#mostly bc this is also. fully a playlist i would make (and have)

[vocaloid-song-showdown]

the poll for how to arrange the brackets just finished with proceeding as originally planned winning!

so, without further ado, here are the lineups ^^

note :: songs with a * next to them may require a content warning. i'll provide specific warnings as soon as i have the time, but as of now please proceed with caution

main matchup bracket ::

alice of human sacrifice* by yugami p / fear garden* by chaa

magnet by minato p / romeo and cinderella by doriko

world is mine by ryo / world's end dancehall by wowaka

triple baka by lamaze p / the disappearance of hatsune miku by cosmo p

meltdown by iroha(sasaki) / luka luka★night fever by samfree

fire◎flower by halyosy / trick and treat by oster project

daughter of evil by mothy / dancing★samurai by kanimiso p

rolling girl by wowaka / matryoshka by hachi

madness of duke venomania* by mothy / alluring secret ~black vow~ by hitoshizuku x yama

senbonzakura by kurousa / outer science by jin

doubleganger by kulfiq / mikusabbath by utsu p

jinsei reset button by kemu / common world domination by pinnochio p

the fox's wedding* by masa works design / tokio funka by takamatt

heat haze days by jin / patchwork staccato by toa

six trillion years and an overnight story by kemu / lost one's weeping by neru

aishite aishite aishite by kikuo / echo by crusher p

setsuna drive by taki yoshimitsu / yoake to hotatu by n buna

a fake fake psychotropic by kairiki bear / therefore you and me by tadanoco

my r* by kurage p / i'm glad youre evil too by pinnochio p

chururira chururira dadada by kurage p / mkdr by deco*27

blessed messiah and the tower of ai by hitoshizuku x yama / 86 by dasu

law evading rock by neru / nakakapagpabagabag by dasu

sand planet by hachi / ghost rule by deco*27

monster by kira / hated by life itself by iori kanzaki

cause i'm a liar by mcki robyns p / honey i'm home by ghost

hole dwelling by kikuo / bring it on by giga

meteor by divela / seraphim on the ring by mitchie m

the court jester by thquib / casino by azari

king by kanaria / villain by teniwoha

lower by lanndo / phony by tsumiki

higanbana milk tea by vane / scapegoat by ghost

queen by kanaria / bug by kairiki bear

honorable mention bracket ::

electric angel by yasuo p (original), giga (giga arrange) / freely tomorrow by mitchie m

po pi po by lamaze p / go google it by wintermint p

black★rock shooter by ryo / bacterial contamination by kanimiso p

i like you, i love you by gevanni p / first love academy • school of true love by nem

(also a quick general note ! i don't have everything ready for a formal polished reveal at the time of posting this. i plan on updating this post with links to the songs and also a visual bracket when i have the time. they'll definitely be up soon, so make sure to check back in a bit for them ^^

i'll also make sure that reblogs are turned on for the final version!)

[lightningbig]

american poetry club in wilbur soot s5?? ohhh he's really going thru it

[bijoumikhawal]

hello! i hope it's alright to ask you this but i was wondering if you have any recommendations for books to read or media in general about the history of judaism and jewish communities in egypt, particularly in ottoman and modern egypt?

have a nice day!

it's fine to ask me this! Unfortunately I have to preface this with a disclaimer that a lot of books on Egyptian Jewish history have a Zionist bias. There are antizionist Egyptian Jews, and at the very least ones who have enough national pride that AFAIK they do not publicly hold Zionist beliefs, like those who spoke in the documentary the Jews of Egypt (avaliable on YouTube for free with English subtitles). Others have an anti Egyptian bias- there is a geopolitical tension with Egypt from Antiquity that unfortunately some Jewish people have carried through history even when it was completely irrelevant, so in trying to research interactions between "ancient" Egyptian Jews and Native Egyptians (from the Ptolemaic era into the proto-Coptic and fully Coptic eras) I've unfortunately come across stuff that for me, as an Egyptian, reads like anti miscegenationist ideology, and it is difficult to tell whether this is a view of history being pushed on the past or not. The phrase "Erev Rav" (meaning mixed multitude), which in part refers to Egyptians who left Egypt with Moses and converted to Judaism, is even used as an insult by some.

Since I mentioned that documentary, I'll start by going over more modern sources. Mapping Jewish San Francisco has a playlist of videos of interviews with Egyptian Jews, including both Karaites and Rabbinic Jews iirc (I reblogged some of these awhile ago in my "actually Egyptian tag" tag). This book, the Dispersion of Egyptian Jewry, is avaliable for free online, it promises to be a more indepth look at Egyptian Jews in the lead up to modern explusion. I have only read a few sections of it, so I cannot give a full judgment on it. There's this video I watched about preserving Karaite historical sites in Egypt that I remember being interesting. "On the Mediterranian and the Nile edited by Harvey E. Goldman and Matthis Lehmann" is a collection of memiors iirc, as is "the Man in the Sharkskin Suit" (which I've started but not completed), both moreso from a Rabbinic perspective. Karaites also have a few websites discussing themselves in their terms, such as this one.

For the pre-modern but post-Islamic era, the Cairo Geniza is a great resource but in my opinion as a hobby researcher, hard to navigate. It is a large cache of documents from a Cairo synagogue mostly from around the Fatimid era. A significant portion of it is digitized and they occasionally crowd source translation help on their Twitter, and a lot of books and papers use it as a primary source. "The Jews in Medieval Egypt, edited by: Miriam Frenkel" is one in my to read pile. "Benjamin H. Hary - Multiglossia in Judeio-Arabic. With an Edition, Translation, and Grammatical Study of the Cairene Purim Scroll" is a paper I've read discussing the Jewish record of the events commemorated by the Cairo Purim, I got it off either Anna's Archive or libgen. "Mamluks of Jewish Origin in the Mamluk Sultanate by Koby Yosef" is a paper in my to read pile. "Jewish pietism of the Sufi type A particular trend of mysticisme in Medieval Egypt by Mireille Loubet" and "Paul B Fenton- Judaism and Sufism" both discuss the medieval Egyptian Jewish pietist movement.

For "ancient" Egyptian Jews, I find the first chapter of "The Story of the Jews: Finding the Words 1000 BC-1492 AD” by Simon Schama, which covers Elephantine, very interesting (it also flies in the face of claims that Jews did not marry Native Egyptians, though it is from centuries before the era researchers often cover). If you'd like to read don't click this link to a Google doc, that would be VERY naughty. There's very little on the Therapeutae, but for the paper theorizing they may have been influenced by Buddhism (possibly making them an example of Judeo-Buddhist syncretism) look here (their Wikipedia page also has some sources that could be interesting but are not specifically about them). "Taylor, Joan E. - Jewish women philosophers of first-century Alexandria: Philo’s Therapeutae reconsidered" is also a to read.

I haven't found much on the temple of Onias/Tell el Yahudia/Leontopolis in depth, but I have the paper "Meron M. Piotrkowski - Priests in Exile: The History of the Temple of Onias and Its Community in the Hellenistic Period" in my to be read pile (which I got off Anna's Archive). I also have some supplemental info from a lecture I attended that I'm willing to privately share.

I also have a document compiling links about the Exodus of Jews from Egypt in the modern era, but I'm cautious about sharing it now because I made it in high school and I've realized it needs better fact checking, because it had some misinfo in it from Zionist publications (specifically about the names of Nazis who fled to Egypt- that did happen, but a bunch of names I saw reported had no evidence of that being the case, and one name was the name of a murdered resistance fighter???)

[heyjude19-writing]

hello! i've got some writing questions! Do you outline? what's your writing process like? any writing advice? any books about writing or dialogue or plot that you would recommend? thanks! love your fics <3

hello there! i love writing questions.

1.) I do outline! it's actually my favorite part of the writing process. every writer probably has a different preference for outlining, and mine is on the more chaotic end, i think. it's chronological, but mostly bullet points and dialogue snippets, half-formed scenes that excite me, etc. i feel the most free, creatively, at this point. anything i think up gets thrown on here and then when i feel like there's enough of a story to pursue, i go in and write right within that outline to flesh it all out and string it together.

2.) my writing process involves a lot of daydreaming and thinking through scenes ten different ways before I go write them down. I make a story playlist. I dig into the vibes i want to feel while reading and writing this story. then, per my outline response, i go into my outline and see what excites me about the story and where i'd like to focus my energy. i generally won't fully commit to a story idea unless i have a beginning and an end i want to work towards.

3.) writing advice: find what works for you and throw the rest out. for me, writing sprints are a HUGE motivator for me to get words on a page. i also dont always write a story chronologically, but skip around my outline based on what interests me. i have to have music. don't box yourself into a particular method or style just because it works for one writer. you may need complete silence, or a designated spot in your home to work, or maybe even a schedule. try out some routines and see what sticks.

4.) im not one for books on writing, so perhaps others can weigh in on any that might have helped them. i will say that for dialogue specifically, listening to transcripts has helped me a lot. pay attention to speech fillers when you hear real conversations and don't be afraid to have your characters speak imperfectly (bc you want them to sound like real people, right?). also one of the best dialogue tips i ever read was the 'pass the potatoes' tip. basically, if you're having a meal scene, it probably makes sense to have some of the conversation revolve around the setting, to make it feel more natural/immersive and less like your characters could be talking anywhere.

even though i don't read technical books, another tip would be to read widely and pay attention to what writers you admire do in their work. im constantly impressed by writers who are skilled at leaving narrative white space, or who can master large character casts, so i focus on what i want to improve and look for that when im reading novels/fics/magazine articles.

i hope some of this helps you on your writing journey, always happy to chat about writing 🥰

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

5 and 8 for Jason, and 19 and 21 for Tim?

Hello laufire :D I've seen you around in my notes a fair few times, thank you for the ask!

Jason first bc I am predictable 😌

5. First song that comes to mind for this character?

Dana Dan by Bloodywood! I had it as his theme song long before I started headcanoning him as religiously Hindu and the music video feels all the more appropriate now that I do!

There are a LOT of runners up, sixteen in specific I could name off the top of my head bc I made a whole character playlist for him and I listen to it every time I drive (burned CD in my car :3)

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Hoo boy, that competition is FIERCE lol I try my best not to talk about it in terms of complaints though. That's just not the energy I wanna have most of the time. That being said, since you asked for some salt ye shall receive hehehe!

I think the through line of the most annoying stuff is that people will point at something Jason did in his villain era and twist it wildly out of proportion into something unequivocally EVIL and then everyone else will (incorrectly imo!!!) claim that it's out of character and due to writers that hated him and we should throw it out.

The worst example of this by far is his fight with Mia Dearden

First of all, it was written by JUDD FUCKING WINICK so yeah this was not a matter of an unfavorable writer!! Second of all, I think it's a goddamned masterpiece of a comic, and THE successor to UtRH

So like you have the second Robin, born into grinding poverty, having to commit crime to survive, joining up with a vigilante mentor, and killing someone for the greater good, and then being utterly destroyed... and then you have the second Speedy, born into grinding poverty, having to commit crime to survive, joining up with a vigilante mentor, and killing someone for the greater good, and then growing from that to become a fully fledged hero in her own right! So similar and yet their paths have been so different with Mia healing and becoming even stronger and Jason having been isolated and pushed to villainous extremes.

Then during that confrontation each of them know about the other through hearsay and research, but have never met before. Each make their own assumptions and then prove that they are more than what was assumed of them! Jason makes a deeply flawed but earnest attempt to try and connect with Mia and she rejects it because she has the support he never did and therefore has already long ago grown passed what has destroyed and consumed him!!

And some people REDUCE their fight to just "evil scawy Jason trying to hurt poor widdwe Mia"???????????????????????????? Might I challenge those responsible to a duel of paintball rifles at dawn?!?!?!?

