#motivation ⫷what uneasiness lies in being loved ⫸

[borathae]

"Spending time with Yoongi will always make your day better."

Pairing: Vampire!Yoongi x Witch!Reader

Genre: established relationship!AU, Slice of Life Fluff

Warnings: love and being in love and loving each other, they're cooking together and they're happy and in love!!!, also they hug each other and LOVE each other 😭, also their teamwork in all parts of life just breaks me apart, they're the one true couple, i apologise i love them so much

Wordcount: 2.4k

a/n: i hope that this can cheer you guys up a little. now i'm crying because i don't want my forever seven to leave and love this couple so much :(

Sometimes days aren’t good, but describing them as a bad day doesn’t fit either. You can feel that something was off, but you also can’t describe what exactly it is that is off. You just know that something is wrong. It makes you restless and uneasy, yet at the same time hinders you from doing anything at all. It once again, must be brought to attention that it isn’t enough for it to be a bad day. You know how paralysis because of mental struggles feels like and this isn’t that. You simply feel restless and unable to do anything against it.

You tried to fight the feeling come the later hours of the afternoon, but not even reading helped. As a matter of fact, you managed to read half a page and then you lost interest again. Taking care of your plants entertained you for an hour before you felt too exhausted to continue and you gave up.

Which leads us to the current moment in the estate’s main kitchen. It is empty, safe for you and you are currently trying to entertain yourself by making tea. You let out a loud sigh, sagging your shoulders. You feel so weird. You don’t like feeling this way. Not one bit.

“Hey princess”, Yoongi enters the kitchen.

You turn, studying him from head to toe. He is walking to you, rolling his head as he does to get the stiffness out of his neck.

“Hey, love. How did it go?”

“Good. Meredith and I finally finished the spell to close the gateway”, he says and gives you a kiss on your cheek, “we can get rid of the leak tomorrow.”

Meredith’s coven struggles with a dark magic leak not far from their place and Yoongi has been in magical connection with Meredith all day, working in the library whilst she worked in her own. Together they constructed a spell which will hopefully close the leak for good.

“That’s amazing news. You guys are so cool”, you say and turn back to the kettle. The water finished boiling and you need to fill your mug. 

“Yeah, hopefully it’ll work ‘cause otherwise we need to think of something else.”

“No matter the outcome, I’m sure you guys will be successful in the end. I believe in you.”

“Thank you, princess. That motivates me”, he says and closes the distance so he could drape his arm around your waist. He rests his chin on your shoulder, rubbing your side softly, “how was your day?”

“Wow Yoongi”, you say and let out a loud sigh, “thank you so much for asking because I literally can’t take it anymore. Today’s such a poopy day and I don’t even know why.” 

“Really? What happened?” he asks worriedly, hugging you.

You shrug your shoulders.

“Nothing happened, that’s the thing. It’s not even a bad day and I don’t feel sad or anything, but it’s not a good day either.”

“That’s okay. You can have neutral days.”

“But it’s not a neutral day. It’s a…a...I guess it’s an uncomfortable day, but not uncomfortable enough to be upset about it. I just constantly dislike what is happening to me. Even your hug makes me feel weird.”

“Sorry”, Yoongi says and gives you space instantly.

“Don’t apologise. It was a nice hug, but today I just constantly feel murgh”, you make the sound, “like that sound. Murgh.”

“Did you do something, which could have triggered it?”

“No, I just lied around until I felt uneasy, I tried to read and garden but even that felt weird. Now I’m here. Making tea and feeling murgh.”

“Maybe you’re just bored.”

“Bored?”

Yoongi nods his head, “I know I feel weird when I lie around and do nothing. I get bored and weirdly stressed out for not achieving anything.”

“Yes exactly. Thank you. This is exactly how I feel. It’s so late already and I haven’t done anything productive today. Now I feel like I need to do something or else I’d have wasted this day, but nothing interests me.”

“Mhm, I understand. I’m sorry you feel this way, princess. I don’t think you wasted your day. You just did some resting. That’s already enough.”

“I guess”, you say and sign, “I know how you mean it and I know it’s enough to just do nothing sometimes, but I really wanted today to be productive.” 

“I understand. Maybe we could still do something productive?”

“No, it’s okay. You already did so much with Meredith today. I don’t wanna take cozy time away from you just ‘cause I can’t get to rest today.”

“I wouldn’t mind. We could do one of those murder mystery games together. We still gotta solve the case with the glovebox. You know the one where you fell asleep on my lap last time?”

You laugh, nodding your head. You were three hours into the game when sleepiness dragged you down and you fell asleep with your head on his lap as he read you one of the clues. It wasn’t your fault, Yoongi played with your hair and it knocked you out.

“That’s cozy enough for me. We could continue the game”, Yoongi says.

You glance at him. Yoongi grins.

“I know that look. You wanna do a murder mystery together, don’t you?”

“Yeah maybe”, you confess, “that game is so much fun.”

“Yeah, it’s really fun”, he agrees and opens the fridge to hand you the milk.

“Thanks.”

“Mhm”, he hums and studies the contents of the fridge, “did you have dinner already?”

“No, that’s the next thing which overwhelms me. No food sounds good, but I’m starving. I literally ate raw noodles for a snack.”

Yoongi scrunches his nose in distaste.

“No, don’t do that. Don’t eat raw pasta.”

“But the crunch and the blandness of them. It just satisfies something in me”, you argue in a whine.

“Okay, if you say so”, Yoongi murmurs and bends down to inspect the lower levels, “do you want curry? I make a very yummy Korean style curry.”

“Oh I actually love curries.”

“Good. Then it’s decided. My indecisive princess is gonna eat curry tonight”, he says and straightens up. He takes out some of the ingredients, giving you a smile.

“You’re cute, you know?” you say.

“Mhm, you keep saying that yeah.”

“Because I mean it”, you close the distance so you can hug his waist, “you’re cute.”

Yoongi leans in for a smooch to his cheek. He hides his giddiness with a faint touch to his own neck. 

“Can you get me the cutting board?” he asks.

“Yeah sure”, you say and spring into action instantly. Weirdly enough, you don’t feel that uncomfortably bored anymore ever since Yoongi entered the kitchen. Even cooking, which once sounded too exhausting to do, feels easy. Yoongi is cutting the vegetables while you prepare a pot with some water. It feels so easy to do now that you can do it with Yoongi.

“I want music. Is it okay for you if I turn the radio on?”

“Yeah sure.”

“Nice”, you say, turning on the radio with a snap of your fingers. The CD which you listened to last night plays from the beginning.

“Mhm, that’s making it so much more fun”, Yoongi says and then begins humming to the song as he cuts up the potato for the curry. 

“It does. Even music felt exhausting, but I don’t think so right now”, you say and swing your hips to the music. 

“Mhm I get it. Do you want meat in the curry?”

“No, it’s not necessary. I’ll start on the rice, okay?”

“Yeah okay”, Yoongi says and sings his next words to the melody of the song, “she wants no meat in the curry. Hmhm.”

You glance at him. He is so lovely without even trying. You enjoy the smile he brings to the surface until it naturally dies down again and leaves a warm flicker in your chest. Then you look at the rice cooker, lowering yourself so you could read the different settings better. You turn it on to check for the water levels. There is still enough inside, which means you can wash the rice.

You have to get to where Yoongi is standing for it, passing him with a swing in your hips and your right hand dancing along his lower back. He looks at you.

“Do you need to get inside?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

He steps aside so you could get the bowl.

“Thank you”, you say, stealing a little cheek kiss for which Yoongi leans in naturally.

“Mhm”, he hums while you dance back to the rice cooker. You take out the rice from the cupboard.

“Do you want to eat something as well?”

“Yes, I feel like it tonight. I haven’t had curry in ages.”

“Okie dokie”, you say and then sing the next words, “rice for my Boongie so he can grow big and strong.”

Yoongi chuckles and meets your eyes as you look at him with a snicker crinkling your features. He shakes his head and breaks the eye contact, the chuckle still remains on his lips. Feeling very warm in your chest, you begin washing two portions of rice until the water is clear. You put it into the rice cooker and turn it on. It starts with a short jingle.

Now that you have time and nothing to do, you dance back to Yoongi. You hug him from behind, sliding your hands under his yellow sweater to caress his tummy gently. You rest your cheek against his back. He leans into the hug, swaying from side to side as you control the slow dance. Goosebumps cover his skin instantly, amazing shivers run down his spine. This is such a simple connection, but it feels so comforting to both of you.

“I think I want meat in mine”, Yoongi says. He is almost finished with the vegetables, slowing down his cutting for the sole reason of enjoying the hug a little longer.

“Yeah? I could grill it for you”, you offer as you bask in the feeling of him with closed eyes. His tummy is so soft and his skin so tender. He is also so, so warm.

“Yes, I would like that”, he says.

“Okay okay”, you say and kiss his back. You give him a little squeeze and then slip away from him again.

Yoongi glances at you, missing your hug now that it is gone.

“Thank you”, he says.

“Of course”, you answer him as you stir the boiling water, “how long do we have to cook the curry?”

“It should be done in twenty minutes”, he tells you, carrying the cutting board to the stove, “careful, love”, he warns so you could step aside and he can scoop the vegetables into the boiling water. 

“I’ll start with the grilling after ten minutes I think”, you say.

“Yeah, sounds good to me. Could you please bring me some bay leaves and a cinnamon stick?”

“Coming right up”, you say, hurrying to the spice rack, “will we put cinnamon into the curry?”

“Yeah, just for a short time. It adds a lot of warmth to the taste. It goes well with the season.”

He is seasoning the curry as you and he are talking.

“I like that. Warm food tastes so much better in the colder months. Wow Yoongi, yesterday was such a nice day. The weather was so cold and gloomy. I was really happy.”

“Mhm yeah, yesterday was nice.”

“I need to finally put leaves on the vegetable beds. Otherwise it’ll get too cold for it.”

“Yeah, right. Do you need help with it?”

“No, I can manage but thank you so much.”

“Of course. If you change your mind, you can tell me.”

“I will, thank you love.”

You return to Yoongi with the rest of the spices, inhaling deeply. 

“Mhhhm this already smells amazing, wow”, you hum, moving in closer to waft the steam into your face for another whiff, “mhhm.”

“Yeah, it should taste good. You’ll like it.” 

“Is it a special recipe?” 

“No, not really. I thought of it myself. Put the spices in.”

You follow his order, watching them sink into the rich coloured liquid. Yoongi stirs it three times then places the spoon aside.

“I’m sure that it’ll taste amazing. Your recipes are always the best”, you say.

“Yeah uhm”, Yoongi doesn’t say anything else. Instead he walks to the sink to wash his hands. 

You follow him, attacking him with a back hug so passionately, Yoongi stumbles from side to side. He laughs, pressing back into you while his hands find support by grasping the edge of the sink. 

“You’re such a Boongie”, you mumble into his sweater, squeezing him tightly, “mhm Yoongi, I wanna squish you.”

“Okay, okay I get it”, Yoongi laughs and turns in your arms, “release me before I die of asphyxiation.”

“Asphyxiation the man says as if I have enough strength to choke you to death”, you say in a cackle.

“Hm no, you don’t”, Yoongi agrees and lifts his right hand to flick droplets of water into your face.

“Ah! Hey! Don’t do that”, you squeak, laughing loudly as you wipe your face dry by rubbing it into his sweater.

Yoongi chuckles, “sorry, the opportunity was too tempting not to take it. Are you okay?”

“No, I’m not. I was attacked”, you joke, making him laugh. 

“Sorry”, he says and rests his cheek on your shoulder, closing his eyes as he does. He always closes his eyes when you and he hug. It’s like an instinct to him. 

“It’s okay, don’t worry. Mhm Yoongi, my love”, you say, snuggling into him as your arms tighten around him once again, “you’re so Boongie.”

“What even is a Boongie?”

“What do you mean? A Boongie is exactly how you are. Sweet and cute and full of love and so, so squishable. Yeah, that’s a Boongie.”

Yoongi chuckles, “okay, if you say so. I feel honoured then.”

You nod your head, lifting it a second later so you could meet his eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” you ask him.

“Yeah please”, he allows you with his sparkly eyes flitting to your lips.

You close in for a kiss, meeting Yoongi in the middle because he will always lean in for kisses. 

“Mhm”, he hums, cupping your cheek while his right arm closes around your waist. 

“Hm”, you answer him, hooking your fingers behind his neck.

You and he lose yourselves in the moment while the curry boils on the stove happily and the radio sings its songs.

Sometimes days aren’t good, but that doesn’t mean that with the right company they can’t turn into good days.

[aishangotome]

Alfons Sylvatica: [Mad Love] Epilogue

Chapter 25 His POV

♡———♡

Since I decided to live by Alfons' side - about one season had passed.

Liam: In the end, we couldn't find any weaknesses in Al, right?

During afternoon tea with scones baked by Victor, Liam, who was uncharacteristically off from his stage rehearsals, tilted his head slightly.

Roger: Oh, yeah, I remember talking about that. We even went as far as disguising ourselves and following him to find out his weaknesses.

Elbert: We asked people all over Crown for his weaknesses, but...

All eyes turned on me, and my face flushed with embarrassment.

Kate: I apologize for any inconvenience we may have caused...

Liam: No, not at all. But I was wondering what happened in the end.

Kate: Well... I've gradually come to realize that his weaknesses don't matter, so I still don't know what they are.

As I answered Liam, I reminisced about my days with Alfons.

I had been determined to find his weaknesses and use them to control him, but as I got to know him better, I found herself drawn to him.

Liam: Even El doesn't know? Like, he can't swim or he's afraid of bugs?

Elbert: Al can swim, and I don't think he's afraid of bugs...

Elbert: He seems to have learned a lot since he came to my mansion, and he quickly became proficient in reading, writing, arithmetic, and cooking.

Elbert: He even surpassed me in dancing.

(I see... He's really good at everything, isn't he?)

I always found myself listening intently to the stories that Elbert would tell me about Alfons, because they were always the truth, without any lies.

Roger: Is it okay not to know his weaknesses, lil lady?

Kate: Huh?

Roger: That guy's late-night drinking and slumming habits haven't changed. Don't you feel uneasy not knowing at least one weakness?

Kate: ...Well, if I were to say I wasn't uneasy... I'd be lying.

Even now, Alfons still spends his nights drinking and visiting the slums.

(But that's the way Alfons lives his life, and I don't want to deny it.)

(I don't want to deny the meaning or value of what Alfons is doing.)

Kate: I don't want to find his weaknesses and use them to threaten him.

Kate: I just want him to love me enough that he doesn't look at anyone else.

Liam: Wow, Al is really lucky.

Elbert: ...hehe

Roger: Well, then, maybe you should know another "weakness" of his.

Kate: Another weakness...? What is it?

Roger: Well, of course it's his body.

(His body...)

Kate: - - What are you saying, you pervert!

-

Alfons: You seem rather quiet for someone who's finally been able to see a play after being denied for so long.

Kate: Huh!?

Today is a theater date with Alfons.

I was able to enjoy the play itself, but once my consciousness was drawn back to Alfons from the stage,

The "weakness" story came to mind and I was at a loss for words.

(Roger, because you said that...)

Kate: I really enjoyed it! And I'm glad you invited me.

Alfons: I know you enjoyed it. You were so absorbed in the play that I didn't have time to play any pranks on you during the performance.

Kate: W-were you going to play a prank on me...?

Alfons: You think I would invite you on a wholesome date without any ulterior motives?

The seductive gaze that Alfons was giving me suddenly softened.

Alfons: ...But you were so starry-eyed that even I felt guilty.

I feel like he's been showing me more of this soft, gentle expression lately, not provocative.

(Just that makes me happy and excited... I'm so simple.)

This lover is a terrible scoundrel, but...

At times like this, I realize that I love him, including that part of him.

(What does Alfons like about me...?)

"I want him to like me so much that he doesn't even think about looking at anyone else."

The words I said to Roger were my true feelings.

Once I start to think about it, I got curious and fidgety.

Kate: Um... Alfons.

Alfons: Yes, yes, what is it?

Kate: What do you like about me...?

Alfons: .....

(Oh, he's surprised...)

Alfons immediately looked away as if to hide the fact that he had revealed his true self.

Alfons: Well, let's see, your cat-like qualities, I suppose.

Kate: Cat-like...? Me?

Alfons: Yes. You know, you meow and cling to me,

Alfons: And then the next moment you're sulking...in bed.

Kate: ! ?

Alfons: And you know, you scratch my back mercilessly...

Kate: S-Stop it... I understand.

Alfons: Ah, speak of the devil.

Kate: I said I understand...

Alfons: There's a cat over there.

(Huh...?)

I turned around and saw a small cat looking at us from the top of a fence.

Kate: Wow... It's cute...

The cat jumped down from the fence and rubbed up against Alfons' feet.

Kate: You get along with cats?

Alfons: I feed them on a whim, so the strays around here know my face.

(If he likes my cat-like qualities, maybe I can learn something from cats...?)

Alfons crouched down and the cat rubbed its forehead against his leather gloves.

Alfons: Hehe... I don't have anything for you today, unfortunately.

(Alfons... looks happy...?)

(M-Maybe it's okay to be honest and act spoiled like that sometimes...)

(...Can I do it?)

As I was thinking about this and observing, I suddenly noticed something strange about the cat's hind legs.

(Huh?)

Kate: Alfons, isn't that cat hurt...?

-

Roger: It was probably scratched in a fight with another stray. I disinfected it, so it'll be fine.

Roger disinfected the cat, even though it was swatting at him with its tail, looking grumpy.

Kate: Thank you, Roger.

Roger: Don't worry, I'll get my due.

Alfons: Please collect from the cat, not Kate. It was the cat who was treated.

Roger: Still, I can't believe you're taking a cat home. Is this Kate's influence, too?

Alfons: I don't know what you're talking about.

Roger: You hate cats, don't you?

Kate: Huh!?

(He hates... cats!?)

(But... he said he liked cats the day after we met.)

(And today he just said he liked my cat-like qualities...)

Shocked, I stared at Alfons, but

Alfons: Someone like you wouldn't understand the complex emotions of love and hate.

His face was plastered with a fake smile, and he wouldn't tell me which was the truth.

-

After returning the cat to its dwelling and taking a shower, I changed into my nightdress––,

Before collapsing onto the bed, I opened my mouth.

Kate: About the cat... which is it, really?

Alfons: ...Do you want to ask that while kissing your lover?

Kate: Hmm... but... well, you said I resemble a cat...

Kate: My feelings for you aren't a mix of love and hate... it's pure adoration, and I want you...

Alfons: You're a fool... to take such nonsense seriously.

Alfons: I like cats. But they also remind me of unpleasant memories, so my feelings are complicated.

Alfons: But you're... different, right?

Alfons: You're... like a cute little cat, my plaything.

Kate: Hmm--

While receiving a deep kiss, I ruminated on his words.

"Unpleasant memories" – he will surely never tell me about them.

But I could guess it was probably related to the "rumor of a human turning into a cat," which was the reason Roger met Alfons.

It must be a deep scar in Alfons' heart.

(Maybe it's Alfons' weakness, but)

(I still don't want him to show me his scars...)

More than that – I want to engrave him with fun, pleasant, and happy memories.

So that the old scars are buried and fade enough to be nostalgic.

