#my DREAM would be to have Denise sign it but who knows if she’ll do another con

[supervisormeero]

One more vacation-related thing: I was also extremely lucky (and asked the right person) to get one of the original posters that hung outside the Trafalgar Theatre stage door for the duration of People, Places & Things’ revival this year. Yes, it is an absolute prized possession of mine. Yes, I will be putting it on my wall in a place of honor. No, I am not over it.

[artzychic27]

The science kids seem to not like the Akuma class barring Nath, but I wanna know what they don't like about Marinette.

Denise: Oh, sit down, honey! Lemme tell you something about Marinette! She says she loves Adrien, but what does she really love about him? I’ll tell you, he’s the heteronormative dream. White, blonde, rich, upper-middle class, and genes a straight girl would kill for! She has her future children planned out! Two boys and one girls! A designer and model with 2.5 kids, now tell me that is not the “American Dream” or some bullshit.

Zoé: They’re right. It’s unsettling that Marinette has the sexes picked out for her kids. I mean, what if one of them turns out trans? Then what? I think she’ll have a breakdown.

Ismael: Or she’ll give one girl away and try again for a boy. Th-this worries us. And back to Adrien, she doesn’t love him. She loves that he’s “perfect,” and thinks she’s the “perfect girl” for him. So much so that she sabotages any girl who shows a shred of interest in him. Resh and I saw her sabotage the Friendship Day thing with Kagami just so she wouldn’t be able to win and hang out with Adrien.

Reshma: It was… Not pretty. What lengths is she willing to go to? Wh-what if Adrien finds a girl he truly loves?

Marc: What about a guy? What if Adrien realizes he’s gay? Who knows what she’ll do? Not only that, but she keeps dragging the girls into her kinda illegal schemes. Didn’t she get them to put up a fake ‘no parking’ sign?

Jean: I also heard something about her having his entire schedule. I thought that was a rumor started by some psycho fangirls who hate her, but now I think they’re just legitimately concerned.

Reshma: And back to this “perfect girl” thing. I saw her team up with Chloé of all people to sabotage Kagami’s chances with Adrien at the movie premiere.

Cosette: That! That is what we’re talking about! She’ll go to great lengths to ruin Adrien’s own happiness just to make herself happy by dating him. And if we could talk about Luka for a moment. What she did to him was unfair. If she was still in love with Adrien, she shouldn’t have been dating him. When Luka got akumatized into Truth and Alya told him Marinette’s biggest secret was her crush on Adrien, he said he already knows about that…

Lacey: So, her obsession over Adrien didn’t fade! And the explanation for her and Luka breaking up was “oh she’s so secretive!” What secret?! That’s she’s obsessed over Adrien?! Like Marc said, that’s not a secret!

Aurore: Now onto her actions regarding Adrien. As we’ve mentioned, she has his schedule. How did she get it? It’s nowhere online! The only explanation is that she stole his assistant’s tablet and got the information off of that!

Simon: I just tried to hack into her tablet, but it’s got one hell of a firewall. And I doubt Marinette has the hacking knowledge to get into it herself. Therefore, we can only assume that she got ahold of Nathalie’s tablet, or even Adrien’s phone, and got the schedule herself.

Mireille: Oh, and then you have Lila. Her only ambition was to expose Lila as a liar simply because she started showing an interest in Adrien. What about the fact that her friends were being lied to? Then she expected them to believe her every word about Lila being a liar simply because they’re friends. She didn’t provide any evidence, and it only made her look even more jealous of her. I mean, if Lila were to be in our class and I knew she was a liar, I wouldn’t go to my friends as a whole, I’d tell Aurore my concerns, and we’d research the facts together.

Zoé: Yeah, that’s right. Marinette lets her jealousy get the best of her. And yes, while we get jealous from time to time, you don’t see Marc sabotaging another boy for showing an interest Nathaniel, or Denise yelling at some girl for being friends with Simon, or Jean teaming up with his worst enemy to make some guy hanging out with Austin look bad in front of him. Because we’re rational!

Jean: It’s just… That’s like her whole character, being a stalker toward Adrien and not caring who she hurts emotionally just to be close to him. It’s unfair to the people around her, and those helping her with her plans are going to get in trouble.

Reshma: It’s is pretty much the reason why we try to distance ourselves away from her, yet she keeps being persistent.

Marc: Yeah, she won’t stop trying to get Nath and I to make more romance manga which are all basically a guide for her life with Adrien, and it’s deeply disturbing how much detail she has us put into them, right down to the exact texture of Adrien’s hair. We lied and told her we had too many commissions coming in to make more comics for her.

Aurore: Last week, she invited Mireille, Reshma, Lacey, Denise, Cosette, Zoé, and I to a sleepover at her place with the girls from her class, and I had to plan one at the last minute just so we didn’t have to go. I don’t feel like being in the same room as Adrien’s schedule.

