#might fix this up when i get the chance
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
They’re back!!
74K notes
·
View notes
Text
OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.
#okay starting from the beginning of where ppl usually dislike him. apple woods chapter.#he doesn’t give hero/partner the CHANCE to explain themselves despite them being relatively good recruits up until that point.#and that legit might be my only gripe with that chapter bc!!! stories need conflict! I LIKE the conflict in apple woods!!!#hero and partner being punished so something they didn’t do!#the misunderstanding! how team skull (Skuntank) actually outplays the main duo with a clever yet rotten trick. I LOVE that it segways into-#one of the more sweeter scenes of guild members looking out for eachother. I LIKE APPLE WOODS CONFLICT.#but chatot just. not giving them a chance. is so dumb.#I’d personally fix this by having a lil montage of hero/partner fucking up on jobs. A LOT. and chatot giving them a pass every time.#and let the perfect apple incident BE the one where he puts his foot down and doesn’t listen to them. bc he’d given them loads of chances.#and doesn’t want to hear any excuse.#but yeah. I legit dont mind him during that chapter except for that really stupid and frustrating moment.#NOW. CHAPTER 17.#UGGGGHHH WHERE DO I BEGIN#Him not believing hero and Partner about Grovyle and the future being in ruin? FINE. ACTUALLY GOOD. BC CHATOT WOULD BE SKEPTIC.#IT FITS HIS CHARACTER!!#BUT WHAT DOES SUCK. IS HIM GOING ‘Dusknoir isn’t the bad guy. he didn’t do anything wrong’#WHEN HE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HERO AND PARTNER RIGHT I N F R O N T OF HIM.#(NO LITERALLY. HIS CHARACTER IS IN THE FRONT ROW WHEN IT HAPPENED.)#and him. having the GALL to tell hero and partner they must’ve been ‘seeing things’ and downplaying the HELL they went through.#despite them being missing for hours/days. his own guild recruits. and his angry sprite showing up.#like. I think that’s when I genuinely despised him.#that and him going ‘OH I BELIEVED YOU THE WHOLE TIME HEEHOO :)’ shit was so fucking annoying.#just playing it off as a joke the second the guild started to believe hero and partner.#IMAGINE IF HE W A S ACTUALLY TESTING THE GUILD’S TRUST. SHOWCASING HIM AS THE MORE RESPONSIBLE AND RESPECTFUL RIGHT HAND OF THE GUILD.#and yes. Brine cave he saves hero and partner. but at that point I just didn’t care anymore.#he fucked those two over so much. that I didn’t care what ‘valiant’ sacrifice he had.#and he grills Team Skull for what they did OFF SCREEN. they couldn’t even give us THAT.#<<< THAT or him outright saying sorry would’ve been nice. IKIK his ‘actions’ or whatever but.#eughh again this is all imo. I’m not trying to make people hate him or change their mind.#I’ll get into positives in the second post cause I’m running out of tags
85 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#Charlie Kirk dude . . . . . .#if you want more women to be conservative then actually listen to them instead of pushing the traditional marriage viewpoint#where you shame women for pursuing careers and degrade women in their early thirties#and say it's impossible to reach women to make them conservative unless they're married with kids#ESPECIALLY#since your own life makes a hypocrite out of you#women are tired of being told to get married and have kids#women are tired of being blamed for low birth rates and marriages#especially when there's no reflection on the men's part to figure out if they might actually have a part in chasing women away from that li#life#women are tired of this rhetoric and you will only put them up in arms if you continue to criticize them#for choosing to have careers over families#By being this way you sound more like a poison pill for conservatives- trying to chase away women rather than appeal to them#the traditional life you hold to was not because of innate biology but because of necessity and later society#when women were given the chance in WWII to work they did so gladly and had to be forced back into the home#We are people with thoughts and dreams and aspirations#and those don't all point to motherhood#stop it please I beg of you#telling women they are supposed to married with kids will not fix the nuclear family#telling women they're past their prime in their thirties will not encourage more families#you only give them ammo to dislike you and refuse to listen to you
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
ngl i love the naruto fic trend of 'kakashi goes back in time and has to try to fix everything'