Kate: Alfons... please give me your hand.

Alfons: ...Hehe, what are you scheming...?

Alfons held out his hand, still covered in a leather glove.

I nibbled at the tip of the nails and slowly removed the glove.

"Removing the glove" is... now a signal for the start of a sweet night,

Usually, I'm the one whose breath is taken away by his gesture of removing it, but––.

Alfons: ––Ah... you're very good at that.

As I slipped off the glove, Alfons' bare hand was revealed.

I dropped the leather glove onto the bed and rubbed my cheek against his palm.

Kate: Hmm...

Alfons: Oh... I thought you were seducing me, but are you just being affectionate?

Kate: ...I'm imitating a cat.

Kate: You said you liked them... so I was observing.

Alfons: Aha, you're quite the diligent student.

Alfons: ––Nn.

The moment I licked his palm, Alfons' fingertips twitched in response.

(...!)

Alfons: ...Surprise attacks are cowardly.

(Was it because it was a surprise attack? Or...)

Kate: ...Hmm.

As if to confirm, I put his fingertip in my mouth this time.

Alfons: ...Nn... ha...

As I ran my tongue over it, a sigh escaped Alfons' lips.

Kate: ...Are your hands weak...?

Alfons: No... I don't think they were, but...

Alfons: ...When I think you're doing it on your own... it tickles.

(...!)

Alfons' reaction made me happy, and the core of my head melted sweetly.

Pretending to forget my embarrassment––,

I licked his finger from the base to the tip of the nail, just like Alfons does, teasingly entwining my tongue.

Kate: Hmm... ha.. is it just... ticklish?

Alfons: ––No.

Alfons: It feels very good.

(...I'm glad.)

Kate: I found a weak spot that makes you feel good, Alfons.

With my head melted in joy, I put his fingertip in my mouth again.

––That was the trigger for the reversal of the situation.

Kate: Nnn..ah!

Alfons: ....When I'm twisting and turning between your tongue like this, it feels like when I'm stirring inside you and it gets me even more excited.

Kate: Nnn, uhh....mmm--!

Alfons: Oh, so you like to be rubbed on top of me as well as inside, do you?

As he freely stirred in my mouth, Alfons narrowed his eyes in ecstasy.

Alfons: Hey, Kate... Shall I teach you more about the weaknesses that makes me feel good?

Kate: Hmm, uh...?

Alfons: I like the feel of your soft hair when you come to me sweetly in the morning.

Alfons: If I were to be selfish, that timing is the best.

Alfons: And the pain from when you scratch my skin because you can't stand the pleasure anymore. I like feeling that so much.

Alfons: And when you're about to come, you like to kiss me with your tongue.

Alfons: I also like it when you say you can't take it anymore, but then you push your hip against me and beg me for more.

Kate: Hmm... huh, what... hmm...

Alfons: ...When I bully you like this by saying embarrassing things,

Alfons: You'll sulk and turn your face away, pouting your lips, right? I'm also weak to that profile.

Alfons: Ah, right now, my fingers are in the way, so you can't hide your face, can you?

Kate: Hmm... huh...

His fingertips pull out of my lips, eliciting a slurping sound.

Alfons: Do you understand what I'm saying?

Kate: Ahh....nnn, ahh....?

The pleasure of him playing with my mouth, and the flood of words filled with love and desire pouring into me at the same time made my head spin.

Alfons: I think I have a weakness for you.

Alfons licked my wet fingertips and laughed.

Kate: That's... unfair.

Alfons: Ah ha! What is?

Kate: Saying things like that... it makes me so happy I could forgive you for anything.

Alfons: Isn't that a good thing? Please forgive me for everything.

With a gentle push to the shoulder, I fell back onto the bed.

I couldn't put any strength into my legs, so I parted them and hung them loosely,

and Alfons licked my wet spot from the bottom to top.

Kate: Ahh...!

Alfons: Do you get this turned on just from me sucking on this spot?

Kate: I... I mean...

Alfons: I'm going to lick you a lot. I know all the weak points that can make you come.

-

Kate: …… Hehe

Roger: You're in a good mood, lil lady. Did something good happen?

Kate: I found out Alfons' weakness.

Roger: Dirty jokes at the breakfast table? You're full of energy.

Kate: N-No, that's not it...!

Kate: …… He said that I was his weakness.

I'm so happy, my chest still feels warm when I think about it.

(Maybe more than I think...)

(Maybe he's fallen for me so much that he won't even look at anyone else...)

(Is that being a little too careless?)

Alfons: Kate, did you already tell that man over there about my weakness?

Kate: Eek!?

Suddenly, a breathy voice whispered in my ear, and I jumped up and turned around.

Alfons was leaning back in his chair, his eyebrows furrowed as if to blame me.

Alfons: I thought it was our secret... You're a cruel person.

Kate: Eh!? I-I'm sorry...!

Alfons: No, I won't forgive you.

Alfons rested his cheek on the back of the chair and smiled mischievously.

Alfons: I'm jealous. Please cheer me up.

(Oh no... I was tricked again.)

Even after all the embarrassing things he did to me last night,

And even though I haven't learned my lesson, he's still playing me like this today.

Kate: I understand. …… I'm sorry for talking about it without your permission. I love you, Alfons.

Alfons: That's not good enough. More passionately.

Kate: Don't get carried away...

But in the end, I'm the one who forgives him for everything––,

Maybe I'm the one who's weak to Alfons.

FIN

-

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[youmarin]

"The Smile Has Left Your Eyes" rant.

*Spoilers below*

Gotta get it off my chest. Mostly bc I hurt for Kim Moo Young .

I read the series summary and I was like, "Mmm okaaay there's gonna be trauma here." To be honest I didn't think grandly of him during the first episodes. Actually I didn't know what to think of Kim Moo Young. A very goodlooking mf who's a loner. He grew in an orphanage after the incident and well he seemed to care for the nuns there but that was it. He didn't let anyone close or felt anything for anyone (the closest thing before things developed was that coworker of his but even they didn't appear too close to be called friends? idk).

Until he overheard that conversation between Seung Ah and Jang Woo Sang, he didn't seem to do stuff that would make him go out of his way. He seemed to be looking to entertain himself even at the cost of other people's well being. That was because he normally was numb minded. He didn't understand people's behaviour, like for example, why people "had" to do things they didn't really want to do. So when he taunted Seung Ah (even though it must've been uncomfortable. I felt like that watching it), I thought, "He's being quite an asshole, but maybe that's his way to try and help her step up for herself?". Think about it, things are never as easy as just saying it. She thought she couldn't get herself out of that situation but Moo Young didn't see things like that. He saw things differently. And so he was like, "If you don't wanna do it then don't." Simple as that.

Seung Ah fell for Moo Young because of that. And I don't think she really loved him either. She was clinging to him to escape her own life, one that was mostly decided for her and that she didn't want. (Plus they've "known" each other for like 2 months. C'mon.)

Still at this point, Moo Youngs motivations regarding Seung Ah were obviously messed up. "I wanted to know what drives a rich girl.", the whole bunch of lies, working up people for the fun of it. I wasn't a fan. He really gave an uneasy feeling (and with that face too. I was like, "Damn he's so fine but something's really wrong with him. Can't say I like him but I don't unlike him" lmao). And all that game got two people killed (which of course he didn't plan on it to end like that, and it was her fiancé, speeding and being drunk off his ass that didn't even bother to press the breaks before they crashed. ). But feeling nothing over it? Something's up up there in his head.

Same with Lim Yu Ri. He keeps her from ending her life and she catches feelings (he collects broken girls and broken girls love him 💀). He learns she's on a tough spot with another girl who's extorting her. And he intervenes again and helps someone who's also clearly not in her right mind to commit murder. Moo Young stands and watches. And then goes and cleans it up. ( 🚩❗)

Seung-Ah's and Jeong Mi Yeon's death were not his doing. Directly. But he did stuff that lead to that end. And still, no remorse, no guilt. Nothing. Again, technically he didn't do it so why would he feel those? But well, any other person would, wouldn’t they?

It's understandable and logical for Jin Gook to be a worried brother and not want Jin Kang near him. Oh but wait! Jin Gook might know the guy! From way back when he was a little boy! He's aware of the great possibility that Moo Young might be actually the son of a criminal he accidentally shot to death more than twenty years ago. And that Jin Kang and Moo Young's pasts are linked. But Jin Gook is scared for Jin Kang and more scared for himself to face the past and burst the bubble he's been trying to keep for so long (though it's still eating him alive).

Unfortunately for him, Jin Kang falls in love with Moo Young and for her, Moo Young decides to try an be a good person and stop acting as he had been until then. With her help.

"Promise me you'll be a good person." "Then teach me."

And he starts getting curious again about the past he'd forgotten about thanks to (funny, huh) the car crash he was in with Seung Ah and Jang Woo Sang. And what does Jin Gook decides to do? Stab. the. guy. A police officer. Oh and after calling Moo Young a murderer, a devil and everything he could come up with. Talking big when he had also killed someone (be it an accident, that the person was a murderer and that he might've ended up sentenced with death anyway, it doesn't take away that he killed someone).

And then everyone at the station being normal about it?? "Oh there was no report." Nobody investigated shit. Tak So Jung saw the footage and still did shit about it. But that also lead to Moo Young seeking the doctor (the doctor who let go an amnesic 7 year old boy from a hospital alone to who knows where with nobody to take care of him. Just relying on chance, "Maybe it'll be better". Like some sort of study subject.).

More questions were brought to Moo Young. The only thing the doctor could tell him was that his father fell to his death. But he knew that wasn't it because every time that the memory came he saw and heard a gun fired. So he goes to where they say his father died, finds his house (that scene when he's inside the house and the memories come back full force that he falls to the ground. Ok, kill me now that was so intense.) And he finds out that his girlfriend's brother is his father's killer. Now, how can he tell her that?

He goes back, he's angry, he has to know the rest. He breaks into Jin Gook and Jin Kang's house. Finds an old missing child poster with his picture in it. Then he reaches out for help with Jang Woo Sang's older sister (from the people he got tangled with in the beginning and that Jin Kang had stopped him from getting involved with again. And Jin Kang had told him that those people were capable of anything. Honestly didn't get that woman's deal. She was really a bitch who loved nobody and loved toying with people. Girl, get a life won't you. Mind your business.) He asks for a gun and breaks in again into their house. When Jin Gook arrives he sees Moo Young's shoes in the entryway. And he admits that he shot his father. Moo Young asks why and tells him he ruined his childhood and family. But was he really going to shoot him? I don't know. I really want to believe he wouldn’t shoot him. Because Jin Gook is important to Jin Kang. And I know he said a couple of times "You're just you to me." Which basically I translate to "The hell with your brother." (plus he stabbed him. I have resentment over that lol. Like, what was the reason?).

But I'm glad we didn't see that happen (for Moo Young. The grudge again 💀). Later he finds out that the story he had made around his drawing, the sole clue he was left with for a long time was actually not true. His dad, who he thought had in a moment searched for him, was not a police officer (that was Jin Gook, in fact), it was a murderer. A murderer who killed his mom and two others (when I heard about the other two people that's when I realized, "Ok those are Jin Kang's parents" and the idea that popped into my head when Tak So Jung told Jin Gook "If that's the boy you were searching they can't be together.", that Jin Kang and Moo Young were siblings, was wrong. But they scared me for a sec. with that. I was like, "Hell nah I love SIG but what's up with his dramas always having smthn (the age gaps in Café Minamdang and High School King of Savvy? Mostly the Minamdang one. Don't get me wrong I still loved the shows but there was that fact that eek! Aand now incest? Pls no. And thank GOD it wasn't. Phew 😬😅😂)

Continuing, Moo Young feels disgusted (for someone who barely felt anything now he feels this great love for Jin Kang and is so troubled with all the things he's found out, and the things still left for him to know) and that it now makes sense his way of being. The Dr. tells him his past and his father's doing have nothing to do with him and that he's an example of that.

"You're just you."

The "I love you" text. She knew he was in pain.

"Are you really ok with who I am?" "I want to be born again." 🥺💔

"To be born again you have to live in a warm house. A warm house smells like warm rice."

And when she got burnt and he was so worried and it brought another piece of the puzzle of his memory. He and Jin Kang had been together all along.

(Also that scene of them comparing their scars? I was not okay.💔) "They look like a map. And we followed that map to get here."

But he got it wrong and believed they were siblings (also bc of that lying bitch of Jang Woo Sang's sister. Honestly I didn't think he'd believe her. He always was so "Don't trust people, people are nothing." So clever, used to lie and play around like that that I thought he'll ask for proof or something. But that was how he remembered it and well the bitch hadn't lied to him until that point so oh well) and couldn't tell Jin Kang because he loved her. But not the way a brother loves a sister. And how could he tell her that yes, your dad is the same as mine, a murderer who killed our mom and two more people. And even when he found out that thankfully they were not siblings he still didn't want Jin Gook to tell her anything because still the truth wasn't much better. His father killed her parents.

And then Kim Moo Young commited murder trying to protect Jin Kang when he didn't have to.

"I killed someone when I felt human the most."

Jin Kang unable to believe it and breaking down saying he couldn’t have done it, that he couldn’t even stand seeing a bird or a fish hurt. Because she knew him better than anyone. He truly was sensitive.

How Moo Young hugged Jin Gook (See that? No need for hurting him more, man.) Left him a note. Signed with his real name. 💔

"When I met Jin Kang I was able to breathe again." 😭

And when she pointed a gun to her forehead his façade vanished.

"Go back."

"To where? You've been there from the start."

The fucking ending. She made him admit that he wanted to live right before that mf came in and shot her first, that being the last thing he saw, breaking his heart one last time before he was shot and died too.

How she didn't get to say "I love you" back. He only got to say it while he was dying and she just texted it to him. And it was probably the first time he remembered ever saying it to someone. Like when Jin Kang asked him if he had ever really liked someone and he said, "you."

How in the beginning he was the one who looked over and treasured Jing Kang but no one looked over him for so long until she came around again years later without remembering him and finally showed him love.

(And how it was her voice now that woke him up from the nightmare/memory.)

I hated that they always kept Jin Kang in the dark. Like, tell her something pls. Enlighten the woman too. She died and never got to know the mess that made Moo Young break up with her. She missed so much. Trying to protect her that much ended bad.

How different would've been things maybe if Moo Young also had had someone like Jin Kang did. (?)

If Jin Gook had told them everything!!! Instead of being so against them. Moo Young made mistakes but he then tried (and it really showed in his eyes how he instantly regretted it when Jin Gook treated him like that. Because he wasn't doing it for him, he was doing it for Jin Kang.). And Jin Gook was always like, "You can start afresh" (even though he always carried his grief and regret but still, he tried to believe that but apparently that didn't apply to Moo Young or wtf).

Loved, loved, loved the scene when they first slept together, how full of love and how they couldn't help their laughter because of how happy they were at that momemt. All the times she squished his face. So cute hahah. And when he carried her inside his house. How she helped him make his house a home. He didn't even have a single glass because, what was the need for those things? He's the only one who's ever there.

And that scene when he's looking at the night sky and cries and Jin Kang appears there. "How didn't I know? There are so many beautiful things in the world." And then the shot shows him lying there alone. I don't have a heart anymore, this show stepped on it and shattered it. 💔 It was so sad but such a beautiful scene.

When she told her smthn like, I hope you always have things like plants to water and food you have to eat before it spoils and that those stuff cling to you and all that. For him to keep living and enjoying the simple things. Things that in the end they didn't have the chance to live for. 🥺🥲

Other stuff that ended me:

"You planted love in her heart". "I don't believe it but I hope it's true."

"You protected her with your tiny body." "Now I feel proud of my big, ugly scar." (And this got me thinking how he protected her back then and then she did the same and took the bullet for him. But in the end both got burned and both were shot 💔💔💔)

And the songs "Lost", "Star". Loved them. And "Hidden Memory" (again, that whole scene).

Anyways, great name. I have puffy eyes thanks to this drama. The smile left me eyes.

I'll edit this if something else comes up in my head later but I had to write all these so I can process what I just finished watching yesterday evening.

[just-another-blog-of-fluff]

Can we get a teaser from your next prompt?

Admittedly, I hadn't started writing beyond plot-mapping until the last few days 😅 I'm finally starting to regain some motivation and mental capacity to write now that I've settled into parenthood a little more.

It will likely still be a bit before I have a completed fic to post, but here is a preview of what I have written out so far (under the cut) - bear with me, I'm VERY out of practice. As a refresher, the next prompt is where the reader forgets their relationship with Loki due to a spell/blip in the multiverse (see my Masterpost for more details):

"Darling, are you alright??"

Your head snapped up the moment you heard the door slam open. As your gaze met Loki's, your eyes widened.

"You... how did you get in here?" you demanded.

"I... walked?" he responded in jest, tilting his head in confusion.

"You know what I mean! How did you get in the tower? How did you get past security??" There was an unfamiliar animosity in your tone that made Loki uneasy.

"I don't follow."

A laugh burst from your chest - not the bright, infectious laughter Loki had come to love, but a sharp, sarcastic bark that cut like a dagger. "You don't think I know who you are?" Your hands clenched into fists at your sides. "Why are you here? Is this some pathetic attempt at vengeance against the Avengers?"

Loki took a step towards you and you flinched, taking a compensatory step back. You squared your shoulders and straightened your posture, shifting your weight defensively to your toes as though preparing to run. He paused at your harsh reaction, his brow furrowing.

"Darling, is this your way of getting revenge on me for earlier? I told you already I-"

"Earlier? I've never met you - what do you mean earlier??" Your eyes flashed with a look of panic and indignation. "Have you been spying on me?? Biding your time until you could barge in here and take me as a hostage in your sick little game?"

Loki was beginning to feel a burning sense of desperation in the pit of his stomach. You were being completely nonsensical, acting as though you were frightened of him. The former would-be tyrant was well acquainted with glances of terror from the general public, but not from you. Never from you.

"If this is a joke, it isn't funny any longer." Loki began advancing toward you once again.

"A joke?" With your gaze firmly fixed on Loki, you reached blindly behind yourself, hand fumbling along the surface of the table before closing around the barrel of a syringe. You whipped it out in front of yourself threateningly, knuckles turning white from the intensity of your grip. "I'll show you just how serious I am!"

"Now hold on a moment! Please, darling, let's be reasonable here-"

"Stop calling me that!" you demanded furiously, raising the syringe higher as if to frighten him into submission. Loki lifted his hands up in front of himself in surrender, halting in his advance.

"I don't understand what's going on here, but I swear to you on my life I would never cause you harm. You have to believe me!"

"Believe you? The God of Lies?" That sharp, sarcastic laugh escaped your lips once again. "You must think I'm a fool. I may be a simple medic, but I'm stronger than I look. I won't be taken down without a fight!"

[decepti-thots]

@largishcat: oh you GOTTA tell me about your missed opportunity getaway thunderclash narrative foil angst

Getaway is interesting because he is in fact a very good representation of what a character who looks confident but covers deep-seated insecurities actually acts like. Getaway relies heavily on propping up his poor self-esteem by faking confidence, mostly by way of tearing the people around him down; he has no actual confidence in his own worth and so faking it, for him, involves making sure everyone is below his level. It's a particular maladaptive coping mechanism that people with longterm low self-esteem can often fall prey to when trying to climb their way out of it, unfortunately, and in Getaway's case we see the most toxic possible manifestation of it. He doesn't really, truly feel like he's on top, so he wants to crush everyone else and put them under his heel because it's the closest thing he can get to self worth.

