#might go replay persona 3

[el-255]

I’m not sure if this has been said before but I find it very interesting how differently the writers of persona handled Junpei’s character in comparison to Ryuji’s. With the role of the mc’s best friend and mostly comic relief, I find the two of them to be the most similar personality wise compared to either of them with Yosuke so this analysis will only be discussing the parallels and differences in the way the story handles Junpei and Ryuji respectively.

To me, Junpei is handled pretty sensitively by the writers (not as much as he could be or should be, but still a lot more than most would expect given his trope); he’s given a lot of character with the introduction of Chidori and we see how he grows to like her as he gets to know her. I’ll admit it’s been a while since I played 3 so take this with a grain of salt but from what I recall, his and Chidori’s relationship gets quite a bit of screen time and development in the main story in a way that gives us a different perspective of how Junpei normally operates around the other members of SEES. With Chidori, he isn’t the class clown or the idiot of SEES, he’s simply a teenage boy who falls for a teenage girl. To me, there’s not much more humanising than that. After her presumed death, Junpei loses it and sinks into a depression, and when he finds out she’s alive, albeit her memory lost, he does his best to help her recover and grapples with the moral implications of her regaining her memory. (I think at least one can’t really remember).

This relationship is important to the story and gives us another, much more sympathetic view of Junpei’s character who, up to this point in the game, had mostly been kept in a box marked “comic relief pervert”. You root for Junpei and Chidori’s relationship because it is clearly shown how much Junpei adores her and not once after he meets her does he stray from this love for her.

It’s not only Chidori’s character that makes Junpei’s character more sensitive either, I find that his general personality and relationships with other characters to be handled better as well.

We have his friendship with Yukari (aka Yuka-tan) which I’ll begin by saying also isn’t perfect, Junpei oftentimes falls into the perverted trope so many of the male characters fall into (such is life with Atlus) and he definitely makes comments towards her that most friends wouldn’t and yeah that isn’t good, but I think Yukari gives it back just as much as Junpei dishes it out and never takes him too seriously. I get the impression that that’s just how their friendship works, it’s a constant push and pull, a give and take between them, they both take every opportunity they get to tease each other mercilessly and it works. It doesn’t feel one sided in the way that Ryuji’s interactions with other members of the phantom thieves tend to feel but I’ll get more into that later. His friendship with Yukari may not be the most noteworthy part of his character, but it’s something I think deserves a bit of credit all things considered.

He matures so much over the game and generally becomes more serious and methodical as the story progresses but in a way that is still undeniably Junpei. That’s a difficult feat to accomplish when dealing with certain characters and I think Atlus does well to make these changes happen in a pretty organic way.

Junpei isn’t a perfect character, he has his flaws and shortcomings, but out of all the bro characters from 3-5, I think that the writers of 3 deserve more merit for handling Junpei’s character arc in a way that actually feels like he’s grown by the end of the game.

I could not say the same for Ryuji.

I will preface this by saying that I love Ryuji, I think he’s a neat little guy and I think the writers did him so dirty in 5 when they clearly had the capacity to do so much more as we’ve seen already with Junpei.

Ryuji is filled to the brim of wasted potential as a character, his backstory is only barely brushed on with a few throwaway comments about his dad being abusive towards him and his mother, his abuse by Kamoshida who literally breaks his leg is barely brought up after Kamoshida’s arc, and the trauma he suffers from is never the focus of the story compared to how other characters like Yusuke, Futaba, and Ann’s are. Of course, trauma isn’t a competition and all the party members in 5 have dealt with awful shit but the point is that all of them rightfully get the opportunity to be angry about it at some point in the main story or in their social links, Ryuji doesn’t. Ryuji instead gets beat up by pretty much the entire cast of 5, is constantly belittled by the party members, and is basically treated like shit and the butt of the joke throughout the entire game.

I don’t think I even need to bring up that scene because I know everyone feels the same way about it, but I will because it’s a necessary part of this analysis. That scene haunts me, not only is it the unfunniest thing that’s played for jokes I’ve ever seen in a game, but it’s quite possibly the biggest controversy I know of in the persona fandom.

The implications of a teenage boy who was abused by his father and his teacher thinking he’s found a safe haven in the phantom thieves because they all know how shitty adults can be and yeah they insult him but they’d never actually purposefully try and hurt him, right? Only to find that they would hurt him and pretty severely after he risked his life to save theirs because they’re his best friends and he loves them is horrendous and incredibly insensitive to everyone out there who has dealt with similar circumstances. The joke he plays isn’t funny, but I take it as Ryuji trying to lighten the mood the only way he knows how and even if he was insensitive to Ann and the rest of the team who are mourning him, he does not deserve to get beaten to a pulp by the very people he almost killed himself to rescue. They don’t even fucking apologise to him, it’s all just brushed under the rug and never so much as brought up again !!!

The scene didn’t need to make the cut at all, especially with the rerelease in royal, but it did and it’s honestly astonishing that with all the backlash it received, that they didn’t just cut it entirely. And if they really had to keep the scene in the game, let him be angry about it. Let Ryuji go off at the team for beating him up after he saves all of their lives. Let Ryuji tell Joker that he expected more from him as his best friend. Let the team have to jump through hoops to gain Ryuji’s forgiveness because it’s what he deserves.

Not only this, but in comparison to Junpei, Ryuji doesn’t get as much growth in his character arc. Throughout the game, Ryuji largely stays the same which honestly isn’t really an issue, not everyone has to change dramatically and drastically to be a compelling character, but he doesn’t change at all. Honestly, from the start to the end of 5, I could barely tell you a difference between the Ryuji we see. Like I said, I don’t need a drastic change, it doesn’t suit some characters, but Ryuji isn’t given any sort of growth by the writers and any he is given feels forced because he genuinely isn’t given any of the spotlight outside of Kamoshida’s arc unlike with Junpei.

It makes me angry because like I said, the writing was already there with Junpei, they had the capacity to write Ryuji in the same sympathetic way they did with him but they chose not to !! They chose to leave Ryuji as a character who you have no choice but to take at face value because he’s not given any more than that.

In conclusion: the writers dropped the ball with Ryuji and I’m mad about it, Junpei is a good character and I’ll fight anyone who disagrees, and Yosuke is Yosuke and I mourn his cut romance route every day.

[papika]

i have so many games i need to finish... god.

[ectohybrid]

TOGA HIMIKO HEADCANONS!!!!

from me, a very correct himiko fan :3

these are kinda sad so erm warning for that

no 1. she's intersex, specifically she has classic CAH. as someone who's intersex her childhood and the story really resonated w me so i hit her w the beam. sorry

no 2. due to being intersex she kinda feels othered from her friends. they don't really know her or what she's going through, quirk and otherwise, and it made her feel like some evil imposter already. she has always felt like the odd man out, like a wolf among sheep. it made her violently ill at times just thinking of spending time with them because she felt so bad for it. and she if she wasn't feeling bad about it, then her parents were shaming her about it as if it didn't plague her every day. girl was going through it

no 3. when she meets magne it's her first time being able to not only interact with another openly queer person but also the first time she's able to have a good girl friendship. they learn how they want to interact with femininity together, like in canon they're literally the sisters of all time. i love found family

no 4. since she wasn't able to be her true self for so long she's incredibly open about things, randomly spouting off thoughts and actions as she's doing them. this can be weird, from "i wonder if we're walking on unmarked graves right now and the dead guys are mad at us" to "i think i'm gonna poop in thirty minutes"

no 5. she loves a good horror movie, it's another thing she didn't really get to enjoy before leaving. in the league dabi of all people showed her jennifer's body and it's been her favorite movie since. she sometimes paces around in circles for a while replaying it in her head when she's stressed and can't watch it