#it's so common but also 90% of those fics i've read have been SUPER good#i've seen so many different slight variations on this too#naruto#i really enjoy a hokage-era kakashi because he's the most put together and likely to actually fuck shit up and not worry as much about being#like. suspicious.#an early naruto kakashi might have more time being lost in his memories when surrounded by everyone he lost#i've seen ones where kakashi goes back alone. where he and obito both go. where some of the kids go with him#read one that killed me recently where a post-series hokage kakashi switches places entirely with his younger self#(though what his younger self is experiencing in the future is told entierly through him suddenly remembering things that never happened#as if they were long ago#and witnessing this altering of time and memory. kakashi in the past elects to not tell his team anything about the future#even when minato asks him directly#he takes it as torture and doesn't break.#i read one once where kakashi went back to his child body but the sharingan came with him#i've read one where in his attempt to fix things he gets himself kidnapped in rin's stead and becomes host to sanbi#i've never seen this trend be as common in any fandom as it is with naruto#i guess cause kakashi's past is a series of horrible events that. wouldn't you like the chance to fix them
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#personal#it feels like im not allowed to complain about my own life on my own blog#or at least that if im allowed to that it seems very firstworld problem very selfish very not appropriate with all thats going on#that people will and do think less of me for expressing my own sadness and frustrations because theres no way it compares#to a lot of peoples very big and very real problems#but im so fucking sick of being poor and small. all ive had to eat today is 2min noodles roughly 10 hours ago#and all ill get tomorrow is a bowl of 2min noodles but ittl be another 15 or so hours until its the most reasonable to eat that#thats the real girlmath and then thats the last of my noodles. that leaves me with one (1) small tin of tuna#which might end up being tonights intermediary food if i really cant wait 15 nore hours for my next noodles but is supposed to be#the one meal of the day after tomorrow. so if i eat it too soon then i have even more time that i just dont fucking eat#im so sick to death of being in this position. like its literally killing me and theres fuck all i can do to make it better#ive tried. and i try and i try and i try but i can never afford anything#my landagent keeps sending me textx asking when theyll see a patment for my $50 water bill#i have to stop myself from texting back every time. youll see payment when im not spending literally 75% of my pay on rent alone#when i can afford to buy food and bills at the same time. whn i dont feel like kms-ing would be better than paying you my rent every frtnite#i crave a burger so bad i cant make myself do any tasks. i cant start or continue any crafts or chores because all im thinking about#is a burger like a blorbo rotating in my mind alongside the background noise that i wont get a burger and will only get noodles but not for#hours. a whole days worth of hours almost#my shitawful roomate is back and i have to play nice but he gives me the same feelings my abusive mother did. im scared to leave my room#in the safeplace house ive spent the last two years building for myself. this feels awful. things were all going so right and now#all of a sudden theyre all going as wrong as possible and im struggling so much. with no one to help. no one cares enough to help#the few people i do have are wrapped up in their own lives. which i get. but it doesnt take away the hurt of dealing with it all alone again#lot of momma trauma coming up with the end of eclipse season and i thought i was handling it. now i just feel fucking awful all the time#like ik healing isnt linear but the roomate triggers so hard things i thought i had processed and was on top of#would a burger fix that? no but itd atleast give me something to emotionally lean on for strength though it. but all ive got is noodles#24 hour apart one meal per day noodles. and tomorrow is my last pack. my only solace lately is that ive been invited to my first ever rave#or my first real rave anyway ive only been to one other 'edm event' that was not really a rave of any scale it was like 25 people#but its a halloween rave so im hoping for spooky fun dancetimes at least theres that. im out of data and spotifyprem so i havent been able#to take my silly little mental health walks bc theres zero chance im doing that without music and so itll be noce to get outside fr the rave#anyway. im doing very poorly i appreciate you few who reached out while i wasnt active but i expect ill continue to do poorly for some time
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
a possessive kiss that is meant to stake a claim .
kiss & tell | oooh @ofurizen wants chiyo soooo bad ≖‿≖
" 'm sorry i didn't listen. "
the words are tired and spoken between rasped breaths as chiyo holsters her pistols. her arms and legs feel like jello -- a side effect of nearly meeting her end at the gruesome hands of a hulking demon. but there isn't a drop of concern for herself in the pools of brown gazing at v. it's all for him. she'd watched as the creature trampled over shadow, barreling towards the man with such ferocity, and as griffon snatched v out of harm's way, chiyo fired without a second thought. her onslaught drew the demon's attention to her, as she wished, but she didn't have an avian companion to save her from being squashed.
