#might have to sleep early today (like-- 6 am... i say its early cuz i usually slept at 8-10 am now)

[aria0fgold]

Brain has enough power to supply me with Château trio thoughts, mainly their battle style and post-story stuff.

I like to think that before Joséphandre went on that journey, his battle style being a self-sustaining tank was more for the fact that he's just really reckless, his hometown feels more to the peaceful side of things so there wasn't much of a dangerous threat there. But going on that journey made him realize that there's far more dangerous stuff to encounter that a strong defense isn't enough anymore so he had to focus on improving his fighting too and not just on his defense. There are people he needs to protect, both within the party and outside it, so if there are such threats that fighting is the only option left, then he needs to improve on that and make sure he can fight back as well as he can defend.

Pierre-Jacques-Erneste pre-betrayal's battle style is more focused on his own survival, and he never really care much about the party during then so he never bothered improving on anything that can be helpful for everyone. Though his debuffs seem helpful to the party, but the main reasoning behind that is for it to be helpful to him only, it's for the sake of his survival in a world that never seemed to have a place for him. After betrayal and when he returns to the party, I like to think that he'd switch his battle style a lil bit. He doesn't have to worry bout the Stuff anymore, he has a place he can belong to now, and he wants to protect that place. So his battle style will have a small change, he'll still be the debuffer but he'll also be buffing everyone's speed now too, he'll always switch from dagger to sword, a weapon he's more skilled in.

Lady Irene-Janine-Karine's battle style also developed similarly to Pierre, in that it's for her own survival too. Though she took on a more direct approach to it, developing a battle style heavily based on offense. Her defense based skills being only helpful to her only at the beginning speaks volumes bout how she had to keep herself safe most of the time, especially with her direct approach with Stuff. But after getting closer to the party, she decides to improve on some of her skills to be able to accomodate the others as well and not just herself. Since she isn't alone anymore, there are people willing to protect her so she gotta protect them too.

Post-story stuff and the trio's battle style seemingly turns into a mixture of one another's, like a subtle sign that they care about each other so much their battle style was woven into each other's own style. Joséphandre teaching Lady Irene and Pierre about defenses and healing, Pierre teaching Joséphandre and Lady Irene about debuffs and speed, Lady Irene teaching Joséphandre and Pierre about offenses and buffs. Even outside of the context of battle spells, they train each other bout skills that the other lacks and wants to develop more of.

You can see the way Joséphandre moves his feet and the way Pierre moves his arms after not using the sword for a long while that they both picked that up on Lady Irene. You can see the way Lady Irene and Pierre moves their bodies to dodge and defend like how Joséphandre taught them. You can see the way Joséphandre and Lady Irene move swiftly, effectively, without so much as wasting a single step, just as how they learned from Pierre. You can see just how close they are with one another in the way their movements are a reflection of each others'.

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Comparing RWBY and YGO DM: The Handling and Evolution of Themes

Hey! Its been a hot minute since I last posted anything RWBY-related but Im laying in my bed right now and Im sick and bored so I guess we're doing this. Today I will do my best to analyze what I percieve to be the main themes and messages of both of these shows, or more specifically, how theyre handled narratively. Im mostly focusing on that part because, while these series do have similar themes and messaging, they are still a few things in which they are wildly different. And with that, lets start with this essay-post-thing!

1. Theres something we need to adress first

Okay so, before we can really talk about this, theres something I feel the need to clarify here: Neither of these stories was "planned from the beginning".

Now, I dont think a story being planned from the beginning or not nesscessarily makes the story any better or worse by default, however, it is still important to acknowledge because the way the story is planned is going to affect every facet of it. Things are not going to be foreshadowed properly, things are gonna be set up only for nothing to come of it, the story might drastically change directions, characters might act differently, etc, etc.

And, this is bit off-topic but, it's much better to just admit that the story was not planned than trying to pretend that it was. Like, there are a lot of reasons why I tend to be so forgiving towards YGO even though its not very good, but one of them is definitely the fact that, as far as Im aware atleast, the guy who wrote it isnt pretending to have had this big master plan all along and neither is the fandom. With RWBY on the other hand... yeaaaah, its kinda the opposite. From what Ive seen of RWBYs fandom, there seems to be this pretty popular narrative that everything was planned even though it clearly wasnt. Thats pretty bad and honestly lowers my opinion of the writers so much more than if they would just admit to not having a proper plan.

Like, I initially consumed YGO like this: Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Monsters, Yu-Gi-Oh (aka Season 0), like, a quarter of the Yu-Gi-Oh manga (I still havent finished it)

In all three of these we have the character of Yami Yuugi, or just Yami. Broadly speaking, he is an ancient egyptian gamer spirit who lives in a magical puzzle that has not been solved for 3000 years until this highschooler named Yuugi Mutou comes along and solves it, thus setting him free and allowing him to possess Yuugi and have access to the vague magical powers of the puzzle.

In Duel Monsters he's perfectly fine most of time, morally speaking. There is an instance of him almost murdering a guy and its a bit unclear what exactly happens to those he mindcrushes but overall he's very much a pretty good guy. In Season 0 most of what he does is set up these games for bad people, where they will go insane no matter what they do. From how I understand this whole Shadow Game, Penalty Game stuff, if you lose a Shadow Game, you get violent and intense hallucinations and you will always cuz yknow, gamer spirit. But if you try to cheat, which most of the bad people do in this show, you get violent and intense hallucinations as a punishment.

Since the two anime are generally considered two different continuities, its perfectly fine that Yamis characterization is wildly different in both of them. But in the manga both of these characterizations appear, basically one after the other with no real arc or consequences, for that matter. Why is that? Simply put, someone thought it was a good idea to try to turn an episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror manga into a more traditional, more plot-driven battle shounen. From what Ive heard, it was apparently largely because of network interference or something, but the point is, it changed directions incredibly drastically with little planning and everyone knows this and I can understand that for the most part.

In RWBY we have the character of Blake Belladonna, who, in the first 3 volumes/seasons atleast, was this aloof, more toned down loner-type character with a pretty strong sense of justice. She's an in-universe marginilized racial minority and she clearly cares about racial injustice. The way its initially framed makes it seem like she had a very hard life and no stable support system, which is what eventually pushed her to join a Civil Rights group/Terrorist organization (good god, the Faunus subplot is so awful, I could write a whole essay about it but Im already de-railing rn so I'll just save that for later).

Then, in volumes 4-5 it turns out her father is actually like, the mayor or chief of this island-place called Menagerie and she grew up in this big mansion with multiple guards/servants. Oh and also, apparently "space is a commodity" on there, so theres that. She still retains large parts of her personality but she's kinda like, worse somehow I think. I cant really describe it in a meaningful way but I hope you get what Im saying anyway. Then in Volume 6 she confronted her emotional abuser Adam (sorry for not mentioning him sooner but yeah, he was like, her abusive boyfriend, which is something that a lot of people disagree with but I wont really say anything about it either way because I dont really feel any specific way) with her friend, Yang, and ended up killing him.

After all that, she pretty much lost the rest of her personality, as well as her arc about all the Faunus stuff. She just kinda became the meek, generically nice, recovering abuse victim. Why? Well, the actual reason is that they didnt plan out shit and are just kinda flying by the seat of their oversized clown-pants and if they and the fandom just admitted it, I would have less of an issue. I still wouldnt be as forgiving towards RWBY as I am towards YGO because the crux of the issue, for me, is just that I dont particulary like RWBY but also like. Do you really expect me to take MKEK seriously as writers after admitting to not have a timeline because iT wOuLd CaUsE pLoThOlEs?

However, since they want us to believe that everything was planned out from the beginning, the explaination would be.... Idk, they deliberately butchered one of their main characters?? Because.. they hate her?? Maybe????

So yeah, that was quite a detour however, I would like you to keep this mind going forward.

2. Themes of the Early Series'

First, what do mean by 'Early Series' for both of these shows respectively? Well, for YGO that would have to be Season 0 or if youre reading the manga, everything pre-Duelist Kingdom. Basically, the part of the series thats a episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror series.

For RWBY that would be the first three Volumes, also known as the Poser-Era. Back then it was just kinda an action series that took place at Anime Warrior Academy (also known as Beacon) with some pretty bare minimum worldbuilding, character-driven plots and developments but now its more of an epic high-fantasy story with more of an emphasis on plot as opposed to just action.

The themes and messages in Early YGO are kinda vague, very confusing to me and if you were to follow any of it literally that would be pretty bad. For now Im just gonna say the main themes are Friendship and Identity and mostly focus on the Identity aspect.

Now, it took me a little while to figure out RWBYs deal but I think the main themes for Volumes 1-3 are also Friendship and Heroism. Once again, I'll mostly focus on Heroism and touch on Friendship more briefly later.

I dont have much more to add to YGOs themes right now, so I'll briefly go over Heroism in RWBY.

In RWBYs setting there are these man-eating monsters called Grimm that have basically infected the planet. In order to deal with that, they have people called huntsmen and huntresses that kill them and protect people. Theyre trained at special academies like Beacon and go on missions there and stuff like that. Our four main characters, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Yang, are training to become huntresses and one day they go on this mission to clean up a grimm infested city block with one of their teachers. Obviously, that takes a long time so they have to camp out in one of the empty houses. Weiss, Blake and Yang cant sleep because theyve been thinking about this question that their teacher asked them when they were fighting grimm: "Why do you want to become a huntress?"

They have a heart to heart and we find out about their motivations; Weiss wants to bring honour back to her family, Blake want to distance herself from the White Fang (that terrorist organization I mentioned earlier) and as an extension from Adam, Yang wants to have a life of adventure. They also talk about why Ruby wants to be a huntress and it turns out that she judt wants to help people. Unlike the others, she has no motivation besides that. We're meant to listen to that and look at her as a sort-of personification of Heroism: kind, but not naive, strong and most of all, selfless. The others on her team are not portayed as bad for not being like Ruby by any means but we are clearly meant to admire her the most out of all of them.

