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thyme-in-a-bubble · 1 year ago

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the breakfast

lilac, chapter two

a/n: when my love, @chvoswxtch, asked me to bring the horny energy of miss patty from gilmore girls, of course I fucking did it, I'm not a criminal, that's what we all deserve

summary: “well, hello stranger.”

warnings: lumberjack!frank castle x reader, lumberjack AU, pete castiglione era, past domestic violence, crazy ex trope, slow burn, wholesome villagers being adorable

word count: 2373

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The Lilac Inn wasn’t just an inn to the citizens of Dunbrook. It was its beating heart, a hub for the small community to gather.

As the town’s only culinary establishment, the residents had always made a habit of eating a fair amount of their meals in the inn’s dining room, the door to the kitchen often staying wide open so that Harvey wouldn’t have to leave the stove in order to catch all of the juicy small-town gossip that had people blabbering.

“Dad, did you turn off my alarm?” you snapped as soon as your scurrying feet carried you into the bustling kitchen.

Not lifting his eyes from the loaf of bread he was currently slicing, your dad simply countered with a jovial, “well, good morning to you too, sleeping beauty!”

“Dad,” you sighed, jaw clenching at his usual demeanour, the paralysing dream you’d just roused from not setting you up to be in the right mood for such a level of positivity.

“You just looked like you could use the extra hour or two,” a smile still warm on his lips, the middle-aged man defensively raised his hands.

“But I’m supposed to help you out,” your eyes followed his movements as he trotted towards the stove, “I can’t do that if I’m asleep.”

“Exactly,” your dad passed by a hook full of tangled textiles and tossed you an apron, “that’s why I let you go a little longer so that you wouldn’t doze off on me before lunchtime arrives.”

“I wouldn’t have dozed off…” you mumbled pettily as you tied the linen around your waist. Exhaling lowly as you watched him crack two eggs into a sizzling skillet, you asked, “what can I do?”

“Well for starters,” he tossed the shells into a small scrap bowl to his side, “these were the last eggs, so if you could go get some more out by the front desk, that would be superb.”

“Why do you have eggs on the front desk?”

“Because Otto’s chickens are laying a lot right now and so he told me he’d give me some today when he swung by for breakfast.”

“Wait, Sheriff Nilsen has chickens now?”

“Yeah, has for a long time,” the decade of you not living here grew palpable, “he usually just drops the extra ones off here, so they should already be there because I just took his order two minutes ago.”

“Alright,” you disappeared through the back door and snaked down the narrow corridor, ending up behind the messy reception area.

Your eyes didn’t have to search for long before you noticed the petite basket, brimming with beige eggs, resting on the top of the counter right beside the small rolodex that displayed what date it was. Grasping it in your hand, your vision momentarily drifted down to the small, framed photo nuzzled behind the ever-open logbook. Sitting on the swing that still hung from one of the sturdy trees out back, head adorably posed in a tiny palm, there a 7-year-old version of you sat, forever frozen in that singular moment, beaming up at the camera.

“Ah!” a sharp voice boomed as you heard the front door swing shut, “oh my goodness, oh my god! Y/n!”

Raising your chin, your eyes grew wide at the rotund woman beaming at you from the doormat, “miss Rays!” you hurried around the front desk, “oh my god, it’s been so long!”

Capturing you in a hug, she pressed your form into her bosom, “darling, we’re not in bed together, call me Donna.”

Pulling back with a light chuckle, your eyes fluttered over her features, “you haven’t changed one bit,” her lipstick still a fiery shade red and hair still short and feathery framing her plump cheeks.

“You however have,” she clasped your free hand in hers, guiding your figure to give her a good view, “oh, do a little spin for me,” you bashfully obliged with a giggle, “yes! Honey, who is this woman, what have you done with the adorable little girl I used to tutor?”

To your knowledge, Dunbrook never really had a proper school, but for as long as you could recall Donna had always operated as a teacher to the handful of children that called the reclusive mountain village their home. Even though it was just run out of her living room, she had still been the best teacher you’d ever had, her patient way rivalling any of the professors you had to endure when you went off for college. As a matter of fact, she had been the person who’d pushed you to send in the application, praising that you were too clever not to go out and change the world.

“Oh, stop it,” you sighed light-heartedly, a chuckle still bubbling out of your chest as you shifted the subject away from your own appearance, “so, you still come here for breakfast?”

“Of course, I do, you’ve tasted your father’s cooking,” readjusting her purse, she hooked her arm in yours, “a real shame that he’s never accepted any of my offers of becoming your stepmom,” she leaned in to add as you crossed over the threshold into the dinner room, “I could have been served all my meals in bed like some Egyptian queen!”

“I’m sure you can easily find another fellow that can handle himself in the kitchen,” the click-clack of her heels came to a stop by one of the small round tables, her eyes briefly taking in the other patrons before a slight crease appeared betwixt her polished brows.

“Oh, darn it,” her vision stayed glued to the table in the corner as she lowered herself onto her seat, “he’s not sitting at his usual table…”

“Who?”

“The eye candy over there,” she tilted her chin in the direction of the broad, muted flannel-clad back of the man sitting by the window furthest down at the bottom of the room, “you see, I asked your dear father to always reserve this spot for me just so that I can have a great view, if you know what I mean…” gulping down the rest of his coffee, the man’s head tilted enough for you to recognise whom the rugged looking visage belonged to, “oh boy, I tell you, if I was 30 years younger…”

Haven assumed that you’d never again run into the stranger who’d helped you just the day before, a warm flutter suddenly trickled down your spine, “like that’s ever stopped you before,” you pointed out, snapping your eyes out of their trance, “so, uh, do you know what you want to eat or do you just want some coffee or something while you think on it?” you took two steps towards the oblong table where mismatched teacups where stacked and the steam of a few thermoses, all containing a different hot beverage then the next, billowed out.

“Some coffee would be lovely,” she smiled as you with one hand snatched up a mug and the decanter labelled as such, “and some oatmeal if you don’t mind, sweetie.”

Promptly pouring her a cup, you then signed off with a wink, “you got it,” before your vision landed upon the latest of Donna’s abundant infatuations once more.

Attempting to make the short journey seem spontaneous and effortless, you bounced from table to table, topping off people's cups, before reaching the final one.

Drawing in a deep breath, your embarrassingly giddy voice then found his ears, “well, hello stranger.”

Eyes flickering away from the newspaper sprawled out before him, a look of shock washed over his gruff features as he glanced up at you, “oh, hi.”

“Pete–, it is Pete, right?” you checked, slight mortification beginning to brew within your belly.

“Yes, ma'am,” his head nodded ever so slightly.

“Do you want a refill, Pete?” you savoured the taste of his name on your tongue.

“Sorry?” his brows furrowed at your offer.

“Your coffee,” you pointed with the hand that clutched the handle of the thermos, “do you want some more?”

“Oh,” he breathed, though the puzzled look didn’t seem to fade, “yes, always.”

Leaning in slightly over the newspaper, you filled up the drained mug, only a murky ring at the bottom indicating what it had previously contained, “and can I get you something to eat as well?”

Eyes narrowing, he stared up at you, “is your vacation really already so boring that you got a job here or what?”

“Oh,” you couldn’t help but breathe out a light chuckle as you answered, “I’m not on vacation and I guess, kinda,” staring back into his eyes as you attempted to repeat your question, “so, do you want any–,” though before you could finish the sentence, out pranced your father, a plate of food balanced in his palm.

“2 eggs sunny side up and some sourdough toast, as per usual,” he sang as his long arm came down to slice the air between your forms, placing the dish upon the table.

Briefly catching his eye, Pete then offered a polite nod of gratitude, “thank you,” folding the paper up and scooting the meal closer.

Feeling the small basket of eggs disappear from your grip, you blinked back at your father as he softly requested in your ear, “honey, could you give me a hand in the back when you’re done out here?”

“Sure, dad,” you flashed him a smile before watching him disappear once more.

Feet still glued to the floorboards right by Pete’s table, your vision then returned to him as his deep voice washed over you, “so, you’re Harvey’s kid, then?”

“Yep, that’s my dad,” your balance briefly shifted as you rocked on the balls of your feet, “thank you, by the way, for yesterday.”

“Oh, it’s no problem,” his fork punctured one of the golden yokes, “how’s your car looking?”

“I don’t really know yet. The local mechanic is taking a look today, so fingers crossed it’s not anything too catastrophic,” you felt your palms begin to sweat as he simply stared up at you in silence, “anyhow,” you averted your gaze nervously, “I’ll stop bothering you, let eat in peace,” you nearly bumped into the chair behind you as you backed up towards the kitchen, the near accident not managing to draw any words out of him, only the hint of a smile twitched at the corner of his lips, “see you around, I guess…”

“Hey, dad?”

Briefly raising his eyes from the logbook cracked open on the wooden counter, he glanced up at you as you bounced down the wide staircase, “yeah, pumpkin?”

Hand tracing the railing, with the aid of the grip, you swung your form around the last post as you ascended the final step, “did you know that the hot water doesn’t work? Like at all.”

“Yeah, that and about a million other things around here,” he sighed, vision returning to the ledger as you rested your folded-up arms upon the top of the reception, “this is a beautiful historic building… and what I mean by that is that there are too many things that either don’t work the way they should or at all. I am not a millionaire, honey. If I was, then the issues wouldn’t be piling up the way that they are…”

Bottom lip snug between your teeth, your mind raced a moment before you quietly theorised, “exactly how long is that list?”

Eyes racing to find your eyes, your father joked, “why? Did you become a contractor while living in New York or something?”

“No, but I was always the handy one out of the two of us,” you noted before your shoulders raised in an innocent shrug, “how hard could it be?”

“Let me get this right,” he raised a palm up between you as his eyes crinkled even further, “you’re telling me you wanna try and patch this place up?”

“Well, it couldn’t hurt the business side of things. When was the last time you booked out more than two rooms at a time here?”

“Oh, no, no,” the moustachioed man then began to shake his head, “you’re not turning this place into some fake, glossy tourist attraction.”

Swinging around to his side of the counter, you assured him, “hey, I’m not saying let's flood this place with tourists, but maybe just a handful more?” tilting your head in an attempt to catch his gaze that had now returned to the open book, “just enough to make ends meet, perhaps also enough to at some point hire someone else so that you won’t work yourself to death…”

Eyes frozen on the page before him, a long exhale then flowed from his lungs as he deliberated.

“Alright, fine, yeah, I guess that wouldn’t be that bad…” he tried to downplay the smile that blossomed upon his lips.

Spine pressed against the edge of the front desk, you then braced with your palms and hauled yourself up onto the spot that was just clear enough for you to sit there without knocking any knickknacks over.

“So,” you drew out, searching for a new topic to explore, “Donna seems to be quite set on that guy Pete to be her new husband, huh?”

“Oh, yeah,” Harvey chortled, “but you know her, she’s like a dog spotting a pheasant every time she sees a new man. I think genuinely I might be the only person in town who isn’t either terrified of him or has some desire to sleep with him.”

“How long has he been here anyway?”

“Eh,” he glanced up at the stained glass adorning the front door as he thought, “maybe a year or two? He mostly keeps to himself, lives up in a cabin in the woods and only really comes down here to either provide some firewood to whoever needs it or have some coffee,” vision landing on you, he then noted, “you however seemed to have broken through to him quite quickly. Took me like 5 months to get anything more than a grunt of recognition out of him.”

“Oh,” you couldn’t stop your eyebrows as they promptly rose up, “well, he kinda helped me the day that I got here. He was the guy I caught a ride with…”

#lea’s writing #lilac series #lumberjack!frank castle #frank castle x reader #frank castle imagine #frank castle x you #frank castle x y/n #frank castle x female reader #frank castle x fem!reader #frank castle x f!reader #frank castle fic #the punisher fic #frank castle fanfiction #the punisher x reader #frank castle fluff #frank castle series #lumberjack au

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chronicbeans · 2 years ago

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Wally and a Puppeteer Reader (part 5)

The silly man's actions are finally being noticed by the higher-ups oh no

Tw: Obsessive Behaviors, Scopophobia/Eye Imagery, Idol Worshipping, Mentions of Death Threats, Mentions of Stalking

🎥 You look around at everyone that the boss has gathered. It is practically the whole camera crew, all of the directors, all the puppeteers, and the few extra voice actors. The boss, who prefers to just be called 'Boss' by their workers, is standing in the center of the crowd they have gathered, looking at everyone with a keen eye.

🎥 Finally, they begin to speak. "I am sure everyone knows why we have gathered here today? I have heard your complaints. The eerie letters and drawings (Y/N) has been getting, Eddie's puppet having a bunch of colorful envelopes dumped on him by the time we return in the morning to work for three nights in a row. I have even heard that Frank's puppet has had a whole dictionary placed on top of him. You know, the one we use to try to come up with rhymes or ways to explain topics to kids? I have heard your pleas, so I have brought us all here to come up with a solution that would satisfy us all."

🎥 Eddie's puppeteer looks around, an anxious look in their eyes, before they raise their hand. The boss calls on them, prompting them to stand and speak. Their tone is frantic as they explain "I am most worried about the... the odd messages. Recently, it isn't just (Y/N) who has been getting them! I've gotten some odd ones, requesting me to mail things to people. They always come with an extra note that's meant for the person who I need to send it to... I did so, because the notes addressed to me contained these... Grizzly threats against me..."

🎥 Wally's voice actor stands up suddenly, pointing to the puppeteer. They speak in a harsh tone, asking "Did you get any mail for me? Any notes addressed to me?" The person in question simply nods, muttering "Yeah... I just leave them by the door to your recording booth."

🎥 The voice actor continues, their eyes moving to the boss, a glare in them "I TOLD you, Boss! Now I have the proof! Whoever this little freak is that's been bothering us has been sending notes to practically everyone here! Every morning so far, ever since a few weeks ago, I've had these envelopes outside my recording booth. When I opened them, they were filled with horrible threats against me AND my family! I don't know how they found out about my kids, but they did, and they have been threatening them! Sometimes, there are even drawings taped all along the walls of my booth that, although scribbles, I can tell are meant to be me or my family dying."

🎥 You slunk in your seat as more and more people begin talking at once, their voices growing louder and louder the longer they talk. From letters to drawings, everyone has something to pitch in. Someone even mentions how they had paint dumped onto them, hence the red stain on the carpet by the filing cabinets. Eyes being painted on the walls by the large Home set is a new one, but not necessarily something you are shocked by. A lot of your drawings recently include eyes, which only makes your paranoid feelings of being watched so much worse... The boss' eyes widen as they raise their hands, shouting "Everyone calm down! This will be dealt with! That's why we're here, right? Stay calm!"

🎥 After a few deep breaths, you raise your hand. After being called on, you ask "I told you to check the cameras and ask the security guards. Have you found anything?" The boss grows quiet, before scratching the back of their head and answering your question "Well... The guards have gone missing. The only remaining one quit, saying there was a ghost or something. The cameras didn't hold much useful information. They didn't show anything, but I have noted that as of a few months ago, they have been turning off around the time that filming stops. The tech guys have been on the case, but found nothing wrong, so far."

🎥 You are about to ask another question, when Wally's voice actor speaks up again, their tone just as agitated as before "Why not have us all take a holiday while this is sorted out? We have no big projects set up, just some regular episodes! The public has plenty of episodes to keep them satisfied right now! I'm sure like... Three days won't harm you! A group of volunteers and I could just stay overnight to try to catch this freak and figure out why they are doing this! Less money from your pockets from property damage, hiring new security guards on the spot from desperation and having them fail horribly, and halfhearted repairs to the cameras." They then look around, asking "Who's with me on this idea? The boss has still got to hire guards and fix the cameras, but we can rid ourselves of this nuisance faster!"

🎥 After a few moments of silence, some people from the crowd raise their hands. You recognize them as the puppeteers for Eddie, Poppy, Julie, and Frank. There are also a few camera operators, and one director. You are about to raise your hand, when Wally's voice actor stops you. They pat you on the shoulder, saying "Look, I know you wanna get rid of this guy as much as everyone else, but I must say... You are in the most danger here, in my opinion. Whoever this is, they are after you the most. You are their target. I may not necessarily like you, but I am not heartless enough to let you come waltzing in here at the dead of night to confront this person. Plus, you got a kid you're caring for, right? You should just get some rest, if the boss agrees with this."

🎥 As all eyes turn towards the boss. They clearly are conflicted. If the rumors being spread around the set are true, they are a bit of a penny pincher, willing to do anything to make a quick buck and not lose any money in the process. However, it seems like their better conscience gets the best of them as they say "Fine. I'll give you all a holiday. For the people who decide to show up, take care of the puppets. I don't want to return to see them in bad shape. Keep me updated. You have THREE days to find and catch this person. No more, no less. This meeting is over. Have a nice holiday."

#welcome home #wally darling x reader #wally darling #welcome home arg

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romanarose · 5 months ago

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Lil Bit O'Cream

Santiago Garcia x Fat!Francisco Morales

Masterlist : Triple Frontier Masterlist (full of plenty of gay shit)

For week 4 of my Oscar Pedro Pride Event Week 4, Food, Fashion Fun if the theme!

AND

To celbrate my dear friend @beefrobeefcal !!! Happy one year of your blog my pal!!!! I love you so much, thank you for all you do to spreadyt he fat p-boys agenda!