she didn't need one. a well-placed bullet ( read: lucky shot ) sent the demon tumbling to the ground, giving nightmare enough time to manifest and v to finish the job. and thank god.
as v's hair turns from white to black again, chiyo worries she's made him angry. at the very least, she expects to be reprimanded after her reckless display. she's only human. a fragile thing like her shouldn't take risks that aren't in her favor, particularly when she was told to stay back.
green eyes finally meet her own, and chiyo shifts uncomfortably beneath the intensity of v's stare. the need to justify her actions rises in her chest, forces words out that aren't as careful as they typically might be. she cares too deeply to hide it very well anymore. " but that thing wasn't gonna give you a break. i couldn't just stand there. what if you got hurt? " the distance between them is rapidly closing with v's long strides. like she always has, chiyo stands her ground and does not move, brow furrowing and mouth twisting into a frown.
but it is not an argument that v wants. he enters her space not to intimidate her but to pull her closer, eliciting a gasp as his gloved hand grasps her jaw and arm wraps around her. he wants her. the realization winds chiyo, steals the breath from her lungs seconds before v has the chance to, and it's almost embarrassing how easily she melts and molds into his touch then, how readily she stands on her tiptoes so that he doesn't have to bend down quite so far. if he wants her, he'll have her.
his kiss is a hungry, greedy thing, and chiyo is nothing but willing to feed it. he need not tilt her head for a better angle because she does it for him, presses closer without the encouragement of a tighter embrace, though she does relish in it. he need not be insistent for she wants him, too; he must understand that when she is so eager to surrender to his touch. take what you want, her body sighs. one hand slides up tattooed skin to rest delicately at the base of v's throat while the other tangles itself in dark strands and doesn't let go. her mind grows fuzzy, unable to think clearly even as their lips part for air, and chiyo meets v's gaze with half-lidded eyes. she feels the rise and fall of his chest, wonders if his heart beats as fast as hers does.
yours. all yours, her eyes seem to say as she takes hold of the hand that held her jaw and turns her head to press a kiss to his thumb, tilt her face into his palm. a smile tugs at her mouth, bashful and teasing all at once.
" maybe i'm not so sorry. "
#ofurizen#DON'T LOOK AT ME AND HOW LONG I MADE THIS ASDFGH#when i say i'm brainrotting over them i mean it okay :' )))) and i can't help it if i love to set a scene :' )))#and when you said he feels possessive bc she's precious and worth protecting my mind immediately thought about how#if given the chance she'd absolutely do something reckless to keep v from getting hurt and how that might stir up some feelings after#hehe#and i feel like in other situations there would definitely be a moment when chiyo hesitates and doubts herself#like she can't just boldly kiss someone first without being ill with nerves first#but in this situation it's so clear how he feels that she's like ' haha take everything you want from me <3 hold me tighter in fact <3 '#i just love them to pieces already :' )))#btw lemme know if anything seemed ooc for v!! i tried not to write too much for him but if even his reaction wouldn't happen like this#i can try to fix it or at the very least learn <3#i had to be there to be loved | interactions#to restart this heart of mine | main#tbh maaaaaaybe i need to make a new verse for chiyo...... also i settled on guns for her to use for the time being but i might change it#/if/ something else seems better suited/more interesting#i honestly just figured guns might be easier for her to learn vs. training her whole body
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
🚬🧸🧃🎀
#anyway so yeah im so sick of hating myself. of missing out on things and being too scared to go after things i want when i have the chance#so sick of almost being 25 and having spent almost 6 years alone in my room missing out on life#and my mom and sister might be moving in the not too distant future#so i have to try to get my life together for real now!!! or homelessness will be awaiting me :D#what i will try to do.. is start going to the gym (w my mom so i dont have to deal w the anxiety of an unknown place by myself sksk)#i'll workout 3-5 times a week. every week. i like going to the gym so if i just get started i dont have a doubt i'll not be able to do it#i'll focus on finishing my english class. hopefully in december even if i have the possibility to get it extended a few months#then i'll start my other 4 classes in january#i'll be patient and wait for my ultrasound and get the gallstone situation fixed (latest in january if i need surgery)#(and i have to try to make sure i eat properly so i dont wind up with b12 deficiency... i cant eat anything without pain but i have to..)#also i have an appt at the psychiatric in mid october. and im still waiting on what my healthcare center says. hopefully i can get cbt#if possible i will really really try to apply for jobs as a personal assistant sometime between january-may#if i have a job instead of being on wellfare i will 1) have way more money 2) not feel constabtly anxious abt being rejected and homeless#i'll stop caring abt me being 'old' and a late bloomer. the planet is dying. who cares if im 28 and start university????#i'll take my time to finish high school. and the thing is i really should get a job before starting higher vocational education#bc the program i want to start i HAVE to have a laptop. and theres no way i can afford that now. cant even save up to it#also need to find and put myself up on waiting lists for student housing/apartments so i can actually move#i hate this city and i need to get the fuck out of here!!!!#but the world is crazy rn and it's super hard to find places to live and find jobs but it's not impossible so i need to try#i cant live like this & i have no idea how tf i'll manage to be a normal person and have a life but i need to try bc what else am i gnna do?
