#meanwhile im between two fears that both feel a little bit like home

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

Getting really into TMA is so funny because I feel like I've just been desensitised to everything. Was scrolling through the Fears to figure out which would probably claim me and like... disturbing but not all that scary, never really scared me too much, got over that, I just picked up a spider with my bare hands it's fine, that's been a constant since I was a kid and first heard about climate change, the scariest thing about this one is the fact that I relate too much and am still not scared, just feeling kinda understood, this one used to terrify me but by now it's morphed into a sort of comfort. I mean of course I still get afraid. But like. Not really like that I don't think. I'm just tired and stressed and not in a crushing Buried kind of way.

[normal-thoughts-official]

your “luke and alaric are married af” series made me transcend. they absolutely ARE. when i watched the show i really expected them to be in a canon relationship bc. it just seemed obvious. (me and magnus: you mean you’re NOT married??????) i’m surprised it’s such a small ship tbh. there is so much potential... i would love to hear more from u!!!!! what ideas do u have? first dates? how does maia react (i bet she’s like... duh? you’re my dads)? the story of luke’s epiphany omg???

for real!!! the chemistry and the love between them was so real and palpable and like hello? the way they always were on each other's corner? the Partners to Lovers dynamic?? the obvious mutual respect they had even though they were always butting heads? the way they always seemed to be growing together and not just fighting??? again the CHEMISTRY?? the fun little snippets we had like "it's never too early for teriyaki"?? literally we had so much to build an amazing romance and alaric is such a minor character his actor isn't even an actor he's a stunt double

like they had what 5 scenes and they all had such a great setup for romance or even for them to have been married the whole time??? they certainly had old married couple dynamics. fuck jocelyn i am speaking her out of existence. also i mean open relationships but why would luke even have a relationship with jocelyn when he had an actually good relationship to compare it to?

also the potential of their getting together being tied up to some personal growth from luke as an alpha and a downworlder in general like... most of their conflicts was because a part of luke still felt indebted to shadowhunters and their heritage and he kept putting the wolves last, and it would have been so good to see luke slowly realizing that he doesn't owe them shit and he gets to prioritize his own people and the people who are there for him, and him eventually choosing alaric over jocelyn being tied to choosing himself as he is now to who he used to be as a (terrible) shadowhunter...

not that it's alaric's job to fix luke obviously, but i don't think it would be "fixing" and this definitely wouldn't be a "teaching luke out of racism" story because when luke helped alaric as he became a werewolf he was already somewhat settled into werewolf life. i just think that a part of luke feels like he still owes loyalty to the people who hated him and it could have been a nice parallel to see him letting this go and getting with alaric. especially because alaric never coddled him, so, you know. and i think luke needed that little push in that sense. and alaric meanwhile would also be growing more confident into his role in the pack and in their job and getting the support he obviously still needed, and like, it could have been so good? definitely rocky before they sorted it out, but good. and of course sh had to waste the opportunity without even giving it thought because when don't they

anyway!!! as for your actual questions! first date is honestly so hard for me because i feel like their first date would feel like their billionth date. again i say, THEY ARE MARRIED whether they know it or not. so i can see their first official date going one of two ways: it's very lowkey, nothing they haven't done a thousand times before (like going to a small little family restaurant that they like, eating together, talking, maybe sharing a milkshake and they feel stupid but they're giggling and can't stop smiling and it makes them so happy that who cares) and it's absolutely PERFECT; OR they try to go all out and make it special and ~woo~ each other and it feels a little weird at first but it's still good and they get to enjoy the romantic ambience, hold hands over the table, and they're both a little shy because it feels like such a leap but it feels right

im gonna elaborate a little bit on both because i really love both??? so like they go to this little joint that is not the jade wolf or anything too close because they want to have this moment for tHEMSELVES, away from wherever anyone else from work or the shadow world might see them and from where they would think about it and associate with it. i am thinking... ohh some nice little place near where alaric's grown up? i'm headcanoning him as hondureño since we got no specifics other than his last name being rodriguez and i'm feeling like making him central american

and ALSO a great typical honduran dish is marinated meat and since luke is a beef jerky fan he would be all over that shit. i headcanon that luke knows alaric's family to some extent (i made a very quick reference to that in the second fic of the series) and i really love to think that luke has been to at least a few carneadas with alaric and his family?? which is aaaaaa another whole thing to talk about i might get back to it in a second but the DATE

also i like to think that luke would fall in love with rice and beans/casamiento because that is my rights. so like them going to the restaurant and having some meat (it's not really a carneada outside of the context of a carneada and for a date but like.. maybe pinchos or ye regular steak with urucum? i've had that in central brazil a few times and god i love it to death. or maybe chimol which sounds like something luke would like) with casamiento, tajadas, u know, the regular stuff? and it's lowey intimate because they are sharing the dish and it's something from alaric's culture you know??? god damn it i'm still talking about food. ONTO THE DATE

the point is that it's very casual and intimate but also uplifting and fun because this is a honduran restaurant we are talking about, so there's probably music, noise, alaric knows the family that runs it and possibly luke does too but they still have their space. maybe they get to dance a little bit because please god i am begging you, and luke has never had too many opportunities to dance before but it turns out he is a natural even if a little self conscious. i am picturing them dancing salsa which i kNOW is not an honduran dance but if the restaurant just leaves a Latin Music™ radio on as they usually do in latino restaurants in the US it's not that unlikely that it would play. and with alaric not being actually cuban he wouldn't humiliate luke too much. lmao

anyway most of the time they are just talking and teasing each other and every time luke takes a bite of the food he moans a little bit because he's a sucker for marinated meat and alaric wasn't even the one to cook it but goddamn if he doesn't feel proud of himself. and they share a drink (i guess the milkshake idea doesn't fit as well here but whatever they will get two straws for their iced tea or Tropical if they're feeling silly or agua de ensalada if they're feeling traditional. the point is that the lack of milkshake won't stop them from doing their dumb sappy thing) and are kind of laughing the whole time because it feels so teenage-y but to be fair luke DID just find out he was bisexual and figuring out your sexuality always brings in second puberty in terms of experiences. and alaric is not going to complain because it feels so sweet and right

and then the dancing which is fun and intimate and a little challenging for luke even if they aren't Full On Dancing Salsa, just a few moves here and there together but they get to be close and intimate and maybe alaric does some impromptu spinning and it makes them both laugh and maybe rub their noses together while they laugh and they are being so silly but they don't care

and basically they go home after hours, as you do, holding hands and a little drunk on each other, bumping shoulders on the way, alaric resting his head on luke's shoulder and luke on top of alaric's? and it makes walking a little awkward but god They Don't Care. and it just feels so perfect, like home and family and everything they are to each other :))))

really wanna add an "and then they fuck like rabbits" at the end but anyway i'll try not to ruin it

second date option! full out fanciness. they are already partners, they have seen each other in every possible situation, they know their worse, they know their married ways, but they want to have a ROMANTIC first date! lay thick their new relationship status. woo each other! show each other what amazing caring boyfriends/husbands they are. be adults!

they pick some fancy restaurant that luke may or may not have gotten suggested to him by magnus when he called him in a bit of panic because he is not very well versed in fancy restaurants and the like. maybe magnus even takes that extra step and portals them somewhere extra romantic like venice or whatever but i think they'd want to be independent in terms of going there and back so maybe not. anyway the point is, fancy restaurant! suits! they are a bit more nervous than they usually would because they haven't been in a place like this in waaayyy too long and they've never done anything remotely similar to that together before so it feels like a new territory and they kiinda want to prove something even though that's stupid because they've already chosen each other

but it goes well???? not as natural as the first date idea but that might just be me and thinking that casualness is the most romantic thing, and either way, it still feels so right and good. they get to sip wine, hold hands over the table, say something sweet to each other over entrees, share dessert, bicker over who gets to pay. again the marriedness of it all absolutely slips through but there is that new element that they are getting to explore and that feels so nice

and it's never stilted and forced, even if they are a little nervous, they are still themselves and it goes down smoothly and they are happy that it worked so well because there is always that fear in a best friends to lovers kinda situation that things will just feel weird, especially when you're both adults and have so much history. but it doesn't, it feels romantic and new and exciting and as they leave they tease each other a little bit like "after you, gentleman" and laugh together 🥺🥺🥺

and they have their first kiss as they leave and they both linger a little bit as they just stand under the stars and keep their eyes closed and their hands linked together and i need a moment oh my god

this got too long so i'm separating the answers for the different questions: maia's reaction (link), luke's epiphany (link)

[cassoliver]

new york’s very own cassandra “cass” oliver was spotted on broadway street in reebok club c 85 vintage shoes . your resemblance to  sydney sweeney is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your  twenty-first  birthday bash . while living in nyc ,  you’ve been labeled as being  naive  , but also compassionate . i guess being a  pisces  explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be exposed tan lines , loud laughter , and only ever wearing gold jewelry  . ( i slept with one of my co-stars while we were shooting on location, not knowing they had a significant other back home )  &  ( cis-female & she / her  )

lia takes on a second character TAKE TWO whAT is up you guys , it’s ya girl back at it again with another muse . i randomly got a lot of inspiration for this new girly pop and i feel p good about it ! go ahead and smash that mf like button if you wanna plot ! i can slide into your ims or on discord if that’s more your jam !

S T A T S ↴

– * FULL NAME : cassandra rosemary oliver – NICKNAME(S) : cass ( commonly referred as ), cassie – * AGE : twenty-one – * D.O.B : march 16th – * ZODIAC : pisces – * GENDER : cis-female –* ORIENTATION : bisexual biromantic – * HEIGHT : 5′4″ – * NATIONALITY : american – * BIRTHPLACE : asbury park , new jersey – * OCCUPATION : student + actress – * TRAITS : compassionate, creative, intuitive, gentle, empathetic, fun-loving, naive, whimsical, loyal, subservient, overly emotional, pensive, fearful, overly trusting

B I O G R A P H Y ↴

   you’d have to be living under a rock to not know jeremy and elizabeth marie oliver . think brad pitt and angelina jolie , will smith and jada pinkett , or whatever other celebrity IT couple you fancy . jeremy is notoriously known for his acting career that took off in the late 80′s . around the same time , elizabeth marie’s acting / modeling career was taking off across the pond . the iconic duo met through work and quickly fell in love . after their over the top wedding ceremonies ( yes plural . they got married once in jeremy’s hometown in new jersey and then again in elizabeth marie’s hometown in england ). shortly after their holy matrimony , they produced three healthy babies : mason , samuel , and cassandra . there were a few years in between the kiddos , but they were all raised in a tight knit family outside of the limelight in asbury park , new jersey . their parents decided to take a break from working in order to raise their kids . i wish i could say that gave the oliver trio a normal childhood . but it’s kind of hard to go to public school and not draw attention to yourself when your parents are household names . it was hard for cassandra to understand that her parents were super famous and for some reason that meant something to people . if you asked her , there was no reason to get all starstruck over her parents . they were just people after all .

    so i guess you could say she had a normal childhood . at least , as normal as one could have with their name and photos constantly plastered all over tabloids . cassandra grew up in a happy and loving environment , which is nice . and with her dad working part time as a professor at his alma mater , juilliard , she and her family bounced back and forth between their coastal home in new jersey and their urban townhouse in new york . and she throughly enjoyed experiencing the best of both worlds . both places felt like home to her and she and her brothers made the best memories together . see , her brothers were her best friends growing up . mason and samuel were five (5) and three (3) years older than her , respectively , and she followed them around everywhere they went . the two boys let her reluctantly at first when mom and dad forced them to but over time it became enjoyable to have her be just another member of their friend group . cassandra was well liked and throughly protected by her brothers and their friends . they shielded her away from all things dangerous : from substances to rude people . this led to a pretty sheltered upbringing . she lived in this little bubble where things were all good all the time .

   as she got older , she had to learn to fend for herself a bit more . no longer was she under the watchful gaze of her brothers , for they had rushed into graduating high school early so that they could pursue their own acting careers-- following in line with their infamous parents . having the oliver last name gave them an advantage in the film industry and they ran with that opportunity . meanwhile , cassandra stayed back and took her time . acting was always something she was interested in . there’s no way she could be a member of her household and not dabble in the art at least a little bit . but it wasn’t a top priority to her for a long time . she didn’t want to rely on her family name to get her somewhere in the industry . if she was going to do it , she wanted to do it right . she wanted to earn her place just like anybody else . and if it worked out for her then great ! and if it didn’t , well she prepared a back-up plan . she elected to go to NYU for business instead of studying acting or just bypassing college all together . she figured if all else failed , then she’d start her own company and branch out of the creative arts .

  and she took her college career very seriously . she’s studious and hard-working , genuinely enjoying learning new things and having a ‘ normal college experience ’. even though people still look at her funny or talk about her behind her back once they figure out why she looks so gosh darn familiar , she’s come to find that college students are much more chill than the kids that used to bombard her with questions about her famous family on the play ground . most days , cassandra gets by feeling like a completely normal girl . no fame or fortune , just a regular schemgular student trying to get by . and she’d probably gotten away with just melting into the background and never breaking out into the limelight if it wasn’t for one little netflix project she agreed on .

  it was just supposed to be another passion project . cassandra had done a few small roles in indie movies at that point . just enough to dip her toes into the movie making world but not enough to drag her away from getting a higher education . but when a script for a new netflix original series was slid in her direction by a family friend turned agent-- well , she just couldn’t put it down ! she loved everything about the show and knew she just had to be a part of it . so she gave up one summer of her life to film OUTER BANKS , not at all thinking that it would blow up the way it did a year later when it premiered . and now news is breaking out that the youngest oliver is finally stepping out into the acting scene , which is warranting a lot of media attention towards her . honestly , she feels pretty good about the project itself . she’s very proud of the show and is incredibly grateful that it’s doing as well as it is . but when it comes to all the notoriety she’s getting because of it , well ... she’s still adjusting to being famous in her own right and not just secondhand through her family . she’s a little overwhelmed . she’s a big girl now that has to navigate through this next chapter of her life without anybody holding her hand or shielding her from the highs and lows of being known . whether or not she thrives in the limelight or crumbles under the pressure is to be determined .