Okay, now comes the part Ive been looking forward to the most:

3. How did these themes evolve in the Modern Series'?

Alright, before we can really delve into the way they evolved in YGO I'll have to give you a brief summary of the character progression. At the start of DM, during the Duelist Kingdom arc, Yami Yuugi is just that; A darker Yuugi. Hes more confident, bolder, his voice is deeper, hes somehow taller, more ruthless, all that good stuff. Notably, he doesnt actually seem more skilled than Yuugi even at the start of this story, but he's still dependent on Yami. Yami on the other hand, has no identity of his own or even hints at one at this point. He's just The Other Yuugi.

Then during the Battle City arc, they find out that Yami was actually a pharao prior to being sealed in the puzzle, he just didnt know because of amnesia, I guess. So now they need to find out his real name and then send him to the afterlife because hes meant to be dead, but not before saving the world from being swallowed by darkness, which is also a thing they have to do now.

Then we finally get to the Memory World arc, where Yami, Yuugi and the rest of the gang astralproject to ancient egypt via puzzle magic. Yami is trying to figure out what the hell is going on and who all these familiar people are, while Yuugi & Co are trying their best to help him. Then some weird shit happens and it turns out that all of that is not just Yamis sealed away memories, but also a giant D&D Shadow Game that will destroy the world if Yami loses. So now theres Pharao!Yami who is still clueless on the metaphorical and literal playing field and Player!Yami, who is kinda controlling himself now? I guess?? Yamis opponent, The Spirit of The Ring, has something similar to that going on where hes both controlling and properly participating in the game. So Player!Yami is now fighting against Player!TSoTR, Pharao!Yami is now fighting against Thief King Bakura (who is like, the human, ancient egyptian version of the Ring Spirit) and Yuugi is now fighting against Yami Bakura (who is like, the human, modern japanese version of the Ring Spirit). Yuugi gets Yamis real name, he and the gang go over to Pharao!Yami and tell him his name, meanwhile Player!Yami is also somehow helping as well and they defeat the Ring Spirit, thus saving the world. Then they travel to modern Egypt, the Ceremonial Duel happens and Yuugi wins, sending Yami to the Afterlife where he can finally rest and that was the series!

I originally wanted to recount the stuff that was going on with the Ring Spirit and his host as well because they parallel eachother, but this summary is already far too long and I think youll get the point without me needing to explain any more.

My point here is, that the story went from being vaguely about Identity, maybe? to being very clearly about Self-Discovery and Learning to Be Independent. I think this is a very good way to evolve the messaging of your story. How does RWBY track on that?

Well, uh... its not great. I will acknowledge that they have tried to introduce new themes and ideas since, even though I wont really be talking about them in this post. But yeah, the whole Heroism thing really regressed.

Like, I didnt explicitly say it when I was explaining grimm earlier, but theyre not going away. The grimm have always been there and people who sign up to become huntsmen and huntresses are effectively signing up for a job that will never truly be done, no matter what they do. Characters like Ruby and even more minor ones like Phyrrah have shown us that that doesnt matter when youre a hero. No life isnt worth saving, no grimm isnt worth killing, no criminal isnt worth arresting. Then, in volume 6 they find out about Salem. Salem is the Big Bad of the show, shes immortal, controls the grimm and is supposed to be very powerful.

What do our heroes do? They give up. Sike! They were just mindcontrolled by monsters or some shit, of course they didnt give up their mission (which is to bring an Important Macguffin to a city called Atlas, sorry I didnt mention it)!

But then they arrive in Atlas (which is llike, a city thats floating over another city called Mantle) and yknow, they do some plot stuff thats not really important right now until the city gets invaded by Salem and this big grimm army she has.

What do our heroes do? Well, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and some side characters are chilling, drinking tea in a mansion and Yang and the B Team were actually trying to do something, but even those efforts seem incredibly minimal.

Oh wait, I also forgot to mention that Ironwood (a fairly minor, vaguely antagonistic character up until now) wanted to lift Atlas even higher to save Atleasian civilians from danger while leaving Mantle vulnerable to Salems invasion.

What would be the most heroic thing to do?

A) Let Ironwood lift Atlas, get as much support as they can down to Mantle and save as many Mantle civilians as they can from the invasion

B) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas but then split up in order to protect both Atlas and Mantle civilians

C) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas and then dont do anything else

Congrats! If you choose C, you think exactly like the writers!

And I just

This is so mindboggling to me, I feel like I shouldnt even have explain how this is bad. And like, it wouldve been so easy to actually make them seem herokc through their actions, to make it seem like they did try but no.

I have never seen a central theme be this botched, how in the world did they do that? Why did they think it was a good idea for Ruby "The Embodiment of Heroism" Rose to sit in a mansion doing nothing, no planning, no organizing just ..... God, how are they this bad? Like, this doesnt even have anything to do with it being planned in any way, this is just straight up incompetence

4. Very briefly touching on friendship

The friendship is awful and its not solely because they all have the same opinions. They barely interact with eachother outside their designated pairs which leads to it all feeling incredibly hollow. Theyre also practically indistingushable from one another now, which is a shame because it wasnt always like that. Like, I dont think the characters were that well-developed in earlier volumes but they were very well-characterized. But now we've gotten to a point where you can literally copy and paste one characters dialogue onto another and literally nothing changes, it really sucks.

5. Some closing words

Damn, this took way longer than I thought it would and now Im pretty exhausted. I have no idea how yall always write these but props to you! I feel like this ended up a bit rambly but overall, Im pretty proud.

Please let me know what you think of the points I brought up! Id also really appreciate some tips on how to get better at these longer posts because I am planning on writing more in the future (not the near future, probably but yknow).

Thats all I have to say for now, thanks for reading!

[deku-leaf]

early risers - part 1 - “that was intense” kageyama tobio x reader

summary: kageyama goes to the gymnasium earlier in the morning than usual to warm up and catches sight of an unfamiliar girl (you) doing yoga by herself. he might go a little out of his way to make sure he arrives early again the next day. and maybe the next.

author’s note: my first haikyuu fic! i def ship kagehina but i’ve only ever written x reader fics soooo here’s this, i’m having a lot of fun writing this so far

warnings: tobio kinda toes the line of stalking in this but it’s just cuz he’s so awkward. oh and swearing

word count: 2,521

-

Your muscles ache. You deepen your lunge, taking a long breath in and out. Damn, you’re sore this morning. Straightening your legs, you make a mental note that the uphill run you did yesterday afternoon really targeted your glutes, and you should run that route more often. You take another deep breath and lower your torso down to let your arms hang between your widened legs, enjoying the feeling of blood flowing to your head. Your fingertips touch the ground gently, flirting with the yoga mat below you. You stay like this for a while, breathing.

You’ve been coming to the school’s gym early each morning to do yoga before class for a few weeks now, and it’s been amazing. Your older sister is a third year and captain of the high school girl’s volleyball team, and she lends you the keys to the gymnasium each morning, as long as you get them back to her by lunchtime. So even though you’re only a first year, and you’re not involved in any school sports clubs, you can still enjoy the space. There’s something electric about the air in here, as if the school sports teams and gym classes leave their energy behind when they head out for the day. You’re more than happy to soak up the energy they left behind each morning. 

A small clanking noise near the door interrupts the peaceful silence, and you straighten up quickly. You blink away some floaters in your vision as the blood rushes out of your head from the sudden movement. You glance around, still alone. Picking up your phone, you see that it’s only 6:45 - the boys’ volleyball team isn’t set to arrive until 7:15. Typically you’re out of here by 7, but that clank noise has thrown you off, so you pack up your things quickly. After rolling up your yoga mat, shrugging on your jacket, and shouldering your backpack, you step out into the cool air and lock the gym doors behind you. You sigh as you trudge towards the main school building, eyeing the sunrise on the horizon and mentally preparing for class.

-

Kageyama approaches the gymnasium with bleary eyes and a foggy brain. He checks his phone’s clock - it’s 6:40 am. Over a half hour earlier than he usually gets to school for practice. He had asked Daichi yesterday if they could possibly start their morning practices earlier than usual in preparation for nationals. In response, Daichi had tossed him the keys to the gym, saying, “Get there as early as you want - I’m not enforcing anything for the rest of the team though. Sleep is important. Don’t overexert yourself.” Kageyama nodded to his captain aggressively. Half an hour early seemed reasonable to him. If anything, he could start setting up the net and balls to save time for the rest of the team, and get a head start on his warm ups. He invited Hinata to meet him there early, as well, to practice tosses.

But there’s no sign of Hinata yet. As Kageyama approaches the gym doors, yawning, he fumbles in his pockets for the keys Daichi lent him. He pulls them out, but stops. The lights in the gym are already on. He sees movement through the window, and looks closer, the keys hovering in front of the door handle.

There’s a girl inside, all by herself. She’s off to one side of the gym, bent over at the waist with her arms dangling strangely below her. Her unusual stance makes more sense when Kageyama realizes she’s standing on a yoga mat. He blinks, watching her, waiting for her next move. But she just hangs there. She’s technically facing away from him, but with her head hanging down between her legs he can just make out her face. She looks serene, completely at peace. Kageyama finds his eyes wandering a bit, noticing her athletic gear and strong looking body. Was she on the girls’ volleyball team? Basketball? He’s not sure if he has never seen her before, but she looks so completely at home in that gymnasium, like she’s meant to be there, and he feels like he’s intruding, which he’s never felt when it comes to the gym, and - 

“Ey, Kageyama!” Hinata’s too-bright voice calls to him from the bike racks and Kageyama promptly drops the gym keys. They clatter very loudly at his feet. His eyes widen as the girl inside jerks upright and turns toward the door, looking dazed. Kageyama ducks, swipes the keys from the ground, and quietly jogs around the corner, his heart pounding in his chest as he retreats. He feels an exhilaration not unlike the feeling of being chased during a game of tag as a kid. His throat is still tight with anxious energy as he approaches Hinata at the bike racks, greeting him as normally as he can manage. While Hinata cheerfully expresses his excitement for their early practices, Kageyama’s eyes wander to the gym doors being opened. The girl locks the doors behind her and turns to leave, absentmindedly running a hair through her hair. She continues towards the school, not even glancing in their direction. 