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
not to doomer post. but. american politics is like here's a conservative warmonger who wants to burn you alive personally and here's a different conservative warmonger who definitely wouldn't stop someone from burning you alive BUT who might raise the minimum wage by $0.30/hour for you, but only like eight years from now (so re-elect me please!! >w<). yes one of them has to be president they are the only two options we'll let you have. no neither of them will stop the government from killing you or anyone else, but at least one will say "it's kind of bad to kill people :( someone should really do something about that..." while giving the people-killers $20,000,000,000,000 to keep doing it then saying they can't afford to help you at all, but oh shucks, maybe next cycle, if you vote for me again! and also everyone will pretend as though they are extremely different political entities covering two highly polarized ends of the political spectrum despite nearly identical policy views obscured by their slightly different ways of addressing their target audiences, many of whom are also conservative warmongers. and also if you don't vote or vote third party the other guy will win and you will watch as they burn everyone you love alive in the same way they've burned so many strangers so you kind of feel like you have to vote for the other warmonger because even though they both have blood on their hands you'll take a handshake over an uppercut. even if you can still see the bodies piling up behind them. even if you can only save like five people you know and not the thousands of people who are dying in the other room. because you believe the difference between 30,000 and 30,005 is still worth it even though no one needed to die in the first place and no one seems to agree with you. you have to keep living in this world every day. if anything changes it will take decades and it will never be enough. if this takes a toll on you good fucking luck surviving off the generosity of the warmonger state that claims to serve you. happy voting!!
#like. yeah i'll take the raised minimum wage. i guess. but jesus christ#yes you are doing slightly good things sometimes almost. can you stop killing people though. please. that is a higher priority#like this is my first prezzy election season since i turned voting age right and like. what the fuck am i supposed to do now#what am i supposed to do with this. it took me 5 fucking months to pick a dead cockroach off my floor how am i supposed to fix this.#how am i meant to be a person and go on living while knowing i am doing nothing and cannot do anything and won't do anything#i need to fight i need to get up but i am stuck. im always stuck. i pray yknow. i don't know what else to do#how can people think about buying houses and getting promotions in this world. how are they not feeling likr their chest is caving in every#time they falter in their complex self-distraction. how am i supposed to do anything when all i can think about is helping and my body won't#let me. i cant do anything i cant but i have to but i cant. im supposed to and im a bad person if i dont and i cant live like that.#and if i am too upset about that i am punished for it by the people around me and ignored by those in power if not punished as well.#i love the world. i love people. you motherfuckers are killing everything and im not stopping you and you're getting in the way of me loving#the life i was built to love and i can't understand why you think it's even thinkable to do what you're doing. or what im doing.#i just want to look at clovers and paint and be good to my neighbors but you won't stop fucking murdering people in front of me#and i can't fucking do anything. i cant take care of the people i love i can't carry my own weight i can't take care of myself i can't move#and im supposed to fucking file taxes? to fund mass slaughter? on the off chance it might go to welfare or something. god.#i hate it here i hate it here america is a fucking nightmare it is hell i can't stand it but if i leave im just running and saving myself#whch is selfsh and cruel and so i would never be able to escape the feeling and i would always be in american hell because it' a part of me#but if i stay i cannot do anything because my body is filled with smoke and broken glass and im supposed to fucking get my drivers license#so i can buy groceries or get a job so i can keep myself on life support watching everything get worse and worse around me#and knowing that nothing has ever been good here and ive been lied to forever and im still being lied to#and i am in hell.