P E R S O N A L I T Y  &  F U N  F A C T S ↴

i think it’s really funny to call her the third franco brother ( yes dave and james have a third brother , his name is tom ). bc like her brothers are essentially mega stars w all the movies they’ve been in at this point and she’s sort of the other sibling that everyone forgets about . y’know until recently lol

she is a giant sweetheart !! just v lovey and kind and empathetic ,, has a warmth to her that makes it feel like it’s summertime all the time

v humble bc she does not consider herself famous what so ever . like being second-hand famous from her family and getting a few extra instagram followers bc of her last name is one thing , but with the success of her current show she’s being put on covers of magazines , being interviewed for teen vogue and stuff like that , getting verified on everything , and gaining hundreds of thousands of followers DAILY . it’s crazy to her

naive in the sense that she’s rlly out here thinking that everyone has a heart as big as hers and has only the best intentions when sadly that might not be the case !! so like ,,,, probs gets taken advantage of and doesn’t even realize it . or messes things up bc she thinks she can just continue living a normal average joe life when in reality her whole life has been far from average ,, the whole world’s got their eye on her and everything she says and does publicly can and will be scrutinized and she is just …. not prepared for that

wants to have a good time and do cool art sh*t !! as long as she’s being creative in some aspect , she’s happy . honestly doesn’t take a lot to make her happy

but also when she gets sad oh boy oh boy does she get sad . pretty much down and out and nothing anyone says or does can make her feel better unfortunately . will just self isolate and you just gotta let her ride it out ://

hobbies include painting , reading , collecting plants , and taking photos

has a second instagram account just for her photography ! @casstookthis lol

lives with her “babies” which are like 10 house plants and all of her books

v family oriented ! goes to visit her parents regularly and talks to her brothers basically daily despite living on two different coasts

acting was always something she knew she wanted to do-- and that may or may not have to do w her parents’ influence and the pressure to follow in their foot steps just like her brothers did 

as kids , she and her brothers would work together to put on performances in the living room for their parents . they’d make “short films” and upload them to all 6 of their subscribers on youtube

allergic to cats but wants one so bad ,, has never had a pet in her life actually

the little things amuse her . her sense of humor is really quite simple . hit her w some puns and / or a dad joke and you’ll have her rolling

is learning how to speak mandarin and french

always over-prepared , never underprepared ,, needs to feel like she is capable of handling anything or else she panics

cannot tell a lie to save her life , gets nervous and can’t make eye contact

at any given moment , you can tell what she’s thinking and what she’s feeling just from taking one look at her face . sometimes she tries to mask it because she is an actress after all . but it’s not hard to see through the facade that she puts on if you know her well

hopeless romantic af ! romanticizes everything in life ! loves love in all forms , romantic , platonic , self love , whatever ! looks at the world through rose tinted glasses and heart eyes ! probably falls in love with a person , place , or thing at least 5 times a day !

prefers summer and living near a beach / some body of water over living in the middle of the city . so she’ll often visit back home or go stay with her brothers in LA , not just to be closer to family , but to be more in her element

her family has so many houses simply bc their lives are all over the place ???? like they kept her childhood home in new jersey but they also always had a luxury townhouse in new york plus a summer home in the hamptons and a cottage in england and an apartment in los angeles that her brothers currently reside in . she used to just stay in the townhouse while going to school but she recently bought her own apartment bc she wants to be #independent

might catch her as the lead in a new netflix original movie coming soon *wink wink*

is in love with her best friend east harvey and they’re getting married

WANTED CONNECTIONS PAGE HERE

[thequeenofadream]

You (Roger Taylor x Reader)

Summary: You by Dodie Clark, but with a twist ;)

Words: 3676

Notes: TW: MENTIONS OF ALCOHOL DRINKING AND ALMOST GETTING HIT. angsty at first, but gets pretty fluffy uwu haha + swearing + lyrics are italicized 

A/N:  this is for @queens-n-roses 2k writing challenge anddd reading all the other entries got me thinking well shit so here i am in all my shittiness ha ha ha anyways this is also my first time doing a song thing so tell me what you guys think! also also this is late bc im on my last weeks of school so sorry but expect more fics during summer!! (march-june for all ur western people) sdfdjks u know what im gonna leave a seperate post for the a/n fic bc yall i have kwento bye love you all <3

☀ tagging: @obsessedwithrogertaylor @malekdarling @i-padfootblack-things

~~~~~~~~~

I told you I was looking for some empathy

Well, you fooled me

You slammed the door of the apartment you and Roger shared. You had just broken up with you boyfriend, Zach, as he was a misogynistic prick. He had insisted that you move out of your apartment with Rog and move in with him.

You had repeatedly told him no, especially since moving was expensive for college student. You had also only been dating for a month, and the whole thing seemed too fast. In response, he called you a ‘whore’ and ‘cheating bitch’, but the thing that took the cake was when he had punched a hole in his wall, which missed you by a mere inch.

You told him that you never wanted to see his face again, and got out of there, leaving him in a shocked state.You ran straight home, never looking back, tears running down your face. You couldn’t believe you didn’t see his nasty attitude before, but you were glad you got out of it before anything escalated.

Roger was sitting on the couch reading a car magazine, when the sharp noise caused his to dart up seeing you in disarray. You marched right over to your room and closed the door, leaving Rog completely clueless to whatever had happened. He followed you quietly, wanting to comfort you, but the door was locked shut.

He put his ear against the door, trying to make out anything from your sobs, but all he could hear was your crying. He’d seen you cry before, but not to the point that didn't even talk to him. It concerned him a lot, but instead of getting the spare key, he decided to give you some space for now. He told himself he’d make it up in the morning.

You were glad you had stashed a bottle of vodka in the dark corners of your cabinet. You were a shaky mess while the bottle sat in your hand. You placed the bottle between your lips, feeling the taste of alcohol rush into your mouth. It left a burning sensation as it made its way down to your stomach.

You didn’t know what you were feeling right now, but it definitely helped you take your mind off what had just happened.

You fell asleep on the floor with your back against your bed. Your mind wandered between fear, anger and sadness during your last moments of consciousness.

The next morning, you woke up with a pounding headache. The soft pillow on underneath your head, made you feel the slightest bit better. Wait. You realised you were up on your bed, tucked in your comfy duvy. The light peered through your windows making your head throb at the brightness.

You looked away to darker parts of your room, seeing some pain relievers and a glass of water sitting on your night stand which only perpetuated your confusion. Nonetheless, you took them both, making you feel just a bit better. You were about to get up when your door swung open, hitting the wall.

“Whoops I’m sorry.”

You saw Roger holding a tray of pancakes. The stack of pancakes was adorned by powdered sugar and a trickling waterfall of maple syrup. It was such a heavenly sight, you had to restrain yourself from lunging at the sight of it. You couldn’t believe that Roger had made it for you. You couldn't believe Roger was responsible for it. He sat on your side of the bed placing the pancakes down.

When he had gotten a good look at you, he saw how distraught you were. You eyes were sore and puffy; Your hair was disheveled mess, sticking out in all directions. It was a good thing he left the pain relievers for you.

“What’s the occasion?” You practically drooling over the pancakes as Roger set them down.

“You seemed sad last night, so I head to the local diner and got some takeaway pancakes.”

“I knew you couldn’t have made them! and if you did, i guess that i’d have a big mess to clean.”

You both laughed. He’d been your best friend for five years now, and you both knew each other like the back of your hand. He handed you a fork as you wasted no time taking a bite out of them. It was a divine breakfast to say the least. You were devouring every piece as if it was your first meal in a hundred years. Roger could only sit back and watch, amused by how much happiness these pancakes. Little did he know it wasn’t necessarily the pancakes that made you happy.

“So were the pain relievers from you as well?” You asked, finishing up the last bit of pancakes. You laid your back against the headboard, the paper plate and plastic fork in hand.

“Yup, it scared me how much vodka you had drunk.” There was pity in his eyes as he said it. He saw how much was left in the bottle you held while you slept and it petrified him. For a second he thought you had died, but his worries were quickly washed away when he felt a pulse.

“Well yeah, you’ll have to remind me in the coming days.”

You trailed off, remembering your sorrow and pain from last night. You set down the now empty plate and fork onto the trail and took the glass of water from the night stand. Roger frowned seeing you still weren’t over what ever had happen. He thought that he might get punched for asking the question, but it was inevitable.

“So, what happened?”

You continued drinking your water, not really wanting to answer. You wanted to put it off for as long as possible, but Rog was persistent.

“You know you’ll have to talk about it sooner or later. It’s not healthy to keep it in, especially since you almost killed yourself over it.”

You stopped drinking and took a deep sigh. He was right.

“Zach and I broke up. He-” Your breath hitched and tears threatened to flood down your cheek.

Roger reddened, at the mention of Zach’s name. He always thought he condescending asshole. He’d always try to play nice around him just so you could be happy, but there were times when he couldn’t. He’d tell you that he was a dick or a pisshat. You’d always tell him to give Zach a chance, but deep down inside you agreed with every little statement.

“What’d the bloody wanker do?”

The anger in his eyes was terrifying. They were like lightning bolts that were about to strike at any moment, any where.

“He almost punched me, but he missed. He left a hole in the wall instead.”

You spoke softly as a tear rolled down your left cheek. You would have shrugged it off convincing Roger it wasn’t a big deal, but you couldn’t lie. You were horror-struck.

Meanwhile, Roger would have gone into complete hysterics if he wasn’t sitting on your bed at the moment. He tried to compose himself, but he couldn’t. He was ready to throw tables. He was ready to smack the Zach into the bloody ocean. He tensed up everywhere and you noticed his arms’ veins were completely evident. His gaze went dark as he angrily grit through his teeth.

“I’ll kill him.”

You put a hand on his arm, trying your best to get him to calm down. You stroke his arm gently, as he directed his attention back to you.

“Rog, I’m fine, no scars, no cuts. I’m just scared he might come looking for me.”

“I promise I won’t let that happen. I’ll always be there for you.”

He gave you a badly needed hugged, as he realised you needed to be comforted first and foremost. Despite the tight hug, it felt kind and tender. You sank into the hug as it was the first time someone had touched you with such affection and care. You truly felt loved.

Just a touch and a thought and I was gone

It had been days since the incident and you were relatively fine. You hadn’t seen Zach anywhere and you were starting to get back on your feet. Roger had really helped you get back to your normal self. He’d always speak out about his desire to “beat the shit and bullocks out the bloody cunt”, but you’d assure him, you didn’t even want to hear about him anymore.

Tonight was your first night out since, and Roger was accompanying you to be your wingman of sorts. He had thoroughly convinced you to get out and mingle and you had finally gave in. He had also invited Fred, Brian and John, but they all had turned it down last minute; something about them all going to the same meeting. It was a very bullshit excuse, but you and Rog didn’t really mind. It was high time the two of you had some best friend bonding anyways.

You were looking through dresses in your wardrobe, when you had finally found the perfect one. You went with a sparkly tube that ended mid-thigh; You thought it would do nicely with the white pair of boots you had bought the other day. You looked in the mirror, checking yourself out for a moment before you heard a voice from your bedroom doorway.

“I’d check myself out too if I were you.”

You looked back to see the blonde drummer himself, leaning against the door frame. A blush spread throughout your cheeks at his flirtatious comment; his flirtatious comments were quite regular, but you couldn’t help but blush.

Ever since he comforted you, you couldn’t help but feel more amorous around him. You’ve tried to brush it off, but your little crush on your best friend was growing stronger and stronger by the minute.

“Uh yeah well we should get going, before it gets too crowded.”

You hid your face behind your purse as you walked past him. He looked at you in confusion, wondering why you’d become so embarrassed all of a sudden, because you usually had some witty remark ready, but he followed nonetheless.

The walk to bar was relatively normal; you both talked about your day at university. You couldn’t help but stare intently into his eyes during conversation. You mentally scolded yourself for looking at him so love-struck.

By the time you had gotten to the bar, the chaotic atmosphere was in full swing. The pungent aroma of alcohol filled the air as you both stepped in. You both looked at each other knowing exactly what to do. He headed to bar to get some drinks while you searched for a booth. You pushed past the crowd to find a small booth by the corner of the bar. You slipped and looked around, really taking in the scene.

You toyed with the hem of the dress you wore, not really knowing what else to do. You came here feeling pretty confident, but now you really just wished you were home alone with Rog, playing scrabble. You came to impress the masses, but you were having second thoughts. You realised that the only reason you agreed to this whole night out thing was to impress Roger.

It seemed to always be about him.

You pressed your head against the table, realising just how strong you’d fallen in love with him. It was pathetic to say the least. You had fallen in love with a rising drummer who is known to steal the hearts of many. How could one compete?

You had barely spent five minutes in the pub, but you knew it wasn’t going to be a fun night. You decided you were gonna tell him this whole thing was too much for you and you were going to head home. You stood up from your booth and went to the bar.

When you got there, you found several girls fawning over him; You felt that he was the Queen Helen at times, just like Helen, his handsome face could start bloody wars.

You hoped that maybe he would accompany you home and you could hang out, but it was obvious he going home with someone who definitely wasn’t you. You squeezed through the crowd of females, before Roger noticed you and called out your name.

“(Y/N)! Sorry, I got a bit carried away.” He gestured towards the girls who cornered him into the tight spot.

“It’s fine. I’m just gonna head home, I remembered as assignment or two due tomorrow.” You lied, not really looking at him.

He was too drunk to hear you over the loud music, but he nodded thinking you said that you were going to head home with someone. There was a ping of jealousy that shot through his veins, but he ignored it. This was your night, he wasn’t going to stop you from having any fun.

You were a bit scared to leave all alone, but you quickly pushed those those thoughts away as you walked towards the exit. As you left the pub, rain started pouring. You rolled your eyes, sarcastically thanking the world for such great luck. You ran home as fast as you could but by the time you got home, you were soaking wet and too tired to do anything. You just changed into dry clothes and fell asleep on the couch whilst watching an episode of coronation street.

Why do all the red flags

Just look like so much fun, oh

I have a habit of searching for the damage

To share my love

You were out with your friend, Maria, having a chatting over some tea at cafe near the University. You were talking about random things that came to mind, until she brought up your love life.

“So, I heard you finally broke up with that awful douchebag, Zach.” She raised an eyebrow, hoping it was very much true. You just nodded in response, not really wanting to talk about it.

“Well, have you been out since?”

“Nope, but I did go to the pub with Rog the other night. I left early, but he went home with someone else.”

Your eyes lit up when you Roger’s name, but it quickly faded when you remembered he didn’t go home with you. Someone else ended up in his arms that night. Maria noticed this very clearly and did not hesitate to bring it up.

“Do you fancy Roger?”

She asked simply, taking a sip of her tea. You blushed, not really knowing how to respond. You hadn’t told anyone about your sudden intrigue towards him, so your mind was trying to find a response, before your friend answered the question herself.

“Oh my god, you have! You’re absolutely flustered.” She pointed at your cheeks that were as red as ever. She laughed at how embarrassed you were over it.

“Can you shut up! Nobody knows.” You scolded her, swatting her hands away. You drank some of your tea, to hide the increasing temperature of your cheeks as Maria calmed down.

“As much as I love your little friendship, that’s a really bad idea.” She said seriously. You put your cup down, listening to what she had to say.

“I mean no offense, but Roger’s well Roger. Literally everyone knows him as hot drummer you have to take home at the end of the night. You’re just you. You probably just fell in love with him, because you had no one else to love.

You were a tad offended by it. You could possibly in a relationship with infamous drummer, Roger Taylor, right? You thought she was probably just jealous that you had been friends since high school, while she was just another girl in the long list of girls that wanted to talk to him. You were also very sure loved him. You didn’t think of him as just some rebound that you’d stick with until you found someone better. You thought that he was that someone better.

You tried your best to assure yourself that you weren’t a pathetic loser who had fallen in love Roger throughout the rest of your meeting with Maria.

In the end, you didn’t really succeed and you were starting to hope your infatuation was just passing.

People will tell me that I messed up

And it wasn't love

And I'm secretly hoping they are right

“Hey (Y/N), I’m sorry I let you leave alone.”

Roger suddenly blurted from across the couch. You raised your head up from the book you were reading. You wondered why he had brought it up in this particular moment. You were both across each other reading books when he had brought up the subject.

This was the first time in a while that you were together, silent. You have been refrained from seeing him too much, because you were trying to let your crush on him die in peace, but it just wouldn’t. You decided today you’d have a lazy saturday and lounge around. It just so happened that you both decided to read a book in the living room right after breakfast.

“What do you mean?” You furrowed your eyebrows, not really sure if he was talking about that night.

“I mean the first night you went out in a while. I thought you said you were going home with someone else.” He said empathetically completely putting down the book he was reading to join you on your side of the couch.

“It’s fine really, don’t worry about it.” You said going back to your book, continuing where you left off. That was when he stole the book from your grasp and tossed it aside, allowing you to focus on him.

“Ro-”

“It’s not okay. You were still recovering from asshat, Zach. What if he had found you that night?”

You just realised that possibility; you hadn’t noticed it with everything running through your mind that night, but you thought it was fine now. You were fire. Everything was fine.

“It’s fine I ran home, it was raining.” You said, looking away. Roger frowned seeing you weren’t going to budge. He scooted back the slightest bit and gave you some room to breathe.

“I just care about you a lot.” His whisper almost was almost inaudible, but you not absolutely.

“I really am fine. I’d tell you if I felt otherwise, promise.” You said looking back at him, meaning what you said. He sighed, before speaking up again.

“Then why have you been avoiding me the whole week? It’s like I barely even see you anymore and we live in the same apartment!” He said throwing his arms up. You bit your lip, wondering if this was the best time.

“Rog, I don’t think it-”

“Please.”

He looked at you pleadingly. He did not like not seeing you, he hated it. He missed the way you lit up a room with your smile. It was like his sun had been gone the whole week. He was starting to worry if he had done something wrong and that was when he remembered the night you both went out.

When he came back home in the morning, he saw you still sleeping on the couch. He realised he had misheard and you had actually gone home by yourself. He had been filled with guilt since then.

“I think I love you, okay?” You admitted quietly as you looked down, fiddling with your fingers.

“You think?” He asks. He was obviously ecstatic at the idea that you loved him, but wondered why you thought so. He wondered why you weren’t sure.

“It’s just that you’re you! I don’t know why I just fell for you all of sudden. I started noticing all these little things about you and they just made me fall deeper and deeper. I thought it would just go away, but it hasn’t. You keep me up at night, Roger Taylor.” You finished, taking a deep breathe.

“What if I told you I loved you too?”

“Well then I’d guess I’d have no choice, but to love you back. I mean this whole wanting to kiss you and everything isn’t going away.” You joked, trying to lighten up the mood.

“Well, I’ve loved you for quite some time, if you must know.”

“Yeah that’s funny.”

You laughed, while Roger did not really know how to respond. You thought he joking back, but he was dead serious. You realised this and stopped laughing abruptly.

“Wait, really?”

“Yes, you’re really just oblivious aren’t you?”

You blinked once and pinched yourself to ensure this wasn’t a dream. You were surprised to find out it in fact was not. Your (E/C) eyes went wide as you looked at his blue ones, which were waiting for any kind of response.

“(Y/N)?” He asked waving a hand in front of you. You snapped out of your trance and tried to speak, but it all just came out as jumbled words.

“Me? Like? You? Too? Some Time?!” You mumbled as Roger laughed at the priceless look on your face. You seemed to be absolutely surprised to this revelation. Two people who have been best friends and living with each other for over 5 years fall in love? You thought it didn’t add up.

“I could just save you some and kiss you if you’d like?” He said as your stomach did backflips at the mere thought of it. You nodded as he cupped your face and pressed his lips against yours.

You hummed happily at how sweet it was. Funnily enough, the kiss was what brought you back to reality; you started to kiss back. Your lips were both in sync with one another as if they had been aching to meet each other for such a long time. When you both pulled away, all you could think is about kissing him again.

“Yes I do love you.”

“Sure?”

“Positive.”

Oh, I really hope I don't love you