“Who was that person?” Hinata asks thoughtfully, starting towards the gymnasium. 

“I have no clue,” Kageyama answers. But I think I’d like to find out.

—

The next morning, Kageyama finds himself leaving his house even earlier than yesterday, a persistent curiosity in the back of his mind pulling him out of bed before his alarm. He just wants to see if the girl is there again today, or if it was a one time thing, he tells himself. Maybe if she’s there again, he’ll strike up a conversation and find out what sports she plays. Kageyama could afford to expand his social group outside of the volleyball team, but he doesn’t feel like he has anything in common with his classmates. Plus pretty much everyone he’s met at school is loud and extroverted, which Kageyama certainly is not. But maybe this girl, who seemed not only athletic but also content with her own silent presence, who had an aura of calm energy - maybe she would understand his quiet mind.

He shakes the soft thought out of his head as he approaches the school gates. What is he thinking? Why is he idealizing this person he’s never even spoken to? He doesn’t even know her name. There’s a tug in his stomach at the thought of learning her name. Saying it casually in conversation, calling it out to her in greeting when they pass in the hallway, texting her and seeing her name pop up on his phone. 

Man, was he lonely or something? How could that be when he has an entire team to hang out with constantly? Maybe it’s the fact that the whole team has friends outside of volleyball that bothers him. Especially Hinata. Hinata can make friends with everyone. He’s constantly being approached by his acquaintances from other classes - even from other schools. How does he do it? It feels strange for Kageyama to care about that, but he does care. He may be introverted, but he’s still human. 

Kageyama is suddenly at the door of the gymnasium again. And the lights are on again.

He glances at his phone - 6:32 am. 

He peers through the window.

--

You are so revved up this morning. You had started with yoga when you arrived at the school gymnasium, like usual, but today you felt like you needed a little something more. You wanted to get your heart rate up a bit, and let off some steam. You ended up rolling up the yoga mat, pulling your sneakers back on, and fishing a jump rope out of the supply closet. 

You’re not even sure how long you’ve been jumping rope now, but you feel amazing. You’ve always been pretty good at jump rope, always getting gold in your school physical fitness tests growing up. It reminds you of being a kid. 

Okay, you’ve been going pretty fast for a while now. Your breath is starting to become a bit more strained, and sweat is gathering on your forehead and upper lip. You take your body’s reactions as a signal to go faster, to push harder. Your toes are hardly lifting off the ground with each hop, your wrists barely twitching to swing the rope at top speed with minimum effort. You force yourself to breathe as deeply as you can even with your body moving this fast. Your eyes had been narrowed on the opposite wall until now, when you lower your head in concentration, sweat dripping onto the floor from the tip of your nose as you start to jump even faster. 

A primal emotion deep in your stomach stirs. Something about pushing your body to its physical limit makes you feel more alive than anything else can. It’s strange, because you were never attracted to sports teams growing up, and hated gym class more than anything. The thrill you get from exercise is indescribable - but it’s always been something you’ve preferred to do alone, with nobody watching. You prefer to run in quiet neighborhoods, you’ve never signed up for a gym membership, and you’ve never taken a real yoga class before. Working out has always been something private for you, even now, in this gym.

Oh, shit. You’re still jump-roping at full speed. Your brain is yanked back to reality and your head snaps back up. You release the rope thoughtlessly in your dazed state and one of the plastic handles whips around to smack you in the shin. You wince as you double over, resting your hands on your knees and taking in big gulps of air. You swipe the back of your hand across your forehead to clear some of the sweat. Damn, how long were you jumping?

“That was intense.”

You straighten immediately at the sound of an unfamiliar voice, still trying to catch your breath. There’s a tall dude in a black tracksuit standing just inside the door, with keys in hand. You let your guard down immediately when you see that he’s a student, and continue to pant unashamedly. You wave your hand in front of you dismissively, resting your other hand on your hip. 

“That was...nothing. You...saw nothing,” you manage between heavy breaths, feeling totally exposed in this state. Your eyebrows furrow at your own physical struggle and your eyes fall to the floor as you attempt to get a hold of yourself. “Jesus…I must’ve been going...for a while.” 

“It was like 10 minutes,” the guy says. You look up at him again and there’s a slight blush on his cheeks. You’re totally making him uncomfortable with your sweating and panting. How were you oblivious of his presence for 10 whole minutes?

“How was I oblivious of your presence for 10 whole minutes?” He makes a strange face — guilt? No, probably embarrassment — before you continue. “I’m so sorry. You have practice and I’m intruding, I’ve probably been here way too long-“ 

“No,” he interrupts, his eyes widening. “I’m- I’m early. Practice doesn’t start for another half hour. I’m the one who’s intruding on you. I’m sorry.” 

You purse your lips and look at the wall clock. He’s right, it’s only about 6:45. “Huh,” you say. You shift your weight, suddenly uncomfortable. Reality is finally sinking in now that you’re getting enough oxygen to your brain. This dude just walked in on you aggressively jump roping like some angry toddler. You don’t like when anyone sees you like that - let alone a guy your age who goes to your school that you will probably run into again in the hallways. Every time he sees you he’ll picture that girl who’s all sweaty, jumping up and down by herself in a corner. It’s your turn to blush.

The guy hasn’t said anything else, and you’re getting more embarrassed by the second, so you turn and start collecting your things quickly. “Well, I better rinse off in the showers before class now that I’ve overdone it anyways,” you say, walking past him with all your stuff in your arms, not even bothering to put your jacket on. “Gym’s all yours - have fun,” you say over your shoulder as you exit. 

You take care not to trip on the sidewalk outside. You can’t really see where you’re stepping on account of the pile of things you decided to carry. Instead of, you know, putting it all in your backpack like a normal person.

“Wait,” you hear from behind you. You turn, looking up at the dude who walked in on you. He’s standing in the open doorway of the gym, facing you. He’s still blushing. “What’s your name?” He asks.

He probably wants to know so he can tell all his volleyball buddies to avoid you. But his eyes look incredibly innocent. You get the impression that this guy isn’t capable of having ulterior motives of any kind. Maybe he’s just being polite. 

“Y/N,” you say, managing to smile. “What’s yours?” 

“Kageyama,” he says, not smiling back but wearing a pleasant enough expression. 

“Well, I’ll see you around, Kageyama.” You wave and turn, ready to wash this sweat (and his intense gaze) off of you.

—

So much for striking up a conversation.

Kageyama mentally kicks himself as he re-enters the gym. Why couldn’t he speak normally? Why’d he have to be so creepy and silent and scare you off? He groans and leans his back against the wall, sliding down and burying his face in his hands. He had stood outside the door for most of that ten minutes, contemplating whether or not to enter. He should’ve walked away the second he saw you inside. But he couldn’t help it. You were concentrating so hard, your nose scrunched up, your head lowered, your legs and arms working overtime to maintain your remarkable pace. The rope was a blur around you. You were jumping so rapidly you almost appeared to be floating just slightly over the gym floor. Kageyama must have been hypnotized. That’s why he couldn’t bring himself to speak up when he finally did enter the room. He could only stand and bear witness to your private display of athleticism.

That was it - private. It had seemed so private and Kageyama completely ruined it. And then he went and blurted out that he was watching her for ten whole minutes. He was an idiot for thinking he could talk to her without making it weird.

At least he got her name, even though she probably despises him now. Y/N. He lifts his head slowly, feeling defeated. He eyes the abandoned jump rope laying just a few feet away. He sighs, rising to go put it away. But something else on the floor catches his eye, around where Y/N had piled up her stuff. A small, shiny mound.

A ring of keys.

-

part 2 coming eventually, hmu if you want on the tag list, thx for reading :*

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 - Hajime Sakura Epilogue

First post of the month.... so I’ll start by asking you to please support me if you can either on ko-fi, donations through paypal or on patreon for early access to my stuff and blog translations or just to support me. check out my lookout list if you own any hakuoki cds since im missing the audio for those on that list... removed more items thanks to downloading all sorts of stuff from assorted sources lol. Also check out my Stuff I have list if you’re interested in looking for Hakuoki content to translate.

*sigh* fuck it lol. i desire Saito stuff so i ended up translating this....ssl is going to drive me insane lol.....  *insert pitiful laughter here.*

anyway, in Yuugiroku 2 there are 2 『桜下恋語り』 stories per char.. and this is the 『 恋染めし日』 one for Hajime since it’s post-zuisouroku (i’ll refer to the other one by the character’s surname if I ever get to it though I kinda doubt it since I only have text translations for Harada’s epilogue for that... and well, i’m not interested in pulling text off videos. never again unless its for an otomate party drama... or saito stuff from when ginsei no shou is released lol). I’m now going to call these ‘sakura epilogues’ due to how these are all post main-game... and cuz i’ve already associated ‘scenario’ with the kyoka-roku rain stuff. Also, unless someone else translates whatever this is actually called (i don’t feel like googling mtling it), I’m going to do whatever (tho i will ask you why you aren’t translating hakuoki content if you aren’t already should you do so! :P) lol.

i should probably mention that there are actually few more lines after where i have “the end” if you view this story via the filling up the sakura meter method which basically amounts to to the whichever char’s epilogue you are unlocking asking if you want to continue, and then commenting a bit more if you select ‘no.’ Since I don’t have anything to translate for that though... this translation is just what you see if you view the scene via the unlocked cg menu.  

do not repost elsewhere. all images used in this are my screenshots from the game. also, Chizuru does not have a surname provided during this portion of the game. 

