#meat vs candy

[thebhorror]

karkat not believing that people love him: a story in two parts

[controversial-blorbo-bracket]

anti propaganda for vriska to balance things out: andrew hussie has called her the embodiment of an authorial mindset they refer to as "authorial scorn" - i.e. putting characters through trials to force them to develop, the counterpart to authorial affection (coddling them from any bad stuff out of love). this is a deeply warped way to view the creative process and it shows with vriska, who is treated with way too much favoritism by the narrative despite doing horrible things. causing conflict isn't a thing done out of hate by the author. meat vs candy is BULLSHIT.

[lynchs-finch]

Ross Lynch Imagine - Double Standards

Ross does his best to be an honest, morally consistent man. That said, if there’s one thing he’s a hypocrite about, it’s the difference between him dressing slutty vs everyone else.

What you’re wearing, or anybody else for that matter, doesn’t make him assume anything about how you want him to treat you. Be it three layers of winter coats or nothing but a thong, Ross knows your clothing choices doesn’t give him permission to do anything you don’t say you want.

However, when Ross dresses slutty, especially when it’s just you and him, he’s all but becoming an object for you to admire. He’s expecting you to fondle and grope and smack anything you please, tearing off any garments you deem in your way. He’s inviting you to refer to him as the whore or slut or man-candy he is and speak to him as if he were a hunk of meat about to be devoured. And most important, whenever you see fit, to devour him whole over and over until you’re finally tired.

A Little More Ross...

[canisalbus]

I realize this might be a slightly odd ask, but… Out of curiosity, what sort of foods do you think Machete would be fond of? And do you think they’d differ noticeably from when he was young vs once he’d grown older?

He's a fussy eater. He rarely eats for pleasure and dislikes being seen dining in company, but attends formal dinners and banquets if invited, since declining without a very good reason would be at best rude and at worst a devastating faux pas. He prefers fowl dishes over red meat and greatly dislikes sea food (which is just peachy since this is the Mediterranean). Pasta seems to be already a well established part of the cuisine at that point, maybe he's into that. For the most of his life he's eaten rather simple foods so he finds bland soups and broths very safe and comforting. Pomegranates are his fruit of choice, he doesn't have much of a sweet tooth but enjoys candied apricots and figs on occasion.

He's exceptionally bad at holding his liquor, and he can't stand the feelings of unpredictability, disorientation, unsafeness and potential loss of control that being intoxicated causes in him. Unfortunately, drinking plain water was very risky and uncommon, it was contaminated and unsanitary more often than not, especially in population centers. Generally the main drinks you'd consume through the day were diluted wine and beer/ale (this was the case for children as well). Machete tends to prefer wine, which he waters down heavily, and sometimes has it flavored with spices, herbs, honey or sugar. Having even a little bit of alcohol in the mix would kill at least a portion of the bacteria (not that the concept was known at the time, people believed many illnesses were caused by tainted air and foul smells, I mean fair enough, if your water is filthy it probably smells bad too).

(Fun fact, apparently Ancient Romans had more or less perfected the art of winemaking but by the Middle Ages a lot of the techniques had been lost. During the Renaissance wine was generally very low quality and the way it was fermented and stored (making the switch from sealed ceramic amphora of the Antiquity to those iconic wooden barrels) meant it would only stay good for a year at best and the taste would start to deteriorate within the first couple of months. Vintage wines weren't a thing, the best stuff was fresh. Apparently European wine was pretty bad for hundreds of years and would only start to improve again around 1800s. Or at least that's what I've gathered, I could be wrong, I'm not a wine expert).

Europe hadn't quite adopted tea yet and he narrowly missed the time coffee began to spread to his corner of the world (I bet he would've loved both of those, with the help of caffeine he could've been twice as much of a jittery sleepless wreck). I've read that people would distill sage and drink the resulting concoction with hot water to create this very tea-like minty drink, that sounds like something he'd like.

[thewebcomicsreview]

Hamsteak Liveblog

A'ight hell tier update, and the first update is that they've changed the chapter select menu. It's now explicitly a chapter select where the chapters are numbered, whereas the old menu made it look like you were meant to choose your own order. Up next is "Chapter X", which appears to be Davepeta. My prediction is that we're done with the ghost cameos and Davepeta is going to give the moral of the story and then the final 8-ball update with be Vriska vs Vriska to bring it home.

I am almost immediately proven wrong. This is a "Meanwhile" where Davepeta is up to something. Is this screenshot even legible? Well, if you can't read it, computers can.

*dp hesitantly crawls up to their phone, curiously pawing at the device and feigning ignorance as though they don't know what the fuck it is because theyre kind of embarrassed to talk to the sprite^2 they know is at the other end*

Hm. What's "sprite^2" would be at "the other end" and not there. Jasprose? I guess it's basically only Jasprose it could be.

Oh shit I was able to guess which of the one possible people it could've been. I'm a fucking genius. This is why people read my liveblog, for the glaring insights that only I provide. Second question: Where the fuck is she? That background kind of makes me think of the Midnight Crew, but like the original Problem Sleuth bonus comics that introduced them where they were in some Problem Sleuth-y looking city.

Sort of interesting that Jasprose and Davepeta apparently don't like each other. Jasprose's main character trait in HS1 was being uninhibited and kind of uncomfortably horny, and she's Davepeta's....um....cousin? I guess? Where did I put that Homestuck family tree. Oh, I didn't add her, lemme do that.

The most cursed thing about this chart is that it's simplified.

The reason Vrissy's in "adoption jail" was because I made this chart for someone complaining that Vrissy dating Tavvy was incestuous, when Vrissy is basically the only character not related to anyone (this blog's tagline was "It's not incest if she's from space" for a bit as a result). Which makes this ironic because I think the reason Davepeta doesn't like Jasprose is that Jasprose keeps trying to fuck them.

Hey, I was right, it was the Problem Sleuth bonus comics.

One thing that's been bugging me a lot about HS2 and the epilogues is Homestuck already had a metaphor for canon in the form of the Alpha Timeline, and HS2 never really separated "canon" from "the alpha timeline" in a meaningful way, but now we're having the snapchat comics and the Problem Sleuth bonus comics references as "canonically deniable", so we're actually doing something new with the concept.