no 6. despite her taste for blood and me drawing her eating raw meat, i don't think she'd like actual steak raw. if it's not charcoal she won't eat it. she's only eating her steak if it looks like dabi cooked it

no 7. when she still lived with her parents she had an online persona as her only release to be herself, and on there she and ochako were mooties :3 neither know that. one time himiko got online for the last time and posted "might not be on for a while, i'm sorry" and dipped. we all have that one old mootie who disappeared, she's ochako's now twice over

no 8. she likes to debate silly things, she sees debate as fun conversation and nothing personal. this has led to a ton of heated argument with the other person storming off and her standing there confused

no 9. she did have a brother, a twin brother, but her family made it nigh impossible for her to keep up with him. shigaraki, spinner, dabi, twice, they all take up the spot in her mind in different ways. she likes to watch shigaraki play games over his shoulder and not say anything till he's about to win- scares him out of his skin. he never lets her play with him though, and that's where spinner comes in. she'll play with him in the mha equivalent to cod and mario cart. dabi's that angsting brother role, and she likes to steal his jacket. he got her one that looked sorta like it, she wore it till it ruined beyond wearing, then dissected a stuffed animal and shoved inside as a keepsake. twice is a brother in the way the two naturally click in conversation, activities, everything. he'd be the twin she never had if she didn't have one

no 10. her twin is neito, the last time they ever spoke was a little interaction in public before he got into UA. she asked him if he wanted to catch up and he- out of fear of what their parents would say- ran. she didn't see him one on one like that ever again

[snakes-and-fluff]

Replaying P3P got me in a headcanon-y mood, and I wanted to share! So behold: Creepy SEES headcanons!

The gist is that the Dark Hour is so unnatural and strange that spending time in it alters one ever so slightly. The members of SEES still view each other as normal, but other people find themselves feeling weirded out around them... From staring off into the distance when nothing is there to having altered body functions, here's a list of specific headcanons I have for this idea:

-She might often miss against Shadows, but when it comes to regular archery practice against stationary targets, Yukari's clubmates notice that her accuracy seems downright unbelievable. In addition, she'll hardly blink when focusing on when to let her arrow fly, and her breathing rate slows down quite drastically.

-After going missing, Fuuka seemed... different when she returned. She never spoke up in class unless the teacher asked her a direct question, and her unfocused look would indicate that she isn't paying attention, but then she scores above-average on every test. Even among SEES, she is an odd one out - able to summon her Persona without her Evoker, and seemingly initiate communication with her even without summoning. After all, spending ten sequential hours in the Dark Hour has to have done... something. They can't explain it, but even after the events of Persona 3, just having Fuuka around reminds them of how the Dark Hour felt.

-One time in Home Ec class, Junpei's sleeve caught fire. A classmate of his, after not being to move in shock for a few moments, dumped water on it. Junpei's jumper was ruined, but his skin was entirely unharmed.

-Aigis is very beautiful, and it soon became common to hear people describe her as a doll. But the longer she attended Gekkoukan, the more unnerved everyone got. It was the sort of thing you felt you weren't supposed to notice, but drew your attention anyway: she always looked the same. Hair always in that exact same cut, never tousled or untidy. Uniform set perfectly, not a button out of place. For a while, her expression was like that too, but then she began to smile regularly. This should have been reassuring, but only made the other strangenesses stand out more.

-Everyone calls Mitsuru an ice queen because of her lineage and personality. Also, the room seems colder when she's in it. Much colder. Student council members take to wearing coats for meetings no matter what season it is.

-Nobody who was there could forget a certain boxing match. It was regionals against another school and the opponent was HUGE - actually towering over Akihiko. Akihiko landed a few good blows, but then the opponent's fist connected squarely with Akihiko's face, hitting the side of his jaw and splitting his lip. Akihiko didn't react. No sound, and no change in his expression. He just stepped back in and continued the fight, and was soon victorious. The crowd cheered and the referee raised his arm in victory, but for a few moments Akihiko still just stood there, eyes strangely vacant, almost seeming to glow.

-The protagonists have unnaturally cold hands. It's not dangerous (in fact they don't even notice it themselves), but anyone who touches/brushes their hands notices it instantly.

[personadripshowdown]

Hello and welcome to the Persona Drip Showdown!

In this tournament we will determine which outfits are the best in the persona franchise!

Currently only casual outfits from party members from 3-5 are competing, but if it’s well received I might do a second tournament were the school outfits can be compared.

Mod: Ney (she/her)

Asks : open!

Polls go out at 3 pm EST time!

Things to note and tags I will use are under read more!

Things to note:

I am currently only running casual outfits from party members in the three latest games. Winter, summer and 3rd semester outfits are included. Outfits that didn’t fit this category or were treading the line were not included. I may make a second tournament with school, dancing and other outfits after the first polls are finished!

No social link outfits were included since it was already a lot of “contestants” and not only would it make it a lot harder to keep track of all the polls it would be a pain to try to find images. I hope you all understand and arent too disappointed!

Sorry for bad pictures! All images were taken from google as I am not replaying all these games just to take screenshots of their outfits (also as I currently only have access to the switch versions of the games they wouldn’t exactly be of great quality either). I tried to find as good images as possible, this lead to most of p3 and p4s outfit being taken from the dancing game. I know that reload has slight differences in outfits compared to dancing, but finding images of them was a pain. Sorry for potentially low quality images (I had to use the megami tensei wiki to get them, and i am NOT going back there if I need to).

If I missed any outfits I am so sorry! I am only one person so I am doing all the work behind these polls, sadly that means I make mistakes every once in a while. If its cought in the early rounds I might be able to squeeze it in if we ever need something to even out the polls.

English is not my first language, sorry for potentially weird wording or grammar issues

Tags I use:

Polls: for polls!

I will tag the game and character that use the outfit in each poll

Round (x): will show what round the polls are currently on

Ask: for asks

Propaganda: any propaganda that people reblog or put in asks will be tagged with this!

Not a poll: any post that is not a poll!

Round results: after all the polls of a round are finished I will make a post detailing who makes it to the next round.

Persona showdown: i will be tagging all my posts with this

[punchdrunkdoc]

Part 2, Chapter 9

Summary: After the events of S3, Matt Murdock is trying to once again balance life as a lawyer and a vigilante. But he’s been scarred by loss and betrayal - will a mysterious new neighbour help him heal? Or will her secrets drag him back into the darkness?

Notes: This is a slow burn romance with an original female character, told in 3 parts. There is mystery, intrigue, action/violence and angst - all the good stuff!

Also available on AO3 and Wattpad

Masterlist

Reference pics

————–

PART 2

Chapter 9

Matt tried to hold on to his positivity over the next 24 hours. But it became increasingly difficult as the doubts started to multiply inside him.

It all started with a text message.

Or rather, with an ignored text message.

I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you left. Can you let me know you arrived okay? I’ll be safe out there, if you promise to do the same. Matt.

He sent it straight after he listened to Calina’s voicemail. But he didn’t get a reply.

He figured she must be tired from her journey to…wherever it was the Widows called home. He figured she would respond in a few of hours when she’d gotten some rest. But by mid morning, there was still nothing. So he sent another message.

 Hey, please text when you get the chance, to let me know you got there okay. I’m in the office all day, so I’ll have my phone with me.

 Nothing.

And after several more hours of compulsively checking his messages, unease started to grow. Was she safe? Had she made it back to the Widow’s base? Had gotten in trouble en route?

Or was something else going on?

He replayed her voicemail again, hunting for any clues that might explain the doubts he was now experiencing. Doubts about whether she was telling the truth when she said she’d be home soon.

But her voice sounded…fine.  Completely normal. There was no hint of anger, or evidence that she was upset or hurt.

She sounded fine.

But she’d been trained her whole life to pretend, hadn’t she? She’d been trained to lie. To create a false persona, and manipulate people with words. And he’d seen first hand how easily she was able to deceive him...