Thunderclash, by contrast, is shown as a very secure and confident person. He is also kind, considerate, and genuinely a joy to be around. Thunderclash doesn't maintain his cheerful confidence and top-dog position by tearing people down. He makes people feel good. Look at what he does in his introductory issue, the Rewind documentary one. Everyone he meets loves him because he makes them feel valued. Thunderclash respects and validates Drift's extremely unusual religious beliefs. He doesn't treat Magnus' niche, dry interests as a drag, but compliments his work regarding them and shows him, again, respect. This is what pisses Rodimus off. Rodimus veers between genuine self-confidence (cockiness) and some underlying self-doubt, as Magnus observes in the Annual; he is legitimately egotistical and also in some specific ways insecure. Those insecurities come out around Thunderclash because Rodimus doesn't make people feel effortlessly good like that. He's thoughtless and sometimes quite callous and can't seem to fix it. His crew don't love him (at this point in the story) the way they clearly love Thunderclash. The difference isn't competence; Thunderclash isn't Rodimus' foil because he's 'better' in an abstract sense. It's that Thunderclash is someone not just confident, but so self-secure he gives that confidence to everyone around him and never once thinks to put other people down, and it makes it obvious what a thin veneer barely holding together Rodimus' captaincy is.

So. Thunderclash sort of doesn't work great, IMO, past the initial Bit TM, because definitionally he is a bit of an exaggerated one-off caricature and not a psychologically fleshed out character. It falls flat when repeated and he can't be like, a regular actual cast member and not be sort of boring. However! The decision to make Thunderclash one of the people who sides with Getaway is interesting, because it potentially highlights that, well, Getaway may have been lying out his teeth about his noble intentions and principled opposition to Megatron. But Thunderclash is, by narrative logic, basically… ontologically selfless and without ego. That's his whole thing. So Thunderclash shows that while Getaway is a bad guy, the people who followed Getaway because they bought into his lies are not automatically wrong or bad. (First Aid being revealed to have agreed is also a part of this!)

The truncated run Lost Light gets really buggered the chance to play with this, but imagine. Getaway has taken over the Lost Light. He's trying to hold together all his lies and the front he is putting up to hide his real motivations and problems. The crew is getting a little more uneasy every negative choice he makes- the refusal to stop and help people, the intense focus on the quest at the expense of everything and everyone, all his little slip ups. But more than that, Getaway is trying to persuade everyone he's the ace captain who is utterly confident when Thunderclash is there as a counterexample, constantly remembering to do and say all the little things Getaway doesn't. Frowning when Getaway props his ego up by negging someone. Going 'hey, wait, we can afford a detour to answer that distress call, surely' when Getaway pretends to regretfully blow it off. An unavoidable reminder to Getaway that he is faking it, one he can't just toss out an airlock because half the people following Getaway did it because look, if Thunderclash agrees with the guy, it MUST be the right thing to do.

I think it would drive Getaway slowly, slowly nuts. It's his own psychological torture chamber. I wanted it so bad! In my head it exists and it's what the little shithead deserves, I say with love.

imo the best example in mtmte of 'most fandom spaces have a lot of people who struggle to write a super confident character as anything but faking it/secretly anxious' is the minor tendency to characterise thunderclash as somehow deeply insecure under the surface, as though the entire gag of his character isn't that he is in fact as precisely perfect and lovely as he seems to be, and it's not even slightly a facade. thunderclash being completely and genuinely secure in himself without feeling the need to achieve this by putting other people down is like. part and parcel of the fact rodimus finds him infuriating. you lose that whole bit if you say thunderclash is faking it!

[sirpainbagel]

End of the Year Positivity

Tagged by  → @joeys-piano

Tagging  → @monocide @antitdbks @loveandcoff3e @chihxru @phoenixdaneko @wingthis @shamilvolkov and any mutuals that I haven’t tagged because I’m a coward who hasn’t talked to them much yet 

Name one thing you did this year that you’re proud of. 

I worked really really hard to get into this new university I’m currently at, studying music. Now that I’m here, it’s an absolute dream compared to where I was before it wasn’t terrible, it was just far from my classically trained background and what I wanted to do in life. Creatively, I made huge leaps and bounds in a story that I’ve been drafting and outlining over the past few years. The progress in my creative life and the new friends and life choices I’ve made this year really make me happy.

Tell us an experience you enjoyed this year. 

At the end of October, I visited my friends up at my previous university. I nearly burst into tears just stepping out of the airplane. The friends I made up there and the way that I presented myself cemented a great positive change for myself as a person. The morning before I had to leave, I asked my friend if we could go to the beach together. She said ‘yes,’ just because. Without pressure to speak, tell stories, or keep a constant conversation, we just walked the long path to the beach. As I stared out at that vast expanse of water, breathed in the sea breeze, and stood hand-in-hand with good company, I was reminded that life is alright sometimes. 

Talk about something that has improved for you this year, however large or small. 

My work habits. Before I went to university, I was addicting to churning out products and good grades that I neglected my person. Now, though, it’s become much easier for me to accept that I need a break from people, I need a break from productivity, and I need a break from believing the world relies on me. Even though I took a lot of breaks and let myself be very leisurely this semester, I still got a 4.0 at my new university in my first semester!!

What are you looking forward to?

At this university, the head of the music education department very emphatically stresses that we, as music ed majors, will be doing this for the rest of our lives. Being told this, not being able to change to a performance major, and my general habit of spiraling made me very stressed. But I spoke with my family and we agreed that after I get my degree and teaching credential, I can try out being a freelancer (for art and music). 

I’m looking forward to creating things that I love to create, writing/arranging songs for the first time, and just doing the things that I like to do. I’d love to make new friends with similar passions as well (so anyone that wants to create something together, or just wants to chat for a bit, I’d love to start talking with you!)

Also looking forward to making more progress in a webcomic I’m planning!!

Anything else you’d like to say?

Happy New Year’s! Make it a good one!!!

Or else.

[bewitchedleague]

How does Kratos, Thor and Odin love you.

a/n; in this, we dive into their feelings they hold dearly inside of them for you, and possibly - the repercussion of them. stay safe, and enjoy. - witch

Kratos

    Staring. Even if you're both in a crowded area, Kratos can't help but check for your figure since he needs to make sure you're secure and that nothing is making you feel overwhelmed or uneasy. He is constantly moving to provide for you, even when there isn't really anything to do. As a result, he can appear out of nowhere with a cup of water for you or a new pelt coat that he fashioned himself after making a lot of mistakes. Always strives to motivate you to perform better; may come out as harsh while doing so, but has your best interests at heart. Has a temper but always tries to listen to you before speaking out since he is aware that if you two are arguing over something, he can be intimidating. He never raises his voice towards you and makes an effort to avoid sounding overly demanding or unpleasant. It's simply the way he is, but he goes above and beyond to ensure that he isn't frightening you in any way. A hug as you part ways, a kiss in the dark, holding each other in the dark before going to bed, and other expressions of affection come and go just as quickly.

- Possibly too severe. Too sincere. Will frequently damage your feelings by telling the truth, and if you don't let him know, it will take some time for him to figure it out on his own.

Thor

    Always takes your side, pays attention to your needs, and listens to what you have to say about a situation. despite the fact that you are capable of taking care of yourself, always worries when you are by yourself because he has a soft spot for you and is frightened that it might be used against him in the future. Thor constantly showers you with love while you're alone, but he may occasionally be cold toward you when you're among other people because he doesn't want anyone to know how he really feels about you. However, Heimdall persists in making fun of him about it, so that everyone else knows. Likes to drink modestly with you and will try any form of alcohol you might enjoy. He prefers the sweeter alcohols, but will try any others you might find enjoyable. Ask Thor about it, and he won't know; the food and drink you like the most will just happen to be by your bedside when you wake up.

- On the other hand, if it impacted you or your safety, would occasionally act impulsively and search for your solution. Very unyielding when it comes to choices or beliefs he holds dear to his heart.

Odin

    The kingdoms are yours to use as you like, a pricey love. It could be jewelry, clothes, amulets, or really anything. Odin was always so kind with you; you would never have imagined he was capable of such gentleness. Without even mentioning the wonderful, sweet words that would come out of his mouth, he would hold your chin while complimenting you on how beautiful you looked and arrange your hair. You could always count on him to say the right thing to you at the right time to quickly soothe your anger, sadness, or anxiety. Being important to the Allfather meant that he would always send you on missions with at least one other person who he knew to be very strong and capable of defending you in case anything went wrong. He gives you a soft kiss that is unlike the typical Odin you encounter every day, keeps this side hidden so that only you can see it, and makes a pledge not to abandon you. You were untouchable. And that's how he wanted to keep it.

- Tells white lies frequently, but only for your benefit. He doesn't want you to know what his kids think of you in reality. has expectations for you that occasionally might be disappointed, but he never tells you about them.

Do not copy or translate my works.

[velvetcloxds]

COLLECTOR OF BROKEN THINGS| J.P.

Pairing: James x Fem!Reader

Word count: 2455 words

Warnings: mentions of emotionally abusive parent, somewhat angsty 

Summary:  After denying her feelings for James, the reader asks him to sneak up to the astronomy tower with her, taking the opportunity to finally be truly vulnerable in front of him.  

“I have a question,” Sirius notes, hand reaching to grab another chocolate-frog from the pile of candy thrown onto James’ bed. “Who do you think she’d choose between the four of us?” He asks and James eyes him curiously.

“What do you mean?” He questions, biting into his own treat.

“Well, we certainly know her better than anyone else, so I’m thinking that if she’d ever consider dating someone, we’d have a better shot than some random bloke in school,” Sirius explains with a numb shrug, leaning back against the headboard, Remus and Peter mimicking James’ confusion.

“Why do you care?” Peter asks, eyeing the last chocolate-frog carefully, wanting to take it until James beats him to it. He sighs softly before folding his arms and looking back at the raven-haired boy.

“I don’t know,” Sirius offers lightly, smiling when he notices Peter’ gaze shifting back to the chocolate in James’ hands. “Just curious I guess; we’ve been friends with her for so long and Y/n still seems like a mystery.”

“To you,” Remus notes with a scoff, lifting his eyes from his fingers which are fiddling with one of Sirius’ rings. “I think she’s taken a bit more of a liking to one of us,” He grins as he nods towards James, who is conveniently preoccupied with disposing of the candy wrappers. The boys laugh lightly, knowing that this is the complete opposite direction that James wanted this conversation to head in.

“I know you’re looking at me,” James offers with a light eyeroll, hand rushing though his hair as he leans back against the headboard as well. “And I’d have you know that she wouldn’t consider dating any of you fools,” He states plainly, throwing the unopened chocolate-frog onto Peter’s lap, the boy smiling gratefully as he takes the candy into his hands. “And that includes me.”

“Oh, you’ve tried your luck, have you?” Sirius muses, bumping the boy’s shoulder lightly with his own earning another group of laughs. “Did she turn you down, Prongs? Break your little heart?” He questions with a playful smile which is quickly removed when James punches him on the arm, not too hard, but hard enough to prove his point.

“It’s complicated,” James finally says meekly, looking between the three of them as Sirius drapes an arm around his shoulder, picking up on the boy’s mood shift.  Remus watches the interaction carefully, preparing to change the subject to protect the peace when a soft knock sounds at the door.

“Did you invite a girl up here?” Peter asks, looking to Sirius for an answer, Sirius shakes his head.

“It’s been a slow week,” He states plainly, “Besides, it’s the middle of the night, no girl would risk it, not even for me.” The second knock is louder and James sighs lightly as he pushes Sirius’ arm away to get up.

“James?” A soft voice questions and the boys all freeze, James looking at the door with large eyes and furrowed brows. “It’s me. It’s Y/n,” She clarifies in the same tone although it wasn’t necessary at all, he’d recognize her voice anywhere.

“James, she shouldn’t be here,” Remus offers quickly, standing up from the bed as well. “It’s way past curfew and she shouldn’t be in the Gryffindor dorms,” He stills at the boy’s side, frowning as he too looks at the still closed door. “She can get in a lot of trouble,” Remus notes worried, both about the fact that she may get onto trouble but also because she may very well be in trouble already if she’s here.

“Boys?” She asks, voice a little louder, though still not loud enough to announce her presence to anyone other than the fours boys in the room. “I can hear you in there,” She notes which causes a slight shuffle as Remus pushes James towards the door, inaudible words of motivation drifting from his lips when James carefully turns the doorknob.

“Hi,” James offers meekly as he opens the door, stumbling to the side as the girl comes into view. She smiles slightly, pulling at her jumper sleeves and focusing her attention to the ground where she shifts her weight between her feet. A warmth spreads through James’ body at the adorable sight, his own lips tilting into a smile.

“What are you doing here, Y/n?” Sirius questions cautiously, meeting at Remus’ side.

“I don’t know,” She replies after a moment, hesitantly looking up to meet James’ eyes. “I couldn’t sleep and so I decided to take a walk and somehow I ended up here.” She explains, pulling at her sleeves even more as she grips them between her fingers.

“Do you want to come in?” James smiles reassuringly as he looks at her, stepping aside to invite her in, but she shakes her head, eyes not leaving his. “What do you want to do, love?” He questions carefully and her cheeks flush at the words. Y/n was no stranger to the boys using little nicknames when they talked to her, it was their way of showing her they cared, but something about the word dripping from the lips of James Potter had her feeling some type of way.

“I was wondering if maybe you wanted to accompany me to the astronomy tower?” She looks around the room, taking in their ever-growing confusion.

“All of us?” Peter asks, still positioned on the bed as he peaks between Sirius and Remus to meet Y/n’s gaze at the door.

“No,” She answers quickly, blushing again when the boys deliver a shared hum of acknowledgement, and she turns back to James. “Just you,” She clarifies and shrugs lightly when James smiles down at her. “Only if you want to…”

“Of course, I do,” James replies too quickly, ignoring the less than subtle smirks on his friends’ silent lips. “Let me put on a shirt and shoes, yeah?” He nods at her quickly, catching Remus’ worried glare when he walks into the dorm, grabbing the nearest jumper and pulling it on, searching around for his shoes.

“You okay, darling?” Sirius asks while James’ searches and Y/n musters a small smile.

“I’m fine, Siri, don’t worry,” Sirius furrows his brows, raking his eyes over her for any sign of the opposite and then nods, mustering a smile of his own.

“You’ll tell us if you’re not?” Remus inquires in return, James stumbling to the door as he slips on his shoe.  She merely nods, stepping into the hall for James to join her. However, a strong hand on his shoulder stops him. “Take the cloak,” Remus commands calmly and nods towards the girl in the hall, he leans forward. “Look out for her.”

“Always,” James tells him, nodding at Peter when he hands him the cloak. “Always.”

“You didn’t tell them,” She notes after a while of silent walking, James looking around every few minutes to make sure that they’re still alone in the halls. She steals a glance his way, biting her lip at his nervous behavior. “You tell them everything, but it didn’t seem like you told them this,” He nods, looking up as they climb the stairs to their destination.

“They didn’t have to know,” James looks around  the tower quickly, giving a slight nod when there’s no one there, gesturing for her to come in as well. “I knew there was a chance that you only liked me as a friend and I’m completely fine with that,” He tilts his head to look at her when she stills at his side. “It’s fine, love,” He shrugs. “I’m not upset, I’m not hurt. You’re one of my best friends and as long as that stays the same then it’s fine.”

“No,” She whispers, James not hearing her objection as he walks over to the railing, dropping the cloak next to him as he looks down at all of Hogwarts with the night breeze ruffling through his hair. “It’s not fine,” She clarifies, louder though shaky as he turns around to see her. “It’s why I couldn’t sleep. I’ve been thinking about it all week, “ She ignores the intense frown on his face as she settles beside him, looking at the view as well. “I handled it wrong, and I lied,” James’ interest is peaked with her last statement, his body turning to look at her.

“What do you mean?” He questions carefully, watching her from the side as she considers her reply, eyes drifting around tiredly.

“You told me that you liked me, and I told you that I didn’t like you back- which was a lie,” She shakes her head, fingers tightening around the railing. “A horrendous lie, because I don’t just like you, James, I think I may be falling in love with you,” Her voice fades, words falling from her lips like she had no control over them, and James can’t fight the delighted smile which they prompt from him. The expression doesn’t last though, his shoulders sinking when he realizes that the girl beside him wears a contrasting frown instead.

“Why did you lie?” He asks her softly, inching closer to her. Y/n simply shakes her head, refusing to meet the boy’s gaze for even a second, his presence being enough to set every nerve in her body on fire. He gently lays his hand over one of hers, the subtle motion making her look up at him instantly. “Why did you lie, love?”

“You’ll think I’m being silly,” She admits shyly, allowing James’ fingers to entwine with her own.

“I could never,” He promises her with a soft nod.

“It terrifies me,” She begins, already squirming for words as the dark-haired boy watches her intently, eyes begging for more as he smiles encouragingly. “I want more than anything to know what it feels like to be loved, James and it’s ridiculous, but that is utterly terrifying to me,” She mindlessly turns around towards him, other hand drifting to his wrist. “Being loved by you terrifies me,” James can’t hide his confusion, her words stirring an uneasy wave of concern in his stomach.

“Why?” Is all he offers as a question in return, not wanting to seem too eager for an explanation, while also being utterly and completely lost.

“You collect broken things, James,” She explains after a second, James’ brows furrowing as he waits for more. “Remus, Sirius, me. You collect broken things, and you try with all your might to fix them and I’m scared that once you realize that I can’t be fixed, you’ll leave me. I’m scared because I don’t want to be just another broken piece in your collection,” James’ questioning gaze softens completely as he watches her eyes fall away from his again and he releases a slow and shaky sigh.

James knew of Y/n’s family situation. He knew that things were difficult with her father, and he knew that Y/n faced plenty of internal struggles. She tried to please everyone, she searched for constant validation, she quite regularly mistakes being used for being needed and she feared failure like it may very well kill her. He had watched her grow more and more anxious as her father’s mental abuse worsened. He watched parts of her slip away and though he remembered who she was vividly, he cared for her far too much to not embrace every part of who she was now.

“You’re not broken,” James informs her simply, sympathetic to her worries yet not entirely happy with her insinuation that there is something wrong with her.

“But I am, James,” She shakes her head, trying to step away but failing when James keeps her still linked hand in his tight grip. “I am, and maybe you can’t see it yet or maybe you just care too much to accept it, but sometimes I can’t see where I begin and where the symptoms of who he is end. “ She allows him to pull her closer, breath caught in her throat as she bites back the tears that formed in her eyes without her permission.

“I can,” He notes with a tight tone, eyes raking over her features as she releases a soft whimper, a single tear trailing over her cheek. “I know exactly who you are, Y/n and I know that though it may feel like it, you are not broken. “ He reaches forward to delicately cup her cheek, catching the tears that spill from her glossy eyes. “I don’t believe you are, and I don’t believe you need to be fixed, but my love, even if you were broken, I still wouldn’t be anywhere other than right at your side. I’d fill your cracks with melted gold, and I’d never ever let anyone come close enough to shatter you again.”