#and me dying won't fix it and me living won't fix it ans both are too painful to even consider.#i am drowning i am drowning i am drowning i am drowning and my skin is on fire im on fire and i want to have children. but i can't imagine#doing that to someone. oh my god. and to raise them and watch them come to understand what this place ive brought them to is#that ive raised them in a slaughterhouse and to feebly try to show them the clovers and the ducks and the baby shoes and teach them to love#when maybe that love of the world is a distraction. or maybe i use it as one. i think of the blood as an obstacle to love and joy but maybe#i would not love the world so much if i was not so constantly desperately scared and ashamed of living in it#and i am a very lucky person. my life is cushy and i want to rip my skin off because what does that matter when it doesnt let me help people#god help me. but help the rest of them first. but i am helped first anyway and i hate it. i dont. i cant. god.#nyarla dni
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I guess it feels so comfortable cause it reminds me of the way things were at their best
#when i still thought things might turn out ok#it feels familiar it feels like home#he's kinda a dick but doesn't get too personal n i can talk back w/o gettin smacked#so it just ends up feelin like some casual banter. almost affectionate in some fucked up kinda way#the sex doesn't get too freaky cause he gets his rocks off just w/ the way he's inside my head n i've given in/up#......i actually think he's liked it more now than he has in a long time w/ me. if ever. whatever the hell that's about#maybe cause he secretly likes the casual pseudo domestic dynamics (which i know he does) n is putting on less of a performance these days#i guess maybe some stupid part of me is thinking it's a chance to try again n fix everythin that went wrong the first time#as if there was anything i coulda done to make a difference#i mean idk if that's what it's about but why else would it make me feel so.....happy#in the rare moments i feel anythin at all#spdrvent
1 note
·
View note
Video
tumblr
栽培 (Cultivation) - Wally Darling Short AMV/Edit (CW: Scopophobia, Disturbing Imagery, Blood?)
So after going through some of my favorite Utaite playlists a while back, I came across a cover of this song by the Utaite RAY MORRIS and thought to myself, ‘you know, this song and the lyrics really fit this guy, I should mash them together :3′ and now you have this~
That said, seeing as this is the 3rd video I’ve made now, I tried to put a lot of work and effort into it compared to my last edits (to the point I spent almost 3 weeks on it, from editing to getting just the right pictures, etc.), and after FINALLY learning how to use the Tumblr video option, I’m pretty satisfied with how everything turned out, so I hope you enjoy :)
As such, please make sure to heed the content warnings before clicking on the video, and make sure to give a huge thanks to @partycoffin for making this guy because without them Wally nor Welcome Home wouldn’t exist!
Lastly, just like with my Hu Tao edit, nothing in this video belongs to me!!!
The art I used is from both Tumblr and Twitter, and for a complete list of the artists I used as well as a link to their original works along with the name of the song in the video, pls see below:
Original Song: 栽培 (Cultivation) - appy ft. KAFU
Cover by RAY MORRIS, which you can listen to here (pls give it a listen, he did a fantastic job imo and this is one of my favorite covers from him)~
List of Artists Used:
@partycoffin (OFFICIAL ART : pls go check out their amazing art for their wonderful OCs for this ARG)!
@qep0ermint (FAN ART)*
@sealemoons (FAN ART)
@diamondnature2 (FAN ART)
@ClNsg79 (FAN ART)
@evilhal0 (FAN ART)
@catmochi_ (FAN ART)
@pbpanicbutton (FAN ART)
@then_i_didnt (FAN ART)
*Please note I put the ‘FAN ART’ tag on the other artists because I have seen other accounts impersonating the OG creator, and while I myself am aware of the different fan art used in this video (as well as that these artists made the fan art in question), I just wanted to let others know what is official and what is fan made to avoid making this problem worse. That said, in addition to checking out the OG creator of Welcome Home, pls consider supporting these wonderful fan art creators too!
