#my autism is diagnosed!
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i feel like i should give some of my characters glasses but thinking about it i don't think any of them would wear glasses. some of them might need them though
#i've already given nate undiagnosed autism i can't give him shitty eyesight as well that would just be grounds for people saying#''kaz this is you''#for the record nate is NOT me he's probably the character i'm least like. that's a fucking lie.#but there are some major differences between us#my autism is diagnosed!#hgfjdkshfg there are more#oh my god speaking of diagnosed autism i'm getting my english diagnosis soon#my autism will finally be bilingual#a joke that is still far too funny to me#persimmon's rambles
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I think something a lot of other people can relate to is the way that you get so conditioned to discomfort that you stop registering it.
I remember sitting at the table with my family, eating dinner as a child. I’d try to eat, because of course I was hungry. But sometimes the flavor or texture was so repugnant that it moved into a category of Not Food.
“Two more bites before you can leave the table.”
“I can’t,” I’d say, trying to explain the impossibility.
But because I was a child they heard, “I won’t,” and made me sit at the table. I’d sit in dull agonized silence, bored and hungry for hours until bedtime when they’d give up. I’d hate myself for not eating and my parents for forcing me to sit there. The few forcefeeding moments ended in vomit.
They’d say, “If you don’t eat this you can’t eat a snack later,” and I moved past trying to communicate my discomfort into accepting that I’d just be hungry.
That state of affairs didn’t last, because my parents realized nothing could force me to eat so they catered to my palate, worrying they’d starve me. But the message stuck. If you can’t do anything about a situation, just accept the suffering.
A few years later my mother called me off the playground to ask, “Are you limping?”
I shrugged. My feet had hurt for a long time, but that was just the way things were now. My mom pulled my socks and shoes off and gasped. The soles of my feet were covered in huge painful planters warts.
“Why didn’t you say anything?!” She demanded but I could only shrug at her. I’d learned a long time ago that saying things about my discomfort didn’t matter, so now I had no words. Sometimes things hurt and sometimes they don’t. I simply accepted and did my best.
Now as an adult trying to learn to improve my own conditions can be hard. If I make food that I can’t eat I’ll force myself to sit at the counter still, full of guilt and self loathing, trying to will myself to eat it.
At first I needed my betrothed to gently take it away to present me with something I could eat. Now on my own I can usually admit that it’s not happening before too long and get something else, but I still feel guilty.
Laying in bed at night waiting for my betrothed to finish getting ready I let out a huge sigh of relief when they turned the lights off.
“Why didn’t you turn them off if they bothered you?” they asked the first time it happened.
“I didn’t even know it was bothering me until it was gone.”
Assessing my physical state now to see if I can improve it is something I’m still relearning but I’m relieved to finally have the space and support to do it.
#ramblies#autism#as an afab kid I didn’t get diagnosed but given my poor social skills and general vibes it’s astonishing I wasn’t#I didn’t learn to implement social masking until way later#also those warts too months to get rid of cause they were too big to burn off#they had to be scraped down slowly after baths#vomiting
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Wait!
Take it.
TAKE IT.
((And a transparent version for you gays <3))
#my art#digital art#art#cute#cartoon#autism#actually autistic#autistic artist#nerodivergent#disability month#autism creature#tbh creature#yippee#autism memes#art meme#the tism is strong this month#pov: you get diagnosed with autism#this is what happened to me fr
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Auctober: Individualism.
This one is late, and I was gonna do the whole month, but let me explain.
This comic is what made me survive October. About a week ago I was forced to go no contact with my entire family, for 2 years, because they couldn’t respect me or my boundaries. I held on to this, my truth, as I struggled to deal with their abuse. Abuse I hadn’t been able to truly recognise until the past 6 months, that all came to a head now.
It has been a… revelation, let’s use that word. It’s been a revelation to realise I’ve grown up in a family I specifically wasn’t allowed to be disabled in. The ableism was so hard core it arcs into ego and narcissism.