So maybe he couldn’t trust her words, or the calm tone of voice she spoke them in.

He listened again, even more carefully.

“I’m sorry to leave like this, but Yelena called. The Widows found something - about what happened to me - and they need my help with it. So I’m headed back to the base for a few days.

I’ll keep in touch - as much as I can.

I…um… ….

Nevermind.

Take care, Matt. Be safe out there.” 

That pause…She'd brushed it away with a murmured ‘Nevermind’, but there'd been a distinct pause. And the more he listened, the more he convinced himself that that pause was in fact filled with everything she wanted to say, but couldn’t.

Or wouldn’t.

That pause was the real message. The rest was fake. She was just pretending that her sudden departure was all about Widows' stuff and had nothing to do with his rejection of her.

Just like he pretended last night that he hadn’t rejected her at all.

Shit!

He needed to drop his pretence, so that she’d drop hers. He needed to be honest, so that she would be honest in return.

He still didn’t know what to say about what happened between them. But it was starting to feel imperative that he say something. So after getting home from work, he dialled her number.

But it just rang and rang and rang.

His nerves taut with unease, he hung up and typed out another message:

 I’m sorry for last night. At the gym. And I’m sorry for afterwards, for pretending it didn’t happen. Please call me when you get the chance, Calina. We need to talk. I want to fix this between us. Please.

 After another few hours of silence, he sent a final message before heading out for the night as Daredevil.

 Please call. I miss you.

 It was the truth. But that fucking wall around his heart fought him on even that measly amount of honesty. His gloved finger hovered over the send button for a long time before he finally found the courage to push it.

Then he switched off his phone, unable to bear the silence emanating from it any longer.

When he turned it back on in the morning - after a brutal night on the streets and a restless night alone in their bed - he was greeted with more of that damning silence. And by the time he got to work, his unease had turned into full blown panic. He paced his office, his phone pressed against his ear as he listened to Calina’s phone ring out. 

The moment Foggy and Karen arrived, he marched into the front office and ambushed them. “Did Calina say anything the other night?”

“Good morning to you too, Matt,” Foggy teased as he shrugged out of his coat.

“This is important, Fog. Did she say anything?”

Karen answered instead. “She said she had a headache, so she left early. We never really got a chance to talk to her.”

“I offered to walk her home, but she said she was fine by herself,” Foggy added. “Why? What’s going on?”

“She left," Matt replied. "She left me."

“What? What do you mean?”

“She wasn’t there when I got home. She left me a voicemail saying the Widows had a lead on what happened to her so she needed to go back to them for a few days. But I haven’t heard from her since and I’ve been calling and texting…”

He waited for their reassurances. For an ‘I’m sure she’s okay’ or ‘its probably nothing’. But there was just a heavy silence. And he sensed the two of them looking at each other, concern radiating from them.

As well as…guilt?

“What is it?” he asked. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“When she came back from the bathroom that night, she looked upset,” Karen said. “And just before that, Foggy and I had been talking about…We were worried that she might have overheard us, because she left straight after.”

Matt got a sinking feeling in his gut. “What were you talking about?”

Karen twisted her clasped hands and Foggy shifted on his feet.

“What the hell were you talking about?” Matt repeated, his voice louder now.

“We were talking about you and Elektra,” Karen replied, her voice unsteady.

“I was talking about you and Elektra,” Foggy clarified, stepping in front of her. “Karen was just listening to my theory.”

“Your theory?” Matt bit out. “What exactly is your theory?”

“That because you’re still in love with Elektra, you’re maybe - subconsciously - using Calina as a way to make up for not saving her.”

“Jesus, Foggy! What the fuck?” Matt turned on his heel and raced back into his office.

“She might not have heard!” Foggy called from behind him.

But Matt knew the truth.

She heard.

It explained why she’d suddenly left and why she wasn’t taking his calls.

Fuck!

This was a nightmare.

He grabbed his phone off his desk and mashed the redial button. He needed to speak with her. He needed to tell her that Foggy’s theory was complete and total bullshit. He needed to beg her forgiveness and plead with her to come home.

He needed to hear her voice and know that he hadn’t lost her forever.

He listened to her phone ring and ring, but this time he didn't hang up.

He wouldn't.

He would keep calling until she finally answered.

 ———

 “Will you answer that thing, or fucking chuck it out the window or something?” Yelena growled.

Calina had already muted the ringtone, but the sound of the phone vibrating in her pocket was audible in the room. It had been ringing on and off for what felt like hours - and every time she declined the call, another one would come through minutes later.

Matt wasn’t taking the hint.

He’d texted her again a couple of hours ago, so at least she knew why he was being so insistent.

 I know you heard what Foggy said at the bar. It’s not true, Calina. Please answer the phone so I can explain. Please.

 She’d read that message a million times, but couldn’t bring herself to believe his words. He was just feeling guilty, that was all. He was a good man - a good, Catholic man - it was natural for him to feel guilty about hurting her.

“You know I can’t answer it,” Calina sighed. “And I can’t turn it off or ‘chuck it out the window’ - I’m still waiting to hear back from Melina.”

Yelena typed a quick message on her own phone then held it up. “Problem solved. Melina will text me with the dosage, so can you please do something about that phone?”

Calina nodded and powered off the device. Everyone in the room groaned in relief, causing Calina to duck her head in embarrassment.

Inessa, one of the youngest members of the group raised her hand. “I must have missed something - why exactly are you ignoring Matt?”

To Calina’s surprise - and consternation - every single Widow now knew about Matt. 

Anya couldn’t keep her mouth shut about him being Daredevil - which they all thought was pretty cool - and then Yelena told them all Calina was living with him - which they found even cooler.

She was the first of them to try to make a life for herself. The first to get a job. The first to get her own apartment.

And the first to live with a man.

They were all fascinated.

And it completely unnerved Calina. It was as if they were all looking to her to set an example. To show them the way. To show them it was possible to leave the life of a Widow behind. It was a big responsibility - with a hell of a lot of pressure attached.

And she felt like she was failing.

“Yeah,” Sofia chimed in. She was another Widow from Calina’s cohort, but they’d never spoken much growing up. Sofia came across as very…intense. “What happened between you two?

Calina looked around the room. The Widows were camped out in the main living space as they waited to hear back from Melina. The older Widow had developed her own version of a truth serum and they were going to try it out on the man downstairs. But she needed to calibrate the dosage first - apparently there was a fine line between getting answers and causing a cardiac arrest.

The mission was going smoothly so far. Calina had ridden her motorcycle through the night and had arrived at the Widow’s temporary operational base outside Washington just before sunrise. She’d managed to grab five hours of - restless - sleep on one of the empty cots, then she’d joined the other Widows for the strategy session.

That night, she’d suited up, and joined the team to infiltrate Volkov’s residence.

And it had been easy as hell. Almost too easy.

Volkov was either supremely arrogant or extremely stupid, because he was living alone, with no bodyguards or security personnel. Which meant the eight-strong Widow strike team that extracted him seemed like massive overkill.

They’d transported him blindfolded and sedated to the mansion in South Carolina, and now he was tied up in a fortified room in the basement, guarded by Anya and another Widow named Alyona. The rest of them were taking a break while they waited for the next step in the plan. 

They made a strange sight, lounging around the cream-coloured mansion in their Black Widow suits. Combat boots were resting on the antique oak coffee table in the centre of the room, and various guns and weapons were stowed on the mantle over the ornate fireplace, battling for space with chintzy knicknacks and floral-scented candles.

It was a stark juxtaposition - one the other Widows didn’t seem to find as jarring as Calina did. But she’d had the benefit of living in the ‘real’ world for the past few months, where people didn’t dress in black neoprene jumpsuits while relaxing around the house.

