#my anxiety and depression are so intertwined here

[introvert-celeste]

Guess who forgot to take her meds yesterday (again)?

Love this little reminder that, while able to function with relative ease in the world, I'm still deeply mentally ill and my thought process for certain things is absolutely fucked.

[calicoheartz]

hi could u pls write about Paige comforting and helping reader who tries but can’t get her grades up and just feels overwhelmed due to some friendship issues too pls ? You could do different parts or a fic abt this would be rlly nice pls 💐💐

Whispers of Comfort ; Paige Bueckers

꣑୧ — summary | just paige comforting you with your personal struggles 💌💐❤️‍🩹

wc ; 900

— warnings | tw mentions of depression , anxiety , mental health , angst (has a happy ending dw!!)

my master list ㇀♡

a/n : this is somewhat similar to one of my other fics that you can read here , so I tried to add a different spin on it! Enjoy :)

The fluorescent lights of the university library cast a harsh glow over the hunched figure buried in textbooks and notes. That figure was you, desperately trying to make sense of the chaos of academics that seemed determined to swallow you whole. Yet, despite your best efforts, the numbers on your latest exam paper stared back at you with cruel finality—another failure in a long line of disappointments.

Your heart sank in remembrance of the unfortunate outcome of the test you studied hours for, the test you dedicated to studying for almost 3 weeks in advance. Your heart sank as the weight of inadequacy settled in your chest, suffocating you with each labored breath. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you struggled to hold back the overwhelming tide of despair threatening to consume you whole.

“Hey, mind if I join you?”

You quickly recognized the sweet and gentle voice, startled, you looked up to find your girlfriend standing right before you, with a concerned look marring her brow. Her presence alone was enough to ease the tightness in your chest, offering a small glimmer of hope amidst the uneasiness and darkness that threatened to swallow you whole.

“Paige..” you managed to stutter out, your voice echoing with emotion. “I didn’t expect to see you here, I thought you were at home?”

A sympathetic smile graced the blondes lips, as she took the seat opposite of you, as her eyes filled with genuine concern.

“You weren’t answering any of my texts, so I figured you’d be here. I couldn’t help but wonder what was on your mind.” she said softly, her voice laced with sincerity. “Is everything okay?”

Paige knew you had struggled this year academically, but she never knew to what extent. You were ashamed to ask her for help, I mean compared to her you’re only a fraction of her success. While she’s an all american academic, juggling both sports and her studies, you were even struggling to pass a simple quiz or project. Which in term made it very difficult to ask her for help, afraid she would realize that you weren’t worth her time.

It’s almost as if the floodgates collapsed, the weight of your burdens spilling out a torrent of pent-up emotions. You poured your heart out to Paige, confessing the struggles that had plagued you for weeks - the sleepless nights spent studying, the countless hours wasted in a fruitless pursuit of academic perfection, the forgotten and skipped meals, everything seeming to slowly creep up onto you all seemingly at once.

Paige listened intently, offering words of comfort and trying to understand as you bared your soul into her. In her presence, the walls you had built around your heart began to crumble, revealing the vulnerable soul that lay beneath the facade of strength you had so carefully constructed.

"I just don't know what to do anymore," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get my grades up. And on top of that, I'm having issues with my friends..."

Your words trailed off, a sense of helplessness washing over you as you struggled to articulate the depth of your despair. Paige reached out, her hand intertwining between yours in a gesture of solidarity that sent warmth spreading through your veins.

"You're not alone, you know," she said gently, her voice a soothing balm to the wounds of self-doubt that had long plagued your spirit. "We all face challenges in life, but it's how we confront them that defines who we are. You're doing the best you can, and that's all anyone can ask for."

Her words resonated with you, striking a chord deep within your soul as you looked into her eyes and saw the unwavering belief reflected there. In Paige's presence, you found the strength to confront the demons that had held you captive for so long, emboldened by the knowledge that you were not alone in your struggles.

Together, you and Paige embarked on a journey of self-discovery, navigating the treacherous waters of academia and interpersonal relationships with unwavering determination. With each passing day, you found solace in each other's company, drawing strength from the unbreakable bond that had formed between you.

As the weeks turned into months, you began to see glimpses of progress—small victories that served as a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. With Paige by your side, you faced each challenge head-on, armed with the unwavering belief that together, you could overcome anything life threw your way.

And in the quiet moments shared between late-night study sessions and heartfelt conversations, you discovered something far more precious than academic success or fleeting friendships. You found solace in each other, a bond forged in the crucible of adversity, bound by the unbreakable ties of love and understanding.

In Paige's arms, you found refuge from the storm raging within, a sanctuary where the burdens of the world melted away in the warmth of her embrace. And as you leaned into her, basking in the glow of her unwavering affection, you knew that no matter what trials lay ahead, you would face them together, united in a love that transcended the boundaries of time and space.

For in the midst of chaos, you had found peace, and with the love of your life Paige, you had found home.

we love good girlfriend Paige !! i want a paige in my life 🥴😞 as always , thank you for reading !!

psa ! if u are struggling w mental health my dms are always open 💗 rmb that ur so loved by me and so many others

[m6rija]

⟡ ⠀hold me tight⠀⠀⊹⠀⠀ soshiro hoshina & you

gn, flower shop owner reader who deals with depression and anxiety. hurt/comfort, a bit of angst maybe. this is the part 1 of my scaredy cat series.

what you had achieved so far slipped through your fingers like fine sand, swallowed up, swept away by greedy waves of poisonous distress, almost like ivy, choking your laments as they hugged your throat.

the prelude to a chain of events that would almost push you over the edge in front of the person you most admired— you felt so weak and ashamed.

the piece of paper was lying in front of you, sharing a place next to your friend's results.

your expression bordered on sadness even though you had passed just as he had, lips pressed into a thin line

you thought you didn't deserve it

and soshiro looked at you worriedly

he took your hand gently and even dared to intertwine his fingers with yours for brief instants

he ran the pad of his thumb over the back of your hand.

"sorry…"

you mumbled in an almost inaudible whisper.

you knew how hard he had worked to get here, how many sleepless nights had passed in which he had dedicated himself to training

how he woke up almost every day only to pick up the sword

how his hands were calloused, rough to the touch from gripping the weapon so tightly for so long

but you thought you lacked the same spark that he did

and that you were just following him without any purpose beyond accompanying him in his dream.

even if that were so, you would be useless as his companion.

you couldn't protect others, you were incapable of fighting and you felt useless compared to most others.

so why did you decide to accept your friend's proposal to take the exams for the defense forces together?

perhaps it was because of how enthusiastic he seemed to be when he told you about his plan.

how his smile spread across his face and his eyes took on the shape of little crescents

he seemed so cheerful talking to you, convincing you to hold his hand if you became nervous during the exam

your lower lip trembled with insecurity as you realized that you just didn't want to disappoint him

you were afraid to see his dissapointed face

because you wanted to live up to his expectations

however, the silent, disconsolate sob you barely managed to utter was proof enough of how much you demanded of yourself, and how it didn't seem to be nearly enough for you to live up to the man in front of you.

you didn't deserve the results etched in ink that went hand in hand with your name, much less could you allow your racing heartbeat to be the cause of your fractured smile that came before your tears.

because you were happy to have passed, but you could not accept it.

there were people much better suited for this job than you— and you even assured yourself that you would fail the next exam.

so if you were so fervent in your claims, why would you even take that second test?

why put in the effort?

"it would be… better if i supported you from afar."

you managed to feel that hint of sadness through the touch of the dark-haired one, who refused to withdraw his hand from yours

even though you tried to retract yours, trembling.

"i don't think i can do this."

you bit your lower lip with the intention of holding back those tears that threatened to spill from your eyes

"sorry"

your jaw trembled to the rhythm of your hands, voice bathed in obvious fear

your gaze barely lifted at the sound of your friend's voice.

"'tis not a job apt for everyone, so don't beat yerself up over it."

a soft, almost gentle tone adorned those words

and your heart ached in anguish when you didn't find the disappointment you had imagined.

perhaps he was hiding it, so as not to make you uncomfortable.

soshiro was always attentive to you— even his touch on your fearful hands was as soft as feathers

and that made you imagine that he was hiding what he really wanted to tell you.

because you'd heard harsh words throughout your life

just like him

he was as exhausted as you, carrying so much on his shoulders— and yet he had decided to stay by your side, to comfort you when you hit rock bottom and try to ease what you were so worried about.

you felt that all you were doing was occupying him more than he already was, putting more weight on him, even though he repeated several times that this did not bother him at all, that he did it voluntarily.

the wall that divided the two of you was the simple fact that he wanted to begin to fight against what he had been told throughout his life

while you were just sinking, learning to live with it rather than against it.

so you assumed that everyone would treat you the same; and when that didn't happen you simply thought the worst

even if you didn't want to

"ya better support me like you say"

soshiro's finger was pointing at you, and his little fangs showed above his lower lip

you lightly mimicked his smile, aware that he was only acting this way in an attempt to cheer you up

"i wanna see yer pretty face all happy, 'kay?"

[v3nusstardust]

🤍”Somethin’ stupid”🤍

Pairing : BF!Niki Nishimura x DEPRESSEDreader! (Real) 🎀

Genre : fluff <3 sad af tho idfk what the genre is

WARNINGS : mentions of self harm, depression, anxiety

A/N : SRRY I usually post like once a week and I forgot to this week I think… Idrk I literally have a fucking concussion rn💀 happened bcs lowkey thought I was in a music video and did cartwheels in my room at 3 am and smacked the shit out of my head and then hit my head on the floor and woke up seeing Gojo Satoru shakin ass 💀😜 anyway enjoy yawl😳

•

•

In the car with your boyfriend Niki, heading to the movie theater, the atmosphere was perfect –soft music, and a feeling that made life worthwhile. It had been a month since you’d seen him. These small moments you had with Niki made your life worth living. Most of the time he was busy or away for his idol duties and you’d miss him so badly. You would wonder if him being away for so long would end up with you both breaking up or you both falling out of love. The thought always made you feel nauseous and overwhelmed. Your overthinking would get the best of you sometimes, and you would result to self harm. Niki had no idea though and you never planned on telling him.

"Y/n, you might want to ditch the hoodie; it's getting pretty warm in here. You're sweating," your boyfriend chuckled, casting a glance your way. "No kidding, it's hot as hell." You sighed wiping your forehead with your sleeve. As you started to pull down the zipper your hoodie, the memories of your scars made you hesitate. “Actually I’m fine. I can handle it.” You reassured Niki. “Huh? Don’t risk a heat stroke, take it off,” he insisted, concern etching his face. “No I’m literally gonna be fine trust me.” You countered, zipping your hoodie back up quickly. “Y/n. It’s the middle of summer and you’re wearing a hoodie darling. You might wanna take it off.” Niki suggested, a puzzled look was painted on his face. “I’m gonna be alright trust me.” You gave Niki a sweet smile, trying to look unsuspicious. “Whatever you say Y/n.” Your boyfriend sighed.

You and Niki finally arrived at the movie theater. You checked in, got tickets, got snacks and headed to your movie. The air-conditioned theater promised relief from the summer heat, but your hoodie remained a steadfast companion.

Inside the cool, dimly lit theater, you found your seats, the contrast between the chilly air and your hoodie creating a cozy bubble. The movie previews flickered on the screen, and the scent of buttered popcorn filled the air.

Niki leaned over and whispered, "Are you sure you won't overheat in there?..”

“It’s cool in here Niki! I’m fine.” You softly giggled. The movie began, and you got so into it that the hoodie wasn't on your mind anymore. The plot grabbed your attention, and the cozy warmth just blended into the background.

Midway through the movie, Niki gently reached for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. Your initial reaction was surprise; you were aware of Niki's habit for tracing his fingers along your palms and wrists. Softly pushing his hand away, you met his gaze. He looked absolutely ethereal in the dim theater lighting.

"Do you not want to hold hands?" Niki whispered, pouting with a hint of sadness.

"I do, just... not right now," you replied. Niki's worried expression prompted him to ask, "Is there something wrong?"