“James,” She quivers, body trembling lightly under his touch and James moves to pull her into his embrace, but she stops him with a gentle hand on his chest .

“I know,” He almost whispers, eyes searching for hers even though he’s staring directly into them. “I know, you’re afraid,” He takes a step closer, accepting her request not to hug her and settling for being as close to her as possible, mindfully moving his thumb across her wet cheek. “I also know that even if you haven’t said it yet, the thought has crossed your mind...” He observes her breathing out slowly, her hand moving to grip his wrist. “I am not your father, Y/n. I will never do anything that could hurt you the way that he has. Do you believe that? Do you trust me?” His question is met with a gentle nod, her eyes closing as she leans into his hand.

“I trust you,” She voices in a whisper, like she’s reminding herself instead of him. He smiles at her, watching as she carefully removes his hand from her cheek, holding his fingers to place the softest whisper of a kiss on the inside of his palm. “I know you’d never hurt me, James. It’s just difficult.”

“We’ll take it slow,” James offers, nodding when her eyes open, a reluctant smile tugging at her lips as she keeps his hand in her own. “As slow as you want, my love. I just want you to feel safe,” He pauses to look at her, her tears drying as she looks up at him expectantly, mimicking the fragile girl who was standing in his doorway a few minutes ago and he smiles. “I just want you to know what love feels like, Y/n and I’m honored to be the one to show you,” A blush creeps onto her cheeks and James’ is sure she would’ve squirmed away from him by now, but she doesn’t- she doesn’t need to.  

In his collection of broken things, she’s his most prized possession. 

Hi there, more of my work can be found on Wattpad under @mjoubertt. Mxx.

Masterlist

[ayatai]

Using this as motivation to finish a ficlet from my todo pile!

Pacing

Sighing, Edgar gave up trying to sleep and slipped out of his temporary bedroom. His own room was currently being used by the woman that would, by this time tomorrow, be his wife.

He wandered to the lower floor of the castle, where he could pace around the hallways in a circle. He was almost surprised he hadn’t worn a groove in the stone floor, given how many nights he had spent sorting through his thoughts walking this familiar route.

The routine wasn’t helping tonight, however. Three laps around and he was no closer to settling his uneasiness. His mother desired this wedding, and what Mother wanted, Mother got. That was the way it had always been. And besides, Mother only wanted what was best for him, right? She loved him.

Part of him also wanted this wedding. A big part. What he wanted, more than anything, was a friend. Or at least, someone to pass the days with. This might be his only chance.

And why would she be friends with me? Especially after we gave her no choice?

She would learn to love him. Eventually, she would realize they had made the best choice for her, elevating her status from peasant to princess.

Or at least, that’s what Mother said.

Another lap done.

He had told himself that he couldn’t sleep because of pre-wedding nerves combined with the unfamiliar bed. But he knew the true reason was he couldn’t quite quiet the other, smaller part of him, no matter how much Mother told him to. The part that was screaming wrong, wrong, this is wrong.

How can it ever be a genuine friendship… marriage… if it is born of lies and coercion?

But what did it matter, anyway? Even if he decided he didn’t want to go through with it, it wasn’t like he could simply tell Mother no. He knew his mother. In a few hours, Rosella would be married or she would be dead. Even asking to cancel the wedding might be enough to seal her fate.

Oh, dearest. Is she not good enough for you? I did wonder what you saw in her. Well then, I suppose she’s of no more use to us. Guido!

A guard drooped at his post as it watched him round the corner again. It was getting late; if he remained paralyzed like this, his inaction would be action in itself.

By the time he looped around once more, the guard had nodded off completely, his head hung low on his chest and bobbing rhythmically. Edgar had never understood how they could sleep standing up like that, but it wasn’t uncommon for them to do so.

For the first time, Edgar paused in his pacing, staring at the lax guard. It wasn't uncommon at all.

He had noticed Rosella's fierce spirit even as she tried to hide it from his mother. Had seen her strength and courage as she completed what should have been impossible tasks. She deserved better than a fake marriage.

She deserves someone better than me.

He turned on his heel, hurrying toward the east wing. If he was quick… maybe, just maybe, he could take matters into his own hands for once.

I issue a challenge, King’s Quest people.

Write at least one unpolished micro-fic this week and post it.

Do this thing.

[dreamescapeswriting]

I Hate To Admit ~ Bang Chan [Request]

WORD COUNT:1.6K

PAIRING: Chan x GN!Reader

GENRE: Angst, fluffy

A/N: I made it a fluffy ending I cant help it.

The longer that Chan sat there listening to the rain outside the window the more he began to grow uneasy about everything he had done that day. It was his turn to release an Skz-Record and he'd written something from the heart, something he'd been holding back on for so long that he needed to get out. Now it had been out in the world for almost eight hours and he was already wondering about you, had you seen it yet? What did you think about it? Did you even know that it was about you? Would you even care that he had done something like that?

The clock on his desk began blinking as it reached midnight and he knew he was going to have to head back to the dorms sooner or later but he didn't want to. As much as he loved being around the boys he needed some time alone, time to think about everything he had lost and he didn't want to go back yet. The boys all knew who the song was going to be about which meant they were going to have a million and one questions about you, why you had left in the first place, why he'd written such a sad song and why Chan would never tell the boys what had truly happened to you. Going back to them met admitting that he missed you and he did, he missed you every minute of every day but he could never say that out loud to anyone but himself. There were times where your voice still echoed in the back of his mind and being at the studio was one of the moments he still felt as though he was close to you. Imagining you sat on the chairs behind him waiting for him to finish one of the pieces he was working on. He still pictured you waiting up for him at the dorms, sitting in one of his shirts playing video games or passed out on the sofa so tired from waiting for him but you would always be there.

"Chan? You ready?" He snapped out of his daydream as he glanced over at the door, his manager had been watching him for a few minutes debating about interrupting the young man's thoughts.

"No, I'm...I'm going to work on this a little more," He lied as he turned back to the blank laptop screen, he was already so tired it wouldn't matter if he stayed in the studio that night he just didn't want to go home yet. Not to an empty bed where he couldn't sleep, he couldn't sleep without you by his side which is why he had begged you to stay with him but you didn't.

"You told me you would never leave! You promised!" He yelled out as you stood across from him in the dorms, throwing your clothes into a bag as you tried to leave as quickly as possible. Tears welling up in your eyes as you tried not to look at him, looking at him you would see how much this was hurting him but this was a once in a lifetime opportunity and you couldn't give it up. It was your life's work and someone was finally taking you seriously, your dream was to be a writer and now that was finally able to come true he wasn't willing to let you go?

"I'll be back Channie, I need this." You breathed as you placed your bag over your shoulder, heading towards the exit when he took hold of your hand. The familiar spark you always felt jolted through your body only making you cry harder at the thought of leaving him. The two of you had spoken about it before, you'd managed a long-distance relationship when he was away on tour, it would be no different. You would be back sooner than he could think about it but he was set on never letting you leave.

"I'll be back...I need this, you know how much this means to me." You tried to let him know gently that this was your dream but he was blind to everything, all he could think about was the promises you had made that you were now breaking.

"You lied to me. You promised that you would never leave and now you're leaving." His voice cracked and you turned to look at him, tears rushing down your face as you reached your hand up to touch him. You hadn't seen Chan this upset since the survival show and it broke you to see him with his eyes so red and tears staining his cheeks.

"You said you would support my dreams." You reminded him but he stepped back from you, shaking his head as he let you walk out of the door, leaving everything behind without trying to fix it.

Chan never should have let you leave the way you did, it was one of the biggest mistakes in his life. He should have made up with you before you got on the plane and left the country to be far away from him, he didn't have to be as selfish as he was but he couldn't see a world without you in it and to this day he still couldn't. How could he ever forget the way you were, how could he not remember all of the little things you did that made him smile and even things that would annoy him but that he still loved about you? He always regretted never responding to the texts and calls you left him when you landed for your new job, he ignored you, ghosting you and telling the boys to do the same.

"Fuck," He mumbled as he looked down at the photo of you he had on his desk, he'd never moved it from the moment that he put it there. It was a photo of you and him together after the boy's first award win, you were holding onto him tightly as tears rushed down both of your faces. You had the photo framed so that you could prove to Chan every day how much you supported his dream and how much of an amazing achievement he had won in the past to keep him motivated but now? Now it felt like a person torture device sitting on his desk, painfully reminding him that although you had supported him he hadn't done the same for you.

Staggering into the dorms that night he stripped out of the drenching wet coat he was wearing and hung it up on the coat rack to dry for the next day. He scratched the back of his neck as he walked through the hallway and into the living room, glancing over at the sofa as he saw you sitting there. 

"I'm too tired," He mumbled as he began rubbing his eyes thinking that the image of you sitting there, in his shirt was just all in his head but as he glanced back over you were staring at him. Two cups of hot chocolate on the coffee table as you waited for him to come and sit down. 

"You wouldn't be so tired if you got some decent sleep," You quipped as you moved over on the sofa, Chan's mind raced as he stared at you. He must have fallen asleep in the studio it was the only explanation for you to be sitting there so calmly as if nothing had happened. 

"Channie, please...We need to talk." You whispered as you waited for him to go and sit beside you, he hesitantly walked over and took the drink from the table, sitting down expecting everything to fade away as he woke up. 

"The song." You whispered again placing your hand over his and that was when he knew it was real, that you were truly sitting across from him and touching him. That you were back. 

"The song," He repeated, placing his hand on top of yours as he waited for you to say something else but no words could express what you were feeling. You had been on the plane flying home to see him when the song dropped, making you rethink everything in your relationship if there was even one to go back to. 

"How did you know I was coming back?" He questioned as he looked at you and then to the time, it was almost 2 in the morning and he never would have expected to find you here. 

"I came as soon as I landed...Felix let me in and I slept in your bed for a while...Then I figured you'd probably come home at some ungodly hour like you used to," You laughed softly remembering all the times he would come home late like this, it never once bothered you because you knew how much he adored his word and you would always make sure he slept when he came in.

"But...Why are you back? I thought the job was what you wanted," It had been everything you wanted but it was awful, you were completely miserable the whole time because it wasn't as fun as they had made it out to be, promising you all these amazing opportunities only to make you an errand-runner. Not having Chan in your life made it all the worse, with Chan by your side you felt like anything was possible.

"I didn't want the job if it meant I never got to see you again...Plus...They kind of sucked, I became an errand-runner." You mumbled as you laid your head on his shoulder and just like that it was as if nothing had changed. The four months you spent apart never happened and Chan was just glad to have you back in his life and in his arms where he was never going to let you go without telling you how much he supported you. 

"We'll find you something good, something better...I will support you...I promise." He whispered as he laid a small kiss on your forehead, you hummed tiredly as you relaxed against him just happy to be back in his arms once again.

Tagline: @taestannie​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @sw33tnight​ @mwitsmejk​ @acciocriativity​ @minholuvs​ @anxiousbobatea​ @justbangtanthingz​

[h2ojustaddmako]

Headcanon: Dr. Denman Is A Psychopath

First, I have to say, I missed making these kind of posts. We’re back for a few more though, still have a lot to talk about. Like Dr. Denman being a total psychopath I know, I know - this sounds like a stretch. Big title to get attention. But hear me out...

First I’d like to establish who Linda Denman is - what we know about her, her life and her motives.

Linda Denman was born in the early 1980′s according to the H2O wiki, which puts her in her late 20′s - 26-27-28ish, around the time of her appearance on the show, which checks out. For a character who only featured in 3 episodes total, and was never spoken about outside of those episodes, there isn’t much to learn about her. But there is some key intel that we can pick up.

One of the most important things we can learn about her is something Lewis drops quite casually - she got her PhD at 21 years old(!). Marine biology studies take 3 years per diploma, and a PhD would take 9 years of college. That means she started her studies at 12 years old(!!), the latest. Figuring this, puts her into the category of a “child genius”, means she must’ve been a very gifted and smart child to get such opportunities thrown at her at such a young age. This makes her a fairly remarkable scientist. Ever since getting her degree in marine biology, she worked around the world, and ended up doing some field work in the Galapagos islands, including an award winning discovery regarding the cellular evolution of marine mammals, which made her a big name in the scientific community. We don’t know much about her upbringings, but given her accent, we can assume she was born and raised in Australia.

That alone might give us a big clue about what kind of childhood she had. Being an A+ student, had to spend a lot of time studying and staying on top of the game, maintaining her name and record, working thrice as hard on her academics as other kids her age. Add the fact that she must’ve not had a lot of people her age in university, and the very little free time she had, she must’ve had a very lonely childhood, and it’s safe to assume she must lack a lot of social skills, which is also heavily implied in her working alone (scientists rarely do research on their own, especially big projects like the one she takes).

So now that her upbringing’s out of the way, let’s analyse what we can from the episodes themselves. In her first episode, “The Denman Affair”, I’ll quickly skip ahead to the first time she sees Lewis’ DNA sample. While simply taking a look at what he was working on is perfectly understandable, the fact she manipulated him by “giving it back” while keeping a piece for herself, leaves the viewer uneasy. But this is not the juice. Later when Lewis questions her about whether or not she kept the specimen she doesn’t hesitate to admit she lied, and didn’t see anything wrong with it. But I do find things getting weirder. When Dr. Denman learns about how unique Lewis’ specimen is, she doesn’t hesitate before offering a 15 year old boy before inviting him to the Galapagos islands with her for 6 months, contacting his teachers for him, before even ASKING HIM if he’s interested, all because she wants to blackmail information from him. The lengths she’d go to feel a tad... unhealthy. But while her behaviour in this episode is surly questionable, it really becomes problematic in future episodes.

Jump a couple months into the future, Dr. Denman, who took up an offer for a six month study at the Galapagos returns to the Gold Coast after receiving funding from Harrison Bennett to perform an environmental impact study (following Rikki and Emma’s protest at the business lunch he held a few episodes earlier, I love it when it all comes together!) While at first she seems to be fully focused on the work she was hired to do, diving around Mako leads her back the an old question she had left unanswered, and her reintrest in Lewis’ sample returns. Now, as a person of science, and specifically marine biology myself, I 100% find her drive to learn, explore and discover more and more about this incredible finding she had very admirable. However, science should never come in place of human rights, and the moment she finds out about Cleo, Rikki and Emma, her real self starts to come through.

You see, holding teenage girls against their will in an underwater pool, threatening she’d hurt them if they won’t play along, kidnapping a teenage boy, stealing his phone and using it to manipulate and blackmail his friends, and more - all in the name of science is not a healthy was to handle said drive to learn, explore and discover. Even Harrison, who isn’t an angel himself, told her that he doesn’t want any a harm done to the girls, as he could sense she might be going to far. And he too finally understood that what she did wasn’t right and pulled off. Easily in a real world situation that woman would have to be arrested, but the mermaid secret doesn’t really leave room for telling the police. 

Her lying, manipulative nature, her drive for success and to getting what she wants no matter what human rights she takes, legal rules she crosses and people she hurts and harms is frightening. Her intense lack of empathy and using science as a justification to horrible acts against human rights (and underaged minors especially) are common traits with a lot of “evil geniuses” from history, a lot of people who did horrible things in the sake of science or discovery or a set of beliefs they wanna to prove. History is filled with truly mad scientists raging from the times of the black plague to WW2 who saw their crafts and beliefs as a means to go to the extreme. All those people had deep rooted psychological issues in common. I find that if Denman got what she wanted, if she had any power over the girls, they’d be in a much deeper issue moving forward. She is a criminal, she is psycho, and she is by far the most unsettling villain in the show’s history.

[loki-hargreeves]

Loki x Reader - Thanos controls You

Warnings: angst, mentions of torture, mind-control, fighting, choking, blood and gore, more angst (it's a lot ok)

Word Count: 5,8K

Summary: After failing to deliver the Tesseract, Loki has been living in fear that Thanos will one day find him again and seek revenge. You have been missing ever since Loki was imprisoned after what he did in New York. Little did Loki know that you were with Thanos all along. During the events of Infinity War, Thanos makes you battle Loki in order to obtain the Tesseract

Author’s Note: I know Thanos doesn’t have the mind stone at the beginning of Infinity War but it’s fiction and I’m gonna do what Marvel does best, ignore canon. Let’s blame the Other’s powers, okay? Please enjoy this angsty little thing! :)

YOUR POV

“There’s room for more!” Loki yelled over the cries of scared children and their crying families. There was no way he would send a half-empty escape pod on its way to Midgard. That’s when he saw a child all by herself a little further away. She was clinging onto the wall for dear life and the ship trembled due to the impact of getting shot at. Her parents were nowhere to be seen. Dead. Loki felt sick to his stomach when he knew they were most likely dead. Thanos’ children were slaying kids and their parents heartlessly and they had the audacity to say they were being rescued. That their deaths were part of something bigger than life itself.

They viewed Thanos as a god who was being merciful even when he ripped a beating heart out of someone's chest.

Loki’s heart clenched in his chest painfully. Before it would be too late, he made his way to the tiny child and picked her up carefully. She seemed to recognize the prince but she wasn’t afraid of him. Instead, she hugged Loki so she wouldn’t fall out of his grasp.

“Where’s mommy?” The girl sounded absolutely petrified.

Loki didn’t know what to say as he made his way to the pod. Once he reached it, he saw a woman by the entrance.

“You’ll be safe here,” Loki promised the child as he handed her over to the lady. That’s all he had time for as he returned to the corridor. A particularly loud blast made him stumble over his feet and he had to catch his balance by taking support from the metal wall. The lights flickered, which meant the electronics of the ship were injured. There was a strange smokey smell in the air, which lingered with the irony stench of blood.

Loki couldn’t believe this was happening. Had Thanos finally come for him? Or did Thanos somehow know of the tesseract? Either way, if Thanos succeeded, he would kill two birds with one stone. The thought of this being all his fault made Loki nauseous. Guilt was nibbling at his skin and he knew it would eat him alive in the end. He never wished for this to happen!

As he ran down the corridors frantically searching for Asgardians that needed help, he heard different kinds of cries. People were letting out guttural screams. Others were pleading for their lives. Listening to the massacre that was taking place was worse than any nightmare Loki ever recalled having. They were all drained after Ragnarok and now Thanos had found them. It was haunting how ruthless fate could be.

Footsteps began to approach Loki and they were awfully close. Too close for his liking. He was quick to grab his daggers and turn to face whoever dared try to sneak up on him. When he saw a familiar figure, he nearly dropped the blades from his hands. Seeing you there was like shock itself punched him in the face.

You were there, real and clear as day.

How long had it been since the last time he saw you?

Ever since Loki had found out about his true nature, his life had gone downhill. After he ended up with Thanos and went through pure hell with him, he had changed. During his time away from Asgard, he had only missed one person truly - you. You, who had been by his side through everything. You, who hadn’t loved him any less when you saw his deep blue skin and those crimson red eyes that in Loki’s mind resembled blood. You, who had seen him as the rightful king of Asgard when everyone else betrayed him. The light of his life, the angel that had cared for him even when he felt like a monster.

You, who hadn’t been on Asgard when Thor brought him back to face Odin in trial. Loki had spent a lot of time in his cell, alone. He waited for you to appear but you never did and no one ever told him why. They rather left him to drown in his own vicious thoughts. It wasn’t until Loki pretended to be Odin that he began to learn what had happened on Asgard during his exile.