Cosette: So, in short, that’s why we don’t like Marinette. She’s obsessive, a stalker, insensitive, and prone to some extreme jealousy. Hell, I could be talking to Adrien right now, and she’ll try to sabotage me in some way. And I’m dating Zoé!

Ismael: Yeah, that’s uh… That’s it… So, what now?

Marc: Guys, Nath just texted! Marinette’s coming to our classroom right now!

Denise: *Throws a desk out of the window* Run! Everybody run, now! *Jumps out of the window*

Lacey: *Packing snacks* We’re just gonna… Not be here! *Jumps out of the window, followed by Jean, Reshma, and Aurore*

Ismael: I’ll be in the catacombs! *Drops a smoke bomb and disappears*

Marc: *Pushing a bookshelf to the side to reveal a hole carved in the wall* You saw nothing!

Simon: *On his tablet* Goodbye, everybody! *A small drone flies into the room, grabs Simon by the back of his shirt, and carries him away*

Mireille: *Pulling apart the floorboards, revealing a panic room*

Zoé: Mireille! Take us with you!

Mireille: Get your own, panic room, bro! *Moves the floorboards back into place*

Cosette: YOU COWARD!

Marinette: Zoé! Cosette! Just the two I was looking for!

Cosette: … *Punches a wall* FUCK!… I’m afraid I must go to the nurse at this very moment. For you see, my hand is horribly injured, and Zoé twisted her ankle.

Zoé: I what? *Cosette kicks her ankle* AAAH! Yes! My ankle is twisted!

Marinette: Oh. Okay, well, maybe later, then-

Cosette: I may need stitches and I gotta go to the hospital for a few weeks! Bye! *Grabs Zoé’s hand and pulls her out of the room*

[twdmusicboxmystery]

TWD 10x10: Stalker - Details

Let’s talk some details! I’ll start by mentioning all the little things we’ve noticed, and then I’ll get into connecting it all. You might want to grab a beverage. This will be kinda long.

***As always, spoilers abound below for 10x10. Don’t read until you’ve watched! You’ve been warned!***

So, we start by seeing Beta jump into the pit via the RV. Both of those are huge symbols. The RV is a symbol of time that we’ve often associated with Beth. And Beta pretty much went into a dark tunnel…and emerged through a grave. Hmm. No better resurrection symbol than someone digging their way out of their own grave, Dean Winchester style

Then there’s Rosita’s dream. Seriously creepy, no? I knew from spoilers that it was a dream, but if I hadn’t, I definitely would have been freaking out. The thing is, it foreshadowed Beta walking around Michonne’s house, looking for Gamma. That part LOOKED just like Rosita’s dream. So that was a foreshadow of what happened later.

I couldn’t help but notice that when Daryl is following Alpha, he starts out in the dry riverbed. He gets up out of it, but then Alpha comes and he hides in it again. Then later, he attacks Alpha and the other Whisperers right next to the river. I’m wasn’t sure exactly what to read into that at first, but I’ll come back to it.

And Alpha actually led part of the horde out of the caves. It’s not very many—maybe a dozen or two dozen walkers—but they’re with her and the other Whisperers when Daryl attacks them by the river. Again, that’s important.

Also important to note that this season is moving relatively slowly. They made a point of saying in this episode that it’s only been 2 days since Siddiq died.

When Gamma tells FG to get her a map and she’ll point to where the caves are, I slowed it down to look at the map. It pans by very fast. I notice some Xs, but there are lines through them, which makes me think they might be train tracks. I can’t read all of the writing, but near the cave location, it says “unsafe zone.”

I also noticed the caves are 14 miles away. On the one hand, I thought of episode 14s through the seasons. Often Sirius/Beth related characters die in those episodes (i.e. Lizzie/Mica, Noah, Denise, etc.). Or this could be pointing toward ep 14 of this season. We’ll have to see what that brings us. But I looked it up in terms of biblical symbolism, and I found this:

All sound like Beth related stuff to me. And if the caves are 14 miles away, and that represents salvation and deliverance, that’s just another indication to me that Connie and Magna are just fine. They’ll survive the caves. Perhaps be “saved” by someone. ;D

My fellow theorists and I have been discussing the whole Rosita/FG/Eugene dynamic. At various times, we’ve felt that one or all of them might die. I felt that way this episode, too.  The symbolism around them is so muddled, and they’re all so interconnected, that’s it hard to say. For one thing, when FG leaves Alexandria at one point, he gives Rosita his hat. 

He does return to her after that, but it kind of felt to me like when Carl passed his hat to Judith, you know?

A group leaves Alexandria at the end for Hilltop. Rosita goes with them so she can see the doctor (apparently there’s still a doctor there) so I’m assuming when she arrives, that’s when we’ll get the scene with her and Eugene. But she also keeps talking about her fear that both she and Gabriel will die, leaving Coco an orphan. I don’t know if that’s a foreshadow or not, since it’s very on-the-nose, but it may be.