#Welcome Home#Kudamono94's Texts#Kudamono94's Leftovers#video w/sound#Creepy#cw: scopophobia#cw: disturbing imagery#cw: blood?#Wally Darling#I hope that this plays okay for everyone!#I have trash internet and while I tried to make sure the video quality was as good as I could make it if Tumblr messed anything up pls let#me know right away and I will try to fix it!#That said seeing as this song fits Wally so well imo I think I might make a full AMV in the future with him set to it if I ever get the#chance/the time to do so!#However while we're on the subject of CeVIO/VOCALOID songs that could fit this series#another song I think would fit him is HAPPY SHAPE by Hachiya Nanashi! Aside from the potential ties to religion/cult themes the song's#music seems to go along with his whole aesthetic as well~#On that note tho I am aware that some of the official art I used is technically no longer canon so make sure to keep that in mind when#watching the video too! I just included it because the creator is super talented and I loved these pieces too much not to include them
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
The world is set on prescriptivism and... it doesn't jive with me
#I could elaborate on what I mean; but I don't see much point when it's not like anyone's even gonna see this#and I just kinda doubt that anything I'd have to say here would be all that insightful anyway#but I just find myself a descriptivist living in a world full of prescriptivists#which maybe that sounds silly; but I promise I mean something specific with it#and a lot of what I mean boils down to the concept that almost everyone seems to 'know' the right way to go about this or that#where as me... the more I live the more I find everyone's path is unique; and the stuff that worked for me isn't a good fit for everyone#and on the inverse; things that make me miserable might be exactly what someone else needs#every solution needs to be custom tailored to fit the person who uses it; that's what I find#(you can make some general guesses or nudges; but you're going to need to treat the patient; not the chart)#(ie; you're gonna need to actually engage with the specific person and figure out what works; not just toss generalisims at them)#so that's my stance; I don't try and say how things should be (when it comes to people) I just try and see how they are and go from there#...that's not how much of anyone else tends to view things; so I find anyway#everyone always has infinite advice about how you can do exactly what they think would fix your situation#and it comes from a place of caring; doesn't it? they say do this cause they're convinced that's what you need to do#but... both for me and for others I find it's rarely that simple; if it was that easy they'd have already done it#it's like my last therapist; all these ideas about what I needed to do (that were dumb; but had a kernel of sense in them)#(things like his suggestion I play pvp in a game with bad pvp and also I hate pvp)#(when the better suggestion was to group more; because the point was to get out of my comfort zone in low risk ways)#but he had all these ideas and it felt like he got very frustrated when I wasn't moving forward; so... I quit seeing him#and... turns out what I needed to move forward was to wait like a year or two for a big shake up#where I finally had the chance to leverage things into owning my house... and then I could actually act again#like right now I may be stuck; but not like then; I actually do have many ways forward that I can try and work on things#(and... I slowly try to... I'm not why people seem so convinced that I haven't thought of trying to move forward...)#(I just suck and it takes me a long time... way longer than I'd like... but I do try and keep moving forward)#eh... why do I even bother writing shit like this?#mm tag so i can find things later
1 note
·
View note
Text
my mother is in a bad mood today
Great.
#Got yelled at for enjoying a fandom SHE wanted me to be part of#But she was also clearly pissed off just waking me up this morning so clearly something else happened#I'm putting the mark of Cain back on my arm later#She hadn't even noticed *that* but I'm sure she would have freaked out about it too#“you do realize that [the anti-possession tattoo] can be taken as Devil worship right??????”#Yeah. I am. It happens to supernatural fans allllll the time. Am I going to get yelled at when I actually get it tattooed too?#Or is it only a problem rn when I did it with FACEPAINT#Like it can all come off#In less than 5 minutes#And the handprint#Really?#It's OBVIOUSLY facepaint#You think people are going to look at me and assume “oh no that poor child is being abused”#Or is it more likely they look at me and go “oh they got bored and put a handprint on their shoulder”#Like seriously#Reactions like this are why I don't share anything with you mother. Have you considered that?#Last night I saw my facepaint and went “hey it'll be fun to turn myself into Dean!”#That's all#So I'm getting yelled at for daring to have a little fun and trying to be like my role model#Well.... Role model is a strong word#I idolize some things: like his confidence and stuff#I think confort character might be a better term for him#We're very similar and I simultaneously kin him and want to sleep with him XD#But I'm also very much like him in the way of deep down I just want to find someone willing to love me. No matter how broken I am#I never say this about any character ever but I think we could fix eachother#Not if we're trying#But if we just ended up together by chance and formed a nice healthy relationship I think slowly we would fix eachother#idle speaks#queenie rambles
1 note
·
View note
Note
you reblogging so much of shin megami tensei got me back on playing the game i had for a while (smt5) but i'm really curious what the one ur reblogging is about
I want to play four (the one with the samurai) if that's the one you mean but if you mean three then that's Nocturne and I'm playing it now. You play a guy who with his two friends is spared the apocalypse but are left to all fend for themselves in the world after, infested with demons because the people that ended the world wanted to bring about the process of creating a new one. Instead of dying immediately in what's effectively now a waiting room with everyone from Heaven, Hell, and myth, the player is saved because some kid (won't spoil his identity) who's part of these forces likes you and makes you swallow a parasite. You become half human half demon. Because you're now half demon you get excluded from being able to make a Reason ie. come up with an idea for a world to replace the old one, then get sponsored by a demon to fight in the struggle to make your Reason the new world. But being excluded from making your own allows you to choose what Reason you'll sponsor and champion into existence, or you can reject all of them, or you can leave the world to be solely for demons. Among other routes.