The people at the palace loved to gossip. Some claimed you had stolen a ship and left Asgard behind for good, that living as Loki’s widow had been too hard for you. In Loki’s darkest hours, he wondered if you truly felt ashamed for being associated with him. So ashamed in fact, that you had left it all behind and started anew. Sometimes, he believed that, but it never stopped him from trying to find you. He had searched night and day but it seemed like you had vanished into thin air. It had killed him more every day living in the unknown. His only wish had been that you were okay.

Now there you were, looking like you had never left. In a moment of pure shock, Loki couldn’t even begin to comprehend how you appeared on the ship - seemingly out of nowhere. He was happy to see you, despite how appalling everything else was at that moment.

“Y/N,” Loki spoke your name softly and dared to blink. When you were still there as he opened his eyes, he felt goosebumps all over his skin.

You looked at him so innocently, but then he noticed that something was off. The look in your eyes was cold. You weren’t in your typical Asgardian gear. Instead, you were dressed in dark armour that Loki could’ve sworn he had seen before, but he didn’t know where. Nevertheless, it made him feel uneasy.

“It’s been a while, Loki,” You attempted a smile as you walked closer to him, your husband. It still counted since he had never truly died, right?

Loki didn’t stop you as you walked right up to him. His eyes never left yours. Part of him wanted to kiss you, to hold you and feel you were real, but the shrieks in the background reminded him of how dangerous everything was. The daggers disappeared from his hands and Loki held you by your shoulders. He needed to see that his hands wouldn't go right through you, that he hadn't lost it.

“You need to get off this ship, Y/N!” He told you seriously. There was profound fear in his voice.

Instead of being worried at all, you just smiled back at him.

That was so unlike you.

“Y/N, do you hear me?”

“Oh, I do,” You confirmed nonchalantly, “I’m not going anywhere. Not yet.”

A bloodcurdling cry startled Loki. They were coming closer and closer. The two of you wouldn’t be safe in that passageway for long. By now, his heart was racing with his thoughts. He felt panic settling into his bones.

Before Loki could say another word, you cupped his face rather gently. The fact that you didn’t seem disturbed by what was happening was eerie to Loki. He knew that you had a heart much bigger than anyone else he knew of. The version of you he remembered wouldn’t have been so calm. Something was terribly wrong.

“I need something,” You admitted and batted your eyelashes. Before, Loki would’ve found that quite adorable, but at that moment it was so wrong. He had been so ecstatic to see you and know you were alive, but now he almost wanted to run the other way.

“What?” Loki barely found his voice at that point. He felt sick and heartbroken. This had to be a nightmare, the worst kind.

“The Tesseract, Loki. I really need it,” You blurted it out.

Shivers ran down his spine. How did you know about it? Why did you even care? He was unsure if he could even trust you with the knowledge that he had it in his possession. Usually, he would’ve trusted you with his life without any hesitation, but you had been gone for years and returned like this, with bizarre motives.

You returned at the same time as Thanos and you were looking for the tesseract. Loki wasn’t a fool. He finally put two and two together and the realization was too arduous to believe. The idea of you and Thanos even meeting was something Loki could only see happening in his worst nightmares, but he was afraid it had already occurred. If so, he needed to hear it from you,

“Is Thanos making you do this?”

The tone of his voice seemed to offend you as you sent him a nasty glare. Your softness turned harsh and you pushed Loki against the metal wall with a loud thud. Before he could get out of the way, you grabbed your own dagger and pressed it against his neck so it was ever so slightly pressing against his exposed skin.

“He is not making me do anything. I am glad to serve the all-mighty Thanos. I won’t fail him, unlike you,” You snarled at Loki spitefully.

Never in a million years had Loki imagined this moment to happen. One where you would be fighting against each other. It was supposed to the two of you against the nine realms. Being held like that by the one person he loved more than anything was tearing his heart to shreds, but he tried not to show it.

Deep down, he knew it wasn’t truly you. He knew exactly what Thanos had done to you so you would act like this, and it only made it hurt so much more. It felt like someone was pouring salt into an open wound, and his entire body, heart and soul were wounded.

“Now give me the tesseract and we will be on our merry way,” You tried to obtain it again. This time you seemed more serious. Was it the tone of your voice or your weapon pressed against his pulse? Loki didn’t know.

“I don’t have it,” Loki lied as smoothly as he could because even thinking straight at that moment felt impossible. The world was caving in around him at supersonic speed.

You pressed the sharp edge of the blade closer to him, feeling how just a little bit more pressure would've broken his skin “You’re a great liar, my dear, but I know that’s not the truth.”

Loki didn’t want to fight you, but he didn’t see another way out. And it was good for him that you had learned most of the tricks from him. Your every move would be more easily predictable for Loki. He had to find a way to distract you.

“Why do you need it?” That was a foolish question. He knew damn well what Thanos would do if he got his dirty hands on the infinity stones.

“Why do you care?” You didn’t answer his silly question.

Suddenly, Loki grabbed your wrist tightly and yanked your arm to the side. He tried to be as gentle as he could, but Loki knew you wouldn’t go down without a fight.

At least your weapon fell out of your hand, but you knew how to defend yourself without it. So did Loki.

Loki tried to turn things around so he would have you pinned down against the wall, but you didn’t let him get that far. As he turned you around so your back was pressed firmly against his chest, you kicked your legs against the wall hard, pushing both of you back. Loki took the biggest impact as he fell on the floor, with you on top of him. Quickly, you rolled out of his grasp, turning around in one swift movement so that you were now sat on top of him, with your legs tightly against both his sides.

A powerful orb of magic grew above your fingertips and you brought it closer to Loki’s face - so close that he could feel the heat of your burning powers. The magic created an electric sensation on your skin. It felt like you pushed your fingers deep into warm sand. Toying with it was exhilarating, and seeing the astonished look on Loki’s face made it so much better. The green light of your powers cast light in his eyes, only deepening the look of disbelief that was painted all over him.

“It’s sweet that you’re trying not to hurt me,” You taunted him at that point, “but that doesn’t mean I won’t hurt you.”

“This isn’t you, Y/N,” Loki groaned. He was so sure of himself.

You tilted your head and smirked, looking at him like a cat would at a mouse. “I don’t know, Loki. It’s been a while,” You explained casually and leaned closer and closer to his face, stopping when your noses brushed against one another. By now, Loki was frozen on the spot. He was trying to come up with a plan and he felt hopeless.

“I’ve changed,” You whispered to him and felt tempted to kiss him, to taste him. Would you taste his fear? His heartbreak? You were sure it would taste sweet.

“The torture must’ve been painful,” Loki pushed his feelings aside. Yes, he felt like his heart had been ripped to shreds, but he had to do something. He had to surprise you, even if it would hurt. Words could hurt more than actions, and if Loki wanted to survive and to help you, he needed to reach the real you even if the only way to do so was cruel.

How did he know? You narrowed your eyes and surprisingly, found yourself waiting for him to continue.

"I was trained well."

"Trained?" Loki spat out harshly, "I know you're afraid. He has promised you something worse than the pain he has inflicted on you already. It won't happen. If you let Thanos continue his reign, he will not care about your loyalty!"

"Shut up!" That was too much for you. With tears brimming your eyes from anger, you put your hand over his mouth to silence him. He didn't budge and you didn't know why.

You pushed the memories aside. The painful memories of the time Thanos first found you. It was wrong to think of it as torture. No, he had shown you what you're truly capable of. It was training. Training to become a stronger person after the hell you endured on Asgard.

But now that you found yourself thinking about it, it seemed like the memories were all blurred as if you were looking into the past through a broken lens. Someone had spilt oil all over it and the pictures were warped.

"I know you have it," You needed the tesseract. "Give it to me and then this will all be over," you removed your hand from his mouth because it looked like he wanted to speak.

Loki knew that if he’d push you, your magic could burn him, but at the moment he couldn’t come up with another plan. He couldn’t just stay on the ground as people were being killed on the other side of the wall!

"Okay," Loki blurted out. Okay?

For a moment, he had you surprised which was the perfect distraction.

Loki grabbed your wrists tightly and pushed you to the side, but not quickly enough. You released your magic and it graced the side of his face, making him growl out either in pain or frustration - or both. The two of you rolled over and this time Loki was on top, holding your arms pinned above your head. You were trapped because of one mistake. You couldn't believe Loki had used the element of surprise to turn the situation upside down.

Furiously, you tried to kick your legs free, but he had you pinned down beneath him and Loki was strong. There was no point in squirming, you had to come up with another idea.

The two of you faced each other and Loki revealed his face and the damage you had done. Your magic had burned his skin and left a bloody cut on his eyebrow. It had just barely missed his eye. If he lived, it would surely leave a scar.

You flinched when a drop of his blood hit your cheek and it rolled down the side of your face.

"What are you going to do, kill me?"

Loki could never bring himself to kill you. He wouldn't be able to live with himself with your blood on his hands. No. He had other ideas. Loki remembered what it was like to be under Thanos' control. He remembered how much it hurt to even think about the torture. He had to remind you, he had to make you see that this wasn't the real you.

"This version of you, or I certainly hope so," Loki replied mysteriously. Before you could ask him to elaborate, Loki released your wrist and slammed the palm of his hand against your forehead. In a split second, you were in a different place - in your head. You could've sworn you heard him mutter "I'm sorry," before everything turned black.

It was hot, burning hot. Metal chains were attached to you and they were glowing red. Torching. You could only scream in pain as the metal sunk into your skin, your bones, your nerves. It felt like he had chained your mind and with the tiniest movement of his finger, he could make you do his dirty work.

He, Thanos, was sitting on his throne. He was the puppet master and you the puppet. He didn't look at you fondly. No. He was smiling as he watched you cry your lungs out, letting out animalistic growls as the pain got worse. It was so overwhelming that every once in a while, you would scream until you passed out. But every time, one of his children would be there to wake you up.

It was time for another round. And another. And yet another. Would it ever end?

Each time you tried to resist the chains, the strings that were sewn onto you and connected to his fingertips, it hurt more. Eventually, you learned that allowing the strings to tighten around you made it hurt less. It almost felt good, like a long embrace after a long day.

"I don't want to hurt you, my child."

Lies. You knew that all he said were nasty lies, but sometimes it was easier to believe lies than the truth.

"Make it stop!" You would beg him. How long had you been there?

You could remember Thanos touching your face gently, which was so comforting after everything you had endured. At the same time, it made you sick. You couldn't believe that the one who had caused you distress could have such a gentle touch.

"You're ready," Thanos had realized. The Other had appeared right before you and his fingertips were pressed against one another, making him look like he was deep in thought. You had no idea what they were doing, but the next thing you knew was that you no longer felt pain.

The chains, the strings, they were all invisible. It looked like you were free, but the weight of the metal was still pressed against your skin. Had you imagined it?

No,

Deep down you knew that the strings were still attached to you, but they had only made it seem like you had a choice.

"Excellent," The Other's voice surprised you. You merely blinked and you had returned to the vessel. Loki was above you and the Other was standing right there, "You found him."

The Other used his powers to push Loki off you. Shock had made your entire body numb and you couldn't scramble up to your feet. It felt like your limbs had been turned to stone and you were anchored to the floor.

Loki got up slowly with his arms raised in surrender. He was well aware of the powers the Other had and Loki wasn't going to fight him now. If he followed you for long enough, then maybe just maybe he could come up with a plan. Loki looked at you as you finally got up. As you stood next to the Other, you couldn't believe your legs carried you. Something was so wrong. You felt sick and you couldn't shake it off. It felt like something had snapped within you, but you didn't know what.

"He is waiting for you," The Other explained as he turned to walk away, most likely to wherever Thanos was waiting.

Loki had no choice but to follow, and you walked behind, making sure he didn't try to escape.

Why did Loki make you remember that? What did he think he would obtain with making you relive something so awful? It hadn't worked, right?

There he was. Thanos was standing by a hole that had been ripped into the side of the ship. Magic was keeping it sealed so the vacuum of space wouldn't suck everyone into it. But still, the emptiness of space wasn't frightening at all compared to the titan who was standing right there.

Loki swallowed thickly as he saw him again. It had been years but he remembered everything like it had happened yesterday. Seeing Thanos standing in the middle of the piles of bodies, in the room that smelled like smoke and blood, was sickening. Thanos hadn't just killed a part of Loki. He had just slaughtered these innocent Asgardians with the help of his so-called children. He had taken you.

He will make you long for something as sweet as pain

Loki closed his eyes and took a deep, shaky breath. They had stayed true to their threats.

"I know what it’s like to lose," Thanos turned around now that he knew Loki was there. At long last. Thanos had not forgotten what Loki had failed to do, and Thanos was a man of his words.

"To feel so desperately that you’re right yet to fail, nonetheless," Thanos continued dramatically and slowly made his way closer to Loki. He saw Thor on the ground, bloodied and weak. The brother of Loki. As tempting as the idea was to torture Thor right in front of the god of mischief, Thanos had different plans. If there was only one way Loki would ever give him the tesseract, it was going to be in order to save you. You were Loki's true weakness.

"It’s frightening. Turns the legs to jelly. I ask you, to what end?" Thanos looked Loki right in the eye. He could see that Loki was afraid, yet Loki never looked away from him. He was either too proud or fearless. Thanos had liked that about Loki initially. But he had failed Thanos greatly. It had cost him infinity stones.

"Dread it. Run from it. Destiny arrives all the same. And now, it’s here. Or should I say I am," Thanos finished his dramatics because it was time for action, to turn the wheels and see the bigger picture. This was the end of an era and a new beginning for a different universe. In Thanos' mind, only he could bring balance and order. He gestured for you to walk up to his side.

Too afraid of the idea of what would happen if you disobeyed, you walked right up to Thanos, feeling like a fly that was willingly flying into cobwebs. When you were close enough, you kneeled and dipped your head so he wouldn't see the worry in your eyes. It wasn't there before.

"I didn't obtain the tesseract from him, but I am sure that he has it, father," You muttered quietly. Why did you say that? There was a pounding headache growing within your skull. You didn't know what was right or wrong anymore and you couldn't fight it either.

Father

Loki clenched his jaw as he followed the situation closely. Hearing that made his blood boil. He wanted to rip Thanos apart after this. Never in a million years had he imagined this, to see you pledge your alliance to Thanos, kneeling before him and respecting him. Thanos didn't deserve that. Hell, Thanos didn't even deserve to look at you. It was wrong.

At that moment, Loki worried that his trick hadn't worked. That the memories hadn't awakened anything within you. That it was all too late now. This was the end, the one thing in life that was inevitable.

"I know, my child," Thanos let out a sigh. Then he grabbed you by your jaw like he had done before, forcing you to face him. "I know he has it," He repeated and suddenly his touch turned violent. He closed his hand around your neck tightly and you gasped for air helplessly. Your hands - tiny compared to his - grabbed his fingers and you tried to pry them apart, but he was tougher than you. Panic shot through your entire body when you realized you couldn't breathe. It turned your blood to ice and your poor heart was beating so hard you were afraid it would explode.

What was he doing?

The moment he pulled you to your feet, so high that you had to stand on the tips of your toes, he spoke, "The tesseract or her life," Thanos smiled devilishly, showing no remorse. He didn't care about you. You were a pawn in his game and if you would die at his feet, he would just walk over you and carry on.

"You choose," Thanos put the weight of the world on Loki's shoulders.

Loki wanted to rescue you from that monster, but he wasn't stupid. With all of Thanos' children surrounding him, he knew that he would be dead before he could reach you. Nonetheless, it didn't mean he wouldn't try. Seeing you clawing at Thanos' hand, fighting for something as simple as air and not getting it was heartbreaking. Loki's body was trembling with hatred and hurt. Tears blurred his vision and he struggled to keep his composure.

How had it all come to this?

The thought of Thanos with the tesseract was haunting. Soon he would have all the stones and he would destroy reality as they knew it. But Loki could live with that. He couldn't live knowing you had died when he had a chance to save you. Perhaps he was selfish for choosing you over the entire galaxy, but Loki didn't care. Nothing mattered if he would lose you again.

"Alright, stop!" Loki made up his mind. "I choose her," Finally, Thanos released his grip on you and let you fall on the cold ground. Your hands wrapped around your throat gently and you coughed painfully. It took you a while to finally breathe again, which was a huge relief for both Loki and you.

And now Loki was holding the tesseract. It was so bright that it painted the space blue. It was almost too bright to look at. The power within the stone was so strong, you could sense it like heat from the sun in spring after a long and cold winter. Loki was tempted to use the tesseract to grab you and escape, but he quickly shut those thoughts away. Thanos would follow him for the end of all days.

"You...you really are the worst, brother," Thor was following the situation to the best of his abilities. He spat out blood as he watched Loki holding the cube. It made him sad. Everything they ever knew was destroyed in the name of power, pure and raw power that the tesseract could offer. Was it worth it?

Loki glanced at Thor who was too weak to even get up. He didn't care too much about what he had to say. Then he looked at you. There you were, on the ground struggling to breathe after Thanos had crushed your windpipe. There was bruising on your skin that would only deepen with time. Time that you possibly wouldn't have after this.

He saw the tears running down your face, but you didn't sob and whimper. It seemed like you were as still as stone. You couldn't bring yourself to face Loki.

"I assure you," Loki found his voice and he addressed both you and Thor with his words, "the sun will shine on us again."

What did he mean by that?

You were ashamed to tilt your gaze to see him, to see the tesseract. The damn infinity stone had ruined it all! It was why Thanos had wrecked Loki, why he had destroyed you too. Why so many people were now dead. If you had one wish that could come true, you would wish for the tesseract to be destroyed forever.

Thanos had his back turned to you. Loki was slowly but surely making his way closer to the titan, almost like he was afraid to move but he forced his body to comply. Why? Why would he trade the tesseract for your life? It seemed like whatever spell you had been under had worn off. You were free, but it was more terrifying than being under Thanos' control under these circumstances. He didn't need you, and soon enough the vessel would be blown to bits. All of you, even Loki.

Would you be able to tell him how sorry you were?

"Your optimism is misplaced, Asgardian," Thanos wasn't fond of Loki's strange choice of words.

"Well for one thing I'm not Asgardian," Loki replied quickly. It sounded a little bit witty, which was confusing. Where did the boost of confidence come from? Was he up to something?

"And for another," He continued dramatically. This time it was Thanos' turn to be confused.

"We have a Hulk."

Everything that happened after that happened so fast that you could hardly keep up with it. Loki dropped the tesseract and he leapt toward you. Thanos barely had time to turn around when a huge, green beast appeared out of nowhere and it seemed angry. It was eager to fight the titan.

Loki had you up on your feet in no time and the two of you ran away from the immediate danger. He led you to one of the many corridors on the vessel until no one could possibly see you. They were too distracted by the Hulk to even think about Loki and you. It wasn't until he was right in front of you that you could comprehend what was going on. He was kneeling on the floor and you were sat against the wall for support. Your hands were trembling so hard, it seemed like you were freezing up and you couldn't make it stop.

Loki had tricked Thanos.

He was relieved when you didn't fight him, yet he was unsure if it meant you were no longer under Thanos' control, or if you were simply too tired to fight.