~~~~~~~~~

[thenamesseven]

Warnings: This story will be kind of angsty so if you’re not into that then it will be better to not read it

Today was one of those days when you felt nostalgic. 

Sitting on the couch surrounded by old photos you couldn’t help the smile that crept up to your lips.

The ones in your hand held memories about the first few months of your relationship with Jinyoung, the first time you managed to went together to an amusement park, when he took you to the aquarium, when you went to have a picnic late at night together or that one time he dressed up just to take you shopping. 

The ones on your left captioned the first time you were allowed to hang out with the rest of GOT7. You remember being so nervous, so worried about the guys not liking you that you almost threw up when they opened the door of their dorm to you. You chuckled at the memory of Jackson being truly concerned, really thinking you were sick while the other guys understood that you were just nervous. The guys warmed up to you soon and like Bambam and Yugyeom once said you ended up being GOT7′s eighth member.

The pictures on your right showed the beggining of your new life together by each other's side. There were photos of all GOT7 and you in your new apartment painting the walls, making a huge mess but clearly having fun. There were also pictures of the day of your wedding and the honey moon in which after a lot of convincing conversations with Jackson, Jinyoung decided to take you to Hong Kong.

Dating and marrying an idol was never easy. There has been some fights in the way, a lot of different problems the both of you had to overcome but you never ever have regretted meeting Jinyoung. He always found time to make you feel special, he always made up for the time he was on tour instead of at home cuddling with you and no matter how much stress he was dealing with Jinyoung would always come back home with a smile, talk with you and spoil you with affection. He somehow managed to make you feel like you were still in your first months of dating.

Little did you know what was awaiting for you in the upcoming days.

Suddenly, the door to your apartment opened and a tired Jinyoung made his way inside. He walked slowly, taking his time to close the door without making any noise probably thinking you were asleep. However when he heard the quiet sound you made when you smiled he turned around surprised, kind of shocked to find you sitting on the carpet in your living room at almost 2 am.

“Can’t sleep baby?” He asked with a small smile, taking off his jacket before he walked deeper into the apartment until he was standing right infront of me “What are you doing, hmm?"

Jinyoung joined me on the carpet. He sat down behind me, opening his legs so I could sit between them with his chest against my back. An inevitable smile pulled up my lips when his arms found their way around my body to keep me close to him, his lips leaving a gentle kiss on my cheek before he rested his chin on my shoulder.

“I just found these pictures and ended up taking a look at them” I rested my head against his while he reached out and grabbed some photos from my hand to look at them “Remember when we went to the amusement park? We we got on so many rides…” You chuckled turning your head to look at him. Jinyoung had a small smile on his lips as he stared down at the pictures but you could feel he wasn’t happy, there was a tiny bit of sadness on his face, his eyes brighting with a feeling you couldn’t recognized “And you gave me a Teddy Bear! That was so cute” He nodded quietly, his lips finding their way to your cheek once again.

“I’ll take you there again, I promise” Jinyoung's promises had always been strong, his tone was always determined when he promised you something but tonight he sounded hesitant, like if he didn’t know if you were still going to be there for him in the future. You just assumed he was really tired and that’s why he was acting so weird. “We need to wait nine months though, we can’t have you getting on all those dangerous ride while you’re pregnant”

“But baaabe~ The baby and I would have so much fun in those rides though” You muttered pounting, being silly, teasing him “And we would just have to pay for two tickets instead of three” Jinyoung smiled brightly and smacked the back of your head softly, playfully. Meanwhile you collected the pictures you had spread on the floor and place them back in the box where they were being kept.

“You need to stop hanging around Bambam and Jackson, that’s something one of them would definitely say” He muttered standing up, making you laugh softly. Before you could stand up too Jinyoung picked you up, it was something that has always been pretty easy for him since you were kind of small and started walking down the corridor to the bedroom “Let’s get in bed, we have to wake up early tomorrow”

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow was going to be the first time both of you would see the baby you were expecting. You were two months pregnant and your belly was starting to grow, not too much but enough for people to realize there was life growing up inside of you. When you recieved the news about being pregnant, you had been a little scared about Jinyoung’s reaction since it hadn’t been something the both of you had planned. However, your husband received the news extremely happy, like he seemed pretty excited about being a dad.

Once laying in bed you rolled on your side to watch him change his clothes, how his muscles bulged slightly as he pulled off his white shirt, how his tiredly yet strong arms pulled down his jeans. Smiling you bit your lower lip, still not believing how lucky you were to have a husband like him. You would have never ever imagine a girl like you would end up with somebody as amazing and sweet as him. 

"Come here" With a bigger smile you opened your arms for him as soon as he joined you under the covers, a silent smile on his lips when he leaned in to let you hug him. “Aren’t you excited for tomorrow?” You asked pecking his lips, one of your hands moving up and down on his back.

“I can’t wait for it, I couldn’t stop talking about it today” He admitted with a soft chuckle, moving a little so you could lay down with your head on his chest, one of his arms wrapped around you. Jinyoung yawned, resting his head against yours as he closed his eyes “But you need to get some rest if you don’t want to be falling asleep while they do the ultrasound” He kissed your head, you could feel him breathing in the scent of your hair. Some people would find this creepy but it wasn't for you, in fact, you knew this calmed him down.

“Fine, fine...I’ll try to get some sleep”

You closed your eyes, one of your hands gently wrapped around his body while your head rested on his chest listening to his relaxing heart beats. Now that he was back, laying next to you, it didn’t took too long for you to drift off to sleep.

Jinyoung was the only one awake now. 

His eyes were down on your sleeping figure, the way your face looked so peaceful and calm kind of pierced through his heart. He felt guilty for what he was doing behind your back, it was slowly killing him, why was he doing it then? He didn’t know. Maybe it was because he found the dancer he met a long time ago way more different than you, she was attractive in her own way and there was not a single similarity between the two of you.

The dancer, named, Sun Hee, was the definition of risk, wild and reckless. While you have always been as soft as a marshmallow, always being sweet and adorable for him. You have always kept him sexually satisfied, that didn’t seem to be the answer as to why he was cheating but still, he kept finding himself falling into the temptation, his body betraying him and finding its way back between the other woman's legs. He didn’t have feelings for her, he would never love Sun Hee the way he loved you and he knew he needed to stop but how? Should he tell you what he's been doing? How would the other woman react? Would she tell you? For God’s Sake you were carrying his child in your belly, he really needed to stop before this kept getting worse.

His phone buzzed on the nightstand next to his side of the bed, pulling him away from his train of thoughts. Jinyoung shifted slightly on his place to take it and read the message that a certain somebody had sent him. He felt you snuggling up closer to him, mumbling some sleepy yet incoherent stuff in your sleep as he unlocked his phone.

“Can we meet tomorrow Jinyoungie~? I really need to repeat what happened today”

He looked down at you before looking at the text again. What he was doing to you was absolutely unfair and the sooner this stopped the better. He would find a way to tell you eventually and no matter how much you’ll hit him or insult him, he’ll take it because he knows he deserves it.

“Babe?”

Jinyoung jumped a little, his eyes instantly going down to your sleepy face buried against his chest, his heart pounding with fear. “What is it baby?” He asked in a soft tone, shifting so you wouldn't hear how fast his heart was beating. That could have been the end, you could have perfectly see he was texting another girl if you had opened your eyes.

“I love you” You whispered. The guilt in his body making his heart shatter into thousands of tiny pieces.

“I love you too” He replied in a hoarse tone. Holding back the sad sigh that wanted to escape his lips.

“Meet me after practise, we need to talk and it has to be quick”

And with that, letting the guilt consumed him im the dreadful silence of the room, Jinyoung went to sleep.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was around 12:00.

You were sitting in the waiting room for the doctor’s appointment, both of your hands pressed together as you tried to distract yourself reading the posters about pregnancy that were on the walls. All of them had little tips about how to deal with small and silly problems that you would sure have with your kid. You took your time reading the one about how to feed babies and some common problems some childs have in their first months, you also read instructions for how to perfectly hold them and there was even a poster that spoke about ways to take care of your skin and body after giving birth.

You glanced back down at your watch, 12:15.

Your appointment was in five minutes and Jinyoung wasn’t there yet. You had the small temptation to call him or Jaebum to beg him to let Jinyoung finish with practise a bit earlier since you really wanted to be there with him to see the baby for the first time but you didn’t want to bother the guys. Work was really important for all of them and you never wanted to be a bother so you just sat back down.

It would really be a shame if Jinyoung didn’t make it to the appointment, you really didn’t want to go in there alone. However, you couldn’t be mad.

You knew he was working hard to take care of you and the baby that was coming.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

With one last thrust Jinyoung took Sun Hee to her second orgasm, the twitch of her body and the moans she quietly let go making him cum inside the condom he had used. He held her against the wall weakly, not moving too much since his pants and undewear were still wrapped around his ankles keeping him still. Sun Hee moved her hands up his scratched back to his neck and leaned in to kiss Jinyoung's lips, however he rejected it and put her back down on the floor.

“Shit, shit, shit….Im late” He whispered once he glanced up at the clock hanging on the wall. He quickly reached down and pulled up his pants and underwear at the same time, Jinyoung ran his hands on his shirt trying to make it look more aceptable and less wrinkled before his hands moved up to fix his hair.

“Let’s have a second round then” The female purred, wrapping her arms around Jinyoung’s body as she left sloppy and wet kisses on his neck. “You’re late already so, who cares?” She asked moving her lips up on his neck to nibble his earlobe.

“I care” Jinyoung answered coldly, he had met her with the intention of ending their thing but it somehow ended getting sexual again. Putting his hoodie, he shoved her gently aside to exit the empty room where they had been having sex after practise. Sun Hee snorted sarcastically as she pulled up her panties, fixing the skirt she had been wearing “What? Jinyoung asked frowning, turning around to look at her.

“You care?” She asked arching an eyebrow “Why do you keep coming back to me then? She obviously doesn’t make you happy”

“She’s my wife and the mother of my child so cut the bullshit, you’re just a mistake” The venom in his frustrated words made the Sun Hee roll her eyes “I love her Sun Hee, you’re never going to mean the same she means to me” He told her.

“Sure, you better hurry up though, you don’t want to miss out the first apointment of your lovely pregnant wife” Sun Hee opened the door of the practise room to leave but not before she had the last word “We’ll talk about how it went when we meet again”

Jingyoung didn’t waste his time arguing with her. He rushed out of the practise room and basically run out of the building and into his car. Thanks to the traffic it almost took him another 15 minutes to get to the hospital and by the time he ran into the waiting room breathless he couldn’t help but sigh relieved when he saw you sitting there, waiting for him.

“(Y/N) I’m sorry, practise-”

“It’s okay” You answered shrugging a little, your voice soft but you still had a sad smile on your lips.