"Tall, dark, and loathsome" is the name of a song in the Midnight Crew: Drawing Dead album, so it's likely Jack Noir. The "Crocker Patriarch" is weird though. It can't be Jake, and Jane's dad is de-

Wait, hold on. Is this referring to the bonus comics? Dad Crocker is chasing after Jane who was kidnapped by Jasprose....but that's all in Meat! So this Jasprose is currently with the Meat version of Jane Crocker, being chased by Dad, Diamonds Droog, and possibly Problem Sleuth, and is somehow able to interact with Candy.

Maybe it's because Jaspers barely had any lines, but it's interesting how Jasprose is a unique individual with her own unique quirks while Davepeta is still very clearly Dave+Nepeta. She doesn't really talk like Rose at all. She's a little flowery in her language, but in a very different way.

Davepeta: Jasprose....you've been drinking? Jasprose: Please. You know it's only milk bars for me. Well, perhaps the occasional martini bar. Though with them, it's more difficult to find bartenders that won't bat an eye when I order a glass of that delectable matronal ambrosia Jasprose: Speaking of, I've made fantastic progress with the enchanting, yet problematic Ms. Crocker.

Man, that leap from "matronal ambrosia" to Jane Crocker is one of the most convoluted boob jokes I've ever seen. Speaking of, Jasprose finds Jane "enchanting". I kind of want to re-read the bonus comics to refresh myself on the context but they're glitching the fuck out for me right now and also....aren't very good.

This is referring, presumably, to Meat Jake, who I don't think has appearing in HS2 at all so far, having been ditched in the epilogues. I honestly thought we wouldn't be seeing Meat Jane/Jake again. Also, "pass her off"? To whom?

Anyway apparently Davepeta thinks the "therapy shit" isn't working well. Interesting to see them dropping the wise mentor act a little here. They also make it sound like this is something they're being compelled to do. Jasprose notes that it's been four years in there and that being Vriska it'll probably take 4 more to make it 8 and Davepeta is all "Ha ha, can you imagine" so the final chapter is obviously going to start "4 years later". This was a fairly short little chapter with a ton to speculate on. The sprites are working together and they're maybe working with (or for) someone else that Jane is going to get passed off to. Who could that be, I wonder? Dirk's made reference to having agents on the outside, but why would the sprites work for him? It's not Al, who was actively opposed to this. Could it be....

I don't know to what extent real-life person Andrew Hussie is involved with Beyond Canon, but his fictional stand-in has been mostly absent outside of the bonus comics, and has not yet appeared on-screen, but considering that Al has been shown to be nigh-worshipful of the original comic, it'd be interesting for her and AH to interact.

[fanonical]

i feel like people get really hung up on the word "canon" in regard to homestuck. "canon" in homestuck doesn't mean like "true" to the text, it's a tangible property of reality itself. the characters of homestuck exist within fiction, even within the fiction (see: Andrew existing as a character, Vriska mindcontrolling the narrative, Doc Scratch also taking control of the narrative, etc).

at the end of the story, they break out of canon; they leave the webcomic -- that doesn't mean that everything that happens in the epilogues/homestuck 2 "doesnt happen" or doesnt have to be considered; it means that they have broken free of the narrative constraints they were previously placed under. the split worlds of Meat vs Candy are both true, but have differing levels of "essentiality" and "relevance". Rose is very explicit about all of this in the prologue of the homestuck epilogues!

the whole premise of the Epilogues is whether or not John goes back into canon to "validate" the ending to make it make sense, so naturally Meat has to have some truth to it (otherwise the events of Homestuck collapse), but Candy also intersects with Meat on occasion so we can surmise that somewhere in Paradox Space, it exists too and is actually happening; it is just happening free from that tangible property of "canon".

[softesteshouten]

What if Kanaya killed Rose?

God, I don't know WHAT I'd do about that... but it'd certainly be fitting, considering everything.

Right now, we've got a Lalonde that's... not deserving of murder, but is certainly dipping into the Dirk mindset, thanks to her robotic counterpart in the Meat timeline.

For one thing that I've noticed, thanks to a nifty little site cataloguing the retcons in Squared, Rose's expression on 198 changed.

Preretcon vs

Postretcon

The vibe I remember getting from seeing these two women for the first time in a long time was one of dishevelment. One that spoke "oh my gods we're so fucking stressed", right?

Kanya still keeps that look.

Rose doesn't.

There's no concern written on that face anymore. There isn't a bit of worry or stress--well, okay.

No, there's stress written on there. Stress and annoyance.

One face speaks of "I want to calm down my wife. I'm in this with her, I want to figure this out just as much as she does."

The other speaks of "I want to figure out whats happening here, because this shouldn't be happening here, this is frustrating."

Which, of course, changes the tone of her words on that page too.

You think Kanaya realized that, once she heard Rose reveal a bit of her true colors?

Adding onto this post here, but do you think she thought back to that moment and realized her own wife's tone was off, upon recollection? Do you think she's not only asking this question to try and understand Rose, but to also understand and to pinpoint when exactly this woman stopped being her wife? And started being something else?

The character's faces in a picture say everything about how they speak in the textbox following. We don't have the necessary indicators anymore that we got from Candy and Meat. All we can rely on are the pictures (and the narrator if she pokes her damn head in again.)

I think it'd be bad, if Kanaya murdered Rose. I think it'd be an exciting direction for this story to go, but I think it'd be bad in a "we gotta help out our previous main characters and make them not be fucking shitty!" sense. Because if Candy!Rose continues to exist, then that's one less part that can become apart of Rosebot. That would be freeing her from this fake place, the same way Dirk freed himself way earlier.

Maybe she's gunning for that in the long run, since Rose was never truly depressed enough to actually kill herself. She needs someone else to do it. Provoke another person into killing her so she can leave this forsaken world and spend more time with her brother in a timeline that actually matters to her. She's never done it herself, not truly, not like Dirk has. She needs that extra hand, whether it be a bomb that sent her into the Godtier, or the bastard that killed her Mother. It certainly would be an interesting way to leave out of this timeline, could be a story she tells Dirk later. "I left that world by making my "wife" so mad that she ended up murdering me in cold blood. Funny, really."

