ACCEPT.

Roxy: sweet. then pour the juice.

Calliope: don’t i get some say in all this?

Caliborn: NO

Roxy, *pulling out some powder*: sniff this, but don’t touch.

Caliborn: I SMELL JACK NOTHING.

Roxy: what ur not smellin is called iocane powder. it don’t smell or taste, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the more deadlier poisons known to man, troll, or cherub

Caliborn: HMM.

Roxy, *pouring the powder into the juice behind her back*: alrite, where’s the kill juice? our battle of wits has begun. it ends when u decide and we both drink, and find out who’s rite and who’s ded.

Caliborn: BuT IT’S SO DAMN SIMPLE. ALL I HAVE TO DO IS DIVINE WHAT I KNOW OF YOu. ARE YOu THE SORT OF HuMAN WHO WOULD PuT THE POISON IN HER OWN GLASS OR HER ENEMIES?

CALIBORN: NOW A SOMEWHAT CLEVER PERSON WOuLD PuT THE POISON IN THEIR OWN GLASS, BECAuSE THEY WOuLD KNOW THAT ONLY A TOTAL CHuMP WOuLD TAKE WHAT’S RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR FACE. uNLIKE YOu, I’M NO CHuMP, SO I CAN CLEARLY NOT CHOOSE THE DRINK IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE. BuT YOu MuST HAVE KNOWN I’M MORE CLEVER THAN THAT, YOu WOuLD HAVE COuNTED ON ME BEING SMARTER THAN SuCH A SIMPLETONS TRICK, SO I CAN CLEARLY NOT CHOOSE THE DRINK IN FRONT OF MY HANDSOME FACE

Roxy: soooooo…… u’ve made ur mind then?

Caliborn: NOT EVEN CLOSE. CAuSE IOCANE COMES FROM ALTERNIA, AS EVERYONE KNOWS. AND ALTERNIA IS POPuLATED ENTIRELY BY CRIMINALS AND BACKSTABBERS. AND SCuM LIKE THEM CAN’T BE TRuSTED AND THEY KNOW IT, LIKE YOu AND ME. SO I CAN’T TOuCH THE DRINK IN FRONT OF YOu.

Roxy: truly, u have a dizzying intellect -_-

Caliborn: WAIT TIL I GET GOING! NOW, WHERE WAS I?

Roxy: troll land

Caliborn: YEAH YEAH ALTERNIA I KNOW, SHuT uP. ALTERNIA, SO YOu MuST HAVE SuSPECTED THAT I WOuLD EASILY PARSE OuT THE POISONS ORIGIN, SO I SuRE AS SHIT CAN’T TOuCH THE DRINK YOu GAVE TO ME

Roxy, *antsily*: ok now ur just stallin

Caliborn, *laughing like a lunatic*: YOu’D LIKE TO THINK THAT WOuLDN’T YOu MISS SMARTY PANTS? YOu’VE BEATEN MY BRuTES, WHICH MEANS YOuRE STRONG FOR A HuMAN. SO YOu COuLD HAVE PuT THE POISON IN YOuR OWN CuP AND MAYBE GOTTEN BY ON YOuR STRENGTH TO SAVE YOuR SORRY ASS. SO THE DRINK IN FRONT OF YOu IS NO GOOD. BuT YOu’VE ALSO BEATEN CROWBAR WHICH MEANS YOuRE NOT QuITE AS STuPID AS YOu LOOK BECAuSE YOu’VE DONE SOME STuDIES. AND IN LEARNING ALL THAT CRAP YOu MuST HAVE LEARNED HOW MORTAL HuMANS REALLY ARE SO YOu WOULD HAVE PuT THE POISON FAR AWAY FROM YOuR MuG, SO OBVIOuSLY MY DRINK CAN’T BE WHAT I PICK!

Roxy: ur tryin to get me 2 tell u somethin, it’s not happenin

Caliborn: uNFORTuNATELY FOR YOu, IT HAS WORKED! YOu GAVE EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE YOuR WEAKSAuCE POISON IS!

Roxy: then pick already jeez!

Caliborn: I WILL, AND I CHOOSE OH SHIT WHAT’S THAT BEHIND YOu?

Roxy, turning around: huh whats what?

