#misremembering the design and now it's mine)

[bluepallilworld]

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Have a bit of a better day then, with these hearts <3

Hugging you as well Bluestar!

awwwwwwwwwwww thanks sisty!!!

You know, since I dunno if you noticed but nowadays I often doodle my sona with two flowers on the hat instead of the one , it's because the second is for you <3

[godbirdart]

Hello! I hope you are having a nice start to your week :) I seem to remember you recommending a certain tablet once and tried looking for it but couldn’t find it. Is there still one you recommend for art? I’ve got an ipad now but I was thinking of trying something different when it reaches the end of its days (but still hopefully a draw-on one). I think I’ve heard some tablets let you actually download programs and not just apps. I would love to just 1-time buy clip studio or something instead of the app subscription Dx

No worries if you don’t have a recommendation, I may have just misremembered. Either way, I hope you have a lovely evening and thanks for sharing your art! ^_^

Oh I can talk tablets for Hours don't even worry

I have a tablet that can download programs and that is this one right here!

The Huion Kamvas Studio 22

It's been retired from Huion's store for a couple years now, succeeded by Huion's new Kamvas Studio 24; the new, sleeker edition of my 22.

If you're looking for a tablet that can download actual software and not just act as a second display for your computer, you'll be looking specifically for a "Pen Computer". Huion currently offers two - the Kamvas Studio 24 and the travel-sized Kamvas Studio 16. Both come with Windows 11 preinstalled.

Huion also released the Kamvas Slate 10, and while it is categorized as a pen computer, it's designed to compete with tablets like the iPad or PicassoTab and operates on Android 12.

While the idea of an independent computer you can draw on the screen of isn't at all novel, they're still arguably "new" for the companies whose target demographic is artists. At the time of this post, Huion appears to be Wacom's main and only competitor in that field. Artisul, Gaomon and XPpen do not manufacture them. Options for standalone drawing tablets that can download software [not just apps like a phone] are largely limited to:

Huion Kamvas Studio 16

Huion Kamvas Studio 22

Huion Kamvas Studio 24

Wacom MobileStudio Pro 13

Wacom MobileStudio Pro 16

I know I hype up Huion a lot and that's primarily because I have actual firsthand experience with their products, but I cannot stress enough that the Huion can do the job just as well as the Wacom. If you're hellbent on the Wacom, get it when it's on BIG sale, or cheaper secondhand / refurbished. Wacom's MobileStudio line can start at around ~$2600 USD and up, whereas the Huion Kamvas Studio, while still costly, can start from ~$1700 USD. I've seen Kamvas Studio 22s floating around for around $1000 USD which is already $500 off what I originally paid for mine.

Pen computers are one hell of an investment but they're extremely convenient to have. I'm currently saving up for a Kamvas Studio 16 as my travel laptop barely has the power to support Clip Studio and I want to be able to take my work on the go without fumbling around with cords.

To anyone else reading: if I somehow missed the release of a pen computer from another art tablet brand, feel free to drop it in the replies! I'm usually on top of these but I've been so swamped with work the past two months I've barely enough time to check my social media most days lmao

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

“I know some say they chose ugly hats because they were jealous. But I think they went over the top because it was the most important wedding of the century yet, so they thought they had to bring some extravagance. Also looking back, their outfits actually matched the time and they also were not the biggest fashion girlies.”

This is a profound misremembering, misunderstanding, lavk of knowledge of the fashion landscape around this time in the UK especially around hats. 

In the 00s, UK went hat/ fascinator crazy. Leading the chargecwas uber stulist Isabella Blow who saw no reason to dress for the day without adding a sculptural, architectural hat. Day and night.

Her hats were artworks created for her by Philip Tracey who she’d discovered and persuaded to work with her other protege Alexander McQueen. Between them, hats/ fascinators design in the UK became fun, irreverent, sculptural and not just for Ascot. Other hat designers followed suit though perhaps not to the same extreme degree as McQueen and Tracey or Stephen Jones. 

Some of Isabella’s hats:

Example 1 | Example 2 | Example 3 | Example 4 | Example 5 | Example 6

Sidenote: a friend of mine was an intern at the Sunday times style section at a time when they also employed Isabella and said it was amazing to see her waltz in wearing fairly normal clothing, but always with a fabulous, sculptural hat. 

Of the royal women, Beatrice and Sophie dove into this hat/ fascinator trend though they mainly stuck to much more classic takes on a trend. Of the two, Beatrice was the more adventurous and showed up at royal events and weddings in much more Isabella hats than Sophie eg

In 2008, for the wedding of a Gloucester daughter, Beatrice wore this hat (left) and went to Sandrigham wearing this hat (right).

Sophie in 2007 - 2010 era

You can see that even Kate’s hats in that 2006 - 2011 era were more sculptural and interesting than they are now. She, like Sophie, stuck to more classic than avant garde takes on the trend, but you can see still see it in the hats she wore then. 

By the royal wedding, Isabella Blow had been dead 3yrs, but her influence was still felt. Infact afew of the wedding guests at WK’s wedding were wearing sculptural hats eg

Victoria Beckham

Santa and Tara Palmer-Tomkinson  ➡️ Link One   |   Link Two

Isabella Branson ➡️ Link One   |    Link Two

All this to say that in the fashion world in the UK at this time, Beatrice’s hat wasn’t unusual or bizarre, and even the most restrained hat designers of the time had incorporated elements of sculputure in their designs for the UK market. 

However, the global public reaction to Beatrice’s homage to Isabella blow hat was so extreme that it scared the movement back to basics. Tracey put out a statement which showed his hurt at public reception it because he was creating his usual sculptural hat and was thrilled that hevwas doing it for a royal wedding. 

Sadly, the madhatter trend went back into the closet and without someone as fearless as Isabella and McQueen to push the envelope as far as fashion/ hats as artwork, we are jow experiencing boring hats, boring fashion and people more willing to buy ‘brands’ rather than fashion. 

I don’t think we’ll ever see this trend again.

But it’s also sad that her choice of hat led people to create the rumour that Beatrice deliberately wore an ‘ugly’ hat to WK’s wedding because of animosity and jealousy.

Beatrice (and all the royal ladies) hasn’t worn an interesting hat since then. Their ascot hats are equally safely boring nowdays. It would have bern interesting to see what they wore now, if they and Tracey/ Stephen Jones and all the sculptural hat designers of old had stuck to their guns and continued with it. 

*******************

Beatrice’s butterfly hat is actually from Peter and Autumn’s wedding, not a Gloucester cousin.

[woosh-floosh]

IDW Sonic issue 57 loose thoughts...

Lanolin finally gets to be a character, yippee!!

For those that don't know, Lanolin was first a background character designed by Adam Bryce Thomas for the second issue! Adam Bryce Thomas got attached to the design and fit her into more backgrounds, and later so did other artists! Seeing how Lanolin already had a character sheet long before her proper introduction, a name, and a general acceptance by the other artists (Evan Stanley drew her for one of her winter outfit sets one year) I wonder if her proper introduction got pushed back. I believe Sega asked some for some characters to have their introductions pushed back, but I can't think any evidence right now so I could be misremembering! Lanolin also got a bit of a redesign, now with a cool bell styled wispon to replace her cowbell, a curly tail, and a new magenta wisp friend named Maggie. Compare her old model sheet to the photo above!

Bonus trivia: Lanolin is a type wax sheep secrete that protects their wool. It's used by us in almost everything that uses wax, but mainly moisturizers!

Casual readers not investing in the background process may be surprised at just how often Lanolin shows up before this issue!

Lanolin as a character in this issue, kinda seems like a substitute for Sally Acorn. She's kind of a generic animal, has no real special skills or abilities (besides her cool bell wispon), but despite that has a rounded skill set (maybe a reference to many applications of lanolin wax?), and seems to excel at leading field work. Lanolin is to Sally Acorn as Surge is to Scourge. I know the writers are trying very hard to bring the freedom fighters back, but I'm not sure it's going to happen at this point. But I like the new characters and so far Surge has been proven to be very much more than just a Scourge clone.

I think I could see Lanolin and Jewel being co-directors like how Amy and Knuckles were in the resistance. Jewel does the paperwork, logistics, and humanitarian efforts and Lanolin leads the proactive, offensive, field efforts.

Okay enough about Lanolin, the other thing I wanted to talk about is the Eggperial city, which in this issue is revealed to be using the same tech as Eggman's vr tower in Test Run. I always though Test Run was one of the weaker arcs and felt like it had no real purpose or payoff (besides the Belle side stuff) but now it does! I'll have to revisit that arc now with a different perspective.

Also I don't know how I didn't pick up on this in Test Run but the portals Eggman is using is probably the warp topaz! Tails and him supercharged it during the Metal Virus and now it seems Eggman's found it and is supercharging it again (or maybe a convincing fake?) Having another magic rock might make the magic rock department a little bloated but I like the warp topaz, and not just because I am God's chosen Starline warrior. It will be neat to find out exactly how he is using it in the coming issues!

Adam Bryce Thomas and Matt Herms also did a wonderful job on the interior artwork as usually. I particularly like the page were Lanolin and Tangle descend into the mine, excellent paneling and excellent use of space!

My favorite cover this issue was cover A by Min Ho Kim, but unfortunately my local comic book store did not have it! Oh well! Until Next Month!!

[anzuhan]

HOW DID U COME UP WITH SUCH AN EPIC CHARACTER DESIGN FOR YOURSELF?!? LIEK!! YOU'RE THE PRETTIEST

probably comes with experience of designing characters for a. while now and ever since ive started drawing digitally and maybe even a bit before that, but for sona's i tend to just make them as related to me as possible which is EXACTLY WHY they change so much. I like a lot of types of j fashion (mainly yamikawaii, but anything from gyaru, to lolitas, decora, dark girly and others, and i do tend to dress in all as much as i can irl but for a vtuber model youd need just ONE DESIGN AND ITS HARD TO FIT ALL EUAGGH) + several design tropes i want to try and keep for myself from time to time are alice in wonderland, nurse, vampire (its the romanian pride) and well i cant just have ALL but they juggle in between each other quite often

for how i make designs WELL its hard to exactly say how i got to one, my current one's based on the one i had right before this (angel) but gothic instead (?) and make it a catgirl vampire (you can definitely tell theyre similar enough)

and angel's design is soooort of inspired by ALyCE's from dohna dohna (saying sort of cause theres also a design made by my friend @ pyokirio for her that also had alyce as a set ref when we talked ab it) (alyce's ref + angel's old ref with arts from pyo as well below) ((dont look into dd if you justh heard ab it in this post, its also a r18 game))

i also dont really have refs or anything for many sonas of mine, some i just go off and design the clothes myself, maybe theyre inspired by things i own irl, or some fit i saw once somewhere and totally misremember, but that makes it more unique guess ! i can make a whole post ab sonas i had thru the years that i put more life into if you really wanna see more designs from me given i dont exactly use ocs though i have over 200 of em 😭 but also thank you for the kind words !!

[journeytojaburo]

Origin #3 thoughts 👇

The family dynamics of the Zabis are always fascinating to witness. You could probably infer that line of thinking from just the show itself, but it's interesting to see Degwin talk about his loss of determination from Garma's death here.

I get to collect yet another instance of weather control being a thing on the Sides in this volume.

After all these months, I finally got to see this moment of Bright being like the only person in the present who talks about Zeon Zum Deikun's assassination that I thought I had just misremembered being in the movies...and then I rewatched the first movie where it wasn't present either, so I got really confused. But no, I had just picked this Origin bit some time in the past on accident. Sayla getting her own separate panel reacting to his outburst is some excellent foreshadowing as well.

As always, I appreciate that this manga gives some more depth to storylines that weren't as developed in the original show. I never really considered Char facing more consequences for allegedly killing Garma than just being sent off for an indeterminate amount of time.

I also appreciate the extra scenes between Ramba Ral and Hamon that are in this that showcase their relationship more as well.

On the other hand, sometimes plot points get cut out that I feel take away the depth of the story. I can understand why the Adzam and M'Quve mine attack were removed because Kycilia and M'Quve both have more separate and specific roles now, but I feel like Amuro still needed a reckless event with consequences like destroying that mine putting White Base in danger did (on top of meeting Ramba Ral). I shouldn't try to compare the storylines of the Origin and the original show/movies too closely though, since they're all separate things.

(Side note: I wonder who's job it is to clean the big front windows White Base considering they're probably covered in handprints from people doing this kind of thing all the time...)

Speaking of that Ramba Ral encounter, the scene where he finds Amuro's gun always felt a little creepy, but the Origin's take on it just made my skin crawl...

Sayla being accused of being a Zeon spy is an interesting new twist, though I'm a bit disappointed her commandeering the Gundam was removed from the story. Also, I thought that Cozun constantly sexually harassing Sayla when she secretly met with him for information was an unnecessary addition 👎

Usually, the new side character White Base officers slide right off my brain as soon as they leave the page, but I really like this lady's design.

I don't have much to say about the final battle with Ramba Ral and his squad because not much was different, but also it was just as exhilarating and thrilling as it always was.

Bonus Corner:

A benefit of this being a manga I didn't consider is that the characters can have alternate outfits more often...I thought the painting outfits everyone got were charming.

[hirazuki]

Hi Hira, how's things? Hope you're doing swell, really love the new cosplay look and had to write here too. The colors! Your eyes! The cold palette goes so well together, love your Elves and (ahem)Maiar interpretations. It feels to me they're so balanced & look so authentic! (disclaimer just woke up sorry for any possible misfires on the choice of words) Can't wait to see the Maeglin shoot too (unless I misremember it's sometime in future?)

PS: Big Thank You for the reblogs too, it all means so much! Take care!

Hiiiiiii!!

I'm doing okay, life's being life, but I'm taking a few days off of work so that's helping restore some energy for tumblring and doing creative stuff ^^

Alsdkjflsdkfjsdlkfj thank youuuu!! You are so sweet 😭 I'm so glad you like them!! Balanced and authentic??? I'm insanely flattered right now, you have no idea. After years of doing screen-accurate cosplays, it's been a lot of fun just playing with my own designs and throwing looks together! Maeglin shoot will probably happen in the spring -- I found a place that could pass for Gondolin, with a tower structure and large gardens, and I want the flowers and greenery to be in full bloom + bright sunshine for max contrast with our dark angsty elf XD (though if one of my cosplay acquaintances hosts an open shoot at an appropriate location, I might wear him for some mining-in-the-mountains photos).

You are SO WELCOME, I love seeing your art, no matter the fandom -- my dash just isn't the same place without it ♡

[underpassion]

Designs, Outdated and Not!

Apparently I never posted the pre existing designs here! Note that with one exceptions none of the following art is mine, this AU was given to me! ...And I uh, never got the name of the artist from the person who I got it from.:

Getting the not outdated designs outta the way first, here’s the Dapper Papyrus!

Papyrus is still himself just more suave and charming.

Toriel. Nothing to say here, just a cool design that’s staying as is! 

Rosie The Rose - Same case with Toriel. 

Now, onto the outdated stuff!

Sans - Oldest design

This design was very good! I just personally felt like with Papyrus having obvious Dia De Los Muertos inspiration, I wanted Sans to also have something around that ballpark.

Leading into, uh...

This.

Older design. That I actually drew...

So you can clear see why I’m not long using this LOL. I’m gonna make a final final draft that gets rid of the moustache (my biggest problem with this design tbh it goes a little too far I feel like) and making the clothes more colorful like Papyrus. Also doing something better with the shirt...remember the ribcage shirt from one of temmie’s drawings?

Anyhow...

Napstablook

I wanted the design to be more Napstablook-y. Or something like that.

Funny story about the newer design, I misremembered some stuff the previous owner told me...now they work at a coffee store that doubles as an antique shop!

Frisk

Same case for Napstablook. I liked the fit and the Ash Ketchum-type zigzags but didn’t look Frisk enough, y’know? So I didn’t really change the outfit. If you saw the other post, the colors are the same colors seen here.

Also drew this one. Just straight up non-canon. Underpassion design of Sans’s jojo-style stand from a mod for base Undertale. Will probably redraw this...

Expect more designs of fan characters like Red and Chrome (the bat guy from Underfell) whenever I feel like making those. I did make a Prunsel design...

[skylights2000]

Someone sent me an ask that I accidentally deleted. I’m really sorry if I misremembered the prompt you asked for!

If it’s wrong, resend your request, and I’ll gladly write it. Again, I’m so sorry! 💜

~

Fluff Prompt #56: “I’m not jealous! It’s just...You’re mine!”

~

Kazuichi had gotten better at managing his jealousy.

Now wasn’t a good example of that.

You would admit that it all started because of you. You were sitting on a stool in the workshop, working on your latest woodworking project. You’d built a wardrobe.

Your friend and partner for the assignment was crouched nearby, working on putting the prieces together while you worked on the wardrobe doors.