He cupped your face gently and searched for answers in your expression. Back in the day, he had been able to read you like an open book.

You put your hands around his wrists and pulled him closer. You were desperate for the comfort he could bring in the midst of the living hell you were stuck in. How did he not hate you?

"I'm s- I'm sorry," You whimpered, finally cracking like a plate that had fallen on the floor. "I'm sorry."

"Shh, it's okay," Loki couldn't possibly let you apologize for what had happened. He was possibly the one person who understood exactly what you had gone through and what it was like to follow orders from that monster. There was not an ounce of judgement to be found in his heart.

What mattered now was that you were together again. You could come up with a plan, but you had to work fast. As much as Loki wanted to hold you and comfort you, to feel that you were real, he knew there wasn't enough time for that.

"We need to get off this thing," Loki's mind was running a marathon as he tried to come up with an escape plan.

"They're gonna blow it up," You explained, feeling how bad your lips were quivering as you spoke. The moment Thanos had what he came for, they would leave and destroy everything they'd leave behind.

Shivers ran down Loki's spine as he heard that. It only confirmed that you had to act quickly. Loki wasn't sure how long the Hulk could fight Thanos. Would they be able to rescue Thor? How much time did they have?

The blood in the wound you had caused on his face was beginning to dry. It looked gnarly and all you wanted was to make it all better. Knowing that you had hurt him made you sick with guilt.

"I'm sorry, Loki. I didn't w-want to fight you," You sniffled, breaking Loki's train of thought. For the first time, he felt lost. He didn't really know what to do. Were there any escape pods left?

"I know," Loki assured you. "I know that. I was in your shoes when I was on Midgard," He explained briefly, unaware whether or not you knew of it. Had Thanos talked about him to you?

A sense of impending doom weighed you two down. If this was the end, then at least you were together, right? You and Loki against the nine realms, you would face the end together if there wasn't another way out. Whenever you had pictured your final day, you had imagined something entirely different than this. You would be old together, with hundreds of stories of your shared life. You would be surrounded by people you cared about. It would be calm, the exact opposite of this.

"I love you," You needed to tell him that. Any moment could be your last. The world would cave in and you would be gone forever.

Loki hated how much that sounded like a farewell, but at the same time, it had been so long since he had last heard those three words, let alone from you. Perhaps it was sick and twisted, but it made him smile.

"I love you too," Loki was sure of it. He had never stopped loving you and he didn't think he was even capable of that.

It seemed like you acted on instinct. You found enough strength to push yourself right against Loki. There was no hesitation in your actions as you kissed him. Loki closed his eyes when he felt your trembling lips pressed against his. Your scent, still sweet and familiar despite it all, punched its way into his lungs. He held your face gently but the kiss was passionate, almost despairing.

You wanted to scream out in agony because at last, you were reunited with Loki but not in the way you imagined. You felt like the shell of the person you were before, and now you knew for a fact that Thanos had done the exact same things to Loki. That titan had killed your souls beyond repair. But all you could do was kiss Loki and hold him and hope that he could feel how sorry you were. You didn't want to let go, afraid that if you did, it would all end. Just like that.

Loki broke the kiss, and for a moment you rested your foreheads against one another like you had done so many times before. It was comforting. You both wanted to stay close like that, but you recognised that you couldn't. Letting go of each other and getting up on your weary feet was so incredibly difficult, but it had to be done.

The world around you began to glow brighter. You quickly held onto Loki, startled as the mysterious light surrounded the two of you.

Loki held his breath as he studied the warm glimmering magic that had swallowed you. In between the bright rays of light, he saw all the colours of the rainbow. Shimmering. He saw reds and blues, yellows and greens, shining brighter than the other and it changed smoothly.

The Bifrost

He didn't know how or why, but he knew for a fact that you were in the magical portal. He couldn't see beyond it anymore. He couldn't feel the floor beneath his feet. It was like he was levitating mid-air, with you tightly in his arms.

Heimdall must've conjured the forefathers, letting their powers flow through him one last time. Where to? Loki assumed that anywhere would be better than where they had been mere seconds ago.

And it was a miracle.

A/N: I think it would've made more sense for Heimdall to send Thor or Loki to earth rather than the Hulk. So that's why I ended it like that

I'd absolutely love to hear your feedback! <3

TAGS:

Loki: @yuna-belikova @ornella0910 @castiels-majestic-wings @lucywrites02 @myraiswack @prettysbliss @weirdfangirl2416

Forever Taglist: @iraniq  @embrycallsgirl  @blackroseyaz @badass-psycho @r-alexandra01 @p3aches13 @your-pixels-are-showing @disasterren @iamsuperjenna @yuna-belikova @ornella0910 @optimisticpeacecollector5 @thehumanistsdiary @your-pixels-are-showing @klanceiscannon14 @i-have-arrived-bitch

[gaiuskamilah]

i mean im pretty sure he does say in the latest chapter that he very much had the motive to and wanted power. like i get what you're saying but and he says he was still influenced by the shadow court but he does say that the seeds of that influence were already present within himself.

aerin's story is so obviously one of being isolated from others and that feeling of isolation and suppression being exploited by a person with more power over him. in a sense he's much like nia - someone who was indoctrinated into a cult and groomed by the people in power for their own interests. the difference is that nia was exposed to people outside that the temple who actually cared for her and loved her. aerin didn't have that, and in the latest chapter he says that the party was the first to not make him feel alone on his feelings regarding baldur, feelings which were exploited by the dreadlord.

forcing it into a dichotomy of "he 100% chose to do it" vs "he is absolved of everything because he was forced by someone else" is depleting it of all the nuance and meat the story is giving, because it's more of a mix of both. additionally, we've already seen characters like him before - his situation is literally like adrian and kamilah's after they go against gaius. over and over again they say that yes, gaius influenced them, but they also chose to do what they did. people just like to paint them as angels because they aren't initially postured as villains in BB, they immediately started as LIs. it's a complicated situation, and that's what makes it human.

"It could very well just be a strange bedfellows/uneasy alliance situation which could work incredibly" - this is already happening. it's already an uneasy alliance. mal, tyril, imtura, and even mc can be actively hostile towards him and on multiple times mal, tyril, and imtura threaten to kill him to his face.

i think the final point i want to make is if we meet everything with this outlook, what does it say about how we should meet cult survivors, or people who genuinely want to better themselves? sure making him just evil is interesting but imo turning his story into one that mirrors the real life experience of victims of cult indoctrination/grooming makes him more compelling and human and fits better with the themes of blades.

They’re really gonna try and do a redemption arc for Aerin aren’t they?

[ddarker-dreams]

Comfortably Numb. Yan Chrollo x Reader [COMM]

warnings: mentions of anxiety, just general uneasiness. word count: 2.6k.

Home is where the heart is. 

It’s meant to be the sanctuary where you can unwind after a long day of work, dress in your most comfortable pajamas, and feel no qualms for the opinions of others. A safe haven of your own making. Granted, there was a time that you felt this way, no matter how long ago it seems. A coveted period of your life that you wish you could return back to. On a surface level, any onlooker might take a glance at you and think you are as normal as they are. If only that were the truth, you bitterly lament. 

Now, what do you need to check on next? Milk is in good supply, not set to expire anytime soon. Hm… can’t say the same for the fruit. You jostle down some of your favorites onto the ever growing grocery list. What else is there? You’ve got to be missing something. Standing on your tiptoes, you open the overheard cabinet, that is now noticeably more barren than it used to be. The bags of tea that had once populated this area have vanished, all but a lonesome pack of matcha. Huffing, you close the cabinet doors, ready to voice your irritation.

Pivoting on your heel, you look over the kitchen counter and towards the occupied living room. “You drank all my tea?” 

“Not at all of it,” your unwelcome guest corrects, much to your displeasure. “Besides, you never said I couldn’t have any.” 

You raise an eyebrow at this conjecture. Who would’ve thought him a stickler for semantics. “Yeah, well, I never said you could have it either.” 

“That’s a fair enough point. I’ll be sure to reimburse you for it later.” Chrollo ends the conversation before it even begins. His attention returns to his original activity of reading, freely helping himself to yet another one of your belongings. An exhausted sigh leaves your lips at the sight. If you somehow make it out of this situation unscathed, you may take on a more pious lifestyle, having survived way more than you should’ve. It’s a wonder that Chrollo hasn’t seen fit to strike you down where you stand. Where you lack self-restraint in the verbal department, you make up for it in your overall composure. Surely anyone else would’ve been crushed under the immense pressure of having a murderer crashing at their apartment. 

That’s just about the best way to describe it, you think. How desensitized do you have to be to no longer shiver at the thought? In all fairness, Chrollo himself is treating this as the most ordinary arrangement in the world. At his own leisure he’ll start conversations with you, inquire about your day, and even offer insight that you never asked for. It’s gotten to the unfortunate point that you’re even starting to do the same. Treating him more as a peculiar roommate than the threat he truly is, though it could be your way of coping. That’s the explanation you’re going with.

Chrollo puts a bookmark into his read, and places it aside. “Is there anything you’d like for dinner?”

He asks the question as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. Your normally schooled expression is broken, lips parting and eyebrows furrowing together. Is he being serious right now? There’s no way to tell for certain. Not on a lack of trying from your behalf, his countenance never hints at his innermost thoughts. You get the feeling what little Chrollo does reveal to you is intentional. How creepy. 

“I was just planning on warming up leftovers,” you accentuate this by opening your fridge. On the shelves sits lentil soup, apples, and some protein yogurts. Shit. “Scratch that. I’ll be settling for yogurt instead.” 

“You had that for breakfast, if memory serves.” Chrollo points out, as if you’re incapable of remembering that yourself. It’s odd that he feels the need to pay attention to every detail about you. How often is Chrollo observing you without you taking notice? You push the thought aside with a frown.

“What are you, my hostage-taker and nutritionist? Besides, this is what I like to call a struggle meal. Or, meals, technically. I’ll go shopping tomorrow to make up for it.” You grimace while picking up the gourmet cuisine for tonight. Strawberry cheesecake flavor. It’s better with stuff added to it for texture, but this’ll have to do. It’s doubtful someone who is hiding a stolen merchandise worth hundreds of thousands can empathize with your position. Not that it matters if Chrollo Lucilfer holds you in high regard, with all the blood on his hands. He’s got no room to judge.

“Hm, in the time we’ve spent together, I never considered you as dense,” he gets up from his seat, making his way towards the kitchen. You don’t get a word in edgewise before your dinner is plucked from your hands. Chrollo places it back in the fridge, while you stare at him with a slackened jaw. “I’m offering to buy you food, [First].” 

How considerate of him to spell it out for you. 

“Appreciative as I am for your gesture of goodwill, I’ll pass. I don’t want to be indebted to you.” You make for the fridge once again, scowling as he holds it shut with unnatural force. Damn, he’s strong. Maybe you’re playing with fire by provoking him, considering the power imbalance, but your tongue is faster than your brain. Both a blessing and a curse. Leaning more towards the latter, you muse.

“I insist. It’s only right that I repay you somehow, for allowing me to stay here. You wouldn’t be indebted to me.” Chrollo’s smile never reaches his eyes, you notice. Standing here in close proximity to him, there’s a lot more you can pick up on. Every little detail of his disposition is intentional. From his even keel tone, to his polite speech, and way of acting like you have any say in the matter. You’re all bark and no bite. Both of you are keenly aware of this, and still he talks to you as if he’s none the wiser. It’s demeaning in its own right. 

“I guess it is sacrilegious to turn down free food. Alright, you win.” You throw your hands up in mock defense. This uncomfortable interaction helped you remember the position you’re in, how every breath might be your last. He’s broken into your residence, forced you to hide him from encroaching hunters, and made your past ten days a living hell. It was the threats to your loved ones that ultimately earned your compliance. 

You can’t help the self deprecation that’s followed since that day. The law is what you’re supposed to be protecting, not protecting criminals from. Going to the station everyday with the knowledge that you’re harboring such a dangerous criminal is weighing heavily on your soul. Life sure is full of the worst ironies. Had it not been an A class bounty, you may have stood a chance. 

Chrollo reaches into the pocket of his jacket, pulling out one of his many burner phones. “You’re being more agreeable than I expected, if I’m being honest.”

“What can I say? I become a bit of a yes man when my life is being threatened.” You respond with an empty smile of your own. Instead of earning any ire from him, he lets out an airy chuckle, of dubious sincerity. Whether it’s at you or with you is difficult to decipher. He pulls up a food delivery app, showing you the options. This was all prepared in advance, he must’ve taken the time to download it. So it wasn’t a spur of the moment decision to mess with you? 

“Y-you’re really letting me pick?” There’s no hiding your incredulous tone of voice. This series of events is far too bizarre to fathom, like a nightmare stepping into reality. Just a week ago you were contemplating how to poison Chrollo without him taking notice. Now you’re ordering food together. There has to be an ulterior motive lurking around, your gut won’t tell you otherwise.

He tilts his head at your apprehension, and repeats himself. “That’s what I said, yes.” 

Fuck it. When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade, or so the saying goes. You’ve suffered enough at Chrollo’s hands, it wouldn’t hurt to make the most of it. You take the cheap phone from his hands, scrolling through the options, and realizing now just how wonderful the variety of food sounds. Working up an appetite hasn’t come naturally with your uninvited guest skulking about. He has enough prepaid visa cards to cover what you want, so you hold nothing back. 

After returning his phone to him, you can’t help but throw an additional sarcastic comment in. It’s second nature at this point. “Happy now?” 

“Very much so,” Chrollo doesn’t mention your indignation, eyes raking over your expansive order. It’s not until he gets to the end that he quirks an eyebrow. “... A one hundred dollar tip?” 

“Feel free to add some extra zeros to the end of that. It’s not binary code for ‘help me, there’s a criminal in my apartment’, if you’re worried about that.”

He hums in consideration. “I can’t say that came to mind.” 

“Shit, looks like I went ahead and busted my own master plan.” Your response is notably dry. A headache is already in the works, courtesy of speaking to Chrollo for too long. He never fails to keep you on your toes. For all the sardonic remarks you make at his expense, anxiety has never stopped plaguing you. It’s a miracle that your heart is still functioning properly. You don’t even know why you ordered the absurd amount that you did, other than from pure spite, since your stomach is churning too much to want to eat. Maybe that’ll change when the food shows up. If not, your co-workers are going to be in for quite a treat tomorrow. 

You return to your newfound favorite activity of ignoring Chrollo, busying yourself with anything that comes in sight. Watering your plants, putting mugs from the dishwasher away, menial stuff that keeps you busy. A new feat lies in your wake. Whoever designed this apartment didn’t do so with you in mind, your larger plates just barely out of reach. Not willing to concede to using a chair just yet, you keep up the gallant attempt, stretching as far as your body allows. Your fingertips graze just over the prized handle, only for you to fail again.

That’s when you feel an over looming presence behind you, a shadow encompassing your figure. Chrollo gets the plate you were reaching for with ease, his chest brushing over your back in the process. You feel your face flushing, your body going taut, standing still as a wooden plank. He sets it down beside you with a knowing smile. That bastard…! He’s doing this on purpose. Damn him. 

“It looked like you could use some help.” He tells you. It takes every ounce of your self restraint not to lunge at him, instead taking a deep breath and nodding your head. Why is he so intent on getting a reaction from you? It’s exasperating, serving no practical purpose other than his own amusement. Inundated with your thoughts, you don’t realize how sour a look you’re sporting. This is what he wants, you remind yourself. To get you riled up. You refuse to play into his hands, and manage to get a grip. 

Time passes by at a lethargic pace. After around forty minutes, your front door rings, and you pick up the order. Sitting at your counter, you help yourself to the meal, grateful that Chrollo has seen fit to leave you alone. There can never be anything good in this world, as he eventually joins you. You try not facing him as an act of defiance. The plan that seemed ingenious in theory has a rockier execution. Sitting in silence feels worse somehow, like a ticking time bomb. Shifting in your seat, you decide to strike up a half baked conversation.

“So, uh, about the whole being hunted down thing,” your voice wavers and you hate yourself for it, “Do you have an idea of when it’s going to be over? I’m starting to run out of excuses for why my friends can’t come over.” 

This is true. There have been no more lively gatherings at your apartment since Chrollo’s unwelcome appearance, and you’ve been pestered about it. In between the lines is the prospect of your friends finding this reclusive behavior suspicious. In your optimism, you hope he takes it as a hint to get out of here faster.

Chrollo takes on a pensive appearance, his chin resting on his hand. “I’d been meaning to talk to you about that, so I’m glad you brought it up.” 

How nice it is to be on the same page. This could be the light at the end of the tunnel, the last page in this awful chapter of your life. Ten days seems like a reasonable amount of time to lay low. Maybe he’s already packing his bags, planning to leave you far behind, so you can forget any of this ever happened. Maybe you’ll treat yourself to a vacation. From the gut wrenching anxiety Chrollo has inflicted on you, you feel deserving of one. 

“They’ve stopped searching for me a while ago.” 

Wait, what?

You look at him, silverware dropping from your lax hand. He’s never been into joking around. Does that mean he’s being serious with you? That all this time, you’ve been holding out for something that already happened? Fists balling by your side, you don’t bother hiding a sharp glare directed towards him. There’s no playfully wry response, no comeback, only disbelief and abhorrence. The bountiful meal in front of you is forgotten. 

There’s no point in asking, but you still do, voice low. “... How long?” 

“According to my sources, about a week.” comes Chrollo’s response, hammering the final nail in the coffin of your patience. His motivations have never been any less clear. You know you shouldn’t have taken the word of someone like him seriously -- you’re so painfully aware of this that it hurts -- but now leaves a final question. Why? What does he get out of this? You feel sick to your stomach, knowing that it’s going to bad no matter what. Your breathing has picked up, eyes dilating and body threatening to crumble under the tension. Everything feels out of place. 

He responds as if he was reading your thoughts. “You’re an interesting person, [First]. You never cried, pleaded, or anything of the like. Instead you accepted the situation for what it was, all while staying true to your values. I find that admirable. I’d like to learn more from you.”  

“Stop talking to me like I’m a -- a fucking -- science experiment, instead of a human being. How does any of that shit even matter?” You feel the blood draining from your face, every word coming out more forced than the last. Getting riled up here is the last thing you should be doing, but you can’t control yourself. All your negative emotions from your time with him are regurgitating into a final mess.

“I don’t know, truth be told.” Chrollo checks the watch on his wrist, and you gulp at the smile that forms on his lips. It feels like a sentencing, a foreboding omen. There’s bile rising in your throat, and you scramble away from your chair. You need to get out of here. You need to run, to scream for help, to alert your family, this is not going to end well, what is he planning-- 

There’s a hurried knock at your door.

“However, what I do know is that I have no intention of leaving this place without you by my side.” 

[floating-mid-air]

The Princess of All Saiyans

-

Masterlist

-

Chapter 10 is finally here. Something I noticed while working on this chapter is when I'm writing as the narrator. I use Goku and Kakarot interchangeably. I looked back into the other chapters and noticed I've been doing that the entire time. I honestly just write whichever name feels natural in the context. I think I'll continue writing like that. I think it's more fun switching up Goku's name every once in a while. As always, if you have any comments or questions, feel free to let me know.

