#more serious then i generally go on this blog but also its um

[pastadoughie]

i have seen multiple posts about this at this point, many of witch i consider too graphic or upsetting to be shared on this blog- especially sense if youre on my blog you likely really like cats, and are upset by mentions of harm done to them. but it is important

if you are someone, who has any kind of mechanical or "smart" device that is used by your cats, like an automatic water or food dispenser or litter box, or even toys or grooming equipment. you need to keep in mind that machinery is machinery. pistons & motors and metal have no care for flesh & do not discriminate between tissue & plastic

safety features, like for example a sensor, witch stops the opening of a door or the dispensing of something if your cat is present, are not foolproof, are not infailable. failures in software or in construction occur, especially if you have a cheaply manufactured device.

the best way (for humans as well as cats) to not be injured by a peice of machinery is to simply not be around objects capable of inflicting that type of harm. or, failing that, to only use or be in contact with it when there is someone present that would be capable of helping in whatever catastrophic event.

for example. pretty much all tablesaw blades have a mechanism in witch they will forcibly stop if they incounter soft tissue. if you put your hand on a tablesaw you likely will get a gash & nothing more. but even though this is a thing. its common knowlage that you should UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE put your hands near one or even opperate one if you arent very focused!!!

pistons & motors and metal have no care for flesh & do not discriminate between tissue & plastic if you have something that could potentially, given a failure of software or hardware, do anything wrong to your cat, you should not use it & or you need to have supervision when its in use. convience is not worth anybodies life, in the same way that you would have no chance if you were caught in an industrial lathe, you shouldnt rely on your cats to get themselves out of a life threatening situation. the best safety is to not have a peice of machinery that is capable of inflicting that type of harm

[kushami-hime]

I posted 1,743 times in 2022

That's 226 more posts than 2021!

924 posts created (53%)

819 posts reblogged (47%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@onetrickponi

@thebigchoo

@goodlucksnez

@thescarlettletter

I tagged 1,039 of my posts in 2022

Only 40% of my posts had no tags

#kushami asks - 365 posts

#snzblr - 227 posts

#not snz - 213 posts

#snz kink - 207 posts

#snzfucker - 202 posts

#sneeze kink - 144 posts

#snz - 100 posts

#kushami wavs - 96 posts

#snz wav - 34 posts

#b/akugou - 30 posts

Longest Tag: 100 characters

#knowing that you all care so deeply for a stranger on the internet has restored my faith in humanity

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

CW: Sneezing, Stifles, Wet Sneezes, Half Stifles, BakuBrats stank attitude, embarrassment, 3 noseblows. 

One morning at the local hero agency, the newest generation fresh to the scene is called to a meeting by their serious colleague, Tenya Iida. Everyone is in attendance, including Ground Zero and Deku. But as they get settled in, a strong smell in the cramped room begins to set off Deku’s nose...this won’t end well. 

FIRST wav since...the dragon!baku one? That was done a hot minute ago I feel like but whatever lol. I cant find the proper anon question atm and to be honest I dont remember if its the same person but when you see this, I hope it’s alright! All I remember was that someone asked for D/eku dealing with someones strong perfume either in a mission/meeting/college lecture so I went with a meeting setting. I put my own little spin on it with music from the OST and using background sounds and stuff to give it more...immersion? idk lmao.

Anyway! It’s bedtime for me but horni hours for you guys. Enjoy! <3

102 notes - Posted April 6, 2022

#4

After waking up with a terrible fever, D/eku finds himself being taken care of by B/akugou, who’s usual rash behavior covers up his worrisome feelings over his lovers illness.

CW: Sneezing (dur) Baku being a tsundere mother hen, bratty sick Deku, Baku getting sneezed on (twice I think?), general caretaking, you know the drill. 

OK guys wtf HOW did this get so goddamn long!? This is my longest wav YET! And yet...I don’t think it lived up to the hype? Im just being hard on myself I guess, you all be the judge.

I really missed doing Deku and I got like, REALLY mess and REALLY stuffy during this wav and you can totally hear it nearer to the end/in the second half.

This was originally for THIS ask and Im sorry if it sucks (I know you said soft caretaker Baku but he’s pretty angry in the first half) but HEY its super long so there’s that? Lol. I also apologize for the quality, I had to knock it down during the export cause it was too big for Discord lol...

Anyway, um...enjoy I guess! It’s been a harsh week so Im gonna go eat something and watch anime I guess @-@ 

102 notes - Posted January 29, 2022

#3

CW: SLOW BURN, B/akugou being tied up/restrained, slight BDSM vibes, feather use, a LOT of sneezing (like...a LOT) long, drawn out holdbacks/build ups, some NSFW sounds if you squint, mess/hints at a lot of mess, feather allergy, my OC Tsumeko being a real bitch to blasty boi, established Pro Hero AU, hands free stifles, forced stifles, B/akugou being loud and having an absolute potty mouth, growly noises (cause yknow angry B/akubrat), forced false starts (if thats a thing), B/akugou being winded/out of breath on a few occassions, cameo from T/odoroki and D/eku at the end, shirt being used as a tissue/noseblowing into shirt.

CHARACTERS DEPICTED ARE IN PRO HERO AU AND ARE 25+!

K/atsuki wakes up tied to a support beam in a structurally unsound building seemingly underground. When he realizes his captor is a well known thief he's been chasing for weeks, he's completely seeing red. Will he be able to tough it out against her strange test of endurance or crack under the pressure with a weakness he didn't even know he had?

Holy fuck guys...this shit is the length of a full on anime episode and idk whether to be proud of myself or ashamed like...idk what to think. All I know is that a LOT of anons wanted this wav and well...here it is lol. It took like 3 - 4 weeks of repeat sessions of JUST sneezing and also holdback training if you will. Most of them were seperate but 90% of the holdbacks in this are 100% real so enjoy my genuine battle against fresh vials of Chinknii xux;

I'm also sort of on the fence with this one, cause it's been a hot minute since I've done a B/akugou wav and I pretty much forgot how to sneeze like him, and I rerecorded certain sneezes but without much improvement so sorry about that u.u Hopefully they get better as I do a few more wavs with him coming up.

SO! Um...hopefully this does some numbers cause I have to be up early and I stayed up to finish this and um...yeah! Im gonna go pass out now-

102 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

#2

CW: Nose blowing, wet sneezes, sniffling, buildups/hitching breaths, somewhat horny Bakubrat, very teasing and dominant/demanding! Listener is in a servant position so there’s that if you’re into domestic servitude lmao

After a long day away from the palace, B/akugou returns from an outing drenched in freezing rain, and sneezing almost uncontrollably. He claims he’s fine...typical B/akugou. But once Y/N pesters him enough, he admits that he may have caught himself an awful illness by the name of Dragon Fever. With human blood running through their veins, Y/N is immune to this disease, so it’s up to them to nurse the suddenly teasing and feverish king back to health...

AS YOU CAN SEE, this file was too big and too horni for tumblr so I had to use soundcloud instead. A lot of people have been waiting for this, so I really REALLY hope it came out OK. You guys know Im too hard on myself these days like, ugh. The self loathing is so real...

But, it’s here. And I’ll probably take some time to write scripts and maaaaybe write a short fic? I dunno yet, Im really tired, lol Enjoy!

Minors DNI. Non-Kink blogs DO NOT REBLOG! Love you guys!

103 notes - Posted February 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

A shy, nerdy type of guy you've been friends with for so long that you've decided to tell about your kink. He thinks nothing of it, even reassures you that it's natural and it's not weird at all! He even totally forgets it...even as he's struggling with his usual hayfever.

You can't help but squirm as he's humiliating himself by struggling to fish out his used tissues to wipe his streaming nose, holding back his sneezes with messy half stifles into his hands. He looks down at the shiny mess in his palms as he hides himself from you, flushed red in the face. That's when he remembers.

"W-wait...y-you...l-like this sort of thing...don't you?"

133 notes - Posted March 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[starigen]

☆ Short Intro..

︵︵ . ︵︵︵ ⠀ ⠀﹒ ﹒ ⠀ ⠀ ︵︵︵ . ︵︵

˚₊‧◜💫◞ lavera — starlah ! ꒰ she . her ꒱ ⭑ ‧₊˚

༘ ⋆｡˚ straight ally ︶︶ 

︶︶ . ︶︶︶ ⠀ ⠀﹒ ﹒⠀ ⠀ ︶︶︶ . ︶︶

☆ I post art, life content, and random stuff i see!!

(maybe fandom content? Just a lil.)

( =ω=)..nyaa

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ byf

. 01 ⋆ IM 13 NO WEIRD COMMENTS UM

. 02 ⋆ im a proship + comship anti. (I could care less if you interact w/ me ig i wont bite unless you force me into it.)

. 03 ⋆ my jokes could be offensive (ex: some kys jokes or homophobic jokes) i don’t usually mean them.

. 04 ⋆ i make nsfw jokes (i’m not serious when i make them)

. 05 ⋆ i might use slurs (ofc i don’t usually mean anything that bad)

. 06 ⋆ i swear obvi

. 07 ⋆ expect a post every few months atp, i post when i want

. 08 ⋆ i’m not too entertaining of a blog

. 09 ⋆ my blog isn’t all about inappropriate jokes or stuff. sometimes i make ironic jokes, if you don’t understand irony well, my jokes can come to be misleading or rude.

. 09 ⋆ if you’re one of those sensitive gen z/alpha kids my blog ain’t for you.

. 10 ⋆ Leave if you don’t like what I post lol!! Don’t be a hater who doesn’t know how to scroll and comment on my posts lmao,, im not tryna waste ur day (FYI: I’m not going to lose sleep over what you think of me!!!!)

︶︶︶︶︶

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ DNI

. 01 ⋆ overall annoying individual to be around

. 02 ⋆ weirdo in general (iykyk)

. 03 ⋆ if ur a fucking snowflake (VERYYYYYYYYY sensitive person,,)

. 04 ⋆ (Occasionally) On like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, I’m busy like hell.

︶︶︶︶︶

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ extra

. 01 ⋆ Yeah,, you can become friends w/ me. I like interacting w/ peoplee, but im kinda socially awkward so if i seem a bit impolite sorry ig (yeah ik u arent gonna do shit to me but like still)

. 02 ⋆ only dm if ur friends w/ me :]

. 03 ⋆ i will never stop yapping abt object shows (specifically if it’s inanimate insanity lolz) if u mention it!!! (Mention steve cobs or anything meeple related and i WILL go bonkers talkin abt LOREE) ☆ feel free 2 be friends w/ me if ur an ii fan ><! (Id love it more if ur a meeple fan 2!!)

. 04 ⋆ i might not respond to ur dms ina. WHILE bc im using the tumblr website,, not app, so i dont get notifs (but its also bc like,, if ur an online friend, i just get nervous in general lol im not too used to it..)

︶︶︶︶︶

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ socials

. 01 ⋆ Discord: starigen ☆ for friends only er

. 02 ⋆ adding later lol

︶︶︶︶︶

☆ honestly all for now might add my fellow moots laterr anyways bye ig ✌️

[dogsgone]

ooc/rules/cw

mun is kris. 24. they/them, anxious bastard lol

updated 7/3/23: the wrath month edition

the roulxs:

18+ only

minors and personals will be soft blocked. upon following again: hard block.

if you are a personal with an rp sideblog please make it clear on your blog or just tell me because otherwise you might get blocked.

minor MUSES are fine though

i read rules pages for every blog i follow that has one but i have a shit memory so if i accidentally breach one of your rules please let me know. or block me if it’s that egregious but please for the love of god do not publicly @ me who the fuck does that. do not make a callout post for me being forgetful like a fucking weirdo. if i breach a rule that is not on your rules page then i’m sorry, i’m not a mind reader.

on the “q slur:” i’ll do my best to tag is as “#q //” that’s q, two slashes. keep in mind i identify with that word, strongly. if it angers you that i would dare use a “"slur”“ to label myself or whatever, remember “gay” has seen just as much use as a slur. i grew up in the american south, i’ve heard both words used for the same harmful reasons. sorry if this comes off as angry or petty, but if you were continually told that “gay” is a slur and you shouldn’t use it for yourself, you’d be tired and angry too, wouldn’t you? i’ll do my best to tag for it, but i will die on this hill.

please tag spiders/scorpions/arachnids, hanging/nooses, and also maybe trypo/holes thanks

semi-selective i will roleplay with most fandoms, ocs, and muses also not moots exclusive.

please don’t like. involve me in drama or callouts or shit. i’m just here trying to play fucking online dolls

with the above said i do reserve the right to block/cease interacting with ppl who make me uncomfortable, just like you reserve the right to block/cease interacting with me if i make u uncomfortable. i prefer to try to come to some kind of understanding first, but sometimes it doesn’t work out that way

please note that i, the mun, am mentally ill and neurodivergent. in a lot of cases, my muses will share some of my own personal struggles to sort of like. explore these things myself and shit. link in particular shares a lot of my neurodivergencies and chronic pain. shit gets frustrating and sometimes roleplaying a tiny elf twink going thru the same shit helps a bit. u know how it is.

though link may act a bit naive and sometimes even childish, he is still very much an adult. not a “rule” exactly just something to keep in mind.

sorry if some of these seem overly detailed or serious. i’ve been around the block when it comes to rp tumblr i’m just trying to cover all my bases in at least a semi concise manner.

also sorry if any of this comes off as passive aggressive or rude. i can’t parse or regulate tone for shit like in an actual verbal conversation, trying to convey it thru text is damn near impossible for me lmao

i’m really just a tired nerd who is trying to have fun on this hellsite.

um that’s all i can think of for now may add or change more later thanks for reading have a great time

content warnings:

Content warnings for this blog include, but may not be limited to:

- Religious trauma

- Violence, death, etc.

- The inherent psychological torment that comes with being cursed to reincarnate forever and ever, only to be brought into the world when evil once again threatens to destroy everything, and having only a single use and purpose in life to the goddess one serves, that being the wielder of her sacred blade to seal away the evil once more, until it inevitably rears its ugly head again. I guess this goes under religious trauma.

- Mental illness and trauma in general.

- Lycanthropy.

That’s all I can think of for now; if more comes up, I’ll add to this list, and as always, if I’m unsure of anything, I will tag it with #ask to tag, so feel free to blacklist that tag if you need to.