This will not be edited further since I made a video for this though I did add in that last line I missed.

Enjoy <3!

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 - Hajime Sakura Epilogue

Translation by KumoriYami

——On a warm and sunny day in spring.

Tonami, which had been completely covered in snow during the winter, was finally welcoming spring with its vibrant [says: scarlet] blooming sakura.

Hajime-san and I were chatting as we stood under the shade of a tree, and after resting for a while, we looked towards the gorgeous blooming pink blossoms [says clouds/sunrise/sunset].

Chizuru:.......Tonami's sakura, they've finally started blooming.

Saito Hajime: Nn. Compared to Kyoto and Edo, the sakura here can be considered late.

Saito Hajime: Furthermore, although the sakura are now blooming, snow can still be seen in the surrounding mountains, which would be completely unthinkable in either Kyoto or Edo.

Chizuru: That's because we're very far north of Edo.......

As far as the eye could see, it seemed as if everywhere was welcoming the arrival of spring, [and] the sight of blooming sakura filled our sight.

At first glance, although the snow seemed to have melted away......

But in fact, there were many places where the sun hadn't been able to reach.

Chizuru: It appears, that it will take a while for all the snow to melt.

Saito Hajime:......Yes, though it is possible that it might snow again.

Saito Hajime: Chizuru, Even...... even if there's still snow, shall we go watch the sakura?

Saito Hajime: I have really been looking forward to enjoying the snow sakura today with you.

The corners of Hajime-san's lips were slightly lifted, and he was faintly smiling. 

Hearing Hajime-san's words, I just couldn't help but remember something and as the words caught in my throat, I wondered if I should tell him. 

Chizuru: That....... That, Hajime-san, I actually already saw the snow sakura........

Saito Hajime: What.......?

Chizuru: Actually....... last night, I woke up by chance and went outside, and ended up seeing some snowflakes falling. 

Chizuru: I originally thought they were only sakura petals, but they were colder to the touch than I thought.

Chizuru: Hajime-san?

Seeing Hajime-san suddenly become silent, I carefully asked him.

As Hajime-san revealed an expression that resembled that of an abandoned puppy, he spoke in a quiet voice to himself.

Saito Hajime: Why didn't you tell me? I also wanted to enjoy the snow sakura together with you......

Chizuru: B-but it was midnight then......!

Chizuru: Because I saw Hajime-san sleeping so soundly, I didn't have the heart to wake you then......

I shook my head in a hurry, explaining why I hadn't woken him.

Hajime-san however didn't seem satisfied with my explanation, and still remained silent without saying a word.

Saito Hajime: […………]

Chizuru: Then....... Hajime-san, are you still upset?

Saito Hajime:.......I'm not upset. Only, if you don't wake me up, it's not possible for us to watch them together.......

Chizuru: I, I'm very sorry......

The tone of his voice made my heart ache, and I could not help but look away.

As Hajime-san raised his head and looked up towards the clear blue sky, a sigh escaped his lips.

Saito Hajime:......I, perhaps I am more wilful than I thought.

Saito Hajime: The first snowfall, the first sakura, and the first of the snow sakura…… I want to see everything together with you.

Hearing Hajime-san whisper to himself, I felt a sharp pain in my chest.

Although what happened was an accident, knowing that I had seen the snow sakura by myself, however made me feel ashamed.

Chizuru: Truly...... I'm very sorry.

Saito Hajime: No, I'm not upset, you don't need to apologize.

Saito Hajime: It's just...... sometimes, I feel a bit uneasy. My love and your love, are both sides equal?

Saito Hajime: Or is it, that I am only wishfully thinking about my feelings towards you—— [rephrase later?]

Chizuru:......It's not like that.

Seeing the flash of emotions in Hajime-san's eyes, I shook my head.

Chizuru: It would be better to say, that I loved Hajime-san more——

If Hajime-san felt uneasy, then it was my responsibility to dispel such emotions.

I quietly approached him, in order to silently convey these feelings of mine.

Saito Hajime: ……Chi-Chizuru……

The petals of the sakura that blossomed early rose from their branches in the wind, drifting gently, and fell slowly after brushing my cheek. [reword later]

I snuggled and nestled up to Hajime-san while embracing him, and as I held him tightly, I spoke.

Chizuru: I think, my love for Hajime-san, it will not be outdone by your love.

Saito Hajime: What……?

Chizuru: My love for Hajime-san, surely, it must be the deepest in the world.

Chizuru:......In this aspect, I will absolutely not be outdone by(/lose to) Hajime-san.

Saito Hajime:......What nonsense are you saying, I will not be outdone by you.

Suddenly, Hajime-san's words regained their former tenderness.

In order to convey these strong emotion, I pulled him into a tight embrace.

With the ridiculous idea that whoever let go first would lose, we hugged each other for a long time.

——Eventually, the two of us separated from each other at the same time.

The moment we parted, we found ourselves blushing because of what happened just now.

Chizuru: So-sorry, Hajime-san. I can't believe I did that sort of thing......

Saito Hajime: Although you've said that...... I am the same as you.

Saito Hajime: An, anyway, [since] there's nothing to do now, shall we return home?

After that, I followed Hajime-san who was sakura-red in the face as we began walking home.  

——END——

*happy sigh*

due to my bias, this is probably one of my favourite translations... i kinda like how uncertain Saito is portrayed in in these post main game stories as they’ve shown how his concern is still Chizuru’s happiness.... though this makes me think that there isn’t really a lot of time between the main game’s ending and the endings of of zuisouroku and reimeiroku since Saito is aware of how their life is more difficult in Tonami which is also mentioned in the my tl of saito’s hana no shou after story. 

Also, I recently found Chinese translations of more of these yuugiroku 2 post-zuisouroku sakura epilogues for chikage and souji.... bringing my total (counting this one) to 5/6. will get to those after ssl... whenever the hell that is. this was only done to indulge myself and i don’t intend to do more unplanned translations lol.

[jising-jisang-jisung]

Name Your Price | Park Jisung

Genre: big floof

Word count: 1.6k

A/n: I wrote this all at once instead of doing my apush homework so please appreciate my love for Jisung!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You walk into the commons at school to find your two best friends, Chenle and Jisung immersed in a conversation. "What's up guys?" You inquire casually. "Nothing!" The two boys say in unison. "Its a secret," Jisung announces making you want to know even more.

"Tell meeeeeee" you whine trying to get it out of him. Jisung debates for a minute and finally comes up with an idea. "I'll tell you-" he pauses, still thinking carefully about what he says, "if you give me a kiss."

"Ew, Jisung, that was so gross!" Chenle screeched with his loud dolphin-like voice.

"It was a little greasy," you admit hoping that neither boy will notice your blush.

"Y/n's blushing!!"

"Shut up, Lele! No I am not!"

~

During lunch you sit in your usually seat with your friends. There were 8 of you total, it used to be 9 but Mark graduated and went to college. "What's for lunch today, y/n?" Jaemin asks before hopping in line to get his school served food. If you could call it food.

"Um, this might be fish, ＜(。_。)＞" you respond, pushing your tray away from yourself. That when you notice that Jisung brought his own lunch today. "Mmmm, Jisungie! What's in your lunchbox today?"

"Tell you what, y/n. I'll give you half of my pb&j in exchange-"

"If you say I have to kiss you, I will throw you out of the math window on the second floor!"

His face looks shocked, maybe even a little scared, but it is still coated in a shy blush. "Here." He hands you half his sandwich and his grapes. This caused a lot of commotion from the other boys, Chenle in particular. They were ooh-ing and ahhh-ing and jisung is love-ing. You knew it was just teasing but that didn't stop your heart from beating louder than the bass in Hyuck's car when he is feeling particularly emo that day. What an analogy. "So what're we doing tonight guys?" Jeno picks up from behind Jaemin, who stole the other half of Jisung's pb&j rather than risk the possible fish.

The rest of the boys have a mischievous look on their faces. "Let's watch a movie at y/n's house," Jaemin says cutely, trying to use his charm against you. "My mom doesn't really want me to have all of you over again, y'know after last time." Jaemin shoots you an apologetic look, "right, I forgot about that." "But y/n's older brother never will!" Hyuck chimes in, earning himself a smack to the back of his head from Renjun. "How bout Jisungie's? We haven't hung out there in a while," Renjun suggests.

Jisung was caught off guard since he was trying to negotiate his lunch back from Jaemin. "Ah, but Chenle's house is so much bigger and nicer and his TV-"

"Jisung's it is! See you all at 6!" And then the boys were gone, leaving you, Jisung, and Chenle to your lunch. You felt kind and gave Jisung half of the half he gave you. This action did not go unnoticed by Chenle.

~

You have a knack for never being late, but you're pretty sure you inherited that from your mother, who is NEVER late. This being said, you showed up like 30 mins early. Jisung opens his door revealing sweatpants that just so happened to match the ones you were wearing. "Jisung! Look we match. Cute!"

"Y/n ☆(❁‿❁)☆ you're early, as usual. Cmon in and help me get some snacks."

You and Jisung rummage his pantry for anything sweet or salty, or better yet: both. After collecting all the junk food in Jisung's house, you sat waiting for the rest of the group to arrive. "So, Jisung, are you gonna tell me what you and Chenle were discussing ever so secretly earlier?"

"You already know the price," he said cheekily, making a kissy face.

"Why won't you tell meeeeeeee? You're not supposed to keep secrets from your best friend ＼(◎o◎)／"

"I will tell you. I just- I can't tell you right now. But I will tell you, I promise."

"You swear you will?" He nodded. "Okay you are forgiven, but you better tell me, or I'll never help you avoid Jaemin again." This was the best threat you could think of for the time being. Jisung absolutely hates when Jaemin is clingy and loves him too much.

At 6pm on the dot you began to feel anxious. "Relax, y/n not everyone shows up exactly on time. They're probably just running late because they picked up snacks too," Jisung reassured you with a warm smile.

