#memmmoryyyy stuff my dudes

[rainforestseed]

um. i spent far too long on a post abowt jj being neurodiverse.

warning~ ableism ~ableist words mentioned~brief mentions of child abuse and violence...idk  .  this is just what i thunk n i wanna share. i ve been waiting for someone to talk about this so im just gonna go for it  .. im gonna  put it under  read cause its a bit long 

the scene before midsummers, with jj in his room freaking owt ~ he’s having a sensory meltdown. jj is trapped in this scene. he wouldn’t have been allowed to leave in his situation, luke wouldve likely hurt him again if he tried so locking himself in his bedroom was his safest option. But on top of his face likely throbbing with pain and feeling very scared, there was music playing loudly from downstairs and luke screaming over top of it. JJ was responding the same as i do when i have meltdowns from sensory overloads. Pacing, growling, panicking, screaming, pushing his hands into his ears to reduce sensory input while rubbing  pressure into the back of his head, throwing things, kicking, self injurious behaviour.

i do all of these things during a meltdown. I often also spin, convulse, press into my eye sockets, punch my self in the face and throw my head against walls. I have no control over it and this scene hit close to home. JJ’s not only angry and hurt and scared here. he is completely unable to sort through and process his sensory input and the intensity of his feelings and emotions. Afterwards when he is leaving his bedroom luke is passed owt on the couch which shows quite a bit of time has passed and it’s quiet. JJ is still hunched over in his room recovering, crying, hypersensitive, exhausted and terrified.

i’ve seen a lot of descriptions of jj being short fuzed, ill tempered, hot headed,   reckless, aggressive, impulsive, volatile. He’s also called ableist words like idiot, crazy,  psycho, maniac, dumbass by all the characters. baby blue is just neurodivergent. he experiences feelings and emotions and sensations a lot differently from his friends, which is why he is often misunderstood and his thoughts and ideas and emotions are sometimes dismissed.

JJ had trouble reading the compass in episode 2. When he reads it he says “Reddle - Rout. No i think that’s an A” When Kie reads redfield without a beat JJ frowns a lil bit and just says “right” Rudy is dyslexic so mayhaps there is a connection :‐)

JJ becomes visibly distressed to loud sudden sounds, and when people raise their voice at or around him he doesn’t like it. When jjs friends are arguing around him he becomes incredibly distressed, like pacing..unable to look at what’s happening, grinding his teeth distressed. JJs friends are the only stability he has. So when there is tension between any of them or any threat to his family becoming less stable or falling apart or changing, he doesn’t like it. The panic and fear from sudden loud sounds might have to do with ptsd from being a victim of child abuse as well from having to watch his n his friends backs from getting hurt by kooks growing up .

 JJ tactile stims. non stop.  my stimming is different from jjs but also similar, im gonna try my best to understand his.

JJs rarely able to sit still and continuously seeks touch of some kind. He uses self stimulatory behaviours that help him focus when he’s thinking n listening and when he’s talking and to regulate his emotions when he’s feeling them intensely. JJ is the most physically affectionate character by far. He likes touching things and touching his friends.

JJ always has something in his hands. Usually his lighter, he plays with it, almost constantly, in a lot of different ways. Sometimes he flicks it open and closed, rolls it between his fingers, most of the time he’s just holding it maybe for the weight of it and the texture and temperature of the metal

When he doesn’t have anything to touch he shoves his hands inside his pockets and chews the inside of his mouth a lot and grinds his teeth together. I think he was chewing his nails in the hammock

He stims by bouncing his knees repetitively and by taking his hat off to run his fingers along n avert his gaze when he’s anxious . 

he plays with knives and hacky sacks, stones and sticks, touches his rings, even holding his gun could be a thing. 99 percent of time jj has his gun he is just holding it and stroking it lol    

everyone stims. but yeh jj also experiences sensory overloads, meltdowns, has difficulty with reading, impulsive behaviour, n emotional dysregulation whilst stimming constantly for an entire season 

i wanna talk abowt this for a minute. cuz i always have this weird feeling when i relate to a character n end up  loving them n then i think i  put my stuff on them...like ahh yes i am this so they are this too. symptoms of neurodevelopmental disorders like asd, adhd, sensory processing disorder and dyslexia can overlap. this ocean angel is neurodiverse and it makes me feel incredibly ~h a p p y!~   Also makes sense why he relies on weed more than any of his friends. other than him just knowing it works for him n makes him feel better, it’s probable he isn’t quite aware of the extent he is self medicating his negative symptoms.