You hesitated before responding, "No, no, I just... don't worry about it."

Your words, though intended to reassure, unintentionally stabbed at Niki's heart. His love for you was profound, and while he knew he could be clingy, he never imagined it could "annoy you." The worry in his eyes lingered as the movie played on.

You both went back to the apartment after the movie. The car ride was quiet because you pretended to be asleep, avoiding a talk about why you didn't hold hands. Niki spent the entire ride overthinking what he might have done wrong.

“Niki. I’m gonna go take a shower.” You said, walking off to your room to get your clothes. “Oh okay. I’ll make you some tea for when you get out.” He replied.

When you stepped in the shower, the warm water stung your fresh cuts. You held your wrists and winced in pain, small tears ran down your cheeks. Staring at your wrists, you wondered how you could be so stupid. You regret doing it , because now Niki might see them. The thought made you softly cry. Thank God the shower water was loud enough to cover up your soft muttering and sighs.

After your shower, you returned to the kitchen. Niki was busy cooking dinner and brewing tea for both of you, a delightful surprise that warmed your heart. Soft music played from his speaker next to the stove.

Curious, you asked, "What are you making?" Sitting at the table, he chuckled and replied, "Pasta, I’m trying out new things." The song changed to your favorite, "Somethin’ Stupid” by Frank Sinatra. Excitedly, you exclaimed, "Niki, you added my favorite song to your playlist!"

With a smile, he admitted, "I really like this song. Isn't it your favorite?" You giggled, "Duh! I play it all the time in your car." Niki turned off the stove and approached you. "Is the food ready?" you inquired. "Not yet, but how about we dance?" he suggested, extending his hand with a gentle smile, eyes filled with admiration.

In the soft glow of the dim kitchen light, you and Niki began to slow dance. The soothing melody of the song filled the air as he held you close. The ambiance was warm, and the subtle scent of dinner in the making lingered.

Niki led with gentle grace, swaying to the music with you in a tranquil dance. The rhythmic steps mirrored the easy connection between you two, the worries of the day fading away in the embrace of the moment. His hand rested on the small of your back, fingers delicately entwined with yours. As you swayed together, his other hand found its place on your waist, the closeness allowing you to feel the comforting warmth of his touch. The subtle aroma of the cooking dinner heightened the sensory experience.

Niki's gaze, brimming with stars and admiration, locked onto yours as he gently took your hand in his. However, reality snapped you back, and a sudden fear of him discovering your self infliction made you pull away. You pulled your hand away from his gently. Niki stopped dancing with you, his eyes locked onto yours with concern. "I'm sorry for asking, but why don't you want me to hold your hand?" he inquired.

A tremor ran through you, fear intensifying. Taking a deep breath, you hesitated before admitting, "I... I just," struggling to find the right words. The fear of Niki discovering your scars weighed heavy on your mind.

After a moment, you decided to face it. "Actually, you know what? Hold hands with me," you said, mustering a smile and intertwining your fingers with his. It was a fleeting decision, hoping that the dance would end before he’d notice. He brought a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Your hair smells good.” He nestled his nose into your hair. The song made the moment vulnerable. You found yourself forgetting about all your worries once again. He brought his lips to your wrist, you didn’t even catch it either. You were too busy humming the melody of the song into his chest. Niki pressed his lips to your wrist. He quickly pulled back and examined if, squinting his eyes. You suddenly realized what he was doing. You pulled away from his arms and held your wrist. His face looked indescribable. Worried, sad, confused all at the same time. The song had stopped already, and the room fell silent. "Y/n," Niki uttered softly, his voice carrying a mixture of concern and care. Before he could say more, your lips began to quiver, and tears welled up in your lashes. A gentle cascade of tears spilled from your eyes.

Niki, swift in his response, hurried over and enveloped you in a warm embrace. His chin rested on your head, and his hand traced soothing circles on your back. Anxiety gripped you like a constricting fog, the weight on your chest almost suffocating. Tears stained Niki's once-white shirt, but he paid it no mind.

"It's okay. I'm not upset," he reassured, planting a tender kiss on the top of your head. "My poor, beautiful girl. When did you do that?" he asked, lifting your chin to meet his gaze. Your hyperventilating made it challenging to speak, rendering you silent in the vulnerability of the moment.

Your hyperventilation began to subside, allowing you to regain some composure. "I..was just.. overthinking," you finally managed to admit, your voice still shaky.

Niki's expression softened, a mixture of empathy and a determination to be there for you. “Was it because of me?” he whispered, his thumb brushing away a tear that lingered on your cheek.

You hesitated, the weight of your emotions pressing against your chest. "Yes?... no," you stumbled over your words, struggling to articulate the whirlwind within. "I just miss you so much when you're gone for so long. I feel so lonely again. You're... you're my only light, and the only one in my life who actually makes me happy. I can't stand it when you're away."

Niki's gaze held a depth of understanding as he gently cradled your face. "Y/n, I didn't realize. I'm here for you, always. I’ll bring you with me next time, and the next one after that. I promise my love,” he reassured. His words soothed the ache within your heart. “I’ll be back,” Niki gently pulled his body away from yours. “I’m gonna go get bandages from the bathroom. Sit down,” he kissed your cheek before leaving the room.

When Niki returned, you couldn't help but chuckle at the state of his shirt, soaked with tear and snot stains – undeniably gross. Standing in front of you, he gently took hold of both your injured wrists, his eyes carrying a mix of hurt and pain. Soft elastic bandages in hand, he began to wrap your wrists with a delicate touch.

As he worked, you noticed a subtle glisten in his eyes. His fingers traced along the palms of your wrists, a silent acknowledgment of shared pain. You looked up at him with teary eyes and saw the vulnerability in his gaze.

"Promise me you'll never do this again," he pleaded, his voice cracking with emotion. Small tears escaped his eyes, tracing down his cheeks. Overwhelmed, you apologized, "I... I'm sorry. I promise. I'm so sorry."You rose from your chair, embracing Niki tightly, the shared pain and promise binding you together in that moment. “I love you so much darling you have no idea. To know that you’ve been hurting yourself like this.. it kills me.” He whispered softly. “I love you too, Niki.” You placed a soft kiss to his chin.

"Do you wanna finish making dinner, and then we can cuddle after?" you proposed.

As Niki's sniffles gradually subsided, a tender smile graced his face, the corners of his eyes still dampened. Niki's smile widened as he looked down at you. "Of course," he agreed, his head tilting slightly. In that gentle tilt, he closed the distance, leaning in for a long, reassuring kiss.

Together, you continued with the meal, the kitchen filled with the comforting aroma of food and music. You showed Niki more songs you liked and he added them to y’all’s new slow dancing playlist.

As you placed the finishing touches on the meal, Niki slid his arms around you, pulling you into a warm embrace. "Smells amazing in here, thank you for helping me darling.”

The conversation during dinner went smoothly. You both talked about stories of the past and dreams for the future. Niki's eyes, still holding a glimmer of tenderness, locked onto yours, reinforcing the unspoken understanding that this moment, amidst shared laughter and a table filled with love, was truly special.

Cuddling on the couch, the outside world faded away, leaving room for the intimacy of shared comfort. “You’re so pretty y/n” Niki admired your facial features. The smell of his fresh Basil and mandarin cologne brought you comfort. You threw your leg over his and snuggled closer onto him. He could feel your soft breaths on his neck. Niki peppered kisses on your temples. He was humming a gentle tune to one of your favorite songs. The moment made you realize how lucky you were to be with someone like him.

A/n : erm I literally fell asleep writing this w my hard ass fit on and makeup bruh my skin is breaking out hella someone come kill me. Srry for the amount of mistakes btw I did not read over it 🤓🤓 I raw dogged this it might be shitty Also I hope y’all liek:3 i put my whole venussy into this. Xoxo💋💋

[peachesofteal]

okay okay I’m the anon who sent in the ask about if Simon would’ve chased Darling and like…now you have me intensely needing that AU where he chases her, carries her back, and ties her to the bed 😈

AND wondering how they even got her to the flat in the first place?? Like even Darling is confused, so it must’ve been that quick for Simon and Johnny to get her from the hotel back home for her to wonder how the hell she got back there

Sorry sorry I’m just so obsessed with Dead Disco and all these possible AUs and different scenes and scenarios have me going absolutely FERAL

I could be very well tempted to write "tying to the bed" au but also, loved this opportunity to revisit Darling and the guys between chapters three and four, when she was incredibly vulnerable and in a difficult mental space. So, thank you. All my love to you! 🩵

Canon for Dead Disco - takes place between Chapters 3 and 4. 18+ Mature themes. No smut but Darling doing darling things (eating issues, alcohol use, anxiety, depressive episode, etc.) Mentions of prescription medication. 

“Do you have any clothes?” Johnny asks, rubbing your shoulder softly. You nod and point to the bag that sits haphazardly on the chair. Simon rifles through it while Johnny works the towel in your hair, trying to get it as dry as possible. You sit still for him, unmoving, and it hurts when he remembers the way you were only two months when he washed your hair, giggling against him, relaxed and happy while he massaged his fingertips into your scalp, carefully making sure everything was rinsed from roots to ends.

Something rattles in Simon’s hands, and it draws your attention, your head whipping to where he’s got a bottle of pills in his hand, a full bottle, and Johnny smothers his grimace. Simon puts it back in your bag without saying anything, but the silence speaks for itself. You haven’t been taking your meds. 

“I’m sorry.” You lament, voice choked with tears, and Johnny pulls you into his chest, smoothing a hand over your hair. 

“Shhh. It’s alright, we know.” His heart breaks for you, for what he knows is going on in your head, for how you must feel. Abandoned. You felt abandoned by them. You felt like you were on the outside. You felt left behind.  He swallows the guilt, not allowing his own unsteady emotions to take over, instead choosing to finish with your hair and coaxing you out of your robe to get changed. 

“Are we…” you begin but trail off, and he holds the t shirt that Simon pulled from the bag towards you. “really going to get a new place?” you finish once your head pops through the hole, and he realizes it’s Simon’s t shirt. You were wearing his own when you answered the door, and he wonders how much of your bag is actually their clothing.

“Yes, darling.” Simon answers. “But first we need to get you home.” You stare at him kind of blankly, a little void-like, before you blink and nod slowly. 

“Okay.” 

“Okay? You’ll let us take you home?” Simon clarifies, because he needs it. Johnny knows, he needs to hear it, the permission, the allowance for what comes next. 

Control.

“Yes.” You whisper. Simon looks at him, and it’s all Johnny needs to understand. Stand down. Let me handle it. Lock step. Johnny nods. 

They get the hotel room together pretty quickly. You sit on the bed with your legs crossed the entire time, eyes burning a hole in the wall, vacancy still present there, unmoving until Simon prompts you, encourages you to stand, where Johnny hesitantly offers you his hand, to hold. Take it. Take it, please darling. Trust me. I’m here. I’m right here. 

You stare for a long moment, before you’re finally clutching onto him, letting his fingers intertwine with yours as he moves you towards the door. 

When the three of you get to the elevator, you falter. You step away from the both of them, letting go of Johnny’s hand, panic rising through you, your eyes darting between them and the elevator. 

“Darling.” Johnny tries to reach for you, but you step back. 

“I-“ you gasp, and then press your palm over your heart, like it aches, like you’re physically hurting. “I d-don’t know what’s wrong with me.” You sob, the sound tearing into Johnny, shredding him apart and he gapes at you, momentarily confused. No, no no. Come back to us. “I don’t- I don’t know.” Simon moves, fast, into your orbit, wide palm streaking across the dead air to hold onto you, pulling you into his chest while gripping your neck. Not hard, not enough to hurt, but enough to act as the fail-safe, the thing that they turn to sometimes when presented with no other choice. The shutdown button. It settles you easily, gently, and pulls you back into yourself in moments like these. “I’m sorry.” You blubber, while Simon walks you backwards, slowly, until you’re pressed against Johnny, and his arms come around you easily.