Just like that, there was a knock on the door. Chenle greeted you both by throwing a DVD at you and screaming "WATCH THIS!" before his phone began to ring. "Yes, mom. Okay. Are you sure? But I just got here. Yes, mom. I'll be right there. Love you too- it appears I actually can't stay."

"None of the others came either. Maybe we should just resche-" you started.

"No!- you two can enjoy the movie. Don't be bummed out by the rest of us flakes. Enjoy your movie night." With that last remark he smirked at Jisung and added a wink. It was starting to feel like a setup.

"We don't have to watch this movie if you'd prefer something else," you offered, holding up the horror film.

"Why? Are you scared?" Jisung taunted.

Your hand was literally shaking just holding up the DVD and the boy has the nerve- the disrespect! "Jisung, you don't like horror movies either you baby. Don't come at me when you can't hold your own," you huff, face turning slightly red from embarrassment.

"Fine. Let's watch it then. But I won't be scared. I'm practically the man of this household. Don't be too frightened, little y/n, your big strong Jisung will protect you."

You punched his arm, "alright then, since you're not at all scared, let's just watch it. We'll see who's scared then, brave boy."

~

It was just like in the movies when the popcorn goes flying at the jump scare. There were snacks all over the living room by this point. You and Jisung were under one (1) blanket that was held tightly over both of your heads whenever a scary scene came on. Without realizing it you both grabbed onto each other. Jisung was shaking, so much for not being afraid. You could feel his heart beat increasing by the second, anticipating the next jump. His face was very close to yours. You could barely think about anything else because of his close proximity. Then, he flinched, and so did you. This movie was more frightening then you thought it would be. Why did you agree to this?

You jump again, latching onto Jisung even harder. Without noticing it, you both screamed. Like full on shrieked at the top of your lungs. You were still holding onto each other for dear life as you just looked at one another, still screaming. You both quieted down, not breaking eye contact. His face was so close you could feel his breath on your cheek. He was breathing pretty heavily, but so were you. You don't know what came over you, but you spotted the little mole just outside of his bottom lip and kissed it, resulting in you actually kissing his lips.

If Jisung was frightened before, now he was terrified. He never expected you to really kiss him. Sure he wanted you to, but never in a million years did he think it would happen. Again, you were caught staring at one another, motionless as the movie ended outside the blanket. He began to remove the blanket from covering you both, peaking out to double check that the film was in fact over and there was no more scary movie. "Jisung, I'm too scared to go home alone and you know my brother won't pick me up-"

"I have an extra sleeping bag in my closet. I'll be right ba- actually, you should come with me. I don't want to go by mysel- I mean, I wouldn't want you to be left here alone when you're so afraid."

"Nice save."

"Thanks."

"So are you gonna tell me the secret now," your face lit up when you remembered your conversation earlier.

"What do you mean? I told you I would tell you later."

"Park Jisung! You said your price was a kiss and I delivered so tell me or I swear I will make you watch every horror movie ever made!"

Now, there aren't words to describe Jisung's level of fear. "Okay okay. I'll tell you... but you have to kiss me first."

"What? I already-"

"You didn't do it meaningfully enough so you have to do it again. That's the price, I don't make the rules."

"You do, but okay." You leaned in to press your lips to the boy's for the second time. It was softer than the first. Probably because he was ready this time, and you weren't scared out of your pants.

"Hmmm. No that wasn't quite right either. Try again."

"Park Jisung! Don't make me tell Mark!"

"Okay fine! Just don't tell Mark on me. What I was telling Chenle was..."

"Go on."

"I really like you, y/n!"

"Oh thank goodness. Because it would be weird if you didn't and we just kissed like that just cuz."

"Wait what does that mean?"

"I like you too dummy."

"Do you like me enough to kiss me again? But you were seriously just joking about telling Mark, right?"

"No. I'm telling."

[bigskydreaming]

In the best (personal) news I have had in oh, over a year, FINALLY got the results of the MRI back and it is NOT a tumor lurking in my nonexistent jaw joint area and causing all my Issues, as my doctor was worried about from the latest CT scans. Which, like. Yeah. I don’t really have the words for how grateful I am to hear that because like, hahahaha I was getting super tired of my rock bottoms introducing themselves to new rock bottoms, you know???

So I am currently buzzing and high on that news, life in general, and y’know, sleep deprivation, cuz ngl, it was definitely not fun hearing I should know by Monday whether or not like, I have cancer, only for that to be dragged out until freaking Friday. Hahaha what is sleep, I have had like, five hours all week maybe? Needless to say I am super behind again on work, rent, insurance and all that fun stuff BUT as long as I can say “but I don’t have cancer!” at the end of each of those things, like....yeah I’m gonna milk the fuck out of that qualifier for energy, as long as I possibly can lololol.

Did talk to my insurance ppl today though and I’ve got at least until Tuesday to pay my premiums, so got a couple more days of breathing room there. Can’t get it extended past that though because my doctor’s already gonna be calling in preauthorization requests for like, the actual surgery and stuff as early as Monday and I reeeeeally don’t want ‘okay but this dude hasn’t even paid up yet’ being a factor at all in whether or not they approve my 25K surgery.

Fingers crossed that my good luck continues to hold, as there’s a possibility this might all get dealt with once and for all, a lot sooner than I’d hoped for?? Like, cuz of the MRI she was able to get a clear view of exactly what the problem is, the inflammation around the joint and actual erosion of the bone, etc, which cut out a lot of the other steps we were preparing to take to isolate the exact issue before moving forward. It also apparently lit a hell of a fire under their asses cuz they were able to see not just that the joint is totally wrecked (which we’ve known for like, nine months now, wasn’t news), but just how badly eroded my jawbone is at like....the other point of the jaw that holds it at least somewhat connected to my skull still even though the joint itself is nonexistent? Idk not explaining that right because again, sleep deprived like whoa. 

ANYWAY. Point is my doctor was like, so basically because of the constant damage being done in that area every time you open your mouth at all, you’re fracturing it further and its only hanging on by the barest sliver at this point - which, DUH, is exactly what I’ve been telling all these doctors it felt like, for over a year BUT I DIGRESS - so she’s all, yeah, we need to move this along as fast as possible because if you erode that area much more like, she doesn’t even know what that’ll look like in practice cuz she’s never actually had to deal with a case that bad, but reading between the lines it sounds like I would just not be able to close my mouth shut at all after that point, which....lol bye bye basic eating and talking? Idk. So its super fun being the worst case of this particular issue she’s ever seen personally haha yay me (but at least I don’t have cancer!)

So. Still putting it in the win column.

But yeah, so she found another surgeon that does potentially take insurance for the actual surgery costs, if we can get my insurance to approve it, and in the meanwhile now I gotta set up appointments at this OTHER imaging place for another more specific CT scan to measure how big the prosthetic will need to be, and they don’t take insurance there at all so that’s gonna be $600 no matter what. BUT, this new surgeon has a bunch of premade prosthetics they keep on site and so there’s a possibility they might be able to fit me with a premade prosthetic that’s already the right dimension instead of having to order a custom made one. And if I can get the surgery approved by my insurance and they find a premade that works, the surgery can be set up in as little as three weeks (which omg holy shit is that a light at the end of the tunnel, IT JUST FUCKING MIGHT BE crap I totally jinxed it didnt I fuck). If they can’t find a premade that works though it’ll still be the 4-6 months to make a custom one so, boooooo, we’re really hoping that doesn’t happen, cuz, again. I do not know precisely what several months of not being able to swing my jaw shut at all even lopsidedly and thus no eating or talking....like lmao what would that even look like how do you not like, starve in that case? Idk. So....super duper hoping that we can find a premade and get the surgery scheduled quicklikearabbit and not have to wait several more months and risk just eroding whatever it is that’s still up there in that general vicinity that’s left to erode, idk, like I said what are words right now even.

YEAH. SO. That’s my status update for those who’ve been messaging and checking in and whatnot, like, y’all are rockstars and I fucking adore you and am so grateful. I am now going to go sleep the sleep of the dead because hahahahahaha ow light is actually physically painful at the moment, I just came to sit up straight at my desk and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.

Then its back to work for me but also I might have some fic updates??? lol. Cuz of people who’ve donated and made non-imposing requests or suggestions for things I could write and thus mitigate my OMG I Do Not Deserve Your Generosity ulcers of doom. That I’ve been writing off and on but mostly just off this last week in particular where I unfortunately did a lot of like, staring at the wall watching paint dry except not really cuz they weren’t freshly painted or whatever, look you get what I mean probably. 

Right. So. Assuming any of this makes sense to anyone and I’m not actually just stringing together nonsense series of words here at this point, still likely to be scarce for a few days to a week. Gonna leave my paypal link again, cuz I mean, yeah. I’m way more sick of posting it than anyone could possibly be of seeing my post it lolol, trust me, but hopefully there is a point now in the near(ish) future where I will once again be able to work productively and non-chronic-painfully again and thus not be in desperate need of the kindness of strangers 24/7. That would be so awesome omgwtfbbqicanteven. You don’t even know. 

But also! At least I don’t have cancer. So. I actually have a bizarre amount of energy at the moment despite being two seconds away from faceplanting into my keyboard from exhaustion. Look I dont even get how that works either. I’m nuanced okay.

I feel like there was something to write here like in conclusion or in summation or tl;dr but also fuck it, I think I literally just heard my last remaining synapse fire in my brain I gtg ttyl byyyyyyyyyyyye.

https://paypal.me/bigskydreaming?locale.x=en_US

[spazzingcookies]

Vampire Reaper x reader

Chapter 4: can't get a break

!!!Warning, alcohol abuse in this chapter and death!!!

After that night it became hard for (y/n) to sleep. If reaper didn't want to kill her, what did he want? Romance? (Y/n) hoped not. She sighed turning over. Jack was resting in a chair by the door.