There’s also a part where Rosita looks up at the windmill and the camera focuses on it for a moment. People are speculating it’s a death omen because Siddiq woke up on its platform not long before he died. I think they might be onto something there, because in the opening credits, we see three turns of the windmill along with Rick’s bridge scene. And while we know Rick isn’t dead, the characters in the show believe he is.

I was also thinking that it might indicate a Whisperer trick. When it happened with Siddiq, Dante was in Alexandria, messing with his head. And in this episode, the Whisperers lured Gabriel and many others out of Alexandria so Beta could enter and get Gamma. But this is still conjecture. We’ll have to see how it plays out.

The gas station:

Everything is red, yellow and blue. There are “wings” on the main sign that look a lot like the Phoenix wings in the moonshine shack. And Alpha passes and old, analog gas pump with some interesting number on it. I’m seeing 32, 8 and 26. Not positive what to make of those, but 3+2 = 5 (for S5, perhaps?). 2 + 6 = 8, So that’s two 8s, which might indicate 16, or just the 8 years it’s been since Coda.

@frangipanilove​ noticed a rack full of car air fresheners. Just the kind of thing you’d find in a gas station. But what shape do fresheners often take? That of CHRISTMAS TREEs. So yes, there are Christmas trees in this scene. We also noticed some old soda coolers (think of @frangipanilove​’s blue cooler theories. It indicates the Sirius/return symbolism.)

Also, there was a yellow mop bucket behind Daryl at one point. 

And one of the walkers had fungus growing on its legs. We saw the same thing in Still and with Morgan in 6x06. I don’t know if I’d ever researched this before, but I looked it up and found THIS article that makes for interesting reading. This kind of fungus on trees suggests that the heart of the tree is rotten. That makes sense because each time we see them, the characters are in an emotionally bad place. Daryl, after the prison fell. Morgan, before Eastman helped him. And Daryl here, as also evidenced by when Alpha asked him if he could see past the darkness, and he answers, “No.”

He also uses a fire extinguisher to kill one of the walkers, which is also a Beth symbol.

Overall, it also reminded me of the burnt out greenhouse we saw in 6x06.

And I do have to say that I found the amazing things Daryl did with his leg injury to be…less than realistic, lol. Really not bashing anything, but he was putting all kinds of bodyweight on that leg with the knife still in it. And when he pulls it out, the thing spurts as though he’s obviously hit an artery. We don’t see that he has any way of bandaging it or treating it, yet somehow he lasts the night like that without bleeding out. Yeah, injuries like that REALLY don’t clot all by themselves.

But hey, it’s Daryl and obviously I don’t want him to die, so I’m cool.

And of course the other option is that it’s purposely unrealistic for symbolic reasons. That’s the kind of thing I’m trying to figure out. Like maybe this is meant to be a symbolic parallel with Alpha being Dawn and Daryl being Beth, and the spurt of blood represents her getting shot in the head and—against all odds—surviving. I’m not sure that entirely works out. Just throwing the possibility out there. But if it did, then Lydia could dually represent Beth saving Daryl and also someone else—like maybe Morgan?—who saved Beth after she was shot.

There’s another really interesting shot that instantly jumped out at me. At one point, we see FG preparing to leave Alexandria. He gets into a box and unwraps two, red shotgun shells. It was really the color that caught my eye at first. Next to it is a silver pendant with a cross on it. It’s not in the shape of a cross. The pendant is round but has a raised cross etched into it. (It’s actually the crest from his original church in S5, which is probably purposeful.) So it reminded me of the cross Beth wore around her wrist in Coda and of course there are those bullets. Annnddd… FG is a Sirius character. So once again, does this portend his death? I’m not sure.

What really caught my ear in the scene where Gamma talked to Judith was that she used the words ‘remember’ and ‘forget’ very close together, and I wondered if we would hear all the titles from 5b/Dale’s time speech. We didn’t, at least not in this scene, and I didn’t notice them anywhere else. But it still struck me as interesting.

There’s an “echo” theme in the episode. The other outpost that tells them there’s horde coming, but it’s a ploy and all the people from that station are actually dead, is called “Echo Station.” And when Gamma talks to Judith she says she has only echoes of memories of her previous life. I’m not entirely sure what that’s all about but I just thought that we’ve had nothing if not echoes of Beth over all the seasons since S5.

She also says that she and her sister made very bad decisions after the virus broke out, and then met Alpha (evil) and Judith says that if they’d met her mom or dad, Gamma wouldn’t be in this situation. So that’s just another way that Gamma and her sister are opposites of Beth and Maggie. They ended up in a good place because they met Rick, rather than following an evil, brutal leader.