Summery: Frankie doesn't think he deserve extra whipped cream, Santi proves him wrong.

Warnings: Food play, making out, illusions to sex. Body insecurity, Remains 18+ even if we don't get down and dirty!

Hosier referece in there for you sluts.

Devider by @nekokabuuuri

Dinner went well.

It was dessert of straweberries and cream that got Frankie in trouble.

Frankie had noticed that since dating Santiago, he had gained a little weight... And by a litttle, it was a lot. There was so much wasted time, so many years he and Santi missed out of together, they spent the time they had just... Being, having fun. They ate a lot of food... Frankei always knew Santi could cook but damn.

What was frustrating was how Frankie seemed to gain and gain and gain and no matter the chilles rellenos and barracho Santiago ate, he remained the same. Little bit of softness, but overall fit. Frankie was never that fit. In the air force, he always struggled to keeo up with fitness regiments and as soon as he got out he stopped trying too hard. He had to keep a certain level of fitness for a while... but that wained as Santiago's calls for missions did.

Then Colombia happened, and Frankie never wanted to go on another godforsaken mission again, lest he lose Ben, Will or Santi, or leave his daughter without a dad.

Santiago went radio silent for months, no one heard a single word... And then one day, he showed up again at his doorstep, and suddenly lips were on Frankie's before they made it inside the door.

Now, where he was worried about his daughter not having a dad, she had two.

She was away with her mom for the week, leaving Santi and Frankie with some alone time. Alone time Frankie was not that eager to get into. It wasn't that he didn't want Santi. He did, he really fucking did. Sex with Santi was incredible, and it had been a few weeks due to the rush of life... but Frankie was now accutely aware of his weight gain after his last pair of jeans busting a button. He didn't want to take his shirt off to find Santi no longer wanted him.

Dinner was done at the table with a few candles with Our Lady of Guatelupe and Martin De Porres staring at them, housewarming gifts from Frankie's mother to show her support for the couple.

For dessert, Santi sat Frankie down at the couch, put on Breaking Bad, and soon joined him with strawberries and and can of whipped cream. Frankie panicked. He did not need whipped cream right now as his stomach folded over the wasteband of his sweats.

"Um, I'll just take the strawberries, no whipped cream." He requested as Santi's ass bounced as he sat down on their couch.

His partner turned to him, a brow raised. "What? No whipped cream? The strawberrie are just an excuse to eat the whipped cream in the first place."

He was onto him. Frankie resisted the urge to run his fingers through his hair; Will had informed him once that this little habit was a tell when he was uncomfortable and/or lying. "Well, you know me. Whiskey neat, coffee black. It's too sweet for me."

Frowning now, Santi set down the bowl, still grasping the tin can of spray cream. "Frank, you slurped down an iced Caramel machiatto in record time today."

"It was sugar free!"

His eyes widened as he connected the dots, then his face softened. "You wanna tell me what's going on?"

Frankie sighed. "Fine." He slouched in the couch, stomach protruding out. "I just think if I'm gonna eat whipped cream, I should probably earn it."

"Earn it?"

"Yeah, you know, like going for a run or something."

Santi burst into laughter, "A run? Fish, you haven’t run since Lorea's men shot a gun at your ass."

Huffing, Frankie tries to get up as his face flushes, burning at the embaressment of his lover acknowleging his sedentary lifestyle, but Santi's hand catches him.

"Hey, hey now, I'm sorry. That was rude." His voice was sincier, pulling Frankie down to the couch again. Frankie still wouldn't look at him, staring instead at the strawberries on the table while the bad is breaking on the tv in front of him. "Talk to me, baby."

Face on fire, the older man just mumbles. "I got fat."

He expects Santi to deny it, to say no, you havn't you look just the same. That would make him feel worse, the idea that he was fat and sensitive enough he needed to be lied to. But Santi knew that, because Santi knew him. He shrugs.

"I love the way you look. It suits you. I always enjoyed the fact you had meat on you. I honestly feel don't even notice much, it just feels like this is how you were meant to be."

Now the warmth on his skin was a nicer form. "But... I mean, I get that people like dad bods or whatever, but this is beyond that. It's not a beer belly, I'm just fat."

Santi nods. "I know, and I still think you look great like this. But, what I think isn't really important, although I'm happy to boost your spirits and tell you I think you're hot." He punctuated his point with a pat to Frankie's tummy. "The important part, is how do you feel?"

He considers this for a while, thinking earnestly. He doesn't stare at himself in the mirror hating his body. He doesn't find it's hard to do tasks he enjoys, like running around with his little girl or... activities... with Santi. He can still fit comfortably in the pilots seat even if his uniform has gone up... a few times. He doesn't need a seatbelt extender but he doesn't think he'd mind one. He can happily do the things he loves and although he's not exactly admiring his form, he doesn't hate it.

"I feel like... Like I shouldn't like it. I'm fat, Im supossed to want to-"

Santi stopped him by squishing his cheeks. "I didn't ask how you should feel, amor. I asked how you actually feel."

When Santi let go (after squeezing his cheeks enought to make his lips puff out and planting a kiss) Frankie answered. "Neutral, I guess. I don't pay much attention to it but... I'm comfortable."

Santi begins to smile at that. "Bien. And do you want to lose weight? Because I'll help you, I'll diet with you-"

"No!" Frankie responded, all too quickly, eyes wide enough to make Santi laugh. "I... I like how you look. a lot. Especially your ass."

Grinning his shit eating grin, Santi climbed up to straddle Frankie's stomach and lap, whipped cream still in hand. "Good, because I like your ass too, Fish." His voice drops lower, sultry and suggestive. "So, are you gonna let me feed you whipped cream?"

Frankie felt much better, grabbing that ass of Santi's that he loves so much and matching the energy, "I'll feed you some cream"

"Fucking idioto" Santi grumbles before his lips crashed into Frankie's, devouring him in a kiss, licking into his mouth like there was already something to eat. He raised the whiped cream can, taking it to Frank's mouth and spraying it until the white overflowed his mouth, dribbling out the sides and down chin. When he went back to sloppy making out, the impact to his face caused whipped cream to go everywhere, their tongues finding each other in the cloud of white while Santiago ground his hips against the swelling length in his grey sweats. Santi felt Frankie's fat stomach roll against his, running his hands over every bit of flab he could get his hands on.

Santiago absolutly adored how his boyfriend looked, drinking in his body every time he stepped out of the shower, how big he was, how thick fucking everywhere. He loved how, when Frank topped him, he could feel his other half's stomach on his lower back and ass, how he could hear the slap of skin to skin other than from thigh to ass. He loved sucking him off and bobbing up to kiss the low-hanging tummy. He loved hugging him and the way his finger tips barely touched. He loved him so goddamn much.

As soon as Frank's shirt was off, whipped cream was on his chest. Santiago lapped all over him, swirling his tongue around his nipples while palming the erection. He'd never heard Frankie so... Loud. Frank maybe be neutral about his body, may be unaccfected and comfortable now that he was certain that Santiago was more than still attracted...

But as Franks moans grew louder, his cock twitching in Santi's right hand while the left cupped his pudgy face... His goal was to make Frankie love the body he was in.

HAPPY ONE YEAR B DAY BEEF!!! I LOVE YOU!!

Hope you enjoy my gay shit!!!!

Follow @romana-updates to keep up with my works, and follow or check out #OscarPedroPrideEvent2024 here for othercool works! plenty of time to participate if you desire, lots of fun themes!!

Follow my dear @beefrobeefcal for more fat pedro content!!! Her dark frankie is *chefs kiss* (pun intended if you read the story)

Like fat/ chubby frankie? Like dark? come read Room's on Fire !!

Love you all!

#triple frontier #frankie catfish morales #frankie morales #francisco morales #santiago garcia #santiago pope garcia #m/m #frankie morales x santiago garcia #Santiago garcia x francisco morales #FishPope #PopeFish #gay triple frontier #queer triple frontier #gay frankie morales #gay santiago garcia #francisco catfish morales #triple frontier fanfiction #frankie morales fanfiction #oscarpedroprideevent2024

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alwayslurkinginthebackground · 2 years ago

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Convincing Arguments - A "Kissing You" Drabble

Pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader Warnings: Brief mentions of sex, but nothing insanely graphic. Someday I'll finish that one I started that got way out of hand but today is not that day. Word Count: 1100 Prompt #3: Kisses traveling from your lover’s nose to their lips. a/n: Hi it's been like a month but I've been working long days trying to finish a television and film master class (I'M DONE) and working extra shifts (TOO MANY) and also am just trying to deal with the fact that planets doing dumb things makes my life feel dumb too (DUMB MERCURY) but amidst it all I wrote this little self-indulgent piece so here it is! Enjoy!

Masterlist | Previous Drabble | Next Drabble

Exhausted doesn’t even begin to describe how you feel.

Perhaps you should have listened to your friends when they told you that you should ease up on how much you’re adding to your plate. After all, your busy schedule didn’t exactly leave much time for socializing, or sleep for that matter, but it paid the rent either way.

Still, you could feel the toll on your body every time your alarm went off at five in the morning, running yourself ragged as you jump from task to task before finally collapsing back in bed well after midnight. Even Frankie has started suggesting that maybe you should slow down a bit, but in a world where everyone expects you to say yes, it’s rather hard to say no.

Your apartment is blissfully quiet when you unlock the door, and within seconds you’re collapsed on the couch, not even bothering with your shoes, much less changing into something more comfortable. You’re nearly asleep the second your body hits the soft cushions.

When you wake, you’re unsure of how long you’ve been asleep, but you’re well-aware that you’re no longer in the living room, and on top of that you’re definitely wearing one of Frankie’s shirts and not the jeans and sweater you had on earlier. The room is dark, but it’s easy to make out his body next to you in the soft light streaming through the window.

And then you remember. It’s the second Friday of the month, set aside in both of your schedules as date night. Guilt coils in your stomach as you stare at your boyfriend’s peaceful form, hair mussed against the pillow. You hesitate to wake him, but a glance at the clock tells you that it isn’t actually too late - just a few minutes before midnight - and you know that you’ll be tossing and turning all night if you don’t apologize for missing your time together.

Scooting closer to his warm form, you lean in to press a faint kiss to the tip of his nose. Then another, and another on the bridge, following a path to his cheekbone, and you know he’s awake by the time his patchy beard scratches against your lips. When you trail down, he’s quick to return your affection, his tongue tracing your lower lip as he encourages you closer. Strong arms wrap around you in a flash, pulling you to straddle his hips.

Instinctively, you grind down into him, warmth coursing through your veins, but things cool off quickly as you pull away to catch your breath, exhaustion still evident in your body as you relax. He laughs quietly, his breath fanning out over your ear as you nestle your head into the crook of his neck. “A bit tired tonight, Querida?”

Your agreement comes out as more of a moan, and you shift against him to lay more comfortably, effectively draped on top of him. He runs gentle hands up and down your back, seeking out the tight muscles the best he can from this angle. “I’m sorry I missed our date night,” you mumble.

“It’s okay,” he whispers into your skin, lips ghosting a bit of exposed shoulder. “I think you needed the sleep.”

A frustrated sigh leaves your body. “Maybe, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that I missed our time together. I feel like we never get enough of it these days.” It’s an admission that you probably would’ve kept to yourself had your tired mind not let it slip, and your anxiety skyrockets when Frankie remains silent, hands still working along your back. “Frankie?”

“Move in with me,” he says rather suddenly, and if you weren’t awake before, you sure are now. You sit up frantically, arms braced on either side of his head, his hands shifting to rest against your lower back, spanning your waist as he keeps your hips firmly situated against his own.

“What?”

Frankie looks so serious, his expression the same as the first night he asked you out. The same look when he told you he wanted to get his pilot’s license back. The same look he wore when he told you he’d been clean for six months because of you. “Move in with me,” he repeats, a little louder this time.

“Frankie, I...” you start, trailing off as you catch the minute change in his expression. Most wouldn’t notice, but you know that look too, the one he gets when his certainty evaporates into anxiety. He looks like he’s about to speak, but you cut him off by rolling off him and onto your back, still tucked close against his side. “Shit, Frankie...” you respond, running your hands over your face.

“If you’re not ready it’s okay, I just thought -”

“Wait,” you stop him, reaching for his hand so you can weave your fingers together. You take a deep breath that he mirrors as you stare at the ceiling above you. The same apartment ceiling you’ve been staring at since your move to Miami three years ago. Your very expensive apartment ceiling.

“Yes.”

“Yes?” he asks, and you can’t blame him for being confused. “Truly, if you don’t want to, I’ll understand."

"I'm sure, Frankie," you return, your voice steady and sure.

He obviously doesn't fully hear you, because he continues to ramble. "I know we’ve only been dating a year but I love you and it’s ridiculous that you’re working two jobs to pay your rent when you could move in with me and pay nothing and..."

You roll on your side again to look at him and he trails off. “You don’t have to try and convince me because I'm positive that I want to move in with you, but do you have any other convincing arguments?”

Frankie smiles, anxieties now long forgotten as a mixture of joy and relief becomes evident in his features. “Well, for starters, you’d be closer to the job you actually like, there would be a yard for you to bring home that dog you want so much, and you’d get to wake up next to me every day.”

You hum, pretending to ponder your options. “I’m not so sure about that last thing, but the dog part is nice. Got anything else?” Playfully, you kiss his nose again, only to squeal when he peppers your own face in featherlight kisses, his beard tickling across your skin.

The two of you laugh heavily until he rolls on top of you, settling between your legs and caging you in. Frankie kisses you soundly, the air in the room instantly changing. “How's this for a reminder?" he offers, trailing a path down your body until he reaches the apex of your thighs.

You're tightly grasping the sheets on either side of you moments later.

A convincing argument indeed.

Masterlist | Previous Drabble | Next Drabble

#frankie morales x reader #frankie morales x you #frankie morales #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #kissing you #lurking and writing #pedro pascal fic

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cornertheculprit · 2 years ago

Text

Zak: Well, the prelude may have been longer than the main attraction. Shall we begin our game? My final competition?

Phoenix: Final...? Why?

Zak: As you said, I have come out of hiding today to make this document legally binding. Once that is done, I shall slip once more underground.

Phoenix: ...Without seeing your daughter?

Zak: ...... It would be best if I did not. ...Seven years ago, we played. Seven years ago, I lost. I already lost to Magnifi. I do not care to lose to another. And I have heard that you never lose.

Phoenix: ...It's just a rumor.

Zak: Yes... for it is impossible to never lose. Unless one has an ace up one's sleeve.

Phoenix: ......

Zak: As a magician, it causes me no end of irritation. To think a mere lawyer might be out there, pulling the wool over so many eyes.

Phoenix: Hey... I just signed your document for you. Maybe you could try lightening up?

Zak: That was that. This is this. For my final competition, I will destroy your perfect record, Phoenix Wright. This... will be my final performance. You are warned.

Phoenix: (This guy is beyond serious... So much for a fun evening of cards.)

my brain has been rotating this exchange around like a rotisserie chicken in the microwave for the past few days and for the life of me i can't pinpoint WHY it's driving me up a wall in an insane way so i'm just going to write everything i think and hope to god i hit the nail on the head and scratch whatever itch this is causing.

there's something to me about how trucy was the one thing that gave zak pause while he was planning the trick to abandon her and how he still wears the locket of her around his neck and yet how he refuses to even see her even though she keeps a picture of his face hanging in her home and talks to it every day so she won't forget what he looks like and then the next time she hears about him (presumably from phoenix, because she knew about it by the time of turnabout succession) he's dead. and also something about how zak is a man who prioritizes his pride above all else and how he was vengeful enough to hire someone to plant a card on phoenix so that he could either a) break phoenix's seven year win streak himself or b) expose him for "cheating". he was so genuinely pissed about the fact that a "mere lawyer" (or ex-lawyer in this case) was "pulling the wool over so many eyes" in a way that he, a fully-fledged magician, could not that he would resort to his own form of trickery. it kind of mirrors what kristoph did with phoenix seven years earlier—getting someone else to "plant evidence on him" as it were. earlier in their meeting phoenix literally described him as "dangerous" and zak is literally making phoenix go "hey man...calm the fuck down. lighten up a little" in a way that reminds me of people trying to calm a spooked horse. the dialogue when you present the wrong thing to zak (when talking about thalassa) actually reinforces just how fucking SERIOUS zak was:

Zak: ...Let me be frank. It is true I do not wish to talk of her. And now, there is another I could care less about. ...You.

Phoenix: Ah.

Zak: Take care you do not end up "missing" yourself.

