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the-dyslexic-blogger · 4 years ago

Text

who I copd wif dislexiya.

So I know the title is spelt wrong some of my awful humour hehe. But here you go my experience with having learning difficulties and how it affected me, My mental health and my work.

So as you know I am dyslexic, it took me a lot of courage to make some blogs due to anxiety over spelling. I have an official diagnosis of dyslexia dyspraxia and Dyscalculia. Isn't it funny how all of those are spelt strangely hard for a dyslexic to wright and spell right? Haha yes, it sucks. In fact, I am probably only getting this right because of autocorrect love it. But fun fact I was never officially diagnosed in January of 2020 so all 20 years if my life no one has really supported me in this I knew I struggled with it a lot. No one at my school helped me with it whatsoever. I remember always being told to 'try harder' or 'you're not trying'. I always thought I was lazy or stupid back in primary school my handwriting was awful that was a big problem in my home life my parents and grandparents always told me off for this I a a lot of shit for it I couldn't help it my dyspraxia meant it took me longer to write less like a doctor I still do wright as bad as a doctor probably worse I don't know if a doctor could even read it, I can't half the time. One of the earliest memory's with writing, and handwritten stuff is in year 2 I had homework and my mum and dad kept making me re wright stuff over and over and over again until I got it right it really had a massive effect on my self-esteem and confidence I cried a lot I got it right in the end, But my family I didn't understand I am very surprised that my primary School never picked up on my dyslexic and other issues they didn't help me the only thing they ever did was move me down to year 4 when I was in year 6 for maths cuz I was shit Secondary wasn't much better they only gave me a year or two of English support which did help but not much I was told by them I might be dyslexic but wasn't diagnosed with it which is another very stupid thing. They should have how they didn't pick up on my dyspraxia and Dyscalculia I don't know probably cuz my school was shit and didn't actually care about the students within it well the learning support I got for a few years was amazing she was the most lovely tutor I had it was sad when she left, and I had no further assistance this had a massive effect on me being in the bottom set for every lesson I hated it I was with all the kids who bullied me all the kids who rather sit there take the piss out of anyone who was different and bully them rather than learning. Being dyslexic I needed to concentrate on things, and I only ever wanted to do well in school of course because I wanted to learn this was wrong and that's why I got bullied so much the whole bottom set used to make me feel like shit my mate at the time was in the top set and would go on and on about the grades (because I'm a dinosaur I used a,b and c grading, in fact, one of the last years to use the normal system) and id be getting shit grades, I wasn't getting help for my learning problems. Also I asked her for help with the bullying, and she said she didn't want to get involved not even to talk to her about it, that was an excellent friend so glad we don't talk anymore(Bitch.)

I had little confidence in myself at this point in the year I wasn't smart like my friends, it took me longer to do stuff, so I'm stupid that's what I I always assumed my parents were constantly having a go at me for not doing well in anything I wasn't doing well in sports or academically due to my difficulties, it was tough for me to fit in no one understood.

You know what I used to and still kinda annoys me I feel shit for admitting it when people moan about getting like A's and Cs because I could never get up to that standard and people would complain if they got a c, it would hurt me because I couldn't do it. Once I was sat with my friends, they as on about maths saying how there annoyed they got a high c grade. There was I sat there still with no math GCSE with in fact a shitty f thinking oh wow lucky you got a c.

But that sucked anyways got off-topic so back on topic now sorry about that I don't even remember what I was talking about. #dyslexic moment or it could be my dementia is kicking in. (This part was written by a drunk dino, but I'm keeping it in because why the fuck not.)

The first year of college wasn't too bad it was games design on the computer so didn't actually I have to do much with words. The college didn't know about my disability probably thought I was stupid like I did I still do believe this. Yet, afte the proper diagnosis of my disability, it was better I accept it a lot more than before. Nevertheless, the college was rough until the end where they were like" oh yeah by the way you will never get far without your maths there is no point you being on this course, So we decided to be shitheads and waste a year, oh. Here you go have more trauma and depression byeeeee" so long story short (you've heard this many many times sorry.)