[bestworstcase]

What is your opinion on all the hate RWBY gets? Does it really deserve the reputation it gets as a garbage piece of media that screws up at every possible turn or is it better than people give it credit for?

not to be facetious anon but why did u ask me this what about me splashing the fevered soup of my rwby brainrot all over this blog constantly led u to wonder if i maybe secretly think it’s garbage GKFHDJS

um on a more serious note i think a lot of rwby fans could rly benefit from ignoring the hatedom because Frankly there is nothing exceptional or uniquely vitriolic about rwby’s hatedom that is just What Hatedoms Are Like and the general posture of the online rwby fandom circles that i’ve been kind of perusing by cruising through tags and keeping an eye on what people say on my posts strikes me as almost—like i get the feeling sometimes that some folks who really do like the show have also nonetheless bought into the hatedom narrative of, oh rwby is an amateur mess written by people who don’t know what they’re doing really, and that leads to this bizarre sort of attitude that anything good must have been accidental?

bc the thing is while yes the amateur passion project of it all does show in the writing, mainly in the awkward pacing and clumsy worldbuilding in the first couple volumes, but this is a story that has excelled at set up and execution since its inception and, idk maybe blitzing through the first eight volumes has just given me a fundamentally different perspective on how the narrative is put together but it is ludicrous to me to see so many fans of this show engaging with it like they think the writing team is just kind of making it up as they go along—as if the story didn’t introduce salem by using her as a narrator three whole volumes before we even got a glimpse at her, as if the first three volumes aren’t deliberately structured to offer oblique glimpses of the conspiracy that reveals itself fully beginning in the fourth, as if v2-3 weren’t screaming the fall of atlas from the rooftops. how do you watch eight volumes of this and come away thinking that rwby is not a story that was meticulously and lovingly planned?

hdhdjvk i’m just a little frustrated that when my posts break containment there are inevitably a large handful of people who reblog them with tag commentary to the tune of “well i don’t believe this was purposeful and don’t trust the writers to do it but it would be so cool if this were right” like. god. maybe if you stopped drinking the hatedom koolaid and paid attention to what’s happening on screen you would feel more optimistic about the competency of the writing???

[simple-heroics]

Momo Yaoyorozu Fluff Alphabet | Part 1 | Letters A-L

Yes, yes, I know. My bias is showing. But Momo just radiates Distinguished Lesbian and my messy queer self gravitates to her for that. Please help me pull my life together, Yaomomo! 

Also, props to @sparkncharge​ for inspiring me to go Plus Ultra on a fluff alphabet. If you’re a Hawks stan, please check out her Fluff Alphabet for him. It’s amazing; I still reread it. Also, while you’re at it, read the rest of Lily’s work. Her blog is partially what inspired me to start Simple Heroics. 

credit to creator of the fluff alphabet prompt list here

Activities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Momo is pretty sheltered due to her upbringing and there is so much of the commoner’s world for her to discover outside of the little bubble she grew up in. She gets so giddy when you take her out exploring. With this, though, there is a strong, unspoken level of trust as well because it can take her out of comfort zone and even be a little intimidating. 

One of her favorite activities is thrift shopping! She loves going store to store, seeing all the random things being sold and wondering at the stories behind them. While she can create anything in the world, she can’t replicate the history behind a given object. Some of her favorite finds include: a pretty landscape painting by an unknown artist, secondhand novels with annotations inked in, even someone’s diploma from graduate school!

Just as you give her a taste of your world, Momo wants to share as much as hers as possible. So expect the occasional night out at an elegant restaurant, concert halls, tea ceremonies, you name it. Momo takes great delight in introducing you to new experiences.

Her ultimate favorite, though, is when both your worlds come together in the privacy of your shared home. Just you two and a pot of tea shared between you. And she can be herself. Not the class vice president, the Yaoyorozu heiress, or even the Everything Hero: Creati.

 Just Momo - your Momo.

Beauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

More than anything, Momo would admire a s/o with a strong sense of self - someone who knows who they are, where they come from, and what they want in life. Someone who is secure in themselves. Someone who not only accepts themselves but loves themselves, mistakes and all.

It’s the sort of confidence that doesn’t come from skill or achievements or any outside sources. It’s a strong, inherent sense of self-worth that’s unshakable, and it leaves Momo starstruck.

Momo isn’t one to place much value on things like physical appearance but in your case, the deeper she fell, the more beauty she found. There’s this natural allure about you that keeps drawing her in. 

You’re simply…you. Just you. And Momo can’t think of anything more beautiful.

Comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

For better or for worse, Momo is very much a problem solver. Like, “What do you need? Do you want some mint tea? A hug? Want me to hold your hand? How can I help? Please let me help you.” 

Yeah, um, Mo? That works great for evacuation and rescue missions. Not so great when someone is having a panic attack. And sometimes, if they’re just feeling down, it’s less about what a person needs and more about just being there for them. It takes some talking for Momo to learn this but when she does, our girl adapts her approach accordingly. 

That said, Momo figures out one surefire way to comfort you on particularly gloomy days: Blanket forts. 

Yes, Momo is miss prim and proper and tends towards going for a more “practical” approach to most things. But blanket forts are fun. They’re also cozy and warm and make you feel safe. And it’s prime location for cuddling and sweet affection when you most need it.

Plus, she can make all the pillows you could ever want in there. Your blanket fort is magnificent, complete with only the softest of blankets and strung up fairy lights and Momo’s loving arms.

Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

For years, Momo’s greatest focus was her hero career – countless hours of study, training, and internships. Her brain was so crammed with the physical composition of everything to really think about a future.

Then you came along. 

Momo doesn’t have any grand fantasies; her reality is already adventurous enough. Her dreams for your future together are simple, humble imaginings not much different from your current life together except for you’re both older. Some silver threading into her dark hair, crow’s feet around your eyes.

Momo wants to continue this life with you for as long as possible. Her dream is to grow old together. Given her profession, she knows all too well not to take any single day for granted.

Simple or no, just thinking about living her entire life with you makes her giddy enough to call in 30 minutes early so she can get home to you faster.

Equal - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Neither. You’re partners, equals in this relationship. 

She trusts your judgement implicitly. Part of the reason Momo is in a relationship with you is because she respects you and holds you in a high regard. Likewise (and especially knowing her history with second guessing herself), you always ask for Momo’s input on things. 

H o w e v e r, that said, I do believe the roles can fluctuate in this relationship quite a bit. Momo can sometimes be strict with you in the sense that because she thinks so well of you, she knows you can do better and she pushes you. On other days, she herself can be rather passive. The key is communication.

The one thing Momo will never, ever waver on, though, is your safety. She isn’t overly protective by any means but is realistic and practical. And being the s/o of a high-ranking Pro-Hero comes with its own risks. Momo needs to where you’re at and that you’re safe. She personally ensures that you always, always have a way of getting in contact with her. If she herself cannot be reached, she makes sure you have pretty much all top 10 heroes on speed dial.

Seriously. Click any number on your cell. Any one of them is likely to be the personal phone number of Earphone Jack or Shoto or freaking Number One Hero Deku. (Creati is number 1, though. That’s your baby right there.)

Fight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Thankfully, fights are rare. But when they happen, they’re serious. Extremely so. And honestly? I don’t want to see an angry Momo. 

She doesn’t yell or angry cry or insult you. Her expression is hard, resolute, as she makes her points in the argument while simultaneously cutting through every one of yours. 

Two things make arguments with Momo terrible: One, she’s too damn smart and makes some very good points that are hard to argue with. Two, because she’s smart and makes good points, it can feel like you’re being condescended to you like a child. 

And that never ends well.

Thankfully, Momo has a good outlook when it comes to arguments. She has a “us vs. the problem” mindset rather than a “me vs you” which in itself helps a great deal. Additionally, if she’s in a relationship with you, she knows you very well and can understand where you’re coming from.

That said, Momo is a patient, mature person who prefers prioritizes resolving problems and is quick to put things behind her. She is also very good at apologizing when she’s in the wrong but would expect the same in turn. 

Gratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

So, so grateful.

If anything, Momo is hyper aware of the things you do for her and this in turn motivates her to return the favor a hundred fold. This includes: extravagant dates at fancy restaurants, sending you to a spa when she herself can’t see you, making you tea almost every night, complimenting you when you’re just in sweats and a stained shirt, bringing you shopping for a new shirt and some Gucci sweatpants, taking you to see that movie you looked for to…at its actual screening event!

Momo is pulling out all the stops for you. Is she your girlfriend or your Sugar Mama? Perhaps both.

Every time you do anything for her, even something as small as grabbing something from a high shelf, she thanks you with a dazzling smile. You just make her feel so happy and so loved. Momo can’t thank you enough.

Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Momo doesn’t get into the habit of hiding anything from you. However, that doesn’t mean she shares everything. There are some things she prefers to keep to herself and others she has to due to confidentiality in certain cases. 

She does, however, try to hide her insecurities from you. Momo wants you to see her as strong and capable, an intelligent leader who can be relied on. She’s learned to keep up a strong front, as any weakness a hero displays can easily be taken advantage of by a villain or torn apart by the press. The public needs a strong face. 

But you aren’t the public. Neither are you a villain out to exploit her weaknesses nor journalist looking for more fodder for tabloids. You’re her significant other, her life partner. 

You tell her as many times as she needs to hear this. It takes time and a lot of late night conversations and built up trust but eventually, you two get there.

Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Yes, absolutely yes. Momo learned that her self-worth shouldn’t be assigned to things like being the smartest student or the strongest hero or even as the best version of herself. She alone is more than adequate. 

As was mentioned in Activities, you also split her world wide open and made her realize the bubble she grew up in. It’s made her acknowledge her own privilege in a lot of ways which in turn made her more understanding of society is set up, especially in regards to her hero work. Momo becomes a far more compassionate hero when it comes time to suppress villains, understanding how life circumstances push some to make unfortunate choices. This realization in turn made Momo start finding other ways to help people outside of hero work, such as donating money to rehabilitation programs and advocating for changes in laws that reinforce the status quo.

As for you, Momo taught you how to let yourself be more sensitive and perhaps gentler. You learn to see people beyond the front they put up, how to recognize their insecurities. Your relationship with her has made you more compassionate as well, so that when you see anyone struggling with what your love sometimes does, you’re quicker to offer a comforting word or validation.

Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Momo gets more insecure than jealous. Whenever she sees you spending a great deal of time with another person, she questions herself as a partner to you and consequently beats herself over it.

She remembers every canceled date, every missed phone call, every time she’s had to put you - the love of her life - second to her career. Then she berates herself for feeling guilty about prioritizing being a hero, someone who - you know - saves people. Why would she put a relationship before something so important?

But you weren’t just a mere “relationship”; you’re her world. But was she enough for you? How could she be when she was so busy all the time?

God forbid she starts comparing herself to the person you’re spending so much time with, especially if they’re funnier than her or more reliable or stronger or just more available than she is.

It’s an ongoing cycle and is honestly the saddest things in the world to watch, seeing this strong and capable woman destroy herself from the inside out. Unless she catches herself, Momo could potentially start self-sabotaging.

Please sit down with your girlfriend and talk to her. Please hold her hand as you reassure her that she is more than enough. Please have a long, serious talk about this before Momo breaks down.

After a series of conversations and perhaps some compromises in busy schedules, Momo doesn’t feel insecure very often. When she does, she learns to catch it and talk herself through it.

She reminds herself: You knew what being with a hero meant before you agreed to this relationship, and you’re proud of her. Your relationship is strong. You love her. 

And she loves you, too. So much. :’)

Also…lowkey, when she gets jealous, Momo probs spoils the hell out of you. I’m talking date night at a rented out restaurant, private gardens, expensive wine, the works. The most important part being that she’s taken this time for you and only you. 

Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Momo dreamed about your first kiss long before you two started dating, though she tries to deny it with a precious blush across her cheeks. She pictured it after a romantic evening, perhaps at her doorstep, with the moon and the stars and she would hold your hand before gently leaning closer and — 

Yeah, no. Your first kiss was nothing like that. 

It was after a long, hard day of training. Momo was sweaty and gross, covered in dirt, and her body was sore from the extensive use of her Quirk. She was so worn out that she barely even noticed you staring.

And boy, when she did, was she flustered. That is until at her you leaned closer to give her a soft peck on the lips.

“You worked hard out there. I’m really proud of you,” you told her simply.

Momo wouldn’t trade that first kiss for any fantasy in the world. 

Your future kisses, however, are certainly more…ahem. Involved than the first. All this to say…YES, Momo Yaoyorozu is absolutely a good kisser. I refuse to accept anything less and frankly, neither would she. She was shy and demure about it at first but when Momo does something, she does it well. 

Momo masters the art of sweet, lingering kisses that leave you breathless in their intensity. They usually start with a look, her eyes gently darkening as she takes you in. Her hands delicately touch the sides of your face, smoothing your hair behind your ears to allow her a better look. You can feel the flutter of her eyelashes as she leans in, her breath warm on her lips, before she meets them with her own. 

Her kisses are soft and gentle but no less intense. 

When she pulls back with a quiet hum, Momo rests her forehead against yours and smiles lovingly at your (understandably) dazed expression.

Love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Momo is so cute when she confesses. I know I’ve gushed about her time and again, and I definitely won’t stop anytime soon. 

Since her feelings for you first began, Momo held them close to her heart even when her mind is in a thousand other places with hero duties. It’s only later when she’s alone and quiet does she allow herself to focus on you – your smile, your sense of adventure, your honesty, the way your eyes light up, how you challenge her to go beyond plus ultra her comfort zone and grow as a person. 

How could someone like you be interested in someone like her? 

These feelings grew and grew, combating with Momo’s private insecurities. The more time she spends with you, though, the less they matter. You give her butterflies, yes, but you make her braver, too.

And brave is what she needs when she confesses.

Momo’s confession isn’t a spur of the moment thing. It’s planned - from the when to the how and even the where. She invites you somewhere private, somewhere she feels comfortable and is also meaningful to you both. Perhaps a garden or in the hidden corner of a tea shop you two frequent.

Momo has an entire speech planned. It’s formal and put together and she has it completely memorized but then –

She meets your eyes and suddenly, despite her ability to memorize the atomic structure of everything, that speech evaporates in her mind. She stutters, trying to grasp at the least beginning, and decides to - for once - let go of what’s “proper”. 

And like Todoroki said…Momo’s speciality is thinking under pressure.

Momo tells you everything: her first impression of when she met you, the first time you made her laugh, the way her eyes teared up during your first argument, her gratitude for that one time you stood up for her against Mineta, all the ways you inspire her, the way your voice is her favorite sound, and how you make her feel. 

You make her so happy and grateful and amused and dizzy and frustrated and emotional. You make her feel confident and so much braver than she actually is.

She takes your hands in hers, holding them like they are the most precious things in the world, and looks at you with shining grey eyes. In those eyes, you see someone so sure and certain of her feelings - her feelings for you.

“I love you, y/n. I love you dearly.”

[sincerelyreidburke]

[Here’s a small something that nobody asked for. Also on AO3.]

IndieSource.com

Friday, 11/13/2026

  INDIESOURCE EXCLUSIVE: Interview with Cole Kolinsky

Today on the blog, IndieSource sits down with singer-songwriter Cole Kolinsky. November 14th marks the one-year anniversary of the release of his debut album, Greene Street , which launched his mainstream success in the indie scene. His first headlining tour, named for his first album, wrapped up on its final stop in his home city of Providence, RI just last week. Cole’s second album, Racing Myself , drops January 8th of next year.

IS: It’s been a big year for you, Cole! Can you tell us a little about your first tour?

CK: Oh, tour was a blast. I’m not a super well-traveled person, so getting to go all over the country playing shows was— I mean, it was a complete dream come true. I’d never really done much outside local shows, and then suddenly I’m on a tour bus traveling the country. You can’t even imagine that in your dreams.

IS: With a tour now under your belt, what’s your favorite part of being on the road?