Phoenix: (For some reason, it's extra scary when magicians threaten me.)

and i mean he literally did hit olga with the bottle later when he got pissed again so. hm. maybe what's still driving me so insane about it is that it all comes back to the idea of "foolish pride." because remember when phoenix was talking about edgeworth in justice for all and he said "he clutched onto his foolish pride too fiercely... and died for it" and then remember when trucy asked phoenix if he was so sad about losing his badge because of his own "foolish pride" and phoenix says "yeah that's pretty accurate" and trucy says that zak used to talk about "foolish pride" all the time and in the end it's literally zak's foolish pride that got him killed. he TRULY resurfaced from hiding to pass on the gramarye rights yes but given the context of the situation i think it's safe to say that became an afterthought when he realized where phoenix was and what he was doing and that phoenix was living on the reputation of having a perfect record. and speaking of perfect records!!! how funny is it that phoenix gave edgeworth shit for his perfect record and then proceeded to live on one himself? something about edgeworth going "i will do anything to get my guilty verdict. anything." in aa1 and zak calling phoenix out on using trucy as the "ace up his sleeve" during big games and phoenix going "er... gotta use the resources at hand, i always say" because even though he doesn't do it OFTEN he IS doing anything he can to secure his win streak. he's already sickeningly good at poker obviously (just like edgeworth is already sickeningly good at prosecuting) but sometimes you just need that little extra oomph. an extra resource to use. and zak knows. and phoenix knows that zak knows. and maybe that's part of the reason why zak was so angry? not that he has any room to speak (HE IS ALSO DOING ANYTHING TO GET HIS WIN) but that IS his daughter getting used as a "resource" and phoenix reaping the benefits (little as they may be) with his win streak and maybe maybe maybe that win against him seven years ago was a fluke. maybe phoenix wright is nothing without his luck and trucy. but then the game is played and not only does phoenix discover the planted card he even manages to win the game. zak came out of hiding for nothing and was killed for it. phoenix takes the locket (whether it's before or after zak is killed is unclear—nonetheless, he takes it) and eventually tells trucy about the fact that zak is dead. that he didn't want to see her (maybe he doesn't tell her this—but trucy being trucy would realize it). that the reason he was there was to beat phoenix in a game of fucking cards no matter what he had to do. and eventually phoenix hands her the gramarye rights and tells her the second reason zak was there that night and that doesn't really make things better but it doesn't exactly make things worse either. it all comes back to foolish pride doesn't it. foolish pride foolish pride foolish pride!

#this is just how my brain works. i've been typing this post for forty minutes. just sitting here and Thinking

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lavellenchanted · 1 year ago

Note

Hi! I'd love to know more about your nedcy wip!

Hi!! I would love to tell you. So this is a series of vingettes that are my idea of missing or extra scenes from the Nancy Drew video game series focusing on Ned and Nancy's relationship. So far my ideas and the ones I've been noodling on are:

Ned being there when Nancy gets out of jail in Alibi in Ashes

Nancy calling Ned from Shadow Ranch because Dirk and Frances' love story made her think about him

Ned picking Nancy, Bess and George up when their breaks down shortly after Last Train to Blue Moon Canyon and Nancy makes Bess admit that Ned being dependable is a good thing

Ned giving Nancy the locket at the airport before she flies to Venice

Ned picking Nancy up when she gets home after The Captive Curse and the two of them having a conversation about why he was so upset

Nancy and Carson talking about her mother after The Silent Spy and how he felt being left behind and it making Nancy think about Ned

Ned and Bess hanging out during Ghost of Thornton Hall and talking about how they both worry about Nancy

Bess sharing some of that conversation with Nancy after Sea of Darkness and reminding her not to take Ned for granted

Nancy, Frank and Joe coming to "liberate" Ned from college after Labyrinth of Lies

and I waited until I got home from work to answer this so I could share a little snippet with you:

At the thought of Ned, a wave of longing washes over her. It’s been weeks since they’ve spoken, and it’s the longest she’s gone without talking to him since they met. There have been so many times she’s wanted to pick up the phone and dial his number - wanted to tell him about the things she’s seen, things she found, to hear his opinions. Letters just aren’t the same. As much as she loves seeing his handwriting curling over the page, Nancy misses hearing his voice, the warmth as he teases her and the way her heart flutters whenever he laughs. It’s all her own fault - it was her idea, to take a step back, what with his studies and her travelling more, to try and be more casual - but she misses him, and she didn’t realise how much until Dave asked if she had a boyfriend and all she could manage was a stammered, “Sort of”, as it suddenly slammed into her that she doesn’t really know any more. And it hurts more than she thought possible. Sinking down to sit on the bed, she pulls her phone from her pocket and scrolls through the contact menu until she finds Ned’s number. Her thumb hovers over the call button, then before she thinks better of it she presses it and lifts it to her ear. The phone rings once, twice, three times – and keeps ringing, long enough that Nancy’s beginning to wonder, with a sinking feeling of disappointment, if there’ll be no answer. Not really wanting to leave a voicemail, she’s considers hanging up when there’s a click and then Ned’s warm voice speaks into her ear: “Hello?” She smiles, feeling a quiet ache in her chest. It’s been weeks since they’ve spoken, and it’s only hearing him again that makes she realise quite how much she’s missed him. “Hi, Ned.” “Hey, you.” The smile in his words is unmistakeable – Nancy can picture him in his dorm room, leaning back in his chair, that slow grin she loves so much starting to unfurl – but there’s a note of surprise in there as well, and she hates that it is. “It’s good to hear from you.” “You, too. Although I thought you were going to leave me hanging for a bit there, Nickerson,” she teases. There’s a huff of laughter. “Sorry about that. I’ve in the library most of today and my phone was right at the bottom of my bag. So what’s going on?”

#is this just my love letter to ned nickerson? MAYBE SO #but hey what is fic for if not to be incredibly self indulgent #thank you for asking!!#wip titles game #nancy drew #ned nickerson #nedcy #my fic

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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 2 years ago

Text

The first time

Muggle AU

Pairing: Jily, Asexual!Lily

Post for Lily's Birthday tomorrow! I absolutely love her.

**********************

“Okay, everyone!” Lily clapped her hands together with a smile on her face “That’s it for today. Thank you for your cooperation. You may go”

The prefects meeting went alright that week. Lily felt like she was doing a good job as Head Girl. It was kind of interesting getting involved in the students’ activities. Lily felt like she was more part of Hogwarts and was making the school life better. At first, being a Head Girl just looked good in her resume, but she discovered it was actually fun.

“Goodbye children! I’ll convince Mrs. Potter to give us more free time” James said, making everyone laugh. Well mostly everyone.

Lily blushed profoundly but she smiled.

“Not Mrs. Potter and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

But the best part of it all was spending extra time with James.

James and Lily had been having time to get to know each other better. It had been magical and beautiful how they talked about their futures, their hopes, and dreams, their secrets, always including the other in their life plans. They walked around the halls holding hands. They spoke for hours, they laughed until their tummies hurt. And most of all, they snogged until their lips were swollen. It was perfect. I was more than perfect. James was the best boyfriend in the world.

Lily put her hands on her hips and smiled as the prefects left the room.

“Have a good night, Mrs. Potter”

“Shut up, Frank” Lily protested getting even more red, if possible. Alice giggled behind him.

Most of the prefects were nice. Except for Severus, who still stared at Lily as if she had betrayed him. Like Severus hadn’t done anything to ruin their friendship. And he looked at James with hate. Even if James had not done anything to him in a long time. Lily did her best to ignore him, but sometimes Severus kind of freaked her out. Maybe she was paranoid that he might try something to hurt her or break James and her apart.

Lily felt awkward as Severus walked beside her. Lily did her best to look at the floor.

Once Severus was gone, she let out a sigh of relief. But also, she felt a pair of arms wrapping her. James. Lily had to smile.

“Hello Mrs. Potter”

Lily rolled her eyes.

“We are not married”

“What? It was Dumbledore who said that” James protested while Lily laughed “Besides, aren’t we practically the students’ parents?”

Lily turned to face her boyfriend with a smile on her face.

“If that were true, you would be a very irresponsible father” she tutted “You are always promising them more parties and free time”

James nodded “It is all that we deserve”.

Lily chuckled, grabbing James’ hands on her own.

“Oh!” James exclaimed, making Lily jump “I have a surprise for you”

James’ smile was so contagious Lily had to smile as well.

“You’re lucky Miss Evans…” James grinned, as he took out something from his pocket.

“Oh, now I am Miss Evans…”

James ignored her, and showed her a folded piece of paper.

“You have a very romantic boyfriend”

James was too excited, like a child. And he was absolutely adorable. Lily smiled, raising an eyebrow. She took the paper and unfolded it.

Sometimes James acted as if he couldn’t believe he had Lily Evans as his girlfriend. James was extra affectionate, extra nice, extra romantic. Sometimes Lily felt a bit awkward by the whole thing because she was new in all of this. James was her first boyfriend. But the rest of the time, Lily felt in the clouds. Having James was better than whatever romantic cliché movie.

And this little surprise proved it.

The paper contained a picture of Hogsmeade. A beautiful little cabin with a wonderful view of the lake and the castle. It looked like a fairytale. And below the picture, there was some information about the place.

“What is this?”

James giggled and bounced a little.

“You know we have Hogsmeade weekend next week?”

Lily’s cheeks felt on fire for a reason. She knew where this was going.

“Yeah…”

“I was thinking we could sneak out and spend the whole weekend there…” James bit his lower lip to contain his excitement.

Two things crossed by Lily’s brain first.

One: “But James! It is against the rules to spend the night out of the castle… And… “ Two “It must be too bloody expensive to rent a cabin like this”

James laughed.

“I can speak with the boys, and they will surely cover us” James nodded “Besides we are Mr. Headboy and Mrs. Headgirl” James grabbed her waist “We can bend the rules a little…”

James pouted and Lily couldn’t avoid giggling.

“And don’t worry about the expenses” James added “I will cover everything. I am rich, remember?”

James grinned while Lily hit his shoulder gently.

“Wanker…”

“What do you say?”

Lily bit her lip. God dammit. It was so romantic and special. Lily had always dreamt about something like this. Lily loved her friends. She truly did. But they were always around. James and Lily deserved to spend some time on their own.

Lily loved the idea! But she also felt guilty for accepting something like this.

“I don’t know…”

“Come on…” James pulled her closer and leaned to kiss her cheek, and her other cheek, “Comee on… Say yees!” James kissed her temple, and her forehead. Lily giggled “Comee on, babyyy!” James gave her multiple kisses on the lips.

Lily laughed “It is too expensive.”

“Didn’t I say I am rich?”

“James!”

James laughed.

“It is fine, really. Don’t worry”

“Most boyfriends just give their girlfriends flowers” Lily said, playing with James’ collarbone.

“Well, I already gave you that”

Lily showed him her tongue.

“I am better than any regular boyfriend”

Lily chuckled “I can see that”

“See?” James said “You have to come with me” then he kissed Lily below the ear “You are gonna have a wonderful time with your extraordinary boyfriend”

Lily smiled. Wasn’t this what she wanted? Lily dreamed of having romantic experiences like this. She was young. And she deserved to do something wild with James. Lily had always followed the rules. And she never had experiences she could tell her friends about the next day. Surely Mary and Marlene would encourage Lily to do this.

“Fine…” Lily said, facing James.

His smile was something out of this world.

“Really?”

Lily nodded “But if we get into trouble, I am blaming you”

James ignored the last part apparently because he carried Lily in his arms and spinned her around. She let out a small yell.

“I promise you we are going to have the best weekend of our lives!”

Lily laughed.

******************************

As Lily had predicted, her friends Mary and Marlene were surprised to hear Lily’s plan for the weekend. Lily had to admit it felt great to be the one telling a story rather than being the one hearing it, and wishing it was her living it.

“Oh my God, Lily!” Mary exclaimed, smiling amused “I didn’t know you had it in you”

Lily shrugged but she was smiling.

“Isn’t it romantic?”

“Very” Mary nodded “And so James”

“And expensive” Marlene added “I cannot believe the wanker of Potter would waste his money like that”

“Like you wouldn’t like to go to a cabin like that with Dorcas” Mary tutted.

“Everything Is different and acceptable when it is gay” Marlene spat “Heterosexuality is gross”

Lily smiled. Only because she was so damn happy.

“It won’t be gross when Lily loses her virginity like that” Mary crossed her arms, smirking “You’re lucky your first time will be romantic. Mine was in the Slytherin loo”

“Ew…” Marlene protested.

Lily’s smile had disappeared, though. Wait… Lose her virginity? As in having sex for the first time?

“WHAT?”

Mary and Marlene looked at her amused.

“No! We are not going to have sex” Lily shook her head.

Mary snorted.

“So adorable” she smiled.

“Lily” Marlene kneeled down to face her because Lily was sitting on her bed “You’re going to be all alone with James, in a cabin, in the middle of the woods… What do you think is gonna happen? That you’re gonna play some rounds of Monopoly?”

Lily was panicking.

“Yeah?”

“Are you gonna spend the night there?”

“Yeah” Lily nodded.

Mary and Marlene’s expressions said everything. Lily had been so stupid.

“Oh my God!” Lily stood up. She began pacing “Oh my God!”

Lily’s friends observed her, now seated on the bed.

“But James… He didn’t mean that” Lily snorted, trying to convince herself “He’d tried things before and I’ve always stopped him…”

“Really?” Marlene asked.

“I keep telling him that I want my first time to be special and romantic… and …. Oh my God!”

Lily was an idiot. Of course James had taken Lily’s words too seriously.

“James wants to have sex with me!” Lily exclaimed.

Marlene clapped, probably making fun of Lily.

“Boys think about sex ninety percent of the time” Mary explained.

“The other ten percent is bullshit” Marlene added.

“Yeah” Mary agreed.

“Oh my God” Lily began pacing again “What am I gonna do?”

“The question here is if you want to have sex as well” Mary shrugged “Do you want to finally stop being a virgin?”

Lily had felt like an alien several times. Ever since fourth year, people around her, her friends, just started losing their virginity and having sexual experiences. Sometimes Lily felt pressured to do the same. But she couldn’t even come near a bloke without getting to know him first. And once Lily got to know him, nothing happened. She didn’t feel sparks, or goosebumps, her heart racing. Everything romance novels described. Lily didn’t understand how people could just snog others. Without love, passion, or even knowing their names.

Lily was a hopeless romantic. And she’d promise herself to have sex only with someone she loved. Like James for example… She loved James, right?

“Don’t pressure her, Mary” Marlene whispered when Lily started biting her nails.

“I wasn’t!” Mary protested “I was just asking her a question”

“What is going on?” Hestia asked as she entered the dorm.

That’s when Lily dropped to her bed, facing down and hiding her face. She groaned.

“Lily is having a crisis” Marlene explained.

“Oh God!” Hestia sighed “What happened now?”

It was an hour later. They had explained to Hestia the situation. She agreed James wanted sex and called him an asshole. But still Lily didn’t know what to do. Now she was squeezing her pillow and thinking about the homework she hadn’t done and hating herself.

“If I were you, I would totally do it” Mary said “James is fit, such a gentleman, and he is your boyfriend, who you love, and it would be so dreamy to have sex in a cabin like that”

“No!” Hestia disagreed “Lily, I wouldn’t! He is practically forcing you to have sex by bribing you with cabins and romantic bullshit! You are the owner of your body and only you have to decide when you have sex”

Hestia and Mary were quite opposites. Yin and Yang. Always bickering and discussing about the most insignificant things. So Mary rolled her eyes and Hestia crossed her arms indignated.

“If I were you I would kick James in the balls…” Marlene added, eating a some crisps while she spoke “ make sure it is too painful for him to have sex in a long time…” she grinned “And then become a lesbian”

Mary, Lily and Hestia looked at her. Marlene shrugged.

“But that’s just me” she added with her mouth full.

Lily was even more confused than before.

“Maybe I will tell James to cancel the whole thing” Lily sighed.

“Coward!” Mary protested.

“You can use your period as an excuse” Hestia smiled, happy with Lily’s choice “I always do that with Marcus”

“Okay, love” Mary sighed, standing up “It is your decision after all. But you’ll have to face your first time some day. Dreamy cabin or not…” she started walking but she stopped to add something “Just remember carnal stuff is important for boys, and if James doesn’t get it from you, he is going to get it from someone else”

Lily always had this fear that somehow James would get over Lily. That he would realize she wasn’t that great. That all the effort he had done to be with her had been in vain. And he would move on to chase another girl.

“That’s bullshit, Mary!” Hestia yelled as Mary walked to the loo. Mary answered by blowing her a kiss.

It was pure silence after Mary closed the door.

“Very tempting to be gay now, ha?” Marlene joked, but nobody laughed “Crisps?”

Hestia buffed and walked to her bed.

“Don’t listen to her, Lily” Hestia said “You know how Mary is…Sex is… easy for her”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Marlene asked defensively.

Hestia didn’t answer. Mary had a reputation around school, of an easy girl. Very opposite to Lily’s situation.

Lily must have had a sad expression because Marlene climbed down her bed and approached Lily to give her a hug. And several kisses on her forehead.

******************************

I made the reservation for the cabin, gorgeous

Lily’s heart raced as she read the note. Normally James’ little notes in class would make her day. But ever since Lily’s conversation with the girls, Lily’s mind had been a mess. Sometimes she decided it was about time to have sex that it was not a big deal and she loved James. Lily didn’t want to lose him. And other times, Lily freaked out and thought of every excuse not to go to that cabin.

Lily turned to look at him and simply gave James a weak smile as a response. “I love you” James mouthed from his seat, and he smiled widely.

“Hey! What are your plans for the weekend, Prongs?” Lily heard Sirius whisper. He was sitting behind James, next to Remus.

“Hogsmeade” Peter tutted beside James.

“I thought you two already had plans” James answered without even looking at his friends.