He went to sit by your side to wait for a nurse to call your name but then he realized you were holding the ultrasound pictures on your hands. He had been late and he made you go through the first time seeing your baby absolutely alone just to fuck one more time the girl who wasn’t his wife, the girl who wasn’t going to be the mother of his baby.

You noticed Jinyoung looking down at the pictures and handed him one as he sat down next to you to observe it. 

“Where’s the baby?" He asked, his elbows resting on his knees as he frowned, genuinely confused as he looked down at it.

“Babies” You corrected him “We’re going to have twins”

[maddogmitch]

A Tropical Adventure

Hey guys here is my @smitecreatorday content, it is a lovely fan fic involving some of my favorite gods and goddesses hope you all enjoy and happy creator day!

It was vacation time on the battlegrounds of the gods, the fifth annual of such where all the gods take two weeks off from the battlefield to go back home to their respective realms. This agreement was made so none of them can be overworked and so everyone is relaxed and healthy for the return to the battlegrounds they all love.

Most gods travel back to each of their respective realms to relax but there are some who like to travel to the other realms to see what it is like there. This is the case for the gods Awilix, Xbalanque, Sobek, Apollo, and Ne Zha. The five decided they were going to take a trip to the newest realm to join the battlegrounds, the Polynesian Realm that way Pele isn’t on her own for the first of her many vacations.

At each respective camp each god got prepared for their trip they were all told it would be hot and sunny in this land so to dress appropriately. At the Mayan camp both Xbalanque and Awilix where just finishing packing up there respective clothes. Xbalanque was bringing his fire dancer outfit he got last year in hopes of impressing the lovely Pele with his tricks. While Awilix was saying goodbye to their fellow Mayan gods and telling Ah Puch that if he damages any of his nails while she is gone she will never do them again.

Over at the Egyptian camp Sobek was just finishing up his packing for the trip. He had a little regret due to turning down an offer to spend the vacation with Ao Kuang in his castle. He felt bad for saying no since everything was going great between the two but he wasn’t used to this kind of romantic interest from another god or goddess, the most attention or interest he got was from his mother. But he needed space and Ao Kuang accepted that.

At the Greek camp Apollo said his goodbyes to his twin sister wishing her good luck on her hunt and told her his plans. He knew it annoyed her when he kept going on about himself but she was kind enough to always be there for him. He gave her a hug and asked her if she could bang him a buck or something on her hunt as the meat here on the battlegrounds has gotten old and he missed the taste of Greek food.

Finally at the Chinese camp Ne Zha grabbed his swim shorts and staff as thats all he knew he needed before leaving his tent and running into Ao Kuang. The two relationship with each other has improved greatly since he defeated the Dragon King.

“Oh Kuang, what brings you to my tent i figured you be off to your castle by now?” The Lotus Prince asked

The Dragon King frowned a little as he felt embarrased to ask someone he once considered his mortal enemy “I have came to ask you a favour Ne Zha but you must not tell anyone i asked you to do this” he said with a bit of hesistant

Ne Zha was curious and asked “What does the great Dragon King need me to do?” he said with a smirk

Ao Kuang hesistated a bit before he asked “I know you are going to the Polynesian realm with Sobek and the others, and i was curious if you could make sure he stays safe while there”

Ne zha immediately replied “Of coarse i will watch out for your boyfriend for you, we may have once been enemies but im not gonna let anything harm that precious boy. The camps been a whole lot more fun since you began seeing him. I would be an idiot to let that end”

Ao Kuang breathed a sigh of relief “Thank you my friend, good luck on your travels” he said as he left towards the portal.

At the Portal to the Polynesian realm they all met up, each one of them greeted each other with hugs and chatter as they all patiently waited for Pele to arrive. Ne Zha stayed close to Sobek making sure to keep his promise to the Dragon King to protect him if any danger would come up. He knew it would be all in vain though as Sobek was more than capable of protecting himself and others when danger arose. But he liked having some sort of responsability on this trip.

As the gods talked among themselves a loud bang came roaring through the battleground, they all feel silent than the ground began to shake violently. Ne Zha senses some form of danger ready his staff and stood infront of Sobek to do his best to proctect him. Than out of the ground at the entrance of the portal something began to emerge from the ground.

It was Pele, the gods all let their guards down as the goddess of volcanoes began to speak “Welcome gods and goddess to the Polynesian realm!” her voice echoed throughout the battlefield in a defining roar.

Awilix couldn’t help but chuckle “You just love making grand entrances don’t you?” she said holding back a bit of laughter

Pele looked over to the goddess of the moon and replied “There is no fun if you just show up, gotta add a little fire to it” she chuckled “Now come on everybody no time to waste lots of sun and fun to be had in my great realm”

She went through the portal first and the rest of the gods sprinted with exitement towards the portal as they stepped through they all gawked in amazement. The Polynesian realm was not like any of them have ever seen before. It was a large island with palm trees lining the beach, up towards the centre of the island there was three cabins which all were made out of mixture of wood and straw.

Ne Zha couldn’t stand the silence any longer “What are we just standing around for? Lets start partying!” he shouted as he bolted down the beach.

The other gods shouted and began to chase him as well all except Xbalanque who waited for Pele to return. Some of it because was because he liked it while the rest was he knew better than to just leave without the hosttest. She arrived shortly after and smiled as she saw Xbalanque. The two walked down the beach to catch up with the others talking away.

All of them changed into their bathing suits and began to swim and have fun on the beach, Xbalanque changed into his fire dancing costume. Awilix couldn’t help but poke fun at him “Trying to impress the new girl Xbal” she said with a smirk.

Xbalanque couldn’t help but blush as he answered “What no, i am simply getting ready for the show i am putting on tonight. It has nothing to do with Pele”

Awilix laughed “Xbal you know you can’t lie to me its all over your face, as well as i been noticing how you look at her as well as act when she is on the battlefield. You are smitten with her and most the Mayan camp knows” she said with a smirk

His face stopped blushing to shear fear “The whole camp knows have i been that obvious?” he asked thinking that he really hasn’t acted that different in battle than normal when Pele is around.

Awilix nodded as she gave him a hug “Don’t worry Xbal just be yourself and im sure she will grow to like you as did every other god who has met you”

Xbalanque smiled and began to prep himself for tonight nightfall was coming soon and he knew that this is something that needed to be done right in order to pull off without any mistakes. He began twirling the boa’s in proper fashion and making sure they were all tied perfectly together.

Meanwhile Ne Zha was having a blast playing water games with Sobek and the others. He took his staff and was moving the water in big waves and hitting the other gods with them. Apollo took advantage of the warm sun and began to work on his tan as it had faded dearly since the last vacation and he felt it would be wrong if the Greek god of the sun had a weak tan line. But this didn’t last long as one of the waves Ne Zha made came and hit him on the beach, at first he was furious but than he got an idea on how to get some payback.

He got up and walked away from the other gods for a bit, he took out his lyre and began to play it. He was hopping this music would attract something that could assist him in his little plan, something preferable big. His hopes where answered when a whale emerged from the depths of in the distance singing along with his tunes. This was a first an animal from the sea of this size has been attracted to Apollo’s music so he was in a bit of shock that his plan actually worked. Normally his uncle would prevent such things from occuring as Apollo had a history of playing tricks on his siblings and cousins.

But this wasn’t Poseidon’s realm, this realm was ruled by a different sea god so it worked. Apollo began to make his way towards the massive beast hopping it could understand him and he could understand it.

As he approached the beast spoke “Why did you stop that lovely music young god?” the sound coming from a hole on top of it’s head which shocked Apollo.

Apollo replied “I am sorry it stopped but i need a favour from a majestic beast from yourself. My friends and i are not from this realm, we are guest hear under the invitation of Pele. They began playing in the water and one of them decided to start creating massive waves, one of which disturbed me and i was hopping you could assist me in getting some revenge on them?” he asked petting the beast head.

The beast turned and saw the other gods and remained silent for quite a bit before replying “I will assist you on two conditions young god. The first is you play me more of that music every night till you leave, the second is you request your friends to keep it down after the matter as they have awoken many of the creatures of the night”

Apollo smiled as he replied “I can do both kind beast, i will play my music to you at your request of time each night. As well as make sure my fellow gods keep the noise down as to not disturb the creatures of the night” he than put the beast head and began telling him his plan.

Back at the beach Sobek began getting Ne Zha back with better waves than what his staff could create, he was having more fun than he has ever had in a long while with the young god. He created one last wave when he felt movement in the water from the distance. He couldn’t quite make out what made it and brushed it off as a fish in the distance, he than created another wave and knocked Ne Zha flying backwards.

Ne Zha was laughing when he began to sense danger approaching, a massive beast of some sorts. He turned and began to focus his eyes and saw a massive sea beast emerged from the sea and splash down causing making a large wave. Ne Zha swam back to the others shouting and screaming about the oncoming wave.

The other gods didn’t quite hear what he was screaming about and turned to see the massive wave, they all began to swim out of the water and onto the land. Ne zha quickly grabbed his staff and began making waves back at it hopping it would at least slow it down or stop it entirely.

That’s when Sobek noticed someone on top of the wave seemingly controlling it form up there. He couldn’t quite make it out but he quickly did a headcount of the gods and knew right away who it was. He quickly shouted at Ne zha to get out of the water its no danger and told him to look at the top of the wave.

Ne Zha hearing Sobek’s call listened and saw the greek god on top of the wave riding it as it came crashing down just on Ne Zha. Apollo gracefully came down from the top and said “That’s for ruining my tan time, and as well as making pathetic waves dude”

Ne zha emerged and began laughing “That was awesome! How’d you make that wave so huge?” he asked with glee

Apollo smirked and than explained what he did and told his fellow gods to keep the noise down as they were waking creatures of the night up. Pele laughed knowing which beast Apollo had soothed and told him to make sure to keep his promise as that is not one beast you want to cross.

Night has come to the island and most of the gods were sitting around a fire chatting away with each other. Sobek thanked Ne Zha for warning him of the incoming danger and praised him for his courage. As they were chatting away the fire suddenly went out, than drums could be heard starting to beat. Pele began to grove to the beat of the drums.

Thats when tiki torches lit up around Xbalanque, he was in his fire dancer costume and he began to put on a show with his lit boas. The gods were amazed and watched in awe as he danced with the fire around him. Pele stood right up impressed with how cool and collected the god was with the fire and dance.

She began to approach him as he was dancing, Xbalanque kept his cool and let one boa go so low it lit a ring of fire around the two. Pele was very impressed by his showmanship and began to dance with him in the ring. The two were insynch with each other. The others looked on in awe as the beat got faster and faster, as the beat got faster so did the two.

Xbalanque than shot the two boas into the air and jumped with them flipping through the two as they moved so close to his body, he than landed and caught the two boas. A big blast of fire shoot out and the beat stopped.

The gods began clapping and cheering at the spectacle they just watched, Xbalanque was still down catching his breath hooping this was enough to impress the goddess of volcanoes. Pele began walking up to him and helped him up.

“You got some serious moves, i haven’t seen a show like this in a long time many of the mortals under my watch put up a show quite as you did. It was absolutely amazing. To quote a friend of yours ‘You move like a jaguar’ and like a true professional” she said with a smile still holding him.

Xbalanque was at a lost for words he didn’t know what to say, his body was heating up as this is the closest he has gotten to Pele without her trying to kill him on the battlefield.

He finally managed to find his words and said “Ever since i saw you Pele, it has been nothing but a non stop beat in my chest. Even on the battlefield i am amazed by your skill and shear beauty, you are nothing short of perfection and no matter what i do i can’t get you off my mind. So when Awilix asked me if i wanted to go with you guys to your realm i took it as my oppurtinity to show you how i feel for you. Sorry for the pun but you make my heart want to erupt right now from you touching me”

Pele couldn’t help but blush, she was fairly new to the battlegrounds and had never received such compliments from another god. She took notice of Xbalanque when she met Awilix and Chacc, she felt something for him but didn’t know what but now she knew. She didn’t hesistat as she leaned in and kissed the Hero Twin and held him close.

Xbalanque was caught of guard by this but eventually held her as he began to kiss her back. All the gods minus Ne Zha who hurled a bit at the sight cheered them on with laughter and happiness. The two stopped kissing and both said “Let the celebrations begin!”

Awilix stood in the background happy with what she did to help her friend, she knew right away that this was gonna be a vacation to remember, and she was right as this was only the start to their tropical adventures.

[icharchivist]

@x-theskyatdawn-x ​ replied to your post “@x-theskyatdawn-x replied to your photoset “huh hi, why had no one…”

TEACH ME THE LAVEN WAYS ;D

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

*annoncer from old movies’s voice* Do you like ships based on friendship? Ships with a lot of playful teasing going on between them? Ships with a lot of thematic parallelism?  Ships with a Light Quote? Ships that will definitly break your heart to pieces? Then Laven is for you!

under the cut because i ramble:

I think the best way to get into this ship is to focus on them, especially when Lavi is in the back. Because… damn shit gets intense. Honestly i didn’t even expect to ship them, it started as a joke, and then suddenly it hits me and i was "…..oh” ever since. (which is basically what happened to Lavi im just sayin’)

I think something I feel really strongly about this ship is that, Lavi started the manga thinking he didn’t care for people all that much. We know, thanks to the novel, that he was indeed getting closer to people in the Organization, but he still was keeping distant. 

When he meets with Allen, he imediatly starts to tease him. Something Lavi does with everyone, but what I love is how Allen does end up loosing it up around Lavi. He’s either extra polite with people (see with Lenalee) or he blows off completely (like with Kanda) but then with Lavi it seems a right ballance of him being still kind, but also still ending up wrapping into Lavi’s stupid stuff. They tease each other (the vampire arc) and Allen will be playful with Lavi, which imo shows he’s already more comfortable in general, since Allen usually keeps up the Polite Face he learnt from Mana.

Lavi on his end, well, he does evolve a lot around Allen. He starts the story rather cynical, but he grows so close of Allen that the loss of Allen hurts him far more than he expected. So much that he holds on the Ace of Spades.

 you… probably heard me fangirl about this beauty, but you should definitly read this post to get exactly what I mean. I think appreciating what the Ace of Spades represented was what made me so emotional about them to start with.

The framing when Allen dies is so big. Anita talks about how she believes Cross is alive because it’s the only thing that gives her strength, and this sentence? Is said while we see Lavi contemplating the Ace of Spades, the card that he links to Allen, and that it’s when he thinks to himself “that’s right, Bookman has no need for a heart” because that’s the moment he realizes his grief is taking over the emotionless person he’s supposed to be. 

Which goes on and on (and is even worse if you believe in Lavi = Heart theory, since long story short, the Lavi = Heart theory lays on the fact that we know the Heart of Innocence is hiding in the Order, it has been retrieved, and we know that it’s “creating dummies” - creating/modifying powerful innocences to hide among them without being noticed. And this point, the two innocences that changed were Allen and Lenalee’s after both of their situations have Lavi completley lose it to his emotions). 

Some of the further serious moments, Lavi knows Allen is alive, he knows he needs to controle his emotions, yet he immediatly jumps on Tyki when he meets him, furious, because it’s the one who hurt Allen. Lavi “I have No Heart” Bookman is a bad liar.