You were carving some beautiful but intricate designs into the surface. It was your fault for daydreaming while you were working.

Your hand slipped and you cut the back of your hand. You hissed at the pain, jerking back to keep from bleeding all over the wood.

You knocked over the stool by accident, alerting Manako to your distress. The second he saw the blood on your hands, he dropped everything, rushing to get the first aid kit from the back.

He returned with it and a clean rag which he wrapped around your hand while he searched the box. After a second, he pulled out some antiseptic wipes and a roll of bandages.

He disinfected the cut as best as he could, considering it was still bleeding. After that, he wrapped up your hand and dragged you over to the sink. Despite your protests that he really didn’t have to, he still helped you wash the blood from your hands and arms.

You dried off and passed him the towel so he could do the same. He took your hand, inspecting the bandage to make sure it would stay in place.

You heard the door open. “Hey-“

Oh boy, here we go.

You turned to Kazuichi, already prepared to explain, but all you saw was a mop of pink hair disappearing around the corner.

You turned to Manako. “I’m so sorry, but I’ve gotta go!”

He nodded in understanding and nudged you towards the door. “Go ahead. We can finish up tomorrow.” You nodded quickly and raced after Kazuichi.

You didn’t realize how late it had gotten until you stepped outside. The campus was empty, and the sun had almost set.

You caught up with Kazuichi, grabbing his arm to get him to stop. You were out of breath.

“How can you..run that fast?” You gasped through your heavy breathing.

He didn’t say anything, and he wouldn’t even look at you. You sighed and took his hand, holding out the bandaged one between you.

“Manako was just helping me because I cut my hand.”

Kazuichi took your hand carefully. “Oh god, are you okay?!”

You smiled teasingly. “Are you?” You watched his expression shift from confusion to embarrassment. “You don’t have to be jealous.”

“I’m not jealous! It’s just...You’re mine!”

Your smile shifted to a grin. “Exactly! I’m yours. You don’t have to worry so much.” You reassured.

“You could decide ya wanna be with someone else..”

You frowned at the way his shoulders dropped defeatedly. “You wanna know why I got hurt?”

“Why?” He mumbled.

“I was daydreaming, but you wanna know what I was thinking about?” You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and kissed him softly. “I was thinking about you.”

He stuttered incoherently for several seconds before he closed his mouth and looked away. “Wh-Why didn’t you just start with that?”

You covered your mouth when you snorted loudly, smiling when he started to laugh too.

“Can we go home now?” You asked happily.

“Where to?”

“My place? I can make dinner?” You suggested, taking his hand as you started walking.

[neondrawsthethings]

Uhm... Hey everyone lol. And welcome to my Danny Phantom & Flynn Fenton story.

I am alive, I’ve just been so busy with personal stuff and college. I mostly wanted to post this because I am an avid fan of Danny Phantom and I absolutely wanted to talk about the video Butch put out a few days ago with Danny having a “mysterious older brother.”

This has actually inspired me to write for the first time in a millennia and while I’m a bit late to the party and very nervous, I really wanted to make my own version of the story on top of expressing my opinions. So here we go!

--------------------

I don’t like Butch like most people in the Phandom but I just want to preface this by saying that I think that his idea for a mysterious older sibling for Danny isn't a bad one, but the execution of it was very poor. The issues I mostly have of it is that it messes up some consistencies with the show, it has plot holes and instead of making Jack and Maddie slightly incompetent with people's safety, it makes them out to be negligible criminals.

A Summary Of The Original Story:

The original story went that they had 3 kids, Flynn Fenton (who's age was not disclosed but he might have been about 10), Jazz Fenton who was 4 at the time and Danny who was 2. Jack and Maddie had created a uncompleted Ghost Portal that Flynn had turned on, wandered too close to when it somehow started working and was subsequently grabbed by a mysterious ghost from the other end. The portal suddenly stopped working afterwards. Jack and Maddie found out about this after reviewing security footage in the lab, which they coincidentally didn't have when Danny had turned into a ghost.

After the whole incident, they hid the fact that Jazz and Danny had an older brother for years and take their time getting the portal to work again so they could save their son. Years pass and Jazz suddenly has a dream about Flynn and eventually confronts their parents over what happened and they tell their kids everything.

As for Flynn, Butch goes off in a tangent about a ghost who was responsible for the uprising and rebellion against Pariah Dark. I forget her name, but it was edgy and she honestly looks like a cartoon concept design for Thor's sister in Ragnarok, but if she had a Spiderman appeal to her.

Anyway, once Pariah was sealed away in the Sarcophagus of Forever Sleep, she wanted to rule the ghost zone fairly and with justice. Or something. However chaos ensued now that the ghosts were free to do as they please without Pariah's wrath hanging over their heads. Over time, trying to keep balance in the Ghost Zone took a toll on “Thor’s sister” and she one day stumbled across and open portal and saw Flynn on the other side. She essentially kidnapped him and raised him to be her soldier for justice. Like the Winter Soldier.

The logic for this was that humans have ghost powers in the Ghost Zone. I mean, yeah they can fly and phase through things, but it was never actually mentioned whether or not humans had super strength in it. But go off Butch. Then he goes on to explain that in some reference to the Ant Man movie, over time Flynn just sort of gained powers as he became "one with the Ghost Zone" and became a powerful protector called "Exodus." Then Fartman went on to mention it was a reference for a machine in the Halloween episode.

So yeah, eventually Danny finds him and they've kind of got that dynamic of "I think you're the bad guy in this situation" when they aren't and duke it out until Danny eventually convinces this dude they're related. Oh yeah and Flynn had no memories of his human life.

Gonna be honest, I might have misremembered a few things but it’s honestly close enough.

--------------------

The issues I have with this concept are as follows:

⦁ Jack and Maddie have essentially been the direct cause for 3 people being harmed (and sorta killed) in some way by their Ghost Portal experiments. This doesn't even border on negligible at this point. It basically is, especially considering they should have learned not to let Danny near their experiments after losing their first son.

⦁ They come off as criminals considering they hid all traces and knowledge of Flynn from Danny, Jazz and most likely all family members and didn't even report his disappearance. They even had cameras in their lab and that honestly puts across the idea that they disabled them in case one of their other kids gets hurt.

⦁ There's already a ghost who considers himself to be the law of the Ghost Zone and it would appear that Butch forgot he created Walker for that exact purpose.

⦁ The female character who was responsible for putting away Pariah Dark honestly isn't well fleshed out. She can imprison the most powerful ghost in existence but is essentially useless at stopping lesser ghosts from causing chaos? Even if she did have help, how exactly was she capable of such a feat to begin with?

⦁ This messes with the cannon a bit considering there are some plot holes that can't really mix well with the established story.

I saw some of these concerns were also mentioned by the Phandom. Giving Butch the benefit of the doubt here, I don't hate the concept but I think it needs to be worked on more. I've read about what some people's opinions were and at least the ones that gave real critiques had some good ideas. Like maybe making the sibling either Jack's or Maddie's and it would have helped with their obsession of ghosts.

I have my own plot hole filled ideas with how this could maybe be told better. I'm not a storywriter and this might come off a little edgy, but man I love coming up with ideas. So here's mine:

-------------------- 

My Story:

After the incident with Vlad, Maddie and Jack decide that their ghost hunting days are over and resolve to live a normal family life. They have their first son Flynn, who had solidified their decision to quit ghost hunting and settle. After a few years, Jazz and Danny were eventually born and it seemed they had the perfect life.

One day while vacationing in a wooded area (location can change), Flynn had wandered not too far from the camp. Then a flash of light suddenly burst in front of him and he could see a whole other world. Jack and Maddie were alerted to the sound and ran towards where it came from. They gasped at what they saw and knew exactly what Flynn was staring into; a ghost portal. 

Before they could yell for him to stay away, a hand suddenly reached out and pulled Flynn in, the portal immediately closing as soon as he entered. Maddie and Jack were devastated. No one believed them when they explained what happened to their son, and this incident became the catalyst for them to start their ghost hunting careers again.

They worked tirelessly for years to get the portal to work again. Jazz had eventually chalked up their obsession to being a coping mechanism because they couldn't handle the guilt of losing Flynn and were in denial that he was gone. Danny was more of a social outcast than ever because people assumed his parents had something to do with Flynn's disappearance.

--------------------

Now with regards to why Flynn was pulled into the Ghost Zone, I would actually like to think Clockwork played a hand in it. I watched the Blood of Zeus recently and I kind of wanted to play around with an idea that inspired this next part.

--------------------

Clockwork knows that Dark Dan was never going to stay imprisoned forever. The fact that he still exists, even outside of time, was an omen he needed to heed. So maybe he meddled with a few future possibilities. Maybe he tried to get Maddie and Jack to realise Ghost Hunting was something they shouldn't mess with after hurting Vlad, which led to their decision to settle for a family. Maybe... He wanted Flynn to exist for a purpose.

He was the one who pulled Flynn into the Ghost Zone. Clockwork told Flynn that he would be the key to saving the future from Dark Dan, but withheld information on who he really was until he was old enough. He taught him everything he needed to know on how to defeat Dark Dan and trained him over the years in combat.

Going off the idea that Danny is kind of really average in comparison to the rest of his family, Flynn is a technological prodigy. He created weapons that Vlad could only dream of creating and can utilise technology that puts Tucker to shame. Once he was old enough, Clockwork finally revealed who Dark Dan was and how he came to be.

--------------------

As for the fighting portion of everything, I'm honestly not too sure how I could go about writing it. Obviously they team up to destroy Dan for good and Flynn gets reunited with everyone. He might actually prefer to stay in the Ghost Zone and be Clockwork's assistant. Idk.

This is as far as I can go with regards to the story and it was super fun to write. Hope you guys enjoyed reading it too!

[polka-spots]

I "love" explaining to people who don't have celiac disease just why eating gluten will fuck me up for weeks at a time.

1. Celiac disease is not gluten intolerance.

Gluten intolerance and celiac are very similar, however celiac causes visible damage to the intestines. Gluten intolerance causes the same symptoms, but with none of the visible damage.

2. Eating gluten causes damage

Ever heard of the vili in your intestines? They're little finger-like projections on the interior of your small intestine, designed to increase surface area and absorption. If you have celiac disease, eating gluten makes your immune system attack the small intestine and wear away the vili, causing a lot of damage.

3. Eating even the tiniest amount of gluten can mess you up for weeks

Because your ACTUAL INTESTINES get damaged, the symptoms of eating gluten can last for weeks. I generally have two to three days of nausea, intense abdominal pain, diarrhea and reflux, followed by two weeks of severe fatigue, exhaustion and messed up hunger and sleep cycles. I know people who go into anaphylaxis, and an aunt who says she gets spacey for a few weeks on top of all of that.

It's because our autoimmune system gets fucked up by the gluten, and we then have to deal with it getting back on track after nuking our intestines, plus our body trying to repair the damage done.

4. No, I cannot build a tolerance and no, I will not have a cheat day.

My body literally tries to tear apart my intestines if I eat gluten.

5. No, the gluten free diet isn't healthy.

A lot of gluten free foods contain 2 to 3 times the normal amount of sugar to make things taste like something other than cardboard or have heaps of preservatives and number-string ingredients to try make them resemble their normal counterparts.

6. No, I can't "pick around the croutons"

Cross contamination is a bitch. I have to use separate chopping boards, condiments, utensils and a whole different toaster to avoid getting gluten-containing crumbs in my food. All of my bread-spreads are separate and labeled as mine to avoid a mix up. I can't pick around things like croutons in my food because the crumbs will be spread all throughout and thus act like spiked tea and send me running for the bathroom.

7. Yes, eating gluten free is irritating

Thanks to fad dieters, a lot of places don't take celiac disease seriously. Lots of Karens claimed to have celiac without actually getting tested and made it hard for people with actual celiac to get taken seriously. It's a lot better now, but I used to have to explain to people at restaurants that this could seriously mess me up and just how and why. Now I usually just have to explain that I do have celiac disease for people to get that I'm not fad dieting or trying to be difficult.

Sorry for the rant. Just had a long day of people being idiots

Also I'm like half asleep so feel free to correct me if I misremembered anything

Small edit: the anaphylaxis is usually caused by a gluten allergy which is often linked to celiac.

Edit 2: I have since been informed that gluten intolerance and celiac are more similar than I had previously assumed and have since changed the celiac/gluten intolerance comparison.

[hankwritten]

Litany

Gen, 2k

Part of the DontNeedADiscord Pride Week, Day 1: Flag

“And what is the meaning of these?”

It was a good idea not to make Miss Helen pissy. She was the Boss around here, and not in the way Miss Pauling was the boss, but like the Boss with a capital B. I wasn’t exactly sure if she owned the building, or maybe the company, or maybe she was just our lawyer so we shouldn’t tee her off because of that, but the way Dell had explained it making her mad was a good way to have your desk packed by the end of the day.

So, I’d have to be very delicate about this. “They’re pins, Miss Helen,” I explained extremely politely. “It’s the first day of Pride Month; I thought everyone could do with a little company spirit!”

“Spirit?” The T on the end of the word popped like a firecracker. Miss Helen could make nice words like spirit or rainbows sound like she was actually saying dog doody. “And how exactly do these pins make you…prideful?”

“They’re fun!”

When she didn’t react, I at first assumed it was because she couldn’t hear me so well through my respirator, but then I considered what I knew about her and wondered maybe she simply didn’t know what fun was.

“Look,” I said, placing one in the palm of her hand. “It has a flag on it! I was thinking as people are coming in during the day, they can pick them out and wear them if they want to, just to show off a little color. See? This one is the bigender flag.”

She held it up and examined it like a jeweler inspecting a diamond. “And you find this…fun?

“Yeah!”

She waited, as though expecting the fun to start radiating out of the pin like a hand warmer. “…You certainly have quite a few of these.”

It was true. Along with the usual lollipops and stickers I kept at the front desk (the former being exclusively for clients and never-ever for sneaking myself one, no siree), the scattering of buttons took up a good chunk of counter space, with as many varieties as I could find. I didn’t want anyone to feel left out, so I’d just kept on printing until I had over three dozen.

“Very well,” Miss Helen said finally. “If it is good for company spirit.”

I clapped my hands in delight, glad the party wasn’t going to get shut down before it even started. So palpable was my relief, I didn’t even notice that Miss Helen hadn’t given the button back.

I didn’t have time to worry about it though, since just then Dr. Ludwig came in through the glass doors. He was normally the first one after me, as he always liked to get an early start down in the lab, and we’d developed a morning routine as fellow early birds.

“Dr. Ludwig!” I said, waving my hand, partly to get his attention and partly to show off the new gloves Dell had gotten me. The rubber ones had been so hard to type in, but these were nice and concealing as well as colorful. “Happy Pride Month! Do you want a pin?”

“Guten Morgen,” he greeted warmly. “Ah, buttons?” He picked up the closest one. “Pride buttons, I see.”

“Here you go!” I said, shoving a bi pin in his general direction since he’d shown interest.

But, to my surprise, he didn’t take it immediately. “Ehrm…” he said, staring down at the circle of metal.

“…Is this not the right one?” I withdrew my hand. Was I misremembering? “I’m so sorry, I guess I forgot…”

“No, no I did say that, didn’t I.” He ran a hand through his hair, sending its usual prim style haywire. “It is just…” He coughed lightly into his fist. “…Would you allow me to confide with you for a moment?”

Immediately, I pulled out the spare footstool I kept behind the counter, patting it as Dr. Ludwig came through the counter doors and took a seat. Our early morning chats were normally something to look forward to, shared over a donut or coffee he’d brought into the office, but today he just seemed run down. As he tucked his heels onto the stool’s crossbar, he rubbed his face.

“You know I am not as…up on all of this as some of your generation, ja?” he began.

“Millennials scare you,” I nodded, pulling my legs into my swivel chair.

“I wouldn’t go so far as to say that,” he huffed. “It is…well when we had our first conversations, and it was explained to me, it seemed to fit. At the time. Having to reconcile beginning a relationship with Mikhail when I still was not quite over Frida, nor really sure why things had fallen apart with us there.”

I remembered. “At the time? But not anymore?”

He sighed, ruffling his hair even more. “Now…now I am not so sure. Being with Mikhail is…quite different than any of the thirty years Frida and I spent together. I am starting to wonder if it was more just that I held extreme affection for her, and I was inexperienced enough that I was able to mistake it for attraction.” He chuckled humorlessly. “I thought I was so in love with her, and that’s why I never even looked at another woman. Töricht.”

“I don’t think that’s dumb,” I shook my head. “Everybody’s learning new things all the time. You can’t be expected to have everything sorted right after coming out.”