Reaper had come two days ago. Two days ago was the last time (y/n) had a full night sleep. Now she only slept maybe 3 to 4 hours a day. (Y/n) turned her head.to look out the window. She could see the morning sun coming out. Waking up the world. The birds where chirping Their morning song. If only (y/n) could enjoy them. She was so tired, but even time she closed her eyes she woke back up thinking reaper was here, but he wasn't.

(Y/n) sighed. It was a few hours till she had to get ready for work. She had started to fall asleep at work and if her now noticed, that would be just bad.

Exhaling (y/n) turned over again. Come on try and sleep. She closed her eyes, only to snap them back open and looking around. This was a thing she did. take a deep breath, close eyes, instantly panic and repeat.

(Y/n) didn't want to wake up Jack, not again. She's woken up in such terror that he had to calm her down. He wasn't the best at it, but he was learning. She would ask him to hold her for a bit to say everything is OK but that man needed his sleep too. Can't fight any vampires of your passed out.

(Y/n) rubbed her eyes. She hated this. She would sit here for hours and lose sleep. It was frustrating. With a grumble (y/n) closed her eyes again. Breath in, breath out, repeat. On her 3rd deep breath out.

Clearly she wasn't gonna go back to sleep.  Quietly she got out of bed.

It was still slightly dark, but (y/n) could tell the sun was about to peek over the Horizon. She might as well start to make breakfast. Her light foot steps could be heard as she made it to the kitchen. (Y/n) got a pan and eggs and she started to make omelettes.

The girl thought she was quiet enough, but she didn't know Jack was such a light sleeper. Looking up from her pan she heard back enter the room.

"Oh.. I'm sorry did I wake you again?"

"No, I'm just a light sleeper." He leaned on the wall as he watched. "Its a bit early to cook isn't it?"

(Y/n) was silent for a bit. What should she tell him? 'I can't sleep?'

'I got hungry?' 'Going to work early?' She opened her mouth to speak but stopped when Jack sighed.

"You can't run on 2-3 hours of sleep (y/n)..."

Hearing jack, (y/n) exhaled. He was right, and she knew he was right so why couldn't she sleep? "I know... I can't live off of coffee... And I know you and Jessie are here to help me but... " (y/n) trailed off.

"Scared? You have a right to be so." He got up walking closer. His heavy boots hinting the floor.  (Y/n) listened to them as they got closer, before stopping by her. She looked up from the pan to see jack standing right there. Carefully jack put his hand on (y/n)'s shoulder.

"Ask your boss for the day off when you can, you need to replace, calm down and sleep." Again he was right, but she also knew how getting a day off could also leave her boss in a mean bitch mood. "(Y/n)" he spoke again after she flipped the omelette with out saying anything.

"...ok." she muttered softly. This made jack smile at (y/n).

He carefully moved to the counter and filled the coffee pot with water.

"How strong do you need it for today?"

(Y/n) smiled at the sweet gesture he had made. "I'm more.of.a sweet coffee person, but I'm gonna need it.strong, can't be sleeping at work."

Jack gave a hum as he started to make the coffee. The sun is now peeking out to say good morning. (Y/n) cooked two other omelette in silence before putting them on the table. Jessie wasn't gonna be up for a bit, he was more of a heavy sleeper. Breakfast was silent and quick.

Soon (y/n) got up and got ready for work. If she was gonna ask her boss for a few days off she needed to get there early. Oh this was gonna be one he'll of a day....

Now with the sun fully up, (y/n) walked out of the house and to work. As she got to town she could tell people were already busy. With a deep breath she walked into the bar. It was closed but her boss was already here. Probably already drinking again. She took a deep breath before knocking on his door.

"Sir it's me (y/n)." Silence hit her for a bit. She was gonna knock again but the door flung open. (Y/n) bit her lip. Good god how much has he drank already? The man was leaning on the wall with a sneer.

"Your late."

"Uh... No I am early? It's 6:40, not 7:30."

The man looked at his watch and sneered. "What ever, come in and get to work--"

"Sir before I work today I wanted to--"

"Shut up!! I said get to work!!" He snapped before going back to what he was doing. Ughh h this is gonna be a day...

All throughout the day (y/n) try to get the courage to talk to her boss. At Her lunch brake she tried to talk to.him again only this time he was slumped over snoring on his desk.

"I am not waking him up..." (y/n) remembered the last employee trying to wake him. Let's just say it got violent. And the person now refuses to work here. (Y/n) wanted a new job oh so bad, but no one else was hiring with the same pay.

Sighing she went back to the bar. It was slow now. She could hear the ticking of the clock. It was soothing. Slowly (y/n)'s eye lids where getting heavy. Super heavy. She had to stay up. She couldn't let her boss see. Quickly (y/n) slapped her face. She had to stay up or else her boss will get really mad.

Hours passed. Soon it was 4:00 then 5:00, then it got to 6, and so on. It was now 8:45. It was getting dark outside. (Y/n) couldn't take it anymore. She had to sleep. No matter how hard she tried to fight it. No matter how many times she slapped her face she was falling asleep. She leaned on the counter. (Y/n) couldn't tell how long they where out. Hours? Maybe it was just a few minutes.

"Just what the fuck do you think your doing!!!" Hands slammed down on the counter, and the man slurred his words.

With a shocking gasp (y/n) jumped awake, a hand over her fast beating heart. Oh... Oh it was way past closing time. No one else was in here. "Im... I'm sorry sir I'm just--"

"Is that all you say? I'm sorry?! You where asleep on the job!!" Oh god his breath reeked of beer. Oh god he was so mad. "Why the he'll do I even pay you?!"

"Sir i-- the reason I was asleep is cuz I am having trouble--"

"I don't care what trouble you have! I don't care if it's that damn vampire that you said that attacked you! In fact I think no vampire attacked you! No one else in this town has seen a vampire for a month and you just so happen to fucking find one?? Ha!!"

(Y/n) backed up when he had hit the counter again.

"Sir--"

"No!! Shut up before I make you!!"

"But--"

"I said shut the hell up!!"

It all happened so quickly. He was so quick to anger. He was so quick. to turn to violence. He was so quick to grab (y/n) and slam her in a wall. Fear struck (y/n) as she kicked and screamed.

"Stop screaming!!" He tried to shut her up. He tried pulling her hair, stepping on her feet, anything to get her to shut up!! The more she screamed the more the drunk man got angry, and soon punched her in the face.

(Y/n) fell to the floor covering her head. Oh god she should have gotten a new job... Her nose was bleeding but that wasn't the end of it. She winced and screamed when she was kicked in the side. Oh god, was he going to kill her!! Everything went fuzzy. (Y/n)'s eyes couldn't focus. Her breathing was heavy and it hurt. Before a second kick would land on (y/n) she had suddenly heard her boss struggle for air.

(Y/n) shouldn't have looked. There in front of her was reaper. His claw digging into his neck as he dangled him in the air. He was here... He was here in town!!! Fear struck (y/n). Oh god... Oh God! Reaper slammed her boss into the floor, not once, not twice, but three times. He was enjoying this kill. It made (y/n) want to vomit. He had a dark chuckle. Reaper was gonna drink his blood.

(Y/n) had.to get put of here. She was going to be next! Struggling to get up, she started to limp to the door, only to grip her side and fall over in pain. She sat there for a bit breathing heavy. Soon the was the only thing (y/n) could hear. Her breathing. That was until there was a loud thud. The corpse of Her now ex boss hit the floor.

"I should have killed that bastard a long time ago." His dark.voice hit (y/n)'s ears, making her whimper. She was next... His loud foot steps came closer and closer before stopping right by (y/n). She was going to die.

Slowly reaper knelt down. Her eye was already swollen, along with bruises on her side. The blood from her nose was barely dripping now.

Reaper reached a claw out. This is it. This is it. He was gonna kill her!! (Y/n)'s body tensed up in fear. Waiting for more pain.

But it never came. Instead his hand moved her hair to see how bad her black eye was gonna be. He was being careful to not hurt her anymore. (Y/n) was breathing heavy but confused. Reaper leaves no survivors... so why Her? Not only once now, but multiple times.

"Oh mi amor..." He muttered. mi amor? That was Spanish. What did that mean? Mi was my, (y/n) knew that much but amor? Where did she hear that....oh god... He just said my love!!

Carefully he helped her sit up. Did... Did he fall in love with (y/n)? He was so scary the first time they meet but that would explain why he didn't kill her, why he would brake in... why he would kill her boss. He was protecting her. It may have not (y/n) like a train but she still didn't trust this vampire.

Reaper looked into (y/n)'s eyes only.to quickly shoot his head up at the door and fade to smoke as the door burst open.

"(Y/n)!!" Jessie has his gun drawn out and quickly came over. "(Y/n) hold on I'm gonna get you help! Just stay with me."

A small whimper escaped (y/n) again. She was so tired. She was in such pain. She can't keep her eyes open. Her vision started to fade. She couldn't hear so well. She got light-headed. The next thing she knew it went black.