Kanaya might already have plans to. Probably doesn't want to--that's her wife for christ's sake. But if it came down to it, if that woman pushed a couple more buttons, maybe. She's certainly never been opposed to solving things in a trollian way. Might even be one more thing Rose can lord over her later, if they ever met again.

[mofffun]

Team wings headcanons??? Any????

They are children on the playground and arguing is proof of their "friendship"!!

Headcanons

Rita being the secret supplier to Yanma's antique collection (think government auction, double as one Gokkan's source of income)

Yanma Gast 100% knew about Moffun.

Yanma the hashtag angry mark vs Rita the pool of yarn mark (ahhh I want to doodle)

THEM WITH KIDS: Rita scaring a little girl in N’kosopa vs. the flower twirl with Ishabana boy + Yanma is a good teacher

when did they first hear the king-ohger legend

"You don't even know that?" -> Yanma: yelling at auroras to "turn off your damn speakers!!!" // Rita: can't tell a lightning cable from a type c

I don't think Rita is bad in tech in terms of lacking a sense in it but they just never had the need to study it

Rita will never say the full technical name for Yanma's inventions though (Does he even know his lie detector is called the Thundercarcker behind his back?)

(bringing the actors into this) Rita serectly adding another grudge on their list because Yanma's Moffun voice is actually really good

per manga ch13, the grudge list grew again because the Jealous Judge's retainer has a heart uchiwa for the yankii king

Yanma is smart enough to motivate the judge with words into helping him if necessary but it'll take a minute hour for Rita to begin wonder if it was because they agreed with his reasoning or his choice of words

Yanma is 2 years older but by kingship he is 6 years Rita's junior. Their first meeting happened at 21/19. The number fluctuates because I also really want to see their first meeting at 19/15.

similarity and differences:

teased by Himeno, Yanma turns red and Rita turns white

they are too gay to sit properly

parallel play (they could sit in a coffee shop for hours and people would think they are angry with each other because they're not talking but it's actually the most comfortable way for them to stay together in the same room)

unconsciously hum while working long hours

“what is sleep”/caffeine addicts 

 you KNOW they both have a tendency to fall asleep in their office

Both have a sweet tooth but Yanma in drinks and Rita in hard candy. Rita more so than Yanma because butterfly.

don’t really look at what he’s eating vs. has a gokkan-native comfort food

Yanma doesn't mind trying foods with dry/weird textures Rita is not exactly a picky eater (because gokkan food shortage/low variety of homegrown food) but typical “I need that texture once in a while or I start malfunctioning”

(Gokkan has all sort of weird pickles and dried meats, typical winter country)

Like any northerner Rita has a high alcohol tolerance though without a preference (okay Gokkan harvest(?) festival and the one day the prison complex is allowed fruit punch) and you'll find me beat up before I say Yanma Gast can take more than a beer.

Yanma Gast has a HUGE ego but I think it’s only gotten worse by having an eternal hyper in Shiokara. Does Rita has an ego? long story short, yeah.

Instances:

first meeting

development of king's hotline/ohger calibur/king's weapon

the moffun scalper

development of the lie detector

yanma's arrest and trial

when yanma and rita were castle-mates (?) before himeno and kagu got themselves in jail

jail time

the body swap phone call!!

body swap resolution (admit it canon is not giving it to us)

the voyage back home

maintenance spa day of the shugods

first meeting: I think one reason Rita doesn't like N'kosopa much (and an underlying cause to them randomly arresting everyone in 28 besides stress), is organized crime plagued N'kosopa in the aftermath of Wrath of Gods.

Post-Wrath, the blue king ran away, so N'kosopa is either an anarchy or at warring states where crime bosses and militarists took hold. "Police" exist but took bribes per Shiokara. At that time, Rita just became king themself and has enough on their plate. So even though it's technically a domestic affair, it's a growing potential threat to Chikyuu's order but it's too systemic for a 10-year-old foreigner to take on alone.

I also think Rita would be required to witness the day Yanma officially becomes King. He has the popular vote, but to keep things simple, the monarchy is kept instead of transitioning into procedural democracy. So the yakuza lawyer, Usba maybe, say they have to get the Chief Justice here, to everyone turning blue and silent for a moment from the excited discussion of a big ceremony hearing their name.

but! my initial fic idea in may/june was very simple because I only wanted to put them in a bike + sidecar and sunglasses and comedic road trip. They chase down a McGuffin to help a kid. Their budapest. Where Yanma making "Absolute Neutrality" Rita's name comes from something they said. Maybe that's why the couldn't end the incident in a less legal but more effective way.

another first meeting idea allows them to meet younger as late teens is maintenance day for the shugods. A very random event is if the Yanma needs the Ohger Calibur to stay over temporarily, how is Rita gonna continue with the trials? Did he buy them a substitute pon pon Moffun hammer at the tuck shop??

Developing the henshin system: See I think Yanma is not going to bother putting in a function that he personally can’t use but knowing it’s a team’s weapon, as a good designer, he at least has to ask the other kings what they want as an auxillary. What is his reaction hearing Rita says bow? (i talk as if anything other than HA? is an option) What if Rita didn’t suggest bow, but Yanma just assigned them that because it fits that stick-in-the-mud?

Body swap resolution: Yanma wants to train his body but doesn't know where to start. I mean, he can't ask Rita of course. But if anyone can keep a secret, it's them. Oh of course he doesn't have to go that far and outright get humiliated again, so he has to phrase it like picking a fight. Rita is down anytime to "convince" Yanma Gast so they didn't really register it as a one either. (re: Erica saying arguing is the proof that this two are "friends")

Yanma's arrest:

Yanma's hair got fried blond because of his ultracomputer

N'kosopa mass protest + boast rally that conversely proved Yanma is the culprit

nobody remembers to hire Yanma a lawyer

a particular loud shriek when Gokkan's power black out (lucky for yanma it's summer i.e. long day)

Morfonia and her unsaved files

Yanma's sentence include improving Gokkan TV/Internet reception as community service

Jeramie using the "boys will be boys"/"he's just a kid" defence as Yanma's Grand-Master to mask he secretly contributed here and there

+ power blackout doesn't really affect the bugnarok because they're underground and only beginning to build a power system with Gira and Shugoddom's help

Shugoddom's historic gas lamps!