CK: I think hands down, the best part of tour for me was all the people I got to meet. I went out to merch and met with fans after every show, and the sheer number of people who came to hear my music— it was a lot to take in. And when I talked to people, and they told me that my music had touched them in one way or another— that’s what tour was really about for me. The experience of connecting with people. It’s one thing to know people at home support you, but it’s another when you’re out on the road and you realize that what you create is reaching, like, thousands of people. It’s unreal.

IS: Greene Street was the album that really put you on the map. What would you say were some of your inspirations for it?

CK: I’d been writing music with an album in mind for years leading up to Greene Street , but I never really felt like I had anything coherent until I wrote “to: me,” my first single off the album. That was right after I actually moved onto the street the album is named after, so— [Laughs] I guess you could say that’s when it all started falling into place.

IS: You got pretty close to what you might call ‘overnight fame.’ Is there a moment you recall that it really hit you that things were happening for you in the music world?

CK: Yeah, actually, I think I do have an answer for that one. I think the first time I got recognized in public really clued me in on how big the album was getting. It was earlier this year, in Providence. I was, uh— [Laughs] I was at the grocery store with my boyfriend.

*

five years after (cole’s) graduation | march

  Cole is tired of pretending like he doesn’t hate Whole Foods.

He gets it— Ben likes to shop here. But he will literally never understand the point of this grocery store. Aside from, he guesses, selling healthy food or whatever. The problem, in Cole’s opinion, with Whole Foods, is that you can never find anything generic there. Everything is made by super expensive, obscure, all-natural brands you’ve never heard of. You can never just, like… get milk. You have to look through all the oat milk and cashew milk and coconut milk before you can find the 100% Organic All-Natural Five-Dollar Milk.

And forget about getting normal cereal. The pickings are bleak. You can’t find an ounce of sugary, old-fashioned breakfast in the place.

Cole considers it a hate crime.

“Babe, why don’t you just get these?” Ben reaches onto the shelf, and turns around with a box of Puffins. He shakes the blue box, and raises his eyebrows pointedly. “They’re pretty good.”

Cole rubs both of his temples. “I don’t— B, I don’t want to get Puffins; they taste like fucking cardboard.” Ben is laughing at him, which just increases his cereal frustration. “I just want Trix,” he tells him, and surveys the all-natural hipster shelves in despair. “Why don’t they have Trix?”

Ben returns the Puffins to the shelf. “I don’t know that that would fit in with their brand.”

Cole lowers his voice, to avoid his shit-talking being overheard by judgey Whole Foods patrons who swear by this place. “That’s because their brand is stupid,” he hisses, and Ben laughs at him some more— or really, just chuckles, and ruffles his hair where his green beanie isn’t covering it.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Ben says. It’s easy to forgive him, because his choice in grocery stores may make shopping a pain in the ass, but he’s Ben, so whatever. “I’ll take you to another store, if you want.”

Cole sighs. That would be easier, but he doesn’t want to cause an issue, so he sweeps his eyes over the shelves again and wonders if he can make peace with the lack of good taste among Whole Foods cereal brand selectors. “I guess I can try one of these.”

“Okay,” Ben says, still grinning lopsidedly, and then sidles up next to him. “I’m gonna go get trail mix,” he murmurs, sliding a hand down to squeeze his. “If you can’t find something you like, it’s no biggie, okay?”

“I’ll try to,” he replies, and sighs at the shelf in what he hopes is a dramatic manner. “But only for you.”

Ben squeezes his hand again, kisses his cheek, and then walks away, taking their carriage with him as he goes. “Have fun.”

Cole watches him round the corner and leave the aisle, then stares down the shelves. The rows of health food cereal all seem the same— granola this, sugar-free that, all-natural whatever. It’s all good and fine for your average Whole Foods customer, like a yoga instructor or whatever. It’s probably even fine for Ben. It’s just… Cole is a creature of habit, and he likes eating his sugary cereal out of a mug while sitting on the counter at home before he starts his day. It helps with his creative process. And also he likes it.

Routines. They’re important.

He’s so caught up in resentfully staring at the healthy cereals that he doesn’t register when someone else walks into the aisle. He twists the sole of his Docs into the ground, and folds his arms while he studies the inventory. Organic Cinnamon Crunch Cereal looks okay, kind of like Cinnamon Toast Crunch for healthy people, but that’s not really his favorite regular cereal to eat in the first place. There are a bunch of unsweetened Cheerio knockoffs, and even more of Raisin Bran. Annie’s Organic Fruity Bunnies & Blossoms are multicolored. Could they do the trick?

He reaches for the shelf— but that’s when he sees the person in his peripheral vision. “Oh—!” There’s someone standing off his shoulder, a normal distance away, and he realizes all at once that he’s completely blocking them off from all the cereal. “Oh, shit,” he says, and looks to the person as he steps back. It’s a probably college-aged girl, with her hair dyed blue. “Uh, I’m so sorry— I didn’t, uh— I didn’t see you. Am I, uh, in your way?” He tucks his hair under his beanie, from where Ben messed it up, and becomes increasingly aware that the girl is just looking at him as he speaks. “Do you— need cereal?”

“Oh my gosh,” she says, finally, and shakes her head. “No, I’m sorry. I just— um.” She takes a deep breath and adjusts the strap on her cross-body purse, and then smiles shyly and says, “Sorry, I just… I love your music?”

Oh— oh . Cole thinks his eyes probably boggle out of his head, as he realizes why this random person is looking at him in the grocery store. “Oh,” he breathes, and takes a step back. “Wait— wait, really?”

“Yeah!” The girl’s smile widens, and she fixes her purse strap again. “Sorry, I know you’re, like— trying to shop. I didn’t want to bother you. I just realized it was you, and— yeah. I’m sorry.”

“No— wait, please, uh— don’t be sorry.” His heart might pound out of his chest, and not just because he’s been caught off guard. It’s one thing to see people support your music online or on the radio, all through electronic wires. It’s another thing completely to be recognized in the fucking grocery store . Whole Foods, of all places. He tries his damndest to assume a socially functional public persona. “You don’t have to apologize at all,” he assures Blue Hair Girl. “That’s— uh, really cool? That you know my music?”

“Are you kidding?” Her grin lingers— so he guesses he isn’t acting awkward enough to scare her off. “Of course I know it.” She’s now holding onto the strap of the purse altogether. Her nails are painted black, like his are. “I first heard ‘Stay Alive’ on the radio around, uh… maybe December? I’ve followed you ever since.” She pauses a second after that, while Cole screams internally, because there is a real person standing in front of him in real life who recognized him because of his music— and then she goes, “Sorry. That sounds weird. But I just— yeah, I love your album.”

“Thank you,” he says, before she can second guess what she’s saying any more. “Thank you so much. I— uh, you have no idea how much it means to me that you said something.”

Blue Hair Girl tucks a blue strand behind her ear. “I have tickets to one of your Providence shows for the tour.”

“No way,” he laughs. This is good practice, he realizes— because only a couple months from now, he’ll be on an actual tour, the first of his life, and he’ll be meeting people on the regular who know him because of his music, and that’s, like— fucking terrifying , but he could not be more excited about it, at the same time. Blue Hair Girl, he realizes, is just the beginning. This is how life can be for him, now. “That’s amazing,” he tells her. “I hope you enjoy it.”

“I can’t wait,” she says, and then glances from side to side and grows a little more sheepish. “You, um, definitely don’t have to do this,” she begins, “but would you be okay with taking a picture with me?”

Cole is going to combust, in the middle of the grocery store. He’s about to ask her if she’s serious, but the hesitant smile on her face tells him that she definitely is serious. Which is so fucking crazy! Is this real life? He gathers his composure, and nods. “Uh, yes— yeah, definitely. Hold on. I think…” He scans the aisle, just like she did a second ago, and frowns when Ben is nowhere in sight. He did warn him that he was going to the trail mix aisle. Wherever that is. “I think my boyfriend is around here somewhere; he can take it for us,” he tells Blue Hair Girl. “I just, uh— don’t know where he went.”

“You don’t have to get him,” she replies, and lifts her phone out of her bag, turning on its front camera and flashing a thumbs-up. “We can just do a selfie.”

“Oh— right.” He rubs his own forehead. “Yeah. A selfie.” In his idiocy, he thinks he might have forgotten that selfies existed for a second. He’s the certified worst not-famous famous person ever. “Sorry,” he laughs, and hopes, when Blue Hair Girl snaps their picture and he grins awkwardly at the screen, that his face isn’t too red. “Did you get it?”

“Yeah!” She turns to him, and she’s grinning again, no longer looking sheepish. “Thank you so much,” she says, holding her phone to her chest like it’s a prize. “My girlfriend is gonna be so jealous.”

Cole laughs again, and still thinks he’s probably red in the face. He wonders if there’s something else he can do for her— and he probably can, right? “Hey, uh— what’s the date of your show?”

“October 28th,” replies Blue Hair Girl, and he catalogues that for future knowledge.

“Cool,” he says, and nods. By then, he’ll have completed his tour of the country; Providence is the last stop. He’d be lying if he said he weren’t intimidated by that thought; it’s a lot of new experience to get himself through before he winds up home again. But Blue Hair Girl makes it a little more real. With every passing day, he’s getting closer to his dream.

Actually, no. He’s already living it. As if he needed proof, a stranger in Whole Foods wants a selfie with him.

“I’ll see you there, then,” he says. She beams, and he adds, “Wait— and what’s your name?”

“Oh—” She slides her phone into her bag again. “It’s Amelia.”

Amelia— he can remember that. Providence, October 28th. He’ll do a shoutout or something. “It was nice to meet you,” he says.

“You, too!” she cries, and laughs a little; her tangible excitement just floors him even more. “I’ll leave you to your shopping,” she adds. “Thank you so much, though. For the picture. And the music.”

He fixes his beanie again. He can’t believe he made it through this interaction in one piece. Does this count as his first meet-and-greet? “You’re welcome.”

Amelia leaves the aisle on the opposite end from where Ben disappeared, and Cole takes a second to himself, to process the fact that that truly, actually did just happen to him.

Holy shit . Life is happening. Right in front of his eyes. He has an album out in the real world. He’s going on tour in less than six months. He’s getting recognized in grocery stores .

It’s only when Ben reappears— and with him, the cart, newly stocked with two bags of trail mix— that Cole realizes he’s been standing in front of the cereal and hasn’t picked out a type. “How’d it go?” Ben asks, as he walks back down the aisle to meet him. “Find something edible?”

Cole jumps onto the end of the carriage Ben isn’t pushing. “Somebody just recognized me.”

Ben raises an eyebrow, and grins halfway. “What?”

“Somebody— this girl?” He waves a pointing finger around the corner where Amelia left the aisle. “Just recognized me. She asked for a picture. She has tickets to one of the Providence shows.”

“Babe, what ?” Ben repeats, and now his smile widens, and he smacks the pushing bar on the carriage with both hands. “No fucking way!” he laughs. “Did you take the picture?”

“Yeah! Yeah, I— she was just here.” He thinks maybe he laughs a little, too. He’s reeling. He cannot fucking believe that just happened to him. “She went that way.”

“ Babe ! Holy shit!” Ben’s energy right now rivals the way he used to get about making a really good save on the Kiersey hockey team. Or maybe it’s even more than that. Cole is definitely blushing now, but with Ben, there’s never any reason to get self-conscious about that. “That’s fucking amazing!”

“I know,” Cole replies, and presses a hand against his own forehead; he can tell his face is hot. “I can’t believe that,” he says. “I feel— ha .” He barely wants to say it, because he knows it sounds weird and cocky, and you can’t really jump to conclusions about yourself when you put out one successful indie album, but fuck it. There’s a first time for everything. “I feel famous,” he tells Ben.

“Baby,” Ben replies, with the world’s prettiest smile. “I think you might be a little famous.”

Cole cannot believe that this is real life. “Yeah,” he breathes, and for the moment, that’s all he can say. “Uh, maybe a little.”

Ben walks up next to him, slings an arm around his neck, and plants one on his cheek. Cole laughs, and presses his face into Ben’s shoulder, then looks to the menacing wall of healthy cereals. He feels kind of tingly inside, like the energy is everywhere. “I, uh,” he mumbles. “I couldn’t find a cereal.”

“That’s okay,” Ben replies. He squeezes him around the shoulders before he lets go. “We’ll stop on the way home.”

Cole can’t hold back his smile. He won’t admit it to Ben, but even without the unexpected, blue-haired turn of events, that was going to be his plan all along.

[m-oana-archive]

A Love Too Heavy (For Just One to Hold) pt. 2

catch up on pt. 1

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader x Remus Lupin

Words: 2,595

Summary: After pining after Y/N for years, Sirius finally gets the girl: the happy ending the story is supposed to end with.  The only problem is the fact Sirius’ feelings for Remus still haven’t seemed to go away.  But he isn’t the only one starting to question their ability to love two people at the same time.

requester: @shinysilverunicorn-blog  | read on AO3 | Masterlist

Remus’ POV 

Y/N was looking effortlessly sunkissed when she entered the library.  Remus, ever the early bird, was already at their usual table waiting.  Books were out, parchment unrolled.  But he didn’t actually begin working, just had the illusion of doing such, so that he could seem as though he was caught off guard by looking up and seeing Y/N, instead of her knowing the truth of his patient waiting for her.  About halfway across the library to their table, they caught eyes.  Y/N smiled at him, and he tapped his inked quill so quickly against the parchment he felt some blue splatter onto the back of his hand.

“Sorry I’m late,” she apologized, even though it was Remus that was early, and both of them knew it.

Remus smirked.  “What’s the expression?  A queen is never late?”

“Ha ha,” she mocked, sliding into her chair to unpack her things.  “Thanks for the compliment, but I’m not looking to run a country, just pass my N.E.W.T.’s.  Not all Slytherins are that ambitious.”  

“I could see you as royalty,” Remus said, sinking back into his chair, dramatizing the act of envisioning, enjoying that it made Y/N blush and giggle slightly.  

“Well, Sirius is already basically royalty, so that helps.”

Remus scoffed, annoyance masking other emotions.  “If that’s not true I’m not sure what is.”  

While Remus found his comment funny, something dark fell across Y/N’s face, causing her to teeter in her chair and purse her lips.  Remus’ mind scanned the exchange for anything he could have done wrong, but couldn’t find anything.  So, he went to ask what was wrong.  Before he could, she answered.

“Speaking of, you’re not mad at Sirius or anything, right?”

Every bone in Remus turned into brick.  Was it fair to say to Sirius’ girlfriend, the obvious messenger of this information, that he didn’t know?  Was it fair to say to Sirius’ girlfriend, the cause of this frustration, that he wasn’t sure where the anger was pointed at?  Was it fair to his best friend to say everything he wanted to, after hiding for so long, just to end up at more questions, ones he didn’t know the answers to?  

No.  So Remus settled with a rather choked up, “Why would I be mad?”

“He said you two were arguing.  Something small that turned into a bigger deal than it needed to be.”

Oh.  So that’s what he thinks of me saying I want him.

Remus cleared his throat, though he knew it wouldn’t help and it didn’t.  “Oh, yeah.  Um, I’m over it on a logical level.  I’m just waiting for my emotions to catch up.”

“Cool,” she smiled brightly.  “Sirius said almost the same.”