She looked down at her own jumpsuit, and grimaced. She’d reverted right back to the Widow’s mindset the moment she’d left New York. She even had her hair in braids.

A lifetime of habit was hard to break.

“Calina?” Inessa said, interrupting her thoughts. “Do you not want to talk about it?”

Inessa was a relatively shy girl, and so petite and slender. She must have had skills - there was no way she’d have gotten through the Red Room otherwise - but she always looked so fragile and delicate to Calina. She brought out all of Calina’s protective instincts.

And, unfortunately, Calina could never resist indulging her questions. Maybe that was Inessa’s hidden skill.

“There’s not much to tell,” Calina replied, trying to downplay the hurt and humiliation she was feeling. “I misunderstood what was between us, that’s all.”

It was the same line she’d given Yelena and Anya when they’d met her in Washington yesterday. They’d accepted it with a nod, but Inessa wasn't put off so easily. “What do you mean?”

“I…,” Calina was spared from answering when Yelena’s phone pinged and everyone sprang back into action-mode.

“It’s from Melina.” Yelena confirmed, reading the message. “Sofia and Kira, you take this and start prepping the drug, we’ll follow you down.” She handed them her phone, and they took off running for the basement. The rest of the team filtered out of the room, leaving Calina alone with Yelena and Katya. 

Yelena marched ahead, intent on starting the interrogation, but Katya stopped Calina with a gentle hand on her arm. “I know there something more going on between you and Matt than a mere misunderstanding,” Katya said softly. “You can talk to me if you want.”

She took Calina’s hand and gave it a supportive squeeze. The move took Calina by surprise - the Widows weren’t demonstrative people and usually only touched each other during sparring sessions. But she was learning that - away from the Red Room, and out from under the control of the serum - Katya was a very caring and empathetic person. The simple, kind touch made her feel like they were becoming true friends.

And it made her want to open up. She just wasn’t sure where to start. “I…we…,” she faltered.

“What is it? What happened?”

“I…I fell in love,” she whispered. “And he didn’t. He barely even saw me as a friend.” Saying the words aloud hurt. They wrenched something deep in her chest, and caused tears to gather at the back of her eyes.

“Oh, Calina. Are you sure?”

She let out a bitter laugh. “That I love him? Yes, unfortunately.”

“No, I meant that he doesn’t love you back. We saw the two of you together, remember? It was clear that he cared about you very much.”

“No offence, but what do you know about reading other people’s feelings? What do any of us know?  We never grew up seeing love and care and affection. We don’t know what it looks like. I know what it feels like, but I don’t know what it looks like. And I made the mistake with Matt of misinterpreting his basic sense of compassion and responsibility for something much more. I was a fool, Katya.”

“Don’t say that.”

Calina pulled away from the other Widow. “I know you guys want me to trail-blaze some path for you all, but I’m floundering out there. It’s so hard. Nothing in our training prepared us for it. I can play a role and pretend to be someone else in my sleep, but I have no idea how to be me. I have no idea how to deal with all these…feelings…I keep having.”

Katya frowned. “I’m so sorry. We all just assumed you were happy out there. That you were thriving away from all…this.”

“I was happy. For a while.” She crossed her arms over her chest and kicked at the ground. “You know that proverb, ‘After a storm comes fair weather; after sorrow comes joy’? I think it should be the other way around, ‘After joy comes sorrow’.”

“I’m sorry,” Katya said again. She shrugged, and gave Calina a sad smile. “I don’t know what else to say.”

“That’s okay. Thanks for listening.”

“That’s what sisters are for.” Katya hooked an arm through Calina’s and the two of them started walking towards the basement. After a few moments of silence, Katya spoke again. “What is it like?” she asked shyly.

“What?”

“Being in love?”

Calina thought back to that moment in the gym - the moment of realisation, before she’d leaned towards Matt and ruined everything - when her feelings had finally crystallised. Then she tried to put it into words.. “It’s…its like that sensation you get when you jump out of an airplane - that weightless, exhilarating, heart-pumping thrill. You feel like you’re on top of the world and can do anything. But when its unrequited love, its like your parachute never opened and you collided with the ground at a million miles an hour.”

“Oh,” Katya said quietly. “So it’s wonderful, but it also kind of sucks.”

“Yeah. It really, really sucks.”

 ———

 Never had a man suited his name better than Maxim Volkov.

In English, it translated to Great Wolf, and he embodied that moniker completely. He was a big man, with a wild, predatory look to his eyes. Even strapped to a chair, with several guns trained on him, he looked calm and in control as he sized up the Widows surrounding him.

He barely spared a glance as Sofia prepped his arm and administered the truth serum. She was the medic of the group - trained from a young age in combat surgery to assist in missions. She had a terrible bed-side manner, but a steady pair of hands and an encyclopaedic knowledge of medicine. 

“How long until it takes affect?” Yelena asked. She was sitting cross-legged on the counter that ran along the wall directly in front of Volkov. The basement had originally been used as a laundry room, but the Widows had removed all the washers and dryers, and embedded hooks for restraints in the ceiling and the tiled floor. It looked exactly like what it was - an interrogation chamber.

No, a torture chamber.

Because that’s what they were about to do - torture this man. Not using violence, but by cracking open his mind against his will. And no one knew how torturous that was than the Widows in this room.

Yelena relished the idea - she was dying to turn the tables on the men of the Red Room - but Calina felt uncomfortable.

She kept wondering what Matt would think of all this.

She knew he wasn’t averse to using brutal tactics to get answers - she’d seen him beat people for information on the streets. But there was something��honest about that method. This felt too underhanded. Too close to the Red Room tactics.

And she wanted to be better than that. 

But at heart, she was a pragmatist, and she knew that taking the high road had never gotten anyone, anywhere. The Widows needed answers. They needed to know how much of a threat they faced - their survival depended on it - and this was the best method available to them. A member of the Red Room would be able to withstand threats of violence and physical pain. But no one could withstand this serum - at least, according to its creator.

“Melina said it would be fairly instantaneous,” Sofia answered.

“Melina Vostokoff?" Volkov asked, his Russian accent thick with distain. "That traitorous bitch? I used to jerk off when I thought about her back in the day - she filled out her suit like no other Widow. Now I just want to put a bullet through her conniving brain.”

The Widows looked at each other, surprised by the candid revelation.

“I guess its working,” Katya remarked.

“Good,” Yelena said. “Let’s see what he knows.”

It turned out, he knew a lot. And none of it was good.

“How many Red Room personnel are still alive?” Yelena asked at one point.

Volkov smiled. “Enough.”

“Be more specific,” Yelena bit out.

“Dreykov had a secret faction of Red Room operatives that worked just for him - off the books and away from the prying eyes of the Kremlin. They survived your little purge after Dreykov’s fall because you had no idea they existed - very few did.”

“But you did.”

“Yes. I’ve always been privy to Dreykov’s secrets. He treated me like a younger brother. And now that he’s gone, I intend to continue the family business.”

“But you were just a handler. You weren’t upper management.”

“Just a handler? Or a man of many talents who went where Dreykov needed, and did what needed to be done?”

“So what was the plan in South Korea? Why was that mission important enough to need your oversight?”

“The Japanese Ambassador was embezzling billions of won from the South Koreans. Dreykov wanted me to steal it from him. After the Red Room fell, I continued the mission, in an attempt to get the money for myself and my faction.” He leered at Katya as he continued answering Yelena's question. “But you stole my little Widow from me, and I had to come up with a Plan B.”

“You had to come up with the plan? So you’re the man in charge of this new faction?”

“Yes. Congratulation, ladies. You won the jackpot.” He leaned back in his chair and stretched his legs out as far as his restraints would allow. He looked like he was relaxing in front of the television after a hard day at work, and it started to give Calina a bad feeling. He was too at ease. He didn’t seem to care that he was revealing all this information. He didn’t seem bothered by their questions or the fact that he was answering them against his will. She wondered if there was a sedative effect to the truth serum…but even before it had been administered, he’d been eerily calm.