It's demonic pokemon just like other mainline SMT in a philosophical thought experiment, because the only way to gain party members is by fighting then talking to demons to collect them. I just really like the different Reason philosophies and how they interact and what happens when you reject them all; I like what the game is trying to say about what defines a human being, even if they get made demonic, really what's the difference between a human being and a demon at all and so on. It's not very character driven, characters are more a representation of the themes, commentary the game is making etc. and implications of where those intersect or what's implied but in this case I think that's fine. The music is bangin and the atmosphere is fantastic. I know it has a reputation for being hard but so far I don't care when it'll get hard for me, the combat is fun; getting absorbed in everything else is the real reward. And I love Demi-Fiend's tattoos that are more like his demonic veins. Really that was the first thing that always made me wanna play, his design.
How do you not find this cool
#Yosuga Reason and Freedom Reason make the most sense to me because either humanity should either take responsibility for our free will#or be exterminated to make room again for all other life on the planet if we can't and devolve into cleaning each other out#all the others are either temporary short sighted parts of humanity's problems or abandon it to death entirely which ig is also ok#there's also the one where you do choose to be a pawn but in the long run what's being a pawn getting you tbh#and by just ok on the others is i mean i think the coin toss between favoring Yosuga or Freedom is more interesting here#'but why like Yosuga at all-' listen if something's not working it's not working that means you do the practical thing & eliminate it#i am not wishy washy kiddie gloves when it comes to humanity as a whole if we can't fix our shit w free will we have earned our destruction#extremely selfish to make everyone suffer living on the off chance something 'good' happens while we cause destruction & horror to ALL life#what is that really in clinging on to good things if not chasing pleasure for your fleeting gain and evil persists around or because of it#all truly is vanity#also I see zero difference between Yosuga social darwinism until we die out from reality as it is- minus the suppression of free will#we're already suffering Yosuga in a sense#if you can't use your free will for good and betterment for others esp those who can't use free will themselves and yourself then you die#sums up how i see getting to try Freedom vs / alongside Yosuga#might makes right is already exactly how the world works and how it always has worked#the entirety of human history to right now is who can kill and surpress the best to take from others- Yosuga just makes it obvious#and the sole principle to exist but it's already existed even in a world with free will and Freedom
0 notes
Text
once again thinking about my post-trimax legato somehow miraculously survives despite everything au and vashgato agenda aka The Worlds Most Miserable Roadtrip
#one of these days ill get back to it#its the fucking. anger and hatred and loathing from legato @ vash#because legato and vashs entire dynamic is fucking#legato has lain down on the tracks. and he doesnt want to be saved. he needs vash to be the train that runs him over.#and then he lives. somehow. he missed his chance to die.#he had no reason to live. his one reason to carry on was for a cause he fully intended to die for and then he couldnt even do that#mirrored by vash. who also went into that confrontation with knives fully intending to not make it out#and now the world is saved! knives failed and now hes gone. and thats a whole fucking thing to unpack for everyone#the fucking anger. the grief. the whole fuckin mess of contradictory emotions that happens as a result of abuse from a family member w vash#fucking Everything wrt legato. the devastation of knowing knives is gone + he failed + legato lived + *vash* lived#the slowwwwwww realization over a long long period of time that legato worshipped the ground knives walked on#but knives only ever regarded legato with like. the same way someone might an ant. a bug. maybe a dog.#legato who only ever wanted to be Seen by knives#and knives who never particularly cared for legato beyond his usefulness#legato who begins following vash because its probably what knives would want + there is truly nothing else on this planet for him.#he has no other reason to live#and vash allowing him out of some sense of pity / resignation + being able to see that theres Nothing left for legato#+ probo some sense of obligation too. of heres another person his brother fucked up. which means hes vash’s responsibility to fix#all the while legato resents vash for living when knives isnt here. resents him for failing to kill him.