Himeno breaking down Yanma's door because "if not for my hospitals all equipped with the best backup power!" (solar/wind energy), and that she can't curl her hair that morning.

Kaguragi turned it into a campfire story night/community event somehow

Yanma's trial day is the day Gokkan's immigration and tourism board has to overwork for the first time.

Shiokara and hacker gang arguing for visitation rights. homemade bento

does yanma sentence last for more than two years if he says prison break is an additional charge?

Gira tried negotiations but he knew he isn't being fair and backed down quickly with a Rita stare

Yanma got dragged away with Papi-chan helicopter style, he's yelling at Tonbo to put in a good word for for his buddy and Papi-chan ignore him lol

CHARACTER ANALYSIS

They have two key words: past/present and secrets.

the thing with wings is, they somehow sparked in each other another side. (i.e. they drive each other crazy, and they are the only ones that can do that to the other) But then they spring back like nothing next day like children on the playground.

On a level, these two are actually very similar in terms of being analytical and practical. Yet their conflict comes from attacking problems from opposite angles. Rita represents the past and Yanma the future. Rita will collect evidence and review history while Yanma focuses on what's already in hand and invents something new. I said that right, but in a way Rita is forward-facing when they never let any childhood trauma stay a trauma or haunt them; Yanma is nostalgic based on his antique/physical media collection.

You may say it's partly recognition of the self. That's why they are only antagonistic 80% of the time.

(hc territory) They ended up doing the same thing/making the same choice ouf of completely different reasons. They are more similar than they think they are but no one can name what/why (not even me).

Yanma Gast 100% knew about Moffun but he kept his mouth shut in ep11. He (should) never told anyone about what Rita did in the underworld. I'm lying to myself he trusted the judge won't do something they didn't deem necessary so he turned away in 38.

Rita holds grudges. Yanma Gast is the source of their headache since he stole Gira and kick-started the story. Sometimes they don't get how such an obnoxious person is so popular. But Rita guesses, he's dependable when it's important. Not a very skilled fighter but he's not dumb. At least they can count on him not to intervene if they make it clear they are making a move.

the movie scene: No spoilers, but, I just think that’s a really nice scene to that established how different Yanma and Rita are while providing a base for reconciliation following their argument in 19. Neither of them are acting like their usual self. I don’t mean they are ooc, but you see them perform different than everyday under an unknown situation.

[ducotte-real]

Relistening to Beyond Canon album so it’s rlly on my brain, and I love how Split Reality sounds both like the Candy Route vs Meat Route, but also Alt. Calliope vs Ult. Dirk, and also Calliope vs Caliborn, Mechanical synth vs analog piano, but that piano’s a recording right? No matter the starting point and intention, it all ends up in the same sound wave? To hit the same headphones. What points the message’s soul if it comes out tinny because of a poor messenger

[popculturebuffet]

James Earl Jones Memorial Halloween Special: Treehouse of Horror I Review! (Comission by WeirdKev27)

Happy Halloween all you happy people! I"m amped not just because I love spooky season: the decoratoins, the candy, the excuse to inject horror into my veins but that we get to talk about one of my faviorite shows. Despite the many, MANY simpsons refrences that grace this fair blog, largely thanks to the site frinkiac for making it easy to meme any simpsons refrence that ops into my dome, I don't cover the show itself often. A lot of it is simple: I just forget to and what retrospectives me or kev have had ideas for have never materialized. Still Kevin, my producer and frequent comissioner, found a perfect episode to cover for the perfect reason: last month legendary actor, voice actor and voice in general James Earl Jones sadly passed and while trying to think of something, Kev brought up how James is present in all three seconds of the first treehouse of horror.

It was a great prospect both to honor james, as he has a sizeable role in the second segment and is essentailly the star of the third as the narrator, and to explore an episode of simpsons I don't really watch. I didn't watch season 2 much to begin wtih as a kid, and don't really now, and didn't like the middle segment. Petty I know, it's the same reason I don't watch Treehouse of Horror IV as much as I should when I can just.. skip the middle segment and enjoy devil flanders and dracula burns. So it was a chance to explore a treehouse I really didnt' know that well and to honor a man who was a part of my childhood and adulthood and general seemed like a kind, resonable person. So in honor of james and to give this episode a fair shake, join me under the cut for some halloween fun with everyone's faviorite family.

We open with Marge warning everybody, a fun idea that works well and would get played with in later specials. The insperation for this one according to writer Al Jean was EC Comics, doing that sort of horror anthology thing tales of the crypt used to do in comics and would again.

The wraparound is a fun and simple one. I also miss them doing these as while I get why it stopped, to give the segments more times, they were a lot of fun, paticuarlly III's halloween party. This one has Bart telling scary stories to lisa in the treehouse, a fun little premise. Homer is listening in because he just finished trick or treating, none of which is suprising but is still entertaining. We'll come back to this at the end for now let's dive into the meat of this special

Soooo hot take.. this was my faviorite of the three segments. I love the raven and will gush about it later, but this was a very nice suprise, having a more rapid fire pace from the seasons to come compared to the rest of season 2 or even it's fellow segments.

This wasn't a huge shock when I found out who wrote it: John Swartzwelder, a singularly weird simpsons writer who smokes and who did all his writing in a diner booth and continued to even after smoking bands by purchasing one, who tends to shy away from the public, to the point they called him on a commentary track just to prove that yes, he exists.

Swartzwelder has written 59 episodes with heighlights including Bart the General, Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish, Homer at the Bat, Whacking Day, Krusty Gets Kanclled, Homer the Vigilante, Itchy and Scratchyland, Homer the Great, Homer's Enemy, Attack of the 50 Foot Eyesores, Homer Vs the Eighteenth Amendment, and Homer's enemy among many others. While he did loose a bit of his sheen as he went on, it can't be denied his peak stuff is some of the series best and this is no exception.

The premise is simple: the simpsons take on the amityville horror, the film based on the book that used a real tragedy to make money. The Simpsons move into a spooky house, nearly murder each other and escape alive. Which isn't a guarantee with Treehouse of Horror NOW but seemed to be a requirement early on as the simpsons don't impliclity die till Treehouse of Horror V and don't die on screne till Treenhouse of Horror X.