-

Chapter 10

-

You and Goku sit on opposite ends of the ditch. The choice to sit as far away from him as possible was strictly for your own sanity. You can feel his scolding gaze on you, burning holes through the entirety of your body, making your skin crawl. 

You've been desperately attempting to evade eye contact with the defective Saiyan, which is becoming significantly more strenuous with each second that passes. Goku lets out an exaggerated sigh. "Can we at least sit closer together?"

You turn your head at him, narrowing your eyes. "No, Kakarot."

Goku presses his thumb and index finger together, leaving a tiny hole. He brings the flexed hand up to his eye, looking at you through the minuscule opening. "What about this much closer?"

"No." Your gaze remains locked on him, with a deadpan look on your face.

"But why not?" He wines as you begin to massage your temples. If he keeps this up, the two of you won't survive down here together for much longer. You're ninety-nine percent sure that being stuck with Kakarot will somehow be the greatest adversity of your life. Okay, so maybe you're being just a tad bit overdramatic. 

"Because I don't trust myself not to kill you." You snarl at him. Your composure is dangling by a thin thread, and Goku is an extremely sharp pair of scissors.

Your words seem to have shut Goku up, well, at least for a little while. "Hey Y/N?"

You ball your hands into fists, clenching your jaw as your right eye begins to spasm. You're developing an eye twitch. How lovely. "What is it now, Kakarot?"

"How did you do that thing with your eyes?"

You furrow your brows at the younger Saiyan. "What the hell are you talking about?" You're really starting to get fed up with him, and you've only been trapped down here for around fifteen minutes.

"Your eyes turned red when you were fighting that guy." Your eyes widen before you quickly cover up your shock with a scowl. Fuck. You knew you should've kept your temper under control. How could you have been so stupid?

Lucky for you, Kakarot is a moron. He lacks understanding regarding body language and various emotion cues. It shouldn't be difficult for you to get out of this at all. "Your eyes were just playing tricks on you. Your vision was probably strained from traveling for such an extended amount of time. My eyes did not, nor have they ever changed color."

"But, I saw---" 

"Well, you saw wrong!" You take several deep breaths, attempting to regain your composure. Spoiler alert, it doesn't work. "I can't take this anymore!" You've finally snapped, but to be fair. You lasted much longer than you expected. "Stop asking me a million questions! No, you know what. Stop speaking to me in general! You are the most infuriating---"

Amidst your screaming, Goku jumps up, pulling you into a far corner of the trench. One of his hands is placed over your lips. And his other arm is tightly wrapped around your waist, his hand ghosting over the base of your tail. Your back is pressed up against the rocky wall, and you feel like his larger body is engulfing your form entirely. You glare at him in irritation as an oddly serious expression crosses Goku's face. 

"I'm gonna take my hand away. Be quiet and focus for a minute." He moves his hand, resting it comfortably on your side. It's placed directly on your wound, courtesy of your battle with Burter. You bite your lip, preventing yourself from wincing. Even the smallest amount of pressure is causing you severe pain. Maybe your injury is worse than you presumed. 

You shut your eyes partly to distract yourself from the pain, but the main objective is to focus on the energy around you. There's someone out there, and they're powerful too. That has to be Ginyu. Shit, your explosive outburst could have just gotten you both killed. What is wrong with you today? 

Where you're standing in the pit. There's still a patch of grass over the top. Providing a shield from anything or anyone from the outside. You hate to admit it, but this was actually a wise decision on Goku's part. Never did you think that Kakarot would be the one to remain collective while you're the one behaving recklessly.  

The two of you remain pressed up against each other. Frankly, you're too close for comfort. You can feel every fall and rise of his chest. You can even hear his heartbeat, which is thumping just as rapidly as your own. The sound of Ginyu's faint murmuring invades your ears, though you can't hear anything he says clearly. He must be too far away.

You try to keep your erratic breathing under control, which stems from both pain and nerves. Your surroundings grow quiet, and Ginyu's energy disappears altogether. He must have left. You finally have room to breathe as Goku takes a few steps back, distancing himself from you. His eyes scan your face before quickly darting down to one of his hands. Specifically, the one that's now covered in your blood. His eyes go-round as he moves closer, invading your personal space once again. "Are you hurt?"

His tone lacks his typical cheery nature, causing you to tilt your head upward, your brain desperately attempting to form a contingency plan to get you out of this mess. "I'm fine." Goku makes you uneasy. He's nothing like a Saiyan should be. His behavior is all over the place, and not a single one of his actions adds up in your realm of logic. Out of all the ruthless and sadistic Saiyan's that could've survived, never in a million years did you expect one as pathetic as Kakarot to live.

"But, you're bleeding." This timid side of Goku is somehow worse than his typical cheerful self. You didn't think he could disgust you further, but once again, that defect proves you wrong.

You suppress an eye roll, keeping your piercing gaze locked on him. If you were to look away now, it would appear like you were backing down. And you refuse to let a fool like Kakarot win. "It's not my blood, Kakarot." Hopefully, he'll fall for your lies and drop this pointless conversation here.

"If it's not your blood, then let me see." He moves his hands to your hips, clawing at the bottom of your chest plate.

You grab his wrist, pushing them away. The two of you continue going back and forth, gripping and pushing at each other. It's been a while since someone challenged you like this, one on one. No one back on the Frieza Force would have dared to go against your wishes. Goku's different from them. He's not afraid of you, and it doesn't seem that he'll give up anytime soon. You would've never pegged Kakarot for the stubborn type. Maybe there's still a bit of true Saiyan nature in him, after all. And as infuriating as he is, you can't say you're disappointed. "Knock it off, Kakarot!" 

"Stop being such a baby, and let me help you." If you were in a public setting, those passing by might have believed you were a couple. Having one of those sweet but sicking play fights. While in reality, that was far from the truth. This proves just how thin the line between love and hate truly is. 

"I don't want your help!" You stop fighting him, crossing your arms over your chest, denying him access to your upper half. 

You thought you had outsmarted him, that was until his hands landed on the sides of your top. "Fine. I'll just tear your armor off then."

You stare at him in disbelief. "Do you have no boundaries?" He has to be bluffing, right? No one could be this shameless. However, the look on his face, mixed with his grip on your top tightening, tells you a whole different story. He's serious about this. "Wait---" You place one of your hands on his chest. "If you back off, and shut up. I'll take it off."

He complies with your terms, stepping back, pressing his lips into a thin line. Your hands are violently shaking as you slowly move them to the corners of your chest piece. You've stripped your armor off in front of Raditz, Nappa, and Cado a million times before. So why does this feel so different?

You steadily pull your tunic above your head, slipping your chest piece off your body, leaving you in your nylon blue sports bra. And it really doesn't leave much to the imagination. You turn your head, finally getting to see the wound yourself. It's much deeper than you thought, but due to your Saiyan genetics, it's already healing quite nicely. "Are you pleased? Now, will you finally shut up?"

Feeling self-conscious from his gaze, you cross your arms over your chest again. "No. Why would I be happy about this? It looks, really, bad Y/N." Why does he care about your physical condition? At the end of the day, you're enemies, and your nauseating alliance is only temporary. You just don't understand him. You can't read him either, so you have no clue what he'll do next. And it's driving you mad. 

"Wait." He grins. "I brought Senzu Beans with me." A Senzu what now? Those must be those healing beans he gave Krillin and Gohan back on Earth. He searches his pockets, only to come up empty-handed. He grabs his head as a look of realization crosses his features. "I'm so stupid. I left them on the ship."

Well, there's one thing you both agree on, Kakarot does have a moronic nature. "Hey, relax. I'm fine, Kakarot." You wrap your tail around your waist, applying pressure to your wound. "This is all I need to do. I've done this several times before, and look, I'm still standing, aren't I?"

Your assurance doesn't seem to be enough for Goku. "Please--- just let me help you." He's pleading with you. Does he really have no ulterior motives? Does he really just want to help you? You'd typically laugh at someone pleading with you, but when it's from him. It makes you uncharacteristically sad.

Those puppy dog eyes should be illegal. You swear Goku would be able to make you do anything just with that one look. "O-Ok." Did you seriously just agree? How can a simple glance make you so weak? An expression like that would typically make you sick. Maybe the amount of blood you've lost has made you delirious. That's a plausible explanation. You're clearly doing everything under Namek's three suns to evade the possibility that these new strange feelings could be your own mind's fabrication. 

He removes the cord holding his gi together, causing the orange fabric to hang loose. You now have a clear view of his torso, revealing the blue undershirt that was once hidden under his gi. He slips the shirt off, ripping the bottom of his shirt into strips. "You know I might not be the smartest guy in the world. But I do know that you have to keep wounds clean to avoid infection." He kneels in front of you, giving himself easier access to your side. You don't mind. Him leaning down to help you would've probably made you even more flustered. 

His hand brushes against your tail, causing you to jump. He stares at you in alarm. "Sorry, I forgot that hurts you."

"I-It didn't hurt. I trained myself out of that weakness a long time ago. It's just a sensitive area still." He nods as you uncoil your tail, giving him direct access to your injury. He wraps the strips of cloth around your torso. The fabric is in replacement of a bandage, not bad for a makeshift patch-up at all. You've seen Nappa and Raditz do much worse.

Goku stands back up, tying his gi back together. "See. Good as new." That dopey smile on his face really makes you want to punch him. His facial expression may be causing you mild irritation, and his words had no humor to them, but you can no longer hold back your fit of laughter that is now escaping your lips. "What's so funny?"

"You are."

He pouts, which only makes you laugh more. "I'm not funny."

"Oh, yes you are, Kakarot. Everything about your existence is either. A. amusing or B. irritating." You're about to berate him even further, but you stop yourself. Someone is standing directly above you, and It isn't Ginyu this time. Their power level is far too low. It's not anyone you're currently aligned with either. By now, you know Vegeta's power level by heart, and you were able to memorize the other's energy levels during your previous encounter with them. So it's best to assume that above you is one of Frieza's minions. 

You do have a weapon at your disposal. No one knows that Goku is here except for you. And you intend to use that piece of knowledge to your advantage. You grab his wrist, pulling Goku back to the wall, successfully switching positions with him.

 You look up, getting a good look at the figure above you. Just your luck, it's Jeice. What's next? Will a scorned, old flame of yours show up in an attempt to win you back? Or will Frieza show up for a tea party?

Sadly, it's too late for you to duck back into the corner. That prick already saw you. You move out into the open, keeping Jeice off Kakarot's scent. A self-satisfied grin appears on Jeice lips as he admires your practically bare torso. "Hello, love. You having fun down there?"

"Oh, it's a real party, Jeice." His gaze makes your skin crawl differently. Kakarot's makes you nervous, but Jeice's makes you want to hurl.  

"I have to say, Y/N. I am surprised you'd fall for something so simple-minded."

You turn your head, subtly glaring at Goku. "You're right. That's not like me at all. I must have had a severe lapse in judgment."

"Well, gorgeous. Looks like today's your lucky day. I'll pull you up, but under one condition." You wouldn't accept his aid even if there wasn't a catch. You'd rather spend an eternity in the pit with Kakarot than owe Jeice any favors. "All you have to do is betray Vegeta, re-pledge your allegiance to Lord Frieza, and of course, become my wife."

You scoff, shaking your head. "Ya, no chance in hell I'm doing any of that."

"Oh, come on, Y/N. You'd rather be stuck down there, all alone. Then be with me."

"I wish I was alone right now." You mutter to yourself. Whether this statement was directed at Jeice of Goku is unclear, but it's most likely the latter.

He moves his hand to his scouter. "I didn't quite catch that Y/N. Was that your native tongue? Or were you just whispering?"

"I said I'd rather rot down here! And by the way, the only thing less appealing than death on this shitty planet would be marrying you."

He scowls at you. "I was trying to play nice, but now I see that's not a viable option. So if you insist you'd rather die down there, I won't be the one to stop you. Just know, you lost your only chance of leaving this damn rock alive." He takes off, now in an irritable mood. Maybe you should've played nice and asked him about Vegeta and the others. It probably doesn't matter either way. Who's to say Jeice would've told the truth.

Goku walks over to you, sheepishly handing you your chest piece. You find him much less irritating now. It turns out Kakarot isn't the worst being you could've been trapped with. It could've been much worse. You could be stuck down here with Jeice instead.

-

The group of four has covered a lot of ground, considering what terrible shape they're in. Recoome really did a number on them, especially Vegeta. He's limping while the others are still able to walk with only mild discomfort. After Vegeta was down for the count, it took Gohan, Krillin, and Raditz all together to finish Recoome off. Raditz is by far in the best shape of the group. Since he jumped in last, getting the KO. The other three would've been executed without the intervention of the largest Saiyan. And lady luck appeared to be on their side because Jeice fled shortly after Recoome fell. A few weeks ago, this group teaming up would've been unimaginable, former allies, enemies, and friends alike, with the lines between each category, quickly blurring together.

The issue with you suppressing your power level is now more prominent than ever. They can't easily locate you, so a search party is sadly the best they can do. Vegeta knew he should've gotten you chipped when he had the chance. He'd be able to locate you anywhere, anytime he wanted. So what if it violated your privacy. If it was up to Vegeta, you'd be one leash by now.

Gohan turns to his uncle. "Do you think Y/N's alright?"

"She's fine. Y/N's incredibly resourceful. If she couldn't surpass him in strength, she'd be able to easily outwit him. Y/N's always done as she's pleased, so it's not surprising if she got a bit carried away." Raditz knows you're alive. He can feel it. A creature as brain-dead as Burter wouldn't be the one to take you out. You'd definitely go out with a bigger bang.

"Stop the chit-chat, and stay focused!" Vegeta snarls at the uncle-nephew duo.

Raditz lowers his voice to a whisper. "Don't mind him. Vegeta's just worried."

"Shut your damn mouth, Raditz! Before I shut it for you, permanently." Raditz's eyes widen in terror as he frantically restarts his search. Pissing off Vegeta right now would not be an intelligent choice.

They explore another good portion of the planet. The only downside is they haven't found any sign of life. The group was about to pause and rest until a strange ship entered their field of vision. Krillin's eyes widen, a grin spreading across his lips. As he reads the words located on the side of the vessel. He begins sprinting toward the machine with Gohan not far behind. "Capsule Corp! We're saved!" 

Vegeta and Raditz observe the two in bewilderment. Vegeta never thought that Raditz could ever be the second smartest person in his vicinity. Today is just full of surprises. "Slow down, you neanderthals!" Vegeta shouts. "It could be a trap." The two Saiayn's have obviously seen more of the world. Even a fool like Raditz understands protocol about behavior on a foreign planet.

The pair ignore their Saiyan allies. With Krillin entering the ship first. "Goku?" He shouts.

"Dad?" Gohan enters the ship, only to find no sign of his father. The pair begin searching the aircraft, looking for clues to where Goku's whereabouts may be. The two Saiyan's tread carefully into the ship. Nothing seems dangerous at the moment. And they wouldn't put it past Kakarot to abandon the only source of transportation off this damn planet. Gohan furrows his brows. "Where could he have gone?"

"Do you guys think he could've been captured? Krillin's question was directed toward the Saiyan's. Vegeta and Raditz both know what the Frieza Force can do while he and Gohan are basically fish out of water.

"Relax." Raditz is the one to break the silence. "If Kakarot was captured, we'd all already know."

"There would be signs of a struggle. And extreme damage to the outside terrain. Kakarot left on his own accord, now let's go, we now have two fools to find."

Krillin was about to follow Vegeta's orders until his eyes land on a small bag. "Wait." He grabs the bag from the table. "If this is what I think it is--- it is. Leave it to Goku to forget an entire bag of Senzu beans." He pulls one of the green beans out of the bag, tossing it to Gohan and grabbing another for himself. 

He throws the bag at Raditz, who catches it with ease. The Saiyan watches the earthling and half-breed eat them first. Their injuries heal instantly, so it isn't poison. That small fact seems to be enough for Raditz, as he eats one of the beans himself. 

After he heals, he hands the bag to Vegeta. "Wait! Raditz!" Krillin shrieks. He's aware that their alliance is quite temporary and will probably end once they successfully disband the Ginyu Force.

Krillin charges at Vegeta, only to be stopped by Raidtz's hand. Which is placed firmly against his forehead, the Saiyan can hold him back with ease. "Stop. You know we can't do this on our own, even with Kakarot's help. Take it from someone who personally knows Frieza and the Ginyu Force. We need him."

Vegeta holds the Senzu bean in his hand, eyeing it skeptically. Before tossing it in his mouth, chewing it slowly. His eyes flash in amazement as his substantial injuries heal instantly. Even though he's seen the bean work wonders before, he still can't believe its capabilities. 

"Do you guys think that Goku and Y/N could be together?" Krillin's question makes a lot of sense, and unknowingly to him, very accurate. 

Vegeta sighs. "It's a possibility." The idea alone makes Vegeta cringe. Just the possibility of you being alone with Kakarot makes him irritable. 

"Well, if they're together, that's a good thing, right?" Gohan's cheerful voice cuts in. "It should be easier to find them, then."

Raditz snickers. "But, will they both be alive? That's the million-dollar question."

Krillin's eyes widen. It wouldn't surprise him if Goku's personality pushed you over the realm of sanity. He sometimes even feels like he's losing his mind when he's with his childhood friend. "Good point. If that's the case, we better step up our game."

The group of four exits the ship, continuing their search. And it doesn't take long for them to discover something else that stops them in their tracks. They located Burter's corpse, more specifically a headless Burter. Decapitation seems to be your go-to method of execution today. It's good to mix things up once in a while.

"Well, it looks like we know what happened here." You jump up in the pit. You'd recognize that voice anywhere. As always, your big brother, Vegeta, comes to your rescue.

"Vegeta! Get me the hell out of here!" Vegeta furrows his brows, desperately looking in all directions. He flys up to get a birds-eye view of the landscape. A higher altitude should be beneficial in tracking you down.

As soon as you hear Vegeta's obnoxious laughter, you know he's found you. He lands on the side of the dip in the ground. "Looks like you're in quite the predicament there, baby sister!" You've never been happier to see that arrogant smirk before in your life. 

"Vegeta, come on, get me out of here! I can't take another second of this torture."

"I don't know." Vegeta rubs his chin. "You did leave me alone, with those three idiots. Maybe I should leave you down there with Kakarot so you can learn a lesson."

"Come on, Vegeta. You know we don't have time for this." Raditz places a large branch in the pit. You should easily be able to climb up it. The barrier is only activated for those inside the hole. So it should cause a rift when something is poking out of it.

You place your hands on the wood as you start shimming upwards. You wince in pain, stumbling a bit. Your injury must be affecting you more than you thought. Goku quickly grabs you, placing his hands on your hips holding you in place.

"D- Don't touch me!"

Goku sighs. Your hot and cold behavior is really confusing to him. "I was just trying to help you. You were gonna fall."

"As we discussed before. I don't want your help." You pull yourself up the rest of the way up, rushing to Raditz. You wrap your arms around the giant, desperately clinging to him. "I take back every bad thing I've ever said about you."

Raditz furrows his brows, looking over your head at his brother, who had just climbed back to the surface. "God, Kakarot. What did you do to her?"

"Relax, you drama queen. You were only down there for about an hour or so." Vegeta pulls you off Raditz as your hand quickly lands over the sight of your wound. There's no need to worry Vegeta about this. It's just a minor scratch, that's all. He scans his eyes over your from, checking for any irregularities. "No injuries. All your limbs are intact. I'm surprised."