All of the furniture in the library seemed to topple over for a second.  Maybe it was the fact that Remus squinted when he thought, and everything was following the motion of the spiral of his eyelids.  Or, maybe, it was the fact that Y/N has just said Sirius wasn’t over their possibility of kissing either.  How close they had been; if Remus just leaned in slightly, it would have been breath on breath, lips on lips, with the same softness but necessity of the moonlight echoing itself onto the lake.  Was Sirius covering up the same truth Remus had been aching with for the last year?  Ever since that stupid game of spin the bottle, when Remus realized it wasn’t cockiness that made him wish the bottle would have pointed to his body on Sirius’ turn, but desire.  The hope that if Sirius would have been forced to kiss him, maybe, after doing so, it would turn into something he missed, something he longed for, something he wanted to repeat.

That was what happened to Remus, after all.

It was a tall order, though, asking Sirius to switch adorations overnight.  Sirius had yearned over Y/N so deeply and thoroughly—Remus once found a scrap of a love poem while cleaning, which caused him pain both from its cheesiness and from a jealousy he had yet to name—it was hard to imagine him loving someone else.  Especially someone as ugly and flawed in comparison to her.

Sitting with her here, now, and every time before this, Remus couldn’t blame Sirius for wanting to be with her.  She seemed to have the best parts of all of them: Sirius’ mindless beauty, James’ massive heart, Peter’s agreeability, and Remus’ quickness.  And then, of course, all of the wonderful qualities that were definitively hers.  There were fleeting times in their shared sanctuary of the library that Remus forgot Sirius and his feelings for him.  Where, in the privacy of their similarities, Remus forgot he could be happy with anyone except Y/N.  

To restrain complications, he labeled those moments as I’m that happy because I’m forgetting about Sirius, or My feelings for Sirius are valid because of how happy she is with him.  There was a third option, of course, but that thought was a rainstorm he didn’t want to walk into.  

“Cool,” he agreed.  He smiled back at Y/N, genuinely because he was happy to be with her, but also with a certain grittiness, because he was too conflicted to be happy in general.  The hidden indifference of it seemed to set the tone for the rest of the meeting, which was far more focused and serious than ones they had had more recently.  So focused, in fact, neither noticed the sunset streaking the sky, followed by black falling around outside.

The next interruption was hours later, by Ms. Greenpaw, the librarian about to retire.  Remus adored her instantly; she wore thick, circular coral glasses and called everyone “honey,” even when upset.  He wasn’t sure if it was the hours they spent in the library, Ms. Greenpaw’s looming retirement, or both, but Remus and Y/N were granted an extra set of magical keys to close the library up if she left before they did.

“Hi, you two,” she said, pulling Remus’ head out of his book.  “Well, I’m headed out for the night.  I spelled off most of the candles in here, but I can put more on if you need more.”

Remus looked up; Ms. Greenpaw wasn’t kidding: every chandelier and sconce was dark except the one over their heads and one near the grand doors.  Something inside of him said this was romantic, making him ready to deny, until—

“I’m perfectly fine,” Y/N responded.  “Remus?”

He blanked for a moment.  “Yeah, uh… my eyes are already so tired, the softer light is actually pretty nice.”

“Wonderful!  Well, I’ll leave you both to it, then.”

Y/N called out a note of thanks to Ms. Greenpaw as she walked off—something Remus was still too startled to do.  As soon as the doors closed, promising their security, Y/N sofly said Remus’ name.  He looked up to her, eyes still slightly narrowed from reading his book.  

“You’ve been so quiet,” she said.  She wouldn’t meet his eyes fully, her focus refusing to settle.  “I know you don’t usually have issues with Sirius, and you’d think that I’m probably the last person who’d want to hear them fully, since we’re dating.  But I don’t want you to feel like you have to keep secrets from me.  You’re still my best friend.”

She shifted in her seat before continuing: “I know something’s changed since I started dating Sirius.  You’ve been more closed off.  I don’t want to pretend I know why.  So if you want to talk about it, I’m still here for you.”

A new guilt rose inside of Remus; he had experienced regret from having feelings for Sirius, for those feelings not disappearing the moment Sirius and Y/N got together, and for not knowing the difference between jealousy and desire.  But, he had never fathomed that the closed-off-ness he developed while trying to suppress his dangerous emotions would make Y/N believe he no longer trusted her.

The thought was so overwhelming he immediately said, “You’re one of the most important people in the world to me.  And I…” He tilted his head down, unable to bear even her dim silhouette.  “I didn’t mean to hide.  But it’s better that way.  Trust me.”

“Remus, nothing can be bad enough I don’t care to know.”

Remus considered the gravity of her statement for a second.  Obviously, she couldn’t blame him for loving Sirius.  But what would she think of him not knowing how he felt about her?  Not understanding how those could exist at the same time?  It seemed impossible.  

“No,” Remus decided at once.  He got up the next instant, sloppily swiping his belongings into his bookbag.  “No.  It is bad enough.”

He heard his name being called from across the table, but was off, walking so quickly to the door he was almost running.  He heard books sliding across wood, a chair scraping against the floor, a sound that must have been Y/N’s shoes hitting the tile behind him in quick succession, suggesting she was sprinting to catch up to him.  But his focus on the door was relentless.  Then, there was a tug on his arm that couldn’t be ignored.  Out of the surprise of it, his body spiraled around itself: an effect Y/N must not have had anticipated, as she continued moving forwards, resulting in her running into Remus head-on.

“Y/N,” he gasped.  He tried to steady her, but she did so first by clutching onto the shirt fabric around Remus’ chest.  Out of some instinct that could not be named, Remus felt his hand moving, fingers gripping around her wrist.

After a few moments of catching her breath, Y/N looked up at Remus.  It was only at that moment that Remus recognized how close they were to one another.  She already had her hands on him, softening them as she became more stable, and he became dizzier.  Especially with the single light behind her, distant now, which made what could happen next seem like a secret capable of keeping, a risk worth taking, a mistake worth making.  The world was the way the candlelight shone upon her face, making Remus’ hand twitch with the desire to trace those shadows.

“Y/N,” he said.  But it was different this time.  

She looked up at him.  At his eyes.  At his lips.  Remus was going to die right there, in the middle of the library, a corpse good for nothing except loving people he could not bear the affections of.  But then, her gaze dropped to the floor.  Her voice wavered.  “Remus, I just…”

“I know,” he sighed, nodding in defeat.  There were things Remus knew he excelled at—school, not getting in trouble for pranks, hiding the fact he is a werewolf—but in some aspects of life, he had to accept he would always be second to Sirius Black.  This was one of them.  His corpse was back to being good for nothing except loving people he could not have.  

“But you really don’t.  It’s not… this has nothing to do with you.  Alright?  I just need you to know that much.”

“Thanks for the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech,” Remus scowled.  “How comforting.  I’m touched.”  He wanted to put his hand to his heart for dramatic effect, but Y/N’s hands were still on his chest.  Regardless of how he knew the length of time they stayed there would make their release all the more painful, Remus wanted them to stay, the pathetic idiot he was.  

“It’s not like that,” Y/N said.  “I just can’t do that to Sirius.  To be honest, I think I’m in love with him.  And I think he might feel the same.”

Remus scoffed: Y/N saying Sirius might love her was the understatement of the century.  But he didn’t focus on that.  He couldn’t.  Instead, what intrigued him was this thought: “So, in the condition, you weren’t with Sirius, you’d kiss me.  Is that what you’re saying?”

Remus was surprised at how calm his voice came out; he was even more surprised, however, by how panicked Y/N’s was.  “Listen… it’s just that I may have had a massive thing for you when we first met, and for a bit afterward.”  Remus was sad and elated all at once; to know he could be loved was revolutionary, but realizing he had missed his chance with the girl he now was mad for was an emptiness that was beginning to slowly eat him from the inside out.

He covered all of the sinews of his emotions with anger: “So what you’re saying is that you only chose Sirius because I wasn’t available?”

“No,” Y/N demanded.  She yanked her hands back to her own body: a testament to her level of frustration.  “I didn’t go to him because I was sad and lonely and heartbroken and wanted to use him.  I liked him at the same time as you.  I just couldn’t figure out who I liked more.  You took yourself out of the running, so I accepted his invitation to Hogsmeade.  And I’m happy I did.”

Remus blinked, dazed.  “Can you say that again?”

“Why?  You heard me.”

“No, just the part—”

“The part where I refuted your claim that I only wanted to date Sirius because I couldn’t date you, which, if I would have done, would make me a rude, selfish, manipulative person?”

“I didn’t…” Remus struggled, biting the bottom of his lip in agony, wishing he could bring her closer so she could see the blood that was sure to come up, how much he hated himself for having said that.  “I didn’t mean that.  Okay?  I’ve been such a git today.  I’ve been completely awful to you.  I’m sorry for saying that, and for making you think I didn’t trust you.  I’m just… I’m really confused about some things right now.  And I’m taking it out on you.  I’m sorry.”  

Suddenly, all of the anger, the screaming, the vehemence disappeared, leaving nothing but a quietness strong enough to drive any man crazy.  Remus stood as Y/N considered him, her thoughts impossible to know.  She kept looking and thinking.  Remus was just standing.  It felt like forever.

She finally spoke.  “I don’t want to force anything out of you,” she said, words were spoken with meticulous care that echoed what they meant.  “I just think that maybe you’re exploding because you’re bottling things up, and nothing can be figured out if it’s never put out into the world to be understood.”

Remus wanted to protest, but every part of his body that wasn’t his mouth knew that Y/N was right, so he couldn’t.  Instead, he shook his head.  “I don’t think you’re going to like what you are going to hear.”

“We’ve already fought,” Y/N shrugged.  “If it’s bad enough it’s doing that, I think we’ve got to just rip the bandaid off.”

Remus breathed in deeply, closing his eyes.  There were so many confusing truths inside of his body; if someone were to put his tears in a Pensieve, all that would be floating around were thoughts of Y/N and Sirius, together, apart, in love, in love with him.  He saw them all right now in the black of his eyelids.  But how many to say now?  Which to choose first?

Some part of Remus that wasn’t his mind answered for him.

“Y/N, I have feelings for Sirius.”

⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥

PART THREE IS AVAILABLE NOW!!! Read here. 

⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added): @astertist @beskarjedi @bluemadcnna @boring-viola @carolinesbookworld @finnofamerica @fortisfiliae @gabriel-r3ap3r-reyes @gryffndor @jamcspotters @just-some-nerd @lonelyheart-jadedsoul @neewtmas @portkeys-and-prose @siriusement @siriuslyimmoony @sly-vixen-up2nogood @swellwriting @the-apple-princess @theboywhocriedlupin @who-cares-unknown @woakiees @wzardings @samcycle @luckygirl144

[sebastianshaw]

And I’m sure Snowbird getting a happy ending had nothing to do with her being a blonde white woman and Haven being a dark skinned woc

I don’t think it was THE reason, but I would not rule it out as a contributing factor.

The major reason is that Snowbird is a hero and a major character, whereas Haven was an extremely minor character and a villain. So it’s pretty standard in that regard for Snowbird to get a happy ending, and Haven not to. Especially considering that, while Snowbird was not a character that “belonged” to anyone in particuliar, Haven was the creation of DeMatteis and when he left the book, so did she. That’s why her story just ENDS so abruptly after her confrontation with Charles, even though it seems like it should just be getting starting---her creator took off, and the new writer wasn’t interested in her.

She pops back up in the annual a year or two later to die, and I strongly suspect this was due to readers writing in and asking what happened to her; I can’t confirm this for fact, but TV Tropes claimed that fans actually refused to root against her because she was so sympathetic and benevolent, so I imagine a lot of them wanted to know where she went and this was to get them to shut up.

(It kind of reminds me of when this webcomic writer wrote a character he meant as despicable and twisted, and she was, but she was also way more deep and interesting than the 2D mouthpieces the protagonists were, so fans kept asking when she’d come back. He got so fed up he drew her dying in a gross and humiliating way. So yeah, if people were indeed asking “what happened to Haven and her evil possessed fetus?” and writing her dying in the mud giving birth while a goddess victim-blames her was the response...yeah. Again I cannot be for sure this is what happened, it’s just a GUESS.)

But yeah the big reason is Snowbird is a heroine and important, Haven was a flash-in-the-pan villain that only one writer wanted to write and had to be gotten out of the way when someone new came in. Nothing deeper than that. But the WAY that Haven’s story played out, especially compared to Snowbird’s...that’s got a lot of sexism and quite potentially racism there, yeah. So um, let’s get into that. Under a cut for length because I doubt people following a Shaw blog for Shaw want to see a bunch of non-Shaw rambling.

Haven’s story, as I have written about MANY times on her blog, is REALLY UNCOMFY in its sexism, racism, and xenophobia. Let me say, I do not think DeMatteis intended this. He writes Haven as a very kind, well-intentioned person even at her worst, and I happen to know he has a genuine real-life interest in Indian spirituality, which I think is definitely what inspired her. Unfortunately, these good intentions didn’t stop Unfortunate Implications galore: - Our first Indian/Hindu/Zoroastrian character is not only a villain, her “evil” philosophy is taken directly from real-world Hindu beliefs - She is opposed by a team comprised ENTIRELY of white people who work for the US government who scoff at those beliefs and refer to them as “New Age” (aka a white hippie movement that appropriated a lot of actual Hindu ideas but certainly did not invent it!) - The US government says she’s a terrorist. Polaris raises doubts, because Haven’s actions at that point have been nothing but benevolent (she saved Polaris) whereas the same government making these accusations has been malevolent (the people trying to kill/capture Polaris were US agents, despite Polaris working for the government, who attacked her because she had the same energy signal as Magneto) When they go to see Haven in person, she’s preaching peace between humans and mutants. Havok opens fire on her---so basically, a law enforcement officer shooting without warning at an unarmed WOC who isn’t doing anything threatening and they don’t even know has superpowers yet--and Haven has to hit the deck. Despite her own great power that we later learn she has, she never retaliates. But we find out that yes, actually, everything the government said about her is true, she’s leading a terrorist death-cult, and so it’s a-okay that our white government cop FIRED A FUCKING PLASMA BURST AT HER WHEN SHE WAS JUST STANDING THERE. The moral of her story is seriously “this brown woman with a funny religion is a terrorist because the government said so, no matter how nice and gentle she seems, and thus any excessive force against her was definitely justified even if we didn’t know that at the time” like it’s CHILLING. - Haven herself actually has very questionable agency in all this. She’s actually been pregnant for twenty years; her unborn child is permanently in the first trimester and possessed by the powerful demon known as The Adversary (which doesn’t make sense timeline-wise, but I have no doubt this thing can time travel, its entire point is to fuck the rules of universal order) We don’t know exactly how much it can influence her or perhaps even control her, but we do know it’s been talking in her head from 20 years and came on at a time she was REALLY messed up and vulnerable, and manipulated her at the least. I personally think it probably was controlling or influencing her at a very deep subtle level, but that’s just my interpretation. At the least though, again, talking in her head for 20 years, that’s the supernatural equivalent of schizophrenia and we wouldn’t blame her for THAT, right? - Oh, and about it appearing when she was at her lowest, most vulnerable point? Know why she was at her lowest, most vulnerable point just when she happened to be pregnant? Haven’s story is she was born extremely rich but was so passionate about using her privilege to help the poor that she ran away from her parents---philanthropists themselves, but who wanted to protect her from the outside world too---to go work directly in the streets, bathing lepers and cradling dying babies. She got her name “Haven” because she used her wealth to renovate a children’s hospital of the same name, I’m serious. She was literally a fucking SAINT. And then she fell in love with a man, and he used her, knocked her up, and ran off. She was DEEPLY ashamed and berated herself not only for her loss of “purity” but also for being “selfish” and forgetting the children. This is...so sad, and so DEEPLY entrenched in how women, ESPECIALLY women of color in a colonized culture, are considered “selfish” and “evil” if they don’t utterly sacrifice themselves 24/7 to care for others and dare have wants/needs of their own. So she fell into this deep despair and that’s when her fetus starts talking to her and filling her head with twisted lies that preyed on both her devout spirituality and her desire to help others.