“Stay with us, darling. Stay here. With us.” He coaches you, trying to keep you present, keep you calm while kneads his fingers against your shoulder. He vaguely remembers the still cold, half drank beer that was sitting in the dresser in your room, and it clicks together a bit more, why you’re so upset in this moment, compared to the tired, subdued, near catatonic state you’ve been in for the last hour. Alcohol is a depressant. And for you, and others who struggle similarly, it can make or break you. It can leave you feeling anxious for days after over consuming, can make your heart hurt and your brain confused that much more easily when you’re vulnerable like this. Johnny knows this. “Love, look at me.” He taps your jaw while Simon shuffles your bag back onto his arm and presses the elevator button, all the while still rubbing your neck. You peek up at him, face still half burrowed in his chest, and he takes the opportunity to ask. “Were you drinking earlier?” 

“Yeah.” You whisper. “I’m so-“ 

“Don’t.” Simon soothes you. “Don’t apologize, darling. You’re okay. Everything’s alright now. We’re going to get you home, and get you into bed. Maybe something easy to eat if you feel up to it, okay?” 

“Okay.” You mumble. You keep yourself pressed into Johnny and he can’t help but soak it up, loving the feeling of you in his arms, safe, here, with him. Not gone. Not MIA. Here. 

You fall asleep in the car. Johnny holds you in the backseat, the entire time, and nobody speaks. Simon occasionally checks on him via the rearview mirror, and then reaches his hand behind the driver’s seat to squeeze Johnny’s knee. It’s a comfort, and Johnny just wants to fast forward until the three of you are together, at home, in bed. 

He wakes you when they pull into the parking garage, managing to rouse you enough to get you into the elevator, and by the time the doors are opening on their floor, you’re fully awake, your hands twisted together while you walk. He breathes deeper, breathes easier, when the front door opens, and he walks through, turning to coax you through the doorway with an outstretched hand and open palm, as Simon stands with every muscle tense, his eyes not blinking, not willing tear his gaze away from where you linger, and he knows its because he is afraid you'll bolt. Johnny's not sure he could keep him from chasing you down at this point, and when he glances at him again, he sees how his body is thrumming with nervous energy, ready to break into a sprint at a split second’s notice.

Come on, love. Come inside. 

“Darling?”

[captain039]

PART 3 Intertwined with a mortal

Ascended Vampire Duke!Astarion x human!reader

Bridgerton x Astarion 👍🏻

Warnings: Olden times, swearing, age gap, tension, slow burn, vampire Mates, vampire things, angst, sexual, harassment, bigger reader, fat shaming, 18+, angst, Astarions trauma, anxiety, depression, learning to touch and love, big dislike for children lmao, AOB, artist reader, manipulation

Previous part <-

Gods you may be going insane, your dreams were so sinful it would make the faithful cry. You danced with him twice and now he’s in your dreams caressing your body and sending you waves of pleasure you didn’t know was possible. Your books didn’t help either, you always snuck a lewd book in your bag from the library when your mother would go, now you were reading with the duke in mind and yourself as the main character. You thought a nice day of painting would send your thoughts away till you began sketching his face in your book. You’d slammed the thing shut and threw it with wide eyes and a pounding heart, gods what was wrong with you.

The third party of the season had arrived you wore a light blush coloured dress, a fan to match in your hand, it was a warm night. You found Jen easily enough and then Karlach joined as you all began talking and smiling. You enjoyed being in their company, having not seen them in a while due to their own life challenges. What shocked you though was the duke Ravengard coming up to you to sign your dance card with a charming smile. It left you confused as Karlach nudged you with a giggle. After the duke signed a total of five more potential suitors signed and you were left baffled and staring at the names. Problem was, you didn’t feel excitement, you felt dread and a horrid churn in your stomach. You found yourself scanning the crowd too often hoping to see a familiar white haired elf ready to sweep you to the dance floor. When the dancing started though your heart dropped and you realised he wasn’t coming. You shook those thoughts quickly though, gods you didn’t even like the pale elf why were your thoughts all about him. As you started your dance with a young beta named Kye, blond curly hair and pale blue eyes, soft flushed cheeks, he was rather adorable, seemed too boyish to be dancing with lady’s. You kept your polite act up as you tried to ignore the churns in your stomach with each touch, you found yourself looking for the elf even more now. His scent wasn’t horrible, he smelt comforting in the ways betas do, you missed the coldness though.

“Are you alright Milady?” The beta asked.

“Yes sorry my lord, just a little distracted, the heat” you chuckled softly giving him your best fake smile you could muster. You danced and danced till alpha Duke Ravengard, you were exhausted and defeated as you didn’t see your pale elf. Your? He wasn’t yours for gods sake. Before the dance started Duke Ravengard was interrupted quickly and you froze and felt your heart jump at Duke Ancunin taking his place quickly. You felt relief flood you as you began the dance with him. You didn’t know what to say, just knew you felt ease where you were. You wanted to comment on his lateness, saying he took his time, how dare he, but you were the one always leaving him afterwards.

“I saw the way you danced with the others” he suddenly said and you frowned he was here the whole time? Bastard.

“Tense, looking around for someone, dare I say for me” he smirked lightly and you flushed.

“You’re wrong Duke Ancunin” you fought.

“Am I?” He chuckled.

“You’re not looking around anymore, you’re at ease in my arms, your scent is calm” it felt like he knew your every secret, had you been so obvious.

“I assure you it is nothing like that” you said trying to keep up an act. You glanced to Karlach and Jen on a certain turn, Karlach gave you a wink while Jen smiled. You looked to your mum next who was probably planning your wedding, honeymoon and next fifty years of your marriage, by the swoon smile she had. As you stood close to the Duke you let out a small sigh, he’d been on your mind all week and now he was finally here. You hated yourself for thinking like that, you’d already swooned over him, you didn’t even know if he was an alpha or beta or omega. Hells you didn’t even know if he was looking for marriage. Your face must’ve shown your emotions, because the Duke spoke up.

“What’s got you deep in angry thought” he teased with a chuckle.

“A lady is allowed her secrets and thoughts” you said curtly making him grin.

“Of course she is, however you’re scrunching that beautiful face so hard it must be bothersome” he commented and you felt your cheeks go hot. You cursed him silently and his piercing red eyes as the song ended and you bowed your head. Gods you needed air.

After five dances you were feeling lightheaded, two betas two alphas and the pale elf Duke. You hadn’t felt any connection with the other dancers, your heart didn’t thump loudly in your chest with desire. You sighed leaning against the cold railing, you didn’t want to go to anymore of these, maybe you could just slip away. You glanced back into the party your mother chatting happily with some other older lady’s. you glanced around to the guards seeing them unaware of your existence. You hurried to the garden swiftly dodging any eyes or lights before you found silence. You sighed debating if you could lie on the fresh grass, best not ruin the dress. You sat down in the bench instead finally alone with your thoughts.

“You always run off, little pup”

Or not.

You looked up seeing the duke you just danced with, did he follow you? You’re sure you were sneaky. You stood up out of nerves as he smiled at you.

“You shouldn’t be out here” you stated.

“Neither should you” he said back and you cursed silently. This was wrong, being alone with a man at such a time like this.

“Please be clear with me Duke Ancunin” you said and he frowned giving you his attention again.

“What is it?” He asked.

“Why’re you dancing with me? Why did you push Duke Ravengard aside? You’re not known for wanting marriage, and Duke Ravengard is a respectful alpha-“ before you could finish the duke was in front of you quickly hand holding your throat gently making your heart stop.

“Respectful he may be, but, you feel nothing towards him” he said low his eyes burning into yours.

“Marriage isn’t for love” you muttered sadly, but nervously.

“Or feelings” you added your hand holding his wrist. He didn’t choke you, just held you in place as he stared at you.

“No, but you feel this” he said quietly and leant forward. Your eyes closed without thought thinking he’d strangle you, instead cold lips pressed against yours and you gasped. You felt a noise leave your throat as his hand moved to cup your cheek and jaw tugging you closer.

“How I burn in your mind” he whispered kissing your jaw and tilting your head.

“Your thoughts are clouded with nothing but, me” his lips ghosted over your neck making you shudder in delight. You felt overly sharp teeth scrap your neck and felt your heart jump before he lifted his head again.

“You didn’t answer me” you said breathlessly as he smirked.

“This doesn’t mean anything” you added though your mind screamed at you.

“Doesn’t it?” He asked head tilted slightly, white curls blowing in the breeze that passed.

“Gods why’re you here? If someone saw us” your mind began to panic as your eyes rapidly darted around.

“Omega, calm down” his voice held authority as you looked back to him and steadied your breathing breathing in his scent. You pulled away from him and he frowned as you shook your head.

“If this is a game, stop, please” you begged jaw clenching as you held back tears.

“I need to find a husband, before it’s too late” you said surprising even yourself as you quickly left back to the party.

Astarion stared at the spot you were just in, his dead heart would be jumping if it could. You weren’t scared when he held your throat, slight nerves, but you trusted him without even realising it. He’d watched you the whole way through the hall his hands clenched in white knuckled fists as he watched those other men throw you around in what they called dancing. He felt your nerves, your discomfort, smelt your sour scent from here. When Duke Ravengard approached he couldn’t handle it, he took over, felt your relief and that sweet omega scent of yours went back to normal as you began to dance. He’d been late from needing to feed, his body already on edge from the killing, a simple low life nobody would miss now whisked into nothingness. It was stale and horrid, nothing to what your sweet blood would taste like. He found himself unbalanced and wanting more, you dancing in his arms was what it was meant to be, not other school boys barley out of their training diapers. You needed an alpha, someone able to take care of you. With his confliction he had no rank, though the way your body reacted to him suggest that perhaps in his past life he was an alpha destined. He was toying with you, till now, now he felt raw need, raw need for your body and soul to be his, devil strike any hand that lay upon you again.

Next part ->

Also

GUIIRRRLLL DINNNEERRR

[theonlyren]

Public Sylveon Announcement

So. It's Pride Month, and the Sylveon are out in droves, being the icons we all want them to be (they adore the attention). During this time, you may be tempted to catch one of these goobers, or perhaps be chosen by one, to raise and train as your own. That's great! As a trainer of a Sylveon for a whole decade, I'm intimately familiar with the ins and outs of this particular Eeveelution and will be glad to share some advice!

Without further ado, here's how you care for a newly caught Sylveon!

0: Don't.

Get yourself an Eevee, and earn your Sylveon.

Understand I'm not saying this with spite, this is genuinely a word of caution, a warning, if you will. Aside from the fact that catching a Sylveon during Pride is almost certainly an "impulse catch" that you may well not be ready to commit to, stop to consider for a moment just how Sylveon evolve. They require affection. Love. A step above "mere" friendship. They require a genuine connection to another that sparks perhaps one of the most unique and precious evolutions known to all 'mon. Straight up catching/adopting one not only skips that entire, critical step, but also more-than-likely deeply implies that the Sylveon you're catching/adopting had that connection and, one way or another has lost it.

We call this baggage and a lot of people aren't ready to deal with it. You could be inadvertently taking in a 'mon with separation anxiety, depression, nightmares and high stress, imposter syndrome, and more.

Start with an Eevee (A child of a Sylveon if at all possible ;D), and evolve it with a healthy baseline into a Sylveon, you'll both be much happier.

"But what if the Sylveon chose me and isn't leaving?"/"I'm aware of the risks, but want to commit to this anyway."

Well, dear reader, keep reading!

1: Be ready for touch.

Sylveon are titled "The Intertwining Pokemon" for a reason. They adore touch. They're hardwired to seek it. Quite literally my own Sylveon is sitting under my desk as I type this, with his feeler wrapped around my leg. It's his favorite place to be that isn't also in my bed. Their feelers can be off putting to a lot of people, especially after one realizes they're flesh and fur, but do not recoil from it, you'll break the poor bab's heart. Touch is how they explore and how they get a read on you and other pokemon (it's also how they lull prey into a false sense of security before they go for the throat, more on that later). Do not touch starve your Sylveon. For a blessing, their feelers are velvety soft and feel wonderful, at least, to most people. If you have other Pokemon, encourage them to get used to the feelers as well. I have a Zoroark on my team, and, though it took a while, he doesn't recoil at Vivi's feelers and lets him explore.