Judith also says, “you don’t look like a monster to me.” Seems like we’ve had the monster theme in past several episodes.

When Beta goes into get Gamma, he says something kind of interesting. She’s arguing with him that Alpha lied about what this place was. He says it doesn’t matter. She’s Gamma’s Alpha and needs to be obeyed. Then he says, “You think you’re still alive. You were dead the moment you came to us.” 

So the Whisperers actually believe they are dead. They don’t want to live as the living do. But we could relate that back to Beth’s theme of “you call this living” and a few others.

Later, when he gets her outside of Alexandria, taking her back to Alpha, he says, “You will fall. You will rise. You will walk with your sister again.” Yikes. Talk about a resurrection/sister theme. And you know, Maggie is returning, so… ;D

I gotta say that Judith shooting Beta was pretty damn awesome. You know, in the way Judith is pretty damn awesome.

There’s also the fact that Alpha wanted Lydia to kill her. So, we could call this a suicide arc of sorts. And when Alpha wakes up in the morning, she says she’s no longer weak, which is a parallel to Beth. I thought of that while watching it. Just the fact that she talks about not being weak anymore and Beth’s “I am strong,” you know?

People in my group noticed that they used some Dutch angles (with the camera askew) when Lydia walked in. Another reason to believe she’s a proxy for Beth returning.

And then there’s also Alpha singing. I don’t have tons more to say about that, but we all know why her singing is significant. And again, all the dialogue just jumps off the screen at me. “Kill me.” Lydia says no. Then Alpha sings. And says “They’re waiting for you to lead.” Beth anyone?

Lydia carved into a table, “your way is not the only way,” right? Well, the shape of the letters looked a LOT like the graffiti from S5 that says, “Wolves Not Far.” We’ve already talked about how the Whisperers were forerunners to and foreshadowed the wolves, but I started thinking about that idea more deeply. Like maybe that writing, while it did foreshadow the wolves (cuz obviously) also foreshadowed the Whisperers.

And think about that. We first saw that that graffiti in 5x09, which Beth was in, and there was an 8 next to her. Now, 8 years later, the Whisperers are here. So, by extension, Beth should be too. Back to that in a minute.

I thought it was interesting that Alpha says to Lydia “I want you to…” And then she passes out. She doesn’t get out the word, “stay” until morning. So, Lydia never heard her mom ask her to stay. Lydia would have just heard the first part of the sentence and assumed it would be a negative request, like “kill me and lead the whisperers.” But she wakes up and says “stay” and Lydia and Daryl are already gone. It just struck me as very tragic. And at first, I didn’t see it as a TD thing, but I’ve reconsidered.

Even when Daryl wakes up and talks to Lydia at the end, it struck me as a possible Beth parallel. Daryl says, “You just been out here this whole time?” Sounds like something he might say to Beth.

Finally, at the end, when Alpha starts reciting her end-of-the-world chant, it pans out. This is the top of the gas station from a birdseye view, with the road next to it. I immediately felt like maybe we should be reading into this shot somehow. I just didn’t know exactly how. The blue colors and greenery might indicate Beth. But I had to put together more thoughts about episode before it really made sense to me. It’s part of the hell theme, which I mention below but won’t go into in a lot of detail here. (The gas station = hell or dark tunnel, and the curving path shows that the character’s arc changes course because of the hell they endure.)

Okay, so this is most of the details I noticed. But the thing is, the details are actually incidental. Or at least, they’re just there to prove the bigger parallels.

I feel like this entire episode is one big foreshadow/parallel. 

And it’s probably not possible for any of us to put our fingers on everything it points to, but the more I think about it, the more interesting it becomes. I’ll try to lay a few of them out for you.

1. So the most obvious thing this represents for me is what I talked about yesterday. It’s a replay of Coda and sort of a re-telling of Beth and Daryl’s arc. Daryl stabbed Alpha in the shoulder and then sustained an injury to the head, just as Beth stabbed Dawn in the shoulder and then was shot in the head. Also notice how this happens by the river (water = Beth). So Daryl represents Beth in this analogy and we then see him staggering around, injured, and in a very dark state of mind. I’m willing to bet Beth went through something similar after being shot and left behind. Or it could be literal, as we know there was a walker horde involved. So Daryl fighting off Alpha’s walkers and trying to survive could literally represent something Beth went through once she woke up, surrounded by walkers.

In that case, Lydia represents someone coming to help/save Beth. We don’t know who that is, but I’m sure we’ll find out eventually.

2. This also represents Daryl’s arc after losing Beth, though in that case, it’s emotional. After she got shot, he was sort of stumbling around in the dark emotionally, and unable to come out of his depression for a long time. With this interpretation, Lydia sort of represents…herself. Because Daryl didn’t truly start to come out of his depression until he started parenting her. So Lydia did help save Daryl emotionally.