There is no more sympathetic villain setup POSSIBLE, you’d think Haven would be a SHOE-IN for a redemption arc or at least being saved from her own “child”, but she gets neither. She dies alone in the mud, having only now realized as the birth is coming just what it is she’s about the bring into the world. Roma, the Omniversal Guardian Goddess and eternal foe of the Adversary, appears to watch. Haven begs her, not to save her own life but to stop the Adversary from the terrible things it’s going to do to the world. To her last breath, her concern is others. And Roma tells her “I would weep for you, but you brought this on yourself.” So basically, Haven, who is the most wonderful person in the world and who VERY much fits expected gender roles (gentle, maternal, loving, non-violent even when attacked, long hair, pink and purple flowing clothes, literally SPARKLES) has sex ONE TIME and she’s punished for it in the worst fucking way while the guy who impregnated her gets off scott-free. It’s just...it’s the worst narrative, in terms of sexism AND racism AND just in general. That’s not even getting into, say, the really uncomfy way her meeting with Xavier is handled, eesh. Compare, Snowbird. She’s actually far LESS the “perfect” woman than Haven is, she’s very cold and aloof and she even contemplates LETTING HER SON DIE so that her ties with mortality will be severed and she can join her divine family in paradise. But she had that son within the confines of MARRIAGE to a mortal man, and she only got married after her duties were done, unlike Haven on both counts. And her loss, and the loss of her child, are deeply mourned by those around her, she has a very dignified and beautiful funeral with Snow White style glass coffins, and we see the spirits of herself, her husband, and her child all ascend to the Inua paradise together, the gods having decided to let them in even though mortals have never been allowed before. She gets divine exception, Haven gets divine condemnation. She gets a beautiful funeral surrounded by loved ones, Haven’s corpse is probably still rotting in the jungle and her brother likely still has no idea what happened to her. To be clear I in no way resent Snowbird for her better treatment in a similiar story, I like Snowbird, but it is very disparate in how differently these seemingly similar situations---possessed baby and such---were handled, and the specific ways in which Haven’s were handled so badly ARE very much the product of bigotry that Snowbird didn’t suffer in part due to her being a white or white-coded character (in addition to being, again, a heroine and a major character, which helped her a lot too) Also, is it just me or is Marvel like...weird around childbirth/babies/motherhood and mixing that with demons/evil spirits/possession? Because in that same vein we’ve also got Madelyne Pryor and Wanda Maximoff who also go through demonic possession that’s related in some way to being mothers of babies. That’s a very strange pattern to have and something’s going on there.   As a note, it bugs me that Snowbird’s human disguise as “Anne McKenzie” is a BLONDE WHITE WOMAN. Like, yes, her human father was white, but her mother Nelvanna is one of the Inua, the ancient gods of Canada from LONG before white people showed up and WHO LOOK LIKE FIRST NATIONS PEOPLE, Snowbird herself is constantly emphasized as a child of these lands, she is literally magically BOUND to these lands and can’t leave them without weakening and dying, she was raised by an indigenous shaman, and she can only turn into animals that are INDIGENOUS to Canada. She is very unsubtly the embodiment of pre-colonial Canada, so it’s just...asinine to me her human form is that of a colonizer. I get they probably didn’t think further than “let’s give her human form blonde hair so it’s recognizably her” but like, that’s the problem, they didn’t THINK. Also I feel like her being mixed would really thematically fit her, since a strong part of her story was struggling between her divine and human heritage and being forced to try to “pick a side” which is something I’ve heard (I’m white) that a lot of irl mixed people deal with. It just would make more SENSE.

[andthemoonwalks]

did something in particular happen at work or was it just overall bad? I'm really sorry you had such a shitty time though :-( ❤️

I should preface this by saying that I think I'm close to getting my period so I think that has a lot to do with Everything tonight

anyway this is going to be the stupidest explanation you've ever heard but I dont control the way my brain works and this is my vent blog so whatever

so. we have to backtrack to last night first for some context. normally on Fridays I'm on till because I dont like being on makeline especially on Friday nights because its stressful and I've cried. a few times. anyway last night I was on till but they didnt have that many people to be on makeline and our phones are supposed to ring anymore so I stayed on makeline trying to be helpful and so my tips for the night were super shitty. and I know that sounds like I'm just being bitchy but I've learned that it's better to use cash to buy food throughout the week because it's easier for me to recognize when I'm low on funds or whatever and Friday nights and Saturdays are when I get a good amount of my food money for the week, so I kind of count on the tips from those nights.

then today the day was okay I had a guy get shitty with me but whatever but I got taken off till at like four or five and alexis did it and I was like um? whatcha doing? and she told me Hollie told her to and I was like okay whatever so I went and bitched at Hollie and she was like I'm just trying to make it easier for you to go home so no one has to count your money and I didnt want to have to explain the whole cash thing so I was like fine whatever but I was pissed and then judy needed me to go help on makeline

so I did but I was making noise the whole time about how I was done topping pizzas for the day and about how I wanted to quit and i wanted to go home and i started crying a little bit when i got over there which is why I think my period should be soon but also I've been super tired all the time lately so it could have been that. anyway, the point is I was really just making noise, and most of it wasnt serious, and all of it was either in the general sense, or directed at hollie.

then alexis stops stopping pizzas, and walks over to dough and Judy is like um. what are you doing and alexis says I'm making a papadia dough and Judy was like no you're not theres pizzas on the screen and alexis looks at me and goes no I'm sick of this childish bullshit about how if you have to top another pizza you'll quit I'm not doing it anymore and I was like I didnt even say that that's not what I said but fucking whatever fine (also it's important to note that I had been making breadsticks the whole night and she hadn't been marking them off the screen so we kept having to make extras so she would mark them off and we ended up with four extra orders of breadsticks because she couldnt fucking pay attention) so anyway I topped the pizzas and cleared the screen meanwhile I'm so pissed I'm shaking and just waiting for her to say one more thing to me to give me a reason to scream at her and quit but she didnt say shit to me the rest of the night

and like I make a lot of noise about quitting just because if I dont say it out loud then itll bottle up and I'll lose it one day and actually quit but before she yelled at me I hadn't said a single thing to alexis but she had been talking shit about me all night and pissing me off and I wish I was kidding when I say I was two seconds from walking out of that store. I dont want to quit because I really like the gm and I dont want to leave a shitty situation for my dad but if this bullshit with alexis doesnt get fixed I cant fucking work there anymore

[canchewread]

Editor's note: while I've certainly been away from Can't You Read for quite a while, anyone who follows my work at ninaillingworth.com or my Patreon blog already knows that I've been writing (and podcasting) again. You can check out some of my latest essays here, here and here; to listen to the podcast I co-host with Nick Galea (No Fugazi) just click here.

Today however I'm back on my bookworm bullsh*t with another curiously dated review of left wing literature from my extensive library of pinko pontification. In today's review, we're going to be taking a look at “The Chapo Guide to Revolution: a Manifesto Against Logic, Facts and Reason” written by five members of the popular left wing podcast “Chapo Trap House” - specifically, Felix Beiderman, Matt Christman, Brendan James, Will Menaker and Virgil Texas.

Baby Steps up the Ramparts

It is I will theorize, utterly impossible to write a review about the Chapo Trap House book without engaging in the extremely online, three-sided culture war that has sprung up around both “the Chapos” themselves and the enormously popular podcast they host. In light of the fact that seemingly everyone on the internet who detests the show regard the Chapos as slovenly crackpot losers born on third base and podcasting from mom's basement, it really is alarming how much digital ink has been spilled about the various types of “threat” to all that is good and holy this simple irony-infused podcast supposedly represents. While I intend to largely sidestep that discussion by focusing entirely on the book and not the podcast (which I don't listen to regularly, to be honest with you), I accept that virtually nobody reading this is going to be happy unless I do something to address the elephant in the room, so here goes:

Neera Tanden and her winged neoliberal monkeys can eat sh*t, but extremely online leftists have a point that the Chapos themselves occasionally skirt the line between mockingly ironic reactionary thought and just plain old reactionary thought; although this is not particularly alarming to me because they're Americans and America itself is a breeding ground for reactionary ideas – decolonizing your mind is a process and I'm pretty sure it's one I myself am also engaging in still every single day of my life at this point. Importantly, in my opinion this failing does not make them cryptofascists so much as the product of American affluence; I'm having a hard time understanding how teaching Marx and Zinn to Twitter reply guys serves the fascist agenda in any meaningful way. While I obviously can't pretend to know another person's heart, in my opinion the Chapo boys are definitely leftists but they're obviously not labor class and yes it's a little hard to explain away the group's loose affiliation with the (objectively strasserist) Red Scare podcast through co-host Amber A'Lee Frost - but I'm not going to waste a couple thousand words trying to untangle Brooklyn independent media drama from half a country away and besides, Amber didn’t write this book. Despite these critiques however, I think it's important to note that under no circumstances am I prepared to accept the argument that with fascists to the right of me, and lanyards, um also to the right, the real problem here is... Chapo Trap House.

Ok, with that out of the way let's dive right in and talk about the question I think most folks who've written about The Chapo Guide to Revolution have largely failed to grasp – namely, what kind of book is it precisely? Combining elements of comedy, playful online trolling, historical analysis, political theory and good old-fashioned cross platform promotional marketing, the book has often lead critics to compare it to catch-all comedic efforts like Joe Stewart's “America” or even humorous men’s lifestyle advice texts like “Max Headroom's Guide to Life.” This is I think an essential misreading of the fundamentally earnest and direct tone the book actually takes in its efforts to reach a fledgling audience growing more receptive to left wing ideas. The Chapo Guide to Revolution is, as the cover says, a manifesto; but rather than serving as the mission statement for a particular formed political ideology, the Chapos have written an extremely effective, entry-level argument for why labor-class millennials should be leftists – and, of course, why they should listen to Chapo Trap House; this is still a cross-promotional work after all.

Naturally as befits a book about a comedy podcast, albeit a very political one, the Chapo Guide to Revolution is an extremely funny book that does a remarkable job translating the type of caustic online humor previously only found in left wing Twitter circles, onto the written page. While its certainly true that this quirky style of comedy can be a little difficult to grasp for the uninitiated, and typically a cross-promotional work of this type will get bogged down in self-referential humor and inside jokes, the book mostly avoids this trap by sticking with the basics and assuming that the reader has literally never heard an episode of Chapo Trap House, which in turn makes the humor fairly universal and extremely accessible – at least for anyone under the age of fifty. This endeavor is greatly aided by the dark and dystopian, yet hilariously eviscerating art of Eli Valley; a man who himself has since become one of the leading left wing critics of establishment power online through his extremely provocative sketches and ink work.

The truth however is that if the Chapo Guide to Revolution was merely just a funny book, I wouldn't be reviewing it here today. No, the reason this book is worth writing about at all lies in the fact that underneath all the jokes, taunts and “half-baked Marxism” lies an objectively brilliant work of historical analysis, cultural critique and left wing political theory – albeit an unfocused theory that borrows heavily from half a dozen functionally incompatible left wing thinkers and literary giants, but a fundamentally serious work of political philosophy nonetheless.

Yes, that's correct; I said brilliant. Where think-tank minions and neoliberal swine in the corporate media see a petulant pinko tantrum, and  online leftist academics see privileged dudebros appropriating Marx (poorly), I see a brilliant and yet stealthy synthesis of political theories, historical analysis and organizational ideas originally presented by writers like Howard Zinn, Noam Chomsky and Thomas Frank. Drawing on historical theories from Marx, Gramsci and Rocker, the Chapos have cobbled together a rudimentary political philosophy that represents a crude and yet promising welding of anarchist concepts about labor, Marxist concepts about economics and democratic socialist concepts about politics, collected together under the generic banner of “socialism.”

At this point some of you are undoubtedly snickering, but please bear with me for a moment here because what the Chapos (or their ghostwriter) have done in this book is truly a marvelous thing to behold precisely because you can't see it unless you're paying close attention. By positioning The Chapo Guide to Revolution as both a comedic work and an introductory level text, the authors have created a sort of unique crash course in left wing history, geopolitics, philosophy and political theory for a newly awakened generation of Americans who find themselves increasingly politicized whether they like it or not.

Underneath the acerbic millennial humor, “extremely online” diction and unrelenting waves of sarcasm, The Chapo Guide to Revolution is also a surprisingly accurate “CliffsNotes” style textbook presentation of multiple broad-based social science subjects – here are just a few examples:

In “Chapter One: World” the book presents a rudimentary and yet deliciously insightful history of post-World War II American empire that draws on authors like Howard Zinn and Noam Chomsky, with a touch of contemporary writers like Greg Grandin and Naomi Klein. In particular the attention devoted to condensing the target audience's formative experiences with empire like the War on Terror, the invasion of Iraq and the war in Afghanistan, into a short and coherent narrative that can be easily shared with other novice political observers makes this book an invaluable resource for budding millennial leftists  Additionally, while it certainly might have been an accident, the Chapos' choice to wrap this “Pig Empire geopolitics for newbs” lesson in a protracted joke about America as an extremely ruthless corporate startup at least touches on ideas presented by writers like Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz, Sheldon Wollin (or Chris Hedges repeating Sheldon Wolin), Joel Bakan, Rosa Luxemburg and others.

In Chapters Two and Three, entitled “Libs” and “Cons” respectively, the authors conduct a remarkably thorough political science lesson on the two major mainstream political “ideologies” in American culture, including both a rough outline of their history and their modern calcification inside the Democratic and Republican parties. Of course both of these sections rely heavily on the personal experiences of the authors growing up in a politicized America, but these discussions also dip into the works of Thomas Frank and Cory Robin to explore and critique the liberal and conservative political mindset respectively; in particular the Chapos summary of Robin's work on the conservative worship of hierarchies is an inspired distillation. More importantly however, the Chapos also expose the way in which these two ideologies represent a false dichotomy within the greater confines of a larger capitalist socioeconomic order; which is of course a (still absolutely correct) idea straight out of the works of Karl Marx.