What did he know that made him so confident?

Yelena continued with her questioning. If she was unnerved by Volkov’s manner, she didn’t show it. “Did that ‘Plan B’ have something to do with what happened to Calina?”

Volkov sighed. “No. Aminev went rogue with that. He was nothing but a common thief. He stole some serum and some tech and decided to go it alone. He betrayed the ideology.”

“How did Aminev find her?”

Volkov’s smile turned feral. “We never lost her. We never lost any of you.”

Calina’s bad feeling exploded into outright panic. And she could feel it rippling through the other Widows in the room.

Even Yelena sounded shaken. “What do you mean?”

“Did you think those chips you dug out of your thighs was our only way of tracking you?” He shook his head, as if disappointed. “You little fools. You’ve been on the grid this entire time. You only had the illusion of freedom. And once we finish manufacturing enough serum to get you all back under control, we’re going to round you up and shatter that illusion.”

He shrugged, and spread his hands. “Or maybe it’ll happen sooner. They’ll be coming for me, you know. Once I miss my check in, the rest of my team will figure out what happened. Then they’ll come for me. And all they’ll have to do is follow the little dots on their screens…all the way to the South Carolina coast.”

———

CHAPTER 10

These next couple of chapters are for all of you who enjoy the ‘Unofficial Black Widow Sequel’ aspect of this fic...

@hollandorks @yanna-banana @stilldreaming666 @tearoseart-blog @chezagnes​ @freckledbabyyy​ @acharliecoxedfan​

[lostrealities0]

Hello! Couple weeks ago you sent me an ask about my interests, and I indicated that I might do the same at some point. I have thought of some questions, so I'm going to ask you them. There is of course no pressure to answer them, and infodumping is welcomed and encouraged.

(1) Which Scientific Field is your favorite, and Why? (If none perhaps consider listing your least favorite and why)

(2) What is your favorite thing about each of the turtles? (tmnt turtles, not regular ones) Whether it be a physical trait, a behavior, a mental trait, something in common with you, etc.

(3) Do you perhaps currently have or in the past have had a fun hobby you'd care to infodump about or simply declare your interest in?

(4) [Very very very optional cuz I don't know what you're comfortable telling the internet] How's life treating you?

Have a Wonderful Day and/or Night!

Hi!! Sorry for taking a while, the past couple of days were pretty busy 😅 Thank you so much for the questions!

1. My favorite scientific field is biopsychology! I love learning about the nervous system and how the body works. I've always enjoyed psychology but actually knowing what is happening on the inside is fascinating to me. I like understanding what causes certain reactions. Even though emotions are often seen as an illogical thing, they actually can be quite logical.

2. I was going to answer for both Rottmnt and Mutant Mayhem (as those were the only versions I've seen), but decided that would be too long. Instead, you shall have my answers for Rottmnt.

Raph: Oooooh this is a hard one. I love everything about his design, especially his snaggletooth. However, I think my favorite thing about his is how gentle and sweet he is. Kind of a side note but I love how the portray him. He is an antithesis to toxic masculinity and they don't make it a big deal. All his hobbies and traits are treated like normal, because they are! I'm not great with words so I'm struggling a bit to translate my thoughts, but I hope that made sense.

Mikey: My favorite thing about him is easily his different personas. I love how blunt Dr Delicate Touch is, and the seminar with Dr Feelings? I was having a blast. I love how he finds ways to express different sides of him, while still being himself.

Donnie: ...Do I have to choose one? I love his personality, his design, his tech. Everything about him is my favorite. If I had to choose... My favorite aspects of him is his genuine laugh and how silly he can be. Two clips that replay in my head all the time is when he imitates Mrs. Cuddles and starts laughing, and when he yells "sad face emoji!"

Leo: I relate to him way to much. His insecurities, how he copes and presents himself....yeah this hits home pretty closely. I also love how confident he is. Yes, a portion of it is a facade, but I believe there is a lot that is genuine. I don't think I can choose something specific, so I will cheat and say that his personality is my favorite thing about him.

3. Somewhat recently, I acquired an interest in creating languages. As a kid, I loved codes and made a substitution cipher with it's own letters but I didn't think making an actual language was possible. However, about a year ago I came across an instagram reel about a girl who created her own language. This introduced me to conlang.

Since then, I've been working on a language on and off. While making a conlang doesn't necessarily have to be hard, I am a masochist (/j) and decided make things more difficult. For example, instead of staying with a base 10 system, my language has a base 13 system. There are different symbols in replace of capitals, each used in certain situations. I always make jokes about how complicated and hard it can be but in the end, I do have a lot of fun with it.

4. Big picture: life is pretty good. As you saw, I just graduated. I'm enrolled in my college classes for next year, two of which I'm really excited for. I also will be getting my license in a month after years of having my permit.

Little picture: I am very tired. I had family visit last week, which meant I had to be around people the whole time. I'm an introvert who has the house to himself for most of the day, everyday. Additionally, I don't like it when normal changes, especially when it's at home. As much as I love family, I always dread when they visit.

Everything is good now though :)

[three--rings]

So I finished Persona 3 Reload last night.

Great game. I think personally, my Persona games rankings are 5, 3, 4. I know that might be controversial. And it's not that I didn't like 4, but I connect a lot more to the characters of 5, and I really like the mood/themes of 3. 4 is fun and the story is good, but IDK.

Course it could just be because 3 is recent in my mind and I'd change my ranking if/when I replay 4. But I guess I'm just edgy and like the dark shit.

Obviously I can't compare Reload to the previous versions of 3, not having played them, but it was really great. The animations were super impressive and voice acting, mechanics, honestly just great across the board. I do wish we could have the female MC option, though. I'd love to replay with that.

Looking forward to the DLC in September.

Oh, so I'll share the theory I had for like the first half of playing: I was convinced MC/Makoto was a robot. Like after Aigis was introduced, I was like, OH he's SO a secret robot. Like, he's all unemotional and has this totally mysterious past where it seems like he just APPEARED coming into town. IDK it worked in my head.

Obviously I was wrong. But that would be a fun protagonist twist.

I romanced Mitsuru, mainly because she's just hot and my taste. Second runner up was Fuuka.

About the ending:

I sorta anticipated that he would die at the end. It made sense with the theme. And so in the final battle, when he sacrificed himself I was all, yup, I get it, cool. And I had seen some comments online that made me think I was correct about how it was gonna go.

And then he came back and I was like, okay I guess I was wrong?

But then everyone we talked to said "you're not looking good" and I was like "OH okay." And then I got to the actual end and was all "Did we just...die? It was kinda unclear."

But I did check and okay yeah. I mean it really only makes sense that he dies. I absolutely love the theme of death in this game and accepting death when it's unavoidable and finding meaning in it...

Anyway, I was going to replay BG3 next but Little Kitty Big City is on Gamepass, so I've already started that. I've been waiting like a year for it and it's so freaking cute.

[sarasa-cat]

Even though I am still in a state of bittersweet-sad feels over watching the end of Persona 5 Royal last night, the current gaming roster for upcoming months (and we are sllllow, so months usually means the whole damn year or more) features:

1. CD Projekt Red extravaganza

2. Stardew Valley 1.5 vs 1.6 in cozy play mode

3. "Find all the things I never saw before" on-and-off playthrough of Disco Elysium

...

So, in short, we still aren't up to 2024 (other than the SDV 1.6 release happening tomorrow) bc ... free time? Where do I find more of it? (Can video games be sold with time off on my calendar so I have time to play them??)

Partner has never played Witcher 3 so that is the MAIN EVENT on the big screen TV on evenings when we are both free (not often tbh, but when it occurs, big screen gaming sometimes happens).