“It is not our fault we got detention” Remus added.

“Don’t worry, luckily I already have plans”

“What plans?” Sirius asked.

Lily raised an eyebrow. She was sure that James had already told his friends everything. Especially Sirius. That’s why she had been avoiding the boys. Because she was sure they would tease her. She was embarrassed that they knew Lily and James would be alone in that cabin.

“What plans?” Sirius asked again. He looked pissed to be left out.

James responded with a smile. It was an odd smile though, not like the one he gave his friends. Something was odd. Had Sirius and James been fighting?

“James…” Sirius insisted.

“Mr. Potter, Mr. Black…” Professor Sinistra warned “Please pay attention”

James shrugged and turned back to face the teacher.

Sirius frowned.

“Why wouldn’t he tell me about his plans?” Sirius whispered to Remus “Do you know anything, Moony?”

“No” Remus shook his head “I swear”

Then he noticed Lily was looking and gave her a smile. Lily smiled back and looked away. So Remus didn’t know anything as well.

Lily kind of liked the fact that James’ friends didn’t know anything about their plans.

Maybe this was different. James preferred not to brag. Boys normally loved to talk about their love and sex lives. James was perhaps way more mature than Lily thought. Maybe that kind of gave Lily a hint that she could be sure about having sex with him. Maybe this proved that James was no longer a boy but a man. And maybe Lily should be a woman. And have sex for the first time.

*************************

“Okay… Is it clean? Waxed? Perfumed?”

“Jesus, Mary!” Marlene protested.

“It’s not like you are giving her any pressure,” Dorcas added.

“You as lesbians should know that good hygiene down there is important to…”

“Okaay!” Marlene yelled over Mary, blushing a little “Why do you have to be so open about stuff like this?”

Mary shrugged

“It’s just sex”

Dorcas laughed.

“Are you nervous, Lily?”

Of course the girls had filled Dorcas with the whole story. They were neutral about the situation, as long as Lily was sure of her decision. As long as Lily did what she wanted.

“Yeah. lots” Lily smiled. James was a few meters away talking something with the boys. James was very important to Lily. She loved him and if she had to take this big step with someone, she was glad it was with him. She wanted this. “But I’ll be fine”

“Make sure James uses a condom” Mary added “And by Monday morning we will go to Madam Pomfrey for Birth Control”

Lily’s tummy twisted.

“Okay…”

“And Lily, if you feel uncomfortable…” Marlene added “... or that wanker forces you to do something you don’t want, just gives a call we will think of something to get you out of there”

Lily nodded nervously. Then she sighed.

“I love you, guys”

“Love you too!”

Mary, Marlene and Dorcas gave Lily a group hug. That surely made her feel better.

“Aaaw, can I join?” Peter said as he and James approached. James wrapped his arm around Lily’s shoulder, giving her a soft kiss.

“Hug not for wankers!” Marlene yelled loud enough for Sirius and Remus, who were a few meters back, could hear her “And since Sirius is there, you can have a hug, Peter”

“Very funny, Mckinnon” Sirius crossed his arms while Remus smiled.

“Bye, loves” Mary pouted, extending her arms for them “So sad you cannot go!”

Remus did the same “Bye!”

“Enjoy the castle, assholes” Peter said “That’s for breaking the Marauders’ Code”

“We will!” Sirius chanted.

“The Marauders’ code?” Dorcas asked.

“They did a prank without us”

“In my defense I am new in the code” Remus added

Maybe that was the reason James sounded so pissed with them. Surely something was going on. But Lily was too nervous to think.

“I will miss you, babies” James said, but he sounded cold with them not like always.

“Sure, you will” Sirius spat, giving Lily a nasty look “Let’s go, Moony”

Remus wasn’t as pissed as Sirius because he waved and followed Sirius back in the castle.

“Oh we are gonna have so much more fun than you!” James exclaimed when they were gone, wrapping his arms around Lily “Right, gorgeous?” he added, kissing her cheek.

That comment made Lily blush profoundly.

“Sure you will” Mary commented while Marlene hit her ribs.

“Guess I am stuck with you, girls… And Dorcas” Peter smiled.

Marlene raised her hand “Vote to get Peter absolutely wasted!”

“Seconded!” Mary added.

“Absolutely!” Dorcas raised their hand as well.

Peter looked at them.

“Oh bollocks!” he sighed.

********************************

They didn’t jump into it right away. On the contrary, James showed her the cabin first. Absolutely adorable. It wasn’t that big. But as lovely as in the pictures. King sized bed was beside a big couch. And also beside a nice terrace with an excellent view to the Lake and the Castle. Little kitchen in the front, little table and a bathroom.

Everything was beautiful and lovely. But when Lily saw they were sharing the bed, she panicked.

“What do you want to do first?” James had asked, distracting her “Wander around Hogsmeade and the shops… or swim at The Lake… Or… uuh maybe… Monopoly?”

“Monopoly?”

“Yeah I brought Monopoly with me just in case” James shrugged.

Lily laughed, relieving all her tension. How couldn’t she love James when he was so bloody perfect? Lily had made the right choice. She loved being here with James. Maybe things could happen later. Lily wasn’t so nervous anymore.

“What?”

“I love you” Lily chuckled and gave James a kiss.

James smiled “I love you too”

He returned her the kiss.

“Hogsmeade first?” Lily asked.

“Good idea!” James smirked.

**********************************

All of Lily’s nerves and tension were gone, after spending a few hours with James. They wandered through every shop at Hogsmeade. They tried out some clothes in a vintage shop, and James made Lily laugh with his funny poses when he wore a dress. Until the owner kicked them out. They bought and shared many sweets at Honeydukes. And many kisses. They took lovely and romantic pictures around. James piggybacked Lily around. They walked through the streets holding hands. And James had to warm Lily’s hands every two seconds, because they were getting cold.

“Wouldn’t it be lovely?” Lily asked as they walked to The Three Broomsticks after they decided to spend some time with their friends before returning to the cabin.

“What?”

“To just grow old here. In Hogsmeade” Lily sighed “It is one of the most beautiful places I’ve seen…” she smiled at James and James smiled back “Imagine:...We would own a shop. I am thinking of a coffee shop, not like Madam Puddifoot’s. That place is too mellow. Something more American. Like a Starbucks…”

James nodded amused “Ah…”

“And we would own a cabin by the Lake, kind of the ones Mcgonagall or Dumbledore have. A big one…” Lily chuckled “And our children would go to Hogwarts, obviously. And I would write for an important paper from home”

“All I am hearing is that you would want to marry me and have children with me” When Lily looked at James, he was smirking. Lily blushed. Shit. “Are you proposing, Evans?” James raised an eyebrow.

Lily cleared her throat “No…”

“I do, Miss Evans! I do!” James exclaimed trying to pull Lily closer “I would be honored to be thy husband!”

Lily laughed as she tried to push James away because he was trying to kiss her cheek.

“Get off me, Potter!” Lily giggled.

James laughed but then he stopped, he simply stared at Lily with a smile on his face.

“What?” Lily asked.

“I am so in love with you” James said it just like that. As if it was easy. As if it didn’t take Lily’s breath away. “I love you so much that sometimes I just want to shout it out to the world…” James added with a smile “I should probably shout now…”

“James, no!”

And so James climbed into a bench nearby. Lily’s eyes widened. He wasn’t actually doing it.

“I am in love with Lily Evans!” James shouted to the whole street to hear.

“James!” Lily protested, getting really embarrassed “Get out of there!”

Apparently no one around seemed to care about James’ words. Except for one man that shouted “Good one, son!” and James gave him a thumbs up. And some third year students who were laughing- God, they knew who they were.

Lily blushed as she pulled James down the bench.

“Stop it!” Lily said as James climbed down “You’re an asshole!”

James smiled.

“I love you too” Lily added, giving him a kiss.

Lily couldn’t believe she ever doubted James. Everything she felt for him was love. Wasn’t that enough to have sex with him? Lily didn’t want to think about it. She just wanted to enjoy the rest of the day.

************************************

“Why didn’t you tell your friends about our plans?” Lily asked.

James and Lily ate some burgers with their friends at Madam Rosmerta's. Peter was already getting tipsy when they left. And they spent the rest of the afternoon swimming at the Lake. The sunset had been beautiful and the water was deliciously warm. And James kissed her above the water and underneath the water but just that. Everything had been perfect as long as Lily didn’t think about the whole sex situation.

And now it was night and they were warming up by the little chimenea the place offered. Lily was between James’ arms, feeling sleepy and warm and everything was perfect.

James was silent for a minute.

“There is something going on…”

Lily knew it.

“I only told Peter about our plans…” James continued “But Sirius and Remus know by now”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know if I should tell you” James buried his face on Lily’s shoulder.

“Oh come on!” Lily insisted “They are my friends as well”

“Apparently…” James sighed “Sirius and Remus are secretly seeing each other”

“As in…”

“A gay couple, yes”

Lily smiled. She already knew this. She accidentally saw them kissing last term. Of course they didn’t know she knew. But still.

“So?” Lily giggled.

“They lied to me” James explained “They hid it from me. And I hate that”

“You hate that they are dating?”

“No! I hate that they didn’t tell me”

“Maybe… They are scared of what you’ll say…” Lily tried.

“Exactly! Why are they scared? It is not as if I am some homophobic asshole” James sounded so sad by this “It’s as if Sirius doesn’t trust me anymore…”

Lily turned to face James. James was rubbing his hair in frustration as he always did when he was angry. Lily squeezed his shoulder.

“I am thinking about all the gay jokes we’ve done…” James frowned “And how I flirt with him all the time…”

Lily smiled “So what?”

“That’s homophobic!”

“Is it?”

“And Remus… I wasn’t very nice to him when he arrived, that’s maybe why he doesn’t trust me”

Lily giggled because she found adorable how James thought he was a bad friend when he actually cared deeply about them.

“It’s not funny, Lily!” James whined “I thought I was a good friend to them but apparently I am the asshole that wouldn’t understand, the asshole that would judge them. They are scared of me. They are scared to tell me”

“But they hadn’t told anyone”

“Peter knew. That’s what pisses me off more!” James groaned.

Lily scooped closer leaning her chin on James’ shoulder.

“You’re not an asshole” she said, trying to calm him down “They trust you. Just give them time”

Lily finished by giving James a soft kiss on his neck.

James turned to look at Lily and smiled. Lily smiled back.

“Let’s not talk about this on our special day” James leaned in to give her a kiss on the lips this time.

“But you’ll have to talk to them and let them know you know…”

“Mmm…” James interrupted her with another kiss “I don’t want to talk about them” another kiss.

“Okay…”

They began kissing slowly and tenderly. Then James’ kisses began getting intense. And soon they began snogging without stopping. Only taking a few breaths. They’ve done this. Lily liked kissing James. But Lily noticed this time James wasn’t looking only for kisses.

James leaned closer while Lily pulled away, so she ended up dropping to the floor. Before she could protest, James climbed on top of her.

It is happening, Lily thought. It is actually happening. I am having sex. With James. He is the boy I love. He is the boy I love.

The last thought made Lily let James continue. James’ body was warm moving on top of Lily. He was eager, and Lily could feel or rather hear his heart beating fast. Or maybe it was hers.

When James moved to kiss Lily’s chin and neck, Lily felt immediately uncomfortable. She kept thinking of what would come next. And Lily wondered why it wouldn't be like in the movies. Where couples kissed, dropped to the bed and then the next scene they were naked in bed, cuddling and being soft. Lily knew it didn’t work like that. But she thought perhaps sex was more romantic, getting united with the other person, becoming one.

This didn’t feel romantic or nice. This didn’t feel like love.

When James’ hands started feeling everywhere, Lily felt dirty. It started on Lily’s chest and it went down slowly to Lily’s thigh.

“James…” Lily didn’t like this.

“Mmm… I love you too” James whispered as he continued kissing her collarbone.

“James, stop!” Lily pushed James away “STOP!”

James stopped moving and faced her with a worried expression. But he was still on top of Lily and she wished he would just move away.

“Gorgeous…”

When James went to kiss Lily’s mouth again, she looked away.

“Get off me, please!” Lily pushed him again.

James did as he was told. He looked worried.

“Lily, what’s wrong?”

Lily sat up, and hugged herself. Mostly to hide the fact that she was shaking.

“Amm…” Lily said, looking to the floor “I’m just tired. It was a long, busy day. Can we just go to sleep?”

“Just go to sleep?”

James looked disappointed. He wasn’t angry. He was just disappointed.

“We are not at school, Lily” James added “It’s not a school night”

“I am just tired”

“I thought we agreed on something” James spat “That’s why I rented this fucking cabin!”

That hurt Lily first. For a second she wanted to cry but then she felt furious.

“We didn’t agree on anything!” Lily snapped back “I thought we were spending a lovely weekend here. You didn’t say anything about sex”

“Oh come on, Lily” James said “It was obvious I wanted something to happen. I thought you were on the same page!”

Lily was static for a second.

“You’re such an asshole!” Lily yelled, standing up and swallowing her tears. She crossed her arms and looked away.

James stood up as well.

“You said that you wanted your first time to be romantic!” James yelled “I did everything I thought you wanted! I thought this would be perfect enough for you”

Lily didn’t answer. She silently started to cry.

“But apparently the place and the circumstances don’t matter to you! It wasn’t that…You just don’t love me!” James’ voice broke at the last part.

Lily turned to look at him. His eyes were watery as well. He was hurt.

“I do love you” Lily whispered.

“Everytime I try to get close to you, you reject me” James cried “I love you. And I’ve tried to be patient but I don’t know what to do with this need… “ he sighed “I want you. I want you so badly and it seems like you don’t want me back. Are you disgusted by me or something?”

“I’m sorry” Lily whispered, her voice was getting smaller “I’m not ready”

Lily wondered if she would ever be.

“Lily, we’ve been dating for months now! And you’re not a freaking child anymore!” James shouted “You’re almost eighteen! Don’t be such a prude”

And Lily couldn’t take it anymore. She began crying. She covered her face because she was embarrassed.

That’s when James’ expression softened. And he realized what he had done.

“No, Sorry, gorgeous!” James said “I am so sorry!... FUCK I am such an idiot!”

Lily felt James’ wrapping around her in such a gentle way. He was being careful. So careful now.

“I am sorry, baby! I am sorry!” James said over and over again “I am such an idiot” he cupped Lily’s face and gave her a soft and long kiss on the forehead “I am so sorry, baby”

Lily continued crying anyway. Not because of what James had said anymore. But because James was also crying. And everything felt so vulnerable and real. And mostly because Lily felt guilty. And she felt guilty that James felt guilty.

It wasn’t their first fight, God no. But it was surely the most real one.

James pulled her closer and hugged her tight.

“I love you!” a kiss on her head “I love you!” another “I love you! I love you! I love you!”

Lily buried herself on James’ chest, in his smell and let herself cry.

*****************************

Everything felt calmer after a while. James and Lily were lying in bed, under the covers. It was probably too late but none of them dared to drift to sleep just yet.

None of them was angry anymore. Lily surely wasn’t. It felt so weird. Lily had felt anger and rage towards James for a second, right when he shouted at her. But when the storm had calmed down, all she felt for him was love. She felt as if maybe Lily would never stop loving James, no matter how angry she would get at him, no matter what he did.

It had been a misunderstanding. It was normal for James to want their first time to be magical. He had planned everything. And he really thought Lily was on the same page. Lily had been. She would’ve done things with James if she was a normal girl. Any girl in their right mind, having a boyfriend like James, would’ve done things by now.

Now that she had James close, Lily felt the urge to hold him and kiss him again. She felt goosebumps and her chest burning. She wanted to have James, but maybe avoiding the sex part. If that made sense. Why was Lily so scared? Why didn’t she feel a desire other than gentle touches? Why didn’t she want James like that?

They had been silent for a while now, just staring at each other. Perhaps saying everything with their eyes. James’ eyes were full of guilt, and sadness and disappointment. He looked at Lily with worry that he might’ve broken her or something. His eyes were wilder and bigger without glasses.

James’ hand trembled as he reached Lily’s cheek. He hesitated but he gave it a stroke. Lily smiled, to let him know it was okay.

“I am sorry” James whispered “I love you”

“Love you too”

“I am sorry” James said again.

Lily snorted “You said that already”

“It’s just that I am really sorry”

“It’s okay, James”

James sighed and moved to face the ceiling. James had such a dull expression. Lily wanted things to be okay. They were having such a good time. They could forget about the whole thing. Maybe they could talk it out.

“Maybe we can cuddle and count sheep until we fell asleep” Lily suggested, giving James a smile, trying to find his gaze “Like last time”

James closed his eyes and hummed, giving Lily a weak smile.

“James?”

“Yeah…” James said, pulling Lily closer “Come here”

Lily placed her head on James’ chest. And he immediately stroked her hair gently.

Lily was worried that perhaps James was regretting being with Lily. That he could have anyone else. Any girl would want to be with him. Any girl would want to have sex with him.

“I will understand if you want to break up with me” Lily said after a while.

“What?”

Lily faced him.

“Because I don’t want to have sex with you” Lily added.

James shook his head immediately. He touched Lily’s face gently.

“Lily, you are the most important thing I have” James said “I love you! I wouldn’t dare to leave you”

“But…”

James leaned closer.