It's mainly an excuse to just pack the things with joke after joke, all hitting: the moving man, played by james earl jones mutters under his breath he's glad the house will kill them. There's a random vortex in the kitchen that theyt hrow an orange into.. that throws back a piece of paper asking them to stop throwing garbage in that dimension. The walls bleeding barely bothers marge and Bart getting choked by a lamp has Homer asking how he'll explain his way out. It's just joke after great joke, with Harry Shearer doing a great job as the house which frequently bellows GET OUT. My second faviorite joke of this segment is when Marge decides indeed to get out, and the house puts the kids coats on them for them. Just a simple hilarous gag. I also like homer being bounced into the celing and trying to act like it's fine.

He does get them to stay overnight which leads to the creepiest part of the specail as a whole and a great bit of horror: the house convinces the rest of the family minus marge to kill each other. The expressions here are truly disturbing, and i'ts unsettling to see the simpsons all in a trance ready to murder each other.

Thankfully the humor right after not only deflates it, but is great: Marge is seen grabbing a knife like the rest of her family.. but is making a sandwitch, easily lectures them out of it then plans to leave spouting the awesome quote I choose to use as the image. I'ts just such a marge thing to brush off something this horrid like it's some new conflict in the family.

The simpsons soon find the old racist trope of the house being built on a native burial ground.. which is a thorny concepts for sure, but this is an old enough episode to get away with it and I like homer angrily calling his realtor only to find out the guy mentioned it 5 or 6 times. The house tries to give a meancing speech.. only for marge to angrily tell it off, a bit I love, from Julie Kavner's delivery to how it works. She demands it either leave them alone or live with them in peace.... it chooses to collapse on itself after shooing them outside instead. Aw well can'jt please everyone. Just several minutes of great jokes with some great horror sprinkled in.

Not a fan of this one. It IS better than I remembered as it packs in some good jokes. That's courtsey of writers Jay Kogan and Wally Woodarsky, who while having a slow start, finished their run on the show with classics Bart's Friend Falls in Love, Treehouse of Horror III and Last Exit to Sprinfield

The premise is a riff on the Twilight Zone Classic , To Serve Man. For those of you who don't know what the Twilight Zone is, you just made me feel very old, but it was a classic Science Fiction anthology series, running the gamut of genres and often falling into horror. The simpsons would go to the twilight zone a LOT for Treehouse of Horror: They'd riff on at least one episode a year for the first four treehouses and would still return to the well on occasions. The simpsons has parodied A Good Life (Bart's Nightmare), Living Doll (Clown Without Pity), Nightmare at 20,000 Feet (Terror at 5 1/2 Feet) , Little Girl Lost (Homer^3), and finally A Kind of Stopwatch (Stop the World I Want to Goof Off). As the show went on they drifted into parodying horror films more as Twilgiht Zone faded, but I miss it and hope they do one again some day or as a special since their now doing Treehouse of Horror Presents.

At any rate it's a pretty basic parody: Kang and Kodos in their first apperance kidnap the simpsons along with Sorak the Preparer, played by JEJ, and have them eat a lot, making vauge hints they'll eat the simpsons and droolling a lot. There's a gag or two I love: the ufo they abduct the simpsons in having to put out an extra beam to pick up homer, tilting to the side otherwise, the aliens admitting to having thousands of channels except hbo "That costs extra", and the aliens defensifiness when how primitive pong is is brought upop "Raise your hand if your capable of intergalactic travel". I love bart sticking up his hand and homer slapping it down. Good stuff.

Most of it though.. is eh. The twist is that. .they aren't trying ot eat them and are hurt Lisa assumes it with the book being how to cook FOR humans. Then how to cook FORTY humans, then how to cook for FORTY humans. I love Sorek's hurt feelings and what not, but it's a pretty bland parody compared to Bad Dream House, which nailed it. It feels like a bland middle to two pretty dope piece sof bread. It has some good jokes nad gave us Kang and Kodos, so it's not without merit, but it's easily the weakest segment in an otherwise good episode.

For our finale Lisa reads Edgar Allen Poe's classic Poem the Raven. In the second best refrence to it the shows ever done

It's the breakout of the segments and while I prefer Bad Dream House and stand by that, The Raven is very close and a very creative flex. Matt Groening was nervous it'd come off too pretentious, but instead we get a great break from formula. The first two segments, while fun breaks from teh simpsons mostly grounded reality, at this point anyway, do feel lik ea standard episode that just happens to be about a murder house. The Raven.. is something entirley diffrent.

It's a mostly straight adaptation of the poem: James Earl Jones does an impressive and haunting reading of Poe's narrations, while Dan Castlenatea does an awesome job as homer, injecting some humor into it but reading moments like the main character lashing out at the raven and his sorrow with such convection. While we'd see plenty of range from homer as the show went on, this was an early indicatior of just what dan was capable of with the character.

The show also nicely breaks tension in places: Homer is literally reading a book of forgotten lore, Bart chimes in with his commentary, and there's some good physical gags. But the heart of it, a tale of greving, loss and ultimate death, as the narrator gets haunted by a raven (Played by bart naturally, with Lenore played in a painting by marge (with the nice gag of her hair extending into another painting and Lisa and Maggie playing Serapphim), i'ts a wonderful segment that is hilarous.. yet also heartwrenching and haunting. I haven't read the poem, but this segment makes me feel it, a haunting wonderful piece. James Earl Jones kills it with the utmost conviction in his reading, upping the intsnesity was we go and really getting into it. He did a marvelous job and apparently went the extra mile for his performance in the second segment by eating a cookie while recording to get the drool right. What a man

So we end the specail with the kids fine but homer scared and Marge refusin gto help him because.. I dunno she's a dick tonight. A great end to a fantastic start to a wonderful tradition. Thanks for reading.. and james wherever you are up there... thank you.