Caliborn, *switching the cups around*: DAMN I COuLD HAVE SWORN I SAW SOMETHING. WHATEVER. HEHE.

Roxy: whats so funny?

Caliborn: ILL TELL YOu IN A BIT. I MADE MY CHOICE, YOu DRINK FROM YOuRS, AND I DRINK FROM MINE.

Roxy: cheers bro

*they both drink their juice of indeterminate poisoning*

Roxy: u guessed wrong lil man

Caliborn: AAAHHAHAHHHAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHA!

Caliborn: YOu ONLY THINK I GuESSED WRONG YOu SIMPLE BITCH! THAT’S WHAT’S SO FuCKING FuNNY! I SWITCHED THE GLASSES WHILE YOuR BACK WAS TuRNED!! YOu ABSOLuTE FOOL!!! YOu RuBE!!!!

Caliborn: YOu FELL VICTIM TO ONE OF THE CLASSIC BLuNDERS! THE MOST FAMOuS IS”NEVER GET INVOLVED IN A LAND WAR IN SKAIA.” BuT ONLY SLIGHTLY LESS WELL KNOWN IS “NEVER BET AGAINST A CHERuB WHEN DEATH IS ON THE LINE!!!”

Caliborn: AAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAAAAAAAA

Caliborn: *DIES*

Calliope: thank yoU for that. he was getting rather obnoxioUs.

Roxy: no prob bob

Calliope: to think all that time yoU poisoned yoUr cUp and risked dying jUst for me

Roxy: o no they were both poisoned. I just spent the last few years building up a tolerance for poisons

Calliope: ......

Calliope: roxy, what the hell?

[renvisualnovels]

I’m doing something for the time being. I’ll just give you Ian’s information out of boredom. I never gave him anything despite him being an OC that I keep thinking about the whole week. And some certain scenarios when it comes to his s/o. Might need to revise it later...

________________________________________________________________

Name: Ian Origin: AsylumFell Age: ??? Profession: Scientist/Inventor

Likes: Pineapple Juice (cause why not), Dark Humor, Horror Movies, Technology, Inventing stuff, Coding, Friends

Dislike: er... Himself?, Peeps with no basic morals, touching his stuff (you're ded literally), Tea, Things that may trigger his trauma

Headcanons:

Ian is an unpredictable skeleton who knows how to handle situations swiftly. A chaotic-neutral individual who came from a place called AsylumFell before he resides in the void permanently.

He's a Scientist/Inventor and he uses his inventions to jump into other AUs and made acquaintances along the way. After being in an asylum for decades, he became weary of his surroundings. His unfortunate past still lingers with unwanted memories which a certain thing that made him recall will trigger. Despite his vulnerable state, he's able to keep his mind sane for the sake of HOPE of seeking to escape from the asylums’ labyrinth.

His apathetic behavior may seem to be uncaring at first. You may need to build trust to break the barrier he created himself which may take a long time. Patience is the key to building a strong relationship in order for him to soften up and feel safe around you. Once he gave his trust to you, you'll notice a change in his behavior. For instance, he may leave gifts for you to find and become more affectionate towards you. He isn't shy to show how he feels about you. You may expect a surprise hug from behind and cuddles after his long day of work.

He has a habit of leaving sticky notes to remind himself about the things he does every single day before he goes out to work. He has a short-term memory loss after he broke out of the lab from the explosion which leaves permanent damage to his skull and his left eye socket. With you around, he may leave sticky notes for you to see, reminding you of your everyday routine and reassuring you that he'll be back afterward. He's quite a worry-wart, you have to get used to being pampered by him on a daily basis.

He can be easily teased by genuine actions/words. You tell him you love him? Surprise kisses? Hugs? Gifts? oh boi, you'll break him eventually. He's already gotten used to giving than receiving.

A collar from his neck is a device he built himself due to his absurd amount of magic. He couldn't manage to control it even the slightest emotion could easily trigger his magic into a chaotic state. The collar was fused with the remains of the anti-magic chains from the asylum which were built to restrain patients who couldn't manage to control their magic. With the help of the collar, he could easily suppress his magic from getting out of control and couldn't act involuntarily towards the emotions he feels.