3. I still think this represents something for the future as well. I think Lydia represents Beth returning and saving Daryl in some way. Will it be physically? Emotionally? My money’s on both. I think one thing this foreshadows is Daryl going into a dark state of mind again for some reasons, so even if she saves him physically, she’ll also save him emotionally by default.

And that brings up some interesting questions about Daryl’s crossbow, I gotta say. My group has been discussing this the past few days. We thought it was odd that Daryl dropped his crossbow before going into the cave in 10x08. Because he still had arrows and he had no obvious reason not to bring it with him. Now, of course it would have been VERY cumbersome when crawling through the tiny passages of the cave, and the writers knew that, which is why they had him drop it. But DARYL couldn’t possibly have know that, so it didn’t make much sense. It was obviously something the writers had him do with something in mind. And now Lydia has found it and brought it back to him.

A lot of us have had head canons about Beth doing something like this over the years, so again, this makes me…kinda happy. ;D

4.This obviously represents the hell/dark tunnel arc. I may end up doing an entire, detailed post about this, but here’s the basic gist. We already know the gas station represents hell, because in S4, the gas station Daryl and Michonne’s group went to had the word “hell” written on the marquee.

So I often talk about the dark tunnel symbolism representing the characters having a great trial, and that’s true, but you could also describe it as them going through their own personal hell.

So no matter how you slice it, we once again have a representation of what happened at Grady (stabbed in shoulder, injured in forehead) followed by the trial/hell/dark tunnel. For Daryl, for Beth, for Alpha… it works across the board.

It always starts with either a terrible injury, a death or a death fake out. Or sometimes literal imprisonment to a villain (i.e. Negan, Alpha, etc.). That’s followed by a period of time in which the character struggles through deep emotional darkness. (The dark part, as Maggie said.) Then, when the sun rises again, everything is okay. And what that “okay” looks like depends on what the first event is. If it’s an injury (think Carl’s eye in S6) then the person finally recovers or starts to recover, but it’s obvious they won’t die. If it’s a death fake out (think Glenn in S6) they show up alive. Other times, it might mean the death of the character themselves. (I’m thinking of Sasha. Yes, she died in S7, but she died so the group would have a fighting chance to win the war. And she was okay with that sacrifice. So we saw a sunrise.)

And let’s just appreciate that, if Lydia in this episode does represent Beth’s return to Daryl, she arrived in the night, kind of during his darkest hour. By the time the sun rose, they were away from the darkness, away from Alpha, and…together in the sunlight.

And the more I thought about and put together all the components of this sequence, the more I realized just how MANY times we’ve seen it. Like I said, I’ll do a more detailed post later, but it’s amazing to realize we’ve been seeing this all along, but for the most part only picking up pieces of it at a time.

(The reason I said the thing above about Alpha not finishing her sentence until the morning being a TD thing is that it’s a representation of someone “falling asleep” as it were and waking up along. You could say that this was Alpha entering the dark tunnel, much as Beth did--through injury--and when she wakes up, her family (Lydia, in this case) has left her behind. Right after that, we see the graffiti-like writing. We saw it with Beth in 5x09, right after Coda. And we’ve already seen plenty of parallels/anti-parallels between Alpha and Beth. Just saying.)

Let’s talk about Beta invading Alexandria for a moment and then I really need to shut up for today.

This is obviously a different sequence than the gas station, but I feel like it foreshadows something yet to come. First of all, it reminded me a lot of the Wolves invading Alexandria in S6. And I’m not saying that foreshadowed this (overall, this thing with Beta was less epic than the wolves) but I feel like both of them perhaps point toward something yet to come.

Let’s look at it with some distance. We have a major resurrection symbol (Beta crawling out of the grave) followed by an invasion in which Judith and RJ were in danger and many people died. So, I wonder if there will be a larger invasion where this is the case.

And honestly, it looks like this might happen with Alpha’s horde next episode, so maybe it just points to that. We’ll have to see.

But there’s also the resurrection symbol. So, I’m wondering if it points to a resurrection happening during this invasion. (And understand I’m just making observations here. I have no idea what it’s pointing to.) And maybe, given that Beta is evil, I’m making this symbolism too positive. I don’t know.

Also remember though that Beta is an anti-parallel for Daryl. (We saw him fighting with two knives in this episode, like Daryl does, so I was reminded of that.) And when Beth is resurrected physically, Daryl will be emotionally too. So there’s that.

So this is super conjecturey (totally a word) but remember what I said above: the first episode in which we saw “Wolves Not Far” was 5x09. Beth was in that episode, along with tons of symbolism about what might have happened during that missing 17 days, and what we think was trying to say that she would return in 8 years (in other words, now, in TWD timeline). And now, the Whisperers are here, which is probably what the wolves foreshadowed. (There were also interesting clocks in that episode, and the deeply foreshadowing radio voice broad casts. Yes, I need to do another post to show you guys this stuff. It’s just too much to put here today.)