“I would wait for you forever” he said, softly, looking into Lily’s eyes “I’ll give you all the time you need” he sighed “I don’t want to be the asshole that pressures you or makes you do something you don’t want”

Lily made a pout “What if you’ll have to wait … Like for a really long time?”

James smiled “I’ll wait any time”

“What if I’ll make you wait until we are eighty?”

James raised an eyebrow and then laughed.

“I’d still wait” James said, giving Lily a soft kiss “And it would be the best sex an eighty-year-old man could have”

Lily giggled. James smiled. Lily loved that beautiful smile of his. She would do anything for that beautiful smile not to disappear.

“I love you” she whispered.

“You’re not gonna make me wait until we are eighty, right?” James made a pout.

Lily chuckled. But when she leaned her head on James’ chest again, her smile disappeared. What if she couldn’t have sex until she was really old? What if she could never have sex? James didn’t deserve to have a sexless life. She couldn’t do that to him. What if Lily had to let him go so another girl could give him what he wanted? She felt sick thinking about James with another bird. But she couldn’t be selfish.

“Lils?” James said after a while, playing with Lily’s hair now “I am sorry I yelled at you. And I am sorry you felt like I was forcing you to have sex with me…” James sighed “This is what I was talking about. With the whole Sirius and Remus situation and now this… Sometimes I scare myself…”

Lily turned to face him again.

“James!”

James smiled weakly.

“I was not the best person in the past” he added, looking away “You were right to hate me. Maybe I will always be that asshole, even if I am trying to change”

Lily grabbed James’ chin and forced him to look at her.

“The reason I hated you was because I was idiot that didn’t know the wonderful person you actually are”

James smiled.

“And because Severus poisoned my brain” Lily sighed.

“I did terrible things to him”

“He exaggerated most of the time” Lily said “They were all silly pranks and jokes”

James shook his head.

“I made his life miserable”

Lily played with James’ untidy hair. She loved touching it because it seemed untidy and wild but it was actually so soft.

“The fact that you regret it proves that you've matured and changed” Lily explained “You don’t bother him anymore”

James sighed. Not quite believing Lily’s words.

“No wonder you feel insecure with someone like me”

Lily felt guilty again. She looked away and sat up, making a ponytail with her hair.

“Okay, the sex thing again…” she sighed.

James closed his eyes in frustration and cursed himself. He groaned, holding from Lily’s waist.

“See? I am an asshole, Lily!”

Lily smiled and patted his back.

“I am going to explain everything. Tell you the truth and be open, okay?”

James rolled over and imitated Lily’s position. He grabbed his glasses from the night stand and put them on.

“Okay…”

“I want to have sex with you” Lily started. then she frowned “But not, actually…”

James looked at her in confusion.

“Sex is a vital part of romance” Lily continued “It is always there in movies, books. It is the ultimate thing that couples do to seal their love”

“Yeah?…”

“I always knew I had to have sex” Lily added “That it was just normal. And if other people did it just like that, I wouldn’t because I was a hopeless romantic, and one day I would feel attracted to someone. That I would fall in love and everything would happen naturally”

James nodded, confirming that he was understanding.

“But even if I cared for people, I didn’t fancy them. I never felt that way” Lily continued “Until I fell in love with you”

James smiled, and grabbed her hand.

“So I don’t understand why I still cannot do it” Lily sniffed, wanting to cry again “You didn’t catch me by surprise today. I also thought about it. Because the plan was perfect and I love you. And I am almost eighteen. And you’re simply perfect… I’ve thought about it!” Lily whined “I think about it all the time…”

James smirked, raising an eyebrow “All the time?”

Lily hit his shoulder.

“Not like that!” Lily protested while James laughed “Not in a perverted erotic way… Just the idea of it. Without any details”

Lily was blushing, so she looked away. James was amused. He put a lock of her hair behind her ear.

“Not sex as in carnal pleasure. Not as the idea of someone’s body as the object of desire” Lily said “But sex as the union of two people that love each other. The intimacy. An expression of love that goes beyond some silly kisses and touches. I mean I would like it to be like kissing and touching but more profound”

Lily realized James was looking at her in a different way.

“I might be sounding childish and stupid” she chuckled.

James shook his head.

“No, love” he said “Everything you’d just told me sounded so mature… You’re not a girl anymore, you’re a woman”

James kissed Lily’s knuckles.

“A woman that doesn’t want to have sex” Lily pouted.

James smiled.

“And that profound feeling, or expression of love…” James said, shyly “Do you feel it with me?”

Lily looked at him.Of course she felt it. Maybe it was the fact that Lily hadn’t loved anyone before but she had never felt this way about anyone. Being this close with James, having these conversations, getting to know everything about him, every side of him; all of it gave Lily a rush of adrenaline. A desire to bury herself into him. A desire to merge with him into one. A desire to be his, and him to be hers. Was that the meaning of having sex? Then Lily would do it gladly. But Lily felt there was so much left to learn about James. There was so much more to share with him. There was so much more to live with him. She wasn’t ready.

“Of course” Lily smiled. James smiled as well “But maybe I need time to.. connect my heart and my mind with my body”

James sighed and nodded, understandingly. He scooped closer and cupped Lily’s face between his hands.

“You’re are truly amazing, Lily” he said, looking into her eyes “I am so in love with you”

Lily was so overwhelmed, she trembled a little.

“And… I would love to reach that mystical sex level…”

Lily laughed at that. James was such an idiot. He was obviously teasing.

“With you…” James chuckled “Because it sounds truly amazing…”

Lily started hitting James in a playful way, laughing, while he covered himself. He was laughing as well.

“You're a total wanker!” Lily pushed James down and climbed on top of him to tickle him.

“Sorry!” James laughed “Okay, okay. Sorry!”

They laughed until they were out of breath. And then they stopped, looking into each other’s eyes.

“I love you” James said.

“I love you too” Lily answered.

“Now Lily, how am I going to wait for you if you sit on my lap in such a compromised position?” James joked.

Lily realized it was true. She was sitting on his lap, with her legs on each side of his waist. Lily blushed.

“I mean I am trying to keep my composure…” James tutted.

Lily rolled her eyes and attempted to try and hit him again

James laughed “And you keep… ahahah… tempting me”

“Shut up, you asshole!” Lily giggled.

Lily figured everything was fine. They could wait to have their desired first time. Maybe that way it would be extra special. Lily was so in love with James that she wanted to live everything with him. But everything at its right time. They were only seventeen. They had their whole lives ahead of them.

#marauders era #muggle au #marauders muggle au #lily evans #asexual lily evans #asexual!lily #asexuality #james potter #jily #james x lily #wolfstar #mary macdonald #marlene mckinnon

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queer-triple-a · 2 years ago

Text

A Nonbinary Heritage

Introduction

Hello All!

Today's story is extra special to me. It was sent to me by someone who has been reading these stories and found a few pieces of their own history which they thought might make a good addition to my Anthology. This story comes includes snippets of a couple's early days together and was sent in by their great-grandson Jerry. I've included the email I got from Jerry at the end (with his permission).

I hope you enjoy his ancestor's love story as much as I did. I'm so incredibly grateful he is trusting me to tell this story

Content Warning:

Internalized Transphobia

You can also read this story on my website, linked here.

Documents from Jerry

Local Advertisement in The Grand View Gazette

Thursday, May 30, 1878

32 year old bachelor, farmer with steady income and kind disposition seeks good-natured woman; object matrimony. Address: [blacked out for privacy]

June 3th, 1878

Dear Nancy Brawnson,

Or should I call you Nathanial? Please respond to clarify this for me. I am Courtney Buffington, the daughter of the head of the post office and perhaps the only person in Idaho who could know you by both names. My father said I ought to reply to the matrimony ad, yet when I asked him who placed it, he said, “Nancy placed it for her brother, Nathanial.”

You may not know this, but I am quite close friends with Antonia Vaughn, who cuts your hair. She says you have not mentioned any brothers. In fact, according to her, you left every ounce of family in Chicago when you bought Benny Artley’s farm. Not that I hold any judgment for that action. Family can be a blessing and a burden. I imagine yours was quite the burden to push you all the way out here. I still don’t know how a single woman bought a farm, but I imagine she’d have to be pretty desperate to try.

Gossip sources aside- If a man named Nathanial truly is seeking a wife, please consider this response to be my application. I do not know if Nathanial is you or not, but if it is, I find the idea of a courtship even more appealing. Though I may not know you as a man, I do know you to be kind, gentle, and beautiful. Antonia has (more than once) told me she believes we could be good friends, and she is quite the matchmaker. I have known people who married for worse reasons than that.

I hope this letter finds you well and my forward nature does not offend you. No matter whether you are Nancy or Nathanial, I would like to get to know you more.

With Kindness,

Courtney Harriet Buffington

June 10th, 1878

Miss Courtney H Buffington,

I write in response to your letter, which inquired after Nathanial. You are right to question who he is, as no one in the town has met Nathanial. In this letter, I will explain myself and, in doing so, explain Nathanial. I ask for your discretion as I share this with you. If needed, I will beg for your silence. I hesitate to tell you this at all. It is your forward charm and - to meet your frankness with my own - your willingness to entertain marriage with me if I were Nathanial that gives me the courage to write this. You do not seem disturbed by the idea of marrying a man which you know as a woman. I do not understand this in you, but it is this quality which allows for my honesty.

Nathanial does not exist in any real way. He is fictionalized. Your memory (and that of Antonia Vaughn) serves you well, I have no siblings. What family I do have is kind and lovely; however, where I am from, there was much control over who I could become.

Looking back on my written words thus far and forward to the words I intend to write, I see a lie. Nathanial does exist, he exists legally. It is in his persona I bought my farm. I then transferred the little to myself. My “brother’s” name is still on the paperwork, but everyone in town knows it is my farm.

That is all there is to know about Nathanail, so now I shall tell you about Nancy. Once again, I beg for your discretion.

Since arriving here, I have struggled under the name Nancy. I am not sure how best to describe my discomfort, but I will try. Being a woman does not suit me. It is like putting on clothes worn by a grandmother: despite the charm those clothes have, they look strange on a young woman. Womanhood fits me strangely, and the strangeness makes me feel a stranger to myself. Yet on the occasion I have dressed as Nathanial, this too has felt like a costume. It brings me discomfort not merely because I am wearing others' clothes but because I am being someone which I am not. If this were merely clothes, I suppose it would be less distressing. It runs deeper than that. It runs to my very core. In my core, I know I am not a woman, nor am I a man. Neither title suits me.

I suppose this may be more than you asked for. You merely wished to know who Nathanail was and why he was looking for a wife. These words I have written may not directly answer your question - yet I shall leave them in my letter because I need this part of myself to exist beyond my mind.

I hope it will bring clarity to some of the questions you asked in your letter. I beg your kindness and understanding upon reading this. I trust it is quite a shock to see and hope it does not make you regret your inquisition. No matter your reaction, I once again ask you to keep this a secret.

I do not intend to leave your question of my advertisement unanswered. My advert in the paper was genuine in some ways. I intend to write to the woman who responds and explain that I intend to be her husband but that I also intend to remain Nancy in public. I have not yet worked out the details for this plan, but it seems my only option for marrying not as Nancy nor as Nathanial. Surely no woman in town would marry someone they already know as Nancy, and I have never had much taste for men. Therefore I am hoping by reaching out to someone outside our community, I might live two lives. One in my home and one in my community. It may not be ideal, but I fear it is the best solution I have found.

Courtney, I hope this letter answers your questions and does not dissuade you from your belief that we would be good friends. If it does, I beg you to keep this scandal to yourself. I have decided to trust you.

Best,

June 12th, 1878

Dearest N,

Before I even arrive at the pleasantries of this letter, I must thank you for entrusting this portion of yourself to me. I won’t share this news with anyone. It will remain a secret which you alone have the power to share. I am honored you felt you could tell me about this, and I hope sharing this has lifted some burden from you.

I hope this letter finds you well, but quite frankly, I hope it does not find you with a marriage request in response to your advert. I hope you do not take insult and quit reading, for I believe you will be interested in the other things I have to say. I do not say this to be rude. I merely think there is an option available to you which you have not considered.

My recommendation for you, or perhaps I should say for us, is to be together. This solves several problems for you. You will not need to try and explain yourself to a new woman. You won’t need to be called Nathanial (a name which I, unfortunately, associate with my grandmother’s eldest brother) or Nancy if you do not want. I will address you however you please. And since you have already explained to me who you are and I have accepted you, you need not fear rejection on the basis of these feelings.

My father always told me he moved out west to escape the rules of society and start over in untouched land. The way I see it, this fits right in. My dad moved to escape taxes, my mom to escape her ex, and it seems like you moved to escape something larger than that. Why should you have to be a woman or a man? I can’t promise everyone will get that, but it’s not their journey it’s yours. So why don’t you tell me what to call you (I’m assuming not Nancy), and I’ll try to walk beside you?

Yours,

Courtney Harriet Buffington

June 16th 1878

Dear Miss Courtney H Buffington,

I much appreciate your compassion, understanding, and discretion. To read your letter lifted a fear which settled in me the moment I posted my letter to you. It is good to know my trust was not misplaced.

Your letter was more than kind; however, I would feel too guilty to accept your offer. You should not feel forced to marry me merely because it solves my problems. Let me not be seen as ungrateful, I am quite appreciative of the thought which you have put into this situation. It is because of your kind and open heart that I cannot accept your proposal. You deserve to be with someone who will not complicate your life in the way I will. You need not walk my path with me just because I am alone. I will persevere.

I shall continue with my plan to wed a woman as Nathanial. As I said before, I have not fully developed this plan, but I have no reason yet to believe it won’t be possible to do this without burdening my wife. If you do have suggestions, I would love to hear them.

I hope this letter brings you relief from the thought of a lifetime with my confusion. I thank you again for the level of kindness in your words.

Kindly,

Nell

June 18th, 1878

Dearest Nell,

I would like to begin this letter by informing you I received no “relief” from your words. I instead received frustration at being told you were going to ignore my offer of courtship or marriage in favor of your scheme to risk your prospects and happiness on a woman who will answer a newspaper advert for marriage. Your rejection stings less for its kindness, but it was a rejection no less. I don’t imagine you saw it this way, though.

You seemed to be under the impression you were doing me a favor by denying me a chance to be with you. This is not true.

Perhaps I was not clear enough in my letter to you. Allow me to take this time to be very clear with my wants and intentions.

I would like to be with you.

If we see fit, I would like to marry you.

This is not a choice I am making out of pity. My wanting to be with you is not an altruistic act of charity. It is a desire I have.

I want to be with you because the times I spent with you in town prior to your correspondence have always brought a smile to my face. I want to be with you because you do not shy away from my brashness but instead embrace it. I want to be with you because of you.

In my last letter, I believe I spoke too much about who you are and your gender when I explained my proposition. It may have implied I was marrying you merely to lighten whatever burden you are carrying. This is not the case. I hope this letter makes that clear to you.

If I may be frank, if you do not marry me, I will need to marry a man. I do not want this for myself. Men disinterest me.

If you do not trust that I will be with you because I find you to be a compelling person, then trust that I would much rather marry someone who is neither man nor woman than marry a man. I want to be with you because it seems the best way for both of us.

I could take time to explain to you the plethora of problems with your advertisement plan, but I do not need to. The only reason that matters is this: you do not need another plan.

If you would rather not be with me, I will accept your rejection, but I beg you not to do so on my behalf.

I want you, Nell.

I want us.

Whatever struggles lie ahead of us, I would like to tackle them together. I think we would make a fearsome and wonderful pair.

With Love and Hope,

Courtney Harriet Buffington

June 26th, 1878

Dear Courtney,

I apologize for the delay in my response. I hope the extra time I spent considering your letter and my response did not cause you distress or doubt. Your letter gave me much to consider and awoke in me feelings I did not expect.

I would like to have the chance to give you a proper response to your letter. If you would do me the honor, I would take you to dinner next Friday, the fifth of July, after the stores close for the day. We can picnic on my property, so we do not need to worry about the perceptions of those around us. I shall not spoil the excursion by giving my thoughts here, but I will tell you I think you will approve of my decision.

There is much that I shall refrain from disclosing now so that I may tell you in person. But there is something I feel compelled to share which I fear I will be too shy to say aloud in your presence.

Courtney, you make me feel wanted.

The weight of this feeling has controlled much of my thoughts the past three days. At first, I could not understand why it felt so different and so novel. I thought I had been wanted and needed before. My parents wanted me around and needed my help with chores. I have had friends who enjoyed my company enough to invite me to dinner. There was even a boy who courted me briefly before I moved to Idaho.

It took those three days for me to understand why this felt so different- so vulnerable and rare. The reason came to me yesterday morning as I sat on my porch watching the sunrise with only my guitar to keep me company. I was strumming mindless chords and picking simple melodies one moment. The next moment my hands were still as a clear note rang out through the fields, aglow with a new dawn.

You call me Nell.

In your letter.

You tell me you want Nell.

Beyond myself, you are the only person to know Nell. You know me as I am, and yet you want me.

To trust your letter means to believe that I, Nell, am wanted. I find I do trust your letter, and it may be the honor of my life to be wanted by you, Courtney. It is not just an honor because you are funny, smart, and beautiful but because I want you as well.