This all goes double for cuddles. Sylveon are perhaps the absolute worst of the Eeveelutions that still believe they're a lap Eevee once they evolve. A lot of trainers will try and tell you to discourage such behavior, since it will encourage them to pounce on other people, but, in my experience, Sylveon are rather adept at knowing who to not pounce on. As long as you're the primary pounce person, your Sylveon will seldom jump on other people that it doesn't consider a friend and knows not to pounce on.

2: Be ready for high-maintenance.

Sylveon (most of them, at least) are spoiled brats in one way or another. It's a common "trap" most trainers fall into when raising one, a lot of the ways you can show one affection as an eevee is to go above and beyond for it in one way or another, and they will get used to that. My Sylveon, as an example, loves baths, and practically requires one daily. Other Sylveon may require a battle on the weekly, or high quality food, or long, scenic walks, or, Arc-save-you, all of the above. They're a very high-energy, high-maintenance Eeveelution, beaten out only by Jolteon.

3: Be ready for noise.

Oh they YELL. Sylveon are talkative little buggers, and the moment something goes amiss they will cry about it. If they're having fun they will cry about it. If they're bored they will cry about it. If they know Hyper Voice, Lord-in-heaven they will cry about it. You can train one to be quiet on demand, but use such commands sparingly, as frequently telling them to "quiet down" will make one start to question if you're mad at it or appreciate it. Which leads us to-

4: Temper your emotions.

Another aspect about Sylveon is they use their feelers to channel a calming Fairy-type energy that quite literally reads your emotions and dulls hostility. This makes them great therapy Pokemon, as it makes it damn near impossible to be mad if one's around, and great hunters, as it makes it damn near impossible to fear for your life when it goes in for the kill! It also, perhaps frustratingly, makes it damn near impossible to be mad at them if they misbehave. And they're a fairy-type, they will misbehave at some point. All a Sylveon wants to feel is love and joy, understandably, but other emotions exist for a reason, and both you and your Sylveon will have to learn to channel and process those emotions in a healthy, controlled manner, as this will reliably get the both of you back to feeling the love and joy you're likely seeking. This process is different for everyone, and Arc-knows I'm far from a licensed therapist, but it's still important to learn how to figure out anger and sorrow with a Sylveon around, and the both of you will need to train yourselves to work through your feelings.

5: Be ready to play.

I'm lucky, I have other mons that'll be playmates for Vivi at the drop of a hat. But one thing I've observed with Sylveon as a whole is that they all need playtime and playmates, and if you don't have other Pokemon that can be your Sylveon's playmate, guess what, bud - that means you're the playmate! Even if you do have other mons you are still a valid playmate!

Buy toys.

Squeaky toys, tug-ropes, ribbons, balls, feathers, and dolls are all fantastic toys for your Sylveon, and if one brings a toy to you, you'd best engage, unless you want an express example of lesson 3. Thankfully, most Sylveon are happy with short and quick play sessions. My own is happy with maybe three rounds of fetch or a brief tug-o-war session before it'll go back to happily cuddling up next to me, but all Sylveon are different in varous ways. Trust your instincts and you'll be able to easily tell when your Sylveon is content.

6: They are smart.

Sylveon are beat out only by Espeon in the overall intelligence category. Being mostly modern/urban life adapted Pokemon that usually spend all their lives around humans, they pick up pretty quickly on language, social cues, tools, and so on. Intelligence is always a wavering factor among all Pokemon, but, on the whole, expect your Sylveon to be far more clever than your average Growlithe or Yamper, and respect that intelligence. It may not ever speak Galarian to you, but it could very well learn to read, open doors, work a TV remote or even keyboard, steal your phone, visit and buy from stores, and so on.

---

And there we have it! Past all this, all the standard methods for training and caring for Pokemon apply! Sylveon, on the whole, are quite amicable, and most are perfectly content to chill out and cuddle when they aren't being high-chaos gremlins. They're fantastic battlers as well, with great durability, utility, and surprising potential for damage, amplified only by the love and friendship you provide one.

Give a Sylveon love, and - capital L - Love is what you get in return.

[warabidakihime]

A Glimpse Beyond Grief: Prologue

Characters: Toji Fushiguro x Reader | Office AU | Both characters are in their early 30s | toji is good daddy in this uwu Synopsis: galactically intertwined journey of two souls: one navigating the depths of loss, the other offering a beacon of healing. through witty banter and unspoken connections, they find solace in unexpected places, uncovering the resilience of the human spirit and the power of love to mend even the most shattered hearts. Content warning: profanity, (eventual) smut, highkey adult themed, can be psychologically and emotionally triggering for some so read with caution.

-

Toji's voice echoed through the house, a sense of urgency coloring each word. "Megumi! Tsumiki! Hurry up!" His eyes darted to the clock, ticking away the precious minutes before his crucial job interview.

From the upper floor, Megumi's small, hurried voice floated down. "Wait! I'm still tying my shoes!"

"Hurry up! I can't be late for my interview!" Toji called back, the weight of the day pressing on him.

"Be there in a second, Dad!" Tsumiki's reassuring response reached him, a small comfort in the chaos.

Toji sighed, standing in the foyer, anxiety gnawing at him. Today was no ordinary day; it was his final interview for a job he desperately needed. The past year had been a relentless struggle since his wife's tragic death, a wound that refused to heal. But today, he needed to be more than just a grieving widower; he needed to be a father, a provider.

Exactly a year had passed since the accident that shattered his world. His wife's life was cut short by a drunk driver, leaving Toji to navigate the overwhelming responsibilities of single parenthood. The pain lingered, an ever-present companion in his daily life.

Months of grief and depression had followed, a period where Toji lost himself in a haze of despair. He isolated himself, succumbing to the numbing embrace of alcohol and neglecting his basic needs. The memories of that time were a blur, a testament to the severity of his trauma.

Megumi, at seven years old, and Tsumiki, at eight, sought refuge with their grandparents during those dark days, visiting their father cautiously, ensuring he was in a state to be seen. It seemed as though everyone had given up on Toji, convinced he was a lost cause.

But one night, in the midst of his self-destructive routine, Toji's gaze landed on a family photo. His wife's smile and the innocent joy radiating from his children's faces pierced through his numbness. In that moment, a spark of clarity emerged, an epiphany that whispered of a responsibility he could not ignore.

Today, as he waited for his young children to join him in the rushed chaos of their morning routine, Toji carried the weight of the past year on his shoulders. The interview was not just about a job; it was a chance for redemption, a step towards reclaiming his role as a father and provider.

Toji needed to wake up from his stupor and get his life together. If not for himself, at least for Megumi and Tsumiki, who relied on him to be there for them. If their mother were still alive, she would have given him a good smack for neglecting their well-being. And so, fast forward to the present, and here he is, doing his darndest for them. Though despite his eagerness to start anew, job hunting hasn't been a very pleasant journey for Toji.

He has been going from interview to interview for five months, but luck hasn't been on his side until a week ago, when a company reached out to him, offering a possible job position. Of course, Toji immediately accepted and went through the application process almost right away, and so far, it's been going well. He passed the initial interview and panel interview, and even though the company is an hour away from his home address, they were more than willing to grant his preferred salary, and their company benefits weren't too shabby either.

It'll do for now.

Toji slows down the car as the kids’ school finally comes into view; he then turns to them for a second before focusing on the road again, “I won’t be able to pick you up later, okay? The interview I’ll be going to is fairly far from here so I might take a while considering the distance and traffic later. Grandma will come and fetch you. You can spend the night with them if you want too.”

Megumi nodded while his face was perpetually glued to his phone, “Okay.”

Tsumiki, on the other hand, flashes his dad an encouraging smile, “Best of luck, Dad!”

Toji softened at his daughter’s words of affirmation, “If I score this job, I will take you both out for dinner. You can choose whatever you want to eat.”

Upon hearing this, Megumi finally looked away from his phone and turned to his father with an expectant look on his face, “Really?”

Toji couldn’t help but snicker at his son’s reaction; he then reached out to him to gently tap his fist on his son’s chest, “A man never goes back on his words.”

After bidding his kids farewell, he set out for the neighboring city to attend his final interview. As he journeyed there, Toji couldn't help but feel a surge of nervousness. Uncharacteristically agitated, he found himself being snappy on the road, even verbally shouting at a car that changed lanes abruptly. The profanities he spewed might have left anyone who heard them scared for life, as Toji appeared scarier than he had ever been before.

However, another part of him was also angry at drivers in general, given what happened to his wife. If only they had been a little more responsible, she would still be by his side, reproaching him for losing his temper on the road.

To prevent any further thoughts of his late wife from plaguing his mind, Toji shook his head and directed all his attention and concentration towards the upcoming interview. He knew he couldn't erase memories of her forever, but for now, if he wanted to move forward and flourish, he needed to push any distracting thoughts to the back of his mind. For the sake of Megumi and Tsumiki, he was more than willing to compartmentalize the memories of their mother and focus solely on his new path ahead.

After an hour of driving, he finally arrived at his destination. Toji stood before the imposing building, his heart pounding wildly in his chest from nervousness. The rejections from his previous job applications had taken a toll on his self-esteem, despite having an impressive degree and a colorful, praiseworthy career.

Taking a deep, heavy sigh, Toji gathered his courage and pushed himself to enter the building, determined to give his best shot at acing the final interview.

"Mr. Toji Fushiguro? Ms. L/N, Y/N is ready to see you now. You may proceed to her office."

Toji acknowledged the secretary with a nod and a brisk "Got it," then rose from his seat to attend the final interview. The position at stake was Executive Assistant, a role that would place him directly under your supervision, offering a perfect opportunity to gauge compatibility.

"Good morning, Mr. Fushiguro," you greeted with a warm handshake, guiding him towards the chair near your desk. As you observed him, you detected a momentary blankness in his gaze, swiftly replaced by an intense focus as your eyes met. It was as if he had shifted gears, honing in on the upcoming interaction. His greeting, delivered in a husky tone, was accompanied by a faint smile, creating an intriguing dynamic in the room.

-

"Good morning to you too, Ms. L/N, Y/N. Nice to meet you," he responded.

You reciprocated with a polite smile. "Likewise. Please, make yourself comfortable. Let me know when you're ready, and we can begin."

Toji settled into the chair with ease, projecting an air of confidence that hinted at a dominant personality.

'Clearly the type who commands attention when entering a room,' you thought.

"Let's get started. I'm all set," Toji declared, prompting you to open his resume and delve into his credentials. As you scanned through his work history, your amazement grew evident. "It says here that you were the CEO of your own business. Can you shed some light on what happened there?"

His response was accompanied by an enigmatic expression, a blend of dread and detachment. Yet, as he began to speak, his voice resonated with confidence. "My wife passed away last year, and I wasn't in a position to sustain my business. I'd rather not delve into the details, if that's alright."

"Absolutely. We can keep it professional. My sincerest condolences," you replied, offering a genuine note of sympathy.

Toji met your gaze, a faint, crooked smile on his lips. "Thank you."

"Moving on, you have an impressive background in banking. What led you to shift to the HR sector?"

Toji leaned back, his eloquence shining through. "I wanted to explore new opportunities. Despite my extensive experience in banking, I'm no stranger to HR. I worked for a consulting firm, catering to financial clients. Later, I ran my own business. The shift seemed natural."

Your smile widened. "Your insights are invaluable, Mr. Fushiguro."

Toji responded with a charming smile. "The pleasure's mine, Y/N."

'Already on a first-name basis, huh?' you mused, managing to suppress a smirk.

As the final interview with Mr. Toji Fushiguro unfolded, you posed standard questions, delving into topics such as his availability and adaptability to a hybrid work setup, considering his role as a single father. Reassured by his commitment, he affirmed his ability to be onsite twice a week. Discussions extended to compensation and company benefits, both monetary and non-monetary, and concluded with a firm handshake, officially welcoming him to the company.