[artfightdramaconfessions]

team meat vs team candy

this is funnier when you realize that most raw meat needs a spoiler on their site lol

[charmikarma]

isn't it interesting how all the alpha guardians (minus poppop) are like. resistance heroes? whereas the beta guardians were all just kinda... making sburb happen? resigned to the fact that the world was gonna end and they were gonna die?

this same kind of dichotomy shows up when we look at the beta kids vs the alpha kids too. the beta kids are regarded as heroes; the alpha kids are dubbed "nobles" because they're not fated to save anything. their job is to WAIT for the heroes to come.

in the epilogues too... in candy specifically, we see jade, rose, and dave all end up in the resistance, while john sits on his ass and ponders reality. meanwhile the rest of the alpha kids are either actively making things horrible (jane), dead (dirk), or bystanders to the horrible state of things (jake, and roxy KIND OF until we find out she's in on the revolution in hs2)

the same thing doesn't Quite follow for meat, but jane and jake do end up staying behind when dirk fucking loses it.

i dunno. there's something here. something about the "heroes" vs "nobles" thing

[eastcoastboyos]

It's Hatteras, not Hatteras

Drive day number 3 is brought to you by Blake.

As the nights go by, the accommodations have fewer and fewer beds, and we become cozier by the day. Come morning, The hotel provides a hot Breakfast of folded eggs with american cheese, meat circles and coffee as thick as the air. Derek ate his breakfast in a daze, and we hit the road with full bellies and high hopes.

A brief stop into traders J's for road snacks is an air conditioned paradise. Walking out with a heavy bag of groceries makes us feel like kings. We are kids in a candy store, swapping treasures in the haven of the van.

Early on we pass large coal mounds and massive cranes as we near the Atlantic. Joel and Derek debate the psychologic vs physiologic aspects of the massive underwater tunnel transporting us beneath the bay.

Crossing into north Carolina we see a cyber truck, and are enthralled at the heavily innuendoed road signs. We opt out of getting crabs from dirty dick's. You're welcome ladies.

The southern sun beats down all around, and we are eternally grateful for the AC of our zippy minivan. Roadside monster truck tracks and impressive mini golf courses beckon us to challenge the heat, but level heads prevail until unskippable history spurs us to embrace the sun. The Wright brothers national monument consists of a beautiful open field leading to a manicured hill and spire. At $10 a head, we are forced to rival the brothers in their imagination, say hello to the park employee, and promptly turn around and skip it.

Cornfields and acreages give way to sand dunes and stilted houses. We drive over the long and curved Bonner bridge (heh) leading us to pea island (hehe).

There are many turnoffs to enjoy the national treasure of the outer banks, all of which are sudden and unexpected, leaving us to admire the ocean from a distance until at long last we reach our campsite. Tent be damned, we stroll to the beach and firmly plant ourselves on the sand. Armed with our own delicatessen, we rip the bread apart, Dylan and Derek doling out meat cheese and greens. Dinner is dry and delicious. Joel asks us to let him die happily on the coast, and Allen admires the mussels percolating through the surf.

Eventually the tent is set up with tired gutso, using pieces salvaged from Dylans duffel, and lashed to the roots of the bushes that surround us. Laughs are had over the picnic bench, until a tick frightens us into the tent. The stars beam as Derek reads us lullabies of poop and stool, and the cicadas chirp their final goodnight.

(Blake)

[sunny6677]

SPOOKY RAP BATTLES PART 3

@mayisgoingnuts

Matchup: Skid & Pump vs Roy.

Announcer: "..uhhhh.. hey, folks. Welcome back to Spooky Rap Battles. Our contestors for this round will be Royyyyy, Carmen's son who she mentioned last round—"

(Roy give a roll of his eyes.)

Announcer: "And.. these two kids named Skid and Pump. I have.. absolutely no idea why two 8 year olds are going up against a teenager. But—I dunno. Whatevers funnier for you, I guess. Anyway.. Roy—you go first."

Roy: (Turn 1)

"Heheh.. hi, losers! What are you doing here?

Don't you already know that everyone thinks you're weird?

Y'know, it's clear that you both have a severe case of dum-disease

You think you can rap against me? Well, try to catch these!" (Roy makes a gesture with his fists)

"It's not even October, it's already over—

But you're still celebrating like it's somehow gonna get closer and closer!

Nothing you stupid kids throw at me will make my raps go any slower.

Hey—why not go cry to your mom? Maybe show her and let her lose her composure!

You have no chance of winning, you freaks—you could never beat me!

Now go ahead and rap—I'll make you into mincemeat!"

Announcer: "..very mature of you, Roy. Anyway.. Skid, Pump. Your turn. I guess."

Skid: (Turn 1)

"This is not spooky—this is scary!

I mean.. being up against a unnecessary inordinary bully who's language isn't even sanitary!"

Pump:

"We might be losers to you—but if anythings true, it's this one thingy that'll make you drop dead!

You're so forgetful that we could call you an airhead!"

Skid:

"You know—if you are a monster, you probably wouldn't be a skeleton! No question!

Because everything seems to get under your skin no matter how much you grin!"

Pump:

"No need to be a jerk-o-lantern—this is just how things are!

You're about has sensitive and easy to break as a candy bar!"

Skid:

"We have all chances of winning—because we're too cool for a ghoul like you!

But you probably couldn't be even called a ghoul—even in the land of the dead you wouldn't know how to follow basic rules!"

Pump:

"We're here to pumpkin spice things up, and you're here acting like a broken record!

At least you're mom could come up with more creative stuff when Ms Jaune yelled at her."

Announcer: "..damn. That was a lot of puns. Uh.. oh shit, Roy looks kinda pissed. Uhhh—Roy. Next turn."

Roy: (Turn 2)

"What did you say to me, you losers?! You don't get to talk to me like that!

I won't let myself get insulted by two little brats!

If we're bringing my mom into this, then let's talk about you!

Hey—" (He looks over at Skid) "When's the last time your dad actually told you the truth?

You're an annoying, loud-mouthed, self-centered kid!

And if you don't shut up, I'm kicking you straight into the pit!

And as for you, you big-headed tooth-gap having freak—" (He looks over to Pump)

"You don't even bother to defend yourself or your friend against me—you're hella weak!

Neither of you have any room to be talkin', so why don't you be quiet before I beat your face in so hard it leaves a bunch of clustered bruises like cheese?!"

Announcer: "Cheese? Heh.. clinging to rhymes there, aren't you?"

Roy: "Shut up!"

Announcer: "Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Kids—go ahead."

Pump: (Turn 2)

"Uhhhh.. why is Roy being mean at us again?"

Skid:

"He's probably just mad because he doesn't have a real friend!"