I hope I shall see you soon.

Yours,

Nell

Local Announcement in The Grand View Gazette

December 10, 1878

Nathanial “Nell” Brawnson, brother of local Nancy Brawnson, was married to Courtney Harriet Buffington by her father, Benjamin Buffington, at the County Courthouse last Sunday. Any well wishers should send their post to the Brawnson Farm, where the couple will reside.

Email from Jerry Clark

Dear Chrys,

Today is August 5th, 2022, and I am writing to discuss my late relatives, Nell and Courtney Brawnson.

My grandchild Dakota introduced me to your newsletter. While reading it, I was reminded of the box of letters and newspaper clippings my mom passed down to me when she moved out of her house. She has kept these letters safe for decades. They are my great-grandparent’s love story. Dakota helped me scan them into the computer to mail to you.

I was fortunate enough to know both Pappy Nell and Grandma Courtney when I was small. They’ve since passed on, but we remember them kindly. Recently I told Dakota about their great-great-great grandparent Nell. Nell was special. He didn’t like to be called a grandfather or a father. He insisted he was just a parent. I think if he were still here, he would use the they pronouns like Dakota does.

Their wife Courtney was special, too, in a different way. She and Nell adopted seven children, including my late grandfather Brainard Brawnson. Courtney wore the pants in their relationship. She ran her home well and helped Pappy Nell run the farm. My grandfather said she had a firm mouth but a gentle hand. Everyone who knew them said Courtney loved Nell deeply, and you could always see Pappy Nell’s love on his face.

We found these letters when Granny Courtney died at 106 in the year 1956. My mom said Pappy Nell was always strange, and these letters just seemed to confirm that he was always odd. I didn’t think about these oddities much until Dakota told me about non-binary. I tried to ask my mother if she thought Pappy Nell might also be non-binary, but my mother was somewhat unwell that day, and I do not think she understood the question. She did seem to grasp that Dakota is like her grandparent, though. We don’t have to understand everything about the people we love to love them, but we can try.

I hope you and your friends enjoy reading about my Pappy Nell and Granny Courtney.

Best,

Jerry Clark,

great-grandson of Nell and Courtney Brawnson

Outroduction

I would like to once again thank Jerry for reaching out and letting me share this story.

I'm delighted that next week we will also be sharing a story sent to me by a descendent of the people involved.

Stay queer and take care of yourselves,

Chrys

#An Assumptive Anthology #queer triple a #non-binary #nonbinary #letters #epistolary #lesbian #sapphic #love story #lgbt #lgbtqia+#lgbtq #sapphic love story #nonbinary love story #guys its just very precious #and i named the character with the initials nb becuase i think im funny nonbinary

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vaspider · 1 year ago

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Thank you all so much.

We have exceeded the goal that I set to cover any medications and Mila's final expenses, whenever they come. It may be days, or it may be weeks. We don't know exactly right now -- but we know we're in a hospice state now. I had a really long talk with the oncologist today (while Emet was out of the house, so we could have a really frank conversation without upsetting her), and the upshot is that yeah, we could maybe prolong her life another month or two by going back to the super aggressive chemo strategy, but that would require us to shell out $700 per treatment and Mila would have to go to the oncologist every like… week or two, and she'd be spending the whole day at the oncologist's, getting IV treatments, which she hates, and who knows if spending all that money would even WORK, we don't really know…

… we've hit the point where yeah, maybe we could get a little extra time, but that would require putting her through a lot of things that she hates, spending way more money than we have, and maybe it wouldn't even work at this point. So the answer is clear: we're upping her steroid dose to try to shrink her lymph nodes a little for her comfort, and we're putting her on really good pain meds, and…

Our plan is to get through Hanukkah if possible (we don't know how this is going to go, so right now we're just playing it by ear) and then Make A Plan. Really, I just don't want Hanukkah to become The Time When Mila died. This will be the second dog that we've lost in the latter half of December/around Xmas & the New Year, because Lex, Emet's previous dog, passed away suddenly on 12/27/16. He'd had seizures his whole life & finally just had one too many and his brain stopped working. He was trying to get up on the bed, seized, fell on the floor, and woke up one more time before having another seizure. And then Emet's job fired her for missing work the day after her dog died, when she hadn't slept for 30 hours. Just a fun time.

Anyway. Yeah. We're in a hospice state right now. Mila is on good painkillers -- she's on a souped-up dose of gabapentin as well as taking codeine -- and when she's not in pain, she's very snuggly and pleasant to be around, and she just wants to get treats and give kisses. Basically, we get our lovely, lovey girl back when her shoulders and neck and back don't hurt.

Mood, baby girl. Mood.

Any donations which exceed Mila's actual final expenses will be put toward the health care of our other dogs -- even with all of the help that we've gotten (thank you thank you thank you), we've had to put off a lot of things which the other dogs need to get done. Rumba's mouth smells like a garbage can because he needs to get his teeth cleaned, and Cap needs to get his teeth cleaned and have a couple of benign fatty tumors removed (they're not cancer! they've been tested! we're just having them removed for his comfort!), and Davos needs his teeth cleaned and a fatty tumor removed (shepherds! they grow lumps!) so if we end up with any extra dollars, they'll go to catching up the boys on the health care we've put off so we could focus on taking care of our princess.

We are finally home from the emergency vet.

Mila spent 4 days pacing and unable to settle. She asked for food, for water, for upstairs, for downstairs, but she could never settle. When it got to Tuesday and nobody had really slept for days and it was getting worse, not better, Evie and I took her to the emergency vet that's connected to her oncologist. We left Emet home to snuggle Cap and Rumba and get a nap which they desperately needed.

Mila got painkillers - dilaudid in an IV and codeine to take at home - and they raised her gabapentin dose, gave us some sedatives, and so on.

We will be talking to the oncologist tomorrow, but unless he has some miracle plan to dramatically shrink her lymph nodes, it's going to be time to set a final date and then make a bucket list for Mila.

We said we would keep her around for as long as we could have Good Days, and the last 4 days have been just... terrible. She was in so much pain from her lymph nodes pushing on her spine and didn't know how to tell us.

Emet kind of expected the news we brought home. We don't want another Kusto - where we hang on too long *for us* and should have said goodbye before we did - and we are all on the same page there.

It absolutely sucks, but we knew it was coming.

I got us set up with a euthanasia service at the start of this, so we will be able to say goodbye to her at home & the other dogs will be able to see her body and know that she has died, so they'll be able to grieve. Dogs understand death and they understand loss. We don't want them to think she's just disappeared.

That said... we just wiped out the last of what we had squirreled away for her next chemo round, and we'll need help with her final expenses if folx can spare anything. I know we've asked a lot, and I appreciate it more than I can say.

We got a lot more time with her than we expected, and it's been entirely because we have had your support. We had money to be able to say, "it's $60 for the pain meds? Yes. Give them to her right now, please."

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

#lyudmila pupperchenko #pet illness tw #pet death

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lonelywhalien22 · 2 years ago

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I'm so excited for D-DAY! Yoongi is my bias-wrecker in BTS LOL and I'm forever in love with his mindset/lyricism. He has a way of writing things straightforward, but still being comforting (versus Namjoon's very poetic and wise writing style). That's my favorite part too!!! I also liked the reference to IU's 'Eight':

I loved this softer side of 'People Pt 2' and how it reflects Yoongi's growth as an artist and a person! Aaaggghh he's just one of those people that you wish a little extra success for, ya know? Idk - he makes me soft! LOL. All the references to past AUGST D and BTS songs (and maybe even IU's 'Love Poem'???) was tastefully done 🤌🤌🤌 I also really loved seeing him harmonize with IU 😍😍😍 they sounded really good together?! To be frank though . . . I don't quite understand the connection between the original 'People' and 'People Pt 2' yet, but I could also just be thinking too much into it (if you know, help a slow-brained friend out? 😅😂).

OMG OMG OMG NCT Dream concert 😭😭😭 if I had more money I would definitely go again HAHAHA. I think I'm still going through post-concert depression LOL because I woke up kind of down and tired today for no reason 😓

My favorite performance was 'Trigger the Fever' and (surprisingly) 'Saturday Drip'!!! Mark did a little bit of 'Golden Hour' as well so that was fun!!! (Thoughts on this solo song too???) NGL, I had a little bit of Renjun tunnel vision, so I only remember him and bits of Haechan/Mark during 'Trigger the Fever' 😭😂 They looked like they were having so much fun and just feeling themselves, it made me so happy! I'm always a little biased towards rap line performances in Kpop LOL because I just like the hyped vibes. I actually don't listen to 'Saturday Drip' all that much, but the NCT Dream rap line did a really good job with performing it!!!

I'm so sorry with how long this is LOL, but it feels like catching up with an old friend after a minute and I do just really like talking music with you hahaha. Are you going to any other concerts this year other than Ed Sheeran? Happy Tuesday 🤗

@twogyuu don't be sorry about the length of your post because mine is disgustingly long as well. like i'm actually deeply sorry for my word vomit:

Wow that’s a fantastic line from the song you shared as well! Love the sandcastle analogy. And omg the way I missed all the IU song refs…like Love Poem is my fave song from her 💀 (is it obvious i don’t speak korean??? lol 🤣). I love songs where you pick up on something new in the lyrics the more you listen to it! And at the ending when he shared he wrote it during covid like ahhhh I really felt that - It’s been so interesting to me as a music listener to hear works by artists that were made during covid/about covid…I just think it’s fascinating and like this little time capsule/archive of a very specific moment in time where we can see all the different emotions that came from that period and how they were expressed in so many different ways.

Also that is literally such a perfect way to differentiate between Namjoon and Yoongi’s lyrical styles - like you took the feelings right out of my brain and worded them perfectly. Yoongi has always been my favorite of the rap line for that reason. And then jhope is one of those rappers who’s like the vibey rapper if that makes sense??? It’s like his stuff always has this groovy flow to it that’s so distinctly him - I like to think it’s because he’s a dancer too but idk lol.

And girl lol we both need help bc idk what Pt. 2 is referring to either 😭 i’m not one of the kpop lore people, even for the groups I really follow, so I’m always in the comments section learning new things too lol. Heck I barely understand why Set Me Free is a Pt. 2😅 ik bts likes referencing their old music a lot in song titles so I’m just blindly used to that now and don’t question it lol (fellow armys help us with the receipts pls bc I’m useless for this sort of thing lol)

Wow just checked out Trigger the Fever - never heard it since it looks like it was on the very first mini album before I really followed them but omg I love it - it's right up my alley and I love the optimistic vibes and the harmonies they hit are just really pretty to me. Saved on Spotify hehe. idk when they performed it but it sounds like it would be perfect towards the end of the concert when they wanna make the fans all emotional and crap as they start to say goodbye 🥺

Saturday drip is such a great concert choice, I bet the crowd went wild. The super hype songs are always my fav during a concert bc everyone goes crazy and shouts out the iconic parts and it's such a good time!!!

Golden hour wasn’t my vibe BUT i did really like the concept and the mv for some reason. Like it was one of those songs where the mv actually made me vibe with the song more than i would have if i just heard it with no visual. That’s actually one of the things i really love abt kpop in particular - the way they build whole concepts and visual narratives around songs and seeing how it all comes together in the mv…it has definitely opened my ears a lot more if that makes sense and there are so many kpop songs that upon a second listen or bc of something in the mv/choreo/etc. i have come to absolutely love. NCT especially always challenges tf outta me. For ref I am a Sticker enthusiast and I still get crap for that lol but what can I say??? NCT is experimental so i’m always surprised by the songs from them that I wind up liking, and golden hour was memorable if nothing else lol

dont feel bad about reaching out to gush about music!!! normally i don't have any other way to let out my feelings besides watching reaction vids or reading social media comments on my own during comebacks so it's great to have someone to chat with stuff about directly! I really wish I could have seen NCT Dream but the date for my closest city just wasn't the best and I already saw NCT 127 a few months ago with their The Link tour. I was like - I saw Mark recently I don't need to see him again for awhile (LIES) 😭 but Haechan was sick at the time so I didn't get to see him then and I really like him and Renjun ahhh!!! Next time!

You asked about other concerts and BRUH. I can't feel too bad abt missing Dream bc I'm still seeing/have seen so much! Everyone's got that one thing they splurge on and for me it's concerts. Back in 2020, my very first concert was gonna be Map of the Soul with BTS and then…well we all know how that story went 😭😭😭I’m still incredibly sad that I never got to see them all together live before the military service so after that and 2 years of lockdown I was like I have to see as many of my fave acts as I can because you never know when this might be an artist’s last tour for whatever reason. Once i could afford it I started going to as many concerts as I could and haven't looked back. There’s just something about experiencing music live with the artists and other fans around you that just gives me a rush idk i love it!!! Besides Ed (saw ur post and you should totally see him if you can make it work money-wise btw hehe. his tickets are some of the most affordable i've EVER purchased in terms of comparable seats at other concerts <3) I'm also seeing TXT in may WHOOP! And then i managed to get beyonce tickets even though my wallet hated me for awhile after that one ngl. I’m seeing her this one time and that IS IT lol. I heard SM said baekhyun and wayv are gonna have tours so if that’s true i’m gonna try getting tickets for those. I would love to see Ten perform live, he’s one of my faves in all of NCT, and then Baekhyun - I just REALLY need to hear his vocals live lol. Like he could just come out on stage, sing Bambi and then leave, and I’d feel like I’d gotten my money’s worth from that alone 🤣 Hoping to see The Boyz again on tour as well now that Eric is back and doing better but they haven’t announced anything rn. Saw them once but the seats were sooooo bad omg…gotta see them again with a better view because their performances and stage presence are phenomenalllll. I found out about them during Kingdom!

Unfortunately no yoongi for me bc the locations were more limited and I knew it would be a bloodbath lol. Also I still haven't recovered from taylor swift (i truly was one of those peeps in the queue for 8+ hours and still did not get tickets 😭😭😭). next time she tours (please please please let there be a next time istg) i've gotta go.

Not that you asked but since I'm on a roll and can’t shut up - I've seen some other groups in the last year and and hands down, without a doubt, the best for me was Ateez. They are my ult group besides BTS and cannot stress enough omg their stage presence is freaking insaneeeeee. Saw them two nights in a row and have literally no regrets. Best two nights of my life. Came back to my place with voice gone after that second night, ate a post concert meal and passed out in my bed. Was on a high for like a week after and I still miss them lol. Will always try and see them when they’re in my area.

Also recently saw SZA and that was a literal dream. she was amazing and i still have random concert flashbacks every few days.

#dee:asks

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616natsromanoff · 2 years ago

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michael eisner adding his two cents about the state of the walt disney company is fucking wild if i was bob chapek right now i would never show my face again

#missing frank wells a little extra today #frank wells #michael eisner #bob iger was the reason we had bob chapek in the first place but i have hope #defunctland #disneyland #disney world #wdw preference #wdwresort #walt disney world #bob chapek #bob iger #disney discourse #disney parks discourse #disney parks #can we just get dreamfinder back #make epcot weird again

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buckyhoney · 2 years ago

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𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: this idea came to me at like 2 am and im obsessed

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: dom!frank castle x sub!reader

𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬/𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤/𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 & 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐥𝐲 𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝! 𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭/𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬!

𝟏𝟖+ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18+ ONLY, language, unprotected sex, masturbation (f), use of sex toys (dildo), daddy kink, unedited, sorry for any missed typos

"What happened?" Frank frantically asks, pressing the phone to his cheek.

It was almost one-thirty am when your name popped up on his phone. It wasn't often that you called him this late and the last time you did, you had gotten lost walking home from a night out with your friends. Since then, he's kept his phone on with the volume high.

"Baby, what happened?" He sits up in bed, waiting for you on the other again.

"I'm safe, I promise... I just.." You trailed off, before taking a deep breath.

Frank was getting nervous, looking around for his keys and his clothes. Even if it wasn't anything important, he was going to head over to your place- not wanting to chance anything.

"I can't..." You felt ashamed having to call him this late for something so little, but you needed him.

"I can't... cum.." A sigh of relief that you weren't in any immediate danger came from Frank.

Your cheeks burned and your eyes welled with embarrassment. Frank's cock twitched at the shyness of your voice. This was the first time you've called him with something like this. Frank didn't mind you getting off on your own, but he would of course prefer being there with you.

Smiling to himself he asks, "Why can't you cum, sweetheart?"

He takes a seat on the edge of the bed, pulling at his sweatpants. You're lying back against pillows completely naked with your fingers between your thighs. Hearing his voice drop with the rasp had arousal leaking out of you.

Your heartbeat began to beat faster, "... My toys don't feel as good as you,"

You huff, looking over at the dildo lying next to you. Frank inhales sharply, running his hands through his hair. He can't even imagine how wound up you had to be to resort to your toys. The pink glass dildo, he had bought it for you for when he's away and you didn't usually use them- but tonight you just needed a release not even the dildo was helping.

The image of you sprawled out on the bed with your fingers rubbing your clit while you pumped yourself had Frank's cock stirring.

"Yeah?" He breathed, standing and grabbing his keys.

"Please, Frankie... I need you," Your voice was just above a whisper.