I have been ITCHING to replay CP2077 with all of the new content from last year, autumn, so this week I need to figure out how to share saves between Steam and the Playstation 5, if that is at all possible. If not, hmmmmm. Bc partner wants to see all of the new content and a full playthrough too.

Stardew Valley (1.5 release) on my iPad (disaster farmer) continues as a cozy activity, plus when 1.6 drops tomorrow on Steam I'll be restarting my Highly Goal Driven Organized Farmer's game, since she's only in mid-summer of year 1 right now anyhow.

Disco Elysium continues on and off via my steamdeck -- restarted that game a few weeks ago and playing a talking-tie Harry with a lot of WooWooZanyTimes vibes. Purposefully trying to see content that I never saw during my initial playthrough.

And.... various indie games as I see fit, tbd. Especially if they are short and time-constrained.

Strangely, FF7 part 2 is just going to need to wait for a while.

Still looking for time to properly play BG3. I have too many partially completed Act 1 variants of the same character and so little desire to replay all of the parts of Act 1 I have already played so might put that on ice until it once again feels fresh.

Mmmm.

Gamin'

[pikespendragon67]

AND NOW, Time for Another Pikes Check-In Update Thingamajig!!!

Basically this is just where I post current interests/events in life to see if other people are currently sharing the same interest, or if people just wanna catch up on things.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO:

What I'm Watching

Seasonal anime: Summer season's just starting so of the ones that caught my interest at the moment are the following

Might see if Helck is good when it airs

I'm getting tempted to reactivate my Netflix account for My Happy Marriage but ehhh maybe when Beastars airs again. I do like stories where characters go through absolute shit but get better lives and heal from their experiences

Undead Murder Farce: I really like the character designs, and I love the snark of the protagonists. Hopefully it's like Appare Ranman but with Victorian England instead of 1910s-1930s America

Jujustu Kaisen season 2: Sucks that the airing schedule seems to be whack (first 5 episodes will be normal, but then it's gonna be on hiatus until like. October) but I love the OP, ED, character interactions, and the Digimon joke.

Bleach TYBW: Bleach was my choice of shounen as a youth and it's got me in an iron grip of nostalgia. Is the writing terrible at times? Yes! Do I still love it? Yes...for certain characters nowadays

Apparently Nier Automata's making a comeback? Hope so. It was hinting at big stuff when it last got hiatus'ed

MAL says Dungeon Meshi is gonna air this season but I doubt that

I'm also gonna watch the new Superman cartoon since a friend's letting me borrow another friend's Max account (I COULD technically reactive my account, but I hate how WB cut most of their projects & library for tax write-offs). And I'm 2 episodes away from finishing Iruma season 3, so once I'm done with that, it's onto Saiki K to watch during my lunch breaks when there isn't a seasonal anime to watch. ...Though I'm kinda wondering if I should swap it for Nanbaka now... Eh I already had the poll, so might as well stick to the poll until I finish Big O

What I'm Playing:

Just finished the 2nd labyrinth of Persona Q. I'm not really looking forward to replaying the 3rd labyrinth since it's horror themed. (Plus this was around the time I actually had to start playing with a guide because of a few FOE puzzles. Gonna be distracting to do so as I play). That being said I love that this combines EO dungeon exploration with Persona combat. Makes me wonder if I should try to get back to EO4 or see if I should get EO3 on modern consoles

Other potential interests: Ghost Trick (got the special edition right when I was in the middle of my Persona Q replay), 999 on Vita (solves the issue of not being able to play the updated version at work), possibly get back to Personas 2-5 (after I read the manga for the first game; keep forgetting to do that), maybe explore my Steam library since I have a few games there now thanks to the summer sale, maybe get back to playing Fantasy Life until I get to Al Majiik (though I forgot how tedious it is to grind for jobs). Just man. While I'm sad there's no FEMC for the P3 remake, I'm still super excited for it

Though with that being said it feels weird to buy games I already own just on different consoles. It'd be one thing if there were remakes/reboots, but nah. I just have Nier on both PS4 and Steam now. Game collecting's a weird hobby, but one I enjoy nonetheless

Other Stuff:

Anxiety spiked a bit today after seeing discourse start to pop up here again & cringing at past mistakes I've made, hence the checkup post you see now

While I'm cool with my job, I don't like how it consumes so much of my free time/energy. If I can get paid enough to work 4 days without me having to do 10 hour work days, that'd be pretty neat

Barbie movie's in a few weeks oh boy

Another con's happening at the end of the month, but it will be like 3 hours away. Gonna go with a friend then but hopefully my car sickness doesn't kill me.

Then the next con I definitely want to go to is in September

And after that I'm gonna see Hadestown with another friend

Not sure what to do for a Halloween shindig with friends. And it might be the brainrot talking but I kinda wanna go as Shinjiro from Persona 3? Though I also want my coworkers to recognize my costume, so I might need to start looking for Vampire Hunter D attire now.

THUS ENDS THE CHECKUP!

[suuho]

Top 3 kpop mvs from the 2000s

hey!! thank you so much [: this got long, so without further ado...

1. bigbang, haru haru.

it's literally this and then [BRICK WALL] like, this music video literally changed the trajectory of kpop, it became a viral moment that lasted until, like, 2010. it catapulted bigbang to international stardom. i desperately cannot stress enough how this music video and song is a moment, and a high, that kpop is still chasing to this day and that they might never reach again. absolutely, purely organic genius. the brilliance of haru haru is how absolutely earnest it is with its very own melodrama. the acting. the conflict. oh my god, that story line. this is maybe the greatest kpop music video ever, just because it is impossible to replicate now. this changed lives. it did a lot to put kpop on the map. and it is just perfect as it is, and as a time capsule. i watched this approximately 3655467287 times in 2010 alone. i think people who know how iconic and influential bigbang are only ever choose fantastic baby or bang bang bang as examples, but haru haru is what turned them into yg's biggest superstars before inflated numbers, streams, etc. it's hard to explain if you weren't there, to be honest. on another note, i am pretty sure that gtop fight was my gay awakening, lol. another bigbang entry that just missed the mark because it was released in 2010: tell me goodbye. literally a masterpiece. narrative! CINEMATOGRAPHY! that top verse i can still recite word for word! a perfect marriage of everything that makes japanese kpop offerings impeccable. i carried a picture of that gdragon in my school diary until i graduated high school, lol. (choices, i know)

2. 2pm, heartbeat

i wanted to go with mirotic first, but i think heartbeat did the same things done in mirotic, just better. first of all, this music video does not rely on any narrative or any gimmicks, and it is still so well done. the angles and camera pans here, the obstructed shots, the lens flares. the contrast between the industrial gray and the eery, hollow white set. that choreography. this is so purely, undistilled 2nd gen kpop but in, like, a gothic fantasia. the atmosphere of this video is almost creepy which serves the song perfectly, and it is carried by performance, lights, and camera alone. i would have almost chosen again&again, because it does have a story line, but i actually think heartbeat's directive choices are so much better, and far superior. it is such an interesting music video just because how it is shot in a way that makes it visually appealing while simultaneously a little off-kilter. amazing. no notes. 100000/10 beast is not here, by the way, because if i would have chosen anything, it would have been shock, but heartbeat is once again the better offering of a similar style.

3. g-dragon, heartbreaker

one more masterclass. i am sorry, but this is another one of those insane offerings. the production design here is off the charts, the checkerboard heart eye-make up and bleached hair immediately became a signature hallmark look, the choreography is so memorable yet perfectly in sync with g-dragon's artistic persona. this music video felt insanely expensive back in 2009, and deviated from the nitty-gritty of that era. it was colorful, catchy, and immediately, insanely recognizable. replay factor? through the roof, especially with that breathe teaser making it a two-piece. also, the apple imagery was just another stroke of genius. like, this felt like watching a superstar emerge into the scene with that intro. "I'm all by myself, but it's all good," like yeah, sure, is this cringy as hell? absolutely. could anyone else pull this off in the year of our lord 2024? never, but it works perfectly here. the sci-fi influences. the masked dancers. oh my god. we will never have something this earnest, unironic, serious and yet glossy and campy.