Once Allen comes back, Lavi takes a backstep, but you’d notice though that… Lavi is always kinda close? He’s always in the back. 

Until of course, this wonderful scene:

Nice Lavi.

^This is especially an interesting scene because Lavi had been keeping an eye on Allen ever since they met. After Lavi got to see the Akuma’s souls for himself, he was kinda disturbed by the fact that Allen could carry on smiling happily to not worry anyone while he was seeing those horrors all the time. I think from that point, Lavi started to see through Allen’s masks - that Allen’s smile was as fake as his, even if it had another reason for it. So Lavi gets to see through those smiles and acknowledge that Allen may be hiding greater pain than he may look like.  (better post about it there)

The whole Dream with Road is extremely interesting too, but it’s explored in the Ace of Spades post i linked: Road kept trying to find ways to break Lavi. She wasn’t just awakening Lavi’s worst fears, she was reading his heart to know where she had to hurt. So she tried - she played around. She first had Lenalee blame him for not caring for them, she has everyone turning on Lavi, she forces Lavi to acknowledge he’s failing those people. But it doesn’t break him. What does though? Is when she makes Allen appears to him, gentle, softening that Lavi held on to the card for him without Bookman’s knowledge - when she shows him Allen being glad of Lavi showing his friendship - only to have his “Bookman self” kill Allen because “he’s just ink on paper”

And that’s when Lavi lowers his guard, that’s when he falls down, that’s where the Ace of Spades becomes a blank page that run out of ink. That’s when Lavi’s spirit got broken: by having Allen being soft to him and being glad to be his friend, before being destroyed in front of him.

And while it was Lavi’s weakness, it was also his strength - as Allen called for Lavi. When you see how the later chapters say that the call of your name by a loved one (even if the loved one is platonic, as long as the feeling is sincere), can bring back a wandering soul back to his body. And Allen? Goes on the whole fight calling Lavi over and over, and hugging him because “Lavi, can’t you heart my voice?”. 

stuff i’m emo about: this^. 

And eventually, it gets through, eventually, Lavi manages to deal with what’s happening in his brain, and Lavi takes back control of his own body.

He has no memories of fighting Allen, and despite being in pain, he immediatly starts joking off with Allen again while Allen is basically being annoyed that Lavi put himself in danger this way.

And then Joyd comes, and suddenly Allen isn’t in good shape anymore, and Lavi, with the very few strength remaining to him, that tries to protect him and i’m emotional.

And then, when they go back home - things go back to normal. Actually, Lavi tries to find opportunities to be with Allen. He wants to ask Allen to sneak out the Infirmry with him to get food (it doesn’t happen because Allen is already gone, but Lavi “I have no Heart” Bookman was seeking for such a simple fun moment with Allen) - or later, when Link starts to investigate on Allen, Lavi tries so hard to stick around. Like there’s at one point, Link trying to get Allen to answer questions and asks for Allen to join him in the library for it, and Lavi, who was chilling with Allen before it happens, immediatly goes “i’ll go check some book what a coincidences ~” and is just shut down by Link, and he stops following. In a way, Lavi just wanted to stick around. Hell you even see him brushing his teeth with Allen (and Link and Bookman who happen to be there too, but Lavi and Allen are the ones to talk and jokes together), and i’m personally a sucker for those little domestic moments.

It’s after Lenalee’s innocence change to a crystalization that Bookman becomes  more severe and tells Lavi to focus on his duty as bookman, to not get closer to the innocence. And after that, Lavi starts to shut down. He gets distants.

Plus, a bit after that, there’s the Cross & Allen conversation about Mana - in which Lavi was forced to assist as a Bookman. He was clearly recording the scene, and he wasn’t pleased. He probably saw Allen at the lowest Allen has ever been, doubting even if he was ever loved by Mana - at a point in the story where Lavi was already knowing he was supposed to keep his distances. 

And well of course right now we know it’s gonna abe suffering considering their situations but….

What I’m trying to say still is that, Lavi and Allen are close. And they get friendly around each other, a lot even despite those walls they built around themselves because of the choices they made. And by wording it this way, I want to point out how it plays on what I called Thematic Parallelisms.

Lavi and Allen’s storyline are heavily linked to their Identity. They are two people who picked a road, and decided to stick to it (becoming a bookman/being an exorcist) but on this road, they ended up having to make decisions between two conflicting part of their identity (Bookman&Exorcist/Exorcist&Noah). Suddenly they’re being asked to pick a side, to pick who they really are.

Not to mention, they are both characters with names that aren’t really theirs. We know Lavi changes name all the time, and we know Allen’s name was only picked up after the death of the dog Allen, since his name was originally Red.  - meanwhile he named himself Walker after Mana’s death, he wasn’t named this way.)

They have such a duality, about who they are and what people expect them to be, and what they want to be, and what people force them to go through. They are both suffering directly from their bonds with the Noah (hell, considering Lavi is suffering especially because of the Bookman’s bonds to the 14th, it’s even bigger). 

In the end, though it’s just - they are friendly and they tease each other so much they let each other’s masks fall down sometimes. 

I love the fact they can have… just be dorks y’know. Like that time in the guidebook Allen chased down Lavi with Wasabi to have him eat it after Lavi took him a piece of food. Like they are just?? dorks?? 

Now don’t get me wrong, I totally get them as platonic, and they will always have an amazing dynamic no matter what, but i’m truly a sucker for Friends who just enjoy to have fun together, who tease each other, and especially, Thematic parallelism. Add a sprinkle of Angst with grieffing and fearing losing the other, and you got me convinced.

I don’t think i can explain it more for now since my mind is a bit blurry but o(-( ye. I. Really love their dynamics. And that cover i pointed out? It’s just one of those fun little moments between them i just love. I want more of that… especially since they will probably suffer a lot soon a ha ha haah aha .

Anyway hope maybe this can bring u to the laven side

join us we’re a few but we’ve been crying 

take care!

[galimatios]

fear thy fortune chatlog notes

thinking abt the underdeveloped au i have in that weird off color fantasy universe that i realized is probably similar in ways to bloodborne even before i knew abt bloodbornes plot but this is nice bc i can solidify parts of it and i can probably also combine it with the knights au i have

OK I FORGOT TO PUT A CW HERE BUT CW FOR ABUSE MENT AND GORE MENT

somewhere located in present day west asia slash east europe theres a country divided into numerous states in which princes and princesses (princex (poc)/princen/etc for gender neutral options) are perpetually in contest with eachother for the right to be the divine ruler of the country

monarchy is not guided by blood, rather the church is responsible for finding the chosen candidates via prophecy, fururesight, dream interpretation, etc, and these kids are taken from their homes and reared as royalty the nature of this country is ... severe. pain is a gift, proof that one is alive. much ceremony is based in sacrifice, bloodspill, bloodsports, and pain endurance. magic as practiced by the church is extremely powerful in terms of healing so almost all wounds can be healed provided the heart still beats its essentially one big huge freakish cult of a country that has customs that seem barbaric to outsiders

the divine ruler of each state is the princens, though more often than not their councils do most of the governing with the princen merely being a puppet figurehead. they go through rigorous training to sharpen their minds and endurance against all types of pain, so training includes physical, mental, emotional trials in which the princen is supposed to keep a clear mind, concentrate on mediation or some mantra, bearing whatever is thrown at them. additionally they receive the best training in both combat and politics as well as magic. not all princen can withstand the requirements ofc so they.. vary quite a bit in terms of stability/constitution. its a p sick system even without the knights added in bc thats super messed up

the knights essentially belong to their princens in heart body mind and soul, and each princen receives exactly one knight soulbound to them. they also undergo the same scouting process once the princen is identified, and they undergo similar training except theyre also essentially brainwashed into believing their entire purpose in life is to serve and protect their princen no matter what. obviously this aint healthy! knights delude themselves into it so hard theyll fight for the system that literally abuses them! but thats how cults work

that being said knights are extremely powerful. they act as the sole bodyguard of their princen and believe me you dont want to get inbetween a knight and their prince. they are known especially for their brutality when their lords are threatened. it is extremely common for limbs to be lost in skirmishes btwn assailants and a knight

this takes us to the games! which are essentially gladiator coliseum type bloodsport contests between knights of different princens. its a pretty big affair like how the Olympics are for us so the fanfare the cheering the everything is all there i prob dont need to describe it in detail but its very violent. its considered practice for the knights before the true battle-royale type event thats even BIGGER bc it determines who becomes god-king of the country. this time the princen join their knights in the battlefield and basically whoever is left standing is the new king

is it worth it? probably not bc i think being king actually means being killed to be sent up to the heavens bc god kings dont need bodies any longer in truth the entire debacle is a distraction set up by the church to keep the country under its own control. its super corrupt. the council behind every princen is actually made up of high ranking church members that convene regularly to manipulate the politics of the region

but thats mostly the governing sphere of this world. the commonfolk are removed from most of this violence aside from the indoctrination by the church and the messed up religion they practice. a lot of the belief system here relies on this concept of karma and fate over free will. fate is oppressive, cannot be changed, but god do they try that belief ties into how princen and knights are fated to be pairs, how princen are fated to either ascend to godhood or die trying

but there is one way to manipulate fates in this world there exists in independent of the church a monastery that practices the art of transferring karma. think of karma as a type of currency that can be spent, saved, used, etc. lots of good karma may be distributed amongst loved ones via a ritual headed by a monk, or bad karma can be "paid off" essentially. the amount of good/bad karma a person has directly affects their fortune and luck. this practice is more or less outlawed by the church but the monastery is slowly gaining power over the commonfolk and the church mostly leaves the poor folk to rot anyway- their agenda mostly concerns the monarchy

altho i can definitely see tensions rising with the witch hunting as influenced by the church. particularly nefarious visions may result in blame being thrown around and commoners getting killed for crimes they have yet to commit and thats thanks to the teachings of the church

anyway as of rn though the monastery is still pretty small but it is an old, ancient organization with magic that runs far deeper than the magic of the church. it is a much more subtle magic- monks practice little offensive magic (they are a nonviolent sort anyway) but the ability to exchange karma is rare and has far more reaching impact in the long run i imagine they have strongholds further to the east but anyway theres one trump card the monastic order has

a subsection of the order is dedicated to the keeping of miracles. and miracles are... monsters! they are semi-physical manifestations of literal suffering and the sheer emotional energy provided by them is enough to give miracles the power to.. well. perform miracles.

when a person dies in anguish, there is a chance that their bodies will not decompose the way they are meant to. instead they slowly dissipate, bodies turning coal black and ashen to the touch. these cannot be disposed of the normal way (curses, contamination, all kinds of horrible things happen) so instead these corpses get locked up inside brick cells within the monastery

once, one of these was opened only to reveal that the bodies were gone- only a humming, massive shadow that seemed to move as if made of flies or soot combined. and it spoke, too. this was the first miracle created it was discovered then that these creatures had immense power but could not leave the rooms they were imprisoned in, touch sunlight, and similarly they could not die

imagine like the witchs nightmares in pmmm and you get what its like to be a soul trapped in a miracle. u get to relive ur worst fears and regrets forever. it suck miracles also cannot direct their powers towards their own will, only the will of others. ofc they are still monsters and exact a price for their services, whatever it may be.

a meeting with a miracle does not come cheap or without consequence, bc although miracles can be performed, karma always rebalances itself in the end. monks tasked with guarding and curating the miracles are called gatekeepers and are often someone close to one of the souls trapped in the vortex anyway i think thats the basics of everything in there... i got an au w cyrus as a prince and alex as his knight and instead of sticking around for their inevitable deaths the pair run off into the countryside far far away

actually i think something went wrong in the ceremony. cyrus and alex win godkingship of then... something goes wrong. probably the whole die-to-ascend thing is a secret kept from the princen and the public and. alex does a thing a knight should not do a refuses to let the ceremony continue. and im p sure as soon as cyrus learns of the truth hes like haha well fuck that

then they spend the rest of their days actually experiencing what life is like outside of a freakish cult and my fucking feels

i think.. meanwhile the monastic order grows in influence and power making them the enemy of the church... and jonah (yonah in this au) sacrifices himself to the miracle containing his brother in order to give the miracle a corporal form. which means august and company now have a physical conduit for all that power they had.

bad news for the church! bc august was unrightfully killed bc of a prophecy saying that hed become a huge threat and a killer

funny how prophecies work!

so now hes out for blood and he probably uses his own charisma and power to stage a coup against the church and basically the country goes to hell and i think at this point cyrus thinks. i got out of there alive. i need to do something about this. so he and alex probably join in and become arbiters of the game esp since cyrus and alex were probably the best synced, most skilled prince/knight duo the church had seen up to that date so theyre very powerful. ofc theyre still only two people so i really wonder how theyll step in btwn these two opposing parties

augusts side isnt good either bc august... is only out for revenge and self interest. he has no interest in fixing the country or helping anyone in fact once august is firmly seated on the throne of power he probably declares himself god-king anyway the end game probably looks like augusts body (which is jonahs body) being destroyed and the miracle contained in it finally put to rest jonahs soul must have something to do with the exorcism process- theyve tried to exorcise miracles before and only ended up upsetting it into violent outbursts anyway thats enough rambling from me time to paste this all into a blog post

god what if august picked keith to be his knight. thats messed up. keiths so easy to manipulate and hed be such a wildcard of a knight. he has more magic potential than alex and hes faster on his feet. im imagining bloodlust frenzy almost hyena-like behavior. also i mostly just want to see keith being violent and evil and i have an outfit in mind that would look great with a little splash of red

think like minimalistic ouji but like all black and keith with knives and serving a clearly twisted (even more than usual bc of the miracle’s influence) august

god even better the aftermath of augusts death TIME FOR THE FUCKING FEELS TO KICK IN BC now Keith has no purpose/he FAILED to protect his king WHICH WAS HIS ONLY PURPOSE IN LIFE then alex coming in with cy and just no, you have inherent worth. what happened wasn't right im upset this is how alex and keith become family in this au

miracles i think in this case are definitely more of a means to an end i think narratively ie jonahs brother being killed and augusts soul being trapped within it- tho i think its a good tie-in into how the severe paranoid cultish way the society works ends up producing a lot of People Dying In Extreme Anguish

almost a buildup of sickness so to say.. a plague of the soul that's a cool avenue to go down tbh the idea that miracles are more like viruses spreading misfortune in the long run for some quick gain in this life but bc karma always collects her debts if i throw in some nice reincarnation that would effectively damn someone in their next life... that implies that this story may need to expand across different generations

mechanics being so much bullshit has happened in this country it houses multiple miracles whereas elsewhere its like one, or none, very few in their histories except possibly during wartime and famine

since magic is Exists in this it makes sense that the emotional energy combined w ambient energy would manifest in some kind of grotesque Being

oh no thats maybe why the church is manipulating things by purposely generating that emotional trauma in its society its producing unprecedented amounts of energy they can utilize as magic power oh  no thats super bad august would definitely take advantage of that bc hed definitely figure the truth out once hes back to being alive

im upset bc i think they use princens and knights to specifically create emotional energy

energy released upon death which typically happens after a knight/prince duo has been chosen... then the resulting STRONG ass char plague on their bodies are collected to make artifacts? yes

gems created from the ashen plague are embedded into a huge mandala that actually ... is the god-king itself