Kinda the entire fucking point of an antagonist is to let the complexities and nuances of the characters shine, and that's doubly true of antagonists that used to be protagonists! Mia and Jason are such amazing narrative foils for each other, and tbh, Jason himself is an extremely good foil in general! On top of that the Arrows have long been foils of the Bats, so Bruce and Ollie also foil each other in the background brilliantly as Jason runs rings around them both!!!!

I would need to start pulling up pictures of comic pages and write a full length essay to get into proper depth with it (And I do intend to eventually!!) but the way they each interact with that fight and with their own histories going into it is great for both characters and it's just... gah... basically my favorite comic ever and it's stuck in this meaningless tug of war over "characterization" from two sides who both mostly haven't read the damned thing, let alone properly dug into the analysis of why Jason did any of that or what it might mean to Mia beyond just being unpleasant...

I would KILL to get DC to let me write a Mia and Jason comic. There's so much fun shit that they could do together, no matter if they were allied or enemies, I'm gonna have to write it as fanfiction tbh, but the fact that Green Arrow (2001) #69 - #72 is completely ignored until someone wants to use it as flat proof of 'Jason bad and ur bad for liking him' is just...

Le sigh...

Anyway what the fuck was I doing? Answering an ask lol??

Okay here we go: Timmy Time!

19. A relationship in canon that you don't like?

Its gotta be Steph simply due to how badly it was mishandled. As usual with female characters, I feel like Steph's nuance and strength as a character was in direct conflict with how the authors implemented her narrative role as a love interest. The fact that Tim was flat out casually misogynistic to her for her whole introduction and it wasn't treated properly as a flaw is a deal-breaker for me. The amount of Steph's Wikipedia biography that's Tim's love life makes me want to commit arson. The ship itself in isolation from much of the canon may have potential, and the canon material itself isn't all bad by any means, but to me the relationship still feels like a net loss.

21. I do indeed write, uh, a considerable amount of fanfiction about this dude, so: What's your favorite thing to do in fics when it comes to this character? Something that you don't like?

I like making him more unhinged. Or rather, I interpret his early actions as having been spectacularly unhinged, and like to imagine he kept that energy up into later years. I'm so not interested in Tim being a well adjusted person tbh I want him in my wonderful little Freak 4 Freak ship being spectacularly messed up and incredibly weird with nonsensical ideas about how boundaries work

For what I don't like... Hmmmm, this one's a little hard to answer because most of that falls into the neutral category of stuff I have no interest in writing at all, and so I just don't lol

I suppose I don't like to do apologies, though I have written one. I like to get down into the messy depths of sympathy and resentment by having him talk about those conflicts with the allies that have hurt him. However, I think the direct contrition and simplicity of apologies has less and less appeal to me the more I develop as a writer. Apologies retroactively cement an idea of fault and blame. I think there's more room for exploration in having the characters talk through all of the components of the issue without ever having that particular kind of confrontation.

Thank you very much again for the ask!!! I hope this was a fun read :3

[just-a-carrot]

okookookkokoko WHERE DO I EVEN START. I LOVE THIS GAME SM SMH BUT I HAVE A HARD TIME EXPLAINING STUFF SO TAKE THIS SHORT PASSAGE. (Most of this will be an unorganized ramble btw)

(SPOILER WARNING FOR MOST ARCS)

I played T2A2G and OC before this so um. Guess which route I did lmao. SPEAKING OF ROUTES, GENZOU GENZOU GEZNOU GEZNOU GEZNOU OMG GENZOU. I RELATE TO THIS MAN IN WAYS I DID NOT KNOW I COULD RELATE TO A CHARACTER. LIKE WTH?? HE HAS SUCH A TRANSPARENT CLOSET LOL. And also speaking of Genzou I do have a few questions related to him

-Is Genzou fully blind? I don't think he is bc of his cane but I heard it's different in some countries so idk

-We learn Genzou is (supposedly) taking antidepressants in Arc 2. Is he clinically depressed? (According to the Visual Noval Database he is anyways but idk)

-HOW TF DOES HE DEAL WITH BEING CANNIBALIZED TWICE LIKE DAMN..I WOULD HAVE A BREAKDOWN NO MATTER WHO I'M WITH??

-Did Genzou's friends ever like assume that he was gay?? Or like did he tell anyone?? Or did he try his best to hide it lmao

-Did anyone think/know that Gen had a crush on Iggy??

-GENZOU WITHOUT HIS HAT <333

I love Genzou sm if you couldn't tell already /p

ARC 3 CONFUSED ME SM LOL. I thought that I had accidently switched routes (even though I hadn't even made my LI choice, I ofc didn't know this atm though) from Genzou to Orlam and I was fr so confused like waht. Also like I feel so bad for Orlam wth </3.

HUMAN JERRY.

OO ALSO SOME MORE THINGS

-During some parts (mostly during arcs 3/4) I HAD TO PLAY A RELAXING PLAYLISTS BECASE I FELT OVERWHELMED/ANXIOUS/IDEK?? AND AT SOME POINT I JS GAVE UP AND STATED PLAYING HYPERCORE LMAO

-I LOV ELOVE LOVE THE WAY THAT THE NEUTRAL ENDING COLLIDES(???) WITH OC LIEK WHATWHDWATDHFWHWFTHAFG. IDK BUT FOR ME IT MAKES ME FEEL LIEK IT'S THE MORE "CANON" ENDING EVEN THOUGH THERE IS (probably) NO CANON ENDING.

-I IMMEDIATELY WENT TO THE GALLERY LIEK OMG??

-Some of my favorite liens in the game were the homicidal gardener lines (both referring to Iggs and Gen), when Gen was arguing with Jerry, When Genzou was telling iggs during the Arc 5 Kiddie Cruise scene that it shoudn't be a choice like I WAS GONNA CHOOSE DONT JUMP JS TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS LOL

-I also relate a lot to Iggy in some forms

-GIDGET.

-I took a total of 260 screenshots of this game (as of now heheh)

UM YH THATS ALL SORRY IF IT'S HARD TO UNDERSTAND OR TOO ENERGETIC BUT I TRULY LOVE THIS GAME SM. Ima go replay OC again byes <3 :3 BEST REGARDS ILYSM /p

KDFJLADFA this message is so chaotic, i love it

first off, i'm really happy you like the game (and genzou) weep. thank you so much for all the kind words 😭💕 i'm also always super intrigued to see where/how ppl came into the game, so hearing you played T2A2G and OC first is very interesting to me lakdjfkdjfa

regarding your questions:

yes he is; i do think he sees a bit of light/shadow (which is different to an answer i gave some time ago, but i've been thinking about it since) but that's about it; it's a result of traumatic optic neuropathy

yes he is; he's been on meds and seeing a therapist for a while

i cannot answer this question LOL 🤣 i also don't know. i guess the only answer is that he has no choice

mmm... he never outright told anyone in the friend group. tbh he doesn't outright tell many people, mostly as he's just a bit of a private person in that regard and keeps to himself outside of attempting dating apps every now and then. i would not say he actively attempted to hide it though aside from around iggy. as for other people assuming i think it was something many of them did kinda realize but never said anything also

similar here, i think some of them kinda knew. i think gidget knew, even if they kinda ignored it, because it prompted their jealousy on a few occasions. i think orlam had a bit of a guess but it wasn't really confirmed until later

LDKAJFSLDKFA THAT'S NOT A QUESTION

LOL about the routes. indeed, if you don't realize that actually all the "routes" are mandatory parts of the story until the finale then it can be confusing if you thought you were going for a specific char early on or something 🤣 it's not like the games where you can pick your route and then the rest of the game is that route

hahaha yeah i wouldn't say there's a "canon" ending. for one, i feel like that would kinda defeat the point of having different possibilities to begin with. why make other choices if there's only ever one canon ending? i want people to be able to choose however they want the story to end. i mostly connected the neutral ending to OC as a sort of self-indulgent gift to myself, because i thought it would be very sweet if iggy would still have a chance to find companionship with one of his friends later on even if he chose to focus on himself first. like that it just keeps it open. i also just thought it'd be a fun easter egg to give ppl more incentive to at least try the neutral route as i figure most ppl would not choose that route as it's kinda short compared to the others and doesn't give as much closure to the other chars

260 SCREENSHOTS LDKJFASDLFA

sob thank you for this lovely message!! it was really fun answering your questions hahaha and i'm really glad you liked the game so much!! it means a lot!! 💕

[puppy-phum]

5 Songs Tag - QL Shows Edition

tagged by vi @feralmuskyscentedhoepran​​ ♥ thank you once more for thinking of me with these cool tag games ^^ 

When you get this, list 5 songs from the Asian QL media that you actually listen to.

🎶They do not have to be custom-made for the series. 🎶Non-western tracks only. Let's support Asian music and languages! 🎶Feel free to tag anyone who may be interested in participating. 🎶Add #5qls tag to your post for others to find the new favourites!

all of these will be from thai shows as i mostly pick up songs from those. i've also been watching mainly thai shows lately so i don't have much else to choose from, sorry...

I. ข้างกัน (City) - Fourth Nattawat and Gemini Norawit (Cover) My School President OST / Original by Three Man Down

To be honest, I love both the original version and this cover from MSP. The cover just holds double the meaning. It is both part of TinnGun’s story – their first meeting, their beginning, the reason why Tinn fell for Gun and why they fit together now – and PuenTalay's story in their own universe. It connects these two universes too, and that is why I’m so fond of it. Also, Gemini and Fourth make this song sound even softer than it already is. (My other favorites from MSP ost are Healing, Let Me Tell You, and the cover of Just Being Friendly, tho the whole soundtrack is just phenomenal.)

II. ใครคลั่งรักกว่ากัน (Madly in Love) - Jimmy Jitaraphol and Sea Tawinan Our Skyy 2 x Vice Versa OST

This song is so very PuenTalay but also so JimmySea. It’s extremely soft, romantic, a little playful, cute, and just loving all the way around. It compliments both of their voices and styles, and just makes me super happy. The lyrics are nice too. My favorite part is the one where Jimmy changes the way he sounds in the chorus (Idk what to call it sorry). It’s towards the end of the song. It’s just super cool somehow and very addicting.

III. คลาด (Over the Moon) - Khaotung Thanawat The Eclipse OST

Absolutely obsessed with this song. One of the best theme songs a BL has ever had, hands down. Truly lived up to the hype I got from hearing this song in the mock up trailer. I love Khaotung’s voice, the visuals in the MV, the lyrics, the instrumental. Overall just a perfect song for me specifically. (To be fair, The Eclipse has had two of my favorite soundtracks with this and their Our Skyy 2 song. Instant hits, no question.)

IV. ก่อน - Pchy Dew The Movie OST

I don’t think any other piece of media has ever made me feel the way Dew The Movie does. It was, and still is, simply everything to me. And this song. This song. I cannot put into words how perfect, how wonderful, how special this song is. I cry every time I hear it because it’s just so fully packed with all these feelings I cannot describe. I love it. I love it so much. And for the love of god, if you haven’t watched this movie, go do it right now. 

V. ร้อยล้านวิว (Million views) - Stamp Last Twilight Pilot Trailer 

I don’t know how well this song fits the criteria for this game but I found this lovely thing bc of the Last Twilight trailer and now I cannot get rid of it. It’s been on my playlist ever since this trailer dropped in November and not a day goes by that I don’t listen to it. It’s just so good and always brings me back to these moments. I keep hoping they would keep this song in the show itself or that they will get an OST that sounds similar, instrumental and lyrical wise. Bc my god did this song hit again once I stopped being lazy and looked up a translation for the lyrics. Now I’m crying even more bc of it thanks.