3. shinee, ring ding dong

did you really think you would not find shinee here? c'mon now. what is there to say about this music video that hasn't been said yet. the wings. the choreography that the entirety of korea knows by heart. this made shinee my instant ults, my instant biases. dancing in the water!!! the concise color palette, the grays and reds, the hairstyles getting progressively more disheveled. watching jonghyun in this music video for the first time (and to this day) was like watching a miracle appear right in front of your eyes, that sort of gravitas and charisma is rare to come by and i am afraid there will never be anyone else quite like that. truly, one of a kind and just an insane moment in time to live through. how, in a way, unpolished this music video and their performance is is precisely why it is one of the greatest things ever. you can literally see them launching straight into their stage and performance genius from this. it's so crazy. this is like watching history being written, which is why it is one of the best kpop mvs of that decade.

honorable mention: sorry sorry by super junior. a perfectly slick, chrome fever dream that could be a commercial for all i know. i am sorry (hah) but when this song comes on, every ounce of, like, common sense leaves my body and i am stuck in this 4:17 true kpop marvel. it is just perfect. the production of this music video and this song. the aspect ratio (slay). the black and white. that tastefully measured autotune because suju has like maybe 3 decent vocalists. the group choreography shots look tight as hell, especially at the end. the last 15 seconds of this music video look just. fucking amazing. sorry, yeah, it had to be here.

ask me my top 3 anything, kpop edition 💌

[itsracc]

"Stronger ties you have, the more power you gain.

You are not alone any more."

- persona 4 the animation

The quotes so simple, it links to the series' system of power gain but is also a quiet commentary on how our social links can make life easier in our lives

The game has many similar quotes, scenarios and dialogues that are impactful, but this one caught my interest

I never understood persona 4's plot fully as whenever i replay it or read more about it, i find so many new details that i was previously unaware of. I understood most things about it, including concepts like: seeing through the fog of lies and vagueties in our lives in order to attempt an unbiased judgement, and being true to yourself, and I loved the characters' self actualization and the development of their fears and the embracing of the shadow self, thats often hidden from the public eye

Over the past 3 years I've finally understood another message of it through this one silly quote that plays before the mc is going to struggle. The quote, also can be interpreted as sharing a burden with others and mutual soul strengthening

Each character goes through a separate struggle, but, all of them find that the acceptance of their fears instead of ignoring them helps them to grow as a person whilst embracing their shadow

the shadow is the self's emotional blind spot, I could go into detail about it, but it would double the posts length, so I'll hold off

One example of an emotional development through vulnerability that I'll bang on about until my life on this planet fades, Kanji Tatsumi

A stereotypical thug, who is known to fight those around him and have a short and vulgar temper

When faced with his shadow, who appears to be a stereotyped homosexual who claims to fear women, initially he rejects it as he doesnt want to face the fear of homosexual tenancies, although eventually after seeing those around him protecting him and fighting for his sake, he accepts those fears as a part of him, we also find out that this fear stems from the fact that he enjoys making cutesy items and is scared of rejection, therefore he avoids women, the public eye and gets flustered easily by those who give him attention without prejudice (including naoto who is percieved as a male at this point in time)

Throughout his social link we learn that his violent actions were in order to protect his mother and ensure her health and safety, we also see him slowly embrace the more cutesy side of himself by sharing his passion with friends, family and those who wouldn't see him differently as a result

You may be wondering, "how does this relate to the quote?"

Kanji, and many others first open up to Yu (the protag), then slowly their social group, and then eventually traits that were once hidden are expressed casually and openly, and as their social link expands and we learn more about each character, frequently they'll grow stronger as a result in dialogue and even in combat

Stronger ties you have

The closer you are to those around you that care

The more power you gain

The stronger you can slowly become through expressing yourself outwardly,

You are not alone any more

As you don't need to suffer alone, and can hopefully find comfort and safety in those around you

Over the past 3 years I've been helped every day by those around me, even the small things that they don't even realise and that may seem insignificant, have impacted me positively and hugely, and even though social webs might change, split or even expand.

Although ultimately, one thing that I found out was that: when you find people who give a shit about you, everything becomes a lot easier

[leavesofmaple]

I haven't filled out one of these in a hot second. Just an overview of my favorite video games.

Favorite Game of all Time- I don't have an all time fav, so I had to go with a game that I think about a lot, and intend to replay every five years

Favorite Series- Again, I couldn't pick a single one. There are more series that would have qualified, but they were mentioned elsewhere on the list (Danganronpa, Life is Strange, etc.)

Best Soundtrack- This was close, between Assassin's Creed Black Flag, Undertale, and The Witcher 3.

Favorite Protagonist- There might be better written protagonists, but I have the most fun playing as Zagreus in Hades.

Favorite Villain- This one is purely nostalgia. I was obsessed with Kingdom Hearts in high school, and Marly was my fav Orgy XIII boy.

Best Story- Another category with a lot of contenders, but in the end I had to give it to Virtue's Last Reward for its non-linear, branching narrative that includes the best use of time travel I've seen in any story, ever.

Have not played but want to- I've been meaning to try Persona for years. I'll get around to it eventually, I swear!

You Love Everyone Hates- Mask of Eternity is considered the black sheep of the King's Quest family, but I really enjoyed its open-world, horror adventure setting.

You Hate Everyone Loves- On paper Baldur's Gate should be right up my alley, but I found the UI and gameplay mechanics too obtuse to function. I still intend to give Baldur's Gate 3 a shot!

Best Art Style- Square Enix's 2.5D pixel JRPGs are gorgeous, and Octopath Traveler II is the perfect encapsulation of this.

Favorite Ending- I have never seen an ending completely recontextualize the series it came from the way the final chapter of Danganronpa V3 did.

Favorite Boss Fight- This was tough, because I wanted to say the Sans fight, but I never actually played the Genocide route in Undertale. Between the Pacifist route and the Neutral route, the battle that stood out the most to me was the Asgore fight, because the King of the Monsters reaches through the UI and destroys the Mercy button at the beginning of the fight, so you have no choice but to fight him. Absolutely haunting.

Childhood Game- Gotta give it up to the ray gun wielding kid from Wisconsin, Commander Keen.

Relaxing Game- I am never not in the mood to play Stardew Valley.

Stressful Game- I haven't made much progress in Cuphead ^_^; It's a beautiful game though!

Game you always come back to- Someone seriously needs to release a remaster of The Neverhood. I don't have Windows 97 anymore, so I haven't played it in over a 15 years D:

Guilty Pleasure- I was originally going to put an otome game here, but none stood out in particular, so I went with the games I've currently been binging: The Ace Attorney series.

Tons of Hours Played- I currently have 465 hours in Fire Emblem Three Houses. I will probably replay it again in the future (For sure the Blue Lions route, at the very least).

[rocksinmuffin]

yoooo theodore needs all the love <3 hope you enjoy the game!

Thank you!!!! I’m enjoying it a lot so far.

Genuinely wild to me that this is the only persona game they have ever done where you can play as a girl. (Not talking about the other game series, I’m pretty sure you can play as a game in some of those but the vibes are different.) Persona 5 is the only game I have from the series to compare it to, and while it lacks some of the polish of the newer games, I like that Persona 3 feels more respectful of the player’s time. Persona 5 is a dialogue-heavy game that will sometimes go over 30 minutes without letting the player save or actually play the game whereas Persona 3 hasn’t reached that level yet. Either way, I think this game might have more replay ability for me personally and am excited to finally experience the plot firsthand. :)

[petorahs]

i'm just gonna: ☀️ anon. There.