In Chapter Six, appropriately entitled “work” the authors engaged in a disarmingly earnest discussion about wage slavery, the false promises of the protestant work ethic and the history of terrible jobs available to the labor class under various iterations of the capitalist project. This is followed by a humorous, but dystopian review of what future jobs might look like if the neoliberal socioeconomic order continues on as it has so far, and an extremely brief but sincerely argued pitch for completely transforming the role of work in society through some from of technologically assisted anarcho-communism. This last idea is admittedly a little half-baked but you have to admire their balls when the Chapo boys flatly call for a three hour workday; a position that will undoubtedly be popular with the labor class who're currently engaged in all those sh*tty jobs the book describes earlier in the chapter. Once again this synthesis of left wing ideas about work does represent a new and unique formulation, but despite the humorous and original content you can also clearly see the influence of anarchist writers like Kropotkin, Rocker and Goldman in this chapter, as well as contemporary authors like David Graeber and Mark Blyth.

Unfortunately, if there is a downside to writing a brilliantly subversive comedy book that functions as a “my little lefty politics primer” for politically awakening millennials, it's that you simply don't have the space for an intellectually rigorous examination of all the ideas you're sharing – there is after all a big difference between reading the Cliff Notes version of Zinn, Chomsky or Marx, and reading the original theories in their full form. Furthermore, the individual life experiences, idiosyncrasies and humor styles of the authors do at times bleed into the text in a way that I personally suspect was detrimental to the overall analysis. Here's a short list of “sour notes” I found in this otherwise remarkable book:

From what I have listened to of the Chapo Trap House podcast, it has always been my impression that the Chapos were particularly effective critics of American corporate media, so I was a little disappointed that the chapter on media in The Chapo Guide to Revolution was a fairly tepid and narrow discussion about (admittedly vapid) bloggers turned celebrated pundits. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure power dunking on the likes of Matty Yglesias, Meagan McArdell and Andrew Sullivan was viscerally satisfying for the book's target audience, but there's really not much of a broader critique of the media's ideological role in American capitalism and culture here like one would find in Herman & Chomsky's “Manufacturing Consent”, Matt Taibbi's “Hate Inc” or Michael Parenti's “Inventing Reality.” This absence I fear has the tragic side effect of reinforcing the idea the American corporate media sucks because egg-shaped moron bougie pundits are bad at their job and not because of the inherent failings of the for-profit media model and the institution's true role as an ideological shepherd keeping the masses aligned with the goals of elite capital and the ruling classes – almost exclusively against the bests interests of the labor class.  

The introduction is written in what I can only assume is a sarcastic imitation of right-leaning self improvement books with a touch of Tyler Durden's Fight Club ethos thrown in; this might have been a better choice in a completely different book but it's largely out of place with the rest of this book. At this point I should also say that the best part about the Kidzone intermission is that it was only two pages long. Needless to say, neither one of these sections did anything for me whatsoever.

While it's entirely possible that at forty-three years of age, I'm simply too old to really get the “millenialness” of the chapter on Culture, the simple truth is that I found most of it to be a fairly useless examination of pop culture influences the Chapos hold in reasonably high esteem. As someone who isn't particularly engaged in watching lengthy television series or regularly playing video games, I really couldn't dig into most of the material presented and the less said about the art jokes and the bizarre absurdist discussion of elevator brands, the better. There is however one rather notable exception here in the brief essay on The Sorkin Mindset, which is an objectively brilliant evisceration of the liberal obsession with the West Wing and the tragic effect that obsession has had on Democratic Party politics – this really could have gone in the chapter on “Libs” because it's that valuable of a tool for understanding and critiquing the modern liberal lanyard worldview. Finally I guess I should note that while the Chapo boys' insightful critique of the vapid “prestige TV” phenomenon is both interesting and correct, it really only “matters” if you're a consumer of these types of series – and I'm not.

While I certainly understand the authors' decision to use their notes section to preemptively debunk bullsh*t complaints about the more outrageous accusations they level against the American establishment, I would have liked to see a “recommended reading” section. It is very clear that the Chapos have a reasonably strong background in imperial history, political science and labor theory and I feel like pointing readers towards writers who expand on the theories they summarize in The Chapo Guide to Revolution might have been a better use of space than printing links to old internet articles bad faith actors will never type into a search engine anyway.

Although it might seem like there was more about the book I didn't like, than I did, this is a little misleading – the first three chapters of The Chapo Guide to Revolution are pure fire and comprise over half of the volume. If you throw in the brilliant chapter about work and labor theory, the overall package is far more substance than style, despite the fact that it remains humorous and a little bit edgy throughout the book. While it's certainly fair to say that an introductory primer on why you should be a leftist for newly-politicized millennials isn't a must-read for everyone, the simple truth is that the vast majority of online leftists I know could learn a thing or two from this rudimentary synthesis of various left wing ideas into the seeds of a working, modern political ideology compatible with a uniquely Americanized, millennial left.

While no three hundred page comedy book written by five podcasters from Brooklyn is going to teach you everything there is to know about socialism and left wing ideology, there's something to be said for offering an accessible, entry-level alternative tailor-made for a target demographic already being heavily recruited by the fascists. As a starting point for exploring left wing political thought, you could do a lot worse than The Chapo Guide to Revolution and for a generation of kids who've mostly been encouraged to be passive accomplices to their own subjugation while blaming their misery on anyone even more powerless than they are, there is perhaps nothing more valuable than a condensed narrative that explores how to even think about another way to live.

Remarkably, this book finds a way to deliver on that monumental task while simultaneously failing to grasp one single relevant thing about the cherished American novel Moby Dick. Despite this infuriating literary myopia and insolence, this still might literally be the best book ever written for young American leftists who simply aren't going to spend ten years reading academic literature written by dead white guys from Germany and Russia. - nina illingworth Independent writer, critic and analyst with a left focus. Please help me fight corporate censorship by sharing my articles with your friends online! You can find my work at ninaillingworth.com, Can’t You Read, Media Madness and my Patreon Blog Updates available on Twitter, Mastodon and Facebook. Podcast at “No Fugazi” on Soundcloud. Chat with fellow readers online at Anarcho Nina Writes on Discord!

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

I want to make a big post in regards to the survey I put out yesterday and talk about the future of this blog, as well as talk about [with you], my other writings and future posts. 

This post is massive, but I want to be thorough about everything I put in the survey and the responses it got. 

Before I start, I just want to say another thank you to everyone who has been supportive of me and this blog, and to everyone who took the time to take the survey and leave me feedback. 

Except for the 3 people [which I’m not even convinced is 3 separate people tbh] who answered NO on every single question and the proceeded to write paragraphs about how my blog and writings are awful. I’m convinced this is the anon[s] who has actively sent me hate for the past few months based on the style the paragraphs were written. I know it’s you, hate anon[s], and your answers and votes have been completely scrapped. 

Anyway, with that out of the way, I do want to add that the survey will be up for the rest of the week in case anyone still wants to take it. I’ll check it every night and close it after this Sunday.  

Let’s get into this. 

I want to start by prefacing that I understand this is MY blog and I can post whatever I want. 

If I wanted to do character nights every night of the week or spend an entire day posting the same picture of Omar with stew on his face with the caption “Omar’s daily skincare routine”, then I could. 

I won’t, but I could. 

That being said, while there are things that I want to do or have thought about doing, I don’t want to do them if no one wants it. It would be a waste of time to do it anyway and then have no one read or appreciate it. That’s a big reason for this- to get a feel for what I want to do but also know what you want to see. 

This was the first thing I wanted to confirm everyone was on board with. I LOVE doing these character and ship nights and I want to keep doing them every weekend! I get so many great responses [hell, most nights I get more responses than I can answer in a single night!] and have a blast talking about them! 

So, you can imagine how happy I was to see that 92% of the answers were YES. The 8% who said NO included the 3 hate responses, but also 2 random NO’s that I was curious about. When I made the survey, I thought about adding a WHY after every question but didn’t because I wanted it to be quick. 

We’ll continue to do character nights every Saturday and ship nights every Sunday. 

We’ve only got three more Ericson kids to do for the character nights, and then we’ll spread out and do some characters from the other seasons. One thing that popped up frequently in the final response at the end of the survey was more attention to the other seasons, which is exciting! S4 may be my favorite season of the series, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love the other seasons and it’s characters. 

I mean, c’mon, it’d be a SIN to not have a Lee night, right? 

We still have plenty of ships to get through for s4, but when we eventually get through all of those, I’ll draw in other ships from the other games. 

This one is important to me. 

As far as my list of projects and future posts go, this one is the oldest. I’ve collected one-shots and multi-chapter fics and put them on my TBR list since ep2 was released. 

Initially, I thought I was going to read all of them, then make a master list of my favorites with little mini-reviews. And then my list grew past 40 fics. Every time I would look at it, I’d say, “That’s a lot, I do it later lol.” 

And then I got fed up and said, “Y’know what? Why am I making this harder for myself? Just take it 3-5 fics at a time and give them the focus and appreciation they deserve!”

So I did. 

And if felt good to finally do it. 

If any of you out there within this community haven’t ever written fanfiction, maybe you don’t like to and you’d rather just read it or you don’t have any ideas or whatever the reason may be, then you might not know [or fully understand] this: 

Writing is hard. 

It’s fun and worth it, but it is so damn hard. 

And writer’s need to be appreciated for all the hard work and time they put into these stories.

This isn’t me calling out people for reading and not reviewing. Everyone has their reason for not reviewing a fic: They didn’t like it, they don’t know what to say, they loved it but can’t express how much they love it, they don’t think about it, they left kudos or likes and that’s enough- whatever! It’s all valid. 

You as the reader don’t have to review things.

I’m just saying that reviews, when given by those who are comfortable doing so, are appreciated, are a great way to boost a writer’s confidence in their work, and let the writer know that they’re creating something good. 

As a writer myself, reviews are something I cherish. I don’t care if it’s a review that says “Love it!” or “Can’t wait for more!” or if it’s a long paragraph. ALL of it is important to me. Every kudos or like is important to me. 

As a writer, I know that one review can make or break your spirit for writing. 

I am more than comfortable leaving long reviews, both on the story itself and on these posts I’ve started creating. I want these writers to know that they are so damn talented and we appreciate them and their work.

The mindset I go into when reading and reviewing these stories is “As a writer, what’s a review that I could only ever DREAM of receiving? What’s a review that would make me want to keep writing and better myself?” 

Then I do my best to give them that review that they deserve. 

Because you never know. What if this review inspires one of these writers and then they write the most beautiful story this fandom’s ever seen? 

What if this writer was having a shitty day, or week, or month, and this review made them feel better?

What if this writer felt they weren’t good enough and was on the edge of never writing another story despite their talent and this review made them rethink that decision? 

And if I have a chance at giving them that review? I’m going to take it. 

It’s worth it. 

THIS is the kind of positivity I want to share on this blog. 

Even if I have to do it 3 stories at a time, I will continue to make these appreciation posts, and based on the 92% of YES’s on the survey, you guys want more of them which I’m grateful. 

Much like the fanfic appreciation posts, this one has been on my mind for a long time. 

Like most of you, I’ve spent years plaything these games and watching Clementine grow. Seeing her story come to its conclusion [after the very real possibility that it wouldn’t] was emotional on every level, and it continues to be emotional every time I replay the series.

If there’s one thing that I LOVE to discuss and read about, it’s how different everyone’s Clementine is. 

None of them are the same. Sure, there are things about her that we can’t change [her race and sexuality] but as far as parts of her personality, how she interacts with others, who she falls in love with, and how she raises AJ is in our hands and how we want to shape her. 

Even when we’re not playing as her our choices affect her character. 

I’ve wanted to sit down and replay the entire series all over again, focus on Clementine, take even more notes, and then write a post of how MY Clementine grew throughout the series. 

Like I said, ALL of our Clementine’s are different. I want to make this post and then see how different YOUR Clementine is compared to mine. 

I want you to read the post and say “Wait, what? That’s not what my Clementine felt or did, she [blank]” because think of the possibilities for discussion that would open up? 

Honestly, I could spend hours talking about Clementine and the effects my choices had on her. 

So, yes, this is one that I will be doing. It won’t be done right away since I’m waiting for the Definitive series to release so that I can play that version. Not only that, but it’s not like I can beat the whole thing in a couple hours. This post will take weeks to prepare and I truly can’t wait. 

I’m super excited about this one! And based on the 95% of people who said YES, y’all are excited, too! 

This one was the most, um.... “controversial”?

That might be the right word, haha. That makes it sound TOO serious. 

I actually added a [+other characters] to this question because I was trying to get across that I wanted to do character studies in general with Louis as an example, whether it be an analysis post OR a character study one-shot, like what I did with Mitch and [gross feelings]. 

However, I’m dumb and was in a hurry, so I slapped down Louis’ name and that point was COMPLETELY lost when I posted this question and that’s 100% my fault. 

I should’ve worded it: Would you be interested in character STORIES/STUDIES of Louis AND the other Ericson kids?

I guess I could go on there NOW and fix is but................ would it matter? 

I got a few comments about this one, each with the same worry about it. I won’t directly mention it here, but I want you to know that I’ve read through them carefully and I completely understand where you’re coming from. 

What I can share is basically summed up in this one sentence [which I hope this person doesn’t mind me using]:  “I think your ship posts and fanfics are better for the blog because Character studies I feel like crosses over into some other blogs and it might ruin what they have going for them since you kind of do everything?”

Fair enough. 

However, I still want to do them, just... a little differently. 

The more and more I thought about it, I think it might be fun to do more stories like [gross feelings] where it’s character-centric, told from only their POV, and delves into their feelings towards a certain topic. 

[gross feelings]: Mitch-centric, focuses on his views of romance, how conflicted he is upon realizing he has feelings for James, and how Clementine and Louis’ relationship impacted his views. 

It’s not a character study in the sense that I’m sitting down and writing down every single thing I know about him with my observations and theories about his character. It’s a story that dives into his mind.

For Louis, what if I wrote a fic based in the week after Marlon’s death and they’re preparing for the delta? Completely his POV and focuses on his conflicting feelings on Marlon, AJ, and Clementine? It’d still be a character study but within an actual story. 

Or after Clementine comes back on the brink of death and missing a leg?

Or, hell, if I want to make myself sad, I could do one based on when he loses his tongue. 

That’s more along the lines I was thinking and just worded it badly in the question I put out. In my head, it made sense so I get where those comments were coming from. Y’all are gonna have to give me feedback on if you think that’s a better direction because I think it is. 

This one I thought could be fun.

In case you don’t know, another thing that I love to discuss is changes I [and everyone else] would make to certain seasons to improve the overall story. 

For example, I don’t like the Stranger in s1 and think Jolene should’ve been the one to kidnap Clementine. 

That’s a huge change to the story and opens up a shit ton of possibilities.

This is something that I think could be an entertaining thing to write and read and discuss. Again, this won’t be done for a very long time, since I’ll have to wait until the Definitive series releases and then do the posts between each season as I finish them, which will take a while. 

Also!

One comment that was left was “What if we have season nights?” like we so with characters and ships. I think that is a wonderful idea! Not only would we be able to talk about the things we love, but we’d also get to share our different ideas for what could’ve improved the season! 

Hell, maybe we could have a season WEEKEND. Since there’s a lot to talk about with each season, a night might not be enough. Maybe instead of doing a character/ship that weekend, we dedicate both days to Season 1/2/3/4?