Bonus: พระเอกจำลอง by Getsunova from the Theory of Love OST. One of my eternal favorites. This song just is the show.  Special mentions: These are western songs so I didn’t want to include them to the list itself but I have to mention that Blueming brought me back to sød ven’s music bc they used the song hollow for the show (the beach scenes to be specific). I am forever grateful. Also, I love the songs both Not Me and Never Let Me Go used in their soundtracks, specifically this one and this one (both are instrumental as these shows have made me appreciate instrumentals a lot more too).

Tagging: @dimpledpran​​ @snimeat​​ @wanderlust-in-my-soul​​ @dragonsareawesome123​​ @oswlld​​ @leonpob​​ @stormyoceans​​ @ayan-sukkhapisit​​ @nongnaos​​ ♥ 

[rhaaclaws]

How I go about making [Original] character playlists

someone in a server asked for some help on making OC playlists and I made a think piece basically on how I do it and realized this could help people outside the server so 👍

This is a long post, 1.6k words so it's under a read more.

for character playlists, I make a Venn diagram of like

“Would this character listen to this song vs does this character Actually listen to this genre vs what story is this song telling”

If a song is important to a character/influenced a lot in their making absolutely add it in

that's very obvious but ummm let me use an example song

ok this one. I'm gonna be relating it to Nikki's playlist since it's on there

Would this character listen to this song? Nikki has a darker aesthetic with a lot of gothic influences, both in how they act, dress, and decorate their own house. in this case, Nikki Would listen to this song because it has that general 'dark' theme 

Does this character actually listen to this genre? while Nikki has been around for 500ish years, they do listen to modern music and also prefer longer pieces. Nikki does listen to gothic music as they frequent lots of clubs that would play stuff like this. Also, she's canonically a type o negative fan

What story is this song telling? obvs this depends on your interpretation of the song and how this could relate to the character since lalala whole analysis thing I'm not gonna get into. but its generally about a (vampire) woman on Halloween/eve and just how she is. also the whole "loving you was like loving the dead'' thing that relates to another character I'm not gonna mention

The last part that I forgot to talk about but kinda goes into the last one: could you relate this song to that character and have it make sense? both in how it sounds and in lyrics. bc I've found songs that lyrically fit someone Perfectly but then it sounds like shit or it just doesn't fit the character

like ex: Disturbia by Rhianna with Chimera

sound wise it's not like the rest of its playlist but I do have my reason for putting it on there: lyrics that they relate to and because her best friend listens to pop music and would show her this sort of stuff.

I try to have a general Sound for a playlist but obvs there are some outliers 👍

Unfortunately, some songs fit a character really well but they wouldn't exactly listen to it/does nottt fit the general theme of their playlist

example: ayumu's playlist. it has a lot of just Glam music and it features mostly van halen, judas priest, kiss, etc just stuff like that 

there's one song, somewhat damaged by Nine Inch Nails, that fits him exceptionally well in terms of lyrics that relate to his backstory and how it's a slow progression with a climax at the very end. but I don’t have it on there because sound wise it would stick out like a sore thumb

Of course, not everyone is gonna have One Set Genre and Sound

and some characters I focus more on different categories

Ex1: Dani's playlist is fully made up of what he listens to and I did that on purpose because she's a character who is veryyyy focused on music [specifically metal] and also one who Makes music in canon. so I focused more on the sound aspect and what he actually listens to but still tried to vaguely match the lyrics to her backstory [and unsurprisingly, a lot of them are about anger in one way or another. while Dani isn't an angry person anymore, she still goes back to it since its an outlet] 

Ex2: going back to Nikki's playlist, it's made up of 3 parts. 

In the first part, the thing I focused on the most was How people perceive her/how she wants to be perceived. so I tried to go for more 'seductive' songs and also tried to keep a general darker sound. 

The second part is stuff that relates to her past/highly personal aspects, which is why its more hidden within, and probably wouldn't notice it if you quickly scrolled; in this one, I stuck to lyrics [and it mostly lined up to what Nikki listens to since their top modern band is Depeche Mode all the way through and for good reason]. 

The third part is made up of instrumentals, mostly classical music bc well this is what Nikki listened to for most of her life, so I wanted to reflect on it a bit. so here my biggest focus was Sound and trying to fit her theme

Ex3: Andros' playlist

while I of course tried to have a general sound, I purely focused on lore. the order of each song on here is purposeful because it's meant to tell his entire life story within a playlist. kinda hard to talk about it minimally because the only other way is literally sending that director's cut document I have explaining each song and why it's on there in that placement

this was the hardest route imo for a character playlist since its Hard to find stuff that relates to specific experiences, but it's very worth it if you have a character you have a full-on story for 👍

now for actually finding music

One of the first things I figure out when making a character is "If they had a character theme what would it sound like" and/or what bands/genre do they listen to

When I have a theme I usually go off on what I already know and try to see "ok what artist comes up the most for this" and then go to their discography or similar bands [ill send my fav resource for it in a sec]

if you already have a stand name/namesake though, try to stick to that [you don’t have to but its a base you can use]

Here’s my thought process using all that to make a playlist, with our playlist of choice being Jing’s.

Their stand is called I Talk To The Wind, which is a song made by king crimson. so my first thoughts were "ok I’m gonna go through their songs and see what's similar/what I could put on this" and I really only felt like putting Moonchild up next. 

next, I was like “ok what's the theme of this character”. The first thing I came up about them was being able to see ghosts so "ok I’m gonna find songs that relate to death, ghosts, and just that general theme" So now I got came back haunted, ghosting, La Mer, I'm looking forward to joining you finally, Bela Lugosi's dead, Otherside, and (don't fear) the reaper. for sounds, I also went on this Halloween ambient noise playlist and added Laila pt1, black venom, and scary spirits

ok, what would they listen to? well, I know that their fav bands are King Crimson, but i also want to add in New Order and someee Bauhaus. so I put in ceremony, procession, burn, etc

and now lore stuff. how do these lyrics relate to their character/what would it mean to them? this usually requires some general lore in hand but you can just listen to songs and be like. hm. it'd be interesting to make this relate to a character so then you go off that. on this category I added: new feeling, macro, introspectre, i get wild/ wild gravity, and who is she ?

obvs your thought process depends on your character and the music you already know

I am insane because I am constantly playing music or otherwise I’d die so I have a lottttttt of music in my mind catalog basically so I usually go off on that

if you want to know more songs and such or know a character would listen to this genre that you're nottt super familiar with here's what i do

try searching for general terms so you pull up playlists on spotify

if you have a song already you can put that bad boy in something like spotalike or any alternative you like

thissss beautiful website https://everynoise.com/

every noise at once lets you scroll through basically every single genre ever and if you click on it you get bands that are part of that genre

something you can also do is use the find artist search engine and see what genres they belong to so you can find similar stuff

obvs theyre not exact butttttt

say i wanna look in the industrial rock genre. if i double-click on it i get to this page

you can use the scan button at the top to get a general sense of the artist [since you egt a sample] and you can go in deep into an artist's discography

i used that website a lotttttttt for tyhis one playlist that is purely sound based/what this character would listen to 100%

but yeah this is my general process on making a character playlist 👍 I’m veryyyy thorough with it and you can literally ask me about any song on any character playlist and i can tell you exactly why i put it on there

is it a little excessive? sure but this is my way of doing it

[iamfabiloz]

hi idk anything about transformers which i think means you should educate me . eye emoji

GOES NUTS i was abt to finish what i typed n posted but i lost my og draft ACK!! sorry this took a bit to answer i wanted to answer properly EEEE TY FOR ASKING I LOVE THE ROBOTS!!!!

BASICALLYY the transformers r alien robots from the planet cybertron!! they are fighting a civil war and eventually all the fighting wrecks the planet n the battle gets moved 2 earth!! there r two sides, the good guys called the autobots (led by a guy called optimus prime he is popular n beloved in the franchise n fandom) and the evil bad guys r called the Decepticons!! they are led by their evil leader Megatron!! OP and megs are sworn enemies n fight sm, the wars been going on for like over 4 million years (these guys live a LONGGG time) on earth, the autobots r nicer and treat the humans better than the cons anyways (tho no bot/con is rlly pure their like all war criminals LMAOOO) u would not BELIEVEE their mfing drama!! the pettyness of these mech mfs fr

ANYWAYZZ another rlly cool thing abt the series is the many canon queer bots!!! :D their mostly in the idw comics tho, such as the comic series 'more than meets than the eye' and lost light' which features multiple main characters who r gay and have a bunch of mlm relationships, as well as lost light having some t4t lesbians who r prominent EEE it so cool to see!! another example of transgenderformers is in the newest show 'transformers earthspark' which features one of the main characters who is nonbinary!! their sooo cool :]!!

now AHEM some recommendations r below for tf shows that I rlly like (NO PRESSURE TO WATCH/CONSUME ANY OF THESE THO!! i just rlly always like linking tf stuff it makes me happy :3 i wont mind at all if these just sit here foreva i just am like YAYY when i have to find linkies it is very fun!!)

the first tf show I ever watched is Transformers Prime!! I’d def start here bc it’s good for beginners new to the series, has lore, action, rlly good characters r plot!! Very dearly beloved by the fandom :] has three seasons n a movie! links to view it 4 free below:

YouTube Playlist with all eps + Movie

Seasons 2-3 on tubitv.com (Season 1 is on U.S Netflix if you have, idk why season 1 isn’t on tubi 🤔)

(ALSO THE ORIGINAL 80s G1 SHOW IS ON TUBI AS WELL, it is very funny i like it even tho i havent finished all the way EE)

If u want smth short I’d also recommend TRANSFORMERS EARTHSPARK!!! It’s ongoing tho, not fully finished like Prime, n is the newest tf show as of late, but it’s proven to be wonderful so far and I’ve actually gotten people who haven’t seen any tf stuff before to watch it and they’ve been fine and liked it HEHEEH :3 only 18 eps rn, here is my google drive w all the eps so far if u want!

other shows that I have links to watch to r:

Transformers Animated (3 seasons, 2d animated, more stylized, very fun)