[canaryatlaw]

Feels strange writing this now that I finished recapping yesterday a few hours ago, but hopefully I won't be overcome with sleep halfway through this post, I don't think I have as much to say anyway. Today was fine though. I had a noon PT appointment so my alarm went off at 11:15 and I snoozed it till 11:25 because I'm lazy AF and knew I could do my make up afterwards. So I get there (on time of course, because even with my snoozes I am always timely) and end up with a different therapist for booking schedules or whatever, and she's fine, we run through the exercises and such and I think I'm doing them right. It's harder than the wrist exercises because there are a lot more muscles in that general area that can be used so it's more difficult to figure out if you're doing it right but I think I got most of it, and I remember them to do during the week. For now at least it looks like my pattern is gonna end up being on Wednesdays and Fridays, so I'll have to be good with the home exercises the rest of the week. Ended at 1, went home and got ready for oral arguments at school, suit and make up and everything, then walked to the train and got to school plenty early and just looked at my stuff for a while. Since the brief had two issues, with each side appealing one of them, we were working with a partner so one could argue the first issue and the other second, going up against two people on the other side. So adversarial of course, but not all that bad. I think it went fine overall, it's stressful when you go in having a game plan (and this kind of goes for trial strategy in general) and then when you get there it pretty much just goes out the window and you gotta roll with whatever happens, and I'm trying to answer questions about the applicability of the fourth amendments exclusionary rule impeachment exception to criminal cases versus civil cases (that was a real question, I didn't just through a bunch of confusing words together to exaggerate). But overall I thought it went well. They gave us feedback afterwards and they said my confidence started out really well and then kind of dipped in the middle but picked back up in the end, none of which I was aware of of course as it's going on because I'm just going. One of the judges was like "you got really passionate about that child abuse argument and you can really tell you cared about it, is that like something you're interested in?" So I laughed and was like yeah, I work in juvenile court, I could make public policy child abuse arguments for DAYSSSSSSS lol. So that made me smile. Afterwards I was of course happy to be done, so I went to Starbucks and got another unicorn frap because I'm a child and it tastes like sour candy and shit and I like it, okay? I sat there for like 10 minutes and just decompressed a bit before getting on the train and heading home. Got home and made some food, I tried to get kind of fancy and made this like roasted nectarine oatmeal that I just pulled out of my ass but it tasted really good! Lol and yeah, I also started doing laundry because I officially ran out of underwear that I can for sure know is clean, so that's kind of the limit. After not too long my roommate showed up and she was staying in for the night, so I suggested we start binging 13 reasons why since we'd both been wanting to watch it, so we did and got through the first 5 episodes. First background: I read the book shortly after it came out, circa 2008 or so, when of course I was highly suicidal myself, and I don't think it was super helpful to me in that area, but of course that was 9 years ago now and I'm in a totally different place now. I remembered the overall concept and such of course, but I didn't remember like, the individual stories or anything so that was cool to see again. First impressions: damn. Like I knew of course it was gonna be really, really heavy, but this is like, soul-crushingly agonizing to watch. Just, any time her parents are on screen I can just feel my soul aching for them as they so desperately try to figure out what happened that took their little girl away, and shit I'm tearing up just writing this because this exact subject just gets to me so much. I have images in my head of my parents finding my body after I would've killed myself and I just, they're screaming and sobbing and I can't think about it for more than a fleeting second without bursting into tears (I am full on crying now). Because it's just way too close to home. This could've been my story so easily. Seeing them, even as fictional parents, go through that just makes something in me want to scream and cry in rage that any parent would ever have to bury their child who took their own life, and how that was so close to being my story. I couldn't see it then, I really couldn't. But I can now. I can see how much it would've utterly destroyed my parents. I can see how, as much as my brothers abuse have caused me great pain, them carrying that with them, knowing they had been part of the cause of that (and I was going to make sure they knew) would just be something that would never leave them, a guilt they could never absolve themselves of. And my sister. Oh, my sister. My beautiful baby girl who kept me on this earth because I couldn't never possibly leave her here alone. I had to be here to protect her. If my life served no other purpose, I could at least keep her safe. Make sure she didn't suffer the way I did. To be a barrier between her and our brothers and any abuse they might inflict on her. I wouldn't let them do that to her. My precious, sweet little angel that God knew I needed, when I was just a little 6 year old praying for a sister, God knew I would need her to get me through this, that my love for her, in the end, was the one thing that kept me tied to this earth. I could never leave her. I could never hurt her like that. I could never cause her to suffer such a tragedy at such a young age. He knew. He knew all those years ago I would need her. So He gave her to me and I was the happiest 9 year old on earth knowing that God heard my prayer and actually answered me, with living, breathing proof- this was such a big request, I never expected it to be answered. But it was. Because He knew. So He gave me the most precious and important person in my life that I could never imagine my life without. I could never imagine getting through life without her. And I just......I'm so off topic, but apparently I needed a good cry on this specific subject. But the show, the way it captures her parents grief is just such a soul-aching pain for me. As for the rest of the show, the characters have been well-crafted so far, and they've done a good job showing the effects of bullying on people and how these things affect people- that what we say and do doesn't happen in a vacuum, but in a vast network that can get to anyone. Despite its other potential failings, which I'm sure I'll get to addressing as I go, I think it's doing a good job at really showing that actions such as bullying really do have consequences, what you think is just a joke is really at someone else's expense and that's going to affect them for longer than you know. From a cinamographic (that's not a real word, but go with it) perspective, establishing the cut on Clay's forehead as an easy way to distinguish between the flashbacks and the present was rather brilliant. I have to rant about the lawsuit subplot with the parents for a minute though, since it wasn't in the book. All was fine with it up until the end of the last episode I watched where they said the case was taking to trial and I was like BULL. FUCKING. SHIT. I'm sorry, I have a realism threshold, and that crosses wayyyyyyyy way over it. In absolutely no universe would a school EVER go to trial on a case like that. The merits of it don't matter for shit, what matters is that it would be a PR nightmare for the school. The school is fighting against the parents of a dead girl who was bullied by trying to say they weren't responsible? Nobody's gonna give a fuck about the truth of whether she was or not, they're just going to think the school as being absolutely terrible and like I said, PR nightmare. So that really got under my skin, lol, I know its a stupid little thing but I just couldn't get past it because it would just never happen. And yeah, we ended there and I headed to bed and here we are. I'm glad I can sleep in as long as I want (yay Saturdays) being that it's almost 2 am now. Tomorrow I'll probably try to do more laundry, and I gotta make a target run cuz this week I actually am running out of sodastream gas canisters (which of course we all know I need to live) among a few other random items. Then I can hopefully make a big batch dinner for use for packed lunches/dinners during the week, and also make some more progress on the presentation. I don't have to have the 40 page paper done till May 3rd, but I have the presentation that's supposed to be based on the facts in the paper on Monday, so I have to work on fleshing that out and come up with a game plan as to how I'm going to address it. I think I have a pretty solid idea and it shouldn't take too long to work out. So yeah, should be a good tomorrow. Eyes are tired now, and like I said it's almost 2 am, so I'll call it a night now. Goodnight angels. Stay lovely.

[thesinglesjukebox]

GIRLI - UP & DOWN

[7.00]

Caderyn brings us some bubblegum punk...

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: Top 10 lines from "Up & Down" which make it the most relatable, heartwarming, emotionally cathartic, hilarious song the year: 1) "I'm a fat giraffe who likes pea soup." Iconic, absurd, perfect opening line. 2)"I'm the best thing you've ever seen, a karaoke teenage dream." GIRLI understands that being a geek about pop music means comparing your emotional highs to Katy Perry songs. 3) "My life is going pretty bad." The first time I heard this, I laughed so hard because I was going through a rough point in my life -- and I've laughed every time since. 4) "I think about the future way too much and yes, it drives me mad." 2019 and an entire decade are coming to a close! Here's a line to perfectly encapsulate the simultaneous feelings of boundless possibility and cosmic doom you might be feeling! 5) "I don't wanna lose my mind, so I'll just pretend I'm fine." Americans, let's get universal public health insurance in 2020 so this doesn't have to be mental health coverage for people without adequate health insurance! 6) "You should like it if you want me around." Was this ripped from GIRLI's diary? This is an exact thought I've had when going through periodic phases where I think everyone secretly hates me but is too nice to say it. 7) "Ask me how I been, I've been lots of ways, who am I today?" Being a twenty-something feels like having daily existential crises about who you are and who want to be. 8) "My world is on fire." The world is on fire. 9) "I can't go to sleep but I'm tired." For several months this year I could never get sleep because of my living situation. My sleep deprivation eventually got to the point where I was so irritable all the time that even just looking at normal people would piss me off -- and this line just understood me. 10) "I get up, I get down, I get UuUuUuPpPpPp.... and I get down." Ending a song about emotional rollercoasters amid ruckus, thumping beats, emphasising how she also dances through all the turbulence... the final chorus blasts into the stratosphere. I can't think of anything that better epitomises the essence of pop. [10]

Alfred Soto: No "& Down" required -- up up up, it goes. It's not often I get to say, "This song makes me think I can do anything." GIRLI's quasi-anthem does it without using its intensity as a bludgeon. [8]

Ian Mathers: "Can't go to sleep but I'm tired / too much ammunition to fire" - the pop-punk/boshing bits are better than the other bits, but too much of this hit too close to home for me to do anything but nod sadly in recognition and acknowledge that I am in fact in this picture and I do not like it. [8]

Kylo Nocom: GIRLI's fantastic Odd One Out strikes me as the bubbly punk of Helen Love updated with Teenage Dream gloss, an immensely likable portrayal of 2000s/2010s pop more faithful than her contemporaries' attempts at the form. "Up & Down" re-imagines "Hot N Cold" as Gen-Z self-deprecation. It's not a pretty sight, bucket-loads of distilled camp delivered line after line, but being easy to swallow isn't the point. GIRLI understands that being a lot to handle doesn't mean you shouldn't be handled at all. Though the dynamic of the verses-as-venting and the hook's stadium-stomp is jarring, it all feels right once the hugest bridge of the year comes in: a cry for help, delivered as loud as possible from a remote island below. [8]

Edward Okulicz: My initial reaction to this song was to love it, and my second was that it was dinky, annoying, embarrassing and generally awful. I haven't quite come back to that first position, but my appreciation set a bit more once I realised it was like an English pantomime version of Courtney Barnett's "Pedestrian at Best." "I can't fall asleep but I'm tired" is the story of my life, your life and 2019 in general, and that particular part is the pinnacle of the song, willing itself to life while reflecting the exhaustion of struggling to find equilibrium. I can't quite love it because the chorus's mania feels a bit perfunctory, but I appreciate it plenty. [7]