I wasn’t allowed to have needs or wants, I was expected to be independent even though it was obvious to everyone outside my family that I needed support, and help. And if I wasn’t, I was shamed, controlled, ignored, dismissed, invalidated.
And while the pain of going no contact with those I truly, honestly believed supported me the most has threatened to bury me, I now hold onto my self. I hope and trust that there’s something in me that can help others. It’s my self that is my oxygen mask, in the darkest night.
I’ve never had that before.
AND IT’S AMAZING.
Also as a 2nd year art student this is my first comic.
@autiebiographical ran the month of Auctober! Thank you.
#auctober2024#auctober#web comic#comic#comic art#audhd#actually autistic#autism#autistic#autistic things#neurodivergent#adhd#late diagnosed autistic#comics#original comic#short comic#mini comic#comic strip#webcomic#individualism#my art#procreate#no contact
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It really makes me so damn angry how many autistic/ADHD people treat the neurodivergent label as the autism+adhd label. Neurodivergent includes ANYONE who's brain doesn't work the way it's supposed to. This includes people that have learning disabilities. People with down's syndrome. People with cluster A, B and C disorders. That includes systems/people with DID, that includes schizophrenics, that includes people with PTSD. If you have a group that is labeled for neurodivergent people, you cannot act surprised or offended if people that don't have autism or ADHD but DO have other disorders join that group. Because neurodivergent is an umbrella term. And everyone under that umbrella term deserves to be able to find community in groups named with that umbrella term.
#i made this post in honor of my boyfriend#he had joined a neurodivergent group#and got kicked out when group members found out his diagnoses were ASPD NPD and schizophrenia#like damn he deserves a community too#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#autism#autistic#adhd#downs syndrome#learning disability#schizophrenia#did#dissociative identity disorder#ptsd#complex ptsd#ppd#paranoid personality disorder#schizoid personality disorder#schizotypal personality disorder#aspd#antisocial personality disorder#npd#narcissistic personality disorder#hpd#histrionic personality disorder#bpd#borderline personality disorder#avoidant personality disorder#dependent personality disorder
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Neurodivergent people are never undiagnosed. We are misdiagnosed. Our symptoms don't go unnoticed, and people will always attribute them to some sort of cause. They'll just attribute them to personality and blame the individual for their symptoms.
For example. My autism is not undiagnosed, it's been misdiagnosed as "too sensitive," "awkward," "rude," "obsessive," and "too intense." My brother's adhd wasn't undiagnosed, it was misdiagnosed as "lazy," "impulsive," "annoying," and "can't seem to get any work done."
Growing up without a diagnosis is growing up believing that you are to blame for your differentness. Your symptoms are a personality flaw. You are diagnosed by everyone around you as "weird."
Edit: Some people have pointed out that I'm using the word misdiagnosis here rather loosely. I'm aware that it isn't quite correct definitionally, and I don't mean to say that medical misdiagnosis and the type of social misattribution I'm talking about are identical--just that they are related phenomena, and neurodivergent people are often victims of one or both. There isn't an exact term for what I'm talking about here, so I used the closest one I knew of. Terminology is important and some words need to be used with precision to retain their influence. At the same time, sometimes meanings change, and bending words to fit new circumstances is a natural way that language evolves. I'm not sure which situation this falls under, so while I don't want to change my post (not even sure what to change it to), I thought I'd edit and add clarification. Additional feedback on this is welcome.