“Yes, I suppose,” he said. “But I still feel…guilty I think. Several of our coworkers are proudly attracted to both men and women, and I am aware that treating such a label as a ‘phase’ is a crude stereotype they have to deal with. I’d rather not have anyone think I was making a mockery of them.”

“It’s not a stereotype if that’s what’s really happening.” I patted him on the shoulder. “No one’s going to see it like that. If you think that’s where your journey is taking you, then there’s no shame coming out a second time.”

Dr. Ludwig responded to my words with a hopeful, if not entirely convinced, look behind his spectacles.

“Here,” I said, handing him both a bi and a gay pin. “You don’t have to wear either of them, this is just for fun after all! But if you change your mind…”

He looked at the two pins in his hand, then smiled tiredly up at me. “…Thank you mein friend. You are always helpful to talk to.”

“I try to be!”

After a few more assurances, the Doctor did eventually leave for the lab. Right on his coattails, Dell and Marcel came through the front door.

“Hey there, firebug,” Dell greeted. “What are you gettin’ up to here?”

I gave the quick rundown, pulling my shirt to highlight my own pin since I’d forgotten to show it off to my first two customers. “Pick any one you like!”

“Bear in mind I am saying this as a queer person,” Marcel said, sniffing down at the massive mound of multicolored circles, “this is all quite tacky.”

“Aw, learn how to have some fun, Spook,” Dell said, elbowing him in the side. To show him up, he claimed a pansexual pin for himself, and shot me a wink.

Marcel did nothing but sniff; but, when he thought no one was looking, I saw him discreetly sneak one of the pins off the counter as he left.

After that, the morning’s influx picked up too much to greet every person individually, but during lunch people saw fit to swing by and check things out again.

“Hi buddy!” Miss Pauling greeted. “I heard you were giving out Pride pins and wanted to see if- why are there so many lesbian ones?”

“Well!” I said, ecstatic to launch into an information dump. “The oldest of these is actually the ‘lipstick lesbian’ flag which, in absence of a more generic one, was used without the kiss mark in the corner. The one with the orange stripes wasn’t created until 2018, to be more inclusive all different lesbian groups.”

“Okay, but why does this one have an axe on it?”

“That’s the labrys!” I took the purple and black pin from her hand, pointing as I described, “the double bearded axe was used by the Amazons in Greek myth, and reappropriated in 1999 for its symbolism in female empowerment.”

“Wow,” she blinked down at the five different designs. “That’s really cool, except for the fact I have no idea how to use an axe.”

“I bet Tavish could teach you, he loves his Skullcutter.”

“…I’ll think about it. I’ll just take this one for now.” She picked up the orange five-stripe variation and pinned it to her purple shirt.

“Looks good!”

“Thanks!” she grinned. “And it was really nice of you to do this.”

“Honestly, the pleasure’s all mine. I just like seeing everyone happy.”

And everyone was! At least it sure seemed that way, even if it was kind of hard to tell with Mikhail. After lunch, he lumbered past my desk, picked out a gay pin, and put it on without so much as a smile. I took the muted grunt to be that of satisfaction

Tavish was next, dropping off half a roast beef sandwich since I’d forgotten to eat today, and instantly becoming my favorite person. While I was chowing down, he swiped two trans and two bi pins from my collection.

“Wadda you need two of each for?” I asked, quite a feat with my mouth full of roast beef and my respirator hanging halfway around my chin.

“Haven’t you heard?” Tavish asked with a raise of his eyebrow. “They just dropped a new identity: double bi. It’s twice as potent as regular bisexuality.”

I tilted my head, blinking perplexedly from behind my lenses.

“Ah, just a joke duck,” he assured. “The spares are for the husband.”

“Oh, right.” I swallowed down my mouthful. “I actually haven’t seen Jane at all today?”

“Ach, he came in earlier than you. Left at five this morning.”

“What? How?” I shook my head. “I’m the one who unlocks the doors.”

“Said he was tired of waiting for your ‘lazy, unpatriotic behind’ to start the day at seven. His words, not mine.” Tavish smiled apologetically. “He broke into one of the lab side doors.”

“…I bet Mikhail had something to say about that.”

He sighed. “That he did. They’ve been at it for hours. If there’s another office-wide prank war tomorrow, you’ll know why.”

Oh no. That’s how we lost our last two coffee makers, and our last seven office hamsters. Tavish assured me that it wouldn’t get out of hand, but by the time Mick showed up near the end of the day, my mood was somewhat dampened.

“Everything alroight, Campfire?” he asked me. “Ya look glum.”

“Just thinking about the impending damage to all those nice posters I put up in the breakroom,” I said sadly. “But! If you’ve come here to pick out a pin, that might cheer me up a bit.”

Mick chuckled in that cute little way of his, and already I was smiling. “Might have.”

We were close enough that I was ninety-five percent certain which one he wanted, but I’d learned my lesson with Dr. Ludwig and didn’t try to pick it out for him. Still, I let myself entertain a self-satisfied grin as he picked up the aroace flag.

“Hey uh,” I said. “If that’s the one you like, and uh…since I know you’re into archery…”

Carefully, I opened one of my drawers and extracted the special pin I’d made earlier, Mick watching me curiously all the while.

“Someone on the internet made this design,” I explained. “It’s for an aroace, arrow-ace!”

The flag was blacked out in several places to make a bow and arrow shape, and Mick grinned as he took it from my glove. “Clever.”

“Do you like it?” I asked hesitantly.

“Well, let’s see.” He pinned it to his vest. “Looks pretty good ta me.”

I couldn’t keep my stomach from doing a little flip at that. When Dell showed up, the last to leave the office for the day, he could tell I was smiling even through the mask.

“Everything go well, partner?” he chuckled. “You look pleased as punch.”

“Everything went great! Even Scout came by, although all he did was say ‘hey, free crap!’ and dumped a bunch of pins into his pocket.”

“I’m glad to hear the attempt at company spirit was a success,” a voice from behind Dell said, making us both jump. Miss Helen emerged from the shadows, her purple jacket an entire mass of pride pins, nearly one of every kind. When had she gotten all those? Had she been paying Marcel to sneak them out while I wasn’t looking? “A happy work environment is a productive work environment, as I always say. Well done, secretary.”

“Can’t remember you ever saying that, ma’am,” Dell admitted blandly.

“…Why do you have so many?” I asked.

“These are…fun…are they not?” she sniffed. “I am having…fun.”

Huh. Maybe this is just what she looked like when she was having a good time. I shrugged. “Glad you enjoyed yourself Miss Helen! Does that mean it’s okay to do it again next year?”

“…You have my permission.”

With that, she strutted out, and Dell shot me a grin. I scooped the remaining pins into my bag and closed up the front office, chatting with him on the way to the parking lot about how we could mix things up next year.

[unstoppableforcce]

golden

CHAPTER ONE: simplicity

pairing: Poe Dameron x oc! Anya

next part | masterlist | oc art

a/n: this is set before the Force Awakens and is a rewrite and expansion of one of my first fics. it’s a big one, this part is 6.7k which might be the longest thing i’ve ever written lol, but i love my oc and the relationships and the plot of this, i hope yall do too bc i can’t wait to write more!!! 

He had forgotten how beautiful the galaxy could be. 

Before him, through the clear windshield of the dilapidated transport ship, laid an expanse of towering mountains of green, thick like the jungles of Yavin IV he knew so well, and vast like the breath of the galaxy he was only beginning to familiarize himself with. In the valleys that sat between the intimidating heights of the jungle were ponds and lakes, illuminated by the contrast of their soft pink hue and the sunlight from three suns beating down on them overhead. And within each jaw-dropping landscape they flew over, the lanky jungle trees stretched high and interwoven with each other and the depths of the gentle pink lakes, he caught glimpses of the hidden civilization. 

Stone buildings of dark brown granite hidden beneath the twisted green vines and thick, overgrown tree trunks, windows of reflective glass cascading like waterfalls built back into the shape of the mountains. From as high as they were, flying above in the shaky transport ship, he could make out the movement of the people through the trees and on wooden crescent boats out in the milky pink water of the lake, working as the suns bore down on their backs. 

Flying in his X-wing, he had mission objectives and responsibilities. He travelled from point A to point B and never lingered in one place for longer than he needed to, not with the First Order patrols cracking down across the galaxy. He couldn’t remember the last time he had travelled so slow, the last time he got to truly see the colors of the universe around him which normally passed in hyperspeed blurs. 

He had forgotten how beautiful the galaxy could be. 

“Wow…” the awe fell from his lips unconsciously as his eyes stayed wide, scanning the horizon not only out of necessity given their flight path, but because he couldn’t look anywhere else. The D’Qar jungle was said to be beautiful, as beautiful as this, but for the past months he had been tasked with growing their new base there, he saw the inside of buildings and the burn of haunting fluorescent lights more than he did the real greenery and sunlight. 

It was… breathtaking to say the least. 

“I thought I misremembered,” the calm and collected voice of the General sounded off over his shoulder as he slowed his speed to navigate a lofty bit of cloud cover that surrounded the tops of the mountainous valleys he navigated between. “I convinced myself somehow that no place in the galaxy could be as beautiful as I remembered but I was wrong.”

He couldn’t blame her. If he wasn’t seeing it with his own eyes as his hands gripped tight to the controls of the ship, he wasn’t sure he would have believed it either. 

Waterfalls of the lightest pink hue, the sparkling of the natural granite deposits in the rock which shined equally as bright as the city construction as they continued over it, the polished rock made into skyscrapers which rivaled the surrounding mountains in height, the natural overgrowth of green vines and thick canopy tree tops… the more he saw, the more Poe found himself overwhelmed by the beauty. 

“How far until the palace?” He hummed with a brief quirk of his jaw back over his shoulder to Leia as his eyes stayed trained on the intricate habitational design and fields woven between towering structures which shadowed over smaller homes which led to more fields and rivers, rocks and jungle. 

“Not far, it’s impossible to miss.”

It hadn’t made sense at that moment, but he refrained from asking her to expand, trusting that whatever she meant would be clear to him as they kept going. Within the following minute, his trust proved itself. 

The nose of the ship lifted slightly to get them over a particularly tall mountain top, and as the clouds cleared away while he nosed back into the valley below, he found the most gorgeous architectural and natural displays he had ever laid his eyes on. Built, like the hidden structures he had seen earlier, into the most commanding mountain of sparkling brown granite in the landscape before him, the palace was a delicate, yet proud masterpiece with spires as high as the clouds and a bustling marketplace pouring out the front of it, spilling towards the shore of the pink ocean before it. 

Banners of colors brighter than he even knew existed fluttered in the wind coming in off the coast throughout the marketplace, and as he brought the ship in to a stop at the surrounding rim of the mountain above the palace’s top spires where all the other ships sat, he began to notice the vibrant crowd which flowed from the boats in the water all the way through the palace gates. He loved his home with all his heart, but this was the most beautiful place in the galaxy. It had to be. 

He and Leia quickly unloaded from the non-descript ship, and Poe made sure to leave his blaster secure in the cockpit as Leia had instructed him earlier, taking only his jacket and communicator with him. A jacket he quickly realized he would not be needing as the two of them stepped out amongst the ships atop the mountain and felt the overwhelming heat from the suns above them. 

“Don’t be too in awe, we are here for a reason.” He glanced back from where he stood near the edge of the flattened mountain top to see Leia stood as regal as ever with her hands linked behind her back and her stare that of a careful mother. “An important reason,” she minded once more and he had no choice but to nod. 

As he reluctantly pulled away from teh edge and joined her at her side while they drew closer to the nearby lift and the mindlessly chatting guards stood around it, he couldn’t help but voice the one thought he couldn’t get out of his mind,“I can’t imagine a place like this ever allying with the First Order.” 

With a voice lowered closer to that of a whisper while they passed the guards, Leia carefully minded him again, “There is a complicated history to Haiki, as beautiful as it is.”

“All the briefing memo said was that they were great allies during the war, pacifists, but great allies.” He responded in an equally hushed tone until the doors to their lift shut and they began descending deep into the dark, sparkling rock. “You said their leader was a friend.”

“Their King and Queen were friends of mine while I was still living on Alderaan and fighting with the rebellion, unfortunately the queen died shortly after the Empire fell and their king has been sick for almost as long.” She explained as the thick walls of granite passed quickly by them as they continued to descend. 

“Who are we here to meet with then?”

The lift came to a stop at the bottom and the doors opened to a dense crowd of people, all dressed in vibrant colors of thick woven fabric, skin decorated with thick strokes of black ink in intricate designs that varied from body to body. But as much as Poe wished to step forward and immerse himself into the lively crowd of the market, Leia’s firm grip on the elbow of his jacket pulled him in the opposite direction, towards an open doorway outlined by beautiful branches and bright flowers as her words quickly pulled him back to the reality of their mission there. 

“We’re meeting with the Princess,” Leia answered as they continued down the hall illuminated by windows which brought cascades of bright light into the halls as they travelled in a direction which seemed to Poe as if it were going deeper into the rock of the mountain. “I’ve met her before, but she was young, now she runs the whole planet and, from what I can tell, is not as eager about our alliance as her parents were.”

“You think she’s fielding threats from the First Order? You said they were pacifists--”

“It’s not about weapons or defense, it’s about supplies.” Leia sighed as the two of them came to a halt in the middle of the hallway, allowing the few locals who were walking behind them to pass in front and leave them alone with the bright sunlight. “We need their support, the medicine they create, the food they grow… If we don’t get it, I don’t know how much longer we can survive.”

Poe nodded, his overgrown curls bouncing with the nod of his head as he glanced around the empty hall and began pulling his jacket off his already sweat-slicked back. 

He knew they were there for support, but the briefing memo had been vague on purpose. No one else could know they were there, no one could know why they were there. If there was a leak, if the First Order somehow found out that the Resistance was reliant on Hakian support to survive, they’d decimate the entire planet, strip mine them for their resources and slaughter their peaceful population. 

He trusted their people, and he knew Leia did too, but he also understood why he had to be kept in the dark until now. This was just too important. 

“When we get in to see her, you’ll call her only ‘princess’ or ‘dekka’, never by her first name unless she gives you permission. And make sure you keep your distance, be respectful,” Leia warned as they slowly began walking again, turning a corner and entering another well-lit hall still travelling deeper into the mountain it seemed. “They are sticklers for tradition here and we can’t afford to play around.”

“What does ‘dekka’ mean?” 

“Respected one.” She answered quickly, keeping her voice close to him as another person came into view at the end of the hall. 

The man towered just like the mountains they flew through did, taller than any human man Poe had seen in person, nearly wookie height if he was being honest. But there was nothing intimidating about him, he merely flashed a bright smile and opened his arms in a welcoming stance. 

“Princess Leia, it is an honor to see you again.” The man bellowed out, meeting them at the end of the hall where it let out into a gorgeous room of tall ceilings and windows that stretched from the polished granite floor all the way up to the tallest rafters of twisted vine and tree root, letting in an electric amount of natural light. 

Leia quickly unlinked her hands from behind her back and wrapped them around the man, who stood at nearly twice her height, in a solid embrace. “Elias, it’s an honor to see you as well.”

“I had no idea you were coming, whatever can I help you with?” His thick accent continued to cut through the air, louder than Leia could muster by several dozen decibels. His command over the basic language wasn’t too strong, but he certainly made up for his shortcomings with heart and confidence.

However, no amount of strength of heart could overwrite the confusion outlined by his words, leaving an unsettling feeling in Poe’s gut. Judging by the slight deflation in Leia’s commanding stance, it was clear he wasn’t the only one. 

“No idea…” Leia chuckled nervously, trailing off with a brief shake of her braids. “We were meant to meet with Dekka Anya-Va, is she not here?”

Elias’ chuckle was equally as unsettled, something was wrong. 

“She hasn’t been in all day,” he added as another rough chuckle escaped his lips, “I didn’t know she had schedule, she didn’t tell me…”

Seven hours. That’s how far away Haiki was from D’Qar when travelling as fast as possible in the only non-resistance ship available, an old, deteriorating transport ship. He spent seven hours behind the controls on a trembling, shaking ship, and the Princess they were supposed to be meeting with to secure necessary supplies for the resistance was not there? Was this some kind of joke?

If it was, he didn’t find it very funny. 

Leia glanced back over her shoulder, finding the waiting confusion that covered Poe’s face and turned back to Elias wearing a very similar look. “She hasn’t been in at all?”

“She’s been… cutting me off, isolating herself from her advisors… I don’t know…” He stuttered over each and every word, clearly pulling them from a particularly painful place in his chest. 

And on any other day, Poe might have cared about the way the towering man’s intimidating voice trembled in his explanation. The overwhelmingly empathetic heart that beat steadily in his chest was accustomed to feeling for anyone from anywhere across the galaxy, but in this moment, the weight of the resistance was too apparent on his shoulders. 