Transformers Cyberverse (3 seasons and two 40 minute specials more kiddy and not as serious and a little shallower than the other shows, but I really enjoyed it, it was so so funny and it was my top tf thing for a while before Earthspark stole my heart 😨 cyberverse season 3 has no right to go so hard)

and the idw comics can be read on readcomiconline.li (tho beware of the weird ads n pop ups if u go on here, their rlly AAA so its best viewed w adblock) theres some mlp and transformers crossover comics on there also THEIR SO GOOD AND FUN i dont think u need any prior knowledge to enjoy them tbh their great

ty again for letting me explode abt robots

[mikeyfuckinway]

auuuhhg everyday of my life im like this guy and i are so incompatible. it would never work if we were to date and tbh i do not want to date him traditionally however i am deeply charmed by him and think hes one of the funniest loveliest and most interesting people on this planet earth i WANTED to listen to him talk about the beatles for an hour over lunch and he made me a beatles playlist after i made him a they might be giants playlist and hes so wonderful and i want him to be like. my best friend forever like i want him to be my guy like hes not my bestest estest friend someone else occupies that position and they always will its like that thing where u know someone for so long and your relationship has gone through so many weird phases that nothing is ever going to make you not want to be friends with them anymore like theyre my ultimate person who i will know and love forever. but like i want this other guy to be one of MY guys and. you know what i dont think i have a crush on him anymore. my friends and i were talking about love languages and i am severely physically affectionate and he is a germophobe he has ocd but like thats one of the things i like abt him bc he has things like i do like ticks and habits and we both habitually chew our nails and we are so similar but at the same time we are both so different and hes also really really straight and cis so like i dont think itd ever truly work but anyways we were talking abt love languages and hes like a big quality time guy and im very like i wanna do my things like i love you but if youre doing something im uninterested in i dont want to do it. like i have done things that i wouldnt otherwise do bc he was doing them but like it wasnt a "i dont want to do this" to a "i want to do this bc hes going to be there" it was more of a "im indifferent to this but it sounds fun im just not specifically interested" to a "i specifically would like to do this now bc it sounds fun and also he is going to be there" idk its still a thing where like. im just not a specifically quality time kind of person but since im a physical affection kind of person it can kind of come with it but i dunno oh well oh well. either way i dont think we would fulfill what the other wants out of a relationship idk maybe i would for him mostly but i dont think he would for me. unless our understanding of each other changes dramatically and he spends like a month and a half reading queer theory. then like maybe but still. my biggest problem is i need someone who will understand me and understand why i am the way i am genderwise and the thing is. the people who fully understand the way i am will also probably identify like me bc my identity is a product of my understanding of gender and society and that shit, not the other way around. i identify the way i do mostly bc of how my ideas about that shit have changed and the reading ive done about it. and like also the autism but he kind of has that too like not totally the same but like i said we have like some of the same little things but when it comes to like our ideas of ourselves i think we are very different i also have severely pathologized myself from a young age and also i hated my mom and wanted to kill myself and as far as im aware he was much more well adjusted as a child but i guess i dont really know. hm. but i met his parents when they came for family weekend and also he was like surprised when i said my family doesnt eat dinner together very often so they seem pretty like normal midwest american family and didnt seem like they had many familial issues like my household did which honestly is the least big deal thing to me. like if it was just that id be like whatever that doesnt matter but in addition to all the stuff yknow thats just one more thing that is like very extremely different about us and how we developed as people. like honestly its mostly the queer thing. and the germophobe thing like when we were talking abt it like he did say he would probably be very bad at it in a relationship like i oh wow i hit the character limit

[seiwas]

for the ask game! i’ve always loved how you write your stories, the way you set the proper tone and dialogue that the mood you’re intending for the story feels so palpable! so am mainly curious about 3, 46, 68 👀

nonie this is so sweet!! im so touched 🥺 thank you 🥺 this means a lot!! i've been trying to improve on each of those aspects lately by centering certain fics around them (ex. one fic will be more dialogue-heavy, another will focus on a specific tone, etc.). hearing that you notice em makes me so happy 🥺

putting this under the cut because it gets kinda long!

get to know your fic writer ask game!

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

omg 🥹 i usually decide one thing to focus on in a fic, whether it's a concept, a theme, an aspect (like dialogue etc.), and then i write an outline based off of that! 🥹 it doesn't have to be a super detailed one (though it helps), but having the scenes/events laid out in bullet points guides me in the process of writing (so that i don't forget certain things i initially wanted to include).

i also write chronologically. i know some people don't and others encourage writing scenes based off what comes to them in the moment, but i have yet to figure out how to do that 🥲 the ideas for scenes can come to me non-linearly but when i fully write them, i prefer to have it done in order just so i stay consistent with the details i put (bc i like to do callbacks/references most of the time!). i also think it's easier for me to follow the development of a character's feelings/thoughts when i write in order 🥹

i google stuff whenever i need to but typically just go with the flow of the writing session. i think my process is pretty straightforward that way! i'll usually take note of things that i want to reference at some point of the fics but that's pretty much it! i would say the way i approach writing fics also differs depending on its genre and content!

+++ the first line/hooks of my fics don't usually come to me first, but when they do, it helps guide the tone of what i write! the same goes for titles!

46. How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

very character and emotion driven i think! a lot of the 'plots' or 'concepts' of the fics i write are driven by the characters themselves/emotions i want to explore through their perspectives. i consider characterisation the most when i write and think a lot about how it ties into everything they do, which is why i feel like some of my fics tend to lean towards somewhat character studies sometimes. the way i write also focuses on feelings more than the external things happening to/around the characters, if that makes sense (like, i mostly describe how a character feels vs. what's happening to them).

i've been trying to play around with my style lately because i've been wanting to branch out! it's actually goal of mine to one day be able to write something that's a bit more creative and plot-driven 🥹

68. What, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

playlists + moodboards! my pre-writing ritual is to always listen to songs that inspire the fic! i usually draw inspo from there. i don't make moodboards all the time but they're helpful for longer fics! that's pretty much it though 🥺 sometimes i'll be inspired by a reel i see, or something that happened to me irl. other times it's also when i'm in the gym 😭 i try not to force the inspiration unless i have to do it for a request or smth! i also read a lot of fics!! it usually helps me get in the mood for the character if that makes sense.

[happy-and-gay-tortoise]

hey sorry to basically be on 'anon' bc i really can't send asks from my main account lol but ANYWAY i'm sorry it looks like someone made u feel like shit about posting in the crust tag but i wanted to mediate if thats ok. im sorry someone made u feel you couldnt post in there but at the same time i get it, if ur not reaaaally into crust then it's weird to establish yourself within such a politically vocal and tight knit community.

i know if you go to them with open hands about how into crust u are they would welcome you and give you recs and support you, you just have to show u are into crust. there are a lot of people that come into crust punk without knowing what it is except for 'fashion', and crust punks are actively trying to remove 'fashion' punks from crust, so it doesn't become corporatised like punk rock did.

so i think with ur jacket not having any crust and your outfit of the day posts being non-crust music and your playlist not having crust on it until i assume someone said some horrible shit i think that becomes a point where the fear is realised as 'oh my god, here's another fashion-only prson who doesn't know/doesn't want to know what this is' and it puts this very tight-knit community on edge

that didn't give any one the right to be horrible about it tho like there are better way to do these things but crust is a negative-type community that is very violent? maybe? in various ways. full of people with big problems with a real hatred of the world. which is where that reaction came from. i honestly wouldn't take it to heart too hard and i know ur only a kid so that'll be very hard. but if u ever want to get more into crust i promise ask people for recs and they will help you and be so kind.

it's just worth remembering, sub cultures don't like to be stepped on bc the world is hellbent on making it digestible and corporate for the masses so you gotta come at it honestly. ok anyway sorry for pseudo anon again and have a nice day

(The pseudo anon is ok dw)

I appreciate this ask a lot! Funny thing is I'm mostly just not rlly labeling myself as crust anymore bc I'm not the biggest fan of the music in general and I don't wanna use the tags that are not accurate to me! I respect the crust community a lot and yall are always welcome here, I'm just more personally into what a lot of my asks have called "easier to listen to punk" I love the noise not music movement and I do listen to some death metal n stuff, but ska and ska punk are more my cup of tea yk!

The crust community is also, as you said, very full of (most of the time justified) violence and hatred, and as someone that is like an eco-anarcist, optimist punk, and just trying to consume as much positive content/ neutral content as possible it tends to not be my vibe! I totally understand why yall have the community tho as someone who is that kind of angry a lot if the time, yall are the people that make change, and when it is needed I join you, but at least rn, I won't be engaging with that (also due to personal circumstances)!

Also I understand how it gave that impression, I want to make it clear I understand that crust punk was/is a movement centered around the music, the heavy emphasis on politics, and the anger towards the systems that push us down. "Crust pants/jackets" are just things to show that! I very clearly do not fit one of those criterias tho and that's ok! I don't have to use the label crust punk to still be someone who is a valid member of the punk subculture! Plus, yall don't need to know what exact labels I use anyway lol. You are a community that has been fucked with and torn apart for years, and it's not my place to call myself a part of that community when, frankly, I'm not! Again, I am in full support of the crust punk movement and stand by your sides, any crust punk that comes onto this page is fully welcomed with open arms! <3

[ladytauria]

8, 12 & 19! 🌸🐈‍⬛

💞 thank you for asking!!

8. Do you listen to music while you write? If so, share a song that’s been inspiring you lately.

Mostly I use ambient noise generators! Lately it’s been a black noise generator, but I also really like thunderstorms xD

The exception is smut. Sometimes I’ll use ambient noise, but I also have a playlist~ I have no clue if any of the songs would work for anyone else, or what it is about them that makes me add them. But there you go!

I usually put it on shuffle, but the song I end up starting with most of the time is this one.

12. Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?

So many!!!

One that’s cropped up multiple times in my ideas is Identity Porn, in a couple different iterations. (There’s the Stray & Red Hood fic I’ve talked about before, which is fully outlined whenever my brain decides to cooperate. There’s another in which Tim takes an alternate path to becoming a vigilante; a few Jason-meets-Caroline Hill fics bc I eat those up; etc.)

I also have abt 3 different Accidental Child Acquisition fics, including one that I have. Thoughts about. These Thoughts are unfortunately too vague to actually make something out of (despite the 3-4k words I wrote for it) tho so it’s probs going to keep sitting in the idea cellar.

Soulmates & Urban Fantasy (vampires; werewolves; & selkies so far) also crop up a bit xD

Anyway! Many tropes, but very little brain with which to write them—though I am doing my best ajskfltlt

19. Who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? Why?

Ngl, I have only ever been in one fandom where I felt like I really had a handle on a specific character’s voice/characterization, & outside of that—

I dunno. I find all of them hard. But the reason I find the one character’s voice easier is because… I was in that fandom for like. 6 years, & p consistently producing fic, a lot of which was in his pov. PLUS I had a friend who loved him and loved talking analysis/characterization, so that helped a lot! Confidence came from practice, so maybe if I keep writing & reading meta & comics & such I’ll feel better about it xD

And then for easiest… I mean. Most of my fics are Jaytim, even in my drafts, & I end up defaulting to Jason’s pov a lot, so. I guess I’ll say him xD

[ behind the fic ]

[sevlawless]

Ok then top 5 versions of Arabella!!!

PLSKSKSBDBDNDM thank u for actually sending this ur so real <3

under the cut because this is literally insane who reuses an oc this much .. but u could also ask WHY she fits SO well in everything i stick her in

ask me my top 5 anything!

1. infamous!arabella - LIKE ?????? i've said it before on here but i genuinely do feel like arabella was meant to be in this if she fits SO WELL it's baffling and in my mind arabella has ALWAYS wanted to be a musician so ofc i would put in here yk ? she fits perfectly and i am so brainrotted about infamous and this version of arabella i feel like in some if's i have to like . tone her down see twc but for this one she can fully be what i always imagined her being and it is SO FUN to explore that 🥺

2. twc!arabella - mostly because as much as i hate it arabella wouldn't exist without twc . AND I HAD HER ROMANCING ADAM AT FIRST CAN U BELIEVE ?? it still boggles my mind as if her n morgan aren't soulmates but anyways <3 and because the bobby n arabella lore in my brain is TOO MUCH i have a whole playlist for them i have wips abt them collecting dust ! anyways she is like ... a pg 13 version of herself in twc i feel LMFAO i can't have her be as mean n funny as she is but that is her origin story sadly i owe m*shka something ig (also arabella would never in her life stay in wayhaven she would have bolted as soon as ub came into her office let's be real and she would have NEVER been promoted to detective)

3. bodycount!arabella - this was before i stuck her in litg (love island the game) and just didn't feel like making a new oc but she adapted ! if there is one thing abt arabella she will have a dead end job she does not care abt and will desperately try to get out of lol and you know she would be the BEST reality show contestant bc of how messy n funny n flirty she is! people would love to hate her and vice versa! is she coping with all the murder? hell no but we will persevere LMFAO

4. when twilight strikes!arabella - this is partly because her n rylan are a match made in heaven and i love their interactions <3 also the supernatural aspect this girl can NEVER stay away from vamps! yk she has a motorcycle also LMFAO this version of arabella is what i desperately wanted for twc but u know that shit always falls short.