#resents him for being the only other thing that knives actually cared about + who rejected knives when all legato ever wanted#was knives’ attention#and vash who frankly resents legato too. resents the fact that. of all the people who managed to survive. it was legato and not ww#resents all the shit that legato put him through. all the people he killed all the suffering he inflicted#the two of them looking at each other and the fucking. recognition of the self thru the other#and seeing all the shit they hate about themselves in the other#theres also again the shared grief of them both losing someone incredibly important to them both but who was also responsible for some#abuse to Both of them. unpacking it. working through it. moving forward.#learning How to move forward as a Whole when theyre both two deeply traumatized deeply suicidal fucks who no longer have the singular goals#thatve been their sole reason for existing for the past. many. years. and having to find new reasons to keep living#but most of all. i think they should make out sloppy in the desert thank you goodnight
0 notes
Text
auauaugh i can't even imagine how im going to get through sophomore year 😭 i don't even know how i'm going to get through this semester i always feel like i'm scrambling. even though i can tell im making way better progress compared to last semester like i'm learning things quicker im getting more done i have experience to build on instead of doing 10 fitups of shitty t joints im doing 3 or 4 and that's because (even if my teacher has to come in my booth to show me how to do it) with each bead slowly i remember how i've welded before and understand how i'm supposed to do it but that's still so much time im still behind compared to where my teacher said we should be and i don't understand how everyone else is understanding and doing everything faster than i am 😭
#alex talks#week after spring break is going to be entirely taken up by one project my teacher said it might even take us two weeks and we have like 8#weeks of school total left and not even halfway through our projects so far and like i said i am still behind on those projects#that aren't even halfway through. every time i have to weld something i have to do it 3 or 4 times before i remember how welding works and#how to watch under the hood for what i'm supposed to be looking at to know where i'm supposed to be pointing and how fast i'm supposed to be#moving and therefore how to correct when im not doing that and with this stupid week long project we get one chance on each joint#i really like oxyacetylene i think i could get really good at that and it's actually fun bc with welding w a hood it's so dark &it's hard to#adjust and once you're running a bead that's it you're running it you're in there i have to remember everything but with oxyacetylene it#moves slow it's a way lighter shade i can see it i can pause in a bead and go back and fix things smooth them out#but people don't even use oxyacetylene welding anymore for like actual jobs bc it's so inefficient we're just doing it to practice for tig#i mean people still use oxyacetylene cutting and brazing which i haven't learned yet and probably very specific scenarios maybe like#idk very small seams or more artistic things people use it but not a lot out in the industry i mean#i had a nightmare last night where i was oxyacetylene welding a pipe i still have to weld and i blew a hole in it and it just kept getting#bigger and bigger and the metal rolled away from itself in a way that metal doesn't do and i couldn't control it and then i rolled the#puddle until it covered the blown hole mostly (not how anything works) but it was still charred and misshapen and ruined. so anyway
1 note
·
View note
Text
there is something deeply wrong with me
#sorry for the ventposting at 1pm on a sunday but like#having panic attacks and wanting to cut ties with all my friends when even the passing mention of any kind of disease is brought up#is not healthy. it definitely is something that i should probably go to therapy for#but i can't fix the problem now#because it's not even that it's an irrational fear. it is a very rational fear.#i don't want to get sick because there's a chance i'll never recover#and getting sick once makes it easier to get sick again for the rest of your life#and so it's just a downward spiral that once it happens once.#you're fucked. it's over.#and the fear keeps me careful#and so if i try to fix the fear. i'm putting myself in danger#and so i'd have to wait until cases aren't so prevalent to fix the fear.#which may never happen!!! this might just be my life now!!!#i might be an anxious agoraphobe forever. there may be no fixing me#and i want to have friends and i want to live a life#but that puts me at risk#and i don't think it's worth it#i might as well just be alone because at least i won't be a murderer then#vent
0 notes