If Leia said they needed this Princess to save the resistance, then that was that. They needed this Princess, and hearing that she was circumventing her advisors as much as she was avoiding their meeting only increased the nerves in his unsettled stomach. 

“You are welcome to wait for her in the throne room, I will send her your way whenever I find her…” Elias made a desperate attempt to relight the smile that had fallen from Leia’s diplomatic lips, but it only succeeded somewhat, as much as Leia could muster, feeling the same weight that Poe felt sitting heavy on her shoulders. 

“Thank you, Elias.” Leia bowed her head, and Elias quickly did the same. 

But the second Leia turned away from him and began nudging Poe back in the direction they came from, her diplomatic disposition fell away, returning her harsh, commanding stare. 

“She’s avoiding us?” Poe was quick to question as their pace hastened back down the brightly illuminated halls leading back to the busy marketplace. 

Leia shook her head, keeping her voice low as the two of them walked, shoulder to shoulder. “Remember when you asked if I thought she was fielding First Order threats already? I think we just got our answer.”

“What do we do?”

As the two of them entered back out into the dense crowd of the marketplace, Leia gave a brief shrug, still tugging him along with her as she fought against the flow of tattooed people. “Now, we have to find her.”

“Do you know where to look?”

The stare Leia gave him was one he was all too familiar with. It was the same look he got when he asked questions about procedure he already knew the answer to, the same look he got when he asked questions he knew she wouldn’t answer. It was a look that meant one thing. The simplest answer, the easier answer, the obvious one that was punching him directly in the face, was the answer he should be looking for. 

And with Leia, when it came to asking if she knew anything, the answer was without a doubt, a resounding ‘yes’. 

Following the banners, each one a color more vibrant than the last, Leia continued to push him through the marketplace. As they exited the front gate of the palace, the market grew impossibly larger and the crowd more dense, every soul moving with a specific purpose, from stall to stall with shoulders carrying heavy bags and faces bright with electric smiles. 

Poe couldn’t remember the last time he saw so many smiles in such a densely packed region.

The sun was beating down hot on his back, slicking his curls to his forehead in a light coating of sweat, but everyone around him seemed oblivious to it, either too distracted by the spices piled high in the booths, wafting a plethora of new scents around the beautiful square, or the swaths of fabrics covered in intricate stitches and designs. Was this what life was like where the war didn’t touch? 

People could walk around, fully immersed in their own vibrant culture wearing smiles brighter than the multiple suns which hung above them, seemingly without a care in the world when it came to the slaughtering and genocide happening around the galaxy at the hands of the First Order? Did they even know? 

Did the parents who let their kids run around with tightly woven baskets piled high with spiky blue fruit even know about the children across the galaxy who were stolen from their families and conscripted as nameless troopers? Did the elderly who sat off to the side even know that just last week, a village of respected elders on Nantoo were mowed down indiscriminately by First Order officers looking to set up base on their sacred land? Did any of them even know about the war?

If he lived here, maybe he could understand it. Maybe… 

But Stars, was ignorance really bliss when millions were being slaughtered? 

“I knew she’d be here…” Leia sighed, pulling Poe’s attention back to her pursuit as the market began to thin out closer to the pink translucent shore packed with crescent shaped boats of dark wood unloading at the docks. He didn’t know where to let his stare fall however, the water immediately took his attention, but as Leia kept walking, he fought to both find her stare and follow it in the same direction. 

The shore wasn’t packed, but there were just enough bodies to keep him guessing even as he followed Leia’s focus. Where was she looking--

He found her.

Nothing had changed, he still didn’t know exactly where Leia’s stare was directed nor did he have any verbal confirmation that he was looking in the right direction, but he was sure of himself, overwhelmingly sure of himself as his stare landed on the detailed tattoos that covered the back of the lone woman sat on the damp shore, isolated from the crowd. 

The thin interwoven fabric of the maroon dress that cascaded down her form was exquisite in it’s intricately stitched details, but nothing compared to the thick, jet black ink stripes that crested over her back and arms, the extent of the skin he could see from the angle they were approaching with. Everyone he had seen so far on this planet had some form of similar markings, be it extensive designs sprawling up their arms or small delicate images drawn on their hands or necks, but none compared to what he saw on her skin. 

It was like the dark ink was woven around her, like a vine crawling it’s way up a tree. Or maybe more aptly, it was a web, drawn by a diligent insect or maybe even claw marks from a creature, thick where the wounds ran the deepest and thin at the start and ends of each mark. 

Haiku itself was one of the most beautiful planets in the galaxy, but the woman before him was more beautiful than even that. 

It took an elbow in the side from Leia to snap him back to reality. 

“Why don’t you let me do most of the talking, yeah?” She countered, a knowing quirk to her brow as she nudged him again with her elbow. 

He wanted to argue back but Leia had already begun walking ahead of him and the second he moved to catch up, a large guard stepped up to block their path. 

This man was tall, like Elias back in the palace was, but he didn’t wear his intimidating height the same way. He was much broader in the shoulders, much wider in his stance, effectively blocking any line of sight either Poe or Leia had towards the princess. Yet unlike Elias, there was no friendly greeting, no real acknowledgement at all besides his narrowed scowl down towards the two of them. 

For a planet of self-proclaimed pacifists, Poe wasn’t really feeling at peace. 

Not until the soft hum of her voice flowed in from the gentle lull of the shore. “It’s alright, Xia, let them through.”

The wall of a man quickly stepped aside on her orders, revealing the exhausted collapse of her shoulders while she began to pull herself back up to her feet. The languid pull of her muscles was obvious with the delicate cut of the maroon dress across her skin, which contrasted the blood color of the fabric with a dark brown glow, not unlike the sparkle of the magnificent granite mountains under the overhead suns. 

“Dekka Anya-Va…” Leia addressed carefully but was quickly cut off by the return of her coarse hum of a voice. 

“I was hoping by not being at the palace that you would get the impression I didn’t want to meet with you,” her accent was thick, much like Elias’s but her comfort with the language was much more evident as it flowed much smoother from her lips despite the natural raspiness to her tone. It was a mesmerizing sound, complemented by the dulcet tone of the gentle waves, making it something he could easily get lost in if it wasn’t for his ability to still hear the words for what they were. 

Condescending. Nearly mocking if he was being honest. It just didn’t sit well with him, not when directed towards Leia. 

“We got the impression, we just ignored it,” Leia countered, pushing her careful tone to the side in favor of the tone she used when addressing her Commanders, a tone that commanded respect, even if the Princess seemed too aloof to provide it. 

She let out a rugged chuckle at that, jagged at the edges where it seemed to have fought through her throat and out from her perfectly shaped lips. “We…” she hummed, “I wasn’t aware you were bringing friends.”

The pointed tips of her words were sent like daggers with her stare as she turned from Leia to where Poe stood right beside her, hands linked behind his back and still holding his jacket in a tight grip. But as personal an assault it seemed, when he opened his lips to respond, Leia was quick to cut him off. 

“I--”

“This is my pilot, Commander Dameron.”

As unamused as the princess seemed to be, she still did a lot of stone-faced laughter, and that theme held true as her stare held on Poe’s furrowed and focused face. “Does the Commander have a first name?”

With a quick glance to Leia, then back to the Princess, he finally spoke for himself, answering “Poe,” simply. 

He didn’t know what he thought throwing his name into the conversation would add, but he couldn’t determine any reason why not to add it, not until the Princess turned her stare back to Leia and shuddered her shoulders back into a steady stance with her chin raised. “Would you mind telling Poe he can go wait by your ship, I don’t imagine it will be a long conversation.”

There it was again. Aloof, condescending, mocking even. Poe couldn’t stand it. 

“Excuse me--”

“Actually, Dekka Va, I brought him so he could join our talks,” Leia explained, one of her hands shooting up quickly to keep him in place by her side as she felt the heat of his temper rise with her words. 

“He doesn’t seem like he’d be much for conversation.”

He realized his natural disposition may not have been the most diplomatic, he also realized that hot-headed and cocky weren’t necessarily the best qualities for negotiating delicate alliances, but if she was allowed to talk to him with the tone she was taking, he was having a hard time understanding why Leia was keeping him silent. Why even bring him along?

It was infuriating. She was infuriating. She wouldn’t meet them in the palace, she was hiding on the beach, she was biting back with each and every one of her responses. He understood the alliance between her planet and the resistance was important, he really did, but why in the kriff was he even there--

“Dekka Anya-Va, I assure you, Poe is one of my most trusted Commanders and when our discussion eventually turns to shipment methods, he is the only one I trust for routes and numbers--” Leia began, still holding her hand out carefully in front of Poe only to drop it the second the Princess shrugged her shoulders and cut her off the same way she had been cutting Poe off. 

“There will be no shipment discussions.”

“Dekka--”

“I apologize for avoiding the meeting, but it wasn’t accidental, I truly have no interest in meeting with you, General.” She continued, using the brief second they stood silent and frozen in shock to navigate around them and back towards the market. 

Leia was the first to break out of it, Poe trailing behind, but he still remained quiet, holding back his boiling temper as the General continued to argue. 

“It’s a rather important conversation that we need to have.”

The princess continued forward as if she barely noticed them following, and as the density of the market's population began to increase the closer they moved to the palace, she made no move to slow her careful and practiced step through the crowd to accommodate their trailing. Again, condescending and aloof.

Leia broke his train of thought again as she fought with a quickened pace to find her way to her side and continue her argument just within range of Poe’s ears. “A face-to-face meeting will allow us to discuss our deal more intimately, take away any fears you may have and--”

If she cut Leia off one more time, it wouldn’t matter that she was the most respected being on this planet, Poe wasn’t going to be able to keep quiet for much longer. 

“I’m not afraid of anything, General.”

Before either Leia or Poe, with his temper steadily boiling over, could mount another argument, the princess pulled one of her guards aside, retrieving a small pouch of golden coins from him and turning back to the stall that had caught her eye in the first place. It was the stall they had passed earlier, filled with children and the spiky blue fruits which had caught his eye as he thought about the rest of the galaxy. 

And it was exactly where the princess was kneeling down. 

Her rough tone of voice, coated in it’s natural raspiness, flowed out much easier in her native tongue as she let a genuine smile take over her lips. The kids running the booth were bouncing out of their boots as she lowered herself to their level, and their excitement only grew as they began talking to one another in the Hakian language. It would have been heartwarming if Poe weren’t so frustrated. 

He didn’t understand what they were saying and it was clear as he glanced toward Leia and saw her focused brow that she didn’t understand the words being spoken either, but from the shared interactions, he had a pretty decent idea what was transpiring. 

She asked a question, the kids nervously responded, shaking their heads and trying to offer their product for free before she convinced them to accept her coin. Again, a heartwarming display that he didn’t have time for. 

The sun was hot, boiling hot down the back of his neck, and the anger bubbling from within his chest was heating him up from the inside out, making the whole experience ten times worse. He didn’t need to see any heartwarming display, he needed to say something, and he was becoming increasingly overwhelmed with the feeling that when he did, things wouldn’t go well. 

Yet the moment seemed to be drawing closer and closer as the Princess stood back to full height with a bag full of the spiky fruit, passing her coins back to her guard. He was ready to open his mouth, to unload on her with the same hot-headed cockiness that Leia feared he would lead with, but he was again denied the chance as she silenced him by turning her back to the two of them and reentering the crowd, heading back towards the palace. 

It wasn’t until they were down an isolated hallway of the palace that she turned back, opening the bag of fruit and pulling three of the spiked fruit out easily. 

“Dekka--” Leia tried, but the princess silenced her, sticking one of the fruits into her hand before carelessly tossing one in Poe’s direction. 

She was making a point, and they had no choice but to stand there and take it. 

“This is Mewe, one of our planet’s sweetest fruits,” she hummed, holding up one of her own and turning it gently for them to admire even if all Poe could manage was a subtle roll of his eyes. “They cannot grow anywhere else, they require massive amounts of sunlight, and they are one of the most versatile fruits that exist anywhere in the galaxy, edible on their own, full of health, easily fermented, their juice can soothe sore throats and upset stomachs...”

Puncturing the tough, spiky skin with one of her nails, the vibrant teal juices began to drain quickly out of the shell, too quick for even her quick mouth to catch as she brought the fruit to her lips. The following bite she took was effortless following her brief struggle with the dripping juices, and as much as Poe hated whatever point she was trying to make with this display, as Leia followed her lead and took a bite, he had no choice but to do the same. 

And as desperate as he was to stay boiling with anger when he looked at her, even with teal juices dripping down around the corner of her mouth, his mind was flooded with a delicious distraction the second his tongue touched the inner meat of the vibrant fruit. It wasn’t enough for Haiki to be the most beautiful planet in the galaxy, nor was it enough for her to be the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in person, they also needed to have the most overwhelming natural fruits. 

Each hesitant chew he took sparked flavors across his tongue, wild, exotic, unlike anything he had ever tasted before. It wasn’t just that his diet had consisted of bland ration packs for the past few years, the taste was truly sweeter and more complex than anything he had ever had on his tongue. 

As much as he hated giving her the satisfaction, while he looked up from the greenish inside of the skin to find her careful stare, he could see that he was doing little to hide his overwhelming satisfaction with the flavor given her increasingly smug smirk. 

“Haiki is a special place, I don’t think you realize that.” The Princess continued carefully, shifting her stare back to Leia directly. 

“We do, Dekka, however--”

“I don’t think you do.” She was quick to counter. “You would have me pledge my sponsorship to your futile movement and sacrifice my planet and the millions of souls who live here to the wrath of the First Order with nothing to offer me in return. You must think my planet worthless.”

Leia shook her head, taking a brief second to swallow the rest of the fruit she held in her mouth and regain her composure in order to fight back, “We can offer your planet protection from the First Order--”

“Because that worked so well for Alderaan, Raysho, Cardota and Courtsilius?” Again, the princess, without hesitation, cut her off. And this time, Poe was done holding his tongue, the heat finally sending his anger boiling over. 

“And pledging your allegiance to a sociopathic regime of murderers is preferable?”

It was exactly what Leia had feared. It was the exact reason she had tried so hard to keep him quiet. Not because she feared he would shoot and miss, but because of his tone. 

Each word drenched in a level of disrespect he hadn’t earned with her, stepping over a line he didn’t even realize, but one Leia couldn’t help him back from, even as she reached up to grab hold of him to prevent his anger from carrying him closer to the Princess and making things worse. 

“I’ll do whatever it takes to protect my planet.” She held her stance even as Poe stepped up, making no move but the slight uptick of her chin as he got closer. “As a peaceful planet, we have no options to arm ourselves outside of diplomacy and the First Order is being far more convincing.”

“Whatever they’ve said is lies, you can’t seriously consider trusting them.” He spoke like a man with no knowledge of his actions, entirely oblivious to the way her guard tightened their stances the closer he got, too blinded by his anger as she continued to argue back against him. 

“Because the resistance has never lied to us? Because you can be trusted implicitly on your word?”

With another step forward, eliminating any space between the two of them, Poe effectively cut Leia and her futile attempts to get him to back down out of the conversation. “What have they promised you? Safety? Isolation from the war? It’s only a matter of time before they are enslaving your people and stealing your resources--”

“They’ve promised me protection and have been nothing but cordial, unlike you and your failing resistance.” She scoffed, shaking her small bun of greying hair enough to let loose a few strands as she refused to back down. “So you’d do best to mind yourself before you overstep a boundary you can’t walk back from.”

There was a sense of finality to her tone as she ended her sentence, one Leia picked up on immediately, but even as she moved to grab more forcefully at Poe’s arm to pull him back to reality, he continued to fight his way out of it. Hot-headed, stubborn, cocky. She should have known better than to bring him along. She should have known things would go the way they were going. 

“You want me to play nice? People are dying.” 

Everything that happened next happened all too fast. The words came spewing from Poe’s lips and as the Princess turned away, no longer requiring herself to be subject to his cruel intonation, he reached out and grabbed her arm before he could be stopped. 

In the back of his mind, he could still hear the echoing warning Leia had provided him, telling him to keep his distance and speak with nothing but respect, but the flashes of war echoing in his head and the fire burning in his chest were crackling too loud for anything else to matter. A part of him knew it was out of line, that same part of him was begging for him to stop, and yet his hand still found the smooth, tattooed skin of her forearm, holding her in place as she moved to turn away in frustration. 

Leia took a strong hold on the sweat-soaked back of his shirt and yanked him back, but the damage had already been done. “Stand down, Dameron,” she tried out but by the time he released her arm, the guards had already descended upon him, gripping him by each arm and kicking the backs of his legs in to drop him to his knees. 

“I think the damage has been done, General.” Her voice was firm in her resolve and equally firm as her language switched and her tongue released a flurry of orders towards the guards who held the stubborn, fighting Dameron on his knees. 