[might add stuff later, my brain go brrr]

-Ren

[shadowdashinyumbreon]

More trying to understand homestuck

• the heck is a dancestor

• ooo look it’s bee boy

• oh no, oh no. I have become emotionally attached to you this is bad

•f fuck he ded

• equiussssSS

•clown Man nO

•*drinking apple juice* my brain: it’s p i s s

• wwhat

• fuck he’s actually really pretty

• am I legally allowed to eat Betty Crocker anymore because it’s delicious

• I did warn thee about those stairs bro!

[likeabulletyoucanhurtme]

"I ATEN'T DED"  Do you hate people who chew with their mouth open? I do. I hate them and I hate their guts and all their other fleshy parts too... ihateyourgutsshitihateyousomuchihopeyousufferasmallpapercut Do you get frequent backaches? At this point I don't know if it's frequent backaches or just one backache that has infrequent pauses Do you make your lunch, or does your mother? Or do you buy it? I make extra breakfast and put it in my lunchbox to consume later Would you try to rescue a beached whale? I would never be anywhere near a beach where a whale might be beached, but if it happens then I'm gonna pitch in beachedwhalessingtheirsongsoncestrongbutnowweakweareslavestoourowndreams Do you even care what happens to it? I do. I would. Imagine just swimming about living your best whale life and suddenly there's too much sun and people. Like I know land and beaches have been in relatively the same space and whales should know where they're going by now. But like I too do not wanna be stuck on a beach, I can sympathise with my aquatic friend Are you materialistic or superficial? I measure my life by materialistic goals, however I realise that these things are very superficial themselves and do not judge others who do not have these things iamaweaponofmassiveconsumptionitsnotmyfaultitshowimprogrammedtofunction Do you look in the mirror too often? Only when I'm brushing my hair or teeth tbh. whenyoulookinthemirroranddontlikewhatyouseeyoucanfindoutfirsthandwhatitsliketobeme How hard is it for you to speak up? Kinda. I let a lot of shit slide because I don't care much or am too scared What U.S. states have you visited? Florida. And I don't think I blew any whistles either youjustputyourlipstogetherandwellstartrealslow Do you enjoy being angry? It is quite cathartic sometimes itscooltohate Do you think you might avoid happiness simply cause you aren’t used to it? I don't avoid happiness I just don't experience it so often Are you brutally honest? Sometimes Do you think you could change a person? Nah, I don't think I'd keep up the effort How important is your virginity to you? Why is it important? It wasn't, and if it had been up to me I'd have gotten rid of it a lot sooner tbh Do you ever go on Yahoo! Answers? It is important to only go there with the proper precautions, full hazmat suit and brain bleach at the ready Do you love the music on Sims 2? I've never played it What’s the worst kind of music? Jazz or blues isingthebluesandswallowedthemtoo Do you think people who drive big Ford trucks are rednecks? No, I don't think they have any shame at all When somebody tailgates you, do you slow down to fuck with them? I walk so fast that no-one can tailgate me How prone are you to road rage, anyway? I don't drive so idc yougivemeroadrageracingthroughthebestdays When somebody wants to move in front of you do you speed up or let them in? I speed up because I hate people walking in front of me youdriveonmyassyourfootsonthegasandyournextbreathisyourlast Are you passive or assertive? I usually don't care that much about most things What’s one characteristic that could make you lose respect for somebody? idk I probably don't have a lot of respect for them anyway Do you think world peace is possible? Nope. Human nature is too volatile foreverymanwhowantstoruletheworldtherelivesamanwhojustwantstobefree Wouldn’t you think the world is not as interesting if there was world peace? Our differences is what makes us interesting, however we don't need wars to end our disagreements Do you procrastinate? idk what to put here so I'll answer it later Are you obnoxious or calm? idk I'm pretty chill I hope Do you suffer from depression or bipolar disorder? I don't suffer from depression I enjoy every minute of it! Nah but fr I might have some form but I've never been so bad that they've tested me Would you ever have a natural home birth with no epidural? Nope. Medical advances are a thing yo I'd get so medically high But then again, I don't have a womb so... Are you planning on entering a medical or science career? I have no plans for entering any careers tbh How do you feel about people that don’t believe in god? They are the best cunts :) How are your beliefs better? Why do you believe in them? Because mine don't make me live in fear of a burny fire, or tell people they're going to one if