#also i think that the self blame that usually comes with this experience is inherently traumatizing#but that's another story#anyway there's my lukewarm take of the day#autism#late diagnosed autistic#neurodivergent#adhd#actually autistic
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does anyone ever feel that they’re like. too neurodivergent to fit into normal society but not neurodivergent enough to relate to other neurodivergent people or is that just me
#neurodivergent#adhd#autism#this post is actually ab adhd#i just saw a post that was like “ive tried everything#and i went. oh wait#do i even rlly have adhd??#i have attention problems#i have trouble reading social cues#but i dont hyperfixtate so heavily anymore and i dont struggle academically besides remembering to study and do homework#but you wouldn’t think i have adhd -ppl assume im just slow or weird because i dont visibly struggle and im not hyperactive at all#i feel so normal yet so strange compared to everyone else#im formally diagnosed with adhd but i feel like im not adhd enough for my struggles to matter#i hate talking about this because it feels like such a pity party#ohhhh woe is meeee my neurodivergence is manageable so i feel left out ohhhh the agonyyy ohhh#just some thoughts
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me: *reads over symptoms of autism once again* “see but i don’t get upset over changes in routine, we change the routine all the time and i’m totally okay with it!”
also me since i was a kid: *gets irritated, stressed, angry, aggravated, and depressed for the rest of the day after something is switched to another day* *gets angry, stressed, and depressed, and has a breakdown when i find out we have to cancel plans, even if i didn’t really wanna go to wherever we were planning to go* *gets aggravated and is easily upset and is depressed the whole day after i get to cancel something that i had been planning for but also are relieved that i don’t have to go since i really didn’t want to* *is depressed, angry, irritated, and stressed after we cancel plans that i had zero feelings for up until that point* etc.
#i literally would cry my eyes out#be in a mood all day#& feel entirely off whenever plans changed like that all the damn time & still do that#i really need to take a look at my whole life before i say i don’t experience something cus i literally JUST figured this out this mornin#autisticrhys#actually autistic#autism#autism spectrum disorder#autistic#autistic culture#autistic spectrum#autistic community#autistic experiences#autistic things#being autistic#undiagnosed autistic#self diagnosed autism#self diagnosed autistic#autism symptoms#autistic traits#autism traits
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Everyone’s always like “Me and the Bad Bitch I pulled by being autistic”
Where’s MY bad bitch I pulled by being autistic???? Where are you finding these bad bitches who like your silly whimsy and inability to answer the phone???? Please????
#this has been running through my brain all day and I need answers#prince rambles in this chilies tonight#me and the bad bitch i pulled by being autistic#autistic#autistic adult#self diagnosed autism#autism
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me: finally accepting theres a good chance im autistic and starting to work up the courage to ask my parents to see if i could get a diagnoses but being scared to
my mom: do you ever think you have adhd? if you want to do a screening for add next time your at the doctors you can
me:
#for context im terrified of being the person who sees stuff online and diagnosis themselves and then is wrong#which is why it took me so long to accept im —probably— autistic (bc now i have done research and stuff for it)#and id see adhd things that were relatable but i felt i related more to the autism + self diagnosing both felt weird (for me not in general#but now like. my mom is willing to accept i might have add??#(there was a long talk in between her asking if i ever thought i had it and her saying i could get a screening where we both agreed that#—if i did have it— i didnt have the hyperactive part. hence the add vs adhd thing)#and now that kinda through off my plans because like. what if i do also had adhd. or something#so yeah small crisis woo#i need to actually look i to symptoms and stuff for adhd though#because im not saying anything til i know more about it and if i actually do have a lot of the things#but this also gives me a chance go write about the autism things as well bc i told my mom i would look into the adhd#so now i can hopefully find a way to bring that up#ive mentioned that autism is a spectrum recently which i didnt think she knew before#so progress i guess#wow long rant in the tags whoops#jasper’s posts#moots have some jaz lore i guess
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People who claim that Aang was a terrible, abusive father to Bumi and Kya and that he never cared about them are so odd to me because like... did you guys not have like parents who work? Or siblings who connect with one parent more due to common interests?
Like kids interpret situations that are not about them as about them. Like when my dad had brain surgery and memory issues due to it and kept forgetting who I am, I thought he genuinely hated me. And I still talk about it in therapy lol. Cause that shit sticks with you, even though my father was always a kind man.