“What the kriff-- I barely touched her--” He fought as their grips grew tighter, forcing him frozen where they held him. 

Leia tried again, this time not to hold Poe back but to carefully convince the princess, “Dekka Anya-Va, please…”

But her mind was made up and nothing either of them could do would change that. 

“We’ll let him think himself over with a sleep in our cells,” she explained to Leia as her stare then fell back to the squirming form of the curly haired and now defenseless pilot. “You can leave with him in the morning.”

“Are you out of your mind?”

“No, but it seems you might be.” The rough, raspiness to her tone which had been so distracting as it filtered out her accent shifted to something nearly playful, as if the whole display before her was amusing. He was being restrained by a towering guard of thick muscle on each side and she had the audacity to chuckle so plainly in his face, only making him fight more even if he knew it was futile. 

Leia stepped forward carefully towards the princess but before she could muster any last defense, the princess gave a wave of her hand and the guards, with shoulders wide in intimidating bulk, heaved the fighting pilot to his feet and began backing him up, dragging him in the opposite direction. 

“Dekka Anya-Va, let me apologize for his actions--”

“Mensha?” Her raspy voice interrupted the General before any real defense could leave her lips, ushering a young maid out from the small crowd which gathered around the display. “Please escort the General to a room where she can wait, give her anything she needs.”

“Dekka Anya-Va--”

“I’m not my mother, General, the sooner you learn that, the better for all of us involved.”

The long walk back into the depths of the granite palace was all too lonely as the Princess dismissed each and every member of her staff which approached her, even waving away the genuine concern on Elias’ brow and leaving him in the halls as she continued to the throne room. Her back was screaming out from the straight form she maintained with each and every step, but she held her stance and walked on, shoulders firm and chin up, just as she was taught. If anyone passed her, they had to see her as what she was, their leader. 

And leaders didn’t waver, no matter how strong the vacuum of emptiness swirling within their chest was, not when there were eyes to see. 

But the second the towering doors of intricate dark oak shut behind her, leaving her alone in the expansive and empty throne room, her shoulders fell in, collapsing her perfect form as her chin fell to her chest. The weight which settled there was too great, and the hollow gorge that tore through her heart was too powerful. 

Did he really think it was that easy?

Her throat burned with the heat rising out of her chest and her legs grew weaker with each step until she collapsed back against the exquisite throne of dark, sparkling granite consumed by overgrown vines, the words from the hot-headed pilot echoing through her mind, latching onto every thought. 

Did he think it was all that simple? Did he think she saw the blood on the hands of the First Order and so easily ignored it? Did he think it was that easy?

A sociopathic, murderous regime… did he really think she didn’t realize what they were? 

The bubbling in her gut continued on as her thoughts swarmed with a buzzing around her mind and her head fell forward into her hands where her elbows rested on her knees. Her fingers made furious circles of her temples but it made no difference, his words were there, haunting her mind and inescapable. 

Did they really think she didn’t know right from wrong? 

With the responsibility for millions of souls resting heavy on her back, the fate of her kind in her hands, it just wasn’t as easy as good versus bad. No matter how badly she wished it was. 

“Dekka Anya-Va,” the faint voice of one of her staffed maids entered her thoughts as the small woman carefully tiptoed into the room. “The prisoner is… angrily shouting for a meeting with you.”

Her back straightened on instinct, sending a shooting pain up her spine with the quick pace of the change. A pain she could barely mask with her regal tone as turned her stare towards the young woman, “we’ll leave him to calm himself down for now.”

“Of course, Dekka.”

As the door shut again, leaving her alone with her thoughts again, a sigh of insurmountable exhaustion fell from her lips and she collapsed back into the uncomfortable shape of stone. 

If only things could be that simple...

tags: (open)

@cammisanders @rogueonestan @blacksquadron-rougetwo @videogamesandpoorlifechoices @trust-dreamcatcher @mistermiraclee @witchyavenger @randomness501​ @buckstaposition​

[it-fits-i-ships]

I took inspiration from a post by @the-stove-is-on-fire and wrote this oneshot (below the read more link) about an AU in which Spideypool adopts Danny and Jazz Fenton and the sheer chaotic energy of Danny and Wade’s dynamic threatens to drive Peter insane. Just in time for Trans Day Of Visibility too!

Danny Fenton sat next to Great Aunt May on one of the plush blue couches in the living room. Wade, who sat on the far side of the couch, had wanted to get leather seating but Peter, who sat between Wade and Danny, had insisted on inventing a new stain-proof fabric because Wade couldn’t be trusted not to make a mess. On the other couch were Jazz, Grandma Pepper, Aunt Morgan, and Grandpa Tony, who was lifting a wrapped box toward Danny.

“Happy birthday, kiddo!” he said.

“Thanks, Grandpa!” Danny said, eagerly ripping open the paper to see what treasures lay within, “Oh awesome! I’ve been wanting to play this game forever! I didn’t even think it was out yet!”

“It’s not,” Grandpa Tony said, “I pulled some strings.”

“You’re the best!”

“There’s one more thing,” Grandpa Tony said, pointing toward the box.

Danny dug further into the tissue paper.

“A key?” Danny asked.

“It’s a key to your birthparents’ house,” Grandpa Tony said, “They were good friends of mine and when they died I bought their house and maintain it so you and Jazz could go there when you were old enough,” he paused and looked around at Peter, Wade, and Jazz, “I already talked it over with your dads and Jazz and we figure since you’re 14 now it’s time to give you the option to go there.”

He looked between Grandpa Tony and his dads, then at Jazz.

“Have you gone there yet?” Danny asked.

“No, I wanted to wait until we could go together,” she said.

“Can I have some time to think about it?”

Peter placed a hand gently on Danny’s shoulder.

“Of course, son, take all the time you need,” he said.

That night, after the party was over and the guests had gone home, Danny lay staring up at the ceiling. His thoughts raced around in his skull like the spinning blades of his ceiling fan so that just when he thought he had caught one long enough to get a good look at it he would find it had flown from his grasp. Of course Danny had known he and Jazz were adopted. Peter and Wade had been very upfront about that. They had also made sure Jazz and Danny knew they were loved and wanted. Danny would be lying if he said he had never been curious about his birth parents. He didn’t know or remember much about them, and some part of him had always wondered where he’d come from, but Peter and Wade had been so good to them he never really felt like he had been lacking for anything.

When Danny was 10 he came out as trans and they had immediately put him on puberty blockers, switched to his new name and pronouns, and gotten him a haircut. Peter and Wade had never cared about clothing so even when Danny was young they had let him pick out “boy” clothes, which meant he didn’t have to get a new wardrobe when he came out. Jazz and their dads had Danny’s back during his social transition, correcting people when they used the wrong name or pronouns and defending him when people tried to tell him he was just going through a phase. Danny really couldn’t have asked for a better upbringing. So do I really need to know more about my birth parents? He thought.

Just then, he heard a soft knock at his door. He turned to see Jazz standing in the hall outside his room.

“Hey,” she said, “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” he said, sitting up against his pillows.

“How are you doing?”

“Just trying to process.”

“I get that,” Jazz said, “It took me a while to wrap my head around the fact that our birth parents’ house is still intact, that we can actually go there and find out about them.”

“Do you remember them?” Danny asked.

“Not much,” she said, “I was only 4 when they died. I think they wore jumpsuits a lot?”

“Jumpsuits?”

Jazz shrugged.

“It was 12 years ago, I could be misremembering.”

“I don’t know if I want to go, Jazz,” Danny admitted, “Part of me wants to find out more about them but we already have parents, you know?”

Jazz sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Listen, Danny,” she said, “I’m not going to tell you what to do or how to feel. If you decide you don’t want to go to the house I’m not going to make you, and neither are Peter or Wade. This is your call. I want to go eventually and if you want to go then we’ll go together but if you don’t that’s okay too. I can always go with Peter or Grandpa Tony,” she paused and pulled him into a big hug, “Take some time to think it over so you make the right choice for you and then let me know what you decide when you’re ready.”

“Thanks, Jazz,” Danny said, leaning in return his sister’s hug.

“Any time,” she said, standing up, “I’m going to bed. Make sure you get some rest too, birthday boy.”

Danny nodded absentmindedly.

“Goodnight,” he said.

“Goodnight!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Danny stood, key in hand, in front of a house that simultaneously felt vaguely familiar and vastly alien to him. There was a large bunch of tech on top of the house that looked like some kind of UFO and a huge light-up sign that read “Fenton Works.” Who the hell were these people? Danny thought. After a few agonizing weeks he had decided to come learn what he could about his birth parents and Peter had agreed to drive them to the old Fenton residence. He didn’t break his gaze from the house as he felt Jazz take his free hand in hers.

“Are you ready?” she asked.

“As I’ll ever be,” he said, stepping up to put the key in the door.

The three of them walked into the living room, which Danny immediately noticed had purple walls. On the far wall was an opening to a bright green kitchen.

“Wow,” Jazz said, “They had some, uh, interesting tastes in interior design.”

“What until you see the lab in the basement,” Peter said.

“The WHAT?!” Danny and Jazz said in unison.

“Why is everyone in our lives some kind of scientist or science experiment?” Jazz asked.

“Or both, in Grandpa Tony’s case,” Danny added.

Peter shrugged.

“Just lucky, I guess.”

“What did they even do here?” Danny asked.

“They were inventors. They used their tech to hunt ghosts,” Peter said.

“Ghosts?” Jazz said incredulously, “Really?”

Peter nodded.

“So they were crazy,” she said.

“They preferred to be called ‘misunderstood geniuses.’”

“Sure, geniuses on a mission to catch Casper.”

“Jazz,” Danny interjected, “Our dads have super powers, Wade is constantly breaking the laws of physics, Grandpa Tony has personally met aliens and deities, and you’re hung up on ghosts?”

Jazz raised her finger and opened her mouth as if to counter his argument but then, seeming to think better of it, she lowered her hand and closed her mouth as an annoyed look overtook her face.

“Let’s look around some more,” she said.

“Can I go down to the lab?” Danny asked.

“I want to look up here first,” Jazz said.

“Can I go look around by myself, Dad?” Danny asked, turning on his saddest puppy eyes.

“Okay, okay,” Peter said, “Just be careful. Don’t touch anything and put on one of the jumpsuits so you don’t accidentally get anything on your clothes.”

“Awesome!” Danny said, already searching for the staircase to the basement.

He quickly found it, descended into the drab gray laboratory, and slipped into one of the jumpsuits hanging on the wall as per Peter’s request. The lab was lined with consoles that had glowing panels and various buttons and switches, counters and tables covered with all kinds of lab equipment from microscopes to complicated networks of flasks and tubes, and a very cluttered work desk covered in noted, equations, and diagrams but the thing that really caught Danny’s attention was the massive metal archway on the far side of the room. It sat open and he squinted to try and make out what was inside. It appeared to be the entrance to some sort of tunnel. Couldn’t hurt to take a closer look, he thought.

Carefully, Danny crept into the dark tunnel. He could hardly see anything in the dim light. What the hell is this thing? He thought as he walked distractedly forward with his hands out in front of him. Before he could contemplate the structure further, his outstretched hand ran right into something small and round. The thing gave a click, a pit forming in Danny’s stomach as the tunnel lit up like the 4th of July with swirling green shapes he couldn’t identify. The light seemed to pass right through him and he felt as much as heard the scream that ripped from his chest as every atom of his being burned.

The next thing he knew he was on the floor outside the tunnel. He awoke to someone shaking him by the shoulders.

“Danny!” Jazz cried frantically, “Danny, please get up!”

He sat up slowly and clutched his aching head with a groan, only to give another when Jazz threw her arms tightly around him and forced the air out of his lungs.

“I thought you were dead,” she said.

“What happened?” Danny managed.

“I don’t know, kiddo,” Peter said, “But you might want to look in a mirror.”

“What?”

Peter and Jazz hoisted Danny up so he could see his reflection on the shiny glass screen of a large monitor on the wall. Oh shit. His hair had turned a stark white and his once blue eyes were glowing the same radioactive green that had filled the tunnel before he had lost consciousness. What the fuck? He thought, his panic rising exponentially as he leaned on the monitor with one hand to get a better look at himself. Suddenly, he was falling forward and his face smacked into the glass.

“Danny!” Jazz called.

“Are you okay?” Peter asked, reaching out to steady his son.

“I think s–”

His train of thought was completely derailed by the sight of his forearm, or lack thereof. He wiggled his fingers and clinched his fist. He could still feel his hand. Is my arm…invisible? He thought.

“Danny,” Peter said gently, “I think your panicking is making things worse. Look right at me,” he paused as he oriented Danny’s shoulders so they were facing each other, “And a take a deep, slow breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth,” he paused to demonstrate the technique and waited for Danny to copy him, “Good, one more time,” he paused for Danny’s breath, “Remember when you were 5 and Aunt May asked you to help her pick a puppy?” he asked.

“Yeah?” Danny said, torquing his eyebrows in confusion.

“There were so many,” Peter continued, “How did you know you picked the right one?”

“Donut was the only one who came up to give both of us kisses,” Danny said, “And he fell asleep in my lap. I thought he seemed like a good dog for Aunt May.”

As Danny thought back to that childhood memory he felt a strange tingling all over his body, like everything was shifting ever so slightly. He looked down and he could see his arm again. He snapped his head up to look back into the glass monitor, where his reflection showed his natural black hair and blue eyes.

“I’m back to normal!” he said, “How did you know that would work, Dad?”

“I freaked out really hard when I first got my powers. I ended up stuck to a wall with no idea how to get down. It wasn’t until I took a second to calm down that I was able to unstick myself. I figured it might be something similar with whatever that was,” Peter said.

“Do you think that’ll happen again?” Danny asked.

“Probably,” Peter admitted, “But for now I think we’ve all had enough excitement and we should head home. I’ll bring you kids back here later if you want,” he paused and looked directly at Danny, “With thorough supervision, of course.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Danny held his head in his hands, quite literally. He had finally mastered the trick where he could stretch an invisible bit of his body from his neck to the base of his head so it looked like his head was no longer attached. His two years of training had really paid off. Peter and Wade, and even Jazz, had helped him master his powers but he had been cooking this one up in secret for the express purpose of ghostly shenanigans. Jazz was away at college and Peter was still out for the day. Which means my first victim is –

“Hey, Danny,” Wade’s voice came around the corner as he approached the living room, “Did you eat the last pudding cup?”

“Maybe.”

“Bruh! I totally called dibs on that o–” Wade paused, taking in the scene before him, “Danny, what the fuck happened to your head?! Ugh! Peter’s gonna kill me!” he added.

Danny stuck out his tongue.

“I’m fine, just a little,” here he paused to toss his head into the air, “Lightheaded!”

“You little shit, that was beautiful!” Wade said, pulling a small throwing knife seemingly out of nowhere and chucking it at Danny.

“Dad, what the hell?”

“I’m not ‘Dad,’ I’m Deadpool! I’m here to eat pudding and throw knives,” he paused, lowering his voice, “And I’m all out of pudding.”

He threw a barrage of knives at Danny, who nimbly dodged the projectiles and lobbed a pillow from the couch right at Wade’s face. Each knife lodged itself into a different part of the couch as Danny fired off multiple blasts of ghost fire.

“Hey, Siri, play the Ghost Busters theme. I’m going hunting,” Wade said, brandishing the pillow and another knife at Danny.

Just then, they heard the front door open.

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” came Peter’s voice, “There was a thing I had to take care of on the way home –”

He froze at the sight of his husband and son sparring in the living room, his handful of groceries seemingly forgotten.

“Danny started it!” Wade said quickly.

“Deadpool, you fucking snitch!” Danny called, pointing an accusatory finger at Wade.

“Language!” Peter said.

“Yeah, Danny, watch your fucking language,” Wade said, giggling under his breath.

“Wade!”

“What?”

Peter sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose in a circular motion.

“All right,” he said quietly to himself, “So the new couches need to be stain-proof, knife-proof, and fire-proof. You two are in charge of putting the groceries away.”

“Did you get more pudding cups?” Wade asked hopefully.

Peter looked him dead in the eyes as he extracted two packages of pudding cups from one of the bags and tucked them under his arm.

“No,” he said, “Now go put this stuff away and clean up this mess,” he added, gesturing toward the living room.

He turned and headed, pudding still in tow, to his study.

Wade wiped away a single tear as the pudding vanished from sight.

“Oof,” said Danny.

[fermented-writers-block]

Why I think the actual Angel is Noelle Holiday

After nine months of research, procrastination, and working out the kinks, here’s a little theory of mine that’s been floating around in my head ever since the end of last November about Noelle Holiday and her potential role in the future of the series. It’s a bit of a long read, but I hope you’ll be willing to indulge me and give this crazy theory a chance.