So I guess what I’m thinking/hoping for is that at some point, the Whisperers will invade Alexandria en mass (or one of the communities; if this does point to next episode, pretty sure that’s happening at Hilltop) and during that invasion, Beth will show up to “save” everyone.

Now, here’s hoping this totally goes down next episode. My good friend @frangipanilove​ would be ecstatic, as ep 11 is the one she always focuses on, and here’s hoping she totally right. (Cuz, you know, that would mean Beth’s return next week. ;D)

But it’s also possible this is bigger than what’s happening in ep 11 and it will be more of a season finale sort of thing. Or… I could be interpreting this totally wrong and it won’t go down this way at all. This is just the stuff rolling through my head since watching 10x10.

One other thing: my fellow theorists and I talked about how we think this is setting up for three returns. Father Gabriel made the three reference to Gamma, and you could argue that Lydia got a return in this episode. She wasn’t really presumed dead or anything, but we hadn’t seen her in a while.

We also know Maggie will be back sometime soon. So that would be two returns. The third would of course, be Beth. But then there’s also Connie to consider. So who knows?

Yeah, this episode was totally packed with stuff. I doubt I’ve even truly hit on everything here. Lots of hidden gems. And next episode just looks, you know, totally badass. So I’m excited to see what comes next. 

Thoughts?

[krystlind]

this is the place i feel safe.

I’m putting my thoughts on here and they are not on here for anyone else but for me.

I am striving to practice self grace, gentleness, and patience at this time. to let myself be present in this very phase. 

God has been giving me signs:

red cardinal: I can trust again. I can find loyalty and build loyalty in the people around me. Angel is watching. Grandpa is watching.

Alicia. us becoming close. her encouraging me, and saying this time is mine now, and her vision of us working together. and her saying maybe it was all meant to be that we would be friends. I feel so touched. I don’t think she’ll ever know how much it all means to me.

Noticing what I am hoping to grow out of/into:

Scavenging/Fiend-ing: looking for snacks and food (Denise’s). wake up call: Elle’s text message. I knew it was coming. I’m proud of how I handled it. I noticed my emotions: acceptance. defensiveness, then realizing you can own up to it. there’s a way to do it. this is a good opportunity to say sorry. to see the consequences of being a little careless with things and trying to get away with using other people’s things. then giving myself grace. not being so hard on myself. telling myself I know how to own up to it and own it

What I’m walking into: Woman who has what she needs, but uses her own things, is happy with what she has, doesn’t expect things from other people, uses minimally, content, takes only what she needs. Is grateful. 

Focused on what is right in front and enjoying that exact process. Head not everywhere at once. Not scanning. Just going for something and focusing on it. 

Promise to myself: No more taking what’s yours, sneaking to get it. we aren’t like that anymore. God provides everything you need. You are a Royal Warrior Princess. RWP don’t need to do that.

Mind is sound, focused.

A word right now is FOCUSED. simplify. make space for inspiration.

slow down the whirlwind: of planning, strategizing, what-ifs

Be kind to your mind

I’m observing myself with Kyle, and I noticed that I am seeing how much I feel comfortable and safe with him. He again checks so many boxes, and I can see myself potentially getting there. it’s like there’s this block. but I wonder, isn’t the pull also supposed to be there? I notice myself being real, direct, saying what I want to say (not like when I was with Clark and felt a lock in my throat, or get little response) and I also notice myself having a wall. It makes sense hun! your body is learning to trust and be around a guy, like this again. You are worthy of physical chemistry and pleasure, but you’re not just going to jump there. I’m noticing myself not letting myself be turned off right away by those little quirks, but acknowledge them as a whole person. I’m noticing myself unsure of how much comfort I do feel, but wanting to be *there*... I notice myself curling in and wanting a safe haven in him, because perhaps I feel just untethered? I notice myself saying I deserve that, and that it’s not *bad* of me for wanting refuge in someone and that God’s not mad. He also mentioned that I seem to be less present, and which is what Cori said. 

I’m no longer being harsh on myself. This is my process. I hear the voice inside my head sometimes, it’s the Dad Doomsday voice. I acknowledge that it’s there, and that I can tell myself a different story. I can replace it with a Divine Gentle Voice. I am learning how to engage in what’s around and in front of me, and be present for the very moment. I am learning to trust in my highest timeline. I can trust myself. I can trust God.

God. Wow. You are amazing, for taking me to this place. My home here, the pod, the resources, the break. the support, the friends, the people who believe in me. the mentors, the back up, the vision, the dream.

You promised me an adventure. with you. You are not far from me. you are here. help me to take every day. and just be with the day, not with the worries of tomorrow. Guide me God and take care of any doubts and worries, and replace it with divine strength and reassurance. 

I don’t want to overthink this one. I want to boldly in faith in this one.