Or when my sister and my dad both obsess over their fave football team and I don't really have that much of an interest in sports but I still feela bit left out.(my father's West Ham obsession is tearing this family apart.)
Like. Loving, amazing parents make mistakes or accidentally hurt their children's feelings. Usually because they're dealing with their own shit. Flawed parents doesn't automatically equal abusive parents.
#raised by parents so emotionally neglectful I got diagnosed with autism#yeah I have daddy issues but my father is actually a wonderful man and was genuinely doing his best#flawed father aang they could never make me hate you#aang#pro aang#tenzin#kya ii#bumi ii#avatar#atla#avatar: the last airbender#the last airbender#avatar the last airbender
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i've never seen the show
#scooby doo#velma#scooby#shaggy#daphne#fred#velma scooby doo#shaggy scooby doo#daphne scooby doo#fred scooby doo#here have a little gift *diagnoses u with autism*#these are just my impressions so sorry if they are completely off base#beep
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i have been resurrected from the dead by the pure energy of absentmindedly scrolling through rendogs channel and being forcefully YANKED back into my hermitcraft phase by the sound of his voice
#hermitcraft#hermitcraft alignment charts#rendog#docm77#grian#geminitay#cubfan#etho#ethoslab#xisuma#xisumavoid#bdubs#bdoubleo100#keralis#goodtimeswithscar#i am literally boiling alive as i wite this#it’s so motherfucking hot in my room#but can’t belive my hermitcraft phase is back#i TOLD y’all i woild never abandon this account#i literally got diagnosed with autism did my gcses went to college and dropped out of college in between now and the last post#i now am taking a year off#unsure of what to do with my life#perhaps i’ll pursue tumblr full time xxx
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Spikeangelo, Reference sheet... again, I think
Yes, this is a hint...maybe
#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#art#crossover#tmnt crossover#tmnt 2012#spikeangelo au#spikangelo au#tmnt 2012 spike#tmnt 2012 slash#tmnt last ronin#the last ronin#tmnt the last ronin#last ronin#titan rivals rise leon in the amount of times he uses humor to cope#proving his hidden mikey status#character reference#character sheet#updates are stagnate cause im waiting to be able to read the comics myself 😩#i can only do so much with little info and it i hate getting things wrong#so im gonna try to get my research in but for now we might be stuck with the asks for awhile#(im very particular about things sorry sorry fscbnjrdbht)#its like highschool all over again ;□;)#edit: you ever just realize you have autism again despite being diagnosed...
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The Sammy Lawrence Art I mentioned in another post!
I literally can't stop drawing him guys, send help 😭 😭 He's such a fascinating character to me, like I need to stick this guy under a microscope and write a 10 page dissertation him. The ink got to him guys. It called to him.
Like, he's an asshole but a lot of it wasn't his fault. He deserved better.
(Design of Sammy heavily based on the Escape AU by @inkdemonapologist!!) (I hope you don't mind the ping, or me taking inspiration from your designs. He's so fun to draw, I love it)
#sammy lawrence#bendy and the ink machine#Fanart#my art#batim#I'm like 98% sure he has autism but it's the 1930's so he hasn't been diagnosed obvi#I'm new to the fandom!! Idk how I ended up here in the year 2024 but yaknow we have fun#tw religious themes#Should I put that? It's Sammy I feel like it's a given#How to tag this I do not know
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being raised by two parents who both had at the time undiagnosed autism was very nice as an autistic child but on a social front it was an absolute disaster because if i went up to my parents and asked "hey someone at school said doing [x] is weird, is that true?" about something i did that was Autistic as all hell they'd go "no thats normal we do that too" and that would be it. No dude we're both weird as hell!!
#autism#actually autistic#anyways me getting diagnosed at age 14 had a domino effect we're the autism household now#the diagnosis part took so long cuz my parents thought i was normal....cuz i acted just like they did
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