Pump:

"Oh—don't worry, Roy! We can cheer you up! We'll give you a lil demonstration!

We'll be here as your backup for your built up frustration!"

Skid:

"We'll snicker at your jokes even if they aren't too sweet—

We won't laugh at you even though you look like a burnt piece of meat!"

Pump:

"Maybe we can be friends with Ross and Robert too—they usually don't mind us!

Knowing you though, that'd probably make you just cuss.."

Skid:

"You're like a Kit Kat with how easily you can break!

Your mean personality is just so fake!

And I won't sugarcoat how better you think you are than everyone—

Maybe to humble you at a party, we shouldn't give you cake!"

Pump:

"You probably need it, judging by how you look.

There's so many other things we could call you in the book!

Instead of trying to work out your anger issues, you just bully us like a crook!"

Skid:

"If you think you had any chance of succeeding at this round at all—this is only the beginning!"

Skid & Pump (together):

"At least compared to you, our raps are actually award-winning!"

Roy:

"You little—!"

Announcer: "Jesus—fuck. No. Don't hurt them." (She lightly shoves Roy away before he can hurt the kids) "Ughh.. alright. That's the end of this round folks. Uh.."

[dystini]

Indycar Driver Lore

Indycar Driver Lore Masterlist

Alexander Michael Rossi

Birthdate: Sept. 25, 1991 Hometown: Nevada City, California Residence: Indianapolis Height/Weight: 6’1”/154lbs

Rookie Year: 2016

Team: Arrow McLaren

Follow him on: Instagram Twitter

Career Stats

2016: Andretti Herta Autosport w/ Curb-Agajanian - 11th Overall 2017: Andretti Herta Autosport w/ Curb-Agajanian - 7th Overall 2018: Andretti Autosport - 2nd Overall 2019: Andretti Autosport - 3rd Overall 2020: Andretti Autosport - 9th Overall 2021: Andretti Autosport - 10th Overall 2022: Andretti Autosport - 9th Overall 2023: Arrow McLaren - 9th Overall

Podcast: Off Track with Hinch and Rossi

Ask Off Track Twitter

Off Track with Hinch and Rossi on YouTube

IMSA 2014 DeltaWing Racing Cars – Daytona 24 2019 Acura Team Penske – Daytona 24, Sebring 2020 Acura Team Penske – Daytona 24, Petite Le Mans, Sebring 2021 Konica Minolta Acura – won Daytona 24, Sebring, Watkin’s Glen, Petite Le Mans 2022 Konica Minolta Acura – Daytona 24 2024 Pfaff Motorsports – Daytona 24

2018 Baja 1000 2nd in class 2019 Baja 1000 mechanical problems 2021 Baja 1000 Class 7 victory 2019 Supercars Bathurst 1000 18th

-Co-Hosts a popular podcast with fellow driver James Hinchcliffe called “Off Track with Hinch & Rossi” -Competed in Season 30 of CBS’ “The Amazing Race” with fellow driver Conor Daly as his teammate. The duo appeared in every episode. -A music lover, he enjoys everything from alternative rock to country music. -Enjoys skiing, dirt bikes, wakeboarding, cooking, and cryptocurrency. Recently obtained his private pilot license. His favorite city is Lake Tahoe, California. -When unable to enjoy the great outdoors, you can find him fawning over his bourbon collection, hanging with his two dogs or binge-watching TV shows with his fiancée, Kelly. -doesn't eat breakfast -Makes good bacon -Mint choc ice cream -will only run when chased, prefers to swim -Obsessively researches things he is interested it (smoking meats, pool chemicals) -Has a pilot's licence (small aircraft) -Tattoos: heartbeat on inside left forearm near elbow. Unknown on ankle -Co-owns a plane with Ed Carpenter -Prefers to be called Alex -has a ‘candy closet’ in his basement, which is exactly what it sounds like. -lived with James Hinchcliffe when he first came to Indianapolis (as did Conor Daly at the same time)

Iconic/memorable moments

INSIDE THE RACE: Alexander Rossi // Road America INDYCAR 101 // ALEXANDER ROSSI Alexander Rossi shares his "Rossi's Risotto" recipe | IndyCar | Motorsports on NBC A Winning Strategy: Inside Alexander Rossi's Indy 500 Win! - Motor Trend Presents Alexander Rossi explains his Indycar journey and transition from Formula One Outside the Line: Alexander Rossi 7 Things with Alexander Rossi NAPA KNOW HOW Blooper Reel with Alexander Rossi Alexander Rossi + Avalanche HONDA PACE CAR // COLTON HERTA AND ALEXANDER ROSSI Alexander Rossi and Juan Pablo Montoya messing around with Tony Kanaan | 2022 Indy 500 Group Photo Breakout Room Highlights with Scott Dixon, Tony Kanaan, and Alexander Rossi Andretti IndyCar Drivers Test Their Pit Stop Skills | #AllAndretti | Indy 500 IndyCar's Alexander Rossi and Conor Daly on their The Amazing Race experience Conor Daly's epic reaction to Alexander Rossi vs Santino Ferrucci! Conor Daly & Alexander Rossi Visit Space Camp Doug and Drivers: Alexander Rossi Doug and Drivers, season 2: Alexander Rossi Alex's Aliens Butt Chugging Sunlight Guess the song Tiny Cars with James – Alexander Rossi Giving milk to Alexander Rossi James Hinchcliffe and Alexander Rossi: sharing a car at Daytona 24 Don’t touch the cones!!! How tall are McLaren drivers? Arrow McLaren: Red Flag Green Flag

Arrow McLaren: Red Flag Green Flag Again Measuring noses Alex making faces Which driver smells the best??? Wakeboarding Alex and Felix put up a tent Nashville Cowboy hat shopping Indianapolis Motor Speedway Fair Imitate Famous Landmarks Phone Flip - Drivers in the Paddock Part 1 Part 2 Driver Superlatives Part 1 Part 2 Trying Different candy part 1 part 2 Holiday Tree Blindfolded Challenge Holiday Family phototshoot Behind the Scenes Baking Challenge: Part 1 Baking Challenge: Part 2

Alex’s Creed obsession Rainy day activities Spill your guts game Intro Part 1 Part 2 Off Track with Hinch and Rossi – The Papaya One Area Codes Our cinnamon rolls Alex has a Pickleball court Go-to Karaoke song

Long Beach Runoff

Alex is known as the grumpy one, rarely smiling (so rare that it became a meme of sorts on social media of to comment when he did in 2022). This may be changing in 2023 with a change to McLaren after six years at Andretti. New season, new team, new Alex? Time will tell. He still isn't the most social of people, preferring people people (friends and family) over people (everyone else). He has a soft spot for child fans, often going out of his way to interact with them.