[ts-hvv4]

EPISODE FIVE: “YOU HEAR THAT NOISE? ITS THE SOUND OF AN UPRISING” - Chris

BARRY MANILOW IS DISGUSTED WITH THIS CHOICE OF CHALLENGE @nicole @owen @monty @andrew

Kage has just been voted out and I have a lot of thoughts in my head when LO AND BEHOLD Ned messages me saying how Jake talked about Armonia sticking together, also wanting Olivia safe, and Andreas/Dennis/me picked off. I dunno if it is true or not but I have to laugh.  Malik and Ned were supposedly on the bottom of the tribe, but I suspect now these two wanna flip and such. Now this is further complicated by me not knowing where Sarah, Matt, Nicklas, and Lukas stand and I fear that if/when we merge, there is intention on getting a person like me out. Nevertheless, I need to do as much talking as I can with people

Ned just came to me telling me, that at Ancient Thera Jake told him, they bamboozled my og tribe and want to stick together and stay "OG Armonia strong" and want Ned to save Olivia... Oh boy. I feel really really good about Ned telling me this, I guess that means that Olivia so far is the person to go, IF we lose the challenge and I somehow need to find out a way to warn the others, even though that could blow up my game come merge aswell. But first off, thank you ned <3

You hear the noise? It's the sound of an uprising! I am so about to start chanting some Les Misérables up in here. Like I can be a pretty calm person but when it comes to adversity, I don't whine and cry about it, I act about it to bring a change for myself and right now I feel I need a change or else I am screwed. So alas, it's time to rally the troops

how did last round even happen LMFAO... so skrt skrt lets rewind ladies! we lose the challenge because certain judges don’t have TASTE. and it was a mess cus we were all sure we would win so we didn’t talk for 3 days LMFAO. i was nervous cus my old tribe was in the minority, but i am close with Nicklas. I kept telling him and the others that i don’t really trust Trent and would gladly vote him out, however Nicklas told me before that there was some mistrust with Kage. So I pushed that to him, saying i would feel better with Kage going now, and that i’d vote trent the next time we lose. He said he would consider it but was very weary. ...then a couple hours later sarah decides she wants Kage out? I was confused, and Sharifa was freaking tf out. Oh also Sharifa told me she has the idol, fun FACT. But near tribal Sarah made a chat of me her nicklas matt sharifa and kurt to discuss a vote. We agreed on Kage, and somehow... he went home LOL. So, I guess I’m feeling a bit more secure. But in terms of the overall game, i am worried because apparently the other tribe thinks i’m inactive (um i give the energy i receive and matt and kage sucked ass at talking to me so i wasn’t going to bother having a dry conversation) so i wonder if people won’t take me seriously in this game ! boo. whatever. anyways i’m at the ancient thera and i better get an idol period 

I’m just a fat little bitch who loves berries

DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING? SINGING A SONGS OF ANGRY MEN? IT IS THE MUSIC OF THE PEOPLE WHO WILL NOT BE SLAVES AGAIN. WITH THE BEATING OF YOUR HEART ECHOES THE BEATING OF THE DRUMS, THERE IS A LIFE ABOUT TO START WHEN TOMORROW COMES!

im so glad we won immunity, i need a damn BREAK. but now i’m nervous that Ned is going to get voted out because he’s basically inactive lmao. but i hope he survives. sarah approached me last night and asked if i found my “Dani” in the game (aka my loyal ride or die) and i said no and she said good because she wants to work with me. she then asks if i’m good with sharifa and kurt and i say yes and she says that she “adores” them. hm idk what to think! i asked who she was close w on her old tribe, and of course she says “i like them all equally :)” -.- if we happen to lose again, i think i would want matt or lukas out the most because i don’t know how much i actually trust them, but i think we might be stuck voting trent if they really want us to pay them back for the kage vote. i just need another tribe swap!!!!!!!!

Too much pressure

Chris found the idol!!!!!! I am so happy for him, and for the trio of me/dennis/chris. I now know where half the idols in this game are ....... this is INCREDIBLE!! Olivia continues to not speak game with me at all, and Keegan isn't much better. Given the new tea that Ned spilled about Olivia and Jake, we are for sure targeting Olivia. The vote should be 3-2-2 right now, with Dennis, Malik, and Ned voting Olivia. Then Chris and I are voting Keegan, with Olivia and Keegan throwing their votes on either Chris or I. With the idol, even if we have any funny business at tribal like votes, etc - then we should be good..... i pray haha

We lost the challenge which is unfortunate but not surprisingly. This tribe is just full of challenge flops. Scrambling for tribal has been... minimal to say the least. DENNIS is saying he’ll vote for anyone as long as he survives the round. CHRIS is saying he hopes tribal lines aren’t still in play but is willing to do what he has to survive. And ANDREAS is just kind of floating there not scrambling too hard. The TINKY CLAN is currently deciding who to vote between ANDREAS and CHRIS since we want DENNIS around for challenges. Ultimately it doesn’t really matter which of the three get votes off as long as they don’t have idols and we manage to make it through unscathed. The McBITCHES still need to reunite. On that note, major props to the OG AMMONIA tribe for getting KAGE voted out.

OLIVIA and I are hatching a plan to maybe have MALIK idoled out of the game. As it turns out, OLIVIA and NED are both getting annoyed with how MALIK is playing the game and don’t really want to continue working with him. And that’s fair. I think MALIK is a great person but as a player. Yikes. He sure is messy. Right now we’re deciding whether we want to tell DENNIS straight up to vote for MALIK, hoping he passes the word to CHRIS and ANDREAS, or if we should hang back and just not really let them in on the current plan to vote out ANDREAS. We could just straight up vote out MALIK but that seems like a bad option at the moment. Might lead to a 3-3 tie next tribal and possibly rocks, which would be terrible.

I am BEYOND tired of Olivia slandering me, talking down on me, and trying to come for me not once but TWICE this game. I knew the Matt thing had to have been true because Chris told me and Chris isn’t a liar, he never lies to me. I didn’t know about Matt, but Olivia apparently confirmed it TO ANDREAS. Seriously, what is this girls issue with me? She’s been at me, saying all this shit about me but acting so nice and cool to me to my face. I felt like I’ve legit done nothing to her, and I’ve even apologized more than once just in case I did anything. But now you wanna come for me. Hopefully tonight this bullshit will end, with it in my favor of you going home, because I am so sick of her and her antics. I’m using this to vent so I don’t blast off at her whether I or her leave this tribal. Gotta be careful sis.

I really hope the core group of five actually have my back. I definitely feel they do, but I’m just so paranoid after the news recently about it. I really am so nervous because no vote has gone the exact way it’s supposed to so far, but I hope that is five are good and we all stay. If an idol takes me out I’ll be so sad. I love those guys! Ned, Dennis, Andreas and Chris! ❤️🔥 Teen Titans!

Today has pretty much been INSANE. I owned having the idol to Andreas/Dennis and hopefully they believe me when I say I just found it, Olivia/Keegan finally lived for Matt and Sarah's warning that they wanted Malik out, and so now, this is hopefully going to be a 3-2-2 vote of all Armonia, which will probably cause confusion with the other tribepeeps hopefully! Meanwhile, Ned/Malik want to work with us, Malik trusts me even more, and tbh I feel so good. It all is beginning to feel like it is coming all together!

[wwoofcsa]

My time with karla

Ok so bali’s good for the first two weeks, we have some wonderful adventures, and we eventually find our way to ubud for the first of many times, and we find a flyer for this free ocean yoga festival in amed a few days later (on the east side of the island) we’re super intrigued and we head to canggu for a few days before we go out to amed. In canggu, this wonderful girl (who will soon change my life) shows up and we hit it off. Shes orginally mexican, but she, like me, left her home country. In her journey, she moved to the states for a few years, and then flew out and has been in chiang mai for the last year or so. We sat in the pool for a bit upon meeting and spoke for a long while. It was almost a magneticism, karla and i, we just really enjoyed eachothers company. So we kept hanging out over the next few days. We slacklined, did some yoga, and really just connected. Meanwhile the gang and i went and saw FKJ, NIghtmares on Wax, and Slow Magic at this bougie festival at the W hotel and we met up with rain and fox (for the first of a few times) from the burn. The festival was hilarious, as we just got plastered and had a fucking blast, pulled some shenangigans, and were the life of the party...or should i say the life of the super fancy hotel.

Anyways we told karla about this festival we found out about and she asked if she could accompany us. It made me super happy how direct and open she was. And i remember being a bit nervous, but i wanted to let her know that i was interested in sharing a room together if she was into it. After we talked, and agreed to share a room, we all made our way out to amed on the 4 or 5 hour ride.

Arriving in the evening the hotel lost our reservations and through a 45 minute process of events, we eneded up getting upgraded to an unbelieveably beautiful sister hotel of theirs, for the same price. This place was an actual temple, It was incredible. We shouldnt have been allowed to stay there, it was directly on the beach and had 3 enormous rooms with two outdoor showers and a kitchen and living room. So karla and i got our own private little villa in back where over the course of the week our relationsihp and bond deepened as we explored each other and ourselves in the form of love making, sharing, beautiful workshops we explored and amazing ecstatic dance partys. She was a brilliant and lovely companion. She was excited to try new things, she loved meditation and she was so hilarious. She was kind and gentle and loving, and she had my back. It was the first time id ever really felt that a companion could really provide support for me too, a true partner, and equal. I very quickly fell into an ocean of love, but a love this time, without infatuation. A love with (as the community of tamera would define) my blue ball in tact, and still with me, and a love with true contact. A love that seemed to carry intention, awareness, gentleness and consideration. A love to be proud of, with no shame, guilt, fear, or demands. Would this girl play a role in my future? I didnt know, and didnt really dwell, i was just happy for the time that was happening.

 We decided, a few days in, to trip on acid together. It was ultimately a really incredible experience and i went pretty deep into my own mind. I took away a few things. First off, i deepened my connection to trees, as in many ways i felt as if i embodied a tree and grounded myself into my life and into those around me in order to support them. But i also experienced something else interesting, i felt the support of karla, it felt that because she was fully able to take care of  herself, and even had extra to give, that i could finally feel supported in my own journey as opposed to focus on taking care of someone else. It felt almost as though i was so much stronger because i had someones support behind me. This was definitely something new for me in a relationship and it became very clear during our trip together. In the past, ive been used to feeling like i am consistantly taking care of two people, and with karla, it felt as if i i both of us were watching out of both of us. At the end of the day, it was super nice that she was open to tripping and i see that the manifestation of a psychedelic lady is coming to fruition which makes me so happy and excited for the future

In the next two weeks we contintued connecting, checking in and exploring. We dealt with the challenges of me balancing my time between her and my group of friends and i learned a great deal. I learned how important a group is to me, and how hard it is for me to feel seperated while im spending in a group. I think it triggered  feelings, like i must choose between people i love, when i really love them all and i want to dedicate time and energy to everyone. I know for part of the time mikey expressed feelings of “losing” me to karla, and feeling like our trip was starting to diverge from what we had originially planned (ill go into this more in depth at a later point)

Through these challenges, we grew, and communicated and so to lighten the mood ill share some funny stories that happened along the way.

Scooter story

So one night during the ocean yoga festival, there was an ecstatic dance experience. Ecstatic dance is an awesome forum for expression through movement. Its basically a 2 hour dj set where everyone has the space to dance however feels good for them, they can do yoga, meditate, dance together, dance alone etc etc. It’s basically a space that holds the freedom to move and enjoy without alcohol or drugs. So the location of the ecstatic dance was a bit far out, but we had done some acro yoga there a few days before so we knew the route, the night was amazing and we danced our faces off, and i got a bunch of new songs via my shazam addiction. 

flash forward a few days, there was another dance party out on the beach right in front of the yoga shalla where we had danced only nights before. Because the journey was so long (30 minute drive) and it was already night time, one of our friends that we had met offered a short cut. He owned one of the restaurants in amed, blue earth, which and INCREDIBLE charcoal pizza. Like, this pizza was so good we got it seven times, thats how good it was. I would give the rest of my lifes savings, just to eat a life time supply of this pizza. Anyway, so we get this short cut where we basically drive to the beach and walk 20 minutes down the beach. We park the bike and for some reason decide to lock the key hole, just in case there are theives by the beach and we didnt want our bike to get stolen blah blah blah. So we lock the bike and something weird happens where it seemed like the lock was stuck. No worries, we headed down the beach and started our treck to the party. The walk was lovely, along the beach at night, and we finally arrived to the bonfire party combo. We stayed for a while and danced and chatted, but after a while we both felt the call to get the fuck back home. As we walked back came across some bio luminscense!! The plankton in the water was so beautiful so we played fora  bit, as it was the highlight of our evening. So we contintued on and after some time arrived to the bike which we would find out soon, was inevitably locked forever. Its not that the keyhole lock was messed up, its that the back of the key itself which unlocks the keyhole lock, was worn down and stripped. It was at that point i realized that i had no more internet on my phone plan and after about 40 mins of tryign to look up youtube videos of how to break into our bike, and about 5 people coming by and failing to help us, we decided to try and contact mikey or max to help us out. It was about 1:30am and after about 6 tries, max finally answered, thank fucking god. I tried to keep him on the phone, explaining to him the mild emergency, and thank god about a half hour later, mikey and he pulled up and took us back. After a long, exhausting evening, we slumbered into the night, gearing up for the next days journey to kuala lampur for my visa extention.

Last last lastly, we had a fun experience one evening that is particularly worth noting. We were starting to explore a bit of intimacy one evening and as we got a little deeper into it, my earing got caught in her nose ring and karla and i got stuck for like five minutes cause our faces were so close together that we couldnt see how to undo it. it killed me and heres some evidence belowww

[ivegot7scenarios-blog]

You’re Beauty I’m Your Beast || Pt.3

Author: Ivegot7scenarios

Genre: Romance/ Drama

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 1,628

Summary: Your relatively normal life is turned upside down when you find out that your father has been kidnapped by one of the city’s biggest crime bosses. You have no idea what to expect but you know that your life will never be the same.

[Masterlist]

You're numb. There's no other way to describe the sensation that runs through your body. You fall to your knees, the guards who were holding you let you do this. They know just as well as you do that you're not going to run. Where would you even go?

The world is muted, your vision is blurring and it isn't until you take a shuddering breath that you realise it's because your eyes are filling with tears. The rest of the room is silent, even your sobs are muffled. Jaebum, his shoulders still tense, turns to face you. You gaze up at him unsure in that moment who you hate more, your father or him.

He crouches down in front of you and moves his hand towards you, reaching out to touch to your cheek. You flinch, the memory of what he had just done to your father fresh in your mind. His eyes soften slightly and he pulls his hand away, instead taking a handkerchief out from his pocket. He hands it to you and before you can stop to think you take it. It's soft, the material nothing like the fabric of his suit. It looks like something a woman would pick out for someone, what with it’s light blue colour and dark blue trim, his initials are embroidered in the corner, it’s a personal touch is surprising to you.