5. chop shop!arabella - THIS IS ONLY IN THE LAST SLOT BC THERE R ONLY LIKE 2 CHAPTERS OUT LMFAO BUT JUST KNOW I LOVE CHOP SHOP and again .. arabella with a dead end job that she can't escape >>>>> yes she punched maz in the face. yes she tried escaping through the window. yes she got so drunk she threw up on four's shoes. she is a MESS but that is fine! this version of her is also interesting bc she actually has a good relationship with her mom and you know she can't be arabella without mommy issues but it works! and it's actually refreshing LMFAO

honorable mention to litg!arabella because that was when i REALLY started having prophetic visions abt her being a singer and working that into her lore and it's not an if so </3

[quolant]

#op uR TAGS???#ITS LIKE THE PROLOGUE TO A SMALLVILLE EPISODE 😭😭#as soon as clark shakes his hand the theme song appears

omg yes, you’re right. after bruce doesn’t know what to do with this smiley guy who like. makes an attempt to introduce him to his friends and takes him to his favorite coffeeshop hangout and is also secretly a sarcastic shit who can match bruce word for word when he tries to snark about corn to clark and clark snarks right back. he has many Feelings (TM). he tries to half heartedly shares the playlist on his mp3 player w clark (it’s basically just like grunge, which clark is like ??? over mostly) in an attempt to “bond” because bruce.exe is not really working and also bruce was fully intending to listen to nirvana and green day the whole summer not bond and maybe have a crush on human sunshine dude who also can throw tractors and run really fast. lex shows up and bruce throws hands bc they know each other from rich person thing xyz when bruce was a little kid and lex was like.. a tween and it didn’t go well and bruce holds grudges forever. insert some mystery w/ meteor rocks here where bruce finds a kindred spirit w/ chloe and her freakishly good investigative skills and doesn’t bat at eye at all the weird shit in smallville but is kind of like ??? about the kents. i maintain that he would 100 percent figure out clark’s powers like, two weeks into being at the kents, like, “wow, clark, how does anyone believe your dumb ass when you tell them your tractor ACCIDENTALLY landed in the next field ACCIDENTALLY” “it’s worked before” “jesus christ”

smallville clark and battinson bruce in the 00s is the superbat content i didnt know i needed lol

[extravaguk]

sex education 2.0

pairing: college!au, jungkook x reader

summary: "Are you calling me boring?" Jungkook gasps dramatically, looking at you dumbfounded and visibly offended. You roll your eyes, taking a napkin and leaning forward to wipe the crumbs of garlic bread on his lips.

"First of all, don't talk with your mouth full, you pig. Second of all," you stop to take a sip of your coke, aware of Jungkook's expectant eyes on you. "A little, yeah." 

wordcount: 9k

genre: smut - angst(? not rlly - fluff, like tons bc im a slut for fluff

rated: m (duh!2.0)

warnings: alcohol and weed consumption, just jk and tae being bros having bro convos, switch!reader, switch!jk, but mostly dom!jk, dirty talk, glimpses of poorly written bdsm, reader being a jealous and ‘insecure little bitch’ (her words, not mine),slapping (dont worry i tried to make it funny), how i met your mother spoilers (sorry im a gemini i spoil shit), spanking, degradation kink, back at it again with the spit kink, slight anal play, beware!of jungkook being a sweetheart, a lil mean at the end but a sweetheart nontheless.

read sex education here!

Three months of being in an actual commitment with Jeon Jungkook, your brother's partner in crime since the young age of five and, therefore, a common denominator throughout your childhood and teenage years, has proven to you a few things you never knew you would discover about the boy himself: Jeon Jungkook is definitely not what you thought him to be. 

You thought growing up with him would've been enough telltale about everything that made Jungkook be, well, Jungkook. He wasn't as immature as you had believed prior to the beginning of your relationship, he was funnier than you remembered -although maybe you found him funnier now that Taehyung wasn't in the picture to interfere with infantile inside jokes that you never were able to grasp-, and smarter than he had ever let you known before. Although you're sure the main reason his grades had started to improve was solely you and the way you rewarded him by opening your legs everytime he passed an exam. 

But above all, if there was something that had truly surprised you about Jeon Jungkook was the fact that he was truly an absolutely and undeniably softie.  

You loved it. Loved the random scribbled love notes he sometimes left in your backpack before kissing you goodbye to leave for his own class, loved the Spotify playlists he made exclusively just for you -with genres that varied between sappy and romantic and wanting to tear your 'wet ass pussy' in two-, loved the late night texts filled with emojis telling you how much he missed you when both of you were too busy doing assignments and studying to see each other -even if it hadn't even been 48 hours since you last saw each other-. You loved how careful and sweet and thoughtful he was. You really did. 

But.

"Are you calling me boring?" Jungkook gasps dramatically, looking at you dumbfounded and visibly offended. You roll your eyes, taking a napkin and leaning forward to wipe the crumbs of garlic bread on his lips.

"First of all, don't talk with your mouth full, you pig. Second of all," you stop to take a sip of your coke, aware of Jungkook's expectant eyes on you. "A little, yeah." His mouth falls open and you supress a laugh. You really shouldn't be enjoying this so much, but there's something about Jungkook's reaction to his ego being bruised and that terribly adorable pout on his face that just makes your insides tingle with joy. 

"What do you mean? I've had plenty of girls in bed before you, like a whole lot, and none of them have ever called me boring! They loved this adventurous and fun dick, alright? Why do you think-" you raise a brow, scrutinizingly. It still amazes you how with just a simple expression and no words needed, you can make all color from Jungkook's face banish and how quick he is to reach for your hand across his bed. "But I only love youuuu, and you're the best thing that has ever happened to me and my dick like, baby, have I mentioned how head over heels I'm for you?"

"Only like five times today." rolling your eyes again, you pull your hand from his to toy with the peperoni piece on your slice of pizza. Jungkook swallows the lump in his throat, he was starting to get truly concerned now. You couldn't possibly...?

"Are you not satisfied? I mean, do I not make you feel good or...?" there's clear worry in his voice and that makes you meet his eyes, shaking your head hurriedly. Now it's you who take his hand in yours.  

"No! No, babe. I love sex with you! I love everything you do to me, I love how you treat me, I love how you make me feel. I'm a hundred percent satisfied, I swear, It's just..." you sigh, dropping your gaze to rub slow and reassuring circles to the ink adorning his skin. "All I'm saying is... I may also want to experience what all those girls have experienced with you, y'know... the not so vanilla stuff. But you always seem to be scared to try new things with me, and I don't know if it's because of m-"

"Baby," Jungkooks soft voice calls out to you, removing the pizza box in between the two of you to slide closer to you on the mattress. He craddles your face with his fingers, tilting your chin up to make eye contact with you. "_____, don't say that. I just don't ever want to cross any boundaries. I don't want to hurt you or do anything you might not like or regret later, you know that, right?" placing a small kiss on your lips, you hum in content nodding your head yes.

"I know that." you pull him for another brief kiss, oddly not caring about the faint taste of garlic and spice on them because that's what love will do to you. "But what if I do want you to hurt me? What if I want you to fuck my mouth with no mercy until I cry and slap my face after you've cum all over it while you call me a slut?" you pause, eyes meeting his through your eyelashes. "Or viceversa."

It's not that Jungkook is afraid. Because Jungkook is afraid of nothing in this world. He will murder any spider in his way, he will throw a punch to anyone who denies mint chocolate ice cream as the superior ice cream flavour -and he knows that means he will have to literally fight like the entire population on planet earth-, and he will Rey Mysterio you if you ever discredit or deny his incredible skills playing Overwatch.

Jeon Jungkook prides himself in being fearless in every aspect of his life. Except when it comes to you. 

So yeah, maybe he was a little afraid. Because hearing you use the words 'choke', 'slap' and 'slut' in the same sentence did things to him that he didn't deem possible considering none of you were newbies anymore to intimicy. You have been together for three months, for God's sake, but you still made his cock twitch like the first day and he's sure in twenty years you'll have the exact same effect on him.

He didn't want his most primal instincts to overpower the respect and love he'd harboured for you since you were kids because at the end of the day, one, you were still his best friend's little sister, two, he appreciated you too much to ever cross any lines, and three, as cliché as it sounded, you were nothing compared to the girls he had been with previously. What he feels towards you cannot be compared to anything he had experienced before. 

And fuck, was he in a predicament. Because you made him weak in his knees for you and you were not even aware of it. You were not aware of how badly he has wanted to explore and take things way further, way out of both his and your comfort zones. But he's terrified. He's terrified because all he wants is to to take care of you and what if he fails at the one thing he's swore to himself? What if he lets the darkest side of him consume him and at the same time consume you? What if he does actually hurt you, not just psichologically but also physically?

He would never be able to forgive himself. And neither could Taehyung.

And that, was also tormenting him.

Taehyung seemed fine with the two of you dating -or at least that blow to Jungkook's face seemed to ease things between them-, but Jungkook is not dumb and has felt his best friend slowly distancing himself. 

Sure, they were still best friends and will ever will. Taehyung is loyal to Jungkook and Jungkook is loyal to Taehyung. Has been that way since they were five and that will not change just because Jungkook's caught feelings for his little sister.

But the phonecalls were not as often and not as long as they used to be; in rare occasions Jungkook could sense a certain type of awkwardness between them that really had never happened in their friendship, and sometimes Taehyung's jokes seemed to hold more truth than lightheartedness. 

And to top it all off, Jungkook's dilemma regarding you was eating him alive and, usually he would turn to Taehyung for girl advice, only to later realize he was also frightened of doing that. 

But a Friday night at 2 a.m, Jungkook decides he can't take it anymore. 

"Sup, man." Taehyung's voice answers Jungkook's phone call on the second ring, like he always does. 

"Hey, bro." Jungkook clears his voice, suddenly feeling self conscious. "Are you busy?"

"I don't know," his friend seems to be chewing on what Jungkook bets is red Skittles -yes, only the red ones- because he just knows him too well. "Are you busy still fucking my little sister?" 

Taehyung chuckles at his own joke, but Jungkook doesn't. He knows there's no malice, but he can't help to think there might be. He settles for a sigh. "Yeah." he can hear some shuffling on the other side and the clicking of a computer mouse. Jungkook would also bet he was playing Among Us and he would lie if he said he wasn’t disappointed he hadn't called him to play with him. "Y'know what, it's not even important, I'll just call y-"

"Come on, man. You haven't even laughed at that and you usually laugh at everything I say even when no one else does." Taehyung swirls in his chair, his attention fully focused on his best friend. "Seriously, what's bothering you." Jungkook takes a deep breath, rubbing the side of his face. 

"It's about _____."

"_____? As in, my little sister? Who you're fucking?"  

"Tae, dude-"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Go on." Taehyung stiffles a laugh and waits patiently for Jungkook to continue.

"She um... Fuck, I hope this isn't weird, dude. I really do. She wants to like... rough it up in the bedroom, I guess? And I just... I don’t know... I'm terrified dude." There's silence filling the gap between Taehyung and Jungkook and Jungkook almost feels like throwing up. 

"You're coming to me for sex advice... about my little sister?"

"I know, dude but... Who else I'm supossed to talk to? Jimin? Hoseok?" Jungkook sits up on his bed, an ugly knot beginning to form in his stomach. "I mean, you're my best friend," Jungkook swallows again, voice cracking. "...right?"

It's Taehyung's turn to sigh after a few seconds before he replies. "Forever and always, bro." His tone settles Jungkook's uneasiness. There's nothing but honesty in it. "Listen, Guk. I really don't know what kind of advice to give you because, literally, ew. But I do know my sister, and if that's what she wants and she's communicated with you about it, it’s because she trusts you. And I trust you more than anyone in my life. So there you go, man."