I moved and did software engineering in another college(For 2 years) they also didn't realise I was dyslexic. This was still having a massive effect on my mental state, I was 18 and id be told all my life I was lazy and wasn't trying hard enough, so it would make me feel bad. I realised I mentioned my Dyslexia a lot and mot my other ones but oh well.

Towards the end of my college this tutor, I had come up to me. I said he'd read my assignment it was good. Still, he asked in the most delightful way possible if I was dyslexic as his daughter has it. My written work was much like hers. He got me some help. Sadly this was around the time my mental state got unbearable to attend anymore, so I do still thank that

guy.

Coming to university is something I never thought id do I I always thought my maths work was too shit. I wasn't very confident in getting into uni, but oh well that was me being all negative and having a fuck ton of shit wrong with me. Once I got into this university, I was happy first thing I did in the week was getting a full-on diagnostic of my learning difficulties. As I was fed up of living under the shadows of your not good enough or stuff like this and you're not trying. Also fun fact I have a mental health mentor for my depression and she used to claim that I was lazy and wasn't dyslexic so that was a lot of fun yay... So September I got a appoint for January the wait then I had that and was fully diagnosed with Dyslexia dyspraxia and Dyscalculia. Also doing musical theatre really helped me with my dyspraxia. I never told anyone I was there, but it helped me a lot with my coordination.

For those who don't know what these are you probably know dyslexia but the other two maybe I'm assuming okay (digs hole deeper) imma shut and explain before I dig more of a hole.

Anyways for Dyslexia the definition is "Dyslexia is a learning disorder that involves difficulty reading due to problems identifying speech sounds and learning how they relate to letters and words (decoding). Also called reading disability, Dyslexia affects areas of the brain that process language."

Dyscuaulia on google is explained as "Dyscalculia is a math learning disability that impairs an individual's ability to represent and process numerical magnitude in a typical way. Dyscalculia is sometimes called "number dyslexia" or "math dyslexia." Dyspraxoca is on google is explained as" Developmental coordination disorder (DCD), also known as dyspraxia, is a condition affecting physical coordination. It causes a child to perform less well than expected in daily activities for their age, and appear to move clumsily.

Of course, this is only what google says each person is different and with different symptoms and mild or bad. For example, the guy who interviewed (is it an interview probably not but oh well ) said he was very surprised that no one had picked up on it as my Dyslexia was very bad so was the rest he was very annoyed at all of my schools and colleges so am I if they would have picked upon it I wouldn't have struggled so much and wouldn't be so hard on myself with the fact that I can't write or read. It was a rough upbringing with my parents are always putting pressure on me to achieve when I simply can't do it.

I can't read well or write well it was a very very rough system I still haven't fully accept myself I still don't ask anyone to read my blogs proofread because I don't feel comfortable to do so, I would like to, but they have more important things to do rather than read through

my shitty ass writing.

So there you go another blog that's way longer than it should be. Still, these blogs take a lot of effort it goes from word to grammer.ly to word so it can read it to me then back into Grammarly its a long process but here is the blog about me. There are a lot of famous people with these difficulties a lot more than you realise google it it's interesting and made me feel less alone it's more common than you think my therapist is dyslexic its awesome meeting fellow dyslexics or Dyscalculia or dyspraxias.

I also added some links below for helpful resources for dyslexia dyscalculia and dyspraxia.

Dyslexia

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/dyslexia/living-with/

https://www.nessy.com/uk/teachers/essential-teaching-tips-dyslexia/

dyspraxia

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/developmental-coordination-disorder-dyspraxia-in-adults/

https://dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/dyspraxia-adults/

dyscalculia

https://www.readandspell.com/dyscalculia-in-adults

https://safespot.org.uk/safespotopedia/dyslexia-dyscalculia/

Love Dino the Dyslexic

Blogger xx

#blogs #mental health #dyscalculia #dyslexa #dyspraxic

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