As a forewarning, the following points I will be bringing up are simply too hefty to make a TLDR for, and it’s quite a long read, but trust me, you’re going to want to read through all of it for it to make sense in the end

Part 1: The Possible Evolution of the Delta Rune

First off, I’d like to look at the Delta Rune itself and a few easily overlooked key lines Gerson says about it:

That emblem actually predates written history.

The original meaning has been lost to time…

All we know is that the triangles symbolize us monsters below, and the winged circle above symbolizes…

Somethin' else.

The meaning and design of symbols can change over time, and it’s likely the same has happened to the way the Delta Rune is currently interpreted compared to when it first came into existence. For example, take a look at these variations of the Delta Rune:

Of these variations of the Delta Rune, these may be some of the oldest or closest iterations of the symbol to the original design, especially the ones from the intro cutscene and Gerson’s shop. The former is presumably from long before the Human-Monster War and thus the oldest version, and with Gerson’s apparent age and how he implies that he studies history, it is likely that the variation in his shop is also as close as can be to the original.

As for how these particular iterations of the Delta Rune fit into my theory, look at the design and positioning of the wings in these probably older iterations compared to likely more modern interpretations:

On the more recent interpretations, the base of the wings are placed around the same level as the center of the circle, and the wings themselves are mostly realistically designed. However, on the older interpretations, the wings are more simplified and stylized with more of an explicit arc to them, and the ‘feathers’ are more blocky with visible and sometimes significant spaces in between. Now keep that in mind when looking at these pictures:

Taking this into account, I think it is possible that - through the help of time and redesigns becoming successively more stylized - what was originally supposed to be a reindeer with antlers slowly got distorted and misremembered as a ‘winged circle.”

And maybe, something like this might even apply to Deltarune’s version of the Delta Rune as well given how several of the depictions of the Angel throughout the game look like the transition point between the older and newer designs, what with the ‘feathers’ being much rounder and closer together while still on an arc-based stylized design instead of a realistic wing-like design:

Part 2: The Origins of Modern Christmas

Now, with that established, let’s take a closer look at Noelle and her family.

Besides the obvious exception of Lancer, she has the most dialogue of all the NPCs, gets two entire scenes to herself in the hospital with her dad and outside her house to flesh out her character and crush on Susie compared to several other NPCs getting only a few lines of dialogue at most, and it is absolutely required to talk to her at the beginning of the game in order to even progress and end up in the Dark World. 

As many other posts than mine have demonstrated, this suspicious level of detail has led a lot of people to theorize that Noelle will be an important character and that she might even be playable later on, a theory which has certainly been helped by Toby Fox’s original concept art of “THE FUN GANG” showing that her character has been in development for a LONG time - perhaps even from when work on Deltarune was just beginning - and that she may have been designed as a main character from the start.

However, much like how the potential origins of Undertale’s Delta Rune point towards the importance of reindeer in the series, I believe the deeper origins behind the names of the Holiday family similarly point towards Noelle’s true role in Deltarune. 

Obviously, the name Rudy is a clear reference to the famous Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, and Dess is most likely a reference to how Christmas is celebrated in the month of December. However, as Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer was created in 1939 for the Montgomery Ward department store chain, he is actually a relatively new addition to the list of Santa’s reindeer, whom in of themselves are early 19th Century additions to the image of Santa Claus - a figure tracing back to the 4th Century Christian bishop Saint Nicholas.

And on Jesus’ birth being on the 25th of December for Dess’ name, from what I’ve gathered with my google-fu, the event may have actually taken place less on December 25 and more during the fall or spring due to mentions of shepherds tending to their sheep in the scripture as well as from several attempts to connect the Star of Bethlehem with recorded astronomical events.

In fact, it seems likely that - in the 4th Century - the church might have actually chosen the date either because of coming to the conclusion that Jesus’ conception took place on the spring solstice - aka March 25, nine months before December 25 - or because they wanted to increase the popularity of Christianity through adopting and appropriating pagan winter solstice festivals like the Yule and Saturnalia holidays around the same time of year.

On the flipside, Noelle is a name that has a particularly distinct connection to Christmas; specifically, to the one for whom the holiday is named for in the first place rather than a recent secular addition or the general time in which said holiday is celebrated.

From what I’ve seen, Noelle as a name traces back to the French word ‘noel,’ which - alongside referring to Christmas carols - is a variant form of the word ‘Nael.’ This form comes from the noun use of the Latin adjective natalis, meaning of, or belonging to, one’s birth. The noun use (from natalis dies, day of birth) denoted a birthday, an anniversary, a commemorative festival, hence in ecclesiastical Latin the festival of the nativity of Christ, Christmas.

Basically, out of all the names of the Holiday family, Noelle’s is the one that most directly ties into the actual origins of Christmas in how the name’s origins heavily revolve around the birth of Jesus Christ, a major religious figure who was to be a sacrifice for humanity’s sins and to provide a way into heaven.

Considering Toby Fox’s attention to hidden details and deeper meanings and how angels are heavily associated with and are depicted in Christianity - particularly in relation to Jesus - there may be further significance to Toby picking a name that’s typically given to girls born around or on Christmas day. After all, even if it may or may not be the actual day of Jesus’ birth, it is widely celebrated and recognized as such.

However, as you’ll see at the end, I think there’s even another layer of meaning to Noelle Holiday’s name than just this one. 

Part 3: Reindeer in Undertale

On a slightly different topic, while it’s hard to ignore how more prominently featured Christmas iconography and figures in the foreground of the series - what with the introduction of the Holiday family as well as several jokes about “Krismas” and Santa Claus in Deltarune, I believe it may also be important to pay attention to Undertale’s fair share of Christmas-themed details.

Namely, in how a significant amount of them owe their existence to one specific minor character; aka the rather unusually designed Gyftrot.

In contrast to the handful of implications that Asgore is the Underground’s Santa only being implicitly hinted at through extended dialogue and checking his bureau, Snowdin’s tradition of putting presents under decorated trees is blatantly and conspicuously out in the open. 

And as Gift Bear explains if you talk to them, said tradition originated not with wherever Asgore’s Santa outfit and apparent moonlighting came from, but rather came about in the first place as a way to make Gyftrot feel better after some teens decorated his horns.

As to why I am calling Gyftrot unusually designed, it is because of his rounded head and sideways mouth - a trait only seen elsewhere in the DT Extraction Machine, Photoshop Flowey, and Sans’ Gaster Blasters.

Of all the conversations and theories I’ve seen about this strange detail, most people were only able to come up with the explanation that Toby simply liked the design and reused it for Gyftrot just for fun without any deeper meaning to it, or that Toby unintentionally gave it to Gyftrot while making Undertale.

However, a third explanation I found is that Gyftrot’s design may actually be foreshadowing for what Photoshop Flowey’s appearance looks like, what with how Gyftrot actually seems to have a second pair of eyes at the base of his antlers, and how one of the decorations he spawns with is a picture between his four eyes in a very similar position to the television screen on Photoshop Flowey.

To my knowledge, this explanation and comparison has only been made in conjunction by two people, with user u/Peridotthepie providing the explanation and and user u/pleasespellicup providing the following picture in the linked post.

While I can’t see any other possible parallels between the two to fully call this foreshadowing - especially with how the picture decoration isn’t guaranteed to show up on every playthrough and how obscure it is - I’d like to propose the idea that the DT Extraction Machine (and perhaps the Gaster Blasters by extension) may very well be based on Gyftrot or a relative with a similar design in-universe.

After all, not even boss monsters leave behind anything more than a pile of dust when they die, not even a goat-like skull that could be used as a reference, whereas Gyftrot is a living, walking example of such a design, complete with what even seems to be a SOUL-shaped hole in his mouth.

Not only that, but given how attentive to detail and deeper meanings Toby has shown himself to be as well as the increased prominence and importance of reindeer/Christmas themes in general for Deltarune, I find it incredibly unlikely that this design choice was made just for fun or as an accident.

On a bit of a side note, it is interesting that we first learned of the name “Rudy” in a post from September 17, 2017 on Undertale’s 2nd anniversary and alarm clock app.

Considering the apparent parallels between Undertale and Deltarune - for example, the potential connection between Susie and the ‘Suzy’ character mentioned by Clam Girl, who appears to have ties to Gaster - and the implications of the dialogue in that post, it’s likely that Undertale Rudy is also a reindeer just like his counterpart, and I would not be surprised if he was also related to Gyftrot as well.

As for what the exact deeper meaning or in-universe explanation behind Gyftrot could be, it’s too early to tell, but I have the feeling that it likely ties heavily into Noelle’s circumstances in Deltarune and some of the effects of the DT Extraction Machine on Undertale’s plot as detailed below.

Part 4: Determining Other Connections

To explain what I’m talking about, let’s take a closer look at a few key lab entries by Alphys, starting with this one:

ENTRY NUMBER 5: I've done it. Using the blueprints, I've extracted it from the human SOULs. I believe this is what gives their SOULs the strength to persist after death. The will to keep living... The resolve to change fate. Let's call this power... "Determination."*

While not explicitly confirmed, from the name and surrounding context, it is likely that the blueprints Alphys used were for the DT Extraction Machine and that DT stands for Determination, though it is unknown whether Alphys built the machine from the blueprints or if it was already constructed and she merely used the blueprints to operate it.

Either way, as we all know, things went horribly wrong from there. Alphys had accidentally turned those who had “fallen down” into the Amalgamates, created Flowey from the flower whose seeds Asriel had brought from the surface, and fell into a nervous downward spiral while wracked with guilt.

Now, I want to focus on just how the Amalgamates had been created, particularly with these entries:

ENTRY NUMBER 6: ASGORE asked everyone outside the city for monsters that had "fallen down." Their bodies came in today. They're still comatose... And soon, they'll all turn into dust. But what happens if I inject "determination" into them? If their SOULS persist after they perish, then... Freedom might be closer than we all thought.

ENTRY NUMBER 12: nothing is happening. i don't know what to do. i'll just keep injecting everything with "determination." i want this to work.

ENTRY NUMBER 17: monsters' physical forms can't handle "determination" like humans can. with too much determination, our bodies begin to break down. everyone's melted together…

Here, I’d like to draw your attention to a few things. Given the surrounding context, “falling down” seems to be a condition - one that potentially originates from age, injury, or some kind of illness - involving or causes monsters to enter a comatose state and eventually die. 

And in Entry 17, there is the interesting wording of the line “with too much determination, our bodies begin to break down.” From how it’s phrased, it seems that, instead of melting from any amount of Determination in their systems whatsoever, monsters can handle Determination without having to fear of their bodies breaking down, though obviously there’s a cap to how much they are able to handle.

As for why I’m making this particular distinction, it’s because of Noelle’s situation with her father and how it may proceed beyond Chapter 1 in the future.

With the implication that Undertale Rudy had passed away a while ago, Deltarune Rudy’s conversations with and about Noelle, and Deltarune’s apparent theme of choices not mattering - or at least, not in the long run - it seems pretty likely that DR Rudy is suffering from a case of the foreboding coughs of death and that he may even “fall down” later on.

As such, it wouldn’t be surprising if his condition keeps worsening all the way until he ends up on his deathbed/in a coma/legitimately dead no matter what the doctors or Noelle and such do to help, and neither would it be surprising for her to be seriously affected and react in a severe way as a result.

I mean, Rudy openly talks about how everything scares her, even ironically Santa Claus, and as the classroom scene demonstrates, she has trouble mustering up the courage and confidence to assert herself to the point where even Alphys asks her to speak up.

Considering that her father openly talks about how defenseless she is and how he worries about not being able to protect her from his hospital bed, his death/apparently inevitable upcoming death would no doubt drastically impact her, especially if she attempted as much as she could to stop it to no avail. 

Sometimes, one can be driven to desperation to do crazy things as a result of love and worry, and Noelle may very well do the same out of love for her father. If at least some of Undertale’s rules about SOULS and monsters also apply to the world of Deltarune, then there may only be one way - or at the very least, what she feels might be the only option left - in the end for Noelle to potentially give her father the strength to persist and the will to keep living, perhaps even after death.

Or in other words, potentially through extracting enough Determination from a human SOUL to inject into and potentially save her father/bring him back to life. 

If the SOUL we the players control is or is close enough to a human SOUL to work, no other human characters/SOULS pop up later, and Noelle somehow finds out about the power of Determination and becomes resolved to use it, then there may be few - if any - things we will be able to do to dissuade her from going after Kris/wherever the SOUL we control goes.

Now, this is where what I think could be the second meaning behind Noelle’s name points would come into play, and in quite an important way.

For those that don’t know, if you enter Susie, Kris, or Noelle as the creator’s name in Deltarune’s introduction, you get the interesting following response:

“YOU ARE ABOUT TO MEET SOMEONE VERY, VERY WONDERFUL.”

With how anagrams appear to be a major theme of Deltarune in both a naming and worldbuilding sense, it's rather curious that of these three names, only two make any actually sensible anagrams. Kris and Susie can be turned into "risk" and "issue,” but Noelle oddly appears to buck the trend. 

However, I think the answer for this ties back to Lab Entry 17. You see, in toxicology research terms, Alphys had injected more than “the highest dose at which there was not an observed toxic or adverse effect.”

Interestingly, this level of dosage is known as the No Observable Adverse Effect Level, or the term NOAEL for short. And sometimes, when describing and looking for an effect in general than just specifically adverse ones, the term used in toxicology reports is the No Observable Effect Level, or NOEL.

Basically, if Noelle hopes to save her father, she needs to make sure to not inject too much or too little Determination. Otherwise, she’d go below the NOEL, where Ruby would simply not have enough strength to keep living, or above the NOAEL, where Rudy would seem to be fine for a while at first before inevitably melting down. 

And with that, Noelle’s strangely un-anagramable name can be reconciled with Kris and Susie’s, all three names relating to terms often used to describe something problematic in a scientific way.

In fact, one could even say that the terms their names correspond to sound like they would fit very well in a lab or experiment report, perhaps one involving interesting increases in darkness, like an imbalance in Dark Fountains…

Part 5: Conclusions

Of course, I do realize that that last bit is quite a stretch to suggest, even in comparison to the rest of my theory and particularly the latter half of the above section. As of now, there’s no real way of telling how these details actually connect in this way or if they really even connect to each other in the first place, let alone if they even operate on similar enough rules like my theory presumes. 

Heck, with the shortage of clear definitive details about W.D. Gaster, the apparent differences between the worlds of Deltarune and Undertale, and how things may change or have already changed in development in between games and chapters, it’s entirely possible that the series will take a very different direction than the one laid out here.

Perhaps we haven’t even heard of the character who is the actual Angel and everything we’ve seen so far are just red herrings. Maybe Ralsei’s legend will be revealed to have been falsified and he and/or Asriel will turn out to be the Angel like commonly theorized. For all we know, the world of Deltarune might not even precede OR succeed Undertale’s, and it’ll turn out that both worlds are derived from a third, unaltered world/timeline.

But whatever it may be, at the point we currently are at now, I find that my most likely candidate for the Angel is Noelle Holiday. On their own, the details supporting my theory would be easy to disregard and aur tenuous at best when taken by themselves, but when taken together as a whole, it’s hard to deny that they VERY much look like they start to frame a pretty concerning picture about the exact role of reindeer across the entire series. 

I mean, even if stuff like Determination turn out to not exist - or at least, don’t work the same way they do in Undertale at all - in Deltarune, the following general sequence of events seem likely to happen for me; that Rudy might get worse to the point of almost dying/actually dying, that Noelle might turn to something just as equally rather dangerous or desperate as extracting Determination in order to save/bring back her father, and that what she does may involve/cause her to somehow become the Angel.

Besides, like we can see from the introduction to Deltarune Chapter 1, it would be much like Toby to play with our expectations from Undertale and set us up to suspect that Ralsei or Asriel may be the Angel while he sets up the real Angel elsewhere.

After all, just about every good magic trick and literature twist relies on the art of misdirection at least in some part, subtly distracting the audience while the real clues are being built up in plain sight.

Like, for example, using the power of fluffy boys to deflect attention from the reindeer in the background.

[tehuti88-art]

8/12/22: r/SketchDaily theme, "Mushrooms/Free Draw Friday." (I did Free Draw Friday.)

This week's character from my anthro WWII storyline is Corporal Anna Julian, with four drawings: Hair down sans garrison cap (first drawing), hair up sans garrison cap (second drawing), hair down with garrison cap (third drawing), hair up with garrison cap (last drawing). She's one of the original "Trench Rats" (American Allies) in the story and gets involved with their original sergeant, Camo. In the earlier version of the story she had a tragic plot; now her plot's tragic as well as quite dark, as she has a particularly nasty secret. There'll be more about her later in my art Tumblr and Toyhou.se.

I haven't much to say regarding her design but that at the last minute I decided on a hair-up look to complement the hair-down look.