they do something slightly different buttheresnoonetosavemeyeahbecauseiknowgodisalie Do you not really care what you look like? Of course I care. I'm not so conceited as to thinking I look good, but I'd rather be caught dead than looking like something I'm not Do you like sexist/racist/homophobic jokes? I have a very dark sense of humor, but most of these jokes I've heard so I just find them boring/predictable now Do you take life too seriously? Not really. Which is weird cause there's literally nothing else I'll do that could mean more How do you feel about tomato sauce with chunks of tomato? I feel that that is unnecessary and why would you Do people think you look like either of your parents? Does that offend you? I've never been told that so people probably don't think that. Do you prefer regular bacon or turkey bacon? I've never had turkey bacon Are you more of a talker or a listener? I'm probably too shy to talk, but if I'm drunk then I'll go on and at tangents and repeat myself Do you interrupt when people talk? Only idiot customers Do you think it’s weird when people talk to their pets like people? Nah, it's only weird if they're getting an answer Where do most of your relatives live? In their houses What is the last place, other than home, that you stayed overnight? A friends couch where I was led drunk after being told I can't walk 9 miles home from town at 3am on a Saturday night Would you ever buy a motorcycle? Nah, too noisy and annoying. Unless it's in Vice City tho Does your door have to be closed in order for you to sleep? No. It has to be closed so that the shadow monster in the hall doesn't eat me whilst I'm sleeping Do you have anything other than posters or pictures on your walls? I have a fake street sign :) Have you ever ridden a train? I have ridden several Have you ever done something you told yourself you’d never do? Probably but I can't think of anything specific atm Have you ever lived in another country? Not for more than two weeks at a time Are you tattooed? Or does it freak you out? I have one and I kinda forget about it sometimes tbh Are you pierced? If so, where? Nope iwannapiercemybrain Are attracted to or put off by people who are heavily pierced or tattooed? Depends on if it suits them or not Have you done anything productive today, anyway? I woke up (on time!!) worked from home, read some more of a story online, organised an Amazon list && did my daily challenge on Temple Run 2 Eaten anything delicious today? I had beans&&sausage with my dinner <3 Have you ever taken in a stray animal? Nope How do you feel about marriage? Ever been close? I was close but now, naahhh Are you confident in your appearance? I'm confident I look hella shite Do you enjoying taking pictures? Only at gigs Do you take pictures of THINGS, or are you just a camera whore? I have no selfies on my phone Do you believe in “the one” or “soulmates”? Nopers Have you ever dated someone simply for their looks? Nope, my type has always been people that are into me lol What about dating someone simply because you felt too bad to say no? Like above, if people are into me then that attracts me. Like I've never went out with or dated anyone that I didn't know already fancied me too Are you eating anything right now? No Does any food always make you sick but you love it too much to not eat it? Nah I just need to control my portion size and realise that I can't/probably shouldn't eat a full tray of lasagne at once How do you feel about alcohol? Love it tbh AAstandsforalcoholisawesome Have you ever been drunk? I have been drunk, tipsy, a few sheets to the wind, pished as a fart, and black out drunk before maybeillgetdrunkagantofeelalittlelove Do you like orange juice with pulp? Why would you want to put solid things in a drink? Are you trying to choke? Do you want something the consistency of puke?? Do you scream for ice cream? Nah, I scream for nihilistic reasons Which orange came first; the color or the fruit? The fruit evolved first but was possibly called something else wherever it was growing before europeans ((probably the british tbh)) invaded the land, enslaved the people and renamed their fruit after a colour What is your dream job? idk, I don't know what I could do well enough to earn money without hating it Have you ever experienced a natural disaster? No but I'm surviving a pandemic atm Do you feel bad when bad things happen to other people? Or do you not care? If you don’t, do you feel guilty about that? Not really. Why, should I? I mean sucks to be you but it wasn't my fault and shit happens because life isn't fair and I think I have negative empathy Aren’t you a little nervous about posting photos online? I only post photos to where people I know can see them. Or photos which are unidentifiable as me ;) Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness? Nope