I am so excited to see how this next season will turn out. 

Because see how this season is. Wow who would’ve thought I’d be just right here.

It’s all happening in due timing. 

You will show up boldly. You will “show something they’ve never seen”

You are worth this dream. You are worth this rest. You are more than the resources you have.

You are a protected, provided for, Warrior Princess of Heaven.

You are doing just great sweetie <3

[megamanx1994]

Xenoforce III Chatper 3

Xenoforce III Chapter 3 by Kasai01, Oct 9, 2017, 3:06:49 PM Literature / Prose / Fiction / Children and Teen / Flash Fiction & Vignettes Chapter 3: Sound Breaker Suit (disclaimer! I own nothing of Xenoblade Chronicles!)

Vivian was handing in some paperwork to bring a light music club back. One of the professors was looking at it. “Well Ms. Dinzel, I notice you don’t have the minimum amount of members,” she said. “Well Professor Finns, I did bring an old band together that use to play for my brother but…” said Vivian. “Look doll, I’m afraid we can only let the Light Music Club back if you have the minimum amount of members,” said Professor Finns, “So what do you need?” “How do I…. approach recruiting members?” asked Vivian. “Well Ms. Dinzel, the answer to that is simple,” said Professor Finns, “The only way to get more members is to ask them to give out applications. “Applications?” asked Vivian, “But those were released weeks ago, its probably too late for that now.” “C’mon doll, its never too late to build a bigger ensemble,” said Professor Finns. Vivian left the room and her band members greeted her. “Any luck?” asked Jade, their red haired bass player. “Well, looks like we gotta get some more members,” said Vivian. “Well, I can look around for some in my old club,” said Sheldon, the keyboardist. “Same here,” said Jake, their drummer, “You can find some can’t you sis?”

“Well, I’m sure there’s some members that aren’t in clubs yet, little big brother,” said Jade. She calls him that because he’s older in age, but shorter in size. “Hey V,” I said coming by. “Michael, hey,” she said greeting me. “Who’s the new guy?” asked Jade. “Oh, this is my boyfriend Michael,” said Vivian. “Sup,” said Jake. “Well, well, well,” said someone. It was a black haired woman that was taller than me or Vivian. “What do you want Janice?” asked Vivian. “Just came by to say congrats on failing to get the Light Music Club back on its feet,” she said, “Got some more sour grapes for me?” “All I need is a few more members and we’ll be back on our feet,” said Vivian, “Just you wait.” Janice looked at me and then walked away. “That’s my cousin Janice,” said Vivian, “She acts nice and sweet, but don’t let that fool you. She’s a pure evil bitch.” “I can tell,” I said. I noticed students going somewhere. “What’s going on?” I asked.

“Looks like we’ll have to find out,” said Jade. We all went to the center of the school and saw someone in the center. It was him, the guy I saw on the newspaper; Edmund Pierce. “Please people, I’ll give autographs later,” he said. “Oh great,” I said, “That guys here.” Edmund got a look at Vivian. “So I heard you’re trying to bring a Light Music Club back,” I said, “Well I’d be more than happy to….” One of her friends pushed me out of the way. “Oh my god, V, you gotta check out this super cute guy,” she said. I tried to get up but I was trampled by other students. She brought her to Edmund. “My name is Edmund Pierce, and when I saw you in the crowd I just had to get a closer look,” he said, “What do you way we get together after class and get to know each other.” “As if,” said Vivian as she removed her hand from his, “I’ve no interest in a guy who cares only about fame.” She went back to me. “Feisty aren’t you,” he said. “You ok?” she asked. “Yeah,” I said, “Thank you.” I was a mess. “Looks like you got trampled,” said Vivian. “You mind if I wash up at your dorm?” I asked, “My sister sees me like this, and she’s gonna be all over these students like the Holy Ghost.” “Sure,” she said. I followed her to her dorm and washed off the dirt and stuff. Afterwards I was brand new. “Man that hit the spot,” I said, “Thanks a bunch.” “Don’t mention it,” said Vivian. Someone else came into the dorm. It was a young girl. “Hi Vivian,” she said. “Hey sis,” said Vivian. “Sis?” I asked. “That’s right,” said Vivian, “This is my younger sister.” “And would this be your you-know-what?” she asked. Vivian nodded. “Nice,” she said, “I’m Lin Lee Koo, student at G.I.B.S, and a gifted mechanic.” “She’s 13 years old,” said Vivian, “And while she looks young, she’s one of the brightest minds this school has.” “Nice to meet you Lin,” I said.