Anyway: I can see where you're coming from and like I said it has been forever since I played the Answer and I don't /hate/ it. But I guess I always had an issue with Yukari, because she seemed to me needlessly mean to others sometimes? Like she was right and others are wrong so its fine if she can be mean? But that is just what I /remember/. And while yeah, characters are allowed to be mean and not perfect and allways kind, especially female characters, because GOD FORBID women do anything- it also doesn't mean I have to LIKE her. I guess it's because to me Yukari felt like someone who would unironically call someone having fun "cringe", which for me personally is a dealbreaker. But Persona ALWAYS had this issue with having the male bestie be the buttmonkey of jokes, some kind of pervert and dunked on by the other characters and Junpei is still having it the best?? (Yosuke, Ryuji, you boys deserved so so much better).

In any case, I guess I couldnt give her as much leeway or credit because her personality didn't really mesh with me. But now being older I also think that it is BECAUSE of the writing. Persona Games have all extremely low points and extreme high points. The entire first palace is great in persona 5, Persona 4s social links with the Dojima family are really gripping and persona 3 is still one of my faves because it just came at the very right time in my life. (Who would've thought that a game about DEATH as its core theme would SAVE me.) But the writing is not always very consistent and the characters really suffer for it, usually for very stupid reasons like """""humor""""". I guess I am just trying to say that I get what you mean, but Yukari is just not my fave so I guess it is easier for me to lose patience. Like there are characters I'd go to war for in the persona series, so its easier for me to see the GOOD writing aspects, while others might greatly dislike them and therefore have a far easier time seeing the writing from more negative perspectives.

But your analysis has really given me some food for thought. I will definitely try to pay it more attention on a replay!

Oh ONE MORE THING!!!

It always felt like Yukari was pushed as a sort of "main love interest" which always kinda felt off to me when persona games do that. maybe its because i am gay and therefore see myself more representated by same sex couples/queer couples, maybe its because the persona developers believe men and women cant just be friends it always has to be something romantic, maybe its because the romantic writing always seemed forced and reliant on little events like in a romance shoujo manga- idk, but that was also something that rubbed me the wrong way. But that has been issues in P3-P5 throughout. And i feel like p3 got it the worst??? At least in later games you could opt for just a friendship even tho the writing still made it APPARENT THAT THE GIRLS ARE IN LOVE WITH YOU SPECIAL BOY!!! Sorry Yukari, that's not really your fault, thats a systemic fault.

yoo valid as hell though i get wym. if the character isnt for you then they arent for you and again, im not here to convince you otherwise of anything!

when you say it like that i can see why yukari's a bit of a mixed bag. i still like her tho she kinda a baddie and as a guy i like when girls are kinda mean to me so agree to disagree

ah yes the persona lovers arcana girl suffering from pushed "main love interest" syndrome.. i havent played any other aside from p3 and p5 but i heard rise gets worse. but like you said it is a systemic fault. to be real with you none of the romance options in p3 really enticed me despite 3 being hailed as ""the best dating sim"" out of all three modern games. maybe i just need to play portable. or be able to romance ryoji as makoto lmaoo (i saw a screenshot with ryoji saying he'd like you regardless of gender and. 😭 thanks for nothing i guess atlus?)

hard agree on the persona series as a whole having a tendency of doing something really good but then!!........ not. sticking the landing at all. theres so much to be said about it god these games are a hot mess on average its funny. as much as i adooore it, p3's pacing was so ass that i got severe tonal whiplash on oct 4. couldnt even begin to grieve cause i was so shocked

if you ever replay the answer (which. godspeed to you thats a whole grindfest i wouldnt wish on my worse enemy) i hope youre able to have fun and find new things about it to like! overall we can agree that its good so theres that. talk to you soon o7

[anonthefold]

A lot of support tonight. I had a lot of good games solo queueing. I then played with someone else who claims to be close to my rank but.... I have doubts. TBH, and I mean this in the best way possible no slight to him, he felt like roughly mid silver. Positioning, target priority, ability usage and tracking felt very mid silver. But... as with any other competitive game some people make their rank their entire persona. I sometimes do but that is because I am in a weird place (on support) where half the team wants to do things one way and the other half does it the plat/gold way. My goal tonight was to play almost exclusively support for a few hours then to switch to an entirely different roll for a few more relaxed games. I forced a lot of Ana and some Brig and took a couple of breaks on Illari. Kind of a good round exercise. I have a lot of highlights on Ana from tonight but I really am keeping it to just 1 good one for her. My flex role was DPS tonight and I also had a lot of good games. I have been back on that Sojourn, Tracer, and Venture grind and I feel like the rust is pretty well shaken off on Sojourn. A lot of Doomfists and Reins tonight so the Soj was ok depending on the map. Being that my DPS mmr is probably between High Silver at its lowest and high gold at its highest I do get whiplash from the types of Supports and tanks I get on top of it being QP which is naturally either a silly or a serious place. I play relaxed in QP so I can identify my issues easier but also to see what i am doing right. I usually then watch 2 replays at the end of the night 1.) a great game that I might have overperformed in and 2.) a game that I lost but didn't get steam rolled on. Since I have a little time I will drop 3 videos below of potg/highlights from tonight and maybe give a little perspective on the game itself.

Tracer / Venture Hanaoka

This was a close game. I played Tracer for 85% of the match. We had a commanding lead despite our tank struggling. There was a tracer on the other team as well as an Ana and a Juno and a Reinhardt. The other DPS was playing mystery heroes. My job was to distract the tracer in a 1v1 and avoid the Ana. I was just slightly better and although the fights were just controlling space I was able to push them out when I could then I would rotate to the other lane and pressure the rest of the backline. Despite this playstyle being not high damage or elims it is great for making the rest of my team focus on the point. We had a DVa who had a hard time securing eliminations playing into a Rein and not diving my targets. We also didnt have much utility on our support end. My other supportwas really helping out the rest of the team which was good. 2 flankers is not always conducive to a victory on clash. The other team eventually swapped to bastion cassidy and mauga. This is where we started to slip. It is a lot of spam poke and the cassidy is a good counter to me. I had to adjust mid match to keeping the cass away from off angling but it is very very risky to do so on Tracer. One fuck up and your just gone. flash bang left click and I am walking back from spawn. That plus the bastion and mauga just screening the main lane and I realized that I should swap. I have less viable targets. Venture is good at pressuring Ana which was my target. I can also get a cheeky elim on a unaware bastion plus i have a way to safely get out. It was a good victory.

Sojourn Busan

I'll be honest... this game was kind of a role. I felt like the mercy on the other team was pretty new to the game. They stood out in the open. It honestly felt bad killing her most of the time because in my head they just want to play the cute little healer. Big dumb tanks are fun to play Sojourn into because you just farm rail off them and then use that to kill a squishy. They played open in the chokes most of the time. After a couple of lost fights they'd go somewhere else. Smart of them actually.

Ana Hollywood Attack

Finally I am putting this highlight as my Ana game. I backfilled into a game with what I assume was high gold. Only one other player went high ground with me. But controlling that high ground made 2nd point so incredibly easy. They had a genji on the other team who DID attempt to push me off and that was good but the supports they had didn't actually support him and it didn't go well for him because I had a Sombra peel for me. I will have two clips below of pivotal moments in that game. Ana is mostly best played at range but sometimes you do need to get closer, as long as you have some cover to get to. The last choke on hollywood attack is best played right before the choke where you can run to either the mega or the mini. I have seen some Anas play by the bend to that long hall but you lose a lot of value and if your other support dies then you will never have the time to reposition quick enough to get sights on the rest of your team. Overall fun game and I built nano up so quickly that it actually felt like something was broken.