"For what it's worth. I'm sorry." You’re startled out of your thoughts, your eyes flicking upwards to meet his gaze. He’s waiting patiently

“What are you going to do with me?” Is all you can bring yourself to say. Your voice is hoarse from your sobs. You feel embarrassed for some reason that he should see you that way, tear stained cheeks and all.

His head tilts to one side as he ponders your question. “I can’t very well leave you here now can I?” He smirks, sharing in his own private joke before standing up again. You follow his movement, amazed at how effortless it is for him. “You little miss, are going to come home with me.”

Not for the first time that night you’re shocked into silence. “What? Please...just let me go. I promise I won’t tell anyone what happened. Please.”

“I really wish it were that simple. I really do but I know what all that’s just an empty promise.” You shake your head and open your mouth to deny it but he holds up his hand effectively silencing you. “It’s late, I’m tired and I’ve already made my decision.”

He looks over your head and gives Jinyoung, and the other guard a silent signal. You can feel them reaching out to grab you. You retch yourself from their grasp, lurching to your feet before stumbling as quickly as you can down the stairs. Behind you Jaebum sighs looking at the others. “Why do they always run?” he asks. He passes a tired hand over his face and calls out lazily. “Jackson?”

Meanwhile you’re trying your hardest to escape. Your blood is pounding in your ears and you can see the door in front of you, just a little further. You can feel the cold handle in your grip and you’re about to go through it when you’re hoisted up into the air and over someone’s shoulder. You had stupidly forgotten about the guard that had let you in when you first arrived. He brought you back to where the others were and set you down in the car that had previously been occupied by your father.

“Thank you, Jackson.” Jaebum came to stand in front of you and he did not look happy. “You’re only making it harder on yourself you know.”

You refuse to make eye contact with him. You felt like a child that was being scolded for bad behavior and you refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing that your failed escape attempt had affected you. Even so you could feel his gaze boring into you. Eventually you broke and met his eyes. He didn’t look upset just disappointed. After a moment he turns away from you. “Take her home, but make sure she doesn’t know the way.”

You hear a rustling behind you and suddenly you’re plunged into darkness. Someone, you’re not sure who, put a blindfold over your eyes. The only emotion that you can seem to conjure up is fear and it’s all consuming. Hands that belong to a stranger grab you by the elbow and lead you down the stairs. The short journey seems so much longer now that you can’t see but you soon feel the cool night air hitting your face. You’re then placed into the backseat of a car. In the middle, sandwiched between two people.

Whoever is driving has the radio playing. You don’t recognise the song but you find that you like the melody, it’s soothing tones ebbing away your fear gradually despite the fact that this situation is anything but ideal. Aside from the music it’s silent. It’s softness envelops you like a blanket and before you know it you’ve fallen asleep, your head resting against the shoulder of whoever is sitting next to you.

The sound of music may have put you to sleep but it’s the complete lack of it that wakes you again. You can hear movement all around you and you realise that you can only be in one place. The house of Im Jaebum. Your fear quickly returns but mixed with it is a savage curiosity to know more about your jailer, for what else could he possibly be?

You’re told to get out of the car and you do so obediently, unsure of what terror would befall you were you to disobey. It’s ten steps to what you can only think is the front door. Then three quick steps up a small set of stairs. You feel something brush your leg and you faintly smell flowers. Roses. Again you’re surprised, like the handkerchief it’s much too feminine to be chosen by him.

You walk a bit further and by then you can hear your footsteps reverberating against the walls. You hear the door shut behind you with a click and your stomach drops. You’re trapped and the only way out is through seven men that you couldn’t possibly take on your own.

Without warning the blindfold disappears and you find yourself blinking into the light of a chandelier. The house is much bigger than you would have thought, nearer to a castle than a house. It’s cleverly decorated but tasteful the walls adorned with pieces that compliment each other. You find it hard to believe that only seven people live here but then again you find this entire situation hard to believe.

The only people with you are Jinyoung and another man. He’s every bit as handsome as Jaebum and Jinyoung and idly you wonder if that’s a requirement for joining Jaebum’s gang. This man is different though, he meets your inquisitive gaze and he smiles at you. It’s the first real show of kindness you’ve received and it’s enough to almost bring tears to your eyes but you’re interrupted by Jaebum’s arrival.

You avoid looking him in the eye, chewing on your bottom lip nervously. His eyes sweep over you,  waiting for you to look up at him but when you don’t he sighs and looks to his men. “Jinyoung, you can retire for the night. Youngjae if you could show Y/N to her room please. I’ll be doing work in my office.” When he leaves he doesn’t look at you. Unwillingly you’re hurt by his snub but you quickly brush it off telling yourself it’s far better to be ignored than the object of his attention.

“It’s this way miss.” A soft voice by your side makes you jump and you blush. Youngjae, as you now know he’s called, tries to smother a grin. “Come along. You’ve had an eventful night  and I’m sure you’d like to get some rest.”

You nod in answer, not able to trust your voice. He smiles again and you follow him up a staircase, only vaguely aware of where you’re going. It’s only when he clears his throat to get your attention that you realise you’ve stopped. Youngjae chuckles softly and opens the door to let you in.

The bedroom is just a lush as the rest of the house, fully furnished with all the amenities you could possibly dream off. There’s a door that leads to what must be the bathroom and when you step in you can’t help but notice the springiness of the the carpet.

There’s a soft knock at the door and you turn to see that someone has joined Youngjae, Jackson you think his name is, the one who stopped you from escaping. You can’t help the small prickle of anger that goes through you upon seeing him. “Jaebum, says to tell you that you’ll join him for breakfast. This isn’t a request.”

“What?” disbelief coats your voice. “You’re joking right? First he holds me prisoner and now he’s requesting that I join him for breakfast. Well you can tell him that I’d rather starve than have a meal with him!”

You slam the door in both their faces and lock it. You’re trembling, shocked that you could get so angry. It takes everything you have to get to the bed and once there you crawl into the middle and curl in on yourself. All the tears you’ve been holding back start to fall. Before you know it you’re sobbing into a pillow, you refuse to think of it as yours. You soon fall asleep, welcoming any escape from what you can only think of as a nightmare.

[leaughrilke]

what was pregnancy/childbirth/going home for the first time like with finn vs. maia? how about what it was like to take stella home for the first time? how did each kid adjust to their new sibling(s) when maia/stella came home? i'm such a sucker for Brand New Baby headcancons lol

me, rubbing my hands together evilly bc my friend u dont understand, i have been waiting for a sucker just like u bc I AM SUCH A SUCKER FOR BRAND NEW BABY HCS AS WELL, HERE ARE MINE FOR THE SUPERBABIES

so like the pregnancies were highly planned, no surprises or anything and results were waited on with equal excitement bc like????  holy shit theyre doing this????  and HOLY SHIT IT WORKED?????  

but like……once the initial excitement died down a little, lena starts to worry a lot??  and i mean this is particular to finn, bc like with maia it was more??  ok i kind of know what im doing, but with finn she had no experience, nothing to go off of.  like she can hardly remember her birth mother and lillian was terrible so like….its not as if she has any model for how to be a mother and she’s not sure she’s really thought this through.  like she likes kids well enough??  thinks theyre cute and isnt uncomfortable around them, actually is quite good with them and babies love her almost as much as they love kara, but this will be different, this isnt just holding jess’s niece when they’re at the company picnic, this will be a baby that comes home with them, this will be their baby, their kid to screw up and that’s terrifying???  holy shit

meanwhile kara is like??  so excited oh my god.  she’s so pumped and so loving and she feels like she’s overwhelmed in the best way, where her heart feels really full and she knows that when the baby gets here it’ll just spill over in the best way and she cant wait for it.  and she fusses over lena, moves her schedule around specifically to allow her to drop by l-corp a couple times a day to bring lena lunch or a snack, and she’s like the ultimate partner u know like she keeps the fridge stocked with whatever lena’s craving, always goes to every doctor appointment and childbirth classes, never grumbles when lena wakes her up bc her back is aching or she’s starving all of a sudden or she can’t sleep and the baby is in a weird position.  she puts together all the furniture for the nursery, is That expectant parent that spends a lot of time in the baby section of target, brings home probably more clothes than a single baby can wear.  she’s so excited???  like……how to explain this hmmm…  okay so we know how much kara loves her family, right??  bc she loves them a lot, she rlly does and its not at all that she wishes for biological family or something but theres like a certain…..pull??  i guess??  like this baby is equal parts her and lena, and she has this image in her head, like what if their baby looks like her or more like lena, what if their kid has her mother’s eyes or her father’s strong chin.  like?  she gets to see krypton live on, is what it boils down to.  she gets to see her family and her community and her planet alive and well in the little heartbeat they hear, in the grainy image on the screen at the ultrasound

the pregnancy itself is actually rlly smooth??  and like, when lena’s not terrified, she rlly enjoys it and like knows how lucky she is, like her morning sickness is p tame and only lasts the first couple months.  and like??  its not that she dislikes being pregnant or doesnt want the baby, she very much does, she already loves this little thing growing inside her so so much, just on the basis of it being a piece of kara, she’s just worried she’s not good enough, that she wont ever be able to be good enough to be this child’s mother.  but she just tries not to think about whats going to happen at the end of this, focuses on the way her heart skips when she feels those first flutters of movement or the way the tension slips out of kara’s shoulders the moment she gets home, the moment she can hear their child’s heartbeat.  they were never rlly an out on the town sort of couple, spent most nights tucked up at home, but now even more so bc lena gets tired at like eight at night, so most nights they’re on the couch or lying in bed, kara resting her head on lena’s lil bump, talking to the baby in her mother tongue, telling them all about this great world they’re going to get to see.  when lena’s lil bump turns into a big bump, then its usually them cuddled up on the couch with lena leaning back against kara’s chest, head on her shoulder as she dozes and kara’s tracing out the kryptonian alphabet on lena’s belly and its warm and the cats are snoozing nearby and there’s a stack of baby clothes in the laundry basket on the floor and a half assembled rocking chair in the nursery and its just??  good????

overall its rlly good like there’s some bad moments, some breakdowns along the way.  like it kind of scares lena a little how much she loves this little thing that??  doesnt??  even???  exist yet????  like she cant hold them, cant see them, but god, she already knows she’d do anything for them.  and kara has a few moments where she breaks down as well, where she cant remember a kryptonian word or the details of something she thought she remembered are a little fuzzy and god, what if she cant??  what if she isnt able to pass along her history, her culture?  what if she has this opportunity and she fails, again?

and they’re both so soft with each other, kara picks up on lena’s worry and lena picks up on kara’s and they try their best for each other, they do their best to help even when they’re struggling with their own things and lena tries to learn kryptonian and like….listen, she’s not great at it at first (particularly with pregnancy brain making everything a little fuzzy), but her accent isn’t terrible and she learns the basic vocabulary, enough so that she can confidently say she’ll be of some use in teaching their child to speak the language along with english.  kara buys all the parenting books lena glances at, sits up at night with her to read them, finds a mothers day card even though it fucking january and tucks it into lena’s bag for her to find and tear up over, talks about how lucky their kiddo is that they’ll have lena as a mom as if its the most natural thing to say

towards the later part of lena’s pregnancy, when they’re getting closer to the due date and lena’s getting uncomfortably pregnant and nothing’s fitting very well, not even the maternity dresses that kara finally convinced her to buy around month seven, kara kind of becomes a worrywart.  like she’s been v protective of lena the entire time but now??  anytime lena shifts or sighs or rubs her back, kara’s like WHAT IS IT, IS IT TIME, DO WE NEED TO GO and has like most of their stuff loaded up into the car, ready to go before lena’s has a chance to be like ……kara im ridiculously pregnant, im just uncomfortable, love its fine i promise

that said,, then she’s overdue and even more uncomfortable but the fear has set back in??  and she goes into labor p early in the morning, doesnt say anything abt it bc she doesnt want it to happen, not now, but kara seems to sense it, sticks a lot closer to lena than normal, even for overprotective post-due date.  and then lena’s water breaks???  and she’s crying????  and kara’s like holy shit okay but they dont have time to rlly do anything to talk through it, barely have time to get to the hospital before lenas like……in Active Labor, like ready to push active labor and there’s no time to get an epidural, but luckily she doesnt rlly need one??  she’s in pain, but its not as bad as some things she’s endured, but she’s still crying, begging for this baby to stay put, dont move, i’m not ready and kara’s crying bc she’s split between being heartbroken for her wife and being so so excited to her their child

and then finn’s there, crying loud enough to be heard over lena’s sobbing, kara’s assurances and kara looks at him and is so in love???  she’s so in love, he’s so beautiful, she tells lena as much as she gets to cut the cord and some little part of her knits back together when she helps lay finn on lena’s chest, watches as lena’s eyes clear, brows relax, watches as that same love kara feels dawns in lena’s eyes and its so much???  its too much, but its so good????

and everything is still so good for a while!!!!!  like the few days in the hospital, they’re just kind of in a blissed out stage where nothing is fazing them like......family comes to visit, theres four emails from snapper sitting in kara’s inbox, clark comes by and is visibly uncomfortable but they literally dont give two shits like look at this thing we made!!!!!!!  look at him, he’s beautiful and he’s got all ten fingers and all ten toes and look, he looks bald but he’s just rlly blond!!!!!!!  like.........they are just so in love???  