Johnny was at his dorm at his school filling out the application for Scavenger’s for Hire. “Damn it!” he said, “There’s one thing I’m missing.” There was a knock on his door. Johnny closed his laptop and opened it. It was his girlfriend Lola. “Johnny, are you alright?” she asked. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, “Why wouldn’t I be?” “Your dad said there was a freakout at the hospital you visited,” said Lola, “She’s worried about you, and so am I.” “Don’t be,” said Johnny, “I’m ok.” “Is this about Dad?” she asked. He sighed. “Yes,” said Johnny, “Ever since that day, I felt like I caused his accident.” Lola hugged him. “Johnny, it wasn’t entirely your fault,” she said, “My father doesn’t blame you one bit for what happened.” “Yeah,” he said. “Neither should you.” “Nothing he can say can change what happened,” said Johnny, “I wanna make things right again. I gotta get some air, but I’ll see you later.” “Johnny, some things are just….” Said Lola before he left, “….beyond our control.”

I was working on a prototype suit for the upcoming science off. “Its showtime Micah,” I said, “Bring out the dummies.” “Got it!” said Micah. Some digital dummies appeared in the obstacle course. I brought out my new gauntlets. They were built with an electrical surge that could force enemies back and smash through brick walls. The dummies came after me and I tested out the gauntlets. “Wow, these things really work!” I said, “And now, the main attraction.” I got out an energy staff and used it. It was able to shoot energy bolts and makes for a good melee weapon. Micah heard some noise. It was EJ watching some of the Captain Falcon Fitness DVDs. “EJ, do you mind, we’re doing some tests,” she said before she got a look at the person, “Is that…..?” “That’s right,” said EJ, “Captain Falcon.” After a few minutes of testing the functions of the suit, I was tired. “Break time,” I said. While sitting down, I was working on a 3d graph of EJ’s new and improved Xeno-suit. Principal Gibson opened the doors to the room. “Burning the midnight oil Mr. Morrison?” he asked. “Yes sir,” I said.

He got a look at my suit. “This is extraordinary,” he said, “I take if this is for the upcoming Science off?” “It runs on an unlimited supply of energy,” I said, “Anela helped me put it together.” “I look forward to seeing it in action,” he said. I kept working on EJ’s upgrades. (To the 4th wall) I know right? How do I manage to come up with all of this technology? Well, looks like one of our friends works for scavengers for Hire, but I’m not sure who. Somebody called me on the phone. “Hey Michael, are we forgetting something?” asked Anela. I remembered. “Oh yeah, you invited me to the mansion!” I said. “That’s right,” said Anela, “I assumed you were working on something so I decided to call.” “Hey do you mind if I bring Vivian?” I asked, “I think she’ll love it there,” I said. “The more the merrier,” said Anela.

Vivian, Micah and I were on the way to Anela’s house. “Here we are,” I said. “Wow, it’s a pretty big place,” said Vivian. (To the 4th wall) Yep, this is the place where Anela lives. I probably forgot to mention this in XenoForce II, but she’s rich. Rich as hell that is. A butler opened the doors and we went in. “Michael and Vivian have arrived,” said the butler. “Michael, glad you could make it,” said Bryan. “Welcome to Tengoku,” said EJ, “That’s Spanish for Paradise.” “Its really… not,” sad Anela. “To be honest, I thought Anela lived in a scientist’s home,” said Denise, “But this place is radical!” She jumped into the pool. “Looks like you guys are settled in,” I said as I smiled. “Check this out,” said EJ as he got out the tub, “Fetch me my towel good sir.”

“As you wish, Master Edward,” said the butler. “Master Edward, wow!” said EJ, “Now pat me dry.” “Yes sir,” said the butler as he dried EJ. He then jumped back in the pool. “In retrospect, he probably should’ve seen this coming,” said Clank. He was sitting on a bench trying to get a tan. “Robots can’t get tans Clank,” said Ratchet. “I see you brought the rockstar,” said EJ. “Yeah,” I said, “I figured why not introduce her to you guys.” “Anela Mae,” said Anela greeting Vivian, “But you can call me Ann.” “Pleasure,” said Vivian, “So…. What do you have for us today? Shopping? Makeovers?” “I vote makeovers!” said EJ. Bryan dunked him into the water. “I have something else in mind,” said Anela.

Later we were in a virtual reality room. (You probably recognize this from the first story. This is where I tested out my headband.) “It allows you to dream up wherever you want to be at and makes the room into that reality,” said Anela, “Pretty great right?” “Way cooler than shopping,” said Vivian. “Try it out,” said Anela. Vivian walked in with her guitar. She then closed her eyes and envisioned herself at a stadium with her band. She then played an insane guitar solo and the audience went into a frenzy. “Insane,” I said. My hair was wild. We were all having a blast. “Hey, Michael can I ask you something?” she asked. “Sure, what’s up?” I asked.  “My parents were wondering if you’d like to have dinner with us,” she said, “They’re dying to meet you.” “Hmmm, I don’t…..” I started. I looked by to Anela remembering the plans I had with her. She gave me a sign meaning she has everything covered. “…See why not,” I finished.