Relief washes all over Jungkook's body and he lays back on the bed again, heart not beating as hard as it was a few seconds ago. 

"Thanks, dude." Jungkook smiles. "Sorry for calling you so late."

"No problem, bro." Taehyung smiles as well, swirling his chair back to his computer screen. A weight of his own being lifted. "Among Us next time?"

"Yeah, I'll let you know. Good night, bro."  

Taehyung calls Jungkook's name before he can hang up. "Hey, man?"

"Yeah, man?"

There's a pause between them and then Taehyung speaks. "I love you, man."

Jungkook supresses the threat of tears about to spill because he knows Taehyung would try to bruise his other other eyebrow if he ever found out. Or hug him to death. Or both.

"I love you too, bro."

"This reminds me of the first time you gave me a blowjob." Jungkook chuckles, watching you get down on your knees between his spread thighs, make up free and sporting a similar low messy bun as that time he's mentioning, except this time you're wearing one of his hoodies engulfing your smaller frame. Proof that this time around, you're exclusively his and no one else’s.

"You mean the blowjob of your life." you giggle as you reach out to pull down his sweatpants, deligthed to see he decided on not wearing any underwear. Your spit on the back of your hand and immediately wrap it around the base of his rock hard cock while his own darts out to push the strands falling down your face behind your ear, heart eyes emoji looking down at you looking up at him. 

Your tongue swirls around the tip timidly, swallowing the drop of precum oozing as he sighs heavily and lovingly. "Every blowjob you give me is the blowjob of my life." he unties your hair from the band holding it together because he prefers his fingers to be the hair tie, prefers to be the one to guide the bobbing of your head up and down his dick. 

You hum in appreciation against him, cherry balmed lips wrapping fully around the head of his cock and he hums back. "Love seeing you on your knees for me with your pretty mouth stuffed, fuck." You take him deeper, closing your eyes. 

Your hand moving accordingly to your mouth and your panties already wet, clinging to your folds. It's really not your fault Jungkook is the most delicious eye candy on earth and how fast can the mere sight of him make your pussy lips quiver. You slurp around the head obscenely , a moan of yours mixing with a moan of his. "Hands on your back." 

You obligue, removing your hands and growing excited at the dominating low tone his voice exerts. The grip he has on your hair tightens and controls your motions, pushing you further down his dripping shaft until your nose hits his pubic bone. He holds you there, his own eyes closing shut and his dick twitching insde your mouth. A thrust of his hips make you gag and has one of your hands flying to tap his leg two times, letting him know you were in need for air. 

He releases you, pulling you back until his cock is pulsating in front of you. He looks down at you, both breathless but the difference is you look so messy. Eyes watery, chest moving heavily and saliva leaking from your lips. 

Yeah, there was a reason Jungkook hasn't been like this with you before. The sight of you submitting completely and looking so nasty was too much for him to handle. He might never want to see you any other way than this. 

"Isn't this what you wanted, huh?" the free hand that had been supporting his weight on the matress grasps your face harshly, making you lock eyes with him.

 "I thought you wanted me to choke you with my cock like a little whore?" you nod your head eagerly, unable to form words. Your pussy throbs, prompting you to rub your thighs to get some sort of relief as his thumb smears the spit adorning your lips. You're quick to envelop it in the warmth of your mouth, an involuntary moan leaving your throat. "Such a pretty slut," he lets his cock slap against your cheek, removing his thumb to move his hand back to his previous position. "Open again."

You do, his length entering your mouth again -that you gladly accept- and then he's shoving you down by your hair. "Shit, gonna fuck your mouth so good..." 

And he does, not holding back anymore, his hand thrusting your head along his shaft until your throat tightens around him repeteadly, struggling for breath. But you take it, you take the aggresiveness and the degradation because fuck, you've been waiting for so long to know what this feels like. To have Jungkook be mean and have this type of control and power over you and you're enjoying it a bit too much. 

"F-fuck, I'm gonna cum, leave your mouth open." he releases on your tongue, not able to look away from the image of you with tears falling down your eyes and mouth drenched with him and your spit, some of his cum staining down your chin and the corners of your lips that he gathers with his thumb and pushes back into your mouth. He groans, watching you swallow all of it like a good girl, your tongue grazing around his digit for the remainings, gaze not leaving his. "Let me grab my phone real quick, I need to take a picture of this."

You were definitely not the jealous type.  

You prided yourself on being able to recognize when your behaviours were due to your own insecurities and removing all sorts of feelings of uncertainty from your mind. You never liked toxic patterns or the glamorization of them and your relationship with Jungkook was proof. You knew relationships were supossed to be based on blind trust and faith in your partner and yours definitely reciprocated in the same way. 

"So can anybody tell me why Eunha is basically all over my boyfriend right now?" you wish you could blame your state on Hoseok's weed, who's sitting on the left side of the couch right next to you at the frat party. You really wish you could have an explanation for the way your heart tugged in such a weird way and your stomach swirled dangerously until almost making you nauseous. You really tried to blame your overthinking on the joint you had just passed to your friend. 

You knew it was bound to happen someday, especially considering Jungkook had always been a ladies' man and the kind of attraction from both men and women he was able to manifest, willing or unwillingly. You just never thought it would happen so soon and in such way that made you clench your fists so tight and your nails dig into the palm of your hands so painfully. 

"I mean, they did have like a long fling a few years ago, didn't they?" Seulgi, sitting on your right, chimes in. 

That was true. Longer than most flings Jungkook ever had before you.  

"Yeah, before she dumped him." Hoseok adds.

Your eye twitches and your jaw contracts. Because that, was also true, and it was mostly what was bothering you so much. 

Had it been Jungkook the one to move away from his situationship with Eunha like with most girls, you wouldn't have such a problem with the way she's shamelessly leaning towards him from across the room. Or the way she's twirling a strand of her hair between one of her fingers while battling her lashes. Or the way she's hysterically laughing at whatever he was saying, because your boyfriend was funny, but he was not that funny. 

You were not the jealous type, and Jungkook definitely wasn't giving you any reason to be, because as coquettish as the blonde was being or as provocatively as she was pushing her tits into his arm, he politely keeps his distance and tries to also engage with Jimin in conversation, leaving her pouting. But that wasn't enough to not make you start seriously questioning your feminist ethics right now. 

"Wait, you're not jealous, are you?" Seulgi turns to you, offering you the joint -how long had you been focusing your attention on Jungkook and Eunha to not realize it was your turn again to smoke?-. You take it, hesitating between answering right away or taking a hit before doing that. You were never a good liar. You look between your two friends who are looking back at you with their eyebrows raised.

"I-" you close your mouth and run your fingers through your hair. "Maybe? I don't know what I'm feeling and I don't like it one bit." 

"Aw, babe." Seulgi squeezes your knee, eyes showing you sympathy. "Jealousy is a natural response to any relationship."

"I know..." you take the joint in your hand, taking a long drag before letting the smoke out. "I just don't want to sound like an insecure little bitch!" you whine. "I don't want to be like 'Oh, why would Jeon Jungkook, a God of the Olympus, dare give his attention to a peasant as unworthy as me!?' Like no, he's just a man. A little less mediocre than most but a man nontheless. I'm not going to doubt myself or other women just because he's more beautiful than most, and hotter, and funnier and has a massive co-" you notice you're getting carried away by the look of disgust in Hoseok's face and Seulgi trying to hold back a laugh. 

"Anyways, he's lucky to have me. We're both lucky to have each other but sometimes I feel like I might be the luckiest out of the two. And seeing Eunha looking so pretty and throwing herself at him is triggering me because..." you pause to take a deep breath and lounch back on the couch. "What if he realizes one day that I'm luckier than he is and he could be luckier with someone else?"

There's, ironically, a long silence. Ironically because the sound of Travis Scott making the walls tremble is anything but, until Hoseok speaks.

"I think you feel that way because you still haven't seen how that boy looks at you, _____." and then he motions to the spot from across the room you had been observing for too long, the spot where Jungkook is now glancing at you after noticing your detectable distress, with a frown on his features. 

'You okay?' he mouthes, his fist raising in the air in a thumbs up, questioningly.  

Your heart jerks, and not out of bitterness or envy caused by a girl trying to get your boyfriend's attention. Because his attention is always entirely on you, no matter how many feet are separating the two of you. 

'Yes' you mouth back, with a nod of your head and an encouraging smile that has formed itself on your face. He beams as well at you. Mouthes an 'I love you' and puckers his lips in a flying kiss that makes you giggle. You mimic him, your heart tight against your chest. 

Hoseok is right. You have nothing to worry about.

Jungkook is in love with you. Sometimes, he thinks, he's too in love with you.

"Can't believe I'm letting you do this."

"Can't believe you're such a pussy."

Jungkook huffs in annoyance. He would smack your ass right now if his hands weren't restricted by a scarf of yours he had never seen before to your bedpost. He would also send you a mean look if his eyes weren't covered by the only tie he owned and had so generously lent to you. 

When you mentioned you wanted to try this, he expected you to be in this position. Not the other way around.

He's sprawled on your bed, only his boxers covering him as your legs straddle his waist and you tighten the hold of the scarf around his wrists sternly. He winces and manages an 'Hey!' He knows you're only wearing your panties because he can't feel anything else and he's felt one of your naked tits brushing  his face as you tied him up. He also tried to catch one of your nipples in his mouth as a form of punishment, to no use because you swiftly backed away from his attempt. 

"I've never been a bottom before, this is new for me." he says. He really doesn't mind any of this. He's just not used to it. He knows he'd be lying if he said it didn't turn him on a little bit, even if he'd rather be the one to have you completely unmoving and naked beneath him. Especially now that you're skimming your nails up and down his torso.

"Mm, good to know." your lips follow the path your fingers created, from the center of his chest up, moving steadily and tracing soft kisses over his flesh. 

"Don't worry. I'll be gentle." you croon, dragging your tongue from the pulse of his neck to his earlobe, nails scraping lightly over his left nipple. Jungkook shudders, air sucked in through his teeth as his mouth opens on its own. Taking advantage of this, you place a kiss on the corner of his lips before slipping your tongue inside. 

He answers simultaniously, his own tangling with yours, swallowing each other's moans. Your hips set a slow peace, clothed cad core griding over the length poking between your thighs. His hips move unvoluntarily, trying to find some sort of friction to make up for the fact that his hands are unavailable to knead your ass and pull you closer, if that was even possible.

You separate from him, raising on your knees. Jungkook whines in protest, hips buckling up from the mattress to try to meet yours again.

"Jungkook, I'm serious, stay still!" 

"I take it back." his voice shaky and hands straining against the tight hold the scarf you tied around has on them. "I don't like this. Untie me so I can fuck you, babe." he complains. You sit on his tiny waist, your thighs trying to stop his movements. 

You take a moment to assess him. He looks too beautiful for his own good: hair courtaning his forehead, biceps bulging and abs flexing. You can't see his eyes but you know they might be glassy. You bite your lip to supress a whine of delight. You almost consider doing as he says. Almost. 

But you mantain your ground. Your jealousy from the other night had been crawling slowly from within these past few days and since you couldn't take it out on Jungkook any other way because he really wasn't to blame, you figured you'd try something new to punish him and let some of your supressed anger vanish. 

Twisting your body back to pull down his boxers, not all the way, just enough to have his cock springing free from the confines of the fabric and slapping against your asscheeks.

"Has toxic masculinity seriously polluted your brain so much you can't take this seriously?" you fall forward, one of your hands balancing you beside his head as the other wraps around his neck, a tentative hold not yet to constrict his breathing. 

He gulps, his body's tense and his Adam's apple is prominent under your touch. All he can see is black but he'd do anything to watch your pretty tits bouncing in front of his face. "I don't like this conversation either." he pouts.