TUMBLR EDIT: Anna Julian is an OLLLLLD character whose history has changed drastically, most of that change being recent (and lots of fog still remaining--she's not being entirely forthcoming just yet). Her original history makes me very uncomfortable to share, but of course I have to, so here I go.

My Trench Rats series has gone through several major iterations since its creation some time in childhood. It was based on a misunderstanding (albeit an intentional one, I guess) I had of a project my mother, then a seamstress, was working on. She was making what I remember as satin capes and caps with Mickey Mouse-style ears, in various colors such as black, gold, red, purple, etc. I asked her what these were and she mentioned something called the "Trench Rats." This was in the Eighties--no Internet, and we had just a set of hopelessly outdated encyclopedias at the time. Somehow, maybe by asking my dad, I learned that "trench rats" was a term for soldiers in WWI. Here's where the "intentional misunderstanding" comes in. I believe I was always aware that trench rats were a WWI thing. But for some reason I can't recall, I decided that MY Trench Rats--literal anthropomorphic rats--would be in WWII. So to anyone who might see my WWII Trench Rats and get peeved by that "mistake," rest assured it was intentional. (The reason for this has since been retconned into the plot, see below for a brief explanation.)

I've since Googled this. Why would my mother be making capes and hats for "Trench Rats"? She often did sewing jobs for individuals and in this case an organization. Turns out there's some sort of fraternal-type organization devoted to the original WWI vets though obviously it's shifted its purpose by now. There are no capes to be seen...but there ARE colored hats. In this case, fezzes. Like Shriners (another group I incorporated into earlier writing of mine). The colors have to do with different ranks and they have things like white and purple, though there are also colors just associated with ranks and tassels and not fezzes, for example I think there's a "Golden Rodent." I specifically remember MOUSE-EAR CAPS in colors like red, black, and gold (incidentally, the colors of the modern German flag), but I'm willing to bet my childhood brain misremembered it all. I couldn't find out much more about these Trench Rats (their site is very basic), but I decided to not look further anyway because I might find a political angle or something that will completely ruin my childhood memory right when I'm FINALLY giving it the attention it deserves. So, that's the only connection my story has to the "real" Trench Rats as they exist today. Mickey Mouse ears were too goofy (no pun intended) even for me, so not long after these were changed into what I misassumed was the typical German headgear, that funky spiked helmet which it turns out is called the Pickelhaube (hahaha, yep, no lie.) Which it turns out was WWI wear, not WWII! So this choice here actually WAS a mistake. I also misassumed the Pickelhaube was merely the ACTUAL WWII German helmet (the Stahlhelm) just with a spike on top; you can see this remaining to this day in my art. Same as above, I retconned an explanation for these outdated helmets--these "Trench Rats" are mimicking German soldiers of the Great War in an attempt to psych out the superstitious Nazis (shortly after, they drop the pretense but keep the uniforms). The solid colors I'd seen on the outfits my mother was sewing turned into color-coded outfits my Rats wore and were named after--Black, Gold, Burgundy, etc. Kind of a clunky retcon but there you go, I tried.

One of the first iterations of the Rats, if not THE first, simply involved a friend and myself pretending to be them on the elementary school playground at recess. I specifically remember old tires that had been half-buried in the ground (we'd run over these), and a bunch that had been stacked atop each other; we'd crawl inside and pretend to be imprisoned. At this point, the Rats were constantly antagonized by the bad guy, who was named Inspector Dobermann. (Initially named after the dog breed, I later gave him the name Louis, from the guy who actually bred the doberman pinscher into existence. Aside from that, he's really not based on the guy, even though an early version of him was meant to be a tax collector, which has since been dropped.) I guess this was when I settled on the story consisting mainly of good guy rodents and bad guy canines. And of course, the bad guys were Nazis. We goosestepped whenever we played them because in our fifth- or sixth-grade minds, that was what Nazis did. At this point Dobermann was a silly character subordinate to Woofwoof Hitler...sigh, I kid you not...who also was silly. There was no mention of camps or the Holocaust and I'd never heard of the SS, this was just idiotic ignorant gradeschool "fun." (For what it's worth, Dobey was constantly being bested.)

(You'll notice that in these early iterations, Sgt. Camo and Cpl. Drake, the original Trench Rats leaders, didn't exist yet. Same for Didrika, Boris, Ratdog, Klemper, Senta, Helmstadt, Holt, Reseda, Wolfstein, Gerhardt, I could go on for quite a while. Indigo, Papillon, and Addy Dobermann came along not long after, though the latter two were named LaFierre and Bambush Dobermann (DON'T ASK!--I have no idea!), and "Bambush" was much more independent and outspoken and annoying. Silver was there, but not too important yet. Dr. Kammler I believe may have existed in a very rudimentary, unnamed version who later got the appellation "Dr. C." D-Day, Burgundy, and Turquoise were already important characters, though. Meanwhile, formerly important characters Red, Purple, Green, and Blue started falling by the wayside, although I've since made Blue, along with Silver, Turquoise, Indigo, Copper, and a few others, one of the very original group of soldiers who were subsumed into the Trench Rats. And a very few characters, such as "Mam Rat" (oh God I won't get into it), were completely scrapped.)

Going into junior high, the story gradually began to darken. It went through a weird phase of shoehorning female equivalents of the male characters into the plot, in the person of the "Trench Mice." Yep. ;_; They simply had the same color names only with "Y" on the end--Sgt. Reddy Mouse and Cpl. Pinky Mouse were the two main characters. Fortunately, the Trench Mice phase didn't last long, and it was long ago completely dropped. Dobermann, however, started undergoing a makeover, becoming much more mysterious and ominous a character, whose exact motivations and even alignment remained unknown to me until literally...*checks notes*...December 2, 2021. Yep, I took a note when his purpose in the story finally revealed itself to me. I was in junior high from 1989-1991--the time period when the Berlin Wall fell!--so look how long it took for Dobey to finally open up to me. THIRTY YEARS! About damn time! (The story series was much more broken up at this point, and there was meant to be an uber-edgy novel called Inspector Dobermann To The Core, but like the Mice, this has since thankfully been scrapped.)

('Nother odd detail. Around this point, since Dobey was becoming more serious, the "comic relief" consisted of a pair of bumbling Nazis codenamed Nightstalker (or just Stalker) and Deserta. Don't ask, I have no memory how they got these names. Stalker, I believe, was a doberman pinscher and Deserta was a German shepherd whose voice and personality were modeled after a favorite science teacher of mine. (Hi, Mr. Scott!) Stalker was the more serious of the two, kind of short tempered and a bit prissy, and for some reason I seem to recall him with glasses; Deserta was the bigger, dumber one, not as ill tempered as Stalker but kind of clumsy. These two, like the Trench Mice and (thank God) Woofwoof Hitler, were phased out...or so I thought. Look at the characters of the current version and you'll find a pair, the smarter one with glasses, and the big dumb one--the first is even still a doberman pinscher, although the second is now a Great Dane. It certainly wasn't intentional, and I didn't even notice it at first, but it really does look like Nightstalker and Deserta were effectively replaced by Lt. Gunter Hesse and Master Sgt. Theodor Schulte.)

Schavich is another character who underwent major changes. He was conflated quite a bit with Woofwoof in the earlier stuff, and was very goofy and unintimidating. (Woofwoof is the one who says something similar in the existing text, but Schavich also was primarily known to yell stuff like, "Zose--dirty--TRENCH RATS!!" Yes, I had to phonetically write out the German accent, which only Woofwoof and Schavich seemed to possess... 🤔 ) He's since replaced "Hitler" as the primary rodent antagonist (though in truth, the primary antagonists in this story are nebulous, I think the main bad guy is actually the SS itself rather than any one individual), become more serious, and is on the verge of a name change ("Schavitz" is much more appropriate than the made-up--and Russian-sounding--Schavich).

But anyway...Anna Julian is a character who I believe came about during this darker intermediary period. Her story is told in the first known written version of The Trench Rats--not the first version, the first WRITTEN version. (It claims to be based on an even earlier version, but that's not extant, plus I don't remember it.) And after digging up the typeout (and grimacing at awful dialogue like "I hate this. I just hate war." "Aw, these Nazis'll give up soon." "Yeah, but it's still stupid. Putting people in concentration camps just because they worship a little differently? That's dumb"--OH GOD MAKE IT STOP), I realize Julian's story was where the original text ended. I remember it was extremely difficult for me to write; and even to share it here, despite all the other stuff I've shared, is really hard, too. Still, here's the original text, with my commentary removed. This was written over a period of time but is dated November(?) 1990. Please keep that in mind--at least when I started this text, I'd just turned 14 years old. And my writing at 14 years old is absolutely dreadful.

"We're here," he said. "Now what's this about, Turquoise?"

His older friend heaved a great breath and let it out. "There's something I've been carrying with me for years Gold, and now I want to get it off my chest before I lose it."

"Why now?" Gold asked.

"It's because of the grenade explosion," Turquoise replied. "When I woke up I thought of how close I came to getting it, and how next time I might not be so lucky so this secret would die with me. So I thought I'd tell it to you. You're tougher than an old bird like me. Sit down and make yourself comfortable if that's at all possible."

Gold did as he was told and Turquoise, with the West Wing entrance looming as his background, began his story.

"Of course it was a very long time ago when all of the original Rats were here, before the Wing was closed," he started. "We had a totally different sergeant, a totally different corporal, different lance-corporals and privates. Even Blue was rather new and he was still a private first-class. You probably wouldn't know this, but back then we had another thing that was totally different; we had a female Trench Rat."

"A lady Rat?" Gold interjected.

Turquoise nodded. "And I don't mean like Mam either. She was just like us--only more like Burgundy. She never did any real fighting but was more into Burgundy's line of work."

"You mean doctoring and bookwork."

A nod. "But nonetheless she was a Trench Rat, like you or me. Now, how do you think the others' feelings would be about that?"

"A lady Rat?... I guess they wouldn't like it too much."

"You're right. Barely anyone liked the idea. Most hated it from the start but the sergeant wasn't for sexual discrimination and let her enter. I suppose you can imagine the jeers and remarks she had to take."

"You bet I can."

"There were only a few of us who took it in stride. I myself was one of them, and Burgundy, and--"

"Let me guess: Blue and Doomsday."

"Right again. So of course we were about the only ones whom she really became acquainted with. And that was mostly just on a professional level. This is a cold, cold world. I suppose she learned that, also. In a terrible way."

"What do you mean?"

Now Turquoise acted almost guiltily. "Afterwards she told me most of the story, so I'll piece it together. As best as I can remember, several of the Rats were apparently growing bolder in their actions. They disliked how well the lady Rat and the sergeant got along. Maybe they misinterpreted their casual friendship, for that's all it was, and decided to do something about it. Do 'something' they did--one night three of them accosted her in the empty West Wing, first pretending to be friendly, then becoming more threatening, and finally raping her and leaving her behind."

Gold shuddered. "I never thought they'd do something so low!"

"That's not the end of it. I'm not certain how long after it was, but later that night or the next she came to my quarters and cried to be let in. There she told me everything, except who the Rats were; she didn't know their names but could only point them out. She said that if she told anyone they had threatened to get rid of her in some way--I don't know if by actual killing or not--and further stated that during the attack she had seen another Trench Rat, a great distance away at the entrance, notice what was happening and quickly dart away. I had her go to bed, telling her we could look through the files tomorrow after she had settled down a little more. She never got to identify any of the four Rats though because directly after she disappeared."

"Disappeared?" Gold said with great surprise.

Turquoise nodded a third time. "The next day she was gone. There were signs that she never even made it to her quarters. Later in the day while we searched one of the Rats came to me and asked if she had visited and told me anything unusual. I said no, she'd just dropped in to give me something, but hinted that she had been acting oddly, as if she were afraid of something. This seemed to shake him up a little, but he left and it was supposed then that she, finding barracks life too hard, had gone AWOL. Not long after, before I could figure out how to tell my strange story to the sergeant, there was the trench raid, when the poison gas killed off nearly all of the Rats. The Rat who had so oddly questioned me was killed, and the sergeant's body, if he too died, was never found."

"What about the other three?" Gold asked.

"I don't know. The Rat who visited me seemed to have several friends waiting, and I recognized them as killed or missing in action, and I never did find out about the last Rat."

Gold was silent for a moment. "He was the only one...?"

Turquoise closed his eyes and nodded. "The only witness. The only one who could tell who the attackers were. And I don't know if he's dead or alive." He heaved a sigh of helplessness. "He could be almost anybody! He could be Purple, or Blue, or D-Day, or any one of those scores who were killed in the trenches or taken prisoner. I don't even know who he is."

Another silence. "What happened then?"

"There were only about two dozen of us, so we cleared out the rooms of the West Wing--one of which was her original quarters--and had it boarded up. I had only several days to look around and try to find anything, any little clue as to what happened. She couldn't have gone AWOL. I know she wouldn't. I asked D-Day once if he thought she'd deserted, and even he--someone who has no idea of what really happened--said it seemed doubtful. But nothing ever turned up, and the West Wing was closed down, and now here it is." He took a deep breath again. "You can't possibly imagine how it feels to finally let that all out. All these years I've never told anybody. I didn't know just what to tell them."

"You've done more than a good job of telling me," Gold said.

Turquoise managed a weak smile. "I suppose that's because I knew I had to tell someone before I burst. I can't help feeling guilty, like I never did enough."

Gold reached across and patted his shoulder. "Nothing's your fault. Even if you would've told the sergeant probably nothing could be done. I know I would have gone crazy by now holding that in!"

His friend shrugged. "Maybe I have!"

Additionally, here's a note I added when I typed out the above some years back (last modified in 2018, though it likely predates that):

Note--Turquoise's tale of the only female Trench Rat, and the ruined West Wing, remain in the current storyline in modified format. The female Trench Rat, who is unnamed here, goes by the name Anna Julian and in the current storyline she DID disappear mysteriously around the same time as the gas attack...but I decided that the story that Turquoise tells here is too ludicrous, hence, Julian's disappearance must have another meaning behind it. Seeing as Julian plays no part in the current story, I have yet to come up with this backstory. In the current story, there is ANOTHER female Trench Rat--Lyndsey Skye--who serves Burgundy as a nurse.

So as you can see, Julian's story, mostly intact and same as the original version, still existed as of the previous (circa 2000) version of The Trench Rats, but the outcome had yet to be resolved. This has only just started to happen but is still quite foggy, as I'm finding Anna Julian (who at some point acquired the rank of corporal) to be quite secretive. She's not pouring out her story to me like the others so far.

In the new version, there may still be a rape involved, though not at the hands of the Trench Rats, and possibly it's just an attempt. Maybe even it's staged as a ruse for her to first meet another new character, Liam Morgan (no rank yet). But let me back up a bit.

From what little I know so far--and this could still change--Cpl. Julian is at first uninvolved with the newly formed Trench Rats, but is stationed with the British just inside Germany (weird, I know, but my entire version of this war is weird); she often acts as a sort of liaison. Morgan takes notice of her somewhat meek, subdued nature, and gets the idea she might be rather impressionable. He also somehow learns that she harbors vague feelings that, while odious, are not that uncommon considering the time period. Namely, she's not that fond of Jews.

So already the sweet innocent early version of Anna Julian is no more.

Morgan makes a plan to recruit Julian for his own purposes. Why would he need to, you may ask?--he's a member of the British military, and they're already allies, right? Well...not ENTIRELY right. Because Morgan himself has been recruited, by the Waffen-SS. He's one of a handful of British soldiers who work for the Nazis.

(This here is VERY VERY VERY loosely based on a unit that actually existed, the British Free Corps--British POWs who fought for the Waffen-SS. Take note, however, that in my version, this includes not just infantry soldiers but apparently also spies. Morgan isn't wearing German insignia and fighting alongside the Germans in plain sight. He went back to the British but is working for the Nazis, undercover. So...a double agent? Maybe? Double agents confuse the hell out of me, suffice it to say he's British, but is spying for the Nazis, but is pretending to still work for the British.)

This may be where a staged assault attempt takes place, but I'm not sure. If it does, Morgan intervenes to "save" Julian and thus not just introduce himself, but create a favorable impression as a "hero." They slowly get to know each other, as she's not the trusting sort, yet his protective nature wins her over. (Yes, this version of Julian is quite weak willed. There's a reason I don't write many female characters, they used to always end up like this. But this is why Morgan targets her.) She doesn't just fall in love with him, she practically becomes his (mostly) willing slave. He's recruiting her for a purpose, but he thinks nothing of testing her to see just how much she's willing to take, and the answer is just about anything; even when she protests, he manages to convince her. So Anna Julian is basically putty in his hands and he successfully recruits her as a spy for the Waffen-SS, radicalizing her with ever more hateful and extreme thoughts. He convinces her to attempt to join and spy on the fledgling Trench Rats, whom the Nazis have realized are not actually Great War ghosts. The other British troops Morgan serves with have no idea about his actual alignment; they approve Julian's request to act as a liaison to the Americans, as the SS hopes that she'll be allowed to join their battalion and reveal its location to the Nazis.