"Truthfully, you were practically a shoo-in for the job. Our final interviews are more of a formality, a gauge for compatibility with the supervisor and company culture. As you've proven, you passed with flying colors. Congratulations and welcome to JJK Holdings. Looking forward to working with you, Mr. Fushiguro."

Toji reciprocated the handshake with confidence, his smile widening. "Likewise. Thank you, Y/N."

With a final exchange of handshakes, you bid each other farewell. As Toji exited your office and disappeared from view, you glanced at your hand that had just shaken his. A faint blush crept across your cheeks, quickly dismissed as you refocused on the captivating city view outside your window.

"Looks like we've got a new face in the company," you joked aloud, addressing no one in particular. A chuckle escaped your lips at the lighthearted thought, keeping the atmosphere light.

'Focus, Y/N,' you reminded yourself, shaking off the momentary distraction.

Taking a deep breath, you let the welcomed intrigue of having Mr. Toji Hotshot Fushiguro on board settle in. He promised to be a valuable addition to the team, and optimism filled you as you considered the fresh perspective he would bring.

Throughout the day, as you managed various tasks and attended meetings, Toji's name kept surfacing in your thoughts. Beyond his impressive background and confidence during the interview, there was an underlying curiosity about the man behind the resume. At times, you felt a twinge of guilt, knowing he was still navigating grief and had other pressing priorities.

'Keep it professional,' you reminded yourself sternly, pushing aside personal musings. Nevertheless, a subtle anticipation lingered as you looked forward to working with Toji, eager to discover the dynamic he would introduce to the company.

-

After the successful interview, Toji headed home with a newfound sense of accomplishment that had eluded him for quite some time. Driving, he couldn't help but replay the conversation with you, his new boss. Your initial surprise at his former CEO position, the genuine condolences you offered, and the subtle interest you displayed in his career choices had all left him curious about the future interactions he might have with you.

From the moment Toji stepped into your office, he couldn't help but take notice. A commanding figure, you radiated a presence that demanded attention—confident, capable, and unyielding. It was a subtlety that impressed him, and as your eyes met, he caught a glint of curiosity that sparked something within him, a sensation he struggled to articulate.

During the interview, your insightful questions caught him off guard. Anticipating formality, he found himself letting his guard down as you delved into his past experiences. The subtle nods and genuine interest in your expressions were a rare quality, making him feel at ease and prompting him to open up in ways he hadn't in a long time.

Playful banter found its way into the conversation—an unexpected cheeky remark here and a witty response there. You weren't the typical stiff and formal interviewer, and Toji couldn't help but match your energy. The interview, meant to be serious business, transformed into something far more enjoyable. The interaction felt refreshing, like a breath of fresh air that swept away the heaviness he had carried for too long.

As the final handshake concluded and you bid each other farewell, Toji found himself lingering for a moment longer. There was a spark, a connection that transcended the professional setting. Whether it was the shared sense of humor or the way you seemed to understand him with gentle insight, he felt a thrill in the air—a glimmer of hope that had been dormant for too long.

'Well, well, Ms. Y/N, you've certainly piqued my interest,' Toji thought mischievously, a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his lips. 'Looks like this new job is going to be a whole lot more interesting than I thought.'

At home, Toji decided to channel his energy into some productive spring cleaning. It proved to be therapeutic, providing a welcome distraction to tidy up the house and clear his mind of the lingering stress from the whirlwind of emotions that accompanied the interview process. Polishing furniture, dusting shelves, and meticulously organizing the kids' rooms allowed him a sense of control he sorely needed.

Once the house felt fresh and inviting, Toji picked up Megumi and Tsumiki from their grandparents' house. The kids animatedly chatted about their day, but Toji's thoughts lingered on his new job and the memory of their late mother. Despite this, he made a conscious effort to engage in their conversation, injecting humor to elicit their laughter.

True to his promise, Toji treated them to a well-deserved pizza night at their favorite family restaurant. Settling into a cozy booth, he watched with softened eyes as his children eagerly selected their favorite toppings. Their happiness was infectious, bringing a genuine smile to his face.

Throughout dinner, playful banter flowed between Toji and the kids. He teased them, allowing them to reciprocate, creating a light-hearted atmosphere. As the pizza night concluded, they drove back home with contented hearts. Toji tucked his kids into bed, kissing their foreheads—a ritual he had embraced more religiously since his wife's passing. Though he might not express it verbally, his actions spoke volumes of his deep affection for them.

Stepping out of their room, he reflected on the new chapter awaiting him at JJK Holdings. His heart swelled with hope for a fresh start and an even brighter future, not just for himself but for Megumi and Tsumiki as well.

'Challenge accepted,' he thought with determination.

Tomorrow marked the beginning of his new journey, and he embraced it with open arms as he settled into his own bed. Thoughts buzzed with possibilities, eagerly anticipating what the future held for him and his children.

In the haze of drowsiness, his thoughts drifted to you.

"Will you haunt my dreams and slap me if I say my new boss is a feast for the eyes?" he blurted out, half-hoping the ghost of his late wife would hear him.

A soft chuckle escaped his lips, and moments later, sleep finally claimed him.

[corvivale]

HELLO OH MY GOD I ! completely forgot to set up asks here I’m . so sorryHEBDBAH

BUT YES !! I DO !! SO. SO MANY HEADCANONS. I’ll list a few of my favorites!!!!! :3

• cecil is the type of guy to Not get sick a lot— and I like to think it’s because of his weird immortality curse . like, he would get sick normally as a child, but after all of the horrors he went through, he just .. never really gets sick. once every blue moon however he gets a tiny little cold and he’s the biggest baby about it ever .just absolutely inconsolable. and carlos indulges him and encourages it every time by taking care of him btw

• cecil is AUDHD . thisisnt even a headcanon at this point this is just factual . I actually……. Have an entire paper about this in the works …… it is currently 16 pages long. let me know if any of you would be interested ..

• often whenever cecil is with carlos, he’ll keep his two main eyes focused on whatever he’s looking at in the moment, but he always has at least one of his extra eyes fondly locked on carlos at all times

• when cecilos first brought esteban home, cecil was an absolute WRECK. he was so filled with anxiety that he spent many sleepless nights just straight up sitting by his crib for hours staring at him to make sure he didn’t spontaneously combust or something. he was very overly protective and obsessively read every single baby book he could get his hands on cover to cover Multiple times. carlos got concerned about this and called abby about it and she told him that he was exactly the same way with janice when she was born, and he just needs to let cecil have his little freak out for now so he gets it all out of his system. eventually, cecil ends up so exhausted he conks out for several hours on the couch and then he’s just normal after that (mostly. he’s still an anxious freak at times and we love him for it)

• cecil was avg. weight during the very early years of wtnv, just like how he was described in the beginning, but I like to think he embodies the ‘character gains weight to signify they’re more fulfilled with life/happier now’ trope. depressed insecure isolated little weirdo in an apartment complex with 0 cooking skills —> more confident little weirdo with a loving husband who cooks for him and reminds him to take care of himself when he forgets/doesn’t feel like it . something something now that he’s with carlos he’s actually aging and changing and growing now .. something something he rediscovered his humanity with carlos… etc….

• part of cecil’s love language is Definitely jjst . sharing sweet little drowsy moments with carlos. those quaint, ‘domestic bliss’ mornings he wakes up to— seeing carlos lay beside him with his hair all frizzy from sleep, brewing a warm cup of coffee in the morning while carlos makes breakfast, cuddling and sleeping in on lazy days .. you get the gist. I like to think he loves little cat nap moments as well- just curling up on the couch, intertwined with one another, the only sound in the room being their respective breathing and heartbeats. it helps cecil relieve a lot of pent up tension

• cecil sleep-hosts sometimes. like carlos will wake up to cecil very drowsily mumbling the details of last week’s community calendar or some shit, completely knocked out. he’s perfect

• since cecil can’t cook very well he definitely is just like an annoying cat every time carlos cooks/bakes. like, carlos will be making something, and cecil will either be standing very close behind him looking over his shoulder, or he’ll be sitting up on the counter beside him licking the spoon or something

• ^ on that note I feel like a lot of their dynamic is jsut. ‘carlos doing something productive while cecil either watches or just sits with him enjoying his company.’ like their afternoons consist of carlos sitting on the couch reading a book while mindlessly playing with cecil’s hair, cecil’s head draped against his lap, and both of them are completely silent. they just like being together! carlos’ love language is more tied into his work and getting things done/achieving some sort of practical goal, while cecil just enjoys being along for the ride

• cecil emotes vaguely like a cat. his tail perks up/gets all puffy when he’s startled, his pupils cartoonishly dilate depending on his mood, his tail flicks at the tip sometimes when he’s just stationary/bored/focused and lashes when he’s agitated, etc.

• cecil is AFAB, and has had top surgery! I draw him with top surgery scars, and I don’t know I just think it weirdly makes sense ? anyway . he’s genderqueer and he has a very lax relationship with gender in which he doesn’t really understand why people make such a big deal out of it, and however people address him is typically fine with him!

• since cecil is very artistic and he often expresses his creative writing skills on the radio, I like to think he writes carlos little meaningful poems and prose here and there<3

• due to his ADHD cecil is often forgetful and has to be (lightly) assisted with tasks sometimes. he’s the type of guy to leave untouched, completely full cups of liquid all over the place, having forgotten he made them (me too girl). carlos makes him very specific and written down grocery lists and gives him gentle reminders about things when he needs to, and cecil is very thankful for his patience. any time cecil messes up on something, he gets really upset and self-critical about it, but carlos is always there to reassure him it’s alright and it’s no big deal and they’ll figure something out

• ^ cecil takes stimulant medication and an antidepressant! just like me fr

• cecil is somewhat strict about routine and can grow pretty distressed when plans spontaneously change. I feel like carlos and cecil are on opposite sides of the spectrum when it comes to this, so like. he and carlos will have a plan to do something but last minute carlos is like “hey what if we did [] instead for [insert more practical reason]” and cecil is like “uh no what no what. That is not the plan!!”

• ^ another thing like this is .carlos will try and be helpful and like organize cecil’s space for him without telling him about it in advance but when cecil sees his space organized he’s like really freaked out about it because yeah it was messy but it was methodical. he knew where everything was but now he doesn’t and oh god ohhh no change bad

all of this is just shameless projection. btw .let me know if you all would want more of these ..? I have.too many

ALSO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK!! THIS WAS A VERY FUN POST TO MAKE:) @www-pinkhearse

[lyrical-fanfics]

Comforting a depressed partner

So I've been having a bit of a depressive episode, and I've been having a hard time, so I decided to make a quick HC of what the TWST boys would do if you were in the same situation.

Heartslaybul | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia | Pomefiore | Ignihyde | ✨Diasomnia✨

💚 Diasomnia Boys💚

Malleus

He knows something is wrong but doesn't exactly put a name to it.

He's instantly concerned, protective, and producing solutions that he's only able to implement because he's Malleus.

One such solution was to have you call upon him instantly by simply speaking his name into the wind, and he's there.

He gets you moving a bit by lifting you into his arms and swaying a bit to an inaudible tune, but if you need to sleep, he'll place you in his arms, and encourage you to rest.

he'll drag his fingers across your jaw and face, catching any tears, aching any pains, and quelling all anxieties.

He has a bad habit though of not telling people where he is if he's caring for you at his place, and if you're with him, he won't tell anyone you're there so that he's the only one caring for you

"No need to move if you cannot, I will be here in mere moments if you call upon me... Although Lilia tells me movement can help, so come into my arms, I'll support you in this time."

Silver

He's really trying his best, but he becomes especially frustrated with himself when his narcoleptic tendencies sprout up.

He's asking you questions about what you need, and he's being as much of a knight in shining armor as he can be, but there's nothing physical to fight, and that frustrates him.

He wants nothing more than to take it all away with one swing of a sword, but until then, he gently kisses your hand, hair, or forehead while you sleep, worried he'll break your moment of rest.