Will Adams: When I manage to push away the thought that it's basically a much better-written version of "Sweet But Psycho," this is above-average power pop. The contrast between the verse -- anxious word dump darting from reference to reference -- and chorus -- plainspoken, wall-of-sound roar -- is nice, but after that's established the song doesn't seem to know where to go next. [6]

Oliver Maier: Alternates between the sort of self-effacing novelty pop that blows up on YouTube and ends up on Live at the Apollo, and a chorus not even close to catchy or cathartic enough to justify the whole thing. [2]

Isabel Cole: As a person with a strong aversion to female comedy centered on self-deprecation, I had a knee-jerk resistance to a song which announces itself with the narrator identifying as a fat giraffe, but was thawed by the specificity of "you only think I'm funny 'cuz you're high as fuck on mushrooms." I still feel like this shouldn't work: unmusically singing a single note over acoustic guitar feels like an unwelcome holdover from early aughts musical comedy, and perhaps unsurprisingly the glitter-text inspiration of the ups ("I'm a karaoke teenage dream") doesn't match the wit of the downs (I love "my life is going pretty bad" -- it's the way she says it). A peppy jam about mental health seems like a concept that can't help but come out unearned. And yet! There's an appealingly propulsive melody in the chorus, and a great synth line that took me by surprise later on, and a real likability in the plainspokenness of the delivery, and, I don't know, man, it's been a long year and the world is on fire and I do get up and I do get down. [7]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[kyandice]

CANDICE EDIT THIS UGLY SHIT WHEN U HAVE THE FUCKING TIME

this is an ugly unedited one it has been in my drafts for like 2 months already. so whatever i just posting it. ill edit it if i have the time. thins is is i actually edited half way and MY FUCKING COMPUTER FUCKING CRASHED SO I GAVE UP  and yeahhh ill just post this ugly unedited one and ill edit it again WITH PROPER ENGLISH WHEN I HAVE THE TIME. idk i just cqnt see stuff in my drafts i just havre to post it and yewah wtf.

this unedu=ited stuff is just me writing key poiunts about my day and not like urghhhhhhh i hate this commmmmm. normally i would describe more but i dont want it in my drafts anymore so ill edit it when im free OKAYYYY.

1/3 

Hahahahahah lmao this was the date when i got tgt with K 3 years ago.(omg i still rmb, but tbh its nth special i just rmb useless stuff pretty well)  Never wanted to date a guy again even i with crushes back in sec sch. but anyways, today i went to Sentosa w/ B and he seemed to really like the artificial fiels alot but it was like in the afternoon so it was still kinda hot and yeahhhh. Like it would be much nicer at night. There will be like alot of stars and fireworks too and it will be more windy and cooling idk but it will be nicer at night and i want to spend the night w/ B there again. Oh yeah anyways ystd B bought me the batgirl lego keychain and B told me that batgirl had sex with batman and im shoooked.

2/3 and like today we planned to go to his house anddd then go to parkway parade to some lego secret chambers shop. i went out early cuz my junior wanted to pass me her lego characs but she couldnt make it so i was alr at bishan so i just went to tpy and wait for bryan o wake and meet me so i called him at 11am but he woke up and shouted at me so i just like nvmmmm so i went to the library and went window shopping around tpy and i also went popular 1pm i didnt want to call him up but i was like ugh nvm and called him.. and yay he finaally woke up wna read tuesday with morrie, all the fifty shades of grey and in grey's pov n miss peregrine's home for peculiar children but we still went to parkway parade anyays and he asked me to watch letters from iwo jima so i watched it at night and bryan wanted to watch the breakup list on toggle but it kept playing ads and it just wouldnt play the video so b got alittle pissed 3/3 logan, training (our 8th movie)

4/3 finishing crocheting my first thinggg the bear thing shoud i give it to bryan would he want it so today b was vvvv kinda excited this video thing with ck and cez and im like vvv happy for him cuz he can do smthing he rlly likes with cool n funny ffriends. also he said that he didnt want us to go public at first cuz he was afraid that ppl might tease us he said he was afraid i might be ffrustrated but tbh i was hella frustaratred i dont see the point of hiding our rship but im glad werre like opene now and so at night i went to ikea and b messaged me but i was busyt walking and i didnt recieve his msg but i didnt like lock my phone so it was read. but like it was in my pockets and like my mom doesnt allow me to play my phine whenever im walking but yeah anyways b was angry hat i didnt reply him. we sorta quarreled awhile but we were kinda okay after that i guess. wtf sia today midnight i have to distribute stuff to the homeless ppl in bugis and i was wearing a short paanyts and my mom tied this weird looking scarf i swear i look like some carzy hobo youngster wtf.

5&6/3 sneaked out of house, slept over at his house and after that i went to tpy first while he showers, ate and went home early to pack for camp stuff wna stay over at his house again it was fun we tried to watch moanna but was kinda sleepy

7/3 day 1 of camp. slept with b outised tgt

8/3 day 2 of camp (-met javier and sihui -every camps i go i get very angry -shoulder, water balloon) larn cpr and aed the skit thing worst grp ever

9/3 day 3 of camp water activities we won

10/3 tkd training

11/3

-wtf nxt week go msia (wanted to go work) -quarreled with bteh. cuz i cant go out but he wants me to go out -yyour suffering defines you without it yore a void -japan and korea with bryan -my parents -i want more lego charac -money - i cant wait for tmr for ilighhtsss i want to take like alooot pictures tgt with bryannnn styled hair -nicole choo idk why im still so insecure like i know pretty clearly that im decent looking. decent looking enough to make friends, have a job and not get ostracised in society. and well if you arent good looking enough you'll be made fun off/ostracised in society and thats how humans work. and now everywhere you see are pretty girls and how can any girls feel not insecure. Okay, i have a flat and fat nose. i want to have a sharper and thinner nose like michelle. i have pretty small boobs and i want boobs like naomi. my shoulders are too wide from playing softball, i want a smaller width shoulders like grace. my tummy isnt flat i want a flat tummy. and thing is those are pretty famous girls in like sg and im not even talking abt kim kard or emma wats or like jennifer lawr. omg i dont even know where im going with this im just literally typing all my thoughts down. okay and the boys here???? they all follow those people and im pretty sure they compare them over the normal girls in sch. omg what am i even talking abt. i feel silly even typing this out. but okay if your beauty standards doesnt reach like the norm in society you srsly wouldnt have friends. unless youre realllll rich or your sense of humor is rlly rlly great.

12/3 didnt quarrel but we  were obv upset with each other it was a fun day tho when to see i lights took alot pictures ate llaollao no money

20/3 best s ever went home after it bteh gg aunts house today

his flight will be tmr 21/22 job interview got the job bryaan in flight abt cosplay how i dont have frinds

25/03 bryan found my private twitter accnt                                    bteh tole me abt a girl he liked when he was in korea idk if anyone realised but ive got a really really really bad habit. its weird really. but its a thing ive been doing since young and i never talked to anyone about it before. so actually, when im nervous, or stressed out, or just couldnt take my mind off smthing, i would like start peeling or plucking my nails. okay many people do this but, i ahve a weirder one andddd omg i think i will regret saying this. So actually, i pluck i my hair when im nervous, stressed out or just thinking abt smthing i cant ignore. so back in primary 4 i was doing this math practice paper and i couldnt do any those 6marks big problem sums and i was fking stressed out. and well my habit of plucking my own hair started really really young. and at P4 my mom saw me crying

26 toc competition firdst fight win second fight lose how i dont wna fight nationals cuz my weight cat all got national player lose my chance to win gold cant even get silver r came today

29/ power rangers

30 wanted to go coney island with rapheal and jill and bryan but it rained so we went to lan and gamed without jill bryan pushed me and i banged into someone in the end see museums some forest thing the ligths vvv pretyy

28/hotel

31/ hotel went to work after that talk about work made bryan that key chain clp diner and dance

1/4 learn bst bts for club crawl played boomberang didnt workkk aot is out!!!!!!

2/4 today i need to go mountbatten cc to practice my poomsae my poomsae lousy i dont think i can pass at first try anyways president of stf is milan quey idk if i spelt his name properly but yeah. before that ate yellow sub with B will nvr eat there again portion is small yet expensive and food isint so nice at all but since i get to eat with b im vvvv gladdd

3/4 today i went early to B's house. after that met up with madeline and shirlyn to watch boss baby and the movie was quite nice i thought i wouldnt like it and then we ate pepper lunch and omg osaka is a vvv small place like shirlyn went evrywhere i visited like a a year ago

4/4 AND I WOKE UP WITH BTEH lose his doibok and he couldnt find it my maid threathened to take a mail for my mom cuz she lazy walk and she wants me to do it but i was late

5/4 there was demo training we played table tennis for awhile and bteh is good at it, ok maybe its just that i suck at it but yea theres was fmo so we slacked at tg until demo tng started so at night he said hes tired but idk that he wanted to sleep soon and he was like stop it and i was like stop wat but he ttly just shut me off and then i got pissed cuz i would nvr do that to him

6/4 i had to meet herman but like after meeting him timetable i realised i forget to bring my wallet somethimes im torn in beteen like just not gg out with bteh cuz i have no money to eat or spend his money again he keeps saying its okay but its really not okay im just not comfortable like someone spending so much on me i owe money so he told me his specs broke ttly

One of the things dreams do for us is prepare us for worse case scenario. The dream that is closest to reality about a loved one leaving us prepares the mind for the pain that can be inflicted upon us. It creates a probability. That means it could happen, it means it’s a fear you have, and being such your mind protects your psyche in a way to allow you to feel the emotions of the event, even though the event never occurred.

13 reasons why felt like  th main charac like back in sec sch all i wanted was just to finish my olevels and go to poly so i can be a whole new person. someone who i wanted to be withouht anyone laughing at me

1au away from sol 1au measurement unit like light or smthing sol is latin from sun porbbaly it