It's a bit complicated, however. The Trench Rats are very secretive, and have a strict policy regarding revealing the location of their HQ. ONLY Trench Rats are allowed to know--and Julian isn't a Trench Rat. (One notable exception to this rule is French partisan Papillon, who notified his own people about the site--but he found this out on his own, while spying on the newcomers from above. He's the story's lone bat character, and this serves him well.) Doesn't matter even when she's granted permission to work alongside them--whenever she's transported to Trench Rats HQ, she needs to literally be blindfolded, have headphones put on, and placed in the back of a covered truck or a closed compartment on their transport canines. Seems extreme, yes, but considering the sensitive nature of the Rats' work--stealing Nazi documents in an effort to derail their massive medical experimentation project--they can't take chances. Julian finds herself frustrated.

Morgan decides it's time to amp up their effort, and tells Julian to attempt to seduce the corporal, Drake. She's reluctant--she's already involved with Morgan, plus, Drake is Jewish, which she finds odious--she has enough of a time just putting on a kind face around him--but Morgan wheedles her into it. The effort fails miserably--turns out Drake is much more interested in Papillon than in her. o_o; Oops. Julian dejectedly informs her handler. Morgan instructs her to target Camo, then: He's studied the file the Allgemeine-SS put together on Camo (as Capt. Himmel explains in the sequel story, they attempt to keep files on e-v-e-r-y-b-o-d-y), and thinks he's a better target anyway, being a widower who lost his wife and young daughter tragically (in an accident which also left him hooked on morphine) and has never remarried since. He's in pain, and grieving, and is likely lonely. Julian makes a move on him. It's a VERY gradual process, but this time around, it works.

Well...only sort of. Camo does fall for the romantic ruse...but he doesn't give up any intel. Julian's good at being subtle but Camo's even better at keeping secrets, and despite them getting close he doesn't tell her the location of headquarters. He does, however, put in a good word for her with the others at the British outpost, and they get in touch with Camo's superiors in the US and start discussing options to have Julian officially join the Trench Rats. Eventually she's approved...and of course, is given her own room at headquarters.

So in the end, no, Camo never cracks and gives up the secret to the enemy...but yes...he helps let the enemy right in the front door.

This whole time, Julian been reporting to the SS on her progress. Although she's working for the Waffen-SS, the intel she gathers goes through the Allgemeine-SS, who as I mentioned keep records on every-freaking-thing. They're also the ones in charge of that big Nazi medical experiment the Trench Rats are attempting to stop. This is Projekt Weltuntergang, or as the Allies know it, Project Doomsday. It's already responsible for the capture of at least two American soldiers: one from the initial group with Indigo, Silver, et al., since codenamed Doomsday or D-Day himself, and Teal Rat. (Though I believe Teal is one of this group, too.) In an immense stroke of bad luck, Teal was captured when D-Day was rescued. It's discovered that success of the serum used in the project depends on the subject having a particular very rare blood type mutation. D-Day has this mutation. Teal does not. Therefore, he won't be useful as a test subject. Therefore, he's more likely to be subjected to torture for information. So by now, the Trench Rats are worried that Teal could be the one to end up revealing the location of headquarters. They're right about the torture--Dr. Kammler, or "C" as the Allies know him, is incredibly pissed off to lose his most successful test subject, so he takes that out on Teal. They're right about the attempts to extract information. They're wrong about Teal being the one to reveal this info; wonder of wonders, he manages to hold out despite everything C throws at him. It's Anna Julian who reveals this information...Teal's just the poor guy who gets the blame.

There's an interesting development when Julian visits with the SS to give them information. She gets the chance to see project headquarters and another test subject named Kolten. Kolten is considered "blöd," or stupid/slow, yet has the right blood type, so is a perfect initial subject, along with a Jewish prisoner named Jakob Wolfstein. They both see Julian talking with members of the SS and saluting. Kolten, who busies himself drawing and building with blocks--he's very skilled at both, possessing a sort of eidetic memory--makes a sketch of Julian, and shows it to his father when he visits. His father soon after discovers that this woman is with the Trench Rats...apparently as a spy. She's close to their sergeant. And now she knows the location of headquarters, information she's already given to the SS, who plan to make use of it.

Kolten's father is SS, so this information really shouldn't be too surprising to him. The thing is, Kolten's father is Capt. Otto Himmel...who's been secretly working to destroy the project from the inside. Dr. Kammler is his brother-in-law, and he attempted to have Himmel murdered so he could gain custody of his disabled son for use in his experiment. Himmel survived with the aid of the Diamond Network, a resistance group; they advised him on how to get back at Kammler, though Himmel's sole motivation all along has been to protect Kolten--he even joined the SS in a twisted effort to keep Kolten safe from them, assuming (incorrectly) that they wouldn't target the family of a member. Himmel nonetheless has been using info the Network gave him to sabotage Kammler's experiment; he hasn't been successful at ruining the original serum, but he's prevented Kammler from being able to further adapt it, causing the project to stall and the SS to mull over cutting funding. (Ironically, Himmel is in charge of overseeing the project, meaning he reports on it to his boss, who reports to the SS bigwigs who determine if the project gets funded.) The loss of Doomsday is a serious blow, as he was the only test subject who could legitimately be considered a full success. Himmel has figured out that he can't do this on his own--the Trench Rats are his best hope for the project to be dismantled. Therefore, learning that one of them is actually a spy for the SS alarms him. He studies her file, and on another visit overhears her saying "useless eaters"--a Nazi term for disabled persons who are viewed as contributing nothing to society, therefore are best "euthanized"--or, more accurately, executed. Himmel knows this term applies to his own son. And hearing Julian say it, he knows exactly what sort of person she really is, and she can't be allowed to remain free and alive if Kolten is to be protected.

He has no way to alert the Trench Rats to what's to come, as he isn't involved in the Waffen-SS plan to attack Trench Rats Headquarters, doesn't know what form the attack will take, when it'll be, anything. All he can do is wait helplessly until news of it comes back to them. The attack is devastating--about a third of the Rats are killed and headquarters is badly damaged--but it's not completely incapacitating, as two of the five companies manage to fight off a ground attack while a third escapes harm completely--only the two companies led by Camo and Drake don't fare well, bearing the brunt of the casualties. The sergeant and corporal are captured, as well...along with Anna Julian, perfectly playing her role as one of them. The Allgemeine-SS wants to send a representative to question the captives; Himmel requests this and is approved. Therefore he's the one Camo, Drake, and Julian are brought before to be interrogated. Himmel isn't interested in interrogation, though. He paces back and forth in front of the three (the other SS members behind him murmuring about Drake's Star of David necklace and theorizing what sort of test subject he might make), aiming his gun at each in turn and offering a few threatening comments before stopping in front of Drake and pointing the gun at him. Drake shuts his eyes. Then Himmel abruptly swings the gun to the side and shoots Julian in the forehead.

Needless to say this isn't at all what anyone, even the other SS officers, expected. Drake jerks aside in surprise while Camo jumps to his feet and charges Himmel, only to be promptly knocked down and restrained by the other officers; Drake is struck in the head and knocked out when he attempts to see to Julian, and the two are carried away. Himmel is left needing to explain his own actions to the Waffen-SS. All he can say is he had reason to believe Julian was funneling information about the SS back to the Trench Rats--she wasn't, but she's a traitor to the Allies so who's to say she wasn't double-crossing the SS as well? He's on the verge of being harshly reprimanded--or worse--when his boss, Maj. Ludolf Jäger, pulls strings to defend him, insisting that he's always been honest and thinks things through and has no reason to lie now. (Jäger has no idea about any of Himmel's subversive activities.) If he suspected Julian was ratting (no pun intended) on the SS, then he must have had good reason, and the Allgemeine-SS backs him up. Liam Morgan and the Waffen-SS are angry but back off, and Himmel narrowly averts personal disaster. (Privately, though, Jäger laments him "losing his head" and meddling in Waffen-SS affairs, saying, "I much prefer you behind a desk, pushing papers like you're paid to do!")

Camo and Drake are transported to Project Doomsday headquarters where Dr. Kammler is all too eager to try out his serum on them although their blood types are wrong; Camo is quickly relegated to prisoner of war status (Sonderhäftling, a special detainee status which often--though sometimes not, as in Teal's case--leads to better treatment), while Drake disappears into the project as a test subject, which pretty much means torture. Anna Julian's death is quickly brushed off to avoid embarrassment or retribution, and the Trench Rats go on believing that Teal was in fact the source of the leak. Himmel, meanwhile, starts suffering nightmares and insomnia over the incident: He doesn't want to be a murderer, he's even managed to avoid being directly involved in the SS's constant mass killing (though given their scope, he can't help but be indirectly involved, through his knowledge of SS activities and his oversight of Project Doomsday); despite his previous service in the military he's become a sort of closet pacifist, and having to do what he did to Julian, no matter how necessary he deemed it (to prevent her contributing information for future killings), wears on his conscience. An additional detail only adds to his distress: He recognizes Camo beyond his position in the Trench Rats--they've met before. Years ago, aiming their guns at each other across no man's land. Both of them fought in the Great War and happened to briefly encounter each other, long enough for Camo to wonder over how young Himmel looked ("He was barely more than a kid," he tells Drake earlier in the story, which is true--Himmel entered the army underaged, at 14, so was around 17 when he and Camo met) before attempting to shoot him, a shell exploding nearby being the only thing to prevent this. Camo was knocked on his back into the trench and briefly incapacitated, giving Himmel the chance to shoot him, yet he again hesitated, and again Camo attempted to take a shot--only for his rifle to jam. Again leaving him wide open to be killed. Yet again, Himmel didn't take the shot, and instead left as Camo tried drawing his pistol; by the time he climbed out of the trench, Himmel was gone. Camo has since recognized Himmel as well, from a brief run-in they had with each other earlier in the story; he recognizes the "barely more than a kid" who refused to kill him not only once, not twice, but three times. ("No idea what his reason was (for not taking the shot)," he tells Drake.) And Himmel recognizes the American soldier he couldn't bring himself to shoot, even while Camo kept trying to shoot him. He read Camo's file as well. Himmel is also a widower who despite constant pressure from the SS has refused to get remarried, and in a way he also "lost" his child, when he was forced to place Kolten in an institution and wasn't allowed to visit him for years, then lost custody of him to Project Doomsday. He feels that he understands Camo a little, and hates having to be the one to wound him all over again. But if this is what it takes to keep Kolten safe, then it's what he had to do.

Himmel does manage to set a couple of things (somewhat) right. He ensures that Camo is able to escape custody, even though Camo has no idea he's involved. And although he can't do much to prevent their torture, he intervenes several times to make sure both Drake and Teal remain alive long enough to be rescued (although Teal ends up committing suicide afterwards). He and Dr. Kammler are captured at the same time as the rescue, and Teal turns on Kammler and kills him for the horrific abuse he suffered; Himmel shocks the Trench Rats by laughing at the murder. Drake and Teal are taken to the Trench Rats' medical ward, which is where Teal stabs himself in the neck, in full view of Drake, who has to reassure the rattled surgeon, Burgundy, that he won't attempt the same. Cpl. Gold Rat (Drake's successor) and LC Mahogany Rat take Teal's body and go in search of a place to bury him. While searching they meet an unknown party who always wears a gas mask and German-style uniform, though seems to be allied with the resistance; he seems distressed after learning the identity of the body, but signs for them to follow him as he leads them to a suitable burial place. After a long complicated trek the three arrive at a waterfall and dig a grave nearby. When Gold remarks on just how far they had to walk, the gas-masked party says in a muffled voice, "He found this waterfall." The two Rats are puzzled how the unknown party is familiar with Teal until he removes the gas mask. Gold still has no idea who he is, but Mahogany recognizes Camo from his personnel file photo. He was warned by the Diamond Network, after his escape, that returning to Trench Rats' Headquarters could make it even more of a target yet again, and since the Rats had a new sergeant, he might serve a better purpose helping the resistance, which is what he's been up to since then. Learning of the rescue and of how project headquarters was taken over, he decides it's time to drop the act and return to Trench Rats HQ.

The other Rats were stunned by the return of Teal and Drake, both of whom they'd assumed were dead; they're stunned all over again when Camo returns as well. Himmel is still in their custody, and Camo demands to see him; although not in great shape, Drake accompanies him, knowing exactly why he wants to meet him. Camo demands an answer from Himmel regarding why he shot Cpl. Julian; Himmel only responds that he doesn't believe Camo really wants the truth. Infuriated, Camo attempts to shoot him, but is stopped at the last minute by Drake, who knocks his hand aside when Himmel blurts out the phrase, "Eight burning lamps!" Drake explains that a guard at project headquarters had told him this phrase without explaining what it meant or who sent it; Himmel using it shows that he colluded with the guard to help Drake, and it's made clear he was involved in ensuring Camo's escape as well. When Camo again demands an answer--why would he help them, yet kill Julian?--Himmel promises to tell them everything, but only if they take him to meet Kolten, who was rescued by the Trench Rats earlier while being transported by the Nazis. No one understands the request, but Himmel refuses to speak another word, so they decide it can't hurt, and they take him to the farmhouse where Kolten has been staying with an older couple. Upon meeting, Kolten asks Himmel if he'll be returning to stay with Dr. Kammler, or "Doctor-Father," as he was trained to refer to him. Himmel replies no, Kammler is gone for good and the project is over. Kolten then asks if this means he'll be going with Himmel, or "Hauptsturmführer-Father," instead. Not only did the Trench Rats have no idea that Kolten is Himmel's son, but Himmel wasn't aware Kolten knew this, either--he's been institutionalized since he was a toddler, and Himmel was prevented from having contact with him for years; even after he was granted access to him again (by showing up in his new SS uniform and threatening to be let in), he never mentioned being Kolten's father, as the doctor had told him it could confuse Kolten. Despite being slow, however, Kolten really isn't stupid, and he's known exactly who Himmel is all this time: Himmel was the only person to consistently show him love. Himmel replies that Kolten can't come with him as he's not sure what will happen to him now, but he'll return to him if/when he can, and he loves him. They embrace and Himmel then goes with the Trench Rats without protest.

Keeping his word, Himmel tells the Trench Rats everything he knows about Project Doomsday and his role in it, including how he worked to sabotage it following his rescue by the Diamond Network. He tried what he could to keep Kammler's captives alive, and to aid Camo's escape. He's also been aiding Lt. Ratdog and PFC Godfrey Klemper, two members of the Wehrmacht, who have secretly turned against the Nazis themselves. Camo is even more confused--again, why would he do everything he can to help the Allies, at the risk of being considered a traitor, yet then execute Anna Julian? Himmel reluctantly replies that she wasn't who they thought she was, and lays out all the details, including Teal's insistence, to the very end, that although he did some other awful things to try to avoid further torture, he never gave away the location of headquarters. Camo finds all of this nearly impossible to believe, but Himmel sticks to his story even when subjected to a hasty military trial shortly following the war, and several others--including Wolfstein and even Drake--testify that they never saw him harm others, even that he was trying to help them. (Additionally, Wolfstein confirms Julian's visit to project headquarters.) His killing of Anna Julian is problematic--still technically an extrajudicial execution--but they take the extenuating circumstances into consideration, including the likely possibility that she would have contributed further info that would have led to more deaths, such as those of the rest of the Trench Rats, and Kammler's test subjects--Drake, Wolfstein, Teal, Kolten, and others. He's acquitted of committing any war crimes, though found guilty of belonging to a criminal organization (the SS) and is stripped of his military titles and honors. He's allowed to leave, free; he decides to go to Kolten, who's been staying with a civilian couple since being liberated by the Trench Rats previously. On his way out he stops by Camo, who's been watching the proceedings, and murmurs, "I know you cared about her. I'm sorry you had to find out this way," and departs.

Camo and Himmel have a bit more of a story after this, though it takes Camo a while to work through his anger and guilt over the role he inadvertently played in the attack on HQ, and Himmel deals with some ghosts of his own. Anna Julian exits the storyline relatively early--toward the end of the first main story--but casts a long shadow behind her.

[Anna Julian 2022 [‎Friday, ‎August ‎12, ‎2022, ‏‎4:00:09 AM]]

[Anna Julian 2022 2 [‎Friday, ‎August ‎12, ‎2022, ‏‎4:00:19 AM]]

[Anna Julian 2022 3 [‎Friday, ‎August ‎12, ‎2022, ‏‎4:00:29 AM]]

[Anna Julian 2022 4 [‎Friday, ‎August ‎12, ‎2022, ‏‎4:00:38 AM]]