As he helps you, he gets more used to it and eventually becomes a pro. He works hard to read your moods, your cravings, to learn everything he can, just so he can be that knight in shining armor once again, even if it means knowing when to step back so someone else can help

"... Ah! Sorry, I dozed off again... how was your appointment?... What were the tools you were given? can I assist in any way? ... I'll do that. Please, if there's anything I can do, tell me."

Sebek

Much like Silver, he's upset that there isn't anything physical he can fight to make it all go away.

He's quiet for once while he cares for you, trying to think of anything to make you feel better.

When you ask what's wrong, he yells that you shouldn't be asking him that question when you're the one who's currently suffering. (Suffering is a bit dramatic in your eyes, but you let it be).

He tries his best to listen, but ends up trying to force his own ideas onto you, but is quickly reprimanded when Lilia finds out.

after being reprimanded, he'll probably be a bit lost, so some guidance will be needed.

He's a bit torn between seeing over you, and watching over Malleus, but Malleus gives him time off each day to come and care for you

He's one to kiss your hand when it ends up in his, squeezing it, and intertwining his fingers with yours.

"Human! I am here!... I was given time off by My Lord to come and visit you... Although I admit I have no idea what to do. They scolded me for yesterday... What can I do for you today?"

Lilia

He's very used to caring for others, but lord forbid he thinks you need to eat something he makes.

He might confuse your refusal to eat his food with a loss of appetite, but the rest of Diasomnia will convince him to get food that wasn't made by him.

He's one to randomly show up and start caressing any exposed skin, whispering comforting words into your ear, and then try and get you moving just a little bit.

If he startles you, he takes that as a success.

His lighthearted approach masks his pain that he can't do much beyond what he's already doing.

He'll want you to lean against him while sitting, just so he can kiss the crown of your head and keep an eye on your appetite and medicine.

"You didn't eat what I made you? Oh! not a bad reaction, but still not where it was before... I brought you something else, Silver insisted. come here, I'm yours for a little bit."

[cobawrites]

A Gust of Wind (Vash x Reader), Chapter 1

Vash x Reader, GN! Reader, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn Romance, TW: Mental Illness, TW: Suicidal Ideation. Reader awakens to an unfamiliar world, left alone and struggling with mental illness from before the crash. Vash emerges as a guiding light for Reader, and vice versa.

Chp. 1 >> Next

Hello all! This is my first Trigun fic. My first fic in a long time, actually! I’m probably in for the long haul with this story, so I wanted to be careful about how I construct (Y/N)’s history and stuff. Can’t have any pesky plot holes! Because of this, Vash doesn’t appear until the later half of the first chapter, but worry not! He’ll get way more time to shine in the coming chapters. And I have several sweet and fluffy scenes planned out hehehehe~!

But before we get to those scenes, I have to give you guys a fair trigger warning: this fic is going to deal with some potentially triggering topics. This includes descriptions of suicidal ideation, attempted suicide, and heavy themes of anxiety and depression. Mental illness stuff in general. This fic goes out to all my peeps who struggle with these things. I poured a lot of my personal experiences into this, and I’m sure many of you will be able to put yourself in (Y/N)’s shoes as well. Expect Vash and (Y/N) to butt heads over this stuff as their ideologies mix like oil and water.

Oh, and I am going to try to keep things as gender neutral as possible. If I slip up anywhere, do let me know and I’ll fix it!

________________________________________________________________

                    By clicking “Keep Reading”, you agree to the warnings.

________________________________________________________________

                                                    A Gust of Wind

                                                        Chapter 1

Hollow footsteps echoed the walls of the now empty ship, the remains beaten and weathered by who knows how many years. Just how long had it been since the accident that stranded you and your loved ones on this desolate planet? Having been sealed away in a cryo-chamber since before the crash, it was hard to tell. Eventually, the chamber failed, and you had awoken to… this.

Kneeling on the ground, you carefully placed down a bouquet of handmade paper flowers. Wisterias were your mother’s favorites. You’d spent all day trying to get them right. It was the least you could do for her, and for the rest of your family that was not quite as lucky as you were.

Lucky… what a funny word.

How you wished you could have been there. How you wished you could have shared in their final moments together. How you wished you could have ended it all with them by your side…

Instead, here you were. Each tap of your soles echoing louder and louder against the metal floor as you descended these lonely halls once again. Blurry memories, although clouded by years spent in a failing cryo-chamber, still managed to haunt your every step like lucid dreams.

Your hand tightened on the strap of the bag slung over your shoulder as you took once last look back at the ship. It might have made more sense to stay. There were a number of unexpectedly well-preserved supplies aboard the ship. Still, part of you simply couldn’t bear it, and part of you knew that you didn’t deserve to intrude on the scene you were leaving behind: your family’s bones, intertwined in a timeless embrace. A still life painting of what looked to have been a quick and painless death. One moment, holding each other with tender love. And in the next, their souls freed like a gust of wind.

Not here. You wouldn’t do it here. You couldn’t do it here.

And so, you took your first step out into the harsh new world that awaited you.

On a planet with two suns, it was hard to keep track of how many days had passed. Not only was the drowsy heat impairing your judgement, but the days seemed to stretch on forever. Whatever semblance of time you had was lost to the wind.

Wind… Now that was something. One of the few things on this planet that gave respite from the blistering heat. You lifted the edge of your shirt to feel it swell up underneath, your sweat cool against your skin. This place would do just fine. The cliffs were tall, and the wind was strong.

Slowly, your weary limbs carried you to the top of the tallest cliff. The way the ground crunched underneath you. The way the breeze peppered light kissed across your face. Everything was just right. It may not have been the way you’d imagined it would be, exactly, but it was better this way. With no one left to weigh upon your shoulders. With no one left who would miss you when you were gone. With no one left to stop you and force you into that god forsaken cryo-chamber.

Anger pulsed through your veins for a second, and the resentment you held for the ones you were supposed to love came crashing down on you like the ocean waves you���d only ever read about. Who were they to decide who lives and who dies? If you wanted to kick rocks, that was your own goddamned choice.

But just as quickly as it came, it was gone again. Images of your mother’s face surfaced from the torrents in your heart. Who were they? They were your family, of course. You just wished… You just wished they understood. Some of us are just born that way. And not everyone is strong enough to power through it.

But now you didn’t have to be strong. When you first came across their bodies, with the belongings in their pockets as the only identifiers, you didn’t know how to feel. Every emotion you had was bottlenecked on its way to the surface, and so you stared. You sat there, and you stared for hours. Was it sorrow? Loneliness? Fear? Or was it a sick sense of relief? A mere glimpse of their newfound freedom that reinforced your longing for the same.

A steep cliff laid before you. Dust crumbled out from below the rocks and down a deep chasm, one that didn’t seem to be carved by a river of any sort, but by something else. Whatever that something was, it didn’t matter to you. Closing your eyes, you took one step forward.

“MAMA! HELP!”

A child’s voice rang loudly across the cliff walls. Startled, your eyes fluttered open, frantically scanning the cliffs below you for the source of the sound. By god, you were about to commit suicide in front of a child. A fucking child.

Heart now pounding in your ears, you spotted a small boy of no more than seven, surrounded by what looked like giant… silverfish? Crayfish? What the hell were those things?

With the speed at which they were closing in on the boy, you had no time to mull it over. Quickly, you picked up a large rock and flung it as hard as you could toward the largest aggressor, your tired muscles reinvigorated by the sudden burst of adrenaline.

It was no good. The beasts paused for only a few seconds, then continued closing in on their prey. You lunged more rocks down at them to stall for time, and bolted down the most leveled side of the cliff, eating dirt a few times as you went.

As you hastened to close the gap between you and the boy, you opened one of your bag’s pockets to pull a large knife. Those creatures’ shells looked awfully hard, but the knife would be better than nothing at all. Casting the bag aside, you lunged at the smallest of the pack with reckless abandon, stabbing it between its armor-like plates. It writhed underneath you, trying to shake you off. Half of the beasts turned away from the boy and rushed in your direction.

“Run, kid!” You yelled at the top of your lungs, clinging desperately to the creature’s back as the others tried to claw at you. The boy, panic written all over his face, stared in horror with tears in his eyes, and glued hopelessly to the floor. The beasts that were still trained on him dragged jagged appendages across the rocks as they drew closer, as if sharpening them in anticipation of their next meal.

Frustrated, you stabbed another beast in its soft belly as it lunged forward, and rolled out from underneath it just in time. That move, however, left you without a weapon, as it stayed lodged firmly in the wound.

“Oh, screw this!” You grunted as you dodged another beast and bolted toward the child. You vaulted over one of the creatures surrounding the boy, extremely grateful for the immense amount of cardio you did whenever you needed an emotional outlet. Not that you were grateful for the crippling anxiety that made you run yourself into the ground just to sleep at night. But at least your dreadful lot in life could finally be put to good use.

Light on your feet, you made a mad dash toward the boy and scooped him up, not looking back. There! You spotted a way back up the cliffs where a woman stood flinging rocks at the beasts behind you. The path was rather steep and it still had indentations where rocks had likely come loose mere moments ago. It was unsafe, but the situation behind you was even less so.

“Hold on tight, kiddo!” You said, leaping up to the first foothold. The boy clung desperately to anything he could get a hold of, stabbing his small little fingers into your flesh like needles. Good. At least you could be certain he wouldn’t fall.

Scrambling up the cliff by whatever means necessary, lacking any grace at all, you climbed as fast as you could. The scraping sounds of their armored claws were getting closer and closer. Your heart felt as though it was about to burst out of your chest.

With the top of the cliff in sight, you tried your best to focus on the final stretch, but a pincer suddenly crashed into the cliff wall beside you. The child screamed and cried. It had grazed his arm and drawn blood. Not good. They were hot on your heels. Light-headed from exhaustion, you pried the boy off you and tossed him up into his mother’s arms with the last of your strength. The woman quickly set him down, instructing him to run, and she reached for your arm next. But she missed.

A pincer closed around your left leg and began dragging you down the cliff, knocking the wind out of you with a heavy thud. With no strength left to fight, you let it happen. Half from exhaustion, but half from a sense of relief. Your family couldn’t be mad at you now. You’d made your death count.

But from the corner of your eye, you noticed that some of the beasts weren’t satisfied with just you as their meal. They continued past you and up the cliff toward the woman and the boy. This couldn’t be happening. Not after you tried so hard to save them.

You struggled against the beast’s claws, flailing to free your leg, and clutching at the rocks to prevent it from dragging you further down the cliff. Frustrated tears pooled in your eyes, the boy’s panic-stricken face flashing vividly in your memory.

Suddenly, you heard several loud bangs in the distance. Some of the creatures fell off the side of the cliff, and some scurried off. A blond head popped out from above the cliff and pulled a revolver on the beast dragging your leg. With skilled gunmanship you’d never seen before, he hit the pincers dead on, missing your leg by a hair. The blond man hopped down to the foothold closest to you and pulled you up. You tried muttering a thank you, but you were so winded that nothing came out but a dusty cough.

“Are you okay?” He asked, holding you steady. You nodded to save your breath, legs still shaking uncontrollably. He smiled and pulled you flush against his chest with one arm and scooped up your legs with the other. If you weren’t so dizzy, you might have blushed.

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you up.” He said, and with a single, elegant leap that made him look not quite human, he landed on the clifftop.

Carefully, he placed your feet on solid ground. “Can you walk?” You nodded, and tried to take a step, but your jelly legs betrayed you.

He tutted and took you into his arms once again. “I guess you’ll just have to be my little prince(x) for the time being, yeah?” He teased with a wink. This time, a furious blush spread across your face. No way. You were not about to be carried bridal style by a stranger.

“No, I can walk! I swear!” You insisted, and wiggled out of his arms, cheeks scorching hot. But your legs betrayed you a second time, and you collapsed on the floor.

“Goodness, Vash, they sure are a stubborn one!” Said the woman, coming your way to check up on you after having wrapped a bandage on her son’s arm. “A real fighter in more ways than one!”