Frank bit back a moan, "I'll be right there, sweetheart,"

Placed your phone on the nightstand and continued to slowly pump yourself. You would get so close, but nothing seemed to get you to that last bit. You wished you knew why you were extra needy today and why it was extra hard to finish, but you just couldn't figure out why.

The closer Frank gets to your apartment door, the bigger his bulge grew. You only lived a few blocks away. In moments like this, you wish you lived together.

Frank digs in his pockets for his key. When he opens the front door, he can hear the frustrated whines and whimpers. Chuckling to himself, Franks kicks his shoes off and empties his pockets on the dining table by the door. Your bedroom door is shut, so Frank knocks gently before opening it, making sure not to startle you.

"I told you I was on my way," Frank's cock twitched again seeing you bare and spread wide on the bed.

Dropping the dildo, you jump up from the bed and practically run to him. Frank pulls you close, kissing the top of your head. You bite the inside of your cheek when you feel the bulge pressing against your skin. While he hugs you, Frank feels the tension in your shoulders.

"You're so tense, sweetheart, no wonder you can't cum." His hands run over your back, soothing the tension.

"C'mon." Pulling away from the hug, Frank gives you a soft kiss.

Motioning to the bed, you climb back on top of the comforter. Frank removes his hoodie and tosses it on the chair in the corner of the room.

"You have to relax, okay?" Frank slips between your legs, lying on his stomach and placing one of your legs over his shoulder.

He opens your pussy wide and sees your clit is swollen from all the attention. Running his thumb over the sensitive bud, you jerk your hips. Frank sees you pulsing around nothing, desperately begging to be filled. You watch him as he intently, inspects you- getting more frustrated that he's not doing anything.

"Frankie..." His palm runs up the top of your thigh, soothing your restlessness. Frank grabs the dildo and begins to tease you.

Knowing how impatient you are, it's safe to assume you didn't properly warm yourself up. Frank begins to drag the toy up between your folds, lazily circling your clit. Soon the soft noise start flowing and your body relaxes. It's so easy with Frank, he understands your body better than you do. The dildo glides down to your aching hole, slipping in only about two inches.

"Attagirl, look at that! How does that feel?" You nod, and your fingers find your nipples.

They begin to pinch and tug adding to the pleasure. Frank adds a few more inches, twisting and pumping you full. It feels better than when you tried, but it just still wasn't doing it.

You needed more, you needed Frank.

"It's still not enough..." He knew exactly what you were referring too, but he needed you to say it. Frank chuckles, kissing the inside of your thigh.

"Sweetheart, if you want my cock you need to use your words." Frank's still pumping you with the dildo.

You whine, "Daddy, I need your cock!"

With that, Frank smiles. He carefully pulls the dildo out, giving it to you to clean off. You take it and slip it past your lips. While you suck it clean, Frank removes the rest of his clothes.

When he's ready, he strokes himself a few times to get himself ready. Frank pulls your legs to the edge of the bed. Running the tip of his cock over your folds, you moan, finally getting what you need.

Frank slides inside you and you gasp. There is a relief that you hadn't had all night. It felt right and you lit up. Frank hovers over you and your legs wrap around him instantly. You claw at his lower back wanting him to get closer.

He chuckles, "There's my girl, just needed daddy's dick huh?" You're lost in it and your mind is fuzzy.

"C'mon now, use me- take what you need- fuck-" You're bucking your hips upward, signaling that you want more.

Frank takes the queue and picks up his pace.

"That's it, attagirl! Feels so much better doesn't it, sweetheart?" Without warning, your body seizes, you're gripping his body so tight and you clenching around him so tight.

You barely have time to process what's happening before you're hit with overwhelming pleasure.

"F-Fuck, y'so tight-" Frank holds steady while you inhale sharply.

The moans get caught in your throat while your orgasm hits you like a train. It's so hard that tears swell in your eyes and all you can manage to do is whine.

"M'sorry, daddy- I couldn't hold it- It was so strong-" You gulp back, embarrassment washes over you. You've never cum that hard before and you certainly never cum without asking his permission.

"Baby, baby- you did so well! Don't you dare say sorry," He kisses your forehead. All you do is nod and Frank kisses your forehead down to your lips. Frank just kisses you and runs his thumb over your cheek, calming your body down from the intense high.

1K notes · View notes

libraryofloveletters · 3 years ago

Text

Love’s Gonna Get You Killed

Chapter Five: Two Ships Passing In The Dark

Frank Castle x Fem!Reader

Series Summery: A life long crush on the boy next door leaves you with unrequited love and regret. You wish you could take back the things that happened, to have him be yours. When you reconnect, is it far too late to fix what’s said and done?

Warnings: talks of the death, death of siblings, cemeteries, alcohol and the consumption of, mentions of cuts and blood, reconciliation, few swear words, the tiniest of hinting towards a panic attack, little bit of flirting

Word Count: 4,767 words

Author’s Note: this is the softest out of all of the chapters I swear, but I really like it lmao // also I didn’t edit it that well so just go with it lmao

LGGYK taglist // series masterlist

----

The white flakes stuck to your jacket as you walked down the street towards the diner. It was cold and snowing but there was barely enough snow to even be classified as snow.

Somehow today made you miss him more than you thought was possible. The cold streets felt lifeless despite the hustling of the people throughout the city.

2 Years After Frank’s Passing - November

Brushing the snow off your coat, you step into the diner. It's empty other than an old man sitting at the counter nursing a cup of coffee. You walked down towards the back, sliding into your usual booth before you flipped through the menu as if you didn’t know it like the back of your hand.

“Hi there, I'm Joan. What can I get for yo- y/n! Darling, it's so nice to see you.”

You smiled at the woman, “you too, Joan. Haven’t aged a day, have you?”

“Nonsense.” she smiles, “what can I get you?”

You pause, as if you were thinking. “Blueberry pancakes and hot chocolate, with extra whipped cream.”

Joan leaves you at the table as she heads to the kitchen to place your order. You sit at the table, staring at the empty seat across from you. The same seat that once was Micheal’s and the same seat that belonged to Frank.

A coldness runs down your spine, as if someone had been watching you. Looking over your shoulder, the diner was still empty; you, Joan and the old man at the counter. There’s the feeling of lingering eyes, lingering but not in a scary way but it was like they were a familiar set, one you had felt before. You just couldn't place it.

You quietly eat your pancakes, Joan coming by to check on you every so often. “How’s Frank ?” Joan asks, stopping by the table.

“Dead.”

Joan stops pouring the coffee, the smile dropping from her face. “What?”

“He died 2 years ago.”

“Honey,” she pauses, “I- I'm so sorry. I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay.” you give her a tight lipped smile. “I’ll take the bill.” you reach into your purse for your wallet. “It’s been taken care of.” she says, picking up the empty plate.

Your brows furrow, looking up at the woman. “By who?”

“No need to bother your pretty little head.” She smiles at you, “go on, I'll see you another time.” she gives your shoulder a squeeze before walking off.

You sit there for a few moments, pondering on who it could have been that took care of your $10 bill but you couldn’t focus. The lingering feeling of someone staring at you wouldn't leave; it made your skin crawl.

You pulled your green coat over the dress you had on, scooting out of the booth before you head out. You noticed the way the streets were abnormally quiet and you stopped to smell the flowers - literally. You stopped in front of the flower stand, picking up two bunches of flowers; white roses and sunflowers. You paid the woman at the stand, cradling the flowers in your arms as you walked down the sideway.

There’s a few flurries falling by the time you reach where you were headed. You brush the snow off your shoulder, walking down the empty pathway towards the row by the big oak tree.

Crouching down, you set the bunch of roses by the headstone; beloved son, brother, friend and solider. You brushed the leaves off the top and wiped the snow off the front of it. “Miss you.” You whisper, getting back up.

The feeling of someone watching you appeared again, your blood running cold and goosebumps forming along your arms as you quickly walked down the pathway to the other row.

You stopped at the headstone, the big bold letters read his name; Frank Castle. Beloved Father, Son, Friend & Marine.

Setting down the sunflowers, you take a seat on the cold grass. Your heart sinks at the thought that Frank isn’t here with you anymore. The sadness was replaced by the guilt; you hadn't come home for Frank’s funeral despite Billy’s numerous calls and pleas to you. He had even offered to drive to Chicago and get you if that meant you’d be there.

It wasn't that you weren't able to come because you were; it was your own selfish reasons that you weren't there. Frank is- was, the love of your life and he’s dead. You refused to deal with that, you couldn’t bear to face that. If you faced it, if you went to the funeral, that would mean its official - Frank was dead.

Frank is dead.

The headstone in front of you was proof of that.

There’s a hand on your shoulder and your blood runs cold for what felt like the millionth time that day. You force yourself to turn, looking back to find Billy behind you. There’s a bottle of scotch in his hand which you notice when he sits beside you.

“I didn’t know you were home.” He says, looking over at you.

“Moved back a few months ago. Transferred to our offices here.” you hum, eyes focused on the headstone in front of you. Billy nods, cracking the seal on the bottle of scotch.

“Frankie’s favourite.” you note, watching as Billy pours some onto the dirt beside the stone. “I’ve been coming every year for his birthday.” Billy tells you, taking a swing of the brown liquor. He offers the bottle to you and you accept, mirroring his action.

Your face contorts at the taste; you were never one for scotch but you knew it was Frank’s favourite. You kept a bottle in your place even when you had lost contact with Frank on the off chance that he somehow ended up at your front door.

You still kept a bottle in your liquor cabinet up to this day.

Billy’s arm wraps around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. His hand rubs up and down your arm, watching as you take another painful sip of the liquor. “It feels so.. surreal.” he says quietly.

“He’s supposed to be here. They’re all supposed to be here.” you lean further into Billy’s side. “When I was in Chicago, I had this idea in my head; Frank and Maria were living happily ever after and the kids were all grown up, even you had settled down and got married.” you say, making Billy laugh.

“You and Frank would scare off the boys that came to pick up Lisa for a date or the 2 of you guys would have double dates with your wives - it was a fairytale ending for you two, despite all the pain and suffering I know you went through.”

Billy’s hand brushes away the tears you didn’t realize had fallen before cupping your cheek. “Some things just aren't meant to be, sweetheart.” Billy whispers, kissing your temple.

The two of you sit there, reminiscing on life for another hour or so before the snow starts to really come down. Billy offers to drive you home which you accept.

He pulls up in front of your brownstone, “not so bad for a lawyer.” he teases, making you roll your eyes. “Shut up Billy,” you laugh, giving his arm a little shove.

“Do you want a job?” he asks out of the blue. “I have a job.” Your head tilts as you look at your friend.

“No, with me. We’re looking for a lawyer to handle the negotiations and all of that legal bullshit. Of course I'll pay you generously.” he adds the last piece in with a smile, making you laugh. “Yeah? How much?” you ask through laughs.

Billy reaches into his pocket to pull out a pen and what looked like a business card. He scribbles something down on it, holds the card in half and then hands it over to you.

You roll your eyes, taking the card from him. You unfold the card while making a snarky comment about his actions, “you clearly watch too many movi- holy shit Billy,” you look up at the man. “Are you serious ?”

“You're the best at what you do, are you not?” he asks, arms folded across his chest.

“Of course I am, are you kidding ?” you chuckled, leaning back into the seat. You stare down at the 6 figure number on the back of the business card. “That would just be your starting salary, of course. It’ll increase over the years.”

You look over at Billy once more. “Are you seriously just providing security ? Because this seems like a drug dealer, potentially mafia, amounts of money to be paying a lawyer.”

“Yes, it’s just security that we’re providing.” he chuckles, shaking his head at your comment. “You’re one of my best friends and you are more than capable. I trust you with my life and I would trust you with my company in a heartbeat.” Billy smiles. “Take some time to think it over-”

“Think what over? I’m taking the job.” You smile, leaning over to hug Billy. His arms wrap around you, holding you close for a few moments. “How about dinner on Saturday ? We can catch up and talk about the job.”

“Sure, thanks for the ride.” you smile, kissing his cheek before getting out of the car. Billy wines down the window, watching until you step through the front door before driving off.

You shrug off your coat, hanging it by the door and kicking off your heels as you walk towards the kitchen. There’s the shadow of something on your counter, you flick the light switch to see a vase sitting in the middle of the counter.

Sunflowers; identical to the bunch you dropped at Frank’s grave hours ago.

You hesitate to move for a moment, breathing quickly as you glance around the kitchen. The backdoor was still locked and you unlocked the front door which meant no one came through it or so you thought.

Slowly, you make your way over to the flowers and pick up the vase before walking towards the trash.

The feeling of someone watching you is looming again, blood running cold and goosebumps growing along your skin. There’s a lingering smell of iron and wet dirt.

“It's nice to see that you still talk to Bill.” there's a voice from behind you and the vase falls from your hand, dropping to the floor and shattering.

You froze, looking down at the broken glass and scattered flowers. There’s no way you’re hearing right, you must have had one too many sips of scotch.

He isn’t here.

He’s dead.

The sound of boots thudding caused the pace of your heart to pick up. “Look at me.” the voice called out softly, not demanding but softly.

You take a breath before slowly turning in the direction of the voice.

Frank stood across from you.

Frank was standing in your kitchen, his boots covered in mud and his face littered in bruises and cuts, blood dripping down his cheek onto your white tile floors.

Frank Castle was alive and breathing in your fucking kitchen.

“You’re not really here.” you mumble to yourself. “You’re dead. You’re fucking dead, Frank.”

“I’m right here, doll.”

Frank takes a small step towards you and you instantly step back, partly out because you thought you were losing your mind and partly because you weren’t sure if you should be scared or hug him. You had forgotten about the broken glass until a piece got stuck to the bottom of your foot.

“Fuck!” you lifted your foot, going to take another step. “Don’t move.” Frank says, walking over to you. His arms wrap around your waist to pick you up and move you away from the broken glass.

He was touching you, holding you.

He was really here.

“Frank.” you whisper as he sets you down on the counter, he is kneeling on one his knees, his warm hand wrapped around your ankle to life your foot so he can inspect it.

“Y/n.” he hums, eyes glued to the cut on your foot. Your name sounds like heaven falling from his lips.

“You're really here.” you whisper again, scared that if you speak any louder that he might disappear. “Where’s your first aid kit?” he asks, eyes looking up to meet yours.

You study the man’s face; he looked older, like the time had finally started telling on him. He was still as handsome as he had been the day you met him all those years ago in the rain but something in him was broken.

You could tell just by the look on his face. He had seen more pain and blood and faced more loss than anyone should ever have to do.

Yet he was still the Frank you knew and loved, the man that could not be replaced no matter how many times you tried. No matter where you went or who you dated, you looked for him in them.

No one could replace him.

He will always be the love of your life.

“Doll,” Frank ran his hand up to your calf, rubbing up and down. “The first aid kit?” He asks again.

“Don’t have one.” you say, eyes still on him. Your hand reaches for his face, cupping his cheek before you let out a small sigh.

Frank stands, “how do you not have a first aid kit?” he grumbles, lifting your foot so he could see it better. You were so focused on him that you could care less that Frank would see up your dress right now with the way he had your leg lifted. “I’m gonna pull it out.” he says right as he grabs the chunk of glass.

“Ow, ow, ow, ow!” you wince, trying to pull your foot away. “I didn’t even pull it yet!” Frank presses his lips together, looking at you before looking back at your foot.

Frank says he’ll give you a second to gather yourself but as soon as he says that, he yanks the chunk of glass out of your foot and grabs the closest thing to him to wrap it.

“I really like that,” you mumble as Frank wraps the yellow hand towel around your foot. He grumbles something you don’t quite catch before he helps you off the counter. “Can you make it to the couch ?” he asks and you nod. Your hand clinging to his jacket with his arm around you as you two walk to the couch. Frank helps you sit, propping your foot up on the coffee table.

“How did you get into my house?” was the first question out of your mouth. It shouldn't have been but you were curious.

“Back door, you should really change that lock. I can do it for you, it’ll take-” “You’re supposed to be dead and you’re offering to change my locks?” you scoff.

Frank sits on the opposite end of the couch. “I’m just trying to be helpful.”

“You’re supposed to be dead. How the fuck are you here?” you ask the man, looking over at him.

“I’m not dead.” he states plainly, “I was never dead. They just assumed I was.”

“And you didn’t think to reach out? Do you know how horrible these last few years have been?”

“Horrible? Doll, you didn’t even come to my funeral.” he scoffed, shaking his head. “Says who?” you roll your eyes.

“Me.” Franks looks over at you. “I wanted to see who showed up- Billy and Curtis if you were curious.”

You pause, taking a moment to gather the thoughts racing through your head. “How did you know where to find me?”

“You think I wasn't keeping tabs on you? You’re my best friend, y/n. I needed to make sure you were okay.”

You can feel the tears brimming, you lean your head back and take a few deep breaths. “Why are you here, Frank? Why not go to Billy ? You two served together, I’m sure he’d be able to help you with whatever it is you want.”

“Billy doesn’t know I'm alive. I’d like to keep it that way. I’ve been debating for days if I should even come see you. I thought 2 years was enough torment, for you and me.” Franks admits quietly.

You nod, eyes still on the ceiling. You aren't sure what to say so you do what you do best; “you hungry ?”

“What ?” Frank asks, brows pulled together as he looks over at you.