but then they go home and its different bc there isnt anyone to help them and for kara its like....idk its sort of like she’s super duper aware of her powers when she’s out in the world, like hyperaware and vigilant, but she’s used to being able to relax a little at home??  and now there’s this tiny fragile nonpowered as far as they know baby that is depending solely on her and lena for everything and suddenly she’s like shit i’m going to hurt him oh my god i Did Not think this through and then she like refuses to hold finn except under very specific conditions like sitting down, pillow in her lap to support him from below and lena’s a bit too wrapped up in finn to rlly like register this fact, a little too tired and sore and in love to do much more than notice her wife’s hesitance 

and its not as if kara’s like......//avoiding anything to do with finn.  like she’s still v much in love and wants to be around him, she just doesnt trust herself??  so she’ll still get up when finn’s crying at night, sits up with lena when she nurses him, gets lena whatever she needs during the day and overall does her absolute best 

lena brings it up to alex finally, one night when she and maggie come over to coo over finn and kara’s run out to pick up dinner.  lena and alex have grown a lot closer since lena started hanging out with the superfriends, alex sort of spotting that quiet sadness within a few minutes of having an actual conversation with lena and subconsciously sorting her into the same category of annoying psuedo-sibling that she had winn.  and by this point??  alex is basically as much a big sister to lena as she is to kara, defends her as vehemently as she does kara.  so lena goes to her with this, asks if kara’s said anything about not feeling comfortable or being afraid and alex is like ??  no, whats going on and then lena tells her everything she’s noticed, tells her the guilt she feels for not knowing how to help but she’s exhausted, like that new parent bone deep exhausted 

so alex corners kara just a little, calls her down to the deo for a fake emergency and then locks them into one of the training rooms bc she knows kara, knows she wont admit to anything when lena’s around, knows that she’ll keep trying to uphold this facade that she’s doing okay bc she doesnt want to stress her wife out.  and karas been sitting with this feeling for nearly two weeks??  basically since they went home, so there’s not much prodding alex has to do to get it out of her bc she’s exhausted too, is crying within a few minutes of talking tbh

alex hugs her for a long time, until she stops crying eventually and is like??  i dont have easy answers for you and i wish i did, but kara, you’re not going to hurt him and she keeps repeating it, keeps telling kara that she knows her probably better than anyone and she knows that she’s never going to do anything to hurt the people she cares about and kara’s thinking about red k and alex knows it so she just tightens her hold on kara’s shoulders and leans down a little to catch her eye and she’s like kara, this is your son and its like oh.  my son.  i have a son.  and suddenly kara’s crying again but more from good emotion??  like i have a child and i haven’t been holding him 24/7????  I GOTTA GO ALEX

so kara goes home and lena’s just getting up to get finn bc he’s starting to fuss a little and kara just gently pushes her back into bed and goes to get finn, picks him up and feels something settle when he quiets, looks up at her with big blue eyes that aren’t her color, not exactly, is something closer to her mother’s.  finn settles against her, one of his little hands sort of grasping at the fabric of her shirt, holding on and kara’s so???  overwhelmed???  and she promises him that she’ll be the best she can be for him, promises that she’ll never let harm come to him, that she’s going to keep him so safe and at some point she switches from english to kryptonian (kryptonese??), starts promising all sorts of things, starts promising that he’ll never be alone, that he’ll never be scared and lost and left on his own in a strange place, that she’ll never send him away, not without lena, not without her

lena hears it over the baby monitor but doesnt say anything when kara comes back into the room, having lulled finn back to sleep with a lullaby her mother used to sing to her.  she just pulls kara closer and they doze like that for a while and everything feels calm, settled for once

and then !!!!!  they’re just deliriously happy like finn is a rlly easy baby, doesnt fuss a lot, basically sleeps through the night from the beginning and is essentially the Perfect Newborn.  like they’re just??  so? ??  happy ?????  like lena has what is essentially unlimited maternity leave considering she can conduct a fair amount of work from home and catco gives rlly generous leave for all new parents so kara’s able to stay home for a long time, so they get to just sort of live in this wonderful little bubble for basically the first 4-5 months of his life and even after they sort of start transitioning back to work, its still rlly great??

like they do the mommy and me yoga and switch off weekends, kara takes him to swim lessons, they do walks in the park when it starts getting warmer out and like.......love showing finn off.  like he’s adorable and chubby and is rlly calm and smiley and like??  they’re so proud of him, they love him so much oh my god

UNDER THE CUT bc i always keep crying, im such a sucker for new babies

everything is a little harder with maia??  like it takes a little longer for it to work and when it does its immediately a completely different experience.  later on theyll think its probably bc maia manifests her powers a lot earlier, so maybe that’s what it was??  like she’s drawing more nutrients and stuff so that’s why lena’s so exhausted through the pregnancy but basically lena’s essentially bedridden for the first four and a half months with maia, either napping or feeling too nauseous to do anything.  once she hits five months, things get a little easier??  she’s still v tired a lot, but they think that that might just be bc they’ve got more to juggle, like she’s keeping up with a toddler and l-corp is acquiring a new subsidiary halfway across the world that she’s having to oversee from national city

kara worries abt her a lot in a different way from how she worried during finn’s pregnancy??  like this pregnancy takes a bit more of a physical toll and there’s a few complications, like lena develops gestational hypertension (her blood pressure, while achingly normal usually, stays high from the beginning) and her ankles just fuckn disappear and she just feels Bad through most of the pregnancy even though there isnt that emotional angst like there was with finn.  so bc of that, kara sticks p close through the whole pregnancy, is a lot less willing to take assignments that keep her away from home v long, gets v efficient when it comes to supergirl duties

but like??  stress aside, its a rlly cool experience for them bc finn’s around two and understands enough that he points to lena’s belly and says baby, likes to hug and kiss her tummy and its the Cutest thing in the world, like they have so many pics of finn being so sweet and like reading one of his picture books to lena’s belly.  and like??  lena gets to enjoys the pregnancy more bc she’s not as scared, not as petrified that she’s going to fuck up somehow, now that she kind of knows what she’s doing, now that she has a shining, grinning little boy that is like proof that she’s sort of good at this motherhood thing

so u know how lena’s blood pressure is high through the whole pregnancy??  well.  that’s not a throwaway fact pals.  she develops preeclampsia and gets induced nearly three weeks before her due date and like in the lead up to that, it’s rlly chaotic and scary like lena gets a migraine (and she usually gets those??  like that’s not uncommon but she didnt have any during her pregnancy with finn and she hasnt had any leading up to this one with maia) and goes to sleep it off and wakes up short of breath and like??  it just feels wrong, something feels off and calls kara at work and is like something’s not right and kara just flat out panics, drops all her shit and races home and lena’s kind of out of it and its terrifying??  its fucking terrifying and kara’s like fuck this, flies finn to the nearest superfriend for babysitting (it happens to be winn, who startles out of dozing at his computer screen to see little finn danvers grinning from the chair next to him, with a fully packed bag and a note pinned to it telling winn that kara will call soon) and she flies lena to the hospital, giving zero actual fucks about anything other than whether lena and the baby are okay

and it gets kind of crazy after that???  like kara barely has time to call the rest of their family and friends before things are like Moving and, again, there’s not enough time for an epidural but this time lena’s in a lot more pain, like this birth is awful, it rlly is, like lena’s out of it and in way more pain than she was with finn and kara’s scared shitless and their baby comes out quiet??  like no crying, no screaming, just utter silence and lena sort of collapses back on the bed and starts crying and kara’s not even able to get a good look at their kiddo with all the nurses working over em

and then the baby’s like screeching and one of the nurses hands her to kara with a smile and says here’s your little girl, mama and kara’s just like.......entranced and this little baby is so much like finn but so different already and she looks over at lena and beams and lena relaxes immediately, lets out this deep breath and kara’s like we have a daughter, lena and lena sort of sighs happily well let me see her and kara puts maia on lena’s chest, helps lena unbutton the top of her gown and unswaddle maia so she can rest against lena’s skin, feel her heartbeat and they’re so immediately happy???  like all the scary stuff, all the pain is immediately written over with this feeling, with maia’s little hand pressing right over lena’s heart and her eyes locked on kara

and then when things calm down and they’ve had a little time to collect themselves, for lena to get cleaned up a little, finn comes in and is so immediately taken with his little sister, like his eyes get wide and he’s got this small little smile and he’s so gentle without being told, sort of reverently reaches out to hold maia’s tiny little hand in his own and he goes my baby in this soft little voice and he crawls up in kara’s lap and asks if he can hold his baby and kara helps him and lena asks a nurse to grab her phone bc like.......why not get this moment on film.  why not capture her family all tucked into one chair like the most adorable nesting dolls

it’s maybe her lock screen for like six months

when they go home, it’s a little bit of an adjustment period??  not in the same way as it was with finn but in that now they’ve got two little kids with wildly different needs, like finn sleeps through the night mostly but has nightmares that he’ll need to be comforted from and maia wakes up a lot but more just??  wants to be near her moms???  like she doesnt cry so much as just stay awake until one of them check her and pull the bassinet closer to their bed

and for lena there’s a bit of worry over having a daughter??  bc its not that its all that much different than having a son rlly, she knows that and she’s the first to advocate raising children the same, but as a daughter of lillian luthor, as a daughter who lost her birth mother when she was young, but not young enough to completely forget her, as a daughter that has never had a solid maternal figure that supported her in her life, lena’s a little terrified of having a daughter??  worried that somehow, someway, she’ll ruin her

but it fades quickly??  like she and kara have always been v attuned to one another but since having finn, it’s just deepened??  so kara catches on quickly, talks to her about it one night when the kiddos are asleep and reminds lena that she’s a good mom, that finn adores her and so does maia already, its obvious 

mostly the adjustment is about just juggling the two kiddos, making sure finn doesnt feel left out and they work out a p good system, make sure to include him in basically everything

and finn!!!!  loves his baby sister so so much oh my god, he likes to drag his coloring pack into maia’s room when she’s napping.  like his moms will go looking for him and he’ll just be curled up in the comfy rocker in maia’s room, quietly coloring and he’ll shush them if he thinks they’re making too much noise and its the cutest thing ever, like he doesnt have the words for it but he just loves maia so much, wants to protect her and make sure she’s happy all the time

so its kind of wildly different with stella, bc like???  they thought they were done having kids??  mostly bc the experience with maia’s birth was so terrifying, like when they finally had a minute to process what all had happened it was like.......shit, lena could have died, maia could have died and it made them p hesitant to try for another kid, like??  they’re happy with two!!  and if they decide they want to expand their family, they’re v strongly pro-adoption so that’s probably the route they’ll go and that’s all nice and settled but then, well

kara gets a supergirl call at like six in the morning and she rolls out of bed, handles the issue and is on her way home when she glances down and sees something a lil shady down on the pier.  it’s probably eight or nine by now??  the sun’s up, but its winter so its still gray in the city, still feels pre-dawn and kara flies a little closer, sees a man on a pier and hears two heartbeats, his and one that’s weaker, faster, quieter, so she alerts alex and touches down and the man seems almost relieved to see her even as he moves closer to the edge and she tells him to stay, for his baby--because it has to be a baby, kara’s gotten too good at recognizing little heartbeats for it not to be, but the man just smiles sadly, says she’s not like me, i can’t love her right and just as the deo pulls up, the man jumps off into the bay and kara flies after him but he’s just......gone??  just gone.  nowhere to be found.  his heartbeat is indistinguishable from the roar of the ocean, kara can’t see him anywhere but kara can still hear that smaller one, and she hesitates for a moment before flying back up, touching down by the car and opening the door before the agent nearest her can tell her not to.  and theres???  this tiny little baby????  like barely strapped into the carseat, in just a diaper and kara’s like?????  immediately protective.  like the diaper’s obviously been put on by someone that’s never changed a baby before and she fixes that first, unclips her cape to wrap the baby up second, holds the baby close and turns around with this wide eyed look at alex third and alex’s like......well this is happening huh

and she’s?????  so small????  god she’s so small and kara’s heart twists and twists and alex calls out an address to her and it’s not far from the port and kara’s flies low, flies fast but she doesnt even get to the little apartment before she can tell, before she can hear the utter lack of life.  she lands just outside, looks up, looks through, sees the body in the bed, not moving not breathing and she looks down at this little baby in her arms, still sleeping and she just??  has a minor blackout tbh (metaphorically ofc) like she’s not sure what her exact thought process was but suddenly she’s at l-corp and the baby is still sleeping and she touches down, opens the balcony door gently and steps in and lena’s looking up, eyebrows raised until she notices the bundle in kara’s arms and like???  she doesnt Know, but she knows whats happening, knows its big and important and so she drops the papers she was working on, pads over and looks up at kara for a breath, then down at the baby and its like oh.  shit.  this is our baby now, isnt it

and kara starts explaining, starts speaking, rambling, falling over her words bc the gravity of what’s happened has just sort of landed??  it’s taken a beat but god she just watched a man kill himself, just watched this child be orphaned and its like??  she needs lena to understand.  she needs her to know why this is so important, but like??  lena’s already there, same page.  she’s looking at this little tiny child and deciding that she’ll probably be able to actually get some use out of maia’s newborn stuff, considering maia outgrew the clothes within a month.  like???  she looks nothing like finn or maia did as babies, is so much smaller and has this head full of dark hair, these dark eyes when she blinks them open to look up at lena, at kara, but she fits, you know??  its like kara and lena look at her and just like.....recognize her.  like she’s always been meant for them

and then kara’s just.......out of things to say, like she’s said everything she can and she’s just sort of looking down at the baby and so is lena and then lena’s asking can i hold ....her? and kara’s nodding, her, she confirms, letting lena slip the baby out of her arms and she’s just like lena, she’s and breaks off, throat closing and lena’s just nodding, smiling down at the baby and smoothing down the little cowlick in her hair.  i think maia’s old bassinet is still in the basement, she says and that’s that

the kids dont even question it??  like finn was young enough when maia was born that he doesnt even remember her coming home, she’s just sort of always been around as far as he remembers and maia doesnt have any sort of context for it, and rlly it doesnt matter??  like they crowd around lena when kara calls them over and finn promises then and there he’s going to be the best big brother and maia’s just staring all wide eyed at this little baby, decided that she’s going to keep her so safe bc she’s her little sister and the only other big sister she knows very well is aunt alex and aunt alex helps keep mama safe every day so.  logic, ya know

there is a bit more jealousy tho??  more from maia than from finn, bc she goes from being the baby to the middle child and like kara and lena are rlly good abt splitting their time equally, but there’s like??  more to do with stella, like they dont know anything rlly abt her background and they dont know why she’s not putting on weight and they dont know whether she’s just colicky or if there’s something they need to be worried about??  and its scarier too bc its all so normal ???  like they did all the tests for finn and maia, knew they had kara’s immune system, knew they didnt have to worry abt shit like whooping cough but like they do have to worry abt that with stella, its sort of like having a first baby all over again??  like there’s a lot of new experiences they’ve never had to think about before so there’s a little bit of jealousy from maia, but literally just a little, just like a couple temper tantrums bc kara says they cant play uno unless maia uses her inside voice, or bc lena can’t come see the picture she drew right that second bc she’s trying to get stella down for a nap

but they handle it rlly well??  like they each take a day with maia and finn, separately so they dont feel like they’re just getting lumped together, go and do whatever they feel like doing and do that ridiculously Good Mom thing where they each explain that, yeah, they’re having to spend a little more time with the new baby but they love them all the same, all equally and that they can pick something to do with their moms each month

that tradition actually sticks around!  like each kiddo picks a Thing to do with their moms, like finn favors the aquarium and maia likes to go to movies and stella usually just asks to go out to breakfast at noonans tbh (listen she is.........so much like kara sometimes)

so while finn and maia adjust p well, its not all smooth sailing.  like??  finn and maia were such easy babies!!  like SUCH easy babies, they rlly lucked the fuck out with them but stella???  oh god stella is such a difficult baby.  not like??  not like super-difficult??  but she cries a lot and the only time she rlly calms down is when kara or lena holds her and sometimes it not even full screaming crying, just quiet little whimpering that just like........breaks her moms’ hearts.  she also gets sick a lot??  lots of colds and stomach bugs and she doesnt put on a lot of weight for the first several months, like consistently on the low end of healthy.  like??  its all new territory for them, bc they never??  rlly??  worried abt finn and maia like this??  they never rlly had to

listen they heave a collective sigh of relief when their doctor tells them that she’s moved into the fortieth percentile for her age range like what????  she’s doing okay???????

anyway.  i’m crying