They both chuckled, and the woman kneeled beside you. “Thank you both for coming to our aid. And Vash, I can’t believe we’ve had to rely on you twice now. You must think I’m a terrible mother…”

“Not at all, Marlene. But you two really should be more careful. It’s not safe to scavenge in this area. There are more worms here than usual, and they grow bigger, too.” He explained as he kneeled down to get a better look at your leg. Vash’s hand brushed over your ankle to assess the damage, causing you to wince in pain. He glanced at you apologetically, before pulling some first aid supplies from his bag.

“I know, my boy. But we hardly have any food in our town to go around. No plant to rely on…” She responded solemnly. “I only wish I could convince the little one to stay behind, but he insists on coming with me. Says he needs to learn how to be the man of the house now that his father is gone.”

Vash furrowed his brows, a regretful look on his face. “Admirable, but little George’s got some big shoes to fill. There’s nothing wrong with recognizing that.” He said, offering a kind smile in his direction.

George, now awkwardly nursing his bandaged arm a few meters away from everyone else, averted his eyes to the ground. “I’m really sorry, Mr. Vash,” he whispered. “I… I’ll be more careful next time. I promise.”

Together, Vash and Marlene got to work on your injured leg, cleaning off the dirt and grime left behind by the worms, or whatever those disgusting creatures were called. While they worked, Vash glanced at you all over with an unreadable look in his eyes, spending longer than normal on the logo on your chest. With your ankle now bandaged snugly, he moved to pick you up again, but you scrambled away. This earned you an exasperated look from Vash.

“Listen, I’m not going to pull any smooth moves on you, okay? So you can just relax.”

“No, it’s not that! It’s just –,” you started, but he cut you off.

“I don’t want to hear it,” he said, and picked you up from the ground as if you weighed no more than a feather. This guy was something else. “You’re injured. I’m taking you back with us. And we’re doing this the right way so you don’t get hurt any more than you already are.”

You shook your head feverishly. “I’m actually fine, just shaken,” you insisted, pushing against his chest in protest. “It’s more nerves than anything else! I just need to sit down for a while, that’s all.”

Vash stared quizzically into your eyes. “Hmmm… Okay then. If you’re sure,” he finally agreed, setting you down gently. Mustering all the strength you had left, you steadied your legs and bit back the pain as you walked over to find a seat on some rocks.

“But aren’t you coming back with us, sweetheart?” Marlene asked. “It will be dark soon. It’s dangerous. We should really be going.”

“I… I have some business here,” you said with a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “Don’t worry about me. I’m just glad I was able to help at all.” At this, Vash chewed his lip, not once taking his eyes off yours. The weight of his gaze was too much to bear. Unnerved, you looked away.

“And what’s your name, sweetie? If you won’t let us treat you to a good night’s rest back in town, at least give us that.” She said.

“(Y/N),” you replied, rubbing the back of your neck sheepishly.

“Well, (Y/N), you are always welcome in our village. It is just west of here, in case you change your mind.

You nodded with a smile, and with that, they were off. You were alone again, and you had a late nigh rendezvous with the cliffs. The nearest cliff wasn’t nearly steep enough to do the job. You sighed. Getting back to your spot… was going to take some time. Best get moving.

[oursmallworldadventures]

I’m in love with the idea of romance.

I’m in love with the idea of intimacy.

I’m in love with the idea of love.

I’m in love with the idea that two people can love each other so much that they literally change their lives just enough to include each other in every future plan, idea, and escapade for the rest of their lives.

I’m in love with the idea that you can meet a perfect stranger one day and with enough time, that person’s life could just become intertwined with yours as you fall deeper and deeper into love with this person, devoting your life not to just worshipping them like a love-struck Shakespearian teenage romance, but to actually building a life together with them, to make memories, share holidays, experience birthdays, celebrations, arguments, moments of mourning, days absolute boredom, through sickness, health, depression, delusion, absolute bliss, indescribable happiness, incomprehensible pleasure, insomnia, anxiety, hardships, lucky days, good evenings, groggy mornings, rainy days, sunny seasons, moonlit nights, sips of coffee, glasses of wine, cups of cocoa, bowls of popcorn, Tupperware dinners, budget cuts, and super sexy sweatpants and oversized t-shirt nights with movie marathons, Netflix binges or YouTube browsing.

I’m in love with the idea that it doesn’t matter if a couple is: super affectionate, more laid-back, super nerdy with video games D&D, cosplaying, larping, conventions, anime and collectibles, really into adventure, outdoors, hiking, camping or sports, really into celebrities with concerts, clubs, social media and movies, really into emo bands, raves, cars, fixing things, hard work or even being independent… there’s always someone out there for everyone. Even if you go to church on Sundays, only eat plant-based options, swear like a sailor, devote your life to animals or even travel the world in a beat-up camper, van, or motorhome… there is always somebody out there who matches your energy who would love to spend forever with you being a partner, an equal or being exactly what you want/need/are willing to accept into your life.

I am in love with these ideas of love and how love is and forever will be a constantly changing idea and construct or feeling that differs by each and every single person but for every single person who feels a certain way of love, there is at least ONE additional person (if not more) who matches them perfectly somewhere in the world.

I’m not in love with the fact that every day I am so lonely and it’s been here for so long that I now somewhat feels as if it’s just a part of me that I need to just accept. To have someone to love who loves you back. I crave this in my life yet I’ve spent such a long time dreaming about it I’m not sure if that is achievable for me or if it even exists anymore. I just sit here now and the only words I can even remotely understand anymore are “Mortality Salience”.

[meowzfordayz]

they comfort you after you receive bad news — tanjirou, giyuu

Author’s Note: a lot of angst, a lot of comfort. 🥺

they comfort you after you receive bad news — tanjirou, giyuu

Kamado Tanjirou x Reader, Tomioka Giyuu x Reader

Word Count: ~600

CW: death content

Emergency Request Fulfilled: I learned I may,  um, kick the bucket soon because of a disease, so can I get comfort from Tanjiro and Giyuu (Separately?)

~faqs, image~

Tanjirou’s shocked expression does little to quell the anxiety boiling in your stomach, concern and fear in his gaze an aching reminder of what you had to lose — of what would inevitably be lost.

“Tanjirou?”

You hate how soft and lost your voice sounds, bitterness sharper in your mind than in practice.

“What do you need from me?” he asks, almost softer than you, “What do you want?”

You blink once, twice, throat constricting, pressure building in the dent between your brows.

“Sweetheart,” teetering on the same edge beside you, “Let me be afraid with you,” heat sweltering as he tugs you sudden and certain into his chest, “I love you.”

“Love isn’t enough.”

You hope your harshness can combat the tenderness in his closeness; hope your resentment can wither the tendrils of his devotion.

“I hope you move on,” you snap coolly, stiff against his warm and welcoming frame, “I hope you love somebody else,” choking on the truth of your regret, melting into his adoration with loathing and despair.

“Of course,” he murmurs quietly, “I know you don’t want me to suffer,” teardrops dampening your hair, “I know you need me to be okay,” still holding you, still loving you, “I can move forward, I can love again,” the first glower of anger darkening his tone as his eyes squeeze shut, “But do not ask me to forget you. Do not ask me to cleanse my memories of your kindness, the feeling of your touches, the scent of your affection. I could never unlove you. I refuse.”

Words disintegrate from the tip of your tongue, strangled wail swallowed by the familiarity of Tanjirou’s haori, nose scrunched and dripping. Strong hands cup your jaw, calloused thumbs stroking your cheeks, forehead pressed hard and desperate to yours, as though sharing his breaths with you could slow time. As though giving you his forever could tether you together. An embrace to make up for forever. To make up for what was gradually, eventually, already ebbing away.

“That makes two of us, I suppose.”

“Giyuu…”

A quiet smile shadows your hushed response, familiar sadness dwelling in the corners of his vision as his arms tighten around your waist. His chest rises and falls with a smooth cadence against your back, cheek pressed cool to yours, chin digging lightly into your shoulder.

“It is what it is.”

Sighing softly, you poke at his thigh, “You’re not doing a great job at comforting me.”

“I know,” he states simply I’m sorry soundless and heavy.

Taking his hand, you chuckle bitterly, “Look at us, a depressing pile of depression,” moonlight shining delicate and forgiving across his scarred knuckles, “At least you’re still beautiful.”

“We’ll always be beautiful,” he murmurs, almost inaudible, “Whether intertwined as we are here, or dancing together among the stars.”

Your rib cage expands with a gentle sob, body sinking deeper into his lap, bones weary with the weight of wishing you had more time. Dampness drips onto your fingers as Giyuu nuzzles into your warmth, intangible promise seeping into your skin with every teardrop gifted in private silence.

“I love you,” you whisper.

And I love you he vows, baby hairs tickling his lips as he kisses your neck, “For that, I wouldn’t change a thing.”

[astyrial]

seashell pick me up minho x thomas (fluff) synopsis: minho finds a way to make thomas smile word count: 1k warnings: mentions of death, representation of depression masterlist | requests are open inspired by @adoresbenho’s post

    the need for survival was all the gladers had time for. sent to an unknown island with unknown predators, they were completely building a society. for months everyone was working hard to build huts and places to eat. some nights were set aside for replica bonfire nights, but there wasn't much other time for activities. 

  activities in which they're truly living, living for those who couldn't. thomas couldn't wrap his head around it at first. since newt's death and theresa's death all he did was busy himself. even if it was just piling more wood into the bonfire or fixing a crooked table sitting in his hut. and no one could pick up the anxiety building within the teenager. 

  except for minho. having gone through the same tragedies, sticking with thomas from beginning to end, it became surprisingly easy for him to pick up on the cues that were so minute. somehow when thomas' heart would begin to race and he would feel upset, minho would be there trying to cheer him up.

  and one of the places that minho observed that thomas went to usually was the beach. he would go there to wallow a little, wonder what could've happened if the events had been different. so to combat the feelings of guilt, minho started hanging out at the beach with him. 

  whether it be just sitting by the water or even jumping into the waves, he was there for his friend, partner. one thing he began to notice was just how much thomas enjoyed it when minho would jump in and show him a couple of the seashells he would find. mask on, red lines left on his face, and a large smile still there, he couldn't help but smile as well.

  to enhance this feeling, he started handing them off to thomas to keep. some were smaller than others, some with swirls, while others looked similar to clams. "here, why don't you keep this one?" minho asks, slowly making his way out of the water. 

  thomas grabs a hold of the shell, his eyes glistening as the water reflects the evening sun, "alright, i'll put it in my hut, maybe a table. thanks," he widens his eyes a little, trying to hide the very appreciative feeling that swirls through his stomach. 

  and then minho just kept doing it. exchanging smiles and seashells, growing closer, the goggles still leaving marks behind. suddenly everyone begins to notice that thomas is more relaxed. at bonfires he sits back laughing with minho and frypan. he'll lay in the sand and for once his mind is no longer overrun with intrusive thoughts. 

  "you seem happier," minho finally says, walking up to thomas as his legs stay stretched out. 

  thomas looks up at the previous keeper, his hands on his hips and a small smile stretches across his face. he reaches out a hand and pats the sand beside him, wanting minho to sit down next to him, "i am, thanks to a certain someone."

  "frypan? i knew his food could cure all but didn't know it was this good," minho laughs a little as he sits down, his legs crossing to resemble a pretzel. thomas quickly follows suit and crosses his legs, his fingers playing with the sand in front of him. 

  "i was trying to be nice and you ruined the moment," he pushes minho's shoulder with his, shaking his head in annoyance at minho's antics.

  minho looks over at thomas, his eyes closing slowly as he breaths in for a second, truly appreciating the ocean air. he reaches out and grabs thomas' hand, their fingers intertwining as they stare out into the ocean. neither of them look over, afraid to say anything about what's happening.