"Then why are you so hard?" you grin, holding yourself back from laughing as he hesitates for an answer. You lean closer, mouth against his ear as you whisper. "I'm so wet right now, I could take you just like this. No lubrication at all and my pussy would just swallow your dick." Feeling his girth still between your ass flutter, clearly affected by the sultry tone of your voice. You remove your hand from his neck seeing as he has stopped moving obediently. Reaching back, you slide your panties to the side and align your entrance to the head of his leaking cock. 

"Fuck, baby, please~" Jungkook's pleads fills the air, hips desperately back in motion and sliding just a few inches inside your drenched heat. The warmth envoles him instantly, your pussy pulsates around him and neither of you can't help the in synch groans tearing from your throats. 

"Just the tip" you lick your lips, your voice betraying you as you resist the urge to glide the rest of his lenght inside your quivering core.

"Just the tip, my ass." 

Out of sudden, Jungkook is swiftly lifting his hips from the matress, sinking all the way in. You cry as your body jumps forward, face hidden in the juncture of Jungkook's sweaty neck. His thick cock stretches you out as nice and deep and perfectly as he always does. You mewl. This was not supossed to happen at all.  

"See? This is what you really wanted." you can hear the chuckle threatening to spill from his lips, anger starting to boil inside of you again. 

Regaining a little bit of your lost control, you lift yourself on your trembling knees and sit back again, the tip of his dick hitting your cervix. You groan in unision, placing your hands on the hard planes of his chest and steadying yourself to try to reclaim your dominance. Finding it troublesome, because Jungook is set on having it his own way, his thrusts meeting yours in perfect synch.

You really shouldn't feel your climax approaching so soon but somehow battling for control while bickering with Jungkook is about to send you over the edge and that's making you even more annoyed.

"I swear to God, Jungkook. If you don't stop moving and shut the fuck up..." your murmur through gritted teeth, jaw slackened and eyes fluttering shut.  

"What?" he spats, breathing rugged and voice coarse. "If I don't shut up, you'll wha-"

The sound of a sharp smack echoes inside your room and Jungkook's movements freeze on the spot. His head is turned to the side from the impact, and a faint print of your fingers is adorning his  already stinging cheek. None of you mutter anything for a few seconds, until concerned words start to rush out of you.

"Ohmygod, Jungkook, I-"

"Did you just slap me?" Jungkook is unmoving, his mouth agape and you can picture the incredulous expression his eyes might be oozing. "Baby, what the fuck?!" You're mortified. Your hands cover your mouth and your eyes, wide open, stare down at him although he can't stare at you back.

"Babe, I don't know why I did that, you wouldn't stop talking and I know that's not an excuse but it-" 

"It was fucking hot." a breathy laugh in disbelief leaves his chest. Your forehead creases, hands falling down to your chest to try to steady your incessant heartbeat. His tongue darts between his pearly teeth, a smug smirk on his features. An eyebrow of yours raises as you size him up, the realization that his body is completely motionless now hitting you.

Lurging forward, you pinch his jaw between your fingers, your hips carry on their grinding on their own accord. He releases a raspy moan, your walls clenching around him as another hit strikes his cheek, softer this time. 

"You gonna be good to me?" you mutter against his lips. He nods slowly, his mouth salivating as your hips swirl on top of him. He blindly tries to reattach his mouth to yours, but you dodge him, going for the skin of his clavicle instead. "Can I fuck you slow like this until you're filling me with your cum?" He squirms when he feels you sucking a pretty purple bruise on his flesh, your cunt dropping all the way down his cock, leisurly grinding against his pelvic bone, looking yourself to find some relief to your clit. 

"Ah!" his head tilts back, back slighlt arching as you soothe the mark on his neck with your tongue. "That m-might be s-sooner than you think, babe" he admits timorously, swallowing the lump in his throat, the veins on his neck on full display. 

You sigh in content because, thankfully your orgasm is also closer than he thinks it is. "M-me too-" you gasp, your face buried on his shoulder, letting your fingers brush his ebony hair, nails gently scrapping his scalp as you keep the tortuous movements of your hips against his, his girth hitting that spot just right everytime until you feel the knot in your tummy finally snapping. "C-cum, J-Jungkook, I-m-"

Jungkook doesn't need to be told twice because he has been holding back from it for a while now, not really willing to admit he was enjoying this as much as he was. With a thrust of his own fused with the way your pussy is tightening around him it's enough to send him over the edge, an unpredicted cry emanating from his vocal chords harmonizing with your own, his whole body tensing as your walls milk every single drop of his cum. 

For several minutes you stay just like that. Jungkook's hands still tied, blindfold still on, his mouth still agape as his chest rises and falls until his breathing becomes steady again. And you, on top, your fingers tangled in his dark locks, your breath fanning against his neck and his release dripping down your thighs. You stay like that until your body starts shaking with uncontrollable laughter. 

Jungkook tilts his head towards yours, eyebrows furrowing and eyes still covered.

"What was that noise?" you manage through your giggle fit. "'Aaah!'" You've never made a noise like that before, I can't- it was so funn-"

Even while still being strained and blindfolded and with you making fun of him, a loopsided goofy smirk starts making an appearence on Jungkook's features. 

Fancy dinner parties were never your thing. 

Wearing heels that were too high -specifically to try to match Jungkook's height-, a new expensive dress that you were surely going to return as soon as the event was over because you definitely could not afford it and socializing with Jungkook's clique was definitely not the way you envisioned your Saturday night going. 

At least Jungkook had barely been able to keep his hands for himself at the sight of you wrapped in emerald green silk and lace. But even that couldn't make you feel less uncomfortable and out of place. 

Yugyeom, one of Jungkook's friends, had definitely more money than your boyfriend had previously let you know. Apparently, being a 'lil rich' as Jungkook had mentioned meant booking a luxurious restaurant to hold a dinner party with at least fifty people who looked just as 'lil rich' as Yugyeom's Gucci tuxedo.  

'It'll be alright babe. Yugyeom always insists on celebrating his birthday like it's an Oscar after party. We'll just eat some of that disgusting caviar and then head home to watch Netflix, I swear'. 

And yes, caviar was gross, but so was the fact that Jungkook had failed to mention a certain someone would also be making an appearence. 

After introducing you to a few of his friends and realizing that Mingyu's frendliness and amiability helped you feel more relaxed, he had excused himself to the bathroom, leaving you and his friend to entangle in a heated conversation about How I Met Your Mother's finale season. 

You were thankful for Mingyu's humble nature and easygoing talk for a few minutes until you finally spotted your boyfriend making his way back into the room, stopping in his tracks to acknowledge a group of friends from his class. 

Again, you wouldn't have such a problem with a certain blonde if she would just stop looking at Jungkook with stars in her eyes and pressing her cleavage against him while playing with her hair. It was hard to keep track of your conversation with Mingyu while Eunha was standing right next to your boyfriend and seemingly ogling up at him. It was also hard to not let your mind waver to dangerous territory when you took notice of how disgustingly good they looked together. 

Just two attractive people who would look disgustingly good together. 

Mingyu's voice makes you turn back to him. 

"...I don't know, like, Barney was a womanizer until Robin, you know? He changed for her! They were just perfect for each other, but they had to throw it all away by killing the mother and then making Robin marry Ted? And Barney going back to his old ways?" Mingyu sounds exhasperated and you would laugh and find it cute if your stomach wasn't tugging again in a way that made you regret drinking so much wine so fast. Specially after his last statement.  

"That's what I'm saying." you mumble, turning your attention back to your boyfriend in the crowd.

Jungkook wouldn't go back to his old ways. He loves you. There's nothing to worry about.

But as you watch him start to make his way towards you, you also watch the way Eunha grabs the sleeve of his blazer to pull him back. She leans in, whispers something in his ear to which he just shakes his head, says something that it's impossible to decipher from here you're standing and simply walks in your direction. 

Still, as much as you tried to be neutral and objective and not a 'jealous little bitch', it's almost impossible to hide the sour expression on your face. It's impossible to unclench your jaw throughout the entire evening or lose the too tight grip on your glass of wine. Even when Jungkook whispers in your ear if you're okay, you merely nod yes. You avoid eye contact with him and everytime he tries to slip your hand into his, you dodge him it by wrapping your arms around yourself, claiming how cold it is.

Jungkook is not dumb. 

He know something's up but he's also not stupid enough to cause a scene in public or preassure you into talking. So he settles on wating and being patient. Even as he slips his jacket on your stiff shoulders with pouty lips and his eyebrows drawn together, all he does is press a small kiss to the back of your neck. It takes all power within you to not throw yourself in his arms. 

But as midnight approaches and it's time to leave, you notice a change in Jungkook's behaviour as you say your goodbyes. His hand on your back is not just a soft caress, instead, his fingers pull you closer, dig into your skin as he drags the both of you to where his car is parked. Now it's him who avoids your gaze. His tensed jaw and his tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek is a visible indicator that Jungkook is pissed. 

You know his body language as well as he knows yours. And now, as he opens the door of the passanger seat so you can slide in, the guilt and the remorse of acting cold towards him for hours is finally dawning on you. 

"Are you going to tell me now what was that about?" when he closes his own door shut, he doesn't bother to put his seatbelt on. Just grips the steering wheel as he turns to you. 

"I-I don't know what you're t-"

"You don't know what I'm talking about?" he laughs, not a bit of humour in it. "I know scenes like this make you feel uncomfortable but I actually thought everything was going fine. I leave you for five minutes with Mingyu and when I come back, you won't look at me, won't touch me, won't act like I'm your boyfriend. Like I did something wrong. So please, _____, tell me, what's going on?"

You know there's no excuse for the way you acted. You know it's not Jungkook's fault he attracts attention and it most definitely not his fault if an ex of his is still hung up on him. You know it's your own fault and you know you should not try to excuse yourself and fight back. You'd swore to yourself you'd push down any feelings of jealousy deep inside until they disappeared. But something about tonight makes you explode.

"Why was she being all over you?"

Jungkook's face twists in confusion. "What? Who?"

"Eunha! Who the fuck else? She was all over you a few weeks ago at Minghao's party, and she was all over you tonight!" your voice is louder than you would've liked but at this point all you care about is letting it all out.

"This is what all of that was about? Eunha?"

"Yes! I've seen her on campus as well! Always trying to get your attention! I don't care that you have friends in common, but specially tonight, she whispered something to you and she was looking at you like she-"

"Who cares how she looks at me? All you need to care about is how I look at you because the only thing I care about is how you look at me!" Jungkook exclaims, clearly exhausted of this conversation. 

You sink in your seat and look away as the knuckles on his hands turn white from gripping the steering wheel. 

"_____," he calls you gently,  but his voice mantains a stern tone to it. "We don't do jealousy. I thought we were supossed to trust each other blindly. Have I not proved to you how sickenly in love with you I am? Do you not trust me and what I feel?"

"I-... Of course I do. I-just... I don't know. You're right. That was uncalled for." you wrap yourself in the warmth of Junkook's blazer, trying to make his scent wash away any ugly resentment and guilt in your body. 

"Wanna know what she said to me?" a rethorical question, because he was going to tell you anyway. "She asked me if I was going to stay for Yugyeom's after party, way past midnight. Wanna know what I said?" he turns to you. "I said no, I'm spending the night with my girlfriend."

None of you say nothing after that. He just puts his seatbelt on and starts driving. It's not too much of a far drive to his dorm, but the silence and the awkwardness makes it feel so much longer than it should be. You don't remember the last time Jungkook was mad at you. Actually, you don't think Jungkook has ever been mad at you. He loved the banter, loved to tease you, loved being competitive with you. But you had never seen him being avoidant of you. And that feeling tears your heart on the seat of his car.