“Let me make you a home cooked meal, I was gonna make your favourite.” you carefully get up, foot slightly lifted off the floor before gently putting it down and testing if you could put some weight on it.

“You were gonna make my mom’s pasta ?”

“It is your birthday, is it not?” you ask the man, walking towards the kitchen. Frank quickly follows you. “Always a sucker for tradition.”

“Only for you, Frankie.” you hum, reaching into the cupboard for the dry ingredients. Frank smiles at the nickname, no one’s called him Frankie in years. Only his mother, Billy and you call him that and after he got married and moved, the nickname barely existed. He hadn't had a solid home cooked meal since Maria passed, the thought of her still breaks his heart but he’s grateful for you.

No matter what happened, you were always the constant in his life. Whether it was coming over for you to patch him up after he got into a fight during your high school years or sneaking a call to you in the middle of the night while he was at training or just the endless summer nights the two of you spent in his backyard talking about life - you were always there.

You were who he could rely on, you were the number one most important person in his life.

It was you and him, always and forever.

“What are you doing in New York? You’d think for someone who’s supposedly hiding, you wouldn't be at the most obvious choice.” Frank shrugs at your words.

“I just need a place to stay for a few days if it ain’t too much trouble.” He looks over at you, your back is facing him.

Your hair is loose and sprawled over your back, the yellow dress clung to your body. He smiled to himself, noticing the embroidered sunflowers at the bottom of the dress. “I didn’t know you still had that.” Frank nods towards the dress when you glance over your shoulder to look at him.

You look down at the dress, smiling. “Yeah, one of my favourites.” you hum, “mine too.” Frank smiles.

He walks over to the sink, turning on the tap and washing his hands. “What can I help with?” he asks, shrugging his jacket off and tossing it over to the chair at the table.

“Veggies are in the fridge; bell peppers, onions and whatever else you want.” your attention is on the pot on the stove. Frank hums, walking to the fridge to gather the veggies.

The two of you move through the kitchen in comfortable silence, it didn’t take long for the two of you to fall back into your groove. It’s not like it had disappeared but it was on pause and now it’s back, better than ever.

Frank sets the knife down on the cutting board, watching as you try to grab something off the very top shelf of the cupboard. “Here,” he walks over to you, reaching up from behind you, a hand resting on your hip and pinning you between him and the counter.

He sets the bowl on the counter, his other hand now coming to mirror the other one and resting on your other hip. “I never got the chance to thank you for what you said about me.” he says quietly, his chin resting on your shoulder.

You feel his arms wrap around your waist, your back pressed to his chest as he leans against you. “Thank me? What did I do?”

“For what you said in court.” he answers, you hum. “No need to thank me, it was the truth.” your hand rests on top of his, a feeling of warmth returning. Something you hadn’t felt in a long time.

You turn, Frank’s hands now on your back. “Why’d you come here?” you ask him, your hands resting on his chest.

“I told you, I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“No, you said it was too much torment for you and me. What did you mean by that?”

Frank’s eyes met yours, he studied your face like his life depended on it. You were one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen, he thought so even when he would see you on your front porch back when he didn’t know you. Last he saw you, before everything went terribly wrong, you possessed a youthful beauty that he couldn't put into words.

You were still as beautiful as ever but there was something different about this; a mature version of the same looks you had always possessed.

The laugh lines around your eyes crinkled deeply when you smiled and laughed, your eyes sparkled in the light but as if you had seen more, gone elsewhere, lived the life he had always imagined for you.

You were like an angel on earth to him and he kept those memories locked away deep, somewhere that can’t be reached by anyone other than him.

You were the last good, beautiful thing he had left and he didn’t want to ruin it; he couldn’t ruin it.

“I had to see you.” he admits to you. Frank takes a deep breath, looking at you before continuing. “You are all I have left, y/n. You are the last good, unharmed, beautiful thing I have left in my life. I needed to see you.”

The tears are threatening to spill. After all these years, all the pain and loss and everything the two of you had been through, this is how you get Frank back? Because everything he had went horribly wrong? It felt wrong, for you and for him.

“Frank, I-” “No, it’s okay. Let’s just finish dinner, yeah?” Frank lets go of you, walking back over to the chopped veggies on the counter before adding them to the sauce that was simmering on the stove.

Dinner was quiet, you and Frank sat in comfortable silence. You filled him in on what Billy was up to and how he had offered you a job. Frank helped you tidy up and now left the lingering question; if he would be staying with you.

“Do you have a bag or something ? Your stuff?” you ask him, letting the last plate into the drying rack.

“Yeah, it's in your guest bedroom.” he smiles, you look over at him and laugh.

“Who says I'm letting you stay?” you walk down the hallway towards the staircase. Frank’s hands grab your waist, pulling you back to him with a thud as your back hits his chest and the two of you are in a fit of giggles and laughs.

“You gonna put me out, doll?” Frank whispers, his lips against your ear. “You wouldn’t do that, would you?” he asks you and you shake your head. “I wouldn’t.”

“That’s what I thought.” Frank hums, his hands on your hips as the two of you all up the stairs.

There were butterflies in your stomach, it was like you were fricking 15 again. Frank had always made you feel that way truthfully. “Bathroom’s down the hall.” you tell him, pressing your lips together to hold back a pout at the loss of touch when he moves his hands.

“I know.” he teases, walking towards the guest bedroom.

“I’ll be in my room if you need anything.” You say as you step into the room, Frank flashes you a smile on his way to the bathroom. You sit on your bed when you hear the bathroom door shut.

It takes a moment for reality to set in. You were a lawyer and last you checked, Frank still had charges pending that were pushed aside because he was presumed dead. You had a fugitive in your bathroom and you had been playing house with him all afternoon.

What's the worst that could happen?

You begin to spiral and you get up, trying to reach for the zipper on the back of your dress. It felt like the dress was suffocating you but you couldn't get the stupid zipper down.

It was stuck- fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

You walk towards the bathroom door, the water was running so Frank had started showering yet. You knocked on the door softly, “Frankie?” you called, waiting for a moment until he opened the door.

He stood in front of you, shirtless. You clear your throat, pressing your dry tongue to the top of your mouth in an attempt to wet it again. You let out a breath, eyes raking over his body before reaching his face. Frank had a smirk playing on his lips, “need something, doll?”

“Zipper’s stuck,” you turn, he gets the hint. Frank brushes your hair over your shoulder, a hand resting on your hip and the other tugging on the zipper. A forceful tug and the zipper was down.

Frank’s fingers barely graze the skin of your lower back when he slides his hand up. “There,” he says, turning you to face him with a hand on his side.

“Thanks. Do you mind if I just wash off my makeup? My stuff’s in here.” you look up at him, sometimes you forget how he towered over you.

“It’s your place baby, knock yourself out.” Frank turns his attention back to your shower, turning on the water and letting it run to warm up.

He leans on the counter, watching as you wipe the makeup off your face with a cotton pad before leaning down to splash some water on it. His eyes were on your bare back, imagining what it would be like to trail his finger along the curve of your spine.

It didn’t take long for you to finish your skin care, Frank’s eyes on you the whole time. You grab the towel hanging on the back of the door and dry off your face. “I’ll be in my room.” you tell him, stepping out and shutting the door.

15 minutes later, you’re changed and in bed. Billy had sent you a contract that you could look over prior to the dinner you two had in a few days so you could ask him whatever it is you needed to ask or change. There’s a knock on your bedroom door, “come in!” you call, eyes still on the laptop.

“Hey, just wanted to say goodnight.” Frank steps into the door, sweatpants hanging low on his waist as the lack of shirt continues. “You working?” he asks quietly, like he was disturbing you.

“No, no,” you patted the spot next to you. “Come join me, I'm just looking over something Billy sent me.” you’re typing away on the laptop when Frank flops down beside you.

“God, is the one in the other room this good?” he mumbles, sinking further into the mattress. You laughed, nodding your head. “It’s better cause no one sleeps on it.” you shut the laptop, setting it on the nightstand.

You scoot down, laying beside Frank. “We haven’t done this in years.” you mumbles, rolling onto your side to face him. He mirrors your actions, “since before I enlisted.”

The two of you lay there in silence and sooner than later, Frank dozes off. You smile to yourself, taking in his features in the moonlight. You roll over to the other side, eyes catching the frame on the nightstand. There’s a framed photo of you, Billy and Frank from his wedding day. Billy and Frank have you hoisted up on their shoulders, your hands on their shoulders.

You sigh, thinking about what Frank said in the kitchen. “Billy doesn’t know I'm alive. I’d like to keep it that way.” Why doesn’t he want Billy to know he’s alive? There has to be more to the story.

Frank rolls over, tossing his arm over your waist. The current thoughts disappear, relaxing into his touch.

The Billy/Frank issue is something for another day. Right now, you were focused on the man in your bed.

You couldn't lose him again.

------

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postalenha · 3 years ago

Text

on and off % jake

pairing: playboybf!jake x reader genre: angst, fluff, lovers to exes, exes to lovers idek word count: 1.89k words requested: yes / prompt 14, “we called it off again last night.” / 18, “it’s been you all along.” / 19, “for the first time, i had something to lose.” synopsis: immaturity isn't needed in a relationship, but that seems to be jake's and your's specialty. warnings: curse words, mentions of drinking, throwing up, su!cide, toxic relationship, making out

"i thought you're going with jake today?" sunghoon asked as you hop into his car.

you rolled your eyes at the thought of riding in the same vehicle as the boy, "no, we called it off again last night."

"again?!" the boy exclaimed, "y/n, that's probably the nth time you guys called it off." he sighed in disbelief, "that's not how relationships work." he commented.

judgingly looking at his way, "yeah? like you know any better?"

"shut up." he started the engine, "this isn't about my love life."

"whatever." you blurt out, "i guess being bad at handling relationship runs in our blood." you jokingly said, as your cousin laugh.

he tilt his head smiling, "damn, of all things that can be passed down, that's what we got."

"well, at least we got good looks. that works as a payoff." he added. you agreed at him with a nod, "anyway." you changed the subject.

"i'm planning on ending it with jake." you stated. he looked at you, "no shit, you sure?" he assured, "to be honest, whatever makes you happy." he added, looking like he wanted to say something but he decided not to.

"don't apologize." you led before he could even say sorry for insisting that you should date his best friend, sim jaeyun.

"i'm not- okay whatever." he almost want to deny the urge but he saw you looking at him with a teasing face, "i just feel a little responsible for all the stress this relationship have caused you." he scratch the back of his head, as you slap his arm.

"shut up, dating him was my decision. you don't have to blame yourself for all the bad decisions i made for myself. i'm an adult now." you told him.

parking his car he nod his head, "okay. just remember i'm here if things are bad, okay?"

"okay." you said, before going out of his car. walking at the corridor of your building, trying to see if jake arrived earlier than you today.

and he certainly did. there he is on his designated seat beside the window, silently watching as the wilted leaves fall down from the tree.

the clock ticks time faster than you expected and your professor came in, not able to call out for jake's name to even talk to him.

sitting down to a chair, you told yourself that you'll talk to him later. and here you are, in front of jake sim at the rooftop of your university's main building.

it might be your lucky day for no one else is here but the two of you. this place is usually cramped with so many people and miraculously today isn't one of those days.

this may be one of the many signs sent from above that this relationship should end as it wasn't right from the beginning.

your blood boils as your cousin sunghoon pushes you into the table of his friend group, "come on! you wouldn't lose anything! he just want to talk to you." he shouts.

"then tell him i don't want to!" you shout back a little annoyed. the last thing you want to do tonight is talk to the famous serial dater, jake sim. "for i know, he just wants the best out of me!"

"come on! jake's not like that!" he defended his friend. to be honest, sunghoon is the last person you should be ranting to. for he is just like his friend, they play with girl's hearts for fun.

you rolled your eyes as you reach the table of ego. the decision of naming that wasn't yours, but the other students. they called this the table of ego because everyone in here got some solid ego. heeseung, jay, sunghoon, jake. all of them.

"y/n! you actually came!" heeseung cheered as soon as he saw you, he scooted a little bit on his right to leave some space between him and jake, "come sit!"

sitting beside him was probably one of the decisions you will forever regret in your life. the memory of that night was a blur. you barely recall anything that happened then.

the only thing that you remember was when jake was reaching for a kiss, you accidentally threw up on him before passing out.

the next day, he told you to be his girlfriend to compensate with the mess you gave his brand new shirt. you said yes just so he could shut up, telling yourself you'll break up with him after a day or two.

two months then passed and you are just breaking everything now. well, it's better late than never. you just didn't expect that he would actually be a good boyfriend.

he's mostly good, not until everything gets complicated even with nothing. you fight over the smallest thing like, not being able to respond to each other's text to someone getting jealous.

it wasn't the best relationship you've been in but it was a good experience. you learned so much and now, it's time to move on.

"what is it that you wanted to say?" jake impatiently snapped you back into reality. you swallowed a good amount of saliva before saying, "let's break up."

it was better to say it forward than beating around the bush. with this, more time and energy will be saved. because even if you give him an explanation he probably won't listen.

he slowly blinked and sighed, looking away he said "okay. if that's what you want." see. he wouldn't even bother asking you why.

well, if you get things easy. they would also go easily, "okay. it was fun meeting you." you head out, leaving him there.

he most probably would not be so upset that he might think of jumping off the building, but you still prayed that he wont.

and he didn't. you can guarantee that as you see that three weeks later jake sim is with a woman walking the same isle as you are. the chances of you seeing him here at this huge mall was small, but never impossible.

you grabbed your friend's hand trying to hide from the sight of the man, "what are you doing-"

"shut up, jake is here." you told here looking at their way, walking into a clothing store. you hurriedly go and sit at a restaurant far from them and ordered food when your friend speak up.

"y/n, what's the point of hiding now when you guys already broke up?" she patheticly looked at you who's trying to hide from a menu list.

putting the menu list down on the table, you crossed your arms, "i am not hiding from him. i simply don't want to involve myself with anything that has to do with him."

"yeah, like seeing him in a shopping mall involves you with him." she said with full sarcasm. "you have no idea how pathetic that sounded."

not listening to anything she said, you started eating your pasta. almost choking when you saw a familliar figure walk in the restaurant.

trying your best to lean down and not get noticed you hear your friend call, "jake!" you kick her feet under the table as you see jake wave back and walks closer.

"what the fuck did you just do?" you whispered at her, she just smiles like an idiot as jake reach your table.

"hello, jia." he greeted your friend, "hi, y'n."

flashing a fake smile, you said "hi." satisfied with how annoyed you are, jia announced "you guys can join us! we got two extra seats here."

"we don't want to intrude-" you cut him off, "yes, there are a lot of vacant tables. they sure can find their own, right?"

serving a glass of wine, a waiter says "oh, we're fully booked, ma'am. so if you want to eat here, you have to wait for another hour or so." he said pouring some on your glass. "if you'll excuse me."

"it would be rude if we don't invite you right? so join!" your friend cheered as the girl jake's with sit next to you.

taking a sip of your wine whenever jake helps the girl cut her steak, you became unaware of how drunk you are. "so, when did you meet jake?" you asked the girl.

to be frank, she was quiet the whole time. just sitting there, not saying a thing but a "thanks." whenever jake helps her with anything.

"you can't answer that? well can you tell me if you are able to use your hands to their purpose? like cutting off a steak or puring your own glass of wine?"

"y/n-" your friend tried to stop you. but you didn't listen. you just continued to blabber nonsense until jake grabbed your wrist to the bathroom.

shaking your hand off his grip you screamed at him asking, "why did you bring me here?!"

"y/n why are you being so rude?" he calmly asked you.

you sarcastically laughed, "i'm being rude? who's more rude when you're out here eating at the same table as your ex-girlfriend and your current girlfriend?"

"current girlfriend- y/n that's my cousin!" he tried to calm himself by breathing slowly, pushing the side of his mouth using his tounge "do you really think i could replace you that fast?"

the sudden question made you feel like someone cut off your tounge. because you mostly have answer for everything but this. his question caught you off guard.

"when you broke up with me, i never asked why. i knew you were tired and i don't want to exhaust you more." you hear his voice shake as he speak. "i was also tired and we both needed a break."

you looked straight at his eyes that are sparkling from moist done by the tears that he have been trying so hard to hold back, "but as time pass by, i felt more and more empty. there is a big mark of you in my heart that ever since you left, no one has ever filled."

"nobody could ever fit in, but you." cupping your face he also wipe your tears away. "i never felt that way before. it's like, for the first time, i had something to lose."

"jake, i-" it was as if you forgot how to compose a word. you never knew he felt the same way you did when you broke up with him.

maybe sunghoon was more of your cousin than he is jake's friend. because if jake only knew how many times you told sunghoon that you miss him, he would've came back faster than this.

he smiled pulling you into a hug, "it's fine if you don't feel the same way anymore. i understand that. but i just want you to know that i am not the douchebag you think i am."

pulling away from the hug, you see his eyes were bloodshot "sorry, the last thing i want to do is make you cry-" you pulled him into a kiss not letting another word out of his mouth.

running out of breath, you seperated his lips from yours. you widely smiled at him, "it’s been you all along."

kissing outside a three star restaurant's restroom isn't as ideal as other comeback stories, but you wouldn't ask for anything else. as long as you have jake in your arms, your heart is content.

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