  "thanks.. i hate to see you in the dumps like that.. you're my closest- you're the closest person to me. and so i gotta protect my interests, you know?" minho glances over at thomas and feels his heart quicken at the mere sight of him. 

  thomas glances back, his free hand now playing with a seashell that sits in his pocket. it's small, round, and perfectly sized for carrying around. "yeah, of course. i don't think i've ever been like this with someone. been close enough to take a million seashells from and store them in my room. which i don't need more of by the way-"

  it doesn't take long for minho to laugh, knowing that thomas is completely right about that. "are you sure? because i can dive right in now," he looks over to see thomas lowering his head and laughing. 

  "you're ridiculous minho, and i love you so much for it," thomas doesn't even think before speaking, the words vomiting out as if he had no self control anymore.

  minho raises his eyebrows looking over at the concerned teen. minho had felt this way about thomas for so long but couldn't say anything because they never had the time to do anything about it. fighting cranks, wicked, and every creature they could create. but now, the two of them are sitting on a beach with nothing else to do but talk. 

  "i, well i love you too," minho softens a little and he can finally show thomas a smile of relief, his hand squeezing his just a little bit tighter, "but you don't want anymore seashells so i guess that's the end of that."

  thomas narrows his eyebrows, his mouth slightly agape at minho, "you're ridiculous. this is not happening because of seashells."

  "it is so happening because of seashells," minho smiles wholeheartedly to thomas, the sun finally half way down the horizon, only a beautiful ombré can be seen. thomas leans over and rests his head on minho’s shoulder.

  the two of them sit there, their eyes not breaking from the sun and the animals breaching the surface of the water. and finally they realize that they are living. they’re living for those who couldn’t. they’re living for each other, and that’s really all the two of them could ask for. 

[captain039]

Souls coming together

Ascended Vampire Duke!Astarion x human!reader

(Intertwined with a mortal continuation read part one here)

Warnings: Olden times, age gap, lots of feels, angst, working through trauma, tension, sexual, oral f-receiving, marriage, Astarions trauma and issues, body shaming, harassment, anxiety’s and depression, lotta issues xD,

(Should I make a Wyll story like this?)

The social season was continuing on, lords and lady’s were finding their matches and spending quality time with their matches as their bonds strengthened, or depleted. Seems this season was up and down for most of the lady’s, whatever was in the air was toxic.

You’d had a total of five dances with the duke after his ‘proposal’ you felt like he was still a mystery though. You knew of his confliction though, his vampirism, his emotional side, his non-talkative side, his dick head side and you still knew nothing. He thankfully hasn’t given you any midnight visits in your room again, though the only time you spent together was dinner or at a party. At dinner he would put on a perfect act, smile and speak about his trades and life that you felt like he made up. When asked about his parents you felt his anxiety’s like your own, before he’d cover it with a story you didn’t believe one bit. You hated his perfect act, not when you’ve seen him so broken and he’s seen you so broken, maybe it’d all been for naught.

There was yet another party tonight, you hated it even more now you were dancing with the duke. People would whisper about you, they never said anything nice. They’d say you were just looking for attention, that you were just another bed warmer, seeking high company because you looked the way you did. It all hurt, their words stung you like bees. You weren’t right for the duke, not in looks, personality, anything really, you were opposites. When the duke would initiate a dance you disliked it, hated how the people talked, the older lady’s whispering, giggling or glaring. You would stare at his chest or the floor, you’d try to focus on his scent, his coolness, but it never worked. The whispers felt like loud laughter and snarky comments echoing in your mind, their looks were enough to send you to your knees had you not been held up, and all the while you felt like the duke never noticed, or didn’t care, after all he was ‘stuck with you’.

This party felt worse than the rest, it was clear now who was getting with who, what matches worked and what ones didn’t, gossip flying around like flys to food. Your family had suffered also, whispers about them led your mother to be embarrassed and ashamed while your father tried to hold it all together and talk such gossip away, but lady’s were lady’s.

You stood by Jen and Karlach sipping the sparkling fruit juice that was on the table. You didn’t see or sense the duke tonight and for some reason you felt happy about it, relieved. Jen and Karlach were talking while you simply listened before you saw Duke Ravengard coming over.

“Lady’s” he greeted with a smile, the omega lady Lila on his arms smiling also.

“Duke Ravengard” Jen bowed respectfully as did Karlach before he looked to you. You smiled at the couple, greeting them also.

“So has there been a proposal yet?” Jen said cheekily with a slight smirk making the poor omega flush embarrassed and Wyll chuckle nervously.

“Not yet” he said.

“Soon hopefully” Lady Lila said and you nodded smiling, but found a bittersweet jealousy lodged in your mind.

“I was just coming over if you’d like a dance, Lady Y/n, Duke Ancunin doesn’t seem to be here” Wyll said with a frown glancing over the crowd.

“Oh, no that’s highly inappropriate-“ you nodded to Lady Lila who smiled brightly shaking her head.

“Nonsense I do not mind, besides I need a drink” she said as she let Wylls arm go and pushed his hand out to you.

“Be my guest” she chuckled and you gulped, but nodded. You to the dukes hand feeling the familiar warmth. A country song began to play and the dance was more upbeat than the last as you began. You felt the stared the murmurs, going in a circle you heard some of their words.

“Stealing an already taken duke? Gods”

“Who does she think she is?”

“Like the duke would ever willingly dance with her, her family probably paid him”

“Looking like that? Most certainly had some agreement”

“Thought she was warming Duke Ancunin bed”

You stopped when the comments became too much, tears in your eyes as you rushed out the home, Duke Ravengard calling to you.

You ran into the gardens and sobbed, leaning against the small garden shed. You cried softly hanging your head in shame.

“Lady-“ you heard Duke Ravengard and looked up seeing him. He spotted you and you took off again, gods why was he out here?

“Gods go away!” You said as he followed you a frown on his face.

“Can’t you hear them?!” You snapped as he looked to you.

“It was a simple dance” he said and you scoffed.

“Duke Ravengard” you felt your body shudder at the sound of your vampire mate, he wore a black and red suit with silver embroidery.

“Duke Ancunin” Wyll nodded.

“Is something the matter?” Duke Ancunin looked to you as you spoke and you sighed.

“Alone again in the garden with two men! Truely I will be more to talk about, please, just go” you said sagging. Duke Ravengard nodded with a sad look on his face and left while your vampire mate stayed.

“What has happened?” He asked walking closer making you tense.

“Did you not hear a word I just said?” You asked.

“I did, however you are in distress, your scent is like rotten cakes and you’re trembling” he said glancing over you as he stood in front of you.

“Now, tell me what happened” he said eyes gazing at you. You cursed him silently and looked away, praying nobody would come.

“Silly womanly things you shouldn’t concern yourself with” you huffed arms crossing and resting by your stomach. He took a small breath, like he was sniffing.

“You’re not on your cycle or due” he said and you felt your cheeks burn.

“You don’t know that!” You said embarrassed.

“I would smell your slick, the change in your scent” he grinned lightly and you glared.

“That doesn’t matter, that’s not what I’m talking about either! Gods!” You groaned almost wanting to stomp your foot.

“You’re a man, a wealthy man you have no worries, now please leave before someone comes and decides to gossip more!” You huffed feeling your shoulders sag.

“What are they speaking about? You?” He asked head tilted and you stared at him, was he interested? Now?!

“You care now?” You blurted before you instantly regretted it and saw hurt flash across his face.

“Astar- Duke Ancunin please leave” you said gesturing to the exit as he narrowed his eyes.

“Why must you be so stubborn?” He tsked and you glared.

“Why must you be such an asshole?” You put your hands on your hips and gave him a look. He kept your gaze and you almost cracked till he chuckled lightly.

“Cheeky little pup” he said and you felt your cheeks go hot again.

“Perhaps we should talk tonight, after this party?” He said a new seriousness in his tone, an unknown look in his face also.

“I- alright” you sighed.

“After the party how?” You asked confused and he smiled.

“A late night visit” he simply said beginning to walk away leaving you with your mouth hung open.

Next part ->

[hxhhasmysoul]

Just see this in twitter by someone :

"Why do people read shonen for subtextual doomed yaoi click bait when X exists and you don’t have to pretend?"

"I'm starting to think maybe people should read actual BL manga. perhaps considering manga written with actual gay characters in it in addition to shipping m x m from whatever battle shounen you're into."

Like because of those subtext, there can be fanfics and fanarts, right? And then I decided to come here, this blog of yours is one of my favorite place...

First of, thank you for the kind words. I'm glad you're enjoying my blog even if it's a hot mess at times.

While I enjoy my ships that I have from the shounes I like, I didn't read /watch HxH or JJK for the ships. When I first watched the HxH anime it was after years of deep depression where I stopped reading things and watching things or playing games with plots. I'd just put forgettable shows or youtube videos in the background and play some mind numbing click game if I wasn't working.

I literally don't remember anything from that time, at least I was semi functional then, I had worse times. But summer was the worst, I didn't make much money generally but over the summer I had like one fifth of my regular work load at best and I just couldn't handle the existential dread and anxiety.

And I was watching videos of people speaking about media i knew all day and eventually I ran out of those that were about stuff I knew but I liked the person's voice so I clicked onto videos about stuff i didn't. And things they said about HxH made me go: really? And it was something about the last phase of the Hunter's Exam, it had nothing to do with any ship.

And I made the effort to watch a whole ass fucking anime. Like 100+ episodes. In about 5 days. It had characters I really started to love early on like Gon and Killua or Melody and train-wreck characters like Hisoka or Illumi that I couldn't stop myself from looking at with utter fascination, like wtf. And it had these intertwining plot lines and it didn't focus on just one character and Gon didn't even fight some of the bosses and the plot just veered into places I didn't expect but in the best fucking way possible and in the Chimera Ant arc it was really going from bad to worse and getting more tense and painful and the sense of dread and doom was mounting ... and it traumatised me. And I didn't know what to do with myself and for the first time ever I turned to fandom to process what I've experienced. And yeah I came out of convince that Gon and Killua loved each other in a romantic way and it was very important but like I didn't go into it or even kept watching for that.

HxH unlocked in me the ability to enjoy stuff again. To actually interact with media. It made me write alone again, not just co-write with a friend.

And like I don't watch/read that much. I don't have the time or energy, I also want to keep enjoying fandom and that takes up time and write my own stuff.

I don't even remember why I watched JJK. I knew absolutely nothing about it going, not who the characters were, not what the plot was. Like I must've read some blurb but I really don't know. And like episode one and I loved Yuuji and I just kept watching and the Junpei episodes came and I had to stop watching for a day and collect myself because how could they you know, how could they to my child... And after I finished the anime I read the manga and it was better? And worse, so much more traumatising.

But JJK is my kind of story too, it doesn't overfocus on one character, it has intertwining plots. It has some characters that I love or am fascinated by.

Years ago I used to read a lot of BL but none really stuck with me because they weren't that much my kind of stories. I'm not saying they were bad, they just weren't it for me.

But this is why I read HxH or JJK. The shipping for me is the result, not the reason. I just want more with the characters I love, more situations more emotions. So I love the fanart and the fanfic and it really adds to my enjoyment of these characters and their stories.

But also everyone is different and reads for different reasons. So people who say you should read X instead are really presumptuous, the imagine that they understand why someone enjoys something, what experiences and emotions they are after. And like maybe there are BL stories with characters like Gon and Killua and Yuuji, there are certainly BL stories with guys with kinda Sukuna vibes, I vaguely remember that. It's just that I haven't stumbled upon any that'd have the other factors too that make me enjoy HxH or JJK. Maybe I will encounter them and enjoy them but with how much time and energy I have, I likely won't go out there to look for them to prove someone's point that I'd just enjoy those hypothetical stories more.

There's this annoying culture in fandom where people expect others to justify why they enjoy things. And it's not enough for you to have a reason to like something, the reason will be scritinised and it's validity will be judged. And those people who feel that need to play judge to what others enjoy and and how, they really make fandom and online spaces worse for everyone. They are like those nosy neighbours who stand in their window all day watching what everyone else is doing. And we all know that the window neighbours are creepy, but somehow the fandom judges are not called nosy and creepy enough and honestly they should be. Because honestly they should mind their fucking business.