"Are you mad at me?" you ask, voice barely audible, when the car stops at a red light. His dark eyes meet yours, his face immediately softening as he studies your expression. Then he picks one of your small hands in one of his big ones, brings it to his lips and lightly kisses your knuckles. He communicates with his eyes what he doesn't with words and it's enough to make you feel secure, at least for now.

When you finally arrive at Jungkook's room, he holds the door ope for you and lets you walk in, but he's still unusually quiet. So much so, you start to worry you might have fucked up big time. 

You stand there, not knowing what to do as you watch him sit down on his bed, slipping his shoes and socks off and loosening the tie around his neck. His hair, that was perfectly styled a few hours ago, is now messy by the amount of times his hand has pushed it back. He looks too yummy, and you hate the fact that tension and a little bit of fighting has managed to make him look as delectable. 

You ignore the heat starting to form in your belly because now it's not the time to be horny. Not when you still need to apologize and make things right. He's rolling  the sleeves of his black shirt down his forearms when you decide to speak. 

"Jungkook, I'm very sorry." you start, as you remove his blazer off you and place it on the chair right in front of his desk. "I don't know why I acted the way I did. I dont get easily jealous and I really don't think I am but..." your throat constricts your words for a moment. "The more I love you, the more frightened I get when I think that one day you'll realize I'm better off as your best friend's little sister. I-I dont know what I'd do with myself if that ever happene-"

"Take off your dress." Jungkook's impassive voice and emotionless face startles you and you freeze on your feet. 

"What?"

"Did I stutter?"

His elbows rest on his knees and he's holding your stare with his. His doe eyes lack that free spirited and amusing glint they usually have. He looks bored, scrutinizing you. He's not challenging you. He's commanding you because he knows you will obligue. 

That's why you gulp and slowly slide the straps of your dress down your arms until the fabric pools at your feet. His eyes waver along your naked breasts, nipples perking up like the mere intensity of his gaze is ordering them to. He doesn't make a move and doesn't say anything for a few seconds. He doesn't compliment you like he normally would at the sight of you almost naked in front of him.

His lack of words make you feel insecure, regardless of how turned on you are. You're used to Jungkook being reassuring, you're used to his lighthearted jokes and his playful kisses in the bedroom. But you're not used to Jungkook telling you what to do and keeping his distance while doing so. Your arms move on their own to hide yourself.

"Don't. If you hide from me, I swear to God, _____." he watches you as you let your arms fall back to your sides, your chest moving up and down while you struggle to breathe. You can't deny Jungkook's gruff voice and his eyes studying every bit of skin available to him like he hasn't seen you naked before is not making your underwear stick to your lower lips. 

"JK, I just don't think this is the right moment to-"

"On my lap." your heart skips a bit, a thrill of excitement coursing through your veins.

"Jungkook-"

"I said, get on my lap, face down." he says again, this time slower. One of his eyebrows quirk up. "Or would you rather me drag you myself? Or make you crawl?"

Your eyes widen, and your feet are quick to approach him. Your nipples tingle, your core is throbbing and your cheeks are adorned by a beautiful blush that Jungkook doesn't miss. 

He doesn't move until you're in front of him, just to help you lower yourself on his lap, your cheek and your nipples touching the mattress and your ass up. You close your eyes when Jungkook skims his fingertips over your skin, his carressing relaxing your body until he eases your nerves a bit. He sighs when he notices the way that poor excuse of a thong sticks between your folds as his strong hands massage your buttcheeks. 

He's taking his time, his fingers gliding over your soft skin, his breathing too calm for your liking. Until one palm of his hand collides sharply against your right cheek, sending your body forward. You gasp, the stinging making your body want to pull away. But he's quick to catch both your wrists behind your back, keeping you in place. 

"Jungk-!"

Another smack, this time harder, on the same cheek. 

"Did I give you permission to talk?"  

Smack. This time on the left cheek. Your back arches on its own will, presenting more of your ass to him unwittingly. Your eyes squeezed shut and bite the inside of your cheek as you rub your thighs together. You keep quiet as his hand lands another blow on your ass. 

"That's a good girl. Now," his voice is gentler this time as his hand soothe your reddened cheeks. "do you think what you did tonight was okay?" you say nothing, only a mewl slips past your lips. Another smack. "Answer me."

"No." you lick your lips, anticipating more. 

"Do you think it was funny to pull a stunt like that?" 

Smack.

"N-no!"

"No, it wasn't. Spread your legs for me." you do as you're told and he finally pulls down the drenched piece of lace down your thighs. He leans forward, spreads your cheeks with one hand as he lets a glob of spit fall directly into your lips. He makes you gasp when his fingers start sliding up and down your folds slowly. 

"I've had to put up with this kind of behavour since the day you begged me to fuck this tight, virgin pussy like the little slut you are." you whine, face red as humiliation starts to creep in. Jungkook slips one finger in, pumping it slow and easy. Your hips move to take him deeper.

"I tried to be a gentleman, you know?" he says, adding a second finger. "I've tried to treat you nice and sweet and be the best boyfriend I could be to make you happy and keep you satisfied in every sense of the word." his thumb finds your clit, rubbing tortuous circles. 

"Been compeletely whipped since I kissed you for the first time. Haven't looked at other girls because I just can't when I have everything I want to look at right in front of me." murmuring, he starts to get lost your pussy and how it swallows his fingers and how obscene you look and sound, dripping right on his trousers. He watches his fingers moving in and out, almost hypnotized. "Yet, somehow..." he pulls away. You whimper in protest. 

"Somehow, you still seem to doubt me." His hand smacks your cheek again, wet fingers spreading your essence all over your skin.

"P-please, please." you cry. You miss Jungkook's sadistic smile before he releases the grip on your wrists, still keeping you on his lap. Both his hands spread your cheeks now, and another glob of spit falls right into your asshole. His fingers find your cunt again, easily taking you almost over the edge.

"If you could only look at yourself right now... All spread out for me like a needy whore in heat" his thumb teases your unexplored rim, hesitantly, coating it with his spit and your own arousal. He presses in slowly. You gasp, your body tenses and Jungkook stills his movements immediately. There's silence for a few seconds. 

"Too far? Should I stop?" and there's your Jungkook, concern lacing his voice. His free hand caresses your back, your body relaxing, laying back down obediently. His fingers are still inside you and his thumb is still asking for entrance. He leans forward, placing a small but comforting kiss on the bruised skin of your right asscheek. 

"Go on." you whisper, but he doesn't move right away. This time, it's his own body that tenses momentarely before going back to his tranquil demeanor. He breathes through his noise as his fingers pick up where they left off. 

"Yeah?" you swear you hear him swallow a lump in his throat. "Gonna let me finger this tight little ass like a good slut? Mm?" his thumb slides deeper, slightly stretching you out while his fingers work your pussy in a solid rhythm. "Gonna let me stretch you out little by little until I can open you up with my cock one day?" his movements speed up, fingers sliding out of your cunt to play with your clit and his thumb slowly moving in and out. "You don't wanna talk now? You just want to stay silent while I fuck your ass and-"

And then you're cumming, so unexpected it takes both of you by surprise. Your hands grip onto Jungkook's sheets, your thighs clasp around his hand as you scream his name. He doesn't stop though. He rides you through it, encouraging words mixing with filthy insults that prolong your orgasm until you're squirming beneath him. 

"Shit, baby... My hand is soaked." he mumbles, as he slowly removes his fingers and thumb from you. "You okay?"

You faintly nod your head yes, not able to find words through your dry mouth and your pussy still convulsing. 

"Good. Get on the bed. On your hands and knees." 

You somehow manage to slip from his lap and position yourself as he says. Except your arms and legs are shaking. Although the sound of Jungkook undoing his belt and his hands gripping your hips and bringing you towards him until the head of his dick is at your entrance is enough to make you forget about how tired your body is. You surrender to him, not even bothering to hold yourself up on your arms, your fingers crumbling the sheets and your face buried into the pillow. 

When his cock enters you, a pitiful moan leaves your mouth. His thick lenght slides into your heat, filling you perfectly as he always does. It's a wonder how well he fits inside you. 

"Such a perfect slut for me. Always ready for me to do whatever I want with her, since day one. So tight, so ready. So, so perfect. All mine." he talks as measured as he moves, dragging each word out as his hips find a nice tempo. 

Then he doesn't move for a while with his dick buried between your walls, and you know he's holding himself back. You turn your head slightly to look at him. He catches your eyes instantly. Sees your mascara running down your watery eyes, and your smudged lipstick and your messy hair and then he's giving you that look. That look that lets you know that Jungkook is, indeed, whipped for you. Leaning in, he presses his shirt-covered chest to your sweaty, naked back. His cock dives deeper, not an ounce of space between you as he lovingly kisses your cheek until his mouth finds yours. 

He kisses you hard but soft, tongue meeting yours for the first time since you entered the room. Jungkook is not a man of words. He's silly, and a jokester, and finds it difficult to express how he's feeling. But when he kisses you, or looks at you, when he touches you, or when he makes love to you, even if it's as dirty and filthy as right now, he's always able to transmit exactly what he can't vocally.

He's telling you there's no other place he'd rather be than here, with you. 

When he pulls back, a string of saliva still connecting your lips, his hand moves to the back of your head, fisting your hair in a tight hold that makes you arch your back and desperately moan for him.

"A-and you're mine." you sob.

It's like something snaps inside of him. He growls and suddenly his hips lose control. He nails you against the mattress, his grip on your hair pulling your head back, his lips against your ear as your cunt clenches around his cock. 

"Just yours. All yours." his grunts send shivers down your spine and you're close again, even in the painful and uncomfortable position your body is in. Being at Jungkook's mercy and him being at yours is enough to have you seeing starts.

"This is the only pussy I want wrapped around my cock. Your lips are the only ones I want to kiss. You're the only one I want between my arms." It only takes two flickers of Jungkook's free hand against your nub and his next words to tip you over. "You belong to me, and I belong to you."

You squeal as you come, and Jungkook bites your shoulder to keep himself from doing so as well as he follows shortly. He fills you up with his release,  but he doesn't release you from him. He wraps his arms around your frame, both your bodies becoming soft as he rolls over to one side with your back still pressed to his chest, cock still inside you. His lips find their way to the skin of your shoulder and the back of your neck. His breath fanning your flesh makes you smile.

"That is so not like my sister. I'm telling you, she never gets jealous." Taehyung says over the phone. He's munching on something again and Jungkook would bet all the money in his wallet again he's eating Skittles. Red Skittles. "So, everything cool now?"

"Yeah, man. We just talked it out, you know?" Jungkook's gaze falls on you, laying on your stomach on his bed, laptop iluminating your face, earbuds on and your head moving to whatever music you're listening to. Jungkook would bet all the money in his bank account it's Shape Of My Heart by The Backstreet Boys. Or at least that's what he's been able to guess so far. He was never good at reading lips, specially when trying to guess boybands' lyrics. 

Friday's nights meant late 1990's/early 2000's pop nostalgia for you. It meant shaking his head and spending the following week trying to get Britney and Xtina songs out of his brain for him. Although lately, he hadn't been trying that hard. Jungkook sighs in content, not really trying to cover the fact that he might be looking at you like a starstruck teenager. Which, it was totally fair because that's exactly how he feels about you. "Communication is key, bro."

He keeps watching you until your head perks up and catch him gawking. You smile at him and he smiles back.

"By 'communication is key' you mean you actually fucked my little sister silly right? Bro, I swear, I'll block your numb-"

"Sorry man, gotta go." 

"And now you're gonna fuck her silly again, right? You son of a b-"

Jungkook hangs up just as you take your earbuds off, making his way to you to kiss you silly.