"Well, actually---" You slap Goku's leg with your tail, causing him to yelp out in pain. 

"Yep, I'm all good." You plaster an ingenuine smile on your face.

Gohan, Krillin, and Goku all have a little reunion. The rest of you will not take any part in that conversation. Kakarot's arrival isn't something to celebrate. He won't be your saving grace. "So, what's our next move?" Raditz turns to Vegeta. It's almost like nothing has changed. Like you've stepped into a time machine and went back to a much simpler time. Back when things were much less complicated.

"We go find Ginyu and Jeice too." Vegeta turns to you. "That red menace got away."

"I know. Jeice paid Kakarot and me a visit. Putting it simply, he's not gonna be in very high spirits."

Raditz chuckles. "Well, getting turned down so many times can't be good for his ego. Especially by the ice princess."

"She's far from an ice princess. Saiyan-wise, my sister is actually quite friendly. Out of our entire bloodline, I'd say she has the best people skills. She knows how to work a crowd. That's why our father wanted to put her in charge of foreign affairs."

"Was that a compliment, Vegeta?"

"I wouldn't dare." He pauses, turning to the other three. "Alright, let's get this over with. I don't want to spend any more time with you fools than necessary."

-

The group is finally reunited. But what does Captain Ginyu have in store for our heroes? And will Jeice ever get Y/N's attention? Find out in the next chapter of The Princess of All Saiyans..

[thisisarcanereverie]

Should’ve Known Chapter 15

A/N: Enjoyyyyyyyy!!! Also please comment, it really motivates me to get chapters out sooner!

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own Wanda or Steve they are owned by Marvel, I don’t own the gif either.

WARNINGS:Angst, Swearing, the stages of grief, loss, dark themes, 18 + from here on out.

WORDS : 3,896 

SUMMARY:  A surprise visitor makes himself known

In case you missed last chapter

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After Sam and Bucky’s impromptu visit life had returned to normal. 

Well almost. 

Every day these past few weeks, you woke up to Wanda staring out the window, almost as though she was waiting for something. 

Or someone. 

The uneasy feeling of an unknown arrival weighed heavily in Wanda’s gut. The only thing Wanda can do is wait, it’s been weeks now and still no sign of this mysterious force. Strange had advised her to wait, to be patient. That if this force meant harm to (Y/n) or the twins then he and the rest of their small but loving family wouldn’t rest until they were avenged. 

Wanda just wanted to teleport her family away, hide them somewhere this arrival couldn’t find them. 

But no, Wanda decided to listen to Strange and remain patient. Decided to wait for this force to reveal themselves. 

Wanda already deduced that it had something to do with Sam and Bucky, Sam had lied when he fumbled an excuse about some abandoned HYDRA base being near Scotland. Bucky had radiated anger and hurt when he left. 

Suddenly Wanda could familiar arms wrap around her middle and a chin rest on her shoulder and almost by magic the overwhelming feeling of dread became almost mute. 

almost. 

“Morning babe,” You softly said, Wanda closed her eyes and let herself relax at the touch of your lips on her neck and the sound of your breathing. 

“Morning beautiful,” Wanda greeted and she turned away from the window to face you. She held your face in her hands gently, brushing the tops of your cheekbones with her thumb. Your eyes had always been Wanda’s favorite thing about you physically, the way they shined when they looked at her like she was something precious. 

“Your mind is busy,” You drew Wanda from her thoughts. Your eyes held concern as you pulled her closer to you. “Is it the feeling again?”

You knew that the feeling Wanda felt that night hadn’t gone away and it was starting to concern you.

“I don’t know what it is,” Wanda admitted, “but we will be fine,” Wanda promised you as she closed the distance between your lips and hers. Wanda relished the feeling of your lips against hers, it made every negative feeling mute and the more positive ones heightened. Wanda became addicted to you the moment you shared your first kiss. The loss, the grief she had endured would be nothing compared to losing you, to losing this family that she cherished so much. Vision may have broken her, but losing you and the twins. 

Wanda would live up to the name, the Scarlet Witch. 

After kissing every part of you she could, you both continued with your weekend ritual. 

During the weekend Wanda would take a break from training and the kids would take a break from school work. You and Wanda would let them sleep in a little before waking them up, making a family breakfast and let the day take you wherever it may. 

It was around noon when you and the twins decided to have a family movie marathon. The twins were in charge of getting the blankets and pillows, you were in charge of the movie, while Wanda was in charge of take out. 

Since Wanda could teleport / fly, and due to her years of training with Strange she was able to teleport almost anywhere in the world so long she could picture it. 

Before Wanda headed out the door she took one last look behind her, savoring the sight and sound of yours and the kids' laughter. Sunlight bouncing off of your heads and the sweet bell-like laughter filled the air as the kids did something silly that made you collectively laugh. 

They were silly kids, so full of love and laughter. They reminded Wanda of her and Pietro, she could especially see it when they laughed or played together. It filled Wanda with a bittersweet feeling. She hoped everyday that Pietro could see her, see this family that she had found and love it just as much as she did. 

Wanda turned around and took one step out the screen door before stopping dead in her tracks. 

The feeling of dread in her gut exploded and she looked into the distance and there, only a few hundred yards away from the porch was the one man she least expected to see. 

Steve Rogers.

 As youthful as the last she saw him.

Tears pricked the corners of her eyes at the sight of her old friend before the sounds of laughter brought her back to the present.

There was the one thing in this universe she couldn’t lose, and it was only a few hundred yards away from the one thing that could take it away. 

“Wands?” She heard you call to her, you must have noticed the look on her face and became concerned. 

“Stay inside,” Wanda said, “keep the kids inside I’ll be right back.” 

“Wanda, what's wrong?” You asked, worry seeping into your voice, the kids had grown quiet and curious as well. 

“Everything will be alright,” Wanda lied, “just promise me that you won’t look out here.” 

You trusted Wanda to do what was best and nodded. You quickly ushered the kids to their room with the promise of playing a game. Before you left, Wanda held your hand and squeezed. 

“I love you Солнечный свет,” Wanda said, “I’ll be right back.” 

Without another word Wanda felt her Scarlet Witch form take over and floated to the golden haired super soldier. 

Wanda had hoped that maybe it was the sun that made him look so young, but no, he had barely aged a day since the funeral. 

Wanda landed in front of the man, preventing him from nearing her home any further. 

“Steve,” Wanda greeted, not trying to prevent the surprise in her tone. “you’re back?”

“I never left.”

Confusion filled Wanda’s thoughts. 

“What do you mean?” Wanda asked. Steve sighed and looked down, almost as though he was ashamed. 

“I loved Peggy but when I went back, I saw that she had this whole life without me. I couldn’t bring myself to destroy any of that, so I came back. When I came back I was done, done with the wars, the fighting. I looked at my shield and saw nothing but all the people I hurt. So I gave Sam my Shield, Bucky my notebooks and retired.”

Wanda felt anger boil in her veins the longer he spoke and the more she processed his words. So all this time, he had been here this whole time, and never once thought to reach out to anyone. 

He had let (Y/n) suffer, alone, pregnant. 

Pregnant. 

Twins. 

The gears in Wanda’s mind started to turn as she realized what happened. Sam and Bucky knew Steve was still alive, so when they saw the twins... their heads were going to roll once she’s taken care of this. 

“Why are you here?” Wanda’s accent thickened as her fingers began to twirl creating her signature red energy orbs. Steve noticed this and stood his ground, refusing to waver. 

“You know why I’m here.” 

Wanda’s head titled as she glared at him menacingly. 

“This,” Wanda emphanzied, “ will be your only warning...stay out of my home.” Wanda floated just high enough to tower over him, “you are a trespasser and I want you to leave.” 

It took all of her self restraint not to send him away herself, she floated to the ground and turned to walk back into the home she shared with her family. 

“You know I can’t do that.” Steve said stubbornly, “I need to see them. See her.”

“WHY?!” Wanda shouted, “So you could tell her that while she was mourning after Tony, Nat, and YOU that while she was pregnant with her children-” 

“They’re my children too-”

“NO THEY ARE NOT!” Wanda felt anger she knew all too well, “And she is not your wife either. You weren’t there to hold her hair back when she had morning sickness. You weren’t there to hear the twins suck in their first breath. You weren’t there to kiss away their cuts and bruises. You weren’t there to assure (Y/n) that she was a great mother, and she is. She loves those children with everything she has in her. And I do too. You weren’t there to comfort or protect them, but I was. This family isn’t yours Steve, it’s mine. She is my wife and those are our children. They’re MY family, you can’t just expect to waltz in here and expect her to jump into your arms and the twins to know who you are when they never met you!” 

Wanda’s words echoed and Steve was taken aback. He looked at the ring on Wanda’s finger and almost laughed. He was a man out of time indeed. 

“Steve?” 

Wanda and Steve immediately turned to the feminine figure behind them and Wanda felt her very being began to shake. 

Your eyes tore themselves away from the muscular man and to your wife, who looked more scared than you had ever seen her. And that included the Westview incident. 

You could see her petite shoulders shaking and her glowing red eyes held tears, for anyone else she might have seemed threatening. But you could see beneath the glowing red hands and frightening aura and saw that Wanda had been scared, she was angry yes, but the main emotion running through her now was fear. 

You ran to your wife’s side without another thought toward the super soldier beside her. 

You placed your hands on either side of her face and brought her gaze to look at you. 

“Wands, babe breathe, I’m right here breathe with me.” You place one of her hands on your chest as you coach her breathing, trying to get her to calm down.

Wanda swears you must have magic since it works, as it always does when she’s severely upset. 

“(Y/n)-” Steve began.

“I will get to you, don't you worry.” You promised as you glared at him, “but first I need to take care of my wife.” 

You don’t even wait for his response before lifting Wanda effortlessly in your arms to take her inside your home. Wanda was still shaking by the time you gently sat her on the couch the Scarlet Witch form had long since disappeared. You dropped to her level and took her trembling hands in yours. 

“You’re not scared of me?” Wanda asked, her eyes wide. 

“I could never be scared of you,” You assured her, “I can be concerned, even worried, but never scared of you.” You feel her shaking ease a little. A moment of silence passed before you sighed deeply. 

“I understand why you didn’t say anything,” you said, “why you wanted me to stay inside, still-” You took a deep breath in, “still I wish you would’ve said something.” 

“I’m sorry,” Wanda whispered as she put her forehead against yours, you wanted to be mad at her for not telling you, however, you learned long ago that even if you were mad at her it was never for long. For a while you stayed like that, until Wanda’s erratic heart beat slowed and her breathing returned to normal. 

“We’ll talk through this tonight,” You said as you kissed her forehead and stood up, “but for right now assure the kids that everything is fine, I told them that we had another visitor. Keep them inside, keep them calm.” Wanda nodded and you gently lifted her head and kissed her pink lips gently. 

“I love you,” You said, “I’ll be right back.” 

Without another word you made your way to the screen door and onto the porch, where Steve was with his hands in his pockets and head hung. 

At first glance it would seem that time hadn’t touched him at all, however with a better look at him you noticed his hair had gotten longer and contained a few stray grays, he also grew back his beard. 

It was obvious that he saw you and Wanda, you almost laughed at how poorly he hid his emotions, even after all these years. 

The sun had begun to set and bathed the blonde man in it’s light. For a moment you relive Tony’s funeral. How Steve had held you, kissed you, how hurt you were when he left. 

You began to walk across the porch to where he stood, avoiding looking at you. 

“Walk with me,” You said simply, you decided that until you were far enough away from the cottage you wanted to keep your words at a minimum. 

Steve followed you wordlessly, through the fields and into the woods surrounding your home. 

Long ago you and Wanda explored the woods and discovered a hidden path to a stream where you often came to when you needed some space to collect yourself. 

Steve didn’t say a word as you walked to the stream, brushing away branches that hung in the way and listening to the birds sing their song did nothing to help soothe your nerves. 

It wasn’t long until you heard the sound of water delicately rushing and the fresh scent of wet earth did you finally collect your thoughts. 

Once by the stream's edge you finally turn around and face the man following behind you. 

“Explain.” You said, still trying to keep your calm and not lose your temper. 

“(Y/n) what I did that da-” 

“No,” You interrupted crossing your arms, “Your actions that day explained everything, your notebook explained everything,” You pointed out, “what I mean is explain why and how you are here now, and explain how you even knew where we lived.” 

Steve took a deep breath in before finally meeting you in the eyes. His baby blues unwavering, once upon a time those eyes could make your heart melt. But all they did now was make you wish that they were the familiar green that you’ve come to love. 

“When I went back that day,Steve began, “I saw Peggy, saw her live her incredible life. Saw her fall in love with this dark haired man with only one good leg, and as I saw how she looked at him I realized something. She moved on, her life didn’t start or end with me, she found happiness and love and who was I to take it all away from her. It also came to my attention that if I did indeed take that all away from her, then I would be doing exactly as the Red Skull would’ve done. I would’ve been playing god and left my humanity behind.I also realized that I put her on this pedestal so high that no one could even come close to her. I also realized that I hurt you in a way that could never be redeemed. So I said my final goodbye to her, and came back that day. I think saying goodbye to her was what I needed to do in order to finally stop. Stop fighting other people's wars and start moving on and accepting that I will never be that kid from Brooklyn again. So I gave Sam my Shield and Bucky my notebooks and swore them to secrecy. I was going to tell you, beg you to forgive me.” Steve took a deep breath, “Just as I was about to run to you, you entered the car and broke down. I felt like I was swimming in guilt, and the worst part was, I deserved every horrible feeling I felt right then and there. You loved me, and I loved you but I didn’t love you the way you deserved. I wasn’t what you deserved, so when I saw Wanda get in that car and do the things that I couldn’t bring myself to. I told myself to give you up, because you deserve someone to love and care for you the way I couldn’t.”

Your heart pounded against your chest and mind began to race. You felt like throwing up and crying at the same time, it was a confusing sort of emotion. 

“That day an unknown number called my phone and left a message,” you said, “was it you?” Steve took in another breath before nodding. 

“Yeah,” he confirmed, “I just wanted to hear your voice, one last time. I started saying something, but in the end I didn’t say anything at all.” 

“And you said you gave Bucky your notebooks?” You questioned, your head starting to hurt. 

“Yes?”

“Then it wasn’t you who sent me that notebook.” You concluded, you hoped wherever the metal arm man was right now that he had already saved you the trouble of digging his grave. 

“You have one of my notebooks?” Steve questioned, you only nodded. There was a stretch of silence before the blonde spoke again, “which one?” 

“The one you mostly wrote about your day to day life in.” 

“Fucking Bucky,” Steve grumbled which almost made you laugh. You and Steve then proceeded to look at the water rushing, silence filling the space for a second before you broke it. 

“I never did read the final page,” You revealed. 

“the only thing I wrote in the final page was a goodbye to Bucky,” he said as he continued to stare at the stream. Seeing the water rush over the aloe covered stones at the bottom. 

“So where were you?” You asked, expecting him to say something like Fiji or some distant island owned by SHIELD. 

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Try me.”

“The moon.” 

You whipped your head away from the stream to look at him, waiting for his serious face to turn to one of amusement. Only to be met with truthful eyes staring back into yours. You don’t know who laughed first, you or him but the air was filled by amused laughter. 

“You’re kidding me.” You said, laughter still evident in your tone. 

“Serious as a heart attack,” 

“Don’t jinx yourself, you're pushing 112 old man.” You elbow nudged him jokingly. “Who set all that up?” 

“Maria Hill,” Steve said, “I asked her to keep it a secret from Fury.” 

“I can understand why,” You said, “Fury would’ve tried to get you out of retirement. He’s already tried that with me at least six times these past two years alone.” 

“It does seem that his immediate response to any mild crisis is to call the Avengers isn’t it? 

“We aren’t Avengers anymore.” You pointed out, sadness seeping into your tone. 

“That we aren’t.” Steve agreed somberly. Silence passed by one last time before Steve finally broke the silence. 

“What are they like?” Steve asked, nervousness evident in his tone as he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. It didn’t take a genius to know who he was referring to. 

“The boy’s name is Steven Anthony Maximoff,” You started, “he is the funniest and most wonderful boy in the universe. He loves old music and his favorite flavor is vanilla.” You turn to see Steve smile, remembering that birthday all those years ago where you surprised him with a single vanilla cupcake with one red white and blue candle. “the girl’s name is Scarlet Natasha Maximoff, she is the bravest and wonderful girl in the universe, she has this unwavering sense of justice already at six and she loves reading. They’re both so full of goodness and they’re my entire world.” You smile thinking about them, “they are each other’s best friend, they love Wanda and Wanda... Wanda would tear this universe apart if they were ever hurt.” 

“Is she good to you?”

“She’s the best,” You say smiling at the thought of her, “it’s like she said, she held my hair back when I threw up. She held my hand, she was there with me when the twins took their first breath. She was there to hold me together when I felt like breaking and shattering apart. She made me feel truly loved for the first time since Tony and Nat, since you. She is my anchor and everyday I wake up, look at her and wonder how I ever got to be so lucky as to have her in my life.” 

“I thought you didn’t want to get married?”

“I’ve always trusted actions more than words,” you said, “So when she got down on one knee one night and said that she wanted to be with me forever, and if I ever wanted to get married she would happily marry me in the next hour. And if I never wanted to get married, she would happily stay by my side regardless. She gave me space to think about it, she made it abundantly clear that I was under no obligation to marry her. All of her actions gave me space and time that I needed to properly think about it. And the only thought that came to my head was that, if I had to spend the rest of my life with one person, I want it to be her.” 

You looked at the blonde next to you and saw the bittersweet look in his eyes, the look that you often remembered him having whenever he talked about Peggy. 

“I really am a man out of time aren’t I?”

“What can I say,” You said, “you have a reputation to keep up.” 

You both laughed again before Steve spoke again. 

“I want to meet them.” 

You were afraid he was going to say that. 

“I need to talk to Wanda about it,” you said, “she’s a part of this just as much as we are. She’s been as much as a mother to those twins as I am, she loves them just as much as I do. She deserves a say in this.”

“I understand,” Steve said, “just give me a call when you’ve talked it out with her.” 

“I will.” You promised, “you’ll get to meet them, I just don’t know how to introduce you to them.” 

“What have you told them about me?” 

“The truth,” You said, “that I loved their father dearly, that he was a good man who stood for justice and truth above all. That he always stood his ground and fought back, even when the odds were against him, because he always did what he thought was right. He was a hero.” 

“Thank you,” Steve said, “You could’ve told them I was a horrible man but you didn’t.”

You nodded and felt this weight that you didn’t know weighing on your chest lift. It was like suddenly you could breathe again. 

You looked at the man beside you and for the first time, it didn’t hurt and you didn’t feel numb. You guess after all of that, you were glad to see him. 

“Who ratted us out.” 

“Bucky.” Steve replied not even bothering to lie. Steve knew better than to try to protect his friend from the wrath of two of the most powerful people on this planet. 

“Good to know.” You said, creating a mental note to have Fury babysit soon while you and Wanda went on a man hunt. 

Silence passed again before you broke it. 

“So,” you began, “How was retirement on the moon?”

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