It could be fun!

I’m still iffy on this one, but I was surprised to see such a high amount of people answer YES. 

I’ve always thought about live streaming the final season, but I still don’t have a full grasp of how Mixer works [I play on xbox so I have to stream that way and Mixer is their way of doing it, I guess] nor do I own a headset or microphone to talk to you guys through. I could always do a silent stream, but really, where’s the fun in that??

Then again, do y’all really want to hear my cringy voice...? haha

It’s something that I want to do, though. 

I even went into the gaming section at Walmart yesterday to look at their headsets and just “.......What does any of this mean??” 

Sometimes I feel like an old lady who can’t quite grasp technology. 

Then again, I had a lot on my mind yesterday and that might’ve distracted me. Needless to say, I did not buy a headset. 

I want to do it, but I’m iffy still. That sums it up. 

I was nervous about asking this one. 

And I almost cried when I saw 95% of people said YES. 

Most of the negative thoughts that I’ve had lately are related to my writing. Like I mentioned above, writing is hard. I love it so much but holy shit, sometimes it fucks me up. 

I’ve gotten pretty good at sitting myself down, forcing all the negativity out of my mind, and just writing. I’ve done a lot of other things to help with writing and most of them have worked. It’s just been these past few weeks that I’ve relapsed into that negativity and self-doubt. 

I guess I just needed to know that this is something that you guys still wanted, and now I know. 

Now, I promised at the beginning of this that I would talk about [with you].

It’s been a long time since it’s been updated. I promised the final chapter a while ago and then I dealt with personal issues that prevented me from doing so. Then, when I went to finish it, I did. 

And it was shit. 

It was rushed and not everything I wanted it to be. I was writing it just to get it done, and that’s not what I’m about. I want to write something because I love it, not because I feel obligated to. 

I want to finish [with you], but I want to finish it the right way and it took me a long time to come to this conclusion. 

Here’s the part where I let you in on a secret: 

I haven’t just been rewriting Chapter 6. 

I’ve been rewriting the whole thing. 

Chapters 1-3 have been revised with extra scenes, better grammar, and better flow into each other. Chapter’s 4-5 are currently being reworked, and Chapter 6 is being written. 

Not only that, but I’ve split up these long-ass chapters so that they’re easier and less overwhelming to read through. 

I can already hear it: “CJ?? Post chapter 6 first??? then go back a revise?? it’s been six months??? why do you hate us??????????” 

Going back and “fixing” Chapters 1-5 have done nothing but improve Chapter 6 and the overall story. I’m sorry that it’s been so long that a lot have given up on it, but if I’m going to finish this, I’m going to finish it so that I’m proud of it. 

When the final chapter is finished, I’ll be “re-posting” the entire story on AO3, FF.net, Wattpad, and here. And what I mean by that is I’ll go in, edit the chapters and replace them with the new ones, as well as split them into their proper parts, and release the ending. I won’t take down or delete the stories because I want to keep the reviews they currently have. 

I’m just telling you this because right now, you’ll see this: 

Chapters: 5/6

And when it’s finished, you’ll see something like this:

Chapters: 10/10 [or something, I don’t know the exact number yet]

That’s where [with you] stands. 

Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me and this story. I hope you love it when it’s finished. 

I added this in as an opportunity to tell me what you wanted to see from me or suggest prompts for future stories. 

I’ve looked over all of them and tucked them away in my prompt folder. 

I added this as a “final thoughts” section where you could suggest other things or say something that’s on your mind. 

Again, I’ve looked over all of these several times and took them into consideration.

I also want to express a huge thank you for the amount of support I received while reading through them. 

I hate to get mushy-gushy here at the end of this long post [and kudos to you if you actually made it this far holy shit], but I love you all. 

Except you, hate anon[s]. Still iffy on you. 

Seriously, you guys make running this blog, writing fics, and replaying these games worth it. I can’t express how much y’all have helped me and I’m happy to still be here. Yeah, Clementine’s story is over but that doesn’t mean I’m over it and I’m happy to have so many people here who I can talk about this with. 

Thank you. ❤️

[tervacious]

Okay Boomer, or:  a random reflection on tumblr’s Recommended Blogs and what I learned from them today:

Did I finally use “Okay Boomer” correctly?  I’m GenX, so I can’t tell.

1)  Came upon an “affirmation” which read as follows:  “They are MY pronouns and I can use whichever ones I want!”

I’m begining to think a good part of the problem is kids have been so horrifyingly poorly served by the education system that they literally have no idea how the English language even operates.  On the most basic level.  In fact, never mind the English language specifically, they have no clue how LANGUAGE works.  They spend too much time online thinking they are communicating with others when really they are just talking to themselves.  This has led them to think language is a one-way street and they can dictate other people’s minds and words, and if someone won’t be dictated to that person is obviously invalidating their very existence, and also is probably Hitler.

2)  Also came upon a post explaining that asexuals have been around since 2005 because there is an internet post THAT OLD that mentions asexuality, and someone else replied “AVEN was founded in 2001!”, and they all started talking about how this historically proves for all aphobes that there’s this long rich past stretching across nearly, um, two decades, and at this point I texted my ace friend who is older than me and told her “hey, did you hear your asexuality actually PREDATES all of confirmable asexual history?” and she texted this image back to me:

which, you know, that’s fair.

And that confirms for me The Kids Today have no idea how to quantify the passage of time, and also I hate to bring it up except I don’t but in the 1970s radical feminists were embracing asexual women and also since asexuality is an orientation just like the other three orientations asexuals have always been with us and so excitedly cheering for “AVEN”, ie the single most trivializing dumbass organization that ever co-opted a sexual orientation so a male could get attention, being around since 2001 is not the brilliant argument they think it is.

Which also leads me to believe some really basic lessons in logic, argumentation and debate, I don’t know, in reality?  Would all come in handy.  But reality is not desireable for people who have no regard for building knowledge and developing anything akin to a personality.  And you can’t have a debate when you don’t know how information works, or how to have a discussion without melting down because you think pronouns somehow belong to you and that everything is about you and if someone disagrees with you they surely despise your basic humanity and want you to die or disappear.

3)  Not only is everything a total personal attack on your very right to exist as a unique and special whatever you decide you are, but the correct response to everything is still, for some reason, “YOU ARE VALID”.  I thought this might be finally going away.  I thought, for some reason, this trend of saying something so weirdly bland and, I don’t know, its sort of like saying “I hear you.”  I’ve been using that for decades when someone gets very worked up and I don’t know what else to say to both reassure them and to get me off the hook for a genuine response because they can’t handle what I’d say.  “You are valid” seems like the same thing.  “That’s valid,”  I could hear myself using that as a dodge.  But on tumblr and in junior high, I guess, do they still call it that, in middle school, it seems like it is so fucking earnest.  It’s not.  It’s just a bare minimum comment, really.  But anyway, yeah, read a lot of that today and I was like “Yeah, I hear ya.”

It’s like when new parents are brandishing their drooling red splotchy infant at you and everyone is cooing about it and saying to me “X, isn’t that a BEAUTIFUL baby???”  and I’m like,  “Wow, that’s a baby all right!”  Say it with enough verve and they think you agreed with them.  

“Yeah, that’s valid!”  I think I’ll try that next time I have to deal with yet another auntie pretending to feel bad for me for reaching perimenopause and no kids you poor thing too late now however do you deal with the sadness how do you COPE while HER daughter my cousin has just had her fifth.  “Look at this baby!”  “Wow, that’s totally valid!”

4)  Woke Trans Tumblr (c) is somehow even sadder than I remember thinking it was when I first encountered it.  I ended up on a blog with a post complaining about how HRT is STERILIZING trans youth, it’s a total attempt at EUGENICS, oh they HATE US,  followed a mere five posts later with one mocking a doctor for saying HRT “will have serious physical side effects”.

So basically I’ve decided to avoid the recommended blogs list again for a good long time.  In my defense I don’t actually know going in from the blog titles whether or not I’ll end up in the genderist miasma stumbling around in the fog of garden variety teen angst that has somehow been mistaken for a Whole Entire Identity, or if I’ll just end up perusing some random aesthetic blog filled with desaturated pictures of skinny white women and windswept fields and straw wreaths and goats.  Either way, kinda a time waster, so I think I’ll avoid all that for at least six months, which is generally how long it takes me to forget that if I leave the straight and narrow path of tumblr blogs I can tolerate I end up in even more of an intellectual wasteland.

[the-benevolent-beast]

December 5th, 4:48 pm

"William!" a sweet voice rang out into the spacious foyer and further as one of the large front doors shut and locked; Jade shook out her whole body free of the snow that clung to her fur, as it had just freshly snowed that late morning, before she started padding her way further into her old original family-name home.

The home itself was fairly large and had been constantly added onto as the Korlov's generations lived on and more members were born; which meant it was fairly spacious and... quite lonely. So many more rooms were added as Korlov's were born due to one of the odd traditions the family seemed to do- sealing a room when the resident of said room passed away; to preserve the room out of respect. Every time a member passed, a room was sealed; every time a member was born, either a room was put together for the new addition to the family or a whole new floor was built depending on the space needed. Now, on the outside of the large building it looked well put together and intentionally kept consistent, though the interior had its flares and uniqueness here and there. But again, point is; it was large, and it was lonely. With her brothers living at the new (and smaller) Korlov Estate all the way in Oregon of the US, Jade decided about a month and a half ago that she'd take up residence in the old Estate that had essentially been abandoned, though not on purpose. A month and a half ago, Jade decided to come back to her first home, and a week or so ago.. someone joined her. She had caught up to him before he had walked himself into something he would have never escaped, and she had offered him a place to stay when he admitted he had no where to go after a big argument and eye opener with his previous... 'Guardian'. So, its not as lonely anymore, thats for sure!

Light clacking of hind claws on old hardwood sounded as Jade looked around, though there seemed to be a slight quickness to her step, as if she was excited about something and wanted to find her new housemate as fast as possible. She held a large messenger type bag and brought it forward as she started to fish through it as she walked, pausing after a moment as she dug deeper into it; from an outside p.o.v, it definitely seemed bigger on the inside of the bag than it did on the outside. "Will?" she tried again, an ear flicking. "Yeah?" a curious voice rang from a floor up, along with some footsteps, at the beginning of the stairs in the cross-room; the cross-room being the room that held the stairway to the second floor and was the large room between the foyer and the spacious livingroom. Will made his way down and leaned on the railing by the landing for a moment to look down at the benevolent beast he had somehow made friends with, though he was beyond grateful he had, if anything. He was surprised really when she had offered him a place to stay, no strings attached... but oh goodness was he grateful, and honestly.. really happy she of all people had offered.

"There you are!" Jade purred, a smile on her lips as she turned to his direction, "I wanted to.. um, talk to you about something!" "What kind of something...?" He responded cautiously as he moved onto descending the stairs to join her, looking on as she finally brought out something from her bag, smiling shyly and handing it to him. It was... a Christmas themed flyer? Or at least, thats what he thought it was, as the wording was in russian but the picture depicted a decorated tree and a decorated and lit up square of some town or city who knows how far away.

"I visited the nearest town, though.. its really not near- but still! And they've decorated awfully early-" "Early? But its early December, dont people normally start decorating for Christmas around this time or sooner?" "Will- you gotta remember,, you're in Russia now, they celebrate a bit differently and at a tad later time.." "They? I thought you said you were russian?" "I am- but I say they because our fam-.. because my brothers and parents celebrated it the more American way; since we were so secluded here and since we moved out to the US to a similar-ish area before everything.. went bad- its not like anyone could stop us from celebrating the way we wanted." "Oh... okay- well, what did you want to talk about? Whats this flyer gotta do with it?" He seemed confused, rubbing his neck as he looked down at the flyer in his hand again. Jade seemed to get shy, rubbing her cheek and her tail curling, "Well.." ”?” Will watched her, raising a brow. "..I kinda wanted to do.. a Christmas party? or something?" Her ears folded back slowly as she waited for his response. Will looked to her blankly for a moment, thinking- the idea seemed to make her happy, but.. a party?  "..but like, who would we even invite? You're scared of revealing to your brothers and I want Him to stay as far away from me as possible.." He grew serious for a split second at the end there before shaking his head slightly, pursing his lips, "So, it'd just be us- a two-man party.." he shrugged slightly, smiling shyly as the idea grew on him, "I wouldn't mind that, honestly..?" Jade tilted her head slightly as she thought for a moment, "Well.." Will frowned just a smidge.

"...I was thinking.. there's Ella?" Oh, Ella- the poor girl cursed with passed down lycanthropy that LJ had held captive and tortured whenever he felt; "I found out she's with RLJ now.. has been for a bit actually- and where Ella is, Thomas is- or uh, the large Crow that would hang out on the bigtop's pole tip.." William watched Jade quietly as she rambled, the thought of it not just being the two of them both making him feel a tad odd- mainly about having others around- and it also made him feel weirdly... cheated? And the presence of someone who resembles LJ made him unsure, and it showed on his face. Jade frowned slightly at the sight of Will not looking as sold on the get-together idea as she had hoped... "..I mean, I wanted to run it by you first instead of just.. doing it.." That snapped Will back to full attention, making him raise a brow again; "Why?" "..I mean you're my housemate now; you have as much say in the things we do here as much as I do... I didnt just wanna go ahead with something- like a party for example- without asking you... ya know?" she grew sheepish, rubbing her cheek and tilting her head down slightly. Will's cheeks flushed just barely, making him look elsewhere- it must have been the combination of her including him on big decisions, including and thinking of him at all, and or calling him her housemate.. He sighed, then smiled- so what if others joined them? Though he was unsure about RLJ still, he smiled with a shy edge; "Well, in that case.." "..You'd be alright with it? It'd be alot of work.." Jade seemed nervous, not wanting to make him feel overwhelmed with all the things they’d have to do. Will chuckled, "Whats first on the list?" The pale beast smiled and stood straight, the fluffy fur of her chest puffing out slightly as she purred deeply, "Really? You'd wanna?" "Sure! Whats the harm in a bit of.. uh,, sharing Christmas festivities..?" He shrugged slightly, sounding unsure of his wording, but seeming up to it holiday challenge nonetheless. She looked so happy about it, he just couldn't help but give in...

"..Even if we invite RLJ?" "..Y-yeah, sure," "..He's not Jack- I mean, he is- but like,, he's not..? He's not the Jack you just left, if anything he's leagues better-" "Yeah, I know..." he muttered, sighing curtly through his nose, "Its fine, I promise.." He attempted a genuine smile to make her feel better, though he looked a bit tired at the mention of either clown.

"So.." he tried to change the subject, looking around and then back to a hopeful looking Jade, "Whats first?" Jade bit her lip before her ears perked up and towards him, "Making some invites...?" "You mean, one invite? since they'd all be in one place, right?" "Yeah! yeah.." she purred quietly, tail curling and her hands moving to hold themselves as Will lifted his free hand and gently pet between her ears; which granted some soft but slightly louder purrs from the beast in front of him, her ears folding back. They both seemed to relax...

There's alot of work to do... @askoldlaughingjack Note: This is a slightly different AU / Universe Jade and Will Ellzilla’s Universe Will and Jade to be specific, not my usual version of the two Usual Jade and Will, and the rest of the party of this blog, are currently suspended during this event!