His conservative upbringing shows on occasion, particularly on his podcast where he and good friend James Hinchcliffe discuss the latest racing news and whatever else comes into their heads. The number of times James has said "No, Alex. We've talked about this." when Alex says something that could be considered concerning for a rational person to say (often related to those conservative views he was raised with) is numerous. Much credit to Mr. Hinchcliffe for having the patience to educate his friend.

Alex extensively researches (perhaps obsessively) what catches his interest, be it smoking meats, the PH of his pool, or weird flavored soda cocktails. He is generous to his closest friends, recently planning a "not Bachelor party" weekend for a friend. He is something of perfectionist and a (self-admitted) clean freak. He enjoys betting on sporting events, although now must do his betting through friends as he allowed James to parental lock the betting app on his phone.

Fanfic Lore

Good friends with James Hinchcliffe, James Hinchcliffe and Marco Andretti. The four could be considered a 'band of brothers'

Often paired with one of the others of the band.

Paired with teammate Pato O'Ward

[adventuretimetournament]

Adventure Time Skippable Episodes Tournament - Prequel

Welcome to what will be a tournament for the best "skippable" episode of Adventure Time! Before beginning, we need to decide which episodes count as skippable. There is a lot of debate about this, so I'd like some input before starting. This list came from Reddit user reapertuesday's reduced viewing guide and includes some episodes they marked as recommended.

The full list is under the cut. Before going over it, some Q&A:

Why call them skippable episodes? Why not filler or non-canon?

"Filler" refers to episodes that are made in order to prolong an adaptation of a source material. Adventure Time is an original creation, not based on a specific existing story, so there is no filler. In the same way, no episodes are "non-canon" unless specifically declared so by the crew.

So what defines a skippable episode?

To me, a skippable episode is any episode that does not:

Introduce a recurring character or item (e.g. Finn's various swords)*

Relate to a larger character development/arc/backstory or overarching plot point

Generally get a mention in any other episode

*A character introduced in one of these episodes may have a cameo in required episodes. However, if their presence isn't confusing even without watching their introduction episode, their intro episode may still be on the list. For example, Party God shows up at Prismo's party in S6 E1, but several other characters we don't know are also present, so it's not unusual even if you skipped his previous appearances.

Where are the Graybles, Fionna and Cake, and guest-animated episodes?

I consider these episodes to be kind of their own thing, contained in their own universe or singular episode. I know F&C have their own show now, but this list is specifically for watching Adventure Time proper, not any follow-up or spin-off material. Plus, at least one of the guest-animated episodes is considered genuinely non-canon, and I do want this list to have only canon episodes.

This episode isn't skippable, it's one of my favorites!

An episode being skippable doesn't mean it's not good - some of my favorite episodes are in this list. It just means that a first-time viewer can choose not to watch the episode and not be confused by anything later.

That being said, here is the list. Please reply in some form if you think an episode on here is required viewing (and explain why), or if you think I missed an episode. I'll give it one week before creating the bracket.

S1, E6: The Jiggler

S1, E8: Business Time

S1, E11: Wizard

S1, E13: City of Thieves

S1, E14: The Witch’s Garden

S1, E17: Wedding Bells Thaw

S1, E18: Dungeon

S1, E19: The Duke

S1, E21: Donny

S1, E23: Rainy Day Daydream

S1, E26: Gut Grinder

S2, E2: The Eyes

S2, E3: Loyalty to the King

S2, E4: Blood Under the Skin

S2, E5: Storytelling

S2, E6: Slow Love

S2, E7: Power Animal

S2, E9: The Other Tarts

S2, E13: The Pods

S2, E21: Belly of the Beast

S2, E26: Heat Signature

S3, E1: Conquest of Cuteness

S3, E4: Hitman

S3, E7: Still

S3, E13: From Bad to Worse

S3, E15: No One Can Hear You

S3, E16: Jake vs Me-Mow

S3, E17: Thank You

S3, E18: The New Frontier

S3, E21: Marceline’s Closet

S3, E22: Paper Pete

S3, E23: Another Way

S3, E24: Ghost Princess

S4, E3: Web Weirdos

S4, E8: Hug Wolf

S4, E9: Princess Monster Wife

S4, E11: Beyond this Earthly Realm

S4, E12: Gotcha!

S4, E14: Princess Cookie

S4, E17: BMO Noire

S4, E21: Who Would Win

S4, E23: The Hard Easy

S4, E24: Reign of Gunters

S5, E4: Up a Tree

S5, E5: All the Little People

S5, E7: Davey

S5, E8: Mystery Dungeon

S5, E10: Little Dude

S5, E17: BMO Lost

S5, E18: Princess Potluck

S5, E19: James Baxter the Horse

S5, E20: Shh!

S5, E21: The Suitor

S5, E22: The Party’s Over, Isla de Senorita

S5, E25: Candy Streets

S5, E27: Jake Suit

S5, E33: Time Sandwich

S5, E37: Box Prince

S5, E39: We Fixed a Truck

S5, E49: Bad Timing

S6, E5: Sad Face

S6, E8: Furniture & Meat

S6, E11: Little Brother

S6, E13: Thanks for the Crabapples, Giuseppe

S6, E14: Princess Day

S6, E15: Nemesis

S6, E17: Ghost Fly

S6, E18: Everything’s Jake

S6, E20: Jake the Brick

S6, E21: Dentist

S6, E31: Walnuts & Rain

S6, E32: Friends Forever

S6, E34: Chips & Ice Cream

S7, E4: Mama Said

S7, E5: Football

S7, E16: Angel Face

S7, E17: President Porpoise is Missing

S7, E18: Blank Eyed Girl

S7, E21: Scamps

S7, E25: The Thin Yellow Line

S8, E2: Don’t Look

S8, E18: Horse and Ball