[proheromidoriyashouto]

Quirkless Hero!Deku and Artist/Youtuber!Shouto AU expansion

Shouto was expelled from the Hero Course by Aizawa after the Sports Festival for his refusal to use all his might (neglecting half his quirk) when the chips are down. Shouto went to General Studies and after some serious introspection post-Hosu (he was dragged along by Ende*vore to do grunt work as punishment and happened to come across Tenya and an Idaten intern he didn't know facing off against Stain) began to find solace in art and writing classes and decided to take his life into his own hands.

Shouto started a gaming channel because Ochako- while introducing him to Super Smash Bros Ultimate- noted that he has a nice voice and he likes the story-telling capabilities of games, so why not? What does he have to lose? His striking appearance and slight fame will surely garner him a boost in viewership early on, and they do.

He initially has to run the channel from Tenya's home since Ende*vore would never allow it. He starts off playing multiplayer games because those are what his friends introduce him to so they can play together, but he inevitably shifts toward single-player games that devote quite a lot of time into compelling story campaigns and exploration. His first delves are into Horizon: Zero Dawn, God of War, the Fallout series, Portal 1 & 2, the Witcher series, and the Last of Us since these are the most prominent games at the time (remakes of games in 22XX tend to release in the same year and order the originals did to get the most playtime out of fans). He’s not good at it to start. He reads from a script and he’s stiff and uncomfortable in front of the camera. He thought he was desensitized to that given his time in the limelight thanks to his name but there’s something about talking to a small webcam that feels, well, silly, and... intense. Personal. It’s a serious detractor, and the comments he receives about it are almost enough to shut down the channel for good. His friends’ support gets him through though and he starts to develop a considerable following.

Before he realizes, he’s spending all his free time playing games with purpose, creating new videos on a nearly daily basis, brainstorming how to structure  theory and lore episodes, and worrying about how his uploads are perceived. He runs charity live streams, plays fan-picked hero games, scours every last hint of lore from side-quests, get those sweet sweet completionist Platinum trophies that only like 1% of players get for every game.

Ende*vore cuts him off from his money, and inheritance. Shouto tentatively starts support pages and is surprised by the number of people willing to shell out for him. He starts to really feel the burn-out as he struggles to create more video content for awards before Momo suggests making things. Real, physical things for awards that will give him a break for the grind, and that he can use to improve his art skills. He smacks himself when he realizes that he can also use art as a way of re-connecting with his mother.

Visits at the hospital become days spent drawing, painting, sculpting, and knitting. His mother shocks him in a display of lace-making and he feels a pang of grief when he learns that it was a tradition in her family that she hadn’t been able to pass down to him. She’d taught Fuyumi and Touya a bit but Ende*vore found out and put a stop to it, saying that his legacy was the only one they needed to concern themselves with. She was too afraid of the harm her husband would bring upon the children if she tried again with Natsuo and Shouto. After hearing that there’s nothing more Shouto wants to learn (lace-crafts are his awards for months, and then on occasion for years to come).

His channel, SpicyHeathenGaming, steadily grows over the years and once he graduates from U.A., he devotes himself entirely to running it. By the time he has the formal encounter with Deku, he has millions of subscribers and has become quite comfortable in the public persona he’d crafted (it’s easy to slip into given his natural penchant for straight-man-esque dry humor). He’s almost 25, successful in a precarious field, and... happy. Genuinely at peace. There are days when he misses the rush of a fight, the satisfaction of post-rescue, and on bad days, he thinks of all the people he never saved. He schedules an appointment with his therapist and moves on.

Deku is the one to note that the Day They Met wasn’t at the construction site as he thought, but during the battle of Stain vs Team Idaten Round 2 (and U.A. Students) as the media has labelled it. Shouto is shocked but not for long. The similarities to his then-Idaten costume are prevalent in Deku’s short white mask, midnight leg guards, and heavy black soles but the rest is substantially changed. He’s vaguely reminiscent of a teal/aqua All Might- especially with his cowl on- rather than the Ingenium line now.

He’d become infamous for becoming a hero “the old fashioned way“ through interning and shadowing directly with Pros for years, foregoing hero-high school altogether.

While none of the schools outright forbid quirkless students from applying, Deku had said in his debut press conference, despite passing Ketsubutsu, Shiketsu, and U.A.’s entrance exams, I was denied admittance. They all said something to the effect of ‘I had a “weak constitution”’, ‘my “supposed passion” had been deemed insufficient hot air,’ and ‘my “heroic spirit” wouldn’t be enough to match the rigor of a top-rated hero-course’s training.’ A good friend of mine, Tenya Iida, had been at the same U.A. entrance exam as myself and after learning about my struggles put in a word for me with his family. I didn’t ask for a handout, but when the legitimate options are not truly available to you, what choice even is there? I wasn’t going to turn down the one chance I had left. Team Idaten was good to me and I wouldn’t be the man I’ve become if not for them. In all honesty, Deku shrugged, an almost apologetic look on his face, almost. I was starting to fall into a pretty dark place. I might have become a villain.

Deku had faced ire from Pros, alumni and non-alumni from the schools alike for those remarks, and public opinion had been torn between disdain for slandering the institutions of hero education or support for him having become a hero despite all the odds against him- a true, old-school origin story. All Might had surprised many by showing Deku support, and many U.A.-borne Pros had followed in his example. Ketsubutsu and Shiketsu had not been nearly as kind, with few exceptions. Deku’s rivalries with Dynamic Blitz (one-sided feud in reality), Magnitude, Cloudburst, and Sideburn Tress were almost as well-known as All Might and Endeavor back when they were heroes.

Deku was a world-wide icon for the roughly 2 billion quirkless people in existence, only one of a hand-full of quirkless Pros throughout the world since the dawn of quirks, and the first ever in Japan’s history. He was leagues above Shouto. Shouldn’t have paid him any more mind than any other civilian he’d saved. If not for Shouto’s disastrous inability to handle situations like anything resembling a normal person. He’d seen a strong, handsome, trend-setting, status-quo defying, internationally known hero up close in person, who not only recognized him for his channel but his private art blog and shop, reaching toward his evidently panicking self and had activated his right side as though it was the neglected half, and frozen their hands together.

He’d made a fucking fool of himself... but still... wound up with a number in his pocket and a wink emoji. He never got such lascivious flirting sent his way. Curses, that wink emoji. Not with his scar and eye-straining coloration and lack of proper skin and hair care. No way. What if Deku winked at him in real life? In public? Scandalous. What was he going to do?

Fuyumi. Tenya, help me.

Um, sure?

With what?

...kill me.

-Shou-!

W-why would you-!!

Please, just, vaporize me right now, I’m staring at the moon just take me by surprise, I’m begging you. Actually call Aoyama I have money.

Little brother! What’s brought this on?

That’s not an explanation! If you need help-

I... I have a date.

(Shouto is verrrr out of practice with his powers and dating and is a complete disaster gay. Izuku’s kinda suave and you can thank Tensei’s Big Brother Influence for that. Izuku saved Eri and Kouta okay I promise I have an explanation. All Might was a dick and never found Izuku to apologize. Izuku’s kinda bitter about it but he’s living his best life so :///////. OFA? Never met her. Mirio would be OFA’s 9th in this AU after losing Permeation. Will expand into a proper fic and post to AO3 when its done- I already have too many AUs at once going on.

Population estimates put humans stabilizing at about 11 billion in the 2200s - BNHA was already in modern day when quirks came and its been 200 years since then as per canon- and 20% of the population is slightly more than 2 billion. 2 billion quirkless people.

Dynamic Blitz is that motherfucker. You know who Magnitude and Cloudburst are~. Three guess as to Sideburn Tress’ identity. He wasn’t outwardly hostile but something about him set off red-flags for me. Also strikes me as having a lot of school pride.)

[dcarevu]

Pretty Poison

“No strychnine. But I added just a pinch of vanilla!”

SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT

I experienced poison ivy when I was a kid. The rash was all over my leg, and I gave it plenty of time to spread before finally seeing a doctor. It was absolutely miserable. But y’know… At least I can say that never during that time did I ever need to deal with a man-eating plant, a dying friend stuck in ICU, or the slow feeling of poison dragging me straight down into my cactus-filled grave.

Villain: Poison Ivy

Robin: No Writer: Tom Ruegger (teleplay), Paul Dini (story), Michael Reaves (story) Director: Boyd Kirkland Animator: Sunrise Airdate: September 14, 1992 Episode Grade: A

Now this is what I’m talking about!

Okay, so the show thus far has been good. I’ve been enjoying starting it from scratch and watching it in its proper order. And Char who is completely new to the show has liked it a lot as well. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by her reactions. And of course, there was always the thought that maybe it just wouldn’t end up being her type of thing (not that it would be the worst thing in the world by any means). But if you’ve noticed, I haven’t given any episodes a rating above a B yet. But I knew this episode was coming. I knew it was a great one. And it didn’t let either of us down. Eventually we will get to the safe zone of the series, where the show becomes much more consistent, and consistently great at that. Everything evens out, and the identity is solidified. I don’t think we are quite at that point yet, but I do consider this episode to be a sign post that says, “Just a little bit further!” I want to reiterate that the past 4 episodes have not been bad! B is a good grade, and even C is passing. But, yeah, look at who wrote this episode. When Paul Dini is involved, that’s usually a very good sign right there. In my opinion, he was one of the best (if not the best) things to happen to the DC Animated Universe. Tom Ruegger is another creator whom I have much appreciation for (Animaniacs and Freakazoid, yes please), and as far as Michael Reaves, I’m not too familiar with what he’s done, but we’ll learn as we advance through the series I suppose!

This episode felt so adult compared to the past bunch! We get Bruce out with his friend Harvey Dent, doing realistic adult things. We have relationship talk. We have talk about the building and funding of a penitentiary. We have some really grim looks at inside the hospital as Harvey Dent is being carted away. We have our most complex villain so far (Joker would become more complex as the show went on, however, rivaling Ivy). In fact, let’s talk about our villain this episode.

Poison Ivy is adorably evil. Like, seriously. She’s so cute. It’s really tragic, because, surprise, she’s another Batman villain who isn’t quite all there. I mean, she waits five years, hunts down a pretty high-profile person in a fairly large city, attracts him to the point of him wanting to marry her after a week of knowing her (despite what we find out later about our pal Harvey), then severely poisons him with virtually no hope of cure. Jeez, lady! Now that’s the type of woman you want. In Char’s words, “Um, you’re kinda being evil, honey.” Interestingly, we had a conversation about serial killers before watching this episode because, well, I don’t know, that’s something that emo-aesthetic college-aged young adults talk about…and a book that she is reading called Great Lakes Serial Killers by Wayne Louis Kadar mentions that female serial killers poison 80% of the time when it comes to method. Also, it’s generally common knowledge that female serial killers can often be in it for things like money, revenge, or similar things. I’m not sure if the writing team did their research, of if it was a complete coincidence, but Poison Ivy aligns heavily with this, and it brings in a real-world aspect. Even if we also get a man-eating plant out of it.

Poison Ivy is also a case of someone being an extremist when it comes to what she believes is right. She cares for plants as much as many of us care for our own pets. This is a little strange, but all well and good until we get to the stage of murder being the right answer to someone digging up a few endangered roses. And the thing is, watching her heart shatter as, say, she murders her own plant with a small arrow, or as her greenhouse bursts into flames…you almost feel for her. This isn’t an act, and she truly does not consider herself an evil person. In her opinion, Harvey Dent (and even Bruce Wayne) completely deserve the gravestone. They murdered an innocent plant. But her reality does not match society’s, and this is some severely antisocial, dangerous behavior. She needs serious help, and watching her being locked up in Stonegate as opposed to Arkham is sad (not to mention ironic, considering it’s the very thing that lead her to commit this particular crime). She could be a good person if she were cured. She’s super smart. Graduated as a scientist. Has potential to be a really caring person. But one too many screws are loose here. You want Batman to stop her. But you’re also glad he saves her and her flowers. I like that she got to keep them in her cell. Although knowing the damage this plant can do to someone, I’m not sure if it was really the best idea. Hell, if she wanted to, she could probably eat some of the leaves to kill herself, assuming that she has yet to build up a strong immunity.

We also see in this episode that Bruce Wayne is indeed capable of having a social life, and it’s so sincere that you almost forget that much of it is likely very contrived. They play with this a little bit as Harvey describes Bruce to Ivy, mentioning the things that he knows about him while cutting back to Batman demonstrating that Harvey is indeed correct, but in the most ironic ways possible. I do think that Bruce does channel real parts of him to portray the character which he portrays. But I also think that he leaves a lot of himself in the cowl, and when he walks around in his suit and tie, a lot of him is an empty shell of a man. I’m not saying he’s not human. Bruce can have fun. He can laugh. He can be a genuinely warm guy. He also has a lot to hide, though. He takes small parts of a normal business personality and runs with them as far as he can, stretching them out quite thin.

Despite this episode being a massive step up in maturity, it’s not without its fun. Bullock running back for doughnuts is a predictable gag, but I’m not going to pretend that it didn’t get a laugh out of me. What an arrogant slob this dude is. And yet as we watch him interrogating the kitchen staff of the restaurant Harvey collapsed at, we’re glad he’s in the show, and once again reminded that we love to be annoyed by him. He’s someone I would still worry about if he were in danger. He’s someone I want to ultimately be happy and find success. But I also want him to improve as a human being. All while wanting him to remain exactly the way he is so I can continue to want these things and root for him for the rest of the show. We root for him in different ways than he roots for himself.

Some other classic Batman TAS things happen too. Bruce steals the blood sample from the hospital, knowing damn well that taking matters into his own hands is the only viable option. We get Alfred being a genuinely great butler, father-figure, and sidekick all at once (look out, Robin, you’ve got some competition). And we even got a stylish sepia-toned flashback, which ties in great to the plot of the episode. That moment when the gears turn in our minds and we realize Poison Ivy’s motive is great. We’re taking off, guys. I was excited about finally starting this show again. I was having fun with the last 4 episodes (and pilot). And now with this one, I’m feeling just like I was when I first watched the entirety of Batman however many years ago.

By the way, while Poison Ivy is hot, this show in general has been even hotter. There have been a lot of fires! There was an explosion in On Leather Wings that leads to a fire. We had a fire in Nothing To Fear. In The Last Laugh, Batman is suspended above a fire at a dumpster. And now we have another one in this episode. Jesus, Batman oughta exchange his mask for a fire helmet. Because of this, I propose we keep a fire tally. Not just for Batman either. Let’s keep it going for the entire DCAU just for a bit of fun. I’m sure there will be some more counts that pop up as I notice more tropes, but keep in mind, this is purely for my own entertainment. It’s not to knock one of my favorite shows!

Fire count: 4 Char’s grade: A Major firsts: Poison Ivy, Renee Montoya

Next time: The Underdwellers

For blog entires on every episode of the DC Animated Universe, follow DCArevU! I update as frequently as I can, watching and writing between school, work, and general life stresses. Feel free to watch along with me! Check out the episode list, which can easily be found via the side bar of the blog!